#still cant listen ti it without crying hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katarzynakrzysztofa · 1 year ago

Text

Kokushibo x Reader fic

Smut, non-con but she consents at the end?, aphrodisiacs, kidnapping, blowjob, riding, he calls her pet once, mild injury, yandere if you squint.

Description: Reader goes out to train, gets kiddnapped, gets injured, healer demon gives her aphrodusiac and she gets fucked :))) thats all.

I've always wanted to become a swordmen or more specifically a swordswoman, Watching my father training was one of my favorate activies! even though my father focused on my older brother in teaching the art of swordmenship I alwasy listen thoroughly. Despit my efforts to convince my father of teaching me aswell, I was rejected "A young lady such as yourself shouldnt be thinking about swords!" My father scolded me and force me to take lessons with my mother in cooking, cleaning, sewing and ect. While I enjoied these activities I didnt want this to be my future! So going against my Fathers wishes I went and took one of the spare wooden swords and went to the forest.

It felt amazing! Being able to wield a sword even if its just a wooden one is like a dream come true! I picked a location within the forest near a lake with lots of fresh fishes swimming within it. I practiced hard with my stance, remembering my fathers words towards my brother... "Keep a tight grip on your sword and legs, spread them apart and bend your knees slighty", as I recall all those intructions I put them in motion, and swing my arms towards a tree I choose as my spare buddy, I strike the tree with all the forces in my body... A scratch! I did it, I was actually able to successfully strike my 'opponent'! while I was celebrating, I didnt notice how much time went on, and while time flew on I continued to train without a thought in the world. While training a sharp branch stab her arm, "AH!" the woman shouted, she looked down and saw the branch pierce through her arm thats when she noticed how late it was "Father will get mad.. espcially after having a branch stab me.."

I looked through my bag that I brought with me and tried to heal or atleast stop the bleeding, I did so wrapping my arm in a bandage, was it good? no, did it stop the bleeding? yes. I thought it was enough as I ran through the forest to get home faster.

While running I heard footsteps... silent but it was so quiet in the forest it was noticible, I got worried at that.. someone was in this forest with me at at this hour. No, It might just be an animal, I thought to reassure myself and my safety.. I increased my speed just in case...

The footsteps sounded closer.. louder.. faster than mine, This cant be an animal, no.. I looked behind me to find a tall figure running towards me, A figure 2x my size running at me at full speed made me worry but when it came closer.. I saw no ordinary man.. no, I saw a man with six eyes staring right at my own eyes with the word number on written on the middle ones. My eyes widden in horror as my body freezes like a dear being hunted by a lion. The figure noticed my sudden stillness and stoped aswell, we were just staring at each other for a momment.

My mind went wild on what to do, If I ran I wouldnt be able to out speed it. I cant fight it with a wooden sword. All thats left is... death.. As the forest stayed silent I spoke out "What are you? Why are you chasing me!" I said, almost at the verge of crying, It was the end this was demon she was sure of it, She heard stories about monsters that hide within the shadows in morning and hunt at night, her own mother believed and told her about this but she believe them.. who would? The mans voice broke my thoughts "your blood caught my attention.. Rare blood". Attention? Her thoughts ran wild that she didnt notice the demon disappeared, and in the end she was knocked out.

It was no use, she was now somewhere unrecognizable, maybe a room. It had a bed and night stand in the corner, I was tied to a chair and had a gag in my mouth to keep me from screaming, I was scared as the demon left me alone for while.. I hope.. I hope were not in demon teritory!! As I was worrying about my stituation The six eyed man came back.. with another figure.. A demon perhaps?

"This person will.. heal your injuries.." The six eyed man said, injuries..? right. The thing that attracted the demon towards me. How could I forget

The demon walked towards me with a vile, A pink slimy substance was inside. "Now this will heal your injuries my dear.. but, it does have some side effects.." the demon said with a smug look. Side effects? I looked at him confused as the demon continued " you will feel some.. difference with your body, you might feel sick or.. aroused, it depends on the person taking the vile after all". What.

he took my gag out and forced the vile down my throat and left afterwards, leaving me and the six eyed demon alone. It felt.. weird.. VERY weird. "How are you feeling? feeling the side effects already?" he questioned. Dizzy.. and inflamed.. "I dont.. I feel hot.. is that normal..?" I said with a flushed face, "Ah." the demon sighed.

"You feel sexually aroused no..?" The demon said quietly, "No! I feel fine!" I obviously lying, moving around trying to free my hands, rubbing my thighs together to stimulate the heat I was currently feeling. The demon walked towards me, ripped the ropes that tied me and lifted my onto his strong arms, "Oh.." I sighed.. The feeling of another person let alone a demon felt amazing.. "I can smell your arousal.. theres no need to lie"

No! I cant feel such things for a demon! He might be attractive but that doesnt change the fact that he is a man eating demon that kiddnapped you! I tried to move away from his body "Are you rejecting me? Are you sure you will be able.. to handle yourself?" He said with a smirk, rubbing your thighs "...No.." I said quietly as I buried my face on his shoulders accpeting the faith I had. "Thats what I thought... Let me make this a special night for you as he kissed me passionately, I wrap my arms around his shoulders as support as I return this kiss.

He was bitting my lip gently as I opened my mouth allowing him access to my thoart, he quickly enters his tongue and took over my mouth, my body felt like it was on fire, A fire that would burn brighter until someone put her out, and this man right infornt of her, dominanting me and my body is the only one who can help me.

Before he took my clothes off he asked "Are you sure about this? This will definately change your life if you do... give yourself"

"Yes! please I cant handle it anymore.." I whimpered out as I felt my panties dampend.

He smiles gently before his smile turned into a lustful one, he ripped my clothes off in a swift motion, This night will DEFINATLEY change things.

(time skip)

I was moaning over and over again as my back was pressed on his sheets, he was pounding my pussy roughly "Do you enjoy this, pet?" he asked in a low dark voice, all I could respond with was a whimper that sounded like a yes as he laughted softly at that response, I've never had a man take me like this before, so passionately and rough. His dick was Big.. very big it hurt, but it also felt so good..

I was drooling as he changed our position, leaving me on top, I quickly bounced up and down to feed into my heat, the heat that didnt go out. I held onto his chest as support as I rolled my head back and let out a loud moan. "Nghh.. Ahh..! Its too muchh..!~" I said in a maon, I felt his hands grope my chest and play with my harden nipples.

He took my left breast on his mouth, licking, biting, pulling. It was an experience indeed.. The stimulation of riding his hard dick while he was playing with my breast brought me to my climax. "Im cumming! Im cumming! I cant hold it anymore!" I screamed, "Then cum" he said looking straight into my eyes while licking my breast, I squirted all my juice out leaving my pussy juice all over his dick, pelvis, and thighs with the loudest moan. I collapse on top of him panting.. he held my body tight.. I too hugged his body, I was about to fall asleep until "No,no no.. dont fall asleep now.. the night has just began, we have so much to do."

We fucked all night, he put me in so many different positions I thought I was a whore being bought and used.. like I was his play toy, maybe I was.. Im happy thought I loved it.

At the end, I was covered in his semen as was my insides aswell.

I was currently cleaning his large dick with my mouth sucking him gently as I ran my tongue on his cock, He was grunting softly, holding my hair up and pushing my me deeper than I already was, I moan softly as I closed my eyes, my jaw was sore and tired from having been stretch for so long.

I looked up and saw the demon with all his eyes lightly shut and he looked dazed, it was cute and hot at the same time honestly.. He then trusted into my mouth gently and slowly until he got a rythm, I stayed still talking it like the good pet I am, pleasing her master. Oh I feethe heat is starting to light up again.. He started pounding my mouth, his dick bulging on my throat and finally after a few thrust he came inside my mouth, the feeling of his thick, sticky, hot cum going down my throat was so arousing, I started touching my pussy as I stared at his moaning. Fingering myself and atlast came too.

I took his cock out of my mouth, kissing the tip of his dick before letting it go, He then laid down on the bed panting, I crawled up to him and laid on top of him pushing my body on his and wrapping my arms around his neck. He then placed his hands on my waist holding me. Our sweaty body mixed with cum were embracing each other. "I still dont know your name, mister.." I said quietly as I buried my face on his chest.

"Kokushibo" he answered quietly, "You may call me Kokushibo."

Does this make sense? No. :))

#kokushibo x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kokushibo #kokushibo smut #smut #x reader

90 notes · View notes

subspencer · 4 years ago

Note

I had this in my thought in my head all day during so listen:

Sub!spencer with his glasses ! He has been needy all day, so he has been whining all day and getting on you nerves a bit. As punishment you tie his hands up and tease/edge the absolute shit outta him. It’s getting so heated that his cute little glasses start fogging up and bc he is tied up, he cant do anything about it which in turn makes him even more frustrated. Just imagine the desperate noises he’d make 🤤

wc: 965 cw: dom!afab!reader, sub!spencer, light breath play, bondage, orgasm denial (briefly), little bit of crying and begging

______

“Please?” he pants, squirming against his restraints. “I wanna see you.” Spencer cries out and it turns into a whine the longer you stay quiet.

You only tied up his wrists, but you may as well have blindfolded him, too. The second things got hot — literally — his glasses fogged up with the condensation from his own warm breath. He couldn’t see out of them enough to recognize anything even an inch from his face, let alone to see you on top of him, rocking your hips as you fucked him slowly.

You fawn at his desperation, grazing his jaw with your hand tenderly. “You know you can’t, baby.”

His begging doesn’t help his case. It’s what got him into this situation in the first place.

All day long, he followed your trail, begging for your attention. “Such a needy whore,” you mutter, remembering how he acted earlier.

You got one day off from work, and you wanted to use it to get some things done around the house. Cleaning, chores, errands — boring, but necessary things. And Spencer decided he was more important, trying to interrupt you every time your attention moved away from him.

He tends to be well-behaved for you, but today was the closest he got to being a brat. He got in the way of everything, begging to be kissed just one more time for five times in a row each time you stopped. Every task took twice as long with him lingering around in your home.

Then the way he acted at the market crosses your mind, and you grind down harder on his dick, scratching your nails down his chest. A hiss leaves his lips and you smile.

You thought maybe he’d settle down once you left the house, so you let him come shop with you. Turns out that if he’s desperate enough, his hesitance to PDA flies out the window. He kept wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder when you wouldn’t look at him, nuzzling into your neck and peppering kisses on you for attention. He said he’d stop if you kissed him, but he lied. Repeatedly.

Nothing was enough for him. Not then, and certainly not now. You were going to make sure of that. Spencer wasn’t going to get nearly enough to make him cum tonight.

“Can you feel that, baby?” you smile, your hips picking up pace. He nods furiously, a soft sob leaving his lips. He knows what you feel like when you’re about to finish, the way your muscles tighten around him as you chase the feeling.

His head thrashes to the side as he tries to use his arms to knock the glasses off his face.

“Just let me see —” He starts to plead again, and you cut him off with a hand on his throat. You don’t squeeze down, at least not very hard. It’s just a warning that you could very easily stop him from speaking, if you wanted.

In a moment of kindness, you bend forward to give him a kiss, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment as he feeds his hunger. He groans when you pull away too soon, tilting your head back to let your sounds release freely as you feel yourself reaching the end.

Your hands dig harder into his chest, helping you thrust down harder, faster, until you feel the knot in your stomach burst. Fluttering around him as you quietly scream his name, dropping your head and biting his shoulder as you settle down from your high.

He didn’t see any of it, but he felt every millisecond of it. And it left him aching, still hard inside you. As you climb off of him, you can see how red his cock is, leaking at the end. Desperate to cum, just like you knew he would be.

You run a thumb across the tip, wiping the fluid leaking from it, and clean it off with your mouth. He whines again, hips pushing into thin air, unable to find any friction or relief.

“I know, baby, I know you wanna finish.” You hum, pushing the sweaty hair off his forehead and combing it neatly to the side. “And I almost wanna let you.”

His mouth hangs open, a stream of begs escape. “Please — I’ll be good, I’ll be so good I promise.”

“After today, why would I believe you?”

He doesn’t have a good answer. He’s an absolute mess, writhing against the sheets and rubbing his wrists against the restraints until they turn red. A tiny tear rolls down his face, wetting his temple and hairline, as his chest wracks with a quiet sob.

“Are you really that needy? Gonna cry for me?” You tease.

He nods, unashamed of how much he needs you.

“Fine,” you grunt. It would be so easy to deprive him, walk away from the bed and leave him like this until he learns his lesson. But this is Spencer, and you’ve always known how needy he is, and it shouldn’t surprise you when he behaves this way anymore.

Your palm hovers over him, ready to help him over the edge, when he’s already coming hard, making a mess all over himself. Now that is a surprise; you’ve seen him in all stages of neediness, but he’s never cum without contact until now.

He whines, breathy and high pitched, and pants as he calms down. You laugh at this new layer of desperation you’ve uncovered, like it’s a new trick he’s just learned. With soft pecks on his nose, right at the bridge where his glasses rest, you smile, “Just when I thought you couldn’t get worse, you prove me wrong.”

#sub!spencer #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid self insert #mgg smut #matthew gray gubler smut #blurb

1K notes · View notes

lvminosityy · 3 years ago

Text

☆ —— welcome to infinite entertainment! it's NAM SEUNGHO, who is the STYLIST OF BRAVEHEART. i’ve heard whispers that the 25 year old is pretty LIGHT-HEARTED but lowkey WEAK-WILLED. also, doesn’t he remind you of KIM HONGJOONG?

Hello friends! Tis I ya girl Emma (eden, jooha, & danbi mun) fashionably late like always. I’m so super excited to get to plot and write with all of you! I’ve brought to you my son Seungho. HERE is his stats page and I’ve created a pinterest board for him HERE in case yall want a little look at it. But if you’d like to plot please like this and I will come to you!

Here’s some stuff to know about Seungho:

Seungho was born the only child of two very loving parents and grew up in a little strawberry farm they tended to. They did the best they could, but they couldn’t always provide him with what he wanted. They worked hard and taught Seungho that the only way for him to achieve everything he wanted was to work hard as well.

Despite the lessons they tried to drill into him, he was never one to invest all that much time into his school work. He loved art and was actually quite good at science since he liked working with his hands and liked the little experiments they conducted, but the rest seemed like a bore to him so he never took it too seriously. He never took much all that seriously if he’s being honest with himself.

He didn't have their green thumb either. Once he was past his stage of flitting around in the fields and making mud pies, he lost almost all interest for what his parents did for a living. It left him in a sort of limbo wondering what the hell he was going to do with his life. And with no certain direction in life he was constantly getting himself in trouble in school. It was a confusing time where he found himself experimenting not only with drugs and alcohol but his own sexuality.

However in one of his trips to Seoul he was introduced to the glitz and glam of the idol life. Idols always looked so perfect and beautiful. He wanted to be immersed in such a vibrant lifestyle, but being a rule breaker was never going to do him any favors in this business.

Seungho didn’t want to lose his freedom either. So he figured the best way to live like he wanted and still do what he wanted was to be a stylist. Close to all the action without losing much.

fun facts

His hair is currently red fading into pink bc i like it

cant cook to save his life. lives off junk food and late night ramen runs

loves to dance. took free lessons by a neighbor when he was younger

loves to star gaze. star gaze loving bitch because hes much more a night person

pansexual. if you can make him smile or laugh, you can win over his heart. however being around so many people who care so much about their appearance and reputations above all, hes come to learn that people arent always the way they appear in front of others. created some trust issues.

prone to getting himself in trouble

a little bit dramatic. just a little :)

plays a little bit of the guitar. not the best but not half bad. still uses the same pick he was taught with bc its special :’)

likes photography too. especially likes using his polaroid camera and keeps the pictures hes taken on the tour in a little box

A huge fan of writing in a journal. Its where you’ll find his most intimate thoughts that he can’t bring himself to say aloud. Only one other person had peeked in it- his best friend Seonhwa. And from it came a very personal song he wrote for his ex and first love. He’s only listened to the song once. Despite it being an amazing song, he cant bring himself to listen to it again. He’ll cry.

now the proud father of a black cat named binx :’)

#infinite:intro #hope that link works

21 notes · View notes

zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years ago

Text

Over.

For those who dont know here is the link for the first part of this lil thing :3

You exhaled with a smile at seeing the new look on your apartment. It came with a generous amount of space on both living room and bedroom. Some of the Hassaikai members helped you with all the mobile and some boxes you still had to look over to put things back in order.

Humming to a song that was stuck in your head (and he wadled away wadle wadle) you kneeled on the ground to open a tiny box to start, but you soon frowned at seeing the contents of it...

It was a tiny little glass box, with a carnation safetly placed inside of it... along, it came a bit of your treasures you savored.. a pair of white yet with tiny little delicate detailsyou knrw he knew you love it; a tiny necklace, simple yet elegant, pingent of a heart attached to it; earings with the symbol of the hassaikai and others that were little white wings...

You soon took notice of the drops of tears that were falling down on your lap and inside the boz as you picked the earrings of the Hassaikai... Chisaki gave you this when you both started dating... it was the first ever gift he gave to you along with the carnation...

'I am by far one of the most normal men considering of what the society sees me... but I hope you that you have the patience to bear with me until I give you a life and a clean world to live in until there my dear.'

The words repeated on your head as sobs started to rip from your tgroat as you clenched the earing to the point they pierced your skin enough to hurt as you curped yourself on the floor in misery...

You wanted to forgive him. You wanted to forget what happened on that disgrace if a day...

But you just couldn't. You couldn't forget thhe warth yet neither that murderous gaze Kai had on you. You couldn't forget how his rough hands that usually touched you like you were made out of glass instead grabbed roughly on your arm to the point you cried in pain.

You couldn't forget how he used his quirk on you out of anger.

"Thank you." He muttered monotonously as he grabbed the bouquet full of roses, safetly wrapped up so it couldn't come in contact with him as he exuted the shop.

Ever since the accident, he hadn't been able to get sleep without having night terrors of the terrified look you had... the screams for him to get away from you, to not wven rouch you with a single finger...

He felt worse than the dirt his shoes collected while walking on the dirty streets of where he lived.

He stared at one single rouse out of all in the bouquet he just paid for it, sighing as he adjusted a petal that was a tad bit out of place only for him to accidentaly rip it from the poor flower.

He stopped at that, watching the petal dance while falling into the ground... his eyebrows frowned as he merely sighed after closing his eyes.

"It seems everything I do I end it up ruining it on a way or another..." he whispered to himself, lowering both arms in defeat.

In others it would be seen as childish for him to get all depressed over a simple petal falling from the bouquet... but not for him.

He was the one that was abandoned on the streets to starve; he was the one whose only brought problems more than pride to the man whose took care of him as his only son... he was the one that hurt and traumatized the one he loved over a anger tantrum...

What was wrong with him..? He though, bringing his free hand ro rub his face and sigh deepely.

Although, his ears peeked up at a sound of laughter. Your laughter. His precious angel's laughter which he hadn't heard from months... he swear he felt like crying in glee as he started to almost run towards that beautiful sound he oh missed so dearly.

What wasn't he expecting was get right in front of a scene that left his heart immediately dropping to his stomach... you were indeed laughing of course.

But in the arms of another man.

On the other side of the street he saw how the taller male bear hugged you and lifted you up off the ground and twirles you around as you squealed. Scrunching up your nose at him kissing hard on your cheek.

He slowly lowered down his hand where it held the bouquet as he stared at the scene that completely torn his insodes out as his eyes carried sadness and heartache...

Despite all of those feelings, he still found himself smiling as a tear ran down his face... it was better this way. You could have a normal life, not surrounded by body guards, not have to worry about constant magging of getting clean or sickness... having someone that could give you what you deserved...

He turned his back to walk away... but what wasn't him expecting was that you had noticed him. Walking away. You furrowed your eyebrows, and against your better judgment, you started to run toawrds him, not seing the open signal neither the car that was coming...

"Ka-Chisaki!" He heard you and let out a confused sound before turning and widening his eyes in horror and dropping the amount of flowers he had at the sign of a car coming and honking.

His feet moved before his mind could, his gloves already dissapeared as he shouted foe you or the car, he didn't know anymore, to stop.

Your eyes widened at the sound of honking and before could let out a sound you were engulfed in muscular arm, bringing you close to his chest as he almosy broke his wrist when making contact with the car and overhauling it in a question of seconds.

The screams were gone for a minute and all you could hear was your and Kai's heartbeat at top speed and his uncrotoled shorts of breath.

A half of the citizens clapped their hands while others immediately left the local as the owner of the car, a young man, finally recovered from the state of panic and got down angry yelling at both of you.

"You stupid bitch! Couldn't see a damn sign that I WAS THE ONE TO GO?! AND YOU TOO YOU DICK! You conpletely destroyed my car you asshole!" The male shouted as Kai put you back on your feet as he glared daggers at the short man.

"If a car cost more than a life so there-" the car was back in shape as soons as he destroyed "You can have it. But just for you to know I am not just an 'asshole' as you reffered me." He growled between teeh as you tensed... you knew that tone of voicw way too well...

"Pff-! Yeah whatever old man-" Chisaki grabbed the hem of the shit of the man and stared dead in his eye "H-Hey! Let go basta-"

"You're bold enough ti call the leader of the yakusa a bastard, arent you?" He growled, and the life of the brunnete seemes to fade away from his eyes as he heard those words.

Before you could say something the scared male face was brought to you as Kai growled and overhauled just a tad bit of yhe hem of his shirt to prove his point.

"This you rascal. Is not a bitch. She is a woman. One that deserves respects and was almost killed by you driving at an unforgible speed you irresponsible germ. So before I lose my patience, say your apologies. Now."

The man stuttered some apologies as your eyes widened at Chisaki before he let go of the brunnete to dall on his knees qs Kai glared at him.

"Get out of my sign before I change my kind on cutting your fingers off."

You stared dumbfounded at the zpeed the little man had to enter his car and get the hell out of thwre becore you gasped at seing Chisaki starting to walk away from you once again.

"H-Hey! Chisaki!" You called but he only stopped and crouched down "You're seriously not gonna say-" you stopped when he got up and turnes to you with a brojen face as he stared at the absolute destroyed bouquet... the majority of them were sprawled on the ground and somewere broken and petals lost and sprawled on the ground and on the street.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled as you stared confusely until he spoke on a sadder tone "Those were meant for you.." you hesitantly grabbed and stared in pity yet a tad bit of ahocked at the warmth you felt on your chest.

"You.. didn't had to." He sinply blinked at your astonished expression.

"I know. But is the least I could do." He muttered before a bit of awkward silence was in the air as you stared at the white roses in your hand, threatening to appear a smile on your lips until the man just sighed and turned midway away from you.

"Have a good afternoon." You eyes widened and before you could even mutter the words wait, he just left. Hands stuffed on his pockets and head hung low.

You furrowed your eyebrows before your eyes dropped to the ground where a mess of white petals and broken roaes were sprawled...

You buffed before looking at a meteo station and walking on the direction of your new apartment.

"You know," he heard the old male's voice ring from the door way as he tried to listen to some calm music layed on his bed and documments on hand "You could take a break now at then Chisaki, maybe some tea to help calm those nervs boy." He stopped reading for a moment as he sighed, looking at Pops unamused.

"Thank you for the offer. But I shall decline."

"Son you camt expect to just succumb into depression like that and think I would allow it." The words of the epder shocked him to some instant before he hesitantly locked eyes with grey ones "I bet you havent triies to verbally apologize to them even once, am I wrong?" Pops croased his arms as he stared at the man dressed in black.

"... try saying sorry for breaking a cup. The word itself wont make the cup return to its original form, it will still be broken." He sighed as he placed the papers on the desn after getting up "This is the same situation. Is not like I deserve or neither knows how to love someone anyway."

"So you just will accept (Y/n) to walk out, end things and be like that?" The elder gesture with his hand at Chisaki "You want to end things with the one you claimed to lo-"

"I didn't want it too, OKAY?!" he banged his fist on the desk as he droppes his head with closed eyes as Pops frowned "I didn't... I.. I cant take the thought of (Y/n) leaving me... but at the same time.." the elder widened hsi eyes at the drop of water that fell on the papers, staining a bit.

"I cant take the thought..of hurting such an angel like I did again... I wouldn't forgive myself." He spoke through teeth in hopes a sob wouldn't escaped until he felt the hand of his mentor pulling him into a firm hug.

"And you say you dont know how to love, huh?" Pops muttered with a smile whipe putting all of his force on the hug as Chisaki's tears deopped silently "Idiot boy, you are just as worth to love someone as anyone else. A mistake wont lwt you stop you if you do know you were on the wrong of it and want to be better." His hand patter the brown hair of Kai much as he did inumerous times as when he was just a child.

He pushed Kai away and sadly smirked at seeing the face of Chisaki all stained with dry tears but no traces of redness... just a broken look.

"When you act like this. Like a man. Is the times I am most proud of you, my son." His breath hitched at the male's words "i will get some herbal tea wether you want it or not. And believe me boy, things are going to get better soon or later."

"... sounds impossible." He muttered as soon as the elder left the room and closed the door.

It was his birthday. Tommorow was his birthday.

You frowned before inhaling sharply. It would complete almost three months since you just stopped talking with him. You were better. But you continually beated yourself up for craving that man's touch or just for hearing some word out of him.

The tiny little presents had stopped when you read a card where he apologized to seen like a stalker and would leave you alone for you to move on. One day after the day you almost got run over by a car and he had saved you and even defended your moral from that asshole that almost shitted his pants at only knowing Chisaki was from the yakusa.

You sighed... this was the first of a ever time Kai had hurted you... and this seemed like it did not only affected you. You sure was hoping for Kai to get possesive or even threatening you to come back to him like many cases you saw on the T.v. But you should have know that by now, Kai was different.

Despite how much he denied, he was a old and gentleman at heart, always looking for ways to please you through gifts since he hadn't has any form of touching in his lifetime that he didn't saw as sick...

... that was it. You had decided over fighting with yourself over three weeks by now.

You were going to give Chisaki. Your Kai Chisaki, another chance.

Packing your purse and everything you could carry on your suitcase, you locked the door of your apartment and left on destination of the house of the Shie Hassaikai.

The gates openes coincdentaly when a black car entered and you took the chance to sneak in. Tip toeing to your once shared bedroom and letting your things over there before you jumped with a squeal at a soind of cough.

"Is such a pleasure to have you back here my dear." You smiled at the old man's face and immediately hugged him, catching the elder in surprise before he chuckled and returned your hug "Care if I may ask why are you back out of the sudden?"

"I... I missed your son. So much." You spoke in embarrassment as the elder smiled and showed with his hand the hallway.

"I guess he is on a room reading something, go text your luck." You nodded, bowing with gratitide as you hesitantly walked and indeed found Kai sitting on a sofa, leg crossed over another as he read a book.

"'The only thing we never get enough of, is love; and the only thing we dont give enough of is also love.' Tsk... not a tad bit wrong Miller sir.." you heard your boyfriend mumbling to himself as he closed the book with a sigh to rub between hsi eyebrows.

You took careful steps while arms crosses behind your back as you looked at his hunched over form and messy dark brow hair.

"I never took you the type to read love quotes." You speak quietly, giggling at how Chisaki flinched and opened his eyes wide at seeing you just mere feet away from him "Hi."

"(Y/n)?" He spoke almost in disbelief as he stood up , hope on his eye swith a fraction of second before returning to that hollow look "What.. what brings you here?"

You rubbed your arm while taking carefull steps towards him, seeing how tense he was.

"I.. think we should at least had talked.. before all of this happened at least."

"You dont have too." He immediatly replied with a stoic look "Is all clear. And I dont take your reasons away from you. You have the right to have a life of your own." You furrowed your eyebrows and honestly being hurt by his words.

"What? So.. so you are okay with this? W-With.. is all this about us?" You pointed at the two of you as sadness overtook his features.

"... I juust know is for the best. For your happiness and safety at least. You dont have to make excuses to make me feel better. I know what I did. And believe, I regret it and hate myself with every piece of my soul."

"Well... I sure cant just pat your head and tell that 'aw baby it was nothing you want a cookie?'-" you saw how he cringed at your words and looked down at his feet "But... but I can say other things." He arched an eyebrows before his breath hitched when he felt your arma circle his chest as you rested your cheek where you could hear his heartbeat...

He stood there with hands on the air in both fear of hurring you and conoekte shock until you spoke something that completely broke him.

"I forgive you Kai... we can still be together... if you want of course."

The sobs ripped from his theoat without warning as his arms came down to gently hold you as he buries his face in your for the sake of his pride.

You felt tears of your own fall as well, staining Kai black social shirt, which he wa completely hot on it, as you clinged for dear life on him, after months finally feeling secure on his arms like you used to do...

"I'm so sorry..." he mumblex, swallowing a hiccup as he rested his chin on your head as you closed your eyes to let the tears fall.

"I know..." you mumbled before parting away from hin as you both stared at eachother until you smiled sadly as he wiped your tears away as you mirrored his actions. "Who would have thought.. a simple quirkless girl making the big bad yakusa cry like a child." You giggled as you saw the hint of tiny smirk beneath that mask.

You saw how he pushed down the said article to reveap his whole handsome face as he stares back at you.

"Should we start all over then?" You offered as his eyebrows quirked up.

"What about that guy you were talking with before... the almost acvident if you could say."

"... my friend thhat was telling me about his wedding in the next month you mean?" You asked with a tiny laugh as his face dropped in realization. "Y-You thought I was dating him?!"

"Well..." he sighed, looking away from you " You had your reasons to."

He widened his eyes at the sudden touch of your hands on his jaw and almost gasped when you pulled him to crush your lips with his... finaly registering what was happening he allowed himself to close his eyes and just... enjoy the moment.

"My jelly bean." You whispered with foreheads conected as Kai scoffed with a smile.

"Dont start with the stupid nicknames now." You smiled at him before he hesitamtly put his hands on your waist "so.. about what happened-" you shushed him gently before ppacing a more sweet kiss on his lips.

"Hush, is over now. In the past. I know you didn't meaant it, and I forgive you. Dont overthinking about it okay? Is over now my love." You nuzzled on his neck as he leg out a watery chuckle and engulfing you on his arms.

".. I guess.. I guess is over." He smiled as he closed his eyes and breathe din the svent he so desperately craved for months.

#overhaul x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki x reader #bnha villains x reader #bnha villains #overhaul #chisaki kai #it ended in fluffy as promised!#bnha fanfictions #bnha fanfics #zuffer writings

123 notes · View notes

inagetawaycarxo · 5 years ago

Text

Mind Games | Spencer Reid

❛❛ Omg Spencer and hot custome reader basically they are at halloween party and the lights go out and there is a usub is trying to play mind game with the guess and the team. Like exposing people such as the tragedies that has happened in their life ( can I request a really bad tragedy for the reader) also for people to confess their feelings .In this, spencer and the reader are married, so someone else confess their feelings for either spencer or the reader (doesn’t have to be someone on the team) Anyways, The team has to figure out who it is by the end of the night so before the unsub killed them, (you know how those scary movies are that the usub plays mind games that torture them?) Lol idk what I just said but is basically that, if you can and want. Thank you❜❜- LalyMendoza9 + ❛❛ Confessing things that the team doesn’t know, like lies, betrays, making the reader, spencer and people jealous. The confessions doesn’t even need to be true because is mind games manipulation❜❜- LalyMendoza9

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Wife!Reader

Featuring: Spencer Reid, Y/n (Reader), JJ, Emily, Tara, Garcia, David Rossi, Luke Alvez, other agents, f/n (friends name)

Summary: A Halloween party turns into a nightmare. Can the bau find out who the unsub is?

WARNINGS: violence, fluff, angst, mind games, suppose betrayal, hurt!reader, injured!reader, idk.

Word Count: 1967

A/N: I haven’t watched cm for a long time. I decided to make the unsub y/n’s friend.

Spencer clutched your hand tightly as soon as the power shut off. leaving the bau office in complete darkness.

Spencer pulled you closer to him. As some agents and their significant others panicked. Some screaming, others having panic attacks.

“It’s going to be okay.” Spencer reassured you. as you nodded your head. Taking out your phone and turning your torch on.

Looking for your friend. Everyone else in the room either took out their phones, turning them on or the torch app, or took out lighters.

“I’m glad I’ve got all of your attention. It’s time for a little game. Time to expose all of you for the corrupt agents you are.” A distorted voice spoke, through a speaker. Everyone let out a panicked gasp or scream. While you clung onto Spencer's arm. Getting worried about your friend.

The distorted voice spoke again. This time exposing some agents past. You didn’t listen to it. To busy focusing on finding your friend.

“I can’t see f/n anywhere.” You spoke. Looking at Spencer with a concerned expression.

“Maybe, he is in the bathroom.” Spencer responded. Giving you a reassuring smile. You smiled back at him. But your mind still wasn’t at ease.

“I think, I should go look for him. Make sure he is okay.” You spoke. Letting go of Spencer. Spencer panicked. Grabbing a hold of your wrist. Giving you a pleading look. Furrowing his eyebrows.

“Don’t go, it’s dangerous.” Spencer pleaded.

Just as you were about to respond. The distorted voice said your name. making the hairs on your body stand up. Your skin crawling. Your spin tingling.

“Y/n Reid, have you told your husband what happened to you in your past? Or have you pretended like it never happened, bottle it up. It’s not healthy you know. Or do you feel like you are being a burden if you do tell him? So, you sweep it under the rug, as JJ does with her feelings for Spencer. Don’t you JJ.” The distorted voice spoke. JJ looked shocked. Shuttering on her words. While you felt like a weight was pressing against you. shallowing rapidly, as your throat felt like it was closing in. tears pricking your eyes. JJ looked away from you. Avoiding your gaze. A feeling of jealousy sparking up inside of you.

Spencer cupped the side of your face. Giving you a pleading look.

“He is just trying to get inside your head. Don’t listen to him.” Spencer reassured you. But you looked away. What they said got to you. she didn’t even deny it either.

“I have to go find, f/n. You should figure out who the unsub is before he gets bored with minds games and manipulation and starts killing people.” You spoke. Avoiding his gaze and shaking him off of you.

You quickly walked away from him and out of the room. Searching for your friend.

“F/n.” You called out. But got no response.

You were about to call out for him again but stopped yourself when you heard the distorted voice coming from a room near you. you quickly went over it peeping inside to see your friend talking into a com. You let out a loud gasp. Eyes widening fear, as he raised his head. Cupping your hands over your mouth and ducking behind the door. Your back pressed against the wall. As he turned around. Walking to the door. You slowly slid away from the door.

The door opened. Making you suck in a breath.

“Y/n.” f/n spoke. Giving you a fake smile.

“Hey, f/n, there you are.” You greeted him mustering up a smile. F/n’s fake smile dropped into a snarl. You gulped as he stalked towards you. While you backed away. But it was no use he pinned you against the wall.

“You saw me, didn’t you?” He asked.

“Saw what?” You gulped out. Playing it cool. You sneakily reached your hand into your back pocket. But f/n saw this and grabbed your wrist roughly pulling it away.

“Don’t lie, y/n, it’s unattractive.” He hissed out.

“F/n, please.” You begged him. Looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Sh, soon you will understand.” He cooed. You felt something prick your side. Making you look down to your side. Letting out a panicked gasp, as you saw a needle in you. F/n pushed the plunger into the barrel. The liquid in the barrel going to you.

“No, please.” You gasped out. Trying to push him off of you but to no avail.

“Sh...” He cooed. As the drugs took effect on you. you slumped in his grasp.

F/n smiled. Discarding the needle. Then looking around to see if the coast is clear. He picked you up. Taking you into the bathroom he was in. gently laying you on the floor. He quickly put zip ties on your hands and ankles. Binding them together.

“You’ll see, y/n. they aren’t worth your time.” F/n hummed. Stroking your hair. Taking your phone off of you and breaking it….

The team stood around the table. Garcia sitting down on the chair, her laptop on the table. While Rossi was looking out at the window. Eyes narrowed.

Spencer tried to call you again, but it went straight to voicemail.

“She’s still not picking up?” JJ asked.

“No.” Spencer mumbled. A sinking feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

“Focus, Spencer, I’m sure she is okay.” Emily spoke.

“He obviously gets his kicks off of playing mind games and manipulating people.” Rossi spoke. Still not looking away from the window.

Emily opened her mouth to say something, but the distorted voice spoke again.

“Times running up. I’m going to start killing you one by one.” The distorted voice spoke. He was about to say more when a gasp stopped him. Gaining everyone’s attention in the room.

“He has someone already.” Emily spoke. Eyes widening.

F/n turned off the com. Well, he thought he did, but he really didn’t. Putting it down on the vanity. Turning around and walking over to you.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked him. Giving him a sad look. The team looked at each other in panic. While Spencer felt like the walls were caving in on him.

“Don’t you get it, y/n?” He snapped. Looking at you with fury in his eyes.

“No, I don’t.” You gasped out.

“I love you, and you still choose him. I was there for you when you had that incident, he wasn’t, you haven’t even told him, and yet you still married him. He has you blinded. He and his whole team are corrupt.” He yelled.

“Please, just stop this.” You begged. Tears finning up your eyes. Your eyes suddenly wandered to a blinking red light.

“Oh, no, these people need to learn… What are you looking at?” He spoke. Eyes wandering over to what you were looking at.

“Just your confession to go to jail.” You spoke. F/n saw a red-light blinking. Making him let out a growl.

He quickly grabbed a fistful of your hair. Yanking it up. Making you let out a whimper.

”I’m not going to jail, just so he can have you, if I can't have you then he cant.” He snarled out. Pulling out a gun and pressing the muzzle of the gun into your stomach.

“No.” You pleaded. But f/n didn’t listen to you, he pulled the trigger. You let out a blood-curdling scream. Feeling an intense amount of pain in your stomach. Spencer felt like he was going to collapse. He had to go save you.

JJ tried to comfort him, but he shook her off. Without a second thought, he rushed out of the room. Searching for you, pushing other agents aside. it wasn’t hard to find you, he could hear you crying out in pain. It broke his heart even more. F/n kept telling you to shut up.

Spencer rushed into the room making f/n lookup.

“Put the gun down.” Spencer commanded. But f/n glared at him. Shaking his head no. Pointing his gun at Spencer.

Spencer's eyes glanced towards you. His heartbreaking some more.

“Put down the gun, f/n I won't ask you again.” Spencer demanded.

“No.” F/n growled. Shaking his head from side to side. Spencer quickly tackled f/n to the ground. Both of them struggling for dominance.

Yanking the gun out of his hands and pointing it at his shoulder. Spencer pulled the trigger. Shooting f/n’s shoulder.

Spencer went over to you. picking you up bridal style and walking out of the door. Bumping into Emily, Tara, JJ, Luke and Rossi.

“He is in there. I am going to take y/n to the hospital.” Spencer spoke. Walking out of the building as best as he could.

Spencer gently put you in the passenger seat. Shutting the door. Then rushing over the driver's side. Hopping in. Putting the keys into the ignition and turning the car on. Putting the car into gear then pressing his foot on the accelerator, speeding off.

“It’s going to be okay.” He reassured you.

“I…I…Should…have…told…you. I’m sorry.” You gasped out. Eyes closing. Breathing getting swallower.

Spencer panicked. Stepping on the gas even harder.

“Stay with me. It is going to be okay.” He panicked.

“I love you.” You gasped out. Making Spencer feel like his throat was closing in on him.

Spencer felt relief as the hospital came into view. Driving into the entrance, parking in the entrance. Opening the door and rushing over to the passenger door. Opening it and taking you out. Rushing into the hospital. Leaving the car running.

“HELP! Someone, help me, my wife needs help. She’s been shot int the stomach.” Spencer pleaded.

A few nurses came over to him with a gurney. Taking you off of him and putting you on the gurney, then wheeling you off. Leaving Spencer standing there in shock. Hoping you wouldn’t die…

Spencer waited in the waiting room, for over eight hours. The rest of the team waiting with him. Trying to comfort him. Reassuring him that you are strong. That f/n is under arrest. His eyes were red and dry from crying.

“Family of Reid, Y/n Reid?” The doctor asked. Bringing Spencer out of his daydream. He stood up rushing over to the doctor.

“I’m her husband.” He spoke. The team standing up. The doctor smiled at him.

“She is stable, had a blood transfusion. You can go see her, just one at a time.” The doctor spoke. Making Spencer nod, as well as the team.

The doctor told Spencer your room number and the floor you were on. Spencer bolted off towards your room.

Breathing in deeply then out before going into the room. His hands shaking.

He opened the door. Walking in. seeing you laying there on the bed, with wires on you broke him. Spencer closed the door behind him softly. Then walked over to you. grabbing a chair and sitting down beside you. grabbing a hold of your hand. Which made your eyes flutter open.

“Hey.” Spencer cooed. Kissing your hand feverishly.

“Hi.” You whispered hoarsely.

“I am so glad you’re alive, I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you so much, and only you.” He softly spoke.

“I love you too.” You replied. Smiling at him.

“I’m sorry about f/n, I…” You apologized.

“It’s not your fault.” Spencer spoke. Giving you a reassuring smile. While you gave him a pained smile.

“I want to tell you about what happened in my past.” You spoke. Making Spencer smile.

He kissed your hand softly. Nodding his head.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He spoke softly.

“I need to.” You spoke. Spencer nodded his head.

Spencer listened intensely to what you were saying. Thumb caressing the back of your hand, as you talked…

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #criminal minds

218 notes · View notes

whumpasaurus101 · 4 years ago

Text

19th April, Plant Day!

I cannot tell you how tempted I was to write abt fungi but I didn’t want @brutal-nemesis to kill me :) so I can safely say that there is no fungi do not worry :D

Cw: plant whump / ‘stabbing’ sort of / deep cuts / caretaking after / fluff / angst / my gaey boys not having a good time tbh / Alicia being a bitch as usual /

Asher wasn’t happy. He was in Alicia’s house and Jack was right at her feet, kneeling. She raked her hands through his hair. Aaher looked at her in disgust from where he knelt, far away from them both. Why did Rodger have to leave him with this bitch? He would have prefered anyone, anyone over her. Jesus, he’d rather stick a fork in his own fucking eye than be here.

“Anyways,” Alicia sighed, “I want to go to the garden centre to revamp this house and whatnot and the two of you can come if you behave, Asher, I’m looking straight at you. Think of all the fun you could have if you don't throw a fucking tantrum, huh? I’ll even let you two go off for a bit if you're good. But keep in mind, I throw knives like a fucking champ so if one of you decides to try and run, you’ll get a knife in your fucking neck, understood?”

The garden centre was huge, Asher’s eyes lit up as he saw the building. And then there were people, normal people, not sick psychos! Couples, families, you name it! A sudden yank ripped Asher from his thoughts as Alicia pulled back on his top. He stumbled back and Alicia spoke in his ear, “Listen up big boy, you make one single sound to any other people and I will fucking kill you, got it?” Asher quickly nodded, scared to speak.

She forced a smile, “Good, now, let’s not waste any time!” The three walked into the centre, Asher standing in between the pair as he was least trusted. Alicia had her handbag rested against her forearm as she strode in.

There were plants everywhere. Some crawled up the wall, some hung from the ceiling and some were neatly potted and shelved. Asher, completely lost in his thoughts, didn't realise how fast he was walking until Alicia yanked him back, “What the fuck did I just tell you?!” Asher lowered his head, “Sorry.”

Both Jack and Asher followed Alicia obediently as she strolled around the store. Eventually, she had had enough. “Alright, alright! You're starting to piss me off! Just- just- ugh, just go -and stick together. But I swear that if either one of you tries something funny, I will slit both of your throats. Asher looked to Jack who smiled at him. He followed him to the outside area as they held hands in front of them so Alicia couldn't see.

Jack pulled Asher into a corner that was hidden by trees and kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around his waist. Asher chuckled, “Nothing funny, huh?” Jack smiled, “Fine, we can just stop you know, look at these… trees?” Asher chortled, snorting slightly at the end. He traced his hand against Jack’s cheek and jaw, rubbing it slightly, feeling the short stubble.

He brought Jack’s face closer and pecked him on the nose. Jack brought Asher’s hips closer, they kissed again as Jack raked his hands through Asher’s hazelnut hair. “What. the. Fuck?” They both pulled away with a jolt.

Alicia stood there, gobsmacked, “I-you.” She couldn’t form any other words than, “What the fuck.” Asher couldn’t breathe, “Pl-please don’t tell Rodger!! Please!!” That’s when Alicia smiled and chuckled, looking at Jack, “So you’re into Asher, huh? You like the ‘bad boys’?” Jack gulped, blinking fast, “Alicia, please! I-”

Alicia slapped him hard across the face, “I asked you a fucking question!” Jack whimpered. Asher looked in shock, finding himself frozen in shock. “Yes! Okay! I love him, I mean, what is there not to love about him? He’s perfect! He’s brave and he’s handsome. He’s there for me when I need him and he makes me happy every fucking day!”

Asher felt his cheeks flush a deep red. Alicia looked at him blankly, “How sweet. But you know this is simply just not allowed.” The two boys gulped. “Alicia plea-”

“Shut up!!” Asher flinched as she took a step towards him, caressing her sharp nails scraping against his cheek, “Now, now Asher, you know he’s way out of your league!” She cackled, “I mean, what’s the fucking age gap?” Asher clenched his jaw. Her thumb’s nail slightly pressing into his cheek as he let out a yelp.

“Alicia,” Jack raised his voice. Alicia turned to him, nails still digging into Asher’s skin. “Please, he didn’t-”

“You know what?” Alicia sneered, “I don’t think you understand. You are mine and Asher is Rodger’s. You are not permitted to even touch him.” Her grip tightened as blood now ran from Asher’s cut.

“I know, I know, Alicia, please, don’t do this, it was all my fault! I started this! He still doesn’t understand the rules!” Alicia sighed, yanking her hand away, making the cut bigger. “No, he doesn’t, but he will.”

Asher had no clue what she meant until an hour later when he was tied to a chair in Alicia’s kitchen. Alicia circled him, shopping bag in hand. “Have you ever heard of a honey locust?” Asher just glared at her in response, dried blood stuck to his cheek form earlier. “No?” She hummed, taking out what looked like branches of a tree. “Hmmm, well, I was going to give these to Rodger to use them on you, but I guess I can just get more and use these bad boys now!!”

Jack pulled at his cuffs which kept his hands right at the fridge’s handle, “Alicia I-“

“SHUT UP!!!!” Both boys flinched at how loud Alicia was. “Stop sticking up for your bitch all the time! You are mine and he is Rodger’s. And the bast way for you to understand things is to hurt people that you love.”

And with that, she got a thorn and quickly moved it down Asher’s collarbone, leaving a dark red line which blood fell from. Asher let out a howl of pain. His restraints left him unable to double over and protect himself.

Alicia snickered, “Oof, that’s a deep one. Oops?” She did the same thing on the exact another side. This continued until deep gashes covered his abdomen.

When she got bored, she picked up the thorns one by one, piling them into her hand. She dropped the branch and grinned at Jack. She approached a trembling Asher and traced one of the sharp thorns all across and down Asher’s arm, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin.

Without warning, she quickly stabbed a thorn straight into his arm. He yelled, he couldn’t take all of this pain. “P-please, no more! I- AGH!” He was interrupted when she poked another one right under the previous thorn. He felt his vision starting to blur.

Alicia, noticing he was starting to blackout, decided it was enough, for now. “Oh what now? No ‘smart comments’? You see, after a while, I do start to miss them. Its quite satisfying to be honest! You know, Rodger being unable to control his mutt while Jack just sits right at my side like a good bitch.”

Asher saw Jack flinch through his blurred vision. Jack had never heard Alicia call him that. It was always Rodger who did, never Alicia. Did she prefer Asher? No, no, she couldn’t! She loved Jack… right? He looked to the two, Alicia was running a hand through Asher’s hair with a smile as the other’s head lolled to the side as he slowly drifted out of it.

---

Jack was allowed to clean Asher’s wounds. He had a tweezers and was trying to pluck the thorns out from Asher’s delicate skin. Asher let out painful moans as he rocked back and forward. Jack blinked away his tears, “Ash- Asher please, I need you to stay still.” Asher did but once the tweezers were back on the last thorn, he flinched. Jack rolled his eyes, “ASHER! I NEED YOU TO FUCKING-” He froze the minute Asher’ tear-stained face and puffy eyes turned to him. He looked as if he was about to absolutely ball crying.

“Asher, oh my god, Asher, I am so sorry!” Asher blinked and the tears followed. They streamed down his cheeks as his chest rose and fell fast. He whimpered and bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing. “Asher, please I- I didn’t mean to! I’m so sorry!!”

Asher sniffed and blinked rapidly, “ ‘s alright, y-you didnt m-mean to.” Jack’s heart felt heavy but he had to keep cleaning the wounds before Alicia would come in and make some snarky comments. “This is going to sting- wait, I might have some pain killer I can give you, mkay?”

Asher nodded weakly. “Alright, give me a second.” He got up out of the empty bath they sat in and walked to the bathroom cabinet. He scanned through the shelves and his eyes landed on one of the orange containers.

He opened it up and poured two pills into his palm. He then got a glass and filled it with water, knowing the water from the bathroom probably wasn’t the best but it was better to get rid of all of the pain Asher was in already.

He handed Asher the pills and glass. Asher looked at him, waiting for a nod of approval before putting the pills in his mouth and washing them down with the water. “Th-thank you” His voice was hoarse. Jack wiped tears of his own and sat back behind Asher.

Asher’s flinches were less violent. Jack smiled, knowing that his love was in less pain. No- no, not his. Rodger’s. The heaviness settled in his heart once more. Surely there was some way of keeping Asher. Keeping? What the hell was wrong with him?! Maybe he didn’t deserve Asher. Maybe it was for the best.

He looked down as he felt Asher’s back press against him. He was asleep. His adorable face looked so peaceful. His eyes were closed and he wasn’t in pain. His angry face was relaxed and the usual crease in his eyebrows was gone.

Jack gently traced his cheek with his finger. His scar had been reopened and looked painful. After a few moments of peace, Alicia burst through the door, “Jesus fucking Christ, you cant keep your hands off him, can you? After what he went through because of you!” Jack’s head snapped up to her, “Alicia, please, let him sleep, he never sleeps! Please, I’ll do anything!” Alicia fake smiled at him for a moment before shoving her arms under Asher’s arms and dragging him out of the bathtub. Asher let out a yell of shock as he was brought out of his sweet peaceful dreams back to this phscho bitch.

“Alicia, leave him, alone, please!” Alicia just giggled in excitement, “No way, this is a fun thing to play with. You two think you're so in love. But none of you knows what love is!” Asher hung his head in shame and embarrassment. Jack noticed, he knew that Asher had absolutely no memories of his childhood, he didn't know what love was. Jack felt terrible.

Alicia looked between the pair with a shit-eating grin, “Well, you guys must be tired! Asher, you can sleep on the floor in the kitchen. Jack, you're sleeping in with me!” Jack knew better than to refuse. Asher was dragged out of the room and Jack was left sitting in the bathtub, waiting for Alicia to come and show him who he really belonged to.

—-

Taglist:

@as-a-matter-of-whump @yesthisiswhump @appy-polly-loggies @jordanstrophe @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @likeit-or-whumpit @milk-carton-offical

#whump #whump story #plant whump #plant day #I’m sorry for this #heh #the Gaey boys #are not having a good time I’ll be honest #Asher #jack #Alicia #plants #no fungi #:)#not this time #asher #whump drabble #drabble

44 notes · View notes

icecreamkink · 4 years ago

Text

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

52 notes · View notes

curious-menace · 4 years ago

Note

Have I really ever requested one thing of you (the pegging telltale Riddler h/c)? Time to change that; let's see how the Eddies would respond to being told by their partner that they're a "bad boy" and "need to be punishment" (sexually, of course) - Pegging Anon.

I really enjoy these kinds of asks. honestly just give me a blank check for mayhem, unleash me upon the riddlers like a plague of locusts

nsfw below the cut

Arkham! Riddler

please be careful with this riddler. He has problems reading peoples tone and if he thinks youre angry at him you're liable to send him into a panic.

he really doesn't like dirty talk. dont call him a slut or a whore or anything like that. Not only is it demeaning and humiliating( 2 things this riddler doesnt deal well with) its just a terrible way to get him to do what you want.

again, the idea of punishment in a sexy setting is a turn off for him. He’s afraid of being strangled or choked and he doesn't find being hit sexy.

to put it simply, this riddler reacts better to the carrot than the stick. if you want a good reaction out of him, praise and affection work better. call him a good boy, give him pets and rewards.

IF you were to coax him into it, safeword, soft restraints and reassuring from you that everything will be ok, he’ll still probably cry. he might enjoy himself but the emotional stress will still leave him in an utter state.

i know some people use BDSM to cope with trauma but maybe dont try this on him. pitch the idea and let him mull it over. dont bring it up more than once or twice and let him decide

he always needs a lot of aftercare. he needs to be constantly reassured, not just after sex, that you love him , that he’s done well. lots of kisses and soft words and let him rest from the heavy stuff for a little while.

Blacklight riddler

another riddler you need to tread carefully with. he’s a kinky shit but like...a soft kinky shit who bruises easily.

He wont need coaxing. its either a hell yes or a hell no and you shouldn't push that. He likes sex games but he’s got trauma, sometimes something that was fine yesterday is triggering today so please be gentle and respectful with him.

He doesnt mind being called a bad boy, just not too often. mix it up and don't patronise him all the time . you can tell him off without treating him like a kid.

he likes edging and orgasm denial as a punishment. just dont ruin his orgasm or he wont let you do it again.

please don't ever hit him during sex. a playful thump on the arm when he’s telling a bad joke is one thing but if you touch him roughly during the act, even if he knows its coming, he finds it triggering.

He’s pretty exclusively a sub but don't think that means he’s into punishment all the time. mostly he just likes his dominant to take care of him.

BTAS Riddler

i feel like it would throw him for a loop. he’d be confused as all hell, even if you said it in a sexy voice he might not get the message.

he’d probably scoff at the idea. the notion that he’s anything other than perfect is laughable. he’s certainly not some sort of bad boy. you should sit on his lap and get him on the same page as you. watch his mouth go dry and his eyes go wide as you explain all the things you're going to do to him for being bad. he’ll do his best to stay composed but we both know its you who’d be wearing the pants by the end of the conversation.

he’d want to be tied up. he’ll be gibbering and rambling the entire time, desperately trying to stay in control of the situation. He’ll try to do things for you but a gentle reminder that you’re in control and if he doesn't anything he’ll be punished more will have him biting his tongue.

I think humiliation works best on this one. im imagining something with rope or his suits since he’s so fond of them. maybe try and make him cum while still clothed? maybe some shibari under his suit jacket? i’ll let you decide.

he doesnt have a safeword bc he thinks its strictly a bdsm thing and refuses to admit he’s into that. he prefers to use the traffic light system. although you probably had to teach him that. before hand he was using some nonsense riddler made system involving humming different songs. ode to joy for fun/keep going and vivaldi winter for slow down. you will have to gently explain what a batshit insane idea that was.

Original Riddler

I imagine he’d be into it, moreso initially than the others. He doesnt have so much emotional baggage and he’s game to try anything once.

I dont know if he’d find the idea of punishment sexy but he’ll try it for you. he’d probably just prefer you to frame it as impact play or degradation or whatever “just because” you wanna try it. something about it being a meant as a punishment just seems weird to him

he does like being called names but in a cute playful way. he’s not liable to take offence at anything you say, inside or outside the bedroom but digs at his appearance do sting a little. even if youre “in character” so to speak when you say them. just reassure him after that you dont really think those things.

He’s one of the tallest riddlers and also has zero shame so you’ll need to be inventive when thinking of punishments. tying him up could actually hurt him with his circulation, he runs around in glittery spandex all day anyway so good luck trying to humiliate him.

Because he is so tall and strong, its hard to hurt him. you could try spanking him, ask him to count out the spanks and listen as his voice gets higher and more unsteady with each one.

actually in that note and given his penchant for dress up maybe you could try sub/dom roleplay? pretend you're a doctor/nurse or something and you're punishing him for his bad diet? if the punishment thing doesn't work out at least you’ll both get a giggle out of it.

Telltale Riddler

Oh he is absolutely going to fight you on this one “i think YOU'RE the one who needs punishing , love.” . if you want to punish him you’ll have to fight for that right

he’s never really subbed before he met you. He’s happy to show you how to punish a sub but he really needs practice letting someone else hold the reins.

he pretends he doesn't like dirty talk. if you get him riled up and start whispering filthy things in his ear he’s going to melt a little.

I cant think of a specific he’d like or something he’d find egregiously offensive, so i think you've got a blank cheque for mayhem here. do what you like and he’ll tell you then and there if he’s into it or not.

but no blinders or restraints though. he’s claustrophobic after being in that icebox. He IS an escapartist mind you. even if you put him in something he’ll have wiggled out of it before you can blink . he MIGHT tolerate something just there for aesthetics or because the fabric feels nice, like maybe his tie or your hair bow tied loosely around his arms.

in the same vein, he’s sensitive so maybe you could lightly torture him with some sensory stuff. ice cubes or wax play?

Zero year Riddler

i Cannot stress to you enough what a horny fuck this one is. at the mere MENTION of sexy punishment he’s like “oh yes punish me ive been bad “ wiggling his ass in the air like a target. will call you Daddy regardless of your gender because we all know he has issues.

He’s 100 percent going to lean into it, goad you and taunt you to punish him more, get angrier or hit him harder. he gets off on the pain, yes but he also just really enjoys being an insufferable shit.

“EDWARD THIS IS PUNISHMENT YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT” - you, probably.

i dont think the traditional sexy punishment things will work on this one. youre going to have to get creative. like tell him you are in charge of his wardrobe and death traps for the week.

something that MIGHT work would be forcing him to wear a toy or even just some lingerie under his suit. He’s going to be embarrassed as all hell because this riddler is a big buff cheeto puff who takes his appearance seriously. BUT he cant deny the thrill of maybe the lace poking out over his waist band when he bends or the outline of a bralette being seen under his shirt, isnt a little arousing.

please dont be surprised when he turns around a week later and pulls this exact same shit on you.

there you go nonnie ! this one was quite a lot of fun! i have a rule of trying not to write more than 6 points for each but it was hard to compress down this time around. so much variety in personality and temperament in the one character there's a lot to write about

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

44 notes · View notes

papers4me · 5 years ago

Text

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep22

I was pleasantly surprised that this was one of the best balanced eps concerning tohru as of yet!! They touched upon her being mom-figure in the first half but proceeded to humanize her afterward, depicting her as normal girl!, frustrated, vulnerable & somewhat silently struggling. I was right in my prediction that the moment yuki lets go of mom-tohru image, the show will too!! I’m happy!! finally, No more angels in the sky. But only real tohru with flaws, ugliness & humanity.

-Yuki’s acceptance of past feelings & change towards new ones:

The show is aware that they’ve been using the fake love-triangle initially but it actually has an explanation within the story. Yuki is attracted to tohru, so much, but it isn’t romantic at all. his attempts in “correcting” how he perceived her didn’t set right with him & he felt weirded out more! The show brilliantly depicted these “flirty scenes” with a hint of uneasiness. Yuki’s lines/ moves felt cringey & artificial “do you like my act, princess”,”I’ll kidnap you”, being encouraged by Aya to compliment tohru as a boy should. The signs are all there except not in your face, & the writer deserves praise!! Yuki, being perceptive, was able to reach such conclusion, not only by looking into himself, but by also at looking how kyo interacted with her, differently from him. Kyo sees tohru as a woman & is attracted to her romantically & altho kyo’s words & interactions with tohru lacks princely smoothness & have a hint of awkwardness, it was natural, genuine & spontaneous. Kyo didn’t put on an act or forced himself to flirt or deliberately chose words to impress tohru. Yuki was able to notice tohru only looked romantically towards kyo. Yuki used all his observations to reach another conclusion abt himself too!!! What he wants in a relationship is sth similar to kyo/tohru!! Mutual & equal relationship. He won’t be satisfied by one-sidedly giving or taking.

-The Author’s brilliance in writing traumatic-based behavior ( Kyo/yuki’s best interaction!! ) :

-an anon cryptically warned me that I’ll be disappointed in kyo this ep cuz of a certain scene with yuki. After watching it, I can tell you without a doubt I’m not disappointed at all!! Rather I’m beyond satisfied that I’ve decided to trust the author. Ms. Takya is genius in depicting traumatic-based behavior! Any other writer, would write the scene less raw, yuki would still shine defeating his inner demos, but kyo would only grunt, or say sth mild. cuz the writer might fear that it might risk showing kyo as the stupid guy behind in his growth compared to the successful yuki ,or annoy the readers/viewers who are so eager for these boys to reach mutual ground. Only a great writer will be brave enough to write kyo as his trauma/ faulty copying mechanism logically dictates!

-We spent an entire season with yuki, saw him yell at kakeru’s insensitive hurtful remarks, cry knowing he was saved cuz a friend risked freeing him, it took a locked dark room, paint fumes, PTSD, tons of monologues before yuki finally let it all out! & you want such brilliant writer to make kyo turn around & be nice to yuki all of a sudden after episodes of fights & no perspective insight? You bet such amazing writer will give kyo’s perspective its time & his development the logical progress he needs. This writer is all abt logical & realistic progression! whether positive or even negative, the characters will come across human, raw, realistic & real during & after their journey.

- Going through kyo/yuki’s dialogue, it will tell you that furuba is NOT abt friendship saving the day, or abt successful growth. It is abt the journey these traumatized children are undergoing now that they are nearly becoming young adults. Yuki’s journey was amazing not cuz he succeeded (as amazingly as this is) but cuz it made sense from his perspective, was realistic, logical, matched his coping mechanism & character traits & it took the needed time. Now for kyo, all his reactions should match his perspective, & make sense giving his coping mechanism. He wasn’t given time yet. so, he won’t grow much yet. “Making a fool of me?” kyo didn’t see yuki’s perspective abt the hat. he thinks yuki did it on purpose to taunt him.That HE saved tohru while kyo fails as always. “Praised by others, needed by them” Kyo like everybody in school, always thought yuki is a prince, loved, & admired. Kyo is not the audience, he didn’t see yuki’s struggle.”surpass me easily while I struggle” kyo may train for years with tears & blood, but the rat will beat him always cuz he is superiors. “an idiot that never gets anything, wants an idiotic impossible thing” “if only I gave birth to the rat, I’d ve been happier” kyo’s mom wished or the impossible. So did kyo. He wished that he’d prove to her that he can be the rat’s equal. She shouldn't have died becuz of him. An impossible wish.

-I personally think that kyo’s journey will take a different path from yuki’s. Unlike yuki, kyo’s been accused & proved to harm others somehow, intentionally or unintentionally. Some not even in this world anymore. So there are things in kyo’s journey that can’t be fixed. Nothing will bring his mom or kyoko back to life. He can’t apologize to them. There is NO forgiveness here as kyoko said!. Hence, the writer will brilliantly make kyo fall so hard & reach rock bottom so bad before he stands up again!! It matches his personality too!! He’s a person who struggles in expressing himself verbally, gets overwhelmed with emotions, stubborn, hard on himself & fiery in nature. Moreover, due to his trauma, he harbors very low self-esteem & due to his guilt, he is drenched in self-loath.

-The addiction of destructive coping mechanism ( Writing Brilliancy):

Kyo has one of the most destructive coping mechanism in the show. Similarly to what his father did by illogically dumping all the blame of the mom’s suicide on 4 year old child, which resulted in hurting kyo, kyo adopted his dad’s ways & dumped it all on yuki. Illogical. wrong. but it works!! it numbs this tingling sense of guilt, it puts the voice that goes “ you’re unforgivable” temporarily to sleep. All the hate is on someone else. not me. I’m not a monster. does it work all the time? NO. cuz NO drug does! All drugs has this temporary effect, that unless you break away from, will end up destroying you. “don’t you want it that way? you wouldn’t want to have anyone to hate?“ I’m still confused if this is kyoko or his mom. It has kyoko’s hair, the words are very harsh. Kyoko from kyo’s perspective shifts between extremely kind & cruelly harsh! but regardless, the truth has been spoken. Kyo’s eyes are opened. He can’t force blind himself anymore. he does NOT hate yuki. he “ acts like hating yuki is sth you needs to do”, as shigure said! hating yuki is his way to escape from his destructive self-loath. He hasn’t been hating or fighting yuki for a long while, he tries now, one more fight, one more dose of the drug, let the pain go away! Nope. Yuki is not participating, yuki is in the light now. You are drenched in the darkness, as unforgivable as you are. Monster eyes & all. Kyo breaks the window to break away from the memory. from this point on, it escalates to rock bottom as the drug is no longer working & hating himself with no escape is all he’s left with.

-Protecting leading to hurting:

yuki brings kyo attention that while he’s been hard on himself & resisting change, he is hurting tohru. Sth kyo chose confinement in oder to NOT do. Kyo being distant from class activities “life” is his choice. Tohru suffering is a consequence to that choice. Kyo, once again, overwhelmed by tohru’s desire to include him in their activities “ life”. Helplessly & painfully looking at her & acknowledging yuki’s words. Kyo in one of his most vulnerable moments, matched only by true form hug scene, is desperate for a hug. Not only cuz he loves her, but cuz he needs her, cuz he’s so tried of himself, cuz she’s so endearingly stupid waiting for him all by herself when she could’ve easily caught him home!! Ugh! tohru! T_T. Except this time, kyo is aware of his surroundings, it’s school, no place for transformation. As kyo decides to change his position from hug to head rest, he stares so intently in her eyes. Embracing her with his presence. For a moment there I felt weird. Like I was intruding on a personal moment between two ppl. XD. This moment was this excellently weird mix of tenderly romantic, bittersweet cuz they cant be together hug, & sexually tensed! one of the most successful kyoru moment that truly depicted emotions visually without needing much dialogue!

Side Notes:

kyo/yuki interaction was their most honest, filter-free & raw moment! each said what he really felt. yuki’s directly telling kyo to complain to him, which kyo did. yuki urging kyo to see that punishing himself hurts tohru.

I appreciate that Yuki won’t tell tohru now, cuz it will ruin their progress towards a better balanced relationship. Tohru’s lid hasn’t even been touched, so she would be cautious interacting with him. But once she opens her lid, her self-worth increase & her desire to focus on herself more is ignited!, she’ll listen to him without taking his burden as hers. just like kakeru did. Equal friends.

I wanted to talk deeper abt machi & yuki, but didn’t want it to be overshadowed by kyo’s analysis. Next time for sure!

I love how the writer included the most spontaneous flirting moment between kyo & tohru right after yuki explained that he saw her non-romantically. The writer wants the comparison to be clear cutting ties to any love-triangle misunderstanding that might linger from previous scenes. Moreover, it showed yuki fully & genuinely accepting kyoru!!

I’ll never be over tohru acting like normal teenager & chasing kyo, trying to catch the script!!!! These small moments while having not much effect on the grand plot, help depict tohru with her own feisty style of stubbornness beyond the one-sided kind image we always see.

This ep has well-written & visually appealing scenes. Visual imagery were well-implemented in kyo/yuki scene & kyo/tohru last scene.

Thank you anime for drawing tohru older, pretty & more mature in the final scene. She looked like a woman in love & silently in pain. My baby is growing!

Why is kyoko holding the hat in KYO’s flashback!!!! she’s wearing the same white dress from yuki’s memory?? What the heck is the hat’s story?!!!

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #satisfied paper

41 notes · View notes

generouscoffeelove · 4 years ago

Text

THE UNASSEMBLED WORDS

Things not always go your way they never even stay the same but you can make your mind to go with the flow u can make yourself to work within the things but sometimes it's hard to face the reality sometimes you are not ready to accept the situation, we all are never mature enough that we cant cry crying makes your mind healthy but overthinking only leads to depression and stress. People will say whatever will come in their mind but it's not always necessary to carefully listen to their opinions.

When you are determined to achieve something and deep down you know that the path you chose is right for you then no one can divert our mind from those guts. People will depress you, they will tell you that u r wrong and their opinions are right bcz they can't see a person becoming more successful than they themselves. Nowadays no one is more sincere to you than your parents, not even your relatives.

Sometimes I think about the day when I will achieve my dreams but then what if I have no more plans to move on ? what if i get the person i love but what after that ? as i will be near to it i will forget the hurdles and all the things i lost on the path towards my goal. Man is greedy, his requirements can never be completed bcz he wants more & more. If u want to get to ur dreams u have to listen to yourself only u dont care about the people and even if u hurt them u have no problem but then comes the deceiving part where u think that following your dreams might separate your family from u this fear of losing someone really special in ur life makes ur way turn back. I think it's the law of life u cant live happily if the people around u r sad. A person like me sometimes thinks that leave everything and go get whatever u want but in the end u have to come back. U will never forget where u belong and thats how u feel the existence of love.

The first love relations with you are of the same blood. But how can u fall for someone so badly ? How can you love someone out there in this world more than those people who raised you ? This love can be of two types. The love relation with Allah and secondly the other with one of his people. How weird it is to think that we pray to get someone else in our lives instead of praying to get Allah’s affection. To be honest, pray for it and you will get the things you love automatically even if you love someone so badly. First put this in your mind that excess of everything is bad. It's only Allah who will give u everything and will never upset u but the people around u can love u the most but can also give u the pain that u cant bear.

Everything happens for good. Maybe someone in your past who deceived you was there by Allah’s choice to make you strong and to make you prepared that nobody is there with you forever. People will always stay in search to get ur weak points but staying close to Allah will hide all of those mistakes on ur side which u made unexpectedly or even if u knew u should pray to be forgave and he will forgive u try to pray from the core of your heart. Nothing is more peaceful than crying in sujood bcz that is the moment when u feel hopeless and u dont have words to describe the society around u that how u feel. I faced a lot of times when i was compared and i was insulted but all i used to do was to stay silent and secretly in the heart say “ Ya Allah u should answer them”. Sometimes its good to stay quiet bcz the silence makes the people go crazy. The silence is breaked automatically by Allah. He himself shows the people that u were wrong.

Not always u have to stay silent but when u r being doubted for a wrong reason or the person saying is crossing the limits listen 3 times but the 4th time smack his face. Bcz they deserve it. From my perspective rules should be for everyone, and the strictness u faced should also be embossed on the coming kids. It's not right to scold or insult someone in the middle where everyone is sitting bcz it makes you stressed and this is the fact where suicidal thoughts start to enclave even a young mind. I dont why im even writing this but the point is that i really don't want anyone to interfere in our lives and not even to scold us bcz they dont live with us they don't face the things we are facing right now, they cant live a week with us but after all they are right and they will never like to meet a person with empty pockets. To every individual on this planet earth, money is everything and money can buy happiness even. People will embrace you till the day u have money but the day u fall a little they will not even ask that are u ok or do u need any help.

Life will change so will the people but the real face of people can only be seen when you stand in a tough time and they turn their backs away from you. We lived a great past life, we went to restaurants, we ate mcdonalds and shopped etc. so what everybody does when they have money. People should really look into themselves and then say a word to other people. At the end i would like to share a small verse with huge meaning from Quran that:

In surah alam nashra

“Beshak har mushkil ke baad asani hai”

“Indeed after every hard time there’s good time”

People will stay with you till you are useful to them. the day u fall in need of help, some will help u only those who were sincere to u maybe it can be those people whom u never even noticed or they were not even in priority but they stand with u, they come into your life as angels. Because you wanted them and they were to be in your life by the grace of Allah.

As you grow up u learn through experiences u learn to stand after crawling but not at once u fall u cry and then u get up, u stand at ur own. As a kid, u are learning actually u are learning throughout your life; from people and mistakes. U are not living until u fail.

U learn to live through love and failures. Love is the road which can give u the best memories to laugh and cry on, but the bumps can give u those bruises and wounds which will heal but the pain will last forever. The time is cruel after u lose someone u love, and even more when the loved one becomes part of your routine. U cannot live without food as well as love. It's easy to console the broken person but it's not possible to feel the pain as that person is feeling. During this time the emotions are at level best of depression and stress if u cant be nice to them then better stay away bcz they can even harm themselves.

Love is very important in life. If u love someone but can’t tell bcz of some fear.

The fear can be of being rejected or it can be the matter of pride. The matter of our reputation is very sensitive, especially for a girl. A small mistake can break the entire reputation which was made from long and hard work. But people will only bring up the flaws bcz they need a topic to talk on. More importantly,the thing that matters is peace with the reputation u hold, if u have reputation and money but u still feel alone u are not fine.

The hardest part in life is to live without the person whom you cry for days and nights but you can't tell bcz u are afraid of losing the reputation u hold. It's not wrong but it's killing u deep inside. U keep smiling but its only breaking you. It's funny cuz u are ruining yourself. Less to be worried bcz u are being destroyed by love. The part that hits hard and it's all about fate. Being compared to a less experienced person is bad bcz u know that the person hasn't faced any of the circumstances as u did.

“A dream is a wish that your heart makes”

For loving someone you don't have to be perfect. U dont have to change yourself bcz u know that person will accept u no matter what. This is the belief that love brings into our soul. Love happens; it never asks you who I should be with. It's the beauty and the magic of eyes which makes u staring. A fact says that if a person misses you they appear in your dream and if you think about someone alot it means that person was thinking about you first. I believe a lot in these facts bcz they happen a lot. The real fun and peace in love is by burning in the fire of awareness. U keep waiting for the other person to make a move but what to do if the other person is waiting for u.

Okay, I know I'm talking rubbish right now. It's currently 3:14 a.m. and I'm unable to sleep. I'm not in the mood to write in my diary so it's better to keep on writing to keep yourself busy. Life is not in the mood to study all i want to do is to explode up and cry i know why but tears seem to be dried and i no longer have emotions my mind just wants to fall into midnight in a deep conversation with myself or with a trustworthy my heart seems to beat for some reasons that keep giving me the same tensions which i want to remove. It feels like my soul is whirling like a storm. I don't know what to do to scream or to cry or to stay awake or sleep. Sometimes i just want to stay up and think about my future and the choices I'm making but i don't have leisure time.

Hard times will not stay with you forever but at every point of ur life they will make u realize that don't forget where u belong and what u survived in ur past. U can never forget your past bcz ur weakness makes u strong. It's better not to expect alot from people. They can bring u disappointment only or a bit of what u were expecting. U cant eat when ur hands are tied u have to make a move to eat and feed your hunger nobody else is going to do this for you.

Be independent. It's an easy sentence with two words to say but it requires all of your life to be courageous enough to face the coming hurdles. U are going to face many challenges .

“if ur life got harder congratulations !! u just leveled up”.

Smile even if there are 1000 reasons not too but this time during these days it seems to me as if I'm the shining star alone in the sky where clouds are trying to dull my spark but i keep shining the clouds hide me but then i come back. The mechanism of nature also teaches you many lessons of life. If you think deeply, the sun teaches you that after every dusk there is dawn. The sky can't show the glitter of stars without night. The moon tells you it's good to go through phases. The black clouds teach u that when u are loaded after going through many stages its ok to let everything pour out through tears. The average rain can bring happiness to the beings on earth they will feel calm but if it rains more than normal it destroys the belongings of human.Similarly, if we cry normally it freshens our mind but the excess of it leads to depression and damage of internal conditions and peace.

“Excess of everything is bad”

I don't know when girls felt peaceful in their lives, enjoyed and cherished the most beautiful moments of their lives. All the time they have to worry about something even if it's health,dressing,family,friends or some sort of harassment. She cant feel free to live. Talking to a male about life and studies is a crime and is considered something related to flirting and to be feel ashamed on. Something for which the parents can't speak on if they want to. The people thinking in this way for someone's daughter should think that in future they will also have daughters and what if this will happen to them. If today you consider someone else your daughter or sister honestly u have a peaceful and beautiful future.

But if u see girls as some material to be used and thrown u were born to be wrong then even if u say urself muslim or human look at ur habits and inner person it is more worse than animal. You have to change yourself first to change the people around you.

#blogs posts depression stress anxiety health mentalhealth blacklivesmatter umatter 13reasonswhy faultinourstars teenblogs

15 notes · View notes

sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 5 years ago

Text

Had To Get Creative

Summary- 1.6k Bucky x Y/N. with appearances of Steve, Sam, Nat, and Clint. Its Natashas birthday and you lost the balloons. Time to improvise much to Buckys dismay. No warnings, Fluff. Hints of smut kinda mentioned. Written for @kitkatd7 250 Writing Challenge, Congrats babes on your milestone! Prompt is in bold italiacs. Thank you @nsfwsebbie for basically supplying the idea for this.

“NO! NONONONO!” You cry out as all the fucking balloons shot out of your car and you leapt to catch the string tying them all together, but a breeze just happened to flutter it out of your grasp, and there they go. Bright beautiful colors of purples, greens, blues, reds... gone. All gone. Up to the heavens. Or over to the next freaking state.

In your arms your trying to juggle a cake and a bag or decorations for the compound. It was Nats birthday, and you taken it upon yourself to decorate the common room for a surprise party. And now you had no god damn balloons. Just about defeated with it, since there was no time to order more, get them blown up, drive all the way back into town before the party was due to start. Going up to the main doors, Friday scanned you and allowed you entrance, making your way to the elevator and upper floors, pondering your dilemma.

Once the elevators bell chimed and you stepped off, a somewhat ridiculous thought began to tickle in your mind. Bucky joking last night showed you a youtube video of people blowing up condoms to see how big they could get. At the time, it was good for a laugh, you teasing that he still needed the xl. Needless to say, it boosted Buckys ego and benefited you.

BUT there was still a mostly full box in the nightstand, and although not decorative, you could still blow them up, put them around the common room. In fact, you had your paint kit still set up in the living room. Sliding the cake into the common rooms fridge and ditching the bag on the counter, you rushed up the the avengers apartments, and let yourself into Buckys. You only had a couple hours to pull this off, but if you could... it was going to be awesome.

Bucky finished training with Steve and Sam, all three of them heading to there respective floor to shower and change. Sam dug out his phone and took a look at the time. “Y/N will have our ass if were not in the common room soon to help her set up for Nat.”

Steve leaned over to glance at the time over Sams shoulder himself and nodded. “I will stop over to help you guys bring stuff down in about half an hour Buck. I know shes been planning hard for this.”

About a week ago you told the guys you were recruiting all of them. Bucky, Steve and Sam were gonna help you set up, Clint had the mission of keeping Nat occupied,Tony well he occupied the space, everyone else just had to show up by 6 pm. “Yea, shes been pretty excited about getting this ready for Natasha. She will have all our asses if we dont show up.”

Sam sniggered a bit as the door opens “Yea Barnes your ass be sleeping on the couch a good month or two.” Bucky flipped him off as he walked into his own apartment and shut the door.

“Y/N? Im just gonna jump in the show-” He walked into the living room to see you surrounded by clear oddly shaped balloons, that you were oh so delicately painting. You heavily concentrating, the tip of your tongue peeking out and your head is bent over the balloon, Bucky picks up a dry one and flips it around to see youve painted flowers and Natshas symbol all over them. “How come your painting the balloons? And why are they all... weird looking.” Buckys studing them closer, flipping to the opposite end of where its tied off to see it had what looked like a little nipple on it.

“Dont you dare pop them Barnes, or your ass is grass” You mutter without looking up, setting the one you just finished aside and grabbing another. Thats when Bucky sees the box next to you with all the empty wrappers. “The ones I bought, they escaped out the car door and blew away. This is an emergency.”

ALL OF THEM.

Thats when he took a closer look at the “balloons” and he groaned, covering his face with his hand.

“Are those the box of condoms I just bought for us?”

Your dabbing your paintbrush in the black paint for a black widow spider. “do you wanna know the truth Buck, or do you want me to lie and say no?”

“Was it the entire box?”

You balk and had the good sense to look a bit sorry, glancing around the room at the scattering of condoms all blown up out of shape and painted bright lovely colors. “Errrrr, I really thought you might have another one, stashed somewhere for emergencies?”

“Why would I? Never mind.” He waved his hand and grumbled under his breath. “I thought you loved me.” he teased.

Hopping up and wading through the condoms, you grasp Bucky Barnes face and give him the hottest kiss you could, making him grasp your hips in surprise and his brows arch, pulling you in closer. Your paint covered hands smeared colors around his neck as you wrapped your arms there. “Course I do handsome, and thank you for your contribution to tonight's activities. I bet I can find us a few to make up for using your brand new box.” You smirk at him and wiggle brows.

“Oh, to the street corner store?”

You snort and roll your eyes. “Hell no, Im thinking in building. Over sized Pigeon must have some at his place. You occupy Sam, and I will put my secret stealth skills to work. Now you... shower.”

Pushing him to go, hes laughing the whole time hes headed into the bathroom, you start to clean up your brushes and once he returns, Steve is knocking on the door, and helps himself in when you call out for him to just let himself in. “Hey Rogers, I need you guys to bring these down and tie them around the room.” Your back in your on the floor cross legged position, tying ribbon on the ends so they would be hung around the room. “And scatter some on the counters, table, etc.” You direct the two of them, Sam then arriving in the room.

“Did you not order some?” Steve asked as he bent down, collecting the strings to bring them to the common room.

“I uhh, wanted to paint them and thought these would just look better. Listen Rogers, I pay you just to look pretty, okay. Dont question my crazy, okay buddy.”

Bucky is snorting in laughter as he grabs a fistful, and you tie up the last couple and hand them off to Sam. Steve is sighing at you. “Just a question Y/N, damn woman... I wont question your ‘crazy’ anymore.”

“Good, ask Buck, it never pays off anyways. I will be down in a few minutes. I just gotta clean up a bit.” Without another word, they left, and you, well you had to get dressed and see how well Sam locked up his apartment.

The party, Natasha was surprised to say the least, which you took great pride in being able to fool the spy. Everyone had a great time, with way to much food and alcohol to be able to move once you crashed into Buckys lap on the couch, your fingers carding through his now shorter hair and nuzzling his ear. “Did you have fun?” You ask him, and his hand rests just under under the hem of your dress, his thumb sweeping back and forth gently.

“I did baby, better yet I think Natasha did to” Directing his gaze where Nat was half laying upside down on the couch, bouncing one of the balloons and giggling, from way to much vodka. Clint was next to her, bouncing his own condom balloon when it suddenly popped and shot across the room from the elasticity to fall at Steves feet.

He picked it up, and thats when realization hit him what the balloons were made out of, his eye brows shooting up in surprise, Sam came up beside him and plucked it out of his hand, bursting out laughing.

“I cant believe it, they are god damn condoms, I knew it! They werent no regular balloons.” Hes waving the phallic shaped rubber like its a prize, and you bite your lip to keep quiet, your face going a bit red. Bucky is shaking underneath you though with actual laughter, and Nat, well she flips herself right side up and pops another one, stretching it out once its deflated and snorts. “well hell if you can use them now. They lost all there stretchy stretch stretch.” she giggles at herself.

“well no, they wouldnt be safe to use after I blew them up and out of shape.” You shrug, while Clint now takes the other end that Nat was messing with and stretches them further to see just how far it would go before shooting it across the room into the vodka punch.

“Guess Barnes aint getting lucky tonight” Sam remarks when he crashes down on the other side of the couch, and heres where your grinning to yourself.

“Well actually Wilson...” you move to a stand and take Buckys hand to have him stand up to, you dig in your dress pockets (cause your cool like that) and pull out what looks to be a brand new box, waving it. “You were able to fix that problem for us to.”

“What the hell, did you break into my apartment for those?!” Sam barks out with a touch of disbelief, and now its Steves turn to laugh so hard hes crying.

“Thanks for that man!” Barnes salutes Sam and you grab his hand, tugging him along with you back to the elevator. Sam still a bit slack jaw in surprise, Steve holding his side laughing and Natasha is giving you the thumbs up while the door is closing.

“At least someone is getting lucky on my birthday. Alright Clint, lets line up those shots again. Birthday toast to getting lucky!”

@jtargaryen18 @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish @stardancerluv @that-damn-girl @stuckonjbbarnes @imanuglywombat

#kits250challenge #bucky barnes #poor poor bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #mcu #mcufam #avengers #fluffy #birthday fun #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #steve rogers #whos getting lucky tonight?

139 notes · View notes

carolinedionecd · 4 years ago

Text

"What !? No - No"

Sterling palmed her face in shock.

"Mom? What's she talking about?"

Blair is directly looking at Debbie, with brows arched as a sign of confusion. She knew she'll never get an answer from Debbie so she looked at her dad.

"Dad?"

She opened her arms as a signal to Anders that she's waiting for an answer. Anderson bit his lip, took a big sigh and looked at Debbie, who's still crying while pointing her shotgun directly at Dana.

"Hello !? I'm shot !?"

Everyone looked at the man who's lying on the floor, Dana's shitty boyfriend. Bowser pointed his gun at the guy, cuffed then took him.

"Dad?"

Blair is still waiting for an answer, that she knows she's not gonna get, for now.

"Sterling come here!"

Blair took Sterling's wrist then took her to Bowser's car.

"Blair II - alkdjadniw"

Sterling's blabbering, because she's still in shock. Blair closed the backseat door where they're sitting.

"Listen to me, Sterl. We will always be sisters. Twin sisters. You just came out of our mom's twin sister. See? We're still twins"

Sterling looked at Blair who's waiting for her to speak.

"Y-yeah. Yeah. I could - I could deal with that."

Sterling can't cry. She's overwhelmed with emotions and shock and questions. They both looked out of the window when the police arrived. Dana is being put in jail.

Debbie, Anders, and Bowser are talking when the police left.

"Holy shit! They're gonna know that Bowser is a bounty hunter!"

Blair is now in a panic.

"W-what? Why? How?"

Sterling is still confused, her mind is far away from wherever they are.

"Shit they looked at us! Hide!"

They both ducked.

"Wait, why are we hiding?"

Sterling still full of confusion but she follows what Blair is doing because Blair is the only one that makes sense to her now.

"I - I - why are you hiding?"

Blair asked her back. Suddenly, the driver's seat door opened.

"Girls. I will get you home now. Okay?"

They sighed in relief when they heard Bowser's voice so they sat back on their seats.

"Did you tell them about bounty hunting? Did you tell them that we're on your team?"

Bowser rolled his eyes at Blair's question.

"First, I did not tell them that I am a bounty hunter. Second, they will never know you're on my team."

The twins took a big sigh. Blair is relieved that their cover isn't blown, as if a spy dodged a bullet. Sterling, took a big sigh because now that her mom is actually her aunt, she's seeing the family that she grew up in, in a totally different way.

"Third,"

Bowser broke the silence that made the two look at him.

"Are you okay baby girl?"

He's looking directly at Sterling. Blair looked at Sterling, waiting for her to answer Bowsie.

"Yeah, I guess so."

She looked down on her hand and tried to play with her nails.

"You know what? You don't even look like her. You look more like mom. Our mom. You're her favorite and I'm sure she loves you so much--," Blair's eyebrows crossed again. "--more than she loves me."

Confused with her own sentence, she shrugged it off, like she's telling herself that that's not the point.

"Do you remember in third grade, she told us she's gonna make us a ham sandwich for lunch, and then you got the ham sandwich and I got the peanut butter sandwich !?"

Sterling laughed when she remembered how angry Blair was when they got home and told their mom.

"Do you remember what she said?"

Asked Blair.

"Yeah. You told her, 'where was my ham sandwich !?'"

The two laughed because Sterling made an impression of Blair's third-grade-angry-face.

"Yeah! And she was like, 'Blair, you should learn to give to others especially your sister. I love you both so much but a responsible older sister should always take care of her younger sister.'"

They looked at each other.

"Yeah. That was fair."

Sterling finally agreed.

"She always put you first over me. Always has and always has been. But, works for me. Less attention, less expectation. It's enough for me to know they love me, they love us. But so you know, you have to take care of your kidney because I am not going to donate it. I want to die with my organs complete and intact. "

Bowser, silently listening to them shakes his head in awe.

"I should really stay hydrated."

Hydrated. Shoot. The water bottle. Lock-in meeting. April.

"Bye, Sterl."

Once again, Sterling took a big sigh. Her heart is crumbling like paper. Now her tears are starting to run down but she tried to hide them and wipe them away using her forehand.

"Oh my God!"

She looked at Blair when she heard her scream.

"What?"

Blair looked back at Sterling with tears in her eyes. With a wide freaking smile.

"It's Miles! He wants to talk!"

Blair happily hugged Sterl. The latter is so happy for her sister.

"Holy crap. We're gonna makeup, we'll be together again! Oh, sweet Jesus! I miss his smell!"

Sterling, can't help but miss April.

Her lips.

Her smile.

Her kiss.

Her smell.

Her skin.

"Honey"

Debbie hugged Sterling so tight. She knows Sterling is in shock but she's scared to let Sterling think negative thoughts and doubt herself.

"M-Can I still call you mom?"

Asked Sterling while they're hugging each other.

"Oh, sweetheart. I am your mom. No one else could be your mom. Okay? And you, are Sterling. You are our daughter. You are sisters - twin sisters."

Debbie softly touched their chins while smiling.

"See? I told you we're still sisters and twins."

Blair happily told Sterling. She smiled so wide. She's never been this happy to be a part of this family.

"I can't even imagine my life without you. I mean, who's gonna let me borrow a bra and never return it and doesn't get mad?"

Sterling laughed again. Anders and Debbie hugged the twins. They looked at each other with a genuine smile. Their hands intertwined with each other. Anders kissed Debbie on her forehead with a sigh of relief because the husband and the wife know that this night just made their family ties stronger than ever.

"Okay, can we please face the fact that you guys still didn't answer my questions last night?"

Typical Blair, asking questions and gets paranoid when they're not being answered.

"Okay, honey. First of all, we are having breakfast. I don't think it's appropriate to talk about that this time."

Blair's brows arched once again because of disbelief.

"A-actually, mom--" Sterling slightly smiled then reached for her nape. "--I want to know. I think I deserve that."

Debbie silently put down her tea, took the napkin out of her lap, and damped it on her lips before saying anything. Anders reached for Debbie's hand that is resting on her lap, which made her look at Anders. She took a big sigh.

"Okay, I'm going to make it short and precise."

Sterling and Blair are waiting for the answers while Anders enjoys himself chewing his food, but it is making an annoying sound. The three girls looked at him.

"What? I'm just eating my food."

Debbie rolled her eyes. The twins looked back at Debbie.

"Dana showed in our old house carrying you. Blair was just a month old. She told me she can't take care of you so she wanted me to take care of you as my own. Dana was a mess. I mean, she still is. But I don't know who your father is. That's it. "

Sterling isn't bothered anymore. She's a Wesley and will always be a Wesley.

"Are you going home right after school?"

Asked Blair while she's driving to school. Sterling's mind is still in the wind.

"Y-yeah. I guess. I don't have much to do."

Blair looked at Sterling with worry.

"It's gonna be okay. I know it's hard for you to walk around and see her in every corner but you have to be strong."

Sterling looked at Blair.

"Yeah. I just have to be strong."

Blair looked at her again, not convinced by how Sterling said those words.

"Or you can pretend you hate her again until it comes true."

Sterling looked at her.

"II-can't do that."

Sterling looked in the side-view mirror when she saw that they're approaching the parking lot.

"Just pretend. Okay? Act tough and doesn't care about her."

The last piece of advice from Blair before they step out of the car. "By the way, you have to take an uber later. I'm gonna meet with Miles. It's our make-up date. Or probably make-up-then-make-out-date."

Sterl just nodded to Blair.

"Incoming."

She whispered to Sterling as she saw April approaching them. Sterling's heart is pounding just the thought of hearing April's voice. She's directly looking at April while walking and is ready to stop whenever April greets her but to her dismay, April didn't greet her, or even called her name, or even took a glimpse of her.

Sterling stopped and turned around, chasing April's back by staring at her.

"Hey, Luke!"

Sterling turned her back before she sees the flirting that is about to happen.

"How is she doing that? I mean, that would be so hard for a gay woman to flirt with someone who's not even on her menu."

Whispered Blair to Sterling while walking towards the entrance.

"Shhhh someone might hear you."

Sterling dropped her bag then turned her face down the table. She kept taking deep breaths, assuming it would heal her aching heart.

"I told you to save me a seat beside you"

She heard the voice she's longing to hear, but she kept her cool and decided to only move when the bell rang.

"I'm sorry, Hannah B is already here when I came in. I wouldn't wanna sit beside--"

Ezequiel looked down at sleeping Sterling. April doesn't even need to turn her back to know who that girl is because even her peripheral vision can recognize her instantly. But for the sake of pretending, she looked around and rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

Hey guys I didn't know that tumblr has a limit. So I cant post the whole chapter. If you'd like to continue reading you can go to my wattpad account. Here's the link.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/251725935?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=BlueWhaaale&wp_originator=ayB6mhaua0htPKGYUuBaMBOLTreql97Gtq2XrCSLeglsobjcXhwlj7feIgshPrYg37%2F%2FSPEokHRINccn6JFN1sjV4x%2BZ8bgbF1HtvWBwBfwTOpRpdINWFkLBcro73h7g

10 notes · View notes

confringo- · 4 years ago

Text

A Blog About My Feelings on Jesy Leaving Little Mix So That My Mind Will Hopefully Shut Up About It!!

It’s been, like, 21? 22 days? Since Jesy left Little Mix and it’s still got me fucked up. I can’t listen to any of their songs without being covered in grief and it’s honestly gotten out of hand. I’m writing this because I feel like I’ve talked about it to my friends, vented about it EVERYWHERE ELSE except here and it’s all in bite sized pieces and I still cant get over it already.

And I know that I shouldn’t be over it yet but it’s just...it feels so petty. I understand why it had to happen logically. I’d much rather hear that Jesy left Little Mix to focus on her mental health than hear that Jesy fucking killed herself because it got too much. I watched the documentary. I know that Jesy could’ve done so. I should be happy for her. I should be happy that Little Mix hasn’t disbanded completely. But I’m not. I’m sad. I’m like super sad about it, to the point that I would have outbursts in my lonesome about how I wish Jesy hadn’t left. It’s so pathetic but also healthy, in a way, that I’m not bottling it up and live in constant denial about it. What’s bothering me about it is that I’m focusing so much on the negative aspect of it than I am the positives. Like, the FACT the mere FACT that Little Mix stayed together for NINE FUCKING YEARS and released SIX full studio albums and showed us nothing but unity and friendship and served us vocals for days should be something I should CELEBRATE not MOURN as though it didn’t mean anything.

I believe this is all only stemming from Little Mix being the first band that I loved this much to have a member leave.

I’ve listened to plenty of groups over my years and many of them have since disbanded or something to that extent but none of them have affected me the way Little Mix affected me.

Spice Girls, Destiny’s Child, the Pussycat Dolls, Fifth Harmony, Jonas Brothers, S Club 7, One Direction - listened to them a lot, but when they announced that they were parting ways or when I found out that they parted ways, I didn’t SCREAM and CRY the way I did when I read Little Mix’s tweet.

Let’s dissect this further:

Spice Girls/Destiny’s Child/S Club 7 - I was a kid. I didn’t stan people. Out of these three, I was most saddened to hear that S Club 7 was disbanding because they were the first group I bought a CASSETTE TAPE for and would listen to them on every car ride. When I heard it happening, I had other kid things to distract me and other things that caught my attention so I guess that I wasn’t too pressed. Now, I look back fondly at the songs these groups released. Despite the drama, despite whatever happened next, I just thought, hey this was a good song by them, let’s listen to it again and bop.

I wish I could be like this. It’s been more than a decade but I can’t really relate them to how I feel about Little Mix because while these people were part of my childhood, I didn’t attach myself to them the way I attached to Little Mix in my twenties. These groups have nostalgia pillowing the break. I consumed their content, their art, when I was still a child and had no thoughts other than “nice sounds i love.”

The Pussycat Dolls - If you know, you know. PCD...what a group. I lived for them. I think, out of all of these groups, I stanned PCD the most. They gave a teenage gay like me everything I ever asked for. The bops, the choreography, the lewks. I figured out, right away: Oh, Nicole’s...singing...all of this...? And I didn’t expect much out of them, really? Like, I didn’t live under any illusion that this was anything more than Nicole and the Girls. I was excited for Doll Domination, the second album, because each girl had a solo song on the album and Melody definitely had a few more lines in it, but when they disbanded, I was like It’s Better This Way because, you know, it sounded like being in the band sucked. When I listen to PCD now, I do feel the tiniest pang for the girls. Like, the songs still rock but I’m still thinking like “Nicole let the girls sing!” or like “Oop, let’s listen to Nicole and the Girls again!” instead of referring to them as the Pussycat Dolls.

That’s why I’m not too pressed with their disbandment. It’s because they weren’t so much a group as they were an act, if that makes a little bit of sense. I loved them but it wasn’t like I expected much out of them, you know? I’m a little pressed about their reformation and hope, HOPE, that Nicole lets the others shine like a proper band instead of letting them all fade into the background.

Jonas Brothers - Okay. So. I was a Disney Channel bitch as a teenager. I’m not embarrassed. I loved the Jonas Brothers. My favorite was Kevin because I didn’t have to fight anyone for him (you know, except his WIFE). I loved the dynamic, I loved their music, I loved their faces. When they disbanded, I was kinda turning into the angsty teen I was meant to be and I was going through the throes of being a teenager so I was rather too preoccupied with myself to care if the Jonas Brothers were making new music or not. I was also at this point in my life where I’m like “Oh I listen to all kinds of music. My taste spans all kinds of genre and I listen to so many artists, you would not believe” that the Jonas Brothers disbandment didn’t send me to tears.

Fifth Harmony/One Direction - We all know where this is going. The one member who leaves because they want to go solo. This has happened to plenty of bands/groups before them, and I’m sure they aren’t the last. Here’s the thing with these two. I wasn’t IN it. Like, I listened to like full One Direction albums, and I listen to a lot of Fifth Harmony. But they were more of a background thing for me. I liked them but I didn’t LOVE them, you know? And that’s probably why, when I heard that they were parting ways, I was like, okay. That makes sense for you, I wish you well, and then keep listening to their old songs like it’s nothing. Because I didn’t stan them the full 100%.

This is all to say that I’ve had bands/groups that I like disband and all for valid reasons.

Then why, when Jesy leaves Little Mix - in what could be the most graceful and honest way possible - why am I so sad about it? Why am I so angry? Why am I grieving as though I can never listen to their music ever again? Like it’s right there? Why can’t I just listen to the fucking albums?!

As I was writing, I realized something: Little Mix is connected to my happiest moments. That’s why it’s so hard for me to reconcile this sadness. It’s because I’ve never been sad when I listen to Little Mix. I listen to them when I want to be in a good mood, and now that’s been soured by Jesy’s departure.

And why would it be soured by Jesy’s departure? When Jesy’s reasoning for it is mental health. It wasn’t a feud. It wasn’t creative differences. It wasn’t because she wanted to fly solo. She left because she couldn’t handle it anymore and she was doing what was best for her. She is focusing on making herself happy instead of making other people happy. I love that for her.

I guess I’m angry at the people who made her this way. I’m angry at the people who tore her apart, tore her down, to the point that she wasn’t happy anymore doing what was supposed to love the most doing. I want to kill them. I wish them all the ill in the world and I hope they all suffer miserable lives for what they’ve done to Jesy. That’s how angry I am. Truly. I want to go to each of their homes and kill them for catharsis.

That’s extreme. And, to the government person reading this, we’re in a pandemic and I don’t have enough money or clout to pull this off. Don’t worry. No massacres are being planned in the making of this dumb blog about feelings.

Anyway.

It was so unnecessary. So needless.

What I hate about this is that the girls will continue without Jesy and maybe people are going to start saying that they sound better without her. I almost don’t want Little Mix to succeed because I want everyone to know that they’re much better as a four than a three, which is INCREDIBLY unfair to the other girls and trust that I will be supporting every succeeding performance and album and song that they’ll come out with. It’s just...

I don’t want the haters to be proven right in a way? It’s stupid. It’s so stupid. But that’s how my brain processed this. I also don’t want to prove Jesy’s demons right. I don’t want her to look at Little Mix and be like “Oh they’re better without me” because she made Little Mix special as much as the other girls. I don’t know how to CONVEY that to her in the following months or years. I want her to know, that no matter what, she’s special. She brought something to Little Mix. That her voice was everything. Her look was everything. They all tied it together and that’s what made Little Mix so wonderful. The unity! The cohesiveness!

I would hate to think that Jesy would watch their next songs and performances and think that she has no place in it anymore and therefore, maybe never ever return, you know? I would hate that.

I avoided listening or watching any performance when there were only three of them because then I’d be curious about the comments and then the comments will affect me in a weird way and I just don’t want to feel those feelings in YouTube comments.

I don’t know where I’m going with this anymore.

Confetti was my favorite album. Out of all of them, Confetti was their peak for me. It’s honestly the first album that I had without any skips. Glory Days had its skips, for sure, and so did LM5, but Confetti. Damn.

I guess I’m also bitter that I won’t get to hear them sing some of the songs live. Like, we got Break Up Song and Holiday. We got Sweet Melody, kinda, but I’m still bummed that we didn’t get all 4 of them at least once on a live Sweet Melody.

But I would’ve loved to hear more. Like. Rendezvous. A Mess. Happiness. Not a Pop Song. I would’ve loved to hear those live. Confetti. God. I would’ve loved to see Confetti performed.

Again. These are all MY feelings. My selfish little feelings about Jesy’s departure. Jesy Nelson doesn’t owe me shit. I don’t own her. I respect her departure.

It’s just...

It’s just so hard to wrestle these feelings into submission. Now, I see Perrie, Jade, and Leigh posting shit. I see them as a three piece. I listened to a few performances JUST TO GET USED TO IT and I’m so proud of them for continuing but I’m going to miss Jesy so much. So fucking much.

God. The amount of times I’ve cried writing this.

These intrusive thoughts are coming in, telling me that the girls are no longer friends, and they’re happier without Jesy, that Jesy will disappear and never be heard from ever again. God I’m going to miss the sound of her voice. Fuck. I’m going to miss their dynamic as a four.

It’s not going to be the same. No one’s expecting it to be the same. I’m sad. I’m sad that it’s not going to be the same and I’m sad that I won’t hear Jesy’s part of the harmony in new songs again.

I’m fucking sad and I don’t want to be anymore because Little Mix is so entrenched in my happiness that it’s really fucking up the emotional equilibrium that I struggle to maintain.

I want to be able to listen to their songs again and celebrate that it even happened at all and not grapple with how I feel about this huge change in something I held so dear for so long. I wish that I had other experiences like this to lean back on and remember that “Hey, you got through this disbandment, you’ll get through this one too!” But I don’t. This is the first departure of a member from a band I loved and it’s really hitting me hard. All I want is for it to stop because I want Jesy to be happy. If that means not being in Little Mix, I should be able to understand and accept that. Why can’t I just accept it?

Which stage of grief am I on?

Somewhere between anger and depression. I don’t know how far acceptance is but I want to be there already. Out of everything that I could grieve about, this should be the least of my problems. There are other problems in the world, in my life, that require my energy. I can’t keep spending it on a girl group. The break wasn’t even that fucking bad.

But I have to remember that I’m allowed to feel sadness. I’m allowed to feel grief. I’m allowed to feel anger. At the very least, this will pass and it will be an easier transition than most.

I want to hug Jesy. so much. I want her to know that she’s loved and that she brought so much to the group and she’s given me so much joy and that she’s helped people and that she’s still part of Little Mix even though she’s left it. An integral part of Little Mix. And that I will fucking kill everyone who’s wronged her or said anything bad about her with my bear hands if I could.

That’s all I have to say right now. Fuckin. To the Mixer reaching this to the end, thank you. I hope you feel better too. Here’s a virtual hug: (virtual hug). We’ll get through this. For the girls, we’ll get through this.

#Little Mix #Joey's diary

5 notes · View notes