#cw flashback ment

[dragoncarrion]

Watched a movie today

[aothotties]

Drunk Texting

Heyyyyy! Im Rachel, the other half of AOTHOTTIES. Like she said this is very much 18+ so minors DNI :)

I hope you enjoy this fic about your ex, Connie drunk texting you :)

CW: NSFW, oral (f. receiving), lil bit of overstimulation, pet names (daddy,papi,mami,baby, etc), creampie <3

also all the stuff in italics is flashback :)))) & there is a tiny crumb of Spanish in this cause Connie is literally Dominican idc.

Bitch fucj yoi

I hat evrythif about u 

Baby plse i muss you sm

I nevrw ment the things isaid to you

Fine syipid bitvh dont reply i literlt dont care 

Thats why i fckd spooo many bitcjes since i lefy your sorry ass

Y/N please answer me

You stared blankly at the multiple texts you received from your ex, Connie. You knew he was drunk, it seemed to be the only thing he did since you broke up. Messages like this were a common occurrence at this point.

Constance, get a fucking grip please 

You get a gril. You mak me sivk

Im begging you to get yourself together 

Shut up

I missyou sobmuch

Y/N im sorry

You’re fucking pathetic

Mami….

Turning on DND, throwing your phone to the opposite end of the couch you decided you were done with this sorry ass conversation. This was every fucking day. Connie spends the morning completely unbothered by you but by nightfall, an influx of jumbled messages that get progressively worse as the night goes on. If you're lucky you'll get a 10-minute-long voicemail that ranges from sweet words of him expressing his love to you all the way down to him cursing your name as he explains how much he hates you. You understood the apologies and the million i-love-yous, you deserved it. You were the best thing to ever happen to him and you both knew it. It was the anger and hatred that got to you. It didn't hurt your feelings, but it pissed you off. How could he be angry when he's the one in the wrong? He was the one that hurt you and he didn't deserve to be angry, you did. 

“Why the fuck are YOU angry, dickhead. You make me so fucking mad”, you mumbled to yourself as you thought about the day you broke up

“Baby, text my mom and let her know i’ll meet her at the airport at 8am and remind her not to forget my passport this time. And do your best to say it in spanish you know her ass can't speak english”

You were sad your man was leaving you to go to DR but his grandfather had passed and he was going to his funeral and to spend time with his family. His parents invited you to tag along but you weren't able to get the time off work at such a short notice. 

“Ok so i tried my best but i promise you she probably will know its me trying to speak spanish”

You laughed as you placed his phone back on the charger next to you. He shrugged his shoulders and chuckled and he continued playing his game as you sat next to him watching him lose for the 3rd time

His phone dinged next to you. You picked it up assuming it was his mom, but it was from an unsaved number.

“ what she say?” he asked also thinking his mother had responded

“It's not her it's just a random number”“Who is it?”

“I don't know I'll look”

Papi, te extraño.

Y extraño el bicho que me diste la ultima vez

Your heart dropped into your stomach. You didn't speak Spanish, but he had taught you enough to understand exactly what was happening. You couldn’t believe what you were reading as you felt tears well up in your eyes. Before you could even speak another message came in. a picture of her ass in the smallest thong you’ve seen with “Connie ❤️” tattooed on the cheek. At this point you couldn't stop yourself from crying.

Remembering seeing that image on his phone brought you to tears. “Dirty cheating bastard” you mumbled while you got up to wash your face in the bathroom. You kept replaying that moment in your head no matter how much you hated it, it was a day you'd never forget.

“Connie what the fuck? Are you serious?” yelling as you tossed his phone at him. He paused his game and shot you a confusing look then you watched as a guilty look washed over his expression when he looked at the phone

“Mami please, i can explain”

“Nah. save it. Get all your shit and get the fuck out”

You unplugged his xbox and removed it from your dresser. You tore through every drawer grabbing anything that was his and tossed it directly at him 

“Y/N please listen to me. It's not what it looks like Y/N i promise you. Baby please, look at me, please listen”

His words went in one ear and out the other as pain boiled over into anger and rage. The closet contained most of his things and you yanked the door open and began tearing all his clothes off the hangars, some ripping in the process

“Oh my god, Y/N you have to hear me ou – “

“I don't have to hear shit” you cut him off not wanting to hear another word out his mouth. “What can you even tell me right now? You're just going to explain something I can clearly see. There’s some bitch in DR you fucked when you stayed with your grandparents over the summer. Right now, she's eagerly waiting on you, missing the dick you gave her last time.”

Connie looked shocked and sad at the same time. He’s never seen you so angry before, you've always handled your emotions so well but this was the first time seeing you completely blow up

“Oh you thought i wouldn't understand what she said?” you laughed in his face. “ i know enough to see you're a piece of shit, get your shit off the fucking floor and get out connie” you tried to walk out but he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall

“No Y/N let me explain,please” tears ran down his cheeks as he begged you to listen. You tried to squirm out of his grip but he was too strong

“ i don't want to hear –”

“No please listen”

There was no escaping his grasp and you found yourself stuck listening to what he had to say.

You stared at your pathetic expression in the mirror as water trickled down your face. Could you really be here crying over a cheater? Was it seriously still affecting you after 5 months? Defeated, you slid down the wall in the bathroom and pulled your knees to your chest. With your face buried in your hand the tears began spilling as you continued to relive one of the most heartbreaking moments of your life 

“Y/N i know it looks bad but this is a misunderstanding”

It made you sick just looking at him. A cheating piece of shit staring down at you trying to make up some lies to get him out of the situation. If it wasn't for him having you pushed up against the wall you would have walked out, not even caring to listen.

“Look ok, we broke up that summer, remember? And I was kind of upset, so  my uncle decided to take me out to clear my head and I met her at a club. Y/N i don’t even know her real name. She goes by a nickname and I never even talked to her enough to find out – “ he was interrupted by you getting even angrier than before.

“So you don't even know this bitch? You just stuck your dick in the first person you saw when you got there? And don't give me that “we broke up” bullshit, Connie we talked the entire summer you were there and you know this. You called me every day to tell me how much you miss me and couldn't wait to come back so we can work on ourselves, just for it to be lies. You obviously didn't miss me enough to stop fucking around.”

“This was before that, it was when I literally first got there. Before I called you that one night, remember when I called you and we spent the entire night on the phone? That's when we started talking again. I had met her before that night and it was dumb but yes, I slept with her. But it meant nothing baby i promise you”

He started crying again as he was explaining what happened. You felt nothing while watching him fall apart in front of you. Even though he was practically falling to his knees there was something in your gut that made you feel like this was so much deeper that what he tried to make it 

“It was still  wrong, connie!” ,you found yourself screaming at this point, “if you KNEW you were on the island fucking with someone why would you even call me again? You knew exactly what the fuck you were doing!”

“Y/N, please listen, it was nothing. It was a stupid summer fling –”

Just like that..he told on himself. The situation he tried to pass off as a one-time quick fuck was actually a long term fling that lasted the entire time he was on vacation. 

In that instance you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. Tears began flooding from your eyes and you barely found the strength to whisper, “so it happened more than once?”

He swallowed hard before responding, “Yes Y/N, it did. And I know we were still talking but we still weren't technically together so i didn't think it was wrong. And she got the tattoo without even telling me, okay? She made it more important than what it really was. And when I came home I never spoke to her again. I can show you the messages i do not talk to this girl. I'm not even sure how she knows I'm coming again.”

With every word he spoke your heart broke more. He wanted to dismiss the situation and downplay it. This was obviously more than a summer fling to her and he must have given her reason to believe so. Connie was the love of your life and you never expected him to do something like this. You knew he was the one when you first met him. He treated you better than anyone ever had and no matter the ups and downs he was patient with you. He understood you were constantly at war with yourself, but he always calmed your storm and brought silence to your chaos. Yet here he was, standing in front of you, trying to justify infidelity. Anger arose in you again and you felt rage you've never felt before.

“Get your sorry ass out!”, you screamed as you slapped him across the face. He clenched his jaw and balled his fist and for a split second you though he was going to hit you back. But then he released the tension in his body and dawned a cold demeaner

“You know what Y/N, fuck you. And fuck this relationship. You're trying to make me the bad guy for acting single when i was….single. And as I'm here in front of you apologizing trying to show you that it was nothing, you act like the hard headed bitch you always are. I can't keep dealing with your bullshit, Y/N. so ill gladly get the fuck out because truthfully i fucking hate you.”

He grabbed your hand and slipped the ring off your finger then he turned to walk out of the closet as you stood there shocked. He had never spoken to you like this in the 4 years you were together. You had so much to say in that moment because how could he have the audacity to be angry right now, but you were unable to speak. You stood, dumbfounded, as you watched him grab his keys and walk out the door.

After that you didn't hear from him for 2 months straight. He reached out to you to genuinely check on you but in those months you had begun to heal and love yourself. You started therapy and worked closely with her to get over what he said and done. When you ignored the first message the angry, drunk, message started. 

You continued to sob on the floor. In these 5 months you gained so much strength, but you still had nights like this. Your broken heart still lingered no matter how much you thought you were over it and him. Every part of you still loved him and you wished you never saw the messages that day. You'd be married to the love of your life if you didn't. But instead of a happy life with him you were sitting on a cold floor crying so hard it was difficult to breathe. You decided to indulge in his coping mechanism. You pulled yourself up off the floor and went into the kitchen. You swung the freezer door open and grabbed the bottle of crown peach, it was his favorite and you avoided drinking it so as to not remind yourself of him. But you felt different tonight. In some sick way his favorite liquor made you feel as if you still had a part of him with you. The smooth liquor burned as you drank it straight from the bottle. As the liquor began coursing through your body you had an urge to text him. It was your turn to send the angry drunk texts and give him a taste of his own medicine. 

As you feverishly typed you heard your front door unlocking. Your best friend had a spare key but it wasn't like her to show up unexpected. You shrugged it off and locked your phone, taking her surprise visit as a sign you should just leave him alone. You heard footsteps through the hall that grew louder as they approached the kitchen. You turned to greet her but was shocked at the sight before. Connie, with bags under his eyes, was standing right in front of you, looking at you as if he’d seen an angel.  A few seconds of silence had passed as neither one of you knew what to say. A small part of you wanted to run into his arms, kiss him and tell him how much you missed him. But he cheated on you and told you he hated you. And he had to leave your house immediately.

“Connie leave. I forgot you still had your key, but you can leave it on the counter before you go”

There was no feeling in your voice and no expression on your face. You couldn't show him your hand and he had to believe you were over him. He started walking closer to you with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Y/N, i missed you so much. I'm sorry for barging in like this but I just had to see you.” words were spilling out of his mouth and he walked closer, “I'm a piece of shit okay? I know what i did was fucked up and not a day goes by that i don't regret it but baby i promise you she was nothing. I was wrong for being with her while promising you we’d get back together and I feel like such a dick. I hurt the only person I've ever loved and I'll never forgive myself for that but Y/N i can't stop loving you. I don't deserve it but please forgive me, please tell me you still love me as much as you did before this”, he sobbed, “i don't want to be with anyone else. I want you to marry me, Y/N. you're supposed to be my wife, we’re supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring he had given you before. He grabbed your hand to put it on your finger but you pulled away. At this point you were crying too. Those are words you wanted to hear this whole time. You spent many nights crying into your pillow wishing he’d call you to say that exact same thing to you. You wanted to take him back but you knew better than to give in

“How can we be together again, Connie?”, you spoke through tears, “I'll never be able to trust you again. You broke me, and I don't know if I can forgive you.” 

He grabbed your hands, fell to his knees and looked up at you as he pleaded, “Y/N please! I need you, I can't go on without you. I'll apologize every day for the rest of my life so you’ll forgive me, mami please I'm so sorry. I never meant the things i said to you before i left, i could never hate you, mami, you're the love of my life. The drunk texts were stupid, and all lies. I haven’t been with anyone since you because I can't get you off my mind. Please, please give me another chance, baby i promise i wont fuck it up this time. Please, I'll do anything to get you to forgive me” his sobs were uncontrollable as he begged for your forgiveness.

You looked down at him as he begged and cried. Unsure if it was the liquor in you or the lack of dick since he left but you became aroused at the sight in front of you. This man looking so pathetic on his knees, crying and begging for you to be with him again made a pool of wetness form in your panties. You stepped closer to him until his face touched your pelvis and you quietly thanked yourself for not wearing pants. 

“Anything?’ you seductively asked. Connie grabbed your hips to pull you closer as he took a deep breath of your scent. A bulge formed in his pants as your sweet smell filled his nose. He began kissing your clothed clit. A soft moan escaped your lips from the pleasure and was in this moment you realized how much you missed having his face between your thighs. His tongue darted out of his mouth and he licked your cunt through your panties. You whined, desperately wanting to feel his tongue again.

Connie grew hungry and couldn't bother to take your panties off. He moved the soaked fabric to the side and attached his mouth to your swollen clit. You let out a high pitched “baby” as the pleasure consumed you. His tongue licked from your hole up to your clit then back down. He continued this as your moans grew louder. The sound of your wetness echoed through your kitchen and Connie's dick pressed hard against the fabric of his pants that were now wet from his precum. 

He started to fuck your hole slowly with his tongue and you moved you hips up and down, grinding yourself on his face. Connie knew you loved this and knew it would bring you to your peak.

“Mm papi, just like that. please don't stop” you begged as your budding orgasm came close to the edge. “Cum for me mami, right in my mouth," he responded between licks. You put your leg over his shoulder for balance as you drew closer to your climax. His hands squeezed your thighs as your cunt clenched around his tongue, he knew from that alone you were about to cum for him. “Fuck baby, im cumming ah –” you shivered as your cum spilled into his mouth. He licked your juices making sure to not waste a drop.

He stood up and crashed his lips on yours. Connie kissed you as if it were the first time, the passion was tense between the two of you. You missed each other and your bodies missed each other too. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you up. He started kissing the spot on your neck that he knew would make you melt. You threw your head back and moaned his name, knowing that would awaken the beast in him. He carried you to the room you once shared and laid you on the bed. You spread your thighs as he crawled between them. You could feel his dick pressing on your core and started grinding on him. 

“connie , i need it” you panted, grinding on him even faster.

“Un uh mami, you know you have to give me another one before i fuck you. Don't act like you forgot the rules”

He lifted your shirt and kissed from your neck to your chest. He brought his lips to your left nipple and pinched the right then switched to ensure they both got love. He planted kisses down your abdomen until he reached your cunt. He removed your panties wasting no time before latching again to your now sensitive clit. 

“Fuck mami you taste better than before. I missed tasting your sweet pussy every night” 

“ i m-missed squirting - mmm - on your face” you brokenly responded through your moans. You passed your fingers through his short silver hair, instinctively pushing his face deeper into your pussy. 

The overstimulation from his mouth was too much. “Connie baby! Too much – daddy please!” tears ran down your face as you squirmed under him. Your thighs tried to close to escape the stimulation, but he pinned your thighs to the mattress, “you can do it mami, one more time, just for papi. Can you give me another, princess?”, he slid his fingers in your cunt and curled them to hit your g-spot. His mouth found its way back to your clit as he finger fucked you harder. “Papi, ‘m gonna cum again” your body began shaking and your climax washed over you. You squirted on his face and he lapped it up as it spilled out of you. “good girl” he whispered as he came back up to kiss your cheek.

He slid off the bed and dropped his pants, taking his boxers down with them. Your mouth watered as you watched his dick spring out from its confines. He crawled back on top of you and lined his tip with your entrance, soaking it with your slick.

“Baby please don't tease” you begged as he rubbed his dick up and down your folds. Pleasure overcoming him, he slid into your cunt, sighing at the feeling of you clenching around his length. 

“Diablo, mami” he groaned as he came down to kiss you. He slipped his tongue in your mouth and deepened his strokes. You felt his tip hitting your cervix causing you to jump at the feeling.

“connie – fuck right there baby you're hitting it just right” you whined.

Hearing you say those words drove him insane. He picked up his pace and began bullying his dick into you. Your moans turned to slight screams and his groans grew louder.

“Oh mami”, he sighed, “i missed this pussy so much. You feel so good on my dick.”

Your walls began spasming as you reached your third orgasm for the night. Your hand clung to his back leaving scratches. Connie was fucking into you like a wild person. The look in his eyes was feral and the only thing on his mind was how good you felt taking his cock.

“ ‘M cumming papi, ah-, mm cant take it baby'.  you were a mess, tears staining your face, drool pooling on your chin. Your fucked out expression brought connie to his peak.

 “I'm gonna cum inside you baby. You want that? You want to feel me cum inside that tight little pussy?”

“Yes, cum inside me please baby, wan’ to feel your cum inside of me”

He groaned loudly as he came deep inside of you, hot ropes filling you to your brim. He slid himself out slowly and stared at your cunt, watching his sticky cum spill out of your fucked out hole. He rolled off and laid next to you. He pulled you to his chest and wrapped his arms around you

“ i really am sorry Y/N for everything” he said while tracing circles on your back

You grabbed his jaw and turned his face towards you then planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I know baby. Lets work on us, i want to be with you forever.” you whispered as you broke the kiss

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

“I love you”, he whispered.

“I love you too” you responded as you drifted off to sleep with the love of your life

[voidselfshipp]

Proud of the Man youve becomed.

Cw: angst, hurt and comfort flashback ment ,eye contact tw

Ok to rb.

Summary: recently V has gotten some of hud memories back, and with his old life coming to light once again he feels confused and upset, luckily for him, jerico Will go to the end to find his old memories and life.

Jerico turns around in bed, searching for Vincent.

She sits up sighing, walking out of their room, into the shadow gallery-- V?!-- she calls Into the empty house.

-- kitchen!--answered V.

She walks there and sits on his lap,he hugs her waist and pulls her closer.

He sighed heavily pressing his head on her shoulder.

--you can lay down the gentleman act v-- jer said pressing a kiss to his mask.

-- I know-- he whispered-- its tiring, but I enjoy it,you know?

-- I know, but its going to tire you out-- she said lifting his chin up.

He takes off his mask and smiles softly.

-- oh what id do without you-- V added kissing jerico.

--im here when you need me vincent--she kissed him again.

Both stand up and he picks her up and walk to the livingroom and sit on the sofá watching the tele.

They talk softly hugging,v presses his forehead against hers and pulls her in for a hug.

--why were you awake?-- jer asked.

--i had...more flashbacks from my life before larkhill, my name was vincent....vincent weaving I think, i had Many aunts..mainly because they were married to other women-- he chuckles-- I was an artist..., me and mum used to dance togheter...

Jerico listens carefully as to what vincent said, he lays her on his chest and she hugs him tightly.

Sighing he adds-- I coulnt salvage anything of my other life, I think its for the best, letting it go...

Jer felt sad, she softly strokes his chest as he closes his eyes, pulling over the cover for the both of them she kisses his chin.

The Next day she went out, V was asleep, hed developed a very heavy sleep that let her sneak out more often.

She went all around london with evie, looking for any traces of Vs old life.

Jerico almost cried when she found some of his old paintings, a photo and a voice recording.

When she comes back vincent is with his arms crossed, no words was said but she understood he wanted an explanation, he never liked it when she went away, he was scared of losing her.

-- look-- jerico said handing him what she found-- you deserve to know who you were vin, evie and I found these

He almost drops them in surprise gasping loudly, the paintings-- I... how did you find these?--His eyes water as he sees the last piece,a portrait of his aunts dancing, and her mom.

He leaves the paintings aside and hugs her tightly-- you scared me to death you know that right?, but Im thankfull for this...

They sit on the sofá as he sees the pictures-- oh look, those are my aunts-- he said with nostalgia-- they are as ravishing as I remember them, oh and my mother...

Jerico looks at the old woman and smiles-- heh you two are identical...

He puts the pictures aside and grabs the cazzette. Rumishing around a cupboard to find its player.

When he found it jerico kissed vincent and squeezed his hand leaving him to listen to the tape.

He sniffs taking off his mask and scratching his nose.

"is this thing on? Oh there we go

vincent I hope youll find this tape,I know how hard things are now that you went away, we all miss you

but I know you, youre mammas Smart boy, youll give those bastardi (bastards) something to cry about

i hope by the time you hear this that you have a happy life my son, you deserve it.

I hope you have a wonderfull home, that you live with a partner that loves you as you are

I hope that youre happy with them,that they are happy with you

but most of all I hope youre true to yourself, Keep being that gentlemanly, Smart boy you always were, I hope you can Open up to your loved ones

i hope that you Keep being that emotional Man you always were

and if you changed thats alright too,we Will still love you vincent

Ti voglio bene figlio mio

Take care of yourself for mamma (mom) okay?.

I cant wait to see the Man youve becomed"

The recording ends with vincents mother and aunts saying "ciao vincent!" At the same time.

V breaks down crying and jerico bolts into the room hugging him tightly.

He cries on her shoulder and presses his forehead against it.

She caresses his back as his arms wrap around her waist.

He breathes in, looking at jerico, tears Rolling down his cheeks-- ti amo cara mia(i love you my dear)-- he whispered kissing her.

--yo también te amo( I love you too)-- jerico answered

They went to the kitchen and she gave him a glass of water.

Víctor,their Orange stripped cat purrs against Vs leg, he drinks the water and smiles picking the cat up.

-- ah Víctor always so worried about me

Jer smiles kissing vincent-- you know we should go visit your family again

The Man nodds-- its been a while hasnt it?, but first I want you to hear the tape with me, please?

She nodds and goes to sit with him

That night they went to the graveyard where Vs family was buried.

He talked to them as jer stood in silence holding his hand.

They left scarlett carsons and went back to the shadow gallery.

And as jerico held vincent closely they fell asleep, he still had a family, and he was becoming his own Man, one his mother would be proud of.

[carbonateddelusion]

"I'm going to die here. I know I will."

-

just messing around with style.. I really enjoy writing for Edgar and as a victim of abuse myself it's very cathartic to mess around with his story

click for better quality

[originlist]

@homeport​ сказал(а):

Flashback for Edgemiya, if he remembers any memories to share. For Sitonai. Come and be a fun rp partner that would never hurt me.

ask meme // accepting!

this isnt a coherent memory because nothing alter thinks is coherent, but it’s also canon material say thanks nasu

cws: murder / child death / pregnancy ment

His memories are rote.

Every single face of every human he’s ever killed. Or close enough to that (what’s the possibility of remembering every drop you’ve watched fall into an ocean? But he remembers most of them). He remembers being Archer, vaguely.

He doesn’t remember why he was Archer, only through secondhand information that someone was once named Shirou Emiya and Shirou Emiya once had people who cared about him. Those aren’t faces he knows. And usually, when those faces tell him he should know them--

He knows what they look like dying. “Ah! It’s you!” Jaguar Man says, and Alter knows her, because he shot her once. She was begging him to spare Kiara Sessyoin, and she was pregnant. He shot her in the heart and then the head, one after the other, without hesitation. Two bullets because he was hoping maybe that way, one of them would be instantaneous. He remembers what she looked like when she fell to the ground. He wonders what she would have named her kid.

“I know you,” she said then, but she was crying. “Shirou, I know it’s you. You wouldn’t do this. You’re a good person, Shirou.” But he would. Because he had to. And he did. And she died. He’s not a good person.

(”You’re seeing things,” he bites at Jaguar now, the edge in his voice turning sharp. “We’ve never met.”)

Whoever the hell Shirou was started cracking. He flicks off memories like cleaning dried paint off his hands. Scrub away a person. Their death remains. Nothing’s perfect.

She said his name was Shirou, and she knew him, and she loved him. She was going to be a mom, huh. He watches Jaguar Man after she’s pouted and walked off, and remembers what she looked like with blood dripping from her forehead, and thinks that in a different world she would have been a fun mom.

He knows, though, he’s never met anyone named Sitonai. He shouldn’t have met her vessel, either, before the throne circled around him. He knows this because he can’t remember what she looks like dead, and he’s killed almost everyone he’s met. (It’s not that it’s annoying, it’s just weird, to be spoken to like you’re someone else and someone known, by someone you’ve never met.)

It’s for the best. He doesn’t like dead kids.

Somewhere, Archer stands over Fujimura’s dead body. He slots another bullet into his gun. Mechanical. He doesn’t need to be aware of what he’s doing. Just needs to pull the trigger. It’s so, so heavy. The weight of water is about one kilo per liter, he thinks. Blood probably weighs the same. He feels like that’s all he’s slogging through.

“You’re a delinquent,” Sitonai tells him.

He looks at her, and can’t decide which would be better; that she’s angry he won’t believe she’s his sister, or that if he did remember her, he’d probably also know what she looks like with her white hair floating in a pool of her own blood. “Guess so.”

[raytaku]

Cw animal death, trauma ment

Honestly part of me is still in denial about Zen's death, even though for like. First two days I had flashbacks of it whenever I closed my eyes (and I can't really let my mind sit idle or wander without it replaying everything)

Like. There's still part of me that thinks that she's going to come out of hiding from the bushes or she'll start barking with the other two dogs when they hear a car or truck driving by

I think it's bc it all happened so quickly. Literally in the same amount of time it took to blink it was over. Perhaps that was only good thing there. Her death was horrible, but at least it was quick, she didn't suffer

She didn't deserve to go that way. No one does, really, but especially not her

I guess another thing that may be considered "positive" here is that I know I can use my experience and apply it to my writing, but honestly it isn't a good tradeoff

[escaping-thoughts-reviews]

Dooku: Jedi Lost by Cavan Scott, 2019

Not much is known of the mysterious leader of the Independent Systems. Former Jedi Master, Count of Serenno, philanthropist, political genius and secretly Lord of the Sith. 

This is his story. From birth to Jedi-hood and sub sequential fall to the Darkside. It follows Dooku’s growth, the friends he made, his journey as a Master of two controversial Padawans and his fascination with ancient Sith relics and Jedi prophecies.

-

First audiobook I ever listened to, and while a paper version was later published, I think the book works better in his original audio format (I’ll explain later).

The book starts just before the events of the Clone Wars. Ventress is starting her apprenticeship with Dooku and is given the task to find a woman that has close ties to the former Jedi Master.

The narration jumps from present to past through audiologs of Dooku’s childhood as Initiate, Padawan and into adulthood as a Knight and Master. 

I found this narrating choice to be very effective and while other books can fall into the trap of blurring the lines between past and present events, confusing the reader, here the author manages to keep the two distict.

One of the most interesting parts of this novel is Dooku’s family and their history. We discover how he came to be in the Jedi Order and his father’s resentment of him. It’s revealed he has two siblings, a sister named Jenza and a brother, Ramil. During the novel we see their relationship grow. And while Jenza cares for Dooku and stays in contact with him through the years, Ramil takes from their father and resents Dooku and wants nothing to do with him.

Serenno as a world is further explored. From their repulsion for Force sensitive beings to an ancient mural depicting a creature capable of destroying the world: the Tirra’Taka.

We also explore Dooku’s relationship with Sifo-Dyas, a fellow Initiate and Padawan, and his slow descent into madness that will lead him to create the Clone Army.

Sadly Yoda is written as a crappy master and it feels really out of character. He chooses Dooku, but almost immediately leaves him with another Master and barely teaches him anything. I feel like this was a lost opportunity to explore their bond and the reasons Dooku resents Yoda so much in the future (I guess for that we have the EU).

The reason why this story works better in audio format can be summarised in a scene when Dooku hears voices in a vision when only a Padawan learner (some among them are Ventress, Savage, Sidious, Qui-Gon, Yoda, etc...). I loved this moment, although it begs the question if Dooku always had this ability. Sure it could be tallied to this being a Disney book and therefore “there are no rules”, but some consistency would be appreciated.

As the story switches to Ventress’s PoV, we learn more abou Ky Narec through her recalling of events, and his voice acts as a conscience to the Sith assassin. A conscience she tries to bury.

I would also like to share some of my favourite moments from this book (no spoilers):

D: “There’s no harm in feeling pride. I’m proud of you after all.” “If I never do anything of note ever again, I will watch you rise through the Order, changing it forever”

Q: “For the better?”

D: *soft, warm laugh*

This is probably one of my favourite moments. We see Dooku’s clear affection towards Qui-Gon and knowing the faith of the latter, it makes it even more heartbreaking (Euan Morton does an amazing job, that laugh kills me). It also allows us to understand more clearly why Dooku fell to the Dark Side, making the reader empathize with him.

D: “You are wise beyond your years, Qui-Gon Jinn. With a connection to the Living Force that may even rival Yoda.”

Q: “I doubt that”

[Oh, Qui, you don’t even know the half of it.]

D: “I have faith in you and faith in the Force”

[How do you go from this to the bitter man of CW?]

As events unfold, Dooku and Qui-Gon are sent by the Coucil to attend a Swooper race, where they encounter Ramil, who’s there as a pilot.

The action picks up as his swooper is sabotaged and the two Jedi chase the culprits through the underground levels of Coruscant, and we discover where Qui-Gon gets his maverik streak, or better, from who he gets it.

The chase leads them to confront a criminal boss. The confrontation enrages Dooku to the point he has to fight the lightning that threatens to escape, keeping it inside, controling it. Which is interesting, but also contradicts what we know about Force lightning, aka only those who are subjected to it in prolonged periods of time can use it. So it begs the question of how can Dooku use this ability if he was never exposed to it. But, again, this is a Disney novel, so lore consistency is not really expected. Here instead it’s treated as a force from within and the only way to control it is to accept it.

Another interesting side-plot it’s when a member of the Council is revealed to be allied with the underground boss, but only to protect a fellow Jedi, later revealed to be her son. The Master in question is Yula Braylon, a fromer seeker (a Jedi who finds Force sensitive children and brings them to the Temple). Her son instead is revealed to be Dooku’s training rival, Arath.

This opens a whole conversation about what’s wrong with the Order, because how sad is it that when threatened, a Jedi feels it’s safer to comply with the requests of a criminal, that to ask the Council for help. In the end, both Breylon and Arath are arrested.

The story then shifts to Dooku’s homeworld of Serenno, that is under invasion, the Republic doesn’t care (so neither does the Order) because they see it as an “internal fewd”, although they are under attack from a foreign world. Jenza sends a official help request, but the Order decides to ignore it. Dooku defies the Council and along with Sifo-Dyas and his Master, Kostana, travel to Serenno.

Ramil is revealed to be behind the invasion, the Houses of Serenno are in shambles and the population is forced out into the plains as refugees. The situation is dire.

Everything escaletes when Dooku and Kostana fall into a crevice and find the mythical Tirra’Taka.

To save his people Dooku mind melds with him and has accesses its memories, discovering that the Tirra’Taka was enslaved by the Sith and abandoned on Serenno after their defeat at the hands of House Serenno. He also discoveres that the beast hates force-sensitives and that he reawakened when Dooku returned all those years ago.  Finally explaining the fear and aberration Dooku’s father, Count Gora, felt towards him and how he saw his son’s Force-sensitivity as a threat to Serenno and wanted him as far away as possible. 

Along with these revelations Sifo-Dyas is rapidly losing his mind, having nonstop visions, caused by the growing distress of the creature. I’ll be honest, Syfo’s abilities don’t make much sense and seem to be there just to hype the drama.

Before Ramil can kill Jenza and the rest of the people, Dooku summons the Tirra’Taka and uses it to destroy the invading army. This causes Sifo-Dyas to lose his mind completely. The fight ends with Dooku killing his brother.

Sadly the beast goes insane and Dooku is reluctantly forced to kill it to save Kostana, Sifo and Jenza.

D: “I never ment to hurt you. Not like the others. Never ment to bend you to my will. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

Here the author has me perplexed. He describes Dooku striking down the beast with his “golden blade”. Since when does Dooku have a golden kyber? It makes no sense, but again, it’s Disney...

After the battle, they discover this new, rare and, therefore, expensive ore called Zaccanium and now the Repubblic is interested in helping. This makes Dooku livid, keeping in line with his character and his contempt for the corruption of the Republic.

Yoda: “More than a name, the Jedi are. More than a title”.

Because of this Dooku decides to remain on Serenno as the new Count. Sealing his fate, as Sifo says “All the futures have become one. One path”.

D: “Please tell Rael and Qui-Gon... tell them the Force will be with them, always.”

This concludes the flashback section of the book and we return to the present, where Ventress finds the woman she was tasked to hunt down. 

She’s revealed to be Jenza, who wanted to go ask the Jedi to help her brother, for she fears he’s walking down a dark path, but was instead kindnapped by Republic agents and tortured for informations about the Separatists.  Dooku arrives she begs him to get help form the Council and to stop listening to the “hooded man”.

Meanwhile, Narec’s voice is still trying to convince Ventress to run away and gives her a vision of what awaits the former Jedi Master. As she’s trown back to reality, Dooku gives her an order, to which Narec tries again to convince Ventress to run away, in the last desperate attempt to keep her in the Light, but she doesn’t.  She obeys the Sith and Narec finally disapears. She made her choice.

-

Lore wise: it’s interesting. Through the course of the movies and animated series, we never really see or learn about Dooku as a character (his motivations, aspirations, bonds if he ever had any). the most we get is a hint of his affection for Qui-Gon in Episode II or, his almost panicked reaction at Sidious’s order to kill Ventress (you could also count the ROTS novelization by M. Stover, where he tries to convince Sidious not to kill Obi-Wan, because he sees him as a grandson).

I liked the concept that Dooku gained the Force lightning before becoming a Sith, because it kind of shows that although it’s associated with the Dark Side, it’s still part of the Force.

The biggest change this book makes (also “Master and Apprentice”) is probably to the timeline In the EU, Dooku and Qui-Gon were 10 years apart, making Qui-Gon in Episode I 60 yrs old and Dooku 70 (80 in Ep II). While now, in the Disney canon, Qui-Gon is 47 and Dooku is still 70. Not a big deal I guess, but it does raise the question: how does Qui-Gon have the rank of Master in TPM, if Obi-Wan is his only Padawan? Qui-Gon was 22 when Obi-Wan was born, so that leaves approximately a 13 years gap, in which they could squeeze in another Padawan.

At least it’s implied that Dooku still joined Sidious after Qui-Gon’s death, I was afraid they’d retcon that. I always liked that it was that loss that pushed him to the edge.

Voice acting: Orlagh Cassidy as Ventress is good, she sounds very similar to Nika Futterman. Morton’s Dooku grows on you after a while, although the not so pronounced british accent is quite distracting, but what can I say, there’s only one Chistopher Lee. Qui-Gon is... interesting. Like, I know he should be 13/14 when he’s first introduced, but he sounds way older (sometimes older that Dooku), but to his credit the slight irish accent is delightful. Also Jonathan Davis delivery and speech patterns mimic those of Liam Neeson pretty well. On the other hand I was not expecting Rael’s voice to sound like that! Nice.

So, in conclusion:

Jenza deserved better

Ventress deserved better

Dooku is a dick, like his father and brother before him

But in all seriousness, this is a very well acted audiobook, with an amazing soundtrack and an interesting story that sheds light on one of the most unexplored characters of the Prequel Trilogy.

———————

Rating: It’s a buy!

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(cw mom and abuse ment!!) i used to compulsively stress clean and it would help me calm down, but my mom used to include forcing me to clean things as part of her abuse and some other related traumatic experiences. cleaning often gives me flashbacks now, but your blog is really safe and comforting and i feel like im able to kind of reclaim cleaning through cleancore as a whole! i just wanted to thank you for that and let you know that your blog means a lot to me!!

I'm happy to hear you're improving! I'm sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves that, but you have the power to reclaim your life and the things you enjoy doing and I'm proud of you every step of the way ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[35milimetross]

Cinco nuevas series que llegan en octubre

Ha llegado ese mes tan deseado en el que todas las series vuelve del parón a la televisión. Pero no vuelven solas,  sino acompañadas de novedades que llaman bastante la atención. Octubre trae cinco nuevas series que tienen pinta de llegar para quedarse y aquí vamos a hacer una breve introducción de ellas para que podamos conocerlas mejor y apuntarlas en el calendario.

THE GIFTED

El pasado dos de octubre se estrenó la nueva colaboración entre Marvel y Fox TV después de Legión. The Gifted trata sobre la vida de una familia aparentemente normal, hasta que sus mellizos muestran tener poderes propios de mutantes. Pero esto se complica ya que el gobierno decide crear una ley anti-mutantes, por la que la familia protagonista, los Strucker, tendrá que huir.

La serie promete muchísimo, sobretodo para todos aquellos enganchados al mundo Marvel que está tan en auge con series como Jessica Jones, Iron First, Daredevil,…

The Gifted (o Los Elegidos) llega a España el lunes 23 de octubre a las 23:05.

  SUBURRA

Nueva serie original italiana de Netflix centrada en un pueblo costero en Roma. Aquí reinan la mafia, los juegos ilegales, los políticos corruptos. Se sitúa años antes del suceso ocurrido en la capital italiana que cuenta la novela homónima de Carlo Bonini y Giancarlo De Cataldo.

Más que recomendada por su cruda historia y los grandes actores escogidos para vivirla.

Suburra se estrenó en Netflix el día 6 de octubre, por lo que ya está para disfrutar sus 10 episodios en VOSE o doblada al castellano.

  LIAR

Nuevo thriller de HBO, sobre las diferentes caras de cada persona. De los creadores de The Missing, aparece esta pareja formada por una magnífica profesora y un cirujano de renombre que se verán envueltos en un enredo de delitos sexuales. Profundizando sobre la verdad y la mentira de las relaciones.

Liar se estrenó en HBO España el 11 de septiembre, emitiendo los episodios semanalmente, pero al estar siendo tan comentada y con un misterio más que intrigante, no podíamos pasar esta recomendación por alto.

  VALOR

La serie se centra en la vida de dos pilotos de helicópteros del Ejército de los Estados Unidos, que sobrevivieron a una misión secreta en Somalia. Al ser los dos protagonistas los únicos supervivientes, siendo uno de ellos una de las primera mujeres piloto de esta unidad, mostrarán a los espectadores por medio de flashbacks lo que ocurrió de verdad en la misión. Poniendo en contra punto la lealtad del puesto y los deseos y sentimientos humanos.

Valor aún no ha encontrado un hueco en la televisión española, pero su primer episodio será emitido por The CW el 10 de octubre.

  MINDHUNTER

Y llegamos al último estreno de este mes de Octubre con una de las series más esperadas de esta temporada. La nueva serie de David Fincher (House of Card) sobre dos agentes del FBI y su investigación de la mente de los psicópatas. Inspirada en el libro “Mind Hunter: Inside FBI’s Elite Serial Crime Unit” sobre este estudio y lo que se podría lograr al adentrarse en la mente de los asesinos en serie de cara al futuro.

Mindhunter llegará a Netflix el 13 de octubre con sus 10 episodios de esta primera temporada, que podremos disfrutar en VOSE y doblaje al castellano.

La entrada Cinco nuevas series que llegan en octubre aparece primero en 35milimetros.

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É um pássaro? é um avião? Não,  são as séries com os heróis dos quadrinhos. DC ou Marvel..não importa. Essas séries trazem emoção para os telespectadores, relembram a infância e apresentam para um público novo esses personagens maravilhosos.

OBS: sem ordem de preferência ou qualidade.

1- The Flash

O homem mais rápido do mundo…ok, na série isso é bem relativo. Logo na primeira season , os vilões mais conhecidos já aparecem , o que diminuiu as possibilidades para outras temporadas, mas o roteiro é bem amarrado e o elenco está em sintonia.

Uma das coisas mais legais desse show é a homenagem à série anterior do herói que foi ao ar nos 1990. O ator que dava vida ao herói, John Wesley Shipp, agora é o pai de Barry , Amanda Pays que era o interesse romântico do herói agora é a dona de um laboratório concorrente do S.t.a.r.s Labs e Mark Hamill voltou como o trapaceiro ( mesmo ocupado com a volta da franquia Star Wars).

Canal: CW (EUA)/Warner (Brasil)

2-Arrow

“Você falhou com essa cidade!” , mas a série Arrow não falhou em apresentar a lenda do arqueiro e personagens até então menores no universo da DC. A versão de Olivier mais sério talvez não tenha convencido todos os fãs de HQs, mas o valor da série em estimular novas produções do gênero é inegável.

Depois de um período considerado como morto, o playboy volta a sua cidade para colocar a ordem agindo como vigilante. Primeiro com uma equipe pequena e atualmente com mais ajudantes.

A narrativa é intercalada com flashback de seu período fora da cidade. Muitos acham essas partes bem monótonas, mas são necessárias para explicar algo da história. Outra característica é o crossover com as outras séries de heróis da CW o que une todo o universo desses personagens.

Canal: CW (EUA)/Warner ( Brasil)

5- DC’s Legends of tomorrow

Mesmo não querendo ser chamado de heróis, eles estão em nossa Check List! A equipe formada por personagens secundários e vilões de outras séries da CW combatem o mal pelo tempo.

Na primeira temporada, liderados por Rip Hunter, eles enfrentam o poderoso Vandal Savage, apesar que no programa o vilão aparece bem menos poderoso que nas outras versões em quadrinhos e animações. Mesmo assim a série é bem divertida e com uma reconstituição de época digna para uma série de TV.

Além também mostrar personagens pouco conhecidos, como a Sociedade da justiça da América, as referências à Star Wars tocam fundo no coração da autora desse artigo.

Canal: CW (EUA)/ Warner ( Brasil)

  6- Supergirl

Ela veio de Krypton para cuidar do primo, mas acabou que ela chegou só depois em nosso planeta. O nosso Sol a tornou em SSSSSUPERGIRL…

A tímida Kara não parece ser a valente heroína, mas não se engane, ela é uma moça determinada que conseguiu a admiração até da durona ( e maravilhosa) chefe Cat.

Para mim, a inclusão do Caçador de Marte é um dos pontos altos da série. O poderoso marciano é pouco explorado no universo televisivo da DC e no programa ele é um dos protagonista. Um outro destaque é a irmã adotiva de Kara, Alex.

A série originalmente era da rede CBS, mas foi comprada pela CW onde aumentou a audiência e a qualidade de seus efeitos especiais.

Canal: CW (EUA) / Warner ( Brasil)

6- Os defensores

Sim, eu sei que ainda não começou, mas é a melhor forma de falar sobre as 4 séries da Netflix que mudaram a visão da Marvel na TV.

Tudo começou com Demolidor.  O advogado cego de Hell’s kitchen foi logo um sucesso de público e crítica com sua trama densa e sem pudor de mostrar violência gráfica. Um elenco em sintonia também foi fator para a qualidade do programa.

Os antagonistas Wilson Fisk e o Justiceiro ( que terá uma série própria) são a calda e a cereja do bolo.

A parte feminina dos protagonistas de defensores , Jessica Jones chegou entre a primeira e a segunda temporadas de Demolidor. Com uma trama mais “”arrastada” que a  de demolidor, acompanhamos uma mulher que passou por um grande trauma tentando se encontrar como detive particular.

Além de apresentar o personagem da próxima série desse núcleo, Luke Cage, o vilão Kilgrave mostrava a fragilidade da mente humana e Trish ( a futura heroína Hellcat) mostrava como uma amizade pode superar qualquer truque mental.

E com um olhar sério ( e sexy) chega Luke Cage. Essa série teve menos apelo que as outras anteriores, apesar de uma trama com mais destaque na máfia local e as pessoas de lá. Novamente o vilão se destacou: Boca de algodão.

Para finalizar a equipe dos defensores, temos Punho de ferro. A série lançada esse ano não agradou o público e a crítica, mas ainda tem alguns fãs. As principais reclamações foram a trama rasa, o mau uso da cultura oriental, a atuação do protagonista e as coreografias de lutas que ficam aquém do esperado.

Canal: Netflix

7- Smallville

Somebody saaaaaaave me!!!! Com uma icônica música de abertura, temos a única série de nossa lista que já foi finalizada.

Goste ou não do programa, algo é certo: ele foi o estimulante para as atuais séries de heróis. Além de mostrar mais do universo DC. Nela assistimos a construção do Superman: de estudante em Smallville ( ou Pequenopólis na tradução do SBT) até o jornalista em Metropolis. Ela durou  DEZ temporadas com muito sucesso entre o público.

Menções honrosas: Lois & Clark e Wonder Woman.

  E vocês? Concordam com a lista? Alguma outra sugestão? Fala que eu te escuto, na verdade leio os comentários…

Escrito por Luiza Novaes que concorda com David Bowie…Todos nós  podemos ser heróis também…

    Check List: Séries de Super heróis É um pássaro? é um avião? Não,  são as séries com os heróis dos quadrinhos. DC ou Marvel..não importa.