#still can't believe victim just Did That in that fic though. whats wrong with them... (affectionate AND derogatory)

[i3utterflyeffect]

anyway i read They're Sticks, Probably again and i think it irreversibly altered my brain and how i think about all the sticks

[chiefduckgarden]

Can't forget about you

Summary: You wake up in a hospital room knowing nothing about yourself. No name, no age, no family. You can't remember anything. Except for one thing. One person. Her.

A/N: Sooo I decided to keep this story going. In case anyone remember this fic, thanks. If you want to be add to the taglist let me know! :)

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Chapter 5

Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

- That's all I know about her. I don't have any more information about her life - Wanda said. The entire team was seated in the conference room. At the end of the table, Wanda crossed her arms, wearing a cold expression.

The whole team looked at her with disbelief. They knew there was crucial information that Wanda wasn't sharing with them. Steve, the calmest member of the group, got up from his seat and began to walk towards the girl sitting there.

- Wanda… let's recap the information you provided: you met Y/N on a college campus whose name you can't remember, she doesn't have a home or family you know of, and you've never met any of her friends. But… somehow, she's the love of your life - Steve said.

- Yes, I love her more than anything - Wanda replied.

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. They wanted to be on Wanda's side, but she wasn't cooperating at all. That's when Tony got up from his seat with an exasperated sigh and stood next to the redhead's chair.

- Maximoff, this is ridiculous. We've already fulfilled our end of the deal and let you see the girl. Why don't you want to cooperate? - The man took off his glasses, faced with Wanda's expressionless gaze - We just want to help you, but we can't if you're not a hundred percent honest with us.

The girl let out an ironic sigh.

- Sure, you want to help me… just like you helped me in the cabin? - Her voice grew harder - You're partly to blame for her not remembering me, if only...

- We did what we believed was right; we did our job. Besides, if I recall correctly, you were just as much to blame as we were, so don't come here playing the victim," he replied.

Wanda stood up angrily to face Stark. It was then that both Steve and Natasha stood up to be prepared and try to defuse the situation.

- Okay, why don't we all calm down? - The Captain intervened between them, moving Wanda away from Tony - Wanda, we're your team, we're on your side. The cabin accident was just that, an accident. Y/N is fine, and despite her memory issue, she's healthy. If you truly love her and want us to defend her against Strange, you need to tell us the whole truth.

- We let you see Y/N even though Strange asked us to keep them apart. And you'll still be able to see her, Wanda. We're putting our trust in you. You can trust us - Natasha said.

Wanda looked at them - I've already told you everything I know. I met her on a campus I visited for its extensive library; she works in the field of physics. I don't know much about her family because I believe she doesn't get along with them, and I never asked further because I didn't want to pressure her into sharing something that hurt her. I don't know why Strange is against us, but I know she doesn't deserve any of this. We love each other and wanted to live together. What's wrong with that?

After that, the girl left the room, leaving the entire team in silence.

- What do we do now? Maximoff refuses to cooperate, and Strange is going to demand answers tomorrow… - Tony said, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt.

- She's scared, Tony. She doesn't want to lose Y/N, and we basically tried to separate them the last time, and honestly, I don't understand why. Strange only asked us to keep them apart and didn't give us any explanations. Now Y/N's amnesia has become a problem, but I don't understand why it was necessary to keep them apart before -Natasha spoke.

- Strange said there was something peculiar in Y/N's essence, something that didn't add up. In his magical abode, he sensed a threat, something that could potentially be dangerous. Besides, all the mystery surrounding her and Wanda makes the suspicions sound more plausible - Tony explained.

- Well, even though we don't have the name of the campus Wanda visited, I can still make a few calls to colleagues at nearby universities and inquire about Y/N - Bruce added - I'll also keep Y/N monitored throughout the night to see if there's any increased neural activity in her memory during her dreams - The doctor got up to leave.

Everyone murmured a thank you, and the room was left empty.

The next day, a gentle knock on your door woke you up. Slowly, you approached the door, and as you turned the handle, a smiling Wanda greeted you with a smile.

- Good morning, sleepyhead… Did you sleep well? - Wanda asked.

Her energy was contagious, so you couldn't help but smile immediately - Good morning, Wanda. I did have a good rest, thank you for asking - you replied.

- I'm glad to hear that - she stared at you for a few seconds - You look really cute just waking up... - she smiled at you and you flushed - Oh didn't want to... i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable.

- It's okay, Wanda, it doesn't bother me - you said with a smile - Come on in, you won't stay in the hallway forever. The girl smiled, and both of you entered the room.

- Today, we have to go to your rehab session. Plus, I know you don't like it, but today you have to see Strange; he'll come to assess you - Wanda told you.

Your face showed your displeasure at the thought of Strange's visit - Will you be with me today? - you asked.

- Yeah, all day, except when Strange arrives. He can't know that I've been close to you, but apart from that, we'll be together all day, starting now with a breakfast that I'll prepare for you as soon as you take a shower - Wanda said.

You smiled at the prospect of spending time with her. You couldn't wait to learn more about her relationship - I better hurry then, I'm starving, and that breakfast sounds excellent - you said.

- Hurry up, I'll be here waiting - Wanda looked around and added - While you shower, I'll help you make the bed so we can go straight down for breakfast.

You nodded and turned around. But before heading to the bathroom, you looked at her once more and, with a blush on your face, you spoke - Wanda… um…

- Tell me, do you need something? - she asked.

- I was just wondering… um… if I could give you… if you'd allow me to give you a kiss, like last night… - You closed your eyes out of embarrassment, but you heard the sweet sound of her laughter, and you felt a pair of hands cupping your face. Her mouth moved closer to yours, and her soft lips met yours. You immediately responded to the kiss, caressing her face as she lowered her hands to your waist.

Once they broke the kiss, Wanda pressed her forehead against yours and whispered - You don't have to ask, I'm yours, Y/N…

You smiled and quickly took a shower so as not to keep Wanda waiting. The breakfast she prepared was delicious, and as you ate, she told you more stories about the two of you. Everything felt like a dream; your heart felt happy and at ease. Maybe you didn't remember much of the anecdotes Wanda shared, but your mind felt at peace; she conveyed peace to you. There was no doubt that you loved her.

When the time for your rehabilitation session arrived, both of you headed to the medical area to meet with Bruce.

- Hey Y/N, good to see you today. How was your first night here? - Dr. Banner greeted you as soon as you entered the room.

- It was fine, thank you. Everything went smoothly - you replied politely.

- I'm glad to hear that. Today, we'll be following the same therapy you had at the hospital, and we'll also try to stimulate your mind with exercises to see what we can discover today… - a woman in a lab coat entered the room, waving her hand - She's Dr. Helen Cho; she'll be joining us today.

You greeted her politely, and the session began. First, they conducted physical tests. You managed to pass the simpler ones without any issues, but some coordination tests proved to be more challenging.

One hand up, left foot down, right hand up, and then switch to the other hand with the opposite foot up. Your brain struggled to process so many instructions at once. Gradually, you began to feel overwhelmed.

- Okay, Y/N, take a break while we assess the initial data you provided - Bruce said, and your breathing returned to normal at his instruction.

Wanda, who was in the room with Bruce, listened to what the doctor was telling her.

- She clearly has coordination issues, but that's normal in patients who have experienced head trauma. With more sessions, she'll return to normal. She walks well, hears and sees correctly, and has no problem recognizing shapes, colors, sounds, or scents. Physical coordination therapy is the only thing left, of course, besides her memory problem. But apart from that, and speaking solely about her physical health, everything is fine, Wanda - Bruce explained.

Wanda smiled - Thank you very much, Bruce. It's great to hear that.

Bruce smiled slightly before speaking again - Now I need to take her to the control room to continue the research on her. You know that Strange will be there, and you can't…

- I know - Wanda interrupted him - Just let me say goodbye to her, and I'll let you take her with you. But before that… Do you know what kind of tests they'll be conducting on her today? - she asked.

- I actually don't know - Bruce said - Perhaps some recognition tests, but I'm not sure what Strange will request.

Wanda nodded and left the room. When you saw her enter the room, you smiled.

- How do you feel? - she asked - You did a great job, Y/N. Bruce says you're completely healthy.

- I'm fine, I guess - you let out a frustrated sigh - It's just the coordination that bothers me. I can't seem to do the tests well, and… aggh, I can't believe I can't do it.

- Hey, it's all right, sweetheart. You did a great job, some things will be more challenging, but that's why you're here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll be with you every step of the way… - She gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead to calm you - Now, you have to go do more tests with Bruce and the rest of the team, and of course, Strange. But as soon as you're done, and I can see you, we'll go have lunch, okay?

You nodded and said your goodbyes to her. Minutes later, you were in the same control room as the day before, with everyone present except for Strange.

- Today, we'll show you some images we've selected. They are photographs of everyday objects and places. You just have to tell us the first thing that comes to your mind when you see them - Steve explained.

- If you don't have an answer right away, you can take your time. There's no rush to give a quick response - Nat added - After this, we'll see if Strange shows up for more tests, but if he doesn't, that'll be it for today until he comes with more answers about what might be happening to you.

They placed the same cap with wires on your head as yesterday, and the photos began to appear in front of you.

The first photo showed a house. It looked like it was from an animated movie but was very cute and simple - Story - you responded.

The next one showed a city; it was daytime, and there were hundreds of buildings - New York - you replied.

The next one was a couple hugging. Your response was quick and obvious - Wanda - you said promptly.

Several more photos followed, and your responses were either obvious or literal descriptions of the images displayed. In the control room, they tried to encourage you to think more about your answers, but your brain seemed unable to connect anything to something or someone specific.

After a few more attempts without accurate responses, they told you they would stop for a few minutes to discuss your answers.

- There's nothing, we have nothing - Tony said - It seems like the only thing familiar to her is Wanda. It doesn't make sense; this girl must have had a life before meeting Wanda… I don't understand.

- My colleagues at nearby universities responded this morning - Bruce spoke up - No one has anyone named Y/N Y/LN on their roster. If Wanda met this girl, it must have been at a somewhat distant university, which also doesn't make sense…

Everyone fell silent for a few moments.

- Did Strange say if he was coming? - Steve asked.

- No, he said he would visit someone who might help and that he wouldn't be coming - Nat replied - If we're not going to do more tests, we should let Y/N go.

- Let me try one more thing - Bruce requested - If this doesn't work, we'll let her go for today.

Everyone agreed, and Bruce spoke to you through the microphone.

- Y/N, Wanda told us that you used to work in the physics department of a university. Can you tell me if you remember anything about your old job? - Bruce asked.

- I can't remember anything about it - you said honestly - Maybe Wanda…

- No, Wanda can't help us for now. Maybe you can remember something on your own… Think about the words 'physics,' 'job,' 'university.' What do they sound like to you? - Bruce prompted.

You took your time to think. - 'Physics' sounds like science - you replied - 'Job'… is money, and also… happy? - You pondered the last word a bit more. You closed your eyes and imagined a university - University is a building; it's brick-colored and has two towers, and there's an emblem - You continued to imagine - In my mind, it's a lion with a torch - you laughed at your response - The colors are yellow and brown, and it's very cold.

Everyone was deep in thought. Perhaps you needed to use your imagination more instead of relying on preconceived images.

- What else is there at that university, Y/N? - Bruce encouraged you to continue describing.

You continued to imagine - There are many trees, there are laboratories, and… one has my name - in your mind, there were many people, but you couldn't put names to the faces - There are many students, and my lab always smells like coffee. There's also a library and a large auditorium - You saw it in the first person, as if you were living it yourself - I have a colleague, with brown hair.

Suddenly, a voice, your own voice, resonates in your head: "Matt," you say, laughing.

Your head hurts, the readings of your brain activity spike and become confusing, and you feel the need to remove the cables from your skull. In the control room, Nat rushes to help you and asks Friday to call Wanda immediately.

But you can't stop thinking about what your voice said, and you say it out loud - Matt… my colleague's name is Matt, I remember - Everyone is left stunned and not knowing what to say; they had definitely made progress.

The silence is almost immediately broken when Wanda enters through the door and approaches you.

- What happened? - she asked, concerned - Are you okay, sweetheart? - She took your face in her hands, and you nodded as you hugged her. But she didn't calm down and turned towards the camera, knowing it was watching from the control room - Enough is enough, it's over for today. I won't allow you to hurt her - she said angrily before taking your hand and leading you out of the control room.

Once in your room, Wanda gives you the pills that the doctor prescribed for your headaches and prepares you some tea.

- What happened in there, honey? - she asked - Why did they hurt you?

You shook your head and explained - No, they were conducting a test, but something different happened this time - Your voice sounded excited - I remembered something, Wanda. I remembered the university where I used to work, and I remembered someone… maybe you knew him. His name is Matt.

Wanda came to a sudden stop for a few seconds. This shouldn't be happening. You weren't supposed to remember…

- No - she finally spoke - I don't know him, but you mentioned him once. Maybe he worked with you, but I never met him personally.

You wanted to continue talking about the topic, but Wanda interrupted, saying she had bought food for both of you, and you headed to the dining area. You noticed a change in Wanda; she seemed more serious, but you interpreted it as her concern over your crisis during the test.

Meanwhile, in the control room, the rest of the team was discussing what had happened minutes earlier.

- There's no university with that logo, at least not in the United States. We'd have to investigate in other countries, but then Wanda's story about how they met wouldn't make sense - Bruce said - The only good thing we got out of it was the name. If we find the university with a lion and torch logo and ask about Matt from the physics department, we'll get more answers.

- All right, Avengers, we have work to do - Clint said, getting up - I'll try to talk to Wanda to get more information, and I'll let you know right away. In the meantime, try to contact Strange to find out where the hell he is.

The archer left the room, and the others followed suit. They had an extensive search to conduct, and they knew it wouldn't be easy.

Clint arrived in the dining area and found you washing a glass at the sink, but there was no sign of Wanda.

- Hey, where's Wanda? I thought she'd be with you - he asked.

- Oh, she was here, but she had to leave in a hurry. She didn't tell me where she was going, but she left quickly. She said we'd see each other later - you explained.

Clint furrowed his brow. Wanda used to disappear from time to time, but he didn't think she would continue to do so with you in the compound.

But he didn't have much time to think because a loud voice echoed throughout the place.

- Heyyy! Where is everyone? This place looks like a graveyard - Thor's cheerful voice announced his arrival after being away in space for months.

The other Avengers arrived at the scene. No one anticipated that Thor didn't know who you were, let alone that you didn't know the people there had powers.

But that changed in a matter of minutes because after a few quick greetings, the god of thunder noticed that he wasn't carrying his precious hammer with him. However, there was no major issue because he simply raised his arm, and Mjölnir came to him.

That's when you let out a scream of surprise, and the others in the room reacted. Your face reflected astonishment, doubt, and even fear. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind at that moment, but you couldn't articulate a coherent response.

- What? What the hell was that? … It looked like… how did he… and the hammer… -You wanted to ask a thousand questions, but you couldn't form a single coherent sentence.

- Y/N, calm down. We'll explain, but we need you to calm down - Natasha told you, directing you to a chair - Take a seat and breathe.

Thor, confused, addressed you - Hey, are you new here? I am Thor, the God of Thunder - he introduced himself friendly while making his eyes glow to give you a small demonstration of his powers. However, that only made you scream.

The others scolded Thor and helped you calm down. It would be a long night trying to explain to you that most of the people there had powers, including your girlfriend.

-----------------

Wanda arrived at the cabin in the middle of the forest, making sure no one had followed her. But her powers told her that something was amiss. Before knocking on the door, she used her powers to see what was happening inside. She closed her eyes and could see that Strange was there. Quickly, she cast an enchantment to go unnoticed and hid among the trees, waiting for the sorcerer to come out.

After a few minutes, Strange came out and opened a portal in front of the cabin. The woman behind him looked exhausted but had a determined look in her eyes, clearly at odds with the man.

- This won't be the last time you hear from me, witch. What you and Wanda are doing is wrong. I don't care if you enjoy dabbling in dark magic in your free time, but Y/N is innocent, and I will do everything in my power to send her home, even if it means breaking the rules of my own magic - Strange declared with determination, then disappearing through the portal after that.

Wanda's eyes turned red with anger as she heard his statements. No one would ever separate you from her, not even Strange.

The woman turned towards where Wanda was hiding and said, - You can come out now. We need to talk, Wanda.

Wanda dispelled the spell on her to allow the witch in front of her to see her.

- We have a problem, Agatha. She's remembering… that's not supposed to happen - Wanda spoke to her mentor as they entered the cabin. - Also, why was Strange here? What did he want?

- He suspects, Wanda. We're running out of time before he figures it out and takes your beloved - Agatha told her. - We need to act immediately if you want to keep her... In the meantime, I'll give you a spell to continue blocking her memories... after all, she told you she wanted to be with you...

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Taglist: @alwaysgoodnight // @simp-erformarvelwomen // @pyrorazor7 // @jadechasesworld // @justarandomhumanhere // @wandaromamoff69 // @fabgronsky // @originallovementality // @gay-fandom-menace // @lonewalker17 // @reggierizzoli // @chansuung // @agathaharkness-simp // @mrscromanoff // @helladumbsstuff // @wandsmxmff // @itsmekalou // @lightsoutnow-blog1 // @just-trying-to-enjoy-my-life // @trikruismybitch // @honeyurfamiliar // @cd-4848 // @la-vie-en-astrology // @jlr22universe

[somerandomcryptid]

In your Crypt AU what happened to Drista and Dream after Sam gone missing?

Especially since even Dream gone missing (if I read correctly)

*giggles evilly* well this will be a fun one.

Also major spoiler warning as well as warning for copious amounts of murder. Like so much murder only 5 people who are involved in XD's whole backstory get to live. and only one of them is an obviously major character.

Honestly I'm not sure what I what I shouldn't spoil but I guess this au isn't getting a fic anytime soon sooo tis fine :) I wanna talk about it anyway.

First of all Dream did in fact go missing! You read that right!

But I'll leave that situation for last since your asking about what happened to them in general c:

For some context Dream was almost 15 when Sam got murdered(and everyone knows that he is in fact dead, his body was very much there), Drista was not even a year old.

This drives a... conderable wedge between him and XD. Because Dream isn't stupid. And frankly, XD's isn't trying to seem all that aggrieved, just towards the cops and his acquaintances. This is also what sort of tips off Callahan(who is a whole nother can of worms ksjskshskjs).

Basically Dream kinda knows XD did it. But also doesn't want to believe it and can't prove it. He would have run away, but he had a baby sister to take care of, and he wasn't going to just.. leave Drista behind.

He thinks about it more after he turns 16. His close friend Foolish even offering that his dad would take him and Dris in in a heartbeat. And Dream already has a good relationship with Puffy anyway.

But uhhhhh XD likes Foolish, he really does, he does not in fact like him enough to allow him to steal his son. Safe to say Foolish pops up a few days later in less then alive pieces :)

Puffy moves away fast enough that XD doesn't think she'll be a problem.

Anyway. This does not strengthen Dream and XD's relationship in the slightest. It only keeps him there for two more years before he goes to college.

He hates leaving Drista alone, but so far XD hasn't been violent towards him or her, and he just.. needs to be out. He absolutely visits all the time though, just to check that Drista is ok and doing well.

and he actually gets a good support network at college! He meets George and Sapnap, and even the man he decides he wants to spend his life with, Fundy :).

They don't end up being able to get married. Because uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well Fundy is kinda his own can of worms but the short version is that Fundy has some... Personal beef with XD let's say. And XD doesn't do well with a gun pressed to his head. Safe to say Fundy's body is never found and was probably fed to the gators.

At this point Dream is pretty sure that XD has killed, his dad, one of his best friends, and his fiance. (Oh actually also Punz, who was a close online friend that I couldn't fit in neatly) Somehow it takes him a year to try and kill him.

It doesn't go well, to say the least.

XD at least feels bad about this one of though. Like sure, Dream tried to kill him and has been making it his mission to be (in XD's perspective) an annoying little shit about everything. But that's still his baby boy. That's his kid. And he sort of did it in a rage, he didn't mean to. Dream was just so wrong about all these people. But he still regrets it so much.

Dream's the only one of his victims to get a proper burial.

He can't bear to report him dead though. Just missing. Forever missing.

Now on the Drista side of things :D

She has a pretty normal first 8 years of her life honestly beyond the absolute tension between her older brother and her dad.

Like sure sone people just. Go missing. But she doesn't have enough of a sense of object permanence to really think they're dead.

The only one she really processes that for is Sam, even though she doesn't remember him, Dream makes sure she knows about their dad. Telling her stories and going through his old coding files to teach her about his work. She's pretty good at coding for an 8 year old!

But it's on one of these visits from her brother that stuff completely changes for her. Because she doesn't like. See Dream's death. But she hears it.

The next 2 years are rough. She absolutely hates XD for his actions, and she tries to run away a lot. She always gets dragged back and XD shows disgusting slivers of humanity. He cries every time she runs away, he never starts mad. Just so so terrified.

Then he angry once she's back inside and he's held her for a while. He never hurts her though. Not physically at least, and he doesn't shout either. He still treats her like glass even when he's mad at her and even when she's scratching and biting and kicking and squirming.

No matter how many times she's brought back though, she doesn't stop trying. And one time, she just manages to do it.

Now where she is and what she's doing I'm not actually going to say, but she is most definitely alive. XD thinks she's dead though, he doesn't really see how she could have survived out there and yet he or the police couldn't find her.

She's alive and .... Well I can't really say she's well but she isn't homeless. And that's all I'll say on the matter.

Sorry if this was too long lol I just have a lot of thoughts for this au.

And uhhh just going to put the @calamari-minecraft-corner here :D (for context Cala asked me to @ them in posts about this au so that's why it's always somewhere)

[softguarnere]

hi dove! i can't believe i've never requested anything on your blog! could you possibly write a enemies to lovers - lewis nixon x reader? maybe where feelings are discovered after one of them gets hurt/captured/something like that! you know i'm a sucker for angst with tons of fluff! thanks for being awesome!

mads <3

Coming Clean

Lewis Nixon x reader

A/N: omg hi Mads! Thank you so much for the request 🤗 I love your work (especially the way you write Nix) so I really hope you enjoy this! I edited and wrote the last half of this fic while sick, so if this is totally incoherent, that's why - and I'll just have to do my best to fix it when I'm better😆 (As always this is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) 💕🕊️ Warnings: language, mentions of war

“I am not being overdramatic,” Nixon insists in what can only fairly be described as a rather theatrical tone. 

Dick only glances up from across the table, an eyebrow quirked as he studies his friend. He nods slightly. Thank you for proving my point, the gesture seems to say.

“Nix,” he says, his tone serious, even though he opts for his friend’s nickname instead of a more reprimanding Lewis. “I don’t think comparing anyone to Sobel is fair.”

Nixon drops his fork and holds his hands up in surrender. “Whoa, okay. All I said was that if she wanted to, (Y/N) could give him a run for his money. That’s all.”

“They’re nothing alike,” Dick deadpans.

Nothing alike? A bit nondramatic, in Nixon’s opinion. An understatement for sure. He starts to protest, but Dick cuts him off.

“I think the two of you just got off on the wrong foot.”

Scoffing, Nixon leans back in his chair. “Well, I wouldn’t call overhearing someone explicitly talking about how they think you’re unqualified for your job getting off on the wrong foot. But close enough, I guess.”

“That’s not what I said.”

The voice is enough to startle both Nixon and Winters – although the ginger presses his lips together in a way that suggests he’s only just managing to repress a smile as he takes in your arrival on the scene. Nixon, on the other hand, has to forcibly close his mouth to stop from gaping at your sudden presence.

“What I said,” you continue. “was that I wasn’t sure how well a Yale man would hold his ground amongst the other officers.”

A frown tugs at the corners of Nixon’s mouth. For once, he’s grateful that part of his upbringing included lessons in how to conceal one’s true emotions lest someone gain the upper hand by using them against him. He presses his lips into a thin line and steels himself.

“Remind me where you studied again, Lieutenant?”

Your face pales. Bingo! You may have had him there for a second, but he’s struck a nerve.

“It was just a joke,” you say, your voice quiet.

Nixon only shrugs before turning back to Dick. There are footsteps as you walk away, but he doesn’t turn to see you go. Instead, he tries to concentrate on his tray of food. Tries being the operative word, since Dick seems intent on staring at him with that look of utter disappointment on his face that could make a saint feel guilty.

“What?” He stabs some broccoli with his fork, not looking up.

Dick sighs. “It was a joke, Nix.”

The potatoes on the corner of his tray are his next victim. Unseasoned and questionably cooked as they are, Nixon still puts all his focus into getting them firmly on his fork.

“Why does it bother you so much?”

Now he looks up. “Huh?”

“The joke,” Dick clarifies. “Why did it bother you so much?”

It’s not so much that the jab at his alma mater bothers him. It’s just . . . Huh. Why does it bother him? The way it’s said, perhaps, or the people it was said in front of. After all, it was one of the first things that you said upon Nixon’s arrival after his promotion. Not a good look for a newcomer in such a prestigious position. If he wanted people to poke fun at him despite his achievements, he could have just stayed home.

Sure, that’s probably it, he tells himself. You’ve just hit a nerve. No need to psychoanalyze this whole thing.

To Dick’s question, he only shrugs.

His friend, thankfully, does not press the issue.

. . .

Lewis Nixon, you’re beginning to realize, does not forgive and forget.

Well, that’s too bad, because all the other officers seem to think that he’s funny and charming. And they’re right. But clearly those qualities are not on display whenever you’re around. And you’re not about to ingratiate yourself to him by groveling for forgiveness over some stupid offhanded joke.

Too bad. Because you’re a big enough person to admit that despite his flaws, Lewis Nixon has his good qualities – not to mention that he’s handsome.

“Why are you staring at me?”

The sudden question draws you out of your thoughts. You blink, back in the present moment.

“Pardon?”

“You’re staring at me,” Nixon says. He doesn’t look up from the stack of mail that he’s censoring, intent on his work.

You avert your gaze, trying to ignore the heat you feel rushing to your cheeks. The words on the letter in front of you turn to nonsense the more you try to focus on them. If you work hard enough, you won’t be tempted to let your thoughts wander to the man sitting across the table from you.

“Here.” A letter lands on top of the one you’re reading as Nixon, once again, interrupts your thoughts. Startled, you look up to find him looking at you rather expectantly.

The letter he’s tossed to you looks familiar. It takes you a moment to realize that it’s written in your handwriting – a letter that you wrote to your family back in the states. When you glance up at him, he turns back to his own work.

“You spelled accommodate wrong. Thought you might want to fix it before sending it off to your family.”

Oh of course he would point out your mistake like that! Anyone else would have let it go. Your family will be so thrilled by the letter that they wouldn’t even give the misspelling a second thought.

The sigh that you push through your nose comes out louder than you expect it to. Nixon, however, doesn’t look up. Swallowing your pride, you aim for a tone that’s halfway pleasant.

“Thank you, Nixon.”

Is it your imagination, or does the corner of his mouth twitch slightly? A smirk, perhaps.

“You’re welcome, (Y/L/N).”

. . .

Though the world no longer trembles with the barrage of artillery fire, you keep your hands pressed firmly over your ears, staying low in the foxhole. Is it the cold causing you to shake, or the adrenaline that still courses through your veins?

You had been out making rounds when the shelling began, just trying to make sure that the rest of Easy Company was okay. The shellings are always unexpected, but this one caught you out in the open, exposed. You had had to dive into the nearest foxhole, hoping for the best as you hid from the explosions just outside.

Someone had grunted when you fell into the foxhole, your elbow connecting with their stomach. There had been no chance to apologize over the loud, cracking booms that filled the air.

After a shelling, there always seems to be a moment – a split second, really – of silence before it all goes to hell again. Then the calls for a medic will break out and everyone will jump into action, throwing around orders amid the screams and groans of the injured.

Now, as you wait for the few seconds of silence, you feel the person beneath you shift.

“Sorry,” you mutter, your arms shaking as you attempt to push yourself off of them.

“Christ,” a familiar voice grumbles. “My fucking ribs.”

Nixon’s voice is all the motivation that you need to push yourself the rest of the way off of him. Still full of adrenaline, you push yourself back on your heels, staying low in the foxhole, but ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

The Princeton man rubs his ribs. “You came out of nowhere. That really – “ He pauses, his expression shifting into one that you’ve never seen on him before as his brows furrow. Gently, he leans towards you. “Hey, (Y/N). Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine.”

“You look – “

Ka-BOOM!

The air splits in two as the second round starts. The shell must hit somewhere very near your foxhole, because the reverberations its impact sends through the ground cause you to topple forward, straight into Nixon.

Before you can even think about pushing yourself away from him again, something strange happens: you feel his arms wrap around you, drawing you in, close and tight, as the barrage continues. You bury your face in his shoulder.

When the second round ends, you both remain still, breathing heavily as you wait for whatever comes next. Only when it’s clear that the Germans are no longer firing do you pull away from each other. Neither of you looks the other in the eye.

“Sorry about your ribs.”

“Huh? Oh. They’re fine.”

Neither of you leaves the foxhole until absolutely necessary. And the next time that the Germans begin firing, when you somehow find yourself back in the same foxhole, neither of you seem to question how easily you wrap your arms around each other, bracing for the impacts and explosions.

The fog of war is a hell of a thing.

. . .

“Medic! We need a medic!”

The call is so unexpected that Nixon actually stops midsentence and turns his attention towards the panicked voice. Several others follow suit. After all, in the middle of Berchtesgaden, who would need a medic? It’s not like they’re in combat. And there’s nothing and no one around that should be putting anyone in danger.

Dick jumps into action immediately. Of course he does; he cares so deeply for his men – anyone can see that. It’s especially evident in this moment as he steps forward to intercept the panicked looking Talbert.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“(Y/L/N) needs a medic.”

Despite his wishes, Nixon feels his heart skip a beat at the mention of your name. It’s because of the startling and unusual news that Tab is delivering, he tells himself.

“For what?” he asks at the same time that Dick takes charge of the situation, charging down the street they’ve been standing on, yelling out that he needs to find Doc Roe.

As soldiers snap to attention trying to find the trusted medic, Nixon moves closer to Talbert.

“What happened to (Y/L/N)?”

Talbert takes a step back, his eyes wide, like he’s being confronted by a madman. Sure, Nixon’s tone was a little demanding – a little worried – but there’s really no need for the other man to look so shocked.

“A couple of us were out exploring the woods,” Tab explains. “She caught her ankle on a root and tripped. Might be just a sprain, but it looks pretty nasty.”

“Where is she now?”

“We got her back to the house that she was quartering in – Hey! Nix, where are you going?”

Talbert’s voice fades behind him as Nixon rushes down the street. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s vaguely aware of people stopping to stare at him as he passes, his pace a barely restrained run.

Several shocked faces look up at him when he bursts into the house. He stops in the doorway of the living room, staring into where you are.

You sit on the couch, one leg propped up beside you. Other than the swelling in your ankle, you look okay – if not a little surprised, that is, to see Nixon gaping at you like this. For what it’s worth, the few Easy men who are scattered throughout the living room look just as stunned.  

“(Y/N),” Nixon breathes. Coming back to himself, he clears his throat, willing his heart rate to slow down to normal levels.

“Um . . . I think we should – we should maybe clear out, yeah guys? Give (Y/N) some room to breathe,” Babe suggests.

Casting glances between you and Nixon, the other men squeeze past him in the doorway as they make their way out of the house. Behind him, the door closes, but Nixon doesn’t move. Somewhere within the house, through all the silence between the two of you, a clock chimes to signal the top of the hour.

“Can I help you?” You finally ask.

“We’re at the end of the war.” Nixon’s voice, once again, is louder than he intended it to be. He clears his throat again before pushing on. “We’re at the end of the war, and you somehow got hurt.”

“I tripped in the woods. So what?”

“So what? I was worried about you!” The words are out of his mouth before they have his permission to be spoken. They’ve escaped before he truly grasps the gravity of what he’s just said.

You quirk an eyebrow – a rather sarcastic expression that he’s come to know on you, but your voice is quiet when you ask, “You were worried about me?”

He was worried about you, he realizes suddenly. And he’s been worried about you for some time now, though he can’t place when his feelings towards you softened, when he started to care.

“Yeah,” he admits. “I want you to get home safely.”

“Why is that?”

His head spins. Maybe you should have been put in intelligence, the way that you’re pressuring him for answers while keeping a collected tone. It’s exasperating, honestly, how you’ve somehow gained the upper hand.

But part of him . . . likes the feeling it gives him when the two of you spar like this.

Something tugs at the corners of your mouth. It might be a smile you’re trying to suppress, or one of the smirks that he’s come to know so well.

“Nixon, I think you’re very bad at expressing your emotions.”

He blinks. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” With your propped leg taking up the space beside you on the couch, you instead gesture to the chair that sits nearby. Without knowing why, Nixon takes a seat. It’s a bit like waiting outside the principal’s office, the anticipation of it all. “But,” you continue. “it’s kind of cute to see you so flustered.”   

You’re messing with him, surely. Yet he can’t find any sort of witty comeback.

After a moment of staring at each other, you nod with the assurance of someone who has finally made up their mind and is resigned to their fate. “I think it’s time I finally came clean.”

“About?”

“I think you know. But just to watch you squirm, I’m going to start at the beginning.”

He’s heard you tell stories before. The two of you could be here for a long time.

But, he thinks as you start your narrative, he’s starting to realize that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Dearest Ange, the final episode is upon us.

I too was victim to the spoilers via leaks, and I was really, really praying it was just a bad fever dream. I've accepted that at this point I will continue watching for a love of the actors and the characters, rather than for a meaningful, coherent storyline. There are so, so many things wrong with this episode, much of which we've discussed over the course of season two;

The horrible, horrible way that Ryan Condal and Sara Hess dealt with the greens. My heart really went out to Aemond in this episode because despite the fact that he's so, so messy, and flawed, he's the only one left of his family who's actually trying to keep them alive, to protect them even though he's not going about it the wrong way.

The way the show dealt with the aftermath of events

The horrible character development of so many characters

The terrible pacing

The annoying inclusion of the whole ASOIAF from the main series- please, please, please stop reminding me it exists

Aemond trying to kill Aegon on purpose.

And so much more

And while I'll get to the (few) positives, as I always try to do, there is one thing that made me have to pause my tablet in pure agitation and just being fucking fed up, and that, dear Ange, is that scene with Alicent and Rhaenyra.

What. the. Fuck.

Alicent just sacrificed Aegon for her own freedom, after forcing Aegon to claim a throne he didn't even want? Why is Rhaenyra still bringing up a son for a son? Did Jaehaerys's death mean nothing? Alicent only cares about Helaena and Jaehaera, but what about her sons? Daeron? Aemond and Aegon, despite their flaws, they are her sons, her children- where is the Alicent in s1 who screamed at Aegon that if Rhaenyra became Queen, they will die? It's more than butchering her character, it's just utter bullshit. I remember in season 1 I was such an Alicent sympathiser, I felt like the complexity of her character would be so interesting to see in s2, but my god was it a shitshow. Alicent takes one solo camping trip and she's ready to offer up her sons on a platter so she can try and absolve herself? What about her father? Her brother? All of whom are fighting for her son's cause? They don't have the luxury that Alicent seems to, if the greens lose, they will lose their heads. No question.

My heart ached for Aemond when he tried to reach out to Helaena hat one last time- yes, she has every right to be angry, because she's lost so much because of Aemond's actions, and yet, the look on his face broke me. He's trying so hard to fight for their survival, and not one member of his family cares. I've ranted on a bit about the negatives, so here are my few positives-

Daemon and Rhaenyra reunion, seeing them together again

At this point, any Aemond or Helaena screentime is a blessing, no matter what Ryan Condal's trying to do.

Daeron sneak peak

Rhaena and Sheepstealer

Helaena is so fucking pretty <3

Sharako Lohar (I wanna be one of her wives, thanks)

Ngl after Aemond burned Sharp Point I was ready to let him take out some more frustrations on me, hehe

I wanna say Bloodraven, but....that's not what I expected him to look like

Anyway, Ange, I've enjoyed our little weekly tradition. I'm looking forward to how the show is going to inspire the fandom for the next two years. I'll try not to disappear into a void, I'm still gonna hide behind anon for a while longer, but maybe by the time s3 rolls around, I'll be able to come out from hiding. I've written my own fics, though admittedly I'm only somewhat proud of one of them, that I'm not finished uploading from ao3 to tumblr. I feel some inspiration to write again after some time of no inspiration, so perhaps if I'm granted any time, I can finally write again. As always, look forward to seeing your takes, Ange <3

-🦋 anon

Hello, my love! I can't believe that after eight weeks of doing this, this will be our final one (until season three, anyway) - I hope you won't be a stranger until then! I will wait patiently for your first fic to post.

Anyway, on to my thoughts...

A lot of people’s gripe with season two of House of the Dragon has been its deviation from Fire and Blood.

I do not mind that. They did it in season one. My issue is that there is no consistency between the characters as they were presented in season one and how they behave in season two.

Alicent that put herself between a dragon and her son, that replied “you imbecile” to his question of ��do you love me?” now offering up his head.

Aemond that toasted with his brother at the expense of his bastard nephews, and looked on in annoyance as Helaena danced with one of them, burning and torturing his brother and manhandling his sister.

This isn’t character development, it’s character assassination. Where is the family unit that closed ranks and defended one another when Viserys demanded to know which of them called Rhaenyra’s sons bastards?

The writers tore up the script for season one and said “actually, they all hate each other”. I don’t recognise these characters. They are trying to make the audience hate Aemond when he is the only one with any integrity, still fighting for his family’s cause.

And Daemon - Daemon’s defining quality has always been his ruthlessness, how cutting he is. They’ve softened him up to make Rhaenyra’s cause seem more sympathetic. Give me back the man that sat at the top table during a wedding feast and called Lord Royce an “old bronzed cunt”, the man who single-handedly took on the Crabfeeder’s army rather than accept help from his brother.

They’ve destroyed so much potential with the insistence on creating good guys. The whole appeal of the Dance is that everyone is shitty. We could have had that with the foundations that were laid in season one. I am so disappointed.

I'm annoyed that we didn't get to see Rhaena actually claim Sheepstealer, and when she does finally encounter him she reacts with wide eyed surprise? Girl, you're really shocked that you're seeing the creature that you've spent the last however long tracking and almost died of exposure for? That's like me looking around the supermarket for grapefruit and then screaming when I find it. That could have been way more badass, I'm not annoyed that they sacrificed Nettles' character for that.

What was the point of Aemond burning Sharp Point? Visually, it was stunning, but what purpose did it serve? Was that in place of him burning the Riverlands? We didn't even get to see him do it, just the aftermath!

Helaena telling Aemond how he dies, as well as Daemon seeing his own death were such dumb moves. Those deaths would have been epic for people who haven't read the book, and now they are spoiled. I am also now sceptical as to whether we will get Alysmond or not. It seems like they've stripped away the very foundation that made that pairing by making Helaena a seer and giving Daemon such a tight knit bond with Alys.

When I first read Fire and Blood I was very much Team Black. What brought me to neutral ground was watching season one and seeing how Team Green were fleshed out and made more complex. Season two has undone all of that. It feels almost like they are trying to turn the characters back to their book counterparts, but are making them into caricatures of themselves in the process.

They could never make me hate Aemond, and I think the only reason for that is Ewan's incredible performance of the character. He adds so much nuance to a personality that the writers are actively trying to destroy. I think if it were any other actor playing Aemond, I genuinely would not enjoy the character.

Anyway, so I'm not ending on a bum note, here's what I've enjoyed this season:

The acting - the cast have been absolutely phenomenal, every performance has been a joy to watch, despite the weak writing.

The lesbian fan service. I very much enjoyed the Rhaesaria kiss, though I am annoyed they never developed that any further. Sharako Lohar also - I know the character is a man in the book and making her a woman is very fan servicey, but I enjoyed her immensely.

Tyland Lannister. He has provided some much needed comic relief this season, whether it's being bullied by Aegon and Jaehaerys, terrorised by Aemond or mud wrestled by pirates, he's fun to watch.

Team Black - I was kind of "meh" towards characters like Baela and Jace in season one. I've grown to appreciate them so much more in season two, and I think that's because of the acting. Bethany and Harry have done an amazing job.

The dragons! I've enjoyed seeing them all, the designs for all of them are so interesting and I really like how different they all look. Caraxes will be my forever favourite, but Syrax has also stolen my heart this season, because of her cute little Boglin face.

I think that's it? My expectations for season three are low, so hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised. I will be knocking around in the meantime, writing fics as always! Lots of love to you xoxo

[windor-truffle]

many thoughts head full they're only tangentially graces related but idk where else to vent:

I feel like I should have/did already know this about myself but holy shit I (and many others) am an absolute slut for the redemption-style ship trope, the ol' "I know you and I love you and that's why I can't let you deviate into this darker place I'm stopping you I'm saving you I'm helping you I'm bringing you back." and now I'm gonna ramble abt it because aaaaaaaaaa

I swear I've loved this trope for a while now but I think analyzing graces in part heightened my awareness of it until it hit a breaking point (w an ace attorney video of all things) and I realized that *all* of my favorite ships are this way 😅 Richard and Asbel fit it of course they're like the prototype of the simplest yet effective way to enact this: a pure-hearted protagonist who believes in his friends until the end but is willing to stand against them vs the love interest coerced (and in this case also outright possessed) into very obviously morally wrong actions by the exacerbation of a flaw but ultimately saved when they can put aside their pain and embrace the help that comes with companionship and makes that pain bearable. Paragons that cling on to hope even if it makes them seem naive or causes them to get hurt sometimes along the way are SO sexy and when that hope is rewarded with what they wanted, the redemption of someone who others thought to be beyond salvation, I the audience am also bursting into tears I don't care if it's cliche it's SO GOOD 😭

You know which other popular ship does this? Not hard to figure out I already mentioned Ace Attorney but yeah Phoenix Wright changed his whole career just because he heard that the hero who once stood up for him when no one else would was now a ruthless prosecutor and he had to find the truth of what had happened to his beloved childhood friend Miles Edgeworth (I've made the Richass comparison before and there's even an AA AU fic for graces but I haven't read it yet 😔). The AA fandom eats this gay ship up but how can you not 💜 Edgeworth being stopped in his tracks by this incessant bluffing optimistic man who stood fast against his selfishness (paraphrasing something Edgeworth literally says in JFA 😅) until he starts to question himself (because of some "unnecessary feelings") and eventually actually believes in himself after years of feeling guilt over a crime he thought he committed and shame of letting down the beliefs his supposed victim instilled him (the same beliefs that Phoenix is determined to bring out in him again) and ultimately leaves to figure out what his goal as a prosecutor really is then returns for my all-time favorite case Farewell and Turnabout and now it's Edgeworth's turn to say "I've learned what I stand for and the lengths to which I'd go to maintain it because you set me on this journey, now it seems it's your turn to walk this same path of doubt and discovery but don't worry I'll be right beside you, I'll walk it with you so you don't have fear going as far astray as I once did." Like. ;_;

But holdup I'm not done naming ships 'cause Fluri also does this to an extent. Yuri has to call out Flynn when it becomes apparent his blind trust in his mentor has made him complacent in the very crimes he sought to fix from within, and Flynn retorts by condemning the methods that Yuri has resorted to, the "dirtying of his hands," though I'd argue though that Yuri's double homicide is actually not a deviation from his morality but rather an extreme fulfillment of it. But it's still delightful though the way they have to pull each other back from the pitfalls of their own brands of justice, ie. entrusting too much power in fallable governments vs. appointing yourself the power to decide who gets to live or die. And like the previously mentioned ship, this pair works the best when they combine their different approaches (everything about how they infiltrate Ragou's manor is brilliant) because that way they can keep each other in check. It's almost like finding the balance in enacting justice is the theme of these games or something 😅

Last ship I wanna mention isn't even in canon but I can't resist the opportunity to plug my own (unfinished 😓) sormik fic "Falling Awake" because this is DEFINITELY what I was going for, a Mikleo threading the line of morality out of both despair and desperation to see their dream fulfilled even if the cost is steep, and a Sorey who struggles to reconcile whether this fallen seraph before him really is his friend or whether he can even be saved. A Mikleo who places the decision of whether to cross that line fully in Sorey's hands, trusting him to make the right call even as he begs him to let him do this, and a Sorey who can't let down the dreams of their past by allowing this particular tainted method to be its fulfillment. Everytime I work on it I start weeping even though I'm the one who wrote it 😅

Before I wrap this up though I wanna shoutout some variations of this trope, because it can obviously go a lot of different ways. I know V's rather fond of the more twisted love version in which instead of trying to bring their loved one back from the brink they jump off together, a la Kresnik Bros Bad End Best End 😁 In some ways I almost think this trope is "purer" because rather than trying to restore their beloved to what they think they should be (morally good) they embrace them as they are (amoral but kinda sexy bc of it 😂). True love lets the world burn 💜

Also worth mentioning is the delicious variation wherein the fallen party really was bad from the start, such as being a mole for an evil group, but caught feelings along the way and started wanting to be the kind of person the other seemed to think they already were. Dramatic irony is my fave and there's so much angst you can tease as the character evolves from "haha I'm deceiving them can't wait to betray them" to "shit I'm actually so much happier here with them but our relationship is built on a lie and when it comes out that I am a villain I will be undone and have nowhere to turn except from whence I came but I no longer want to be there." I feel like there's a lot of instances of this trope but the one that came to my mind first was Shadowhand Essek from Critical Role, there's the excellent Shadowgast ship of course but I like that he has this dynamic with the whole party who have been nothing but kind to him and inspire him to want a better life despite what he's done and what he's still trapped in.

Anyway, if anyone read this far first of all thank you 💜💜💜 I really have just been stuck in fandom ramble analysis mode for the past few days it's kinda insufferable but at least tumblr blogs are a good outlet for it 😅 And secondly uhhh if any of my impassioned ship/trope descriptions remind you of a particular media/ship lmk (I feel like Soriku might fit this but I never got that far into the series). I can't say I'll get to anything right away but if it's got this kinda vibe that's like catnip to me I'll happily stash the recommendation away for a future obsession someday 😅

[silver-spider-art]

Also! Also! Why the heck to ppl end these unhealthy bingqius with set ups that leave them just utterly isolated? They've alienated all the rest of the Sect, LBH chases everyone else away from jealousy, but it's okay cuz SQQ is sooooo happy with his new life as a spoiled husband. T-T do ppl even realize how horrible that sort of life would really be? Like again, write it if it makes you happy, buy don't tag it happy ending. It's can be an unreliable narrator but if those are actually good the narration at some point will disagree with the character's POV. Will somehow state that the author doesn't believe what the character does. If the narration says this is great and everyone is happy, and the characters go yes we're happy, but the actual story depicted is one where one person sacrifices for another while the other just takes and further isolates them.... Yeah... Look I'm not a purity person. I'm not trying to yuck your yum. I just think you should be truthful about how you look at your ships. When you lust after fictional serial killers or genocidal tyrants in your fiction, please just, grain of salt. Don't act like it's goals or happy endings. T-T don't tag it happy ending when a character ends in an abusive manipulative relationship. If someone writes these messed up dynamics and actually acknowledges them as messed up and unhealthy i actually have ended up *enjoying* them. There is nothing wrong with messed up stories.

It's just, ugh, it's the bane of the Internet, because what I want is nuisance. It's the difference between (I wish I could come up with a perfect example rn but I can't) like Lolita vs any of the many stories with teenages love interests paired with adult men. Lolita is from the perspective of the groomer but it begins with a blurb telling the reader that he's on trial for crimes and trying to defend himself. The author made sure the reader knows that this is unreliable narration. Or a serial killer show that makes sure you understand that the killer is messed up and wrong while also letting you get invested in them vs one that excuses and justifies their behavior through the narration to the point people sympathize more with the killer than the victims. It's that sort of shit. I read a fic where after countless murders and tortures and destruction, including torturing SY himself, LBH was utterly forgiven and SY married him. Treated as oh, it's just water under the bridge, all that horror (worse torture and more deaths that SVSSS canon). Like could SY forgive it? He's a very unhealthy man, he actually might. My problem was all the other characters and the narration treating his choice as not just correct but overdue or expected. That any character that did decent was just doing it out of jealousy cuz they didn't get to fuck SQQ. That's the difference! When a character has complete justification to complain about the POV character's choices, the story should treat those complaints seriously even if the POV character doesn't. If for instance LQG or YQY complain about LBH but SQQ ignores it and then the story just goes on and everything is just fine and the complaints are forgotten about by the story, then the author is reinforcing that SQQ was correct to ignore them. That their complaints were worthless.

I just. Ugh. SVSSS is a master class of unreliable narrator. I like that about it though I wish even the story itself actually did more to reveal just how unreliable SY was. He was always lying to himself and us about everything. His emotions, his feels, his desires. Everything he did was through such a lense. It's actually rather fun, peeling back the layers, trying to see the truth under it, and asking what it would take to actually make a man like that be truthful to himself. You only get a few glimpses of that at the end of the story and even then SY is still pulling the wool over his eyes even when SQH is trying to make him face things.

Yet so many authors just want to lie SY told about himself to be real. The uncomplicated man who's just so kind and oblivious and just a little bun to be protected. I want the messy man with horrible flaws and self destructive tendencies who is too in his own head to realize the consequences of his actions. Who is both thoughtlessly passive and manipulatively kind. So caught up in the story that he died obsessing over that he still refuses to live his life.

I’m trying really hard not to be Peerless Cucumber so I’m ranting here rather than in the comments of the fic. But sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who hates SY being a overly kind suicidally self sacrificing idiot. Like everyone forgets he only nearly killed himself when it was faking his death or because he feared fates worse than death. That his obsession with LBH’s happiness above all was a sign of a deeply mentally disturbed man and not relationship goals. Like you can write unhealthy BingQiu. Knock yourself out, but please, for the love of god, don’t treat that behavior like its a happy ending or healthy. What the narration treats as good vs what the characters treat as good matter. It just annoys me so much. Part of what I like about SY is how much of a two faced mess of a hypocrite he is. He’s cruelly kind. Not some precious disney princess with only a sassy mouth. He had no regard for himself, living vicariously through his fav character, like many a chronically online youth. Its messed up and messy. A good ending for him is LQG and learning how to be a proper teach and take care of himself. That doesn’t mean I don’t like BingQiu, it can be so fun, but the canon end for them is messy and so many fan fics just make it worse. T-T I take comfort in the few who’ve done deep dives on SY vs SJ and where they are similar and different. Cuz they aren’t polar opposites.

[yonemurishiroku]

Hello! I just wanted to know your thoughts of how a role reversal between Nico and Bianca would go? How different would everything in the books be if Nico was the older brother sent on the quest, and Bianca was the younger sister? Would Bianca still join the Hunters? Would Nico be a doting brother or would he follow what the original Bianca did and try to live a little bit of his own life, trusting the camp to watch over Bianca? Would Nico still be a nerd over Mythomagic? Would the siblings both live and someone else becomes the victim of the prophecy? Or would Nico die?

Has anyone written a similar fic?

This is such an intriguing ask, I'm literally having a field day with this.

Let's start on the grounds of their reversed roles: Nico is the older sibling while Bianca is the little sister.

Now, provided that the original ten-year-old Nico is quite enthusiastic and lively, I'm gonna say that this older Nico would be half the same at the start, for the age change is actually just 3 years if I'm not wrong? A twelve-year-old can still be passionate about a card game and generally curious.

But again, he witnessed his mother's death and was most likely made aware of other terrible things surrounding his and his sister's lives. We know little about what Bianca knew in her short time of action, but she seemed cautious and wary enough for me to guess that if it was Nico who was the caring one, he would be skeptical all time and closed off when he needed to. Maybe he would start out as careful and alert at first, and then open up much more when he finds Percy and his friends trustworthy enough.

Would Nico be a doting brother----You can be damn sure he would. We all see how he treats Hazel. And he stood up to a Manticore because he speaks ill to his sister. You can't convince me he wouldn't be ridiculously protective of Bianca.

Sure, I suppose he'd want to live a life for himself too. However, Nico's enthusiasm before Bianca's death for all Mythomagic and Greek gods and such. Camp Half-blood would be literally his heaven. What this older Nico wishes for would be a demigod life safe in the Camp, learning about Gods etc... So no, I don't think he has any reason to leave.

Would Bianca still join the Hunters? Now, this is an interesting question. This is not confirmed but I suspect that Artemis promoted Bianca because she knew her lineage and was trying to prevent her from the prophecy - much like she is doing with Thalia. The invitation remains in place.

For Bianca's part, I suppose she'd be scared. She's just 10 years old, of course she'd be scared to join all the strangers in their weird cult or whatever. And if Nico's any like the original Bianca, this younger Bianca would most likely listen to and seeks advice from him. Then, if we take in Nico's role as one to look out for his younger sister, I don't think he would easily agree to let her leave his sight, joining a bunch of Huntresses to who knows where. Nico is protective of his sisters, I'm sure we could agree on that.

With that being said, I suppose the problem is just which outcome you prefer. Maybe Bianca still wants to live a life of her own. Maybe she can convince her brother. Maybe she fails and stays at Camp Half-Blood. Maybe she fails but joins anyway and it leaves Nico with a mess of questions, worries, guilt and regrets and a rift between them.

Assuming Bianca doesn't join the Hunters. Then there's a chance Nico's picked to be one of the questers, knowing him, I guess he wouldn't turn it down. Moving on to Heaphasteus' junkyard, let's just say I refuse to believe that Nico is reckless enough to pick up the Hades figure for himself despite the warning. He knows better than that. He might pick something else for Bianca and then dies, though. This is more plausible. Otherwise, we'll just have to pick someone else to play the devastating death in the prophecy, then.

Let's assume Bianca still joins the Hunters anyway, is picked by Zoe, and then leaves. Then things would go on pretty the same as canon, though Percy would need more to convince Nico to let him go instead. Bianca's death, a broken promise and Nico's outburst. What comes after is that perhaps Nico could be much colder, stronger and more vicious, for he knows more than ten-year-old Nico and is capable of far more. He'd hardly be manipulated that easily by Minos, the memories might come back sooner and he wouldn’t be tricked by Greryon (or whatever his name is). Percy would have to deal with so much worse than a mere angsty teen.

Nico would still try to summon his sister's ghost, that's for sure. But she doesn't have to tell him about their fatal flaws because he has already known. He resents Percy and blames himself at the same time. He fails to protect his sister, I don't think Nico can ever live peacefully with that thought.

A few other things, his relationship with Hades might change a little. Because now Nico is the older, more mature and supposedly more talented one, Hades wouldn't prefer he dies in place of Bianca, now would he? But her death creates a rift between them anyway. Maybe Hades lets it slip that "You failed to protect even your own sister!" Maybe they blame each other for her death. The guilts, regrets and sorrows. That's what grief does to you.

Nonetheless, they would soon work it out, I believe.

Regarding the matter of staying in Camp Half-blood, I personally entertain the idea that older Nico is much better at reading people as the result of those years surviving and protecting his sister after Maria’s death. Hence, he is able to see clearer people’s apprehension, how they are wary of him, distrust him and unconsciously or deliberately stay away from him. So in the end, Nico chooses to leave immediately after the Titan War, spare not an effort to befriend any campers.

With Percy, Nico’s crush might just reduce to a mere attraction, since in canon, it’s more like hero worship - and while they’re the same age and there’s a possibility Nico’s aware of his own powers, he wouldn’t be impressed that much. (Btw he’s still worrying for Bianca).

Nico would set things right with Percy sooner - just because he’s older and able to conceive things with less personal feelings than the younger canon. But he still leaves, so there’s that.

For the pleasure of your fanfic request, there’re two I have encountered that approach this idea. 

A Different di Angelo by DashingLuna: An AU where it was Nico who went on the quest and died. Percy has to deal with a resentful Bianca.

Death's Reason by Pey119: This is actually a Time Travel AU in which Nico travels back in time to prevent Gaea’s victory. Since Nico is sent back, he is older than Bianca, and, interestingly enough: Percy, too. It started out quite amazing, ngl. Although I had to leave after everything took a sudden turn that has something to do with their pasts and love curses and such, I’d still say it’s quite a thrilling ride. If you’re fine with the work tags, I suggest giving it a chance! 

This is everything I want to say, ig. Again, thank you for the lovely ask! Wish you a nice day/ evening!

[ashkazora]

God i agree so much, you can't go 2 steps in bnha ao3 tag without running into all might bashing like my man is kind he didn't deserve this shit especially because it's done to place Aizawa "stinky garbage teacher man" on a pedestal

DUDE i could go on a fucking rant about and y'know what? I will.

Apologies for the chunks of text thata re very ramble-y.

It seems like a lot of hatred of Yagi stems from two things: his words to Izuku in s1e1, and his bad teaching. For the latter, I think that's bullshit because in my interpretation, Yagi is not quirkist. People forget that he was fuckin quirkless himself, and sure, his generation wasn't as discriminatory but he presumably went through the same things as Izuku. And keep in mind, Yagi regards himself as helpless/useless without his quirk (see: the Vigilante Arc in the manga), as to him it's the only reason he could be a hero. Furthermore, even with the most powerful quirk, he still got his ass beat by AFO. So when a quirkless Izuku asks him if he can be a hero, it's not that he hates quirkless people, or that he is discriminatory, it's that Yagi own insecurities dictate that he himself couldn't be a hero without a quirk. Yagi is a victim of the system that discriminates against quirkless people, as well as a victim of his own trauma.

And with the former point, I see a lot of points that Yagi sucks because he's a bad teacher and didn't stop Izuku from breaking himself. Now, he's not an amazing teacher, but jfc characters can have flaws, and ultimately he's well meaning. But the sheer hypocrisy I see when people write Aizawa as this amazing teacher when he did fuck all for Izuku too. Aizawa let Izuku break himself and never helped, even though he threatened Izuku on the first day. (And speaking of the first day, there's no way Aizawa didn't rig the QAT. Izuku canonically can lift a whole ass fridge with Yagi on top with 100% quirkless, and is. comparatively fit. There's no way people like Hagakure, Jiro, Kaminari, Koda, etc. etc. would beat him in everything enough for him to be last place.) Furthermore, Aizawa had to know Izuku only just got his quirk (I believe that the thing that he doesn't check student files is completely fanon, but correct me if I'm wrong) and did nothing, but gets put on a pedestal! And that's hypocritical. Aizawa let Bakugo harass Izuku, didn't notice Mineta's harassment, didn't help Kaminari utilise his quirk to stop him from shocking himself, etc. etc. And I think that Aizawa is a product of a bystander society but y'all, how can he be put on a pedestal and Yagi bashed when he's a shit teacher too??

Also, if there was a quirkless person in the hero course, what's the chance Aizawa would have expelled them? Because tbh, there's probably a chance that he would.

Also, don't get me started on the people who think Yagi 'groomed' Izuku like wtf. If that's the case, then doesn't that mean Aizawa groomed Shinso? I could also talk a lot abt shinso because a lot of the stuff about him is completely fanon and everyone likes to woobify him, but that's an ask for another day. How people can bash Yagi, but have a Bakugo redemption, parental Aizawa, good friend Shinso, etc. is just, eh. Like I get it, but eh.

And honestly, to an extent I get it. People love found family. Hell, I'm a massive fan of Irondad, Dadmight, and so many other things like that. And to an extent Dadzawa isn't bad! But to bash Yagi to make Aizawa seem like a better person? Nah. They're both heavily flawed characters, and ignoring one's flaws and exacerbating the other's just feels hypocritical.

Honestly, at this point I can't really read any Dadzawa fics or Quirkless Izuku fics because of the rampant Yagi bashing. It's just, ugh. I can't wait until the Vigilante arc is animated, so that anime-onlys have to see that Yagi and Izuku's relationship is so much more that what they describe.

But hell, this is the MHA fandom. Critical analysis means fuck all here. But each to their own.

Ultimately, MHA is a flawed world, where everyone is a victim of societal bias and inherent discrimination. No one character is exempt from this. Not Yagi, not Aizawa, not anyone else. But everyone is allowed to have their own interpretation.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 3

Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read this

There are so many left out details here that I did on purpose for future explanation within the fic for the element of mystery I'm trying to brew . Hope you don't mind! Enjoy reading❤

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

1.7k words.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury and fighting.

*

Without thinking, I drove my fist towards the voice, regretting it the instant I recognized who it was.

Tai'chi.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found my fist encased in his hand. He seems unfazed by my reaction, seemingly expecting it.

“Oh shi— I’m so sorry!”

How the hell did he sneak up on me without making a sound??

“Feisty- I mean, I should be the one sorry, for startling you...And for following you. I just wanted to, make sure you were alright.”

I blinked. He was concerned?

He spoke up when I didn’t respond.

“So, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Just, disappointed.” I breathed in and sighed as he gently let go of my fist.

Oh, and his scent helps right now. He smells so...wonderful I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by disgusting odors my entire life. I swear I’ve inhaled appealing scents like lilac, sandalwood, cinnamon, even rain has its particular smell! But Tai'chi, he—he’s something else entirely.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else like, I don’t know, maybe getting lunch with some of your friends or in a classroom?” I asked. I wonder why he would even bother to be in my presence. Anyone should be creeped out by the way I spoke up earlier. I mean, who does that? Plus, I did throw a stranger down to the floor. But part of me knows he deserved that.

Definitely.

“Want to talk about it?” He ignored my question. Tai'chi was now sitting cross-legged beside me, the oak’s root in between us. His deep azure eyes studying, watching me carefully.

“What?”

“What you did back there, wasn’t something a plain, timid college girl would do.”

Wait. He knew I was pretending to be one?

“Yes, I knew.”

“You can read minds?!” I stammered out. He can read my mind this whole time?! Shit.

He held up for a second before a boisterous laugh broke out of him and echoed through the circling trees, scaring away some birds perched above. I don’t know if I should be offended or flustered by his guffaw. It was so, so deep and rich and —

What the hell Pearl? What if he's reading your mind??

Tai'chi faced me again, sighing once he calmed down.

“To answer your question, no, I can’t read minds. But like I stated before, your face gives it away. Or your brows since you’re wearing a mask, but I can imagine your expression.”

I let out an incomprehensible noise.

“How did you find out I was pretending to be…you know,” waving my hands around.

“The moment we made eye contact this morning when you entered. And the way you shifted your body at the last second to prevent yourself from plunging into the trash bin, I knew you were something more. Your eyes and your actions show your experience in combat. A skilled warrior would notice these little things right away.”

My jaw fell open, and I’m sure he knows. He left me speechless.

Should I tell him I am a trained martial artist and a weapon wielder?

But we just met like 5 hours ago!

He seems trustworthy. And he’s an orc, didn’t they have a code of honor or something?

My thoughts ran wild I swear Tai'chi could hear my mind, screaming.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wish to. And I must’ve sounded, creepy when I admitted I’ve been observing you. But before anything else, will you allow me to introduce myself, for real this time?”

“You mean your name isn’t Tai'chi?”

Letting out a chuckle, he replied, “I swear to you, my name is Tai'chi. What I mean is, I want you to know my full name. Do you understand what this implies, Pearl?”

I racked my brain for a moment, trying to recall what my parents said about orc traditions when my uncle, papa’s brother, married the orcess he fell in love with. Something about an orc’s real name being reserved only to those they’re close to?

“I guess so? But what exactly?”

“I want to become your friend.”

I couldn’t help the slight warmth creeping into my cheeks behind my mask. He can’t see it, can he? A friend, he says. A friend!

“Oh,” was all that came out. A pause and;

“Uh, I mean, I’d love to be your friend! I never had an actual friend before. I mean, have cousins, but we aren’t acquainted enough to consider myself their friend— I mean— uh, what should I do?” I blurted out a little rapidly.

He smiled. He actually smiled! Oh, damn, it was adorable!

Tai'chi was about to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and grimaced. I was confused by his sudden change of mood, along with his scent.

Then it struck me.

The two of us shot up when multiple smells filled the air, making my stomach clench.

We were followed, not just one but six individuals. One of them was the pretentious human from earlier.

My day can’t get any better. And is that a baseball bat? Great. Fucking great.

I swear. I’m cursed to find trouble anywhere I go.

“Hello, freaks.” The guy in the middle began. “Whatcha doin’ out here in the forest?”

The others began spreading out and surrounded us.

“Planning something nasty I bet.” A human to my right spat.

“You will pay for what you did to me, you bitch. Just so you know, my father is the dean of this university. No one will ever hear a word of what I did here and what we will do to you.

'Dean’s son, David Silverstone, assaulted by an insane student in the woods within campus grounds. His friends graciously helping him fight off the lunatic until she passed out and was carried to an isolation chamber for monitoring, later finding out about her severe psychological disorder.’ Now wouldn’t that be a hit in the papers!” The bastard and his companions cackled and snickered, some of them stealing glances between my legs and I felt my skin crawl.

Tai'chi growled lowly, silencing them for a brief moment. He was getting mad but held his ground.

“And you,” the human pointed, “you beast. It won’t be hard antagonizing you, people will no doubt believe you were the one who violated the schoolgirl and left her in the woods to die.”

This fucking—

I felt a hand on my shoulder just as I was about to start, gently gripping, in hopes of trying to calm me down. He knows they were baiting us on making the first move. He shook his head, and an idea popped up.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to make my voice as girly as possible, sounding so hilarious, like those overdressed, flashy high school girls with flowery perfume so strong I wrenched every time I get a whiff of it.

Provoking them would do.

“Oh, I’m so scared! Should I get on my knees and beg for mercy? Oh please, great and noble one, have mercy on my poor soul.” My voice laced with mockery and sadness, with my legs fake trembling and my arms flailing.

And did Tai'chi just snort?

“If you beg nicely, I will perhaps give you a chance to— ”

My sudden wheezing interrupted him and I laughed. Hard. I can’t believe he bought my terrible acting! I expected him to straight-up be offended rather than actually bite the false bait. He is dumber than I thought.

I was holding my middle by the time I was done. Tai'chi’s shoulders were moving slightly, probably chuckling and trying to hold back his amusement.

“Did you honestly take it seriously??? I can't— oh my God!” I choked out once more before I went on.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna bow to you, not even one degree of an angle, you foolish, idiotic, spoiled, bastardized son of a bitch.”

His face was turning red out of rage and oh! Wasn’t that a sight to behold?

“You brat!” Turning his head to the others, he yelled, “What are guys standing there for?! Get them!”

Good.

Perhaps they didn’t catch my hands slipping on my beloved crimson knuckle dusters out of the bag when I was laughing then, tugging down my hoodie’s sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t move.” I told the orc, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“But—”

“Just don’t.” I said with my voice firm. I will take them on my own. I can’t have him getting in trouble and people blaming him for being an orc. Imagine that. The ones who attacked him will be viewed as victims because they were up against him, an orc. Numerous humans will jump at the chance to throw dirt at their race, a single act of self-defense treated as a one-sided assault to humans, the thought of it being enough to somehow remove all of them from the city, but everyone knows it's not that simple. Dimwits.

I strode forward without earning his response, waiting for the first person to come at me.

I took my stance, although it was more of preparing half of my body since I was still hiding both of my hands.

They all seemed confused and hesitant, which was what I was going for. To me, and those with experience in hand-to-hand combat, this is one of the most basic stances, but fundamental, nonetheless. A simple form that can determine the outcome of a fight. With my right foot forward, left foot back, both firmly planted to the ground, and my dominant hand wearing my dusters. In their eyes, it was…wrong, foreign. Some may even say it’s an open vulnerability, showing how inexperienced the opponent is, but oh, it is the exact opposite.

I didn’t see Tai'chi’s expression, though. I was on alert and getting into my zone to peer at him, one motion that can put me in a compromising position. Did he notice my brass knuckles? Likely.

“Scared to hurt a little girl like me?” I enticed.

Finally, the one beside their alleged leader charged at me.

A typical amateur approach.

The guy, about two inches taller than me, threw a right punch, which was a huge mistake.

Predictable.

I smirked under my mask and dodged it not a second before it connected. Making him falter as I grabbed his arm and brought it down to my knee, dislodging his joints.

A high-pitched scream of pain broke out of him as he dropped down on the forest ground, gripping his bent-off arm, cursing, but refused to rise and fight me again.

I gave him one last glance before I looked back at the others.

“Who’s next?”

****************************************

Those human shits just can't leave them alone! Interrupting their supposed-to-be official introduction! There's more to the orc that meets the eye *wink* Who is he exactly? Why was he so... observant?

Part 4 is actually on its third revising— and I'm still trying to come up on HOW to phrase my next words to lead to part 5. I let me brain take a break from spewing senseless words for now so I'll probably post the next part of this later or tomorrow

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I'd appreciate it if you have some advice for me, or just point out some mistakes I made! Thank you

Ps. This is really not perfect formal writing if you're wondering. I just type away whatever comes into my mind, and then proofread it to the best I can. And I hope you don't mind me using a lot of spaces. It... sort of makes my mind clear and continue moving forward, and it helps me when I'm reading it again, mentally taking note that with every line between spaces there's a slight pause and again, read it clearly like you were the one thinking it. I don't know how to explain how my own brain works but I guess that's that?

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

[bloodyspade0000]

30-day knb challenge: Day 1- Favorite Male character

↳ Haizaki Shougo

I am not justifying Haizaki's behaviour. I think he needs a tall glass of respect woman juice and therapy. This is just meant to explain why he is my favourite character and help you better understand him as a character. Do not send hate or take my words out of context. You will be reported, deleted and cancelled. Thank you and enjoy. :)

My favourite character is Haizaki Shougo *dodges tomatoes* a lot of people in the fandom hate this guy for many reasons. It's kind of funny how many people hate him and the amount of hate he gets just for existing. Like bruh; he's sixteen, leave him alone. 😂

His whole existence is just sad. He was literally created to be hated.

Like straight up, Tadatoshi Fujimaki even admitted that he hated Haizaki. Haizaki's sole purpose of existing is to make the Generation of Miracles look better even though they’re just as problematic as he. No one is fucking perfect and is about time people woke the fuck up and realized it. Your faves are problematic move the fuck on.

Yes, the Miracles are redeemable but so is Haizaki. Yet, unlike the Miracles, he does not get redeemable. No, he disappears and is never seen again. Like bitch, what the fuck!? if you’re gonna introduce a character to only have them disappear for a long time and either have them show up again or just never mention them again. Wasting the potential they had to be a very good character or not having them redeem themselves while the other characters who were just as fucking problematic get a fucking redemption arc because they’re fucking main characters!? What’s the point of that character even existing in the first place? What kind of bullshit is that? Just to have them exist to make the main characters look good? How the fuck does that make sense? Like where is my Haizaki redemption arc? Do I have to write it on my own? I will write it. I am writing one.

Haizaki is the only character I could relate to. Being second best, struggling to find somewhere to fit in and overshadowed and replaced by someone everyone thinks is better than you. It's fucking depressing, okay? You spend your whole life thinking you’re not good enough, and it hurts. I don't feel like going too deep into it because I don't owe you a detailed explanation of my trauma, okay?. So I'll save that for my fics where I self-project half of it onto Haizaki. It’s a coping mechanism, okay? Therapy is fucking expensive.

The anime ruined his whole character, got rid of his whole arc and shorted it down, and made him worse than he really is.

A post explaining how the anime did him dirty and goes more in-depth about his character

I am not trying to justify his actions, i.e. him manhandling Alex and beating Himura up. He does terrible shit. We all do lousy shit sometimes, but that doesn't make us bad people. Making mistakes is a part of being human, and we're supposed to hold people accountable for their actions and help them realize what they’re doing is wrong, allowing them to grow and change. Not condemn them and ostracize them, which leads to isolation and a lot of psychological trauma and self-hatred, and as someone who has dealt with—is still dealing with all three. It is not fun. It makes living painful. Highly unrecommended.

Haizaki does not have a positive role model in his life nor anybody he can turn to, everyone has already given up on him. Even Nijimura and Kuroko didn’t even try to help him, being more focused on the Miracles. (Yes, I know kuroko tried to stop him from throwing his basketball shoes away, but that doesn’t fucking count because after that Kuroko just gave up on Haiazki too). Haizaki has probably grown grew up knowing only violence and not a single ounce of kindness, turning him into the bitter and angry little boy he is.

Haizaki had so much potential. But instead of making him a great villain that potential was WASTED on fucking Kise.

Also, the Kaijo vs Seirin match in the winter cup was completely useless because Kise already got redeemed and he literally got no character development from it.

And Seirin was gonna fucking win anyways because duh thier the main characters. 🙄

Now some headcanons I think about a lot:

1. He gets abused. Some psychological behavioural consequences of child abuse are unhealthy sexual practices and juvenile delinquency, and Haizaki exhibits all three which are some external behaviours of most (NOT ALL) male abuse victims. Haizaki's a womanizer, aggressive, hostile and violent. Yet, he backs down when someone stronger than him comes around and puts him in his place i.e. Aomine and Nijimura.

a factsheet explaining the long term consequences of child abuse and neglect

How to help a friend dealing with family abuse or neglect

How to Handle Abuse

2. He's a victim. And when you're a victim, you either become angry and cynical with everything and everyone around you, swearing never to be a victim again and struggle with gaining back control of your life. Not wanting anyone to see you being vulnerable because being vulnerable makes you weak. Being weak makes you shatter. You always shatter like glass, cutting yourself every time you pick up broken pieces, watching as blood trickles through your fingers.

Your body is constantly on high alert. The default is flight or fight—survival to the fittest.

Or you bite your lip and keep your head down, bottling everything inside and looking for escapes or seeking validation. You want to be wanted and loved because you struggle with loving and accepting yourself. There's always a voice in the back of your head telling you, you're not good enough or that it's your fault. That everything is your fault. Self-hatred and self-doubt are your tormentors.

Or it's a combination between both—a constant struggle.

And I believe Haizaki portrays both from the way he acts and presents himself. Especially since his motto is literally "Survival of the fittest,” and he had once told Kuroko, " there are bad guys and then the really scary people," or something along those lines, which I believe he is talking from experience. You learn from your experiences. They either make you or break you.

3. He's touch-starved.

What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved?

4. He's bisexual and has a lot of internalized homophobia. I can just feel his internalized homophobia rolling off of him. Bruh, I just know cuz I am bisexual, and I have struggled with internalized homophobia and still sadly struggle with it cuz I grew up surrounded by homophobic people.

I still live with them. 😭

Also, we live in a society that thinks straight is the default.

What internalized homophobia is.

5. His sexual awakening was probably Aomine or Kise. Could be both 😂?

6. He cries himself to sleep every night.

7. He's observant and a great judge of character. It's a fact. This guy literally predicted the downfall of the Miracles. Straight up warned Kuroko too. Too bad Kuroko didn't listen to him.

8. He's hilarious. When he first appeared in the manga, he literally called Himura a loser, lol. XD

9. He's a closeted softie and a total tsundere.

10. doesn't know how to react to kindness and will think you're threatening him or will feel really awkward and uncomfortable but will cover it up with his scowl, or he'll have a breakdown.

11. needs a lot of reassurance and head pats

12. swears a lot. Has no filter.

13. His bother is in the yakuza or some high position of power, and he feels inferior to him. It also explains why Haizaki gets away with things because he would have been kicked out of school if his bother wasn't either-or. I'm talking about his bother being in the yakuza, lol. XD

14. He and Momoi dated for a while but broke up on a mutual understanding that thier relationship just didn't work out. They're best friends and hang out sometimes.

15. Haizaki's good with kids and just genuinely likes them. He would be a great father and try his best to raise his kids right.

16. He gets sick really easily

17. He's clingy

18. He has no friends, mainly because he doesn't want people to get close to him because he's afraid of getting hurt again. Also, everyone in knb hates him.

19. He watches cartoons cuz he was never allowed to watch them when he was a kid. His childhood is trash, okay?

20. He hides in the closet because that's where he feels safe the most—rhetorically and literally.

21. Sleep-deprived and only runs on caffeine and spite.

List of fics that portray Haizaki better than the anime:

Heavy is the head by extrastellar

Idle Hands by DarkWoods

Another Chance by regretting my username_ (777imou_offline367)

What Matters is that We're Together by StrawFairy

06:00:00 of Haizaki Shougo (4) by ReiClien

This Is Happening by SharkGirl

What is Love by voices_in_my_head

A completely uncalled catharsis by oddball

One-shots

intertwined, under a spell by kornevable

ԼƠƔƐ & ӇΛƬƐ by Arthuria_PenDragon

delirium by extrastellar

me with you by doublejoint

Turn My Camera On by wordsliketeeth

At Summer's End by doublejoint

Taste by Hibari1_san

I Can't Get Enough of You by HisDarkSecret

I don't care if it hurts by llowsywriter

Ashes by doublejoint

broken things by lowsywriter

Series:

Finally found each other by suzakukills

This Is Happening Universe by SharkGirl

DNA by flowerway

My WIPS:

Isn’t it lovely?

Broken Crown

Love me, Love me, Love me

Grey skies

Rabbit hole

A playlist of songs that I believe fit Haizaki

Kuroko’s basketball’s manga

In conclusion, You can hate Haizaki as much as you want. But just keep it to yourself. Haizaki is my baby and I will protect him with my life.

[andromeda612]

The writer vs the liar

So, remember the prompt from a few days ago? You can chek it here

Well, I made a draft for what would be the whole fic, I'm gonna start it soon and will post it in Ao3, I would make a post when is ready and with every update, if you are interested make me know, so I can tag you.

I apologize for any mistake, english is not my first language, I hope you like it!

After Mari is expelled Nathaniel and Alix are worried and confused, because there is no way Marinette did those things (Alix defended Marinette in Reverser and I like to think that Nathaniel learned his lesson, so they are less likely to believe that Marinette would do anything of what Lila said) but all the mess is confusing. They talk but can't get a good answer. They decide to relax a little in the art club, they can't.

Marc noticing their mood ask what's wrong. So they tell him, and Marc is fast to point out all the wrong things with the whole situation. The "evidence" is circumstancial, superficial and easily planted, Damocles should have called Lila's parents too, no just Marinette's, Lila should had at least some bruises but there is no one, the protocole says that they needed to make an investigation, Mari has the right to prove her innocence, but Damocles just expelled her then and there. So yeah, the school messed up, because that failure in protocole and lack of professionalism can be addressed as neglect.

Thinking a little more they come to the conclusion that Marinette had been framed, but by who and why? If you think about it the only suspect is Lila, after all she was in the middle of the fire, but why would she did that? Marc asks for more background about this girl, because he only knows her because he had seen her sometimes in school and because Rose mentioned her once or twice, Nathaniel nor Alix have ever talked about her, Marinette either (and that interview on the Ladyblog is not that famous, so he missed it)

Alix explains the drama between those two, the seats thing (Marc tells them that it was wrong to move Mari to the back without asking her, maybe Nathaniel never had problem with being alone but he is not Marinette, they admit it was thoughtless from them and make a note to apologize later) and Marinette claming that Lila is a liar.

That catches Marc's atention, he knows Marinette, for him she is like a sister in everything but blood, after all she was the first person who was nice to him in school and despite not knowing in the time being that he has social anxiety she always was patient and kind with him until he was comfortable enough talking to her. Misunderstanding aside, she was the one who introduced him to Nathaniel and the rest of her friends from the art club, and they introduced him with the rest of their friends. Now he has two best friends (Mari and Alix) is dating his other bff (Nathaniel) has other good friends and is working in what he loves with his partner, all thanks to Marinette, so is no wonder that the two of them grew closer.

He knows that Mari hates liars, so if she thinks that this girl is a liar she must has a very good reason. Then Alix says that it just her being jealous because of Adrien. And yes, that may be true, Marinette tends to get jealous of any rival for the boy's affection, and can do crazy and, honestly, pretty bad stuff for him but again, he knows her and knows that at the end Marinette always admits her wrongdoings, apologizes and does better. He also knows that jealousy for itself is not a strong motive for dislike someone that much, because Chloe? is a brat, Kagami? He knows that Marinette actually helped Adrien in a date with her and now both girls are very good friends despite her knowing that Adrien actually is interested in Kagami, so if this Lila is really that good of a person then why Marinette seems to dislike her and think that is a liar? She has to has a reason.

When he says this Alix and Nathaniel have the decency of look ashamed, Marc is right, they (Alix and the girls the most) should have asked for her reasons instead of brush it off as simply jealousy, Marinette is better than that.

With his point clear, Marc asks for more details, maybe they can discover why Marinette thinks Lila is a liar. Again is Alix who talks (Nathaniel never had been one of Lila's admirers and he pays not much attention to the drama) and tells every story Lila told them (I'm not including the napkin incident because either Nathaniel nor Alix were there, Nathaniel was alone in another table and Alix wasn't in the cafeteria at all) and once she is done Marc is fast to point every single hole, contradiction and nonsense in Lila's claims.

Being a writer and a very active reader makes this kind of thing easy for him, it also helps that some of Lila's claims can be debunked with a little knowledge (arthritis doesn't work like that for example) and him has plenty of that, he likes to read about different topics, not just stories and comics, also is the fact that he makes lots of researching for his stories (the comic is not the only thing he writes for) even if they are about fantasy he likes them to be coherent and solid, so if he is going to use some topic he research to support his writing, so yeah he knows a little of many things. He also points out all the times Lila manipulated them so they did things for her, and how.

Now they know the truth, Lila IS a liar and a manipulative one.

HOLY SHIT MARINETTE WAS RIGHT! First they feel bad, they should have listened to her! They are also ashamed because now that they think about it most of the lies are dumb! They are idiots!

Marc is fast to comfort them, after all some of her lies are believable at least from their point of view, their class is not a normal one they have some famous people like Adrien a famous model, Chloe the mayor's daughter, Nathaniel is the ilustrator of one of the most popular comics in Paris, Marinette is Jagged Stone's favorite designer and has been prized by Gabriel Agreste and Audrey Bourgois, Max is a genius with his own AI, there is Kitty Section and the list goes. So, one more student with conections and awesome claims is not that difficult to believe. Also, they are being manipulated, Lila use pity to make herself look vulnerable and fragil, so they would not question her or her claims, she also takes advantage of their kindness. Being fooled and manipulated is not a crime, they are victims too.

That make them feel better, but now they are pissed, because THEY ARE BEING FOOLED, MANIPULATED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF! AND MARINETTE IS EXPELLED AND ALL IS THAT WITCH FAULT!

Marc is pissed too, being the patient and quiet person he is there are just a few things that makes him trully angry, but messing with his loved ones is the top of that list, and that little bitch is messing with all of his friends and his boyfriend! She is not just liying, manipulating and using them, she also gives them false hope with all the false promises she made, they are gonna be hurt once she fails in fulfil them. And MARINETTE IS EXPELLED so yeah, that brat crossed many lines.

For now they decide to talk to Marinette, Alix and Nathaniel need to apologize, and to make her know that the three of them know the truth and are by her side.

Later they discover that Marinette's expulsion is revoked, aparently all was a huge misunderstanding and Lila herself clarified the mess. Yeah, something is off here and they are not going to let their guard down, but at least Mari's name is clean.

The next day they are in the bakery with Marinette's favorite ice cream and two draws made by Alix and Nath, a -forgive-us-for-not-listened-you-and-for-being-bad-friends- gift. Marinette is relieved and actually cries of joy for having her friends by her side and free from Lila's claws, and of course she forgive them, after all they admitted their errors and apologized, also despite the evidence against her they gave her the benefit of the doubt, and for that she is grateful.

They talk and Marinette tells them how she found out the truth the same she told Alya and Nino (Marc tells her that it was not ok to follow Adrien and Lila but unlike them he still listened to her side of the story) she also point out that she ACTUALLY KNOWS Jagged Stone.

But hey! That doesn't mean that Adrien also knows the truth?

Yeah, she also tells them that Adrien is aware of Lila's true nature and also talks about the 'high road' advice. "HE TOLD YOU WHAT?"

But before any of them could get angry with Adrien she explains that he really thought her lies were harmless, also he believed that expose her would be bad because he called her out in a friendly way and still she was akumatized, but now that she was expelled he recognized that his advice was a bad one and that her lies can hurt people, he already apologized to her, and explained that he made a deal with Lila, he will be her friend and she will be a model and in return she will bring Mari back to school. He also admited that the best is to expose her, becasue netiher of them actually believe that Lila is going to let Marinette alone.

That makes them calm down, and forgive Adrien, he apologized to Marinette too and admited his error, also they think that a deal with the devil is punishment enough, and if they think about it, probably the poor boy didn't knew better, but he does now, so it's ok.

Then they learn about the threat in the bathroom and her almost akumatization. And they are even more pissed HOW DARE SHE? They apologize again for making her believe that she couldn't trust them with that. She says is ok, that she didn't take her too seriously, and she has faith in them, and so far they proved her right. Though, Marc wish that she could have talked to him at least, maybe they would have prevented all of this, but it doesn't matter.

Well, now they have one thing clear: they need to take that bitch down. But how? Lila could lie her way out, or twist the situation in her favor, they are trying to come up with a plan, but Marc is quiet, his mind working and then he has an idea.

With a calm and cool tone he says them "Just help me with some research, I'll take care of the rest" and replacing his usual sweet and shy demeanor there is a smirk and a cold determination and confidence in his face that surprise them (Nath actually finds it kind of hot)

They don't know what is he thinking, but they have seen him angry before (and thank god they have never been the cause of it, because Marc is a cinnamon roll but is very scary when is angry) and they know what his wrath is capable of. Whatever his plan is, they know is gonna work and dammit if it doesn't. They almost feel bad for Lila. Almost.

The next days they spend time together doing the investigation (they have some fun time and an awesome sleepover too), and finally they get solid proof to expose Lila, thanks to Marinette they get a video interview with Jagged Stone where the singer claims that he never had met Lila, and thanks to Marc's general knowledge in health and some help from Nathaniel's parents who both are doctors, they also get proof to debunk Lila's claims of illnes or other disabilities (specially the lying disease bullshit) and since Marc is a good researcher they manage to find some interesting stuff, like Mrs. Rossi contact information, is all in the embassy page.

With the investigation done, all what they need to do is wait for the perfect moment to expose the liar, and the oportunity comes two weeks later in the form of a picnic that Bustier's class organize just to hang out together, naturally Marc is invited and helps to organize said picnic, almost all of the class consider him a friend and one of them despite him being in Mendeleiev's class. Mari, Alix and Nathaniel still don't know what is his plan exactly, but they trust him. Adrien is aware of his plan but he doesn't know what exactly is either.

So here they are, in the park, in a cute blanket, with some delicious food and with great company (that doesn't include certain people, aka Chloe and the liar) and of course Lila is charming their friends with other of her lies, it takes all of their willpower to not roll their eyes. And then, listening carefully Marc takes the perfect moment to interrumpt the tale, social anxiety or not, that witch is hurting his beloved ones and he is not going to tolerate it, so even if he never has talked to her, fuck his shyness, that girl is gonna face the consequences for her actions. (It also helps that he is already friends with the rest of his boyfriend's class)

So, to everyone suprise he interrumpts Lila in middle sentence to point out the holes in what she is saying.

Alix, Nathaniel, Marinette and Adrien froze in panic, what is he thinking?! A direct confrontation was a bad idea, wasn't it? Marc locked eyes with the four of them and give a look thay says 'I get this' so they let him be, but now they are really uneasy.

What they didn't know is that the last days until now Marc has been doing more than just research, he was studying his enemy. Marc is a good listener, and being someone who likes to go unnoticed he became a very good observant too, he can notice little details and patterns, also he is a sensible and sympathetic boy so is easy for him to put himself in other's shoes, that combined makes him very good at reading and analysing people. He also made extra research in psychology and behaivor. So now, he knows how Lila works, he knows what to expect and how to answer. It also helps that he is very good with words, not just the ones he writes for his stories, but the ones he says and also he is very good with other's people words, he knows how to use them. That is his plan, he is going to use all his skills and knowledge to trap Lila, she thinks that she is smart and can control the situation, but Marc is going to prove that she can and will lose in her own game. Her lies are gonna be her downfall.

Lila of course tries to make an excuse or another lie to save face, but Marc refutes her again and again, and the rest of the class? Some are confused and others seems thoughtful shit! She is losing control! She tries but this black haired boy seems to be smart, he gets her cornered until the point that she can't lie her way out, and her classmates are starting to look suspicious. She tries to change tactics, the tears worked against Marinette, they will work now. She hides her face in her hands and starts to sob.

"I just was trying to share some of my wonderful experiencies with my friends, so I could give them some advice to help them in the future. Why are you being so mean? I haven't done anything to you! " That make people like Rose or Mylene to softened and go to comfort her, and between her hands she can see Alya ready to confront the boy, but Marc is ready for this kind of tactic, is his turn to make a move.

"I'm sorry but, How does this make me mean? I just pointed some facts because honestly, I'm a bit confused. At first I thought that you just made a little mistake, but then you just said another nonsense! Why would YOU do that?"

And then she is losing the little control she manage to regain. Because no matter how much they want to comfort her, Marc has a point and what he said so far actually makes sense, at least more sense than what she said. The others start to look torn between comfort or question her.

"Well... how would you know that what I said is wrong? Where is your proof?" Lila crosses her arms and look to other side, just to hide the smirk in her face, that would be enough and that annoying nobody will learn to not get in her way.

But, much to her surprise Marc actually has a good answer to that.

"Uh... comon sense? I mean, If I'm being a little honest if you think about it, some of the things you said have no... logic. Also I like to read a lot and about different things, including what you were saying so I know for a fact that some of the things you said are wrong. And my proof? Well a quick search in google is enough to prove me right"

Lila pales, she was not expecting that answer, and to her utter horror she can see some of her classmates typing in their phones, probably fact checking for once, she need to fix this now! She looks around trying to find some sympathy or something that would help, but she only see her classmates reading something in their phones and some of them are starting to frown, then she looks to Marinette and has an idea, this would break her little deal with Adrien but is ok, she wasn't planning to leave the brat alone anyway and her model career is in his father's hands, and she already has him tied around her finger.

So, before anyone could say something she sobs more louder and points a finger to Marinette.

"This is because of Marinette, isn't it? She put you into this! I-" but she couldn't finish because Marc interrumpts her, he also is ready for Lila trying to blame Marinette and he is not having it!

"And what does she has to do with this? Is not her fault that you have your facts wrong" and now the others are starting to narrow their eyes towards her, Damn it! Well she made the baker a threat, is time to fulfil it.

Lila makes the best she can to look pityful and scared. "Well... I didn't want to say this because I thought that nobody would believe me but... Marinette threatened me in the bathroom the day I came back from Achu!" She cries to everybody's shock.

"WHAT?!" Everybody screamed that. Marinette and her we-know-the-truth squad are frozen and can't believed it, THE NERVE OF THIS GIRL!

The rest to their friends are equally stunned, because they just can't believe what Lila said.

Lila using the shock continues with her sob story.

"She cornered me in the bathroom and told me that she would turn all of you against me! And all because she is jealous! And now she is using this boy to make you think that I'm a liar, just like she said!" Lila hug herself in an attempt to look small and is crying full force now.

Marc has to use all his willpower to not scream and call her a hypocrite, but he has a perfect answer for that too.

"Marinette would NEVER do that!" And to Lila's surprise and Marinette's glee is not Marc who says that, is Alya.

"Marinette is the sweetest girl, and she is not a bully!" That was Rose, who walked away from Lila like she burned her. And the rest of the class make their agreement known.

Lila really did NOT expect THAT reaction! They are supose to be comforting her and screaming to Marinette, not defending her! It's ok she can fix it.

"See? Is this why I didn't want to say anything! You don't believe me!"

Marc takes the word again "We know Marinette, we know she has flaws but she is one of the best people we know" again everybody agrees with that.

Lila is getting desperate, this is not what is supose to happen! And where is an akuma when you need it?! But Lila refuses to lose!

"Look I know you all thougth that you knew her and that she was your friend, but the truth is that Marinette is not what she seems to be, she is a manipulative liar and is just using you!"

Again, is not Marc who talks, this time is Kim

"No, you look Lila, I have known Marinette since diapers, and I know she has flaws but she is NOT a bad person"

"Yeah, and using us? She is the one who goes out of her way just to help us! She is a caring friend! Heck! We actually had to convince her that it's ok to pay to her everytime we comission something from her!" That was Nino

"And still, she gives us discounts everytime she can, but jus for the record, we have no problem in paying the whole price, Marinette, your job is awesome and you deserve to be fairly rewarded" that was Ivan, and Marinette gives him a very grateful smile, the rest of her friends agree with him and she smiles to them too.

"But-but" Lila is in trouble, she tries to think fast, but then Max just dig her hole deeper.

"Also, what Marc just said about your story is also true, all the wrong facts and holes, I asked Markov to fact check and the evidence supports Marc, the only conclusion is that you were lying to us!"

Nonononononono NO!

"And since you told us this lie like you did with any other of your stories I wondered What else was a lie? I also asked Markov to confirm every thing that you had said to us, and nearly the 86.65% was a lie"

Marc smiles, the game is going exactly according to his plan, even some of his moves were made by others, he is happy that Marinette has friends with such a faith in her, ready to stand up for her just like she does for them. But he knows that the game is still on, Lila still has some pieces, but Marc already steal her big ones, she just has some pawns to defend her King and Marc has his army intact.

Well fuck, she is doomed, the rest of the class looks ready to attack her... and then she remember her last card, it's a wild card, her lies will not work the same way anymore but she could save face, she will, eventually, come up with something to regain her control.

Well it seems that there is a limit, so I make a part 2

[stevesnailbat]

until it’s gone | steve harrington

summary: They say love is blind, but they never tell you that it’ll take you away from the ones who truly have always loved you the most.

warnings: some mentions of mental/physical abuse, angst

word count: 1.8K

a/n: this is a very self-indulgent fic, so i’m sorry if you don’t enjoy it. i wrote this for myself and any other victims of abusive relationships, really. if you don't want to read, please skip; writing this was a really therapeutic experience for me, i’m still dealing with what happened to me over four years ago and this is only the half of it. I want to share my experiences for those who don't have a voice. if anyone has experienced anything like me or anything along these lines, know that I'm always here to talk and listen! the gif is not mine, credit goes to @ehzio

She didn’t know what she was missing until it was gone. She never would have believed that she’d want Steve back, not after everything they’d gone through. It took months and a horrid relationship for her to realize what she’d lost.

It’s a tough concept, true love. It’s something that most people can't fully grasp until it’s slipped through their fingers a few times. It’s something that most people think they have, but don’t actually understand. It’s something that’s hard to come by. Steve knew that what he had with Y/N was true love, he knew that what they had was something that he’d never forget. He never expected for it to end up the way that it did, in shambles with pieces of their broken hearts shattered within the other. No matter how hard they tried, there was always something that would bring them back to each other, those shards of love would always be there when the other could’t physically hold them.

Neither of them would never dare to fully explain what led to the breakup. Steve’s friends would always praise him for what happened, Y/N’s would give her an incredulous look of sympathy whenever they’d talk about it. All they could say, really, was that another pair of lips against both of theirs should never have been their solution; especially when there wasn’t a true problem in the first place.

Moving on is never easy, but moving on from someone who never really leaves is even harder. Seeing Steve every day was a struggle, especially knowing that she wasn’t his anymore. There wasn’t anything either of them could do about it, though. What they had seemed to be gone, the love was buried beneath months of trauma and terror. She tried, and tried, and tried to move on without anyone’s help, until she finally met someone new.

Justin Wilkerson, he seemed like the perfect boy. He was protective, caring, and was always there when she needed him. She saw him through rose-colored glasses, she thought he was everything she had ever dreamed of. Her parents were suspicious, though. They never trusted what they had, but they would never bring it up; it seemed they were only glad that Steve was out of the picture. Y/N was head over heels for Justin, but she fell a little too quickly.

Falling for him a little too quickly was what caused her downfall. The ‘I love you’s flowed from their lips too soon and too often when they got together. Everything was a little too good, and went sour quickly. Sweet words of adoration turned to harsh words of manipulation.

A slip of the spiteful tongue was okay, right? A sharp glance and snide comment was okay, right? A need to control the relationship was okay, right? A slip of the strong fingers against the throat, a slip of a fucking belt against the ass, a slip of the rough hand in the hair was okay, right? A feeling of loneliness in a relationship was normal, right?

Right?

No. She knew it wasn’t normal, she knew it wasn’t okay. But, she couldn’t leave. Justin needed her, or so he told her. She was his lifeline, until she wasn’t. She was what kept him afloat, when he needed it. Only when he needed it, only when he was the one in need. It was like she was disposable, like she was nothing more than someone to feel up for a little bit and call his. Day by day, it all got worse. She never knew what was going to happen when they were together. One minute, he’d tell her that she was all he needed, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The next, he’d tell her that she was worthless, that she was nothing to him, that she was just some type of experiment to him. It was normal for him to be angry with her sometimes. Sometimes it really was her fault, right?

Right?

No. Three months. It took three goddamn months for her to figure that out. When it caught up with her, it hit hard. She realized that not being allowed to go anywhere without permission from him while he was out was not okay. She realized that the goddamn belt, the goddamn hand that he’d come down with, the goddamn fingers on her throat were not okay. It was time to move on, if he’d let her.

Moving on wasn’t without a fight, that’s for sure. Justin guilted her into loving him for much longer than she’d expected. He’d told her that she was nothing without him, and she believed it for a while. After breaking up, he was still relentless. She had to resort to threats of ruined reputations and harsh words to get him to back off, but he finally did.

She thought she was free from love and lust, free from heartbreak and heartache, but she was wrong. Something felt off, like there was something missing. The hole in her chest was hungry, never satiated with her own efforts to be happy. The effort was never enough, until she realized what she’d lost.

It was at a stupid basketball game when she realized what she was missing: Steve. A flash of brown locks and that charming smile rushed through her mind on repeat when she saw him on the court. Her friends forced her to go, they made her get out for a while to get her mind off of everything. It didn’t get her mind off of anything, really. Realization took over for the sadness within her, and she finally realized what she had to do.

Steve had never moved on, he still loved her and would until he died. It hurt to see her struggle for so long, but those rose-colored glasses hid her from the truly terrible side of Justin until it was too late. There was nothing he could do about it until she realized it on her own. He thought she’d hated him all the while, he though she’d given up their love long ago.

Neither of them ever let go throughout their time apart. Something pulled them towards each other and eventually back together at that damn basketball game. She would give him long glances in the hallway, smile at him every once in a while. He was slightly confused, but he didn’t want to fuck it up this time, so he stayed silent without questioning. Steve ran through her mind for the rest of the week, until she finally got the courage to talk to him. It was a late night phone call, a short confessional at most. But, it was enough to make them both realize the love they’d missed out on.

“Y’know, I miss this.” Steve remarked over the phone, glancing at the clock to note the time at 3 a.m.

“Me too, Steve.” she said with a yawn, curling the phone cord in her fingers.

“I missed that tired whisper, that one right there.” he chuckled, making her giggle tiredly. “Soon enough you’ll be snoring like you used to.”

“Better watch it, Harrington. You’re on thin ice.” she teased, feeling satisfied with the conversation and where their relationship seemed to be going.

After the next week’s basketball game, things seemed hopeful. Steve invited her to celebrate the teams’ win with the rest of the boys, she obliged. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of him throughout the night, a feeling of happiness was spreading through her every time they locked eyes. Neither of them wanted the night to end once the time came to leave. Luckily, the unpredictable Indiana weather gave them a torrential downpour to keep them together for a while longer.

“I should probably pull over, I can’t see anything.” Steve said, squinting as he tried to continue driving.

“Pulling over sounds like a better idea than trying to drive. I’d rather get home a little past curfew than get in a crash.” she joked, flashing a nervous smile in his direction. 

Steve’s heart felt like it was aching in the middle of his chest as he pulled the car to a park on the side of the road, his nerves were getting the best of him. Y/N couldn’t help but stare at Steve as he watched the rain pour against the windshield when he pulled the car to a stop. There was something about the moment that brought upon an unspoken revelation in both of them; their love was still there, it was even stronger than before.

“Y’know, I miss this.” she said, mimicking what he’d said to her on the phone.

“I missed this too. We don’t have to miss it anymore.” Steve said softly, a twinge of desperation in his voice.

“I know.” she replied hesitantly while her eyes fell to their hands, which were mere centimeters apart. “I know we don’t.”

A breath hitched in her throat when Steve moved all at once, she cowered away a little. He looked down at her with a pained frown, knowing exactly why she’d flinched. Steve wasn’t Justin, though. The calm yet hurt look on his face told her that he was nothing like Justin, and that he’d changed for the better. He wasn’t the same foolish boy that he was when they broke up. She could trust him, she told herself.

“I—I don’t know if you’ll ever trust me like you did before. But, I won’t hurt you again.” he assured her, keeping a safe distance for a moment. “Is this okay?”

His hand was hovering over hers, warmth radiating from his palm as if to tell her that she was safe. In the silent moment, only the sound of their breathing and the rain on the BMW’s roof were to be heard. She nodded slowly, finally daring to look back into his eyes. Steve gave her a weak smile and rested his hand on top of hers, feeling okay with starting everything over. He was coming to terms with the fact that they were new people, that it was a brand new relationship. She was coming to terms with love once more, but she felt like he didn’t believe she wanted him. Justin’s words replayed in her mind, telling her that nobody could want her unless she was under them.

The kiss she gave Steve was bruising and heated, like she’d been waiting to do it forever. But, it was a little too rash for him to enjoy it like he should. He could tell she felt like she owed it to him, like he’d leave if he didn’t give her something. He was satisfied with just being with her, that was all he cared about. The look on her face when he pulled away from the kiss was heartbreaking; she felt like he didn’t want her, like he was already bored with her.

“I don’t know what you’re so scared about, but I’m no Justin Wilkerson, Y/N. I don’t need you to prove yourself.” he assured her. “I’ll be alright, okay? I just want you to be happy. I don't want you doing anything that would hurt you.”

“I just want to be happy.” she repeated, smiling timidly at him with a small nod. “And I will be happier with you.”

tags: @sourapplebaby @jxnehxpper @harringtown @charmed-asylum @queenofthehairharrington @lemonypink @a-magey @igotmadskills @daddystevee @heart-eye-harrington

[zoxiqwritesstuff]

This fic is dedicated to the amazingly talented @elisaphoenix13 and her aeesome Mama bear AU that inspired this fic. Go check out her work on here and AO3!!

========

Looped Nightmare

Chapter 1: Was it all a dream?

Tony woke up as he jolted up from his slumber, panting lightly. His forehead was damp with a cold sweat as he ran a hand down his face, trying to calm himself from the nightmare he had just woken up from. He grabbed his glasses on the table next to the bed, sliding them on as the iv tube hit his face. Tony batted the tube away before his chocolate eyes went wide at his surroundings. 

"What the hell…" Tony questioned as he saw he was in the medical bay. " Friday, tell mama bear this is a little extreme for falling out of bed."

Friday was silent for once. 

"Friday? Oh don't tell me he's still mad about the bath bomb…  i said i was sorr…" Tony rambled as he tried to get out of bed, his legs failing him as he crumbled to the floor.

Steve had been passing by just asTony had collapsed to the floor, the super soldier rushing forward and helping the billionaire into a nearby wheelchair. Tony's face grew even more confused at his weakness. He had felt fine just last night when he had crawled into bed with Stephen. He hadn't felt like this since he was rescued from space after…

"You've been out for a week Tony." Steve stated softly. 

"Where are the girls? Stephen? The boys? Is everyone ok?!" Tony asked hurriedly as he looked up at the super soldier. 

"Cassie and Diana are fine… but I'm sorry Tony…" Steve sighed sadly as he walked behind the engineer, pushing the wheelchair. "Stephen, Harley, and Peter were…"

"Were what?! Where's Val? You forgot her! Were we attacked while i was asleep?!" Tony was letting the panic fill him completely at what he was hearing. 

Then things started to click. Space, everyone missing… It was just like after the snap. Was everything he remembered just a dream during his comatose state? 

No.

It couldn't be. This had to still be some sick dream he was stuck in. They defeated Thanos… he snapped again. The engineer was wheeled over to a table with the few remaining Avengers, the pictures of those lost to the snap projected up from the holotable.

Chocolate eyes widen when he sees Peter and Stephen's pictures flash across the screen. He grabbed what he thought was his damaged arm,  his brows furrowing when there was no charred flesh under his touch. 

Had him snapping all been a dream in his coma? 

His eyes focused off into the distance as the other's talked in the background.  Something was wrong.  He could feel it in his gut and would try to prove it.  

*****

Tony sat in the living room of the lake house, staring at the Starkpad in his hand. It was getting harder and harder to tell if what was happening around him was real. He got hungry and needed sleep, which meant it wasn't a dream. Maybe it was an alternate dimension? Or some spatial anomaly?

Either way, he knew he would get his family back. 

Cassie watched from the kitchen where she was feeding Diana some baby food from a jar. The billionaire had her worried. Maybe he was still in shock from the snap? She knew that she hadn't quite gotten a grip on what had happened. At least she didn't have it as bad as Tony, who actually had both Stephen and Peter turn to dust in his arms.  

She finished feeding Diana, wiping her face with a diaper wipe to remove any blueberries that had decided to stay on her cheeks before carrying her back to the living room.  The child set the baby in the swing before climbing up onto the couch next to Tony. 

"Uncle Tony? Can we watch cartoons?" Cassie asked softly, looking up at the distracted man. 

"Huh? Oh yeah… FRI? Put on whatever Miss Sass wants." Tony muttered as he kept scrolling through the articles that littered the screen. 

Each and every one of them was dated 2018, part of Tony wanting to believe that were true even though there was a much louder voice in his head yelling at him to wake up. Even his conscience sounded like his last husband.  He rubs his eyes and sighs as he sets the device in the coffee table before him. Cassie pats his leg gently. 

"It's ok Uncle Tony." Cassie said softly, the billionaire not missing the sorrow that laced her young voice. "I miss my daddy too." 

Tony pulled Cassie into a hug, hoping to soothe the still grieving girl beside him. "Me too Cass… me...too.."

Tony's brain began whirling with ideas.  

Scott. 

Scott…

"SCOTT!" Tony hadn't realized he yelled the man's name as his hands darted for the Starkpad again. 

Scott had solved the answer in how to get everyone back before. If Tony could find him again and bring him back,  maybe then he could prove he wasn't crazy.  Maybe he could get his family back. 

Cassie turned her attention away from the cartoons on the television to watch Tony. She knew the last time she saw her father, he was helping Mr. Pym and Hope to collect some particles or something like that. 

He was one of the victims of the snap.  

"Uncle Tony… daddy is gone too." She muttered softly as she reached to pull his hand away from the Starkpad. 

"Cassie. I promise I'm not crazy but… I've already been through this before. " Tony explained. "Your dad wasn't snapped.  He's trapped in the quantum realm and if I can find him, then he can help get everyone else ba…" 

The man turned and saw the tears filling large hazel eyes just before Cassie got up. The child ran to her room and shut her door behind her.  Tony sighs softly as he holds his head in his hands, looking over at his baby daughter in her swing.  

"I promise daddy isn't crazy." The billionaire mutters to her as he moves to put her pacifier back into her mouth.  "Maybe I should let time take its course. I know Stephen would say it's wrong to mess with a time stream."

He could wait. He had done it before and he could do it again. Tony knew exactly how to fix this,  but he needed everything to happen in the exact order as it did last time. 

That night, Tony lied awake in his bed as he stared at the ceiling with his tired chocolate eyes. He thought it was hard to sleep when Stephen was dimension hopping, but now it was nearly impossible. The billionaire sighed as he rolled over onto his side and stared at the spot where his husband would have been, his heart aching as his fingers reached over and clutched the sheets. 

"I'll get you back tesoro." Tony promised softly. "You and our whole family."

After a few more hours of tossing and turning, the billionaire finally fell asleep. If only it were a peaceful sleep. Tony was caught in a dream. 

Tony looked around the sandy terrain littered with the ruins of the alien civilization that used to occupy Titan. He slowly stood from where he had been seated in the sand, his hand instinctively reaching to tap the nanotech housing unit.  Two weights shot out and attached themselves to his wrist, drawing Tony's immediate attention to what was attacking him. 

He couldn't believe his eyes.  

Stephen and Peter were hanging on his wrists, their fingers clawing at his sleeves. Tony couldn't take his eyes off of the betrayed expression they had on their face. 

"You failed." Stephen's voice rang out as he suddenly vanished. 

"I...I tried… i…" Tony stuttered as he saw Peter vanish as well. 

"You didn't try hard enough." Peter's voice bit out as wind began to whip around Tony.  

He tried to push on through the brewing sandstorm. He had to get to his family. 

"I tried everything!" Tony shouted over the howling wind. 

"You can't… we had one chance… and you ruined it." Stephen's voice hissed in his hair. "You let us die." 

"NO! I DIDN'T!" The billionaire exclaims. 

"I told you to run. We would have been safe on earth." The ghostly form of Stephen and Peter appear before Tony.  "If you had listened to us instead of your ego,our family would be whole. We wouldn't have turned to dust!"

Tony fell to his knees as tears welled up in his eyes,  his hands trembling as he gripped the sand beneath him. He had tried everything to save his family that day. After having Thanos in his head since the Chitauri invasion, he thought the only way to stop Thanos was to take the battle to him. He wished he could undo everything from that dreadful day. 

"...ony...Tony…" Stephen's voice called softly. 

Tony went to answer the gentle voice, but he couldn't as a sudden pain coursed through his chest. He cried out in pain as he fell to the sand, clutching his chest. He tried to breathe, to catch his breath but another pain coursed through his chest. It was like he was being electrocuted by invisible lightning. 

"Tony! Wake up!" Stephen's voice cried out as the ghostly versions of him and Peter faded. "Tony!!" 

Tony jolted awake with a startled gasp, clutching his chest as he panted heavily.  His hair was drenched from sweat as he pushed it away from his forehead.  

What the actual hell was that?

[autumn-foxfire]

Holy shit I almost choked. Not literal, but all the motions were there. 'also twice removed means something much different in the bnha fandom' You really went and said that huh. Wow. I also think I might show my friend the stardew valley post, she really likes that game. Now for what I actually planned on saying. I support smart Todoroki rights. The constant dumb or extreme baby and can't defend himself portrayals are getting real tiring. Because he absolutely can defend himself. (1/6)

Shouto isn't a coward. He will smack away Endeavor, rant about him freely, and slurp soba and stare him dead in the eye 'oh nasty scar you got there' he is absolutely a smart boi. He just takes sayings a bit too literal sometimes. And hey, I'm socially awkward too! I had a bad childhood too! But if people thought of me how they write Shouto, flinching and cowering and just taking what Endeavor did to him I'd just be really insulted. (2/6) 

He understands a whole lot of things, its kinda a given for us. OP said it all, that conclusion post is super valid too. And yeah what the addition says. It can be tricky to find a balance, most of the time it's always overdone. Can't expect people to get it 100%, it's fanfic. And some people enjoy that. Like I'd be reading a Hawks fic and your so right, they really do that to him. And like, y'all as much as I am for the Commission being shitty and Hawks being baby. (3/6) 

I'm sure canon isn't to that degree. If you really wanna protray Hawks as a victim, please know that's not the only way. And it's insulting to him too. So whenever I see a fic where Hawks oh surprise surprise! Has some actual self-respect, isn't a dumbass and shows his intellect without being a total pushover by the Commission and his entire thought process warped by fanon I'm like heck yeah! That's the good stuff. And hey if you want people to care about him, they can still do that. (4/6) 

Not everyone needs to come off totally broken or like Eri to be a victim. Hawks doesn't need to be confused and slowly guided to know what the Commission did was bad. I doubt he even cares. And at least everytime I've seen people be confronted by their pasts they've all been like 'yeah? I mean, it's all in the past now and I'm doing fine. Thanks though.' But fanfic exists for the reason of people being able to call out situations they don't like. (5/6) 

And canon is 100% okay with the hero training program those guys have and Hawks going on a solo infiltration mission. None of the heroes are gonna bat an eye to that. He's an adult, he did his job. Consequences are your own. Done. That's just how it works, he's doing his risky hero career just like everyone else. Our personal feelings about the unfairness of it all doesn't have a say in how canon accepts it. (6/6)

Okie Dokie! Second time's the charm (mostly because I'm writing this in Notepad and unless my computer freezes, I should be okay)

You're the only one to spot that tag, I'm glad you found it funny (sorry you almost choked or well kinda, though). Also that setup was going to give me nightmares and I don't know how the man did not have anxiety attacks over it. Now to get into the actual answer.

I personally hate it when a smart character is dumbed down for the sake of the plot, whether it be in canon or in fanon. I also hate it when canon characteristics are taken away from the character for plot convienance too.

Shouto is a young man that is awkward in social situations and can be oblivious to jokes or sometimes take jokes to literal (like the time with Mount Lady). He is brave and intelligent. He isn't a cowering child, not anymore. He can and he has stood up to his father on multiple occassions and while he's socially awkward at times, he's learning how to interact with his friends and classmates around him (I recently saw a post about how Sero was discussing trading manga with him so he does have friends outside of Izuku and Bakugo). You don't need to reduce him to a boy that flinches whenever someone raises a hand or is secretly afraid of his father whenever the two of them alone because the way Shouto expresses and deals with his trauma in canon is completely valid too.

It's the same with Hawks. Hawks is aware of his crappy situation and how he was raised, it was even his excuse to join the league (being trapped in a birdcage). He's also not blind to the commission or it's faults and corruption. He even defied an order to allow innocent people to die in order to further his mission because he knew it was wrong. He's also constantly referencing how the commission doesn't give him much choice too. Which is why I'm always confused when Hawks is portrayed to believe the commission is right and needs to be gently guided (usually by the LoV but's that's a rant for another day) to realise this situation isn’t okay. If anything Hawks just needs help untangling himself from the commission’s influence (and the best stories I've read of Hawks doing that have been with the support of heroes, not villains, but maybe I'm just biased).

(Though I'm not sure how okay people would be to learn that both Shouto and Hawks were trained from a young age and reduced to their quirks/worth and Hawks was even told to give up his name. While it's common for teenagers to hone their quirks, especially before the entrance exams to hero schools, I don't think anymore would be okay with six years olds being told to master their quirks to perfection)

Overall though, people can write what they want. If they want to write Shouto flinching or Hawks being completely under the thumb of the HPSC then they can. Hell, sometimes I enjoy those stories myself even so I can't judge. But when I don't like a story I just backspace and then leave it alone because something that I might not like might be the favourite story for someone else. We all have our preferences and perspectives of characters, these are mine.

[daesungindistress]

i agree with most things you say about seungri's situation, but when you hint at saying his resignation from yg & bb is noble or whatever... i just can't see it that way. i see it as manipulative. that he said it for sympathy & to get fans on his side. he Knows how dedicated vip are and how even more so vvip are and he wrote his letter knowing that.

I know. I’m just trying to appeal to Seungri’s remaining fans in a way that might get through to them. A kinder approach, you could say. Rather than going at it from the “your fave is trash and a horrible person and you should be ashamed” angle, which is more heavy-handed than I like and likely to meet resistance and something I don’t fully agree with anyway, I’m asking them to listen to Seungri’s own words in which he announced he was out. I’m offering them the chance to at least pretend he did it nobly… to save face for themselves, or what little is left anyway, just as Seungri did for himself. Think of it as a parting gift of sorts. Seungri gave us a way to hail him as a hero even as he was leaving us, i.e., “I did it for you.” For the sake of keeping the peace, if this is what it takes to get people to let him go from the group, I’m willing to play along.

Denial, though, is a hell of a drug. When people still proclaim “OT5 forever,” all I see is Seungri’s own fans sticking their fingers in their ears, spitting on his “sacrifice,” and slinging it back in his face. Doesn’t matter if it comes from his own mouth; if it’s not what they want to hear, they won’t listen. But you know what? For many of them, this isn’t new. It was never about what he wanted, it was about what they wanted for him – what they wanted from him. They’ll tear him to pieces pulling on him, as long as it means they get what they want in the end: more.

Remember when a segment of his fans were pushing him to leave Big Bang because “he deserves better”? Now he’s gone and those same fans are begging him to come back. You just can’t win when your fans are this fickle. For crying out loud, let the man make his own decisions about his future!

Right, back to his retirement. I personally think it’s 50% “woe is me”, 25% trying to save face by leaving first, and 25% still caring about his hyungs and BB’s reputation enough to recognize that the best thing he can do for them is distance himself (a concept that seems to be lost on his remaining fans, some of whom are going around to various Aori Ramen restaurants and leaving notes of support on napkins and post-its… do they realize they’re hurting the owners and employees who’ve cut ties with Seungri in an attempt to stay afloat, or do they just not care).

That said, I agree with you in that, in my eyes at least, Seungri has always been manipulative to a degree. He throws himself little pity parties when things aren’t going his way, he cracks jokes and tells funny stories to vent about things that are bothering him, be it his bandmates or his management under YG. Turning to humor as a coping mechanism and a weapon, a means to an end. He does this knowing that his army of fans will come to his defense, taking advantage of it when it suits him.

Does he mean to be this way? I don’t know him well enough to say. But even if we’re willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and concede that it’s unintentional, that he doesn’t mean to influence his followers to do his bidding for him, the best you can say about it is that it’s irresponsible. And I’ve never once cared for it.

He was doing it just this January, remember? I wrote those posts timidly criticizing him for his complaints about YG… the lack of band and few backup dancers at his concert… which, wow, yeah, that sucked, but the way he handled it? How his detailed account of what went wrong, relaying word-for-word what was said between them, mobilized his fans and turned them against his own boss? Watching it all play out was both disappointing and frustrating. At the time, I was reluctant to say too much for fear of incurring the wrath of his fans, but I couldn’t resist pushing back just a bit when the situation blew up and made the news. I thought it was unprofessional and unbecoming of him to air his dirty laundry to the world like that. You could argue that he just doesn’t think before he speaks, but… I can’t fully accept that. Does he not know tact? Something about it just felt… off.

(Might I remind you that a similar thing happened to Daesung at his 2018 tour finale in Hawaii, only worse – no band, no dancers. But he brushed it off as “visa issues” and that was that. No one questioned it too deeply and there was no resulting fandom uproar. I don’t think he wanted us to take up the fight for him, and I greatly respect that.)

I know everyone likes to pretend Seungri is this cute clumsy baby panda but I’ve never bought into that act, I always thought it was a bit cringey; he’s an intelligent, grown man who’s been doing this professionally for over a decade and he had to have known the reaction his jokes and half-truths would evoke in an audience who loves him to pieces and would do anything for him. I think he’s well aware of the power he wields over us. I believe he wanted that outpouring of sympathy, and in the end he got it. He played the victim and donned a sense of vulnerability and his fans lapped it up and went to war for him… it ticked me off back then. It still does now.

I… don’t know why I did an about-face and fought so hard for him throughout February and March. As much as his pity ploys have always rubbed me the wrong way, I guess even I wasn’t fully immune in the end (I just googled “pity ploy” to make sure I was getting that right and it took me straight to articles about narcissists… damn, that’s a little too close for comfort). Even in his Chosun interview in March, it was all me, me, me, I’m scared, I don’t know anything, how am I supposed to live from now on? A part of me responded to that, just as another part of me was repulsed by it. Then, in addressing the molka vids, he allegedly cautioned JJY, “Don’t do that stuff, you’ll get in trouble.” And I thought, wait, hold up. Not because… it’s wrong? Because it’s hurting people? Because it’s destroying lives? And the text message he sent to reporters, angry about the invasion of his privacy. Oh, the irony.

If reading this gives you the impression that I never liked Seungri, that’s not it. I did like Seungri. I wouldn’t have written so much fic about him if I didn’t. A tiny, pocket-sized part of me still cares about the guy, god. But my feelings toward him have always run hot and cold. He was an acquired taste. There were things I liked him and things I didn’t. I’ve always said that while he’s interesting to watch from a distance, he’s not someone I would ever be friends with IRL. No, I never got a “bad feeling” about him like so many others are saying lately, it’s just that our personalities, lifestyles, and values are at odds with each other. I respected him as an entertainer because I enjoyed his music, voice, and dancing, but was fairly confident that given the opportunity, we would never get along in close proximity – not for long anyway.

Moving on… it’s not just the evidence we’ve been shown throughout the course of the investigation that’s slowly nudged me away from him, it’s also how he’s conducted himself in his defense. In the early stages I enjoyed that he was putting up a fight, in a legal sense. It was entertaining. But once he began giving interviews… once he presented himself to the press, presumably without a PR rep to help him polish his statements… I haven’t much liked what I’ve seen. The character of Seungri has fallen away; this is Lee Seunghyun we’re faced with now. And I can’t say I’m impressed by this brazen display of self-interest. Why should I give him any more of my emotional energy when he doesn’t seem to give a flip about the women he and his friend group have wronged in such awful ways… I’m sorry, Seungri, but any sympathy I once had for you has finally run dry.