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smolvenger · 11 months ago

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Reading these on December hits even better!

Please Henry, Jonathan Fine, Jaguar! Tom, Caius Martius Coriolanus, spoil me with gifts and kisses and mango rides for Christmas pspspspspsps

How Tom Hiddleston Characters Would Spend the Winter Holidays (Plus Presents They Would Give You)

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

A/N: I hope you all have/have had a wonderful holidays! Wishing you all a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Characters in this listicle include: Will Ransome, King Henry V, Prince Hal, Prince Loki of Asgard, Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim, Bill Hazeldine, Caius Martius Coriolanus, Jonathan Pine, Robert Laing, Magnus Martinsson, Oakley, Thomas Sharpe, and Jaguar Villain Tom Hiddleston

Will Ransome from The Essex Serpent

• For Will, celebrating the holidays would most certainly include a special service at the church on Christmas morning. The bells would ring, inviting everyone in Aldwinter to gather. Will would read from the scriptures for all to hear. Then, the choir would perform a series of carols, and Will would sit in the pew along with the rest of the attendees. Offering you a genuine smile, he would gently hold your hand while the choir sang.

• After the service came to an end, Will would offer you his coat if you seemed cold, gently draping it around your shoulders while you walked home together. If you needed anything for the Christmas dinner or for the night

• And in the evening, Will would watch you prepare Christmas dinner for the both of you. He wouldn't know much about cooking, but he would happily stand near you and talk to you, keeping you company while you toiled. Then, he would recite a small prayer thanking

• Christmas present Will would give you? Perhaps a simple gold pendant with a small gemstone like a diamond or an emerald. After supper, he'd approach you and whisper "Happy Christmas" while placing the necklace around your neck, pushing your hair out of the way.

King Henry V from The Hollow Crown

• On Christmas morning, King Henry V would attend a special service at the church alongside you, his beloved queen.

• After the service, you and Henry would distribute alms (food, clothes, candles) among the poor citizens in the kingdom. According to the king, even the lowest are deserving of a proper Christmas

• Then, you and Henry would either take a carriage ride around the snow-laden city, waving to the citizens and wishing them a happy Christmas

• Or, you and the King of England would spend the rest of the afternoon inside your chambers, snuggled together by the fire with Henry resting his head on your lap while you caressed his auburn curls.

• Christmas present Henry would give you? A beautiful new red or blue gown with a set of gold jewelry.

Prince Hal from The Hollow Crown

• Drinks! (Shots, shots, shots, shots - alright, I'll stop and retrieve my maturity)

• But truly, Christmas would be a time for Hal to indulge in all sorts of mischief in the tavern, including snagging Falstaff's most precious stash of liquor.

• He'd dare any willing patron to outdrink him, in the process getting them to do all sorts of stupid things like sing silly bards or flirt with someone.

• By the time you found your beloved prince, he'd probably be heavily tipsy with endless amounts of energy and whisky on his breath. As soon as he saw you, he'd jubilantly hug you and kiss you on the lips.

• Christmas present Hal would give you? A small gold ring, perhaps one with a ruby, that you could wear either around your neck or around your finger

Prince Loki of Asgard from Thor:

• While Asgard doesn't celebrate Christmas per se, there would be plenty of Yule celebrations in the kingdom. As a prince and member of the royal family, Loki would be present at each of the important feasts, dressed in his signature emerald green robes and golden armor.

• He would have to listen to Odin and Thor drone about their various accomplishments - many of them brutish in nature - over the past year, entertaining the guests before the entrees could be served. But at least, Loki could entertain himself by enchanting Thor's cutlery to run away from the table, or by playing a trick that hypnotized Thor into speaking gibberish out of nowhere.

• Odin was not pleased with the amount of laughter from the guests directed at Thor

• But other than that, Loki would find reasons to enjoy the holiday season in Asgard - he would

• Yule Present that Loki would give you? A beautiful tiara embellished with emeralds and diamonds. For his rightful queen.

Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim from Avengers: Infinity War

• In the days leading up to Christmas, Loki would find himself unwillingly stuck with Thor shopping around Midgard. It turned out that Thor was part of something called "Secret Santa" with the Avengers, where each of them had to buy a present for someone randomly assigned to them. Thor was given Wanda Maximoff, so he was combing through the shopping malls around New York City to find something for her.

• "Yes, yes, buy everything on the rack," Loki sarcastically remarked while Thor eyed a rack of gift baskets filled with soaps, bath oils, and body lotions. "It's not like you have a servant to carry your bags around for you."

• "Cheer up, brother! It's the season for joy…Do you want to sit on Santa Claus's lap?"

• But there was one reason Loki always tagged along with his brother's visits to Midgard in December: you

• While Thor was hanging out with the other Avengers, Loki would visit you - especially when you had days off from work or school - at your home.

• He'd arrive at the outside of your window, holding a bouquet of poinsettias or a bag of Christmas-themed candy for you to enjoy.

• And then, you and Loki would walk hand-in-hand through the town, admiring the colorful decorations. Loki personally wouldn't have cared for them a few years ago, but seeing your face light up with adoration made his heart absolutely warm with joy.

• On Christmas day, Loki even surprised you with a horse-driven carriage ride. He proudly showed up at your place, wearing his signature green robes and golden armor, as befitting a true prince of Asgard. Loki took your hand and seated you next to him, an arm around your shoulder. At the end of the carriage ride, he sweetly kissed you on the lips and murmured, "Merry Christmas, darling."

• Present that Loki would give you? A collection of your favorite books, with hidden notes handwritten by Loki between the pages.

Bill Hazeldine from Suburban Shootout

• For Bill, Christmas is a time to be with the ones you love. He'd be happy to have you visit Little Stempington and meet his parents

• You might be a little intimidated at first, but Bill would assure you many times that his parents would like you

• You were courteous to bring his mother a box of French macarons since Bill told you his mum enjoyed French cuisine. And for his dad, you brought a bottle of liquor, which made him laugh.

• His mother thought you were a gem compared to Jewel, and his father jokingly said you were out of Bill's league ("you better hold onto this one, son. Don't let her get away.")

• After meeting his parents, Bill would take a chance to get some alone time with you in his bedroom, showing you things from his childhood - toys, trophies, rugby jerseys. You laughed and "aww'd" at the sight of one of the photos in his room; it was a one-year-old Bill wearing a nappy and crawling with a smile.

• Bill would chuckle, putting his arm around your amd stealing a kiss...only for his mother to walk in. (It didn't help that his dad loudly reminded Bill to "use protection")

• Still, you and Bill would have a lovely time with Bill's parents, getting to know each other better and helping prepare Christmas dinner for the four of you.

• Christmas gift Bill would give you: a snow globe with a waltzing couple inside it, and a silver bracelet he picked out

Coriolanus from Coriolanus

• Coriolanus was always a serious man. Even when you came into his life and he married you, he was serious - hardly indulging himself in things like wine or opium

• (The one exception was you, his darkest kryptonite. Coriolanus couldn't seem to get enough of you, holding you close whenever you were in the same room. He just had to come to you and touch you and kiss you.)

• On the morning of the festivities, Coriolanus woke you up with a long, slow kiss. "Io Saturnalia," you cooed, slowly opening your eyes.

• He'd absolutely refuse to participate in the traditions he viewed as ludicrous, such as cross-dressing and the reversal of roles. But he would be more than happy to stand at the balcony with you and watch the plebians indulge themselves in shenanigans.

• And when he got tired of watching masters serve their slaves, and people breaking all sorts of rules in various states of intoxication, Coriolanus would pepper your neck with kisses and beckon you to your shared bedroom.

• BRIEF SMUT ALERT

• Whispering sweet nothings in your ear, he'd take the opportunity to kiss you all over

• With a naughty grin, he'd place you on the bed and lift the hem of your garment up to your hips and pleasure you with his tongue.

• It was an act considered vulgar among most people, so why not do it on the day of no rules? It was Coriolanus's one and only indulgence about it

• END OF SMUT (and time for me to atone for my sins)

• Saturnalia gift Coriolanus would give you? Perhaps a small trinket - like a small statue of Venus - or a new dress that made you look like a goddess.

Jonathan Pine from The Night Manager

• Christmas was always a busy night for Jonathan, one that he would always choose to work without question. There would be lots of guests looking for rooms to stay durng their vacations, honeymoons, and holiday getaways.

• Still, he would find a way to have some alone time with you, even if it meant you visiting the front desk at 2 in the morning to see him.

• Jonathan would give you the gift he'd bought a few days ago, you would give him a set of cufflinks or a new tie for him to wear.

• Taking your hand, Jonathan would lead you to one of the hotel lounges (finding an empty suite would be highly unlikely given the amount of guests) to share a bottle of wine and some dinner, just the two of you.

• You'd both raise a glass to the holidays, and enjoy each other's company, talking about anything and everything.

• Christmas gift Jonathan would give you: A local piece of decoration from one of the local markets (like a small cowbell from Switzerland) and a box of sweets

Robert Laing from High-Rise

• Christmas with Robert Laing would most certainly include accompanying him to one of Royal's parties (parties held by the so-called "architect" of the high-rise building)

• You would get dressed up on Christmas Eve, wearing something fancy for the occasion, before Robert picked you up at your place

• At the party, the two of you would be near each other for the most part. And after a drink or two, Robert would get a bit more...flirty with you, stealing kisses from you while you conversed with the other guests and inviting you to the dance floor

• ("I've got a lovely lady on my arm," he'd tell them with a chuckle. "Can't really help it.")

• Robert would show off his dance moves, especially the ones that he knew would make you laugh. For someone who didn't laugh much, Robert sure enjoyed seeing you smile.

• And during the slow songs, Robert would melt a little on the inside when you rested your head against his chest and swayed with him.

• He'd take the opportunity to whisper, "Merry Christmas, darling....why don't you say we have a party of our own? Do a little...unwrapping before we celebrate?"

• Giggling, you would follow Robert into the bathroom -or just go to Robert's apartment - and...celebrate, just enough for the other guests to hear.

• Christmas present Robert would give you: probably something elegant Iike perfume or a gift basket of lotions, soaps and body washes.

Magnus Martinsson from Wallander

• The police station was having their own Christmas party, which was really nothing more than some alcohol and pudding

• (Wallander warned the officers not to drink too much in case there was an emergency...but who was listening?)

• Magnus brought you to the party as his date, and had an almost-protective arm around you while you mingled with his colleagues.

• After some insisting from you, he'd dance with you to some of the holiday songs playing on the radio, twirling you so you could show off your pretty red dress.

• Christmas present that Magnus would get you? A vinyl record of one of your favorite songs or recordings.

Oakley from Unrelated

• You originally thought that Oakley would be going with his family to their Italian vacation home to spend Christmas while you stayed with your family, so it was a surprise when Oakley insisted on inviting you to accompany them.

• You agreed on a compromise, that you would join Oakley for Christmas and spend New Year's with your family

• While the two of you were in Italy, Oakley took on the role of "tour guide", giving you his personal insight while he showed you around the city. (And totally not bragging about how much Italian he knows)

• And he would make sure to show off in front of you every chance he got, especially if it involved something that made you laugh

• His father seemed to like you, and for once, they thought that Oakley might finally get some maturity now that he has a wonderful lady for a girlfriend.

• On Christmas morning, Oakley would sneak into your bedroom with a panetonne for the two of you to share with coffee, expecting to be paid with kisses

• The two of you would spend the rest of the day with Oakley's friends, playing "spin the bottle", "Truth or Dare"...all while getting very, very drunk.

• Christmas present that Oakley would give you? A bottle of Italian liqueur like limoncello (that you will hopefully ask him to help you drink), a framed photo of the two of you (so you can have a "piece of him" whereever you go), and a kiss under some mistletoe

Thomas Sharpe from Crimson Peak

• After spending Christmas morning with his sister at Allerdale Hall, Thomas would go to visit you in the city.

• The two of you would enjoy a horse-drawn carriage ride through the streets of London, enjoying the crisp, winter weather.

• And in the evening, Thomas would escort you to a Yuletide Ball that he and his sister- as well as your family - were invited to.

• Like a gentleman, he would pick you up from your residence, assuring your family that he would get you to the ball without any harm

• The two of you would spend the evening at the ball, waltzing in each other's arms, with Thomas praising your beauty throughout the night and whispering how he cannot wait to be your husband one day

• Christmas gift that Thomas would give you? A beautiful locket with portraits of you and him inside

Jaguar Villain!Tom Hiddleston

• Tom absolutely loves to spoil you, his lady love and his darling, even during the holidays.

• Starting in early December, he'd give the bodyguard he hired for you a Black Visa card specifically to buy anything you looked at - jewelry, shoes, designer gowns, cosmetics, special chocolates, anything

• Tom wouldn't display any overt interest in "decking the halls" or "getting into the holiday spirit" but he would certainly give his associates and henchmen Christmas or Hannukah bonuses

• And he would totally let you decorate the apartment however you pleased, even if it means coming home to a "winter wonderland" every night.

• Christmas Day would be exclusively his time with you (and he would not take no for an answer)

• In the morning, he'd wake you up with a room filled with gifts for you, and plenty of kisses with your morning tea/coffee

• Seeing the amount of presents he bought for you, you would feel a little intimidated about giving him the tie and watch you bought for him.

• But Tom would immediately love it as soon as he opened your gift, promising to wear it as often as possible.

• After spending the afternoon with you in the bedroom...thanking you for your gift, Tom would take you out for the night, giving you a chance to get dressed up for him.

• He'd reserve a fancy dinner for the two of you, having the five-star restaurant book a private room so you could enjoy your meal

• Then, the two of you would go to the theater to see either a production of The Nutcracker, or a production of Shakespeare's Henry V - whichever you preferred.

• Christmas gift that Jaguar!Tom would give you? Without a doubt, he'd buy lingerie that he believe would suit you the best, and anything else that would even seem to tickle your fancy.

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