#still INCREDIBLY proud of this lol. took FOREVER to make haha

[gaywario420]

!!!!!!! hold on, theres one very awesome thing i havent posted !!!!!!!

CHECK THIS SHIT :]]]]] DRAGON VIKARE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 https://www1.flightrising.com/dragon/74900919

[thelonelyshore-if]

(I've just now realized you might not check reblogs so I'm copy/pasting my response into the ask box at the risk of becoming Very Annoying because I'd feel worse if you didn't see it at all)

I'm not upset with you or anon, so no need for apologies (though I do appreciate it, you're so sweet)! I just love these characters so much, I want to be able to enjoy them alongside everyone else, which is why I tried (and failed) to come up with my own scenario.

Having the ROs react to outfits they picked for MC is such a cute idea! I hate shopping for anything, so having help clothes shopping would be such a blessing to me.

Hehehe, I'm glad you like the nickname! Literally came up with it to antagonize (affectionate) Willow with. I can't wait for the banter, I just know it's going to be so good! I'm also looking forward to some answers. I have my theory about what was going on, so I'm interested to see if I'm right (or at least close).

Howdy!! Sorry it took me a Minute to answer this, life has been.....a lot lmao. But I finally am getting to asks so!!

First off, you're definitely not being annoying. I do usually see reblogs, but don't always comment on them with any thoughts I have. But I love reading them!

I'm forever fascinated and excited by the idea that y'all have your own theories--it makes me even more hyped to dig into things. I can't wait to see how close you all end up being...and hope it's still fun regardless <3

Now!! Onto the fun part. Reactions to MC in clothes the ROs picked out under the cut c:

Beck- would get into dressing up MC no questions asked. They love fashion, even though their own fashion sense leans towards athleisure/casual, and would enjoy peppering MC with questions about what sort of clothes they like. When they saw MC show off the look they picked out they'd be hyped as hell--super proud and boastful, lol. Like..."I knew you'd look incredible. I'm good."

Croft- personally hates going shopping (busy, bright, loud), but loves fashion. It would probably even out and they'd be pretty excited to pick something out for MC. Their own style is fairly alt and they'd definitely try to pick out something similar for MC. And they'd be pleased with the results...even if the particular style isn't necessarily MC's usual lol.

Jay- depends--F!Jay would have fun with dressing MC up and would feel flattered and a little flustered with the results. Like...she'd get to see MC in the outfit she picked. Similar enough to in her own clothes that it would make her heart beat faster. M!Jay though is...not very fashion savvy. He'd be kind of shy about it, worried he'd pick something out that MC wouldn't like haha.

Perri- would get really excited about it, I think! Darting from store to store trying to find something that's perfect. They really love accessories so that would be their favorite part--trying to find something that feels like it fits MC. And once MC tried on the outfit they'd be sooooo excited. Just like, omg you look great ;.;

Ravi- have you considered an oversized vintage sweater? perhaps some beige slacks? lol Ravi is not the most imaginative. If he was tasked with picking out/buying an outfit for MC he'd essentially either a) just put together something he'd wear or, b) go with the classics. Much like in the demo lmao--just a sweatshirt and jeans. Comfy and simple.

Yasmin- would be the most excited out of everyone. She enjoys going to Easthaven's mall as well as 'thrifting' in the town's many, many antique and second-hand stores. She'd drag MC all around town trying to put together the perfect outfit. She'd also be peppering MC with questions throughout, to make sure she picked something that made them feel comfortable and that they liked.

[soopticboop]

Hey boop! It's that time again of checking up on you and seeing how things are😅

I just saw your post about the HDWGH era here and it brought back so many memories.

It truly was an incredible time here and this little family that we created was a safe space for me, and interacting with you all brought me so much joy🌸

I sat in my room and waited for jacks video to be uploaded (I kept refreshing the page, lol) so that after we could all discuss and make memes about it and just have fun.

I have left the community here on tumblr a few years ago due to school and very important exams that would determine if I would get into the university of my choice (I did it, art school woo!!) so studying took up a lot of my time, and not having been active for so long made me feel kind of disconnected from everyone and I felt like I was back to zero. But I knew that all the amazing memories we all shared together would always be with me forever.

Sometimes I have the urge to log back into my old jse account and talk to everyone again, but since so much time has passed I feel like it would not be pleasant for you guys😅

I am so glad to have been there with you when you first opened up your etsy store, and I am more thrilled to have bought one of your first pieces that I see on my wall right now, the place it never left since :))

You are an incredible and special person boop, and you have no idea how much you have helped me when I needed someone to just be there. I miss you lots and know that I will always be rooting for you💛

Oh man this is the loveliest message 😭😭 I actually really needed to hear something like this today so sincerely thank you!! It means the world to me 🥰

Congrats on art school!!! That’s absolutely sensational, you should be SO proud of yourself!!

And yes omg the HDWGH era was unparalleled 🥺 I also used to sit at my computer and refresh haha, it was always just so so fun!! I still watch all of Jacks videos but I’m usually a couple of days behind because of work! But regardless, i like to think that it was one big happy family, especially back in the day! I often wonder about old tumblr friends who are no longer active and hope they’re doing well🥰

And aww man, thank you for your kind words about my Etsy shop!! I’ll never ever forget how nervous and excited I was when I opened it and I was so overwhelmed with such kind people ordering my little drawings! It’s been like what, 3 years since I opened it?? Coming up on 4?? So so wild. I love every second of my Etsy adventure 🥰

Thank you for checking in!! It’s genuinely so kind and made me smile! Have yourself a great day! 🥰✌🏻

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[missblissy]

What about Alastor with a very powerful s/o who is really soft with the people at the hotel, and angel dust is her best friend

((THIS WAS A LOT OF FUN!!! I loved exploring this setting and dynamic! It reminded me a lot of my own OC QvQ Excuse me for self indulging, but it was so much fun and I made it angsty lol, don’t give me the choice/option to do so because I will always make it angsty. Anyways, Enjoy!!))

At first, a lot of the residents feared you, after all you were one of the most powerful demons in Hell, and for whatever reason, you had followed your idiot husband into this Happy Hotel. And you didn’t really like anyone there at first. But you began to open up to them.’

While many people feared you on the battleground, you were incredibly kind and sweet which confused people as to how on earth someone as nice as you ended up with a guy like Alastor. You were so kind, you always made time for whoever needed you. 

In some cases, Charlie would come to you with question about her father (You knew him well) And how she struggled with the weight he was putting on her shoulders. You’d encourage her to stay strong, do her best, and always believe in herself. 

In other cases, Angel would come to you, bored out of his mind and dying for something to do. You’d happily offer to go into the city with him. It turns out Angel was a secret shopaholic, and so were you... Haha, so it was pretty often that the two of you would walk into the hotel with dozens of bags dangling from your arms. Good thing Angel had some extras to spare!

Now, there was just one teeny tiny itty bitty little problem. The more you hung around your new friends, especially Angel, the more... bitter Alastor became. He was a little bit of petty and big bit of possessive, mixed with an odd sense of jealousy. He was so jealous in a way that didn’t make sense for anyone else but himself. 

And really? It only bothered him when you hung around Angel. Not because he thought Angel would ‘steal’ you away from him, simply because Alastor wanted to be the only one that made you smile like that. He wanted to be the only one who could get you to giggle behind your hand and roll your eyes at a stupid joke. 

Simply put, Alastor didn’t like sharing. It even started a fight between the two of you one day, “I just don’t understand it!” Alastor exclaimed, “He’s dirty, he’s disgusting! He’s just- ugh! Not clean at all! Why do you even bother to lower someone as mighty as yourself to spend time with... him?” Alastor made a face of disgust as he spoke to you. 

And you angerly defended Angel, “Because he’s still a person, Alastor! We’re all people deep down inside! All of us were humans once, and all of us ended up here because of the shitty things we’ve done. Maybe if you got to know Angel, you’d realize that the two of you have a lot in common!”

“Oh don’t compare me to him, we’re nothing alike. I’m an artist, an entertainer, a skilled master! I have class and grace. Angel is just a horny little worm wriggling in his own filth-”

“You’re a cannibal and a serial killer who chose to kill himself than rather face his crimes in the slammer! You took the cowards way out so don’t act so mighty and proud,” Your words were cold as ice and were enough to cause Alastor’s smile to drop, “If you knew anything about Angel, you’d know he’d more than just the glitz and glam of the world he’s buried himself in. You have your vices too, you could at least understand that,”

“I don’t want to understand anything,” He said calmly but there wasn’t a smile on his face anymore, there was a frown growing there and even a smear of anger, “I just don’t want to share you with him!” His words were harsh and loud as he yelled, “You’ve been mine for so long and you spend so much time with everyone else! I never get to see you anymore, it was always just us! Only us! I want to stay that way! I don’t want to lose you to these... idiots! I’ve never seen you care about others like this before and it scares me, dammit it! I thought I was the only one you cared about!”

You started to realize that Alastor’s feelings were petty but valid. You always believed everyone was entitled to their feelings. Maybe you had been spending a lot of time with Angel, and maybe you had been putting the others before Alastor, he was your husband after all. You stared at him, he was so angry and it showed all over his face, “I’m sorry,” Your apology surprised him, “I didn’t mean to make you feel like,” You slowly walked towards him, close the distance between the two of you.

You held out your hands, palms facing up words. Alastor glared his gaze down and you watched him calm down and place his hands upon yours, “I’m not going anywhere,” You told him with a soft smile, you took one hand and traced it along his cheek with your thumb tracing under his eye, “I promise. I’m sorry for not making enough time for you,” He pressed his cheek into your hand and you watched him almost rib his face against your hand like a kitten would.

His anger melted away and he was smiling again, you loved the smile, twisted and as psychotic as it was, you loved it all, “You will always have my heart,” You told your husband while taking his hand that was still holding yours and placed it upon your chest, “In this life and the next-” 

Alastor’s smile grew at your words and he completed your sentence, “Under every star in the sky, among the moon and the night-” 

Then you continued on, “I give my heart to you and you alone,” The two of you stepped closer together, getting tangled up in each other’s arms

And then together you said, “Forever yours, always in spirit, may our souls forever be entwined until the end of days, with love carrying us all the way,” You were inches away from his lips and you stole that kiss with a heated love that burned alive tenfold. You always knew that reciting your vows was one of Alastor’s weakness. He just couldn’t stay mad at you when those words escaped your lips. And he couldn’t get enough of that sweet tangy taste of breath on his as he stole kiss after kiss. 

[amyscascadingtabs]

2020 in writing

tagged by the wonderful @feeisamarshmallow and @b99peraltiago! thank you, this took me seriously three hours but it was fun. 

tagging whoever has three hours to spare!! but i’d love to see @amydancepants-peralta, @letsperaltiago, @johnny-and-dora, and @fezzle do this, although no pressure because this took me the entire evening. 

1. List of works published this year

oh god this is going to take forever...

i’ll walk through hell with you, chapter 5, 6 & 7

all the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

a single kiss and i’m under your spell

paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

dust off your highest hopes

i can’t see the future, but i know that it’s there

look now, the sky is gold

look at where we are, look at where we started

bracing for the winds i always summon

just know that i’m already home

there’s magic everywhere you go

we’ve found a love to cross the ages

all my days, i’ll know your face

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

(three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life

if devotion is a river, then i’m floating away

when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)

evermore

i am not a stranger to the dark

in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you

rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

21 works!! 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why)

I am really really proud of finishing i’ll walk through hell with you, that’s still one of the highlights in my writing “career”. bracing for the winds i always summon and (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, because they were both longer works with a lot of introspection that focused a lot on jake and amy’s feelings about upcoming parenthood. especially the last one I still love dearly. i’m also really proud of the fics i wrote all from rosa’s perspective (paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans and when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)).

3. Work you are least proud of (and why)

none! I guess a few of them are shorter and written way quicker than some others, but I always take that into consideration when “evaluating” how proud I am of them so no. personally, I’m proud of everything in different ways. 

4. A favourite except of your writing

referring to the creator tag meme for this where I posted excerpts from the five works I’m most proud of!

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received

questions like these remind me that I need to start saving my favorite reviews somewhere! that’s a goal for 2021, haha. but every comment that have listed their favorite moments in the fic I reread like five times over and smile every time, and all the comments people left me on the last chapter of i’ll walk through hell with you were so wonderful. and the rosa fic. and the -

you know what, I just started reading through old comments and I can’t pick one, it feels too unfair to all the other incredible ones I ’ve gotten. so. all of them!!!! I love you guys!!

I will mention this one that someone sent me in the middle of summer, during a period when I wasn’t writing or publishing so it ended up meaning that much more for that reason as well. comment on look at where we are, look at where we started (in the brief period of time when we thought peraltiago baby would be named Leo)

“Idk why, but the way Jake was talking to Leo made me wonder if my parents ever talked to me like that right after I was born. I've been told the story of my birth every birthday since I was born, so I know it by heart, but despite the countless Peraltiago baby fics and other fandom baby fics I've read, this is the one that made me wonder what my parents were thinking when I was born. And then it made me wonder what I'm gonna think when I give birth to a kid, or if I adopt a kid.” like, I was just so floored that something I wrote made someone reflect so deeply on their own life. and I want to underline that I have so so many favourite reviews but yes, this one stuck with me!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard

this summer was the hardest it’s ever been. first the (rightful) hesitance and reflection that followed the BLM protests and then some trauma and deep depression added onto that for me was… yeah. it took a really long time to find real joy in it again. 

7. A scene of characters you wrote that surprised you

Jake and Rosa’s friendship in i am not a stranger to the dark! I’ve written a bit of Rosa and Amy and feel quite comfortable with their friendship and dynamic but far less of Jake and Rosa! 

“At least this is still way better than... that.” “Literally everything is better than prison.” “True that.” Rosa looks up at the tv, realizing she’s missed at least ten minutes of the movie already. “I’m glad we got out.” “Sometimes it still feels like a part of me didn't,” Jake says, quietly. “You ever feel that way?” “Sometimes,” she admits. “We did, though. That's what's important.”

Rosa can hear someone talking in the background on the other end, and Jake mumbling something back in reply. “I have to go,” he tells her, and it makes her a little sad, because he's good company. “I can't miss dinner. Wouldn't want to piss off the entirety of my fiancées family before I’ve even married her, right?”

8. How did you grow as a writer this year?

I wrote more Rosa! that’s probably the single thing which helped me grow most, because she’s arguably a much harder character to write than Jake and Amy, since most of the time you really have no clue what she’s thinking. I have to think a lot harder about how Rosa thinks and feels and reacts to things and I feel like that makes me a better writer overall. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year?

I don’t have any big expectations tbh. I know next year is going to take so much of my energy “”professionally”” or well, study-wise, so I think it’s the wrong year to set ambitious creative writing goals for me. then there’s also the inevitable fact that I’ve written a whopping ninety-nine stories for this show now and I’m always asking myself for how long it will last. there was a point in april-may where I thought it was going to be the end and during the entire summer as well. so… we’ll see. I don’t have any WIP I’m aching to finish right now. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta of cheerleader or muse etc. etc.)?

@fezzle, @johnny-and-dora, @vernonfielding, @amydancepants-peralta, @feeisamarshmallow, @amazingsantiago and @letsperaltiago all deserve their own shoutouts here for various reasons!! (if you want to know more about why just message me!) 

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year?

always, in different ways in how I relate to the characters and different feelings and moments and experiences that would take way too long to explain. but if I could choose one fic it would be paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans. I worked through a lot of feelings about a breakup I went through in this one and they were ones I hadn’t really had the chance to let myself feel before writing this. It isn’t similar to how my breakup went, at least I didn’t mean for it to be and haven’t put any intentional similarities in there (although I guess there are a few if you look for them) but some of the things Rosa thinks, says and feels after being broken up with were quite personal. i am not a stranger to the dark and the way it focuses on healing after trauma was also partly personal although way much less obviously so because the experiences are quite different lol.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

make writer friends! talk to other writers! you’ll both learn so much and it makes writing and developing fics so much more fun!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I currently have zero WIP and zero real plans so genuinely who knows. all depends on what my life will look like and what s8 will bring us! 

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year

all the favourite five, but maybe when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet). I think it’s a great complement to the Rosa and Amy action we saw in season 7 and it has a lot of peraltiago from someone else’s viewpoint as well. 

15. Year word count

are you kidding meeeee okay here we go.

okay, so adding everything I’ve published this year together… 111 283 words.

😳 😳 😳 

DEAR GOD.

additional trivia: the shortest fic was 651 words (evermore), the longest if you exclude the three chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you (they are 24.6k together though) (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, and the average word count for a fic of mine this year was 5 299 or 4 838 words, depending on whether you count the chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you as one or three works. that makes sense because i feel like i’ve written a loot of fics around that length this year! 

[ziracona]

What are the ilm survivors (+ Philip, anna, and brain-cell wielding legion) favorite foods and drinks, do you think?? If that's a big question then would you mind me asking a few Philip hcs, or hcs for Philip and Anna as friends?? :0

Haha, I actually answered this just the other day here in this ask, although just for survivors + Philip, so I’ll add Anna and Legion here. Brain-cell wielding I’m not sure if means Susie, or Susie and Joey, since I’ve said in the past Susie took the brains and left, and now the rest of them only have half a cell between them, that somehow Joey is constantly the one in possession of, so I’ll answer for both the more-good kiddos. : )

Anna is interesting. Kinda like my poor boy Mikey, she’s had very little experience with food that actually tastes good or complicated (tho she has had at least twice the taste experience he’s had because Michael’s had like--prison mush and nothing since age six TuT).  She’s never really had anything but meat and fruit and some vegetables, all with very little variance or flavoring, because she had no one to teach her how to cook, and experimenting with spices would not have been high on her to-do list if she’d even thought of it, so like, being in reality is insanely cool for her when it comes to food. First time eating pizza? A spiritual experience. Min’s curry? Heaven. Nea makes her empanadas, Quentin does some really nice spaghetti with garlic bread? She could die. Because she’s so excited and everything is so new, it’s hard to say she’s got one favorite? She really likes anything unusual to her, so anything complicated, spicy, sweet, with nice texture, etc. And she is constantly discovering new favorites all the time. She also loves just trying all kinds of things, because it’s such a wild new experience for her. That all said, she does really like meat still, just because physically, her body is used to a diet of almost nothing but fresh meat, berries, and the occasionally wild gourd, fern, onion, cabbage, etc kind of thing, and so that’s what it wants to make it feel healthy. One of her favorite stables is a kind of hommade jerky that Alan Smith makes, actually. It’s something he did forever ago, when Quentin was a kid, and does again on request, cutting meat into strips, seasoning, and smoking it to cure out in the shed. The kind of meat doesn’t really matter, so long as it’s lean, because it’s the seasoning and smoking process that makes it taste super good and also have a really pleasant texture. She also loves Garlic though like Anna is very happy about the sudden addition of garlic into her life. Garlic bread. Mmm. Likes chocolate a lot and especially kinds with like hard shells and melted insides, because complex texture is such a wonder to her. Is constantly fascinated by new things, like seeing a doughnut, or a milkshake, or cotton candy, or a pie, or really anything for the first time, and very game to try things out. Not polite at all though, because polite about food is not a concept she has learned, and will not hesitate to very visibly express if she thinks something tastes like crap. For drinks, water was like, the only thing she really had before, until Min and Quentin in the realm, and she similarly likes things that are complicated or weird in texture and sweet. She likes Hot Chocolate and thick, cold things like smoothies or slurpies and such especially. Again though, unfortunately for the girl, her body is like “Uhm. The fuck is this?” if she consumes copious amounts of refined sugar, so she has to kind of work up to stuff like a slushie or she’ll get incredibly sick, and it’s not fair. :’-]  She gets Alan to teach her how he makes his jerky once they’re not super weird around each other, and the first like “I’m going to try cooking now” thing she makes is using the oven to basically make a roast, but with the jerky spices and a shit ton of garlic, and it’s a weird taste, but not bad, just super unexpected for like, a cooked turkey, but she’s extremely proud of it because it’s way better than anything she’s ever cooked before and it was only her first attempt, and she likes to make this and slowly learn and make other things as gifts for her kids. She is very proud of her building knowledge, and fascinated by new details whenever she learns them when it comes to cooking or really any other learnable skill she knew next to nothing about before.

Susie’s favorite drink, hands-down, is Coca-Cola. She’s obsessed with it and loves it. Drinks one a day, almost religiously, as her treat to herself. If she drinks alcohol, it’s almost for sure going to be whiskey and coke if she’s picking, but honestly that’s only if she wants to be drunk. She prefers the taste of coke to any other drink on the planet and it’s worse mixed with alcohol, so for taste, she’d say “You can’t improve upon perfection!” with a big grin and crack open a classic cocacola. Meg doesn’t understand her obsession but thinks it’s ridiculously cute, and will always bring her one home. Likes to get her the glass bottle ones because they are class and more fun to drink from. Susie likes to keep one on hand and pour her two-liter into the glass coke bottle she keeps and drink if from that instead of a normal glass. Don’t judge her. It’s a small happiness she gives herself. She just really likes cocacola. Susie’s favorite food would be harder to pick, but it might be pizza? Wildly, she would be the first character to pick that. But really good pizza, like, with a high sauce radio and a brookly-style or not super thick type crust? Man, with the right toppings, it’s pretty heavenly. Also likes fresh peaches and nerds (as in the candy, lol). Don’t judge her.

Joey likes Dr. Pepper the most, and he and Susie have fought about it before, although his enjoyment does not even begin to match her unbridled love for her favorite. Favorite candy is Snickers. He likes the nuts in them and the consistency. Joey also likes pizza a lot, and it would be up there, as would just like, burgers with onion and a lot of lettuce and condiments, but if asked for his favorite food, would probably say spaghetti (another classic choice it is wild to me is only being picked here for the first time). Joey’s family was poor, and spaghetti is one of the few dishes that is super cheap to make and can actually still taste really good while costing nothing, so it was something his mom made a whole lot, and out of the regular dishes she made, it was by far his favorite. Probably pre-realm, he’d have said something else, like a specific type of burger or complicated sandwich--something he only rarely got--but post-realm, he misses his mom and his family lot, so her kind of spaghetti is his favorite as it reminds him of home. Meat is expensive, so she used to cook mushrooms into the tomato sauce she used instead, and he really loves the taste of it like that. They make it a little sweeter and add a nice cooked-carrot consistency to mouthfuls. Tells Jeff how to make it that way, and gets to have it pretty frequently. His second favorite is probably the homemade personal pizzas Jeff makes for them on request. Jeff is a really good baker, and he has a very good pizza crust recipe.  

There you have ‘em! (Also I’m totally happy to do Philip hcs or some about Anna and Philip as friends if you’d like those too ❛∀❛ )

[madmadmilk]

Return to Sender | Tom Holland x Reader

Pairing: Tom Holland x Yours Truly (You)

Summary: A letter made out of love and loyalty. It’s your choice to press post, send, delete, or save to drafts. The only thing we’ll never know is if he decides to read it or not.

Warnings: cursing, (lowkey highkey) angst, and a fair amount of delusion

Word Count: 1.8K over the character count

-

How to read: First Person POV, so read this as yourself first and foremost. Then read this as his good friend, read this as someone who saw him yesterday, read this as someone you haven’t see in a long time, read this as someone who has nevermet him, read this as someone who has only known him through the lens of social media... read this as someone who has a lot to say but will never send it.

-

Hey Thomas,

I must have written this over a thousand times, and I know it’ll never be just right.I just feel weird calling you Tom over this absurdly long, formal message, and Thomas kinda just looked better to me. And, blah, I know this could never change your mind, or make you see me any differently, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

Let’s get the hard part over with.

There’s about three things I’m absolutely positive about. First, you’re amazing. Fucking, brilliant. Second, there’s a part of you–– my wishful thinking, I suppose–– that I know, cares about me or could. And third, hah, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you.

Yeah, I totally just took that from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, but you know what?? I gotta pay homage to how fiction and storytelling has always left a significant impression on me. Fluttery stories of love and hope and strength and cute brunettes–– all leads to you.

And I’m joking and rambling now, I know, but it doesn’t make it mean any less.

I love you.

Truthfully, I don’t even know where thatstarted. Was it when I saw you fight impossible odds during a tsunami as a boy? Or when you trained to spin webs and do back-flips and shit. Did I notice this affection through your first appearance in the MCU? The second, or even the third? Did I realize it when I found your instagram, and finally let myself follow? That time when you mistook your hair gel for toothpaste…? Or when I caught your livestream at the Right Time? When you looked right at me, and I let myself believe?

I don’t think I’ll really ever know whenthis started. I only know what I want and wish to happen now.

Through the videos, posts, movies, interviews and experience, I just… I just feel like you’ve always been there for me. You’ve always been someone I could fall back on–– look back on. I open my phone, and you’re right there. Beneath my fingertips, first in my search bar, bright on my lock screen. You’ve always been.

I look for your voice before I sleep, and I imagine the sights and sounds when I see new pictures of you. All I can do afterwards is wish I were there with you.

That’s all I want.

All I want is to leave an impression on you, to have something that lets you remember me. After that, I can let go and rest forever, if I knew I could mean anything to you.

I draw you, write about you, read about you, dedicate a whole blog to you–– and still wonder if it’s too little or too much.

(Side note: does it weird you out? Seriously, let me know and I’ll halt productions.)

Gah, it’s staggering to think that we are worlds away from one another; that we could meet tomorrow and then never again. Or how often I see your face, and never know how often you see mine––

I don’t let myself think of that most days.

You’ve brought me so much peace and happiness just knowing you.

My view is one-sided and biased and rosy. It’s limited, blurry, and lacking. There’s so much I don’t know about you, so much I wantto know about you.

And that’s what keeps this going.

The hope.

Or some shit.

I wonder if you would tell me if you had a girlfriend, or boyfriend, or someone special. I wonder how that would make me feel, or if that could make these feelings stop…. Hah, but I don’t think that would take anything away from me.

You’ll still be you.

You’ll still be that sticky boy who’s kind and generous and cute and funny and good to his family and friends.

You’ll always be that to me.

Not that I’d refuse to believe that someone else completes you or supports you better than I can, but I’ll always have the warmth you’ve given me. They could love you more than me, be closer to you than me, be better than me, and that’s alright.

Because all I want is for you to be happy.

If you are, then so am I.

And that’s love, I suppose.

It’s something selfless, it’s something that’s kind of like a hobby. You enjoy it and you endure it. You build it, you tear it down. You want to share it, but keep it to yourself. And no matter what happens, you learn and grow from it…

Oof.

I do hope you continue to share these things with me. No real pressure, of course. It’s your life to take control of. You deserve your privacy first and foremost, and time away from the public and social media. You deserve the time to recharge and reorient yourself after long trips and interviews and work hours–– we all do.

I just hope you decide to continue to share the snippets of life that you do.

It’s a lovely world to be a part of.

I love that you share so much with your family and friends. I love seeing your cute lil dog and snaps of places you call home. I love seeing how you spend your night out, and the sporadic nature of it all. I love that you can’t use instagram stories for shit. And I love that you continue to try anyway.

That’s something I’ve always really liked about you.

You don’t give up when you can’t do something. You’ll post the same thing twice to get it right. You keep your cool and roll with the jokes. You laugh at yourself when appropriate. You stand up for yourself when things go too far. You try your best while we all are watching. You try even harder even when we’re not.

I really respect that.

And I’ve gone so far off track from what I came here to say, I don’t even know if you’ve bothered to read this far. There’s just a few more things left, I promise.

I just need to say that I’m sorry for being a pest. For lurking so far up your ass and hitting the bottoms of your feeds so much. For applying more pressure than you need. For reading fakey gossip and making bold assumptions. For forgetting that you’re human just like me.

I’ve made these mistakes, and I don’t know how to make them right. I’m still out here learning too––

And what I’ve realized is that to move forward, I have to  step away.

I see your posts and fawn, and then I have to turn and leave. Suppress the urges to tease and make fun, to shout profanities, to post about what I wish I could do to you or you to me.

A well wish is all I can give you.

“Have a nice day,��� and “Do your best,” is so fucking vanilla but it’s what I want you to hear from me. Something soft, loving and easy.

Something that will undoubtedly go unnoticed.

And I’m fine with that (most days).

You don’t have to acknowledge me, you don’t have to recognize me.

Because I want you, but I don’t.

I don’t know what would happen if thisbecame real. If you suddenly become realto me in my real life. Real, real, real. It’s seriously unimaginable.

Not because I’m me or anything.

But because you’re you.

I can picture myself beside you, but I doubt you could with me.

That sounds so pathetic but–– I don’t know!

I’ll never know, unless youtell me. Or I tell you and you tell me. Or we end up in one of those fanfiction slow-burn roommate!AUs. Unrealistic, but romantic.

And this is the point of it all, I guess.

I want to tell you, “hey! I love you!” because I have to know what could happen next. Not that I’m expecting anything grandiose. I’m just hoping for a chance that you’ll listen to me and accept the feelings I’m giving you.

I just want you to hear me, so I can get rid of it.

So here, take it! Here it is! Do with my heart what you will!

I’m sick of hiding behind a screen, but too scared to show you my face.

Just take this pretty moment, remember me like this, and let me know what you think in 5-7 business days.

I’ll be waiting like I always have. Never too high on my toes or too relaxed in my bed. Leave it all to chance–– Can you believe I don’thave notifications set up for you?

You don’t own me!

And now that I’ve managed to give you a hard time figuring out what to do with my feelings, I’ll move on to the last part.

Happy Birthday, Tom Holland.

I’m so happy to have seen you grow on-screen and off. I’m incredibly proud of your achievements, and baffled by your impact. Keep fucking growing, dude! This is your time to thrive. All with your bare fucking hands. Fucking wild.

I can’t even compare myself to you––

But anyway, I hope you’ve had a nice day or night or whatever the hell. Please get some good rest tonight and tomorrow night, and all the nights onward. Take time to take care of yourself and brush your teeth.

And thank you for being your being here for me.

I hope you can take my words and turn it into strength and support, no matter how you deem to view it. It’s only to remind you that someone cares, after all.

Yeah, so before I dig myself a deeper hole, I’ll end this letter here. A reply would mean the world to me, and even if you don’t, I wouldn’t hold it against you.

You’re a busy guy, I know.

Thanks, Tom.

You have all my love.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly

-

-

-

-

-

A/N: and that’s it!  really raw and kinda exposing who i am lol. You can make your own assumptions of what happened next. What perspective did you read this in? Did you actually send the letter? Did he reply? (is the reply the title of this fic?) Hahaha, I don’t really know what this is. I just felt like writing a love letter. Please let me know what you think! Did it work? Did it make sense? Thanks for reading :)

Please like, comment, reblog, subscribe and turn on bell notifications!! Haha

Peace out ✌🏼

Madmadmilk

[veronicasanders]

Meteor - Chapter 1 (Bitney) - TheDane/Veronica

Hey guys! @theartificialdane and I are thrilled to bring you this Bitney-focused Galactica sequel. For those of you that have not read all 250+ chapters of Galactica (lol, omg, can you believe that?!), here’s a little background just so that you’re caught up (after the jump). For those of you that HAVE, we are picking up with Courtney in Miami 2 days after the wedding.

Back story: In this AU, Bianca is the Editor in Chief of Marie-Claire magazine, with a thing for young blondes, and Courtney is a brand new pop star just beginning to achieve a little success, and cast member of Real Housewives of New York. (Go with us here. Haha.) They’ve been having a rocky time lately, since Courtney is starting to feel like Bianca doesn’t respect her as an equal partner. (She’s not wrong.) The last time we saw Bitney, they had a big fight, and Courtney left for a Miami trip with the Housewives after telling Bianca that she needs “space” for a couple of days to clear her head.

Other background: Adore is Courtney’s best friend and Bianca’s baby sister. She’s in a trouple with Jinkx (a Broadway star and super wealthy heiress) and Alaska (a makeup executive at Miss Fame’s company).

CHAPTER 1

Miami. January.

Courtney looked around the Triple A arena, still in utter shock at the size of the crowd, waving and bowing after her second encore, body aching and drenched with sweat after. By the time she got off stage for good after her concert, her face hurt from smiling so much. She barely remembered the walk to the green room, where she kicked off her heels and collapsed onto a sofa, hoping to rest for a few minutes before changing.

“Sorry I’m so boring right now,” she mumbled to Jane, her Real Housewives producer, who was standing next to the camera crew.

“You’re fine, don’t worry. As you were,” Jane said, giving a rare smile.

Soon, the doors burst open, and Ramona sailed in, trailed by the others, squealing with excitement.

“That was unbelievable!” Ramona cried. Courtney could tell by her speech that she was quite a few pinot grigios in, and beckoned her over to the sofa. The other housewives continued to gush about her performance, even Bethenny. Courtney sighed happily, feeling content and proud despite the exhaustion. Then Ramona leaned over to Courtney and whispered conspiratorially, “Are you ready for a surprise?”

“What kind of surprise?” Courtney asked, hoping it was something edible that didn’t require getting up for a while.

“The kind that only people with human emotions care about,” Bethenny said, rolling her eyes and making Carole laugh.

With two cameras now trained on the green room door, Courtney turned her head to watch. A few moments later, Bianca appeared in the doorway, holding an enormous bouquet of pink roses. Courtney’s mouth opened as Ramona squealed and clapped.

“Are you surprised?!” Sonja asked excitedly. “She flew in this afternoon!”

“I’m-” Courtney took a breath, heart racing. “Yeah, I’m surprised.”

“Hi angel,” Bianca said softly. “You were incredible out there.”

“Thanks.” Courtney swallowed. She really, really didn’t want to drag her current relationship drama into the show, so she supposed that playing along with this intrusion was her best option. She bit back her annoyance - she’d explicitly told Bianca that she needed a break. A couple of days away to clear her head and reconcile how she felt after that bullshit with Farrah. But as usual, they were going to do things according to Bianca’s timeline. Not hers.

Courtney stood and walked to where Bianca stood, kissing her gently on the mouth.

“Awwww!” Dorinda cooed.

“I...I can’t believe you’re here,” Courtney admitted. That part, at least, was honest.

“I planned something special for us,” Bianca told her.

“Right now?” All Courtney wanted, at the moment, was a warm shower and a soft bed. Possibly some french fries, which she fucking deserved.

“You’re gonna love it,” Bianca said, fingers gripping her waist.

“Okay, that’s...I should probably change,” Courtney said, resigned to go along with whatever Bianca (and, she had no doubt, her producers) had in store.

“I mean, if you must,” said Bianca with a wink, eyeing her skimpy costume up and down. Which Courtney would have found cute if she wasn’t still simmering with anger and confusion.

With a weak laugh, Courtney backed up and headed for the dressing room.

***

It was truly beautiful. A private, secluded beach. Thousands of candles. A picnic basket filled with all of her favorite things. And it wasn’t like she didn’t appreciate the sentiment. It was just that, given their current state of affairs, she found it hard to enjoy everything. Adding to the stress of it all were the cameras and her physical exhaustion from the concert.

“I missed you so much,” Bianca said.

“It’s been two days,” Courtney reminded her warily.

“I know. And I haven’t slept since you left New York.”

Courtney sighed. As usual, they weren’t going to talk about her feelings. Only Bianca’s. And of course, she supposed that was her fault, since she didn’t want to get into everything on camera. She didn’t even really know exactly how she felt. Between rehearsing for the concert and dealing with the housewives, she hadn’t actually had a moment to think about her relationship, how she felt, what she wanted - any of it.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Bianca asked.

“Of course,” Courtney said. “I’m...I’m sorry about the way I left.”

“It’s okay, baby,” Bianca murmured, pulling her close. “I’m sorry too. I’m so, so sorry. I should have told you about that idiotic Farrah thing the second it happened.”

“That’s not exactly why I was upset,” Courtney said, hoping that they could talk without getting too specific. “I just…” She sighed again. She was going to lose. She could feel it.

“Please forgive me,” Bianca said, face buried in her hair. “I’m an idiot. I’m such a fucking idiot…”

“Of course I forgive you,” Courtney said, letting Bianca kiss the corners of her mouth, her jaw, her neck. She tilted her head, trying to enjoy the affection without feeling so conflicted.

“Look at me…” Bianca took her chin in her hands and looked into her eyes. “I love you...so fucking much, Courtney. I can’t stand being apart. I can’t stand hurting you. I’m so...all I want is to be with you. Forever.”

“B…” Courtney had longed to hear these words, so many times. But there was a nagging ache in her throat. A lump that she couldn’t swallow down, no matter how much she tried.

When Bianca smiled and pulled a small box out of her jacket, Courtney’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. What was she doing? And why here? Why now?

“I want to spend my life with you,” Bianca said, opening the box to reveal a gigantic diamond ring.

“Is that...is that a real diamond?”

“Of course it is,” Bianca laughed.

It was a diamond so big, Courtney had to blink several times, pinching her thigh, to even believe it was real. A diamond so big that Courtney’s nagging ache turned into white-hot rage. Had Bianca heard a single thing she’d said in the last year about diamonds and murder and slavery? Why had her need to show off become more important than an issue Courtney had talked about over and over?

Courtney pulled back abruptly, brow furrowed. Somehow the ring was easier to focus on than the betrayal of being blindsided like this in front of TV cameras.

“So...now we’re just supporting genocide?!”

“I...what? Baby…” Bianca laughed. “I can switch out the stone. But, I’m telling you that I want to marry you.”

Courtney’s heart sped up as she went over Bianca’s words in her mind. I want...I love...I miss, I want, I can’t stand...I want, I want, I want…

It was always about her. Courtney felt sick.

“Please say yes,” Bianca said.

“Yes to what?” Courtney spit out. “You didn’t ask me a question.”

“I guess I didn’t, did I?” Bianca laughed again, still not getting it. “Courtney Act, will you-”

“Stop,” Courtney whispered, wishing she could turn back time.

“Courtney, I’m trying to-”

“I need to get out of here,” Courtney said, and then turned to Jane, watching intently from behind one of the cameras, loudly repeating, “I need to get out of here!” When no one made a move, she began to rip off her mic pack, voice growing shrill as she exclaimed, “Now! Jane!”

“Courtney-” Bianca began, finally starting to comprehend that tonight wasn’t going according to plan.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this right now,” Courtney knew she had about a minute, if she was lucky, before the tears started, and she wanted to be as far from the cameras as fucking possible when that happened.

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 12 liveblog/review thing

*loud sigh*

i am DREADING watching this episode. one reason is that i don't know if this is the end... the end, forever??? i don't know!!! i really hope not!! ;__; the other reason is that because this is the season finale, i know it's going to be emotional!!! there's no way a free! season finale will not be emotional. the other two were. XD

but i have to watch the episode. as much as i am terrified to watch it... i must. i've got to do it. >__<UUU

so here we go!!!!!

please read my previous liveblogs as well. i've been reacting to everything this season!  (episode 1) (episode 2) (episode 3) (episode 4) (episode 5) (episode 6) (episode 7) (episode 8) (episode 9)  (episode 10) (episode 11) and THANK YOU VERY MUCH to anyone who reads my liveblogs. thank you for taking the time to read them!!!! <33333

watch ep 12 officially on crunchyroll: http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-12-dive-to-the-future-775643

***

the episode starts out with some BEAUTIFUL animation!!!

i think it's so cute that haru was fascinated by water ever since he was little.

yesssss i was waiting for that shot of little haru smiling!!! i already posted that screenshot here on my blog. XD if that doesn't absolutely melt your heart, then... you have no heart!

makoto cooking??? THAT'S SO ADORABLE <3

i would be happy to eat burnt toast if makoto made it. <33333

;___; omg omg omg that is so sad. he didn't help his friend. so i bet that is a major source of guilt for him. and, i wonder if that's some kind of foreshadowing...??? maybe haru and/or rin will be forced to make some kind of difficult choice between swimming and something else. i'm not saying that'll happen in this episode but maybe in the future (well, that's assuming there is another season)

hahaha, the muscle lovers have brainwashed ayumu!!! XD

yaaaaaay i am actually seeing ikuya and hiyori again!!!! i love them! ^__^

rin's surprised face at seeing natsuya again hahahaha

"you're late haru... just like me lol" -rin

"it's been so lon--" SLAP. what a warm welcome???

i feel like there should have been a theme song by now...

ikuya and natsuya about to race each other while remembering all those memories ;__; this episode is so emotional already lol.

*very dramatic music*

HAHAHAHAHA that out-of-date phrase came back. those random laughing people are like "who is that old fool??"

that little screenshot of ikuya and natsuya sleeping while leaning against each other UGGGGHHH that was a really sharp knife in my heart <3

hiyori is so excited for ikuya, awww.

*awkward panting*

yay i was hoping ikuya would win, just because i think it's funny that natsuya lost to his little brother!!!

THAT HANDSHAKE TURNING INTO A HUG I AM DONE. I AM DONE WITH THIS ANIME. IT'S BAD FOR MY HEALTH. I CANNOT BREATHE WITH ALL THESE EMOTIONS GOING ON. ;___; ;___; ;___;

NATUYA'S CRYING?!?!??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!? WTF WHY ARE YOU CRYING, STOP THAT, NOOO THIS IS TOO PRECIOUS. he really is so proud of ikuya!!!!! ^___^

lol now ikuya's crying and his little shaky voice, aaaaaaggghh. i hate this show so much. this show is too dangerous for my heart. i can't survive all this. why are all of these characters such wonderful angels???? WHY???????

i think asahi is starting to cry too lol

all right, that's a good stopping point. well, i'm done. ...wait... whaddaya mean there's more time left in this episode??? whaddaya mean that i haven't even watched half of the episode??? oh no, i have to keep watching!!! i don't think i'm ready for this you guys

"haruka-senpai and the rest have really dived into an incredible world." no, rei, they have DIVED INTO THE FUTURE!!!!!! =)

you couldn't have just walked AROUND them???? -__-

this guy's bright orange hair bothers me...

that confident look you get on your face when you are aware of how awesome you are and how powerfully bright your hair is:

"you cant gain that kind of strength without throwing something else away." uhhhh well that's creepy. what did kinjou throw away? (his sanity???)

ryuuji believes you basically have to give up everything, even your friends, to make it in the competitive world =( he's obviously still feeling guilt about what happened with his own friend. what's interesting is that we don't know how haru feels about what ryuuji just said. does haru agree?

rin is so cool that he has his own cool new music now hahaha.

haru looks suprised that rin did so well??? he shouldn't be surprised! rin is amazing <3

haru looks nervous??? (to be honest, i am nervous too lol. my heart is beating fast...)

he had a late start? i couldn't tell. XD

i am seriously freaking out over this animation. i just love it. the animation in this show is wonderful in general, but i feel like the animators take extra care in doing haru's swimming scenes. those scenes always look gorgeous. (even when haru's swimming isn't as fast as normal...)

everyone looks so sad about what happened with haru =(

asahi is so cute. XD he's so awkwardly funny!!!

sousuke startling rin... hahaha

hmmm, rin and sousuke are talking about sousuke swimming in a race in the future. does this mean there will be another season???

"nagisacchi" ^__^

"kissme?" looooool

omg there are so many more races tomorrow. but there are only a few minutes left in the episode!!! a lot needs to happen in just a few minutes!!

"bye-bye!" ugh why is every single thing that happens in this show so cute???

what was makoto about to ask haru???

marinka date???? <3 <3 <3

hmm, so haru really is bothered by what ryuuji said earlier

makoto and rin are laughing like "our son is so precious." XD

the three seagulls are on a date too??

rin saying he'd support makoto, awww that's so sweet!!! <3

haru yelling and scaring the birds away... what did those birds do to you, haru????

and omg, rin and makoto were totally caught off guard by that!!!! (well i was too o___o)

haru is running into the ocean... in order to turn into a merman?!?!?!??!! (i have been thinking about mermen all season, you know.)

"what kind of teen drama is this?" it took you this long to figure out that you are in a teen drama, rin?? XD

ummm for real where are they going though???

there are seriously like three minutes left in the episode. ... ... how is everything going to fit into three mins?

haru's speed surpassed albert's?!?!? wasn't albert the alien god?? wow...

ryuuji is trying to sit there and analyze why haru lost, but... dude, it's kinda your fault!! you're telling haru some weird stuff about "giving something up" and it made him nervous! =(

"he keeps talking about stupid stuff like friendship and bonds..." IT'S NOT STUPID, IT'S FREE!!!!!!

okay. so i'm at 21:40 and the entire episode is 23:40. rin and haru have not raced yet?!?!?!?!

finally!!! here it is!!!!!!!

hey, there's some new song sung by the voice actors playing in the bg???? i'm feeling emotions again...

let's dive... to the future!!!!!!

hmm, crunchyroll must be having techincal difficulties. instead of playing the rest of the episode, they are showing random pictures of the characters. this technical glitch must be fixed immediately.

...

...

...

oh. it's not a glitch. it's the ACTUAL EPISODE. THE ACTUAL EPISODE CUT OFF RIGHT BEFORE HARU AND RIN'S RACE. WHAT THE F@#^@$&#%%!%#^@^#^$#^@!@#$#%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WAITED ALL SEASON TO SEE THIS RACE!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING, PEOPLE WHO CREATE THIS CRAZY SHOW???!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US?!?!?! WHY????? WHYYYYYY????????!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!   >=(

*tries to calm down?*

"blue destination," that's what this song is called.

haha i like the samezuka guys doing the same silly-looking pose.

huh? there's a scene with just a few seconds left in the episode? what could possibly happen in this amount of time?????

nanase is in the lead?? okay, but... that doesn't really answer the question of who won the race. it's possible that rin could catch up. but i guess if he did catch up, they would have said it?

the god alien sees that haru is setting a new record! hmmm are you jealous??? =)

"see you in 2020" ?!?!?!?!?!?!? so i have to wait two years to find out who won the race??? -__-UUU

wait, wait... that means... FREE HAS NOT ENDED!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT OVER!!!!!! THIS ISN'T THE END!!!!!!! omg omg omg omg!!!!!! you guys. i didn't know this. i didn't know if there was going to be any more. wow wow wow!!!!!!! i finally got my reassurance!!! <33333333 oh my goodness!!!!!! this is extremely important to me!!! like i have said before, free! is my #1 favorite anime ever. i didn't want it to end right now. i need more!!! i'm so incredibly happy that it's not over yet! that makes me feel a lot better.

okay now. it's time for me to sum up not only this episode, but the season. first, the episode. this was an exciting, heart-thumping episode. i was nervous about everyone's races!!! especially rin and haru's, but... it was a disappointment that the race wasn't actually shown. i'll assume haru won because they mentioned that he was in the lead. but i'm not 100% sure!!!

ikuya and natsuya were lovely. i really liked that scene when they were hugging and they were clearly so proud of each other!!! it was so touching!! this is why i love this show. <3 and i was happy to see hiyori again too. everyone was reunited. everyone was realizing what their dreams are and finding their confidence. so it was an important episode;.

and... MARINKA!!!!!! i will be honest and say that i really wanted a makoharu moment. but i've gotta say, marinka is nice too. =) it was really funny to me how rin and makoto were both laughing at haru at the same time. they each gave haru the encouragement that he needed in that moment. they really got him fired up. when he suddenly yelled into the ocean, i was like "O__O uuuuhhhhh..." but it's good to see haru feeling motivated!! ^__^ the shot of the three of them lying together in the water was something that i think instantly became iconic.

the scene in the theme song (which didn't even play today?!?) where haru is screaming and looking like he's turning super saiyan (lol) was about haru's scream in this episode!! mystery solved. =)

so how'd i feel about this whole season? umm... EXCELLENT!!!!! everything was amazing!! the characters' relationships and emotions!!! the music!!! the animation!!! the voices!!!! just... everything. i am impressed with this anime, as always. i have so much appreciation for all of the people who put it together, because i like everything about it. that's why i didn't want to think about it ending. when i saw that it was coming back in 2020, i became very, very eager to know what would happen in the future!!! i want to dive to the future...

[aquarianlights]

Oh my lord, you guys. Just. WOW. This has been one whirlwind of a summer semester and then right into fall semester.

The amount of things I’ve had to do over the past 2 weeks alone are just...astounding. And I’ve managed to get everything done. . .with torn muscles in my back, THANKS to my wonderful roommates help!

Yeah, so, the reason I really haven’t been active is because I have been...literally too busy to even fucking breathe. The amount of work that goes into premed school is... wow. I love it! But...wow. I can’t IMAGINE what med school is gonna be like, but it’s exciting to think about!

I tore muscles in my back last Thursday (so my PCP thinks; if they don’t heal by the time these steroid packs/muscle relaxers are done, then we’re going to check into seeing if one+ of my slipped discs burst) and to have 5 slipped discs in my spine (4 of those in my lumbar) and to also have fibro pain making it worse... AND THEN to have literally torn the muscles in my lumbar region on top of all of it?

Right on the weekend we are moving?

I cannot even, you guys.

If little, depressed me could see me now? I can’t believe what I am able to accomplish now. Hell, I only missed one days worth of classes (which is a lot, but still) despite all of this.

The amount of pain I have been in is through the fucking roof. I have had to get a MILLION things in order these first few weeks while juggling 6 classes. I had to drop 2 of them and attempt to switch into 2 fluff courses coz I could already tell I wouldn’t make straight A’s if I took that load. I wouldn’t even make 1 A, probably. Which is unlike me. So I did the smart thing and dropped the 2 nonessential classes, which leaves me with 2 classes left (1 miscellaneous science class + a lab) till I graduate. Tulane wants me to wait until their Fall semester to transfer so I have an extra semester here at this college that I didn’t think I would have. So that gives me time to graduate with those two classes next semester and add on any classes I didn’t make A’s in (I have 3 in my repertoire so far since I began my first year of college in 2010) to boost my GPA and then I’ll probably take a summer semester and try to take anything I’m still underwhelming in (1 or 2 courses, probably) and just boost my GPA more on top of things.

I have gotten into Honours Society and I’m supposed to be attending Phi Theta Kappa meetings all this semester because I didn’t make the cut this semester (the amount of fucking chaos...ugh), so I have been trying to draw up honours credit contracts with my current professors to see if I can make these honours credits, which will look incredible on my transcript.

I moved into my new apartment today and my roommates moved into their new house. We’re all very excited, but EXHAUSTED. Bless my fucking roommates. Those are true friends right there.

Since I tore muscles in my back and have been in such excruciating pain that I have been shrieking in pain and sobbing all the time, they did almost ALL of my packing for me (even though I really don’t have much now) and stayed up ALL NIGHT (literally) moving them into their place and then came to me as soon as I got my keys this morning and they got me moved in as well.

And whenever @wistfulwerewolf has actually slept and recuperated from being a total badass and staying awake forEVER to help me and them to get us all moved in, she’ll help me with getting my stuff physically in order a little bit since I can’t bend over or lift ...well, ANYTHING.

I cannot express how much they saved me. How much she saved me. Normally, I will admit, her optimism about life gets on my nerves. I hate optimistic people coz life just doesn’t work that way. But man. . .it really came in handy while literally EVERYTHING was going wrong every two seconds.

I don’t think I or her boyfriend would have made it without her.

Every time something went wrong, she was there to say “Don’t worry. We’ve got this. Everything will be okay.”

And when I say things went wrong...I mean... The U-Haul place fucked up, we had less time than we thought, we didn’t get my keys when we thought, there was miscommunication, my car battery died this morning when I was supposed to leave to go get my keys, I can’t even remember all the bullshit we went through these past few days. It was absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention a million things were going on in our personal lives.

But she just kept the morale up and kept everything good and made sure that every time I had a breakdown because the pain and stress was too much, she was right there. And, man, she can take a lot. Along with my mother, she’s the strongest person I know. I must’ve snapped at her a million times. I’m sure her boyfriend did, too. Tensions were incredibly high. But she never once let us down. And she just kept morale up and kept everyone together as a pack and made sure we were all okay. It was absolutely incredible and I have never been more proud of my best friend in my damn life. I wish there was a way to put it into words to tell her without sounding like a corny tsundere dork lol.

Coz I don’t think any of us would have made it through this if it were not for her. She held us all together. She was the glue. I know I would not have made it through all of this without her. There’s still a long way to go, though.

But. . . now I’m heading over to get my internet installed and then I’ll be getting a security system installed a week or so later.

I’m in such excruciating pain I can barely breathe. I feel like I have re-torn my muscles, but who fucking knows at this point.

I’m just drowning myself in these pills for until they run out because I just literally do not have time to deal with being in pain or taking extra time because I’m not able-bodied.

Like. . . I don’t know how the disabled community does it.

How do you function on weeks like this week where you have a million appointments and have to keep a schedule and have loads of schoolwork and are moving and have to get a ton of things done for the new semester and also have to take care of your health on top of everything otherwise you’ll be out of commission even LONGER and also stay on top of all these deadlines and make sure you’re budgeting and eating and hydrating and watching out for your friends and calling everyone back and family and I just....

:| :| :| Haha. I feel exhausted, but this is almost over and I hope to FUCK it’ll calm down after we are both all moved in and everything is set up. I’m estimating a week or two before everything calms down, though. Which sucks because I’m gonna be in excruciating pain the entire time and I won’t have any time to stop. I’ll just keep waking up, popping a million pills. . .and then hoping for the best as I go through the motions.

If ANYONE can send me positive vibes or inspiration throughout the weeks, I would appreciate it!

Transitioning to living alone when you’ve just had great fun with your roommates and friends moving is a lonely time. But it’s so worth it in the end. I hope. I’ll make it work somehow.

Gotta head back over to my new apartment and uh. . .well, start unpacking and getting things in order until the internet installation guy gets there. At least...unpacking what I can. I really can’t do much in this state. :| Yeesh!!

Love you all! I haven’t forgotten you! And yes, K, I see your messages...they’re keeping me going. Thank you so much for all of them. I love you. I hope you know that.

Bye for now!!

-KQR

[kfawkes]

Hi! Could I request a fluffy eggsy x reader where they have to share a twin bed? I know that’s super corny but I’m having a really stressful week at college and I need something happy to make it better haha

[Hi there! I’m sorry you’re having a hard week anon ;.; and so sorry I couldn’t get this out sooner! 3 I hope that it still makes you happy though

p.s I’m SUUUUPER fucking sick lol, so please excuse any typos until I can get my ass better and spruce up the bitch lol.

Pairing: Eggsy X Reader

Words: 1.5K

Warnings: Cursing. :D

— Read on Ao3!]

“Are you serious, Eggy?” You asked with your jaw hung lightly open as you eye the space before you. “It’s quite… small.” 

The cabin itself was anything but small, but that pathetic bed certainly was. It was chilly inside but you had been expecting that part; and there were soft scratches from the wind and branches brushing against the walls and windows. The quiet patter of rain droplets was calming and it smelled like trees and fresh water all around you. 

It truly was beautiful. Perfect. If not for that poor excuse of a bed…

Except you didn’t even really mind that part, did you? No, of course it didn’t. If anything, it made the whole trip that much more endearing.

“It ain’t that bad, babe… kinda cozy, innit?” Eggsy asked with a small smile. After a moment he set the bags at his feet while eying the cabin affectionately; when he looked back to you he started again, ending with a wink. “Jus means I getta be closer to ya, don’it?”

“True.” You couldn’t help but laugh as you looked him up and down with eyes narrowed and lips pursed. 

Charming as the day you met him and damn did he look good today. But of course he did, Eggsy looked good every day. Whether he was wearing a hoodie with those fucking winged shoes he loved so much or a signature Kingsman suit: he looked beyond incredible.  

Besides just being what you’d deem as nearly sickeningly attractive, he was the best man you ever met. And he also had a point… Even if you had a bigger bed, you’d be pressed against him just the same. 

When you thought about it, you really were inseparable… on and off the field and especially when you were sleeping. Which at first was really weird for you. You’d never been like that before, not really. 

Yeah, you liked to cuddle and be close to the people you dated, but you also liked your space. The freedom to be spread out and the ability to hog all of the covers… But with Eggsy you slept worse if you weren’t besides him and eventually you could hardly sleep at all without him there.

The way he felt wrapped around you, with skin soft yet hardened and speckled with bruises and scars; Smelling of pinecones maybe or something just as sweet and earthy was bliss. And in that moment you realized how badly you needed it. How badly you needed him. 

Is this what it was like to find your other half… your home?

The one? 

Maybe… but you didn’t want to think about that. Because thinking about it all, was real. And honestly? A part of you already knew the answer…

What you did know for sure was that you loved Eggsy and that he loved you. There was no where you felt as safe as when you were with him. No matter where you were or what you were doing; if he was there you were okay. 

After a moment you focused back on the room; kissing his cheek before making your way towards the window. It was still raining and each tear of water was melodic to your ears. 

A second later you felt Eggsy slipping his hands around your waist pulling you closer. You closed your eyes and leaned back into his soft embrace as he rested his chin atop your shoulder; kissing your neck and behind your ear lightly. 

“Thank you for comin’… means a lot.” He whispered into your neck as he pressed his lips to your shoulder, leaving them there.

You slid your hand up and into his hair; scratching his scalp softly as you lean more into him, soaking him up. “Course, baby. You think I’d let you come here alone?”

“Nah, knew you wouldn’t… but still, thank you.” 

When he finished you turned towards him, still holding yourself closely to his chest. “You okay?” 

Eggsy nodded softly, smiling as he slid his hands to either side of your face not breaking your gaze once; and you felt a bubble of nerves erupting as he opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t. 

“I, uh… Got somethin’ for you.” Eggsy pulled his lips in as he lowered his brow almost nervously. “Was gonna wait… but don’t think I want to now.”

After letting out an awkward laugh you slid your tongue out to wet your lips. Just what the hell was Eggsy up to? “Alright… ”

He slid a hand to your own, pulling your towards that shitty twin bed. Once you reached it he sat besides you and held your hand tightly between his own. You could tell that he was nervous, anxious maybe. He wasn’t that same confident person you’d been seeing the last year and a half.

Eggsy was boyish and timid even… and so goddamn cute. If anyone had nailed the puppy dog eyes, it was him. But you couldn’t help but wonder why he was giving them to you now. 

“Everything really is okay, isn’t it?” You asked cautiously as a full smile spread over his lips.

Eggsy nodded a few times then moved his gaze towards yours once more, still holding a soft smile. “Don’t worry, luv. I’m alright… promise.”

“… okay,” You let out another uncomfortable laugh, even more confused than the seconds before. “then… what is it?”

“For the longest time even gettin outta bed was hard… Cause Harry was gone, an I did nothin’ to stop it… not when it mattered.” Eggsy paused for a moment as he look down to your hands briefly. “After awhile I jus couldn’t do it no more, didn’t want to… You remember, don’t you? Was a total wreck…” 

After a second you nodded reluctantly, as a blanket of unnerving chills spread over you once more. “Of course… but, what’s that have to do with…”

Eggsy shook his head and started again. “Everythin’. You stood by me when I was nothin’– when no one else would. You fought for me, an besides me.. Was you that got me through it all, an since then all I wanted was to be better for you. Jus to make you happy. Proud.”

There were a lot of things you wanted to say back, but nothing seemed to come out at first… so you pulled your brows in softly suppressing the warm sting you felt behind your eyes until words finally formed. “Where is th– of course you have. More than you know… what is all of– this?” 

You slid your hands to the sides of his neck, pressing your forehead to his as he started again quietly. “This is me… sayin’ that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

In that moment, it felt like a flock of birds were released inside of your body. Everything was pulsating and your heart was racing faster than you’d felt it before. You held your head in place as he slid his hand into his pocket slowly pulling out an emerald green box. 

Now your heart was racing so fast you thought maybe you were having a heart attack or that it might literally pop out of your chest; both thoughts were pretty terrifying, but so was this… 

Not terrifying because you didn’t want it. Oh hell, did you want it. There was nothing you could think of that you’d wanted more than this. It was terrifying because you loved him more than you’d ever loved anything. Ever.

“Are you…”

“I want you there every mornin’ when I wake up.” Eggsy paused to swallow, as he pulled his other hand to open to box slowly. “and every evenin’ when I go to sleep…” He pulled his bottom lip in for a moment as he slid his forehead from yours, locking his azure eyes to yours dotingly. 

“I want you– this, forever. Till I die or till you get sick a’me. There’s nothin’ I love more than you. Nothin’… D’you think you could settle for someone like me, luv?”

When you looked to the box, it was beautiful… just a thin white-gold ban shining up at you. Simple, elegant and so perfect that it literally took your breath away. 

“You are not settling, Eggsy.” You were so elated in that moment; the happiest you think you’d ever been and you couldn’t take your eyes off of it, off of him.

So you kissed him. Hard. Throwing your arms around his neck as the warm salted tears slipped from your eyes and down your rose cheeks.

“That a yeah, then?” Eggsy’s voice was shaking and rung nervously as he pulled you in tightly; pressing his face into your hair and neck breathing you in deeply.

“It is most definitely a yeah.” Returning his laugh was easy, and you kissed his cheeks and forehead again sweetly in perfect shock.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake– thank god.” Eggsy laughed as he released the breath he’d been holding. After a second he loosened his grip on you, sliding a hand over your cheek with a smile. “Think you’re s’posed to wear this then, yeah?” 

Eggsy slid the ban from the box and over your left finger in a solid motion, it was a perfect fit… 

Just like you two. Just like this shitty twin mattress… And as you lean back onto the bed, you couldn’t fucking believe you’d found someone that fit you like a glove. 

That this was it… that you’d found the one and you were finally home.

[after-the-fxll]

What did he think about as he fell? What did he feel at the time?

Short answer: His recently-deceased mate, Mahra, another archangel.

But I’m here to write a meta, right? XD

So... Aryx is from a world I created while writing a series of books several years ago. In this world, there are always four major gods, numerous minor ones, one god-of-gods called The One to keep them all in line. The four major ones are always two Light and two Dark, with one male and one female, and one defensive and one offensive for each “side.” The One cares only for balance, so if any one god of The Four become too powerful, be they Light or Dark, good or evil, she will do things to tilt the balance back to level. 

Aryx is not a natural-born archangel, he was created by The Stag, otherwise known as The Father of Protection, who is the male/defensive god of Light. So Aryx’s natural magic is going to contain a lot of healing, warding, shielding abilities, things like that. That is not to say that he doesn’t attack, but his role while serving his god is primarily a defensive one. His specific job in the heavens was to guard the gates of the common heaven, which is the layer in which all mortal souls are housed. Well, the ones that deserve to be in heaven, anyway. He and his mate Mahra (they met and fell in love on the job in heaven, haha) were both guarding human souls and making sure nothing got through those gates that shouldn’t be there, along with many other angels.

There was an attack, led by an incubus who was actually a raised and transformed human defiler of The Vulture, the male/offensive god of Dark. A defiler is the opposing class to a soul knight. Soul knights are powerful magical healers. Defilers are sorcerers who can induce illness, madness, pain in others through magic. So this guy (his name was Maseder) was a very important defiler for the most powerful god of Dark, and when he was killed by his brother, a soul knight, he was immediately raised and transformed into an incubus (better strength, immune to most disease, can fly) as a reward. Maseder then immediately led an insurgence of demons from the underworld up into the heavens to steal souls from the common layer. They did not succeed, largely because of the efforts of guardians like Aryx, but there were casualties on both sides. Most of the lesser demons were killed, and Aryx’s mate was one of the angelic deaths. She was mortally wounded by Maseder and died in Aryx’s arms.

Maseder did not die and instead chose to ascend to earth to lead The Vulture’s mortal forces against his brother (the high priest of The Stag by that point) and his angel/human allies. Because Maseder was raised and not reincarnated, he retained all of his prior knowledge that he had as a human. This is incredibly damaging for a lot of reasons, but the worst is that he knows exactly where his brother is, what his defenses are, who works with/follows him, what they’re weaknesses are, and how best to attack them. His brother, meanwhile, has no clue that his brother is now a demon, because he thinks he killed him already.

So now Aryx is in an awkward position. He knows this just happened, he knows that there is a good chance that this will devastate the army of Light on earth, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Unless...

I’m not going to bore you with the details of previous books before Aryx’s (he came in at like book five or six or something, I forget), but due to The Four Gods not behaving themselves and trying to one-up each other, The One actually stripped the earth of magic for almost 700 years and dramatically reduced the ability of humans and earthbound angels/demons to contact their respective deities. It was a punishment, basically. After that was lifted, The Four never wanted that to happen again, heh. It screwed them over so badly. They all lost a LOT of power. So... now they’re eager to follow the rules. Since Maseder is essentially The Vulture’s high priest now, he has some more leeway than others. He can know things others can’t know and act on that information. Aryx, as a lowly archangel in heaven (they are a dime a dozen up there, haha) does not have these privileges. But... he can do certain things anyway and be punished for it...

So he decides that he wants to fall to earth to deliver a message to Maseder’s brother Kanadin and tell him what has become of his brother and warn him of what’s to come. This violates one of The One’s laws, which is to basically not take inside information out of the heavens or hells. Maseder’s information is not inside info because it’s just all things he knew as a human. But Aryx has seen and heard things in the heavens that humans are not and should not be privy to. But Aryx spoke directly to The Stag and made a proposition. He offered to fall and warn The Stag’s high priest of his own free will, which would absolve The Stag of any wrongdoing because he didn’t send him to earth, and then Aryx would accept the punishment of being permanently earthbound forever. He said he was the best one for this purpose because he heard what Maseder said directly and he has lost his mate and did not have any other reasons to remain in the heavens besides his work, of course.

The Stag liked this idea very much, commended Aryx for his bravery, and took his proposition to The One... who decided that it was fair and she would allow it. So Aryx quite literally fell from the heavens, and there was a good chance that he would not survive, which was one of the reasons why The One ultimately decided that this was a fair thing, because it wasn’t guaranteed. Aryx had to take the chance himself, and his god could not help him. But he knew that if he could survive the fall, he would be falling somewhere near the best healer on the planet, haha, so he’d have a good chance if he could just survive impact. After that, it would be all will.

My angels and human soul knights are very much like elves in that their emotions can affect their health. Aryx, having just lost his mate was still grieving for her when he fell to earth. This is an extremely dangerous position to put himself in because if he doesn’t receive help right away when he lands, he may not have the mental fortitude to get through the pain and injury. (And it was bad, he shattered ribs, broke almost all his wings, one wing was almost completely severed, it was really terrible. Incredibly traumatic for him.) But this is how Aryx is a fallen angel but is not evil or corrupted as some might expect when they hear the term “fallen angel.” He has fallen physically, but not morally.

Aside from grieving for his mate and knowing he is about to experience horrible pain and injury, there is also the emotional death-like loss of leaving the heavens. Angels of all types, especially created ones and ones who have spent their entire lives in the heavens, are used to feeling the magical power of The Stag and his mate The Dove directly. There’s a physical light and warmth that radiates from them, but also there is just a feeling of energy and being empowered, because as an angel, Aryx is fueled by holy energy, and that’s really what The Four are... they’re powerful bodiless beings of energy. So when an angel leaves the heavens and goes to earth, they may feel physically cold, they may experience depression and despair, and they may cry and feel physically weak. They are actually physically weaker for a time until their bodies adjust to the distance from their gods. But yeah, it’s rough... it’s like living in the same house with someone you love to then moving across the world and knowing you’ll never see them again. It’s like a type of grief for the loss of that support and close relationship. So Aryx is really piling on the stress for himself, haha.

SO....... Now that I’ve told you that big whole long story, I can say more simply that as Aryx fell he chose to focus on his love for Mahra, how she made him happy and gave him strength, and basically how she would have supported him in this decision. In this frightening and sad moment of him falling, he chose to focus on the one person in his life he loved the most. And this was importance for keeping up his morale, but it was also purposely done to keep him from being corrupted by his own grief and anger. Aryx didn’t want his Fall to be because he wanted revenge on Maseder for killing Mahra. That was never a reason why. Does he hate him? Yes. But revenge is something supported and rewarded by The Spider, who is The Vulture’s mate. So Aryx was very keenly aware of that moral pitfall and focused on Mahra as a way to stay on the good path and fight the good fight.

I have a song that I attribute to Aryx’s Fall. It wasn’t a quick thing, either. It’s a damn long distance from even the lowest layer of heaven to the earth. It took hours. So he had plenty of time to think about Mahra, to want to be rid of the grief but still remembering his love for her and how they were together, and that there is no turning back. She’s dead and he’s decided to fall and there is no going back. It’s already over. It’s a very emotional song, and I think it fits wordwise but also with the emotion that it’s sung with.

Already Over (Part 2) by Red

As I play Aryx on this blog, he fell about 600 years ago. He still misses the heavens, and because he is immortal, he could live for a very long time on earth. But he is proud of the decision he made, especially because he did end up changing the tide of the war on earth with the information he brought to Kanadin. And because he did not fall morally, he maintains all magic and other gifts from The Stag, so he spends his time healing, soothing pain, and tempering volatile emotions in innocent people. He is lonely, but also happy at the same time. He has no regrets.

And that was long as hell but I hope you had fun reading! XD Sorry for the delay, it took me a couple days to get this all together, lol.

[acrispyapple]

50 more interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @incorrectmidc i had this open for days and i answered a few questions per night lol @o0w0o and @deathbymidnightcinderella  <3

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? spicy stuff and umm food loaded with exotic spices / herbs

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? my mouse ending up double clicking after a year or so

3. Have you got any useless talents? i have way too much trivia and animal facts. plus random skills with no practical use. oh and playing the piano is also a useless talent for me since i don’t really “use” it

4. If you were really really good at one thing, what would it be? my answer isn’t an “if” thing lol. i have a really good memory. it really helps with mostly anything i do + it makes studying easier. but sometimes people think it’s creepy that i remember little things about them, they think i keep notes about them or something lol-- but i really do just remember.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - umm neil caffrey (matt bomer) from white collar, nick burkhardt (david giuntoli) from grimm, daniel shaw (brandon routh) from chuck -- i seem to have a type haha. omg i forgot jo in-sung. i’ve always thought he was handsome! 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? i was a pretty boring kid. i just read books, watched cartoons, and organized things. as a kid i’d look at my toys but never really play with them because i liked seeing them all set up nicely. i just kept collecting stuff i liked. the most i’d do that’s remotely active was play with my dogs

7. What is something you’re proud of? i do well academically and i learn fast. and somehow i’m proud of how i’ve remained the same over the years.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? i don’t know if this is considered a character flaw but i really dislike poor manners haha. it drives me crazy when people open their mouth while chewing or if it’s too noisy. i die a bit inside. besides table manners and manners in general, i dislike people who are rowdy during inappropriate times.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? both but to avoid stress sometimes i just want to follow. i’m a bit of a perfectionist / rule follower so i get frustrated a lot. i know not everyone is like a machine but it’s hard with my ocd lol. and no this isn’t just me saying ocd like most people when referring to certain things, i actually do have it and i have medication for it

10. What kind of student are/were you? normal i guess. i got along well with people, i didn’t fail anything, and i never rebelled or did anything wild. it was uneventful lol. i’m still technically a student now, but i see it more as an adult thing.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? i’m sure everyone has one

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion well it’s not a fear per se, but i have an aversion to most asian food, sorta? the smell sets me off especially if it has a bunch of spices or herbs in it. my nose is just sensitive and i get affected easily by strong scents. but i’m fine with japanese food, maybe some korean and chinese stuff. for fears, iono, i don’t think it’s irrational to be afraid of spiders and big cockroaches ><

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? a bunch haha but it’s mostly people associating them with me first. i’m not tsundere..... how dare they

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? i don’t think i’ve ever gotten drunk the way people imagine people getting drunk to be like. i remain the same except i get a headache. i don’t really change at all. and in parties i guess i just stay close to my friends. stranger danger lmao

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? umm no i do not. i mean i can trust them fine but i don’t think i can believe their feelings until they can prove it isn’t just a short time attraction. i’m in for long term stuff so i don’t really wanna waste time if it’s not headed there. but yeah currently in a long term relationship

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? having fewer friends makes it easier for me to update all of them without getting tired of repeating the same story over and over haha

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? always organized and no one’s allowed to touch my things haha

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy i’ve always wanted a seating area near a huge window with a good view, bunch of pillows, earphones + music

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? nah i don’t think i can handle it. i’d probably go insane trying to control them and making them become my idea of what a person should be like

20. What was your favorite book as a child? the chronicles of narnia, still love it to this day because it’s really written well

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES A FIDGET SPINNER DO -- yeah i’m sorry, i think it’s stupid

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated i should have an answer for this but i totally forgot lol

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? since im in the midcin fandom i’ll just say byron

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? visit all the haunted places i’ve ever read about, and prolly explore old ruins. i was way into archaeological finds etc way back

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? i try to say it in the most courteous way possible. i can’t keep it to myself because it would bother me and my mind would just dwell on it forever but i also don’t like offending people haha

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? sTiCkY cApS in chat (but i stopped after a month okay, and i was 12)

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? typing in sTiCkY CaPs. kill 12 year old me pls

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? being kind and yet still firm when needed even when it comes to friends. i really admire people who don’t just blindly agree with their peers

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) people give me stuff with owls, bears, hedgehogs, or stars because i love them. i also love stationery and pens. i like getting different colors and i never use them. i just keep them forever haha

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? i know a bit of stuff from other languages but not enough to be proud of it. i don’t want to be a poser and claim yeaaaahh i speak this and that lol

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? city please. i hate the quiet countryside. it’s like if someone comes to kill you and there’s no one around and you’d be all “this is why i should’ve been in the city with people everywhere”

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? byron wagner from midcin. when i first started and i saw him i was all, ehh eyepatch dude. so edgy. lmao. i even purposely skipped him during certain events and i regret that now.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? i don’t want to be the center of attention, i’d feel awkward

34. Favorite holiday? the usual, christmas and new years eve... but i miss having an actual christmas where it isn’t summer...

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? i always have a plan lol

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) hmm, i can watch something over and over with no problem. all good

37. What hobbies do you have? reading (but it’s mostly fantasy and sci-fi), watching crap, annoying my dogs, playing video games, making stories in my head. I WISH I COULD WRITE AND DO IMAGERY WELL. oh well

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to moisturize instantly, one click. that’ll save me time daily

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you that i like video games and anime lol. and that i’m happy to talk to them T_T

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out i still don’t know how to knife. how to knife~ i mean how to slice things or chop things or do anything in the kitchen

41. Worst injury you’ve had? is it considered an injury when you’ve had to get 4 major surgeries in a year? i mean i guess tending to / waiting for the surgery scars to get better can be considered an injury since it took a while and it was sorta a pain

42. Any morbid fascinations? umm, i can’t think of one

43. Describe your sense of humor i don’t really know lol. i make a lot of jokes and sometimes it breaks the mood for people lol

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? i really like princess stuff but the real medieval stuff would be dirty people who don’t take baths and really horrible stuff so maybe just the fantasy version of that + high speed internet

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at not rambling when i really like something. to the people who’ve ever had to listen to me whenever i got excited about something-- i’m sorry

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through going to a nature retreat thing 3 months ago or something. i had no internet and it made me cry inside but i guess it was fine

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) i don’t really want tattoos in general so i guess the ugly one.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? optimist

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? something that isn’t physical or shallow. i’d be really happy if people noticed my achievements or if they liked something about my personality-- or if they found me funny lol

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you that i’m not nice lol because i keep to myself unless spoken to irl + that unimpressed scowl i always have. it’s like my default facial expression!

not forcing anyone to do it since it’s very long, just tagging for the sake of tagging! and i think most of the people i know have already been tagged? i’ve seen this tagged post done by most of them lol

@ashnable @nimmywik @captiveotomeprincess @otometrashcan  @princessdiarymdc @arimii @madamemalfoy21 @kinkymint @oh-my-otome

[franeridart]

I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best "Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!" or "BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME"?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Anon said:there's a terushima week. thought i might tell you bc i miss you drawing him ;3; might wanna join? :3

Anon said:Terushima week is this next week! (@terushimaweek) Might we maaaybe see some cute lil bokuroterus sometime soon? ;)

As I’ve already said, sadly I’ve found out about this too late to be part of it - I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of doodling something one of the days, but I didn’t have the time to plan anything and I’m still in the middle of working things through with the bakushima week and bakugou’s birthday so I don’t know - they 19th is Teru’s birthday so maybe I’ll draw something for it, but it’s also a super busy day for me so it really depends on how soon I’ll be able to finish everything else I’m working on orz I’m sorry guys I seriously had no clue about this till, like, five days ago o

Anon said: What are your thoughts on KiriDeku b/c I'm not even that into it but as soon as I saw art I was like "OMFG I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING SO PURE CHOULD EVER EXIST!!!" My following thought was that'd you may have something interesting to say (as you always do, I luv it), so here I am 😁 Also, I love the blog, your amazing art, and you!! I truly appreciate all you do ❤️❤️

Awwww thank you!!! And I dunno, as things are now my opinion on a possible ship might change soon enough because it looks like their interactions amount is about to skyrocket, so anything I say right now is just a temporary answer? But generally I find their friendship incredibly adorable, though as of now I don’t think I can see anything romantic between the two... mostly because even though I’ve seen them being friendly and supportive of each other I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually connect over anything that wasn’t Bakugou?? Being friendly and supportive is just how they both are with everyone, before I can say I ship them I’m gonna need something more singular to their relationship

I might be totally biased here considering where my main shipping lies, though haha

Anon said:HOSHIHINA!!!! YESSSSS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I think this is like.... my new OTP or well... a new OTP that I will gratefully put on the shelf next to all my other children in love!! oh yeah and THANK YOU for introducing me to both BNHA and d grey man! I'M IN LOVE!!! oH and YOUR ART IS AMAZING!!! KEEP IT UP!! I WILL GRATEFULLY SWALLOW UP ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU POST IT'S AMAZING!!! YOUR OC'S TOO!!! Have a nice day!!

So much!!! HYPE in this ask!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING anon I hope you’ll have the best day!!!!!! *O* And I’m SUPER GLAD you gave dgm and bnha a try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Aww the kiss. I know you posted it the other day, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. They're so cute, those two. 💜✌

*lays down forever* they are aren’t they those pure idiots !!!!

Anon said:I'm laughing so hard. Literally everyone that read the new chapter was like expectation vs reality. I love my idiots. Also yas to HoshiHina

HoshiHina is an A+ ship with A+ potential and I think I’m being slowly but surely swallowed by it - then again, what Hinata ship don’t I ship even ??? the mysteries

Anon said:To answer you question on what cheese sticks are, they're this disgusting processed cheese stick, also known as string cheese, and it's p much what it is, cheese in the form of a small stick that you can pull apart into strings and eat like that! (as you may have noticed, I'm not a fan hah) ((I don't know if you know the artist mookie, but she made a comic about bokuto eating a cheesestick whole before)

Anon said: cheese sticks = string cheese? D: they are delicious i promise

I’m seeing conflicting reports here (lol) but yes this might be a problem for me only because as I said I’m Italian but what I’m failing to see here is what kind of cheese are these things supposed to be ???

Anon said:Are you into Kuroken?

Only as very good friends, I don’t ship it romantically at all

Anon said:I love your bakushimas, SO SO SO MUCH. God, and with the latest chapter, I just can't wait for more interactions with them. God, seeing as I think Kirishima was filmed by the people that were there, I want to see Bakugou's reaction to his new move.

This took me long enough to answer that we now know Baku’s reaction was total and utter envy at how popular Kiri is LMAO - but yeah I still think Baku already knew about Kiri’s new move! After all he most probably came up with it as they trained for the license exam and I can’t believe he wouldn’t test it against Bakugou to make sure he actually turns unbreakable? Also proud-of-himself Kiri yelling at the squad to check out his new move is too much of a good image I can’t let that one go hahaha

Anon said:I started following you for Haikyuu but started boku no hero academia in order to understand what your other drawings were so I thank you (and blame you) for getting me hooked on another anime and manga :)

I’m!!!!!! HAPPY you ended up liking it???!!!! *O*

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that you're my most fave artist here in tumblr istg i go to your page everyday just to go back at the fanart you drew if you didn't have any new, but when u have, my heart just swells and i fuss over it. God bless you because you opened my eyes for bakushimanari when i was just kiribaku back then.. God i love denki sfm right now bc of you, im sad bkk week is over though ahh and laven. Jfc i love your laven pls draw them more if u can 😘 i hope you'll have a great day!!

Don’t!!!! worry anon Laven has been my #1 otp since I was sixteen at this point it’s just not gonna leave me ever, I’ll definitely draw more of it in the future! And thank you??? so much?????? Oh man!!!!!

Anon said:Everyone in class 1-A: *trains as if they're gonna be in a battle royal and need to (literally) slaughter the competition* Competition: OBSTACLE RACE YAY

Well, the anime did change the training scenes a lot lol but LMAO anon they’re highschoolers what were you expecting hahahahaha it’s already savage enough as it is, I assure you lol

Anon said:Hi hello yes are you up for some angsty stuff because my brain turns even the sweetest moment to that, like what if kaminari saw bakushima's first kiss and he becomes so sad b/c he crushes on them both but he pretends not to and starts teasing 'em like a true bro while hiding his feelings and idk it's only if you want but yeah, how's your day been?

..........I would lie if I said I didn’t think about this while drawing that kiss R I P my multishipper heart is gonna kill me BUT IT’S OKAY I’m not one for unhappy endings so consider this - Denki sees them kiss, since he’s best bro and both Kirishima and Bakugou tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves he already knew this was gonna happen so he’s like, sad but resigned it hurts and he wishes he didn’t have to see it but he loves them both so much that he can’t help but being happy for how happy they are at the same time too (sure, being part of that happiness would be a dream coming true, but he’s used to never coming first he can deal with this hahahahaha r i p)

Meanwhile a bit after the kiss once Kiri is a hundred per cent sure Bakugou isn’t going to explode his head off if he mentions his very huge crush on Kaminari he does and Bakugou’s like, shit, it’s not like he’d mind it because Kaminari is, well, he’s Kaminari and Bakugou isn’t sure why but he’s comfortable to be around and easy to talk to and he’s stupidly pretty and like, yeah, okay, he might be into him too, maybe, he isn’t admitting anything here (not like he needs to, as stated already he’s pretty easy to read), but Kaminari’s also the no homo type of het so it’s not like they can do much about this threeway crush or whatever, and Kirishima’s like sure, I know, I just wanted to be open about this to avoid trouble, which is very sensible and will cut us on a lot of miscommunication angst this is getting out of hand let’s skip ahead I always forget how much fun I have writing this kind of bullshit

For however much Kaminari swore he could deal with it and how much he’s actually managing to deal with it he’s also the same brand of open book Baku and Kiri are and while it was easy to act like friends with no romantic feelings when everyone was doing the same, trying to hide from Bakugou and Kirishima while they’re openly in a relationship turns out to be more or less impossible, mostly because he can’t seem to avoid the longing stares and sad smiles and the I have to go I just remembered I have a thing to do bye’s when it becomes too much, and Kirishima might not be the brightest but he’s perfectly in tune with everyone’s feelings and Bakugou might stomp on people’s feelings more often than not but he is the brightest which means they notice and they’re like god fucking damn it - Bakugou in nature isn’t one to talk about problems until they burst out in fits of anger, but thank god he’s got Kirishima right there and they might not be 100% sure they got the reason for Kaminari’s weirdness right but they’re exasperated and they at least want their friend to stop being weird and avoiding them, they miss him (and Kaminari seriously misses them too he feels so stupid for how big of a deal he’s turning this into) SO they corner him and talk it out cause I’m a slut for open and honest communication and Kaminari straight out starts crying from happiness and relief before they’re even done talking and Kirishima starts crying right after him because sympathetic crier supreme and Bakugou’s like you know what I changed my mind fuck both of you emotional disasters I’m out

(spoiler he isn’t really)

[oneandonlypaper]

How I got started in invitations

Doing my own version of the success graph

It’s crazy to think that I have been designing wedding stationery for almost 10 years now! My journey to stationery was not as simple as going from point a to point b, so I thought I’d get into it today.  Buckle up, this is a long post!

Me, wearing a shirt I designed and screenprinted. NGL, I still think this is a cool design. 

It all started back in college when I was majoring in art and design. I had chosen this major because I felt like it would afford me the most options in what I wanted to do, but now that I was actually in it, I felt like the major wasn’t providing me with a clear path forward. A lot of my friends were in graphic design, and I was really interested in the things they were doing - I started sitting in on their classes, and doing their projects on my own time. I pretty quickly decided that I want to switch majors, and started my sophomore year as a graphic design student.

I really loved my time as a design student, and I thought when I got out of school I would move away, work at a boutique design firm, and be incredibly successful by the time I was 25, at which point I would have a meet-cute with some hunky guy and get married when I was 30. To me, that felt like the clearest path to success and fulfillment.

What actually happened was a little different 

I started working at internships for design in college - I needed them to be paid, which meant that my options were pretty limited.  Boutique design agencies were totally off the table, as they pretty much only offered unpaid internships. I still feel strongly that if you can’t afford to compensate someone for their time, you probably shouldn’t have an intern, but unfortunately, that’s not the norm in the creative industry. While I was in school, I worked for a distance education group that was affiliated with my university, a teacher’s group, and my school’s sustainability office. 

A sustainability walking map I designed for my internship - these projects definitely helped me realize my love of print, and looking back it’s kind of nuts I got to own so many cool projects as an intern! 

Particularly at my last internship, I learned a LOT about working with clients, as I was the only designer in the office - it was extremely valuable to learn how to deal with people who weren’t approaching creative problems from at all the same place as I was. 

I also got to create several annual reports, which involved some sweet graphs. 

I would love to go back and sit in on some of the meetings I was a part of at that time… I was obviously very new to professional situations, and I’d be in meetings with 10-15 people, most of whom were middle-aged men, trying to lead them through a design process I myself was just figuring out. I’m sure I was not nearly as smooth as I thought I was, but I definitely learned a lot!

Making some truly puzzling photographic choices during this time. This suite was thermography, which felt v fancy for someone who had never done anything beyond a laser printer. 

During this time, I designed my first invitation suite for my cousin, Alyssa! Her support in such a tangible way means so much to me… I had no idea what I was doing, didn’t know anything about the wedding planning process, and thought the whole thing was easy - I was probably kind of obnoxious to work with, haha! But I loved seeing what I had made come to life, and it was my first taste of how awesome print design can be. I was sooo proud of these and so excited for her to send them out!

The hilarious part of all of this is that at the time, I distinctly remember my fellow students and I talking about wedding stationery and working for yourself like it was the lowest form of design possible… like these were last resort options for an actual career. Little hipster Alison had a pretty big dose of humility coming her way!

You know what wasn’t depressing? Adopting Caspian as a graduation gift to myself. 

Graduating from college was a depressing event in my life. First, I looooved college. I loved the fresh starts of a new semester, I love learning, and projects, and the library, and living in what felt like a little big city where you could walk everywhere - I was so sad to leave it all behind. Second, I graduated at maybe the worst time to have a nonessential job. Out of the 40ish people in my graduating class, one person had a job lined up after college. One. Those boutique design firms I was so sure I was gonna work for were straight up bare bones, like they weren’t even taking unpaid interns because they didn’t have enough work.  Lucky for me, I got to keep my internship at the sustainability office for another year after college, but I really kind of hated my life at that time… I was applying for a million jobs, not hearing back from anyone, I didn’t get to be a student anymore, and things were not going how I thought they should. I applied for so many jobs at that time, like literally anything: Victoria’s Secret (didn’t have enough experience), Starbucks (never heard back), a Segway tour guide (no explanation but not getting that job was definitely a low point). I worked random jobs as a babysitter/personal assistant, and cleaned my mom’s house for extra cash, I even took a disastrous unpaid internship for a few weeks (they told me they were going to be hiring a junior designer soon, so I thought that would be my way in, except my first day was also their new junior designer’s first day… and they had little dogs that pooped and peed inside, and whoever saw it first had to clean it up. They also had no work for me to do, it’s like the only thing in my life that I haven’t felt bad about quitting). I sent out hundreds of unanswered cold emails and started trying to freelance.

A website design I did way back in the day. 

I cast a pretty wide net at first for freelancing - I did websites, branding, random design projects, I started a greeting card shop on Etsy, and you guessed it, I even did an occasional wedding invitation. 

Branding for crackers - I was so proud of this project. 

At this point, it was mostly friends and family who were getting married, but I had a lot of fun with those projects and started thinking that maybe wedding invitations would be easy money (lol again at little Alison). After a while of doing this, my internship ended, and I started trying to make it work full time. I began to refine my offerings, and my now husband and I started focusing on creating websites for small businesses, and I also did wedding stationery.

A table number I created for a styled shoot before I was really even a stationer. I thought I was so slick with the foil paper. 

The wedding stationery work was fairly sporadic. I was focusing more on the website design, and that was growing slowly. The only problem was that I really did not enjoy it. Website design started to feel repetitive, I didn’t like working with small business owners, and I particularly did not enjoy the fact that website projects can literally drag on forever. Every time I thought I had completed a project, one more small to do would pop up, and so on and so on. Around my 24th birthday, I had a small crisis, one where I was like WHAT am I doing with my life?! I could not see a way forward with website design, and to be honest, it was suuuch a grind, I felt like I was hardly making any money, and I didn’t even really like doing it.

I remember being on a long walk with David, and just talking out all of my options. I decided I wanted to do something event-based, and extremely briefly thought about being a wedding planner, and then immediately realized that I would not be good at that at all. This brought me back to wedding stationery. It’s something I had some experience with at this point but hadn’t really committed to it, and it felt like a really good fit - I love weddings, I liked that the project had an end date, and I love print work. Wedding stationery also meant that I could play with unique printing methods that commercial print work often didn’t have the budget for, and I felt like I already had my foot in the door a little bit.

It was around this time that I also decided to ask my friend Gabie if she wanted to be my business partner. She was living in California at the time, and we had bonded over our shared love of stationery, and doing crafts for her wedding, so it felt like it could be a natural fit.

After Gabie and I decided to start working together, I also had a job fall into my lap. I started working at Videri Chocolate Factory as a bar wrapper, which was really perfect for me at the time since we were just getting One + Only Paper started. So there was a lot going on.

Our first styled shoot! Photo by Becci Ames. 

Gabie and I started out by creating a ton of sample invitations and staging a styled shoot at the Merrimon-Wynne House. This is also when I started getting into watercolor. It was a crazy time. Gabie was in the process of moving back to North Carolina, I was finishing up some last website clients, we were both working other jobs, and trying to get this dream going. I remember launching the One + Only Paper instagram account, and feeling so excited and discouraged at the same time… we had like 20 followers, all of whom we knew, and it was just like, will anyone ever hire us?

Our very first instagram post. S/O to the ten people who liked this post. 

Slowly we started to gain some traction, with small jobs at first, and then bigger invitation clients. More importantly, we got the business side of things set up (I say ‘we’, but honestly that was all Gabie), and slowly started to figure out a process, and how we wanted to work.

The weirdest part about all of this is that this is when I started to feel comfortable being a business owner. Back when I was freelancing, I was so adamant that I was a freelancer and not a business owner, I guess because it felt too scary? It’s crazy, because now I love a lot of the challenges that come along with being a business owner, but I felt so afraid to own that title for so long. I guess I had to grow into it.

Things were getting busier at One + Only Paper, and around this time is when Gabie and I decided to part ways. At least from my perspective, it was a positive step forward for both of us. Starting a business is stressful and intense, and a process that lasts for years, and we decided that it would be better for both of us if that wasn’t a marathon we ran together. We’re still friends, and I owe Gabie a lot - I know that One + Only Paper would not be where it is today if it wasn’t for her huge part in building the foundation of this company, and I will always be grateful for that.

After our split, I pretty much put my head down and started working hard to achieve my goals. I learned so much that following year. It was the first time I had to manage multiple client timelines, and I learned a lot about setting expectations, building relationships with my printers, and how to manage my time. The year after that felt like one step forward and two steps back - I was busy with clients all year, but I was also SUPER busy with clients all year. I barely had a minute to breathe, much less figure out how to improve my processes or do anything else to drive my business forward.

And that brings me to today! In some ways, 2019 feels like a fresh start for me - at the end of last year I had some time to reflect on what I learned in 2018 and put a few things I’d been thinking about for a long time in motion, and I’m super excited to see what the future holds. I’ve learned so much in the past couple of years, and this feels to me like the year that I’m going to put it all together and see what I can really do.

If you have made it this far, please leave a comment so I can send you a personal thank you note for reading basically my life story - Gretchen Rubin said it best when she said the days are long but the years are short. I can’t believe I’ve been out of college for almost 9 years now - I simultaneously feel like I’ve come such a long way, and like I’ve only just begun!