#sticking fingers in your ears and going lalala

[tenok]

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[cavityinmybrain]

Traumagenic systems who are pro-endo are pro-misinformation and therefore only hurting the cause more

That is why we dislike pro-endos as well

so what im hearing is “no we dont support all traumagenic systems. only the ones we agree with”

[astrologanize]

june 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: hmph, it seems that there may be some careless decisions that catch up with you this month but you will also be realizing where you've been wasting energy and what risks are worth taking vs not. risk will be taking on a practical meaning for you as this month presents you with very little choice but to change your routine. emotional baggage will be surfacing as the universe pops a few of your balloons and you're gonna have to sit (helplessly) in those feels & endure - it will be okay

taurus sun: it's a month for y'all to show lessons learned so you will be placed in situations that grant you the opportunity to demonstrate your ability to find proper resolve & acceptance. do you want to stay stuck in a situation/cycle? let's hope not. try to set aside your pride and insecure reactions and actually allow for genuine understanding/rapport

gemini sun: you're definitely going to be considering the longevity/trajectory of certain parts of your life throughout june. overall your month will be one thing after another happening, i'm not seeing too much interference, but in the back of your mind you will be in a processing mode. this year there has been a lot about what you're holding onto/what you need to release and with jupiter's ingress into gemini you're going to start finding your freedom. now isn't quite the time to make decisions but it is the time to get motivated with assurance in your capabilities

cancer sun: what truly fulfills you? what do you definitively feel and what emotions are running amuck? this month you're going to have moments of regressing, you may behave brash at times, and it's really you trying your hardest to deflect & put a cap on your emotions because you're having a difficult time maneuvering proper self-care for yourself. there are in fact things that you need to work on this month and in order to do so you need to stop trying to have control and walling people off. no sticking your fingers in your ears and singing 'lalala i don't care i don't wanna deal with this'

leo sun: oh goodness...i am 57439753% seeing a theme of unexpressed feelings, resentment, bitterness, and emotional hurts that you are not over yet. let's try not to go overboard with speaking our minds about these things because although it is terribly important that you do finally express your grievances, let's not snowball a situation & make it worse or unnecessarily burn bridges. you will be feeling quite formidable this month and ready to take on challenges, which does involve you doing things out of your comfort zone. just remember to keep your dignity, keep things cute and know that the energy you put out comes back to you - maybe you can even correct some wrongs that you played a part in

virgo sun: 'decode' by sabrina carpenter, 'landslide' by fleetwood mac, there's this theme of coming to terms with a chapter being over and the aftermath of that, and/or with you realizing that this is what something is - this situation/person isn't changing/it's settled and you have your answer(s). so this month is a month for you to tend gently to this process of maturation with this current reality, you may not be feeling inspired at all and you may be feeling like you have no clue about anything right now but things are unfolding as they shall - remember to be kind to yourself

libra sun: welp, somehow once again (same as in april) you will be having opportunities to show lessons learned. this time around there is deeper introspection and any illusions that have yet to be revealed will be revealed/any falsities will find truth. other people will have a lot to say this month, you will have a lot to say this month, and some shit talking is bound to happen - it seems that softening/having kindness will be highlighted though so perhaps you'll choose to kill 'em with kindness or you'll be reflecting on times where you extended too much grace to someone. regardless, try to be the bigger person and take the high road

scorpio sun: i guess whenever a sign is in need of a change the song "something has to change" by the japanese house comes through because that's exactly what came to mind. you're going to be considering what in your life has actually been productive & conducive for you, what has brought you unhappiness, where you have gone too far, and throughout june there will be plenty of moving parts as your sense of stability is rearranged. plans will fall through, your routine is having to change, and ultimately you will be having to adjust like crazy. the world is not necessarily your oyster this month, try to recognize behaviors/situations that have gotten out of hand and contain yourself

sagittarius sun: this month you're going to be meditating on reaching your potential, whatever that means to you, and in the process you will be thinking about what has come to pass and what you have yet to figure out. there may be past connections that you're in your feelings about this month, there may be issues within a connection that you're not dealing with yet, there is just something in your life that is leaving you feeling unfulfilled and you are not addressing it - perhaps you don't know how. there will be distractions throughout june, things that interfere with productivity/work and this may involve actual changes when it comes to your work/job. now is a time for you to embrace some growing pains so try to lessen your expectations and demonstrate restraint

capricorn sun: there is an overarching sense that something is thrown off for you, it's almost giving stir crazy...like feeling stuck and unhinged. throughout june you're going to be trying your darnedest to maintain objectivity and sensibility as you persist through a lack of assurance...like yeap i am choosing to be cool calm & collected, am i actually confident at all in what i am doing? nope. try to remember to breathe deeply this month and avoid being overly reactive - some solutions may be simpler than you think

aquarius sun: the girls are fighting!!! lol. something is not going to go your way this month and you are noootttt going to be happy about it, my goodness. if you have plans in mind for june then they may not happen or they may not happen the way you want, you may reach a dead-end with something/someone, whatever it is...you're like...this is not acceptable and i want to fight about it. how about instead you practice your ability to be an aquarius that knows how to work with others and work through things with others, try to be reasonable rather than manic

pisces sun: this month there is an overarching theme of honing in your energy and maturing but not in a way that is going to be experienced as heavy. throughout june you will be feeling pretty good about yourself and in light spirits, you will be socializing and adapting and being confident amongst others. there may be some gossip this month, maybe a lil petty drama, whether it's you involved in it or spreading it or just being adjacent to it. your best advice at this time is to be assured in your standards/moral, hold yourself in a healthy regard - not in a judgmental/nitpicky one, and be direct. try not to baby anyone this month and be overly attentive/accommodating either (i suppose that is a part of holding yourself in healthy regard)

[scrambleseggy]

I think something wild about being an afab going on T at almost 30 and also being someone who’s lived an overall queer experience under a somewhat tedious labeling process is that I have MET toxic masculine trans men. For the record, I very much appear as a cis woman to people, and most people I meet just kinda sum me up as “some sorta lesbian.”

TW from some harsher personal experiences.

Back in my early 20’s, one of my FTM franchise managers sexually harassed me at a company party very inappropriately. Within the same time frame, one of my now ex-friends and on-site manager was dating a trans men who fit ALL the stereotypes of toxic masculinity: disregard for others, pavement princess giant truck, constantly talking over others or using his strength as a source of intimidation (and I would say a source of overcompensation as well lets be real here lol). At a certain point he made this ex-friend cry so much, I had to ban him from my house and tell him I’d try to get a restraining order if he came back.

So it does really annoy me that there seems to be an ignorant group of people who form online when trans women speak about transmisogyny within the community. Because there are trans men out there who act like complete douchebags and assholes to validate themselves in their identity or they’re just plainly assholes, and this is something I would see a lot at gay clubs as opposed to tight knit groups or niche online circles. Trans women and others are trying to tell ya’ll that this is a problem that happens and some of you are childishly sticking your fingers in your ears and going “LALALA TRANSANDROPHOBIA SHHHHHH” and it’s like… Ya’ll, you don’t have to turn a blind eye to this shit because quite frankly it’s embarrassing and very misinformed.

I will say however that as someone who is thinking about transition now, I can empathize with the knee-jerk reaction as well. It’s really scary to have people tell you the negative things you could become or ways you could hurt people. It can actually in my experience be a whole driving force in continuing to remain dysphoric through your life because it’s better to do that than feel like you may end up being completely alienated from everyone, especially if all women are a very important part to you in your life.

The whole “T is poison” thing runs deep. I always had this fear that the moment I’d start it would be the moment I would become the very thing I’m made to be afraid of even if it’s what I want to be. It’s such a difficult ball of yarn to unravel. What if I did get male privilege, but even in my gender euphoria, I end up hating myself anyway? What if I don’t get male privilege or “pass” but people in the “community” (such a loose and confusing word imo) also hate me and then I have no one? If straight women treat me bad after or before “passing”, if lesbian women see me in ways I don’t want to be seen, if cis straight men think I’m a freak and gay men think I’m an intruder… Where does that place me in the world? And who really am I? Will people believe me less or more when I’m hurt by others?

I think it’s atleast something for people to consider because as someone who’s dealing with really bad dysphoria right now, these are the kinds of thoughts that have been running through my head.

It’s also good to remember that online is online and real life is real life. Yes sometimes they reflect each other, but oftentimes, people lie on the internet (GASP!) and speak in exaggerations.

This is why it’s always good to try and strive for local connects to maintain your own sanity. At the end of the day, I know my own friends who still see me as the same person. And getting to know my own family of queer people of all kinds who I love dearly and they love me back does make the world feel like a more understanding place and less like a cruel and divisive one. I guess it’s just something to keep in mind.

[buf309]

Idk what happened but I had a crisis and a Twilight x Franky ship popped in my head one day. I want it GONE. What do I do.

Buddy, that's the plotbunny came knocking at your door 😱

I'm really sorry to tell you this... That evil bunny is extremely persistent, until you write/draw out what it gives you, it will whack those brainworms against your brain day in and day out 😬 nonstop 😬 24/7 😬

I'd know, it's doing that to me too 😔

Just... write it down, most of the time, the bunny will be satisfied and go away.

Or... you can figuratively stick fingers in your ears and go "lalala I can't hear you" by going to AO3 and binge-reading about a ship of your choosing? until the bunny gets bored and leaves you alone?

... Yeah. That's all I can think of 🤔 I hope those would help.

[abyssanon]

Should I be taking notes or sticking my fingers in my ears and going lalala?

Also, hi again, Shi.

@suddenlyauntiemaya

It is none of your concern. ....but...greetings. I'm afraid I will have to leave soon, can't leave my work too long...

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

Can I get the top 5 facts about your vampires please?

Ok so firstly I need to say I've changed their names since I posted the ref about them. The goth one is Billy now and the rocker dude is Robbie. Gonna do two facts about each of them then one fact about them both to keep it fair

1. Robbie was a draft dodger before getting turned. His eventual sire found him in a really rough spot and used that against him to get Robbie to lure in victims. Robbie's turning really (excuse the pun) drove a stake between the two. It was a really messy breakup (Robbie killed his sire). Two things came out of the relationship- Robbie isolating himself from connection (until he accidentally turned Billy), and his tendency to show his affection through feeding his partner.

2. He latched onto glam rock aesthetics because he stumbled into a shitty basement show while dilerious after his turning. It was the worst night of his life- just totally off his shit on a combination of vampiric hunger, guilt from killing his partner because they attacked him, and stoned out of his mind trying to deal with it all- and something about the outfits and the music just imprinted onto him in that moment. He doesn't go all out on the outfits like he used to, but he still has all of them. He likes to haunt seedy bars with live music to recapture that feeling.

3. Billy is just. So fucking squeamish. They were teased their whole life for being a scardy cat who fainted at the sight of blood. They may be goth but they cannot handle anything scarier than scooby doo. it's bad. And its barely gotten better now that theyre a vamp. Which is why they hang around Robbie, who's all too happy to keep his new friend fed. They consider this whole situation a cruel joke against them.

4. Billy was a vegetarian before turning, which they still consider themself to be because they still don't eat animals. Don't try and tell them humans ARE animals they aren't listening sticking their fingers in their ears LALALA CANT HEAR YOU. They can deal with people being killed Hurt for their own survival, it's mostly just the gore they can't handle.

5. Before finding each other, both were just incredibly lonely people. Billy was going through that mid 20s crisis and Robbie hasn't been close to anyone since before he turned. Billy resents Robbie for turning them and absolutely takes it out on him, Robbie is deeply afraid that this is going to blow up and turn into a repeat of his own turning if he ever gets too close to Billy and so refuses to open up in any way. But neither wants to leave because Robbie is terrified of being alone again and Billy refuses to take actions that would help them get over their squeamishness

[rise-my-angel]

I swear to fuck I will write essays on why they are incorrect and should mind their own business.

Anon...you do know the block button exists right? It's a magical thing. And filters. It's like earplugs and eye patches for your feed. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going "LALALA" would look less childish than what these anons are doing right now.

The problem is a lot of certain people who give me issues, specifically will "stalk" my blog. Meaning they routinely come here and check what I am saying, because sometimes as soon as I say something they do not like, before the post even has a chance to gain traction, they are in my asks about it already.

Some of these people do not want to block or filter out content they don't like. They go looking for it, because they enjoy the arguing and the judgmental behavior. They want a reason to be mad, and they know I am outspoken enough that eventually I will unintentionally give them a reason to feel as such, and they will then jump into my asks and talk down to me for saying something they had to go out of their way to read in the first place.

[immortal-rice]

muting someone when they're being annoying is like the online equvalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going lalala i can't hear you

[rillette]

Sorry my mistake. Hal's passive isn't obliviousness, it's hard denial. The obliviousness can possibly be born from that

The guardians SAY the rings are powered by willpower but really they're powered by sticking your fingers in your ears and going lalala I cant hear u

[soaplantro]

yknow if you keep taking down all the posts that say tumblr is run by terfs and nazis and do nothing about all the terfs and nazis using the website, people are going to start believing that tumblr is run by terfs and nazis.

the solution is simple: stick your fingers in your ears and go ‘lalala’ until you fire two people for the sake of PR and go back to business as usual doing nothing about the terfs and nazis

[aflo]

@bitterbadfem-harpy so when wotc releases lore on alesha, niko, ashiok, yahenni, hallar, xantcha, alharu, et cetera, do you just stick your fingers in your ears and go LALALA

[soysaucevictim]

“more than ever, hour (work is never over)”

Summary: Logan goes for a run, and hits a snag when Roman seems to have found himself in trouble. Again. (This happens about a year before “Cherry Cola”, to be clear. Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Fluff, Light Angst, Sickfic(?)

Characters: Logan and Roman centric. Janus, Patton, and Remus mentioned.

Relationships: Logince (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Roceit (sexual/QPP*), Background Loceit (platonic)

Warnings: Lots of numbers, Himbro Roman, Roman Is A Disaster, illness, over-training, sleep deprivation, heat exhaustion, (not as bad as what happened in “Cherry Cola”), vomiting (mentioned), Logan Is A Good Friend

-

Logan was running his typical checklists before setting out for another HIIT routine over at the gym. He highly valued maintaining his cardiac and overall health. He wasn’t in the medical field like Janus is and Patton used to be, but he didn’t need those credentials to appreciate it.

Considering he was a 28 year old Homo sapien, his maximal heart rate would be 192 beats per minute. Obviously, he wasn’t keen on achieving nor surpassing exactly that red zone. To say there were diminishing returns, would be an understatement. Remus would take the notion as a challenge… to be sure.

But that value was necessary to calculate his initial target – 65% of that, to be relatively precise. 125, rounded up. He intended to reach that after some warm-up routine and the first lap or two. He would consider this the yellow zone.

Once that holds reasonably steady, his next goal was to go for 87% at the highest intensity. So, 167 BPM. Holding that line for at least a minute. 2 minutes, if he was feeling particularly bold, he was in pretty good shape at this juncture. This would be more of an orange zone.

After the spike in intensity, he would go down to 50% for recovery, or 96 BPM. Rest at that load for 3 minutes, in the proverbial green zone. And then crank the figurative gears back up to the 87% target.

He intended to repeat this for at least 10 rounds. Add more, if energy is willing. Sounded like a plan.

To hit these marks, one of the simpler ways Logan enjoyed were via the exercise bikes. But today, he thought he’ll do some laps around the indoor track. He felt he needed to work in some more devoted arm action, and that would be a reasonable way to hit this workout paradigm. This outline seemed elegant and flawless.

He reviewed all of that while he swapped out his casual shoes for runners, in the locker room.

-

It was exactly noon when he approached the starting line. He popped in some earbuds to his prepared playlists.

He was listening to the mix named “Warm-Up Playlist”. He knew his fellows would jab him for the plainness of it, but the utility simply couldn’t be argued with. It was a selection of songs that started at 50, incrementing up to 100 BPM in tempo. It helped him keep his pace.

He stood to the side, spending a couple minutes doing some preliminary exercises. Ankle circles, leg swings, pelvic loops, arm circles, and hula-hoop jumps. It’s important to keep all the relevant joints stable and readied. Janus would probably congratulate his refreshing fastidiousness, among their motley crew.

After that micro-checklist was completed, he started going toward a brisk walking pace. He was going to check his heart rate after a couple laps to see how close to 65% he was getting.

Halfway into his first lap, he was nearly knocked over by a blur wearing a red crop-top sweatshirt and matching shorts. Roman, clearly not paying attention to what he was doing. Predictably. Logan snorted and rolled his eyes. He had to table his thoughts about his friend’s whole methodology (or lack thereof, as far as he was concerned), or else he’d fall too far out of rhythm!

Roughly a quarter of the way into the second lap, Roman closed in on Logan again, he was going at a jogging pace to a slightly faster walk to match up with Logan. Roman waved and smiled at Logan, “Hey! Didn’t expect to see ya here, Specs!”

Logan thought the voice was Roman-typically cheery. Frankly Logan would be mystified about this man’s energy, if he hadn’t met Remus first. “Salutations.”

“Why are you going so slooow? Wanna race me? I bet I can totally run circles around you!”

“No. I have a plan I intend to stick to, Roman. You know this.”

Roman melodramatically threw up his arms and pouted at Logan, somewhat impressively coordinated to his slow jogging. “Fiiine. I’m off – I want to see how many laps I can get in, like... the next hour. Adiós, for now~”

Roman went from a jog to a run before he could get a response. Logan tutted before refocusing on getting to that 65% - that yellow zone. After the second lap, he drank some water and checked his pulse… hmmm, 55%. It was time to hit a jog. He skipped a few tracks toward that range and worked to match.

By the time Logan completed lap 3, he reached and held at 65%. So, he turned on a 1-minute interval timer and his “HIIT Playlist”, on his phone. Much of the music went at 120 BPM, give or take 30. This phase, he was going to rely on his fitness bracelet to tell him where he’s at, not enough time to do things digitally… rather, manually or with his fingers, to clarify.

He and Remus programmed this thing to flash his percentage progress, freeing up some mental space to not need to calculate that value repeatedly, whenever he looked at the monitor.

He picked up to a run for about another quarter-lap and broke into a full-tilt sprint. Every 20 or so seconds, he glanced at the bracelet, while keeping the majority of his attention to his surroundings and form.

20 seconds, 73%. Not good enough.

40 seconds, 84%. Logan grimaced and pushed his cadence up a bit more.

50 seconds, 86%. For the love of Archimedes… it’s okay. It’s close.

BEEP! 60 seconds, 88%. Orange. FINALLY. Okay, he thought he had a good read now, being consistent for the next sets should be easier.

-

Time to, figuratively, dial things way down. He spent approximately 20 seconds running, 40 more jogging, and BEEP.

He took a couple sips from his water bottle, before spending the remaining 2 minutes going at a walk.

1 minute, 30 seconds, 78%.

BEEP. 2 minutes, 71%.

2 minutes, 30 seconds, 60%.

2 minutes, 50 seconds, 53%.

BEEP. 3 minutes, 49%. Green. Logan sighed to himself, “Margin of error, you have to account for it… anyways.”

-

Round 2.

20 seconds, 76%. Better.

40 seconds, 85%. Almost there.

50 seconds, 87%. Orange, again. Locked on, Logan smiled. Now hold this for 10 more seconds…

BEEP!

-

Second active rest cycle.

Once he got down to a walk again, he observed that Roman was on the opposite end of the track. Still going at what he could only describe as an absurd pace.

Roman closed in when Logan was 2 minutes into this interval. 69%, by the way. Logan groaned, some of Remus’s sense of humor “rubbing off on him”. Why must people ascribe such crudeness to an arbitrary number, he wondered.

Roman was panting quite loudly, shouting down Logan, “Nerd- Nerd’s got some SPEED!”

Logan took a swig of his water bottle. “This is not the first time you’ve seen me manage this.”

Roman looked like he just realized he should have followed suit, smacking his lips and drinking several gulps from his own water supply. “R-riiight.”

“You really should pace yourself. On everything. Honestly.”

“HEY. Only Snakey McSnakerson gets to tell me that!”

“Is he here right now? Am I wrong?”

Roman was back to pouting, “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

“But you just-”

Roman cupped his hands over his ears, “Lalala – I can’t hear you!”

Roman ran off ahead of him again. Logan could only shake his head.

2 minutes 55 seconds, 51%.

BEEP. 50%. Green.

-

Round 3.

30 seconds, 80%. Not bad if he said so himself.

40 seconds, 84%. Margin of error.

50 seconds, 89%. Overcompensated somewhat, it would seem. Perhaps Roman’s competitive streak was “infectious”, today.

BEEP! 60 seconds, 91%. Orange, approaching red. Yeah, he was definitely overcompensating.

-

Third rest, fourth active, fourth rest, fifth active intervals... hitting his marks, pleasingly and without incident.

He was on his fifth rest, soon enough.

Once Logan was walking again, he thought he was up for extending his active intervals to 2’, for the next 5 sets. Things have been building palpable fatigue, but very manageable.

Roman still appeared to holding up, a short distance ahead of Logan, at this point. Perhaps he was slowing down. It was a few moments before the distance was closed again.

Roman was drenched, so Logan decided to ask him, “Are you quite alright?”

“Might be getting a little tired now, no big deal.”

Logan recalled some things Patton instructed all of them about and he looked at Roman more carefully as they walked slowly. Roman looked paler than usual. “Hmmm, is your head hurting, perhaps?”

“Maybe a little. Didn’t get enough sleep again, it’s probably that.”

“I imagine it couldn’t be helping but-”

Roman got a little agitated, “But what, Egg Head?”

“Are you nauseous?”

“I’m not ready to puke, not just yet, Bro Ham.”

“May I check your pulse? Or rather, how does it feel?”

“What are you getting at!?”

“Cramps? Dizziness?… I think you are exhibiting the signs of heat exhaustion.”

Roman looked like he was going to be short with Logan, but it was clear now that he was starting to get somewhat wobbly. Logan decided to prompt him again, “Here, let us go to the showers, you need to cool off.”

Roman knew he couldn’t fight Logan in his current state, “Fiiine.”

Logan was annoyed about cutting his workout short, but he could always resume later. This was more important, anyways.

-

Roman was lying on his back on one of the benches in the locker room. His outfit then saturated with cool shower water, holding a battery-power fan to himself that Logan let him borrow.

Logan was at his feet, “How are your symptoms now?”

Roman groaned, “You’re not “the doctor” in our group, would you please stop acting like it.”

“I do not wish to see you in the hospital, Roman.”

Roman sputtered a little, “Yeah well, I’m fine.”

“Stable, I suppose, yes. But I know you enough to know you are not “fine”.”

Roman almost shot up to rebut, but a wave of dizziness forced him back down. “Look. I just didn’t get enough sleep – mind was running a bajillion miles an hour last night. So many IDEAS to write down. And couldn’t get to sleep until way after… you know what? Nevermind.”

Logan did care and frankly saw a lot of similar tendencies between the two brothers. It disturbed him and made him wish he was able to help them get a better handle on their sleeping and general health habits. It seemed as though they were both at very high risk of something serious occurring. But at the same time, he recognized that this was not his area of expertise. All he could really do was try to be there for them.

“Speaking of which... I think I see my wall… approaching… going to-”

Before Logan could latch onto any inquiries about walls, Roman dropped the fan and started snoring. After a brief moment of worry, Logan was reasonably sure this was simply a nap, not a loss of consciousness. To his relief.

Logan thought idly, “I suppose I should at least inform Janus what occurred. Roman might not be fit to drive for a while longer.”

Logan tapped out a message, “Hey. I’m in the locker room with Roman. He likely had an episode of heat exhaustion, today. He appears to be doing okay right now. But I felt that it was worth mentioning it to you.”

It was not even 2 minutes before Janus responded with, “WHAT!?”

“He’s safe, just taking a nap. I suppose he wouldn’t mind if you took him home.”

“… omw. That dumb ass has some explaining to do. With love, of course.”

“Indeed, I shall see you shortly then?”

“Yeah, ttyl… thanks, btw.”

Logan supposed he should stick around to make sure Roman was safe before resuming his own agenda. He had to admit, like with Remus, he did enjoy seeing them get some greatly needed rest.

[themurphyzone]

Pinky the Snowmouse Ch 2

AN: I’m glad people like this idea so much. Sorry for calling you ugly in the last chapter, Brain. You’re adorable and I love you.

Ch 2: A Jolly, Happy Soul 

AO3 Link

Brain laid on his back in the cold snow, staring up at the snowmouse that was now moving and talking so fast that not even his logical mind could comprehend anything he was saying. 

“Happy birthday! Or happy early or belated birthday! Sorry, I don’t know when yours is!” the snowmouse exclaimed as he danced around with his stick arms in the chilly December air. He pirouetted and sashayed with ease, like he hardly weighed anything at all. 

“Surely, I ate a bad food pellet. Or a piece of moldy cheese. Perhaps indigestion or a nutrition deficiency,” Brain murmured. He didn’t bother getting up. His mind was overstimulated and he just needed the snow to numb his neurons. 

“I’m alive! I’m actually, really, truly alive!” the snowmouse trilled in a strange Cockney accent. “Egad, I can dance the Macarena and sing Joy to the World! Joy to the world, narf narf narf narf! Oh...well, I could sing if I knew the rest of the lyrics. But I do know the continents! There’s Antelope, Liverpool, Gobbledegook, Aloe Vera, Recess, Narnia, and Char-ooh, are you making a snow angel? That’s brilliant! I’ll make a snow angel too!” 

The snowmouse flopped down next to Brain, spraying snow everywhere as his limbs and tail flailed in every direction. 

Brain inclined his head towards the strange entity, shielding his eyes from the onslaught of snow. He expected the snowmouse to sink into the ground, leaving no trace of his existence behind. 

But the snowmouse didn’t disappear. 

“Well, there’s my angel!” the snowmouse said, blithely hopping to his feet. “Lovely, isn’t he? Anyway, let’s see yours!”  

The snowmouse had left an imprint behind. Brain could only stare at the newly formed snow angel. He didn’t move. He hadn’t yet determined if the imprint was real or if it was just an illusion. 

“Er...do you need instructions?” the snowmouse asked. “It’s really easy. All you have to do is swish your arms and-” 

“I don’t require instructions for such a frivolous concept!” Brain snapped as he leapt to his feet and pushed past the snowmouse. “And certainly not from a geographically challenged lump of frozen water.” 

He grabbed the string that was attached to the windowsill and hauled himself up, intending to go back into the lab and continue his plans for world domination. But a stick arm grabbed hold of the string just above his head, stopping him in his tracks when he was just a few inches off the ground. He clung to the string, glaring at the snowmouse who refused to leave him alone. 

“But I can play and move and talk just like you,” the snowmouse said quietly. His earlier playfulness vanished, an odd tinge of hurt in his tone. 

“Because you’re nothing more than a hallucination,” Brain replied. “Either from sensory deprivation or dehydration. Both conditions could potentially cause vision disturbances.” 

The snowmouse wiped his eye, several ice crystals collecting on the tip of his finger. But it was the high-pitched, broken whimper that made Brain pause when he was halfway up the string.

Could hallucinations make those noises? It sounded agonizingly real. 

And the snowmouse was still holding the string, which made it strangely easy for Brain to climb up without exerting himself too much. 

He wasn’t sure what compelled him to slide to the ground instead of going inside, but perhaps the snowmouse deserved a chance to prove his existence. 

“Listen, I’ll give you an opportunity to prove that you’re corporeal if you’ll stop crying,” Brain sighed. He hoped that would do the trick. He’d never been great at stopping tears.  

The snowmouse dabbed his eyes with his scarf, looking rather confused. “But I’m not in the military.” 

Perhaps the migraine he was currently developing was proof enough. 

“That’s a corporal, and this test has nothing to do with the military,” Brain explained. He pointed to the string in the snowmouse’s hand. “Tug that as hard as you can. If you’re real, the string will follow the laws of physics. If you’re not, the string won’t react at all.”

“Tug o’ war with the window latch! This’ll be fun!” the snowmouse exclaimed, his twig tail perking up, even though it lacked the proper musculature to behave like a real mouse tail. 

It seemed his emotions changed as easily as water. Flowing from joy to sorrow, then back to joy. 

The snowmouse took hold of the string. “One, ninety-six, three hundred and nine!” he called, yanking the string so hard that there was a distinctive snap, and the end that was attached to the latch fell to the ground.

Though part of Brain wanted to blame it on the wind, logically he knew the wind couldn’t have caused that snapping noise. And the frayed tip could only result from a sufficient, deliberate force applied from the opposite direction. 

There were no other possibilities to explain what he’d just seen and heard.

Which meant…

“You’re actually real,” Brain said breathlessly, unable to take his eyes off the frayed string. He touched several of the individual fibers that stuck out in every direction, and they weren’t an optical illusion. 

“Told you so!” The snowmouse twirled around on one foot as he tried to catch snowflakes in his mouth. 

"How are you alive though?" Brain asked. Nobody else's snow structures came to life. So why his? 

"How?" The snowmouse stopped twirling and grinned at Brain. "That's easy! You made a wish on Christmas snow!" 

What a ludicrous concept. 

"I don't believe in wishes," Brain scoffed. "And Christmas snow isn't any different from any other kind of snow either. The only difference is that you've proven you can affect the real world and I intend to find a logical explanation for it." 

"But it's true that Christmas snow makes all your hopes and dreams come to life!" the snowmouse said, leaning in so close that Brain had to step back to avoid the frosty breath against his face. “Don’t you have something you want more than anything else?” 

“I desire the world, but wishing on stars isn’t going to help me acquire it,” Brain admitted. 

The snowmouse tilted his head. “Have you ever tried wishing on a star?” 

Several times, when he was younger and more naive. When he believed that moronic Disney tagline of wishing on stars to make his dreams come true. 

Though he wanted to dismiss the foolish notion entirely, part of him wondered if he still had that childhood naivety somewhere. But there comes a time when everyone realized how cruel and harsh the world could truly be, and that innocence was forever lost. He was no exception. 

“I want that explanation, snowmouse,” Brain sighed. A change in subject was in order. It occurred to him that the snowmouse had no name either. And if he was going to be alive, then he needed one. But that could be remedied later. 

To figure out how the snowmouse was alive, he figured his best option was to retrace the creation process. 

“I rolled the main body first,” Brain said as he gathered a handful of snow into a pile. “Then I added a tail and legs.” 

The snowmouse tossed his own snow onto the mound, and Brain shooed him off. He didn’t want anyone disturbing his replica. 

Next came the head and ears. The snowmouse clapped his hands together. “It’s a very nice snow leopard! I’m calling her Stripes!” 

It didn’t resemble a snow leopard at all. Just a rough facsimile of the living snowmouse in front of him. 

“This is where your silk hat blew over with all your non-snow components,” Brain said. 

But the snowmouse wasn’t paying attention. “Lalala! Stripes the snow leopard was a happy, jolly leopard!” he singsonged as he wrapped his scarf around the lifeless mound of snow. 

“Cease your nonsense! I’m pondering,” Brain snapped. 

The snowmouse’s song trailed off into a soft hum, which wasn’t as disruptive, so Brain let it slide. 

“Zort! She needs a hat!” the snowmouse declared, and he removed the black silk hat from his head. 

And then he froze, the hat hooked on his fingers, just inches away from the so-called snow leopard’s head. His gravity-defying tail fell limp, his blue eyes nothing more than a pair of pebbles.

Cautiously, Brain prodded the snowmouse’s belly. No response. 

“Snowmouse?” Brain asked. “If you can hear me, say any of your nonsensical phrases.” 

But there was only the howling wind and engine noises from the slow-moving cars on the road. 

The once-lively, dancing, jolly to a fault snowmouse was silent and still. 

It was...uncanny. Disturbing. Quiet. 

An odd pang of loneliness crept into his chest and remained there. Though annoying, the snowmouse wasn’t bad company. 

The snowmouse didn’t become inanimate until he took off the hat. 

With trembling fingers, Brain lifted the hat off the snowmouse and examined it thoroughly. Could there be a degree of truth in that incompetent magician’s claim? 

He stared at the old silk hat with the pink flower. Then he looked at the unmoving snowmouse. Though the hat would be a valuable asset in world domination, he didn’t know how its magic worked. If it was unreliable for Hinkle, he wasn’t sure if it would work for him. 

And it just seemed to belong to the snowmouse. 

Brain placed the hat back on the snowmouse’s head, and a flurry of snowflakes swirled around his form. The tail lifted, the pebbles became a pair of blue eyes, and his arms cheerfully waved. 

“Happy birthday!” the snowmouse exclaimed as he did several pirouettes in a row. To Brain’s relief, he was skipping around without a care in the world. “Happy Valentine’s! Happy Opposite Day!” 

Brain took the scarf from the replica and threw it around the snowmouse’s shoulders. “I figured it out,” he announced. “The hat’s animating you.” 

The snowmouse’s eyes brightened. “Really? Narf! I thought I was animated by a bunch of overseas studios!” 

For the sake of his sanity, he was definitely better off ignoring some of the things that came out of the snowmouse’s mouth. Apparently, magic hats didn’t grant intelligence along with sentience. 

But he could finally move onto naming his creation. 

“You’ll need a name,” Brain said. “I can’t keep calling you snowmouse.” 

“How ‘bout Sam? Or Olaf?” the snowmouse suggested.

Brain shook his head. “You don’t resemble a Sam. And I refuse to call you Olaf.” 

“Hmmm, okay...call me Oatmeal then!” The snowmouse placed his hands on his hips, like he was actually proud of being named after a breakfast food. 

“Absolutely not,” Brain said. Since the snowmouse couldn’t come up with anything suitable, the responsibility of a name fell to Brain. 

The snowmouse’s simple nature would make him unfit for being named after any part of the brain. And Brain didn’t really care for winter-associated names either. 

A physical attribute would have to do. 

As the snowmouse waited for his name, he rocked back and forth on his heels, the pink scarf and flower swaying with the motion. Pink was for innocence and playfulness. 

“I’m naming you Pinky,” Brain declared. 

“Pinky,” the snowmouse tested his newly-bestowed name. “Pinky. Pinky! Egad, you’re very good at this naming business...er, I never got your name?” 

“The Brain.” 

Pinky grabbed Brain’s arm and shook it vigorously. “Well, thank you very much for naming me, the Brain!” 

Brain pulled away and clamped down on his still-vibrating arm with his other hand. “You don’t have to tack ‘the’ on every time. That’s reserved for more important functions. Just Brain will do.” 

“Okay, Just Brain!” Pinky giggled. 

Brain rolled his eyes. “Now that we’ve taken care of important matters—umph!” 

He was hushed with a twig finger over his mouth. 

Pinky tilted his head from side to side, taking in their surroundings curiously. “Where are those pretty bell sounds coming from, Brain?” 

Brain shoved Pinky’s finger off his mouth. His ears twitched at the sound of bells and carols in the distance. Despite the below freezing temperature, the sound was joyful, welcoming, and somewhat cacophonic. 

“It’s from the town square. It’s just your typical Christmas fanfare for when they light the tree once darkness falls,” Brain said. With the overcast sky, it wouldn’t be long before dark. Most cities had a giant Christmas tree as decor for the holiday season. It wasn’t anything special or unique. The reminders for the event were posted all over the place. 

“Narf! A Christmas tree lighting!” Pinky gasped, clasping his hands in excitement. “Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight before?” 

Brain had passed by the tree many times in the past few weeks during his nightly quests for world domination. It was just a large tree with added baubles and lights. No different from any other Christmas tree. 

“They light the tree every night throughout December. I doubt it’s worth the excitement. But the light from the tree is so great that the lampposts in that area don’t need to be turned on for visibility,” Brain said. 

Though he had far more pertinent matters to attend to, Pinky was far too enamored by thoughts of the Christmas tree lighting. Brain had the feeling he’d be dragged into this while kicking and screaming. 

“Then what are we standing around here for, Brain?” Pinky cheered as he pulled away from Brain and recklessly darted towards the street. “Follow me! O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, lalalalala!”

“Pinky, stop!” Brain shouted, running after him at a speed he never knew he was capable of. His fingers closed around the back of Pinky’s scarf and hauled him back, just before a plow could smash into him at full force. 

Breathing heavily, Brain watched as the plow barreled down the street, steadily pushing snow as it disappeared around a corner. 

He crossed his arms and glared at Pinky for his lack of awareness. The only sound was the distant sleigh bells. 

“Um....on second thought, maybe you shouldn’t follow me.” Pinky ducked his head sheepishly. “Thanks.” 

“First sensible thing you’ve said in your entire existence,” Brain sighed, clutching his chest as his heart rate went back to normal. “If you want to survive long enough to see the lighting, I suppose I have no choice but to come with you.” 

“Pretty lights, here we come!” Pinky perked up and took off running, thankfully staying on the sidewalk this time. 

Unfortunately, Pinky was too caught up in Christmas festivities to notice something so vitally important. 

“You’re going the wrong way!”  

End AN: Decided to split this chapter so that Pinky’s introduction and the events at the city square are separate.

I just think it’s cute how Frosty’s first words are ‘happy birthday’, so I kept that intact. Similarly, he can’t count either. Sam the Snowman is the name of the narrator of Rankin Bass’ Rudolph. And I had to include the gag where the weird kid tries to name Frosty ‘Oatmeal’. I just find it funny. And I have no idea where Olaf is from.

Some elements of Christmas Carol and Polar Express kinda snuck their way in (sue me, but not really cause I’m not doing this for profit.) The 1984 Christmas Carol movie and Polar Express are my favorite Christmas movies, mostly with Brain thinking he ate something bad that caused him to hallucinate a snowmouse coming to life.

Also borrowed a gag from the Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation special (also a favorite!) with Pinky nearly getting run over by a snow plow. I can’t help but laugh at that Frosty gag every time I see it.

[jungshookz]

no but like what if one day ballet!yn was being teased by some of the girls in the class during their pre-class stretch about how she thinks balletteacher!jm is a SMOKE n shes like gUYS SHUT UP but jimin is like >:))) oh oKAY

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader

➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!!! mr. park is back n hotter than ever!!! everyone seemed to miss him so he’s bACK i’m going to be honest with u there is some sexual tension here but we all saw that coming 

➺ wordcount: 3k

➺ what to expect; “park jimin is a tall glass of water and we are all thirsty.” 

➺ optional reading: not necessary but you can read this drabble before getting started on this one! 

➺ note; this was sent in a whiLe ago!! better late than never >:-)i have no idea why i was suddenly inspired to write aLL of this tonight because i have to wake up at 8 and it is currently 2:15am and i haven’t showered yet but i had to do it for ballet teacher jimin because just like y/n i too am hot for teaCHER

                                  »»————-　♡　————-««

“surprise, surprise… look who’s late again!” seulgi smiles a little toO sweetly as you stumble into the classroom

“the bus was late, it’s not my fault-“ you grumble as you drop to the floor to join the other girls who are in the middle of warming up

“well, you should think about leaving campus a little earlier if it means coming here on time like the rest of us.” seulgi sighs as she turns side to side to check herself out in the mirror

“oh my god-“ you gasp in mock shock in the middle of pulling one of your leg warmers on

seulgi glances at you from the mirror “what?”

“…is that a pimple i spot?” you point up towards her forehead and her eyes widen in horror as she leans closer to the mirror

“what?!” she smooths her fingers over her forehead furiously and you can’t help but snort

that’ll keep her occupied for the next twenty minutes or so

you let out a grunt of relief as you focus on working the kinks out of your shoulders and your neck while rolling your ankles at the same time

pop crackle snAP

ever since the incident (aka you attempting a grand jeté and failing miserably leading to a very sprained ankle) you’ve been taking it easy buT you went to a check-up over the weekend and the doctor says your ankle seems to have healed veRy well and you can go back to doing what you were doing

as long as you knoW what it is you’re doing, of course

maybe stay away from the grand jetéing for now  

“so, y/n, when are you going to tell us what went down between you and mr. park?” ailee nudges your thigh with her foot and you let out a light laugh before raising a brow

“what are you talking about?” you arch your back and hiss quietly when you feel a particularly loud crAck

goD that’s good

“you know, when he basically kicked us all out of the room just to help you and your ankle.”

“you weren’t even there when we got kicked out, ailee.” wendy snorts and ailee rolls her eyes

“i know, but still!!”

“i don’t know what stories you guys have concocted but he basically just patched up my ankle for me and that was it.” you shrug while rolling out your pointe shoes

“don’t play dumb, y/n!” lisa calls out from across the room and you twist slightly to look at her “park jimin is a tall glass of water and we are all thirsty-“

“oh my god, you guys!” you interrupt her before she can finish and a couple of the girls burst into giggles “he’s our teacher!”

“i don’t know about you but i’m veRy hot for teacher-“

“it’s unprofessional because we’re his students and we shouldn’t even be talking about him like this-“

“but you have to admit you’ve thought about kissing those lips-“

“do you guys remember that time he yawned and stretched and his shirt rode up a little bit because i definitely do-“

“oh god and he smells so fucking good all the time-“

“and that ass just does noT quit!”

“i would kill like ten people if it meant i could sit on his face.” seulgi mutters as she smooths some tinted chapstick over her bottom lip

“seulgi!” you laugh and peel your leg warmer off jusT to hurl it at her “it’s concerning that you have a set number of people to kill just to sit on someone’s face”

she catches it right before it hits her arm before throwing it right back at you “it’s more concerning that not once have yoU ever openly admitted to thinking that park jimin is insanely attractive-“

“first of all, we should be addressing him as mr. park because he told us to-“ you point out as you slip your leg warmer back on “and secondly, i’m here because i want to become a professional ballerina, not because i want to gawk at my teacher like the rest of you-“

“hey, we wanna be professional ballerinas just as much as you do, but who says we can’t have a little fun?” jisoo giggles before wiggling her eyebrows

“you know, there’s only one logical explanation i can come up with to explain why you don’t gush about mr. park the same way we do.” seulgi sighs as she takes a seat across from you and begins to stretch out her legs

“enlighten me, detective kang.” you can’t help but roll your eyes because wHY are you guys still talking about jimin when you should be talking about,,.,.,. like.,,.,. stretching? or somEthing else related to ballet and noT your teacher

also

on a slightly unrelated note

you and seulgi have kind of become friends? but not really

you guys have a best frenemy kind of relationship if that makes any sense

the two of you are still very much competitive with each other anD will not hesitate to take jabs at each other when the opportunity arises

but other than that you guys sort of get along

except when performances are around the corner because she gets super bitchy about getting whatever role it is she wants

anyways

back to it

“because you have a crush on him.”

you immediately freeze in the middle of tying the ribbons around your ankle

“i’m sorry, i what now?”

“you have a crush on him!” seulgi smirks veRy cockily “think about it! you don’t like it when we talk about him because you want him allllll to yourself and you can’t even fathom the thought of another girl lusting over him-“

and this would be one of those moments where seulgi likes to get under your skin just to get a reaction

you poke your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you take a second to consider the possibility

do you have a crush on your teacher?

he’s mr. park

you can’t have a crush on mr. park because he’s mr. pARK

he’s very strict and controlling and sometimes a little mean like that time he yelled at you in front of the class for being the only who missed a count  

but also he can be really sweet and caring and surprisingly funny and you’ll never admit it to anyone for as long as you live but one class you started daydreaming (this was the class he yelled at you about missing the count lol) about what it’d be like to hold his hand and kiss his cheeks and dig your nails into his oh-so broad back as he-

your movements slow down slightly as you think about what happened on the night of the incident

“you really are something, you know that?” he laughs lightly as he smooths the bandaid over your cut

you can’t help but let out a little huff “…is that a good thing?”

he gives your knee a little pat before reaching over a tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear

“miss y/l/n - it’s a very good thing.”

“that is the most ridiculous theory i have ever heard in my entire life-“  

“every single time we talk about how attractive jimin is, you get all quiet and blushy in the corner and you neVEr contribute to the conversation-“

“yeah, maybe because there’s a line of professionalism and respect that i need to stay behind unlike yoU guys-“

“oh, and now you’re getting all defensive because you know for a fact that every word coming out of my mouth is TRUE! just admit it, y/l/n, you have a crush on our teacher-“

“i mean, i think i have a crush on mr. park-“ jisoo chips in and you and seulgi immediately turn to glare at her as if to say stay ouT OF IT

“i- you know what, this is just ridiculous!” you scoff and get up off the ground “i’m going to go and get some water to cool off-“

“oh yeah, you’re gonna cool off? is thinking about jimin’s face in between your legs getting you all hot and bothe-“

“jesus ch- lalalaLALALALALA-“you immediately stick your fingers into your ears and start babbling loudly while seulgi starts speaking louder and louDER

“you loVE HIM!!! YOU WANNA KISS HIM ROMANTICALLY!!!” seulgi’s practically shrieking at this point and the other girls are having a hoOT

in fact some of them are chiming in to make fun of you as well

“oOoooh y/n do you wanna hold his hand-“

“do you think about him in class sometimes?? a couple of us have noticed that moony look in your eye from time to time-“

“maybe if you ask him nicely he’ll help you with stretching-“

“y/n, look, this is my demonstration of what you wanna do to mr. park-“ lisa turns around so that her back is facing you and she wraps her arms around herself before sliding them up and down sensually anD making kissy noises

“oh, real mature, lisa-“ you take your fingers out of your ears and wince because woW these girls are loud “okay, everyone shuT UP-“

everyone quiets down a little but they’re still giggling and whispering among each other

“what’s it gonna take for you people to drop this duMB theory??” you cross your arms and raise your brows as you tap your foot on the ground impatiently

“all you have to do is admit that you have a crush on our teacher and i’ll be satisfied.”

“but i don’t have a crush on him!”

“y/n, need i remind you that i’m, like, slightly psychic? because you are totaLLy lying through your teeth right now.” seulgi inspects her nails casually and you let out a quiet huff

okay

you know what

yEs

maybe you do have a crush on jimin

maybe it’s true that you don’t like it when the other girls talk about him because a part of you selfishly wants him all to yourself

maybe everything seulgi’s said is truE

and the whole class obviously knows that you like jimin because a) seulgi is the biggest gossip on the planet and b) even if seulgi said that the earth was flat, everyone would believe it regardless because she iS the top dog around here

and if you admit it then hopefully they’ll leave it alone forever

“alright, fine!” you clear your throat and stand up a little taller “i have a crush on park jimin.” you gasp dramatically and make little jazz hands

you know what

if you’re going to confess you should do it right

you should go aLL out

“in fact, i think mr. park is a complete smoke show. i think he’s the hottest person i’ve ever seen in my entire life, and yes, i have noticed his pillowy lips, and i did notice that time he stretched and revealed his glorious six pack to the world, and i am very much aware that he smells like he stepped straight out of a shampoo commercial, and yes, you’re right, he has a veRY nice ass - and you know what, seulgi? i’ll say this one just for you.” you narrow your eyes and lean forward a little bit “i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him.”

seulgi nods slowly and presses her lips together

it almost seems as though she’s stifling a laugh

…which was not the reaction you were expecting

you were expecting her to get all gloaty and i-told-you-so about it

“wow. and now everyone’s gone quiet!” you point out the obvious before crossing your arms

her and the rest of the girls get up off the ground and immediately form a line before getting into first position

and you know exactly what that means

every single hair on your body prickles to life when you hear someone slurping up the last of their drink behind you

“good afternoon, ladies.”

oh

my

god

“good afternoon, mr. park.” everyone (except for you because you are understandably moRTIFIED) responds politely

you feel like your feet are glued to the ground and you want nothing more than for a black hole to appear and swallow you entirely

“i said, good afternoon, ladies.”

it takes every fibre in your body to twist around slowly and you force yourself into first position

you’re a mere one and a half steps away from jimin and that’s making you more nervous than you already are

you swallow thickly

jimin offers you a sly smile as he runs a hand through his (newly dyed!!) ashy silver hair before taking his sunglasses off

“g-“ your throat closes up as soOn as you try to speak “good afternoon, mr. park.”

you feel like there’s a rock in your stomach

you also feel like you’re about to projectile vomit everywhere

why do bad things always happen to you

WHY

you just-

you just openly confessed that not oNLY are you romantically attracted to your teacher, you are also sexually attracted to your teacher!

great!

good one!

love that energy for you!

you know what

maybe it’s not as bad as you think

maYbe he didn’t hear anything

maybe you’re in the clear and you’re just overthinking it

“would you like to join your peers in line, miss y/l/n?” jimin asks and gestures towards the girls

“yes, sir.” you nod stiffly before quickly heading over to join lisa at the end of the line

the room is dead quiet as jimin sets his belongings down before taking his jacket off

oh god

he’s wearing that thin white shirt that gets a liTtle see through when he’s sweaty-

“how bad was it?” you lean over to whisper to lisa

her face is getting pink from how hard she’s trying to not completely burst into laughter right now

her cheeks are literally tremBLING

“he was here for the opening line and he was here for your final statement, which i think, pretty much summed up your entire speech.”

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

yep

it’s official

you want to: die

you’re already sweating through your unitard and you guys haven’t done anything

“no talking please, ladies…” jimin hums as he plugs his phone charger into the outlet

maybe you can just pretend like you lost your voice so you won’t have to speak for the rest of eTERNITY

“okay!” jimin claps his hands together before crossing his arms “i’m gonna rock your world-” you’re verRy aware of the fact that he maintains strong eye contact with you the entire time he says that “with some grand jeté’s today. everyone ready?”

“yes, mr. park.” everyone responds simultaneously except for you agAIN

“-es mr. park.” you blurt out at the last second

you stop nervously picking at your chiffon skirt when you see jimin’s eyes flicker down to your hand

oops

surprisingly enough jimin doesn’t jump straIght into the grand jetés right away (he’s taking it easy just for u because he’s still worried about ur ankle)

he makes everyone practice balancing and standing in the final position which is basically just standing up straight on your pointes

also anoTher surprising thing that he’s doing

he said that today was more of a casual class so he’s letting everyone talk amongst themselves while practicing

of course you haven’t said a word because your lips still feel like they’re glued together

also you decided it’d be best if you hung out at the very baCK of the classroom just to attempt to avoid being spotted by jimin

“arms straight… chest out… very good…” jimin slowly makes his way down the back row and you curse quietly when you feel yourself wobble slightly

your eyes widen in surprise when you feel two hands place themselves on your hips from behind

“back straight, miss y/l/n.” jimin reminds you gently before sliding a finger from the small of your back up to the centre of your back “arch here. chest out.”

his other hand slides around so that it’s resting right on your stomach and you feel like your entire body is on fiRE “squeeze your core tight.” he mutters into your ear

you feel your cheeks heat up almost immediately because that should noT have been as hot as it was

christ almighty

get it toGETHER

“you seem a little distracted today, miss y/l/n.” jimin murmurs quietly as he moves to stand in front of you

he leans back a little to look at both your arms before reaching over to raise your left arm a bit “everything alright?”

“everything’s alright, mr. park.” you somehow manage to keep yourself composed even though jimin is basically staring two holes into your soul right now

“mhm.” jimin reaches over and places his pointer finger under your chin before raising your head a little

you lock gazes with him and you notice a little glimmer in his eyes “can’t have you sprain your other ankle because you were too busy thinking about sitting on my face now, can we?”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[thedreadvampy]

look it's very simple most main cast tma characters (except possibly Basira and Sasha and MAYBE Tim) are reacting to not just supernatural trauma but clear, explicit childhood trauma and I think that's important to take into consideration.

Jon evidently came from a difficult place in the first place, and he was taught that he was an unwanted annoyance who'd derailed his grandma's life, that his intelligence was unpleasant, arrogant and inconvenient, and that the worst thing he could do was get in a grown-up's way. Of course he's bad at talking to people about his feelings. Of course he apologises for seemingly random things and tries to hide big problems and power through on his own. He had a really lonely childhood where he felt like an inconvenience, and now in adulthood it's deeply difficult to believe that anybody will help him and not hold it against him. Of course he comes across staid and aloof - he doesn't believe that anyone will like him if he isn't Doing Everything Right. It's so easy in that situation to worry so much about not being a burden that you freeze your friends out even as they can see you spiralling and you end up hurting them when in fact they'd be more than willing to offer help and get you out. It's why addiction is such an easy hole to fall in, because it feels like a way you can be self-sufficient and deal with your feelings without being a burden. Jon ISN'T a very closed off person naturally, he wants to reach out and be close to people, but he's been taught over and over (as many autistic children are) that he's too much, that he takes up too much space, that it's unfair for him to expect people to go out of their way to help him, so he boxes it away and shoves it down and turns to cigarettes, paranoia and denial in an attempt to manage the problem by himself. He's trying so hard to not be the Weird Kid, he's trying to play the part of what he thinks an archivist and a boss should be and blah his way through; he knows believing in weird shit opens the door to all sorts of stuff so he sticks his fingers in his ears and goes LALALA. he's deeply avoidant which ironically is why he often ends up diving in recklessly - it feels safe to only put yourself at risk (you who think you don't particularly matter, are unloved, and are an annoyance anyway) rather than wait and let others get involved and either judge you or get hurt. He didn't tell ANYONE that his encounter with Daisy had hurt him for SEVERAL YEARS because he didn't want to upset anyone. This speaks to me so much of a kid who growing up was always treated as underfoot, in the way, abnormal and with emotions and problems that weren't nearly as significant as the Important Grownup Things. I don't think anyone knew how to help 5 year old Jon with navigating his parents' deaths, and his grandmother's grief at losing her child probably made it very hard for them to connect whether or not she actually resented him the way he thinks she did. He was treated with bitterness and coldness his whole childhood, and he's never been given space to be angry about that because she was doing her best and dealing with a difficult situation, but it certainly left him with an expectation that trying to turn to anyone for emotional help and support will get you in trouble AND is unfair on them. Being with Martin, and indeed all his friendships and relationships, is hard to navigate when you've been taught for so long that exposing your vulnerability will get you yelled at or will upset people. You try to harden up and develop an exoskeleton but you're so chronically soft and in need of help and love so it spills out messy and you don't know how to take the walls down or build better ones up.

Martin's obvious, because his parental abuse is at the centre of his arc and is explicitly spelled out by Elias. He's so sure it's something he's done that's made his dad leave and his mum despise him, and he's hoping against desperate hope that if he can be Good Enough, little enough of a problem, helpful and invaluable, he can make up for whatever chronic flaw in his personality makes him unlovable. Of course he ISN'T unlovable, and none of his parent's treatment of him is his fault, but it's much safer to believe it's your fault and you can change it than it is to believe people who are meant to love you can just not hold up their end of the bargain for reasons totally outside your control. Much like with Jon, Martin has been taught to believe that he's a Problem - where Jon puts up walls and tries to be aggressively separate, Martin tries as hard as he can to prove himself Useful and Valuable while walling off an excess of humanity. Honestly though Martin's coping with it better than Jon throughout the series because he knows what it is and he's TRYING to push past the impulse to Not Be A Bother and actually let people love him. But he's still seeing the world through the lens of someone who's spent his whole life believing that the only way he'll deserve love is to become invaluable, to be useful, to be caring, to be needed, to be all give and no take, and that's not sustainable. And how much must it knock him back from trusting enough to ask for help when his boss (leave aside the love interest bit) talks about him like he's a buffoon and a waste of space however hard he's trying to be helpful and valuable, just like his mum has for years? Finding out that you matter enough to that person for him to risk his life to save you, and to really truly see you, goes a long way towards showing you that you're not always right to assume that people are lying when they say nice things about you and honest when they say cruel things about you - sometimes you are genuinely loved by people who ALSO see you as flawed. and while obviously after that the circumstances are very different I think we've seen Martin become more comfortable with his own tendency to acidity and sarcasm, anger and messy feelings, around not just Jon but in general (although also I can't talk about this without as usual observing how weird it is that people read Martin as sweet, servile and wimpy when he's consistently tough, sarcastic and brave AS WELL AS deeply lacking in confidence, afraid of conflict, emotionally giving, and terminally people-pleasing. He's right when he repeatedly says people underestimate him and don't see him - it's weird that the fandom is a big culprit of that)

Speaking of characters whose trauma responses are often overlooked, Melanie doesn't talk much about her pre-statement life but she's clear that it hasn't been good, and that other than her dad she's had nobody in the world she can trust. I am positive that her childhood was marked by parental abuse/neglect to at least a certain degree, because she was willing to kill her mum/let her die without much compunction (I THINK that's the implication of Elias' line about her mum's life insurance paying for her dad's care). To me (projecting), Melanie's fear of losing control of her own anger speaks to somebody who grew up in a volatile and probably physically violent home, and I suspect her mother was struggling to cope and lashing out at Melanie and her dad. (I also think that while it's unlikely to be made explicit because Jonny generally shies away from talking it writing about sexual abuse, that it's very probable that Melanie experienced adolescent sex abuse from some source and wasn't protected or supported. That's pure conjecture though based on how she acts.) I think she's definitely had issues with everyone in her family except her dad when it comes to her sexuality and that she's been largely estranged for a long time, and I think those are the kinds of things which, coupled with abuse and sidelining in adulthood, leave you with a lot of rage and nowhere to put it, and with a huge amount of difficulty trusting people. Undeniably, Melanie has been on the sharp end of other people's violent anger often enough to be really, really wary of ever giving her own anger free rein, or losing control of herself.

We don't know much about Daisy's childhood beyond what happened with Calvin (Pretty Damn Traumatic), but I think what I find interesting about Daisy is that she's definitely someone who, like many girls, struggled with that point in childhood where you're supposed to Stop Liking Boy (Fun) Things and Become A Girl. I think it's safe to say that Daisy was fairly subject to bullying and alienation in primary school, and I think people often overlook how badly that affects you your whole life. But also to be severely injured and traumatised, to tell people what happened, and to not be believed? That leaves marks. Marks that teach you that you can't trust that justice will be served, and you have to take the law into your own hands. I think there's also a lot of the Gendered Traumas happening around Daisy - she clearly has a conflicted relationship with femininity - but that's another post.