#steven lim x you

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧!𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: mentions of demons, ghosts, over all spooky stuff

↳ song: sweet dreams in sea major—miracle musical

masterlist!

• Shane leads an interesting life

• Er, afterlife, I suppose, considering he had only sprouted his black, fluffy wings after being plucked from the land of the living

• But I digress

• Besides—he was happy

• He had never been the kind of demon to engage in all that blood torture and acult shit anyways. Instead, he took pleasure in harmlessly scaring assholes or the occasion teenager that he would stumble upon durring the witching hour—although that was mostly code for a three am dunkin' doughnuts run

• "The munchies are a serious thing, Ryan. What can I say?" He had shrugged nonchalauntly once, grinning goofily down at his friend that had just been asking about the bags under his eyes—which resulted in tales of his midnight snack runs. You stood with your arms crossed not too far away, shaking your head slowly, but Shane could see the hint of a smile tugging at your lips

• "You really meet to get better sleep, dude. I'd hate to postpone filming for TMS, but you know I will if you aren't up to it. Doesn't mean that Steven won't give you hell for not letting him do his bit with Ricky though." Ryan had just sighed, rubbing at his own eyes as if the conversation itself had tired him out. But just like how Shane had noticed with you, he could see the ravenette resisting the urge to smile

• "I mean, insomnia is the first sign of possession after all. Can't have a supernatural being living inside of the company, our fans would give us hell." At last came his joke. It earned a snort from you, pleasing Ryan, whose eyes crinkled at the edges pleasantly

• Shane just grinned sharply

• If only you two knew

• That was another fun thing about his chosen predicament

• I mean, come on. A demon who's best friends with someone terrified of them? All the while pretending he doesn't believe anything of the sort? At this point, he should just up and leave for Juliard. A degree in acting was a shoe in for sure with how he had been living the past few years of his eternal damnation

• And it was all the more fun with you there as well, the yin to his and Ryan's yang. Always ready with just the right thing to say in the moment or a shitty pun you had heard the other day. Throw Steven in the mix and the four of you were thick as fucking theives

• There were some downsides though. With life (er, death?) there always was

• Ghost Files was one of the things Shane looked forward to the most at Watcher. Doing Buzzfeed Unsolved had been amazing, and even though he was an inhuman being that could crumble businesses with a flick of his pointed tail if he wanted to—demons did play a part in evil corporations after all—it felt liberating to build Watcher from the ground up with Ryan, Steven, and you.

• Plus, there was the added bonus of more shows now—one of which included puppets. He particularly enjoyed that one

• But Ghost Files was the crowned jewel. The one thing everyone—crew, audience, staff, even cameramen—looked forward to

• What can I say. Old habits die hard—and most of these people had been doing Buzzfeed Unsolved since they could properly hold a mic. It felt good to do something familiar

• And that's what it had been like for Shane. He was excited, no, downright giddy, to be back in the element of ghosts and ghouls

• It was fun to watch you and Ryan skirt around an entirely ghost free house, nerves on end as the two of you jumped every little noise. Most of which Shane made

• That's not to say that the three of you didn't find haunted places. Oh no. You most certainly did. The Sally House was the most memorable of them

• That demon really had been ready to kill Ryan and you that night. Right on the pentagram in the basement. But Shane had been able to coax (read: threaten) it into not doing anything but flash a flashlight once or twice

• But sometimes, his true form wasn't enough to spook off the spooks, so to say. It was rare, but occasionally some brave, or incredibly stupid, ghosts would try their luck at laying a hand on you or Ryan

• That got them a one way ticket to the second death they would ever have the pleasure of experiencing. The one delt out by Shane being arguably worse than anything that happened in their mortal lifetime

• He cared for his people. It was as simple as that. So what if that made him unethical as a demon. He played around with hand puppets half the time for fucks sake and he enjoyed it. He was far from an ethical demon at this point, and he was fine with that

• Didn't mean that having to ward off spirits didn't put him into a bad mood though

• Shane would probably never admit it, but the idea of something hurting you two while he wasn't there to protect you left a taste as bad as brimstone in his mouth

• "Shane? Dude, you're looking pale. Well paler than usual." You had stopped in the middle of filming once to comment on his appearance, trying to hide the way you sucked at your cheeks with anxiety. "Don't tell me you've finally cracked and begun to get scared by all this."

• Ryan had smiled at your joke. But the smile slowly slid off his face as he took another look at Shane, who was not laughing in the slightest

• "That Taco Bell we ate earlier didn't settle well, that's all." Shane's excuse was flimsy, but he couldn't care less right then. He just wanted to stay as close to you two and the crew as possible in case another spirit tried anything

• "Alright. But if you need to say the word and we can take a break." You said steadily, jabbing Ryan in the gut playfuly when he didn't automatically back you up

• "Yeah! Yeah, what they said. And jeez you didn't have to hit me so hard. Asshole—"

• "Oh you wanna go Bergara?" You had laughed, comically winding your arm up like Popeye used to do in the cartoons. Ryan scoffed, donning his Ricky Goldsworth voice as he began to fake fight with you

• The sight was enough to bring a small smile to Shane's face. The two of you always managed to do that

• "Nerds." He chuckled, bad mood already begining to lift a little

• "Loser." Both you and Ryan threw back the insult at the same time, laughing all the while

[corvidaenightcrawler]

SCREW THIS

*SEXYMANS YOUR GOD*

@poorly-drawn-puppet-history

Please do not mind the fact that I haven't drawn anything in weeks and this was done at 3:50 am on a drawing program I've never used before <3

[lenixsocial]

Watcher (and why nothing matters anymore):

So, in case you've been locked away under a proverbial bridge for a few days, Internet personalities Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara, and Shane Madej (known as Watcher) have elected to begin their own streaming service and ditch YouTube.

On the surface, that mightn't even seem like news at all.

After all, this sort of thing seems to happen all the time: The Try Guys left Buzzfeed to create their own company, Rhett and Link took the dive and diversified into paywalled entertainment a few years back with Mythical Society. Both of which however still rely on YouTube itself to generate views on the main channels, which funnel viewers into a FOMO type situation where "you can't miss" a special airing on the app (Mythical Society) or Patreon (Try Guys).

Watcher, in its infinite wisdom (stupidity, carelessness, unparalleled greed - take your pick) has decided that YouTube is pointless, and has moved ALL their content behind a paywall, claiming that the service was amping up to provide "TV quality programming", leaving only old content and the first episodes of the new shows up on their YouTube page as a subtle tease as to what you could get for $6/month.

It's now quite apparent from reading the comments section of their (now infamous) YouTube video, their official subreddit, and the tag on X that the fans were...not thrilled. The fingers began to be pointed within minutes. Name calling soon after. Then this blossomed into dissertations on why this was a horrible idea.

Then we found out that there was no app. Just a website. So you're paying for website access. Not a full blown streaming service to rival Netflix. Oh, and they don't even have their own servers, the videos are hosted by Vimeo. The deeper the comments section dug, the nastier the attacks got. Steven soon became the whipping boy. His past, his interviews, scanned and mercurially dug up for juicy tidbits (although all anyone gleaned from these was he's rich, was born rich, drives a Tesla in LA, likes fancy food, and has friends whom he values who are racist and possibly sexist and will not sever ties with them).

Then came the cries of incongruity. Shane Madej repeatedly said to "Eat the Rich", and here he was schilling for a platform that cost $6 a month. The cries began to pirate all of the new Watcher content because maybe he was under duress and was secretly telling them to do so. Fact is, I don't know if he was or what, but I'm certain he's under contract and wants his job.

Then came the videos from other internet users analyzing the video, and comparing this to the Try Guys situation with Ned a few months back. Both are disasters, each in unique ways with different players, and such like but here's the vast difference: none of this will even matter in a month.

Let me explain: We are in the total free fall stage of Watcher's Internet Streamer Service. What they do in the next 24-48 hours is crucial. If they revert back to their YouTube channel and apologize, they'll be fine. People will probably poke fun at them, but they'll be forgiven, eventually. But if they don't and they keep on, ignoring the fans, dousing the haters, and make it a month, I doubt we will see any resistance outside of a terse article or two.

Why? The collective memory span in this day and age is extremely short, many have likely already made judgment in their head and have passed said judgment. Therefore, they'll avoid the channel, and the streamer and will be blissfully unaware of any changes. Those who have joined up and paid will remain members, and those who have elected to remain subscribed will likely remain so and will watch the free content until they can afford the $6/month.

The thing is like it or hate it, if they decide to do nothing and ignore the public at large, they most likely will be fine. Maybe they will not have the hugest subscriber base, but people will forget about this. Something else major that is more salacious will spring up in the months ahead. Will there be lingering anger? Sure, but like I said before, these people have already passed judgment so they're already gone.

In an era of "nothing fucking matters" when your choices are sometimes entirely out of your direct control and are (at best) two sides of the same coin, it should be of absolutely no surprise to anyone that there is a fairly good possibility even after all that has transpired that nothing bad will happen. Lest we forget that old adage: "there is no such thing as bad PR".

Personally, I feel $6 is a tad much for a non-app based web streamer with little to no content. It was disingenuous to announce its launch internationally where even more people can't afford it, and some can't even view it. Steven wasn't upfront with who was in charge and now it really does seem like he's using the subscriptions to fund his international gallivanting. It's clear nobody wanted TV-show quality Ghost Files to take place in another country, nor did they want an old show revived with votes when you pay the first month's dues. They say it's a case of Watcher "not reading the room".

[bit-dodgy-innit]

The More The Merrier - Part One

Set in The Shape of Youniverse

Summary: Doctor Strange’s wedding gift allows you and your husband to fulfill your wildest fantasies 

Pairing: Marc x afab!reader, Steven x afab!reader and Jake x afab!reader, Reader is married to the system 

Word Count: 3.3k 

Rating: Mature (for now!)

CW/TW: Mentions of pregnancy, reader experiences anxiety and mild body insecurity, Marc is ~protective~ and not afraid to threaten violence to protect his fam, discussions of group sex, making out  

A/N: Okay y’all! Everyone loved Group Effort so I thought there was no better way to celebrate 1000 followers than to write a follow up! I am currently burnt to a crisp creatively, HOWEVER I figure if I post what I have so far this lovely community’s support and reactions may just invigorate me to get the rest of this naughtiness out! 

Translations at the end of the fic as usual!

You thought you were dreaming. You must have been, because why else would Doctor Strange be in your living room talking to your husband? The sound of voices had awoken you, and when you saw that Marc’s side of the bed was empty, you followed the hushed but heated voices to their source. 

You could hear Marc insisting lowly, “I told you I can’t…”

“And I told you his new avatar is miss–”

“Honey?” You interrupted, your voice raspy from sleep, “What’s going on?”

You’d rubbed just enough sleep from your eyes to be able to take in the sight before you. Marc, in his pajamas, mid-argument with Doctor Strange, red cape and all. 

You blinked furiously. Up until that very moment, all of Marc’s stories about being the white knight dude–Moon Knight, he told you he’d been called, were just that. Stories. You liked it that way. That way, there was plausible deniability. Seeing him talking to an Avenger in your flat made things startlingly real. 

“Go back to bed sweetheart,” your husband urged you, trying and failing to keep his mounting frustration from bleeding into his tone. 

Like hell you were going back to sleep. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Marc answered immediately. His pointed look to the Avenger meant that Strange wasn’t going to divulge anything either. 

“Sorry to wake you, Mrs. Spector,” the sorcerer offered instead. 

“I’m not going anywhere until one of you tells me why he’s here in the middle of the night,” you informed both men plainly. It was perplexing to think that the men in charge of your planet’s safety, like Doctor Strange and your husband, were such shit liars.

“It’s Khonshu--” Strange began. 

“He’s retired,” you interjected. Your husband resuming his superhero activities, especially when you’d just found out you were pregnant a few weeks ago, was your worst nightmare. 

“I know,” he assured you, “I had a question for Marc, that’s all.” 

“And I told him that I can’t be involved with any of this shit, in any capacity,” your husband fumed, “Twice now.” 

“Well excuse me,” the sorcerer snarked, “and here I thought you’d become a consultant.” 

You couldn't stifle the giggle that Strange’s comment brought forth. Marc bristled, “Please sweetie, will you wait for me in the bedroom? I’ll show Stephen out.” 

Hearing that your husband was on a first-name basis with an Avenger made your head swim. You nodded, but didn’t completely comply, going only so far as the hallway so you could eavesdrop on them unseen.

“Did I just get you into trouble?” Strange inquired. 

“Yes,” your husband confirmed. “Out of everything wrong with me, her only hang-ups are my ex-wife and the avatar shit, so summon one of those portal things before I have to kick you out myself.” 

“Wow, okay, so Steven’s the one with the manners then,” he noted wryly. 

Marc sighed so deeply you could hear it from across the flat. “How many times do I have to say–”

“Congratulations by the way.” 

Your heart dropped. Did he know? He couldn’t know. You were nowhere near showing, how on earth could he know? Doctor Strange flew and did magic and traversed the multiverse, but there was no way he could tell that you were pregnant, was there?

“I’ll tear you limb from limb and rent your stupid cloak out for birthday parties,” Marc threatened in a snarl, “I didn’t want anyone knowing that we're together, let alone that we’re expecting. If that information leaves your lips, so help me–”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Strange promised him, “though it explains why I can’t convince you.” 

“Use that forgetting spell on yourself,” your husband ordered. 

“I’ll do you one better,” the sorcerer offered, “I’ll put you two under the protection of the London Sanctum. It’ll keep her safe while we sort all of this out…though it’d go a lot quicker if you–”

“Want me to re-introduce you to Jake?” Marc growled. 

Now it was Strange’s turn to sigh. “You realize you don’t have the suit anymore, right?”

“Nunca lo necesité,” the man in question interceded, “Disfrutaría el desafío.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” the Avenger observed. 

“She’s the reason I left Khonshu,” Marc confessed. After observing him so tight-lipped and protective about your relationship to Strange just now, your husband’s candor shocked you. 

“I’d say you traded up,” the sorcerer remarked archly. 

 Marc stood firm. “Yeah, and I’m not looking to downgrade anytime soon.”

“Can’t blame you. Well Marc, it’s always a…time.”

The faint hum of what you assumed was the magic he conjured for the portals Strange used alerted you to scamper back to the bed and dive under the covers, so that when Marc returned you could convincingly feign sleep. Moments later, you felt the mattress dip under his weight and his arms wrap around your waist from behind. 

“Are you mad at me?” came his timid question, murmured into your hair.  

You didn’t open your eyes. “That you told Doctor Strange to fuck off for the sake of our marriage? For our family? No, hun.” 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized anyway, “I hate how that this part of my past won’t let me go.” 

“This wasn’t your fault and you didn't get involved,” you pointed out, implicitly urging him to let it go. “Can we go back to sleep? Need to rest up for my inevitable morning vomit sesh.” 

Marc held your tighter and pressed a kiss to a notch of your spine. “‘Course baby.”

You weren’t exactly proud of how quick you were to brush the encounter off, but being a newlywed and a surprise pregnancy meant you had enough on your plate. There wasn’t any mental or emotional space to entertain the thought of your ex-avatar husband having to risk his life to ensure your, your unborn baby, and Earth’s safety, because if you did, the Hulk would look like a teddy bear in comparison to the state it’d send you in.  

Luckily, Marc was even better at sweeping uncomfortable moments under the rug than you were. You didn’t give the late-night meeting with Doctor Strange a second thought until a few weeks later when you glimpsed a headline about another global calamity averted emblazoned across a fellow Tube passenger’s copy of The Guardian. Your first trimester made you incredibly motion sick, so you had to look away and deep breathe at once, since the last thing anyone wanted on their morning commute was a woman spewing all over the car. 

Work served as the perfect distraction, until you received a particularly cryptic and distressing text from your husband mid-afternoon.

From: Hubby 

Can you come home please? 

From me:

Now? Are you alright?!

From Hubby: 

Yes, I’m fine. Just need you to come home right away. 

You huffed. That answered absolutely nothing and only made you more anxious. The periods at the ends of his sentences were a dead giveaway as to which alter you were texting with, so you pressed: 

From me:

What’s wrong Marc? 

From Hubby:

Everything’s fine, I promise. 

From me: 

Are you sick? 

The three dots appeared that he was typing, but you’d already sprung from your desk chair at that point. You hurried over to a superior’s office to let them know you were leaving early, claiming a spousal emergency, and you didn’t even wait for a proper response from your boss before you returned to your office, collected your things, and dashed for the door. 

From me: 

Just told Graham I’m heading home. I’ll be there soon!! Do I need to call 999? Harry? Dr. Moorhead???? 

Marc never asked for help. He'd rather eat all ten toes. It was a point of contention in your relationship, something you were working through, so the fact he’d texted you in the middle of the afternoon asking you to come home freaked you the fuck out. You’d just gotten into a taxi - it’d be faster than the Tube this time of day - when he finally responded. 

From Hubby:

No. See you soon. 

You slammed your fist, still wrapped around the rectangle of your phone, down against the upholstered seat in the cab. If Marc was alive when you got home, you were going to kill him. 

After one of the most fraught cab rides of your life, you breathlessly burst through the door of your flat. “MARC?! Jake?! Steven?! You okay?” 

Your husband sat on the couch, appearing to be perfectly well. “Hi baby.” 

You rushed to him, instantly putting the back of your hand to his forehead to check his temperature. “What’s wrong? God, would it kill you to tell me what’s going on? I nearly gave myself an ulcer on the way here.” 

Marc caught your hand and brought your palm to his lips, murmuring “I’m sorry” into the skin there.

“Is someone going to tell me what the fuck is happening here?” you demanded. 

“It’s okay, everything’s okay baby,” he tried to soothe you. 

“Then why did you send me those vague bloody texts telling me to come home ASAP?” 

A sound from the bedroom momentarily distracted you before Marc captured your other hand in his grasp and gently tugged you to take a seat next to him. He continued to apologize, “I’m sorry, so sorry baby. We didn’t know how else to do it, plus we wanted it to be a surprise.”

You regarded him warily. “For what to be a surprise?” 

“Remember when Stephen – well, Doctor Strange came here?” 

“Of course I do.” 

“Well, he um…he knew you were pregnant–I didn’t tell him, he just…I don’t know he mystically sensed it or something–and he felt bad about implicating you in our business. I ended up helping him–nothing really, just told him some stuff he wanted to know about my time as Khonshu’s avatar, and he wanted to thank me–well us, I guess? He said to consider it a belated wedding or early–”

“Ay…I think I’ve missed a birthday with how long you’re taking!” 

This was it. Forget your husband’s mental health struggles, you’d officially had a psychotic break. Because Jake had interrupted your conversation by walking into the room. In a separate body. 

“Fucking hell!! You couldn’t wait thirty more seconds?!” Marc snapped at him. 

Thank goodness you were already sitting down. The room swam. Your husband – wait, husbands?-- kept bickering with each other while you stared at them, glassy-eyed and slack-jawed. 

“No voy a perder otro segundo teniendo que escucharte un parloteo. No tenemos todo el día aquí.”

“What the fuck is going on?” you asked yourself in an awestruck whisper. 

“Honey?” Marc turned to you, “you’re okay.”

“Todo esta bien,” Jake added, rushing to your other side. 

You were grateful that there were two of them, otherwise you would’ve collapsed. The thought made you laugh. Wow, you’d lost your mind with a stunning efficiency it seemed. 

“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Marc’s eyes searched yours, desperate for you to focus. 

“Uh huh.” 

“What este pendejo was trying to say,” Jake interjected, “is that el doctor did a spell where we all get our own body for twenty-four hours.” 

“He can do that?” It was a stupid question, given that you were surrounded by two of your husbands, but your brain was all but fried. 

“See! This is why I wanted to do it like this! We needed to ease her in!!” Marc lamented. 

“Where’s Steven?” you asked. He had to be here somewhere too, right? 

“You can come out now!” Marc hollered toward the kitchen, and lo and behold, the last third of your husband shuffled into view, complete with his individual body as well.  

“Why am I always the only one who follows the plan?” Steven complained, then after taking one look at your ashen face, joined his counterparts tending to you. “Oh darling, are you alright? Sorry, I know this all must come as a terrible shock. You want me to put the kettle on? Make you a cuppa?”

“The only thing that could help me right now is a stiff drink, which I obviously can’t have because of…” you trailed off and gestured to your midsection. 

“Right, sorry. Marc and I wanted to do this differently, but leave it to Jake to muck things up, as per usual,” he groused. 

“Oye, vete a la mierda pequeño–”

Marc tried to stop them. “Shut up, both of you, this isn’t hel–”

“Oh my God is this what the inside of your head is like?” you wondered aloud, unable to squash a delirious chuckle. 

“Yes,” Steven confirmed, trying to maintain composure, “a small sampling of it, I’m afraid.” 

Your chuckling escalated to full-on unhinged laughter. What else were you to do when each of your husbands were given their own body and argued in front of you?

“Am I high? Or at the very least awake?” 

“No and yes,” Marc replied. 

“So this is why I had to come home early,” you surmised. 

“Sí, we only have twenty-four hours, and we weren’t going to waste anymore on waiting when we could–”

“We could what?” 

“Well, with the baby coming, naturally our sex life is going to take a hit,” Marc said, “so, this seemed like a perfect, one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to um…fulfill some fantasies.”

“You faked an emergency and made me ditch work so we could all have group sex?” 

Steven groaned, “It sounds so tawdry when you put it like that.” 

Marc buried his head in his hands, but Jake puffed up his chest. “Por qué no? Vas a trabajar cada día, ¡pero tal vez nunca volvamos a estar así!”

“No one is touching me…” you protested, heaving a labored breath as overwhelmed tears brimmed in your eyes. “No one is touching me until you all apologize! Properly! You scared the shit out of me just now! You can’t…you can't keep me in the dark like that…I can’t take the stress between your past and the baby and work…it’s too much! So guess what? The last thing I want to do right now is have sex!” 

Three flummoxed faces of concern stared back at you as they each realized they’d severely miscalculated the reveal. Apparently you looked so pathetic it dispelled any of their urges to argue about it, the reminder that you were pregnant seemingly enough to shut them up and send them straight to contrition. Plus, they were probably still hopeful they could get some action later if they apologized right away. 

“I’m sorry baby,” Marc began, pulling you to his chest, “We wanted this to be fun, but…”

“Somos estúpidos,” Jake finished for him, “Even with separate bodies, we all think with the head between our legs.”   

Steven spoke next, “Take all the time you need, my love. We don’t even have to…do anything naughty. We just want to be with you like…as…as us.” 

“Uh, no. We have to fuck,” Jake disagreed. 

Before you could snipe back at Jake, you remembered something Marc had told you about the last time they were separated. Their entire journey through the Duat, Jake had been trapped in a sarcophagus. Despite being married to them, you couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like to share your body, your life, with two other people the way they did. 

So of course having a body of your own, especially if there was a clock on it, would be a momentous occasion, and it warmed your heart in a funny, roundabout way that Jake wanted to share this precious time with you as intimately as possible. 

Therefore, you found yourself cackling at his remark. The three of them watched you dumbstruck. 

“I think we broke her,” Marc muttered under his breath. 

When you finally regained your breath and a modicum of your senses back, you proposed, “How about this…we make an early dinner to fuel up for um…the night ahead, shall we say? It’ll give me some time to adjust. Deal?”

It took about an hour, but you did calibrate to having multiple husbands in your flat. Jake and Marc were parked on the couch flipping between games on the telly and arguing over scores, players, and stats while Steven and you camped in the kitchen. 

Steven had volunteered to make dinner, and you instantly offered to assist him, figuring that keeping your hands busy would help quiet your racing mind. The pair of you chopped vegetables and, in everyone but Steven’s case, chicken, to make a soup that would be hearty enough to sustain any physical exertion later but light enough so as not to hinder it. 

“This is bizarre, innit?” Steven asked while he stirred the broth. 

“Bizarre doesn't even begin to cover it,” you confessed. “I mean, I know crazy superhero magic shit like this happens, but never to me.”

“When Marc first told me he served Khonshu, I thought it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard.” 

You laughed at Steven’s frankness. “I love you.” 

“Love you too,” he echoed, his face splitting into a beatific grin. The two of you leaned across the stove to kiss each other. Neither of you hurried to break it. In fact, Steven slipped his tongue between the seam of your lips, while you turned to wrap your arms around him properly. 

You nearly forgot the other two men were there until you were both startled apart by Jake whistling and crowing, “Ey! Save it for later!” 

“Entonces vas a ayudarnos con la comida?” you shot back at him without any real heat.  

Several moments transpired while you ate in which you lapsed into an astonished silence. Though you were no stranger to your husband being co-conscious, there was something even more wondrous about all three of them having to interrupt each other to speak, though despite their separate bodies, each man tended to talk over the other still. 

Marc and Jake were put on cleanup duty, and Steven captured you in his arms once again. He dotted kisses from your clavicle, up the length of your neck, culminating at the extra sensitive spot behind your right ear. “How do you want to do this?” 

You mewled at the pressure of his lips on your skin. “Mmmm, I wanna take a shower and primp a bit. Marc had a point earlier, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, might as well make the most of it, right?” 

“Whatever you want,” he rumbled into your ear. You could feel Steven’s cock stir as he pressed himself into you. 

A devilish smirk danced across your lips. “Wanna look extra fuckable for all of you.” 

“Bloody hell, babe,” Steven’s hips stuttered against your leg. He leaned in to kiss you more, but you dodged him, instead scampering away toward the bathroom and throwing a cheeky look over your shoulder. 

Beyond the fact that you knew that Jake would want to fuck you in the ass and you needed to prepare accordingly, it occurred to you that your insistence on getting dolled up was just as much for your benefit as it was for your partners. You were about to be more vulnerable than you’d ever been in a sexual situation, and though it was with the people you loved and trusted most in the world, sometimes confidence was best found from the outside-in. So you shaved your legs, styled your hair, made up your face, and slipped into the lingerie that you’d grabbed from your dresser before you retreated into the en-suite. 

You examined the finished product of your efforts in the mirror. Your bump wasn’t quite a bump yet at just over twelve weeks, you just looked perennially bloated. You tried to smooth the frown from your face, reminding yourself that you weren’t fat, but instead growing a little life inside of you, the culmination of you and your husband’s love. Nevertheless, you adjusted the straps of the microscopic thong you’d squeezed yourself into to try and create a more flattering shape. After fluffing your hair one more time, you decided you were as ready as you’d ever be.

READ PART TWO 

A/N: Eh? We like? Y’all are always so encouraging but if you feel compelled to leave any feedback I could really use it this time around!!! 

Translations:

Nunca lo necesité - I never needed it

Disfrutaría el desafío - I will enjoy the challenge

No voy a perder otro segundo teniendo que escucharte un parloteo. No tenemos todo el día aquí - I'm not going to waste another second having to listen to you babble. We don't have all day here

Todo esta bien - Everything is ok

Este pendejo - This asshole

Oye, vete a la mierda pequeño - Hey, look here you little shit

Por qué no? Vas a trabajar cada día, ¡pero tal vez nunca volvamos a estar así! - Why not? You go to work every day, but we may never be like this again!

Somos estupidos - We’re stupid

Entonces vas a ayudarnos con la comida - Then are you going to help us with the food?

Taglist:

@twwcs​, @rmoonstoner​, @hot-mess-express1​, @murdickdocked, @toracainz​, @saahmi, @unspokenmoon​, @winterbiipp​, @avatarofseshat​ @ilikeoldermenhelp, @losers-club6​, @harrys-tittie​, @ninebluehearts​, @lucianadraven32​, @dawnsutopia​, @strawberry1042-blog @nikitawolfxo​, @weirdo125 @damnzelsoul​ @missmarmaladeth​ @welcometostayingawake​ @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction​, @thatgirlshady​

[waywardmillennial]

in today’s episode of “What Are You Angry About?” this quote from an interview Steven gave in Feb 2020 that BF originally wasn’t going to let him host Worth It:

According to Lim, Buzzfeed's original plan was to feature two white hosts while Lim wrote the show's scripts. (x)(x)

further proof that the BF company can perish now, thanks

[lichniche]

Necromancer Tournament

i got sick so im extending the submission period! the 15th is the new deadline!

to reiterate, here are the rules:

im not gonna define necromancy, if youre not sure if somebody qualifies submit em anyway and i will either decide or if im unfamiliar or unsure too we will hold a prelim poll

submit as many people as you want but only submit each person once

real people allowed lmao ?? but i hold veto power

no ocs (sorry)

submit to the ask box! one per ask preferable!

PLEASE INCLUDE THE NAME OF THE MEDIA THEY ARE FROM

all polls will be tagged #necromancy tournament and #tournament poll and all non-poll but still tournament relevant stuff will be tagged #tournament stuff

all polls will run for one week

NOW

here are the current submissions!

anyone in orange has been submitted by multiple people

anyone not in the no category or the maybe category is guaranteed a spot unless someone raises an objection, the orange highlighting is just informative

if you are familiar with the source material and want to dispute any of these please do. if you have an opinion on anyone in the maybe column and whether they deserve to be included please share

Magic the Gathering:

Liliana Vess

Gisa Cecani

Lim-Dûl

Ratadrabik

Elder Scrolls:

Vastarie (Elder Scrolls Online)

Mannimarco (Elder Scrolls Online)

The Untamed / MDZS

Wei Wuxian

Xue Yang

The Bible:

Jesus Christ

The Witch of Endor

Dungeons & Dragons

Acererak

Azalin Rex

Vecna

World of Warcraft:

Arthas Menethil

Kel'Thuzad

The Adventure Zone

Barry Bluejeans

Lup

Abhorsen

Chlorr of the Mask

Sabriel

Guild Wars

Zhaitan

Trahearne

Palawa Joko

Marjory Delaqua

Skulduggery PLeasant

Solomon Wreath

Lord Vile

Misc:

Henry (Fire Emblem Awakening

Ned (Pushing Daisies)

Aesop Carl (Identity V)

Xykon (The Order of the Stick)

Rasputin (real life/Don Bluth Cartoon)

Edward and Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age)

Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson)

Suzie Costello (Torchwood)

Herbert West (Reanimator)

Lewis Bernavelt (The House With A Clock In Its Walls)

Neferpitou (Hunter x Hunter)

Roger de Camden (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Joshua (The World Ends with You)

Pisces Jealnet (The Wandering Inn webnovel)

Malistaire Drake (Wizard101)

Mary (Trash of the Count's Family)

Delilah Briarwood (Critical Role)

Shang Tsung (Mortal Kombat)

Kotaro Tatsumi (Zombieland Saga)

Licorice Cookie (Cookie Run)

Wasp (Archivist Wasp)

Soren Baltimore (Camp Here & There podcast)

Wendell and Wild (Wendell & Wild)

Orochimaru (Naruto)

Amors (Death and the Maiden webcomic)

The Lich (Adventure Time)

Zanbar Bone (Fighting Fantasy)

Snap & Jacks (Snapdragon graphic novel by Kat Leyh)

Santa Claus (Puppet History ? real life ? its unclear)

Watcher (DeadEndia) (comics)

Ty Blackthorn (Shadowhunters)

Dr Hix (Discworld)

Maybe:

Steven Universe

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

Maya Fey (Ace Attorney)

Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

Sauron (Lord of the Rings)

Takuto Maruki (Persona 5 Royal)

Claudia (The Dragon Prince)

Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)

Norman (Paranorman)

The Marionette (fnaf)

Merrin Meredith (Septimus Heap)

Uni (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)

Bermuda von Veckenschtein (Katekyo Hitman Reborn)

No:

The Doctor (Doctor Who)

The Master (Doctor Who)

Harry Dresden (The Dresden Files) (decided by vote)

The Locked Tomb:

Harrowhark Nonagesimus

Palamedes Sextus

Coronabeth Tridentarius*****

Ianthe Tridentarius

John Gaius

if you are familiar with the source material and want to dispute any of these please do. if you have an opinion on anyone in the maybe column and whether they deserve to be included please share

here are my personal submissions (with duplicates included- if a submission is orange it was submitted by multiple of YOU, i did not take my own list into account)

Johannes Cabal (Johannes Cabal: The Necromancer)

Grimora, Scrybe of the Dead (Inscryption)

Militsa Gnosis (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Lord Vile (Skulduggery Pleasant)

Samhain Corvus LaCroix (Hold Me Closer, Necromancer)

Dorian Pavus (Dragon Age)

Henry (Fire Emblem Awakening)

The Necromancer (West of Loathing)

Novice Necromancer (Skyrim)

Xenia of the Autumn (Lovestruck: Reigning Passions)

Sabriel (Abhorson)

[shaniacsboogara]

shout-out to some of my favourite posts on this website:

hey steven is so johnlock (courtesy of @bergoozter )

'fuck around it's friday' steven lim (by @fearthefuzzybear )

ryan bergara kills boots the monkey 2023 (ft. @outer-space-face )

steven lim king of the birds

'he doesn't even have his bridge'

any whore the skeleton post by @trashworldblog

the watcher gaming doodle by @watcherwatts

the 'we did it joe' shanesweep poll (by watcher but no way am i tagging them you sillies)

every ph death puppet x god puppet post

ALL OF THE FANART (but special shout-out to royal au ryan and shane and the professor in his funky little dresses)

[big-bishop]

deadpool, agent of chaos,'s 2023 birthday week celebration ;

> day four (feb. 16, happy birthday!!!), masters of emotion (not), clemente mazzarino, keith lim and curtis white dynamics

you think I care??? (yeah actually I do and I'll probably cry about it if we're being honest.)

(luca marinelli (x) (x) + steven yeun (x) (x) (x) + boyd holbrook (x) (x) (x))

[viridian-artist]

Hey there!! I'm finally taking time to write a pinned post for this blog!!

WHO AM I?

I am Verna! A 20 year old multifandom/oc centric fan artist that loves immersing themself in their interests no matter how cringe it may seem.

WHAT DO I USE TO DRAW?

I use ibisPaint X for digital art on my Android phone and (currently) Grumbacher Mixed Media Pad sketchbooks, kingart inkline pens, Crayola waterbased markers and colored pencils, and whatever else I can glue or stick in for my sketchbooks. Don't be afraid to ask for specifics if you're curious!!

WHAT FANDOMS AM I IN?

I'm in several to be fair, but the "main" ones in the moment are::

▪︎ Hermitcraft

▪︎ The Amazing Digital Circus

▪︎ Pokémon (Sun and Moon + Sword and Shield)

▪︎ Overwatch

WHO ARE YOUR F/Os?

My current F/Os (fictional others) are, in order of main, secondary, and tertiary partners ::

(EDIT - now with selfship/yume intro card)

(EDIT II - now with partner key)

Main - 💞

Secondary - ❤️

Tertiary - 💌

SELFSHIP/YUME INTRO CARD //

▪︎ c!Rendog (Hermitcraft s9/s10) [💞]

TAG - #bogeybeast🖤🐶

#noblebloom🗡🌷 (fantasy au/smp)

#crystalshriek💎🦇 (vigilante sheriff au)

#piratesbow🎀🏴‍☠️ (rats smp)

BOGEYBEAST STRAWPAGE //

BOGEYBEAST INTRO //

I AM NOT OKAY WITH SHARING HIM. PLEASE ASK BEFORE FOLLOWING AND TAG SHIP RELATED CONTENT.

▪︎ Caine (Digital Circus) [💞]

TAG - #cyberteeth🌐🦷

I AM NOT OKAY WITH SHARING HIM WITH THE EXCEPTION OF CLOSE FRIENDS. PLEASE ASK BEFORE FOLLOWING AND TAG SHIP RELATED CONTENT.

▪︎ Guzma (Pokémon Sun and Moon) [❤️]

TAG - #firefly🔥🪲

FIREFLYSHIPPING STRAWPAGE //

I am fine with sharing, as long as it is tagged!!

▪︎ Lucifer Morningstar (Hazbin Hotel) [💌]

TAG - #applebunny🍎🐇

I am sort of okay with sharing? I do ask you to tag anything ship related involving him. If you wish to talk about him with me, please ask first.

▪︎ Blue Zircon (Steven Universe) [❤️]

TAG - #bubblegumwives🔷️🎀

I am fine with sharing, as long as it is tagged!!

Miscellaneous F/Os

(Various F/Os that I also selfship with, but don't have a self insert or story for yet, or may be considering!)

▪︎ Fat Gum (My Hero Academia)

▪︎ cScar (Hermitcraft) < considering

Don't be afraid to ask questions about my experiences with selfshipping or my relationships with my F/Os!!

WHAT ARE MY PRONOUNS?

I use they/xe/she/cyber/lim pronouns!

Full sets for cyber and lim pronouns::

cyber/cybers/cyberself

lim/lims/liminal OR liminalself

ARE MY COMMISSIONS OPEN?

Yes!! They are always open unless told otherwise and can be found HERE.

DO YOU HAVE A STRAWPAGE?

Yup!! It's HERE.

[bookclub4m]

Episode 176 - Fantasy

This episode we’re talking about the genre of Fantasy! We discuss whether fantasy needs magic, clam powers, forklore, Tears of the Kingdom, worksonas, It’s Always My First Day at Wizard School, and more!

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray | Jam Edwards

Things We Read (or tried to…)

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse

Sing, Nightingale by Marie Hélène Poitras, translated by Rhonda Mullins

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark

The Haunting of Tram Car 015 by P. Djèlí Clark

Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune, narrated by Kirt Graves

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore

Babel: An Arcane History by R.F. Kuang

The Chill by Scott Carson

Nothing but Blackened Teeth by Cassandra Khaw

Big Machine by Victor LaValle

Other Media We Mentioned

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey (Wikipedia)

Elfquest by Wendy and Richard Pini (Wikipedia)

Read it online free!

Steven Universe (Wikipedia)

Sailor Moon (Wikipedia)

Squire by Sara Alfageeh and Nadia Shammas

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

The Golden Compass / Northern Lights by Philip Pullman

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Redwall (Wikipedia) Brian Jacques

The Discworld Mapp: Being the Onlie True and Mostlie Accurate Mappe of the Fantastyk and Magical Dyscworlde by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs

Discworld (Wikipedia)

The Chronicles of Narnia (Wikipedia) by C.S. Lewis

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce

Wise Child by Monica Furlong

Juniper by Monica Furlong

The Sandman (comic book) (Wikipedia)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Wikipedia)

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Wikipedia)

Yakuza 0 (Wikipedia)

A Song of Ice and Fire (Wikipedia) by George R. R. Martin

The series of novels on which the television series Game of Thrones is based

The Wheel of Time (Wikipedia) by Robert Jordan

The Black God's Drums by P. Djèlí Clark

Leaving Mundania: Inside the Transformative World of Live Action Role-Playing Games by Lizzie Stark

Links, Articles, and Things

X-Men (Wikipedia)

Scarlet Witch

Magik (Illyana Rasputina) (though her magic powers are separate from her mutation)

Magical girl (Wikipedia)

Alebrije (Wikipedia)

Dungeons & Dragons (Wikipedia)

Independence Day (1996 film) (Wikipedia)

30 Fantasy fiction by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

Road of the Lost by Nafiza Azad

A Broken Blade by Melissa Blair

A Thousand Steps into Night by Traci Chee

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi

The Unbroken by C.L. Clark

The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

VenCo by Cherie Dimaline

The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai 

We Hunt the Flame by Hafsah Faizal

Blood Scion by Deborah Falaye

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez

The Lost Dreamer by Lizz Huerta

Black Leopard, Red Wolf by Marlon James

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

The Björkan Sagas by Harold R. Johnson

Untethered Sky by Fonda Lee

Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim

A Magic Steeped in Poison by Judy I. Lin

The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu

The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna

The Return of the Sorceress by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Famished Road by Ben Okri

Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi

The Monsters We Defy by Leslye Penelope

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse

The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

The Rage of Dragons by Evan Winter

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Twitter or Instagram, join our Facebook Group, or send us an email!

Join us again on Tuesday, June 20th we’re talking about celebrity book clubs and one book reading campaigns!

Then on Tuesday, July 4th we’ll be discussing non-fiction books about UFOs and Aliens!

[thefallenangelsgang]

hey friend, i’m trying to compile and comprehend everything that’s going on with watcher right now but you’re the first person i’ve seen (haven’t been online last 24h) mentioning steven lims post being controversial & was wondering if you had a screenshot / know where i can find one? thanks so much in advance x

Already answered your question!

[just-some-random-blogger]

The Other Guy

Chris Evans x Actress!Reader Summary: Since you're so adamant on the fact that you're not dating Chris Evans, it's the media's pastime to link you with whoever you even breathe in the direction of. The loyalists of your ship is not having it though. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: Reader x other dudes 👀 , fluff, crackfic, UH angst?, pining, ALSO TYPOS, still used YN h'iehfhes'f, fake movies titles, misogyny, CRACKFIC OKAY, also Typos, etc.

A/N: So i made a mood boaRDDDD!!!! if any of it doesnt match up with you just ignore it ok i love you you are beautiful the way you are but also we can all improve !!! idk why im doing another chris evans fic anyway. this is sorta part 3 to this technical p1 then this technical p2 but not really it stands alone as do the other fics. again its not a series its more of my stress reliver that causes me stress ???? yeah i also made a part 4 ALSO IM SO SUPER HYPED FOR SHANG CHI IM SO GAAHHHH Also a lot of yall liked my fic so im tagging everyone that reacted to White Bread just in case ya know HEYA (i know bold of me to assume): @time-for-a-lullaby @christmaswonderworld @readsreblogsfics @marianastudiesart @r2gers @undergroundstyle @notbrooklynsblog @marc-rogers @lam0ureuxq @mickymouselol1 @kimmyevansblog @captainwans

It all started when my friend Gina was recording herself for a video at first, but instead caught me saying:

"I don't know about you, but Simu Liu is a dream cake- I mean dream boat-"

...while on my couch in a grey sweater, belly down, while on my nth video of him. I was on my personal favorite video, where his bestie Steven Lim, made him a bobba drink.

Don't you just get heart eyes when you see him?

Haha, well, Gina posted that on her Instagram, and, well, being a successful model, it apparently was enough to cause a stir on the internet. 🙄

TIKTOK

Video 1: Said video of Y/N in grey sweater, belly-down on couch, simping over Simu Liu, taken originally from @absolutelygina's instagram

Comments:

user892047902: WHO'S GONNA TELL HER THATS WRONG MARVEL ACTOR | 2.5k likes eggs352: wow, she pronounced Chris Evans really weirdly | 5k likes QuackButt90: this isn't how it was supposed to be | 200 likes 600qoolhwip: LMAO Yall do realize Chris and Y/N aren't dating right? 😂😂 | 1.3 likes BridgetJones: Chris Evans been real quiet lately | 9k likes DATazz: FR THO THIS AINT RIGHT | 635 likes quintessentiallyno: SAME THO SAME | 320 likes

Video 2: an edit of Y/N and Steve Rogers that's all fluffy but gets intercepted by Shang Chi, a popular tiktok sound is used

Comments:

[pinned comment] creator ● buckysplumprincess: GUYS I HAD NO IDEA THIS WOULD GO VIRAL! DONT TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY. I SRSLY LOVE CHRIS AND Y/N TOGETHER AND I WORKED HARD FOR THIS EDIT STOP TELLING ME TO DELETE IT | 13k likes noahbark: I aint never seen a bunch of fangirls so mad about a celeb NOT dating someone. | 64k likes OnUrLeftFalcon: FAM TOO REAL. THIS AINT IT | 1.8 likes GordonRamzAYE: [liked by creator] Dr. Strange better get me into the right reality real soon or we about to have some problems | 3k likes chrisevansb00bie: haha nice edit *reports* | 10k likes y/nsarm: mood | 204 likes evansy/l/n: SAME | 59 likes user20435092: NGL THEY CUTE TOGETHER BUT MY EVANS-Y/L/N HEART JUST CANNOT | 240 likes

TWITTER-VERSE

@captainmurrrrrica: guys- you don't get it- im starting to think simu liu has more chances with y/f/n than chris IM-- @thiquesebz: [replying to @captainmurrrrrica] can you blame her though, simu does look like a dream cake 🥵 @captianmurrrrrica: [replying to @thiquesebz] WHAT HAPPENED TO THE END OF THE LINE? @chrisevansdailykrr: *image of 'i pretend i do not see' attached* @sugarlover: [replying to @chrisevansdailykrr] if it aint confirmed it aint real dont @ me @QQeverything: [replying to @chrisevansdailykrr] we love denial @ily3OOO: @SimuLiu STOP RUINING MY SHIP @SimuLiu: [replying to ily3OOO] 😅

A 20+ minute video on YT titled: Y/F/N being done with dating rumors

It's a panel interview. I'm sitting next to the director and my co-star, who happened to be Henry Cavill in this particular film.

An interviewer asks me, "you have been paired with a lot of brilliant men. How do you manage not to fall for them?"

It becomes twice more a throwaway question when it's continued with, "first Captain America, now Superman, how can you control yourself?"

What a day for journalism.

I immediately raise my brows, "control myself? I mean, beside the fact that you somehow believe humans aren't smart exhibit any form of control over themselves, there is such a thing as not being interested. Don't get me wrong, Henry's great--"

I roll my eyes and add, "and before you ask me, Chris Evans is great too, but I don't feel the need to actively control myself around them any more than I feel the need with any other man in this room. An believe me, I can imagine why people are so excited to see them because I've seen them first hand."

I motion to Henry beside me, "I'm sure it's a compliment to him that you, sir, think so highly of this" I turn to the man I was talking about and slap his toned bicep, "brilliant man, but for the record, if in asking this question you're are projecting your own lack of self-control, I feel like you might need some help with that."

Henry turns to his lap and breaks into a laugh.

--CUT TO--

I'm sitting on a stool reading a cue card, "You did a charity game with NBA player Rudy Gobert and you both seemed to have enjoyed yourselves in the footage. Have you two gotten any closer after that?"

I throw the card behind me, "it was a really fun game. I enjoyed feeling like a helpless child next to someone that tall. We did get lunch after the shoot for the content we did, but other than that we haven't talked much."

The staff asks, "so you didn't have a date recently?"

I contort in to a confused face. There is a harsh closeup, "I'm dating Chris Evans, remember?"

--CUT TO--

It was a quick fire round of questions, and I was specifically told to answer one over the other.

"Chris Evans or Henry Cavill."

I roll my eyes, "hnnng, can't I just chuck both of them into the ocean?" I break into a laugh, "I can already imagine the angry women on the other side of the screen."

--CUT TO--

A sad pepe the frog pic.

--CUT BACK TO THE REST OF THE VIDEO--

I place a hand on my face and give it serious thought, about as serious as I get.

I sigh, "like I hate both of them so much it just hurts." I release a chuckle, "okay, okay, in all seriousness, I feel like you win whichever you choose because their both really great guys."

--CUT TO--

The crying man meme video.

--CUT BACK TO THE REST OF THE VIDEO--

I cross my arms, "when it comes down to it though, Chris did eat my toast so I'm going with Henry."

--CUT TO--

A picture of Henry Cavill edited with meme shades on and Chris Evans edited with tears. It's captioned with: 'she really isn't letting this go'. The background sound is the bad flute version of My Heart Will Go On.

--CUT TO--

I'm in a radio station. I point at the host after having had a long talk that seemed to be steering in the direction of my dating life. Still recovering from our previous laugh, I say, "if you ask me if I'm dating Chris Evans, I'm leaving."

"Whyyyyy!!!!???"

"Because I'm so sick of it!"

"But you said in one interview that you were!"

"Yeah and I still get asked about it!"

"BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE SERIOUS."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT PEOPLE ARE DUMB!"

TWITTER-VERSE

@absolutelygina: Guess who got invite to Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings 😎 @wanduhvizun: [replying to @absolutelygina] MISS MAAM LEAVE Y/N AT HOME AND TAKE HER PHONE AWAY. I WILL NOT SEE MY SHIP SINK @cracklenpop: [replying to @absolutelygina] If she brings y/n it's all over for us. @udincthatcomin: [replying to @absolutelygina] @ChrisEvans SIR YOU HAVE A PREMIER TO ATTEND @darth_batman: [replying to @absolutelygina] she literally said nothing about y/n and the replies are all about her and evans 🤧 have we fallen so far. @SimuLiu: [replying to @absolutelygina] See you at the premiere! 😎 @everydayy/n: Imma need yall to stop spamming my feed with Simu Liu edits. It's making me unloyal to my Evans ship. @cevansbooti: [replying to @everydayy/n] ^^^ @theatrekidthingz: FACT: same people begging y/n to start socials would be the same people who cry cuz y/n be reportin all yallz tweets abt her n cevanz. @theatrekidthingz: [replying to @theatrekidthingz] I know this the same way i know queen will never let go of that stupid ass bread thing 🤢 @evansy/l/n: [replying to @theatrekidthingz] *image of 'i pretend i do not see' attached* @loveis4lozerz: [replying to @theatrekidthingz] hey man, send your location. I just want to talk. @theatrekidthingz: [replying to @loveis4lozerz] 🏃💨❗

And now: A Bunch Of Random Headlines (and some headlines with a few bits of the article)

Chris Evans brings up Y/F/N in a candid interview with Elle

It was literally brought up but its basically the same thing, right?

Evans-Y/L/N Spotted Grocery Shopping With Matching Black Masks

Literally everyone wears black masks, but hear us out...

Fans Are Not Happy With Simu Liu But Its Not What You Think

It involves Y/F/N and Chris Evans. If you're a fan of either of the two, you might know where this is going now...

Y/F/N Confirms Her Relationship With Chris Evans And I'm Starting To Believe

During the promotion of her new film, Y/F/N yet again confirmed her relationship with Chris Evans, albeit, with her famously sarcastic demeanor. Known as Evans-Y/L/N, they have garnered an army of fans, wishing fruition on a romantic relationship between the two.

The pair have long after the promotion showed evidence of a close relationship, and are often photographed holding hands. Even after multiple interviews of them during and after their time working with each other confirming their relationship, due to their equally sarcastic personalities, onlookers are left wondering if its actually true.

Perhaps now, the real question is, if the stunt was originally for publicity, why continue on with it after all this time?

Gina Faye on her viral video of bestie Y/F/N

... "I honestly think she enjoys the reaction to the video, just because she says she's so sick of having to talk about Chris Evans."...

Chris Evans attends 'Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings' solo, both disappointing and relieving Evans-Y/L/N supporters.

In a twist of events, it's Chris Evans cozying up with fellow Marvel actor, Simu Liu. The two shared a cute selfie making faces and scooching real close to each other. Confused? I'll explain...

Here's How Chris Evan's Post Of Green Slippers Broke The Internet

No but actually: here's the said post, particularly the video, captioned: RIP.

Video starts with a pan to the floor. The camera is switched from back cam to front cam. Chris purses his lips and sighs, "guys she refuses to make an instagram and yet wants me to post this for her."

Off cam, I bark, "I LITERALLY TOLD YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME CAUSE MY PHONE'S STILL CHARGING-"

Chris shakes his head and adjusts the stupid ass cap he's wearing, "no. You want me to post this, cause if you didn't you would wait."

"Your reasoning is re-" back cam is switched and pointed at me, "markably flawed and stupid."

"Aw, thanks. I love you too."

"Chris, I swear to g-"

"I WONT POST IT GEEZ!" Chris holds his phone up and gives a stupid smile, "now pose cutely for me."

I look past his phone and look him straight in the eye, "you know what, I'm not about to pose for some ugly slice of white bre--" *end video*

There is a separate post of green slippers on a carpet and of them being worn by its sassy owner.

TWITTER-VERSE

@chrisevansdailykrr: MY SHIP IS ALIVE AND THRIVING! @chrisevansdailykrr: Chris Evans for Elle Magazine. *image attached* @myshipisreal: A hero we never knew we needed *image attached* @steverogerswife: [replying to @myshipisreal] ALL HAIL GREEN SLIPPERS @swqgg: [replying to @myshipisreal] ALL HAIL PETTYNESS @y/narmpit: *image of green slippers and 'finally some good fucking news attatched*

@ChrisEvans: No hate but why Evans-Y/L/N, why not Y/L/N-Evans? @oeh3: [replying to @ChrisEvans] AND YALL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY THEY AREN'T TOGETHER WHEN THIS IS HIS 3AM THOUGHTS @steverogerswife: [replying to @ChrisEvans] MARRY HER THEN 😤 @shutdd: [replying to @ChrisEvans] PETTY KING @absolutelygina: [replying to @ChrisEvans] I was instructed to say: "I clearly wear the pants in the relationship." @ChrisEvans: [replying to @absolutelygina] fair @avengerzbus: [replying to @ChrisEvans] I'M SCREAMING

[falseroar]

Knowing Mark will eventually be doing a bunch of promoting In Space With Markiplier, including by being a guest on other channels like he did with AHWM (I’m sure some of that was arranged by YouTube, what with wanting to make their money back on funding a free YouTube Original), you know what I would love to see?

Mark over on The Watcher, like as a guest on Puppet History, or on Steven Lim’s Dish Granted series. Puppet History’s unlikely, just because there has to be a lot of production time built in and everything before they’re ready to go and the odds of that lining up well are slim, but I can dream, right?

Just imagine Mark trying to schmooze up to the Professor to win, or being baffled/vaguely creeped out by the puppets, or the potential for Mark and Ryan to get so, so, so far off topic while in a race to the bottom of the class.

Meanwhile, on Dish Granted I could see Mark trying to find a way to slip a “When I was a kid, we were too poor for [x]” joke in there somewhere, no matter how far he has to reach.

[littlekingbergara]

okay okay okay, so ya know that one post that's like: looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you & looks like they could kill you, is a cinnamon roll, looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll, looks like could kill you, would kill you. That one? Got me thinkin', watcher boys. Who do we think is each one? (this includes ricky & even selorm if you want) 'Cause I think I know who I'd put for each, but I wanna hear your thoughts 👀

ok ok yes i'm familiar... do u even know how hard it was to not just put them all in cinnamon roll x cinnamon roll?? none of them could hurt anyone if they tried and i think you can see it in all of their eyes. 😭

now let me EXPLAIN ok. shane and ryan? absolute goofballs. even when they're trying to be scary you can see how much fun they're having and then they're just cutie pies again. they'd never hurt anyone.

i believe selorm can do absolutely anything she sets her mind to and if that means killing a person... she could do it! and she would do a damn good job!!

ricky is hot + intimidating and he's so good at everything and then u see him smile/hear him laugh and you're like OH he's actually the sweetest sweetheart. got it.

i Don't think steven lim looks like he could kill you Necessarily but i don't think he looks like he Wouldn't kill you? but i think if pushed he could. but also maybe not? he's the wildest card. i do think if he Were to kill someone it would be for a good reason.

i'm interested in your thoughts!! 👀

[fandomlit]

associates, 1 (demon!shane madej x angel!reader)

series summary shane liked messing with people. when he left hell, he knew it was for exactly that reason. plus, that place was a drag. when he met ryan, he actually came to like the guy, but he couldn’t resist the opportunities he presented him with. and then you came along; an angel to stop a freelance demon from his fun and protect one blessed with their “eyes”. but shane has no boundaries, and maybe yours start to fall as well.

chapter summary of course, you and shane aren’t the only supernatural in buzzfeed. but it does seem that you two harbor the most animosity..

first look | prologue | chap. 1

gif cred belongs to @ghouligxns​

you weren’t the only angel stationed at buzzfeed, and shane wasn’t the only demon who had infiltrated. in such a diverse, international company, this wasn’t at all strange.

there was kelsey darragh; a stray demon who found herself as a regular drunk in videos. though it had been rumored that demons couldn’t get drunk, kelsey had found a way to weaken that barrier in her predestined system and was now living the non-sober, immortal life. she was no harm to anyone. 

steven lim was a regular angel. but he had left heaven long ago. he wasn’t fallen or banished; he simply up and left with his wings intact, and found himself in the office of buzzfeed, making a human life for himself. you found it endearing that he somehow had subjected himself to gluttony with the worth it series, and yet his wings were pristine and he couldn’t care less.

and though the try guys had left buzzfeed, you couldn’t help but keep in close contact with their two guardians, miles and johnathan. they had become so carefree and human during their time on earth, so much that you doubted they would ever return long after the try guys were gone. you wished for that kind of feeling.

but you were stuck with shane. and that was a full time job.

“how’s life in buzzfeed?” johnathan asked when you met with him and miles during your lunch one day. though you all didn’t really have to eat, you found the warmth of tea comforted you.

you shook your head tiredly and miles let out a laugh, “that good?”

“i envy you boys,” you spoke. “you don’t have a shane to deal with.”

“yeah, that’s gotta be rough,” johnathan sympathized. “but that’s why you were the one chosen. you’re a powerful being; the big man knew what he was doing.”

“and i appreciate the opportunity i was granted with, but he’s..,” you took a breath. “infuriating.”

“how so?” miles asked, biting into the sandwich he had ordered. though you preferred drinks, you had come to realize that johnathan and miles had become accustomed to solid foods--something that you couldn’t quite yet stomach.

you looked around cautiously before leaning across the table to the boys. “he showed his horns the other day.”

miles nearly choked on his sandwich as johnathan’s eyes bugged out of his head. “did anyone see?”

“no,” you spoke with frustration, leaning back in your seat. “i think he did it just to stress me out and get a reaction, but hell..” you shook your head. “i mean, it did get a reaction. i was horrified.”

johnathan nodded with sympathy. miles asked lowly, “how did they look?”

you kept your gaze trained on the sealed wooden table in front of you, thinking back to just a few days ago. “terrifying.” you ran a hand atop your head, wishing you could feel the warmth of your halo. “they were twisted and.. they were just..” you shook your head. “so broken and dark. they weren’t even close to the glow we have.”

“we’re blessed,” johnathan spoke, making you finally look up. you looked into his serious eyes and nodded in agreement. he help up his water cup. “here’s to not falling.”

you and miles held up your drinks without a word.

..

“how’s it going with that angel chick?” kelsey asked shane as he made himself a sandwich, hopping onto the counter next to him. “have you, you know..” she smirked. “shed some of her feathers yet?”

“no,” shane spoke, shaking his head. he didn’t bother looking up at kelsey. “i don’t plan on..” he sighed, placing his butter knife down and leaning against the counter. “impurifying her, or making her fall or whatever.”

“whaat?” kelsey questioned. “why not? i’ve been trying to get steven down for weeks!”

shane gave her a plain look. “steven’s independent. he can’t fall.”

“he’s what?”

“never mind,” shane sighed, turning back to his sandwich in order to distract himself from kelsey’s spaced-out mindset. “besides, y/n doesn’t exactly respect me in any sense of the word. i don’t think i could get close to her if i tried.”

“well, duh,” kelsey shrugged. “she’s powerful. that’s why she was sent to deal with you and protect ryan.” shane considered that fact. “you can feel her grace when she walks in a room, even if you aren’t in the same room.” kelsey shrugged, looking into her cup. “she’s terrifying.”

shane shook his head. “no. she’s not terrifying.”

kelsey raised her eyebrows at him. “seriously? you’re telling me you can look y/n in those confident e/c eyes and not feel a little bit of fear? not feel that she could rip those twisted horns straight out of your head and leave you in purgatory to rot?”

shane considered the gruesome words. he never gave kelsey an answer.

let me know if you would like to be added to the series masterlist!!

[shyanshippingsociety]

Heya was wondering if you had any ff recommendations for shane x ryan which are set like nowish (so the setting is at buzzfeed unsolved or like watcher?) Tysm, im new to the shyan community !

welcome to the community !! happy to have you <3

our server members recommended these fics, hope you like them!

fics marked with an '♦️' are written by our server members, can have been written before or after they joined <3

♦️Teacher's Pet || chapscher || 25k || explicit || complete

“You aren’t describing a teacher’s pet! You’re describing… I don't know the name for it. Someone who tries to seduce their teacher so they can get a better grade.”

“Isn’t that a teacher’s pet?”

“No!”

_

Ryan is tired of losing every episode of Puppet History and asks Shane to tutor him. Shane obliges and tries to keep the tutoring session on track even as they distract each other

♦️Puppet History: Bedroom University || idkspookystuff || 3k || explicit || complete

Ryan doesn't have a thing for the Professor. He might have a thing for being told what to do.

♦️friends kiss too || Zhalia || 10k || explicit || complete

So before his brain can stop him, he hears the sound of his words, “Do you always kiss your friends on their lips?”

Shane finds himself looking down at Ryan, curious about how he’ll respond.

Ryan simply smiles, and shrugs as he says, “It’s an old habit — friends kiss too.” Which explains absolutely nothing.

aka Ryan kisses his friends casually and Shane has only a minor breakdown over it.

blond(e) || drunkkenobi || 15k || explicit || complete

In which Shane is a late bloomer to coloring his hair and his own sexuality. Not necessarily in that order.

I Wanna Give It To You || Fraudgara || 14k || explicit || complete

It was only once Ryan had stared at the cube-shaped thing for a moment that he realized it was a remote control. It had a tiny screen, an on/off button, another button marked "interval", and + and – buttons labeled "vibration".

They hadn’t talked about sex. They hadn’t talked about a lot of stuff. Ryan figured it sort of came with the territory of knowing your best friend in and out and wanting to kiss him so bad your head hurt. It had to come with the territory when you knew said best friend wanted the same thing without his ever really opening his mouth to say it.

--

Or Ryan receives a butt plug for his birthday which gives him an idea of what to give Shane for Christmas.

as the world caves in || ghoultown || 14k || teen and up || complete

Ryan is stressed. Shane is stressed. They each have their own stressors. They are both more than happy to pick up each other's pieces.

(or a collection of times ryan and shane have been pushed to the limit while prepping for and working at Watcher Entertainment)

Big Apple Steve and That Time He Obliviously Third-Wheeled His Friends All Summer || beethechange || 12k || teen and up || complete

Steven Lim is not a stupid man. Steven Lim is a capable man, an ex-scientist, creator and producer of Buzzfeed’s most popular video series. He helped invent Tide Pods, for Pete’s sake. Tide Pods.

So he knows he’s no idiot. He’s naïve, perhaps. He has blind spots, like anyone, particularly when it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to sex.

Still, when he walks in on Ryan sitting astride Shane’s lap on the sofa, tongue fully in the guy’s mouth, hand fully down his pants, Steven reckons he should probably have seen this one coming.

Like Wildfire || makemadej (santamonicayachtclub) || 20k || explicit || complete

“Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”

“I know!” Shane wails. “I fucked up.”

“Again,” Ryan points out, which is true but really not necessary.

(Or: the one where Shane accidentally tells Ryan's mom they're a couple and they commit to the bit)