#steph goodwin

[thecraggus]

Ouija Shark (2020) Review

Ouija Shark summons up little more than derision and disbelief. #Review

[movie-titlecards]

Ouija Shark (2020)

My rating: 4/10

Mostly reasonably amusing in a "just some people goofing around with a silly premise" kind of way - and then they had to put in that stupid joke about That Asshole at the end, and now I'm filled with rage because I managed to go whole months without having to think about him and this movie ruined that for me.

[tnt-tourney]

welcome one and all to the 2023 t+t tournament!! despite the long wait for the final bracket, the day has finally arrived. due to the size of the text, the list of contestants will be under the cut. due to how many contestants there are, i wont be able to tag everything, but i will tag as much as i can.

now, since it's been a while, a quick rehashing of the relevant rules!

1. be polite to others participating in the vote

2. do not Rig the vote -- propaganda is more than welcome and the askbox is always open for it! i just dont have the energy to deal with botting

3. dont be rude if the contestants youre rooting for are voted out!! sometimes thats just the way things go. theres always next time!

4. have fun !

the polls will start rolling out sometime next week. thank you!!

left:

Hexsquad (The Owl House) VS. Vault Hunters (Borderlands 1+2)

The Bad Kids (D20: Fantasy High) VS. FloweringPassionFruit (Ride the Cyclone)

Barbie + Ken (Barbie) VS. Dwarves (Deep Rock Galactic)

Mabel Pines + Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls) VS. The Fantastic 4 (Marvel)

Klaus Hargreeves + Viktor Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) VS. Spiderband (Spider-Man: Into/Across the Spiderverse)

Lup + Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone) VS. Cleo de Nile + Deuce Gorgon (Monster High)

Spideypool (Marvel) VS. Gomez Addams + Morticia Addams (The Addams Family)

Team Rocket (Pokémon) VS. Rashmi Jamil + Amelie Macon + Loam Arnault (Entropic Float)

Link + Zelda (The Legend of Zelda) VS. Peter Parker + Harry Osborn (Marvel)

Huey Duck + B.O.Y.D. (Ducktales 2017) VS. Golf Ball + Tennis Ball (Battle for Dream Island)

Lewis + Vivi + Arthur (Mystery Skulls Animate) VS. Horokeu Usui + Pirica Usui (Shaman King)

Paulkins (Hatchetfield) VS. Magnus Chase + Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard)

Bill Preston + Ted Logan (Bill and Ted) VS. Leonard Church + Agent Texas (Red vs. Blue)

Ariel + Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid) VS. Polypirates (JRWI: Riptide)

Cody Goodwin + May Goodwin (It Takes Two) VS. Frank-N-Furter + Magenta + Columbia + Riff Raff (The Rocky Horror Show)

SpaceDolls (Ride the Cyclone) VS. Kim Possible + Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible)

---

right:

The Guardians of the Galaxy (Marvel) VS. Julian Bashir + Miles O'Brien + Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

The Murder Crew (Clue) VS. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Vash the Stampede + Nicolas D. Wolfwood + Meryl Stryfe + Milly Thompson (Trigun) VS. Team Chaotix (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Steve + Alex (Minecraft) VS. Gyro Gearloose + Lil Bulb (Ducktales 2017)

Phantom Thieves (Persona 5) VS. Wright Anything Agency + Apollo Justice + Klavier Gavin (Ace Attorney)

Westley + Buttercup (The Princess Bride) VS. Shin + Noi (Dorohedoro)

Kermit + Miss Piggy (The Muppets) VS. The Mechanisms

Jeremy Heere + Michael Mell + Christine Canigula (Be More Chill) VS. The Solve It Squad (The Solve It Squad Returns)

Harleyberts + Crockenglishes (Homestuck) VS. Sonic & co. (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Mulder + Scully (The X-Files) VS. Steph Lauter + Pete Spankoffski (Hatchetfield)

Main Cast (Omori) VS. Ben Tennyson + Gwen Tennyson + Kevin Levin (Ben 10)

Ashe Ubert + Claude Von Riegan + Sylvain Jose Gautier (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) VS. Birdetta + Yoshi (Mario)

Prime Defenders (JRWI: Prime Defenders) VS. Strilondes (Homestuck)

The Mystery Gang (Scooby Doo) VS. Billie Logan + Thea Preston (Bill and Ted)

Splatoon Idols VS. Lexthan (Hatchetfield)

Sex Bob-omb + Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) VS. Jonathan Sims + Martin K. Blackwood (The Magnus Archives)

[dear-indies]

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me with three fc's? They are Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty, and I am for a variety of races. In my mind, Flora would be in her late 50's to early 60's, Fauna in her mid to late 40's, and Merryweather in her 30's. Thanks a bunch!

Flora:

Elaine Miles (1960) Cayuse and Nez Perce.

Joanna Scanlan (1961)

Thembsie Matu (1966) Xhosa South African.

Ruby Rodriguez (1966) Filipino [including Spanish] - has grey hair!

Fauna:

Kaliko Kauahi (1974) Kānaka Maoli and Japanese.

Ty Alexander (1974) African-American - has grey hair!

Brooke Elliott (1974)

Keala Settle (1975) Māori.

Lori Beth Denberg (1976)

Michelle Buteau (1977) Haitian [African, some Lebanese] / French, Jamaican [African, Indian, possibly other].

Frenchie Davis (1979) African-American.

Fortune Feimster (1980) - is a lesbian.

Chrissy Metz (1980)

Merryweather:

Beth Ditto (1981) - is queer - has spoken up for Palestine!

JB The First Lady / Jerilynn Webster (1984) Nuxalk, Onondaga.

Meghan Tonjes (1985)

Essie Golden (1986) African-American.

Nicole Byer (1986) African-American - "doesn't identify as straight" but is uncomfortable with the labels.

Da'Vine Joy Randolph (1986) African-American.

Amber Riley (1986) African-American.

Aidy Bryant (1987)

Gia Sinatra (1987)

Shay Neary (1987/1988) - is trans.

Brooke Markham (1988)

Brittney Spencer (1988) African-American.

Britney Young (1988) African-American / White.

Rosey Blair (1988)

Melanie Field (1988) - is queer.

Sharon Rooney (1988)

Cai Cortez (1988) Filipino.

Mary Lambert (1989) - is a lesbian - has spoken up for Palestine!

B.K. Cannon (1990)

Steph Tisdell (1990) Yidinji - has spoken up for Palestine!

Sophia Nomvete (1990) Black South African and Iranian - has period resources in The Rings of Power.

Megan Stalter (1990) - is bisexual.

Jessica Torres (1991) Ecuadorian - has spoken up for Palestine!

Thais Carla (1991) Brazilian.

Raven Goodwin (1992) African-American.

Raini Rodriguez (1993) Mexican.

Natasha Polis (1994) - Instagram is full of her in pretty dresses!

Hey anon! Here are some suggestions of all the fat/plus people I know in said age range. 💌

[duecredits]

Steph Goodwin

Ouija Shark (2020)

[raviposting]

So @singledarkshade​ has a Dream Movie challenge where we are given 6 actors from our favorite TV shows (or movies), a wildcard actor, and an object that should be incorporated into the plot. 

I decided to make my movie blurb and character descriptions like a “case file” of suspects as my movie is about a Private Investigator team, so enjoy! :) 

CASEFILE: King Investigations is the best investigative group in the country, and they are taking on so-called “unsolvable” cases, refusing new cases until they solve the one they have. One day, an envelope containing $5,000 is slid under their door alongside a note on a strip of paper. The request? To solve the murder of their recently deceased employee. The problem? Every employee of King Investigations is alive and accounted for, so they quickly get on the case - to solve why one of their own is getting murdered, and stop it before it happens.

SUSPECT: Stephanie Beatriz as Aimee Gonzalez 

Role: Technology specialist

Background: Suspect was hired 5 years ago after offering up her services for a case where a woman had been missing for 43 years. She solved the case within 24 hours of joining the team as a liaison and was immediately offered a full-time position at King Investigations. 

Characteristics: An expert at finding someone, if you’ve left even a trace of yourself online she will work tirelessly to find you. Suspect’s favorite color is pink and seems to have a splash of pink on her at all times, alongside any decorations she ever has laying around. The suspect is an out and proud bisexual woman. Suspect seems bright and bubbly, constantly hugging the other suspects and loudly proclaiming her love for them in public. Genuine happiness or an attempt to throw off the case from herself? 

Close relationships: Adam King (best friend), Nelly Johnson (close friend) 

Further suspects are listed under the cut:

SUSPECT: Tom Ellis as Adam King

Role: Founder of King Investigations

Background: Suspect founded King Investigations roughly 10 years ago, but has a PI background spanning two decades. He previously worked for Perry Co., but left under good terms to create the company with his husband, co-worker, and new employee. 

Characteristics: Suspect is a blunt, to-the-point PI who excels at investigating cases, but is not so great on the whole empathy thing. He is meticulous in every detail, and unlike Suspect Gonzalez’s tech-savviness, prefers everything traditional and vintage - from his work method to his clothes to his furniture. He comes off as sarcastic and dick-ish, and he is, but he’s also fiercely loyal and firmly believes in getting justice in every case. He will not give up, no matter how little he has to go on. 

Close Relationships: James King (husband), Lily Mullins (best friend), Aimee Gonzalez (best friend), Andrew Perry (mentor) 

SUSPECT: Michiel Huisman as James King 

Role: PI - particularly skilled in surveillance 

Background: Suspect has been working at King Investigations for 10 years, and like his husband, he migrated over from Perry Co. 

Characteristics: The more grounded counter to his husband, the suspect is a more quiet investigative sort, who also specializes in something that comes a bit harder to his husband - empathy. His role seems to involve trailing individuals and smoothing over any issues that arise, whether they be due to the case or Suspect Adam King’s own behavior. Further information on the suspect could not be found at this time. 

Close relationships: Adam King (husband), Clancy White (confidant), Andrew Perry (close friend) 

SUSPECT: Malcolm Goodwin as Clancy White

Role: “Bodyguard”, particularly skilled in combat 

Background: Suspect has been working at King Investigations for the shortest amount of time (2 years). Suspect began as the King Investigation team’s chief suspect in an unsolved murder, which he was promptly cleared of when the true murderer cornered Suspects Mullins and Adam King, and White apprehended them. He was offered a job shortly after. Suspect does not have a PI license and is instead employed as a “bodyguard” for the Kings, although he freely aids in investigations behind-the-scenes. 

Characteristics: Suspect is soft-spoken and quiet, but seems to attempt to match the personality and energy of whoever is speaking to him. Suspect is an aromantic man who entered into a queerplatonic relationship with suspect Nelly Johnson, and now lives with Nelly Johnson and Lily Mullins. 

Close Relationships: Nelly Johnson (partner), Lily Mullins (friend), James King (best friend) 

SUSPECT: Emmy Raver-Lampman as Nelly Johnson 

Role: Forensic specialist 

Background: Suspect is the one who originally came up with the idea of King Investigations, though she never worked at Perry Co. Suspect worked at the police department for 5 years and became frustrated with the department, and suggested to King and her now-wife (then girlfriend) Mullins that she would gladly work with them under their own company. Suspect immediately quit her department job after King Investigations was founded. 

Characteristics: Suspect is sharp-witted and seems to match King’s wit. She is clearly confident and has an inquisitive mind, constantly checking and re-checking every bit of evidence that comes her way. 

Close relationships: Lily Mullins (wife), Clancy White (partner), Aimee Gonzalez (friend) 

SUSPECT: Isla Fischer as Lily Mullins 

Role: PI at King Investigations

History: Suspect has been working at King Investigations for a decade. Much like the others, she migrated over from Perry Co. Out of the original founders, she has the least experience as an investigator, having started as an intern for only a few months before moving to King Investigations. 

Characteristics: Suspect is sharp-tongued and has a good poker face. She seems to have strong combat skills and is exceptionally manipulating others into giving her information. She and her wife recently moved in with Clancy White. Suspect is seemingly always on guard, scanning for danger in even the most mundane circumstances. Suspect should be watched closely. 

Close relationships: Nelly Johnson (wife), Clancy White (close friend), Adam King (best friend), Andrew Perry (mentor) 

SUSPECT: Harrison Ford as Andrew Perry 

Role: Former head of Perry Co.

Background: Suspect is the mentor to the Kings and Mullins, who all used to work for him before moving on to create King Investigations. Perry retired shortly before the three announced their business. 

Characteristics: He acts as a father figure to these suspects King(s) and Mullins, and sees them regularly, as well as occasionally visiting the other team members. Suspect seemed reluctant to come out of retirement when the investigative team asked him to come out of retirement to help solve the case, but did so upon realizing that it was a life-or-death situation. Suspect seems reserved, but clearly cares for the founding investigators. 

Close relationships: Adam King (mentee), Lily Mullins (mentee), James King (close friend) 

Item - Lamp 

The lamp is remarked upon by every single member of the investigative team. Clancy believes Aimee brought it in, due to her love of pink. Nelly believes Adam brought it in with his love of vintage materials, Adam believes it was Clancy due to his poor taste in decorations, etc. Each team member has an off-hand comment on how ugly the lamp looks before moving on. 

BONUS: Plot summary (with some scenes written in because I couldn’t help myself) 

We start off with a news-voiceover on King Investigation’s latest bust as we see the team stopping a potential murder. The reporter briefly introduces each character (as we see each doing their own thing in the case), and through the voiceover, we see the team turning in the suspect to the police, as well as discovering valuables of their client’s. She thanks them and provides them with a hefty sum of money. The reporter says the team has solved yet another seemingly unsolveable case and preventing a murder to boot, while we see the team begin to move furniture into a new building. As the voiceover speaks about their professionalism, we see Nelly and Adam arguing, and Nelly throwing out an old vase. Aimee sits on the curb, watching the group arguing and struggling to carry the furniture into the house. The voiceover begins to praise the team for their hard work and perserverance, as we see Clancy turn to Aimee and motion towards the furniture, at which point she shrugs and offers him the chips she has been eating. He accepts and sits down next to her. 

The beginning half hour shows the dynamics within the team - a team that seems to bicker constantly, but are obviously very close with one another. They are at lunch with their former boss, Andrew Perry, when he asks how the move is going: 

[The team is clustered around a round table outside. CLANCY is holding NELLY’s hand. LILY has a pleasant smile on her face, but she is looking beyond the group, her eyes scanning the area. ADAM has his legs stretched out, prompting an eye roll from AIMEE, and JAMES has made himself as small as possible, crossing his legs to provide AIMEE more room. ANDREW sits next to AIMEE, looking at the group with an amused smile] 

ADAM: It’s splendid, really, Andrew, save for Nelly throwing out my furniture yet again - 

NELLY: If you get one more ugly-ass vintage piece I am throwing it out, I swear to God. 

ADAM, indignant: I - ugly? These are pieces of history. 

[ADAM processes that NELLY said she would throw out his pieces] 

ADAM: And excuse me? Throw out the furniture I bring into my office? Need I remind you that I am the boss? 

NELLY [mocking ADAM’s indignant tone]: Need I remind you King Investigations wouldn’t even be a thing if I didn’t suggest it? 

[ANDREW laughs and excuses himself to flag down a waiter and get another round of drinks for the table. As he leaves, ADAM and NELLY have a stare down while the rest of the group ignores them. AIMEE reaches over JAMES to steal a fry from ADAM’s plate, but he swats her hand away, never breaking eye contact. The music swells, until finally -] 

NELLY: Fine. I won’t throw away your stupid vintage shit. 

ADAM: Aha! See, this is why I am the boss, everyone.

[The group ignores him, and JAMES grabs two fries from ADAM’s plate, giving one to AIMEE] 

The team gets settled in, setting up security measures, adjusting things around the office, and giving Perry a tour. We see them in a fully furnished office, pouring over what case they want to take on next. Lily pauses for a moment, thinking she’s heard something, but brushes off the feeling and continues on. The team falls silent when Clancy notices a letter that has slid under their door, alongside an envelope with $50,000 in cash with the message: 

CLANCY [with a confused, questioning tone]: My deepest condolences to losing a member of your investigative team, I trust this amount will be enough for you to uncover who carried out this plot, the remainder will be delivered to you upon the completion of the case? 

[AIMEE furrows her eyebrows and quickly counts up each member in the room]

AIMEE: Well unless one of us drops in the next 5 seconds, I’d say we’re all pretty alive. 

CLANCY: Maybe it’s a joke? 

JAMES [gesturing to the money]: It is a very expensive joke. 

The team determines that the note was sent in advance because somewhere, the murderer’s plot went wrong, and so they work with two goals in mind: Figure out who is getting murdered, and why. 

JAMES: First, we have to figure out who is most likely to be our victim. 

[All eyes turn to ADAM, who is intently pouring over the letter. He stops when he hears the lack of silence, and glares at them] 

ADAM: Oh come on now, I get the job done. 

NELLY: I say this with love, but you’re an asshole, Adam. I think every case we’ve ever worked has at least one person who threatened to kill you. 

LILY: And twice it was the victim we were saving. 

ADAM: Well that’s just - 

NELLY [muttering]: I’d kill you myself over your shitty home decor choices. 

[NELLY briefly motions to the garish pink lamp in the corner, but ADAM is not paying attention, because his attention is on JAMES, who has turned to write down ADAM’s name at the top of his whiteboard, and ADAM gives a sound of protest. JAMES looks back at his husband, an apologetic look on his face.] 

JAMES: Sorry, Adam. You know it’s true. 

ADAM [sighs, waving his hand at the board]: Fine, put me on the board. 

[JAMES writes down ADAM’s name at the top of the whiteboard, then underlines his name three times]

Throughout the movie, the team works to identify who the victim could be. Clancy and Lily tail the Kings, convinced that it is Adam or James who are the intended victims. Adam and Aimee work on the idea that it could be due to one of their past cases, and James and Nelly track down the man who sent the letter - a recent British immigrant who claims that he was told to do so and paid by an anonymous caller and that he never got the face. He admits he realized he got the date wrong - 5/6/2021 instead of 6/5/2021, and they realize it is a month before the supposed murder is supposed to take place. 

Coming to a pause in their investigation, James, Lily, and Adam ask Andrew for help. He is reluctant but agrees. The group continues on, getting frustrated as they track down lead after lead without any further break. It comes to a head when: 

[ADAM slams down a file in frustration, and the other members look up, frustration etched onto their faces as well.] 

ADAM: There’s nothing. There probably will be nothing until the murder is supposed to happen. 

[CLANCY sighs and leans his head back, wincing when he hits the pink lamp]

CLANCY: Okay, I know that you love pink, Aimee, but this is ugly even with the color scheme. 

[The team has a confused look on their faces, and AIMEE and ADAM speak at the same time] 

AIMEE: No, Lily brought it in -                    ADAM: Wait, you didn’t bring it?

LILY: Why would I bring this -                     CLANCY: Definitely didn’t, man.

[There is a brief pause as each team member processes, and the team speaks over one another] 

JAMES: I had just assumed Clancy brought it in as well - 

NELLY: Okay, I thought it was Adam. Figured he was just trying to rile me up with his weird furniture.

ADAM: I have taste, Nelly - 

[LILY shushes the group] 

LILY: So none of us bought this lamp in? 

[The group stares at the lamp, and LILY writes on a slip of paper. The other members write as well, understanding that there may be a bug in the lamp, and Nelly grabs her materials to investigate the lamp.] 

As the group continues, they find a listening device in the lamp. Aimee works to trace where it came from, but Adam stops her, and looks to Lily and James, a look of understanding passing between them, as they all recognize and used to use this type of listening device before - at Perry Co. They dig into Andrew and find out that he was not intending to retire until he found out about King Investigations - a week prior to them actually telling him of their plan, and a former colleague tells them that Perry had lamented that if Nelly hadn’t brought up the idea, this never would have happened. They determine that Nelly is his target and start their plan. 

The next scene, Andrew is visiting the office to help with the case. The team confronts him, laying down the evidence: 

ADAM [his eyes are teary, but his tone is angry and cold]: Rather clever of you, got the lamp in what, during the final move? And you listened to us so you’d be ahead of us every step of the way. 

AIMEE: Once we figured out it was you, it was all too easy to track the phone you used to contact [letter sender]. 

LILY [her tone biting]: And we asked you for help. You played hesitant, but we offered you up the case on a silver platter. 

JAMES: And we know exactly who you were trying to kill. 

[The music swells, and ANDREW’s shoulders slump. He knows that he’s been found out. He and ADAM speak at the same time.]

ADAM: Nelly                                               ANDREW [resigned]: Myself 

[There is a pause, and then JAMES speaks, surprise clear in his voice for the first time in the movie] 

JAMES: What?  

From here, we have the conclusion - Andrew admits that he doesn’t hate Nelly, he respects her for understanding when a change needs to occur. He hadn’t planned on retiring until he found out he was losing his best detectives, but he didn’t want them to go onto their new job with any hesitations or regrets, so he announced his retirement earlier than planned. There was just one problem - he began missing his detectives, who he had come to view as pseudo-children. 

Andrew put a plan into place - he would prove, as Aimee did all those years ago, that he could be useful to the team. He concocted a plan where he would fake his death and lead the team down different twists and turns until they found the culprit, at which point he would reveal himself to be alive. Unfortunately, his letter was delivered far too early, and Andrew had to intervene wherever he could in the investigation. 

ADAM: I can’t believe this. 

ANDREW: I know, I know, it was stupid, I just wanted to show you I was sharp and could still do it. 

ADAM: You could have just applied, like a normal person. 

ANDREW: I could have, but that wouldn’t be nearly as fun, would it? 

JAMES: A murder plot is not fun, Andrew. 

The team forgives Andrew, knowing that his intentions were good, but say that they need a bit of time before seeing him again, and he agrees. In the last act a few months later, they are having lunch again, sans Andrew. They return to the office. When they open the door, they see a paper, and Adam sighs before he realizes what it is. It’s a job application, filled out with a resume for an Andrew Perry attached, and he grins. 

[ADAM picks up his phone and sits down, the ugly pink lamp right next to him, and the phone rings, until someone picks up.] 

ADAM [smiling]: Hello there, I’m calling to follow up with your application to King Investigations. It is rather impressive, and we’d like to call you in for an interview.

[Muffled sounds of a voice coming through the phone, and ADAM grins wider] 

ADAM: Wonderful, we’ll see you at 8 AM sharp tomorrow. We look forward to having you on board Mr. Perry 

This was so fun to write! Thanks to @ginnxtonic​ for helping me choose between my two endings lol <3 

[lenasai]

this week in blaseball: season 19 edition

no talk coin angy

losing Good, actually

ivy wlaffle house speedrun

georgias ended a game in black hole with 9.9 points

paula turnip killed an umpire

nan stole two balls from niq nyong'o and cheated their way to a walk

firefighters ended a game with 6.9 points (nice)

crabs looped TWICE in one game

wake up new weather dropped...it make number go up or down

georgias overperformed due to Number Go Down and made Number Go Down even more

max found a way to have the overperforming and underperforming mods at the same time. you may not like it, but this is what performance looks like

THE COIN AND THE READER ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG

blasketball?? are we doing blasketball now????

ivy committed peanut fraud by shelling themself, unshelling themself, then later confusing the shit out of the sim by overwriting the permanent version of their superallergic mod with a temporary version of flattery's superallergic mod and losing it later in the game

okay tigers, we got to see the evo mod go off, can you please stop now

DUCK WORLD TOUR

max drank a whole pot of coffee and ended up having free refill and triple threat active at the same time

tigers drilled the wings into the ground 30-0.2

bees taswell got scattered and came back as "bese"

jaylen hotdogfingers got some cool socks

the entire mechanics lineup went elsewhere except for kelvin drumsolo. the sim has chosen nominative determinism.

THE GREAT DRUM SOLO, in which kelvin drumsolo singlehandedly looped the steaks. call that a drumline.

the society data witches (a coffee cup team that you CAN technically still join if you have the link) attempted a data crime and broke the site so badly, the devs had to get involved and make the monitor explain everything later

gee tigers how come blaseball let you have TWO aldon cashmoney replicas

the shoe thieves got a goodwin replica that proceeded to eat all of their gifts

firefighters vowed to destroy sun 2

brisket friendo saved the garages from extra innings in an eclipse by scoring 0.3 unruns and un-tying the game

steph weeks returned from elsewhere completely scattered

glitter games are super fun until someone gets a FLICKERING BAT

the sim traded away the player the garages spent their wills from the last season on (an og we coordinated hard on getting back) for a replica

worms got illegal party time

many teams one epic idol board shenanigans

the data witches got a shoutout from the monitor

you can apparently get slam dunks from elsewhere

the lovers and garages would like to PERSONALLY FIGHT THE SIM

the garages advanced to the finals by putting the last game against the magic into extra innings and ending with shame

the lift won the last game and faxed out the garages pitcher in the process

WHICH PLOT BUTTON WILL WE PRESS? FIND OUT...TOMORROW!

[arbeaone]

For “Great British Baking Show” Contestants, The Real Loss is the Endless Trolling

by Rae Robey Published on December 2, 2019 at 11:51am

Against the vast backdrop of high-octane and anxiety-inducing cooking competition television programs, The Great British Baking Show is an aberration. Internationally beloved for its affable contestants and endless supply of baking-themed anglicisms—“soggy bottoms” and “saucy puds” abound—the show follows a dozen or so home bakers as they compete to be named Britain’s best amateur baker. When the 2019 season premiered with a record-breaking 9.6 million viewers, each contestant was thrust into the public eye; most have racked up tens of thousands of Instagram followers since the season began in August. For American audiences in particular, The Great British Baking Show’s intrinsic wholesomeness makes it a cultural phenomenon: We could never be so well-mannered in a televised competition, but we do enjoy pretending.

The Great British Baking Show is, at most, an estranged cousin to American cutthroat cooking competitions like Chopped, Iron Chef, or even Cupcake Wars. In the Baking Show tent, contestants help each other finish their bakes, are graceful (even grateful!) in defeat, and despair when their purported rivals are dismissed from the competition. Each episode is predicated on kindness, love, support, and the freely-given home-baked comforts of the feminine domestic realm. Even the grand prize—a cake stand and some flowers, no cash—highlights the show’s near-pathological humility. Produced by a team called Love Productions, decency is, we can only assume, woven into the show’s DNA. But when Baking Show airs on TV, long after the last bun is iced and the final bap prodded, the trolling begins.

Each season, the bakers spend months immersed in icing sugar, bavarois, and ganache, frantically preparing for the 30 challenges of the competition. In addition to the generalized stress of executing difficult pastry skills while trying to impress professional judges on an international stage, the bakers are told by producers that they’ll likely deal with some backlash from a handful of disproportionately peeved viewers. After all, it’s a competition. But the backlash goes beyond competition, and, despite the warning, most bakers are blindsided by the frequency and ferocity of their trolling. And though adoring fans are certainly in the majority, online trolls yell the loudest. Stacey Hart, a Season 8 semifinalist, dealt with severe online harassment as soon as the season began airing. “I’m smug, I’m a bitch, I’m a worthless piece of shit, I’m a useless baker,” Hart told Bitch, describing the comments that strangers sent her. “[The show] was the best experience and the best thing—at the time—that I ever did. It became the worst thing I ever did.” Trolls loathed her pink, glittery bakes and how often she brought up motherhood; their caustic DMs and comments drove her into a months-long depression. “I’m quite a self-conscious person anyway, and it made me question myself,” says Hart. “Am I good enough?”

Before Hart, there was Ruby Tandoh, a Season 4 runner-up who was deemed a “filthy slag” who traded sexual favors and weaponized “female tears” for preferential judging. Tandoh wrote a piece for The Guardian in October 2013 describing the waves of “lazy misogyny” that followed each episode’s release, but shining light on the problem change much for future contestants. Claire Goodwin, the first to leave the tent in Season 5, was inundated with fat-shaming comments. Season 6 winner Nadiya Hussain, a first-generation British Bangladeshi, was told to “go home” on Twitter. Candice Browne, winner of Season 7, regularly endured comments from strangers who “fucking hate Candice, reckon she’s a right bitch.”

In a 2018 joint study with Element AI, Amnesty International named online trolling of women a human rights violation—one that social media platforms like Twitter continuously refuse to be held accountable for. The trolling of Baking Show contestants generally reflects the Amnesty International findings: White women are trolled hard, but women of color are trolled harder. Commenting on the viciousness of a particularly nasty troll, Hussain offered a succinct explanation: “I’m Muslim, brown, working-class and a woman! I may as well have ‘punching bag’ written on my torso.” In general, men are less likely to be trolled and, instead, are more likely to be trolls themselves, due to years of learned misogyny and—according a Brunel University and Goldsmiths, University of London report—a higher rate of narcissism. But on Baking Show, trolling often extends to the men with nearly as much vitriol and regularity as it does to the women.

Dan Beasley-Harling, a 2018 contestant and self-identified “gay-at-home dad” received the overwhelming bulk of Season 8’s cumulative harassment. “It was about five weeks of people just saying horrible things about me constantly. I had some really overtly homophobic comments,” says Beasley-Harling, referring to unoriginal jabs about queer sex and the suitability of a queer parent. Trolls can generally find a problem with any woman, but two types of bakers stand out as exceptionally deserving of harassment: women who don’t land neatly in the realm of palatable, perfect femininity, and men who aren’t stereotypically masculine. Beasley-Harling’s experience suggests that Baking Show trolls might take a more nuanced approach to their vocation.

Perhaps it’s not just about harassing women online—it’s about re-establishing gendered power dynamics and punishing those who flirt with the domestic on public-facing platforms. Domestic work has historically been an unpaid at-home venture delegated to women, so Baking Show contestants are either women overstepping their household boundaries or men crossing gendered labor lines. For a troll, either is a damnable offense. But with each record-smashing episode, Baking Show subverts the assumptions of where femininity belongs, who it belongs to, and how much it’s worth—roughly £24.2 million in predicted revenue. Still, exploitation is often and easily disguised as empowerment. Lest we forget, Baking Show contestants aren’t paid, and the grand “prize” has little to no real-world value.

To an extent, we all participate in the uninformed and unkind public judging that trolls have championed. We experience celebrities and public figures—especially women—as dehumanized subjects ripe for public dissection, each one existing in a vacuum sealed behind a screen. After all, the Baking Show contestants are filmed, edited, and packaged by professionals into easily digestible archetypes for the sake of a comprehensible and compelling storyline. For example, the latest season featured Michael Chakraverty as the optimistic goofball, Steph Blackwell as the irrationally insecure savant, and Helena Garcia as the spooky, whimsical free spirit. While these personas are fully inspired by who the bakers actually are, they’re ultimately deployed to create drama and tension where it doesn’t exist—that’s just the mandate of reality-TV editing.

But trolls live in the extreme, and for them the editing spurs online abuse. Beasley-Harling, for example, saw the trolling as a direct extension of Love Production’s editing. “I felt like the editing choices were very much treating me like collateral damage,” Beasley-Harling says. “I phoned Love Productions and said, ‘I don’t think you’re representing me fairly, I understand why people don’t like me.’ And they said, ‘No, you’re crazy, everyone’s getting a fair, balanced view on the show. It’s all in your head.’” Gaslighting, the Old Faithful of emotional abuse is regularly deployed against women, people of color, the LGBTQ community and other marginalized groups, is remarkably efficient at restabilizing power dynamics—exactly what trolls seek to do. A representative for Love Productions stated via email that: “Love Productions has always taken contributor care seriously and has robust protocols in place to protect and support those taking part in our shows throughout production and after transmission. These protocols evolve to acknowledge and address the changing media landscape and scrutiny.”

Depending on who you ask, however, the robustness of their protocols fluctuates. According to Beasley-Harling, past contestants have speculated that the Love Productions team tailors their level of attention and support based on the profitability of the contestant in question. After leaving the tent halfway through the competition, Beasley-Harling felt like Love Productions was less interested in protecting its contestants from trolling when money was to be made elsewhere, a behavior not dissimilar to reality television at large. “I barely left my house for three months. I was a shitty parent for three months,” Beasley-Harling says, describing the impact of his trolling. “To me, that felt like, ‘We’ve used you for the entertainment value and now we’re disposing of you.’” But Hart, the semifinalist who received the brunt of Season 8’s trolling and suffered a depressive period similar to Beasley-Harling’s, found Love Productions reassuring throughout airing.

“Every time I called them, they were wonderful. Didn’t matter what time of day,” says Hart. But she does concede that the emotional scarring from her online abuse outlasted Love’s self-proclaimed robust protocols. “They’ve got no idea how it’s affected me to this day,” says Hart. “I don’t think that’s their problem anymore, is it?” It remains to be seen how this year’s cohort of bakers will fare. Airing in the United Kingdom continued through October, and this year’s crop of bakers appear as chipper as ever, even online. So far, trolling appears to be minimal—maybe the bakers can avoid it if they subscribe more closely to normative gender expectations. “When I went on the Bake Off I wasn’t worried about my hair or my makeup or what I was wearing,” says Hart. “Maybe if I had made more of an effort, people would have been nicer to me.”

[philharmaddy-blog]

Disney Tag

So I think in the coming weeks I’ll be alternating posts between fun/hype and informational, so I thought I’d start off with a Disney Tag! Thanks to Steph for letting me steal her Disney Tag format, you can find her blog on her upcoming DCEP here.

So without further ado, let’s get into it... Grab your snacks, because this will be a long one!

Disney Movie: This is a hard one, but I think I have to go with The Little Mermaid just because of the number of times I watched that movie as a kid on VCR purely because my parents wouldn’t let me watch the behind the scenes footage that played after the movie unless I watched the whole thing through! FUN FACT: I was terrified of all animated movies as a kid, because I thought they were all as scary as A Bug’s Life, the crazy creations of Sid in Toy Story and the two terrifying scenes from Fantasia (Rite of Spring dinosaurs and Night on Bald Mountain)

DCOM Movie: Does The Lizzie McGuire Movie count?

Pixar Movie: The Incredibles. I love that soundtrack so much!

Disney Sequel: Either Lion King 3/1.5 or The Rescuers Down Under. Although I’m sure with Wreck It Ralph 2 coming out soon, my answer will probably change!

Disney Song: Belle. The writing is brilliant, the backing orchestral score is beautiful, and it sets the scene of the small provincial town so perfectly as the opening number of Beauty and the Beast.

Disney Love Song: It’s not a duet (well, it kind of is if you count the Muses), but I Won’t Say I’m In Love from Hercules is one of my favourites. 

Disney Villain Song: This one is easy. Poor Unfortunate Souls is such a classic.

Disney Song that gets stuck in my head: My brain will switch between Someday My Prince Will Come and A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes. But nothing is as much of an ear worm as It’s A Small World...

Disney Soundtrack: If we are including Pixar, it would be The Incredibles, because I love Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band. If it’s strictly Disney Animation, then I would go with Sleeping Beauty since they used Tchaikovsky’s ballet score. Or maybe Princess and the Frog for that sweet Dixieland jazz? I don’t know, it’s too hard to decide! Never ask a musician what their favourite music is...

Disney Quote: “I give myself very good advice, but I seldom follow it” (Alice in Wonderland)

Disney Ride: I think I have to go with Expedition Everest after my younger brother and I tricked my dad into riding it (we didn’t tell him about the bit that goes backwards!). Plus I love that documentary about its construction, even if we now only have the Disco Yeti.... 

Disney Show: Wishes will always be my favourite. 

Disney Parade: Festival of Fantasy, although I don’t know if it’s as good now that the dragon has gone down in flames.... literally...

Disney Food: The beignets at Port Orleans French Quarter

WDW/DL? I have to go with WDW since it’s the only one I’ve visited

WDW Park: Has to be Magic Kingdom since it’s the one that I spent the most time in, but I also adore Animal Kingdom

Disney Photo:  It has to be my amazing candid shot with Gaston. 

Time for some characters!

Princess: Anna, she’s such a goofball!

Disney Princess Dress: I love the classic Cinderella dress. Although Merida’s looks super comfy!

Prince: Either Flynn Rider or Prince Naveen, I love those suave, charming personalities

Couple: Meg and Hercules

Side-Kick: Mushu

Villain: I love all the villains so it’s hard to choose, but I narrowed it down to Ursula and Hades. All the sass!

Animal: Maximus (the horse from Tangled)

Pixar Character: There are so many good ones to choose from! But I think Dory takes the cake

Disney character I most identify with: Probably Ariel or Anna because I am overly enthusiastic about the most mundane things

Pixar character I most identify with: The seagulls in Finding Nemo any time there is food around

Disney movie I would star in if I could: Probably Hercules because I would love to be a Muse.... but really, we could all do with having a new Disney film where the princess is an alto...

Disney movie that makes me laugh: Again, Hercules. Despite how badly inaccurate the movie is to Greek mythology (even the name itself is wrong), I still think it’s one of the funniest of the animated movies. Either that or Aladdin, because Robin Williams is a gem.

Disney movie that makes me cry: Not technically Disney since it’s Pixar, but Up. Every time. Storytime: my state orchestra were doing ‘Pixar In Concert’, where they played medleys of the soundtracks with clips of the movie up on a massive screen. But not for Up, no.... They played the entire first 15 or so minutes of the movie with the soundtrack live. I think everyone in that entire theatre was sobbing by the end of it.

Disney item I collect: I don’t have any at the moment but I’m hoping to start pin trading and collecting signatures once I get there! I’m more of an experience over material kind of girl.

Most treasured Disney item: A card that says “If you can dream it, you can do it”, signed by all the teachers of the music department from my high school that I was given at the end of my final year when I was music captain.

First Disney movie I ever saw: Fantasia. I had a Sorcerer Mickey plush in my room, but I was asleep for the majority of the movie. Except for the two sections I mentioned earlier that scared me off watching more animated movies for years...

What I would like to see in a Disney movie: Please make the princess an alto and non-belter! Please!!! For the sake of all of us girls with low voices who can’t belt out Let it Go or warble along to Sleeping Beauty or Snow White!

What I would like to see at a Disney park: Still waiting for that fifth gate based around Disney Villains filled with thrill rides! Or maybe shooting a bit lower in expectations, a revamped version of the old and forgotten Fire Mountain idea for Adventureland in the form of a roller coaster themed around the volcano from Moana?

Park character I was/am looking forward to meeting: I’ve met Gaston which was pretty great. But otherwise I really want to meet some of the other princes! In particular, Flynn Rider and Naveen. Also can’t wait to meet Chewie in Hollywood Studios!

Best Disney Story: So to set the scene, it’s just as the park is about to open after Extra Magic Hours, I had been hanging out in New Fantasyland solo while my dad was sleeping in. I go to try and find where the meet and greet for Cinderella’s step family are, only to be given the hint by a Character Attendant to get in line for the carousel. I end up on a horse in between Anastasia and Drizella, with Lady Tremaine a few horses away! But that’s not the end of the story… After getting off the ride, I end up walking with Lady Tremaine to her character spot, idly chatting about how awful Cinderella’s hospitality was at the Royal Table last night, how the matriarchy will rise again, etc. Finally get to the character spot and see a massive line has already formed. So I get ready to say farewell to the characters. But no! I get told by Lady Tremaine that I’m a “VIP” and as a lady of such high class deserve only the best. And so I skip the entire queue and get an amazing photo right away!

And that’s all, folks! 

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! My next pre-DCEP hype post will probably be a full bucket list - so probably even longer than this one!

[cxvgfrertiou879878]

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Read and Download Roanne van Voorst book Fear!: Extreme Athletes on How to Reach Your Highest Goals and Overcome Stress and Self Doubt.This book features interviews with the world?s best extreme athletes and their coaches on how to overcome fear and self-doubt in stressful situations. Their lessons are valuable for people with all sorts of common fears: flying, public speaking, heights, failure, commitment, rejection, driving a car, taking financial risks or changing career. From self-hypnosis to visualization to rational analyses ? the interviewees tested the most effective strategies to overcome anxiety, and share their formula for success in this book. Featuring: Alex Honnold - Steph Davis - Lynn Hill - Catherine Destivelle -?Spiderman? Alain Robert -Hazel Findlay- Arno Ilgner- Jorg Verhoeven ?Dan Goodwin ? Don McGrath ? Cedric Dumont ?Edurne Pasaban ? Alexander Schulz ? Rebecca Williams ? Martin Fickweiler . 

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[hadarlaskey]

LWLies 89: The First Cow issue – On sale now!

People often say they “grew up” with an artist’s work. Which can mean that this work became meaningful at a critical time in life, or that the work became a trusted companion, arriving at handy intervals across a broader timescale. It’s coming up to 15 years since I first encountered the work of American director Kelly Reichardt. It was a London Film Festival screening of 2006’s Old Joy. I watched it at the keen, slightly hectoring behest of an industry colleague and, from that moment, have never looked back.

It’s massively satisfying to encounter each new work by this director of films which are perhaps a tad too subtle and delicate to puncture the mainstream (and they are clearly not made with that function in mind). Yet under these placid surfaces lay great riches for those willing to plunge for them. Her latest, First Cow, is no different, a miniature epic which chronicles a fast male friendship, a burgeoning baking empire on the American frontier, and then takes a bittersweet turn into more metaphysical climes.

In this issue, we celebrate the world of Kelly Reichardt by embracing her love of natural landscapes on screen, and also talking to some of her longtime collaborators, including author Jon Raymond and alt rock icon, Will Oldham. And as a special little side-project, we’ve included an alternative history of the New Hollywood cinema of the late ’60s and ’70s as told through a variety of wondrous baked goods created by some of our most gifted collaborators.

Order Your Copy

On the cover

The embroidered cover is by Steph Watts, inspired by the hand-wrought quality of Reichardt’s films, but also intended as a gorgeous piece of craft that might exist within the world of First Cow itself. From conception to completion, the piece took just under a month to create, and we sincerely hope that Steph was wearing a thimble to prevent any stitching-based injury.

Illustrators featured in this issue: Stéphanie Sergeant, Hazel Mason, Ruthie Gibbs, Elena Mompó, and Robin Goodwin.

In this issue

Horizon’s West Kelly Reichardt in conversation with Christina Newland, as the pair discuss modern conceptions of the western and the enduring value of old-fashioned craft.

Dear Jon Caitlin Quinlan speaks to Reichardt’s longtime screenwriting collaborator who has provided the narrative seed for the majority of her movies – including First Cow.

Will Power Adam Woodward meets the vaunted songsmith to discuss his early roles in Old Joy and Wendy and Lucy, and some of his other brief incursions into the world of film – including a Kanye West music promo.

Chirp Thrills Kelly Reichardt goes to great pains to make sure the birdsong in her movies is geographically and temporally authentic. Jake Cunningham goes on a journey to look at the cinematic uses of birdsong.

The Sky Is Not the Limit A new book picks apart James Benning’s 2004 film Ten Skies – which is ten shots of skyscapes. Matt Turner meets its author, Dr Erika Balsom, to discuss the crossover between the natural world and experimental film.

The New Hollywood Bake Off Seven cherished LWLies collaborators create delicious and aesthetically-striking baked comestibles in homage to the films of the New Hollywood era.

In the back section

Prano Bailey-Bond The director of the brilliant Censor discusses her formative influences, recreating the 1980s and her mortal fear of Simon Bates with Hannah Strong.

Video Nasties – ranked Cannibals! Nazis! Cannibal Nazis! Every single film banned under the 1984 Video Recording act ranked from worst to best.

Amir El-Masry Elena Lazic talks to the British-Egyptian star of Ben Sharrock’s refugee comedy Limbo who reveals his amazing entry into the world of acting.

Joanna Scanlan The star of the moving new British drama After Love discusses with David Jenkins why she loves straight drama more than comedy.

Cathy Brady The director of Wildfire speaks to Ella Kemp about the tragedy of losing her leading lady to illness just after filming wrapped.

Ousmane Sembène As his fantastic 1968 film Mandabi is re-released and restored, Leila Latif pens an introduction to this Senegalese filmmaker whose work is still fairly hard to come by.

The Underground Railroad Rōgan Graham reviews the new TV series directed by Barry Jenkins, adapted from the Pulitzer prize-winning novel by Colson Whitehead.

In review

Prano Bailey-Bond’s Censor Gorō Miyazaki’s Earwig and the Witch Robert Altman’s Nashville Ben Wheatley’s In the Earth Anna Kerrigan’s Cowboys Lance Oppenheim’s Some Kind of Heaven Ben Sharrock’s Limbo Viktor Kossakovsky’s Gunda Mark Isaacs’ The Filmmaker’s House Aneil Karia’s Surge Ira Sachs’ Frankie Emma Seligman’s Shiva Baby Elia Suleiman’s It Must Be Heaven Aleem Khan’s After Love Quentin Dupieux’s Deerskin Dror Moreh’s The Human Factor Riccardo Servini and Nick Taussig’s A Space in Time Zoe Wittock’s Jumbo Michel Franco’s New Order Philippe Falardeau’s My New York Year Cathy Brady’s Wildfire Monica Zanetti’s Ellie and Abbie (& Ellie’s Dead Aunt) Filippo Meneghetti’s Two of Us Anders Ølholm and Frederik Louis Hviid’s Shorta

LWLies 89 is available to order online now from our online shop. Become a Member or subscribe today to make sure you never miss an issue.

The post LWLies 89: The First Cow issue – On sale now! appeared first on Little White Lies.

source https://lwlies.com/articles/lwlies-89-the-first-cow-issue/

[tabloidtoc]

Star, March 9

Cover: Catherine Zeta-Jones dumps Michael Douglas 

Page 1: Pregnant Jenna Dewan and Steve Kazee engaged 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: LOL! Bethenny Frankel is getting her own competition series, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union role play to keep things hot, Gwyneth Paltrow threw a makeup-free party but some like Rachel Zoe didn’t get the memo, Orlando Bloom showed off a corrected version of his tattoo with his son’s name in Morse code, with the Golden State Warriors move to San Francisco Steph Curry has dropped a bundle on his new pad 

Page 4: Hayden Panettiere’s dangerous romance 

Page 5: Chip and Joanna Gaines success in Waco has driven up property taxes 20% and home prices by 52% and the locals aren’t happy, Kate Middleton used hypnobirthing to ease the pain of baby delivery, Julianne Hough has been obsessed with discovering her true self but friends fear she’s gone off the deep end and it’s ruined her marriage 

Page 6: Kelly Clarkson’s super slimdown, Star Spots the Stars -- Tiffani Thiessen, Olivia Culpo, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Amanda Stanton, Jerome Robinson 

Page 8: Star Shots -- Zooey Deschanel and Jonathan Scott at the Emma premiere, Justin Bieber surprised James Corden with a rose on Carpool Karaoke, Tom Holland and Chris Pratt at the premiere of Onward 

Page 9: Kellan Lutz at a screening of Impractical Jokers: The Movie, Rashad Jennings at Hallmark Channel’s pop-up to get shelter pets adopted 

Page 10: Mark Wahlberg and Ellen producer Andy Lassner on treadmills, Jennifer Lopez, Brooke Burke does yoga at the Hyatt Ziva Cap Cana

Page 11: Denise Richards walks dogs from the Road Dogs and Rescue charity, Owen Wilson on a bike in NYC 

Page 12: Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick on The Graham Norton Show, James Van Der Beek at the Harlem Globetrotters 

Page 13: Jordan Kimball at Chippendales, Hayden Christensen on a slide 

Page 14: Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Justin Mikita in Beverly Hills, Brian Austin Green and Jane Seymour at the Open Hearts charity gala

Page 15: Deshaun Watson and girlfriend Jilly Anais in Miami, Victoria Beckham’s family sons Romeo and Cruz and daughter Harper and husband David Beckham at her fashion show in London 

Page 16: Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani with sons Zuma and Apollo at Kingston’s football game, Elisabeth Moss and director Leigh Whannell at the Invisible Man premiere, Lizzo at the Brit Awards 

Page 18: Reese Witherspoon shopping in L.A., Harry Styles greeted fans outside the BBC Radio studios, Chris Pratt headed to Jimmy Kimmel Live 

Page 19: Jennifer Hudson and movie dad Forest Whitaker film Respect, Ashley Greene and Paul Khoury in a three-wheeled Vanderhall Venice autocycle 

Page 20: Normal or Not? Dylan Sprouse pretends to attack a photographer after leaving a party in West Hollywood, Ginnifer Goodwin picks up packages in Encino

Page 22: Fashion -- Best of Awards Season -- Zoe Kravitz, Jennifer Aniston, Saoirse Ronan 

Page 23: Renee Zellweger, Olivia Wilde, Anne Hathaway 

Page 26: Scott Disick and Sofia Richie are over 

Page 27: Taylor Swift is relocating to boyfriend Joe Alwyn’s hometown London, Eva Mendes gushed that Ryan Gosling is an amazing chef and baker 

Page 28: Amanda Bynes’ announcement that she is engaged is more of a red flag than a reason to celebrate, John Cena rushing down the aisle with Shay Shariatzadeh and one of his motives might be to beat pregnant ex Nikki Bella, Chris Pratt shuns the Hollywood scene but wife Katherine Schwarzenegger is bored and is going to rev up her social life with him or without him 

Page 29: Justin Bieber wants a baby but wife Hailey Baldwin still wants to have fun and focus on her career, now that they’ve rekindled their romance Kylie Jenner suspects Travis Scott is going to propose so she’s drafting one of the strictest prenups in Hollywood history

Page 30: Cover Story -- Catherine Zeta-Jones leaves husband Michael Douglas just three weeks after the passing of his father Kirk Douglas 

Page 36: Ben Affleck opens up about the devastating impact his drinking had on his marriage to Jennifer Garner 

Page 38: Harry is putting on a good show but he is privately pining for the life he left behind 

Page 40: Mistress Mayhem -- they famously broke up marriages and relationships but did these affairs turn into fairy tales or media firestorms -- Duchess Camilla and Prince Charles and Princess Diana, Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders and Liberty Ross 

Page 41: Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder and Vera Steimberg 

Page 42: LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian and Brandi Glanville, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, Rachel Uchitel and Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren 

Page 43: Mildred Patricia Baena and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, Ryan Shawhughes and Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, Kayte Walsh and Kelsey Grammer and Camille Grammer 

Page 46: Style -- Fitness -- Olivia Culpo 

Page 48: Awards Season Bests -- Best Updo -- Lupita Nyong’o, Best Lengthy Locks -- Hailee Steinfeld, Best Hair Accessory -- Charlize Theron 

Page 49: Best Natural Look -- Dakota Fanning, Best Lips -- Margot Robbie, Best Eyes -- Lucy Boynton 

Page 50: Entertainment 

Page 52: Q&A with Joey Sasso of The Circle 

Page 60: Parting Shot -- Giada De Laurentiis on the beach 

[holy-fate-worse-than-death]

Red has a new chapter!

Chapter 12.5 is up :)

This fic is such a slow-burn and wow I’m sorry (but also I’m not even a little sorry)

Read the whole thing here

Preview under the cut>>

Archie Goodwin International Airport was located barely a ten-minute drive south of Wayne Manor, just across Mooney Bridge on the western mainland.

Before any other international mission, Tim would have stayed the night at the Manor and had Alfred drive him to the private airstrip Wayne Enterprises kept for their small fleet of private jets. When he’d suggested that to Arsenal, however, the redheaded archer had shifted uncomfortably from foot-to-foot and avoided looking Tim in the eye.

So instead they’d stayed the night in The Penthouse; a chic, minimalist suite on the top floor of Wayne Tower, complete with a view of the Atlantic, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and, of course, a private lift to an underground garage and bunker. Arsenal had let out a low whistle when they’d entered via said bunker, making no effort to hide how desperately he wanted to snoop around.

“B’s not here tonight,” Tim had said, his voice echoing off the concrete walls.

He swept across the long, narrow space, past several iterations of batmobiles and batcycles, and into the modest locker room. The space wasn’t anywhere near as sprawling as the Batcave or any of the League’s various hideouts, but Tim didn’t get the sense that Arsenal had spent much time in any of those.

Tim stripped out of his suit quickly and efficiently, undoing latches on armour panels and clasps on Kevlar with nimble, practiced hands. Part of Batman’s rigorous training had been timing how long it took to do a full costume change – from civilian attire to the vigilante get-up – and Tim had always joked about how it made him feel like an actor in a college stage production.

Arsenal undressed himself more lazily, though they finished at about the same time because the archer’s costume was simpler. He didn’t seem to have any hidden catches or booby-traps, no extra layer of non-conductive insulation under his Kevlar, or reinforced titanium panel over his heart. Hell, the redhead’s costume didn’t even have sleeves.

Not that Tim was complaining. There was definitely something charming about the faded stick-n-poke tattoos on his fellow ex-sidekick’s shoulders. The green one that said ‘POISON’ in sloppy, uneven letters, accompanied by a scorpion and an octopus with a skull for a head, drew Tim’s eye. Before he could consider his words, he found himself asking about it.

“What’s it mean?”

Arsenal hummed at him, raising one eyebrow as he threw a loose white t-shirt over his head that had been in the duffel he’d brought with him. Tim nodded at his shoulder as it disappeared under the fabric, and a hint of a smile tugged the corner of Arsenal’s mouth.

“I guess I thought it looked cool at the time,” he said with a shrug.

“You don’t think that anymore?” Tim pressed, hopping up and down a little as he struggled into a pair of too-tight skinny jeans.

They were fine around the waist once they got up there, but all the acrobatics he engaged in as Red Robin meant his thighs were disproportionately wide compared to the rest of his body. He’d lamented with Dick a hundred times about the issue as they changed in the locker rooms of the Batcave; apparently it was just a Robin thing.

Arsenal shrugged again, diverting his eyes. Tim couldn’t pinpoint the source of the behaviour; was it some sense of modesty because he felt uncomfortable watching Tim squeeze into his jeans, or was the topic uncomfortable? Tim was about to test the waters a little further, trying to decide the best tactic, when Arsenal continued.

“I don’t remember getting them,” the archer admitted.

“You don’t?” Tim asked immediately, almost stammering over the words as he imagined plucking them out of the air and shoving them guiltily back into his mouth.

Arsenal flinched, now shoving his feet into a pair of beat-up high-top Vans (red, of course).

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Tim began hurriedly.

“Forget about it, kid,” Roy snapped, suddenly sounding so much like Jason Todd.

He followed that with a great heaving sigh as he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. The sigh certainly wasn’t because of the bag’s weight.

Tim averted his gaze and braced himself to brush past Arsenal. The narrow space between the lockers meant that they could barely stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the room, and Tim didn’t feel much like asking Arsenal to move out of his way. He knew if he did he’d sound rude, and they were going to be stuck with each other for the next half a week at least. Instead, he steeled himself and shuffled past the taller man, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Tim thought Arsenal might have got the hint, but the redhead just stood there, forcing contact. Their forearms brushed, and Tim immediately felt all the hairs there stand up.

Tim hurriedly exited the room, Arsenal hot on his heels, and made a beeline for the elevator at the end of the bunker. They passed another batmobile – this one an as-yet unused prototype that Tim had been tooling around with whenever he stayed at The Penthouse. A more and more frequent occurrence, Tim thought. Not long after he’d ended things with Stephanie he’d realised just how much he’d come to rely on crashing at her apartment whenever he was in the city. Now instead of having a drawer in her bedroom dresser, he had a cupboard in one of The Penthouse’s guest rooms.

A faint ghost of regret wisped through his stomach, but it was gone as soon as it had come. It had been almost six months now since he and Steph had gone their separate ways, and his only real regret was that he still didn’t feel like he could reach out and repair their friendship yet; she wasn’t ready, and maybe he wasn’t either. Still, they ran into each other every once in a while, and sometimes one of them would make a joke that activated some nostalgia reflex deep in their brains, and they’d laugh together or exchange a knowing smile. Those moments faded just as soon as they came too, but Tim quietly hoped that pleasant familiarity would be the norm for them again one day.

He caught himself smiling at the thought, and reflexively stared down at his feet as though that would conceal his expression from Arsenal. The elevator had ascended halfway up the tower now, and there wasn’t much room to hide in the tiny metal box. He dug his hands into back pockets of his jeans because, truth be told, they didn’t fit in the front pockets.

Arsenal’s eyes followed Tim’s hands and he smirked as he asked, “What’ya thinkin’ about, Tee-bird?”

Tim, now in better spirits, found himself smiling wryly at the pet name. It wasn’t one of the many that Jason had given him over the years, so he figured Arsenal must have come up with it himself. He bit back the urge to make a snarky comment about the redhead’s originality, and instead just shook his head.

“Nothing important,” he muttered, as the elevator slowed to a perfectly smooth stop.

Arsenal didn’t bother to hide the way his jaw dropped open as they entered the open-plan living area of The Penthouse.

Directly opposite them, the far wall was made entirely of floor-to-ceiling glass panels, a few of which gave way to a small balcony and jacuzzi. Between them and the glass, though, was a wide-open living room. An enormous slate-grey rug made everything feel somehow warmer, despite all the furniture being either black leather or brushed steel. The couches all pointed towards the western wall, currently on their right, where an enormous home-cinema-size television took up the entire wall.

In the eastern corner, to their left, a generous kitchen with sleek, mostly untouched appliances and marble countertops hummed and sparkled. That was what Tim padded towards. He hadn’t bothered with shoes when he was downstairs because he was only going to take them off once he got up here anyway, and the kitchen’s polished tile floor was cool on the soles of his feet.

“No chandelier?” Arsenal called incredulously from behind him.

Though Tim knew the archer was joking, Tim had actually asked the same thing when Bruce had remodelled the place a few years ago. This isn’t the Manor, Bruce had said.

“This is where billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne brings his dates,” Tim called back with a laugh, repeating what Bruce had told him that day, “Not where he brings members of Gotham’s high society.”

Arsenal had just nodded, taking a seat at one of the bar stools on the outside of the kitchen’s large marble island. Tim was on the other side of it, hunting around in the fridge. Honestly, he wasn’t sure what to offer Arsenal, since he didn’t seem like a wine or scotch guy – and that was in the liquor cabinet anyway, not the fridge – and he also didn’t seem like a tea guy.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked pleasantly instead, orchestrating a cover story in his head for why the fridge was mostly stocked with apple juice and soda.

He was just deciding he’d say it was for Damian – or maybe Dick – when he heard Arsenal clear his throat.

“I don’t drink,” the archer stated firmly.

There was an edge in his voice, so Tim turned around. Sure enough, Arsenal’s hands were clenched into fists on the bench and his bright green eyes were looking anywhere but at Tim.

It occurred to him that this was the first time he’d ever really looked at Arsenal without his mask on. His eyes were the most terrifyingly bright shade of green Tim had ever seen, and everything from his orange hair to his crisp white shirt seemed to accentuate how pale he was. Under the bright downlights of the kitchen, Tim could see the generous dusting of freckles over his nose that extended out over his cheeks, as well as the tiny little whiskers on his chin that told him the guy probably wasn’t capable of growing more than a five o’clock shadow. Tim was the same, though Arsenal had a few years on him.

Tim wasn’t sure if what he said next was an attempt to lighten the mood or to try and bond with Arsenal, but he said it all the same.

“Good thing I’m the kid,” he said, emphasising the word Arsenal had called him earlier, “who has a fridge full of juice boxes and Red Bull then.”

He punctuated his attempt at humour by swinging the refrigerator door open dramatically to showcase the aforementioned contents.

Arsenal huffed out a laugh in response and asked Tim to chuck him a soda. Tim obliged, grabbing one for himself as well and setting them both down on the counter. He cracked his own with one hand and opened the drawer beside his hip with the other, retrieving a handful of takeout menus. He splayed them out across the counter in front of the archer.

“You’re the guest, Arsenal,” he said.

Arsenal rolled his eyes.

“It’s Roy,” he said.

**

Once again, you can read the whole fic here

[dear-indies]

Hi lovelies!! Hope you’re having a nice week! May I please ask for some alt fcs for Bree Kish? I love her, but I’m looking for someone who has acting resources, please? Thank you so much!! <3 :)

Sophia Nomvete (1990) Black South African and Iranian.

Lolly Adefope (1990) Yoruba Nigerian - has spoken up for Palestine!

Raven Goodwin (1992) African-American - has spoken up for Palestine!

Simone Recasner (1992) African-American / White.

Esmeralda Soto (1998) Mexican.

No gif pack resources:

Steph Tisdell (1990) Yidinji.

Bria Samoné Henderson (1992) African-American.

Raini Rodriguez (1993) Mexican.

Akshaya Naik (1995) Indian.

Keyla Monterroso Mejia (1998) Mexican.

Violet Nelson (2000) Kwakwakaʼwakw / Honduran.

Hey! To be honest the reason people (myself included) use fat social media stars is because noooooobody hires fat people. As a fatty, I'm hesitant on listening some of these because they're not my definition of plus-size but they're thicker than 99.99999999999% of Hollywood so I'm willing to start there. 💌

[mrevaunit42]

Robert

hmm okay R: forever Don't stop me now, E's national anthem O: my eyes do this really cool trick where it's dark brown from afar and light brown up close.B: Queen. and fallout boy. and Beatles. and. Gordon Goodwin. E: Steph who does not have a tumblr. R: also Ride on a shooting star by the pillows. T: with full beard, 30 without 19.

[nick723]

5 through 11 for Jimmy please

You are an angel thank you5 what is their favorite weapon? Jimmy likes his daggers he uses them the most but he prefers he's rapier it's got a fun style to it ya know6 if I could give him one magic item what and why? Just a +1 weapon please god damage resistance is the bane of my entire existence I hate it so much Steph always says your attack does less damage than you'd want it to when the have resistance and I always mime shooting myself but more interestingly there's this cloak that gives attacks against you disadvantage which would be good I really want a cloak of the bat but no one told me about the magic shop so Lilith got that first instead of the thing she went to get Jimmy would like something that lets him fly or a ring of invisibility something like that a weapon of warning would be grand as well7 if they didn't have to adventure would they stop? No or at least not yet Jimmy feels like he must be doing something he hates just sitting he can't do it when I was thinking maybe Jimmy was gonna split his plan was to still go work with Corina which idk if you'd call it adventure but I would8 what do they look for in a platonic or romantic partner? For both he wants someone who he can rely on and joke with, romantically it's important to him they have some sort of morality? Like not necessarily good or evil like a code I guess Lawfulness is actually attractive to him so are like Chaotic characters on crusade ya know he's a bit shallow someone pretty is a big plus he's gotta be able to trust them which sounds similar to relying on them but to Jimmy it isn't there are 4 people Jimmy has ever trusted and he only thinks three of them are still alive like he can rely on Lou and Goodwin to act in certain ways but he wouldn't trust them ya know Jimmy's fiddly with actual romantic attraction or attraction in a general sense the party went to a brothel once and the only reason he participated if you would is cause I rolled a d6 on my phone to determine how much he had to drink and I assumed someone had already paidThat's a really long answer9 do they trust easily? He's veeery slow to trust he still doesn't wholly trust Nammith but he's getting more fond of him he trusts Anwen enough that he'd say so if you asked and Lilith is close but Jimmy is still a bit put off10 what is their favorite Color? Dark green or blue I think, he wears black and silver just cause that's the assassin aesthetic11 Diplomatic or Aggressive? I'd say aggressive I guess like he tries diplomacy first at least a little but he's very quick to fall back to knives