#step off kids

[padawansuggest]

13 yo Obi-Wan: You guys are keeping me captive 🥺

Jaster: Ob’ika, we are bringing you back to the temple to reunite with your people.

Obi-Wan: 🥺 then why am I in a cage?

Jaster: *looks pointedly at Jango covered in bite marks, bandages and a torn kute*

Jango: Jas’Buir, he’s really cute, the bites didn’t even hurt 🥺

Obi-Wan: Yeah, I’m just making friends 🥺

Jaster: *soul deep sigh* I am not letting you out of the cell so you can maul my ad again.

Jango: Buuuir, he’s just an ad’ika, lookit his ik’aad fangs, he won’t actually hurt me!

Jaster: You we’re begging me to get his fangs out of your wrist five minutes ago.

Jango: He’s just teething!!

Jaster: Jan’ika, I know you want to keep him, but he’s not even house broken yet.

Jango: Neither was I when you adopted me!! He’s chosen me! Lemme keep him!

Obi-Wan: 🥺 I will be a good boy if you stick your fingers in my enclosure 🥺

Jaster: *physically holding Jango back* No. We will revisit this when the baar’ur has given him a Xanax omfg- *dragging Jango out of the ship hold*

[lunarrolls]

listen so closely to me i think liliana temult is a fascinating character and she’s really fun to examine morally but also nothing will ever come fucking close catharsis-wise to watching ashton and orym fucking cross examine her ass in episode 92. the sexiest shit i’ve ever seen “your worst fear is probably my worst fear, and i think we just got a little sample (my worst fear came true because you weren’t fast enough, what will you do when it’s her head on the line?)” and “keep wrestling (you must bear the weight of their deaths on your conscience and know it will never be enough for what you took from me)” like holy SHIT you guys

[filmbro-girlblogger]

oh god i want to bite him i want to sit on his lap while he looks up at me with those whore-ish pathetic needy eyes i want to look up at him from his bed as he slowly unbuttons his work shirt i wish to be his stress reliever after a long day of searching for the zodiac killer i want him to take all his frustrations out on me i want to hear him whine and beg to cum he’s so fucking pretty i just hghnhgghg

[amazingdeadfish]

(Explosion Noises)

[m1ssunderstanding]

People have probably already seen this because apparently it's been on YouTube for a week but I hadn't so here you go if you want! Spoilers (I guess) in the tags so for people that don't want to watch this sneak peak and ruin their movie experience, don't read my tags :)

[piecanl]

Do you think Tubbo would recognize the path Bad is going down, because it's one he's already walked down on?

This self-destructive behavior coming from a broken heart?

He hasn't seen Bad at his best, before the eggs got kidnapped. He's seen him a victim to grief more than a father. It's why the blue staining Bad's being isn't out of the ordinary.

But suddenly he starts carrying flowers to remind him of the love he lost, suddenly the void calls out his name even louder and suddenly Tubbo sees himself in the older demon.

And it's scary, because suddenly he sees what he has become, how it affects others.

And for the first time of many, he sees Bad walk down a road he's paved. For the first time of many, Bad is the one repeating Tubbo's mistakes.

[ash-and-starlight]

“im glad that at least one of us has maternal instincts” zhu when i fucking get you >:(((

[mando-abs]

Guys, I’ve read the Wild Robot

And let me tell you, if I hadn’t recently taken a Children’s Literature class in college, I would’ve said this was the best middle-grade book I’ve read since elementary/middle school. I almost read this book in one night (I was sleepy 😴) like I couldn’t put it down.

The heart behind this book is astounding and it never shies away from showing complex and difficult concepts. You will fall in love with Roz and her gosling son along with all of the other animal on the island.

If you’ve got younger ones, I highly recommend reading this to them or having a little book club moment with them. However, be prepared for whatever hard questions may come your way (i.e. circle of life and climate issues). You know your child and how much they can handle/understand. If you’re like me and much older, it’s a quick read and a great way to finish off a long day. It’s a part of a trilogy and you bet I’m patiently waiting for my hold on a copy at the library.

If the movie is anything like the book (which, given a rewatch of the trailer, it’s looking like so), we are in for a special treat.

[hercarisntyours]

who the FUCK made the executive decision to not give Elita fucking 1 a proper transformable toy; in the movie, WHERE SHE'S A MAIN CHARACTER.

[bitchthefuck1]

The thing that really kills me about Logan is that his kids are disappointing and ultimately unfit to be CEO, and it's not just that they're like that because he made them like that, but that they're like that because he wants them to be that way.

For all his talk about them being spoiled or coddled and his rant in the S3 finale that getting cut out of running Waystar is their chance to "be your own man" and build something themselves, he has spent the entire show actively undermining any attempt of theirs to do that. Shiv stays out and works in politics, but as soon as she joins a big campaign that could actually distinguish her from her family, he tells her he wants to make her CEO. He offers to buy Kendall out of his shares, but as soon as Kendall tries to take the offer and cut himself out, he refuses. He says he wants them out of the business and doing their own thing, and then as soon as they start actually doing that and buy Pierce, he tries to get Roman back.

The fact of the matter is that as much as he might claim to want a "real" heir, what he really wants is to never need one and for his children to stay children: incomplete, incapable, and under his thumb.

[cementcornfield]

this fucking dude.

[artemismoorea03]

DPxDC Prompt: The Child Who Was King

(For anybody who has read my DPxDC fics you might know that I'm a huge fan of the "Unaging Danny" headcanon and this was directly inspired by that)

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The team has already heard about Phantom in one way or another. Yes, the tyrant "Pariah Dark" had his name mentioned in some places but it was called the "Phantom Zone" for a reason. "Phantom Zone", "Land of the Dead", "Underworld", "Limbo" and countless other names are listed and describe the same place.

It also describes a King be it vicious or kind, old or young, a threat or a peace keeper. The stories are so varied that it's impossible for the League to know who to expect when they receive a mysterious sticky note which falls from the sky during the meeting.

Soon.

The entire League is on edge, not knowing what to think until some members (Zatana and Constantine) recognize the symbol on the paperwork from ancient texts. The Symbol of the God of Time. Zatana says that Time works close with the King of Death and is send to bend at his will and often sends warning messages like this to alert those who are required to know. While Constantine just wants to leave before things get to be any more of a headache.

Days turn into weeks.

Weeks into months.

Most of the team thinks it was a mistake but one member of the team stays particularly on edge because the paper fell in front of them specifically. It isn't until they're on patrol in their area that another note appears with an address and a time and when they arrive in the area they make it just in time for a green portal to open and somebody to fall out of it.

They react, years of training tell them to catch the figure and when they do they discover a child no older than 14 under weight, pale with black hair and blue eyes, bruises covering them. They're breathing heavily as the kid leans against the heroes chest fearfully, the cape seeming much larger than them.

The hero doesn't know what to think when one final note appears.

Due to reasons which can not yet be discussed King Phantom is not safe in the Land of the Dead, you are here by entrusted with his protection. If you fail all will be lost.

[swan2swan]

Keep your eyes on the road at all times.

[emily-mooon]

Hopping on the swap AU train with my personal favourite swap I’ve seen: Young Neil and Stacey.

[katiekatdragon27]

People sleeping on this hypothetical tbh.

Oh, First King you grump and unaware old fart. You have no idea how scary and cool you look to these kids <33

Notes n stuff below cut:

I get all the jokes about FK being a zombie and evil n stuff, but like, not really?? He's just the FIRST KING OF THE GLADE that's all. He's probably been unjustly necromanced into today's world when he was just chilling with being dead. He would be the last thing from evil. Maybe kinda rude to other species, but that's normal for older people.

Idk, I just want grandpas in the world who actually want to help care and raise the next generation (cuz peepaw Polokus is doing daedally-shit)

Since I'm self-indulgent and biased to my own ideas, I had this silly idea that when FK was resurrected, he and Markus (the name for the Grand Minumus always hanging with Rayman for me), got into some arguments about just general stuff regarding the Glade and it's management. It might've gotten violent, and this got FK banished to the Livid Dead for a couple years, hanging out in the upper levels with Romeo, Shadi, and Goth (kinda).

When Big Mama found him there, she quickly brought him back to the surface and showed the Fairy Council. Betilla is very conflicted about him being back (cuz daddy issues), but she makes a decree that nothing harmful shall be bestowed upon him. So, he can do whatever without being sent back down to the Livid Dead.

Now, onto the school-related parts:

FK has a had a liking for kids ever since he was known as Aurthr Grandur (shameless The Sacred Dream plug sorry-not-sorry). So, when he was allowed back into the royal ranks, he began basically being everyone's royal babysitter when he wasn't listening in on Fairy Council meetings. That's where someone proposed for him to be a teacher, to which he took up the offer.

History has a tendency to be kinda skewed in the Glade, often neglecting the stuff predating Rayman and the rise of the Limbless race along with every other group in the Glade. Stuff that FK went through first-hand. He was not really vibing with the lack of diversity in the schooling.

As the magic school's history teacher, he always makes an effort to share all kind of history, not just Rayman's. This consists of every kind of creature in the Glade and of course his own. He even talks about the fairies as "kids" on occasion too. He is very well-liked amongst his students of all ages. Also, he doesn't give homework and does live-acting demonstrations of certain events with crazy swordsmanship, so bonus points there.

Many adults were wary about what they thought to be a nightmare teaching their kids but grew to appreciate him more b/c of his old-school "fuck around and find out" methods of teaching and discipline. Kids got better when in his class, which was something not that seen prior to him.

And in the background, he tutors students that show an interest in hand-to-hand combat. He loves seeing younger people actually using sharp weapons and learning the powerful method of channeling magic. He's an actually good PE teacher, I always thought those weren't real

Here is his full drip:

Enjoy the essay and have a good one fellas ✌️✌️✌️✌️

[mod2amaryllis]

YOU.

IDIOT.