#stelena 1x11

[kiss-my-freckle]

This comment about Delena's first sex scene makes me laugh, claiming it felt more like frantic sexual tension than taking time to get to know and love the other's body. Elena never smiled as widely when having sex with Stefan as she did Damon in 4x7, 4x8, and 5x1. I love her smile in 4x7 since she's actually enjoying her body instead of feeling suicidal and viewing it as burden (Stelena's first sex soundtrack is about self harm) or a bargaining chip. Also I love the gentle first kiss when Damon is on top and the fact that he looks spellbound when she's on top and isn't insecure in his masculinity to not let her top. The way she kisses his arm is sweet as well. Also in their sex/kissing scenes they always make it a point to pause and look lovingly into each other's eyes. When Damon had sex when Rebekah they didn't do that since they weren't in love. They often hold hands in their sex scenes as well:

Elena was attracted to Damon, but the sex they had in 4x07 wasn't the same as Stelena's first love scene in 1x11. Delena's first sex scene was basically "let's finally fuck these feelings out" after a lot of sexual tension had built up (as well as "Let's see how many walls we can smack ourselves into" and "how much stuff we can break"), not "I want to take time to get to know you, know your body, and I want you to be comfortable with me" and about two people who love each other so passionately finally coming together. That is the difference. None of it felt like love. It just felt like "let's fuck our feelings out". She loved Stefan until Julie Plec wrote her own fanfic.

Uhm, they already know and love the others body. I know fans like to pretend they haven't seen each other half naked before, but they have. Elena takes a great moment at the motel in Denver to study every inch of Damon... literally from boots to face. Their 4x7 sex plays out as it does because Elena has a season of pent-up sexual energy for Damon. While fans may feel it's rushed, it's not. They're literally picking up where they left off in 3x19. I've put this to gif before because every Delena sex scene tells a story just like every dance they have. Delena is allowed to sex how they want because they spent 3 seasons building what they have, and fans can trust what they have is quite powerful. They're written to be unbreakable by anything. That's why I love Caroline's line in 2x22. "So basically it's like Atlanta has burned. And yet, in spite of everything, we persevere." It's all Delena.

[zalrb]

stefan was kinda lovebombing elena in 1x11 after she found out she was adopted and looked like katherine to manipulate her into being with him bc she was mad? also the way he said elena makes him forget who he is like hes using her to make him feel better about himself. these are just fan theories and i want to know your thoughts. btw im a stelena and the theories above were both written by delenas

masterlist.

[gilbertstelena]

[itachi86]

stefan basically tells elena he stalked her after saving her and she just is fine with that?

[piperslovebot]

@misschanadlerbong

STELENA FOREVER MEME ♥ 8 happy scenes [2/8]

[annoyingvoidzombie]

Stelena fans: 8 Years ago Stefan and Elena slept together for the first time!

Delena fans: 8 Years ago, Damon took Elena to their first road trip to Georgia!

Me: 8 Years ago was the 11th episode of the amazing show, that I will love FORVER ❤️

[userlaylivia]

In reference to this post..

https://addys-beth.tumblr.com/post/692518862305067008/maisiewilliams-how-about-we-do-that-thing-where

Please give all your opinions about TVD! I’m dying to know!

my favorite female character: elena, caroline

my favorite male character: damon, tyler

my favorite book/season: s2!

my favorite episode (if it's a tv show): 1x11, 1x14, 1x17, 1x19, 1x22, 2x01, 2x04, 2x07, 2x08, 2x18, 2x21, 2x22 and SOOOO many more lol

my favorite cast member: nina dobrev, candice king

my favorite ship: damon/elena but I also shipped steroline, forwood, bonenzo, maroline, jeranna!

a character I'd die defending: elena!!!!

a character I just can't sympathize with: john

a character I grew to love: caroline, at the start I was indifferent to her but she really grew on me and is now tied with elena as my favorite!!

my anti otp: klaroline, stelena, bamon

[simplylove101]

Delena

1) when they first intrigued me

Another case where it was the first scene I think. By this point, I was still just giving this show a chance. I wasn’t shipping her & Stefan. The other characters were interesting but Damon adding his chaos made it obviously more interesting. I didn’t ship it right away since it’s not like there was much to the scene but yeah, when Delena meet for what we assumed for the first time in S1. With how they were painting Damon early on, cuz let’s be honest dude wasn’t great, there was a lot of room left for them to grow before they could be romantic. That intrigued me cuz I wanted a slow burn. Also, the hand kiss & him admitting she has spunk. I was a Spike girl when it came to Buffy & a Eric girl when it came to True Blood so I guess it was inevitable. The “bad boy” vampire always seems to catch my eye first.

Scene

2) when I started to ‘ship’ them 

I feel 1x03 was an episode that did a pretty good job setting up the Delena dynamic that we would come to know. During this time, Damon is being the absolute worst to Caroline. I know he was. That didn’t stop me from seeing the connection Delena were starting to form. The kitchen scene where they’re talking about Katherine has a moment where Elena says that she’s sorry, that he lost her too & you can see Damon is kinda taken aback that someone actually cares about his pain. By this point, Damon was already amusing me but now I was starting to care about him too because of this moment. And then you have the scene later where he tried to compel her. When she smacked him & told him to go to hell, I was speechless. Them showing this spunk that Damon spoke of. Going forward was the start of what one can only call the Delena snark. And then the last scene is one of those great ironies - Stefan saying Damon has no humanity while we the audience see Damon at Elena’s watching her sleep & stroking her face. It might have come off creepy to people but it shows that he was fascinated by her. Beyond her looking like Katherine. That’s when I really let myself admit I was ready to ship.

Scene #1

Scene #2

3) when I knew they were OTP status (as in there was literally no other ship for them I would want)

Now I’m kinda cheating here by giving two answers. lol First, by 1x11 it was obvious for me that Delena was my ship. I still hadn’t warmed up to Stelena. They had felt rushed to me. At least to being this epic love we were expected to believe by 1x10. Which is why when we got this goldmine of an ep of a Delena road trip (which ended becoming one of my fave tropes of theirs) I was ecstatic. The chemistry was there at all times. Drunk Elena was fun.I loved that episode so much. But the episode that really sealed the deal was 1x14. It gave us two of the most iconic early Delena scenes: the “I wanted it to be real” one & the hug. This episode is centered around him getting Katherine back but it’s also the start of him starting to let her go as well. His connection with Elena was growing. 

Scene #1

Scene #2

4) Favorite quote

“I somehow always find my way back to you” Honestly there were so many other quotes I thought of before deciding on this one. Lauren pointed this scene out to me & you know this quote really suits them. She really was always finding her way back to him. :’)

Scene

5) Favorite scene

Oh man, this is a hard one. I think I’m gonna go with a scene though that is purely because everything about it was perfect. Their last dance. Everything about it is just beautiful. The two of them dancing so elegantly while the song Hunger by Ross Copperman plays (god I love that song) where they first met. This could have been so cheesy but they did it so beautifully. I can’t with that editing.

Scene

6) Scene that made me cry

Okay, this is the scene I thought of first when I say cry. The Season 5 finale where Elena finds out Damon is dead & stuck on The Other Side. I was crying my eyes out. At the time, it felt so final. Like they weren’t gonna be able to get him back & his goodbye to Elena hurt. She had that ugly cry going on. Nina wasn’t holding back. And well I didn’t watch any of S6 when it was going on so I guess you could say the show scarred me a little. lol

Scene

7) Scene that pissed me off

Oh man, where do we start with these two? Okay, in the season 3 finale when Elena calls Damon to tell him she’s going to Stefan. Which broke Damon’s heart & once again made him have the “it’s always gonna be Stefan” mantra drilled into him again. All while we know he’s actually the one she met first. But also the fact that they made Elena forget who Damon was. I get she was hurting but my goodness, why did the writers have to go there? I feel like there’s more obvious ones I’m not thinking of but honestly, these two were a roller coaster.

Scene #1

Scene #2

8) Favorite underrated moment

Hmmm.. I have so many with these two. A lot of them in the earlier seasons that I remember better. Like Elena being the one to get Damon out of the tomb just by calling his name & he listened. Another moment was when Elena declared she was in love with Damon to everyone when Rebekah compelled. I’m sorry but when everyone was shouting “SIRE BOND” when Delena got together I was like “Ughh” and then this moment happened & it was confirmed that uh, no she chose to be with Damon. She fell in love with him. Haters to the left. lol

Scene #1

Scene #2

https://twitter.com/WoahDeIena/status/829825491053993984 also this is a lovely thread everyone needs to check out  lol

9) Song that makes me think of them

Of their songs, Never Let Me Go always & forever because that hotel kiss was so beautiful & All I Need because I can’t not think of their iconic S1 dance. But a song I wanted to vid them to once upon a time was More Than I Could Say by Civil Sound. It just fits them from Damon’s pov. It’s also incredibly beautiful.

Scene #1

Scene #2

More Than I Could Say

10) Favorite video of them

This is so beautiful with so many parallels!!!

[jamescarstairs]

Stelena Forever Meme || [7/10] Hugs or Kisses

↳ 1x11: Bloodlines

[kiss-my-freckle]

Elena's conversation with Matt in 3x16 about reasons why she continued dating Stefan reminded me of Stefan's manipulative conversation in 1x11 where he dragged her family. Many Stelena fans say Stefan lying to Elena about Katherine is a nonissue because Elena kissed his constipated face after.

Stefan lying about Katherine was a huge issue. That's why Damon kept name dropping Katherine since the moment he and Elena met. He not only wanted her to know they're vampires. He wanted her to know she's a Katherine carbon copy. Just look at his comments to Elena. Everything out of his mouth has an alternate meaning, and geared to push her into questioning Stefan for the sake of their truth. He thinks Elena should know she's a mirror image of a vampire named Katherine now rather than later because he's fully prepared to rescue Katherine from the tomb lol. It was enough of an issue that Elena quite literally asked Damon if Stefan was using her to replace Katherine. And he is. Elena can kiss his constipated face all she wants, Stefan is still lying to her about Katherine. That's how Stefan's lies work. She still doesn't understand what Stefan means when he tells her she's the opposite of everything Katherine was. He's quite literally talking about the whole vampire vs human of it all. He loves Elena because she's human. He finally has the human girl he thought Katherine was. The very Katherine he fell in love with. He's using human Elena to replace human Katherine after Elena just asked Damon if he was using her to replace Katherine. When I say Stefan lying about Katherine was a huge issue, trust I mean it. That's why it continues. In 2x5, Elena asks him how he can hate Katherine and be in love with her. She still has no idea he hates Katherine because she's a vampire and loves her because she's human. This continues into season 4 because that's when she feels the difference for herself. He's treating her like a broken toy. A problem to be fixed. She KNOWS he doesn't love her as a vampire. That's why she has that portion of Katherine while suffering the hunters curse. She's been carrying that question around with her since 1x11, since that moment she found out she was a carbon copy. That's not Katherine in her head, that's Elena's own subconscious. She doesn't need to hear it from Stefan's mouth to feel that he hates her because she's a vampire. She doesn't need to hear it from Damon's mouth to feel that he loves her either way. Silence when Elena confronts Stefan. "You don't have to love me like this." Because he can't love her as a vampire.

"I look at you, and I see an angel."

"Your face, it was like a demon."

These comments show the importance of Katherine's photo. You'll know why Elena was meant to see it. Why Katherine's face and Elena's necklace are shown in one shot. Why Elena literally dresses up like Katherine in 1x22. Human Katherine. Not the demon face, the angel face. Caroline is the ONLY vampire Stefan ever loved. Damon has no dialogues like this for a reason.

[zalrb]

so the ferris wheel is obviously one of their most cherished moments together but what would you guess were the other 4, if stefan and elena had 5 most meaningful, impactful memories with eachother?

ooh i was asked this before except anon said one other memory so let’s see

1. blood share 

Elena not only gives him her blood to drink but reaffirms how she’s not leaving his side no matter what. And when Stefan drinks and Elena sees his veined face, she has enough faith in his love for her, her love for him, their commitment to each other for her to kiss him to settle his ripper urges and it works.

2. their first meet

i mean obviously officially meeting each other is going to be something that they remember but i do think they cherish the actual bump-into-each other-how-it-all-began aspect, there’s a certain “the beginning of a legendary love story” feel around it where like everyone knows how elena met stefan

3. their first time

i mean, duh, but particularly

4. may 23, 2009

because really, they are each other’s miracles. this: “In my mind, Elena’s parents are dead. It was a human accident, and a human tragedy, and as we know, the night that Stefan pulled her out of the water and saved her life. That was kind of the beginning of their love story” makes sense.

[hellyeahstelena]

Can you do a gif set of stelena in his bed after their love scene in 1x10?

hey please look in the 1x11 tag, there already are gifsets of this scene :) (tagged/111)-natalie

[kiss-my-freckle]

The sum of 1x11 to 1x13.

The impact Stelena's betrayal had on Damon is the reason Elena gets kidnapped. It's her chance to see things as they are and make it right. Stefan is an ass for pulling her into his betrayal because he knew what he was doing.

"Because he can be very persuasive."

"And you two have bonded lately."

"There must be a shred of humanity left inside my brother. Somewhere. I keep hoping."

"But how do I make him see it? And how do I protect her?"

"Or I could just... eat her."

"No. You're not gonna hurt her, Damon."

"Because deep down inside, there is a part of you that feels for her."

"I was worried that you had no humanity left inside of you. That you may have actually become the monster that you pretend to be."

"Who's pretending?"

"Katherine is dead. And you hate me because you loved her, and you torture me because you still do. And that, my brother, is your humanity."

"If that's my humanity... then what's this?"

"There's nothing human left in Damon. No good. No kindness. No love. Only a monster who must be stopped."

Oh up, down, turn around Please don't let me hit the ground Tonight, I think I'll walk alone Find my soul as I go home

I knew 1x3 was an overlay to 1x13 because of Damon's comment in 1x12. "Let the games begin." Elena takes the role of Coach Tanner. "Salvatore! What the hell? We've got a game to play!" There's also his comment to Alaric. "Ah, the uh, cursed faculty position."

[kiss-my-freckle]

Relationships take two people. Because they take two, fans have to recognize the duality to understand how Damon and Stefan torment each other. 1x11 to 1x14 is written a certain way. They even contain a huge deal of parallels. The duality in 1x11 begins with Damon's reason for taking Elena to Atlanta.

Damon wants to piss off Stefan: "And I knew it would piss off Stefan." Damon wants to enjoy Elena's company: "And you're not the worst company in the world, Elena."

This duality continues at Bree's bar. Understand that he is both gloating and caring.

With Elena, he's caring: "Don't pretend to care." With Stefan, he's gloating: "I know you're gloating inside."

This duality is the reason Delena has their necklace scene in 1x14. Elena had to differentiate herself from Stefan, and she does this through Damon's emotions.

With Stefan, he's angry: "Yeah, and then we double crossed him. So now he's angry." With Elena, he's hurt: "He's hurt. There's a difference."

Important in the fact that hurt requires care.

So when Elena confronts Damon in 1x14, she's accepting the reality that Damon cared about her in 1x11. And because he cared about her, her betrayal hurt him.

Hurt by Elena: "And I know that my betrayal hurt you" Angered by Stefan: "different from how it is with you and Stefan"

Their 1864 roles give their parallels. Stefan takes on Giuseppe's role. Elena takes on Stefan's role. Understand this, you'll see how Stefan manipulated Elena no different than Giuseppe manipulated Stefan. Elena basically picks up where Stefan left off in 1864. She helps Damon open the tomb to rescue Katherine... and actually walks in with him for the sake of it.

If you want Elena's "shame" parallel, just watch Stefan's flashbacks, you'll see it in Stefan. Elena being in parallel with 1864 Stefan, she took on the role of blindly drinking vervain. Note her scene with Damon in 1x13, to which she believes he's compelling her. Stefan being in parallel with Giuseppe, he took on the role of killing Katherine... and kills Katherine when he takes her to hell. Stefan taking on his father's 1864 role makes Stelena look gross af.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Stelena breakups

Season One

" We met and we talked and it was epic, but... then the sun came up and reality set in. So..."

If I'm to get technical, they break up before they even start seeing each other because Elena can't handle the idea of dating him. In 1x2, they shared a scene where Stefan's jealousy was extreme, and she felt it. "Raging family issues" is her chosen term for Stefan's jealousy of Damon. By the end of the episode, they're considered a couple since they're actually kissing.

"I met a girl. We talked. It was epic. But then the sun came up and reality set in. Well, this is reality. Right here."

"Well, then, say something about yourself. Anything. Otherwise, I'm left with nothing but what other people tell me."

Damon plays the wedge in 1x4, so Stelena has a short-lived breakup. She quite literally leaves him on the dance floor because she can't date someone who lives in secrecy. This breakup continues into 1x5, then they revert to having a dinner date.

"Well, I figure if you're going to dump me, you should at least, um… know who you're dumping."

"I gave you today just like you asked. And I understand that you would never do anything to hurt me, and I promise I will keep your secret, but... I can't be with you, Stefan. I'm sorry. I... I just can't..."

They have another short-lived breakup in 1x6. This is due to her learning of Stefan's vampirism. It's short-lived because she fell in love with him prior to learning of his vampirism. That's why I often tell fans that he manipulated her into a relationship. Because he did. Having her fall in love with him while pretending to be human, the girl is then left with a choice once she finds out he's a vampire. He did this, all-knowing that she just LOST both of her parents, so he knew it was more likely she'd continue to be with him rather than opt to break up. That's the reality of Stefan.

"Because I don't want it to be like this. I don't wanna feel like this. But I can't. With everything that's happened... I can't LOSE the way I feel about you."

"Coming home was... it was a mistake. I can't be a part of your life anymore."

Another short-lived breakup in 1x9. Because a person planning to leave town is a person ending the relationship. This continues into 1x10, then they revert to having sex.

"If you walk away, it's for you. Because I know what I want. Stefan, I love you."

"Elena. It's Stefan. I know that this picture must have confused you. But I can explain. I need to explain. So, please, when you get this, call me."

Another short-lived breakup in 1x10. Written complete opposite Delena in season 5. Rather than a sex scene following a breakup, they have a breakup following a sex scene. And I do consider this a breakup since she quite literally leaves behind the necklace he gave her. She wanted nothing to do with him. They're back together by the end of 1x11.

"You said no more lies. Only the truth. I can handle the truth, Stefan. As crazy as it is, I can handle the fact that you are a vampire. And that you have a vampire brother. And that my best friend is a witch. I can accept the fact that the world is a much more mysterious place than I ever thought possible. But this... this lie, I cannot take. What am I to you? Who am I to you?"

Mind you, Damon name-dropped Katherine as much as he did through the first 5 episodes because he wanted Elena to know everything. Not just the truth about their vampirism, but the fact that she looks exactly like Katherine.

"I'm sorry, Elena. No more. After what I've done, it has to end. I just want it over."

If Stelena fans are to believe Stefan is suicidal, then I'd consider 1x20 another short-lived breakup because death would end their relationship.

"But what I do know... is that you can take this, throw it in the quarry, and let the sun rise. Or you could take this ring and put it on and keep fighting."

That's 6 breakups in season one, though two of them are debatable. While I disregard 1x20 because I don't believe Stefan was suicidal, I do include 1x2 because he and Elena were romantically interested in each other. For me, it's a total of 5 breakups. Even if I completely disregard both debatable breakups, they've already surpassed Delena's number of breakups.

Season Two

"The only way Katherine is gonna believe it is if everybody believes it. That's the best way to make her think she's getting what she wants."

Stelena pulls a fake breakup in 2x4 for the sake of pleasing Katherine. They're still seeing each other in secret.

"I've been so selfish because I love you so much and I know how much you love me. But it's over. Stefan, it has to be."

This backfires when Katherine finds out, which leads to Stelena's real breakup in 2x6. While I'm here, I'd like to point out Elena admitting her own selfishness prior to becoming a vampire. Damon didn't make her selfish, she was always that way. It simply was the wrong time for her to be selfish.

"I want to be with you, Stefan. You know that. But first, I need to wake up and know that the people that I love are safe. I need to feel safe. Do you understand?"

Stefan thinks getting Katherine under control is enough to repair his relationship with Elena, but their breakup continues in 2x7 due to safety reasons. I consider this one breakup. The whole fake fighting storyline is absurdly childish to me. Total high school shit. You can take this storyline and overlay it to season 3. If they couldn't hide from Katherine, what made them think they could hide from Klaus?

Death would end their relationship, and unlike Stefan in 1x20, I believe Elena is being real with her suicidal tendencies. That's why I'd list her for two breakups in season 2.

"What are you doing? If Klaus knows that you're alive, he'll find you and he'll kill you. Which is exactly what you wanted all along. So this whole charade is some suicide mission so that you could sacrifice yourself and save everyone else?"

The first breakup being that of her first attempt to self-sacrifice. This happens in 2x10.

"You know, you guys want me to fight... fine, I'll fight. But if we're gonna do this, you can't keep anything from me anymore. From this moment on, we're doing it my way."

In 2x15, Stefan uses Lexi to push Elena to fight, which she does for all but two episodes.

"I understand why you did what you did. Klaus was fooled and Bonnie's alive. But let's get one thing straight, Damon. Bonnie will not die for me. I will not let that happen."

Because she's unwilling to lose Bonnie, Elena returns to her initial choice to self-sacrifice in 2x17. I consider Elena's reaffirming her choice and the playout of that choice to be one breakup. Fans can easily argue Elena's initial choice, thus making it one breakup instead of two. I'll continue to count it as two despite how short-lived the first.

"Damon's okay. Where R U?"

Like 1x10, Stefan's choice to leave town with Klaus is a straight-up breakup. That's what he does in 2x22, and he does it to protect Elena... not to save Damon. He already saved Damon.

That's 4 breakups in season two, though one of them is debatable. I do include both of Elena's choices to self-sacrifice, so for me, it's a total of 4 breakups. That puts my total count thus far at 9 breakups.

Seasons Three and Four

Seasons 3 and 4 are a bit complicated, but easy to simplify. They're only complicated because Stefan refuses to let Elena go and Elena is terrified of admitting her feelings for Damon.

"Damon's okay. Where R U?"

Stefan breaks up with Elena in 3x3, which I feel only solidifies his breakup in 2x22. 2x22 was his silent breakup, 3x3 was his verbal breakup.

"I don't want to see you. I don't want to be with you. I just want you to go."

"I stole it back for you."

Elena follows suit in 3x5 with her un-fall. Consider it her silent breakup, like Stefan not saying goodbye in 2x22. I've posted a collage in this section to further explain. In 1x11, their breakup was temporary. In 3x5, it's permanent. What you get in season 3 is the exact same thing in season 1 - Stefan trying to stop Damon and Elena from happening, only he's trying to stop their romance. In season one, he was trying to stop their friendship. You then get the same tactics of manipulation, which Stefan pulls off in 3x14. Consider this collage as Atlanta part 2. Part 2 for the Delena romance. That necklace became Damon's at the end of 3x5. Understand that 3x5 is written opposite 3x1. The necklace found in 3x1. The necklace stolen in 3x5.

"Stefan. Forget it. Um-we-we can talk later."

In 3x22, Elena attempts her verbal breakup much like Stefan's in 3x3. She opts to wait until later to break up with him because Stefan is planning to face Vampire Alaric.

This is where things get complicated. The Stelena split can be viewed two ways. One huge breakup or two separate breakups. I view them as two separate breakups because even though Elena was lying in her relationship with Stefan, she continued her relationship with Stefan. It's because she was lying in her relationship with Stefan that fans can actually view 3x22 as Delena's first breakup. Because it technically is, and the breakup is forced by Vampire Alaric.

"Stefan. Forget it. Um-we-we can talk later."

So... 4x6 is Stelena's second breakup. Elena basically follows-up to her promise in 3x22.

"Stefan, why did you send Damon to come look for me instead of you?"

"But I am not sorry that I'm in love with you. I love you, Damon."

Because Stefan refuses to accept Elena's truth, still refuses to let her go, the final breakup happens in 4x23. I don't consider this a separate breakup, but Stefan's necessary realization. He knew all along that he lost Elena when he left town with Klaus, he just wasn't wiling to accept it.

How fans choose to tally the breakups in season 4 depends on how they view things. Because I consider verbal no different than non-verbal, I disregard Stefan's breakup in 3x3 because he simply confirmed 2x22. Even though I consider verbal no different than non-verbal, I have to separate Elena's verbal and non-verbal because she lied to both brothers and continued a relationship with Stefan. It's for that reason alone that I count two Stelena breakups. I disregard 4x23 because that's just a matter of Stefan being a possessive and very controlling pos. So in seasons 3 and 4, it's a total of two breakups for me.

11 breakups for Stelena. Even if I consider 3x22 Delena's first breakup, and I would, that only puts them at four breakups. That's 7 breakups less than Stelena.

'

[kiss-my-freckle]

People often criticize Damon for abusing Andie but I see Stefan's abuse of Elena on the same level. A difference is that Andie was an adult when she got involved with Damon while Elena was 17 when she was with Stefan. Damon compelled Andie to not be afraid of his vampirism and insisted that she was safe with him, while Stefan manipulated Elena to not be afraid of him and groomed her as he'd stalked her for months and started dating her before she found out he was a vampire. He would use her personal issues to against her when she was uncomfortable about dating him, like in 1x11, which reminds me of how underage people from broken homes get targeted. He had her think that he would never hurt her, with her echoing that sentiment herself and lied to her about not having seriously lost control before in 1x18. If she knew of his ripper past, vampirism, age, etc. she probably wouldn't have gone on with him. I don't see how what Katherine did to him was worse than what he did to Elena since she was underage. I think Stefan grew to care more about Elena than Katherine did him, but even in Katherine's case she was willing to risk her life and deal with Klaus in 3x09, but that still doesn't excuse the way she treated him so Stefan shouldn't be excused either. Even though Stefan claims to care about following the rules, their relationship being illegal was of no issue to him. People say Stefan having a relationship with Elena despite her not being consenting age is not an issue because it's a fantasy based show but they selectively apply morals on to the characters they don't like. Morals are still morals at the end of the day. Damon was selfish and wrong that while he did also care about Andie he used her as his unofficial therapist and Rose replacement without putting in good effort to create a relationship of mutual trust, and claiming she would be safe with him even though he was at a significant low with his vampirism and mental issues after Rose's death. Likewise Stefan had his own issues and minimized or totally lied to Elena and he swept it under a rug because he wanted to use her as a distraction from it. Damon did not tell Andie to date him just as Stefan didn't tell Elena to date him, so I don't see how the situation is much different. I find it concerning how Stelena is super romanticized in comparison. People come out with pitchforks when Stefan is criticized in this manner, even though he abused many women in several different ways, which makes it clear to me that their priority is shipping and not actual abuse. It's gross how they harass actual people (many of whom are abuse victims themselves) for saying he's as bad as Damon when it comes to this behavior. What are your thoughts?

Damon stopped abusing Andie in the second season. I see the shift in him, even in that scene when he threatens to kill her. As violent as he is when he throws her to the floor, he's doing it for the sake of saving her life. He knows himself that well. When I get to that scene, I'll gif it side-by-side with one of his other scenes to show it. Stefan is worse than Damon, fans simply choose to ignore it or excuse it.

I say the same of their rape claims as I say of their abuse claims. if Damon is a rapist, they all are. That's what being a predator means. The writers have repeated this over and over in written character dialogues. Stefan is no different with women. Katherine and Caroline are no different with men. I could gif Damon and Caroline in parallel with each other because vampires are vampires.