#stealing my blueberry bagels all the damn time

[mixedbag-o-beans]

so my dead best friend had the weirdest fucking cooking habits. she could make curry like a god and cut up bell peppers in one piece like she was on chopped. but she was also known to eat moldy food and open any old canned food, heat it up, and just eat it straight out of the pan. i’m not talking soup, deadass a can of tomatoes, no seasoning or anything, just down the hatch. this happened several times.

last night we had a little memorial for the anniversary of her passing and i decided i was gonna eat a can of tomatoes straight out of the pan in her honor. tell me why it genuinely SLAPPED. i’ve been giving her shit for this for years and it’s actually good as fuck

[abiteofnat]

AVOCADON’T EVEN TELL ME ABOUT WHERE THERE IS GOOD GUAC… 

Because last month in six days I ate Mexican food for dinner six times. That’s right, every single dinner somehow started with a big ole basket of tortilla chips and ended with greasy fingers and 3-6 tacos in my stomach.  I think at one point I just began to expect that my night would end in rice and corn tortillas, and then it just kept happening…

Is this anywhere near a complaint? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Mexican is in my top three favorite categories of food, the other two being Italian and Mediterranean (but bagels always, always coming in first above all), and so I tend to be a harsh critic. There’s also different types of Mexican food: the traditional, authentic type that’s hard to find but life changing when you do, the 3 a.m. places that are the real reason we even go out in the first place so we can end up in front of a chimichanga of shame after a somewhat irritating house party, and then the nearly authentic kind that has a dash of flair added. I LOVE ‘EM ALL. Most of these will be a mix of the first and last kind, as everyone who knows me knows the only 3 a.m. place I frequent is Allende Restaurant even though everyone else is a Taco Burrito Palace bitch. That Allende rice and white tile walls; nothing will comfort you and your premature hangover quite like it. When your friend is crying over that fuckboy and your friend’s friend drank about six beers too many? Take them to Allende! Can’t cry when you’re choking on horchata! 

I haven’t done a good taco roundup in a while and for a city that loovvesss margaritas as much as Chicago does it’s about time. How can I even write this after being up to my ears in salsa verde without wanting to throw up? IT WAS ALL JUST THAT GOOD. I’m living vicariously through my own memories from the past week and I am legitimately excited to write about these tacos.  

HERE WE GO. 

1. Adobo Grill 

On any given menu, there’s about 10% of things I have no interest in eating. Add on the 80% I can’t actually eat due to being vegetarian, and that leaves 10% of a menu that is up for grabs. The fact that the happy hour taco offered the night we went to Adobo Grill was one of the most astounding tacos I’ve ever had literally blows my mind- what! are! the! odds! For $2 a piece you could assume that it’s going to be chicken, beef, or some odd mixture because at Adobo the taco platters come in sets of three tacos with rice and beans for $15-19 so why would they give the good stuff for cheap… AND INSTEAD IT WAS A LUCIOUS FISH TACO, GRILLED TO GOLDEN PERFECTION. Topped with pico de gallo and spicy mayo sauce? Add in some of their fresh to death guac and a little spicy red salsa? It was almost tooooo good. The single corn tortilla held up beautifully against the moist, meaty fish and they did not skimp on anything even though it was 5:30 p.m. and happy hour drinks were flowing and the restaurant could have really taken advantage of that. These tacos have not left my mind, or my heart… 

Another thing so wonderful about this place: the patio! It’s open and covered in tasteful twinkle lights, with the giant mural (pictured) of a happy skeleton man a and some flowers that play off the orange and purple hues of the decor. To sit outside right across from Second City (great date night all in one city block!) and sip a Modelo pretty much means fucking euphoria, and then add in guac that actually tastes like guac and not avocado slime? KABOOM. As much as I want to say all guac is good guac Adobo puts a lot of places to shame (cough cough Chipotle how the frick is that shit celebrated so widely) and gives you a TON of incredible guac for $9. Chip score: 8/10. Guac score: 10/10. Vibes: 10/10. 

Insider scoop: Go for happy hour until 6 p.m., splurge for guac, add the salsa to everything, and order a side of plantains with sour cream. Never had plantains before? This is the perfect place to just trust the food blogger and go for it because you will DIE OVER THEM. 

2. Big Star

BIG STAR IS MY KING, QUEEN, AND THE ENTIRE KINGDOM. If you live in Chicago, and it is above freeze-my-nuts-off temperature, it is patio weather and any restaurant that puts 2 chairs and a table out front will be considered a patio destination. Like Adobo (but even better) Big Star goes above and beyond as it’s a mainly-patio restaurant, with bulb lights lights above every stainless steel table and the warmest, most inviting outdoor seating there is once the sun goes down. You can watch the people, see some street art, watch the Blue Line zoom by, and walk to Stan’s Donuts for a wide array of treats afterward (aka a blueberry cheese danish, YUMBO). 

Located in Wicker Park, a very artsy n’ cute section of Chicago that’s a bit more on the ~trendy~ side since lots of blogged about restaurants have opened up, Big Star offers tacos a la carte and the best chips and guacamole on that side of the highway. I have gone for the past two years close to my birthday to celebrate because the pitchers are insanely alcoholic and also delicious, serving about 6 glasses in each pitcher. With one marg being $9 and a pitcher being $36, it is an absolute steal and even if only two people are at the table it is worth the high price tag. Best part is that the pitcher comes with a wooden ladle which adds to the vibe of Big Star, but is also hilarious to stir your vat of tequila and juice with. Like witch’s potion, but probably even more dangerous! 

Once everyone is seated and with drink, it’s time for the poor waiter to scream over everyone to take the order. While Big Star is mostly outside, it’s verryyyyy loud due to the sheer amount of people and the music pumping from the inside section that leaves the doors/ windows wide open. We were seated near the window and with a group of ten, it was one of those nights that leaves your voice hoarse and your ears ringing but feeling like you had a good as heck time! My favorite vegetarian tacos are the:

- Taco de Zananhorias: try ordering that when you do not speak Spanish and are two margs deep! This taco is the best yet overlooked one on the menu, featuring spiced cooked carrots that are savory and still have a crunch to them, pumpkin seeds for flavor and texture, and an incredible spicy date & yogurt dressing that offers a chipotle kick to offset the sweetness of the carrots and the dates. Wrapped in a corn tortilla, this taco is actually a filling veggie taco that doesn’t just taste like red peppers topped in guac! Which is like 99% of most vegetarian tacos! The flavors in this are worth more than $2.50 a pop, which is what it will cost you. 

- Taco de Pescado: Your typical and delicious fried tilapia taco! Beer battered and with the expected crunch of cabbage, top with some line for a perfect fish taco. This is a good standby if you’re weary of the more creative ones. 

- THE WALKING TACO: Most of the table ordered this one! It’s a DAMN fever dream to eat! Let me preface by saying honey BBQ twist Fritos are my most coveted, most guilty snack that I find myself eating far too often and usually when I’m having a flip off the universe and treat yourself moment. So take the trusted, panty-dropping crunch of the Frito and then add buffalo sauce, beans, cheese, crema, and cilantro? STILL IN THE SNACK SIZE FRITO BAG? AND YOU EAT IT ALL WITH A FORK? FUCKIN NUTS GUYS. I know for a fact this stretches the authentic “Mexican food” title, but man that was a great business decision to include it. Once a year, as a birthday treat, the Walking Taco is my bitch. 

Shoutout to Big Star, the ideal location for any event that needs tequila. 

3. Garcia’s Restaurant 

Garcia’s feels like home due to the amount of times a meal there has included the same group of close friends, emotional conversations about sorority stuff, and late night escapes from boys that don’t understand when they’re ridiculous, we will go get mole and strawberry daiquiris instead of dealing with them. While I have no photos to share, I do have memories and the assurance that this place is truly authentic. From the large wooden chairs to the flags on the wall, atmosphere lacks but the food is absolutely incredible. I always order the Cheese Enchiladas with mole poblano on top, and it is the real mole that makes you warm from the inside out. It’s thick with notes of cocoa, spices, and not too sweet- almost bittersweet in fact, and with the pull of cheese inside chewy tortillas all rolled up underneath it is a rare find indeed. 

The chips & salsa take the cake in my book; they’re perfectly crispy and not greasy, and the salsa will make your eyes water but then before you know it your face is soaking wet because you ate ALL OF THE SALSA ANYWAY. Hurts so good, you know? 

And as mentioned the strawberry daiquiri is DOPE DOPE DOPE. Huge for the price, sweet and sugary with all the spicy food, and perfect for late night gossip. Or pregaming, either one. 

4. Taco Diablo 

An Evanston favorite! The OG Taco Diablo opened a few years ago and was an instant hit in the North Shore as it was a dark, intimate den of Mexican food, a place for casual drinks, and coated in sugar skull paintings and weird demonic creatures dancing around the bar area. Given the logo has little devils in it, it’s fitting that here they take a sultry, somewhat naughty approach to decor and food. We went once or twice a week and craved their guac that has a very specific lime & garlic undertone to it in the best way guac ever could, and the baskets of thin chips with rock salt sprinkled on the sides. 

No one was prepared for the morning we woke up and Beloved Taco Diablo had burned down, along with it’s neighboring restaurant Pine Yard. Needless to say, everyone was SHOOK and really genuinely upset that this tragedy struck such loved, run-by-good-people places. So then even more was no one prepared when the ashes were burried and from them rose A NEW TACO DIABO RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET! The owners of this cantina and the conjoining (long time closed) Asian-influence restaurant Lulu’s bought a double lot across the street and just went gung-ho on giving Evanston two of their favorite places back, which was like Christmas 100x over. The tacos from Taco Diablo AND the sesame peanut noodles from Lulu’s??? Next door??? HECKIN’ YES. I have literally downed a -very strong- marg with friends at Taco Diablo and then placed an order for the noodles to go to enjoy later in bed, and if that’s not employing DEMAND AND SUPPLY IDK WHAT IS. 

Go here for dinner with friends, a second date or a weekly drink date, and to sample every fucking thing on the menu. Especially the chilaquiles!!! 

5. Depot Nuevo

This one is hardest to type because we adore it, cherish it, crave it, owe many years of our lives to it way too much and in fact I will be here this week a couple times already. Depot graced our lives many moons ago in Wilmette and quickly became the neighborhood hub, as it’s downtown and in a real, separate house with a wraparound porch and the same smiling faces greeting you every single time. The menu offers your typical Mexican favorites such as tacos, fajitas, burritos + bowls, and of course guac and salsa, but with a slightly more upscale twist in a casual yet good-enough-for-a-life-event setting. The shrimp taco filled with crispy grilled shrimp, spicy crema, and actual slices of avocado are in my list of favorite foods in the entire world, but order the cheese quesadilla with a side of avocado and rice and holy frickle frackle you will never see quesadillas as a children’s food again. The cheese is juicy, chewy, stretchy, buttery, everything you could imagine and more. House-made corn tortillas and red salsa are impossible to describe, and the pomegranate margarita is the sweet n’ sour necessity to the meal that will linger in your mind for days afterward until you go back. 

Don’t brush it off because it’s in the quiet and sleepy suburbs. It is constantly busy, turnt, and I promise people in my friend group will be there heckling the staff and demanding elite service because we keep them in business. I THANK AND APPRECIATE YOUR WORK, DEPOT! 

That’s all I’ve got for you today friends, I hope this helps shape some weekend plans and gives you some new happy hour spots! What are your favorite Mexican restaurants?? Always looking for new places! 

-Natalie 

[idolimagines]

Mad: Part 11

“We’re all a little crazy on the inside, some are just better at hiding it than others.”

Warning: Contains smut, violence and tense situations in some chapters

Teaser  Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 12

Walking out the double doors you found yourself in the courtyard – gazing amongst the numerous prisoners in search for two certain men. You felt like meeting Jackson and Jaebum during their afternoon break had become a daily ritual now as it was the only way the three of you could get together and freely talk.

Still staring out ahead, you took the last bite of your blueberry bagel before surprisingly seeing Jackson and Jaebum sitting together at one of the tables. The odd sight caused you to stop chewing for a moment as you paused and blinked a few times – wanting to make sure it was in fact them as you couldn’t believe your eyes. For once they weren’t throwing punches or shouting at one another but instead they were acting civil – talking casually as if they had been long time friends.

Not bearing to wipe the wide smile across your face you nearly pranced as you made your way over to the table in a delighted manner. “Wow I never thought I’d lived to see the day,” you teasingly announced – standing at the head of the table as you eyed the two men with a smug smile. Upon seeing you Jaebum’s usual intimidating expression quickly changed as his lips curved up into a small smile.

Despite recognizing the difference in Jaebum’s expression, Jackson decided not to say anything before turning his attention to you as well. “The day?” He repeated in a questioning manner – tilting his head as he eyed you. “Yeah,” you replied. “The day I’d see you two sitting here together and there’s no blood involved.”

Jaebum laughed at your comment, finding your optimism rather cute before slyly popping your bubble. “Don’t get too excited doctor. There was nowhere else to sit.” He stated, causing you to snicker before glancing around the courtyard again – realizing he was actually right as there were a bunch of guards lazily hanging around his favorite spot under the tree.

“Doesn’t matter – you’re still sitting here together.” You added with a final huff before bringing your body around and sitting down next to Jaebum. You bumped shoulders with him as you crossed your arms, shooting him a little scowl as he smirked at you. “So doctor…” Jackson eagerly began, placing his elbows on the table leaning in closer to you from the other side. “You got any good news for us?”

You could hear the small ounce of hope within his voice as he spoke to you – talking in a seemingly careless tone but actually praying for a positive answer in return. “Actually I do,” you answered with a confident smile and his eyes went wide, staring at you as if you were his saving grace while you continued. “I have an ex-guard on our side now. He’s going to help me expose this place for what it really is.” You announced in a hush whisper, making sure only Jaebum and Jackson heard.

Jackson quirked a thick brow in response, the hopeful glint in his eyes suddenly disappearing as he looked confused by your answer. “An ex-guard…?” He slowly repeated. “You mean he doesn’t work here anymore? How is that going to help us?”

“His name is Yugyeom,” you announced, ready to explain as you were expecting this type of reaction. “He was there when I discovered the prisoner had escaped and threatened the warden about exposing this corrupt place.”

“He knew too much so the warden had to get rid of him,” Jaebum spoke up beside you – looking just as disturbed as Jackson about all this. You nodded your head in response, agreeing with him before Jackson suddenly leaned back and chuckled. “Threatening the warden huh – I like this Yugyeom guy already. The warden is a total asshole,” he finished with a scoff.

“Yeah,” you replied. “I don’t like him either but I need to find some evidence so Yugyeom and I can run to the authorities and reveal what’s really going on here.” You added before both men snapped their heads at you. “What – like the police?” Jackson blurted out defensively. “I thought they’re in cahoots with this place though?”

“Which is exactly why we’re going to the federal government instead – someone who is higher than the police.” You assured and a pleased smirk came across Jackson’s face. “Damn I’m so ready to get out of here,” he honestly revealed – taking a deep breath and staring ahead at the large fence that kept him trapped here. “…I miss my brother.”

A brief moment of silence surrounded the three of you and you shifted in your seat for a moment, realizing what he just said as you suddenly had this itch to ask the burning question before finally speaking up. “Jackson – how exactly did you end up here anyways?” You carefully asked, causing the man to turn his attention back to you.

Jackson’s cheerful face had now turned to stone as he recalled the painful memory. “My older brother and I grew up without much and relied on the little food we had.” He answered with a grave tone, taking his eyes off you as he spoke. “…and one day I was so hungry I was caught stealing food at a market – next thing I know I’m stuck in the police car and suddenly dropped off here instead of the station. When I arrived I tried fighting back and that was the first time they injected that serum into me,” he explained.  “When I woke up I was in a cell and labeled a psycho.”

“Since that day I never got to see my older brother again.” Jackson further added, staring down at his entwined fingers while he sat deep in thought. “But as soon as I get out of here I’m going to find him.”

As he said those last few words, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility weigh on your shoulders as you knew you were the only one who could free them out of this awful place. You knew such a challenge was dangerous but at this point you knew there was no going back as you had fully devoted yourself to this mission – wanting to see it out till the end. “Don’t worry Jackson – I’ll make sure you’ll see your brother again soon.” You promised – wanting to give him strength with the encouraging words as not only his psychiatrist but also a friend.

“I hope so,” he admitted with a weak smile before going quiet again for another long minute. Realizing just how solemn he was looking, Jackson instantly concealed his emotions with a small light-hearted laugh – breaking the temporary silence and pretending to be okay on the inside as he didn’t want to seem vulnerable to anyone. Looking around, he soon spotted a group of prisoners playing cards at a nearby table before speaking up. “Um…I’m going to play a few games,” Jackson announced. “Those guys always lose against me,” he added while quickly jolting out of his seat and leaving in a rush – leaving you and Jaebum alone as a result.  

As soon as Jackson left Jaebum turned to you, not wasting any time as he wanted to get straight to the question. “So how exactly are you going to get evidence?” He firmly asked in a shrewd tone – eager to know your answer as he already had an idea of what you were going to say.

With a small yawn, you casually rested your arms on the table and laid your head down as you wanted to use this free time to relax for a moment as you began to explain. “I’m going to sneak into the warden’s office and search around-”

“No you’re not.” Jaebum’s deep voice harshly interjected, causing you to sneer in response.

“Excuse me?” You hissed – daring him to repeat himself as you suddenly lifted your head off the table and straightened your posture out.

Jaebum seemed unaffected by your death glare as he shot you one of his own, determined not to let you make reckless decisions. “It’s too dangerous I don’t want you going in there.”

“I can handle it,” you easily assured as you ignored his warning. “I’m only going in there for a quick minute while he’s on his late lunch break. You don’t have to worry about me Jaebum. I’ll be in and out of there in no time – the warden won’t notice anything.”

“And what if he comes back and finds you? What will you do then?” Jaebum demanded. “I know you want to help but I don’t want you putting yourself at risk for our sake.” He added, motioning towards Jackson at the other table. “It’s not worth it.”

“Yes it is,” you bluntly argued – almost offended that he would even dare to say such a thing. Whether he knew it or not Jaebum meant a lot to you and at this point you were willing to do anything for him. “Jaebum I told you this is the only way I’ll be able to get you out of here,” you urged.

“He’s dangerous Y/N,” the brunette snapped as he looked at you with worried eyes. “I don’t give a damn about getting out of here if it means risking your life. You’re all I have,” he admitted.

You stared at him, slowly taking in the sweet words as you weren’t expecting such an answer from him. “Jaebum-” you slowly spoke, trying to find the right words before you suddenly caught sight of Brooke in the corner of your eye. She had barely begun to walk out to the courtyard and you were glad you had spotted her so soon as she had not seen you sitting with Jaebum yet.

“She’s finally come back to courtyard duty,” you groaned before snapping out of your seat and away from Jaebum, leaving him confused at the table before he looked ahead and found Brooke too. “I’m your patient though, can’t you be seen with me? I mean we’re out where everyone can see us-” Jaebum suggested before you shook your head in response.

“Yeah but I think she suspects something more between us.” You admitted, putting emphasis as Jaebum had quickly understood you were talking about your relationship. Taking another look ahead, you saw Brooke coming further out into the courtyard and the panic began to settle in. “I have to go now,” you declared in an attempt to start running off before Jaebum grabbed your hand and stopped you.

“Promise me that you won’t go lurking around,” he stated with a troubled gaze.

You looked at him and swallowed the lump in your throat. “Alright I promise,” you assured, squeezing his hand tightly before letting go and hurriedly rushing towards the double doors before Brooke could see you.

Upon entering the building you found yourself walking down the hall and past your office and feeling guilty as you knew exactly where you heading instead as you made another turn. Before you knew it your feet had carried you to the Warden’s office and you felt your heart pound through your chest as you caught sight of him walking down the empty hallway. He had just left his office and was going in the opposite direction of you as you could see him continue further out – presumably for his usual late lunch break as he held a brown bag in his hand. Standing near the door of his office you began to have second thoughts as you remembered your promise to Jaebum just moments before.

You didn’t want to go against your word but at this moment you felt like this was your chance as you had noticed the door was beginning to lock shut and in seconds you rushed over and stopped it with your foot. The rush of adrenaline had taken over your body and your guilty thoughts were soon ridden as you could only think of your mission to find evidence and get Jaebum out of here.

Taking another glance around the empty hallway, you began to slowly creep into the room, leaving the door cracked open to hear any footsteps coming nearby. The warden’s office was large and he had a large desk filled with stacks of files and papers.

You could feel your heart began to pound as you walked further in, not knowing where to start as everything seemed so messy and cluttered. Scanning amongst the papers you found an old picture near his computer. Carefully picking it up your eyes widened as you recognized the face to in fact be Julius Swintek. The picture simple looked like a family portrait as Julius was standing with Mr. Swintek and a woman who you presumed to be his wife.

Now glancing between the faces you could see the strong resemblance between Julius and his father as they shared the same distinctive features and piercing eyes.  After looking at the picture you kept searching through the papers, desperate to find anything about BamBam and the accident before you heard footsteps outside.

Taking quiet steps, you slowly made your way back towards the door – hoping it was just a nurse passing by while you further opened the door and snuck out.

But just as you did, your eyes enlarged as you were suddenly faced with Mr. Swintek. By his posture you could tell he had been standing there for a while – almost as if he was creepily waiting to see who would come out.

A sharp gasp left your mouth as he slightly stooped down to meet your height, staring at you with red veiny eyes and a scowl across his face. “What are you doing in my office,” he darkly asked.

“I – I had just come to look for you. Your door was open and I thought you were inside but remembered you were on a lunch break.” You lied through your teeth – trying to look away from his intimidating gaze until he made a nasty growl from the depths of his lungs.

Before you knew it the warden had caught you up by the throat and slammed you against the wall with a loud banging noise. “Help!” You shrieked as you felt the back of your head harshly collide against the brick and soon you began gasping for air as the warden squeezed onto your neck tighter. Loud gasps for air left your mouth as your hands were swinging at him, trying to hit him so he could let you go before you suddenly heard Jinyoung yelling to you.

His face had gone cold as he saw what the warden was doing and in an instant he started shouting at the man, demanding to let you go as he started charging down the hallway towards you, causing the warden to look at the doctor before snapping his head back to you.

The warden’s hand squeezed onto your neck a little tighter, giving you one final ounce of pain as he said, “If I find anything missing from my office, you’ll get much worse next time.” He whispered against your ear before letting go.

As soon as he dropped you – you fell to the floor, continuously gasping for air as he went back into his office and slammed his door shut while Jinyoung ran to you, “Y/N!” He called out, running to help you up as you stayed on the ground. You felt like you were dying, trying to grasp a breath of air as wheezes and pants stemmed from your mouth instead.

Jinyoung tried helping you up until you pulled away from him. “Get away from me!” You hissed, yanking yourself away. “Y/N let me help,” he insisted, trying to help you up before you yanked your arm away again. “Come on let me take you to the nurse’s office,” he urged.

“No!” You shouted. “I can’t trust anything you say,” you snapped, struggling to stand up on your own. “You’re corrupted just like him.”

“Like who the warden?” Jinyoung asked, staring at you in shock as he stood back. “I’m nothing like him!” He tried arguing before you ignored his plead and left, stumbling down the hallway alone.  

But as you did you ran into Jaebum, who was just walking inside from the courtyard now. He had a smile when he saw you but that smile soon faded as he saw the wrecked state you were in. He started shouting to you and with a fight he broke away from the guards - rushing to you as you collapsed onto the ground before everything went black…

[joshuazev]

On boy meets girl: version 2

We are in Trader Joes, the one on 72nd in the Upper West Side of New York City.  Madness in people form.  Trader Joes on 72nd is like traffic in Seattle, anymore.  Packed at all times of the day.  Don’t get me wrong there are the early commuters, just like in Seattle, the ones that beat the traffic, the ones that are on the road before the road is ready.  In Trader Joes case the rumor goes that there are certain shoppers that start waiting in line before it opens.  Getting the Organic lettuce in the vegetable section when it’s fully stocked is like getting to work on time.  There have been occasions where it’s been pretty empty, but its only until a littler later in the shopping process that you figure out why.  They don’t have anything!  You go to the navel oranges and only the lopsided smushed ones are left.  You go to the cheap eggs and you find out that there aren’t any eggs, period.  It’s a struggle.  The shopper is left scrambling.  However, like most things in New York, if you go often enough and find your routine and rhythm it can get pretty fun because—while it might seem like an individual escapade, it’s actually a community endeavor.  Not to mention the fact that I’ve never ever encountered an asshole employee at Trader Joes.  I don’t know what there lives are like, but they all seem to be so close with one another, always seem to be enjoying themselves.  Maybe it’s the pace of the work and they don’t have the time to get lazy or maybe it’s because most of them are actors and are putting up a collective front that’s really good.  Either way, Trader Joes has it all and if you decide to keep your head up and your earphones in your pocket you can actually strike up some good conversations with people.  The employees help you with everything and even the other shoppers.  We’ve all asked someone to kick our carts forward when we gotta go out of our way to get something.  The rare few do so reluctantly, but the majority are happy to assist.  

INT. - TRADER JOES - NIGHT  

The boy is on his mid week journey to purchase some groceries for the week at his favorite Trader Joes, but the somewhat unwelcome sight of a line forming out of the door in order to get in temporarily halts his high hopes.  Reluctant to wait in the line, he sulks for a moment and gets in.  It isn’t the worst he’s ever seen and he’s actually comforted by the fast moving line.  About a minute later he is within the automatic doors and is greeted by one of his favorite people, the daily guard and the nightly employee that blocks the escalator when the crowds are too great.

Boy:  How you guys doing, tonight?

Cop:  Good, thank you.

Night Employee:  Another day, another dollar, my man!

Boy:  I hear that.  I hear that.

The boy follows the line that is now slow moving along the stairs and sees the incredible Wednesday night crowd, filtering through the red peppers and eggplants and the others that are huddled around the cheese section.  He’ll start where he normally starts—in the back—and then work is way to the front.  He didn’t know what to do the first couple of times he had come there, but realized moments in that there was a way that people shopped.  A more efficient, time effective manner of getting your things and moving in line all at the same time.  He decided he’d start on the bottom floor where the frozen foods resided, along with the breads, the oils, butters, vinegars, and other sauce items he had grew fond of.  The first thing he plopped in his cart was the multigrain bread, high in fiber, great for PB&J sandwiches, avocado toast, and other snacks that needed a nice, healthy base.  Where to next, he wondered.  Ah, that’s right.  Over to the oils to get some olive oil, some balsamic vinegar for his salads, and a little further down a new kind of marinara sauce for his pastas and spaghettis.  In the next isle over he found his beans, his rice, and some canned tuna fish for his lazy days, which ended up being more often than not, recently.  Ah, he had to go back because he forgot to get the spaghetti for the spaghetti he was going to make.  Gotta be able to put the red sauce on something.  In the corner was the peanut butter he enjoyed and right below was the raspberry jam that he hadn’t touched as much because peanut butter and honey had taken over.  It was always good to have it though, just in case.  Hmm…what next what next.  Normally he would have gotten cereal, but he had stopped drinking milk for years and only just stopped eating yogurt.  Both upset his stomach.  He missed drinking milk and he missed yogurt too, but the only sacrifices he was willing to make for an upset stomach was pizza and the occasional ice cream.  Those were undeniables.  The frozen food section was next and he picked up an assortment of Potstickers, Orange Chicken, Kung Pao Chicken, Vegetable Biryani, and Channa Masala.  Yes, he was lazy more than fifty percent of the time.  

Boy:  Excuse me?

Employee 2:  Yes, how can I help you?

Boy:  Do you know where I can find those chocolate almond thingies?

Employee 2:  The dark chocolate ones?

Boy:  Yes!

Employee 2:  They should be over here.

The boy follows the girl over to the chocolate goodies.

Employee 2:  Right…here.  Hmm…it looks like we might be out.

Boy:  Noooooooo…

Employee 2:  I know how you feel.

Boy:  Those are my babies.

Employee 2:  You eat your babies?

Boy:  Only once a day.

Employee 2:  You ever tried the peanut butter cups?

Boy:  Nope, are they good?

Employee 2:  They are the babies that I eat every day.

Boy:  Oh damn.  OK.  Are they like Reeses peanut butter cups?

Employee 2:  No, they’re better.

Boy:  Well, let’s do it.  I’m ready to try something new.  

Employee 2:  You’ve never had a peanut butter cup?

Boy:  Not from here.

Employee 2:  What about the Scandinavian Swimmers?

Boy:  Huh?

Employee 2:  You got to try these, too.

Boy:  These look like multi-colored Swedish Fish.

Employee 2:  You ever had Swedish Fish?  

Boy:  Not these kind.      

Employee 2:  What about—

Boy:  That’s good for right now.  I got to see if you even have good taste first.  Can’t be buying everything in the section, eat it at home, and then find out we might be disagreeable.

Employee 2:  You gonna let me know?

Boy:  Maybe.

Employee 2:  Don’t worry.  Those don’t fail.

Boy:  We shall see.  Thank you.

Employee 2:  No problem.

The boy heads up the escalator to the fresh produce section and sees that the level has become even more of a shitshow.  He slides his cart into a nook that doesn’t quite block people too badly.  The apples are first, the oranges are next, and then a quick snatch of a few avocados, to which he plops all of them in the cart.  The boy wheels to the back to pick up his cheap two cartons of eggs and starts the process of grabbing the stuff he needs and moving along in the line.  It’s snaking around rather nicely, today.  The lettuce he longs for is luckily in stock, as well as the spinach that he adds to the salad.  He’s just about to reach for the last thing of carrots, but a girl ahead of him also grabs for it.

Boy:  Go ahead.  

Girl:  You sure?

Boy:  Yeah, I can see fine.  It’s really OK.

Girl:  OK, but you’re not gonna be behind me all mad on our way to the register are you?

Boy:  I think I should be fine by the time we reach the chicken.  

Girl:  OK.  You sure?

Boy:  I’m so over it.  Just don’t take my persian cucumbers and we’ll be good.

Girl:  Yikes.  I might need those more than the carrots.

Boy:  Nope, nope.  I already claimed them.  

Girl:  Shit.  I should have known you were one of those cucumber guys.

Customer 1:  Umm, the line is moving.  

Girl:  Sorry, I’m moving, I’m moving.  

The boy passes the packaged fruits and gets his blueberries and strawberries.  Where he would be without Driscolls…  He also sees some raspberries, but the girl once again goes in for the last package.  The guy takes his hand back and watches while she unflinchingly carries on her attempt.

Girl:  Gotta have my raspberries.

The boy continues to mean mug as she places them delicately in her cart and continues on.  He is steaming just a little bit inside.  They are just passing by the bananas.  He decides not to ask for the person behind him to push his cart, but make a mad dash to grab a six pack of bananas and he rushes back to the dismay of the woman that had urged him to move ahead moments before.

Boy:  Sorry.

The samples are pumpkin bagels with pumpkin flavored cream cheese.  There’s one last one.  He doesn’t think twice and snatches the sample before the girl can.

Boy:  Gotta have my pumpkin bagel.

The girl isn’t too pleased as she can see there is no give with this boy.  He’s a stubborn one.  The line continues and the boy grabs his smoked trout, then his packaged chicken, all the while keeping his eye on the girl in front of him to make sure she isn’t trying to steal his items.  The next section he gets his Smoked Andouillie sausage, a must for breakfasts and pastas and then gets his grilled chicken slices for the next couple days of salads.  So far so good.  Only a couple things left for him to get.  

Boy:  Miss would you mind pushing my cart while I go grab a couple things.

Customer 2:  No.

He gets his red peppers, no problem.  He gets his onion, no problem.  He sees the persian cucumber box.  He sees the girl seeing the persian cucumber box.  They power walk mix with a mad dash over to the box and they see that there is one left. They both reach their hands in there and cause a commotion.  Tugging back and forth, back and forth until it slips into the air.  Their eyes follow it.  They watch as it flies and flies until it lands safely into the cart of the woman right behind them in line.  

Customer 2:  You know, I was looking for these cucumbers.  

The boy and girl stare at each other and walk back to their carts, steaming and dejected.  They make it to the front of the line and are directed to their numbered registers.  The girl is given 23 and the guy is given 24.  They deliberately don’t make eye contact and get to their cashiers.

Employee 2:  How’s it going, sir?  Did you find everything ok, today?

The boy looks next to him at the girl and then back at the cashier without saying anything.

Employee 2:  Yeah, I know what you mean, I know what you mean.  Rush hours are always a little hectic.  Will that be paper or plastic?

The girl next to him motions to her own cashier and asks for plastic.

Boy:  Paper.  Please.

It goes like so for the rest of the interaction and as a last ditch effort to inject some happiness into the boy’s life the cashier says…

Employee 2:  Don’t worry, man.  You’ll be alright.  Have a good night.

The boy takes his cart to the elevator area, takes his bag out, and then carries them up the escalator.  At the top, the elevator door opens and the girl comes out.  

Boy:  Will you just leave me alone?  Please!

Girl:  I have nothing to say to you.

Boy:  Well good because neither do I.  Hope you enjoy your carrots.

Girl:  Hope you enjoyed that bagel.

Boy:  Hope you enjoy those raspberries.

Girl:  Hope you enjoy those cucumber-less salads.

Boy:  You too.

The boy and the girl leave without another word, hoping to never see the other ever again.