#staying in my comfort zone and drawing soft gays

[stray-dude]

homosexu-vulpes

[sanderssides-secretsanta]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa gift #2!!

This is my second piece for this exchange!! My recipient was @lovelivingmydreams

I really enjoyed this prompt! I hope you enjoy ^^

- - -

You'd never peg Virgil for the type to start small games, would you? Most wouldn't. Roman knew his boyfriend better though. 

Virgil and Roman had started dating about 4 months ago, when Roman had (figuratively) poured his heart out to Virgil in a moment of tired stupidity. Luckily for them, they're both tired and stupid.

After a kiss, and another, and wherever that led, they made it official. However, they knew how Thomas' fans were, along with a few of the other sides themselves, and Virgil had his doubts about making it public. After a bit of thinking (staring into a coffee mug and murmuring to himself while Roman sipped his tea) he had the perfect plan.

Well, perfect is a slight overstatement.

They decided they'd keep it secret, technically. They just didn't outwardly say it, but they slipped small hints. Virgil leaning his head on Roman's head to see what he was drawing. Roman placing his arm on the emo nightmare's shoulder and said nightmare not objecting, for once. Holding hands beneath the dinner table. You know, all that romantic jazz. As much as Virgil claimed to hate it, he really liked it when it came from his knight in a onesie. 

So now it was a game to see who would figure it out first. They were taking bets, actually. Roman betted on Logan or Remus. Logan because he was observant as fuck, and Remus because somehow his annoying twin always managed to figure this sort of thing out, despite his, as Roman said, "brain smaller than the pea under the princess's mattress!"

Virgil had instantly shot that down, placing his bet on Patton and Janus. Logan had no clue when it came to romance, and Remus was more... lust. Patton tended to be more in-tune with feelings like that, and Janus obviously just knew when someone was lying. Maybe Janus had an unfair advantage. 

Either way, they went about their daily lives. Nobody caught on for quite a bit, actually. 

It was one movie night in Roman's room when Patton first saw them properly close. Virgil with his head leaning on Roman's, who had his on Virgil's chest. 

"Hey kiddos! Just wanted to- oh!" He stopped as he walked in. Virgil instantly looked around at Patton, then back at his chest, then at Patton again. He raised a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhhh! The idiot fell asleep. He'll be cranky if I wake him up now. We're fine, ok?" Virgil told him in what wasn't higher than a whisper. Patton nodded.

"Mhm! Sorry." He said, waving as he walked out.

Virgil sighed, before chuckling softly. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss to the top of Roman's head.

"And so it begins." 

Logan was next, surprisingly. He'd only noticed when one day, at breakfast, Roman passed Virgil his coffee, their hands lingering for a moment longer than the standard amount. They sat down with their shoulders nearly touching. 

He watched them for a bit, analysing them behind his glasses. Roman caught his eye first, looking up from his food and raising an eyebrow.

"Whatcha staring at, nerd?" He asked. Logan cleared his throat.

"Ah, nothing. My apologies, it's just... you seem awfully close, both physically speaking and relationship wise. Has something changed?" He asked. Roman scoffed. Virgil seemed pretty zoned out.

"Me and emo nightmare? Nah, not a chance in Olympus. Keep theorising though, pocket protector. It's funny!" He said with a grin as he proceeds to nearly choke on his cereal. Logan sighed, shaking his head in exasperation. Virgil was trying his hardest not to laugh.

Somehow, Remus came next. To Janus' credit, he was often in his rooms plotting something or other. Or, that's how Virgil described it. But either way, all of the sides (bar Logan and Janus) were watching a movie. Nightmare Before Christmas; a classic. Roman had taken his position on the armchair, with Virgil laying across the couch onto Roman with his head in his lap. Patton sat on the couch with what was probably hot chocolate, and Remus lay on the floor, shirt discarded earlier in the night. 

At one point, Remus clearly lost focus in the movie, looking up at Roman and Virgil's position (which could NOT have been comfortable for Virgil; he was leaning across two couch arms and onto someone's legs). He let out a loud snicker, not trying to silence himself. Virgil looked down.

"Something funny?"

"Yeah, you two dorks. Hah, dorks."

"Shut up. What's funny about us then?" He asked. Roman was still watching the movie, but he listened to the others talk. 

"You look like you're tryna fuckin' break your back, and Roman over there would've tossed you off of him like a corpse this time last year. Something happen? Hm, hm??" He asked with a grin. Patton looked over in curiosity, but lost interest just as fast.

Roman chimed in now.

"Don't get any dirty ideas, brother! No, I'm simply being decent and letting Mr Gloom here sit where he wants. Is that so bad?"

"Sit is a very far stretch! He looks like he has no bones! Which I am not opposed to, by the way."

Virgil scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"You would like that, wouldn't you gremlin?"

"Yep!"

Roman threw a handful of popcorn at Remus, which quickly shut him up. Not because he was defeated, just because he wanted to see how that whole thing played out.

As the movie continued, Roman let his hand on Virgil's stomach, where one of the latter's hands rested. In the dark room, they let their fingers intertwine.

Obviously, they'd have to find out at some point. It was a given, all games have to end someday. It was dinner in the mind palace, and a pleasant one at that. All the sides decides to eat together since Thomas was in a good mood (he was eating with Nico today!) and nobody was complaining. Despite how much they claim to hate each other, they really are friends.

Well, friends is an understatement for some. 

Roman and Virgil were called to dinner, making them leave their blanket cocoon they'd built around themselves. Virgil groaned.

"I don't wanna move yet." He said with a pout. This just made Roman laugh.

"Well, we're eating with the others today, soo..." He snickered. "Oh no, the dreaded social interaction!"

Virgil just shot him a glare as Roman laughed. Once he'd had his moment, Roman stood up and shook off his blankets. He looked down at Virgil before smirking.

"...I don't like that look."

"Pffft- stay still, emo!"

"Wha-? hEY-!"

Virgil let out a yell as Roman swept him off the bed and onto his feet, spinning him around before he fully touched the ground. Despite his first protest, Virgil laughed as Roman spun him. They both laughed as the purple boy stopped, world spinning for him.

"Ready now, hot topic?"

"Sure, sure. Let's go, disneyworld."

As they turned to the door, they stopped. 

Four familiar faces stood at the door, all with their own variants of grins. Patton seemed excited, Logan was taking down some notes witb a smirk, And Remus and Janus were both grinning.

"I told you, Dee!! They're so fucking gay!" Remus exclaimed, making Janus laugh, along with Logan.

Roman felt the blush coating his cheeks as he facepalmed. He expected Virgil to be freaking out, and he was prepared to help, but as he looked at Virgil, all he saw was... was him laughing. Virgil laughed along with them, grabbing Roman's arm.

"Well, game's busted, Princey." He said. Roman laughed this time.

"I suppose you're right. Hey, who walked in first?"

"Ah, that would be Janus." Logan said, still not looking up at them. Virgil punched the air.

"I win! You owe me now."

"Hahahahah! Fine, fine. What do I owe?"

"You know."

Roman laughed. Without much hesitation, the pair leaned in, almost in sync. Their lips met in a kiss, confirming the theory Logan had been wondering about. 

"Haha! Gay!!"

Without parting, Virgil perfectly flipped off Remus in exactly his direction. 

[alittlebitgoofy]

Glass wings - chapter five (lemonjuice)

i'm back back back again with more gay fairies and this time we have a gay elf and another gay pixie, very fun!! i'm excited to finally get jan and rock into the mix >:)

thanks to my dearest @dollalpaca for betaing and putting up with my lack of commas. it's a lot to deal with

ao3 link

Time felt like it was floating; maybe it was the hazy morning air, or the warmth that was enveloping her, but Lemon had never felt so comfortable. She was somewhat aware of the body intertwined with her’s. Cracking her eyes open, she saw Juice still pressed into her side. Soft breaths tickled her collarbone, Juice’s head having not left her shoulder the entire time they’d been sleeping. 

Lemon couldn’t bring herself to move and risk disturbing her friend, she had a feeling Juice wasn’t the best at letting herself sleep, always opting to do things than give herself time to rest. It was an issue she couldn’t press for fear of making things awkward, only try to subtly influence. She looked calm, peaceful for once; the blonde showed no signs of waking up any time soon. Even when she was relaxed, Juice had a natural frown, her face never seeming fully happy apart from the rare, softer moments that happened. The night before was one of those, something where the air around them was different, things came out easier and it felt as if nothing in the world mattered, only their company. 

It surprised Lemon how easily she fell into the grasp of another person—she’d spent so long pent up, alone by her own choice but regretting it more day by day, powerless to stop the torment she put herself through. 

Then Juice came around, giving her someone to really connect with. Finally, a friend. 

Juice woke up some time while Lemon was busy in her own thoughts. She stayed still at first, melted into Lemon, not wanting to move from the comfort she offered. Her half-asleep brain could only process that the warm thing next to her was good and needed to be kept around. 

After pulling Lemon slightly closer than before, Juice didn’t budge. She set her claim, curled up in bed with Lemon, and refused to leave or even slightly mess up the current situation. Lemon was brought back to reality by Juice shuffling as much closer as she could physically manage, her affection not going anywhere any time soon.

“Morning, Juicy,” Lemon spoke softly, not yet ready for the day, still fighting off the sleep. The response she got was a soft hum, not having processed the greeting, however wanting to appear as if she had. 

“G’morning, Lem.” Juice’s tone was rough with tiredness, her words muffled by her head still burrowed into the pixie’s shoulder. Her speech was less annunciated, just about not slurring together in fatigue. 

It didn’t take too long for them both to fully wake up. Lemon, having already been fairly alert choosing to stay in the blissful state of Juice’s affection. (but enjoying Juice’s endless affection) The latter needed a few more minutes to wake up, before engaging in a conversation. Within a few more minutes, Juice moved her arms from Lemon, startling the pixie. She sat up, eyes still heavy with tiredness, though a lot more alert than before. 

Eventually, Lemon followed suit, the pair quietly preparing for the day ahead of them, a morning routine made easier with the company of another person. Juice stared at Lemon quizzically as she only ran a hand through her hair and shrugged.

“Do you not brush your hair a lot? Are you one of those people who don’t need to? Or is it just something you dislike.” Lemon paused, how did she explain that she despised brushing it until she had to, for no real reason? It just made her uncharacteristically angry.

“I don’t like it, I have too much hair and it’s a pain to brush it all out, so I don’t if I can get away with it, which I could have before you pointed it out.” She childishly stuck her tongue out for emphasis, while Juice struggled to hold back the laughter at her usual dramatics. 

Lemon wanted nothing more than to run when she saw Juice pick up her comb, glancing between it and her hair curiously. The fairy made her way to her side, nudging Lemon to see if she was allowed to do so. Lemon wanted to say no, but something about Juice’s soft expression melted her into accepting with no fuss.

It didn’t take long before Lemon grunted at the pulling of her hair with the comb to detangle it. It was a horrible feeling, all the more reason she despised that thing. Juice tried to be as gentle as she could, but she had to be more forceful to get out any knots. Lemon became more docile as they went along, her hair becoming a lot less messy, though still as fluffy as ever. Lemon found herself enjoying the soft contact of Juice, steadying her head with a hand leant against her neck, or running her hands through the hair to check she hadn’t missed anything. It made her body warm in an unfamiliar way, but something she would crave again all the same. 

Juice smiled proudly at the finished product and Lemon hummed in satisfaction. Running a hand through her hair, the pixie flashed a grin, happy with the result. The blonde took the opportunity to fluff up her hair like how it usually was, running her hands through it to check the neatness all over. 

That was the only reason, not that she enjoyed being in such close proximity with Lemon or anything. 

---

Although it had gotten easier, flying with Lemon was never a good idea—she would zoom off at a speed that Juice could hardly keep up with. Thankfully, the pixie had decided to rest on her shoulder, making herself comfortable as the fairy flew them further on.

“There’s something over there!” Lemon jolted, gesturing to the right, sounding uncharacteristically serious. Juice shot her a confused look, not sure what caused the sudden outburst or why her eyes were so trained on the direction she had pointed to.

“I can feel something, I don’t know what it is, but I need to go check it out,” Lemon said quickly, flying off of Juice’s shoulder and deeper into the surrounding forest. 

“Lemon! You aren’t going alone, slow down,” Juice sighed, following Lemon as fast as she could and hoping the pixie didn’t fly into anything in her sudden burst of energy. The pixie paused, fluttering her way back to the shoulder and directing Juice from there. 

They flew decently far out, to the outskirts of the village where a few people lived, who didn’t like living in the main town area for whatever reason. Upon spotting a house in the distance, Lemon’s eyes lit up. That was it! That was the thing she could feel. There was something inside that house that was drawing her to it, and she needed to find out. 

---

Jan sprung back to consciousness at an alarming rate. No grogginess, only a sudden burst of energy that startled the person leaning over her. 

Before her brain could catch up as to why there was a concerned elf in a cloak staring at her, something pulled at her. The sensation was willing her to leave the little cottage and venture into the surrounding woods, though that seemed like a bad idea. 

“Hey! Don’t just leave! You’re not really in the state to—!” The elf threw herself to grab the pixie as she jumped off of the bed, before stumbling to the floor atop the other girl, her voice failing as they collided with the ground.

“Are you alright? I know you fell quite hard, but you just jolted up all of a sudden and it was terrifying,” the other girl spoke slower, a lot quieter that time. She struggled to hold eye contact, seemingly scared of Jan. It was a lot to realise someone may be intimidated by her, but the pixie tried to keep herself as small and harmless as possible in response. 

“I’m okay, everything hurts, though. I’m not quite sure what happened.” 

“Well, you see. I accidentally shot you down from the sky with my bow, because I saw you and got scared, I thought you were a predator and defended myself before properly looking,” meekly, the elf mumbled out an explanation. 

Jan felt herself stifling a giggle at how adorable the person in front of her was. She looked too nervous for Jan to want to poke fun at her, but the way she blushed, the tips of her pointy ears turning pink, was too cute. Although the situation wasn’t good, the pixie couldn’t help but stare, taking in every aspect of the pretty girl.

Oh no. She couldn’t be—

Jan blinked a few times, shaking the thought from her head before it could finish. The idea of emotionally bonding with some random person who accidentally injured her was ridiculous. She was cute, it didn’t go any deeper than that. She also was the reason Jan couldn’t keep her balance right now, yet that seemed the furthest worry from her mind. 

“It’s fine, I’m not that hurt.” A skeptical look made Jan laugh, although being hit by an arrow was painful, she hadn’t had too many bad injuries. Minus the pain all over her body, but that wasn’t a problem when her attention was focused on something; or rather, someone else. 

Before their conversation could continue, a loud bang startled the pair. Jan felt the pulling sensation even stronger now. 

Something was demanding her attention. 

She had to follow it; her body decided that for her. She walked out of the house with the panicked elf quickly pacing after her. Jan idly wondered if she was always so panicky, or if this was something far too out of her comfort zone, leaving her almost unable to function. 

“Wait, it’s here! Her!” A high pitched squeak of a voice spoke far too loudly for someone of her size. In a flash of yellow, Lemon fluttered in front of Jan. 

Their expressions mirrored each other, shock and confusion soon morphing into excitement, upon realising their shared species. It was one of the first times Lemon had truly been left speechless. 

“So you’re the one who gave me that feeling? You’re a strong little thing.” Jan inspected the small creature in front of her. Lemon only shrugged in response, not too aware of exactly what was happening, intrigued nonetheless. There was something about the soft lilac eyes and hair of the girl in front of her, that made her feel comfortable. 

Lemon shifted into her human form, staring Jan down much in the same way she had just done. She couldn’t figure it out, but the woman had a comforting energy. It reminded her of something she hadn’t felt in a long time, but she couldn’t let herself linger on that thought. 

----

“So, you’ve never met another pixie?” Jan stared at Lemon in shock, the raw energy emanating from her being completely untrained was almost inconceivable. Lemon shrugged, not seeing it as a huge deal, despite her excitement to meet another pixie.

“Yeah, I mean, I grew up around fairies, so it’s kind of similar, but I don’t know much about pixies.”

“Well, we need to make up for lost time! I bet you barely know how to use your powers. You can teleport and levitate things, but can you feel emotions, or sense energy? You’re close enough with Juice to connect with her if you tried. I’m not sure how it would work between a pixie and a fairy, rather than two pixies, but it’s definitely possible.”

“Connect? How so?”

“It’s just a thing pixies do; we get close enough to someone and a link develops. It can be trained to sense general energies, but you’re tied to the energy of another person. So, you could be able to feel Juice’s feelings, and reach a deeper understanding of each other.”

“That sounds so cool! How do I do it? What else can I do? Can you teach me?” Lemon’s eyes sparkled with so much excitement, that Jan felt herself soften; Lemon was so earnestly energetic and eager to learn that saying no wasn’t an option. 

Juice watched on with a smile—Lemon finding another pixie was something she’d mentioned wanting to do in a passing conversation, since she knew so little about herself. There was something about seeing her so happy that made her heart squeeze, Lemon deserved so much more than what she got. 

Lemon was incredible, although Juice couldn’t find the words to communicate it. She wouldn’t admit how much she adored the little troublemaker, but she would never stop being thankful she met that idiot. 

Rock nervously approached Juice, feeling they had similar energies. The fairy jolted in shock at a soft greeting, but they soon got into a conversation about the pixies. Juice was happy to share what it was like to be close to one, as Rock realised that Jan was likely to stick around. She would find it hard to leave for the time being due to her injuries; the elf quietly hoped to herself that she would stay. 

Juice quickly found a kinship with the elf based on their shared awkwardness when it came to social interactions; her anxieties settled as she realised the elf had the same issues. Their discussions flowed surprisingly easily, as they waited for the two pixies to calm down their enthusiasm. 

“So, is the intense energy just a pixie thing?” Rock cocked her head, curiously glancing between the pair and Juice. 

“It must be, Lemon doesn’t know how to sit still—he’s always got to be doing something, or she’ll complain about being bored. It’s kind of fun, though; she keeps things exciting.” Juice’s eyes fell back onto an excited Lemon, her face growing into an involuntary soft smile. 

Rock noticed something in the way the smaller girl looked at her, but decided not to mention it. It wasn’t her place to comment.

“Juice! Jan’s gonna teach me how to use my powers, isn’t that cool?” Lemon giddily bounced back to her friend, eyes gleaming with such excitement, Juice felt her heart warm with how happy she seemed. 

Lemon deserved so much more than she got, and Juice was going to do everything she could to make sure that happened. 

[vexedtonightmares]

with great power (elu spiderman au)

eliott has been saved by spiderman quite a few times for absolutely no reason. hopeless romantic that he is, eliott accidentally starts falling for spiderman somewhere along the way and doesn’t know what to do about it. obviously, there’s only one solution. he and his good friend lucas should pretend to date to make spiderman jealous. there’s no ulterior motives here, of course, just lucas helping a bro out.

aka eliott’s falling in love with spiderman, lucas is in love with eliott, and lucas is spiderman.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

ao3

no. 8 “We should talk.”

They hadn’t talked about how their PDA around their friends would change now that they were officially dating for real, but considering the looks they were getting, they probably should have. Yann, of course, knew everything, so he accepted it with a conspiratorial wink, but Arthur and Basile kept pretending to vomit and looking at them like they’d each grown an extra head. 

Maybe they could lay off the PDA a little, but truthfully Eliott didn’t care all that much. He wanted everyone to know how much he loved Lucas, and he hoped Lucas felt the same. Scratch that, he knew Lucas felt the same, and still couldn’t believe his luck.

He was currently sitting with Lucas and the girls in the foyer, Lucas’ head in his lap as they talked about whatever plans Daphné had concocted for some weekend coming up. Eliott didn’t know if he and Lucas would join, but he stayed somewhat engaged with the conversation, zoning out every once and a while to play with Lucas’ hair. 

“Why don’t you do that with my hair?” Daphné pouted, turning to look at Manon and resting her head on Manon’s shoulder. As Manon laughed and dropped a kiss onto her forehead Lucas sat up so fast Eliott barely had time to register his absence. 

“Why doesn’t who do what with what now?” Lucas asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. Eliott bit back a smirk, meeting Imane’s eyes across their group. A new development, apparently, was that Manon and Daphné were now dating. Eliott only knew about it because he’d been the first to show up at the foyer, well, not the first technically, because the two of them were already there making out. He would have told Lucas, but in the end the three of them agreed it would be funnier not to. 

Manon sighed melodramatically, crossing her legs. “That’ll be the last time I show any sort of PDA with my girlfriend, then,” she said, and Eliott couldn’t help but laugh. He’d almost forgotten that’s how Lucas decided to tell their friends that they were (fake) dating. 

Lucas opened his mouth in shock, then narrowed his eyes when he realized Eliott didn’t look shocked at all. “You knew?”

“Not mine to tell,” he said, miming zipping his lips.

Lucas scrunched his nose up and huffed. Eliott fell in love all over again. “Just for that no kisses until after school.”

“Nooo…” Eliott pleaded playfully, knowing Lucas’ resolve wouldn’t hold up under his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. Lucas looked away with another huff, crossing his arms. Eliott poked his head around and continued with the puppy dog eyes, because really he just had to be patient. Lucas was a stubborn little shit, but he always caved to Eliott, even when they were just friends. Eliott saw the corner of Lucas’ mouth start to lift and he knew he won. 

“Fine,” Lucas said, “But only because you’re so cute.”

Eliott grinned cheesily, squinting his eyes and scrunching up his nose. “Oh, fuck you,” Lucas whispered as he leaned in for a kiss, continuing when they broke apart. “You can’t do shit like that and expect me to not want to rip your clothes off right here, right now.”

“Do shit like what? Smile?” 

“Yes.”

Eliott smiled again, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Lucas rolled his eyes half heartedly, leaning back in for another kiss, clearly forgetting he claimed resistance not so long ago.

“Ugh, we get it, you guys are as annoyingly adorable as Manon and Daphné. Now can you please either get a room or wait until I rinse my eyes with bleach to continue?” Emma groaned, shoving her face into Alexia’s shoulder, who patted her head sympathetically. 

Imane pointed between the two of them. “Don’t you two go hooking up now, I can’t deal with three sets of disaster gays.”

Emma laughed into Alexia’s shoulder while Alexia shrugged, pretending to consider. “No promises,” she said, “But only because you don’t swing my way Imane.”

“Hey, who said I do?” Emma asked, poking her head up. 

“Literally all of us,” Manon answered, everyone in the group nodding in agreement. Emma seemed ok with this, simply shrugging and laying her head back down on Alexia’s shoulder. 

Daphné cleared her throat then, clearly trying to bring their attention back to whatever they had actually met there for in the first place. Lucas settled his head back into Eliott’s lap and Eliott turned his attention to her, pretending it was possible for him to think about anything other than the beautiful boy looking up at him with such adoration.

“Next weekend,” Daphné continued, blushing lightly as Manon folded their hands together, “Party of the century!”

“Do explain,” Alexia prompted, bolstering Daphné’s confidence. 

“I mean, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since we’ve had a good party?” When none of them answered Daphné sighed, pouting. “Yes, Daphné, it has been a while, please tell us your idea,” she said to herself, glaring at each of them in turn. 

“Yes, Daphné, it has been a while, please tell us your idea,” Manon repeated, allowing Daphné to soften. Did Eliott look like that all the time around Lucas? He was almost certain he did, and probably had longer than he realized. 

Daphné sat up a bit straighter, spreading her arms wide. “Secret. Foyer. Party.”

“Secret… foyer… party,” Imane clarified, with much less enthusiasm. 

“Come on, guys! I thought you’d be more excited!” Daphné exclaimed a bit angrily. 

“Whooo!” Lucas raised his fist and pumped it in the air. “Secret foyer party!”

“Thank you!” 

Eliott dropped his eyes and caught the end of Lucas’ shit eating grin. He jostled Lucas’ head with his knees, nodding in Daphné’s direction. She was not someone to be messed with, even though she looked soft and sweet. Lucas just laughed and pulled Eliott’s face down for another kiss. Eliott wasn’t upset about it.

“I’m thinking the theme will be ‘infiltration’,” Daphné said, clearly proud of herself. 

Manon narrowed her eyes. “You have an ulterior motive.”

Daphné scoffed, drawing her hand back and crossing her arms. “I do not.”

“Yes, you do,” Manon argued, still smiling serenely. “I know you Daph. Quite well, I might add.”

“Ewwww gross, Manon,” Lucas whined jokingly.

“You literally have your head in Eliott’s lap.”

“And what about it?”

“Guys!” Daphné clapped. “Infiltration!”

Emma humored her. “What exactly does infiltration entail, Daphné?”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Daphné paused dramatically, making sure everyone’s eyes were on her. “Since it will be a secret foyer party, we’ll all be dressed in masks and espionage themed outfits. Plus some neon, because I bought a blacklight, and I won’t let it go to waste.”

As far as themes went, it wasn’t the worst one Eliott had ever heard, even if it was a little out of nowhere.  

Alexia leaned to the middle of their makeshift circle and stage whispered, “She chose this theme because she wants Spiderman to come.”

“Alexia!” Daphné gasped angrily, but Eliott’s attention wasn’t on her. It was on Lucas, who tensed, jaw clenching in a way that couldn’t have been comfortable. Eliott wondered if he harbored any ill will towards Spiderman, given that he’d been the object of Eliott’s desire in the first place. 

“Spiderman is not going to come,” Imane said boredly, yet sternly. 

“He might,” Lucas said with the same blasé tone. 

“He won’t,” Imane said, even more adamantly, and Lucas rolled his eyes. Eliott felt like he was missing something, and he could tell the rest of the girls felt the same way. 

“So, what do you need us for?” Manon cut in cheerfully, breaking up the tension that had somehow built up. Eliott really hoped it wasn’t there because Lucas hated Spiderman or something. Sure, Eliott didn’t like him like that anymore, but he was still a pretty cool dude. 

Daphné bit her lip, shrugging. “I don’t know yet. I still haven’t figured out how we’ll be able to get in here over the weekend.”

“Ah, leave that to me,” Alexia said, not elaborating further. Daphné seemed to decide to take her word for it and she moved on turning to, of all people, Eliott. 

“You’re an artist.” It was a statement, and Eliott didn’t know what response she desired. 

“I am…?” 

Her eyes brightened again. “Can you make a cool mural or something that will glow under blacklight? Something ‘infiltration’ themed, obviously. But like, discreet enough that the headmaster won’t realize it’s for a secret party?”

He considered this, though it wasn’t like he could really say no. Maybe he could rope Lucas into helping him. “Sure,” he decided.

Daphné clapped excitedly. “This is going to be the greatest party ever!”

Eliott sure hoped so, but if not at least he could escape somewhere with Lucas and have an even better time. He recalled the last party the two of them had gone to together and how even then he’d felt a bit overwhelmed with the urge to kiss Lucas, not understanding why. At least now he wouldn’t have to hold back, and he knew exactly why he wanted to do it. 

🕷🕷🕷🕷

Eliott was trying really hard not to be worried about Lucas. This was the third time he’d flaked on their plans, which wasn’t a big deal because they had just seen each other all day at school, but Eliott was still uneasy. It was either this or he would randomly have to leave in the middle of hanging out, but Mika and Manon were none the wiser to his whereabouts either.

Eliott checked his phone again, wondering if he watched it long enough he would get an explanation. As if summoned by his thoughts, a text from Lucas came in and he read it right away. 

Lucas: Sorry for being The Worst

Eliott: shut up dummy 

Eliott: as if you could ever be the worst

Lucas: I’ve just been so flakey lately, and I’m sorry :(

Eliott: just give me extra kisses tomorrow and all will be forgiven ;) 

Lucas: I’ll do you one better

Eliott: ???

Eliott only had a moment to wonder what Lucas meant before he heard a tap on his window. Lucas’ stupid beautiful face was sticking his tongue out at him from outside, and Eliott rushed over to open the window.

“What the hell?” he laughed as Lucas clambered through the window. 

Lucas shrugged, grinning goofily. “I figured I’d spice things up.”

“Climbing four floors up the fire escape isn't my definition of ‘spicing things up’, but to each their own,” Eliott said, pressing a kiss to the top of Lucas’ head.

“Hey,” Lucas said, when Eliott walked back over to close the window. He turned around, question in his eyes. “I love you,” Lucas continued, and Eliott had no choice but to take long steps across the room and sweep Lucas up in his arms. 

He pressed kisses to Lucas’ hairline, his temples, his forehead, his nose, and finally his lips. “You’re so beautiful,” he said between kisses, “And I love you too. More than you know.”

Lucas shook his head, wrinkling his nose up at Eliott as if he wasn’t enjoying every moment of affection, and it only made Eliott want to kiss him even more. Eliott knocked their foreheads together gently, arms resting on Lucas’ shoulders. “Want to make copious amounts of popcorn and watch the greatest movie of the decade?” he asked.

Lucas raised one eyebrow. “And which movie is that again?”

“La La Land,” Eliott answered, because the answer should have been obvious. Granted, this wasn’t the first time he and Lucas had watched ‘the greatest movie of the decade’, because Eliott’s favorites changed rather often.

“The musical?” Lucas clarified, distaste written on his face. 

Eliott scoffed in offense, releasing his hold on Lucas and going over to grab his laptop. “Yes, the musical, but that’s not all it is. It’s a story about love and chasing your dreams!”

“But they don’t end up together,” Lucas complained, going into the kitchen and putting a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

Eliott whipped around to face him. “Who told you that?”

Lucas giggled, looking completely unfazed that he’d been spoiled for the ending of the movie. “You did?”

Oh, well, that was Eliott’s bad then. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure he remembered coming home from the movie for the first time and calling Lucas immediately, dying to talk about it with someone. He’d seen a lot of himself in both Mia and Sebastian, but he’d seen a little bit of Lucas in them too. All the small— but at the same time glaringly obvious— signs he’d been in love with Lucas all this time kept showing up, didn’t they. 

“I’m certain I didn’t tell you everything, though,” Eliott countered, even though he very well might have. He’d never really expected Lucas to listen when he talked about things like musicals and cinematography.

The timer went off on the microwave, and Lucas poked his head out of the kitchen to gaze at Eliott so softly Eliott’s heart contracted in on itself. “Even if you did, we both know I’m going to watch La La Land with you and I’m going to love it despite pretending I won’t.”

“Have I mentioned recently that I love you?” Eliott asked sincerely, despite Lucas’ answering snicker. 

“Once or twice, maybe,” Lucas said, followed by a sharp curse as he likely burnt himself on the popcorn bag trying to pour it into a bowl. Eliott smiled to himself, because this happened every time Lucas made popcorn for the two of them, somehow never learning from the past. A second later Lucas appeared with a massive bowl of popcorn and a wild smile. 

“Where to?”

Eliott nodded towards his bedroom, and Lucas blushed, despite the fact they’d been there together a million and a half times. It wasn’t like there was ever any pressure to do anything, but the opportunity was always there, hovering above both of their heads. It used to be unattainable, but now all they had to do was reach out and touch. So, Eliott did, brushing his fingers against the back of one of Lucas’ hands before making his way to his bedroom, looking over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised. 

A few kisses later, the bowl of popcorn sat between the two of them on the bed, serving as a buffer of sorts. It wasn’t that Eliott didn’t want to forget about the movie and kiss Lucas senseless, but he had to practice some form of self control. Plus, he was going to get Lucas to like La La Land even if it was the death of him. 

Still, the air was charged, and Eliott was pretty sure he spent more time watching Lucas than the movie. He couldn’t help himself, it was like he was discovering all these new things, loving each one more than the last. 

The blue of Lucas’ eyes had always been his favorite color, little oceans determined to make Eliott lose his balance until he fell overboard. His hair was a little bit longer than it had been in a while, but Eliott loved it, fingers dancing as they remembered the way the silky strands felt in his hands while they kissed. Lucas was also way more muscular than Eliott ever remembered him being, which wasn’t a bad thing, just surprising. Though Lucas had said he’d been going to the gym more often, so he supposed his efforts were paying off. If Eliott was being honest, he found it kind of hot even if it did make him feel a little inadequate.

“For someone who wanted to watch this movie, you’re not doing much watching,” Lucas hummed, still looking at the screen, but he had a knowing smirk on his face. 

Eliott was unperturbed by the fact Lucas had caught him staring. “I can’t help it when you look so beautiful.”

He saw Lucas’ breath catch, even though he knew Lucas would go on as if Eliott’s words hadn’t affected him in the slightest. As predicted, Lucas sighed, continuing, “I’m beautiful all the time.”

“Oh you think this is a one time thing?” Eliott asked with a small laugh. “Good luck ever getting me to stop staring at you and your beauty.”

Lucas groaned, but he didn’t seem too upset. “Romantic fuck,” was all he said before moving the (now empty) popcorn bowl out of the way and pulling Eliott to him. 

Between kisses Lucas shook his head, sighing again but this time in a lovesick sort of way. Eliott thought it was so adorable he could hardly breathe. “I’m the one who’s been pining all this time, I should be the one with the grand romantic statements,” Lucas complained, and Eliott giggled.

“You remember who I am, right? No one can out romance me,” Eliott said, brushing strands of Lucas’ hair behind his ears as he held either side of his face. 

“Is that a challenge?” Lucas asked, voice barely a whisper as he pressed his lips to Eliott’s once more. Eliott merely hummed in response, deepening their kiss and moving his hands from Lucas’ face to his chest. Lucas grinned into Eliott’s mouth, meeting Eliott’s hands with his own and using them to pull his shirt off. Eliott’s own shirt was quick to follow and suddenly Eliott was on top of Lucas, pushing him down onto the bed. Lucas’ hands trailed down the bare skin of Eliott’s back and Eliott nearly shivered as Lucas’ fingertips brushed his spine.

His hands fiddled with the button on Lucas’ jeans when Lucas opened his eyes abruptly, as if someone had shocked him. All the hairs on his arms looked like they were standing on end. Eliott sat back immediately, eyes searching Lucas’ face.

“Is everything ok?” he asked. They’d gone farther than that before… he hoped Lucas wasn’t uncomfortable. 

The panicked expression on Lucas’ face softened a bit, and he brushed a hand down Eliott’s cheek. “Yeah, yeah, sorry, it’s not about you, or this, I just… I have to go.”

“But you just got here,” Eliott said, confused. 

“I know.” Lucas twisted his lips, biting the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to leave, but there’s something I have to do.”

The warmth in Eliott’s chest went away as quickly as it had come, and he rolled off the bed, finding Lucas’ discarded shirt on the floor and tossing it to him. “Ok. Um, see you tomorrow? Painting the mural?”

A million emotions flickered over Lucas’ features, too quick for Eliott to discern any of them. “Yeah, tomorrow,” he agreed, pausing with his shirt in his hands. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, Lucas,” Eliott assured him, because it was fine, he was just confused. If it wasn’t anything he’d done, what was the problem? Lucas looked at him, love in his eyes, crossing the room to pull Eliott into a blinding kiss that, by the time Eliott recovered from it, Lucas was gone.

He was gone without a trace it seemed, and when Eliott left his bedroom to see if Lucas was at the door all he saw was an empty flat, draft coming from the open window. He must have forgotten to close it when Lucas came in. When he tried to close it, his hand brushed against something sticky and he retracted it as if he’d been burned, leaning down to inspect.

It looked like a spiderweb… Great, he definitely needed spiders roaming about in his apartment. It was ironic that he’d had a minor crush on Spiderman when he hated actual spiders more than anything, but Spiderman wasn’t an actual spider, so. 

The night breeze felt kind of nice, actually, so Eliott stepped out onto his fire escape, admiring the city from this point of view. He wished Lucas was still there to admire it with him, but he’d settle for a joint at the present moment. Luckily, he had one handy, so he lit it with the lighter Lucas had gotten him on a whim one time because the one he’d had forever had stopped working and let his thoughts mull around in his mind. 

They strayed to Lucas, because Lucas had been a permanent fixture in his mind for years, but their new relationship had expanded that tenfold. As long as Eliott had known him, Lucas had never been one to forget plans or bail early with little to no excuse, so his forgetfulness lately confused Eliott a little bit. Sure, everyone had things going on, but the secrecy and lack of explanation was a bit suspicious, if Eliott was being honest with himself. He didn’t know if Lucas didn’t trust him, or if he just left without explanations because Eliott never demanded one. 

He blew smoke through his nose, stubbing out the joint after only a few hits, too in his head to enjoy it properly. It wasn’t like his plans for the night had been ruined, because he hadn’t had plans until Lucas showed up at his window with that goofy, intoxicating grin of his, but now he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed regardless, wishing Lucas was there so they could ‘accidentally’ fall asleep together and cuddle all night long. 

He stumbled back into his flat through the window, wondering how Lucas had come in so gracefully and went straight to his fridge as if it may grant him the answers to the universe. It didn’t, but he did realize he was out of milk, eggs, and beer, so he decided there was no time like the present to run out to the store and stock up on those essentials. 

On his way out he realized he was still missing his favorite brown jacket, the one he’d lent to Spiderman all that time ago. He wondered if he’d ever get it back, wondered if he’d ever even see Spiderman again. It wasn’t a problem if he didn’t, but it was a bit strange how after they’d kissed Spiderman had seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. Or out of Eliott’s life, at the very least. He was all over the city from what Eliott had seen on social media and the news. Hell, he’d probably even show up to Daphné’s party. 

The store was only about a block away from Eliott’s flat, so the lack of jacket wasn’t too noticeable, but there was still a chill in the air he hadn’t felt in its entirety out on his balcony. There were quite a few people hovering around the store, many more than Eliott saw on a regular daily basis, and Eliott wondered why. 

People were whispering to one another, passing phones and trying to get a better view over one another and Eliott caught the barest hints of their conversations as he wove his way through the throng of people.

“Did you see—?”

“That was insane!”

“How did Spiderman get here so quickly?”

Eliott stopped where he stood, turning to the person that had just spoken. “Did you say Spiderman?”

The girl in question smirked, raising her eyebrows. “Where have you been? Spiderman just came out of nowhere and stopped a robbery in progress inside the store. I don’t know how he knew so quickly… he’s so fearless, too, the robber had a gun on him and he just dodged every bullet without breaking a sweat. Well, maybe he did break a sweat, but with the suit you can’t really tell…” she trailed off, and Eliott stopped paying attention, pushing back through the way he’d come. A sense of urgency had overtaken him, and he figured Spiderman might still be close by so they could at least have a conversation. Maybe it wasn’t the best time, but Eliott was tired of waiting.

He almost ran past his building when a blur of red and blue caught his eye from the fire escape. He skidded to a halt, blinking up at the figure looking through his window. “Spiderman?” he called out, then realized he should lower his voice a bit. “Spiderman?”

That unreadable gaze turned to face him, and Spiderman froze like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. Eliott went to the base of the fire escape, but Spiderman jumped down with ease before Eliott could even begin to ascend the many stairs. 

“What are you doing here?” Eliott asked.

“Stopping a robbery,” Spiderman said, completely casually, as if he hadn’t just been peering through Eliott’s window. 

Eliott sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know that. I meant what are you doing at my flat?”

Spiderman shrugged, leaning against the building. “I was in the neighborhood?”

“Hilarious, L,” Eliott said, massaging his temples with one hand.

Spiderman stumbled, masked voice coming out a bit shaky. “What did you just call me?”

Eliott furrowed his brows, then blushed as he realized his slip of the tongue. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. Well, I do, it’s the nickname I have for my boyfriend, but I don’t know why I just called you that. Habit, maybe.” He shrugged apologetically. “Sorry.”

Spiderman didn’t say anything, and Eliott wondered if he was thinking about how Eliott had technically ‘cheated’ on said boyfriend when the two of them had kissed. He debated setting the record straight, but now that he wasn’t pining after Spiderman anymore, he didn’t really see the point, it would only confuse things more. 

“So… long time no see,” Eliott tried, never knowing how to break the ice on an awkward conversation, especially when this one was so far out of anything he’d ever experienced before. 

“Yeah,” Spiderman agreed, settling back against the wall again. “Sorry about that.”

Eliott shook his head. “Don’t be, I just wanted to see you one last time, to clarify things.”

Spiderman cocked his head to one side. “Oh?”

“When you kissed me, I was more shocked than anything,” Eliott admitted, “And sure, it was a good kiss, but I need you to know that I’m very, very, in love with my boyfriend.”

“I’m sure he’s fantastic,” Spiderman agreed, and Eliott didn’t quite know if he was being sarcastic or not. 

Eliott coughed, offering, “We can still be, like, friends, though. If you want. You’re still a pretty great person. Or spider-person, or whatever.”

“What would your boyfriend say about that?” Spiderman asked.

Eliott laughed, thinking about Lucas’ reaction in his mind. He was pretty sure that they were confident enough in their feelings for one another that it wouldn’t matter. He was also pretty sure Spiderman wouldn’t hang around him as much now that there was nothing between them, so it wouldn’t really even be a problem. Something told him that Lucas would like Spiderman, though, if they ever met.

“I really don’t think he’d be too worried about it. We can all hang out together, if you want,” he suggested, knowing that was probably pushing it a bit far, but wanting to show Spiderman how serious he was about his relationship with Lucas. The look Spiderman gave him was somewhere between belief and disbelief, or maybe he was just reading too far into things given what he could discern from the mask. 

“Eliott,” Spiderman said, taking a step towards him, “I’m sorry.”

That was not what he had been expecting. “Sorry? For what?”

“All the things I want to tell you,” Spiderman said. He looked down at his hands, at his suit. “Your boyfriend is one lucky guy.”

He started to walk away, but Eliott stopped him, placing a hand on his arm. He was too confused to just let him walk away again. “You can tell me anything, I swear I won’t tell a soul unless you want me to.”

But Spiderman just shook his head. “You’d never forgive me.”

“I bet I would.”

“Don’t say that, please.” Spiderman tore his arm from Eliott’s grip, pausing and looking up at him. “I’d say ‘see you around’, but I think it’d be best if we both forgot about each other.”

“What are you so afraid of?” Eliott asked genuinely. He knew where he stood with his feelings, and even if Spiderman maybe liked him, it was clear to both of them that was never going to happen, especially when Spiderman wouldn’t even remove his mask fully to kiss Eliott.

Spiderman laughed, like the question had been funny. “Oh, El. Everything,” he said, shooting a web to the top of the building next to Eliott’s apartment and swinging out of sight before Eliott even had a chance to respond. Instead, he stood in the alley alone, more confused than ever.

L🕷U🕷C🕷A🕷S

He’d been stupid, going back to Eliott’s place, but every decision he made was stupid when it came to Eliott, so he hadn’t thought it through at the time. Now he couldn’t stop overthinking every word he’d said. Eliott had looked so puzzled, so lost, and Lucas knew that his words were probably coming from a million different directions and causing more confusion than closure.

He’d called Eliott El, and Eliott had called him L, but he prayed the former had gone unnoticed. There was a part of him that worried Eliott still yearned for the hero that he thought Spiderman was, that he’d leave Lucas in a heartbeat if there was a chance of something more between them. 

(He knew this was stupid, that he was Spiderman, and Eliott couldn’t very well leave him for him, but Lucas rationalized that Eliott could, in fact, leave him for the idea of him.)

As he’d sat with Eliott, watching a movie that pretty much encapsulated all the things Eliott loved about cinema, and realized that this was real, they were really together, he’d wanted to stay in that moment forever. But, of course, when his ‘spider senses’, as Yann called them, tingled and he knew that something wasn’t right, the moment was broken. 

He wished he’d never been bitten by that stupid spider, and immediately felt guilty for wishing so. How selfish was he, that he’d sacrifice such an amazing thing that could help so many people just for the chance at being Eliott’s forever? 

Eliott hadn’t texted him at all after he’d left, both as Lucas and as Spiderman. Lucas didn’t know how to feel about that, and he hoped he hadn’t messed with Eliott’s thoughts too much. The last thing he needed was for Eliott to tell him that he was in love with Spiderman again.

He still felt guilty for leaving, too, even though he’d known he had to. There had been a possibility that something really bad could have happened, and how could he claim the title of ‘superhero’ if he’d ignored it? Granted, he hated the title of superhero, but if he had to wear it he may as well live up to it. 

Things had been a bit precarious as of late, since he’d found Eliott in that abandoned building. The building had disappeared overnight, which shouldn’t have been possible, and he couldn’t get the image of the faceless man out of his mind. It felt like something was brewing, something bigger than him, and he was about to get caught in the crossfire. He didn’t sign up for this shit, he didn’t sign up for any of it, really, but movie supervillains come to life were not what he���d been expecting when he’d first donned his mask and suit. Was the world really so bad that when it gave someone the power to make a positive change it also created someone hell bent on doing the opposite? Did the man he’d fought at the eiffel tower have something to do with all of this too? 

Lucas pushed the thoughts from his mind, not willing to entertain them any longer, especially on his way to meet Eliott. He’d talk it all over with Imane and Yann later, they were much better at this whole thing than he was. If Imane was Spiderman (or woman, he supposed) Lucas was nearly certain that she’d never have made this many messes, and if she did, she’d know just how to clean them up.   

The worst part was that he’d really been so good at keeping Spiderman and Lucas separate (at least for the most part, upside down kiss aside) but the more time went on the more lines blurred and he didn’t know how long he’d be able to keep this up, all the secrecy. It was one thing to lie to millions of people you didn’t know, it was quite another to lie to the one person you loved more than anything.

Yann kept telling him to tell Eliott the truth, and Imane kept threatening to tell Eliott the truth herself if he didn’t get his head out of his ass, but he knew she would never actually do something like that. He also knew that they were both right, but what constituted the correct circumstances to say such a thing?

Eliott was already in the foyer when Lucas opened the door, completely lost in his thoughts. Lucas hardly registered Eliott’s presence until he was greeted by a soft kiss on the forehead, something that was pretty unusual given his new abilities. It was hard to surprise him anymore, but he did have a lot on his mind, and his guard was always down around Eliott. 

Eliott still didn’t seem like Eliott, though, and it worried Lucas. Normally, he would have rattled off a list of ideas for the mural right off the bat, but instead he went back to stand in front of the wall in silence, looking pensive. Lucas shrugged off his jacket and shoes and went to stand beside him. 

Honestly, it was a wonder Eliott had never taken his height difference with both Spiderman and Lucas into account when he was searching for Spiderman’s identity. Then again, Lucas didn’t even know if Eliott had ever actively sought out Spiderman’s identity. He knew that he would have, but he knew that Eliott probably cared more about respecting Spiderman’s wishes than discovering who he was under the mask. Lucas wasn’t sure how that made him feel. On one hand, it was nice to know how caring and considerate Eliott was, how respectful he was of others even when it didn’t benefit him. On the other, would Eliott really have been satisfied with a love like that? Sure, love was blind, and Lucas would have had to tell him eventually, but did he really not care who was under the mask, did he really think it wouldn’t make a difference? 

“We should talk,” Eliott said, and Lucas stiffened involuntarily. There it was, everything was about to come crashing down.

Lucas couldn’t bring his eyes to meet Eliott’s. “About what?”

“I, um, had a run in with Spiderman last night,” Eliott said, and Lucas did his best to look confused.

“Oh?” What else was there to say?

From the corner of his eye, Lucas saw Eliott lift his hand to his lips, running his fingers back and forth across his lips, a nervous habit he’d always had. “It was kind of confusing, if I’m being honest,” Eliott admitted, and Lucas squeezed his eyes shut.

“If you’re going to break up with me, Eliott, just do it,” he said defeatedly, not wanting to drag things out longer than necessary. He risked a glance at Eliott and saw that he looked completely taken aback. 

“Wha— Why would I break up with you?” Eliott asked.

“Because you love him more than me.” Because you love the fearless, heroic version of me more than the one you’ve known for years. The one that’s shared every vulnerability, every flaw. 

“Lucas—” Eliott reached out to him and Lucas took a step back. Eliott looked hurt, and Lucas didn’t know why. He was the one that should have been hurting. “Lucas, I’m not breaking up with you.”

Now it was Lucas’ turn to blink in surprise. “What?”

“I love you,” Eliott reminded him, but Lucas’ insecurities had taken the better of him, and he’d dug himself into an impossible hole. 

“Yeah, for now. But a week ago you were in love with Spiderman. How do I know I’m not just the person right in front of you, the one you love because you think it’ll fulfill you until the superhero is yours for the taking?” Lucas asked. 

Eliott rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? I don’t half ass love, I could never.”

“That’s what you think, but—”

“Well, what about you, huh?” Eliott demanded, going on the offensive. “When we’re together, it’s everything, and I feel every bit of love you have to share, but then you leave, you leave, and you leave. Or you don’t show up. Or you’re god knows where with god knows who at all hours of the day and night and I’m just expected to sit back and say nothing because it’s your life, but I’m a bigger part of that now, whether you like it or not, so when you leave and don’t show up and disappear I don’t know what to do.”

Well, fuck. “Well sorry for not telling you my location every second of the day, last I checked you were my boyfriend, not my father.” Well, double fuck. Why did he never know when to stop talking? 

“You’re impossible,” Eliott said, shaking his head and looking away. He’d said it a million times before, usually accompanied with a laugh or a fond look. Never this cold, never this serious. Lucas didn’t like fighting, especially with Eliott, but he’d been holding back so many things recently, keeping so many secrets from so many people, that he got needlessly defensive to avoid spilling them all.

He was scared that he would say something he’d regret, or spill a secret he wasn’t ready to spill, so he clamped his mouth shut, dipped his brush in paint, and flung it at Eliott. 

Eliott stumbled back in shock, and Lucas hoped his added strength hadn’t made it hurt at all. Eliott’s fingers traced the paint that now adorned the left side of his face and shoulder, and his expression turned from shocked to indignant. 

Lucas saw it coming, not only because of his spider senses, but also because he knew that when he reacted, Eliott exhibited an equal or opposite reaction, just like Newton stated. This reaction was going to be equal. 

Sure enough, he got a swipe of blue paint right across his forehead. This probably would have been sexy, under other circumstances, and Lucas hoped that a parallel version of himself got to have a sexy paint fight with Eliott rather than this petty one. 

They both completely disregarded the task at hand, even dropping their brushes and grabbing as much paint as their hands could hold before throwing it at each other. In the back of his mind, Lucas knew that he could have just apologized, that he should have just apologized. 

Though, he had to admit that a paint fight was an excellent way to release pent up tension. He thought he saw a little spark of light in Eliott’s eyes, like maybe he wasn’t actually mad, but it only made Lucas throw the paint a little harder. Fuck Eliott for being so perfect all the time.

Paint was flying from every angle in every color, and Lucas also knew that, frustrated as he may have been, Eliott’s brain was taking it’s time to appreciate the art in what they were doing too, the ways the colors mixed and how they landed and blended on skin, clothes, the floor beneath them. If he had been more artistically inclined, Lucas probably would have been appreciating it too.   

“What the hell is going on here?” someone screeched and Lucas and Eliott both froze mid throw, turning to the door with wide eyes. Daphné was looking at the two of them in utter dismay, the rest of the girls behind her. 

“Lucas started it,” Eliott said.

“Eliott’s being a dick,” Lucas said.

“Eliott was trying to have a conversation.”

“Lucas doesn’t give a shit.”

“Maybe Lucas should give a shit.”

Despite knowing that the girls were all standing there watching, Lucas lifted a paint can with ease, dumping its contents on Eliott. Eliott wiped his eyes, looking a little bit more angry now, but before he could retaliate, Imane ran in and stood between the two, holding her hands out and giving them each a disapproving glare, Lucas especially. She probably knew that this argument had stemmed from Lucas unwillingness to be truthful with Eliott. 

“Don’t make me,” she hissed under her breath to Lucas, not having to say more than that for him to get the point. She said something to Eliott too, but Lucas couldn’t hear it. Whatever it was Eliott deflated, anger leaving his eyes. He dropped the paint can he’d been holding with a loud thud, shaking his hair slightly to get rid of excess paint before grabbing his shoes off the floor and storming out of the room. 

Lucas was tempted to do the same, but Imane leveled him with another glare. “Not so fast. You’re not leaving until this mess is cleaned up.”

“Eliott got to leave,” he whined indignantly.

“Don’t test me, Lallemant.” She pointed a finger at him, shaking her head.

Lucas sighed, but obeyed her instructions. He owed her, Daphné, and Eliott that much. He and Eliott both probably needed a little bit of space, anyway, because apparently the two of them trying to talk ended in paint wars. 

Maybe his life would be better if he just shut up for a change. A lot of people’s lives probably would be, Eliott’s included. Funny how he could be a hero and a disaster at the same time. Hopefully that disaster wouldn’t start trickling into his heroic façade, that really would just be the icing on top of the cake, wouldn’t it?

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 11: Stitches

(Don’t give up.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 11: Stitches

Word Count: 1686

Relationships: logince (pre-relationship)

Warnings: Splitting stitches, stab wound (no actual stabbing occurs in this fic! he only breaks the stitches in a still-healing previous injury), blood, mentioned transphobia/transphobic bigotry, cursing, slightly delirious behaviour

A/N: i know it’s a day late. i’m awful. sorry. hopefully dumbass gay roman being smitten with trans boy logan makes up for the wait a little bit

Okay, so maybe Roman should have listened to Patton when he said not to strain himself. And maybe it was a little rash of him to get up and punch the guy despite the strain it caused him. But he doesn’t regret it! Nope! He will gladly take the pain of ripped stitches any day if it means punching a transphobe in the face. 

And. Well. Maybe “pain” is a bit of an understatement, because holy shit why does it hurt so much is he dying? According to the cute boy he literally fought a bigot for despite never meeting him before in his life, no. He’ll be fine if he stops squirming, the guy says, but Roman can’t sit still when he’s literally falling in love with this cute stranger, so. Time for funeral arrangements. Maybe his new husband will come weep at his grave, bring him a single red rose to place on his tombstone. It’ll be so poetic, and it’ll be beautiful, and he’ll lay his ghostly hand on his new husband’s shoulder in comfort, and he’ll laugh at Virgil from the grave because he got a boyfriend first!

“Hey! Prince Charming! Don’t zone out on me like that,” his new husband commands, and who’s Roman to ignore such a pretty face? A pretty face, which is currently a lot closer than he anticipates, and Roman almost knocks their heads together when he jolts up in surprise. His new husband is pressing hard on his opened stitches, and although Roman’s sure he knows what he’s doing (he has glasses, and all the smart people have glasses, everyone knows that), it still hurts like a bitch. Pretty boy sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he examines Roman’s stomach, and although the small detail makes Roman’s heart go doki-doki in his chest, he can’t seem to look away from the stranger’s own sharp, focused gaze. Who gave him the right to have eyes like that? All shiny and silvery like metal, or maybe Roman’s third-favourite shade of nail polish. 

“I’ll try to wipe off some of the blood, but I can’t do much more than that, not here. It’s too unsanitary and I don’t have proper equipment. I won’t risk infection with impatience. The paramedics will take care of it,” his new husband says plainly, brushes his fingers against Roman’s side, and Roman is pretty sure he’s dying. There’s no way that this isn’t an angel. Although, Roman never expected that angels would be so… bossy. The handsome stranger instructs him to keep pressure on his side, details how exactly to hold his hands to his stained skin. Maybe he could be a little gentler about it? Especially when he puts his hands over Roman’s own, and presses harder, and draws a groan from Roman’s throat. “Oh, stop whining. It’s your fault you decided to be unnecessarily reckless for no reason.”

“Ha! For-- For no reason? I would punch that guy ‘gain for you if I h’d the chance!” Roman exclaims, slurred in pain yet loud in the buzzing energy of the outdoors cafe he's probably gonna die in. Honestly, maybe he's okay with dying right now. Yeah, he's sitting here sprawled in a cafe chair bleeding out, but he also has his new husband with him, so who's the real winner here? 

"Your new husband, huh? I wasn't aware that we were married already. Shouldn’t you at least ask your potential suitor on a date first?" the pretty stranger muses, face stoic, but there's a teasing glint in his eyes and a subtle smirk as he uses some napkins to wipe a spot of blood off of Roman's hip. The touch sends a shiver down his spine, lends itself to a sense of familiarity despite them never having met before now. Is he talking out loud? Those thoughts were supposed to stay in his head. Hopefully his new husband isn’t annoyed by long rambles at two a.m., because that’s like… Roman’s whole aesthetic. “Although, I suppose the legal and financial benefits of marriage are a positive, despite the tradition itself being an unnecessarily exorbitant game of ‘who can spend the most money and look as rich and successful as possible’ whilst perpetuating wildly amatonormative societal expectations of seeming stable to your friends and family purely through means of surface appearance. But sure, weddings are fun.”

“Haah… Y’sound like Virgil,” Roman mutters as he knocks his head back to rest on the table behind him. The handsome stranger immediately puts his cleaner hand underneath his head and lifts it up, cradling the dead weight with a small frown. “H-- Sorry, wanna… wanna sleep. Virgil a’ways says that weddings are stupid. You guys’d get along. Wait, no, that’s the worst idea I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot of shitty ideas.”

“Mm, I’m sure you have. Punching a transphobe for a stranger is definitely one to add to the list. Don’t fall asleep, Prince Charming. You’re not losing that much blood. Hey, you-- how far away are the paramedics?” And… wow. Even the way he speaks makes Roman want to snatch him up. He’s so authoritative, and obviously doesn’t take shit from anyone, and Roman could probably listen to him talk forever. He’ll be like his own personal audiobook. An ASMR YouTuber that lives in his house and shows off that amazing voice of his but also gives him cuddles because that’s what cute husbands do together. That’s the dream.

“An… ASMR YouTuber? You sure have strange priorities.”

“‘S important! Oh, hey… wha’s your name? I have to know how t’ introduce y’a to my friends. ‘Oh, hey Virgil, this is my husband… Bob McBookshelf. I got a cute boyfriend before you, give me fifty dollars.’ Y’know, like that,’ Roman asks, and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t even really know what he’s talking about anymore. He just knows that talking makes him more lucid, and his new husband told him to stay awake, so he’s going to try his best to do just that.

“Ah. Well, my name unfortunately is not Bob McBookshelf. It is Dr. Chae, professionally, but you may refer to me as Logan if you’d like,” Logan says, Dr. Chae, and Roman is taken aback. Not only is his new husband cute, and has the best voice he’s ever heard, but he’s also smart? And a doctor?!

“Woah. That’s so cool. I can’t believe I’m g’nna marry a doctor. Wait, does that mean I get your last name? Roman Chae. That sounds weird. Fits you better. Guess we don’t have to change our las’ names. And! You’re a doctor, ‘f course y’a can’t change it now. Wow… a doctor. You are the coolest person I’ve ever met. And I met Beyoncé once. She didn’t see me or talk to me, but it was still awesome. And you-- you’re a doctor. You must be suuuuuper smart. Already got a college degree ‘n’ stuff. But you… don’t look old.”

Logan’s eyes flick up to meet his, incredulity written across his face, and then it morphs into something almost fond as he lets out an amused huff of a laugh. He looks beautiful, even as he shoves his hands back on Roman’s open wound again, and Roman thinks maybe he’s a masochist or something. He should be angry at the rough treatment, but somehow, he doesn’t really care that much. Oddly enough, he trusts this stranger, his new husband, and Roman could probably get stabbed again except this time by this guy and even so he’d be the one apologizing. “I’m 24. My school experience went by very quickly.”

“Ohhhhh… you’re one of those. Those… smarty-pants people. Smarty people. Pants people. Logan, am I dying?” Roman feels delirious, and he probably is. Logan snickers quietly, smiles small and soft and-- and--  Roman has a feeling that if the blood loss doesn’t kill him, Logan’s adorable smile will. Thankfully, he can hear sirens outside, and that must mean an ambulance is here.

Wait.

“Wai-wai-wait, Log’n, why’d y’a call an ambulance? I’m fine,” Roman asks, reassures even as he moans dramatically when another stinging ache reverberates from the wound. “It hurts but I c’n take it! Had t’a… had t’a before! Got stabbed, did’ja know that? It sucked. My best friend… ex-best friend did it to me. Thought she was cool. She was… not cool. But! I don’t need a hospital. Jus’ a… just a little. Little papercut. Small. I c’n sleep it off. I’m strong.”

“You absolutely can not. You do understand that you didn’t just get stabbed, right? Your “ex-best friend” slashed at your stomach. The laceration is at least eight inches in length, who knows how deep, and you broke a majority of the stitches with the stunt you pulled. There is a very real possibility of you bleeding out without medical assistance. Sit still so I can make sure pressure stays on the wound, and then the paramedics will pick you up, and then your stitches will be re-sewn. There is no need for panic, but you can’t fall asleep, either.”

And, well. Maybe Logan has a point. She did yell something about splitting him in half when she did it, but Roman doesn’t really remember the encounter that well. But Logan’s a doctor! And he’s smart! So he obviously knows what he’s talking about. He can’t die before he gets married to his beautiful doctor husband. That would be the worst ending to the Disney movie that is his life. Well, if Disney had stayed true to the source content and featured a lot more gore and dramatic gay lamenting.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be your doctor husband, as you say, as long as you take me on a date first. Now hold. Still,” Logan demands, exasperated, and Roman isn’t even aware he was moving. Maybe he’s just wiggling because all of his love for his cool new husband is bursting out of him. And he says so, manages to get Logan to crack that pretty smile again, and Roman’s injury hurts just a little less.

[shannen-writes]

Why I love Ben and Callum (Ballum) from Eastenders

After tonight’s Eastenders I’m super emotional and wanted to talk about why I’ve come to love the Ballum relationship and what it means to me. This isn’t a well-planned or thought out post, just a stream of conciousness, fangirling and emotions, so be warned. 

At times I’ve wondered why I feel so deeply for a ship that has, let’s be honest, incredibly inconsistent (unfortunately, that’s the nature of having a ship on a soap, you have to have the patience of a saint) and had a lack of content in comparison to the ships I’m used to having from TV shows. But this week has affirmed exactly why I love Ballum so much and there are so many reasons. 

The first and obvious one is Tony Clay and Max Bowden’s chemistry. I mean have you seen that shit: 

gif credit @charitydingle

They have such a strong and natural on-screen dynamic that immedatiely pulls me in whenever I see them. There are tender scenes and moments which are so sincere, but likewise, the angsty scenes are so electric. Max and Tony deliver on it all, they really do. 

But more than the actors chemistry, the dynamic between Ben and Callum is fascinating to me. They have so much in common - toxic and unloving fathers, a homophobic family, self-loathing, insecurities and a desperate want for true love, affection and connection. A central aspect of Ben’s character has always been his struggles with his sexuality. At first it was accepting it within his own mind and embracing it as being part of who he was, and since then it’s been enduring the ignorance, hatred, violence and cruelty of the people around him who refuse to accept him being gay because of their prejudices and let’s face it, pure idiocy. 

Callum is now going through those exact same struggles with his sexuality that Ben did. He’s uncertain, he’s closeted, he’s afraid to accept his sexuality for the fear of how that’ll change his life and how the people around him will react (worsened by the fact that his father and brother are both massive homphobes). Ben looks at Callum and he sees himself. He sees Callum’s pain, feels it, and that’s why as much as he makes his digs and jokes about outing him, he would never ever go through with it. He knows how long, rocky and difficult that process is and he would never do anything to harm Callum. All he wants is to help and advise Callum to help prevent him having to go through the same heartbreak and hurt he did. 

As for Callum, Ben is probably the only real connection he’s ever had with another person (the exception perhaps being Chris). Although Callum’s sexuality is still unconfirmed (is he bi or is he gay?), he clearly has feelings towards men and has done for many years and has been suppressing that part of himself, denying himself from forging those kind of connections with another man that he has so desperately been craving. He spoke about how lonely he’s been and that all stems from the fact that he’s been lying to himself for so long and closing himself off to having that authentic connection with another person. He has that connection with Ben because he can be himself. He can be completely vulnerable and honest with Ben, he never has to hide, and that’s a freedom he’s never had before. 

For Ben, everybody in his life sees and assumes the worst of him, including his own family (the exception being Jay and Lexie). He feels misunderstood and unloved by everybody in his life. Callum is probably one of the only people in his life that doesn’t put him down, that doesn’t patronise, ridicule or bully him. He never judges him or scalds him, even when he acts recklessly or shows up with a bloody and bruised face (which, let’s face it, is all the flippin’ time!). Instead, he’s open, understanding and empathetic. Callum sees the good in Ben where nobody else does. He sees a passion, empathy, vulnerability and kindness that few people get to see because Callum provides him with a safe space to be who he is; something that he doesn’t get anywhere else. 

There’s an emotional connection between Ben and Callum that’s so palpable. They see into each others souls, they see reflections of themselves when they look at each other, but for all of their similarities they have differences. Those differences only bring them together even more. Ben’s temper, recklessness, impulsivity and steel exterior is offset by Callum’s tranquility, humility, softness and consideration. Callum anchors Ben, provides him with peace and clarity from the chaotic life he has. Ben even said it himself in last night’s episode, part of the reason he likes Callum is because he’s not like him. Likewise, Callum sees in Ben someone that is strong and unafraid to be exactly who he is and go for what he wants; a quality he admires and wishes he had. Ben brings passion and courage into his life, and pushes him out of his comfort zone and to embrace the parts of himself that he’s been keeping locked away for so long. They both see in each other traits and qualities they feel that they lack but admire and wish they had. These differences also mean that they balance each other other and compliment each other perfectly. 

What makes the Ballum relationship so special is because it means so much for both characters. There’s so much to unpick, so much depth but it all comes together beautifully. Their connection is so profound and the struggles they both have faced and continue to face with their sexuality resonates with so many people. The process of Ben and Callum meeting, getting to know one another and developing feelings for each other has already been so long, complicated and rocky simply because they’re gay men. It’s even harder because Callum still isn’t ready to come out (although that might be about to change after tonight’s episode). 

For me, seeing Callum cradling a dying Ben in his arms showed that emotional connection they have. Even Whitney could clearly see it! Callum wasn’t about to move from Ben’s side for a moment and Ben needed Callum. You could sense throughout all of their scenes that Ben was drawing strength from Callum and although Callum stayed calm, the reality of losing Ben hit him hard. It’s the wake up call he needed (and that we all so desperately wanted him to have), to deeply he feels for Ben and that letting him go would be a huge mistake. Callum may want the ordinary heteronormative life he could’ve had if he married Whitney, but Ben can give him everything Whitney can’t. In the short time Callum has known Ben, he’s opened up so many different sides to him that no one else ever has. Ben can see, speak, understand, support and love Callum in a way that no one else can. 

Okay, I’ll stop there because I can talk forever and ever about how much I love Ballum. So I’ll finish by saying that after this week, I really hope EE continue deliver good content, because to let them go without fully exploring all of that potential would be a terrible mistake. I’ve watched Eastenders practically my whole life on and off and I’ve never had a relationship (or characters) have as much impact on me as Ben and Callum, and I know I’m not alone. Their story is beautiful and speaks directly to my heart for so many reasons, and I have so much hope for their future. 

[adhdtozier]

read it on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18363323

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier

warnings: none except language!

taglist: @girasol-eddie @annoyingtozier @constantreaderfool @tozierbinch @notafightr @anellope @bittcrtragcdy @trashmouthandspaghetti @richieshawaiianshirts @mileven-bughead @marsisaplanetyall @cigarette-tozier @richietoziersadhd @mirandonsky 

message me if ya wanna be added, or to my permatag list!! :)

Sometimes Eddie wondered if things would be different, if they didn’t have the flowers. If, in some other world, there was a version of everyone he knew who had to live with uncertainty. He couldn’t really imagine it; never truly knowing if the person you loved was the person you were meant to be with forever. It was just one of the constants of the world, like his mother being worried, or the Losers Club, or Richie pulling up to the Kaspbrak house in his horrible, loud old truck every morning to give Eddie a ride to school.

People were born with their flower tattoos, beginning as small buds but then growing as the wearer did. Tendrils of vines, or long stalks, or small bunches of leaves, stretching across everyone’s bodies, in beautiful shades for every color of the natural world. Most people raced to a plant identification guide, or else the library, as soon as their mark seemed something identifiable. Eddie certainly had, eager to put a name to the long, pale gray branch that stretched along under his clavicles, with gentle pointed green leaves arranged along.

“Wisteria floribunda,” Eddie had wheezed out as soon as he was in earshot of the other Losers. He quickly propped up his bike on the kickstand, pulling down the collar of his worn cotton t-shirt as he approached his slightly confused friends. They were arranged among the rocks of the Barrens, lounging and shooting the breeze when Eddie came crashing through the brush.

“Guys, that’s what it is! My mark! Japanese wisteria! Look, it’s coming in really clearly now!” Eddie tugged at his collar more aggressively, as if trying to draw their attention. Bev seemed to be the first to understand, a slow smile growing on her summer-freckled face as she stood up and came closer.

“Eddie! That’s amazing! Let me see!” She peered at the spindling branch, and the rather unremarkable gray buds that had begun to appear along it. “This is gonna be gorgeous when it blooms, Ed, you’re a lucky duck.”

Eddie’s face turned almost imperceptibly more red at the compliment, cheeks already flushed from his bike-sprint to tell his friends the news. “I finally was able to identify it, it was so hard to tell for the longest time because it was just a branch, ya know? But, now? There it is! Right there! And that’s what it is, Wisteria floribunda, Japanese wisteria, it’s gonna be all purple and long and, and, yeah,” he finished breathlessly, beaming at his friends.

“Well, well, Eds,” drawled Richie from where he was reclining against a rock. “Japanese wisteria? Someone’s a little exotic now, aren’t they?” Eddie rolled his eyes, coming over to sit between Bill and Mike. “I’m not surprised though, honestly,” Richie continued, peering through his glasses to get a better look. “Of course my Eddiebear would have the cutest, prettiest, most pastel flower known to man.”

Eddie’s grin abruptly turned to a scowl, as he pinched his lips together. “Don’t call me that, Rich.”

“What?” Asked Richie innocently, a shit-eating grin creeping across his face as he scooted closer to Eddie. “Cute? Eds? Eddiebear?” He batted his eyelashes dramatically, flopping onto his stomach to rest his chin in his hands. “Preeeeeettty?”

“All of the above!” He released his shirt collar huffily, reluctantly pulling it back down at Ben’s sounds of protest. “And I am not pastel, Richard.” He leaned back comfortably on Bill’s shoulder, catching his breath in the gentle rays of the evening sun. Richie snorted. Mike glared at him, almost imperceptibly.

It was no secret, the bullying that Eddie had endured throughout his school career. He was short, coddled by his mother, asthmatic, and didn’t deny the gay rumors: practically a bully magnet. The one thing he prided himself on, however, was his strength. Eddie Kaspbrak was small and gay, yes, but he was strong, and fast, and quick to stand up for himself and his friends.

Mike smiled kindly at Eddie, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Rich doesn’t mean it in a bad way, Ed. I think he’s just saying- well, you’re a really caring person, Eddie. And you’re gentle with the people you’re close with, and you’re-”

“CUTE!” Richie exploded, beaming and slightly red from the obvious exertion of having stayed quiet for Mike’s words. “Cute, cute, cute, Eddie!”

Mike rolled his eyes, as did the rest of their friends. “Seriously though, Eddie. It’s gonna be beautiful, I can tell. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”

Eddie flushed slightly. “Me too, Mikey. Thanks.”

Mike Hanlon had dozens of tiny vines of honeysuckle stretching all over and around his arms, winding across his dark skin all the way from his calloused hands to his biceps. The Hanlon farm was one of Eddie’s favorite places to go: an escape from his mother, where he could lay in an empty pasture with his kindest, best-at-listening friend and vent about his mother, or the new issue of Fantastic Four, or (more often than not) whatever ridiculous scheme Richie had dragged him into most recently. Sometimes, though, the two of them would just lay quietly in the tall grass, trying to count the tightly furled buds, or murmuring as they speculated when they would finally blossom.

It was laying in the pasture one day as the sun set, watching the yellow light shining through the oak trees and listening to the crickets hum, that Mike had been the first of the Losers to be told Eddie’s deepest, quietest secret.

“Hey. Hey Mike?”

The homeschooled boy hummed in response from his place directly beside Eddie, hands folded behind his head.

“I’m queer.” He blurted out the words quickly, clenching his fists at his sides, terrified to look over and see Mike’s reaction.

He hadn’t planned on telling Mike today, necessarily, but he was the warmest and least intimidating of all of Eddie’s friends (and maybe there was some tiny, quiet part of him that hoped that even if Eddie disgusted Mike; if he was shocked and didn’t understand at all; then perhaps he would recognize the similarities in the hatred that African-Americans and non-straight people were treated with in Derry, and he might have some tiny bit of sympathy).

Mike was perfectly still for a moment. Then, he spoke, in the same soft voice he always used with his friends. “Really?”

Eddie nodded, pressing his lips together tightly and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Wow. Thank you for telling me, Ed.”

Eddie felt some tiny, warm, pop in his chest, which quickly spread through his entire body, like air rushing out of a popped balloon as an overwhelming sense of relief washed over him.

Mike turned then, and smiled, and Eddie smiled back, and they went back to laying there, gazing up as the sun-drenched sky gave way to dusk.

That had been months ago. In the weeks since, he had slowly told each of his friends individually, unable to look at their faces when he breathed out the secret he had kept inside for so long.

Each and every time, he felt shock at their loving acceptance of him, and then shame, that he would think that they wouldn’t. His friends weren’t like the rest of Derry, or the rest of the world, for that matter! But still, he had doubted them, some deeply buried voice that sounded a lot like his Ma’s, whispering that he was dirty, a freak, sick, and that he would never find anyone like him.

He had held off on telling Richie for last. They had been sitting out by the empty soccer fields, ripping up tufts of grass as they waited for Bill to get out of baseball practice. Richie, true to form, had been trying to make a blade of grass into one of those dumb whistles (unsuccessfully) for about 20 minutes. Eddie figured there was about a 50-50 chance that Rich was actually listening to his stressed monologuing about the calc test, or if he was completely zoning out and thinking about, like, boobs or weed or Pokemon or whatever Richie Tozier’s mind was usually populated with.

It was when he watched Richie lift the blade of grass up to his face, scrunching up his crooked nose in that annoying cute and innocent way, as he peered through his (still ridiculously thick) glasses, that Eddie knew. He knew that he had to tell Richie. He had known when they were at the Barrens, and Richie had held both his hands, hard, and helped him jump over a giant puddle so he wouldn’t get his new socks wet. He had known when they were sitting on the Toziers trampoline late one summer night, just the two of them, and Richie had starting sniffling, then sobbing, as he told Eddie how terrified he was that everyone around him actually found him too annoying to be around. Heck, Eddie had known when they were eight, and Richie had leapt dramatically in front of him during dodgeball and gotten out instead.

“I dunno why, Eds,” Richie had shrugged, unconcerned, to a nearly hysterical Eddie, pinching a wound-up bunch of 1-ply from the boys’ bathroom over his bleeding nose. “That’s just what best friends do.”

And it was true. Richie Tozier was the best friend Eddie Kaspbrak had ever known, and probably would ever had. He wasn’t quite sure if he believed in God, or fate, or whatever, but he did know for sure that something special had led to the two of them being born in the same town, in the same time. Richie was kind, and funny (even if the Losers were loathe to admit it), and goofy, and genuine, and so overwhelming in his Richie-ness that it was almost staggering sometimes. And somehow, Eddie had gotten to be this idiot’s best friend. Yet he still hadn’t told him his biggest secret.

Suddenly, Richie looked up from the grass he was ripping up, alarm in his magnified, owl-like eyes. “Eds? What’s going on? Why are you crying?”

Eddie sniffed, startled by the sudden tears. “Uh, I’m not sure.”

Richie frowned, his eyebrows furrowing into his ‘I don’t believe you’ face. “Eddie. C’mon.”

Eddie sniffed again, pulling out a small pack of Kleenex from his backpack. “Rich, I- I gotta tell you something.”

Richie, in an act that was wholly un-Richie, went completely still. “Okay.”

Eddie, finishing wiping his nose, crumpled the tissue in his fist. He kept his eyes fixed on his hands, watching how his skin got whiter and his hand began to shake the tighter he squeezed. “Richie. I’m gay.”

Silence.

After what felt like an eternity, Eddie Kaspbrak looked up. Richie was looking straight at him, eyes still wide. But now - shining with what looked like tears?

“Oh my god, Richie, I’m so sorry. Don’t cry, okay?” Eddie began frantically twisting the dampened tissue in his hands, wholly unsure of what to do with himself. Of all the millions of possible outcomes he had imagined, laying wide awake in his twin bed, this was probably the one he was least prepared for. “I, I swear it won’t change anything, ‘kay? I just. I can’t help it, and it felt so wrong not telling you, but-”

“Eds.” Richie croaked suddenly, a calloused hand suddenly over Eddie’s own, which he hadn’t even realized were in the process of systematically tearing the tissue into tinier and tinier pieces. “Stop.”

Eddie did. He gulped, suddenly very still.

“Eddie,” Richie began again, looking down at the destroyed Kleenex, then back up at Eddie’s face (which he was pretty sure was completely white and ashy at this point). “Eddie. It’s… it’s okay.”

In an instant, Eddie’s heart was bursting out of his chest and his stomach had dropped to the grass below. He felt like he was floating, and falling, all at once. “Wait… Really?”

Richie smiled back at him. It was a soft smile, not full of teeth or smirking or with a huge laugh bubbling out from behind it, as Richie’s smiles were apt to be. But it was almost… fond? “Yeah, doofus. Really.”

Eddie’s heart pounded in his chest. “You’re sure.”

Richie grabbed both of Eddie’s (much smaller, how did he never notice how much smaller?) hands, and squeezed tightly. “Yes, you idiot. So you like dudes! That’s fine, Eds. Really. Thank you for telling me.”

All at once, Eddie felt warmth and light rushing into every fiber of his being. He was buoyed, finally, by the weight of the people he loved most in the world, all six of them. “Rich. Rich…” He threw his arms around the taller boy, who stiffened, almost imperceptibly, for just a second, before wrapping his long and bony limbs around in return. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Richie squeezed tighter. “Nothing to thank me for, Spaghetti Man. Besides,” he let go, fixing his eyes back on his lap. “Uh, I. I think I like guys too, Eds. So. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me. I think, at least.”

Now it was Eddie’s turn for his eyes to be as wide as saucers. “Wait. What?”

Richie smiled back, sheepishly this time. “Yeah. Uh, I think I still like girls? I dunno. If you can like both, I mean. But. Yeah. Kissing guys, fuck yeah, right?”

Eddie snorted. “Sure, Rich. Fuck yeah, kissing guys.”

-----

Things had been almost imperceptibly different between the two after that. Some weird, quiet, only somewhat unwelcome part of Eddie’s brain whispered that maybe, this is what he had wished for all along. That, somehow, Richie Tozier liking guys was some kind of miracle sent down specifically to make Eddie Kaspbrak’s little gay heart sing.

But, as Eddie reminded himself every day, Richie liking guys just meant that he liked guys. Not that he liked Eddie specifically. At least, not necessarily. But it still wasn’t completely outside the realm of possibility. Right???

When Richie’s flower appeared, a single prickly bud on a long green stem, just above his heart, something deep within Eddie twisted itself into knots.

“It’s helianthus annus! Or at least, I’m pretty sure. It’s a sunflower, guys!”

The beaming smile on Richie’s face was almost as bright as the bloom that’d one day appear on his pectoral.

The Losers all congratulated him, but Richie didn’t bring it up again until one day at lunch, a couple months later. He was tossing an apple into the air and catching it, over and over again, while they all leaned against the track shack. His blue eyes were fixed on something far in the distance, and he had been uncharacteristically quiet for most of the lunch period, til Eddie finally elbowed him.

“Dude. What’s up? You’re being quiet.”

Richie pursed his lips, then held the apple for a second, looking at it thoughtfully. “Ya know, my mom says it’s rare to have a single flower, like mine. Did you know that?”

Eddie blinked. He wasn’t expecting soulmate talk, but sure, why not. “No, Rich. I didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Richie said, furrowing his eyebrows at a slight bruise on the apple before resuming his one-man game of catch. “I guess it like, means something. Or at least that’s what my grandma told her. Like, flower meanings or whatever.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows, eyes fixed on where the top of Richie’s prickly bud tattoo peeked out from his collar. “Oh? What’s yours mean, then?”

The corner of Richie’s mouth quirked up in a smile. He flicked his eyes to meet Eddie’s for split second, then looked back up at the sky. “Adoration. Also, like, loyalty, and happiness, and other stuff. But mostly adoration.”

For some reason, Eddie felt his cheeks suddenly blush a hot pink. “Oh.”

Richie chuckled awkwardly, adjusting his glasses. “Yeah. But, uh, the big thing is that there’s only one flower. Do ya know what my grandma says that means?”

Eddie frowned, tilting his head. “No, what?”

Richie coughed lightly. “Uh, I guess it means that, I only have one potential partner. Like, the first person I end up dating is probably like. It for me.”

Bev, who had been apparently overhearing their conversation, suddenly leaned over, beaming. “Rich! That’s so romantic! You must meet them pretty soon, then!”

“Or you’ve already met them,” Stan cut in, a weirdly knowing look on his face. Richie coughed strangely again, glaring at Stan, and Eddie instinctively reached for his hand sanitizer. The last thing he needed was getting sick in the middle of the school week.

That was the last time the Losers talked about soulmates for a long while. Occasionally, the topic would come up in casual conversation, but Eddie always tried to steer the subject away pretty quickly when it did. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but whenever he thought about the single sunflower waiting on Richie’s pale, freckled chest, he got a weird tight feeling deep in his chest. Thinking about some gorgeous person waiting out in the unknown to swoop Richie off his feet and probably take him away forever made Eddie’s heart thump wildly, and his palms start to sweat, so he tried not to. Think about it, that is.

It was only a couple months after Eddie revealed his twirling Wisteria to the other Losers that Stan made an announcement to the rest of the group before school, an uncharacteristically wistful look on his face. They were all standing at the bike racks and idly discussing plans to go see a move that weekend when Bev suddenly got a knowing gleam in her blue eye.

“STANLEY MICHAEL URIS!” Stan jumped almost imperceptibly at Bev’s shout. He walked up to join the group, a rosy blush creeping across his olive cheeks as he adjusted his backpack straps.  

“What, Bev?”

“Don’t you what me! Where is it?” she demanded, grabbing him by the shoulders excitedly. “I can see it in your eyes, you sly dog. So show us the tattoo!”

Richie gasped dramatically, joining Bev with one stride to clasp Stan’s shoulder. “Stan! My man! Becoming a man! Bless my stars, I can scarcely believe it! They grow up so fast.” He sniffled and wiped an imaginary tear from his cheek.

Stanley rolled his eyes and shoved Richie half-heartedly, but didn’t attempt to hold back the pure, delighted smile spreading across his face. “Step back, dumbasses, and maybe I’ll show you.”

The other Losers exploded in exclamations and congratulations as they crowded around the youngest member of the group, chattering excitedly. “Alright! Alright, I’ll show you. But we can’t do it here.” Mike and Ben shared a confused glance, but no one questioned Stan as he led them behind a bush near the baseball field.

Methodically, and in typical Stanley Uris fashion, he carefully set down his backpack and lunch and began to unbutton his shirt. Richie audibly inhaled at this, but Beverly promptly smacked a hand over his mouth before he could comment.

Finally, Stanley stood before them in only his white undershirt. Both long arms were exposed, and there was a collective gasp as the group saw the beautiful rosebuds adorning both of his deltoids. Long, thorny stems wound down each upper arm, and right where the smooth skin of his shoulder met his arm, a tightly furled bud.

Ben’s mouth was slightly open in awe, as he reached out and gently touched the new additions. “But, Stan. There’s…”

“Two, I know.” Stan’s cheeks were still a hot pink, and he glanced over his shoulder as he quickly pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up again. “I think that means I have… well. Two soulmates.”

“Stannyyyyyyy,” Richie crowed delightedly. “I always knew you were too much man for one person to handle.” At this, Stan blushed a shade of crimson previously unseen on any human face.

Mike chuckled, but there seemed to be a hint of warmth in his cheeks too, after seeing Stan’s marks. “Lay off, Rich. But… seriously. Congrats, man. Whoever they are will be lucky to have you.”

Eddie, who had been watching quietly, had a sneaking suspicion that Mike was wishing he were one of those someones.

-----------------------

By the time the summer after sophomore year rolled around, Ben and Bev were practically joined at the hip, adorably and almost sickeningly infatuated with each other since the crepe-y magenta azaleas on Ben’s ankle and the daffodil on Bev’s spine had finally blossomed.

Mike and Bill and Stan had been circling each other for ages now, all batting eyelashes and blushing and secretive conversations when they thought no one was looking. The rest of the Losers had an unspoken understanding that it was almost a matter of time until they finally got their acts together and finally became official.

Meanwhile, Eddie tried not to think about his mark too much. Or Richie’s, for that matter.

Richie had started dating girls the second he finally shot up and gained some semblance of muscle, no doubt thanks entirely to the weights that Wentworth Tozier kept in their garage. He was still a dweebus, full of (slightly less) crude jokes and loud, bracing laughter, but somehow that was attractive to at least 6 (7? 8? Eddie had lost count) of the girls at Derry High.

But, even with the new, objectively pretty girls that Rich would occasionally have around, the Losers somehow remained a unit. Bill and Eddie joined track, Bev and Richie became the drama department’s darlings, new friendships were formed and broken. But somehow, they all still remained locked in an orbit together.

There was an unspoken bond, one forged in the fire of being outsiders, that cemented the seven as something deeper than friends and more treasured than family. Strengthened and maintained by casual intimacy, indelible trust, and the sacred Friday movie nights, each person knew that they had something special in their core group of friends.

Eddie was a little bit in awe of them sometimes: their wit and success and athleticism and energy and compassion. He could scarcely believe that he was one of this wonderful group of ridiculous, talented people filled with so much potential. And, as the other losers began to slowly find romance and connections and soulmates, a deep sense of un-belonging seeped into his bones. An overwhelming feeling of other-ness, and sadness, and loneliness, even when surrounded by the people closest to him in this world.

Especially when he was around Richie. Although, that feeling wasn’t quite in his bones. It was in his stomach, and his heart, and it burned. He knew why. Every time a grinning Richie walked up, hand in hand with his latest girlfriend, or casually exposed the sunflower on his chest when changing his shirt, Eddie felt it. First, the pang of jealousy. Then, the warmth of deep affection, and then, the hotter burn of want.

Sometimes, laying in his bed, looking up at the pale blue ceiling his mother refused to let him paint, Eddie thought about what Richie’s grandma had said, years ago. About his mark. “Adoration.”

He’d turn that word over and over in his head for hours, like one of the hard butterscotch candies his aunts gave him when he was little, that’d last for hours but was still as sweet at the end as at the beginning. He adored Richie. He knew that much for sure. With every dumb joke, and every suddenly introspective and quiet revelation, and every time Eddie caught his bright, blue-eyed gaze through his glasses from across the quad. He adored him!

But did Richie adore him back? Eddie wasn’t sure. It depended on the kind of day he’d had at school, or what his mom said when he got home, or the random comment someone had made at track practice, or just how much Eddie despised Richie’s latest girlfriend.

A thousand hair ruffles, and lagging behind the group when they walked somewhere so they could talk, just the two of them. Holding each other’s ice cream cones, and shared hysterics at the dumb comics they leaned over in each other’s bedrooms. The cheesy homemade cards they always exchanged on each other’s birthdays, and the truly horrific homemade cake Richie had tried to make for Eddie’s 16th. The quiet nights when Richie (“you idiot!”) would scale the tree outside Eddie’s window and clamber in to sit, or lay, or dream.

Did those add up to adoration? Eddie really wasn’t sure.

–––––––––––––––

One such night, when Richie was conked out on the rug in Eddie’s room, mouth slightly open and gangly limbs splayed, Eddie felt a particularly strong surge of his own adoration bloom somewhere deep inside.

And on his collarbone, a single bloom of Wisteria floribunda shifted.

hope y’all enjoyed!!!! please shoot me a message if you did, or if you wanna be added to the tag list. this is my first major work in this fandom, so i super want any feedback!!!!!!

[slashtakemylife]

Very late but here’s my personal journey with Adashi

One year ago I was at work, I was still just training and we had nothing to do atm so I was scrolling on twitter, so I followed the Voltron account and then is when I saw it, yes the famous tweet, I thought I saw wrong but no I clicked on it and it was a normal tweet like any other followed by all the sdcc panels tweets

I was soooo over the moon!!! I wanted to scream and shout and jump and everything!!! But I was at work so I silently screamed, I was sitting on a desk chair so I kept sliding my feet on the floor and just wiggling my legs because I was soooo excited!!!!

It wasn’t until I was home that I saw Shiro was trending and not no.8 or 5, but 1!!! And the trend said Worldwide!!! People, I’m from Mexico so trends are from here and of course massive popular things like GoT or Orange and stuff but I never saw voltron as more than a small specific niche of people so the idea that we were trending and enough for even me to see was so amazing

I swear I stayed on my bed, just watching it, feeling the moment just staring at that list and giving it a refresh and seeing Shiro, Shiro my fave character be so loved, I saw the power of representation since all this love was because of the Shiro announcement so I couldn’t believe it, I felt like I was part of something beautiful

I knew vld had a big LGTB audience and given what happen with Korrasami I wished them good luck, but to see it happen to my favorite character, it brought so much potential character development, know Shiro’s backstory, see how he is in another setting, now not just as a Garrison member, a paladin and a war survivor but now I’ll be able to see his soft side, his family and closed one side even more

I love Captain Holt in Brooklyn 99 but my favorite moments are when he shows affection for his husband, I felt I could get that and yeah I felt great for the LGTB community, they wouldn’t get a presumed, allegedly, out of show confirmed character, they and we would get a big on screen presence and Shiro is perfect for it, this big male man is also gay and in love and it changes nothing

I trusted these guys, I saw people said they promised rep and they were part of the group that made Korrasami so now a few years later here is the payoff, a beautiful on screen stablished and interesting relationship, I had my reservation when I hear they had broke up but I trusted these guys

Now onto a bit bit more personal, I have a nephew (by a cousin not my sis) and for what I see his parents are young people but I’ve never heard their posture on LGTB so it could go both ways, I lean more on acceptance, still both their parents (aka my nephew’s grandparents and one is my uncle) are very religious and one has outright said in MY home how WE shouldn’t go to starbucks because they supported the LGBT community, they also had issues with my nephew’s parents because when they left him with them they would teach my nephew their religion, a religion that is not the one they have so they had a big fight on how they tried to influence my little nephew behind his parents back or approval, my biggest fear was that they teached him to hate and there was no one to teach him otherwise and as I’m not a so close relative I didn’t know how to even start the subject

One day they stayed at my home and while me and my sis were asleep in the same room (since they used the other) my aunt went to our room to “spend time with us” by putting her religious music and reading the Bible to us, both of us were dead asleep so we barely even noticed but she did the same in the living room were my poor nephew was bored af, so my sis and I suggested we go to our room and watch something, all we could think of a kids show was Voltron, that was when only S2 was available, so now back to that day when Shiro was announced I thought, I have a perfect excuse to open the subject with him, or even if I’m not there he could see it (I didn’t know if he kept watching it but if he did then he could see it from the comfort of his home), and in Shiro! The leader, the guy you look up to, the guy who’s compassionate yet strong

I had my reservations since S3 to 6 were so wack but if he could just reach S7 that would be perfect, well now I’m glad to say he wasn’t interested in voltron and it was amusing enough to watch while he was with us but not enough to continue watching on his own and I’m so glad I never told him he should give it a try, now honestly I’m in square one and haven’t talked at all with him about the LGBT community but I also don’t know how, anyway that is another issue

Adashi was a whole new experience, I’ve had other ships but they are really popular so I had no issues finding content, with adashi we became a rare pair real fast after S7 dropped and then sank more with S8 and people leaving VLD pretty much for their own mental health

It was new for me because I had never experienced this new wave of people wanting to control and regulate fandom, I’ve never seen ship wars at this scale and so full of hate and honestly some pretty dumb reasons, I saw idiotic views from both sides of the war and that is what keeps me away from twitter

Still thanks to Adashi I saw the struggles the LGTB community had on rep since vld was compared and explained so detailed and understandable, I know more and understand better thanks to adashi

By searching for adashi meant learning on vld and I also understood why I never could fully love vld the way I did Avatar or Korra, I understand more about writing and tropes

More than that, having my ship become a rare pair meant that I had to step out my comfort zone, I began writing again, I researched to better my writing and my biggest accomplishment so far:

It’s always been an ambition of mine to learn how to draw but my lack of natural talent, my insecurities, lack of will and easiness in which I get desperate I feel I’m not progressing meant I never really truly tried but by being so thirsty for content (and having the correct time and place in my life) I began to try and all I have are two fanarts but those mean so much to me because they mean that I’ve TWICE defeated my insecurities and made something I’m proud of

I’ve met interesting people and feel even made new friends, I’ve reach out to people they way I’ve never done before and even used the skills I have to contribute with the adashiversary

That doesn’t mean I don’t get heartbroken all the time, adashi is bittersweet, we rose at the same moment we sank, thanks to being in the bottom is helping me rise but the pain and suffering wasn’t necessary and it was completely avoidable

It feels wierd, it’s like thanking your abusers for making you who you are but I think we all agree we would rather never have been abused, we all here are trying to make best of this truly awful reality

But I also appreciate so much all the strong adashi warriors that hadn’t given up and that keep me strong as well

[ewanreviewin]

  Song: “Slide” by LPX

In <100 Words: Cheating a bit since this came out the end of last year, but I didn’t listen until the EP. “Slide” almost feels like a MS MR single if you didn’t know that Lizzy was doing her own thing these days, with its powerful drums and – so far at least – fairly clear vocals (on the verses). THEN Lizzy starts to belt about the lack of warning her heart gave regarding heartbreak. THEN she and her band bust into the incredible, dancey chorus. You’ll be screaming along with Lizzy by the end of the bridge.

Fave Lyric: “The sweetest love in life cuts you like a knife, ripping your insides, leaves you paralyzed.”

I Also Recommend: “Tightrope” has been and still is my favorite LPX track so far with the absolute shredding of that guitar. “Red Queen” is my favorite “new” song from the EP.

The EP Overall: It’s quite a banger of an EP and really makes me excited to see what the LPX project has to give in the form of a full-length album.

What This Sound Like: My heartbreak coming to life and screaming at me, with sick guitars playing in the background.

Song: “My My My” by Troye Sivan

In <100 Words: Writing a good love song is actually a super underrated skill. As is creating a great pop song. Troye Sivan, luckily, has the ability to handle both under his belt. “My My My” is so unabashedly happy. Troye sings to his lover to just let go and enjoy the moment of being in love – and in a world where love has so much pressure put on it, why don’t you?! Bring on the album, baby.

Fave Lyric: “Now let’s stop running from love.”

The Video: It’s sexy. It’s pretty. It’s gay. Come on – how can you not love it.

What This Sound Like: Running through a field at night as a rainbow – somehow – appears in the sky.

Song: “Supernatural” by BØRNS

In <100 Words: This is a bit of an underrated song from Blue Madonna. I am obsessed with the multiple drum play going on (I even hear bongos) and the strings in the post-chorus. There’s even a theremin solo in the bridge. Hell. YES. Lyrically, “Supernatural” falls on the second half of the album (right after the interlude actually) where Mr. Born seems to be over the heartbreak and is moving into a more introspective view of his previous relationship. It’s all dreamy and just lovely.

Fave Lyric: “Is it love or am I fooling around trying to find the truth?”

I Also Recommend: “Faded Heart” still holds up quite well, the witty and bright, yet bitter and cold “Second Night of Summer,” the rock-tinged “We Don’t Care,” and the empowering “I Don’t Want U Back.” I’d include the interlude, “Tension,” but it’s ONLY AN INTERLUDE!

The Album Overall: I’m really happy that he went down a route that was less energetic and… polished as Dopamine, even though I really enjoy that record too. It’s a great follow-up, though at the same time I feel like he’s yet to achieve his full potential. I have a feeling that will come with the next record.

What This Sound Like: A montage of going to the mall, but on an alien planet, but everyone’s happy.

Song: “After the Storm” by Kali Uchis (feat. Tyler the Creator & Bootsy Collins)

In <100 Words: Kali expands her resume a little by venturing into the deep funk of “After the Storm.” Tyler name drops his newest record & the Disney deer Bambi in his mellow & very fitting verse. Kali sounds great on the track too – singing very sexy & empowering lyrics as she likely speaks to herself in a mirror. The highlight of the track is easily the production. The bass is excellent & the groove slows down a bit towards the end before picking right back up & leaving you wanting more once the track draws to a close.

Fave Lyric: “So you gotta be careful baby, and look both ways before you cross my mind.”

What This Sound Like: Laying in silk sheets dressed in your softest robe.

Song: “King for a Day” by Anderson East

In <100 Words: This song is quite cheeky and I didn’t realize! The opener for Encore is actually a “let’s-get-it-on” song because I’d rather hook up once than be strung along as an unrequited love for a long time. You would not think that’s what Anderson is singing about when you first listen to “King for a Day.” Tinged with some elevating trumpets in the bridge/end of the song & very traditional guitar/drum pairing, the instrumental of this track is quite infectious.

Fave Lyric: “Even if your heart can’t look away, even if our love can’t stay together, I’d rather be king for a day than a fool forever.”

I Also Recommend: The scandalous & energetic “Girlfriend,” “Surrender” which sounds like that “rollin! rollin!” song, the sweet but also jamming with the guitar “Sorry You’re Sick,” and my favorite mid/lower tempo track “This Too Shall Last.”

The Album Overall: It’s quite good Americana/blue-eyed soul music!

What This Sound Like: Wrangling cattle on the ranch as the sun is high in the sky.

Song: “Kissing Tree” by The Spencer Lee Band

In <100 Words: Whoa, WHERE did this song come from? “Kissing Tree” opens up for a while as just an acoustic guitar and a back and forth from higher pitched vocals to, who I guess is the main singer. The song builds up more and more with a few strings, and then a NASTY bass line once we get to the second verse. Lyrically, it’s probably what you’d expect from a song called “Kissing Tree,” but some lines in particular are quite clever. All the instruments being released from their cages in the bridge – oh yeah, favorite bit.

Fave Lyric: “Shake you like a leaf, break me off a piece, I got everything I need under the kissing tree.”

What This Sound Like: Unsurprisingly, like sitting on a tree & making out with someone.

Song: “Disappear” by Tonight Alive (feat. Lynn Gunn)

In <100 Words: In case you didn’t know, Lynn Gunn is the front woman of the awesome band PVRIS. She doesn’t hijack the “Disappear,” but rather she gives the track a little more fire to make it that highlight from Underworld. The song is liberating, fun, and also a bit detached.

Fave Lyric: “Why does it feel like home when I’m lonely?”

I Also Recommend: “Last Light” is one of the softer moments on the record that’s really needed. “Burning On” is another fun, upbeat banger, and the punk rock “Temple.”

The Album Overall: Jenna’s vocals are awesome on this record, but I can’t help but feel the sounds of the album have kinda been done before.

What This Sound Like: Getting out of your comfort zone to do something that you enjoy, by yourself.

Song: “Lottery” by Jade Bird

In <100 Words: What a great melody on this song, especially on the chorus. “Lottery” almost feels hippie/Woodstock ready with the soft guitar moments & jangling tambourine. However, the lyrics add a cool contrast to this, being filled with number-talk. Plus, her voice is lovely – like birds singing almost. Seriously, can I talk about the chorus again? The ending line has been stuck in my head for days now.

Fave Lyric: “You used to say that love is a game, but you got your numbers and you’re betting on me.”

What This Sound Like: Spending your time with a loved one in nature instead of spending your money inside a casino.

Song: “Bite My Tongue” by The Academic

In <100 Words: It can feel good to speak your mind, but sometimes it’s better to just sit down and shut up. “Bite My Tongue” seems to touch on the short-term joy (or potentially, in the end, long-term joy) of not holding back and also deciding to keep quiet for the sake of “not raining on your parade.” Meanwhile, this the band playing probably makes this the most upbeat track on the record – and it sounds great, especially on the chorus.

Fave Lyric: “My dear, what have we become? … So I’ll just bite my tongue.”

I Also Recommend: The track that directly follows this, “Fake ID,” sounds like going out for the night – kicking off the track with the opening of a door. “Permanent Vacation” and “Television” are two more upbeat bangers. I also enjoy “Different.”

The Album Overall: It’s a quick listen at 35 minutes, and while the songs on the record may feel too similar to each other, the pacing & length of the songs don’t tire you out at all. All-in-all, a good debut!

What This Sound Like: Driving with the top down by the beach.

Song: “Perfect” by Andreas Moss

In <100 Words: Andreas has a silky sweet voice that sounds best over non-distracting music. “Perfect” does a good job of this by having, essentially, just an acoustic guitar in the verses/bridge and a fairly subdued worbly bass in the chorus. If anything the shaking bass in the chorus pairs perfectly (lol) as Andreas hits the high notes in a swoon to the listener who “doesn’t have to be perfect” and is “worth it to me.” It really does take someone else to see the beauty in yourself when all you see are flaws.

Fave Lyric: “These are the moments when I see you – the purest form of you bleeding through.”

What This Sound Like: Blushing.

Song: “Stay Off My Mind” by Skott

In <100 Words: Immediately, you’ll hear “I’m thinking of you!” in some sort of ethereal, potentially self-sampling outburst that will catch your ear. The production kicks in as “Stay Off My Mind” enters the first verse with chirpy drums, guitar, and piano. Skott seems to throw in some autotune into the mix, which makes her sound pointedly distant from the listener who she wants out of her mind. The one moment of a back & forth of “still on my mind” in the chorus is really pretty. Lyrically, it’s more heart-wrenching than you’d expect – being about the death of a close friend. Damn.

Fave Lyric: “I’m left with the silence – there’s something about it, I don’t know, I don’t mind just sitting here alone.”

I Also Recommend: Snappy & groovy “In the Mood.”

The EP Overall: Because it’s so short I don’t have too strong of an opinion one way or another, but the two aforementioned tracks get me very excited to see what a full record would look like.

What This Sound Like: Wandering a city, with nothing to distract you from thinking about thoughts you were trying to avoid.

Week of January 12, 2018 Song: "Slide" by LPX In <100 Words: Cheating a bit since this came out the end of last year, but I didn't listen until the EP.

[roraewrites]

nine

[ sakura’s secret ] rating: m

// again, a HUGE thank you to all of you! y’all make me happy.

previous | next

Sakura wasn’t exactly too sure how she lucked out that night. She remained on her side of the couch, with her pen in her hand as she finished her notes. Sasuke seemed to have zoned out, but Sakura could feel the tension in the air between the two of them.

Her hand burned from where his lips had touched, and as she fought off the feeling to glance over at him, it wasn’t enough.

“Have you had a lot of girlfriends?” She asked quietly, her hand still covering her face while she continued to write.

Sasuke clicked his tongue before exhaling, “only one. It didn’t work out, lasted a month. I was still in college.” His monotone voice rang out.

Now that Sakura had uncovered her face, her viridian eyes watched him glance back over at her. She could already feel her cheeks tint over pink, and her skin numb up while her heart clenched in her chest. His smoldering, black eyes remained on her, thick lashes blinking before he asked his own question.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I--uh,” Sakura started, her mind frantically racing for an answer, “I’ve never had time for one, I guess.”

“Interesting.” He responded with cool voice. “Okay then. I take it you’ve never kissed anyone, have you?”

Sakura felt her legs tense up and the muscles in her arms tighten. Her fingers curled around the pen in her hand and teeth gritted against one another. Sasuke’s eyes stared right through her, his overwhelming presence making itself clear once again.

“No,” she answered honestly, but with the lack of confidence in her voice, she felt like a silly child.

His response was as expected. Sasuke smirked, his eyes lighting up with something Sakura had never seen before and as much as she wanted to look away from him, she couldn’t tear her eyes from his. He looked absolutely handsome in the minimal light offered from the lamp, and the way his high cheekbones and strong jawline tensed from his smirk, stirred up the butterflies from within Sakura’s stomach.

Her heart beat echoed in her ears, while her throat became tight with anticipation. She felt her fingers shaking under his stare now, but before Sakura could regain her composure, she was setting her books aside and making her way towards Sasuke now. He didn’t move under her gaze, only waited for her to approach him.

“Is it weird, Sasuke?” She breathed out before coming to sit on her knees beside him. He was still lounged back, one arm on the armrest, the other resting on the back of the couch. “Kissing?”

He raised an eyebrow before straightening his posture and coming to sit up. “Not if it’s with the right person,” he answered quietly. Sakura was perched next to him now, his form sitting right in front of her with his eyes focused on her and only her.

She wanted to reach her hand forward and brush his locks of obsidian tresses from his face, tuck the longer pieces behind his ear and feel his skin clash with hers; only she didn’t move, she only stared into his eyes, begging him to move closer, begging him to teach her something other than literature.

Sakura had watched many chick flicks, the iconic ones when they meet a man, hook up, start dating, break up, but then end the movie with forgiveness and a strong lip-locking session. She would always feel her heart rate increase while her stomach would juggle the butterflies that fluttered lightly inside. She never thought that she would feel this anxious, gut wrenching, time frozen experience, though.

His scent lured her in, begged her to come closer, and the more she found her body moving closer to his, his left hand came to rest on her tricep. He wasn’t entirely stopping her, but he also wasn’t letting her advance.

She could see the desire in his soot eyes, notice the glimmering fascination that reflected from the unnatural lighting, yet he didn’t accept the fact that she was growing closer. He only responded like a responsible adult would. “It’s getting late.”

Sakura glanced at his wooden clock on the wall.

“Oh, shit.” Her lower lip sunk into her mouth, welcoming the teeth that bit into the flesh. “How is it already ten?”

The tension between the two of them had melted at some point, and while she still sat close to him, she still felt an odd distance separating them. Maybe it was because she was younger than him, still a senior in high school and finding that her crush on her sensei was something more than a crush and also way out of her reach.

This all should’ve been wrong, and Sakura should’ve acknowledged that the moment her beating heart would thrum against her ribcage whenever he was near. Or how her blood would turn to molten lava and she was never able to control her blush.

Maybe she would’ve acknowledged all of it if she hadn’t found that she was absolutely infatuated by this man. Maybe she would’ve known that this was all wrong if she hadn’t broken the ice that coated his personality underneath his rough, outer shell.

His fingers were now twirling the ends of her silk, rose locks and Sakura accepted it. Sasuke was gentle, he was soft-spoken when needed, calming, his presence overwhelming at times and he could come off as intimidating, but he was also her safe haven. As funny as it sounded inside of her head, she felt comfortable and relaxed around him -- even under the gaze of his abyss dark eyes, she couldn’t help the nagging feeling that encouraged her.

“We should probably get going,” he muttered through each short breath that he took. His fingers came undone from her curled ends and into the pocket of his slacks. When he stood from the sofa, he flicked the television off and offered a hand towards Sakura.

She accepted it, a jolt of static running wildly through her blood. His hand was large, his fingers soft while his palms were calloused. “Do you work out?” Sakura asked, only the realize that it was probably a random thing to ask.

“Yes,” he replied almost as quickly as she had asked. No wonder his hands were calloused; as rough as they were, he was gentle with her as he pulled her from her seat.

She twirled around on her toes and began to pack her belongings up in her bag, only to have Sasuke stop her. He reached towards the drawing that she had made and held it up. “Can I keep this?”

“Why?”

“Is it wrong for a teacher to have a drawing made by his student? He mocked with a smirk.

Sakura frowned before smiling lightly. “Whatever.”

.

.

.

Her house was dark the moment he dropped her off. The porch light had been left on, and as Sakura began to undo her seatbelt, Sasuke’s hand rested on her wrist.

“Why are you so curious about how a kiss feels?” He inquired.

The same butterflies from before flocked out, and she couldn’t help the knot that formed in her throat or the way her eyes widened. “I guess I was just curious. You see people kissing in movies like it’s no big deal, so… I just wonder what it’s really like?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out one day,” he spoke with a light hearted tone and somewhat of a smile. He retracted his hand before she nodded with curious intentions.

Sakura grabbed her bag from the back seat of his car before leaning in and smiling at him. “Good night!”

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he responded with a grimace.

.

.

.

Throughout the course of the next couple of weeks, Sakura found herself busy with school work and studying for multiple different tests. From Sasuke’s class, to Gai’s, she was either working on her running form, performing many different strength exercises to pass her physical exams, or doing page after page of homework from literature, to math, to chemistry. She felt her brain spiralling out of control; along with all of her school work, she progressed in applying for scholarships as well.

Her relationship with Ino had been awkward lately, whether it be Ino avoiding Sakura, or Sakura avoiding Ino, they hadn’t been on speaking terms. One day, Naruto finally brought the subject up to Sakura.

“When are you two going to start acting like best friends again? It’s getting weird,” he stated through each bite of ramen.

Sakura frowned at him before popping a grape in her mouth. “Not sure.”

It was Naruto’s turn to frown. “Look, I get how all you girls are with your emotions and moodiness, but c’mon. You gotta get over whatever happened and move on. It’s weird not seeing the two of you attached by the hip anymore.”

Sakura frowned slightly before reflecting on his words. “Yeah,” she answered plain and simple, “I guess you have a point.”

Naruto finally offered a gentle smile before taking another bite. “I just want you to be happy. You’ve been working on schoolwork nonstop, that I worry sometimes. You’ve become great at keeping to yourself as well.”

“What do you mean?” Sakura raised a brow in question.

“Well, you stay after school all the time working on school work, and then avoid me during the weekend because of more schoolwork.” His voice held concern and worry, as did his ocean colored eyes.

Sakura’s mind flashed to the few evenings she had been spending with Sasuke. She would wait after school and either write notes or work on scholarships, have dinner with him and then spend some quality time at his condo. While they would only watch TV, chatter over random things that had taken place throughout the day, or sit in a comfortable silence, Sakura felt that their time together was to be valued.

After all, her friends were starting to catch on to her absence.

“Sakura?” Naruto asked, his face appearing right in front of hers.

“Oh--right. There’s a lot of time and energy going into my schoolwork lately, Naruto. I have dreams, goals that I want to accomplish and if I don’t give it my all, I won’t make it.”

“Oh right! Ms. Future Doctor!” He spat out with an ear to ear grin. Sakura chuckled softly before ruffling his golden hair.

“That’s right,” she responded. “I’ll see you later, I’ve got some assignments to turn in--”

“I forgot to ask!” Naruto interrupted her with apologetic eyes. “Halloween, Friday night. Everyone is going out then coming to my place to hang out. You in?”

Sakura pursed her lips before thinking about it. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to get together with her friends and spend some time with them again. After all, she had a pretty set schedule of studying and tending to her secret more so than entertain the idea of being an outgoing senior girl like the rest of the gals in her class.

“Sure,” she offers. “Why not?”

.

.

.

Her phone began to vibrate along the counter, and when she glanced down at the screen, she finds Ino’s nickname in white letters.

“Hello?”

“Forehead! Naruto said you’re going to the party tomorrow. What’re you going as?”

Sakura sat with her pen in her hand as she began to think about Ino’s question. She hadn’t put any thought into it, and now that she did, she didn’t want to dress up.

“Nothing,” she responded. “I’ll just show up at Naruto’s once everyone gets back.”

“You can’t just go there without a costume, Forehead.” Ino’s voice was like venom, her reaction time quick. It was like the two of them had hardly missed a beat. Sakura laughed into the phone.

“I have nothing to wear,” her confession resulted in a short exhale from Ino.

“I’ll bring something over tomorrow and we can go together! Sound good?” Sakura began to speak, but Ino cut her off again. “Good! Bye!”

She pressed her phone down the counter and shook her head.

“Typical Ino.”

.

.

.

“I am not wearing that fucking thing outside. Do you know how cold it is right now?” Sakura hissed. Ino stood in front of her, holding the ‘sexy feline costume’ like Ino had called it.

“Every guy will love it. Just put it on,” Ino deadpanned dryly, her patience wearing thin the more Sakura refused. “Look, I’m dressing as a bunny. We’ll be cute!”

Sakura looked around her room, trying to find something that would strike up a distracting conversation, but the moment Ino shoved the outfit into her arms, she felt defeated. “If I don’t like it, I’m not wearing it -- oh, wait--”

“Shut up and put it on, Billboard!”

She frowned, her viridian eyes matching up Ino’s baby blues before submerging through the bedroom door and slinking into the bathroom. She held the costume up before groaning. She slid into it with ease, pulling her arms through the slim, black crop top and pulling the spaghetti straps over her shoulders; it hugged onto the curves of her hips, squeezed her breasts with the built in, padded bra and even made her waist look tinier than it already was.

Sakura bit her lip before pulling the spandex leggings on next.

“This is such an Ino outfit,” she whined. With the leggings pulled all the way up, she felt something hanging from the elastic band behind her -- the tail of the costume brushing against her bum.

“Such an Ino outfit.”

With cute, black flats slipped onto her feet and triangular ears holding onto her head from a headband, Sakura glanced at herself in the mirror. She swallowed, imaging just exactly what Sasuke would think if he were to see her. Her bare arms broke out with goosebumps at the thought, and the moment she walked back through the door, Ino was perched right there.

“Look how cute!”

“I feel silly,” Sakura admitted, her cheeks turning pink under the eyes of her best friend.

“Well don’t. You look great. Look at those curves, girl.”

Sakura felt her blush darken in color, the back of her neck burning at Ino’s compliment. “Fine, but I’m changing once we get to Naruto’s.”

“But that’s when the fun starts to happen! He’s having an actual party, y’know? Iruka is out of town, that means it’s party central at Naruto’s. Before we go, though,” Ino stopped Sakura before she could get around her friend. The blonde pulled out a stick of eyeliner, and with an ear to ear grin, she held one of Sakura’s shoulders and brought the pencil to her face.

“Ino,” Sakura warned, but it was too late. The blonde had already gotten her way, lining Sakura’s face with whiskers much like Naruto’s, and finishing off with a dot on her nose. Sakura felt herself seething with anger now, but Ino was happy with the final look.

“Now you’re ready.”

.

.

.

Naruto had invited Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Sai, Kiba, and a few others from their school for their outing, but the moment everyone showed up, they decided against it. Sakura also didn’t feel uncomfortable in her costume anymore, seeing as everyone else had dressed up as well. Ino put the icing on the cake with her bunny costume though.

“You look nice,” Naruto complimented as he began to bring their cheap beer and hard liquor up from his basement. He handed Sakura a couple of bottles to carry, and while she walked with him, she felt like multiple pairs of eyes were on her.

She hated the feeling of the skin tight leggings and the way Ino’s black crop top brushed against her skin. Sakura felt revealed, naked. “Who’s all coming tonight?” She asked, trying to distract her mind from the claustrophobic strangle that creeped up her body.

“Lots of people. From other high schools, people from colleges. I dunno yet, we’ll see!” He grinned back at her as he set the case of beer on the counter. “Should be killer though.”

“Right,” Sakura agreed. “I might go put my sweater on.”

Naruto clasped her shoulder in his hand, causing her to jump in his wake. His concerned eyes reigned down on her from above, his eyebrows raised slightly. “If you’re not comfortable with wearing that, then why wear it?”

Sakura couldn’t help but let a small smile appear on her lips. She couldn’t get over the fox ears that sat atop his head, or the bushy tail he had hanging from his waist.

“To support your party, I guess,” she responded with an unsure tone. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach while her mind did backflips. “And because Ino wanted me to dress up.”

Naruto crossed his arms before laughing slightly. “You certainly are a good friend to her. Anyways, let’s get finished setting up! People will be here any moment.”

.

.

.

Sakura found herself people watching most of the night. They came in spurts, from people coming dressed up as cute animals to deadly ones, super heroes to villains, slutty costumes to some people who didn’t even dress up. Sakura simply sat on the balcony from Naruto’s room, a drink in her hand, while her emerald eyes watched.

The patio was packed due to the beerpong tournament that Naruto had started up. The music was loud, tons of laughter and chattering, and Sakura found herself alone while she watched people make drunken asses of themselves.

As she threw the rest of her drink back, utterly disgusted with the warm beer, she made her way through Naruto’s room and downstairs to get another drink. She had been catcalled multiple times that night, but instead of responding, she carried on with her night like nothing had happened.

It wasn’t that she was refusing to have fun, she just didn’t want to be there. The moment she walked through the kitchen entry way, instead of heading towards the beer, she grabbed the hard stuff and began to make herself a drink.

“What’re you making?” A familiar sublime voice sounded against the shell of her ear. Sakura felt chills rush throughout her body, and a smile form on her lips.

“What’re you doing here?” She turned her head slightly, yet her eyes remained on the bottle while she poured the liquor into her cup. Once she finished, she turned to see his familiar smouldering eyes and that damned gorgeous smirk of his.

Sasuke’s hair wasn’t artfully ruffled around, or tamed. It was thrown around with hair gel now, his bangs falling over his eyes while he had casual clothes on that Sakura absolutely fell for. A pair of dark gray jeans, a black pullover hoodie, and a pair of Vans. He was such a mature person with a young appearance.

“You look so young,” Sakura cooed, her eyes glistening as she eyed him up and down.

“Hn, considering I still am young,” he retorted with a scoff. “I figured I’d stop by. Some friends of mine said they were coming.”

“Friends?” Sakura questioned almost instantly. Sasuke’s thumb pointed back to a guy with whitish-blue hair and pale skin. The color of his eyes looked almost unreal with that purple hue, but then again, he could’ve been wearing contacts. “Does he teach, too?”

“Nah. He’s still in college. On his last year, though,” Sasuke answered before taking her cup and glancing into it. “What did you make?”

Sakura couldn’t answer him, she couldn’t get over the fact that he was here, at one of his student’s parties, dressed down like some younger version of himself.

He looked fucking amazing.

“Also,” he whispered before reaching around her, “nice costume.”

Sakura felt the familiar blush that she had been experiencing more and more lately come to her cheeks and heat up the tips of her ears. “Ino made me and--”

“I’m serious, nice costume.”

Sakura frowned before stepping aside. “What’re you even doing?”

“Making you something else,” he responded, obviously knowing damn well what he was doing. Sakura simply watched from the side with curious eyes and a tap of her foot.

“Try this,” Sasuke finally handed back the cup before stepping back and pulling his hoodie on over his messy hair. The way it framed his high cheekbones made him look like an angel sent down from the heavens, and Sakura just couldn’t shake how young and casual he looked.

“You’re not scared of getting caught?” Sakura questioned, her anxiety getting the best of her. “You’ll get in trouble, Sasuke.”

He raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. “There’s too many people here to really notice. Plus, I’ll be leaving soon anyways.” His tone was an octave lower, his eyes a shade darker as he smirked. “Care to join me?”

“I can’t,” Sakura spoke too quickly.

Sasuke only nodded. “Fair enough,” his smirk diminished. “I’ll see you around then.”

Sakura felt every ounce of energy leave the moment he turned around, and before he could depart, she called out to him. “Wait!”

His head turned, his eyes landing on her in her silly cat costume.

“Give me two seconds,” she set the drink down and booked it upstairs. She stripped from the crop top that Ino had given her and slid into her own black hoodie, along with a pair of denim skinny jeans. She kept the black flats on, discarded the ears and rubbed the drawn on whiskers and nose off.

With her bag around her shoulders, she came back downstairs and found Sasuke waiting right by the door, girls standing in front of him, trying to strike up a conversation. Sakura stopped on the top stair and watched, but it was just so much like Sasuke to look away the moment they asked a question and have his dark eyes land on her, a smirk painting itself on his lips.

She bounced down the stairs now, meeting him at the door before they left.

“Sakura!”

She felt her blood turn to ice and her body freeze.

“Where are you going?”

It was Ino. When Sakura turned to meet her baby blue eyes, she smiled sheepishly. She could feel her stomach tying itself into a million different knots while sweat began to accumulate against her hairline. Sasuke didn’t move from his spot, he had frozen too and waited for Sakura to convince Ino as to why she was leaving.

“I’m going home,” Sakura lied through her teeth.

“Home? With this guy? Who is this?”

Sakura could hear Ino’s words slurring together, while her steps were sloppy. Now that inched her way closer, she could see the puffy red eyes on her best friend. Even her costume was looking rather haggard now.

“Who is this?” She repeated, but this time with more force to her voice.

Sasuke turned to meet her gaze, and the moment he came face to face with her, her eyes lit up.

“Woah!” Ino shouted. “Hottie!”

Sakura stifled the laugh that escaped through her lips, not only at her friend, but at the look on Sasuke’s face. He looked absolutely unamused, and the longer Ino stared at him, the narrower his eyes grew. Sakura felt that it was convenient to break up their staring contest now.

“Right, we’re going now,” Sakura said as she began to take a few steps away from her blonde friend.

Ino winked before shouting, “text me and tell me about your night!”

Sakura’s face flushed and by the time she turned on her heel, she had her hood pulled up and over her face. Sasuke followed her from behind, and although she wasn’t looking at him, she could sense the smirk on his face while his eyes shimmered with amusement.

“You’re crazy,” Sakura spoke through the fabric. “Damn crazy.”

The minimal light offered by the pale moon was rather eerie, and through Sakura’s insults, she felt Sasuke behind her in seconds. It reminded her of her first day at his condo. The way his lips pressed to the corner of her jaw, the way her body completely shut down at his touch. Now he was behind her again, and shadowing each step that she took.

Sasuke didn’t respond, only remained behind her as she led the way. They were now far away from Naruto’s party; no longer in ear shot of the music or the stragglers that had left already. They passed by trick-or-treaters and parents that walked their children, until they made it to the outer circle. They walked the path that led through the residential part of Konoha, passing by multiple houses and fenced yards.

Their quiet walk eventually stopped when Sakura noticed that she had no idea where she was going. Sasuke, as smart of a man that he is, noticed this far before she did.

“Finally realize that we’re walking blindly in the dark?”

Sakura responded with a scowl before exhaling, her back coming to lean against the nearest trunk of a maple tree. “Did you park somewhere?”

“I did,” he responded casually. He was now standing before her, his eyes gazing down on her.

Sakura felt her heart as it began to soar and her knees lock up. She was no longer casually leaning against the tree, but now, she watched as Sasuke took a step towards her.

“Where are you parked?” She squeaked out.

“Down the road,” he responded before taking another step, “in the opposite direction.”

Sakura was drowning now. She felt those familiar butterflies break free and not only flutter in her stomach, but throughout her entire body. Her emerald eyes stayed on Sasuke, her heart hammering against her chest while a lump formed in her throat.

His cinnamon and smoke scent rushed through her nostrils the closer he got, and now that he was hovering over her body, she could feel the warmth that radiated from him.

Their bodies were hardly brushing now, but the close proximity of him caused her chest to clench and her fingers to tremble. This was the closest she had ever been to a guy, and the fact that is was Sasuke made her entire body go haywire under his intense stare.

Sakura felt her hands reach out to him, one landing on his left pectoral, right above his heart. From there, she could feel the frantic beat of his heart, and he too, had been more than nervous in this intimate moment between the two of them.

“Sasuke,” she breathed out while her other hand came to rest on his other pectoral.

He was built, his body hard from beneath his clothes. Sakura was unfamiliar with what to do in a position like this, but instead of overthinking, she let her body do the thinking for her. With her hands on his pecs, Sasuke’s hand came to rest on her hip, while the other came to play with the ends of her pastel locks.

“Sakura,” he responded with a husky voice. He was closing the gap between the two of them now, his body growing closer to hers until he was leaning right up on her.

Sakura’s arms began to wrap around the back of his neck, her fingers pulling the hoodie from his head and releasing his wild, obsidian locks. She always pondered just how his hair felt, and now she knew; thick but smooth. Her nails massaged the nape of his neck, while the fingers on her other hand ran through the roots of his hair.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” his voice sounded over her ear now. His breath was warm against the skin of her neck, and while she pulled him closer, his lips pressed softly to her ear lobe.

She breathed out both a pleasurable but shocked groan into his ear, and when she felt his lips pull away from her skin, she felt her mind screaming for more.

He pulled his head away now, his eyes staring into hers, almost asking a silent permission. She didn’t know how to respond, she didn’t know what to do now. He was so close, yet so far away and the longer he looked into her eyes with those dark, abyss eyes of his own, the more Sakura desired him.

“Is this is what you really want?”

Sakura felt her lips part, and her eyes grow heavy. Of course this is what she wanted. She was practically breathing him in, soaking him up, the only thing left was to taste his lips against hers.

“Yes,” she breathed out gently.

He blinked once, twice, until his lips were just above hers, his eyelashes closing over his smoldering eyes, and just like Sasuke, Sakura felt her own eyelids close over viridian eyes.

It was almost non existent, yet the most exciting thing in the world. She felt like she was on cloud nine, yet anchored down. The only thing she could feel were his lips pressed to hers, tender and soft, gentle like the fluttering wings of a butterfly.

Sasuke’s hand cupped her cheek, the other resting on her hip while Sakura stood on her tiptoes and pulled him closer. They held each other under the pale light of the moon, their lips pressed together, while their beating hearts beat in unison.

Sakura wasn’t exactly sure why he had pulled away, but as they made eye contact for that brief second, she could see someone different in those dark eyes of his. When he pulled her back into his embrace and his lips pressed against hers once more, she tightened her grip around his neck, relishing in his scent, his touch, and his taste.

Happy fucking Halloween.

[fyeahleoji]

foam flowers and background music

@nikidon for you- basically, coffee shop au: guang-hong draws rosettes in the lattes and leo plays music for the cafe. hope you like!

---

The coffee shop is tucked right in the middle of a train station, so the busiest times are right in the morning and the afternoon, people grabbing a quick latte or croissant before they rush off, briefcases in hand and coattails blowing in the breeze. Guang-Hong's shift is in the evening, though, so it's quiet, usually.

He's a senior in high school, trying to scrape up money to pay for college. On the less busy nights, he'll sit in the back and do homework, but physics is difficult, and he doesn't want to touch it if it's not absolutely necessary. So most evenings he'll just make the coffee and sneak in danishes with Phichit and look at the other people.

The regulars are pretty interesting. One's this extraordinarily cute gay couple that always flirt whenever they order, Victor and Yuuri, if Guang-Hong recalls correctly. There's an angry-looking teenager who usually tags behind them, his face set into a scowl that softens when Guang-Hong draws him a cat in his latte, no matter how much of a distorted blob that cat may be. And then there's Seunggil, who Phichit very much has a crush on.

He likes making stories for them. It helps with the boredom. And Guang-Hong was comfortable with this routine, laughing at Phichit as Seunggil came in, yanking him out from under the counter and coaching him into saying coherent sentences. Guang-Hong himself was single and actually free from crushing as of now.

Then Leo de la Iglesia came along and ruined it all.

---

The first thing that Guang-Hong notices is the guitar case that the new employee has, bulky and dark next to his leg. And then he notices that the boy that the guitar case is attached to has the kindest face that Guang-Hong has ever seen, brown hair hanging loosely around a soft smile that plays around his mouth. He's cute. Guang-Hong is tongue-tied.

"I'm Leo," he says, sticking his free hand out. Guang-Hong takes a second to realize that he's supposed to shake it. "I don't really know what I'm doing..." he confesses.

"I've been here for months, and I still don't know what I'm doing," Guang-Hong responds.

Leo smiles shyly and nervously runs his hands through his hair. "Really, because your latte art seems top-notch."

Guang-Hong stares down at the cup at his hands. He'd done a rosette- almost second nature by now. He likes doing latte art- flowers are his best, although in special circumstances (e.g. murderous-looking teenagers in cheetah-print leggings) he'll venture outside his comfort zone and do animals. "Oh, these aren't all that good... you'd probably do better than me."

Leo raises an eyebrow. "I highly doubt that."

Guang-Hong stares down at his tennis shoes, a damned blush overtaking his face.

"You never told me your name," Leo says. "And my eyesight's kinda bad, so I can't see your name tag."

Guang-Hong bites his bottom mouth. Most people just call him Ji; others try for his first name and butcher it. Maybe if Leo messes up the pronunciation, Guang-Hong will feel less awkward. "I'm Guang-Hong," he says.

"Guang-Hong," Leo tries. His tongue can't quite wrap around the accents, distorting it just a bit, but the syllables are nice and full and trying in Leo's honey-toned voice. "Am I saying that right?"

"Yeah," Guang-Hong says. Now he's really smitten.

Leo's eyes crinkle. "Probably not. It sounded different when you said it. Whatever, I'll get it eventually... I'm going to be here for a couple months."

"I guess I'll teach you how to work the sci-fi coffee machines now, then," Guang-Hong says. "Those are the worst part of this place. And the customers that demand stuff from the secret menu."

"Noted," Leo says, and Guang-Hong smiles.

---

But Guang-Hong isn't actually, actually screwed until Leo plays the guitar a few days in. Apparently, that'd been the reason Celestino had hired him in the first place... the music would be good for customers.

Leo discards the usual coffee-streaked apron and sits on a stool in a dark red shirt. He's got his guitar strapped to his chest, fingers running up and down the string with a familiar kind of ease. He strums a couple chords and Guang-Hong grins as he recognizes the song, a tune called History Maker that he'd been obsessed with a few months ago.

Leo's voice is rich and thick and warm, and Guang-Hong kind of melts, listening to it. Phichit is grinning in an offbrand manner, like he's getting revenge on the past few weeks of Guang-Hong smirking at him. The customers stay longer than usual- [Victor and Yuuri end up staying until the coffee shop closes, and even though Yuri yells he stays right there with him, training his murderous gaze at a textbook].

Guang-Hong is screwed, and he is surprisingly okay with that.

The shop closes, the last three people filtering out the shop, and Guang-Hong groans and comes out from the back of the counter, stretching and getting a towel to clear the tables off. And Leo, even though his voice is kind of rough from hours of singing, continues to play.

(They're the only two people in the shop now, and Guang-Hong feels like he's made of electricity.)

Leo's hands strum the strings, quiet and unsure. The melody is kind of old, but Guang-Hong recognizes the song instantly when the lyrics start. "And all I know is we said hello, and your eyes looked like coming home..."

(And everything, has changed.)

[popgoesthewiener]

Right Where Yours Fit Perfectly - Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak - SFW

Title: Right Where Yours Fit Perfectly Author: Daisy Fandom: South Park Setting: South Park High School Pairing: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak Characters: Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Token Black, Clyde Donovan Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort Rating: T Chapters: 1/1 Word Count: 951 Type of Work: One-Shot Status: Complete Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, Established Relationship, Anxiety Mention, Murder Mention, Murder Fantasies, Fluff Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Summary: Tweek only felt safe when making art or touching Craig, and this covered both bases. AN: So, I have been slowly getting through my Finish Us! Folder of South Park fics. xD I’m down to eleven that need finished. x.x So many. Anyway, this one was just a prompt, and I whipped it up today between therapy and staying in for the night. Who knows, maybe I’ll get another piece up tonight, too. xD You never know, miracles do happen. Prompt: Imagine Person A offering to draw on Person B’s hands since Person A ran out of room on their own hands. Right Where Yours Fit Perfectly ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Craig?” The whisper was soft, barely there at all, but Craig heard it like the other’s voice drowned out the speakers in the gymnasium. “Yeah, Tweekers?” He questioned, voice quiet as he looked over, seeing the doodles taking over his lover’s hands. Lines and swirls and little coffee beans littered the thin, bony things, and Craig smiled a little at the thought that he’d done all of this since the assembly started.

“Can I draw on you?” Tweek asked, his Micron pen ready and quaking with his own hands’ movements. Every little twitch and shudder could be seen by the pen, now, but Craig knew that the second it hit his skin it would be focused and neat. It was this weird thing Tweek could do, zoning out with a pen or brush in hand, that left his lines careful and steady. “Y-your hands.” He clarified, those indigo eyes focused on his boyfriend. “Of course.” Offering out one, palm down, Craig’s brown eyes slowly moved back up to the assembly, watching as the cheerleaders did their thing with waning interest. He wanted to watch the other draw, but knew better; unless he was high, he couldn’t stand people watching him work. No, Tweek was private about all of his art until it was finished, and sometimes it drove Craig up a wall. After a solid five minutes, thin, bony fingers tapped just under the base of Craig’s thumb, and he instinctively flipped his hand over. The slow, rhythmic movements of the thin pen nib had nearly put him into a catatonic state, and by the time he was responding, his brain hadn’t caught up. He glanced over, watching the other’s pen draw swirls and dots, lining his hand in an odd scene he was uncertain had meaning. Of course, Tweek saw meaning in everything, even if there was none to be found. “Tweekers--” “I’ll do the other hand, next. Maybe toni-tonight I can come ov-over and do your back.” The thought of passing out shirtless beneath Tweek as he fake tattooed his back was tempting, and he licked his lips. “Dad’s gonna be home, but I don’t care. You can do it.” A rare, genuine smile slipped onto his face, maybe a bit more lovestruck than he’d meant, and he shook it away. By the way he could feel his face moving, the expression was likely to freak his spastic lover out. “You could probably stay for dinner, too.” “I-I’ll tell my d-d-dad.” Grinning a little, Tweek looked up, and for a second, their eyes met. Tweek leaned in, and Craig followed suit, and for a second, they thought they might kiss. “Craig and Tweek are gaying out!” Goddamnit, Clyde! Craig damn near punched him, especially when a fucking spotlight was put on himself and his nervous lover. Tweek’s arms flailed and he sent his box of pens to the floor, getting up and running out. This, of course, left a peeved Craig to run after him, while Token dutifully collected their things. He shot Clyde a pointed glare, to which the brunet simply replied with ‘what? I couldn’t think of the male equivalent to ‘lezzing out!’The assembly continued as normal, after that. “Tweek?” The noiret tugged his hat off, rubbing a hand through his hair as he rounded the corner towards the music rooms, “Tweekers, c’mon, get out here. Nobody followed me.” “I--” All he had to do after that was follow the sounds of heavy breathing, which brought him to the double doors that lead into the band room. Tweek was huddled in over himself, rocking with his hands over his ears, muttering to himself. Craig was positive he heard ‘twenty-one pink elephants riding unicycles’, and he assumed that was some new thing his therapist was getting him to try. “Tweek, hey…” He whispered again, dropping to his boyfriend’s side and gently placing a hand on his knee, “Starshine, calm down, I--” “I hate it when he does that!” Chucking the pen in his hand as hard as he could into the opposite wall, he was practically quaking with anger and anxiety. “Why does he have to go pointing out all of the bullshit gay things we do? It’s not like we’re the only damn gay kids in South Park! Everyone still fawns over us like we’re some weird, prized pets! I hate it!” Resting his cheek against his knee, he huffed as he looked away, back towards the gym. “I know. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told him to fuck off and he just keeps doing this bullshit.” Craig groused in response, fetching the pen absently before walking over and plunking down beside his boyfriend. Sliding down the door, he smirked. “We should kill him.” “What?” Tweek’s eyes were wide with shock as he stared at the other, lips parted like he had something to say, before he scanned the other’s face. Most people would think he was being honest, with the monotonous tone to his voice and his flat expression. Tweek knew better, relaxing into the door and laughing loudly. “We could splatter his guts all over the gym floor.” The smile on his face bordered on manic but Craig didn’t care, so long as the other was smiling. “Cut him up and send pieces of him to every city in the world. It would take years and talented PI’s to put him back together.” Craig was grinning, now, too, and Tweek reached out his hand, taking the other’s stronger one and slotting their fingers together. He kissed the other’s knuckles and smiled again, this time softer. “With your hand in mine, I’m sure we could do anything.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ AN: Welp. I didn’t expect it to go that way. xD I didn’t really expect it to be long at all, to be honest. So this was a surprise for everyone. ; u; See you in the next fic~