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5sosxqueen · 2 years ago

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~Part 1~ , Part 2 > , Part 3 >

This story is just going to be in Michael's point of view. It is one of my all-time favorites that I have written.

Warnings: depictions of illness, bad grammer, and awkward pet names XD

Written in 2018

Word Count: 2164

Updates every Tuesdays and Thursdays

Also Available on Wattpad and AO3!!!

Part 1:

Michael's p.o.v:

"Ok boys gather 'round! Today we have a photo shoot at 11:15am, a signing right after that, sound check at 7:30pm, and a concert at 8:00pm. You guys will be ok to walk around and explore the city during your free time, as long as you watch the time." Matt explained to us and I internally groaned while the others cheered loudly.

I hadn't been feeling to great since I woke up. My stomach's been in knots and I have the beginnings of a headache. I don't want the other lads to worry about me, so I've kept it to myself.

"We have a couple hours until the photo shoot. What would you guys like to do?" Aston said jumping onto mine and Calum's shoulders causing me to have a shock of pain course throughout my body. As if the headache and stomach ache weren't enough already...

"Ok first things first. Get off me and Michael. It looks like you're hurting the poor guy." Calum said causing Aston to let go of us which I was beyond thankful for. "Now then none of us have eaten so why don't we go to a café or whatever's close by and maybe walk around and see what we can find." I felt my stomach flip at the mere thought of food, but I agreed anyways.

We walked for about 5 minutes before I had to stop. It was sweltering hot out here which wasn't helping my head and stomach in anyway. The boys were talking amongst themselves and hadn't really noticed I stopped. It took a couple of seconds before Luke looked back at me, laughing about some joke, his face immediately dropping at the sight of me. I put my hand up to my head and tried to ignore the twisting in my stomach. I hadn't even noticed they stopped and were looking at me until Luke walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder causing me to jump slightly.

"Sorry bud, you ok?" He said with a slight frown.

"Ya this heat's causing me a headache. I'll be fine though." I said dropping my hand and continued on with the walk. I was trying my best to keep up with both the speed they we're walking and the conversation.

"Michael there's a café right there. We will get you some water and we will all have some food. That should make you feel better." Luke said with a smile. I wasn't paying attention because the heat was causing me to have random dizzy spells. One in particular, right outside the café, had me stop once again to get my bearings. I felt myself sway and Calum rushed over to me and tried to pull me inside. Before he could my vision went black and I felt myself fall.

I opened my eyes a couple seconds later in Calum's arms. I put my hand to my head once again. "What happened?" I asked.

"I think you blacked out mate. Ash can you go inside and see if you can get a wet rag and and a water bottle?" He asked and Ash nodded and went inside. He came back a couple minutes later with both requested items in his hands. He placed the rag on my head and put the water bottle to my lips. I took a couple sips greatfully. "You ready to sit up or do you need a bit?" Calum asked.

"Give me a sec please." I said. I felt my stomach flip again and swallowed thickly, taking a deep breathe. I opened my eyes. "Ok ready." And Luke and Calum gently sat me up.

"Here try to drink some more. Will you be ok to do the photo shoot? We only have an hour and a half before it starts." Luke asked handing me my water and placing the rag on my neck.

"Ya I should be fine. I don't particularly want to do the signing, but I doubt I can get out of it." I said before taking some more sips. They knew it was true. Management could be complete dicks. I felt a stabbing pain in my head and my stomach flip yet again and quickly closed my water bottle.

We sat there for a couple of minutes. "Let's get you inside mate." Ashton said and everyone helped me stand. I got a bit dizzy and grabbed onto his shoulders for support. "You alright?" I nodded and they led me inside and to a table. One of the employees came over.

"Are you ok Michael? I saw you go down... Which you guys handled beautifully by the way. If there is anything you need don't hesitate to ask." She said. I looked up and her she was clearly a fan and she was genuinely concerned.

"Thank you. Umm, what would you recommend? And would it be too much trouble to ask if you or any of the employees have anything for a headache?" I asked wincing at the pain.

"Of course not, no trouble at all. I would recommend the Classic BLT, but we have other sandwiches and salads as well."

"What do you have that is light on the stomach?" I asked and the lads all looked at me. They all suddenly asked me if my stomach hurts at once. "No it doesn't hurt per say, I just don't want to risk eating anything heavily loaded with grease and end up queasy considering that episode a few minutes ago." I lied, raising my hands in defense.

"Ok. We have some soups. I could make you some. I would just need to know which one you would like. And here's a menu for you boys." She said with a grin.

"I'll have some clam chowder thanks." I said hoping I made a good choice.

"Coming right up. I'll be back to take your orders in a couple minutes."

I was not looking forward to trying to eat. My stomach extremely uneasy. She came back as promised with my soup. "Here you are, Boston style clam chowder in a bread bowl and two Tylenols. Now are you guys ready to order?"

"Yes, I'll have the terragon chicken sandwich with some green tea please." Luke said as I reluctantly took a bite of my soup.

"I'll have the curried chicken salad and a water." Calum said with wide eyes making everyone laugh.

"And I will have the Classic BLT and a raspberry tea. Please and thank you." Ashton said with a smile as she wrote all of our orders down.

"Excuse me. Where's your restroom?" I asked feeling awfully gaggy.

"Down that hallway and to your right." She said.

"Thank you." I stood up carefully to avoid a repeat of earlier and puking all over the café floor and sped walked to the, thankfully single person, bathroom. I locked the door and leaned against the sink trying to get the nauseous feeling to pass. I turned the tap on and tried to focus on my breathing. I suddenly gagged very harshly and rested my head in my hands with my elbows supporting my weight. My mouth filled with a lot of saliva and I couldn't swallow it without gagging so I was forced to spit it out. I gagged for several minutes and heard my phone go off. "Shit!" I heaved and only brought up stomach acid, but I felt the nausea subside finally and looked at my phone. 'You ok in there???' Ash texted. I put my phone back into my pocket and made sure the sink was rinsed out before walking back to the table.

I somehow finished my soup and started nibbling on the bread bowl when the other boys finished. I took the tylenol and went to pay. I pulled out the $47.36 the meal cost and the employee put her hand up. "Don't worry about it. It's on the house. Make sure he feels better lads." She said happily. We all thanked her and left.

We decided to walk to the place that the photo shoot was being held since it was only 5 minutes away. The lads we're right eating helped my head and dizziness, but it only succeeded in making me feel way more queasy. I felt better after throwing up a bit, but now it's much worst and I really regret finishing the soup.

We got into the building and into the photography room without any problems. I saw some chairs in the large room and sat down with my head in my hands.

"You ok Michael?" Calum asked walking up to me. I nodded and got back up walking over to the photographer.

"Hello you must be Michael." She said and I nodded.

"I was wondering if I could go first I haven't been feeling to great." I told her and she looked at me sympathetically.

"Of course sweetie. My name's Margaret by the way. If you need to stop at any point let me know." She said and I nodded and thanked her. "Ok can you go over there and make a sexy pose for me?... Perfect! Good job Michael. Now sit down and laugh. I know it's hard to force especially when you don't feel good. I'm sorry babe. Good, good. Ok now take a bow." I did everything she asked of me, although my stomach was trying to protest every second of it. Once I finished I went to the couch I found and rested my eyes until the lads we're finished with there singles.

They came over to the couch and saw I had fallen asleep. Calum and Luke took that as an opportunity to talk to Matt while Ashton watched me.

Around 15 minutes later they woke me up. "Hey buddy. We have a surprise for you." Luke told me.

"What is it?" I asked kind of concerned as to what it might be, because of how out of the blue it was. I sat up slowly and accidentally let a groan slip, but nobody seemed to notice.

"Calum and I told Matt what happened earlier and he called management. They agreed to letting you out of the signing and sound check." Luke informed me. 'Thank God' I was feeling significantly worse after that nap instead of better. I smiled to let them know I heard. I didn't dare move. I was not only very dizzy again, but I kept feeling my stomach trying to expel it's contents once again.

"Breaks over guys let's get started on your group photos." Margret told us. I groaned again as everyone helped me up again and we went back over in front of the camera. "Ok Michael go ahead and sit in that chair sweetheart. Calum sit in that one. Ashton and Luke, you guys stand behind them. All of you make the meanest faces you can. Now go wild and do something crazy!" At that moment I felt bile quickly rising up my throat and held my hand up, signalling to her to wait. I frantically looked around the room and found a large bin in the corner.

I shot of the chair and tried to sprint to it, but to my dismay another stronger wave of dizziness caught me off guard and made me lose my balance. I fell onto my knees and vomited profusely onto the floor. I started shaking violently. I felt hands on my back as I continued to get sick.

"I feel so sick..." I said right before another massive round poured from my mouth onto the floor.

"I know honey, you're ok. You're going to be ok." Margaret sushed me and rubbed my hair gently before getting up to grab someone to clean the mess.

"Michael we are getting you back to the bus. I'm going to see what I can do about moving everything to another day you are way too sick for this." I heard Matt say and walked away as I was reduced to a massive coughing fit. I continued dry-heaving and coughing for 10 minutes before I could finally sit back. I laid down onto Calums lap and he smiled sadly.

"Are you feeling any better after all that?" He asked and I quickly shook my head no with a gag. I sat back up and closed my eyes so I wasn't looking at the puddle of sick under me. I dry heaved again and spit the access spit into the puddle. "I think you got it all up buddy." I shook my head again. I felt vomit shoot up my throat and a wretch turned into a heave bringing up more of my brunch. "Damn. Get it up Mikey." He sighed rubbing my back. Ashton grabbed the chair I was sitting on during the group photo and luke lifted me up once I got a break and sat me on it. I immediately leaned forward with another wretch.

#emeto #5sos

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plaidbooks · 4 years ago

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Everyone Deserves Love - Chapter 13

A/N: This takes place after “Community Policing” (season 17, episode 5), when Rafael indicts the 3 cops. I mention he starts getting threats, but it’s not the one from the show, not yet. But boy oh boy, do you think Devon’s gonna be happy about that?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tags: nightmares, mentions of death, trafficking, smut, oral (male receiving)

Words: 4k+

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @dianilaws

Apartment of Brittany Gomez

Thursday, July 24th. 2:05am

Devon was in the courtroom, sitting in the witness box, confused as to why she was there. She whipped her head around, taking in the empty room. She stood to leave, to get some fresh air outside.

“Sit down, Miss Motely,” a stern voice ordered. She turned to see a judge sitting in his seat, glaring down at her; she sat quickly, heart hammering. She heard murmurs and looked at the gallery, now full of people. The prosecutor was making his way around his table, staring daggers at her.

“So, it was at this point that you murdered both your parents,” he started.

“No, that’s not how it—” Devon started before the judge slammed his gavel, the sound reverberating throughout the room.

“Do not speak out of turn, you murderer,” he spat. Devon looked between the two of them, stuck, shutting her mouth. Her hands started shaking violently as the prosecutor started again.

“You murdered them in cold blood, didn’t you? Just like you murdered all those other people, and why, to ‘save’ someone else? Just justifying murder,” the prosecutor shook his head in disgust.

“I’m not a murderer!” Devon yelled, tears running down her cheeks. “I did save those people!”

“That’s it! Bailiff, take her away!” the judge ordered. A towering man, face in shadows, came and hauled Devon out of the witness box, pinning her arms behind her. She struggled but it was futile; his hands held her wrists in a vice. She screamed, her throat burning, raw from the force of it. She slammed her eyes shut as they went through the door.

Silence. The bailiff’s iron-like grip was gone, though she could still feel where he grabbed her. Devon opened her eyes into the empty corridor. She turned, in slow motion, back towards the courtroom. But behind her was the elevator doors, with Marco Sorrel holding a gun to Barba’s head. Devon felt the cold metal of her glock in her hand, rose it to aim at Marco. But her arm was moving slowly, like it was covered in molasses.

“Help me,” Barba murmured, voice barely above a whisper, but in the silence, it was deafening. His bright green eyes were full of fear. “Please.” There was a gunshot, but it was Marco who shot, red exploding out of the side of Barba’s head.

Devon shot up in bed, panting, gasping for breath. She reached over to the other side of the bed, searching for Barba’s warm, sleeping form. But she found nothing. Panicked, she glanced around the room. It took her a few moments for her still-asleep brain to catch up; she was undercover right now, she wasn’t home. Barba wasn’t there.

Sighing, she looked at the clock, groaning at the time. Devon picked up her phone. Well, technically, it was Brittany Gomez’s phone; Devon’s phone was left at Barba’s—their place. Though, she still knew his number by heart, she couldn’t bring herself to wake him in the middle of the night for something as silly as a nightmare. Even if it was a mixture of an old, reoccurring one and a new hell added on. Instead, she took the phone case off, pulling out the folded photo tucked away there. She unfolded the already-worn picture, gazing down at it lovely. It was a picture of Barba and Devon in Central Park, Barba with both arms around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Devon was all smiles in the picture, obviously incredibly in love. Wiping away a tear, she put the picture back in the phone case before laying back in the bed, hoping for at least a little bit of a peaceful rest.

Big G’s Place

Friday, July 25th. 11:30pm

Devon moved her way through the other Johns and Janes, trying not to stare at anyone’s face for too long, but long enough that the camera in her glasses picked up their facial recognition in the FBI database. She finally found a girl—probably no older than 13—that was being manhandled by some drunken John. Devon moved up to the girl, giving her a seductive smile.

“Come on, honey. I can treat you better than this stiff,” she purred. In some part of her brain, a part that was heavily under lock and key, she shuddered at her own actions. But Brittany Gomez liked young girls, especially the ones that were developing early. So, she took this young girl’s hand and pulled her away from the John, who was way too drunk to even notice—he seemed like he had actually passed out on the sofa during this interaction.

Devon collapsed back into an armchair, dragging the girl into her lap. The girl fell against Devon’s shoulder, her head leaning against the chair slightly above hers. Devon kept a hand on her hip, holding her there, but otherwise didn’t touch her, instead taking this time to look around at the partygoers, praying that her team would raid the place, and soon. They were simply waiting for the main pimp to show up, that way they could pick everyone up in one fell swoop. Devon had already seen at least three off-duty cops, all carrying their guns; she wanted to make sure those three were taken care of in case things got ugly. Phones weren’t allowed at this party, but her and her team had their own code when it came to UC’s like this, and Devon had already green-lit the armed partygoers. But Devon was unarmed, one of her least favorite feelings. Which was why she picked out the most miserable girl she could find, to maybe help at least someone.

Just then, a big, white man came bursting in like he owned the place, gold chains hanging off his neck, leather jacket open, gun displayed proudly in his waistband.

Looks like Big G is here, Devon thought, unconsciously tightening her grip on the girl in her lap. The girl squirmed and Devon loosened her grip. “Sorry, baby,” she murmured, keeping as much desire in her voice as she could, but eyes never leaving the new threat in the room.

The FBI waited until he had moved into the center of the room before bursting in through every entrance, blocking the escape routes. Devon grabbed the girl protectively and flipped over the arm of the chair, landing on top of the girl on the ground in a defensive position.

“Stay down,” she ordered, all business. The girl nodded as the commotion around them ended just as quickly as it started, no shots fired. Devon slowly stood, hands up until the team’s leader came over to her.

“Great work, Motely,” she said. Devon nodded in acknowledgement before lending a hand to the girl who was still prone on the floor.

“You—you’re a cop?” the girl ground out.

“FBI actually. Don’t worry; you’re safe now,” Devon replied, helping her up.

Apartment of Brittany Gomez

Saturday, July 26th. 1:30am

Devon threw herself down on the bed, skimpy clothes and makeup still on. This was the 5th bust as many cities in the past two weeks, and she was exhausted. Sure, she was glad to be doing her job, to be helping these kids that they were picking up from these parties. But it was tiring, pretending that she was interested in children, the stress of being caught or uncovered at any moment, the rush of adrenaline leading up to and during the raids. Plus, she missed Barba every moment of every day, unable to talk to him, of even reaching out. And her nightmares were getting more frequent; sometimes Marco would kill Barba, sometimes she would kill Marco and have to deal with Barba’s wrath, and once, she had killed Barba. That last one had shaken her to her core, and she didn’t sleep the rest of that night or the next, afraid of what she might see when she closed her eyes.

The only thing she had to keep her sane was the photo of them from their first date, and even that was wearing quickly, the creases in the material causing the color to fade, the paper tearing in some spots. She was careful handling the picture, afraid it would rip, and then she’d have nothing of him to look at, to have and to hold throughout this raid-fest. And there was no end in sight to these parties. It was almost as if Jenkins were testing her abilities, making sure that she could still work to her fullest, dating or not. And she was determined not to fail.

Devon got up, dragging herself to the bathroom to strip off her makeup before attempting to sleep. Even on the nights that she didn’t have nightmares, her dreams came in random clips, hardly memorable in the morning. But she usually woke up more exhausted than when she went to bed. She sighed; at least she didn’t have another party to attend for three days. Just enough time to move apartments, establish herself, and gain an invite. She sighed heavily as she scrubbed the eyeshadow off.

Apartment of Brittany Gomez

Sunday, September 3rd. 2:15am

Devon packed; she was exhausted, another week meant another three raids. But she was also excited. The raid she just got back from was the last one, and now, she was going home. Just the thought of being back in NYC, of being back in the apartment she shared with Barba, of curling up against him, his warm breath on her neck—it was enough to make it so that she knew she wouldn’t sleep. So, instead, she busied herself with packing, grabbing her meager amount of things—mostly clothes and a few toiletries. The rest of her “belongings” were really the department’s; the FBI would take care of it. She looked to her car keys, innocently laying on the nightstand, debating snatching them up and driving back tonight. But it was an eight-hour drive from West Virginia back to New York, and Devon was afraid that she’d fall asleep on the drive, excited to be home or not.

So, she finished packing, then forced herself to lay down, hoping to get some sleep before the long drive home. Her eyes had barely closed when she received a text. Groaning, she rolled over to look at it; no one should be able to message her except her boss. And sure enough, it was a message from Jenkins. Though, he was passing a message on from a “Detective Carisi.” Sonny? Devon thought, opening the text. She read it, then read it again. A third time.

Wide awake now, adrenaline pumping through her veins, Devon grabbed her things, hurrying to her rental car. She shot a quick text to Barba, asking if he was awake. He wrote back instantly, and she called him while she pulled onto the highway.

“You’re being threatened by police?” Devon blurted out as soon as he answered.

Barba sighed. “Fucking SVU…” he muttered under his breath before explaining, “three cops gunned down an unarmed black man. I indicted them, and then the threats started coming in. Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about? Rafael, what the fuck?” Devon’s mind was going a mile a minute. She realized dimly that she was speeding, her foot pressing on the gas in her panic. She eased off, putting on cruise control once she was at the speed limit.

Barba was quiet for a long time before he spoke again. “I missed your voice.”

All of the tension and adrenaline was sucked out of her. Devon felt herself deflate under his voice. They hadn’t seen each other, much less spoke, in over a month, and the first time they talk, she’s freaking out.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered back. Tears started to form, but she blinked them away. She wasn’t even sure why they had appeared in the first place; she just missed him that much. And now, he was potentially in danger.

“Are you okay to drive? It’s late.” He was changing the subject, trying to distract her, and she knew it. But she also really, really, didn’t want to fight him about this. Especially after they haven’t spoken in so long, nor over the damn phone.

She smiled softly. “I’m fine. I just want…I need to be there. I need to be home, with you.”

“Caller ID said you were calling from West Virginia. That’s a…long drive. Pull over and sleep if you need to; I’ll still be here when you get home,” he promised.

“I will, baby. But I’m pretty awake right now.”

He chuckled darkly at that. “You sound like it.”

Devon stuck her tongue out, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “Sleep, Rafa. Don’t wait up for me. Like you said, it’s late.”

“I’ll sleep better when you’re here.” It was an innocent statement, but there was a layer of something else underneath it. Something that sounded a lot like sadness. She felt it too; she always slept better curled against him.

“Soon, babe. I promise. I love you,” Devon said, wishing beyond anything that she could just magically teleport home.

She could hear his grin when he replied. “I love you, too. Drive safe, please. Come home safely.”

Apartment of Rafael Barba and Devon Motely

Sunday, September 3rd. 10:42am

Devon knew that she was supposed to go to the Bureau first, to return the rental car and to debrief with Jenkins, but she couldn’t force herself; she had to see Barba first, to make sure he was alright, that he was safe. The rational side of her knew that she would know if he wasn’t, that someone from SVU would’ve told her, but she didn’t care; she was going to make sure.

The elevator ride seemed to take forever. When it dinged, signifying that she was on their floor, she forced the doors open before running down the hallway. Barba must’ve heard her footsteps, because he opened the door to their loft, sticking his head into the hallway, face breaking into a huge smile when he saw Devon. He came out of the loft, and Devon threw herself into his arms, hugging him close. He wrapped his arms around her back, chuckling as he held her.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered into the crook of his neck. She pulled back, just enough to look into his eyes, before she peppered his face with kisses, lips brushing everywhere.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he laughed lightly. “I’m glad you’re safe. I was worried.” They finally released each other, though, Barba interlaced his fingers with hers as he pulled her inside their home.

“I should be saying the same to you; I can’t believe you got NYPD threatening you now,” Devon replied, collapsing onto the love seat. Now that she was home and positive that Barba was safe, her exhaustion slammed into her.

Barba disappeared into the kitchen and then came back, steaming mug of coffee in his hands. He passed it to her, and she took a grateful sip, letting it warm her. He took a seat next to her, pulling her legs over his own, hands mindlessly squeezing, massaging her calves.

“I’m fine, Cariño. They won’t do anything,” he gave her a look, as if the whole thing were ridiculous.

“But they can get someone to do something. I hate not being here; I mean what happens if someone confronts you, and I’m in Jersey?”

“Dev, you can’t be around me 24/7,”—she smirked at him, raising an eyebrow—“that was a special circumstance. You can’t do it every time someone threatens me; you’d never not be there.”

Devon gave him a hard stare over her mug. “Oh? Has someone already threatened you? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Barba chuckled, pinching the skin above her knee. “No, no. Nothing more than the normal amount.”

“Rafael Barba, has someone threatened your life?”

He realized quickly that Devon had gone from playful to serious; she was actually worried about him now. He gave her a reassuring smile. “None that should be taken seriously.” When she glared at him, he continued, “it comes with the job, Hermosa. You think the Aces were the first to ever threaten me? They were just the first that were stupid enough to try anything. I get threats monthly…if it makes you feel better, people threaten you, too, but you don’t see me getting up in arms about it. If I thought any of them had any real weight behind it, I’d take precautions.”

“And your precautions would be to tell me, right?” Barba didn’t answer right away, and Devon took her legs back from him, sitting up straight. “Right, Rafael?”

He smiled sheepishly under her intense gaze. “Si mi amor…unless, of course, you were undercover or otherwise—”

She threw the hand not holding coffee into the air. “So, that’s why I had to hear it from Sonny? No, fuck that, you tell me first,” she reiterated. “I don’t care what I’m doing for the Bureau. I’m not letting anything, or anyone, hurt you dammit. Not if I can stop it.” He sighed, knowing that this was not a fight he was going to win.

Office of Devon Motely

FBI Headquarters

Monday, September 18th. 3:08pm

Devon smiled, hitting “send” on her last email. She double checked everything, making sure all of her paperwork and other, small assignments were done. She wanted to surprise Barba, bring him dinner; she knew he was supposed to be working late tonight, so she thought she’d stop by his office. It had been weeks since the last threat from the NYPD, and even that one, Devon had to admit, was pretty weak. She still asked Olivia to post extra surveillance around him, since Devon had been too busy to be there every day; though, she had been in his office on her days off, shooting death glares at every cop who so much as coughed in Barba’s direction. She was in the process of bargaining time off from Jenkins, first claiming that it was a family emergency, then saying that dating Barba wasn’t “interfering with her work,”—doing 24/7 protection was something she had done for SVU before she was dating Barba. Though Barba was quick to remind her that nothing had happened, she wasn’t quite willing to wait until something did.

Devon confirmed Barba’s late night again, shooting him a text about dinner; he replied with a “get anything you want, don’t wait up for me, I’ll eat in my office tonight.” Knowing him, he wouldn’t order until way too late, so she had plenty of time to make it there. She was kind of shocked no one commented on her outfit at work; she had a simple sundress on rather than her normal jeans and shirt.

As she left the Bureau, she called in a takeout order from his favorite Cuban place—the food was almost as good as his Mamí’s…almost—before heading to the small flower shop in between the restaurant and her work. Devon knew Barba loved giving her gifts, but she liked to reciprocate, too. And she knew that he secretly loved carnations. She had planned this well in advance; she had called the flower shop weeks ago to place an order for two dozen carnations, all different colors. She picked the flowers up, smiling at how pretty they were, and then grabbed the food.

Office of Rafael Barba

1 Hogan Place

Monday, September 18th. 5:07pm

The elevator dinged and Devon stepped off, heading towards her boyfriend’s office. She ran into Carmen as the latter was standing up to leave for the day.

“Those are beautiful, Devon,” Carmen commented, a soft smile spreading across her lips.

Devon grinned back. “Just don’t tell anyone that Rafael likes carnations,” she winked, and Carmen giggled. Devon didn’t think there was anything wrong with men liking flowers, but Barba was sometimes too macho for his own good. Carmen moved around Devon, opening the door for her.

“Delivery for a Mr. Barba,” Devon announced, coming into the office. She heard Carmen chuckle as she closed the door, leaving the two of them alone.

Barba looked up from his desk, eyes widening at the sight of Devon standing there, food in one hand, a vase and carnations in the other. He smirked, standing.

“For me?” He came over, taking the flowers from her and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“No, the other Mr. Barba,” she smirked, moving to place the food on his desk, careful not to put it on top of any papers.

“Smartass,” he murmured hugging her, pulling her in for a kiss. She hummed happily, fingers going to the nape of his neck, playing with the soft hairs there.

Devon pulled back, smiling at him. “Have you eaten lunch today?” Before he could answer, his stomach grumbled loudly. “I thought not. Come, let’s eat.” She gave him a playful shove towards the couch while she plucked the bag of food from his desk.

“I’ve got so much work left,” he complained. But still, he went to the couch, sitting down hard.

“And it can wait until you eat,” she replied. She couldn’t fault him too much; she often forgot to eat when working.

She passed him his food, and he groaned as he opened the box, the smell of the food quickly filling the room. “God, what would I do without you?”

“Starve to death, apparently,” Devon said simply, making him chuckle.

They started eating in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. Finally, Barba put his box down, and asked, voice losing its playful tone, “but seriously, what would I do without you?”

Devon glanced at him, seeing how his green eyes were staring into hers, eyes sparkling in that way they did when he was thinking too quickly. She swallowed her food hard, squirming under the intense gaze. “I’m not sure; I’d like to think you’d still be here, working your way towards becoming a judge….”

Barba chuckled; he was going to have to spell it out for her, wasn’t he? But how to go about it…? “I know we’ve talked about it before, on this very couch, but it was so long ago, and things have changed. So, I’d like to ask again; have you ever thought about getting married?”

Realization washed over Devon, her eyes brightening in clarity. Oh…. “I…yes, I have, actually.” Her face flushed at the admission. “But I don’t think I’m ready; not yet. I just…with work and—and everything else—”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not, uh, proposing right now,” he laughed nervously. “I just wanted to know how you felt about it…test the waters, so to speak….”

“Don’t get me wrong; I’d love to marry you, Rafi. I’m just…I don’t know how it’d work with how little we already see each other. Maybe…maybe if I get a transfer in the Bureau? Switch to a desk job or something….”

Barba scoffed, “you’d hate that, though; you’re a field agent through and through. Look, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. But—I’m just happy to know that you feel the same way I do.”

Devon smiled, moving closer to him on the couch, leaning against his arm. “Of course, I do. I love you so damn much; it hurts whenever I’m not with you.”

He moved his arm to wrap around her, bringing her into his side. “I know, but it’s nice to hear you say it.” He turned his head to kiss her cheek. She grinned evilly, taking this time to throw her leg over his, straddling him, pulling him in for a deep kiss.

“I’ll tell you how much I love you as many times as you want me too. But I’d also like to show you,” she murmured against his lips, grinding her hips against his. He groaned, hands dropping to her hips. She reached behind him, dragging her nails down his clothed back in the way she knew he liked, causing his breathing to hitch. She could feel him hardening against her.

“You know my rule against office sex,” he grunted, breath hot against her neck. It was true; the first time she tried to relieve some of his stress during a late night at work, he declined, citing that this office needed less scandals. Not that he didn’t want to bend her over the desk and fuck her until she screamed. But even this late at night, someone else could come walking into his office at any time.

“What if I only used my mouth? I’m sure you could keep quiet,” she whispered into his ear, dragging her nails down his back again. Fuck, she knew how to push him. She grinded against his now rock-hard cock, his fingertips leaving bruises in the skin of her hips. Barba couldn’t think past the bulge in his pants, the woman kissing his neck, the nails trailing down his back. Fuck it, he thought.

“F-fine, but be quick about it,” he ordered. Devon got up and locked the door, quickly coming back to Barba, dropping to her knees instantly. She used her palm to rub him through his pants, and he tilted his head back at the friction. She undid his belt, unzipped his pants, but left his boxers untouched. Grinning, she leaned forward, mouthing him through the fabric.

“Dammit, Dev, I said quick!” he said, his hips unconsciously rutting forward towards her hot mouth. She innocently looked up at him through her eyelashes, giving him a wink, before pulling him free of his boxers, the cool air of the office against his hot skin making him hiss.

Devon licked her lips before leaning forward, licking around the tip. She used her tongue to follow the prominent vein all the way to the base before coming back, spreading the pre-cum along his shaft. She gripped his base with one hand before taking him in slowly, pushing him deeper, inch by inch, until he hit the back of her throat. She hummed in satisfaction, the vibrations working their way through him.

“F-fuck, Hermosa,” he groaned, eyes fluttering closed. He put a hand on the back of her hand, but more to steady himself than to move her. She pulled him back out to the tip, then took him back in, sucking hard, hollowing her cheeks, and stroking what she couldn’t fit. She did this a couple more times before Barba could no longer control himself, beginning to thrust into her mouth. Devon gagged at first, but relaxed her throat, taking him further and further in. With her free hand, she started massaging his balls gently.

“God, you’re so beautiful, taking my whole cock,” he grunted, starting to pull on her head, fucking her face fully now, chasing his release. She hummed in approval, gripping his thigh, her sign for him to cum. It took him a couple more thrusts before he was cumming deep in her throat, groaning her name into the empty office space. She milked him for everything he had, swallowing all of it. Once he began softening in her mouth, she released him, wiping her mouth with her fingers, sucking the rest of him off her digits.

“Holy fuck, Cariño,” he murmured, watching her with lust-blown eyes.

Devon smirked at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to try office sex?” He quickly tucked himself back into his pants, redoing his belt, before she could see him hardening again at the thought.

“I’m sure. Just wait until I get home tonight,” he replied, pulling her in for a deep kiss. He released her, giving her a sad look, “but I really do have a lot of work to do.”

She chuckled. “I know, baby. I’ll wait up for you.” Then, while making eye contact with him, she reached under her dress, pulling off her drenched panties, and handed them to him. “Just something to remember me by.” She gave him another wink as she unlocked the door, smirking as his eyes darkened, and left.

#rafael barba x oc #everyone deserves love #edl #everyone deserves love chapter 13 #edl ch 13 #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing

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klynn-stormz · 5 years ago

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Legally Swan Chapter 3

AO3: 1 I 2 I 3 I

CH 3

Emma looked around the small dorm room; it was bigger than she was expecting it to be, but still the size of a closet, a twin bed sat on side of the room, facing a small window, the closet made her cringe and think that it was a good thing she had packed light. She didn’t care much about the size, she’d slept in smaller accommodations before, and honestly, she had this gut churning excitement coursing through her. Here she was a Harvard, holy shit she was a Harvard, she had done it! She had hoped and dreamed about it, but she always had that sliver of doubt that it would not go in her favor. But she had done it and now she was here to prove herself. She thought back to her mom’s final words to her before she got in her little bug to drive cross-country to Cambridge.

“I know you have an idea of why you are doing this, but please try to put yourself first Emma. Make sure that you are happy rather than trying to make others happy.”

She understood her mother’s reluctance to accept that she was doing this for Neal, and maybe she was doing this for herself as well, she just needed to prove to her that Neal was worth it. Because he was, wasn’t he? Emma has met him her first year at UCLA, they had been together for a while and just seemed perfect. So what if he told her things she needed to fix about herself, he was just trying to help her be a better person. And sometime he was annoyed if he felt she had bested him on something, it as just his pride, it wasn’t a big deal when he put her down. She already knew most of what he told her was true anyway. She wasn’t the prettiest without makeup or good clothes, he just wanted her to look her best, there was nothing wrong with that. He thought she wasn’t smart, he had told her that before he broke up, but if she ever tried to show him she was smart, he would get angry and say she was just trying to one up him. She stopped trying to show him. The dumb blonde act wasn’t hard to keep up when people expected you to be that. She was certain that this would show him who she was and how perfect she was for him.

“Henry, are you ready to become a lawyer?” She asked her little dog, he perked up and barked at her, obviously agreeing.

When Emma had been with Ingrid for about six months, Ingrid had noticed she was showing symptoms of anxiety. It wasn’t until she witnessed a bad anxiety attack of hers that she finally convinced Emma to go to a doctor with her. When she was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder Emma felt even more broken than she had before. The doctor recommended medicine to help her through the attacks, and even suggested a service dog to help her during the attacks; she has shown reluctance to the first and interest in the second. Ingrid had immediately gone online to find the best service dog providers and with all permissions filled out she had gotten Emma dog who had recently completed training.

Henry didn’t seem like much, he was tiny and pretty scrawny, but Emma had fallen in love on site, and vice versa. Since then they were inseparable. It had been nerve-wracking trying to make sure that they would accept her bringing Henry to Harvard with her, of course by law they had to, but service dog laws were still minimal, and most people assumed that she was just using that as an excuse to drag her dog everywhere with her. Since getting Henry and finding the right medication her anxiety attacks had been reduced drastically. While she still had them, they weren’t as debilitating nor painful as they had been.

She was taken out of her thoughts by another bark from Henry, and she got to work on unpacking her room. It was two days before the semester would officially begin, all of her books were out, she was trying to make sure she had done all the reading required for each class before they began. A lot of the language was hard to understand at first, but she was starting to get the hang of it. Once she was all unpacked she relaxed on her bed to watch a few Netflix episodes she has missed, but after a few hours she felt restless. Maybe it was time to do some exploring around town.

---

It was a college town, so there was some nightlife, but it was tame compared to what she had dealt with at UCLA. She found a small bar at one end of town called the Rabbit Hole, it wasn’t crowded but it wasn’t dead inside either. After ordering a beer and finding a quiet booth in the back, she pulled out one of her textbooks and began going over the reading for her first class tomorrow, Law & Ethics. It was with a teacher named Professor Elsa Arendale, Emma had looked up reviews for her on a rate my professor site. She seemed harsh, cold even, with most of the students saying if you didn’t have the right answers she would kick you out of class. Emma did not want to be kicked out on her first day, and with her luck it would happen, so she was going to be prepared as she could.

“I don’t think studying is the best option at a bar on a Saturday night love.” A smooth British voice interrupted her studying.

“Not your love.” She replied automatically, not moving her eyes away from the textbook.

“Well then, I’ll need a name to call you by.” He responded; his cheerful voice seemingly not affected by her ‘back off’ tone.

“Look, I’m really not in the mood to deal with a man who assumes I need company when I'm obviously busy.” She sniped back, finally turning her eyes towards him.

Everything froze for a moment when her eyes met the most gorgeous vivid blue ones she had ever seen. He had a square, slightly stubbled jaw his mouth was stretched into a beautiful grin, one of his eyebrows was raised as she took him in. His dark hair brushed at his forehead, it made her want to run her fingers through it and see if it was as soft as it looked. Taken back by her thoughts she blinked and tried to focus.

“Well? Can I get a name now?” He asked. “I might just keep calling you love.”

“You’re going to stick around long enough? Really?” She asked, suspicious and not really liking his overall pushiness.

He shrugged before replying. “Not if you really don’t want me too, you looked stressed while reading and I thought I’d see if I could make you smile. I’d say I’ve almost accomplished it.”

She held back a small smile "And your way of doing it was to critique me?" She settled on staying annoyed with him. She definitely didn't need this right now.

"Well when you put it like that, you're right, bad form." He agreed. He grabbed her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles. "My sincerest apologies."

She smiled and blushed a little at his actions. Emma hoped that the bar was dark enough he wouldn't see. "Since you seem intent on staying." She gestured for him to sit down

“Killian Jones as your service.” He smiled and again she was struck by just how gorgeous it was.

“Emma Swan.” She finally conceded, much to his apparent delight.

“Swan, it suits you. Now what in the hell are you doing at a bar on a Saturday night with law textbooks?”

“I don’t know you well enough to give you my life story, but I’ll tell you it’s my first year at Harvard and I’m trying to make sure I’m prepared, but I needed to get out of my room for a bit.”

“Ah, that makes much more sense. When I’m not saving damsels in distress, I’m getting ready for my final year.” Killian gave her a crooked smile.

“Hey, the only one who saves me is me. In fact I’d go as far to say that you are distracting me from my purpose.” She glared at him.

He put his hands up in placation. “Love, you were about to die of boredom or a migraine, I couldn’t very well let that happen! Besides, now that I’m here I can give you inside advice on the teachers you’ll be dealing with.”

Emma tilted her head at that, it would be nice to have some first hand information on the professors.

“Let me see your schedule.” Killian said, holding out his right hand. Emma rolled her eyes, but thought it would be nice to have a little more information from a senior who had probably dealt with most of the teachers she would meet. Pulling it up on her phone, she handed it over. He scrolled through, one eyebrow raising as he saw her classes. She already had it memorized:

7am-9am MWF-Ms. Elsa Arendale: Law and Ethics

9:30am-10:30am MWF-Mr. Isaac Print: Legal Research 101

11:15am-1:30pm MWF-Mr. Robert Gold: Complex Law & Politics

8am-11am TTH- Mr. Graham Humbert: Criminal Law Introduction

12pm-2pm TTH- Ms. Ruby Lucas: Civil Law

“Wow, you’ve got some good ones. In fact most of these will probably end up being your teacher through the rest of university.” He commented.

“So what can you tell me about them?” She asked, trying not to seem too eager.

“Well, Ms. Arendale is a hardass, she rules her class like a kingdom. Make sure you are over prepared for her, if not she’ll have no qualms kicking you out. She doesn’t tolerate people with no drive, so you’ll need to make sure you try to speak up every class. Mr. Print is, well, creepy. I honestly don’t know why he’s a teacher for law, he’s much more interested in news and politics than anything else, sit in the back in his class, he tends to lisp and spit.” He gave her a crooked grin, which she returned. “Mr. Gold hires four interns for his law office every year, so fight hard to make your case. He expects to see hard work, and likes a little blood in the water between classmates. Last semester he actually had a fist fight break out in one of his classes, he didn’t try to stop it, let them fight till one was unconscious. While the student was carried out by a few of her friends, he proceeded to lecture us about being prepared to go to war to prove your point. He doesn’t have any ethics, no qualms as long as he wins.”

Emma shifted uncomfortably as he related this information. He caught it and quickly backtracked. “He’s not the worst person, he’s just… well,” He paused for a moment to think about it. “he’s like a crocodile. Just waiting for some unsuspecting creature to get close enough to snap.”

“I thought lawyers were supposed to be sharks.” Emma joked.

“Oh most of them are, rest assured. But him, he’s different. Sharks go on the attack pretty fast, and most of the time their pray knows they’re after them. But crocodiles, they’re a quiet kind of dangerous. He doesn’t attack till he knows he can win. He has deep pockets and a lot of sources to keep him on top. Don’t let your guard down with him. And don’t give up on that internship, it’s the most coveted here, it pretty much guarantee’s you will have job offers when you graduate.”

Emma tilted her head. “Did you get the internship?”

“Aye, worked bloody hard for it too.” He spoke proudly.

“So how about the rest of the teachers?” She asked.

They got into a discussion about the rest the teachers she would have, which turned into recommendations for next semester, then his favorite classes. He tried to ask a few questions about her but she evaded them like a pro. It was getting late, time to go get some sleep, and Henry was probably missing her.

“I better get going.” She announced, gathered in books and standing up. He stood up as well and she was a little surprised that he walked out the door with her.

“May I walk you to your dorm milady?” He asked with that crooked grin, it made her heart stutter for a moment before she shook it off.

“Oh so now you’re a gentleman.” She asked, she wouldn't admit it was maybe a bit flirtatious.

“Darling, I’m always a gentleman.” Killian responded, his tongue flicking across his lips.

“I can handle myself. Thanks for the help tonight.” Emma said, and walked away.

“See you around Swan.” He called to her, making her smile at the nickname.

---

“I don’t have time to mess around Henry! I can’t get distracted by some guy.” Emma was pacing her room after returning from the bar. Henry barked and she rolled her eyes.

“Yes, okay, he was attractive.” Henry barked again. “Oh my gosh stop pushing! He was funny and interesting and maybe he didn’t see me as just a blonde. But none of that matters! I’m here for Neal remember? I’m going to prove to Neal that I’m good enough for him.”

She could almost see Henry roll his eyes. Great, she had no one to talk to but her dog now. She needed to sleep. Her room was all unpacked, she had studied, and she had had a fun night. Should could admit that to herself privately.

The next day was boring as well. Emma caught up on all reading for the classes, reading a few of the cases and quizzing herself to make sure she understood. She felt ready to go take on Harvard and show Neal who she was. Maybe she'd even run into the blue-eyed Brit a few more times.

#cs fic #Captain Swan #legally blonde au #cs ff #captain swan ff #legally swan

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dementedgnomicwizard · 5 years ago

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schedule of Events my last few days

-tuesday night we went to see cats and got home probably around 1, tossed and turned til 7:30ish, drifted off for a bit

-wednesday 8:15AM woke up for my 9 am drawing studio, took my adderall

-wednesday 9AM-11:50AM had the first half of studio

-wednesday 11:50AM-1PM took the supply list the teacher gave me to blick bc im the only new addition to the class this semester so i was the only one who didnt have what we needed -_-

-wednesday 1PM-3:50PM second half of studio, went home and hung out for a little bit

-wednesday 4:50PM left forr my 5pm studio class

-wednesday 7:20PM studio ended and i told devin i was gonna stay in the lab and try to get just a bit more of my homework done in advance

-thursday 2:45AM i finally fucking look at the clock for a second and realize what ive done

-thursday 3:15AM i go home and shower

-thursday 4:somethingAM i realize im not gonna be able to fall asleep and resign myself to wandering our apartment until 8

-thursday 8AM started getting ready for my morning class, took my adderall

-thursday 9:30AM-11:50AM morning class

-thursday 11:50AM-12:10PM went home with devin and started listening to the tma s2 q&a together

-thursday 12:12PM julia texts me “WERE DESTROYING A TREE” without any further context and i leave the room at a sprint to get to dain’s room where i know they must surely be

-thursday 12:15PM-12:35PM we invent new tree- and sled-based sports in the parking lot

-thursday 12:35PM i excuse myself to go back inside and finish my homework before my afternoon class

-thursday 12:40-1:15 spent fruitlessly trying to get tree sap off my hands until devin wisely pours canola oil on me

-thursday 1:30-2PM finished my homework really fast and spent the rest of my time producing latex worms at a feverish pace

-thursday 2PM-4:20PM afternoon class, i stay behind for like 10 more minutes after class because i was typing up a document for my tma rp acc lmfao (this is also the class period during which i planned the tunnel tweets in their entirety)

-thursday 4:45PM i arrive back at the dorm to see if devin is ready to go to the tunnels with me and he’s not cause he’s eating soup. i hang out and wait for a little bit because i had to do make sure all the worms were dry and pack them up anyway but once the worms were packed and he still wasnt done i decided to just go by myself

-thursday 5:15PM arrive at the machinery building trying soooo hard not to look suspicious or like i’m making a beeline for the tunnels

-thursday 5:35ishPM leave the machinery building much sweatier and MUCH, MUCH more dirt-covered than when i entered

-thursday 5:45PM frantically scrub the rust/dust/dirt/tunnel muck off as much of me as i can and smoke a little of devin’s weed before we leave for class, took my afternoon/evening class adderall. realize we both forgot to shoot reference videos as we’re walking out the door, run back inside, shoot videos quickly, run to class

-thursday 6-8:20PM class, also this was when i was finally posting the tma tweets i’d drafted earlier w/ attached pics, one every few minutes

-thursday 8:30PM walk to prontos with devin

-thursday 9ish-like 12AM hang out with devin jade and g

-now it is friday 3:15 AM i dont know how i got here. i gotta go to fucking beddy bye but i cant make myself get up to take my makeup off

#long post #this is so boring dont read it #im just figuring out schedule stuff

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kpopmultifan127 · 5 years ago

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Thunderstorm Nights

It was a dark stormy night and the sound of the thunder and the brightness of the lighting always frightened her. She couldn’t sleep and as she lay there staring at the ceiling at 1 in the morning wishing he’d come back home already and be with her. Her boyfriend Jeno was too busy to be with her during the storm because of his tour. She hadn’t seen him in weeks because he had to prepare non stop with no rest to make sure this concert was perfect. Dee had to do her best to stick out the storm and get some rest for her final exams were coming up and needed to study as much as she could. A text message lit up her phone as she checked to see it was she felt at ease to see who it was from.

From: Jeno My Love

01:03 AM: Are you ok? I know the storm must be scary for you I’m sorry I

can’t be there with you. :(

To: Jeno My Love

01:05 AM: Don’t be sorry. I need to learn to be more brave with this and not always count on you to be here. Why are you still up? Are you still rehearsing?

From: Jeno My Love

01:09 AM: We just finished our final rehearsal until our first day of the tour. I heard the storm outside and I knew you didn’t like thunderstorms and so I wanted to see if you were ok.

To: Jeno My Love 01:11 AM: I’ll be ok now that I heard from you <3

Then suddenly after she sent that text she received a FaceTime call and it was her love Jeno calling. As she picked it up she smiled to see a familiar smiling face on the other end. “How about I call you like this” he told her with a smile. His smile always made her heart skip a beat and she felt warm inside. “I really wish I could be there with you” he added. “I do too. But you’ve worked so hard for this, my fear of the storm shouldn’t stop you for living your dream.” She responded then added, “plus I’m a lot better now that I see your face.” They both smiled and continued to have a conversation that made her forget about the storm. Before they knew it the time flew and it was already 3 AM. They both needed to get their rest somehow.

“How about we stay like this until you fall asleep?” He told her as they both laid their heads on their pillows. With a small smile she responded “ok.” So as they laid there looking at each other through only what could be their phone, is the closest they could get to each other. A loud BOOM from the thunderstorm startled her and she cringed her eyes shut as she then heard, “hey I’m still here with you. It’s going to be ok.” Hearing him say that made her feel more and more relaxed as she drifted away to sleep. As he saw her drift to sleep with a soft whisper “goodnight my love” he hangs up the phone to get his rest as well.

It’s 07:15 AM and her alarms goes off to wake her up for a bigger day. Today was her the day she had to begin studying for her exam and today was the first day of their concert. It was still a little gloomy outside but the thunderstorm seemed to have passed. She went in the library where she met up with her friends Bri, Yuta and Doyoung to study together for their exams. As she got to the library Bri and her boyfriend Johnny was there. “Where’s Yuta & Doyoung?” Dee asked while unpacking her books. Bri then replied, “they should be here any minute” as I sat down I saw Bri eyeing down Johnny. “Um are you guys ok?” I asked her. She then looked at me and replied, “yes we are but there’s a leech next to me that won’t let me study” looking at Johnny as she said it. “Ok ok I get it I’ll leave” he responded then added, “sheesh you’re so grumpy when you have exams coming up”

He then felt a lil kick in the shin as it was from Bri to get him to shut up and leave. Johnny then got up and left saying goodbye to both girls. Just as he was leaving Yuta and Doyoung came. “Sorry we are late, music class was running late.” Yuta said as they both started to get settled down on the table to begin studying. “Dee the thunderstorm was pretty bad, were you ok last night?” Doyoung asked her, knowing she wasn’t a fan of thunderstorms ever since she was a kid. She then replies, “Yes I was ok. Jeno FaceTimed me to make sure I was ok and stayed on until I fell asleep” after she told her friends that you can hear a little gag noise come out of Bri’s mouth as she was disgusted by what she heard.

“Oh my god I wanna throw up” she said to them. “Oh shut up Bri, you and Johnny are just as bad” Yuta said as they all giggled. With a huff Bri got upset “ugh whatever can we just study please” so they all sat there in silence and began to study. Helping each other with anything that made them question a problem. As the day went by, the skies were still gloomy and drizzles came down here and there. She told herself just as long there was no thunder and lighting she’ll be fine. She wish she could’ve gone to their concert but it was too hard for her as she had finals coming up and was too far from the venue to be driving back and forth.

When she got home, she showered, ate and caught up on a few of her shows before she began to study a little bit more before bed. She looked at the time and knew the concert was about to start. She decided to send him a text message to cheer him on.

To: Jeno My Love 07:30PM: Good luck tonight my love! You and the guys will kill it tonight! I’ll be cheering for you here at home.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to get a reply as he was busy getting ready with hair, makeup and woredrobe. As she set her phone down she saw it light up, a text message from Jeno.

From: Jeno My Love 07:35PM: Thank you! I’ll work hard and think about you while being on stage. <3 How do I look?

She then also received a photo of him in his outfit for his first set. His hair slicked up like how she always liked it, wearing his outfit from their GO era which was always her favorite. All she could do was smile.

To: Jeno My Love 07:38PM: You look amazing like always. You’ll do great!

Finishing up their conversation with her sending a picture of her blowing a kiss. She then began to study as the night got later she ended up falling asleep with her head in her books. Her alarm went off again at 07:15AM to start another day. She woke up checking her phone to see a few texts from Bri.

From: Johnny’s other half 10:30PM: Bitch don’t forget to bring your chemistry notes you promised I could borrow them.

As she read her text with an eye roll she moved onto the next message which was from Jeno. She lit up and open to read what he had sent.

From: Jeno My Love 01:11AM: Thank you for that photo I had it on my mind all night. I just got back to the hotel and day one went well. I hope you slept well and just a few more days and we can see each other again.

As she finished up checking anything that was sent to her phone she got ready and left for school. When she stepped outside it began to rain, the rain still hasn’t gone away as the news reports said thunderstorms will form again sometime this week. She met up with her friends again, Bri being the first one she saw. “Where’s my notes Dee?” She said. Dee the replied with an eye roll, “good morning to you too” as she handed her the chemistry notes she had promised Bri. Then Doyoung came alone. Dee looked around and then asked , “Where’s Yuta?” Doyoung then replied, “He has his first exam today.” Yuta had one different class from us so his exam was a day earlier than ours.

Dee then looked up at the sky to see it get more and more gloomy. Thinking in her head I hope there’s no thunderstorm tonight. I just need to survive 2 more days. She checks her phone to see if she received anything from Jeno at all….nothing. With a sigh she went on with her day. As the night fell closer she did her usual night routine before studying. She knew Jeno must have been tired with all of this tour stuff she didn’t want to disturb him and didn’t text him.

The big day was finally here, her exams and the final day of the concert. She just had to get though the rest of the day and go home to relax because no more hardcore studying until the end of the year. That time came where she was ready to get exams over with already. As she got to her class Bri and Doyoung were already therend ready to go. They had 1 hour to finish their exams and they began silently. She sat there double checking her answers before she turned it in.

“OH MY GOD WE ARE FINALLY DONE WITH EXAMS!” Doyoung said as he stretched and gave his 2 friends Dee and Bri a hug. “Shall we celebrate?” He then added. Bri then looked at him and said “You’re paying” with a laugh Doyoung agreed to it and they looked at Dee.”You coming?” Bri asked as she added, “You year dhim, Doyoung is paying” she politely declined as she was tired from studying and just wanted to go home. Doyoung then added, “oh yeah it’s the last day of the tour. You get to see him” Dee then responded with a soft smile, “yes he does finish but I won’t be able to see him until tomorrow”

As she got home to relax. She showered, ate and once again caught up with some of her shows as she drifted off to sleep. Dee was then woken up with a loud BANG and a bright light. She looked outside to see a thunderstorm had began once again, but seemed worse than before. She looked at her phone to see what time it was, the clock on her phone read 02:45AM. She thought in her head the concert was long finished, even though she knew he might have been sleeping she was way to scared to go back to sleep.

So she tried to call Jeno to see if he could calm her down. All she got was straight to voicemail. She then tried a couple more times and all went straight to voicemail. Another loud bang and bright light lit up the room as she screamed. She couldn’t handle it as she began to cry, then the power goes out as the thunderstorm caused the power outage. Dee didn’t know what to do other than try her best to stay calm. She lit some candles her friends gave her as a bday present awhile back.

She sat on the floor near the candles as she tried to call her friends to see if they could come over. But with the power outage she couldn’t get through. Once another bang went off as she curled up into a ball while crying and covering her ears. She was so scared and tried her best to cover her ears from hearing the thunder she didn’t know her door had opened and closed. She then felt someone tap her arm as she jumped and screamed in tears she sees Jeno standing in front of her. “Hey hey it’s just me it’s ok!” He said to her dropping his things to grab her.

When she realized it was Jeno she couldn’t help but let out more tears as she was happy to see him and she was still frighted from the storm. “What are you doing here” she said while in tears, then added “I thought you weren’t going to be home until tomorrow” He then looked at her whipping the tears away from her eyes, “My manager knew you didn’t like thunderstorms and offered to drop me off here so you wouldn’t be alone” she sat there shaking as he helped her up back on the couch.

“Are you ok?” He asked her while setting his things down. She sat there and nodded slowly that she was now ok since he was there. Then another loud bang went off as she jumped into his arms. He held her tight letting her know she was safe with him. She sat there in his arms as she slowly began to calm down. With the sound of his voice, the warmth of his hugs and the beat of his heart calmed her as she knew she was always safe. He then kissed her on the top of her head as she hugged him tighter and tighter. He threw the blanket that was sitting on the couch on top of the both of them as she looked at him with a smile. He smiled back and kissed her on the lips. As the night fell darker they stayed like that and slowly fell asleep in each other’s arms.

#NCT #NCT DREAM #NCT JENO #NCTJENO #JENO NCT #JENONCT #JENO FAN FIC #JENO FANFIC #NCT FANFIC #NCT FAN FIC #LEE JENO #JENO LEE

11 notes · View notes

fightingorcavingintodepression · 6 years ago

Text

1/16/17 5:17 pm

I had my first panic attack I've had in a long time. I've gotten so bad at work my manager called me at 10AM and left a voicemail. I called him back and said I had a Doctors appointment and forgot to send out an email to the team. I hate lying, but i can’t realistically say I'm suicidal and won't even get out of bed every morning.

I ran to the bathroom and started dry-heaving for a good 2-3 minutes. Then I laid down on my bed and felt like crying, and then Stayed there for nearly another hour.

Kill me.

1/20/17

I'm eating lunch by myself at 3:06 on Friday. I've only hit myself a few times today. I ordered and shipped a present to Shara and it should get there tomorI'mrow, but today is her birthday. I deleted my Facebook and haven't been posting on tumblr, so I'm avoiding everything. I feel guilty and don't know what to do. I'm going to stop typing because I'm tearing up in the restaurant. I'm pushing all of my friends away. I saw Selina last weekend and it was so awkward. I can't even hang out with my best friend without it being awkward. I want to kill myself.

Please let me die in an accident.

10:56 pm I want to keep hitting myself until I don't wake up.

1/25/17 Wednesday 11:39pm

I'm at McDonald's getting a milkshake and food. I've "worked" from home the past three days because I don't wake up till 9 or 10. That's a lie, I'll wake up and hit snooze, but won't force myself into up. On Monday I stayed online till 11:30 and then said o had a doctors appointment and was gong to wfh the rest of the day, but the last two days I haven't even sent anything out. I deserve to get fired. My depression is destroying me.

1/26/17 Thursday 2:30pm

I woke up late at 8:50ish and got online. Did the scheduled work for Austin and once that was finished, drove into the office and got in at about 10:30 (I think). I ate lunch at my desk and I've gone back and forth to the bathroom and just sat. Only work I've done today is finally send an email I've needed to for weeks. Mom asked me to call her at lunch and I finally said I didn't really want to celebrate my birthday. I told her I'd decide on a weekend and give her a call tonight, but I'm not sure I can. It's now 2:48. I've been in the bathroom almost 20 minutes.

2/16 4:29pm

I woke up at 3:30 am and stayed awake, but then fell asleep and didn't get online from home until about 9:40. Came into the office about 12:40. I've done maybe an hours worth of work. I really hate myself. When driving into work nearly had an accident from someone driving recklessly and me not just letting them pass me. They cut to my right into a lane for cars getting on and drove on the side of the road to pass me since I didn't slow down. The driver even had people (possibly kids) in the back of their car. I hate myself, but that person as well if they can justify that type of driving that also may harm their own kids, let alone other people. I started yelling again in my car...it's getting worse.

I hit myself again this morning in the shower.

2/17 12:18am

I can see myself committing suicide within the next year. Depending if I don't get better, maybe not till after my parents pass.

2/20 12:33pm

I didn't get up again today (Monday) until 9:50 and log online. Then finally came in to the office about 10 minutes ago. Off to a bad start of the week. I should be fired. I did "clean" a good portion of my apartment yesterday because at&t suppose to be coming this week. It's still a terrible mess, but you can finally see the floor now. Next is the kitchen.

1:04pm - eating lunch by myself at wich which. Postponing going back to the office. Not sure if taking these notes is beneficial, or even a smart idea (hint, it's not)

2/21 12:31pm

Late again. Thinking of working from home tomorrow. Getting worse. Really worse. Spent too much money yesterday on gifts I'll probably never give.

2/24 11:52am

It's my birthday. Today hasn't been a bad day.

2/28 12:15 pm

In training. Feeling useless. My back is also killing me. Have my APA later today. Guess I'll find out how badly I'm doing or if we'll just pretend I'm doing fine when it's obvious I'm not. Not likely I'll get fired since I'm an ITA, but don't know. Just haven't been given a warning or anything

3/13 12:48pm

I'd been doing okay for a little while. Starting to get worse again. Started saying things again. Didn't wake up for work till 9ish. Didn't get in till 11ish. Need to stop. Want to hurt myself. Want to kill myself. Fighting it. Still doing bad. In the bathroom wanting to hit myself. Shara texted about doing stuff this weekend, and I almost want to back out. I'm suppose to do Aerials with gabby tonight, but want to use my weight as an excuse and say I'm over their limit (which may actually be true, but their website doesn't say and no one picked up when I called), or that I don't have the right clothes, or I'm having a panic attack (probably closest to being honest). And one of the other things that's bugging me in the back of my head today I'm hating myself most of all for it even bothering me.

3/20 4:39am

Mild depression acting up. Want to "call/email" out of work. Smacking myself a bit the past day

3/22 6:14pm

Didn't go into work today and haven't done any work so far. Needing to get a report and presentation done before tomorrow. Depression has been really bad this week. Sleep is getting off. Whispering harmful things to myself and hitting myself more often.

3/24 10:44am

I want to hurt myself. I'm doing really badly this week. No point even coming into work. Can tell I'm being replaced in all areas. Went to lunch with people. Faked it. Now I'm back at the office (2:04pm) and hiding in the bathroom. I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I want to pass out.

I want to die.

3/25 5:02pm

Doing bad today too. Didn't get up till noon. Went to the park to walk, but had negative thoughts the entire time and it didn't help. Convinced myself to go out to dinner at Las Margaritas that I normally get take out from. I plan to make myself sit in the living room when I get home to get out of my bedroom/bed. It feels pathetic, but right now the smallest things feel like an achievement.

3/27 1:41am

I want to kill myself. I just want it to end. I don't want to hurt my family though. I wish I could make them forget i existed so I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

3:06am still lying awake on the couch. The longer I stay awake, the longer I postpone till tomorrow comes.....or that's how it feels. Ready to kill myself.

3/30 8pm

I now weigh 245 pounds. I write this as I sit in line at chick fil-a getting a meal for two people and a milkshake

3/31 6:38

Deleted all of my social media. Specifically tumblr, which I can't reactive. Gone forever.

4/6 1:12pm

Was doing better for a bit because work was busy enough to distract me. Getting too busy now. Think I overheard two people saying they don't want to work with me, and storage team disregards my existence. It's a new feeling when I feel like I'm doing some good work, but know I'm also doing terrible in other areas and people no longer want to work with me. Hitting hard and really want to hurt myself again. I need to make some life choices before I end up committing suicide.

4/7 1:36pm

It might be good to just quit before June. If I sold everything I had, I could pay off all my debt. I'd be left with nothing, but wouldn't leave anything for people to worry about.

4/17 10:21am

So overwhelmed.

4/19 9:08am

Sitting on toilet at home. So overwhelmed at work. Can't get anything done and nothing is going right.

6/1 11:02am Thursday

Hadn't been in the office in almost a week. Had Friday off and Monday for Memorial Day, but lied and said Tom had knee surgery on Tuesday and then wfh on Wednesday. Getting bad again. Realized I hadn't been writing in here for a month and a half. Not sure if that's a good win or not, since I mostly only remember to when I'm getting bad again.

6/25 2:15am

Depression getting bad again. Suicide would be nice. Just want it all to end. If I could sleep for a year, I'd take it.

6/27 12:40pm

Didn't go into work until almost 11 yesterday. Working from home today. Can't even answer a phone call. Have a meeting at 2 and then will probably shower as unavailable the rest of the day.

6/28 3:06pm

Woke up at 5 and still didn't go into work today. Stayed showing as away all day and said I had issues with Skype and car issues

7/14 12:50pm

JB texted me asking if I was off. I should just kill myself. Lying through my teeth. His pa

7/18 3:28am Tuesday

I want to die in an accident so no one I care about thinks it was a suicide.

7/20 1:59pm

Didn't go into work until 12 today. While I was in the shower, my phone range and I just started cursing thinking it was my manager. Already had my lie made up going to say my car stalled this morning coming into work. Didn't have my phone (which is why I didn't pick up if it was them), but luckily a cop pulled over and called a tow truck....

Haven't had to use my lie yet, but going to use parts of it tonight to get out of going to a coworkers house for game night.

I really hate myself.

I need to call in my medicine to see if they'll prescribe it again, even if it doesn't seem like it's helping.

7/31 9:04pm

In line at Taco Bell. Didn't go into work today or Friday. Meant to send an email saying I was taking my mom to doctors and would be back Tuesday, but overslept and didn't bother. Don't want to go in tomorrow either. I haven't been replying to Shara and I feel terrible, but I'm not in a good place either. Hadn't been replying to family until Mom called worried and acted like I just forgot to hit send on some texts. It's easier to act like nothing is wrong with people who don't know I'm not good mentally. I saw a post on Tumblr that describe what I'm feeling. I'm pushing people away so it's easier when I want to kill myself.

9/5 11:42am

Moved to new apartment. Enjoying it so far. Had a 5 day weekend from labor/took Thursday and Friday off to move. 1st day back at work and already feeling overwhelmed and counting down till 4:30. Kill myself creeping inside my head again.

9/21 10:02am

Want to die. Want to die. I just really want to die. Kill myself. Kill myself. I'm so tempted to kill myself. I'd make it look like an accident so not to hurt my family. But I need to find homes for Yen and Shani, or plan accordingly. Could drop them at a shelter, but include some cash to help care for them (1k?). Then someone who is a good person, but just had money trouble would take them. I'm not sure I'll live 15+ years to outlive them. I take that back; I know I won't. I don't even know sometimes if I'll make it to tomorrow. I'm not actually making any attempts or plans to do it, but every time I walk in to work or leave, I hope a car hits me. Kill me kill me I just want to die.

10/18 9:52am

Overslept and didn't go into work today. "Working" from home online. Depression episode kicking in again. I just want to die.

10/31 Tuesday 12:02pm

Didn't get into work until 11 today. Called into the 8:30 conference and answered some emails to appear like I was working, but hardly got out of bed. ~Read back through some of these notes just now and now I've got in the back of my head the idea of starting to hit myself again. I know this is a downward slope, but really want to go to the bathroom stall and do it anyways just so I don't feel numb. It's lunchtime, so no one should be there to hear it. ~~I ended up going to get rubber bands and paper clips instead. Still hit myself s few times, but people kept coming into the restroom while I was in the stall.~

11/1 2:16 pm

In drivethru for chick-fil-a. Working from home rest of week probably. My anger is terrible. Called someone a cunt in the drivethru for honking and it wasn't even at me. My window was down, so think the person in front of me may have heard. I'm a terrible person and hate myself.

11/16 9:14am Thursday

Just got into work. Feel exhausted and drained as always. Just noticed it’s coming up on a year in January when I started making these notes. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing better or not. I’d say I’m not. Definitely not.

12/5/17 2:36pm

It’s a Tuesday, and I’d not been in the office for two weeks (11/21) between workin from home on Wednesday because thanksgiving was the next day, off Thursday and Friday, and then all last week I just never came in. Yesterday I “worked” from home, and today I didn’t get in till about 12. And the only thing I wanted to think about while walking into work because I forgot my headphones and couldn’t drown out the thoughts with music was how I wanted to kill myself. I have a meeting from 3-4 with new agile team (honestly probably only real reason I forced myself into the office). I wonder how fake I can present myself today. Hopefully it won’t be terribly interactive and mostly just informational.

1/14/18 11:27pm

I didn’t go into work at all last week. Was online only Monday for the entire day, and then Wednesday for the day on do-not-disturb. Skipped Tuesday and Wednesday completely though. Need to force myself to go into the office tomorrow. I hate myself. So much to catch up on. I cleaned a bit of the apartment, but still need to do more. My oncall starts next week, and I pray it’s quiet.

1/22/18 3:10am

Won’t go to bed because then the morning comes faster. I’m oncall this week and I just pray nothing happens at all. Even one ticket. Please don’t. I think I have an appointment this Friday about my antidepressants, but honestly I’m not sure. Please let me be left alone this week and work from home. I’ll even make sure I get work done.

1/23/18 12:30am

I’m pathetic at work.

2/4/18 6:43pm Sunday

Out grocery shopping. Tried to do small talk. Wanted to help bag like I do sometimes, but not doing well, so just awkwardly typing this on my phone. I HAVE to get work done when I get home, but haven’t been doing well. I’ll be lucky if I get anything done or I do it in the middle of the night (especially with my sleep schedule).

2/5/18 11:52am

Didn’t get anything done last night, but was able to wake up early and get it submitted by 8 (only one other person has anything uploaded so far). What pisses me off is another teammate setup a meeting at 2 with no heads up. That little amount of time and a same day meeting? Fuck that shit. I’ll attend, but doubt John will and don’t blame him. I said I was going to the doctor earlier, so purposely missed the one actual meeting I had today. Couldn’t get out of bed. Hate myself. Submitted a service request for the lights to be fixed in my apartment, so that’s the one useful thing I’ve done. I was wrong, John did accept. I hate myself.

5/7/18 Monday 8:59am

On the train in to work. Only going in for the ITA orientation and then probably leaving. Probably will stay an hour to get hibachi for lunch and then leave. I’m oncall this week. Please please please don’t have any tickets or sde’s after hours. Please god. Just this once. I’ve been doing so well with my depression, but the last week and a half it’s been dipping again and I’m afraid. On the chart at my therapy office, id finally for the first time dipped below the number for being depressed! I know I’ll always have depression and depression slumps, but it’s scary going back into my first one after doing well for almost two months. I don’t want to go back into that. I really don’t. Please just don’t have my oncall this week go badly. Dear god, just please don’t. I don’t want to breakdown in tears from anxiety this week. Make my next oncall worse, but just let me not have to worry about anything this week. Please.

5/7/18 Monday 11:21am

Doing better mentally once I got in the office and moving. It’s sad how easily that change can happen. You’d think I’d be happy, but just makes me realize how easily I can drop again. Part of me knows I could stay at the office and continue working, but the other half doesn’t care. I’m eating hibachi and then taking the train home.

5/10/18 1:02pm

Finishing up lunch at hisaki and then going into office. Have to recount all of the WebLogic VM counts manually.....

All the work before I did is basically useless.

Time to go through 400+ (maybe less since a good number are in the shared environment) and find out their host count. I shouldn’t really be complaining. Just didn’t want to have to do/worry about anything till after my vacation.

Now it’s 1:32 and I’m sitting in the toilet just waiting for the day to end. Shoot myself shoot my self I just want to shoot my self.

5/23 5:12pm

Felt sick the past few days. Worked from home. Throat is killing me, but in line at McDonald’s and going to get

5/25 Friday 11:27am

Hardly worked at all this week. Ignored a voicemail to call back my PO. Work is frustrating me.

I just hit myself for the first time in a long time again. Chest, face, head. It felt good

5:57pm clenching my fists in drive through. Want to hurt myself

5/28 Monday 2:04pm Memorial Day off work

At the bbq place getting Togo food. Been in bed all day/all weekend really. Felt sick, but also depressed. Stomach was so upset, didn’t take antidepressants yesterday. Going to take them for today when I get back. Still, I’ve not been doing well at all. Hitting myself more. Mainly the chest. May even do it on the way home. Just feeling numb again. Started reblogging suicidal/depression posts on tumblr again. It’s pathetic. Like a cry for help to the two I know who are on tumblr, but one never acknowledges them, and the other rarely gets on anymore. I have therapy this Friday (o think?) and have no improvement to speak of to the doctor. Overslept one from depression, but rescheduled the last one due to work issues. Slit my throat. Want to die. Let it end. Started singing those little tunes to myself the last week or two. Want to hurt myself. Really just want to drop dead from an accident. Get someone to take care of my cats, and then my family won’t think it’s a suicide.

6/12 10:59am Tuesday

Sitting at train station going into work. Just got back from surgery follow up and everything is fine. Spent maybe 10 minutes there in total. Now I’m going into work to eat my unhealthy lunch hibachi chicken and soda as always. I’m sad all the team. I have an in person meeting from 2-2:50, but will probably leave after that. Unless I ask Carter if he needed help with patching and he says yes, which is why I’m considering if I even should?? Wow, that’s pathetic of me. I only have to make it till EOD Thursday. Then I’ll watch Lily for the weekend, have my therapy session on Friday, and (maybe?) visit Mom and Tom on Sunday.

6/24 Monday 10:46am

I may barely make it into the office for an 11am meeting. This isn’t going to be a good week.

7/3 Tuesday 6:11pm

I missed my medicine twice in the last week (I think? Or only once). But just don’t care to take it anymore since I’ve noticed

7/9 Monday 12:15am

This isn’t gonna be a good week. I can already tell.

7/22 Sunday 1am

Doing patching. Teammates were being fucking useless, so I got offline and said I was having internet issues. It’s been a fucking hour and they’ve not done shit. The job is still hung exactly where it was when I left off. They’ve not tried to do anything at all. There are two more groups that have to run for Linux, and we’re already 2/3 hours of patching there is from 11-2am. Cancel the ticking job you dipshits. I even sent an email basically telling you to!!! I did all the ducking work for you!!! Instead you just sit there for an hour doing nothing!!! Cancel the fucking job!! If it gets to 1:30am and still nothing, I’m sending a follow up email and ccing myself. I’m not even suppose to be in charge here!! They are!!! At least Brandon should be. Daniel is ridiculously new, but clearly knows more, so make the ticking call too, for fuck sake.

- they finally did when I was typing this all out. And of course it was the new kid, not the guy who is a full time employee who should be making the call. Then again, I’m a waste of space too. Just got fed up with them and quit with a bullshit excuse. I’m trash. Now that I’ve calmed down, I hate myself again.

Thursday 7/26 2:54pm

First time I’ve been in the office I think nearing 3 weeks? I’ve not been taking my antidepressants as consistently. So tired all the time. Hardly get out of bed. Didn’t go to therapy last week. I need to call tomorrow to cancel next weeks too unless it’s early in the morning. And also schedule more since I don’t have any after that. And also reschedule one on a different day for my medicine.

Just got off my 3pm call. PO wasn’t there, so I basically lead. Talked for like 5 fucking minutes before my team lead said they’ve been doing it manually the last 4 days. So basically I’m a fucking idiot and out of the loop. I’m definitely not Sr IT analyst ready. I’m just gonna leave work. I hate myself. Put myself on do not disturb and closed my laptop. Ran and caught the train. I’m so ducking fat and out of shape. I should just go skydiving by myself and not pull the parachute. Quick and easy. Could I do it in a body bag so it’s less of a mess for the people who have to clean it up? Sky dive, pull the bag out midair. Put it on and zip it up. Splat. Done. Kaput. 😊

How many weeks vacation do I have? Just use it all at once and disappear. Then when it’s up I just never come back. I wanna jump in front of a car or train, but not okay with the impact it’d have on the person driving. If I jump off mountain, the only person it might hurt is the people who found me? Plus annoy the people who have to clean me up.

Could have a suicide note and send it in so the police can find me easily? Idk. Can’t do anything till my cats are okay.

8/14/18 Tuesday 10:19am

On the train to work. Only going in to have an in person meeting. Didn’t wake up till 9:20 and only jumped up because of the daily Standup call at 9:30. Have patching this week and next. Alex is out the rest of the week, so I’m in charge of Windows....never done it by myself, yet alone enough with someone else to be confident. Need to send out the email as soon as we get Tom’s email tomorrow. Get the jobs running and finish documentation. I think Wednesday only has noreboot servers and is a small window? Hopefully okay.

I’ve not been taking my medication. Haven’t been to the doctors in really long (therapy/antidepressant doctor). I have roughly 35 days to get in better shape/health/mental state before going to Samantha’s to see Welcome to Nightvale. Will it happen? No idea.

Still on the train. 10:27. I feel so num. no emotion at all.

5:49pm - on the train home from work. Got a lot done today, so feel somewhat decent. If I can bury my head in work and actually get stuff done, I won’t notice my depression sometimes.

9/5 Wednesday 10:51 am

Have a big kickoff meeting I’m leading. Has a shit ton of people in it. Don’t feel confident. Stomach is nauseated. Want to hurt myself too. Get it over with. Cut my throat. Let me die. Die die die die.

9/20 Thursday 11:05am

Have barely worked the last week since the hurricane hit and we’re in storm mode. Had my first “shift” start at 6 this morning, and I was the only one in the room. Was a good thing I came in to the office. Actually got some stuff done. Just really tired since I couldn’t get to sleep till 2:30 or 3, and got up at 4:22. Going home right at 2. Today hasn’t been bad, but I’m exhausted and sad at myself for being so fat and out of shape.

Animal crossing

Love Nicky

Clash royal

Good fantasy

9/26 11:53am

On train into work. Have two in-person meetings this afternoon. I regret volunteering to do the ITA stuff. Just added stress with no good outcome. My stomach hurts too. Don’t know if something actually wrong, or just anxiety of everything with work, deciding to go to the BigFix event tomorrow during work hours, and text Samantha lying I can’t come to the show. Too many lies happening at once due to my anxiety. I guess I do have anxiety. My depression making my life difficult makes me have anxiety. God my stomach hurts. Kill me kill me I want to die. Slit my throat just want to die. Just disappear I just want to disappear. First steps I need to take today to help fix my anxiety

1. Call and reschedule therapy as soon as I get off train DONE

2. Talk to Cathy and then John about change freeze issue with Websphere maintenance. Then get communications out. SENT AN EMAIL

3. Prep documentation for ITA meeting at 3. WORKING ON

4. Plan what time to leave tomorrow

5. Text Samantha for details (address, what time I should get there, etc)

6. Plan to drive home after show

Die die die die die die di die die die die die kill me

10/3 Wednesday 2:51pm

I’ve not been into work since last Wednesday, and hardly online all this week. Finally got a text from manager this morning asking what’s up. Ready to kill my self.

10/4 Thursday 1:24pm

On the train into work for a 2pm meeting I’m hosting. I may barely make it in. Barely. Or I’ll be late. Shocker. I’m useless. I look and feel disgusting. Literally just need to know if Cathy will fight if we have to push the qa and prod environment during a change freeze. If not, what will happen if we have pushed test and dev, but can’t push prod/qa for months?? I highly doubt that’s okay.

11/1/2018 Thursday 1:12pm

Waiting for the train. Overslept for therapy and then an important meeting I said I’d be late for, but not miss the entire fucking thing. I’ve pretty much given up on therapy for now. Doesn’t make a difference, and won’t get another appointment for 2-3 months, if they’d even give me one with how many no-shows I’ve done. My stomach acid is killing me.

Have meeting. Schedule jobs for 5. Go eat hibachi. Take train home. Meeting is at 2. Doubt chuck will be there. Cathy may call in or not. Literally just depends if John/srini at there. If not, will be over in 10 minutes. If they are, just keep chugging along with Websphere (need to plan how to do QA and PROD along side OS patching.

Wednesday - do it right after patching for Linux/aix. Try and include windows in the patching, or same scenario.

Do we think it’s worth doing adc/cdc groups still? Or just all at once?

Thursday - Linux/aix I do manually (hit B & C right at 5, and then A when it finishes)

11/29 Thursday 9:25am

Going into the office. I’m just really sad. I’m up to 283lbs without any clothes on. I’m working nights now with patching at work. I’m rude to the point that I don’t even move my bag on the train. It’s just all really sad. It’s not bad enough I’m hurting myself or suicidal thoughts, but I’ve just been emotionally numb. I quit taking my medicine for about a week or two, but then noticed an increase in anger, so started taking them again.

12/18 Tuesday 3:39pm

Sitting at a jimmy johns nears my apartment eating. On vacation from work, and watching Lily till Thursday, but I’ve had to be online some because patching still isn’t being covered by the EDC, even though Matt apparently was handling it but clearly didn’t? I’ll be up anyways, so I’m not mad mad, but more just annoyed, because I’m not doing this come January. Pretty depressed though. Sleeping all the time. I weigh over 285lbs now. Maybe I’ll die from a heart attack in 2019? I’ve not been taking my medicine lately, but I’ll run out soon anyways unless I schedule an appointment with my doctor. Definitely see my anger spiking some when I’m not on it while driving or the sorts. Last Friday I went into work and ran into my manager(s) which was good. Talked some, and mentioned about the possibility of moving to Durham. Would be okay, but did mention Charlotte is better career wise, which is true (but I’m okay with that?). I’m just sad all the time still. Apartment is a mess almost always, which isn’t good for the cats. I hardly ever clean their litter boxes, and it’s disgusting for them. Which reminds me I have to take them to the vet. I should call when I get back to schedule something and also clean their litter boxes before anything else.

2/18 10:02am

On my way into work to train one guy on patching, even though I’ll probably be the one having to do it the rest of the week. Was in an accident yesterday. Car hit me from behind. Surprisingly still shaken from it. I’m pathetic. Have to call insurance today since they said they were closed yesterday. Hopefully it’s just visual damage. The bumper popped off a bit, but I don’t know if it can just be popped back into place. I know nothing about cars. Other persons was much worse, but no one was hurt at least. I wish I was hurt. Just kill me. Be done with it all.

Work is never ending stress, this fucking house is too. AND I JUST REMEMBERED IM ON-CALL ALL THIS WEEK FFS. Please let it be quiet. I’m begging you. With all the SDE’s and ongoing stuff, don’t let there be anything for me. Slit my throat.

2/20 Wednesday 2:04pm

Sitting at a car body repair shop getting an estimate by Statefarm. Hopefully should be fine. Work is stressing me out. House is too. I’m responsible for getting the WebLogic patching done, but it’s all up to Srini looking at the problem servers. It’s not fair to him as I’m sure he’s swamped, but he’s the only one who can fix it. Also that one guy who sent that needs to go fuck himself. Passive aggressive fuck. Then with the house. They finally responded saying they want their roofer to take a look, which is fine. Just don’t come back and argue you’re not doing anything. I’m so done with that shit. Just offer to pay half and be done with it. Then my mental health is just terrible. Want to hurt myself. When I get home may take a butter knife or something and hurt myself. Cut my throat. Not even going into the office tomorrow even though I said I would. Fuck Friday. Please be a quiet oncall week. I’m beginning you, just like I do ever time I’m oncall. It’s pathetic. Wish I had cancer instead of Tom. Let me die instead of him. Mom needs him. Just let me die.

It’s Wednesday. Need to make it through the weekend. “Work day” just tomorrow. Have other work to do, but I’m not as worried about the after hour work for IE9 IE11 and office 2010 SP2. Slit my throat slit my throat

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lexdesk-blog · 6 years ago

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Orientation: Day 1

As a couple of you may know, orientation for law school started for me today! I was so nervous going into it this morning, but it turned out to be a really good (albeit, really long) day, and as promised - I’ll be making posts throughout my 1L year that you can follow along with. Play-by-play for you under the cut:

6:45am: alarm goes off. I am comfy in my bed and snooze it. Excellent start to the morning.

7:00am: second alarm goes off. I grumble but get out of bed and then promptly start freaking out because LAW SCHOOL STARTS TODAY. WHAT.

7:15am: get distracted by typical morning routines, including starting my diffuser and for some reason deciding that it’s a good time to try to unpack more boxes (it isn’t). For this reason, I give up said project and start washing my face

8:00am: have finally finished my morning routine at a very slow pace. It is now time to select an outfit for the day. I was riddled with anxiety over this, due to the fact that I didn’t want to over or underdress. On one hand, it’s only orientation, but on the other, it’s an orientation week full of wannabe lawyers. I opted for jeans, dressy sandals, & a nice navy top.

8:20am: getting some final necessities for the day together, including a water bottle, my ID card, and phone.

8:25am: leave the apartment

8:30am: arrive to new student check-in (I live on campus, so this was simply a walk across the street). there was free jamba juice and lots of awkward mingling. Turns out I didn’t need to bring a purse, since they provided personalized messenger bags with the law school insignia embroidered, which was a nice touch. They also provided complimentary thermoses, making my water bottle completely useless. They also gave us a folder full of papers, schedules, department contact information, and a ton of other super important stuff. I’m now carrying 5 things and feeling rather overwhelmed.

8:45am: I make small talk with around 17 different people, some in my section and some not. We’re divided into either A or B - I’m in B. However, most of the social people seem to be in B as well, so the morning isn’t too daunting. Still enjoying my free jamba. My outfit is about in the middle of what people chose to wear - most of the guys are in slacks and button-downs, but the girls vary from flip-flops and yoga pants to heels and dresses. I feel good about my wardrobe decisions.

9:00am: I run back to my apartment to dump my water bottle, messenger bag, and other things I don’t need. I bring two new friends I made with me, who fall in love with my apartment (which looks pretty good, might I add). We return to the main breezeway and continue to talk to each other and a few others for the remainder of the meet and greet. I also got my parking pass and introduced myself to the Campus Security Chief Officer. He’s a really chill dude. We’re going to be best friends.

10:00am: the Dean begins a welcome session in a giant auditorium - congratulates us on our decision to go to law school, our accomplishments thus far, and the great things he knows we will do in the future. Very inspirational. Two other professors join him in explaining professionalism and responsibility as lawyers, and how they hope our law school will be able to support us in those endeavors. I’m sitting between my two friends the whole time, and I’m absolutely freezing because the AC is going so strong.

11:30am: We have a quick break, so I opt to run to my apartment and pick up the book we read for prep over summer. Instead, I discover that my ID card no longer opens my apartment building, and I freak out. After consulting with housing, they decide the discrepancy is due to admissions having printed another ID card, thus invalidating the one I have. Wendie (bless her) prints me a new one and tells me to try again as soon as I have a moment to spare, which at the time, I didn’t.

11:45am: Kaplan sponsored our lunch, which was DELICIOUS. We had pesto chicken and pasta, so if Kaplan wants to sponsor any more lunches, they absolutely should. We ate while listening to an “administrative nuts and bolts” presentation on how to do things like add cash to our IDs, what to do if we see a situation on campus, what departments to go to with problems we run into, etc. Not a particularly scintillating session, but all good information to have.

1:15pm: Another break! I race to my apartment building, only to discover my ID still doesn’t open the building. I return to Wendie, who prints me another card and looks frazzled. I thank her profusely, and tell her I will try it again as soon as I can.

1:30-3:30pm: The dean, alongside a professor, give us an introduction to law school and some tips and tricks we will need to succeed, including studying techniques, how the first semester typically goes, and an introduction to case briefing, note taking, memorization strategies, a practice exam question, and other skills we will need to thrive and not die over the semester. Super helpful. We also met our mandatory study groups for the semester - I love half of my group. The other half didn’t speak. But the ones who did were lovely.

3:30-4:30pm: Ice cream social! I made some new friends, which was encouraging (I met a TON of people today). I was tired, so I headed back to my apartment with Kylie, one of my new friends from this morning. My ID card still didn’t work, so we paid Wendie another visit (she’s probably so tired of seeing me). After she messed with some access codes on the computer, my ID finally opens my apartment building!!!! It was a victorious moment for me.

4:30-7:00pm: Kylie ended up coming to Ikea with me to get a poster for my living room, and then grabbing some Taco Bell and discussing the finer points of the Bachelorette finale. We made plans to grab breakfast tomorrow morning.

SOME TAKEAWAYS:

bring a sweater

bring water - even though they had water bottles, I still prefer to have a guaranteed source of water no matter what.

resolve issues as they come up during orientation - I was tempted to just deal with my ID issues later on in the day, but now Wendie and I are friends, and I don’t have to be at someone else’s mercy for the next week just to get into my building.

Always carry a pen and notebook/note material of some sort. You never know what you might want to write down.

I wish I hadn’t been so nervous and had just talked to people immediately - everyone I spoke with today was so kind, and probably just as apprehensive and uncertain as to what to expect. Get over yourself and say hi to someone.

hopefully this run down will be helpful to someone in the future (or now?). feel free to send me questions or fun stories about your orientations!!!

#me #mine #1l #lawblr #studyblr #orientation

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yourlocalbarlizard · 7 years ago

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i’m in the library, it’s 12:45am, and i’m salty af

This title comes from something I heard at King library during the roughest 24 hours I’ve ever had. It goes as follows:

11:40am

I go to cognitive psych, I have a friend in the class with me. We plan to study after the class.

1:00pm

My friend and I go to King where we have a study room. We’re in another psych class together, one that had a paper due at 8 am the next day. We’re trying to map out the concepts for our papers, making every visual diagram you could think of. We were lost and had no idea how to make our arguments and develop our hypotheses.

3:30pm

Our time in the study room is up. We go to the office I have in the student center. We continue making diagrams. Our other friend from the class comes too. We were approaching our fifth hour of just mapping out the ideas with no luck. We did this for literally two hours, our brains were dead, but it would get worse.

6:00pm

I leave to get dinner with a sorority sister. My two friends head to the library to continue working on the research paper.

7:30pm

I meet my friends back at the library where we are starting to get to the actual writing of the paper. I still had a few holes in my research so I did some more planning. I had about a paragraph of the whole research paper written. But I had a really good outline, as I kept reassuring myself.

10:30pm

My one friend is brain dead so she goes home. Now just me and my original friend from the cognitive psych class who has been suffering with me all day remain.

12:31am

This is where it takes a turn. Boy hadn’t contacted me or tried to take me home since I had a mental breakdown in his car about two weeks ago. I was surprised he was talking to me, but not mad about it. Basically, I tell him I was definitely not at the bar and was at king, and would be for a while.

2:00am

At this point I realize I have hours and hours of work to do. my friend was close to being finished, and I was going to be alone in King all night. Well, at least until boy texted me. I hadn’t realized how far behind I was, that’s when it hit me how little time I actually had until it was due. 6 hours.

2:30am

Boy arrives at the library. He’s still kind of drunk, not that I blame him, he just came from brick.5 and a half hours.

3:00am

My friend is officially done. She leaves and now it’s just me and boy. He’s starting to flirt a little. I told him I look probably the worst he’s ever seen me. When he put his hand on my leg I told him, sorry my legs are prickly, I didn’t shave. I mean, I had been studying for 14 hours, what was I supposed to look like? He’s distracting me, but I. am. writing. 5 hours.

4:00am

Boy is getting tired and impatient. I tell him I appreciate his company but he could go home. He said he would wait. I keep writing, starting to panic that I wouldn’t finish in time. Boy now asks me to come over. I look at him and tell him, once again, that I had hours of work to do and not enough hours to do it in, I definitely did not have time. But I gave in. My brain was fried. It had been so long since I had been with someone. I’ve been rejecting him every time he tries to get me to come over when I see him uptown, and I was tired of it, because I want to hook up too. I emphasize that I had to finish my paper and that nothing would happen. 4 hours.

4:30am

We get to his apartment. I sit at his kitchen counter and write. He keeps asking how much longer. I guess every time I said I would be finishing closer to 8 am, he didn’t hear it. He goes and lays on the couch. I. KEEP. WRITING. 3.5 hours.

6:30am

I finish with the writing part of the paper. I just have to put it in APA and add all the charts and everything. I go sit on the couch where boy is and tell him. He pulls me close to him so I’m laying on his chest. It felt nice after how stressed I had been for hours on end. I get up and I try to get everything done. I run into some problems with my stats program and my computer, so that slowed me down a little.1.5 hours.

7:15am

Everything is done for this paper. I just have to proofread. Boy tells me I can go to his room and sit on the bed to edit. Clearly, this is the most logical place to do that, so I go to his room. I’m editing and he starts to put his hands under my clothes. Slowly, at first. Just by my hips, but he knows what he’s doing, He works his way around my body and it just made me crazy not being able to drop everything. 45 minutes.

7:57am

I have finished. I drop my computer off the bed and I roll over next to him. 3 minutes.

11:00am

I wake up. Boy isn’t really awake, but I tell him I’m bored. We fix that.

11:30am

We have the talk. He says he doesn’t want a relationship. I knew that. He says he doesn’t date. I knew that. He says he doesn’t want me to catch feelings. I tell him I don’t think I will. He doesn’t seem to believe me.

12:00pm

He drives me home. I’m still wearing his sweatpants.

#love is a lie #blogger #text post #dear diary #diary entry

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contrivedcoincidences6 · 7 years ago

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Hi please write that home movie fic your tags are so cute

I was actually typing it up when I saw this! I had to. There was no choice in the matter. For reference look at this post. (This was written while partly inherited and has not been edited. Readers have been known to die from a fluff overload. Read at your own risk.)This is in that same universe as a couple other stories I’vewritten in a universe with Mulder, Scully, William, and a made up child namedGracie.

@fictober

April 8th 2007- 1:00pm:

Camera focuses then loses focus on a living room.

“Mulder I don’t know how this thing works…”

“Just look for the green light.”

“The green light over here?”

“There’s only one green light Scully.”

“So then why isn’t it working?”

Camera moves to focus on a Mulder’s face squinting into thecamera.

“It says it’s on. I don’t know.”

Camera swings around to focus on a Scully who puts her handin front of the lens.

“Mulder not on me.”

Camera moves again to focus on William.

“Hey Will! Say hi!”

William smiles and waves.

“Say happy Easter 2007!”

“Why? We know it’s Easter 2007.”

Sighing

“Ok then say something else.”

“Hello future family.”

William gives Vulcan sign to camera.

“Show me what the Easter bunny gave to you this year.”

“Dad, the Easter bunny isn’t real.”

“Hey! Don’t ruin it for your sister!”

Camera pans to Gracie on the floor playing with buildingblocks.

“I bet even she knows it’s not real.”

Gracie bangs blocks in repetitive motion and sings “Eserbunny- Eser bunny…”

Camera focuses on Scully undoing twist ties as she opens atoy for William.

Lens focuses and un focuses a few times on her face untilshe looks up.

“Mulder record the children please.”

June 7th 2007 11:00am:

Opens on Scully’s face as she examines the camera.

“Hate this… stupid piece of….”

Camera moves around again until it’s focused on a kitchentable.

Faintly “Mom!”

“One second! I’m trying to work the camera! Hatetechnology….”

“Scully!”“Mulder for God’s sake just take care of it!”

“Scullleeeeeyyy….” “Ug! Fine!”

Camera jostles around for a minute until it focuses onMulder’s hand.

“Fine then you have to figure this out.”

June 7th 2007 1:30pm:

Opens on Gracie in a high chair with a birthday hat on,clapping along to singing.

“Happy Birthday dear Gracie! Happy Birthday to you!”

“Okay baby girl blow out the candles!”

Gracie looks confused and Scully shows her how to do it byblowing out one candle. After some encouragement Gracie blows a few times. Hertires don’t make a difference until Scully blows from behind and helps.

Everyone cheers, Scully begins to cut cake.

Camera pans to William who is getting his slice of cake.

“Say hi, Will!”

“Hi!”

William waves and holds up forkful of cake.

“Good cake?”

“Mummhuh.”

Camera moves to Gracie in her high chair.

“Hey birthday girl!’

Gracie waves and gives a gap-toothed smile.

“How old are you today?”

Gracie holds up one finger.

“No, remember what we practiced?”

Camera is jostled a bit and Gracie holds up two fingers andsmiles proudly.

“Yes that’s right! You’re such a big girl!”

October 31st 2007- 4:03pm:

Camera focuses on William.

“Hey Will! What are you dressed as for Halloween?”

“Harry Potter!” William points a wand at the camera.

“Who’s Harry Potter?”

“Daaaaddddd! Stop joking! You know who he is!”

“Maybe, but what if whoevers watching doesn’t know?”

William’s eyes go wide and he nods.

“He’s a wizard from my favorite book.”

“How many of the books have you, me, and mommy read?”

“All of them!”

“How many of the movies have we seen?”

“All of them!”

“What’s your favorite?”

“I don’t know!”

“Mulder are you ready?”

Camera moves around to focus on Scully, wearing cat ears andpainted on whiskers, walking down the hallway holding Gracie, dressed up asPrincess Leia.

“Gracie who are you tonight?”

“Pincess!”

Gracie throws arms in air excitedly.

“And mommy what are you?”

Scully smirks at camera.

“I’m a cat.”

“A sexy cat.”

“What’s sexy mean?”

Camera pans back to William.

“Great Mulder. Thanks. You guys ready to go?”

“Yep!”

“What’s sexy?”

“Will are you ready?”

“Yeah. What’s sexy?”

November 22nd 2007 – 9:15am:

Camera opens on Scully standing at the counter cuttingvegetables and stays focused on her for a few minutes.

Scully turns, sees the camera, and looks exasperated.

“Mulder! Stop wasting film.”

“This doesn’t use film Scully. And it’s not a waste anywaysthis is good stuff.”

“Fine, data, whatever it is. No one wants to see mepreparing dinner on there.”

“I do.”

“Then you can watch it live.”

Mulder’s arm appears, reaching for her.

“Come here.”

“No, Mulder. I’ve got to keep working. My mom expects us atfour.”

“It’s nine in the morning!”

“Do you know how long it takes to roast a turkey?”

“I have an idea. You’re still running early.”

“A little bit.”

“Come here.”

Scully turns and smiles at camera and starts to walk towardit.

November 22nd 2007- 6:30pm

Camera opens on family room, TV is playing, people aretalking, and children are playing.

Maggie Scully comes into view, picking up dishes.

“Hi mom!”

Maggie smiles and gives a small wave.

“Hello dear.”

“Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

Maggie goes back to picking up. Camera pans to Tara Scullysitting on the couch holding Gracie in her lap. She and the toddler wavecheerfully at the camera.

Mulder’s voice can be heard talking animatedly to CharlieScully.

“-They played each other and that was the World Series.”

Camera pans over the two sitting on the other half of thecouch, half watching football.

“Yeah.”

“Now there’s three different- or four, sometimes fourdifferent- sets of series so all these records for runs and stuff like that-“

Camera moves on to Bill Scully who is asleep in an armchairthen focuses on William and his cousins playing Monopoly.

End of first disk.

(to be continued?)

#i wrote this #txf fanfic #x files fanfic #the x files #txf #fluff

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livingwithintent · 4 years ago

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Measuring 08/20/20

Ashamed

Today was less exhausting than usual, but only by a millimetre. I managed to force myself to stay focused on work for most of the day, still a lot of slip ups though.

When I first woke up, at 7:00am, I allowed myself some time to scroll on my phone. I told myself I would get off at 7:30am, which quickly came to pass and I tried to ignore and act as if I didn’t see the time. Renegotiated with myself to quit at 8:00am. Again, I pretended to not have seen the time. Who lies to themselves like that? About something like that? I am so ashamed of myself, I can no longer be honest. It was 8:58am before I got out of bed, only because my boss texted me with a task. I would’ve stayed if he hadn’t.

My food intake started off strong - I was able to listen to my body, although I was fueled by iced coffee for most of the day. I was able to resist the M&M cookies staring at me every time I walked to the kitchen. I also resisted the Klondike Bars which I’m dying to finish off so I never have to see them again. When I passed those cookies, I thought to myself “do you really want those at the moment? Do you really want to enjoy it?” Most of the morning I said no. At 3:00pm, after my lunch, I really did want them. So I made it a moment. instead of scarfing them standing at the sink, I told myself to take 2 and sit down at the table, rip off the pieces, and eat small bite at a time - really savor it. I was proud of that moment. I felt balanced... although maybe I should just had 1.

Because shortly after that, around 5:00pm is where I started to really falter. I gorged myself withing a span of just a few hours. I’m not sure what makes me so weak around that time. Is it habit? A few years ago I developed a nasty habit of ordering a lot of food after work just to binge and purge it all, almost everyday - it lasted for a few years. Am I subconsciously reconnecting with that time in my life?

Maybe not, because a few weeks ago I was bingeing (no purging) all damn day long. Maybe it’s just an excuse. I’m trying so hard to understand why I am who I am, but all theories point to me being awful and just making excuses.

I also want to log my food for the day on here. I right them down in a notebook, but I hope sharing them will keep me accountable and honest, even if no one is listening.

09:00am - Iced Coffee with Almond Milk and Monk Sugar - 30 cals

10:30am - 4 Egg Omelette with Cheese and Salsa - 475 cals

11:15am - More Iced Coffee - 30 cals

01:00pm - More Iced Coffee (Decaf) - 50 cals

03:00pm - 1-1/2 Cup Brown Rice, 1 Cup Ground Beef, 2 Cookies - 1,110 cals

05:30pm - 3 Oranges - 240 cals

06:30pm - 2-1/2 Cup Brown Rice, 1 Cup Ground Beef, 2 Tenders - 1,250 cals

07:00pm - 1 Klondike Bar - 250 cals

08:00pm - 1 Cookie - 220 cals

Total of 3,655 calories. I’m ashamed of this. It honestly didn’t even feel like that much. The beef and rice are estimations since I actually did not measure it. But I’m trying not to make excuses. If it was off, I’m sure it was only by a bit.

Proud

Today was filled with mindlessness. But some of those bad decisions I was fully aware of, at least for a moment, and I pushed that mindfulness away to continue with my self-sabotage.

But there were a handful of wins today. I made breakfast this morning, and cleaned up after myself. I took the time to stand there and proceed even when my body felt like it was being pulled back to my chair. My roommate got packages that I walked by, I didn’t want to bring them inside. I fought that battle too and won. In the middle of the day I did get distracted a few times, but I retained most of my focus. At one moment, I automatically grabbed my phone but within 3 seconds I told myself “Focus!” and I put it away. Usually an hour passes before I realize what I’m doing.

And I did not order any food today! I waste so much money on food deliveries, and I resisted. I actually haven’t gotten and food deliveries this week I think. I deleted all of the apps.

Right now I know I need to take my dog out and then take a shower to prepare for tomorrow. I’m going to. As soon as I submit this. Then my day is over and I can focus on tomorrow!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning I’m going to make homemade soy milk. I just hope I pull myself out of bed early enough so I can do it before work. I have to be at my office at 10:30am tomorrow to meet a client. Which means I need to get ready at 9:00am with make-up and a nice outfit. I’m looking forward to it a little bit.

I’ve been trying to avoid ordering food, but I do not any food left that is easy to pack and bring to work. I’m wondering if I should just leave right after my meeting. Maybe enough iced coffees will be enough to keep me satiated in the morning? I’ll try to make breakfast too. That might help. Typing my schedule out may help me feel in control.

8:00am - Get up, wash face, brush teeth, take pupper potty

8:30am - Do make up, get dressed

9:00am - Start making soy milk

10:00am - Leave for work

10:30am - Prep for client

11:00am - Meet client

12:00pm - Leave and work from home

And then I’ll have to take the rest of the day hour by hour. And hope I make the right choices. No, not hope... WORK on making the right choices. If I can get a little better each day, I will be who I’m meant to be eventually. I’m in no rush.

#journal entry #tw: ed #entries

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thestudentnurseblog · 7 years ago

Text

A day in the life of a student nurse.

(From the perspective of a 2nd year mental health student nurse in an acute setting).

4:45am: What the hell is that noise? Oh, it’s my alarm. Ugh. Snooze.

4:50am: Ugh, shut up alarm, i can hear you!

4:55am: Fine, i’m up, i’m up. -Sits up in bed to stare at the wall for at least 5 minutes-.

5am: Tip toeing out of my room, trying not to wake my flat mates who are luckily starting at 9am. Brush teeth, wash my face, do my morning pee.

5:10am: Get dressed in whatever clothes i can find, and go through to the kitchen to make food for the shift.

5:30am: Quietly leave the flat after double checking i have everything i need, and head out into the cold street where the sun has barely risen.

5:55am: Get on the bus, amongst other sleepy student nurses. Sip at my hot chocolate and hope the day goes quickly.

6:20am: Arrive at the hospital, get changed into my oh-so-flattering uniform, and sit in the lobby of the hospital for a bit, catching up on my social medias and yawning every 5 seconds.

6:40am: Head down to my placement ward, which of course has to be at the other side of the massive hospital. Typical.

6:55am: Spin around in the desk chair in the nursing office, waiting for everyone to arrive, and the night-shift can go home.

7am: Handover. The night-shift nurse feeds back about any new admissions or issues that there’s been overnight, and tells of how each patient on the ward has been overnight (Supper, meds, slept. The usual routine).

7:15am: Coffee!

7:45am: Check the diary for tasks to be done, and assign who’s doing what. Often this is left to the students, so don’t forget!

8am: Breakfast time and medication rounds. Stuffed in the little treatment room with a staff nurse, usually your mentor, popping medication that’s probably worth more than you’ll earn in a year after qualifying. Patients tend to come down to the treatment room after their breakfast (Different to general medical wards, as in those wards patient’s medication is usually kept in their little side cupboards at their beds, but this is a safety risk in mental health wards). But there’s some patient’s that you’ll have to rouse from their slumber (and who probably won’t thank you for it either).

9am: Everyone starts getting their breakfast breaks, a nice 15-20 minutes off the ward.

9:30am: Start completing diary tasks, phoning relevant parties about admissions and discharges etc, give out foil bowls for Urinalysis tests and routine drug screenings (happens all the time in mental health. You really do get used to the smell of pee as a nurse.)

10am: Maybe a depot injection or two. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten good at my injections, but when i find out that it’s an oily medication to be drawn up (Such as zuclopenthixol, an anti-psychotic for Schizophrenia) I could cry. It’s so much harder than water based ones, but we get through. Not very nice for the patients (A lot of the depot injections are injected into the buttock #upperouterquadrant) but necessary.

11am: A lot of the time, we’ve had an admission by this point, which means going over details with the patient, such as next of kin, allergies, clothing lists etc, and filling out the relevant documents on the computer. Otherwise, you might do some care plan reviews, which means catching up with a patient and seeing how they think things are going for them, usually carried out in the privacy of their own room.

11:30am: A little 30 minute stint on the door, signing patient’s in and out of the ward. Everything has to be recorded. What their agreed time out is, what they’re wearing, where they’re going, for how long, and if they have a lighter. Patients aren’t allowed out unless this is completed.

12pm: Lunchtime, and medication round 2. Usually not as big as the morning round, and takes around 15 minutes. Also, time for feedback, where the nurses and nursing assistants have a quick staff meeting to discuss how all of the patients have been over the morning.

12:30am: Note time. Each patient has a big folder, and at the end of each shift, a note needs to be written about how they’ve been, if they’ve eaten, washed, accepted medication etc, and how they’ve been behaviourally.

1:30pm: Handover time. Depending on what year you’re in, your mentor might make you do the handover with them. Which gives you something to do for the last hour of your shift. Feeding back to the back shift about how everything has been over the morning.

2:30pm: Home time! I usually get changed and sprint down to the front of the hospital in time to catch my bus home, ready to relax for the rest of the day (this usually involves falling asleep at 5pm and making your sleep pattern even worse).

So that was my day-to-day routine in a mental health ward, a usual early shift is 7-2:30, and the back shift is 1:30-9:30. It may seem like a short shift, but 5 of these a week can really drain you emotionally, physically and mentally. Sometimes the routine is not so simple. There can be aggressive patients kicking off at staff and other patients (the attack alarms will go off at least once or twice a shift), patients carrying out self harm (something I will never un-see), and just general poor mental health behaviours being shown. You never know what might happen.

#nursing #nursing student #student nurse #nurselife #nurse #nurblr #nursingschool #nursingstudent #studentnurse #lifeofastudentnurse

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the-tales-of-horror · 7 years ago

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We found my cousins "time" journal

Original Link By fknmadhed

Some days I get around slower than others... I don't even realise until I'm where I've gotta be and notice it took way longer than it should have.. I always wonder about that, often leaving the house without checking the time no matter how many times it happens to me, but it's an off and on thing and when I get in from work and it's maybe 2 hours later than I'm usually home I take it as it is. We rely on time so heavily that when it flys by it's so easy to just accept that maybe you weren't paying attention. So with that out of the way, I'm documenting times I leave and arrive by how long it takes to walk or drive.

3rd June, 8:47am - To work Arrived at 9:04am Normal day - This seems silly today

3rd June, 8:30pm - Heading home Arrived home at 9:56pm I went to the store, got some food for the night but I didn't buy much, nobody was really about so I was pretty much in and out. I don't really understand what took me so long, what would usually take me maybe 30 minutes has taken me an hour and a half... honestly it could've been anything I just need to get some food in me and to sleep.

10:31pm I'm still up, the tv's been acting pretty weird. I find that tv has a calming presence that helps put me to sleep.. though not tonight for god knows what reason, everytime I've started to drop off I'm being awoken by static harshly emanating from the TV.

Really I'm in two minds about what's happening with the time and all that, on one hand it's all just silly stuff that can be put down to my own mistakes or Whatever, but on the other hand there's just this voice going on in the back of my head telling me that it's not just that.

4th June - 8:45am Work Arrived at 9:06 Long day today, weird dreams last night. Probably will forget about all this by the end of the week

Left work at 9pm, arrived home at 11:32pm I didn't do anything. I didn't go to the store or clean up my desk, I checked the time at work, wrote it down and drove home. I'm sitting in my car still writing this, how did it take me over 2 hours to get home. How the fuck... I was driving the whole time, it felt like any normal journey driving at the same normal speeds. I don't want to sleep.. I even checked the time on my TV and just About everything I could check the time on incase my watch had messed up but nope. No such luck. The static is visible on the TV tonight, but the sound is different to how I remember it but my memories clearly fucked so I ain't even bothering I just turned it off.

5th June 11am I got to sleep in for a while, I had a crazy vivid dream last night after rolling around for a long while and finally slipping into a half slumber. What I remember from the dream is pure darkness, no color to the sky, no stars or moon or sun... just nothing. Like the sky was the back of a creature that had decided to walk away.

This thing has turned into more of a diary at this point but the dream felt related to what's been going on. 8th June, 12:16pm Nothing had happened for a while but then I was late to work today, I left the same time as i do every morning around 8:45am. I arrived at work for after 10. I lost an hour and I was aware of the entire journey. How does that even happen?

10:27pm So I've been thinking about this all day. like what it could be. My mind jumps between alzheimers and blackouts... neither sounding particularly exciting. But then right now I just looked it up online and there's this big thing around missing/losing time and how it might be related to aliens. Yeah. Right. Would take that possibility over the prospect of an untreated medical condition. 9th June, 1:15am Theres police lights outside I think. Kinda strange that there's not a single sound coming from the street but fuck it. Pretty annoyed by the fact that it woke me up and writing in this seems to get everything from the day out of my head, makes it easier to fall asleep.

9th June, left 8:45am and got in for 9:10am I'm dreading checking the time, when I close my eyes it's just numbers, it's all that I'm thinking about. I can't put it off and it's messing with how much work I'm doing. I'm putting this away for a while, my minds just fucking with me.

20th June I've been to see a doctor, there's no sign of anything that could be causing the memory loss or whatever it is. I went to be told that maybe my clocks wrong and Out of fear of sounding strange I agreed. I've checked just about every clock I've seen to double check on the days it has fucked with me. And also, I had another one of those dreams last night, darkness then lights and static like in the real world harshly vibrating my mind until it becomes unbearable, I woke up to static on the television and put it down to that. First time in my damn life I've had a recurring dream that I'm able to remember... still can't get the numbers out of my head.

22nd June, 1:16am Half in that same dream, I woke up to what felt like cold elongated fingers pulling me over to the other side of my bed and in the midst of rolling I opened my eyes to nothing but the damn blue lights outside my window again. I just had a look around my room cuz that shit gave me chills and after looking Until my heart was back to a normal pace I put it down to sleep paralysis or some shit like that, but then I just looked outside and it's definitely not a police car. There's three lights floating above the houses just across from me, I can just about make a dark shape out but it blends so well with the night sky that I don't know where it starts and where it ends. So needless to say my hearts racing faster than it was and I'm thinking about aliens like it's a possibility. I'm not gonna sleep again tonight, I'm gonna sit downstairs and wait it out.

So, I just got down and it's 3:40am What the fuck is happening to me

25th June I'm seeing little shapes when I move my eyes today, like something running directly across my vision, so much so That on my way to the store I tripped and cut my ankle. It's kinda pulsating right now especially when I see this weird fucking thing in my eyes...

26th June, 2am-ish I got woken up again, no dreams just darkness and the sensation of cold fingers almost as if they're allowing me to wake up. I scratched at my cut a little, turned the light on and there's these weird little fibres in my nails.. so I looked at where I'd scratched the cut and it's just covered in these strange fibres, it hasn't been uncovered since I was able to put a band aid on and it definitely wasn't like this then.

27th June It's worse, time has skipped I don't know how many times today. My cut is worse, it looks infected but it feels fine. The fibres haven't cleared up I've cleaned it repeatedly. I'm considering seeing a doctor but it always feels like a waste of time.

So I looked it up online, apparently I'm not the only one. It's something that seems to be related to Lyme disease, but I've never been latched on to by a tick, just never. I've not had any of the symptoms, just these weird fibres and the only explanation of what it could be are by dudes on YouTube with crazy eyes and the occasional little twitch or some shit.

Honestly is it just me, I wonder all the time if I'm the only one that constantly feels so close to death, like I'm not gonna live until I'm 20 until I made it, then it became 30 and I'm just over thinking this shit. I don't have records of what was in the sky the night of the blue lights, nothing physical has been Touching me, maybe the fibres are just coming from my clothes or whatever.. the weird thing in my eye is only there when I move it fast enough but it seems to be doing it far more spaced out than that first day. I think maybe I'm okay, I haven't been paying attention to the time so much, I've felt like it's just making me go insane.

2nd July Dreams again, lights again, the fibres are spreading inside of my skin I can feel it... I don't think they're fibres anymore though they're wriggling I think I can see movement

3rd July I definitely saw my skin move, my eyes jolted as I sat still too, like that effect in Fight Club where everything moves as the camera stays still. It made me super dizzy and grew until I passed out Waking up at around 11pm, which means I was out for a good 12 hours... waking up exhausted and shivery, my skin crawling worse than it has, a lot of the vision in my left eye is being blocked but only in movement. When I keep it still I see through whatever it is.

I feel like I'm dying. As I write this I'm giving into that thought. My hearts beating faster than it ever has, my bones ache, my fingers slowly forgetting how to type and my mind slowly forgetting where it is that I am.

4th July I woke up Fine The lights again, but they give me comfort now

5th July I do not see the point of this anymore I'm fine. The time does not skip anymore. I will work today.

And that's where it ends. Incase you're wondering this was my cousins 'time' journal let's call it. A few weeks ago he started acting strangely, the whole family had noticed and he opened up to me about the fibres and the weird dreams and time disappearing, I brushed it off and didn't tell anybody because it was completely out of character and I wasn't in it to worry anybody so I tried to get him help but he refused, frustrated by the doctors of the past I presumed. But I also suspected some part of him was enjoying all of this... now when he comes to our house he stares at things, he answers everything bluntly and cold with very few inflections to his usually colorful accent... he never sits down, he doesn't clear his throat or cough or sneeze I haven't seen him yawn, he hasn't cuddled me. He's a completely different person and I need answers about what has happened to my cousin... he's been making it clear that he wants to babysit my children and last month I wouldn't have even second guessed it. But he's lifeless.. he stares through me and talks at me, he doesn't respond emotionally and his skin is so cold. I watched him stare into my child's bed and replicate the nonsensical sounds he makes when trying to form sentences(being only just a year). I need answers, because if I hadn't heard what I thought was my son speaking that night through the baby monitor I may have not checked.. none of it is right. None of it makes sense. So I come to you for the answers I need and to share my story without everybody thinking I'm going fucking crazy. Because I'm scared that I am, especially after I felt the cold fingers he described Pull me over and wake me up last night.

#We found my cousins time journal #Horror Stories #TTOH #Scary Story #Reddit NoSleep

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duketheman · 5 years ago

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Generation 4 Part 4

Skipping ahead seven months

Sunday November 24, 2019

"John Ross comes home for the Holidays"

It's 4:30am & I'm finishing up my cup of coffee & Mary is asleep as she's getting close to the Delivery date & I want her to rest. I'm sure she'll be up before I get back from the Airport with JR! His flight is scheduled to arrive at 6:00am & I'm being cautious as to have plenty of time to park & meet him at the gate! We don't miss Church, so we'll attend evening service tonight! It's 4:45am & I'm on my way to Miami International to pick up JR. Mary is so excited & as for Kellyanne, I've asked George to bring her to the house later! JR wanted to surprise her, so we didn't mention him coming home yet! It's 5:30am & I've arrived at the airport. I park in the Garage & walk across to the terminal to the arrival gate! I go to the coffee shop & purchase a Cinnamon Bun & a cup of coffee, sit down & wait for the flight to land! Ahh, his flight is landing! It 6:15am & late. But no matter, it's here, safe & that's what counts! The airport is just starting to get crowded Thanksgiving holiday & all! It's 6:40am & JR is just getting through Security! I tell: ~JR!!!!~ He sees me & walks towards in my direction. First words out of his mouth: ~Dad, how Kellyanne, God I miss her! Oh you to Dad, how have you & mom been, Is she showing big now?~ I reply: ~We've been fine & yeaaa! She showing real big son! Did Kellyanne tell you she's got a baby sister coming around the same time as you new baby

brother?~ He replies: ~Yea, that's something, isn't Dad! Weird but I like it. They can be best friends! Let's go home Dad, I really want to to see Mom. I miss her so much! Sometimes when I was down & stuck on something I thought I couldn't do; Mom encouraged me & told me I can do anything if I put my mind to it! Just like when I was a kid! She called me allot Dad!~ I reply: ~She's that way son. Always has been. She loves you more than anything! Let's go, she's probably awake & cooking us breakfast as we speak!~ We pick his bags out from the Baggage Carousel, left the terminal & walked across to the garage where my Beamer was parked! It's 7:55am & we're headed for home! We're pulling into our Driveway & it's 9:00am. JR darts for the house! He really missed his Mother! I get the bags & carry them into the house! I open the door & the two of them are hugging each other like it's been years! My wife is crying she's so happy to see her little man! I walk by them with the bags & carry them upstairs to JR's room! I smell food & I welcome it, I'm starving! She's got Bacon, sausage, Biscuits, white gravy, eggs & grape jelly on the table. Grape is JR's favorite! We have Orange juice, milk, coffee & apple juice for Mary. My wife says: ~You boys dig in now, while it's hot!~ Nobody has to tell me twice, I'm hungry! I'm finished eating, & I get up, pick up the table & clean everything up. That gives time for Mary to catch up with JR! Afterall, at 12:30pm, Kellyanne will be here & they're going to be spending an awful lot of time together! I'm done with the dishes, those two are still at it, so I go into the library & read up on seaman regulations! They're constantly changing! Wow, two hours & my eyes are killing me, I need a break! Doorbell is ringing, it 12:25pm. It's George, Lucy & Kellyanne! I invite them in & before I can say anything, Kellyanne sees JR. She yells out in Joy: ~John Ross! 'O John Ross, I didn't even know you were going to be here! When did you get in?~ He replies: ~I wanted to surprise you! I got in early this morning! I've missed you so much Kellyanne!~ She replies:

~John Ross, I've missed you terribly! I'm so happy you're home! How long are are you home for John Ross?~ He replies: ~ I have to leave on January 2, 2020. I'm here until after the Holidays!~ The go into the other room so they can talk! Man, I can't tell who's belly is bigger! Oh well, next month the new ones will be filling everybody's hearts with joy!

Skipping ahead to November 27

It's 7:00am & Mary, myself, JR, George, Lucy & Kellyanne are getting ready to board a flight to Valdosta Regional Airport Headed to spend the Holidays with my parents! Mary's Parents & Julia's Mother will also be joining us at the Mansion! We've checked our luggage & it's 7:30am. Our flight leaves at 8:00am & we're going through Security now! It's 7:55am & we're boarding the plane! The trip is expected to be smooth & take approximately 4 hours with 1 stop. We should be landing at about 12:00pm! I will be happy to see my parents & JR certainly will enjoy seeing all of his Grandparents in one place. This will probably be the last time he'll see his Grandma Rachael! She's been in poor health lately. I'm glad she'll have time with JR! It's 12:05pm & we're landing. We disembark the plane & run through Security. It's 12:45pm & we're heading towards the Baggage Carousel! The ladies are seated so not to put strain on them. They are just about a week from due date! My Father has sent a Limousine service to pick us up because of the amount of people! I spot the Chofer holding a sign with our name on it! I signal him to come & give us a hand! We get a Baggage cart & load the luggage onto it & head for the door. The Car is parked at the loading zone. We help the ladies in the we get in. The Chofer loads the luggage in the trunk! We're on our way to Madison County, just across the State line. About 30-35 minutes from here to the Mansion! It's 1:30am & we're pulling onto the Grounds of Newport Mansion! George says: ~Dang Harry, dis place be beautiful! I ain't neva seen a place be like dis!~ I reply: ~It's just a place to live George! Too big for me!~ My Parents are both outside waiting for us as we pull up! My Mother is quite famous for her Sweet tea & Lemonade! My Grandma Nippy's recipe! She welcome everyone. She kisses me on the cheek & my wife & says:

~We've missed you!~ She shakes the hands of George & Lucy & says: ~You're most welcome here, consider yourselves part of the family. My name is Candace, you may call me Candy!~ She looks at Kellyanne & says: ~Now, who do we have here child? Such a Beautiful young Lady!~ She replies: ~My name is Kellyanne Mam, Pleased to meet you! Mother replies: ~ So polite! Well then Kellyanne, you can call me Grandma if you wish. ~Now everyone, this is Charles, my husband Harry's Father!~ She turns to JR & says: ~Now John Ross, come here my boy & let you Grandma give you some love!~ He walks over to Mother & holds out his arms & my Mother gives her Grandson a hug to remember! She says: 'O John Ross, I've missed you so much! I'm so proud of you & I'm so glad you could make it & spend the Holidays with us!

Rachael, will be flying in tonight, Will & Laura are driving & should be here soon! Our family keeps growing! Now for you two expecting Mothers, arrangements have been made with Madison County Memorial Hospital! I have a Dr Jameson on call in case of an emergency! I believe your Doctor is Kleinpeter? Dr Jameson says that he knows him!

Dr Jameson has with your permission agreed to take over while you're here? Both Mary & Lucy simultaneously say: ~Of course, & thanks Mom, Mary adds!~ Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show our guest to their rooms!~ He replies: ~Yes Mam, (looks at us) right this way please?~ George asks: ~Harry, a Butler, well day beat all! Dis place be Beautiful Harry!~ Mother says loudly: ~We've had a late lunch prepared for you, if you're hungry!~ I reply: ~Yes, thank you Mother, I'm quite

hungry!~ George adds: ~Me too, me belly be achin, really achin! Me be thirsty too! Harry, Rich people drink beer?~ I reply: Yes George, my Father was born in Texas. He enjoys a cold Bud once in a while! But he quite likes his Brandy!~ He replies: ~Me too!~ I leave my wife upstairs to change & come down to say a real hello to my Father: ~Hello Father, I've missed you!~ He turns to me & says: ~Son, I've missed you too! I'm so happy you came to spend the Holidays with us!~ He hugs me & says: ~ I love you Son!~ I've always been close to my Father! He's a Good man & has always done his very best for his family! I ask: ~Father, will my Sister & Brothers be joining us?~ He replies: ~Jaime had to make a choice! She's spending Thanksgiving with Bill's parents! They'll be joining us for Christmas! You're Brothers have to work through Thanksgiving because of some bureaucratic meddling! They'll be joining us this weekend!~ Everyone is coming downstairs, let's go into the Drawing room, Huntington will be serving a late lunch! Just some horderves & little stuff like that to hold you over until dinner.~ We all enter the Drawing room & Father asks: ~Drinks anyone?~ George is ready: ~Bud please?~ Father replies:

~Of course George, Would you be a Seaman by any chance my good man?~ aye, Me would Sir!~ Both our wives reply: ~Sprite if you don't mind?~ The kids have already got Coke! I request: ~Scotch on the Rocks~ In comes Huntington: ~Horderves!~ He's serving us one by one! Shrimp, Caviar, Olives, Rolled Ham, & other various treats! Kids ask him if he'd just make the a couple sandwiches & he happily agreed! We sat, enjoyed each other's company toasted the expecting Mother's & my Parents as well as Mary's & of course Rachael! It's nice being around family & friends. I'm really glad we made this trip!

4:00pm & Mary's parents just arrived from Raleigh, NC. They've got to be tired, that's at least a 11 hour trip; allowing stopping to rest & eat! Straight through, mmmmh, I'd say 8 1/2 hours! Either way, it's hard on them at their age! Mary & Mother & myself meet them at the car, & I get their luggage out of the trunk! Laura looks at her daughter & begins to cry out of happiness! She places her hand on Mary's belly, giggles & says: ~I can feel the little guy kicking in their!~ Mother walks up to Laura & says:

~Welcome my Dear Friend, we're so glad you could join us for the Holidays!~ She replies: 'O Candice, we appreciate you guys so much. I wouldn't miss it for the world, & besides; my Baby is having a Baby! Now where is John Ross?~ I reply: ~He's somewhere around here with Kellyanne!~ She replies: ~Kellyanne? Our Little man is not so little anymore, is he?~I reply: ~No Laura, he's in love!~ She remarks: ~Well, that sounds serious!~ I say: ~Yes, it is!~ Mary hugs her Father & kisses his cheek, hugs him again & says: ~'O Daddy, I've missed you so much! How have you & Mom been doing? Have you stayed well?~ He replies:~Yes my Dear, We've been well! I get quite bored with myself since I retired from the University, but it's worth it to spend more time with your Mother! We've missed you too!~ Candace he says: ~Where's Charles?~ She replies: ~Charles has gone to the Airport! Rachael's flight is scheduled to arrive at 5:00pm from Dallas! They'll be pulling in before you know it! Let's go inside?~ We all go into the Mansion & Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show my Dear friends to their room?~ He replies: ~Yes mam~ She adds: ~Will, Laura, We'll let you freshen up! We can talk after!~ Huntington grabs their bags & shows them to their room! It's 6:00pm & Father's arrived with Rachael! Mother & I meet them at the car. I open the rear passenger door & help Rachael out. I hug her & say: ~Mom, I'm so glad you could make it! The Holidays wouldn't be the same without you!~ She replies: ~I almost didn't come Harry, I was hurting, but I want to see you & my Grandson one more time before I join my Baby & Jimmy in Heaven! Where is that boy?~ I reply: ~I'll find him for you Mom! He's around here somewhere, he doesn't know you're here yet!~ Mother asks: ~How was your trip Rachael? How are you feeling?~ She replies: ~The trip was fine Candy, I'm just a little tired! How are you doing?~ Mother replies: ~I'm doing pretty good for an old Lady! Come inside & rest, I'll have Huntington take your bags to your room!~ They go inside & I'm in search of my son! There they are, on the swing! I call out: ~JR! Your Grandma Marcantel is here! Go see her!~ He replies: ~Grammy's here, come on Kellyanne, you'll just love her!~ He takes Kellyanne by the hand & heads for the house to see his Grandmother! She has pancreatic cancer & it's spread beyond control! There's no more they can do! This is the last time he'll see her! She's all that's left of Julia besides my son! I go back to the house & go inside! Everyone is sitting in the Drawing room talking & getting to know each other! I ask George: ~How's it going Buddy, enjoying yourself?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, ya be havin a huge family ya be Harry! Me like very allot!~

It's 7:00pm & Huntington announces: ~Dinner is being served in the Dinning room!~ We all go towards the Dining & are seated! George's eyes have doubled in size! I haven't seen this table filled in years, since my Wedding! The food looks Delicious. Tomorrow is the Big one, Thanksgiving! Mother goes all out! We finish dinner & retire to the Drawing room. It's 9:00pm & my Father offers drinks. The kids are drinking soft drinks. The ladies all, except for Mother, request just water. Rebecca needs to take her meds. The remaining four of us have Brandy! We sit & visit & we are truly family! It's 10:00pm & we're all tired! Rachael calls me over & whispers to me: ~Harry, please take me to see my Julia in the morning?~ I reply: ~Of course I will Mom! First thing.... We say Goodnight & retire to our rooms respectfully! My poor Mary, her legs are swelled up, so I run her a warm bath. I wash her back for her, I love pampering my wife! I take a shower & we both get into bed. I rub her legs for her to make them feel better! We lay down & I put my arm around her, resting my hand on her belly! I can feel the baby moving around inside of her, God is Good! Goodnight all!

Thursday, November 28

Thanksgiving Morning

Julia's Grave

It's early, 6:00am, & My son & I are up drinking coffee! The others are still sleeping. I promised Rachael that I would take her over to the East side of the property to see Julia's grave! JR wanted to come along to see his Mother's grave & asked if he could come along! It's 7:00am & Rebecca has come down stairs. I ask: ~Coffee mom?~ She replies: ~No, but thank you Harry! Coffee doesn't agree with me anymore. Maybe some juice diluted with water?~I reply: ~Sure mom, Apple juice okay?~ She replies: ~That will be fine Harry, Thanks!~ She takes out this pharmacy of medication out & begins to take them a few at a time! She asks: ~Harry, can I have a piece of toast, no butter? Just to settle my stomach!~ I reply: ~Sure mom, I'll fix it for you now!~ I give a plate with toast & she nibbles on it until it's gone!

It's 8:00am & I borrowed my Father's car! We're enroute to the East side of the property where our Family Cemetery's located! It's about a twenty minute drive. It's 8:25 & we've arrived at the cemetery. I help Rachael out of the car & the three of us walk over to Julia's grave. Rachael puts her hand on the Gravestone & talks to her daughter with tears in her eyes: ~I'll be with you & your Daddy soon Baby! We all miss you so much! John Ross is here! He misses you too Julia! But he's doing fine! You'd be so proud of him, he's grown into a fine young man!~ She closed eyes and said a prayer. JR took hold of her hand & prayed with her. He said: ~I love you Mom, I've never forgotten how you use to hold me! I never will Mom, I promise!~ I too had my own private talk with Julia, I shall keep to myself! Rachael asks: ~Harry, what a beautiful Headstone! I've never quite seen one like this before!~ I reply: ~Julia always loved the Dolphins! I only thought it right to have them watch over her!~ She replies:

Thank you Harry for that! She always thought they were the true Mermaids of the Sea! She had a whole shelf full as a little girl!~ I place an array of Julia's favorite flowers on her grave! I say: ~Mom, you know we all love you. You know JR & I love you. My Parents love you! Mom, we'd like to move Dad from Shreveport & lay him to rest beside Julia with your permission! Mom, we've a spot here for you too! She's got tears in her eyes & replies: ~Harry, we have nobody in Shreveport! Yes, of course you have my permission! Harry, our Julia loved you very much! God Bless you

Harry!~ We get back in the car & ride back to the Mansion! Throughout the day we all had time to catch up. Later that evening......

Thanksgiving Dinner

6:00pm

Huntington rings a bell: Dinner is being served! May I offer my Heartfelt Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Mother announces: ~Today is Thanksgiving Huntington, & you are considered part of this family. You'll be eating with us tonight Huntington!~ He replies: ~Yes Mam, thank you mam!~ I've never seen Huntington smile before, but he's smiling now!

The twelve of us all go to the Dining room & are seated as such: Mother & Father at each end. Rachael is seated on Mother's right & Huntington on her left. Kellyann is seated next to Rachael & JR next to Huntington. Lucy is seated next to Kellyanne & her George next to JR. Mary's Mother is seated next to Lucy & he Father is seated next to George. Mary is seated on my Father's left & I on his right! My Father says Grace over the Thanksgiving Feast. Amen. The table is set in a Formal matter & with a Feast fit for Royalty, everything anyone could imagine. My Mother always does it right!

We eat drink & be Thankful for the food, love of Family & all God has provided us! God is Truly Good! God Bless us all!

We're finished with dinner & all retire to the Drawing room for Drinks & conversation! Mother decides that it's time that we put some Christmas music on! Tomorrow she will be putting up a tree! She has a 21ft Douglas Fur being trucked in from Atlanta in the morning.

We're singing Christmas Carols, we've only 27 days till Christmas! It's 11:30pm. Rachael looks tired. She needs to rest, I help her upstairs to her room! She's in pain & I ask: ~Mom, is there anything I can do?~ She replies:

~No Harry, It'll pass! I just need to rest! Thank you Harry, for everything! I reply: ~Goodnight Mom, Sleep well!~

I go back downstairs & join the rest of the Family! It's 1:00am & we decide to end the night & retire to our rooms.

Mary's Water Breaks!

We say our Goodnights & go upstairs. While in the bathroom, Mary calls me in: ~Harry, it's time,my water broke!~ I reply ~Darling, it's too early!~ I'm quite anxious by now! She has a bag ready & I proceed to take her downstairs, only stopping to knock on Mother's door to let her know & Mary's parents, who's wanting to accompany us. They'll drive since their car is here! Mother's calling Dr Jameson to meet us at Memorial!

We make Madison County Hospital & its 2:15am. Professor Covington drops us off at the Emergency entrance & I grab a wheelchair & wheel Mary in. I'm going out of my mind & Mary is cool, calm & collective. We get her admitted & Dr Jameson arrives. He examines her & says: ~How are you doing young lady?~ Mary replies: ~I'm having a Baby!~ He turns to me & asks: ~Your the Father, Are you going to be in there with her~ I reply I can be there too?~ He replies ~Yes, of course, better hurry & get ready! She's almost fully dilated, it won't be long! He tells the nurse to have me wash my hands, get me a gown & mask. He has Mary get in a gown & lay on a gurney. The wheel her I to the delivery room & I follow. They transfer her to a Delivery table. The Dr asks: ~Want an epidural?~ She replies: No Doctor, I want this to be natural!~ The nurse says: ~She's fully dilated Doctor~ He replies: ~Good, I want you to breathe!~ I'm watching this as he reaches between her legs, gently grasp this little head coming out of my wife!

Friday November 29, 2019

Time of Birth: 4:11am

Harry Jr. 7 lbs 13oz

He's crying as he comes out. I always thought they had to swat the rear end. I'm evidently wrong! He hands him to the nurse who places him on my wife's belly as he cuts the umbilical cord & cleans the fluids out of his mouth & nose! They wrap him in a blanket & hand him to me, while they clean Mary up! He's perfect & healthy & his Mother his okay too. God is Good, thank you Lord!

They're done cleaning her up, I kiss her & say:

~I love you Mrs Newport, he's perfect. ~ She replies: ~'O my Harry, I love!~ They hand her the baby & she's as proud as she can be! She crying & says: Harry: ~His name is Harold Joseph Jr.!~ She named him after me!

They tell they're taking her to the room & will let me know when I & the Grandparents can come in! I go to the visiting room & give Mary's parents the news. They are ecstatic that they have a new Grandson. It's 5:30am & I call my Mother. I spoke to JR & told him he has a new baby Brother. Everyone is excited to hear the news & are making ready to come to the Hospital. It's 8:00am, my parents, JR & Kellyanne arrive to visit Marry! The Baby is in the Nursery for now & can be viewed through a window. George & Lucy will visit later when I come back to the Hospital! Rebecca is not feeling well & is resting in her room. Mother has hired a nurse to stay with us as long as Rachael needs her! It's 10:00am & I kiss my wife, tell her I love her & I need to go get a couple hours rest & check on Rachael! We'll ride home with my parents & I'll return this afternoon. We head home & Mary's parents will follow so she can get her rest. We get home, it's 10:50am. I go upstairs to check on Rachael & find she's in pain. I ring for the nurse & she explains that she just gave her a shot of Morphine & anymore would be dangerous! She get some cool towels so to bring her temperature under control. I ask: ~Mom, how are you doing?~ She replies: ~It'll pass son, thank you~ She told me to get the envelope out of the Nightstand next to the bed: ~Harry, that letter gives you my Power of Attorney to handle any & all my business if necessary! I'm leaving the house to John Ross! It's his Mother's Childhood home! Please see that it's taken care of?~ I reply: ~Mom, you're not going

anywhere!~ She replies: ~Sure Harry, please do as I ask?~ I reply: ~I will Mom!~ The Morphine's doing its job & she falls asleep! She's a good woman & when she's gone, JR's only link to Julia will be too! He loves his Grammy & she loves him! Cancer took Julia, her Father & now it's taking Rachael!

The Christmas tree’s Delivered

It's 11:35am & The delivery truck is here from Atlanta with the Christmas tree. Beautiful tree Mother has them bring it into the house & set it up in the Grand Foyer. She loves to go big! I'm going to lay down for a couple hours so I can get back to the Hospital! It's 2:30pm & I'm headed back to the Hospital, George & Lucy are accompanying me! Lucy's looking pretty tired & I hope she's okay! George is getting excited about having another child! It's 3:00pm & we arrive at the Hospital! We park, go inside & we pass Mary's parents on the way out! Laura says: ~The Baby is perfect Harry!~ Professor Covington adds: ~Yes he is, congratulations my boy! We're going back to the house. See you there!~ I reply: Thanks, I just want you to know, I'm really glad you could be here! Talk to you when we get back!~ We go up to Mary's room, she's breastfeeding the baby! George is immediately embarrassed so she covers he breast & he relaxes! Lucy say: ~How are you feeling Mary?~ She replies~ Alls well Lucy, the baby's healthy & is a perfect little guy! He looks like Harry~ She smiles & winks at me! I'm so happy they're both okay! Mary asks Lucy: ~How are you Lucy?~ She replies: ~Oh, I'm Ooooo, ahh, I'm doing, ohhhhh, George: I think it's time~ as she holds her belly... George replies: ~Time for what me luv? Oh, Oh naw, now?~ He runs out in the hall yelling for a nurse. Lucy calmly walks out & sits in a wheelchair. Mary says: ~Go with them Harry, until he settles down! I'll be fine, not going anywhere!~ I tell George to settle down, & I ask the nurse to call Dr Jameson! Lucy's water just broke & now George is frantic: ~Calm down George, everything is fine. That's supposed to happen! Weren't you there when she had Kellyanne?~ He replies: ~Me wasn't here Harry, Navy, on a

Ship!~ I reply: ~Okay old man, everything's good!~ He settling down, Doctor's here & he takes her into the exam room! Been fifteen minutes & the Doctor comes out & asks George: ~It's time Mr Richards, coming?~ I say: ~Go with the nurse George! She'll show you where to wash your hands!~ He replies: ~Fer what? I reply: ~So you can be in there with her!~ He replies: ~Me, in der, me can be wit me Lucy? Ohhh, Okay, Me be seein ya Harry!~ He looks awfully nervous, I sincerely hope he doesn't faint! I tell him to let me know when the baby comes. I go back to my wife's room, she's holding the baby! She hands the little guy to me. He's grabs my pinky finger. His grip is strong. Just like when JR was born! I'm holding a miracle in my arms, a new life. I'm worried about Rachael too, I don't think she's got long. She says she's ready, she wants to be with Julia & The Rev!.......

Friday, November 29, 2019

Time of Birth: 7:03pm

Anabel 6lbs 2 oz

It's 7:15pm & George comes into the room: ~Me little girl be born at 7:03pm. She be Beautiful Harry, but Me need a beer!~ I ask: ~What's her name George?~ He replies: ~Anabel Josephine Richards, after me Mum!~ I reply: ~That's a Beautiful name George, is she in the Nursery?~ He nods his head Yes, & we go to see the Annabelle! She's really quite a beautiful baby. George says: ~She got me mum's eyes~ I reply: ~She's Beautiful George, Congratulations old man!~ He replies: ~Well then, Me be thankful to God, & Harry, ifin ya not be mindin, Me & me Lucy be wantin fer ya & ya Mary to be da Godmuder & Fadder, dat is, ifin ya not be mindin?~ I reply: ~George, we will be honored!~ Next he takes me to see Lucy, she had a rough time of it. She went natural too, but was in labor four hours! She's doing well now! George says: ~Me neva see nuttin like it Harry! Dat der Doctor reach down der & he pull me little girl out! Harry, she be so little, when I be holdin her, be like a bird! Awhh Me be Lovin her Harry & me Lucy too!~ I reply: ~I know old man! You call Kellyanne yet & tell her she's got a new Baby sister?~ He replies: ~Nay, Me ferget Harry! Me do now!~ I tell him I'm going back to Mary's room, there's only twenty minutes of visiting time left. Both our wives need to get their rest. Mary & Harry Jr are scheduled to be released tomorrow. I'm back in Mary's room. The nurse just gave me a ten minute heads up! I say: ~Darling, you sure gave us a Beautiful baby. I love you with all my life!~ I kiss & hold her in my arms for a minute. It's 9:00pm straight up & the nurse reaffirms it by telling me, Visiting hours are over. I say thanks, kiss my wife & tell her I will be here at 8:00am to sign her & the baby out! I meet George out in the hall, head downstairs & to Father's car! We head back to the Mansion. It's 10:00pm & we arrive, followed by my sister Jamie & her husband Bill Langley. They drove in from Little Rock! We step out of the car & greet them. I introduce George & fill them in with the news. Been a busy last couple of days. Jamie asks: ~How is Mary & the baby?~ I reply: ~They're doing well & Jamie, Little Harry is absolutely perfect!~ She hugs me & kisses me on the cheek: ~I'm glad Harry, you two deserve all the happiness in the world!~ Then she turns to George & says: ~How are your wife & baby doing?~ He replies: ~Good, me be thankin ya fer askin~ We go I to the house & our parents are waiting for me. They didn't know that Jamie & Bill were coming in tonight? Mother sees Jamie, & is surprised: ~Jaime, I wasn't aware you were coming in tonight! She hugs & kisses her hello, hugs Bob, he's a man of few words! Jaime sees Father, & like a little girl, runs into his arms: ~Daddy, 'O I've missed you Daddy! How have you been?~ He replies: ~Quite well Jaime! I've missed you too! I wish we could see more of you!~ They hug & my sister is reluctant to release him. She's always been a "Daddy's Little Girl". Mother calls for Huntington: ~Huntington, please show my Daughter & Son in-law to their room?~ He replies ~Yes Mam! He takes their bags & shows them to the room! Mother says: ~Tomorrow's the first day of December Son! Everyone will be here, the girls will be home from the hospital & we're going to decorate the tree!~ I reply: ~Yes Mother, I'm bringing Mary & the Baby home tomorrow morning. Lucy & their little one should be getting the next day! Right George?~ George replies: ~Right, Sunday!~ Mother replies: ~Good then, this is so wonderful, I just love Christmas time! God has graced us once again with two new lives, what can be better than that?, Goodnight you two! We tell my mother Goodnight & she goes upstairs! My Father says: ~You both look like you can use a drink! I reply reply: ~Scotch please Father?~ George replies: ~Me too, please, Me be thankin ya fer it Sir!~ My Father says: ~Very well~ He pours us both a Scotch on the rocks. We toast each other, drink our drinks & say Goodnight! Its been a long couple of days but we're Blessed!

Continued

#newports

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bloodelves88 · 5 years ago

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Trip to Taipei/Hualien/Taichung/Puli, Taiwan (Part 5)

Part 1 here (Hualien). Part 2 here (Taipei). Part 3 here (Taipei). Part 4 here (Taichung/Puli). Part 6 here (Puli/Taichung/Taipei).

Whew, this has to be the most event filled holiday I’ve ever been on. This should be the second last part.

Day 6

We woke up late today. It’s around 10:15am now. Time for breakfast.

We went to A-bao, which was the easiest to find because we saw it the previous day, and it seems the nearest. Okay, no idea if it’s actually the nearest because we didn’t even bother looking at where the other two places were.

They sold mostly burgers, toast, egg wraps, and drinks. Their burgers are pretty good, but their drinks are terrible. They all tasted diluted. It’s also not easy to squeeze in a burger and a drink within NT$50 (the value of the breakfast coupons from J House). I think NT$60 or 70 would be more comfortable.

Anyway, I got a chicken burger. It’s pretty good. I’ve noticed that you can’t go wrong with fried chicken in Taiwan. They’re always delicious.

I also got Assam Milk Tea. It was disgusting. I drank one quarter of it and left the rest in the shop. I’ve also noticed that stores in Taiwan always default to the larger sized drink when you order. Staying under NT$50 would actually have been possible if I ordered the small drink.

Anyway, today’s itinerary is the Sun Moon Lake. We took the Nantou bus there.

Once we got off the bus at the lake, we were approached by people selling boat tickets.

They were selling a day pass for the boats, which would bring you to and from any of the three piers around the lake. You’re free to take as many rides as you want, and it only cost NT$150 per person due to some discount if you used the EasyCard to tap in and out for the bus ride (original price is NT$300). A pretty good deal, I would say. I think my friends wanted to cycle around the lake, but I told them that 90% of the perimeter of the lake is just nothing but road and trees. Later on, I would be fully convinced that taking the boat is the right decision. More on that when the time comes.

We headed towards the pier (Shuishe Pier), and got approached by someone selling vinegar. It was flavoured vinegar, and it’s actually not that bad. Then we discovered that she sells tea as well, and since one of my friends is crazy about tea, we went in.

We sat there for a little more than 30 minutes, and we each made off with one can of tea. It cost NT$400, which is a little pricey for tea, but hey, it’s good tea. We were all able to test the tea before drinking it. If you read part 4, this is actually how I knew the proper steps to brewing tea.

It’s a pack of loose leaf tea in the tin, and I’m wondering how to drink it. I bought a metal tea strainer to use in the office, so I guess I’m going to have to bring that home to use. And it’s going to take forever to finish the tea.

The shop was having an offer of buying four and getting one free, and she kept trying to convince us because we were just one tin short of that. She said it’s really a waste to not take up the offer, and I do agree. But I’m not the one interested in tea... so, eh. I wasn’t even that interested in buying that tin of tea in the first place. But the tin is really pretty and the tea is genuinely good.

She also mentioned that the shop’s boss could see everything on camera and that the phone that just rang was the boss, giving her instructions because she could see there were customers. Kinda scary 😲

Anyway, we were finally done with that, and now we were truly off to Shuishe Pier.

Shaky floors, even though they look solid. Fun!

They really need less water soluble stamps. I washed my hands later and there was red water flowing off. Terrible. And ugh, my hands look really old.

We decided to stand on the side of the boat, instead of going in to sit. Fun!

The first stop was Xuanguang Wharf. There isn’t really much here, just a temple.

View from the top. Not too shabby.

Anyway, that was it. Back to the pier, on to the next one.

On the boat, the guy in charge was saying that the two storey structure on the right was the third highest lighthouse in terms of sea level. Well, cool, I guess. Still doesn’t make it look absolutely underwhelming.

The next pier was Yidashao Wharf. There seems to be a market area here.

People singing. Not sure about their origins and why they’re dressed like that. They don’t sing in Chinese either. There was a similar group at the previous pier.

Street food vibes.

Anyway, it’s late again! And we haven’t had lunch. We walked into a Hong Kong dim sum shop.

They’re mostly pretty good. The two on the left most are just okay though. I think the best part is that all of this cost about NT$400 (SGD$17.72). I didn’t record expenses so I have no idea of the actual cost, argh.

Next up, we saw signs for a lakeside trail and a butterfly garden, so off we went.

Nice looking hotel on the way there.

Bees! Icky.

The view from the trail. Not much.

They were doing some reinforcing work on the slopes or something, and the pathway to the butterfly garden was blocked. Sad. We had to turn back. There was a cable car nearby (it’s actually the building in the distance in the picture above this), but we weren’t really interested in that. We decided to just randomly walk around the area.

We heard a rooster crowing, and we found this terrible looking skinny rooster. It seriously looks like it’s rotting and dying.

We eventually were back to the pier, and this time there were kids playing with bubbles, and there was a busker doing some balancing acts.

There were also some paddle boats, and I was somewhat interested. It was NT$300 per person though, which was a little pricey. Anyway, not much left to do or see, so we headed back to the pier, to prepare to go back to Puli.

A random fallen tree.

Sun rays! Always nice to look at.

It started to rain while we were waiting for the boat. When we got on the boat, we decided to stand at the front of it. This boat was bigger than the usual. But the rain gradually became heavier, so we went to the side of the boat which had a little bit of shelter.

Back to Shuishe Pier. The last bus to Puli was around 7:15pm, and it was only 5:30pm currently, so we decided to walk around the area. We decided to follow the lakeside trail. The rain stopped at this point.

Remember I said that it was a good idea not to cycle, and a good idea to take the boat? This is where I confirmed that thought. The trail started out fine, but the deeper we went, the more mosquitoes we encountered, we started walking into spiderwebs, and we started to see more spiders and spiderwebs dangling from the trees. We were all starting to feel very icky. It also started to rain again, and this time, it was the biggest one. We ended up pretty wet. We initially wanted to reach the Bamboo Rock Garden, which the sign said was 800m away, but we gave up when it was 600m away.

Pretty amusing, actually. We all ended up wet for quite a few of the days. We were wet by the waterfall at Taroko Gorge, we were wet by the waterfall and typhoon rains at Pingxi, and now we’re wet by the rain again.

Anyway, here are some sights along the lakeside trail.

Anyway, we made it back to civilization, and wandered around a bit. We went into a 7-11, made their floors wet, and went out. There wasn’t much to see, and we got wet some more because the rain just wouldn’t stop.

There was really nothing much left to see or do, so we decided to head back to the bus station. We reached there at around 6:45pm, and there was already a bus there waiting. We got on, and we got a private bus ride all the way back to Puli (the bus only had the three of us).

Back at Puli, we decided to look for dinner. I saw an interesting looking stationery shop, so we decided to go in. I bought a doggy keychain souvenir, as well as four anime posters. They were only NT$25 each, which was really quite ridiculous (in a good way). They’re large sized glossy colour posters at SGD$1.10 each? Of course I had to get some! I also bought a poster tube, because I didn’t want to get my posters damaged. The tube was a little too narrow for the posters, so I had a tough time getting the posters in. There was a shorter but wider poster tube on sale, but it was double the price, so I didn’t get that one. Maybe I should have.

After that, we were off in search for food. We came across a roundabout, which was a little difficult to cross. It’s still possible though, and that’s what everyone does in Puli anyway. Most of the traffic lights aren’t even in operation because there’s just so little traffic, so you just watch out for yourself. Jaywalking is a way of life, basically. One of my friends isn’t the boldest person out there, so we had to use a traffic light in the end (an additional 150m of walking, ugh 🙄).

We came across a shop selling railway lunch boxes, so we decided to buy some to bring back to our lodgings to eat.

The box is entirely made of wood. The food is pretty good. Again, can’t go wrong with fried chicken. I don’t know how Singapore manages to mess up fried chicken. It’s so bad I don’t even eat the skin because it’s not worth the unhealthiness. In Taiwan? I eat it all. And I’ve noticed that the food portions are really good for the price. This box costs SGD$3 or something, I forget.

It comes with packet coffee too, but I don’t drink that.

I bought a cup of pearl milk tea from a shop right next to J House. I wasn’t expecting much since it was a random unassuming shop, but boy, it turned it to be the best milk tea in this whole trip.

It wasn’t too sweet, the taste of tea is strong enough, and the pearls were all consistently chewy. Amazing. A big cup costs NT$35, and a small cup costs NT$25. I didn’t specify, so they gave the big one.

When we reached the door to our room, we saw the guy in charge. Good timing, we had to ask if we could check out late, or leave our luggage here. We didn’t want to go to Qing Jing Farm the next day while lugging our luggage around. The guy was pretty flexible, and said all we had to do was leave our bags in the room. To check out, we just had to drop the keys into a box which was mounted in the lift. If our bags weren’t gone by the time 11am came about, he would keep our bags elsewhere. J House has really good service so far.

After dinner, we decided to do some planning for the next day. We wanted to visit the Painted Animation Lane and the Chun Shui Tang original store in Taichung, and this was on top of our original plan of visiting the Qing Jing Farm. It’s a pretty tight schedule, so we had to work out the times we had to take the buses, and calculate it long it would take to travel. After all that calculation, we decided we had to wake up at 8am the next day. Well, off to sleep.

End of day 6.

Part 1 here (Hualien). Part 2 here (Taipei). Part 3 here (Taipei). Part 4 here (Taichung/Puli). Part 6 here (Puli/Taichung/Taipei).

#holiday #taiwan

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