#start to cry cause it hurts so fucking much to trust that someone will do their best to help me but instead causes me massive emotional pain

[littlelovelunette]

sevika cheating and attempts to keep it a secret cause she regrets it so much but reader finds out and cheats on her back without sevika knowing but she ends up finding out and maybe starts crying and then they make up and are happy again😁

Lipstick Stains That Weren't Yours

Contains alcohol intoxication, possible drug usage, cheating, mentions of insecurity, self harm and raged suicidal behaviour, implied chronic depression, trust issues

You hadn't expected to see it.

Never in a million years but when you did, something of your tough exterior that you usually kept on had broken.

Sevika came home particularly more drunk than usual and she smelled like someone else. Some very womanly perfume, smeared red lipstick on her neck and cheek.

You didn't know how to feel, tearing your hair out and killing yourself sounded so well right now. Purely out of rage.

“Sevika…” her name died there on your lips, no couple nicknames. Just her name so raw on your lips.

Despite all that, you still loved her. You helped her onto the bed, letting her lay down and sleep the intoxication off as you stayed close by.

You remained seated at the edge of the bed as you fiddled with the hem of your dress.

“No cuddles?” Sevika slurred, looking at you with bloodshot eyes but all you could feel was cold betrayal, something freezing up in your chest.

You reached a hand forward, closing her eyes for her and it wasn't long until she was blissfully snoring away.

All you could do was stare at the sleeping older woman as you wondered where you ever went wrong.

You looked up, your reflection looking back at you in the dimmed light. “I guess I just needed to put more effort into taking care of myself.” You whispered to yourself.

Looking at Sevika, you wondered whether the girl she'd kissed back at the bar was young and worth it. Did she really want to get rid of you?

So many thoughts flooded your mind and the only thing so constant and grounding was the pain filling your chest.

The next morning you had left Sevika her breakfast on the table and left for work earlier than usual. You still cared for her hence you cooked for her. Despite how pathetic it made you seem, you needed her.

Sevika woke up, looking around and was a little surprised to not see you curled up in her arms or beside her.

The headache that reached her that very moment told her everything she needed to know. She was probably drunk as fuck yesterday night.

“Ah shit.” She looked at her fingers after she rubbed her neck, the sight of the bright red lipstick that she just knew you'd never wear.

“Maybe she didn't see it.” Sevika told herself but was it true? Sevika walked to the kitchen and saw the food on the table, she was quite sure you hadn't seen the lipstick stains then.

Maybe you were asleep when she came back then. Probably. Because otherwise why'd you make her meal for her?

That afternoon the door opened earlier than Sevika had anticipated.

She took an off day from work so she could give you the time you needed and just in case, you did know that she cheated— she'd be able to perhaps talk you into not breaking up with her.

Sevika wasn't the type to beg but effort was expected of her.

When you came back home, you were drunk and perhaps a little high too. Yes, you've cheated back on her. And you made sure she'd see it.

“Babe, what's—” before Sevika could've finished her sentence, you dropped to your knees at the open doorway.

Hickeys covered every inch of your neck and you hiccuped with a drunken grin. “You cheated— hic — so I cheated ba— hic — ack…” you giggled as if you were a kid who did a good job.

The next time when Sevika called out your name, it was soft and very unlike her. Every letter was laced with sadness, hurt and a tiny tinge of understanding.

Silent as she was, she helped you off the floor and took you to the bedroom.

“Sleep, love.” Sevika only managed out as she watched you continue slurring about how good the other woman was.

You thought she wouldn't notice but Sevika did. As you talked of the other woman, your words were purely empty, eyes filled with self-hatred, insecurity and Sevika knew it was all just revenge-cheating.

It didn't make it right. But who was she to say anything? She started it.

Sevika swallowed the lump forming in her throat and quietly pulled your almost limp body in her arms.

You wouldn't remember. You were too drunk.

Sevika's face buried in the crook of your neck, warm tears hitting your skin. “I'm sorry. It's my fault. I made you like this.” Sevika said her voice was surprisingly measured for someone crying and breaking down. She had to make this right.

That night as you slept, Sevika stayed up with a cigarette tucked in her lips as she started making plans on how to make it up for the both of you.

It was clear that you were way more broken hearted than she was— Sevika had cheated and she was atleast aware of that when she did it.

But you?

It would be a miracle if you even remember the woman's name you cheated with. Sevika had never been cheated on before and she knew you had trust issues from your past, that made her feel worse for doing that to you.

The next morning when you woke up in bed with Sevika by your side, snoring and deep asleep, you couldn't help letting out a small sigh.

You felt like shit. Absolute shit.

You saw the mirror at the foot of the bed, hickeys on your neck. You assumed they were Sevika's, you didn't remember.

But when the mere thought of Sevika actually cheating on you hit you again, you couldn't even bring yourself to get up anymore. Body slowly giving away, you laid down and curled up.

Your eyes closed as tears soaked your pillow case, you were burnt out and tired. You couldn't anymore.

Sevika woke up, she had work so she had to kiss your forehead while you were asleep as she got ready. She was surprised you weren't up before her but she didn't question it too much.

When Sevika returned from work, she saw the lights off around the house. "Honey?" She rushed into the bedroom, eyes lingering over your blanket draped self still asleep. "Baby, wake up." She called out softly and sat down beside you.

Your eyes opened but there was dullness in them. A sort of lifelessness she'd never seen before in anyone else's eyes other than... Jinx.

Then, it hit her.

Sevika grabbed you up, hugging you tightly against her own chest. You choked out a sob, burying your face in her shoulder and sniffling. "I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Sevika buried her face in your hair trying not to cry herself too but it didn't help and she did. "I'm sorry, too, bunny. I hurt you first."

You both cried together that whole night and nothing more until you fell asleep from all the crying in her arms. Sevika held you close as you both slept the next morning you both had swollen eyes.

"Shit." Sevika mumbled as she saw her reflection of the mirror.

"I look like I got peppersprayed." You commented as you stood side by side to her, staring at the mirror.

Sevika chuckled, shaking her head as she prepped toothbrushes for the both of you. After you freshened up, so did Sevika and she picked you up carrying you to the kitchen.

"Pancakes?"

You grinned and nodded as she seated you on the counter. "You should become a housewife for a change." You pulled a leg up to rest your chin against your knee, a smug smile on your face.

"Oh shut it." Sevika said with no bite in her voice as she prepped the batter.

Mhm, she was a perfect housewife.

[quandledlngle69]

⸻ オリヴァ 愛空 OLIVER AIKU. PART I.

TW; angst, tangled situationship, hurt, 'cheating', oliver feeling guilt, not proofread that well. w.c. 1.7k

Oliver Aiku knows you like the back of his hand.

he knows that almost anything makes you laugh, he knows your favourite makeup brand, your signature scent, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when your paying attention to someone. he knows the cute scrunch of your nose when he teases you, he knows to always keep a hair tie on his wrist–with how forgetful you are. he knows how you prefer small, softer animals. he knows how much that dessert in that one restaurant means to you. he knows your favourite flower is the lily of the valley, because you like the way they droop and hang.

he also knows how your last relationship went, how it causes you to immediately shut down when someone yells at you. he knows how you go quiet when girls shamelessly hit on him, even when your standing right there. he knows that you know about the girls on his phone, in his dm's. he knows that he lets his mismatched eyes linger a little to long on other girls that aren't you. he knows the snarky, sarcastic, off–hand comments you make when he's annoyed you.

he also knows the slight trembling pout you do when your about to cry, the shaky loud exhale you do when tears start to brim your eyes. thats when he knows he's fucked up. he knows how he feels when your upset, particularly at him–his chest tightens, his stomach twists violently, and his smug persona dissipates into nothing.

he knows this is not a relationship, so why does it feel that way?

sure, he holds your hand in public, intertwined perfectly as if its supposed to be. sure, he always picks up food before heading to your apartment, knowing you'll jump and clap your hands with excitement. sure, one of your favourite bras is still hanging off his drawer. sure, he's never slept with you. not because he doesn't want to, but he feels as if he'd be taking something that isn't his. you've never slept with somebody before, he doesn't want to taint you all because he's selfish. sure, he likes kissing you. no, scratch that-he loves kissing you. he loves kissing you softly and gently, like a girl like you deserves. he loves the giggles that erupt from your throat when he blows raspberries into your neck. he loves your light–hearted complaints about his stubble, about how it tickles your skin.

he snaps out from his trance when he feels your hand shove something into his chest–his phone–before turning your back on him.

he couldn't imagine the dread and nausea you felt scrolling through the messages. he couldn't imagine the realisation you had when you figured out it was the girl he had told you not to worry about. he wished he could tell you it was only a shallow, lustful part of his brain. that it didn't mean anything. that she didn't mean anything.

but all he feels is that lump in his throat when you weakly ask him to explain himself. he looks at you like a kicked puppy, and you look at him like he's a stranger.

at his silence, you began to hastily shove things into your purse. and he doesn't stop you.

he's not gonna give you a cowardly excuse, no matter how bad the instinct is to do so. you already embody the word of exhaustion, you don't need his stupidity on top of that. the longer he watches you gather your things, the longer his lips remain sealed–the more he feels you slipping away.

given his history, you should have known better. you should have seen it coming. maybe it was the soft part of you, the openly trusting side that let him delve into the deepest parts of your soul, blind to the fact he would have just ripped it out in the end. you hated the fact you were dumb to assume those eyes only stayed on you, that his lips only caressed yours, that his hands were only fond with the curves of your body.

he fucking hates to see you cry, let alone sobbing so harshly. your mascara and lip gloss smeared down your face, some on the back of your hand from attempting to wipe away your blurry vision. you were dolled up for him an hour ago, he recalls how you once said you hated spoiling your expensive makeup. he wants to shoot himself in the foot when you gradually start to hyperventilate. the failed breathing exercises you were trying to do. you usually come to him. he usually calms you down. you usually place your ear to his chest, listening to his heart beat until yours syncs with his.

his hands itch to hold you. to squeeze you in his burly arms to ground you until your sniffles slow and your hiccups quiet down, but he knows he doesn't have the privilege anymore.

and before he knows it, your out the door. you stutter and blubber your last words, but he manages to figure out what you're saying:

don't call you. don't text you. don't try and contact you. he's just like the rest. that you should have known better. that you thought he was better. that your just a fool for thinking otherwise.

and then your gone, the only relief he has is that you got an uber. lord knows your not in the right headspace to drive all the way home.

──────────────────

the phone on his bedside table wouldn't stop ringing.

his unrestful sleep shattered as he shifts under the covers. he groaned in annoyance, kicking off his duvet. he rolled over as his hand fumbled in the dark–knocking off empty cups of noodle pots and snacks before picking up the light, rectangle shaped object. his thumb sluggishly taps on the green button, not even looking to see who it is before pressing it to his ear, answering with a hoarse and confused, 'hello?'

he immediately recognised sendo's voice, and the overlapping voices of his teammates in the background.

"captain, what the hell have you been up to? you've been ghost for days. we have a match soon and the teams in disarray without you."

oliver can hear the frustration and worry in his best friends voice, and he runs a hand down his face, because what was he meant say? was he meant to say that he's a piece of shit, that–

"–you fucked up didn't you?" sendo's voice was soft, almost as if he had known what oliver was thinking in the moment. he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and the silence is filled with sendo sighing heavily on the other side of the phone.

"whatever you did, whatever she's found out, you've broken her. saw her the other day, actually."

oliver's heart skipped a beat, and he sits up straight in bed, listening and concentrating like never before.

──────────────────

{a few days prior.}

you had hoped that you wouldn't see anyone you knew. not like this, anyway.

you stared blankly at the shelfs of cup noodles in front of you, wondering deeply which one your stomach would allow to keep down. your limbs felt stiff from the days spent curled up, not moving unless it was for hygiene or to eat. you hadn't bothered to change, still wearing the matching baggy grey clothes from yesterday.

when you finally stop procrastinating and reach out to put a few noodle cups in your basket, you hear a familiar voice call your name.

your hand freezes where it began to reach out, your heart beat beginning to sharply beat harder then ever in your chest. you should have put your damn hood up.

you try and muster the most natural smile you could, looking up to the figure that had stopped beside you. your smile falters as you see the familiar salmon hair. its sendo, one of oliver's teammates and best friend. his own friendly smile drops when he sees your face. you looked so...miserable. your once sparkly eyes looked so dulled, the bags under them only convincing him of the lack of sleep you've endured. your cheeks were still stained with dry streaks of tears, your nose red and scrunched sore with every sniffle you took.

"uh-hi....." your voice sounds wobbly and frail, and you wince internally.

"hey-{name}, you okay? you look like you've been..." his words trial off as he looks up and down, biting his lip as if to stop himself from being insensitive. "you look–upset, is everything alright?"

your eyes dart away from his pity–filled ones, instead distracting yourself by playing with the sleeve of your hoodie holding the basket.

you don't answer him for a moment. your eyebrow twitching and your lips pressing firmly together in discomfort and irritation. because what where you supposed to say? that everything, was alright? because it wasn't–your anger, pain and heartbreak was like a wound that never stopped bleeding. that never stopped draining. even if it slowed down, even if it wasn't a huge gush, it still ebbed between your fingers, leaving their stains.

and his best friend was the cause of it.

"why don't you go and ask your, 'best friend'–maybe he'll give you an answer–or maybe an another one of his stupid fucking excuses."

you didn't mean to be so mean. you didn't mean to have your words so filled with distain–but it was like all the negative emotions spewed out like venom. even with the aggressive tone, sendo found it hard to not notice the quiver in your lips, the hurt in your features as you turned away from him, hastily walking off.

"wait!–do you know if Aiku's okay? he's been ghost for the past few days and the whole teams worried."

you stopped as for a moment, as you absorbed his words. was oliver just as affected as you were?

you shook your head. no. it doesn't matter how much despair he's feeling. he dug his grave and now he has to lie in it.

you don't answer sendo's question, instead just picking up the pace until you turned the corner, breaking out in a jog. ignoring his protests for you to wait, to come back, to talk to him.

you didn't want anything to do with oliver aiku. not anymore.

Quandaledlngle69 © 2025

・. ★ Credit for divider.ᐟ; @.florescita

[generational-atrophy]

OMG! I WAS LOOKING THROUGH UR BLOG CUZ MY HETALIA PHASE IS BACK AND WAS LIKE "I LOVE THIS WRITER SM WHERE ARE THEY" AND BOOM!

So request, if that's okay, the main 8 with a reader who cries during confrontations and or arguments. An imagine where ofc the main 8 says something hurtful and reader just covers their ears because 1.) Ears do be sensitive and 2.) It causes them to shut down completely

Can we know how they'd handle it plus how it'd go? Ty 💜

hetalia main 8 saying something they regret in an argument

2.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: they say hurtful things, and are kind of assholes in general lol

America - Alfred F. Jones

“I’m better than this. Why’d I keep someone as seriously uncool as you around?!”

Even as you immediately begin turning away from him, curling into yourself for comfort, Alfred would be less than sympathetic. If you’d ever doubted how self-centred he could be, this was more than enough evidence to prove it.

“What? What- just- don’t do that! You’re the one who started this!”

It’s unlikely he’d let up even after the tears start. He’s really that callous when he feels hurt. After a few tense minutes of silence broken only by your quiet whimpering, he’d start tearing up too. Not from guilt, seeing how much he hurt you. But instead from how he’s only now realizing he has to put his own feelings aside to take care of yours.

He’d approach you like a rabid animal, a lump stuck in his throat as he tries to say anything to get you talking again.

“Listen, it’s uh- not that serious. I’m sorry, ok? Let’s just… like- do something else?”

His comforting consists mostly of trying to get you out of your own head. Once it’s been long enough that you’re less scared, he’d take your hands away from your ears gently and kiss your cheek. If you’re sensitive to other things, he’d wrap his jacket around your shoulders and turn off the lights until you’re up and talking again.

“See? Not that hard, just like I said. Good job, babe…  let’s just keep going like this, yeah?”

Somewhere, past all of the self-absorption and pride, he does have a heart. And that heart will immediately take you out to get ice cream. It’d take him a while to admit fault (and I mean real responsibility, not just his usual “sorry not sorry, move on,” schtick,) but maybe once your tear stains have dried, he’d realize what an ass he’d been.

England - Arthur Kirkland

“G*d, you’re pissing me off already! Just- fuck- get out of here if you hate us so much!”

Like usual. He’s desperate to just leave as soon as there’s conflict. It may be annoying, but at least he’s only doing it because he knows how awful he is when frustrated. 

If you don’t take up his offer to abandon the conversation, he will. You’d have to be seriously struggling to keep him with you in that moment.

“Trust me, everything will be much, much worse if I stay…”

He’s always acting like that. It’s like his conscience disappears when he speaks, but only returns when he’s already said the hurtful thing. Never taking responsibility, always panicking and leaving just as your tears start to fall.

But, the more you tell him how much that hurts, the more he might be willing to stay.

It’ll take him a while to be able to choke out a cowardly “sorry,” but at least he’ll stop trying to push you away at every occasion.

“Wait- don’t cry so much love, I’m- I… I didn’t mean it. Ok? Is that better?”

It’s impossible for him to keep arguing once you’re truly upset. Instead, he’ll take you by the hand to the kitchen so he can start making tea for the two of you. In that silence, he encourages you to speak whatever awful thoughts you’re repeating to yourself. He’s just trying to get you in a comfortable environment again at that point.

Quiet affirmations are the only things he’ll bring, looking at you sympathetically and still holding your hand tight while you talk about whatever you want to. Whether that be something completely random, insults towards him, or actual constructive discussion is up to you.

At the end of the night, he’ll apologize. Not well, mind you, but enough to dissuade you from whatever hurt you earlier. All that matters to him is that you don’t go to bed upset.

“I’ll do better next time… or- I mean- I’ll do my best to… not be like that… again. Promise.”

France - Francois Bonnefoy

“But is it that impossible for you to put in some effort? It’s just… embarrassing to be with you right now!”

He’s always been a fighter for sport. When he argues with you, it’s not to prove a point. It’s probably not about anything he actually cares about either. He honestly just does it for fun. To him, arguing is how you really get to know someone.

So when you take his words to heart and, in the worst case, start crying, he just really doesn’t know what to do.

“Merde, darling, you know I wasn’t being serious! Come on now, don’t take it so personally…”

He may grumble about how he didn’t want you to get so upset, but at least he’ll still calm down and quit pushing you. Whatever tension there was before will dissipate as soon as he sighs, making his way over to you and wrapping you in his embrace. Unless that makes you even more uncomfortable, in which case he’ll just grab your favourite blanket and gently drape it over your shoulders.

“I am so sorry I made you so upset, I really didn’t mean it. You’re wonderful to me, always so stunning!”

For as long as you need him to, he’ll apologize over and over again, playing with your hair and wiping away your tears as delicately as he can manage. He may be just as upset as you are when he realizes what he did, but he’s shockingly good at compartmentalizing that when you need support.

But, if you focus too much on how he hurt you, he might start crying too. He can’t help it. Ignore him.

Either way, he’s there to hold you and validate you in whatever you might be feeling at that moment. Be as irrational as you need to be,  he understands the urge well. And either way, he’ll just nod along to anything you say and insist it’s everyone else's fault. Including his, unlike basically every other man.

“How can you expect to survive when you hold all of this in? Please, always come to me even with small things, we share everything as lovers, yes? I cannot bear to see you as upset as this…”

China - Yao Wang

“Can’t you act your age? How do you expect anyone to put up with you like this?!”

As soon he says it, he knows that was an awful thing to say. He doesn’t need you to tell him, he can tell just by your expression that it was too far. You didn’t deserve that, he told himself.

But that doesn’t mean his ego is gonna let him give in so easily. Even if he was an ass, he still can’t let himself give up “authority” in a fight.

“Agh- that’s not… its not what I mean to say, alright?! So just… pretend I did not….”

If you quit fighting, instead becoming more upset, he’ll really struggle to calm down instead. Like, yes, he knows he should be trying to make you feel better, but that’s- he just doesn’t want to! He entered this fight with a purpose, and just because you’re crying doesn’t make that purpose any less important!

“Why won’t you argue back?! Aiyah, I knew you were childish but-”

Then he cuts himself off. Does he want to be the bigger person and apologize? No. But will he do it if you stop crying? Yes.

He’ll rest a hand on your arm and suggest in the gentlest voice possible that the two of you should go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air will help both of you clear your heads. He doesn’t know what must’ve happened to him to make him say all of those things either.

“I don’t think those thoughts, tiánxīn. I’m sorry I said it, I was upset but… I still should have known better.”

For as quickly as he’s willing to take responsibility, he’s not as much good at the “getting you out of breakdown” stage. Hopefully, you’ve already communicated with him about that so he knows to stop being so loud and trying to touch you. He’ll do whatever you request of him, but what’s best for you in that moment is probably not his first instinct.

“I’m sorry I was being such a huge ass. I love you, I promise.”

Russia - Ivan Braginsky

“You think you are special? I can beat sense into you just like I can them!”

Good luck getting him to understand that you can’t just threaten people within the next few hours. It will not work. When he’s angry, he really doesn’t care about feelings. Just about getting you to cooperate with whatever he says.

He may usually think of both of you as equals, but when you start seriously challenging his authority while he’s in a bad mood, it’s impossible for him to not be cruel. It’s always just better to leave than let him spiral and hurt both of you in the process

Although, he (obviously) would never actually put his hands on you. He just acts like a big baby and’ll stomp his feet and tell you whatever will get the most reaction out of you.

“Любимый, won’t you come out? I’m very sorry, I promise… can’t we just talk?”

But if you do remove yourself from the situation, he would never chase after you and force you to keep being in that awful environment. He knows better than that at least.

The moment you turn away and refuse to engage with his childishness, he’s already planning how to get you to forgive him. For as callous as it seems, your disapproval hurts him more than anything else. He would come to you on his knees, snivelling and pleading,  if that was what he had to do just for you to look at him again

The moment you let him in though, he just rushes over and captures you in his arms. He would dry your tears as gently as he could, treating you like you were made of glass.

“Куколка, куколка, you know I never mean any of that, right? I’m sorry, sorry, please- please, forgive me? If I kiss it better, will you forgive me, любимый?”

He’s so pathetic. Ask anything of him in this state and he’ll do it without hesitation. Unless it’s staying away physically. He’ll be quiet and let you ignore him but don’t try to push him away or he’ll get whiney. If you stress that it isn’t personal enough, maybe he’ll let it go though.

North Italy - Feliciano Vargas

“Why aren’t I good enough? You always abandon me, like-  like I’m nothing! Why do you hate me!?”

The moment either of you pick a fight, he’s already sobbing. Sure, he can argue with his brother for hours, but you matter to him in a much more vulnerable way. If you’re at all upset with him, he instantly feels like you don’t like him any more.

But when he feels attacked, he attacks just as much. In his subconscious, it’s always easier to push you away than have you abandon him yourself. That doesn’t result in very productive conversations, though.

“You’re just pretending you love me! You’re a liar, I- I know it!”

When you start crying along with him from all the awful things he’s said, two things can happen.

One, he cries harder, interpreting your hurt feelings as being an admittance to what he accused you of. Why would you be crying if it wasn’t from guilt, and why’d he say that when he so dreaded it being true?!

Or two, you’ll tell him about how truly terrible it feels to have him think those things about you, and he’ll snap out of it. His overwhelming emotions make him incredibly selfish at the moment, so he truly hadn’t considered how you felt from all of that.

Then he immediately lowers his voice, giving you plenty of space until you feel up to talking again. 

“Oh… I’m sorry! I didn’t- you wouldn’t do that! I know that, you know that, so just- I’m sorry! Please, forgive me, amore mio dolce!”

He pulls you into a hug immediately, keeping the two of you as close as physically possible as he whispers promise after promise of his love. Until your tears dry, he won’t stop strangling you with unabashed affection, doing anything he can just to get you smiling again.

The feeling of guilt is not something he’s used to. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he’ll start crying again too.

“If I ever make you feel bad again, please shut me up, please! I can’t take the thought of you so hurt by my words!”

Germany - Ludwig Beilschmidt

“My word should be more than enough for you to shut up already!”

It’s exceedingly rare that he ever loses his temper around you like that. Normally, you’re the one thing that can always calm him down. Just looking at your face makes his chest fill with butterflies, drowning out whatever dark thoughts he’s having.

So, needless to say, he immediately regrets snapping at you. Immediately.

“Wait, no- no, I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean to. It’s not true, just- just stupid, I’m sorry, liebling…”

Whatever you two were arguing about is instantly forgotten as he rushes over to you and takes your face in his hands. It just breaks his heart to see you hurt, much more at his own actions. You don’t have to worry about him taking responsibility, he would never try to dodge the guilt of making you cry.

It’s not the first time he’s lost control, and he knows it’s his fault. But maybe if he takes you in his arms gently enough, rocking you back and forth as you cry into his shoulder, it’ll make it a little easier for you.

But if you just need a silent moment to yourself, that’s perfectly fine too. He’s autistic, so he certainly understands the feeling and will happily provide you with whatever comforting items you request.

“I’m sorry… you didn’t deserve what I said. I love you, please tell me you know that…”

Even if you pretend you weren’t that upset by it, Ludwig wouldn’t let it go like that. If he gets to his breaking point like that, whatever fight you were having is put aside for the night. Now all that matters to him is that the two of you make up and get back into how things were before as soon as possible.

Expect him to be beating himself up for a while though. He just wants you to know how sorry he is, how much he regrets snapping at you, even if it does seem a bit excessive. But he’s just had too many people he cared about leave to not make a whole thing out of it.

Japan - Kiku Honda

“Don’t you have any sense of personal space? You are like- choking me with all of… you! I can’t stand it!”

He’s a logical man. That’s one thing he always tells himself. Never, not even when he’s emotional, does he say things he doesn’t mean. Was the way he said it less than perfect? Yes, of course, he can’t believe he had just acted so impolitely, especially to someone who he cares so much for. But he still… meant what he said.

But, for the first time, as he watches your face break slowly, he’s not so sure of himself. Whether he meant it or not seems suddenly so inconsequential compared to the thought of hurting you. He… upset you? That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Ah- why are you crying? What is wrong? You… you- it will be… alright, you know? You are ok!”

Wait- no, don’t cry more from that! He has absolutely no idea how to comfort you, but if he really has to, he’ll do his best. Although it’s a little difficult for him to resist drawing your hands away from your ears, he’ll do his best to just let you have your process (no matter what that means for you.)

Before you can even hear him coming closer, you’re suddenly drawn into an intimate hug. His hand drawing your head underneath his and kissing the crown of your head so lovingly, it's almost like another person possessed him as he turns so soft just at the sight of your tears

Would his pride usually reject this? Yes, but, it’s certainly not the first time he’s had to put that aside for you.

He’ll sputter generic apologies, purposefully hiding his grimace as he forces himself to forget about whatever you two were arguing about before. Well, at least for now. Most likely he’ll bring it up not long after, but in a much more… non-confrontational way.

“Let us go do something else instead, hm? You’ll only get more upset like this, and I want that as little as you want it.”

On one hand, he’s a little annoyed he had to put aside his own gripes to calm you down. But on the other hand, he hates conflict. Anything that gets you guys back to normal is worth it, especially if otherwise you’ll be crying in his arms. That’s his absolute nightmare.

[pippin-katz]

So, you know how Edwin screams for Charles as he’s being dragged back to Hell? Because he’s scared?

I was thinking about why, and it’s obvious. No big brain moment here. Someone you care about, who you know cares about you in return, brings even the smallest amount of comfort in situations where you are scared. They make you feel safe, so when you’re in danger you want them near you.

Edwin screams for him while being dragged away to Hell, and calls to him when he’s strapped into Esther’s device before the torture starts.

Yeah, we already know that, but I noticed something yesterday.

When you’re thinking about the show in general, Charles is the one who does the physical rescuing and protecting. Edwin’s best way of doing that is to make sure nothing goes awry so Charles won’t have to rescue someone. He prevents the danger from happening the best he can, while Charles charges at the danger if he has to. Edwin actually calling to Charles for help more makes sense given how their methods of helping each other differ.

But yesterday, I was working on something, and I like to listen to the show in the background sometimes (gotta boost those numbers for my boys ✌🏻). I can typically finish the whole show in a day cause it’s not long, so I started it at the beginning.

While listening to them tussling with the WWI ghost, obviously Charles yells, “Edwin! Hurry the fuck up!”

It’s an instruction and emphasis of the urgency and the need for speed in this situation. Telling someone to hurry up is used in all sorts of contexts, serious and unserious. You might say it with frustration if you were trying meet a deadline with a partner, or angrily while playing some video game that has timers, or with concern if you were waiting for important updates on the conditions of an injured friend.

Charles is a combination of them because the situation has been getting out of hand and he can’t do anything about it. He needs Edwin to cast the spell to break the curse.

But it’s while Edwin is saying the spell that Charles yells just his name. It had always created a feeling in my chest, but I couldn’t pinpoint it.

Listening to it with headphones (multiple times) and while not being distracted by the visuals allowed my brain to focus on just the voices, and how I felt while listening to them. I’ve listened it so many times over the last month, and I finally managed to fully figure it out!

The roughness in his voice from yelling so loud. The desperation that seeps into it. The way he enunciates his name, stress on and the pitch raising on the second syllable, similar to the way you'd ask a question, when the stress is usually on the first syllable, and the pitch usually goes down.

This is maybe the only time in the entire series where Charles sounds scared (excluding flashbacks). I don’t mean the “worried about someone” type of scared; we get to hear that a couple times, mostly when Edwin is taken back to Hell.

But no, here he is scared for himself.

He’s gotten thrown around. He’s gotten choked. He’s gotten knocked onto the ground on his back, being pinned down by a malevolent ghost of a soldier, who also has a knife and is very much trying to stab him right now.

Charles has done everything he can. Now, he just needs to not get hurt until Edwin breaks the curse. But that’s easier said than done when your opponent has basically every advantage. He’s struggling! He has been struggling! And now he's about to be stabbed!

He yells to Edwin because he’s scared, and he knows Edwin will do everything in his power to protect him in a dangerous situation, just as Charles would for him. It’s cry for help instead of an instruction.

But it's also a reassuring gesture for himself. Edwin is there. He trusts Edwin. Edwin is his safety. He has been since he met him in the attic, and became the first person in a very long time, maybe ever, to show so much care, and protectiveness toward him, after everyone in his life had hurt him or had watched him be hurt and did nothing. Edwin won’t let anything happen to him. Edwin is going to save him. And he believes it despite his fear, and Edwin does!

His means of doing so look very different from Charles’, but it’s through breaking the curse that he’ll save Charles rather than trying to fight the ghost off of him. That won’t work. Edwin can’t physically do that, and it wouldn’t stop the ghost from continuing to attack them. So despite him being several feet away casting a spell instead of running to Charles, he is protecting and saving him. And Charles knows that too.

It creates a weird fuzzy feeling in my chest to know that Edwin is the person Charles thinks of when he's scared. It's obvious that Edwin sees Charles as safety, so it feels rarer to see the opposite on display. They are each other's safety, and that is fucking special.

(ko-fi)

[insomniadreamzz]

Is this real?

Arcane Alternate Ending Fanfiction

Contains Jinx x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, angst

Jinx can still remember the moment that made her heart shatter and the little glimpse of happiness in her fade away forever. You were about to help Vander with Victors help but the Noxians had to destroy your hope of a family reunion. The moment Isha grabbed Jinx‘s gun, rushing towards Vander and aiming to shoot, you running after the girl, knowing she meant so much to Jinx but then there was the explosion and Vi dragged her sister Jinx away from the explosion, wanting to save her.

The explosion was the last thing she remembered before everything went down. Jinx had lost the two people she truly loved and who gave her happiness for once. Now it was all gone and she couldn’t help but blame herself for this. She should have saved you and not letting Vi drag her away but all she could do in that moment was scream your name and scream for Isha. There was no point for her to keep going. Jinx gave up, letting the Enforcers put her into jail for everything she did in the past, paying for all her crimes. Being alone in that cold cell without shoes, without her belt weapons, it made her feeling lost. The silence was very loud, Jinx started hearing voices again, getting back to her old behavior since the two persons who silenced them are gone now.

She fumbled with her braids until she undid them fully, her long blue hair spread across the floor, fingers bloody by the non stop pinching on the skin around her nails. As if that wasn’t enough, Jinx even starved herself. The food wasn’t even disgusting at all, it was good compared to what you would get down in Zaun but Jinx had to will to live at this point anymore, spending the time sitting curled up in the corner, hurting herself and crying a lot until there were no tears left to cry anymore.

…

„Come on you can do this!“ You said as you carried the little figure in your arms, Isha’s and your own clothes being smeared with blood as you rushed home. You didn’t know what happened to the others, you only knew they weren’t here. Jinx wasn’t here. This didn’t matter right now, you had to focus on taking care of the girls wounds first and then think about finding Jinx.

Isha had a wound on her head and stomach but she wasn’t the only one being hurt. Since you tried to get the gun away from the little girls hands, the explosion damaged your hand. All that was left on your left hand now was only your thumb and ring finger, all the other three fingers got damaged too much, your small finger got blown off completely whily your index and middle finger got halfway blown off. These conditions you were in made it hard for you to take care of Isha’s wounds since you needed two hands. „Fuck!…“ You grumbled under your breath, ignoring your own pain as you focused on cleaning Isha’s wounds with your right hand.

„May I help you?“ A familiar voice echoed through Jinx’s hideout, it wasn’t your lover but someone you knew you could trust.

„Sevika!“ You shouted, tears in your eyes as you saw the older woman getting close to you. It was really her.

„Damn kiddo I know the feeling of losing limbs caused by explosions.“ She continued as she looked down on your left hand, making a hurtful expression, scrunching up her nose, knowing the pain.

„It don’t matter. Please take care of Isha first. I can use my right hand to stop the bleeding until you can help me wrap it up okay?“ You mentioned and Sevika just nodded, taking care of Isha‘s wounds. „Youre lucky. Her wounds aren‘t that deep but I guess she fainted from the shock which is understandable for a little girl.“ Sevika mumbled under her breath, soon finished cleaning the little wounds and wrapping them up before putting a blanket over her little body, then she focused on your wound.

You hissed every time the cloth with alcohol hit your wound, the stinging pain making you want to scream but you kept yourself back from that. It took Sevika a little time to wrap the bandages tight enough your hand so the blood will stop running, it hurt you but you knew it’s only for your own good. „Damn you really saved a life. I am proud of you.“ Your eyes widen at hearing Sevika saying this. You expected anything but that. „Thank you…I just couldn’t let this happen…but I need to find Jinx.“ You said and Sevika gave you a understanding nod. „Please take a rest. If not for yourself do it for Isha because she needs the rest. Then you can find Jinx.“

You weren’t satisfied with that, knowing Jinx was very unstable and might do something, you can’t let her think you are dead. „No Sevika I am losing time. Please stay here with Isha I beg you. Take care of her until I come back and I promise I will take Jinx with me.“ You insisted and Sevika just nodded in response with her arms crossed. „Fine but take care of you kiddo.“

…

Jinx heard footsteps getting closer, thinking it was just one of her hallucinations or a guard. She didn’t even care to look, keeping her head buried into her arms that rested on her knees. The only thing causing her head to snap up was your voice.

You felt your eyes water at the sight of Jinx being in there, all alone on the cold floor. It broke your heart. „Jinx…?“ You carefully said, her head snapping up to look at you, eyes wide, her dark makeup all messy under her eyes. She looked like she cried for days and you know she didn’t just look like it, she did cry for days.

„Stop…n-no. No you are not real.“ Jinx panicked, she already had a hallucination of Silco before and now you? No way she couldn’t take it. „Go away! I beg you get out of my head. I can’t do this anymore!“ She held her head, hands grabbing a fist full of her own hair as she shook her head, body shaking in fear.

„Hey…it is me. I am real. I know you think I died but I am alive, I am not dead.“ You tried to explain but Jinx clearly shut down. It was impossible to get through her like that so you used the keys Vi gave you and opened the door to her cell. Stepping inside, you saw Jinx looking up with fear at you which made your heart ache but you already knew her in that state so you did what you always do, being calm as you crouched down in front of her. „I will give you time. Just calm down…“ You said with a low, calm voice.

Jinx muttered something to herself, not really audible for you but you didn’t mind, staying there until she noticed you weren’t going to leave, making her slowly look into your eyes and then look down at your damaged hand. „You…are hurt…“ She mumbled and you gave her a little sad smile, nodding. „Yeah…the explosion caused it. I am sorry you thought we are dead. I wished I could find you earlier but…I needed to take care of Isha.“ You told her and when you mentioned Isha, Jinx‘s eyes widened. „Isha! Is she…?“ You interrupted Jinx with a smile. „Isha is alive.“ With that, Jinx cried but this time out of happiness as she leaned forward to hug you so tight, her fingers clutching onto you as if she was scared you would slip out of her hands. „God! I was so scared…“

You hugged her back, keeping your love as close as possible. „It’s okay Jinx…it’s all okay. Isha is with Sevika she is taking care of her while I went to search for you.“ You reassured her, happy tears running down your cheeks as well.

You kept staying in each other’s arms for a while before she pulled back, cupping your cheeks to admire you. „It is really you. You are real. You are not just in my mind right?“ Jinx was still not fully believing this. You out your hands on hers, keeping on smiling at her. „Of course it’s me. The real me.“ You said once again and there it was again, the happy spark in her eyes before she crushed her lips against yours, kissing you so deeply. You immediately kissed back and both of you shared a loving, deep kiss, never wanting to part again.

…

It wasn’t over yet. Jinx and you spend a lot of time preparing for the last fight after you got her out of jail. She was ready to use her knowledge for building things for good. After Jinx made sure to see Isha again, she got even more motivated. Her happiness came back again after the emotional reunion, having Isha back into her arms again, seeing she was doing well except the little scratches on her body. Thanks to you, she survived and all three of you were together now and Jinx swore to herself she won’t ever let anything part you.

Jinx made you mechanic fingers just like she had which was, like she said ‚something she can fix‘. And you loved them. You adored how much she wanted to help you and do good things, not only building weapons to kill.

„Now it’s time to kick some Noxian asses don’t you think babe?“ You heard Jinx‘s voice, turning from painting the last things on the balloon which will help this whole old fan to fly. When you looked at Jinx, your eyes widen. She literally cut her hair short, only her long bangs being left of her old hairstyle, you immediately noticed the little pink colour in them, referring to Vi. „Wow someone really want to change things up huh?“ You chuckle, loving to see your girlfriend like that, she looked perfect to you no matter which hairstyle.

„Yep! But we need to make some more changes.“ Jinx said with her usual cheery voice before she ripped your shirt, making a crop top out if it. „Wha-…“ You started to complain but she cut you off with a little kiss on your lips. „No talking toots! We need to focus.“ She said before taking off her own shirt, replacing it with her belt to cover her nipples and part of her breasts, leaving you speechless.

„No way you gonna look this sexy in front of Isha.“ You managed to say but the blush on your face told her you really liked the view and wanted to eat her and kiss all over her body but there was no time for it.

„Ah fine.“ Jinx was easy to convince which was a surprise but you didn’t mind. Instead you wrapped a bandage around her chest before spraying a pink ‚x‘ on it, smiling satisfied at your work. „There better.“ You mentioned and with that you brought her to another idea. You both ended up chuckling as you painted on each other’s bodies and clothes, leaving kisses every now and then. It was a beautiful intimate moment you shared, something that meaned even more than sex. It was just beautiful.

When both of you were finished with your little doodles on each other and making matching hoods for each other that looked like a shark which was her favorite, you finally were done to help the others getting rid of the Noxians which caused enough trouble between Piltover and Zaun like you already had.

„Are you ready my love?“ You asked and Jinx smiled with a nod before pecking your cheek. „Yes I am and I won’t let you out of my sight, we either win or die together.“ Jinx said but you shook your head. „We will live together. Both of us will stay alive I promise that.“ You stated, squeezing your lovers hand gently.

You were so ready for this.

[winchester-24]

Imagine Sam having to choose between you and Ruby.

These past few months have been a test of your relationship, to say the least, with the younger Winchester. While you and Dean were on the same page, not wanting to trust a demon, Sam, for whatever reason, had a soft spot for her. You never got a good feeling from her. While Dean backed you up and said you were being sensible, Ruby would claim you were just jealous about another woman being around. Even though Sam would try to appease both sides initially, he would always take Ruby’s side, saying she was just here to help.

While she did helpful things for the three of you, it never shook you that she had an ulterior motive. At first, she would be around occasionally. She would be around with anything demon-related but would leave right after that. In any other case the three of you took, she wasn’t there. Then she started hanging around after interrogating demons; she would pop up after you three finished a hunt until it was the point that she was around almost, if not every day. It wouldn’t be as bad if she didn’t want to spend every moment with your boyfriend. The only time it seemed that you would get to see him was when you two would go to bed together.

You would voice your concerns to Sam at night when it was just you two, and he would listen, be understanding, and try to reassure you as much as you could. He would kiss on you and declare his love for you. He would tell you that he would be better with spending time with you during the day, and you would feel better- for that night. The next day, it would be the same story, a different day. You had no idea what hold Ruby had on Sam, but it was starting to piss you off.

One night, you couldn’t hold it anymore, so you let Sam have it. You let out all of your frustrations and vented your anger, hurt, and need for him to look at what she is doing. This caused a drastic fight between you and him. Dean, being only a room over, heard it and came to your rescue to defend you and try to show Sam how delusional he was starting to become. Sam stormed out that night and did not return until early that morning, smelling like a bar.

After two days of pettiness and sass, you two made up, much to Ruby’s displeasure. You made a point after the argument that you were there wherever Sam and Ruby were together. It didn’t matter if they were in the hotel room, a diner, or wherever they were; you were right there. It was pissing Ruby off. You would smugly hold Sam’s hand as she glared at you, and you would blow kisses to her, taunting her, challenging her to question Sam about you being there.

Unfortunately, the climax of your relationship hit once it was uncovered that Ruby could not get Dean out of his deal. The hurt and betrayal felt was expected but still stung. You knew you shouldn’t have trusted a demon, but a part of you hoped that you wouldn’t have to experience someone that was like your brother’s death on top of the love of your life having to go through that grief. The days following Dean’s death were rough. For the first few days, Sam and you would hold onto each other and cry, sleep, drink, and repeat. While not healthy, you and Sam had each other and would tell each other that you had one another; you guys would get through this together. However, there was a particular demon that was still sticking around.

After the first week, Ruby was still there trying to comfort Sam, not you, but only Sam. Your grief turned to anger, and you started a fight.

“Why the fuck are you even still here? You told us that you could get Dean out of his deal, and you couldn’t even fucking do that. Dean is gone; your purpose here is done. Let us grieve in peace and go find someone else to fuck over.” You snapped as she once again tried to hug Sam to comfort him. Ruby turned around, glaring at you.

“While you have been too busy living in your pathetic, sad girl world, I have been formulating a plan to get back at Lilith for Dean being sent to Hell. While I could not save Dean, I can at least help Sam get the revenge on the one who deserves it.”

“Hell no. You don’t get to be anywhere near Sam after all the shit you have put him and the rest of us through. We can figure it out on our own without your stuck-up, no good, nothing attitude around us.” Sam walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Hey, I know we are all upset right now, but let's calm down for a second and hear what the plan is, hmm? Do you think that’s possible?” You glared up at him.

“Don’t you see what she is doing? She is tearing us apart. First, Dean, and now she is going to wedge herself between us. She is not good for you, Sam. She is not good for us. Let us figure out how to deal with Lilith on our own. We don’t need her.” Sam sighed.

“I am going to hear her out; if you don’t want to, fine, but when you are ready to seek justice for Dean, let me know.” He kissed the top of your head and then stalked out of the room. Ruby gave you a smug look and sauntered out of the room to follow Sam. You could only stand there seething.

After that, Sam started to distance himself from you. He would come to bed after you and be gone before you woke up. He and Ruby would stop talking when you entered the room, and he no longer talked to you about Dean, Lillith, the plan, or anything for that matter. He would ask how you were doing, tell you he loved you, and make casual conversation, but that’s it. You put up with this for two weeks, but after that, you had enough.

You packed a bag, all the stuff you have been traveling with, and some of the weapons and gear from the Impala you typically used. You walk into the main living room where Ruby and Sam are; as usual, they stop talking as soon as you enter the room, except Sam’s eyes widen when he sees your bag. You dropped it on the ground, and it made a thump sound and made eye contact with him.

“Listen close, Winchester, and listen well because I will only say this once. I can’t remember the last time you came to bed with me, when I woke up to you or even when I had more than a three-minute conversation with you. You are keeping secrets from me, and if that isn’t bad enough, you are keeping secrets from me with a Demon, in case you forgot that is what she is. We are no closer to finding a way to get Dean back or kill Lillith unless we are, and you just don’t want to tell me. However, all I know is all our problems started when that bitch walked into our lives. So now you have a choice. You can continue this little scheme with a demon, the one who has lied to us and used us; you and her can talk and hang out all you want. You can even kiss her and fuck her if you haven’t already because let's be honest, I don’t even know where you are most of the time anymore,” Tears start to form in your eyes, but your voice doesn’t falter; Sam is standing up at this point but not moving towards you.

“or you can come with me. You can grab your things; we can leave in the Impala and put her behind us. I won’t ask questions, I won’t be mad, it will just be me and you and the bitch that has brought this on us,” You take a moment to glare at Ruby, who is already glaring at you, before looking back at Sam, “will be forgotten. I don’t want to throw away the years we have been together, Sam, but I refuse to compete with a demon when I am already yours. You can’t have both of us, so you must pick one.” Sam’s eyes are glossy, and he is trying to hold back tears. He takes a step towards you, but you take a step back. If you let Sam touch you, it is a guaranteed fold, and you will still be stuck here playing the third wheel with your own boyfriend. Sam stops moving but starts speaking softly.

“I’m sorry I have been keeping things from you; that is my fault. I have been distant, but it isn’t because I love you any less, because Y/N, I love you so much. Ruby has a plan. We have been working on it together, which takes a lot of time and effort. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, but I am doing this for us- for Dean. You have to believe me on that. I would never want to hurt you, but this plan that Ruby has will work; I need the time to figure it out together.” Your heart sinks as, once again, he is defending what she is doing.

“She said her plan for Dean would work too, Sam, and look at where that got us. I don’t trust her. I don’t know what this plan is, but it’s not a good one, and it's leading you down a dark path. What I still say stands- me or her. Who is more important to you, Sam.” One tear falls down your face as your boyfriend doesn’t immediately answer. He shakes his head.

“Please don’t make me choose.” He says finally, voice cracking. You sigh, shake your head, and grab your bag.

“It sounds like you already did. I will figure out how to get Dean out on my own. Have fun with your new demon girlfriend.” You walk towards the door, hoping Sam will at least grab your wrist and stop you try to convince you to stay, anything. However, when you get to the door and open it, you turn to look back at Sam and he is still standing in the same place, but now Ruby is standing beside him, hand on his shoulder as she is also looking at you walk out the door- except she has a slight smile on her face. You scoff,

“Seems like she has a deeper root on you than either of us realized, huh, Sammy?” You say before walking through the door and closing it behind you, along with the life you had with Sam. More tears fell down your face as you started walking away from the motel room you guys were in for the week. You allowed yourself to cry for a few minutes before wiping your tears away.

You had to save Dean. You had to make a plan.

But most importantly, you had to call Bobby for a ride.

[instability1]

so I caught up on TPOT/BFDI

oh gawdddddd I have to talk about Black Hole. My beloved. My shayla

First of all, Black Hole was my favorite character the moment he got introduced in BFB. He's exactly the type I gravitate (har har) towards; monochromatic, mysterious, intriguing lore or origins. See Nightmarionne from fnaf or Ranboo from you know. So there's that.

Next, his personality. A bit plain in BFB, I'll admit, but those glimpses we get into his beliefs with Death P.A.C.T are so interesting. I was already under the impression he hated how easy it was for him to kill/destroy, a fundamental opposite to his nature. He's a black hole. Destruction is basically all they can do, so his desire to go against that had me invested. TPOT only expanded on this further and ohhhh I cannot say how much I'm grateful for that.

TPOT 7-9 had fantastic setup. His argument with Fanny and the way his commitment to the pact is framed as so obsessive that it serves as a detriment to his team and others around him? The way that concept acts as an introduction to his full reasoning? Damn. I applaud all the writers for TPOT because I haven't been invested in a character like this in such a long time. You could practically feel the pain within him when Fanny causes him to kill Tree and how betrayed he felt. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be forced to do something you so adamantly hate by someone you thought you could trust. To unintentially give in to the nature (albeit very breifly) that you've tried so hard to oppose. Man. Oh man. The setup for 10 is amazing. And speaking of 10...

I. FUCKING. LOVE. TPOT 10. Everything about Oneirophobe's Nightmare had me SCREAMING (internally, but still). To start, I love the title, so clever. The reference to Insectophobe, the play on words, One (we don't talk about One), all of it. But Black Hole's nightmare. It's just *sniff*... so beautiful *sniff snoof.* I'm so glad they utilized stuff about black holes because there are so many interesting things you can do (TPOT 15 *cough*) and this just takes the cake. If Black Hole didn't value the pact, if he didn't value life itself, if he gave into his nature, everything would be gone. He'd be alone in a empty void for the rest of his life. Everything, everyone he loved would be dead. Black Hole's die too, but onky after an unfathomable amiunt of time. He'd never see them again. And Fanny finally being able to understand why he's felt so hurt, why he felt so betrayed was so nice. Plus, more setup? TPOT 15?

The sudden change in his personality in TPOT 15 where he's practically having a panic attack the entire time because the universe is breaking. His fear was coming to life. He isn't affected by time the same way everyone else was, so if time broke, he'd still be there. Alone. Just like if he destroyed everything himself.

AHHHHHHHHH.

Again, I applaud the writers. I hope Blsck Hole will continue to get love because oughhh if something bad happens to him I may actually cry. I bet, if the time comes, he'd sacrifice himself to save everyone. That would be... damn. That would be crazy but so him. And it would be a great culmination of everythingalready established with him.

There's so much more I want to say about this character, the series, and everything but I'll leave that for another time. Anyway, if you read this far, I appreciate you kistening to my weird ahh yap session. I love Black Hole. I love BFDI and all its iterations. I will 1000% be drawing fanart. Uhh, peace.

[voidsturn]

title: cowboy like me

pairing: crime syndicate!matt x undercover agent!reader

plot: matt, feeling betrayed by the one girl he loved, struggles with heartbreak and rage after her role in an ambush nearly destroys his family. she insists it was for the protection of his father, but matt’s trust wavers between eggshell-like hope and total loss. can they put aside their ‘differences’ and hopefully not kill each other?

trope: angst?? (i swear it started off as one), maybe hurt/comfort??, betrayal trope, forced proximity, lovers to enemies, open ending

warnings: words and mentions related to firearms and death. this is such weird timing, (matts slightly aggressive in this one folks) due the shit show caused by the recent friday video.

author’s note: ‘and the skeletons, in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up…’

also credits to anyone who has ever done anything like this. if anyone wants me to tag them, i’m fully ready to do so cause its a rlly fun pairing tbh

matt - blue | reader - pink | chris - orange | nick - purple

matt didn't have much time left. barely one half hour, before the other side would bust through the mindfully constructed door of his ‘abandoned’ cabin, in the middle of the woods. matt’s mind was scrambling more than his wounded figure. scrambling for answers while his tired and injured body hurriedly searched for guns. matt knew this would happen. trusting a girl that reminded him of himself before ‘everything’ was like knowingly falling into a bear trap. just like how the bear trap suspends it’s target in air for the entire world to judge, matt felt the same. ashamed, vulnerable and filled to the brim with pure, unadulterated rage.

matt heard his heartbeat in his goddamn head. on the verge of either passing out or drowning in a pool of his own tears, he didn't know what to choose. his pride, but most importantly his trust was just left shattered. like a few thousand, tiny pieces of an expensive glass someone purposely broke. he finally chose the latter. completely spent, matt tiredly slunk down the hardwood wall of his bedroom.

choosing to cry was easier said than done. in reality, he felt shell-shocked. replaying the last hour of one of the worst days of his life, thus carved the path for fresh, hot tears to stream down matts battered up face. the engagement was supposed to be a new beginning. it was the happiest the sturniolo family has been in years.

matt remembered his brothers. the stark difference between before and after was depressing to watch. nick was beaming. he was so happy, he finally found the love of his life and nick finally made him his. aaron, nick’s fiancé, along with nick, were decked with brown and grey suits respectively. the newly engaged couple’s childlike grins, were enough to make the saddest one in the world crack a smile. the engagement hall was big enough to fit a few hundred people, yet only the nearest and dearest to the sturniolos were present. them coupled with a few dozen guards made it seventy.

chris and matt were so stupidly happy for their beloved older brother. they kept teasing and lightly punching nick, who was getting more annoyed by the minute. after witnessing the beautiful engagement, all matt could think about was his own future with y/n. she was rough at the edges, but adored cats.

he still remembered the first time she finally smiled at him. it was after matt managed to save a stray kitten from a tree. after seeing her in that light, he made it his life’s mission to make her his. he had fallen in love and was going to tell her once she came back from the bathroom.

”chris y’know where y/n might be? i’m getting worried.” his hard headed brother was finally whipped, chris thought in his head.

thought in his head cause he was in no mood to get smacked by matt. “bro, y’need to calm the fuck down. she’ll be here.”

as if on cue, a door bust wide open. it wasn’t the bathroom door but the main door. it all happened so fucking fast. too damn fast. the horrifying sound of bullets and screams, echoed throughout the hall. the guards ate most of the bullets for dinner while some of the family got shot, a few at very critical places. the main guard, along with others, managed to whisk only nick and mark along with their parents and other cousins to safety.

chris and matt had already run off into the storage closet of the hall where chris thought a few guards were. alas, they were met with two dead and one fatally injured. they had no time to say their goodbyes while taking the nearly empty mags of three shotguns.

sounds of the huge glass chandelier falling gave the two triplets time to escape that they desperately needed. once the gunshots outside stopped, matt and chris made their getaway on some guards bike. matt and chris had been shot. grazed thankfully just on their arms and abdomen. thank the gods the other side had a couple bad shots, or the two would be bleeding to their deaths right now.

“how the fuck did they know where we were?! no one other than the people inside knew about this!” screamed chris while speeding on the bike, away from the worst ambush ever seen. matt screamed back. “i don’t fucking know! your dumbass probably told one of the girls you fucked! hang on i’m getting a call!”

“i might be dumb but i’m not a fucking idiot! i can’t fucking believe you would-” “shut up chris i can’t hear anything!” the ambush might’ve had some bad shots, but nicks phone call was a shot through the heart for matt.

nick was screaming on the other line. “your fucking girlfriend works for them! i barely saw them talking to her while i was fucking getting shot at!”

matt’s short boat ride, trip down a stormy memory river, was harshly interrupted by yelling. someone familiar was calling out his name. it didn’t create butterflies everywhere in matt’s body. not anymore. it was replaced by the urge to shoot her dead.

downstairs, y/n was yelling as if these words were the last to escape her mouth. “matt! i know you’re here! please just let me explain!” she cried, hoping it wasn’t too late. but it was. she turned around and found herself face to face with matt. y/n’s teary eyes met matt’s cold, bloodshot ones. the tension in the woody cabin was bone chilling. matt’s right hand was occupied by a pistol, aimed point-blank at y/n.

“matt-”

“just shut up y/n! just fucking shut up!” matt's loud voice boomed throughout the small living room of the two floor cabin. “i can’t fucking believe you would do this to me! i’m gonna fucking kill you!” even after saying all this, matt’s shaking hands and voice betrayed him. he didn’t really want to kill y/n, but she was the reason his entire family almost died this evening.

“matt if you could just please let me explain-”

“fuck you y/n. i’m not gonna give you time to get out of this. i fucking trusted you with my life, even if nick and chris told me not to. i knew something was up but i didn’t care. goddamnit, i fucking loved you. so much. i would’ve done anything for you-” matts tears started running their previous course on his face, yet again.

“please don’t kill me matt. just please hear me out-” y/n was terrified. she wanted to explain but she knew she really fucked up. matt was probably going to be the last one to see her… alive.

matt had had enough. he walked towards y/n and pushed her against a wall. he turned off the safety of his gun and forced it into y/n’s temple, while his left forearm was pushed against her neck, just enough to bruise. y/n didn’t fight back. “y’ wanna explain then fuckin’ explain. and do it quick cause i’m in no fuckin’ mood to ever listen to you… ever again!” with a shaky voice, y/n began her reasoning.

“i was ordered to investigate your family. your now broken relationship with the changrettas put you in a tough spot with the immunity that was granted after your father agreed to testify in that sealed murder hearing. uhm-” y/n was worried she was going to get killed for even mentioning matt’s dear father when matt was quick to push the gun further into her side to her head, all while pushing his forearm deeper into y/n’s neck, choking her. “keep going… y’fucking traitor.”

“matt- please i- can’t… breathe…” matt didn’t realise how strong of a grip he had on her neck and loosened it cause he just had to listen to her. such strong love for someone sadly can’t just vaporise no matter how much they’ve hurt them. for matt whose love was hard to come by, things just made it worse… more intense for him. he was getting contradicted by the entire fucking universe. it was becoming too much for someone even as dangerous as him.

y/n deeply inhaled and continued, trying to look anywhere except at matt’s death stare at her. “my agency sent two people undercover into the changretta family and managed to kil- uhm… eliminate or arrest them. we were going to arrest your father because he- i…” matt let out a dry chuckle, “and you told them the best time to get my dad, was the day nick gets engaged-”

y/n knew this was coming. “it wasn’t personal matt-”

“i’m so fucking done with you y/n. you’re the worst fucking bitch i’ve ever met my entire life��”

“there’s a fucking reason you dick!”

all this did was piss off matt even more. he punched the wall right next to y/n’s head out of pure agony, but she didn’t flinch. not one bit. she’s seen way worse than some pissed off guy. but this was matt, who was still her one epic love, even if it wasn’t reciprocated anymore. she was worried cause he might never trust her ever again, but she still does. that’s why she came to him completely unarmed.

matt was so overwhelmed by everything. he was just so fucking tired at this point. he never thought things would turn out the way they did. so he did the one thing he never thought he would do. he threw his pistol away from them and let go of y/n. her fucked up hair, the gun head shaped dent on her temple, and the bruise on y/n neck, piled feelings of shame on matt’s overbearing load of emotions. the dried up tears on matts face were immediately replaced with fresh ones.

he yet again, slunk down on the brown couch and supported his heavy head with shaky hands. y/n was just as tired. tired of herself. she knew she’d crossed a huge line, even if it was with the purest of intentions. seeing the sight of her everything in tears all because of her, made y/n want to hug him and kiss him and tell him that everything was gonna be okay.

she sat next to matt and continued her explanation because he needed to hear it.

“i did all this to protect your dad, matt. the two people who went undercover with the changrettas caught wind of some plan to kill your dad after his testimony… and i couldn’t let that happen. so instead, we replaced some of your guards with our people, over a few weeks so you wouldn’t get too suspicious. then we moved to make contact today only cause nick had told me, he and mark were planning to go on a vacation right after the engagement. right now your dad, mom, nick and justin are under custody but they’re safe. the immunity is granted and since your father is always privy to important information, the agency is protecting him. i have no idea where chris is. last we saw him was with you. i followed you and i sent two others to find him. and now-”

“why couldn’t you tell me y/n? i could’ve helped you-” asked matt. he was still in two minds but the mind that believed in her, overpowered his now weak reasons to kill her. “no you couldn’t have matt. i could’ve told you… any step of the way and all that would’ve done is overcomplicate things. no one if your family could know… mainly cause we believe there’s a mole in your organisation-”

“there’s no fuckin’ mole. i trust those people with my life-”

“just like you trusted me?”

“i’m sorry y/n but what i saw and how i got to know about you… i don’t know if i can believe in you. i’m just so fuckin’ tired and all i’m thinking is how the fuck am i just supposed to take your word for it…”

y/n let out a quiet sigh. “i dunno. i’m in charge to get you safely to our headquarters. but, i can’t let you outta my sight until i get to know chris’ whereabouts. and… i'm pretty sure y’know where he is. ”

“what if you’re fuckin’ tricking me into telling you where chris is?” after so long, matt actually looked at y/n. she was making a phone call. “give the phone to jimmy. the second triplet needs confirmation they’re all safe. here matt.” y/n said while giving her phone to him.

“dad?! please tell me you’re okay!” matt heard the code his father said. only they knew about this phrase. this proved to matt that it was actually his dad. after a minute long conversation, matt gave the phone back to y/n.

“no ma’am, i don’t know where he is. but i will bring both of them safely to the headquarters… yes even if that’s… the last thing i do. thank you ma’am.” y/n said before cutting the encrypted call.

“what do you mean even if it’s the last thing you do?” even after everything matt definitely did not want y/n to die. he still loved her but the trust would take some time. “it’s nothing…” she said, moments before y/n heard the noise of tires screeching on the dirt road of the forest. she was quick to instruct matt.

“stay behind me.”

he walked towards where matt threw his gun and gave it to her. “how’d you know i didn't have a gun?”

matt genuinely chuckled for the first time since this fucked up day. “y’might’ve fooled me, but i still know how to read people jus’ by looking into their eyes. and i definitely know your eyes, sweetheart…”

just before y/n could retort, the door of the cabin slammed open, to reveal a wildly shocked chris, looking at his beloved brother and the girl who was the reason he was on a wild goose chase for the past hour.

”chris, lemme explain…”

”you fucking psycho-”

author’s note 2: i would rlly appreciate any sort of comments (not straight up hate) so as to improve my writing skills and everyone’s reading experience! :) hope u liked it! also happy new years in advance!!!

[gomirocket]

this story is so so sappy. and also, contains dysphoria comfort, fear of abandonment, low key BPD symptoms, touch starvation, and "mommy" as a pet name. be warned!

ggggGOD i am so needy right now. all i want to do, all i want to do, is sit down on someone's big cock, strap, whatever, and just have them coo and dote on me while i put on a show for her. i want to be stuffed so full that when i lean back you can see the outline on my tummy.

i wanna fuck myself on her while i let out allllll the pent up touch starvation. to just cry and sob because it feels so good, and because i'm finally loved. because she loves me so much she doesn't even care about her own pleasure for a little bit. she just wants to let me be subby and cuddly and needy.

i wanna sit there and beg, fucking myself stupid, "pplesseplease let me make you fffeel good i promise i'll do a good job justt i dont wanna be useless im a good toy please im not worth it a a-"

and have her lay there shushing me, a soft smile on her face, "no, dear. this is for you. i don't need your attention right now. i want to make you feel good. i love you."

and. i'd start crying harder. "no no no!! no cause if-cause if i dddont make you feel good you're gonna leave!!! and-"

"shut. up. you wanna make me feel good so bad? you want that security? fine. if you can't accept my love when i give it to you freely, i'll just have to force it on you."

she grabs me and pulls me close, rolling over so that i'm on the bottom.

"wwwait wait wait im sorry im sorry!!! i know you love me i love you please don't be mad im sorry!! im sorry im sorry im s-"

slap

"Mommy's not mad at you. i promise im not mad. it just. frustrates me. so much, when you're like this. when you're scared, insecure. and i know it's not your fault. i know it's not your fault. but. that doesn't mean i can't get frustrated. and that doesn't mean i can't feel upset. it hurts me when you feel like you can't trust me."

"... i'm sorry. i don't know what to do with these feelings. i try and i try to dismiss them, to appease them, to ignore them, but i cant. i just can't. i'm sorry mommy."

"oh, baby, baby, baby, it's okay. look, look, cling to me. i'm right on top of you. i'm not gonna let go. you're allowed to be clingy. you're allowed to be scared, and you're allowed to soothe yourself with me. i'm never, never ever going to abandon you. i love when you're needy. i love when you feel safe enough to come to me with these feelings. you don't need to put on an act to keep me happy. you don't need to do anything special. i'm in love with you."

she starts to thrust again, pressing right up against my spot while i cling to her with all my might.

"now, Mommy's going to fuck you nice and full, okay? and you're gonna let yourself go. you don't need to put on a show for me."

her hand gently tweaks my nipple, "is that clear, my precious little bun?"

"yes- YYES! thhabk you mommy thankyoutyabkyoughuyghvbbjgv"

she's pressing rrright into my girlcock from behind and i'm so wet and her tummy is so slick from me aaand and she's not stopping and

"thaaaats it baby, that's it. let it allll out. you don't need to pretend. you don't need to put on an act. you're moaning so pretty but i know that you're still holding back. leme just-"

she starts fingering my taint like i'm a real girl. my moans start sounding more noticeably trans.

"ohhh i know how much you hate it when i do that, don't you? when i press that spot and you can't help but making those adorable fucking noises. guess what? i don't care. you're still a girl. you're still my girl. you're still mine. and you're mine to toy with, mine to touch, mine to make feel good. not the other way around. now,"

my moans get shaky, my hole clenches, my cock throbs and my body does anything it can to lower the intensity. my back arches into her, our chests press against each other, ohh fuck, i can't-

"cum for Mommy."

her tummy gets turned into a sticky mess, tears stream down my face as i press into the hug, trying desperately to ride out this orgasm and keep my sanity.

what feels like an eternity passes, my make-up is wrecked, and my hole is worse off. she collapses on top of me, both of us panting for air. she gently strokes my hair as we lay there.

"i love you honey. i love you."

"i love you too Mommy."

[fizzie-frog]

Blitzø: core self, trauma and healing (part two)

This is a continuation of my previous post. Thanks to Tumblr limitations, I had to split it into different parts (trust me, I wish I could've made it just one big post).

PART ONE

This might be long...

He tried to waddle through the trauma of existing as someone as self-loathing as himself.

He denied;

“I didn’t do anything, it was an accident!”

He isolated;

He minimized, often with humour;

“Uh-oh, looks like it sucked all the fun outta you!”

He avoided being vulnerable;

“I DID CARE!”

And felt awkward/uncomfortable when he did end up spilling out his emotions;

“Weeeeeeeell, fuck you!”

Suppressed his emotions;

… Cause they’re blinding and suffocating, and it’s easier to avoid them.

He hated himself and didn’t believe there is anything good about him, despite having changed lives for the better;

And he dipped if he got too close (everything literally burnt down when he tried getting closer, didn’t it);

He often didn’t believe others would hold any endearment for him, even taking it as a joke;

“I destroy everything, everyo— I make everyone’s lives worse!”

And that’s it, really. He believes he’s a pest, a virus, something that can only do harm. While his core self still showed itself from time to time, he was blinded with the trauma of all his wrongdoings. All the people he’s hurt and that, in a self-fulfilling prophecy, made him hurt even more.

Everything he couldn’t look straight in the eye. The death of his mother, caused by him. The hurt of his friend, caused by him. The hurt he’s caused around himself. He couldn’t bear see it, knowing it would break him down. That’s why he avoided it. Thinking about what happened, what he did is suffocating. But that also blinded him from seeing his good deeds too. As usual, we’re more likely to see the negative over the positive.

Blitz picked himself up by the bootstraps as they say, but it didn’t help him, not within himself. So what did help?

I think it started in Oops…

He didn’t wanna be vulnerable, but after so much hurt and things left unsaid, it spilled. It all spilled out and made him into a crying mess right in front of Fizz, cause as much as he tried to act unbothered, he did care (as he said in the episode). He was vulnerable, he explained to Fizz exactly what happened instead of holding it in anymore, he apologized to Fizz. They both learnt what happened.

And the kicker? It paid off! Blitz was finally vulnerable to someone, his former best friend, and Fizz forgave him. He got his dear friend back for this. Not only did he win someone he loves back, but also this came as a punch to those unhealthy beliefs, cause he was vulnerable and it didn’t turn out bad.

We have Ghostfuckers.

After being plagued by his memories, Millie came to his aid. She not only reminded him of a time he actually changed her life for the better, but also confirmed that he indeed cares for Blitz.

Then the moment of truth…

Can’t get anymore raw than the moment when his death was imminent. It’s often in times like this that we people’s raw emotions.

In a moment when even Loona was tearing up at the thought of losing Blitz. When all his friends were already mourning him, crying for him as he was about to lose his life.

And in that moment, when he was sure he was gonna die, he could finally say it…

“I love you, guys”

There was nothing to be lost. He was gonna die and the last thing he knew was that his friends were crying for him, but were safe. He could die happy.

Of course though, he didn’t, as we know. Once he was outside the court room, he was pulled in a sobbing hug by his friends and daughter that were relieved he was okay. Even further proof of being loved. Despite the horrible circumstances, it must be so healing to his heart to have that.

True, unfiltered confirmation of being loved. He is loved. The possibility of someone you love dying shakes you. Loona realized it wasn’t worth pretending anymore - life is so short, especially for low class hellborns.

And probably so did Blitz. He was finally in a happy place. His daughter loved him, his friends loved him. Stolas loved him.

He is loved.

So in the Sinsmas episode, we started seeing so much more of who he once was.

He was goofy,

Attentive,

Listening,

Supportive,

Cheerful,

Encouraging,

Patient,

He looked at potential future,

He was selfless,

Protective,

Kind,

Even romantic.

And he was happy…

That’s not to say he’s completely healed. I think you can never truly heal from something like this, especially the magnitude of what Blitz went through in his life, and his issues can resurface.

But at this point in time, he’s finally in a happy place. He was affirmed, comforted and reassured. He’s content, and that’s the most healed he can be.

His core self is finally seeing the light of day. He is more himself than he’s ever been since that day.

So that was it. I’m sorry if I was a bit messy some places; as mentioned, life is kind of a struggle. Sometimes I feel like my brain is deteriorating or something, lmao, but I wanted to put this together cause I feel like Blitz has such a good, painfully relatable (to me anyway) arc and he’s such a complex character.

My love for Fizz remains the biggest, but I couldn’t deny the love I have for Blitz. He’s just such a good character with such good development. Selfish yet selfless, careful yet careless… So many dimensions.

If you made it this far, thank you! <3

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + headcanons, Part 6 (Azure Lion, Peng, Yellowtusk)

(I originally made my own design of Azure and Yellowtusk but wasn't quite happy with how they turned out so I scrapped them, the designs for those two I used in these edits were made by @/erraday_ on twt, with a few minor changes, but Peng's design is my own :) )

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Snores so loud, it's insane, Yellowtusk once thought there was an earthquake

- Feels bad whenever he's steps on a ladybug, butterfly etc

- Gives everyone and everything giant bear hugs because he thinks if Yellowtusk can take it, so can everyone else (They cannot)

- Mei once gave him catnip as a joke and he went fucking feral, he's not allowed near catnip anymore

- His hair/fur is actually very soft and curly

- Thought he saw an old friend while out in public and hugged them, it was a stranger

- Wakes up Yellowtusk in the middle of the night to ask stupid questions

- The Brotherhood asked to hear his roar but he got really nervous last second and it ended up being really meek, they never let him forget it

- Coughed up a hairball once and Peng refuses to let him live it down

- Has eaten cat food before and would do it again

- Cannot do the splits and is too scared to try

- Gets really confused by modern slang, MK and Mei abuse the hell out of it because it's funny

- Whenever he's rough housing with people he accidentally hits a bit too hard

- Whenever he walks past anyone playing a game that involves a ball (football, basketball, netball, etc) he somehow always ends up getting hit in the head with it

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he wouldn't know what the fuck to do and would be really awkward cause he doesn't know how to interact with children, he'd be able to bond with Redson better when he becomes a teenager though

- No one gossips with him because he always ends up unintentionally outing someone about something

- Ate moldy food once by accident and freaked out, he was absolutely disgusted

- Hates horror movies but loves slashers

- Drinks mouthwash

- Smells like catnip (trust me guys)

- Love language is words of affirmation

- Has horrible bed head, his mane gets tangled really easily and he tosses around a lot at night so his mane takes hours to brush out

- Absolutely refuses to wear shoes, they hurt his feet (paws?)

- The type of person to cry over a movie about a dog getting lost and then finding its owner at the end

- Can somehow eat an entire goddamn buffet and not gain a single pound

- His face always scrunches up when he smiles

- Lost his balance on a hill and fell down like a tumbleweed once, Peng still brings it up

- They/He (Canon, Peng uses They/Them in the show but is exclusively referred to w/ He/Him in the sets)

- Nonbinary (Canon)

- Starts squaking when he laughs too much

- If you throw a blanket over their head he'll immediately fall asleep

- "look behind you but don't make it obvious" Looks behind him in the most exaggerated, obvious way known to mankind

- Stole food from Wukong's private stash for several months when the Brotherhood was all still together, Wukong still doesn't know

- Wukong gave them cooked chicken once as a joke but he actually liked it

- Constantly argues with Wukong about Macaque not being able to hold his own, yes it got physical

- Their wings have a bunch of scars from the amount of weapons and shit they block with them. Has to consistently clean their wings in order to keep them from getting too damaged, yes this includes softening and preening his feathers

- If they weren't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid they would tape him to the wall like that one meme and call it a day

- Bit off a person's finger once just to see if they could

- Doesn't shop, just steals

- "I hate you so fucking much" as he's handing the person a gift

-  Tried to draw on Wukong's face once but got wacked with his tail

- Absolutely HATES beetroot, will actually gag if he smells it

- Kicks over kids sand castles at the beach

- Can't stand small buzzing sounds

- "I'm not that competitive" is that competitive

- Claims you can trust them with anything but will snitch the second they know it will benefit them

- Probably threatened to eat someone's baby once

- Goes to playgrounds to trip kids

- Smells like Lavender, it just feels right

- Love language is words of affirmation and acts of service

- Has tried sleeping upside down like a bat multiple times

- Hardcore wine aunt vibes

- Had a bunch of ducklings accidently imprinted to him and they followed Peng for hours

- You'd have to pin this bird down to get them to eat collyflower

- Jokingly pushed Azure off a cliff once then remembered they're the only member of the Camel Ridge Trio that can fly

- They have full on concerts at like 3 am, has woken up Azure on multiple occasions

- He/Him

- AroAce

- Is the calmest one in the Brotherhood

- He uses Peng's head as an armrest sometimes

- He and DBK were actually quite close, he knew and accepted that DBK was in love with a celestial but was very surprised to see they ended up having a child

- Very poor eyesight but doesn't like wearing his glasses because Peng made a joke about them once saying he looked like a grandma

- Uses ":3" and ":D"

- Loves soap opera's

- Hates seafood

- Peng once tricked him into eating fish nuggets once and he still hasn't fully forgiven them

- If he wasn't sealed away and got a chance to babysit Redson as a kid he would definitely be the most responsible one, and probably Redson's favourite uncle

- Eats a snack then forgets he ate it and will bet frustrated when he can't find it

- The therapist of the Camel Ridge Trio, and probably of the whole Brotherhood in the past as well

- Was the only one who felt bad about imprisoning the Demon Bull Family since he and DBK were very close

- He also reprimanded Peng for when they pinned and scratched Redson with their claws after they left the Demon Bull Palace (he's the protective uncle, trust me guys)

- Hates getting hiccups, he despises the feeling and it gives him heartburn

- Wakes up at ungodly hours just to raid the fridge

- Heard a story about a bug crawling in someone's ear while they slept and has worn earplugs to bed ever since

- Loves apples

- Smells like Lilies

- Love language is gift giving

- Is really big on safety, would be the type of person to make sure everyone is wearing their seat belts before the car is even turned on

- Actually really good at cooking

- Makes the best chocolate chip pancakes ever

- Is the kind of person who assumes everyone tells eachother everything and accidently exposes someone because he thought everyone else knew about it already

- Always hears things wrong but doesn't wanna ask anyone to repeat themselves

- Has the most elegant ass handwriting you will ever see, somehow

- The peacemaker of the Brotherhood,  they all would've disbanded way sooner if it wasn't for him

- Uses his trunk as a snorkle when swimming or sleeping underwater (elephants actually do this irl, I just thought it was cute)

[absgay]

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ “I still remember the moment we met, the touch that she planted, the garden she left. I guess the rain was just half that effect.” ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

words count: 1.7k

“No need to imagine, cause’ I know it’s true. They say all good girls go to heaven, but bad girls bring heaven to you.”

warnings: 18+ minors dni, angst, grammar, f*buddy!abby, college!abby, sexual tension, some jealousy, idk i’m not good at this, smut.

part one, part two, next part.

Fuck this, fuck them, fuck her. You didn’t want to see Abby Anderson ever again, you didn’t want to talk about her or think about her either. It started with a basic conversation between two young women in the bathroom, comments, intrusive questions, then came the facts and revelations, the ugly truth.

“Idiot— So stupid.” you murmured as you went down the stairs. You needed some time to digest it, some space. Unfortunately, the universe didn’t seem to be on your side today. “Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart!” Abby shouted as she stood in the hallway. Great timing, great, great, great. The blond’s enthusiasm died as you headed to your room without a word.

You weren’t surprised but frustrated as she followed you. Leave me alone, go away, fuck off. You looked down and sighed, you didn’t feel tough enough to confront her. “I don’t wanna talk to you, Abby.”

“Okay…” She responded with an uncertain tone. You felt small, naive and weak as an intense sadness stabbed your heart. “At least, tell me why or what happened to—” Abby’s gorgeous blue eyes widened as you kicked the door. “Hey— Stop.”

She seemed genuinely worried as you unlocked it, after the second try. She spinned you around by the wrist, asking questions, trying to understand what was going on with you.

“Did something happen or—”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you managed to say after a few seconds, even though you were overwhelmed by your own emotions as they all fought together. “I feel so dumb, Abby— I thought things were different between us, I thought I was different and—” Don’t cry, don’t cry, not now. “But it’s not, because you fucked Nancy at this stupid party and then came to the library, flirted with me and decided it’d be fun to fuck me as well. You know what— You’re no better than the others, you’re nothing more than an asshole who pretends to be nice and to have morals so she doesn’t have to face any consequences.” Outch.

Abby didn’t say anything at first, shocked and confused. It was a nightmare, it couldn’t be real, you weren’t actually mad at her, right? She swallowed hard, your words and tone held so much disappointment and hatred, it fuckin’ hurt.

“I— I’m gonna be late for practice.” She turned around, ready to leave but at the last minute, decided to take another look at you. “I don't know what she told you, what you heard or whatever but I pulled away as soon as Nancy kissed me.” Abby said. “You’re the reason I went there in the first place. I came and left with only one thing in mind, you.”

You almost called the blond’s name as she walked away, almost. You shouldn’t have said that, any of it. You stood in the hallway and listened as Abby slammed the door hard on her way out, heart heavy and thoughts racing.

“Do you remember how you two first met?” Your roommate asked. She was looking at you from across the room, seated at her desk. “God— You were so angry.” She laughed.

Yes, unfortunately. It started back in autumn. You were in bed, complaining, groaning and turning around endlessly as music blasted from someone else’s room, once again.

“Where are you going? Hey— Trust me, it’s not worth it.” Your roommate had said to you. “They’ll stop eventually.” You didn’t listen and headed to the stranger’s room with determination.

You knocked once, twice, thrice, the music stopped. You looked around the hallway as you waited, ready to argue with whoever lived here. But as the stranger opened the door, you stepped back, captivated by the attractive blond woman standing right in front of you.

“Oh— Hey.” she said. “Can I help you?”

She looked really, really, too good. “Yes.” But, you couldn’t let the woman’s appearance distract you though, attractive or not: she was still annoying. “Shut down the music and let us get some fuckin’ sleep.”

She smiled, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” You sighed at the blond’s flirtatious tone. “I’m Abby.”

“And I’m exhausted.” She huffed, chuckled even as you stood there, frustrated by her reaction. “I’m serious, shut it down.”

Abby leaned towards you with a smirk. “Sure— Anything for you.” Then, she stepped back and shut the door in your face.

Your mouth dropped. “What the—” She had turned the music back on. “Fine.”

From then on, you annoyed each other on a daily basis. On some random monday night, she’d decide to play with your nerves by blasting music until one in the morning. On tuesday, you’d tell everyone she has chlamydia. An immature game you both secretly enjoyed at the time.

One evening, as you were coming back from a friend’s party, you saw a woman leaving Abby’s room, once again.

“Neighbour.” Abby nodded at you. “Nice dress.”

“Dickhead.” She chuckled softly as you stood in front of her, arms crossed and thighs pressed together, the blond’s eyes lingering over your bare legs. “Well— You must be exhausted after your fifth dick appointment of the day.” It sounded bitter, which made you regret it instantly, your stomach twisted in jealousy and embarrassment.

She hummed, amused. “Yeah...” Abby stretched exaggeratedly, then flexed her biceps as you rolled your eyes. “But don’t worry about it, I can ruin my sleep schedule and add a sixth one for you.”

“How thoughtful. I’m gonna have to decline the offer though. You see, I’d rather get some sleep than chlamydia.”

Abby frowned. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why does everybody keep saying that? I don’t have chla—” You chuckled and looked away. “Oh, I see— You’re truly something else.” Abby said. “Now, there’s better ways to get my attention.”

“Right.” You snorted at the blond’s face. “My mission in life.”

Abby huffed and leaned towards you. “Okay— Listen to me, smart-ass. I’d fuck you so good, you’d see stars.” She hummed, looking down at your parted lips. “Yeah— I’m sure your pretty mouth would feel good on mine. You’d sound so sweet moaning and screaming my name, needy little brat.”

Your heart stopped, time stopped. You couldn’t think straight anymore. It was unexpected, bold and so hot. Flustered, you remained silent in shock as Abby looked at you attentively, trying to decode your features. The blond’s face was so close to yours, yet so far away.

“Admit it— You want me.”

“What, no— You want me.”

“I do.” Abby confessed. “And— I must be an actual masochist, because you’re a pain in the ass, sweetheart.”

You hummed, swallowed hard, your cheeks flushed, knees weak, panties soaked as she stared at you with such nasty, hungry eyes. Fuck, calm down.

To be honest, you didn’t want to deny the sexual tension between you two anymore. It was an unwanted attraction built on curiosity and frustration, heated conversations at midnight, arguments in class, flirty comments at lunch, short glanced at parties, unanswered questions as you both secretly wondered: What if? How would it feel? How would it be? Gentle, rough, passionate? So many possibilities, so many hidden feelings, so much desire.

Unfortunately, as much as you wanted to know, as much as your body ached for hers, you didn’t wanna be one of these women, the one who leaves the blond’s room in the early morning glow and hopes she’ll call them back soon, because she never does.

“I don’t wanna be your sixth dick appointment of the day.” You stepped back.

She sighed. “Well— Technically, it’s past midnight, which means you’d be the first one today.”

You chuckled and shook your head as she smiled. “Goodnight, Anderson.”

“Goodnight.”

You turned around to head back to your own room, emotionally wrecked by the blond’s last few words. Luckily, Abby didn’t want you to leave, wouldn’t let it happen, not so easily, not like that. You yelped as she grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a kiss, your eyes widening, your body collapsing against hers.

“Fuck— I’m sorry.” Abby breathed. “I should’ve asked you first. I didn’t mean to— I thought we were— I don’t know.” She sounded so nervous, it surprised you. “Say something.”

Shit. A one-night stand couldn’t hurt, right? You needed to feed your curiosity somehow. “This is a one time thing.” you murmured, the blond dragging you into the dark room instantly as you responded.

Abby moaned softly as you pushed her against the nearest wall, your body overwhelmed by lust, the heat rushing down to your stomach as you kissed the blond passionately for the first time. Abby’s hands moved down to your ass, rough palms and thick fingers disappearing underneath your dress with eagerness.

“Shit—” you breathed in shock, the blond’s hands ripping apart your panties as she groaned against your neck, like an animal. “No, no— These were brand new— I fuckin’ hate you.”

You moaned and pulled at Abby’s braid, eyes closed and head falling backwards as she kissed your shoulder, then bit it. “Oh, Yeah— Do you wanna fight about it?”

“I do.” you whispered back.

Abby sat against the headboard as you lay between her thighs, your back pressed against her bare chest. She moved one hand down to your stomach and smiled as you whined in anticipation, eyes glancing at the blond’s hand approaching your inner thigh. Abby’s fingers moved across your clit teasing it, her mouth dropping as she sensed how wet you were for her.

“Please.” you murmured, frustrated. “Please—”

Abby’s second hand covered your mouth as she touched you, fingering you hard and fast, your moans and whines muffled, your own hands gripping on the woman’s veiny arms.

“Look at me.” Abby murmured with a serious tone. “Oh, fuck— You’re so pretty, so good for me.” You whined at her words, looking up at Abby with bright eyes, your mascara ruined by the sweat and tears. “See— I knew you’d love it."

“Abby— Fuck.” you cried between short breathes as the blond’s hand went from your mouth to your throat. “I’m— I’m—” She added pressure, smirking.

“That’s it, that’s it— Fuck, sweetheart— Come for me.”

Yes. You remember the quiet hallway, the rain, the sunrise as you headed out quietly, the shy glances and smiles you both shared at the door. Abby’s hands catching your waist, the blond’s lips capturing yours as she held you tight one last time, before letting you go.

Yes, you remembered it all too well.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

next part.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:

"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.

i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.

i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."

[elliespassagerprincess]

ultraviolence by Lana del Rey with toxic/mean/abusive!ellie who hurts reader x painslut reader who kinda loves it

Ultraviolence - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I'm sorry this took so long, its been a while since I've written something like this, so it took me a while to get into that mindset. I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song, Ultraviolence by the queen Lana Del Ray, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: toxic relationships, manipulation, cheating, reader is toxic

Summary: In which she became the person, you've always wanted

Authors note: wheeeew its been a while since I've written a fic that wasn't hcs, but I'm glad to be back!

He used to call me DN

That stood for deadly nightshade

'Cause I was filled with poison

But blessed with beauty and rage

Jim told me that

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Jim brought me back

Reminded me of when we were kids

there was always something about Ellie.

You weren't sure if it was her dorky personality, or how she would apologize to table if she accidentally walked into it.

There was something about this girl.

And ever since you were a little girl, you knew you knw she was special. You felt like she was holding back. There was another side, you wanted to see.

You were both 7. You remembered watching Ellie, better known as four eyes because she wore massive glasses, sit alone once again. You remembered walking up to her, and asking her to play tag with you.

You still remembered the smile that spread across her face, because finally someone wanted to play with her. And since then Ellie has just always been there.

The two of you became friends. You aren't sure how, but she was always there.

You were Ellie's everything, because you were there for her during her loneliest years.

You knew how much you meant to her. You knew how much she loved you, and you took advantage of that.

Ellie's innocence and purity was something that intrigued you. You truly thought she was odd. No matter how old the two of you were, you always saw her as four eyes.

Nothing more than that. There was no romantic feelings from your side.

Ellie was everything you weren't.

She was sweet, kind, loveable.

But you were sick. A sick twisted individual who took advantage, of someone like Ellie.

But who could blame you?

Ellie was attractive, strong, financially stable, and well you were someone who saw the opportunity.

So it was actually Ellies fault.

She should've not trusted you so easily. She should've not let you in. Ellie brought this upon herself.

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

you didn't know when it all started.

You weren't sure when you developed this "kink".

Was this a disease? Or were you just fucking weird?

In 11th grade you remember your teaching yelling at you for failing a another test. You were called "pathetic", a "failure".

Most people would cry due to humiliation, but you couldn't help but feel your thighs clench together.

You thought you were weird. This was fucking sick honestly.

You went out of your way to make people mad, so that they would yell at you. To degrade you to an extent.

god you loved it.

Ellie had asked you to be her girlfriend when the two of you were 18. You took pity on her.

She was so soft. So naïve.

Ellie had no place being with someone like you. Someone who craves to be hurt. You were a painslut and Ellie, poor Ellie wasn't. She wouldn't be able to do that to you.

You were trapped in a relationship, where it was healthy. It felt safe. You enjoyed it sometimes, but there was one thing your heart craved. And maybe the thing Ellie was holding back was it.

You wanted to leave Ellie, until that one night.

The two of you were at a party, and Ellie was drunk out of her mind. You don't even know what she saw, or who said what but she was really fucking mad.

"You're fucking cheating on me bitch" Ellie slurred as she pointed her finger at you. You licked your lips at the insult, at the aggression, she spoke.

Focus.

"Ellie you're drunk, i didn't do anything"

"give me your phone"

"Ellie-"

"I'm not asking again" she yelled.

Fuck yes. This is what you want.

You handed her the phone, and you watched as she searched and she found nothing. She threw your phone across the room, you flinched slightly.

god she's so hot.

Ellie got up and grabbed your arm, bringing you close to her face, you smelt the alcohol in her breath.

She looked at you with dark eyes, before uttering "Don't ever think of cheating on me" she let go of your arm.

She grabbed you and it felt like a kiss.

When Ellie woke up the next morning, she couldn't remember a thing.

She was back to being herself. You wanted her back. You needed her again.

You realized, she was drunk. You couldn't keep her under the influence forever, just because you liked that version of her.

After that night you knew she was hiding a part of herself from you.

Drunk words are sober thoughts they say.

So maybe deep down she was actually toxic. Maybe she was the person you craved.

All you had to do was to figure out, how to get through to her.

He used to call me poison

Like I was poison ivy

I could've died right then

'Cause he was right beside me

Jim raised me up

He hurt me but it felt like true love

Jim taught me that

Loving him was never enough

you were like poison.

Destroying anything in your path. Infecting those with your poison.

After that night you realized Ellie's biggest insecurity was that you would leave her. And you used it to your advantage.

Of course you had to, how else would've you got what you wanted?

You would flirt with other people in front of her. You would talk to other girls, send them pictures. You did whatever it took. You were practically cheating on her.

You knew she would never leave you.

And you watched as Ellie slowly disintegrate into madness.

There was no more happy, go lucky Ellie. There was no more smiles. No more care free days.

Ellie lived in fear. You were out of her league. She knew she was going to lose you.

If you were by her side and Ellie could die peacefully. You taught her how to love and how to be a better person.

If you left what would become of her?

Everything went down hill. Ellie started taking your phone. She became more aggressive with her words.

The lovely girl you once knew was gone. You killed the old her. And the person she was becoming was someone you've always dreamed of.

You had a curfew, and when you came home late it would end in her insulting you.

"Who else are you fucking huh? You're practically showing the world your whole body"

you lived a life of fights, make up sex, and jealousy.

You loved every fucking second of it.

She was hurting you and it felt like true love.

I love you the first time

I love you the last time

Yo soy la princesa, comprende mis white lines

'Cause I'm your jazz singer

And you're my cult leader

I love you forever

I love you forever

Ellie loved you, and you loved her.

You love her today, tomorrow and for the rest of your lives.

Ellie became the women you would choose in every lifetime.

Ellie was your leader. The person you would finally follow.

You love Ellie. You'd love her for eternity.

It was truly a sickining thing, you were doing to the poor girl, but God you were selfish. You wanted it all. All the insults, pain, negativity. You craved it.

For the sake of this relationship, you hoped Ellie stayed as toxic as she did.

[elsaellaelys]

We can beat any shit together

summary: JJ finds scars on Y/N's thight and they don't look like an acidente.

pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!depressed reader

WARNINGS: Depression, anxiety, mensions of SH, kinda angst, but comforting.

800 words

a/n: I had to write about this. If you're going through something like that, look for help, someone you can trust, if you don't anybody call 211 or feel free to send a message. I wish somebody had told me this so I'll tell you. You are not alone.

--★--

JJ knows Y/N for as long as he can remember himself. Sweet John B's neighboor, living just down the road, joing all the times Big John took them to go fishing. He really liked her, the way she never judge him, always so kind and gentle, than he decided to take the self obligation to protect she no matter what - she looked like such a cute china doll and he wouldn't let she break. The pogues made fun of his behavior. Gotta pick her up from work! Gotta drop her at work! Save this for Y/N! No pickles, Y/N doesn't like it. He had to repay all the love she gave him, the love she made he feel. She barely realised it though, walking around with JJ just in front clearing her way, making sure there was no thorns.

That's why the discovery stabbed him right in the chest.

They were all on the beach, had just left the water to lay in the sand. Y/N stretched out, not really caring about putting a towel under, dead tired from the surfing. JJ watched she lay like a star, he couldn't help but stare at her, of course he had seem her in a bikini thousands of times, lately it's being different, hips wider, waist defined, boobs hanging in her top and thights... looking like they're melting?

"What's this?" He lean over, running his finger over the strange blur, skin color staying in his fingertip. She recoiled from his touch trying to hide the marks that appeared, eyes starting to water.

"Y/N?!"

She squirmed, hating to have the attention of the entire group now.

"It's just a little bit of foundation" she replies.

"Why you're putting makeup on your thights?" Kiara asks, face looking scared of the answer. Y/N wiped her leg, deep dark scars full on display.

JJ fliched, they were so deep, almost screaming sadness and pain. A nott formed on his throat just thinking about how much it must have hurt, how grotesque it looked. He looked back to her face, not finding the strength she must have to do something so... I mean she wasn't just cutting, that was mutilating.

"Fuck" She cried, she ruined the moment, it was a nice day, it felt okay, especially after she putted the right green concealer, the scars almost fading under it. The thought of the washing water faded from her mind.

"Tell me it was an acident, please."

"Does it look like one?" Y/N replied.

She wished they had caved the enourmous hole JJ suggest cause now she could bury herself on it. Pope's face looked full of pity like Kiara, John B. was confused - she made it herself? - but JJ, he was hurted, and she lightly pinched her arm for causing it.

"I'm sorry. I wanna go home." the girl said, grabbing her stuff, heading to the Twinkie. JJ followed her, trying to take her bag to care it.

"Wait." he begged, not really reaching her steps.

"No! JJ! Stop! Leave me, I just wanna go home"

"Give me the bag. Let me help you"

"You can't help me!"

It was not about the bag. She stopped, she fell, holding her knees close to her chest, crying the heart out. Lucky no one was around. JJ lowered next, stroking her hair.

"It's okay" he whispered.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she repeated over and over.

"Hey, no, don't be. I am the one who should be sorry. Look at me." his hands reached her face to pull it up seeing her wet lashes. "Sorry I didn't realized before" he begged again, because the memories just hitted him. The way she was always complainnig about the fights her parents were having, but still refused to leave the house, how she was tired all the time, even though she just woke up. Too many alcohol, to many cigarettes, less hangouts, less calls, less partys, much thoughts, much silence.

He fastly wiped the tears down his face holping she didn't noticed, just hugged she tightly.

The pogues approxed and they were hugging she too, whispering sweet nothings. Sweet everythings.

John B. was the first to get up holding his hand out for her.

"Let's go home." he says. They all know where is home.

In the ride JJ made sure he held she close, hand on her pulse, time in time putting his nose between her hair, just to know she's there, safe, with him.

"Can I ask you..." he carefully began "Where is the thing... you used?"

"In my bag, the little left pocket."

JJ almost cried again, for knowing that she cared it around, like a thing she needed close. He found it, trew it out tge window.

"You're going to be fine." he reasured "I'm right here. We can beat any shit together."

[nayladoodles]

Vegas Wedding RadioStatic AU

hellooooo tumblr. Seeing the radiostatic week arts has reminded me about this au I came up with.

Like the title says Vegas wedding. Tag to search: #radiostaticvegasweddingAU

- Vox marries Alastor while he's 10 sheets to the wind despite Alastor's protests.

-Despite the initial panic neither really wants to stop being married.

-Alastor being an asexual (borderline sex repulsed is my HC) tells Vox he can't give him that which Vox says he doesn't need him to.

-They stay married without ever telling anyone.

-They do love each other in their own ways however subtle those might be.

-By the time the hotel is fully up and running the two had a "falling out" after Vox asks Al to join the Vees.

-Velvette and Valentino have NO idea they're married and neither do the folks in the hotel.

-Once Alastor finds out how badly Valentino treats Angel Dust...

-While he can't stop him without causing a ruckus, he can do something once he senses Charlie is in danger.

-Valentino ends up stupidly trying to pick a fight with deer dad with Velvette yelling for Vox. Charlie is trying to do damage control but makes it worse accidentally while Angel is just numb. (traumatized bc he knows what happens to him when someone interferes at the studio).

-Vox appears immediately putting out the fires and seeing wtaf is going on with his business partner and the princess of hell.

"Oh, it's only you." Vox mutters seeing Alastor very much overstimulated by everything else happening around him.

"ONLY HIM?!" Valentino screeches.

"Take your kids and go. I'll handle the mess."

"Vox what the FUCK?!" Valentino bellows once Alastor left with Charlie and Angel (who protested but Vox insisted).

"Stop your fucking screeching. Vel call the repair crew." Velvette does so without questions. Vox leaves once the repairs are started too overstimulated to really care about anything other than going to hide in his dark bedroom.

It hits him later that he saw his hubs after 7 FUCKING years. he is immediately upset and the events of Stayed Gone occur. Alastor is hurt Vox went public about their disagreement after the Vees tried to spy on the hotel.

LONGER story short the events of the series occur as usual aside from everyone being really confused/suspicious of the two overlords.

-Poison is the point when they get caught being more like lovers than enemies by Velvette and unintentionally Angel.

Vox is overstimulated again leaving him with his equivalent of a migraine and Alastor finally comes to see him. An argument happens over Alastor's disappearance. Alastor CAN'T tell Vox why he was gone without putting him in danger. Vox starts crying and Alastor pulls him close mumbling his own apologies hating seeing his husband hurting.

Vox can tell Alastor wants to tell him why he vanished but, can't. Alastor hold his husband close having missed cuddling with him; Vox feeling very much the same. Alastor hums a soft tune helping Vox remove the illusion box he uses to hide his true form which is more cyborg like. (Think Cyborg from teen titans or Swarzenagegger in the terminators films).

Angel and Vel don't say anything out of respect for their privacy not out of fear of Alastor. Plot follows the show for the most part aside from Fern (my oc) figuring out what happened to Alastor. Valentino had tricked Alastor into a false contact with a being of higher power (not an angel/demon or Lillith/Eve) which restricts his power dangerously so without being obvious to the unitiated.

The final battle with heaven occurs and Alastor gets badly hurt. The Vees sing their post battle song (Vox is VERY worried trust me) and afterwards Vox is a mess. Vel notices but stays quiet to avoid Valentino finding out about the secret marriage.

Once the hotel gets repaired Alastor has still NOT healed due to the power vice. He hides in his room as it gets worse. Fern eventually intervenes using his knowledge of demon/angelic magic (He researched the hell out of it while living for DnD and as a hobby) he removes the angelic magic lingering in Alastor's body and breaks the soul contract using a loophole in the faux contract's terms.

Vel at this point tells Vox to go get his man since he's obviously worried sick about his hubs. Vel is dating Carmilla and has been for the last decade without anyone other than her kids and Zestial knowing of it. The battle made her uneasy as well.

Vox uses the small t.v in Alastor's room to go to his husband who is just now waking up after being healed. Vox holds his face in his hands glad his husbad is okay. he mumbles that he realkly wants to kiss Alastor right then. They had not kissed since the wedding. Alastor kisses him gently pulling back quickly flustered .

Later everyone is informed by Harmonia (my other OC) what Fern had done and why he can in fact do that. Hell's Gate (Souls damned by other mortals using a seal) can do things that most can't due to most not being souls worthy of being damned. Relieved that he's free Alastor admits he couldn't say a word out of fear of endnagering the others in the hotel. They all soothe him that they understand his reasoning and thank him for looking out for their safety.

Everyone then finds out that the two have been married for decades without anyone knowing and congratulate them. Husk explains the seal used on Fern and Harmonia using a book from a coven he took with him to his grave as a favor to the those killed by the seal. Valentino is revealed as the responsible party for the contract Alastor was put under, but little can be done due to terf rules and lack of evidence. The couple sigh frustrated a sentiment which everyone shares.

In the end Angel's contract cannot be broken the same way due to it being legitmately signed. Angel is happy Fern and Harmonia were willing to try for him.

it's long but thisnis the gist of it. me writing a mini ficto talk about my AU lol.