#start processing your trauma and wear a fucking mask

[docmerlin]

yes i know it was soooo traumatic for you to go through a global pandemic and you never ever want to go back, but imagine what it's like now for people who are still living in reality while everyone around them acts like covid just magically went away in 2021

[deleteddewewted]

can you write abt when ghost finally does feel comfortable to have sex w the reader? 👀

Ghost Recovering From His Sexual Trauma (Continuation)

Ghost x Gn! Reader

Summary: Simon is far enough in his recovery process that he's more. comfortable taking his clothes off and letting his partner touch him. He tries new things and set new boundaries with you. He knows he's still got a long road of him but he's happy to go through it with you.

W: Mentions of sexual abuse (past), Trauma being recounted, Semi victim blaming (Self Victim Blaming), Dead Dove (not too intense), healthy sexual boundaries, NSFW, sexual deviancy, Experimenting sexually, Pegging/Penetration, Dom/sub themes

He's finally better, at least that's what his therapist tells him. He feels it too. His workouts are much more positive in their intentions. He's exercising because he likes the way it makes his body feel and how you react to his body instead of doing it as a form of punishment. He no longer uses the mask as much in private when he's in his courters or when at your home. He likes the way the sun feels against his skin, how your skin feels against his own. The feeling of your hand on his cheek is reassuring and he doesn't flinch when you caress his face anymore which makes him feel better about taking his medication.

When you undress him for the first time, you're slow and checked in on him every time you're wanted to remove something from him. He told you to go all the way.

"Take everything off for me, love." You kissed his scars, his pale skin, and the inner part of his thighs before kissing his face.

Your hands on him, your mouth on him, you on top of him. It felt like heaven. He laid in your shared bed like he always dreamed he would and allowed you to do as you pleased. You rode him, his cock inside your hole and filling you with his release. He was overwhelmed by pleasure but it wasn't something he wanted to end. He liked it.

The bites you left on his neck made him feel claimed in a possessive and adoring way. The red streaks from your nails scratching his back and chest had him thrilled. It hurt but in a pleasant way. It stung and left behind reminders as to what he had done with you.

You fucking him like there's no tomorrow, lube/cum coming out of his ass after you pegged/fucked him into the mattress when he asked you "Take the memories of what they did to him away." He wanted something new to fill him. New memories and new sensations consumed his body all while you did all that you wanted with him.

The marking, the claiming, it all brought him a sense of comfort he didn't think was possible for him considering what he had gone through. He liked it so much that he started asking you to do it outside of the bedroom.

This didn't mean he didn't have issues with some aspects of intimacy. When you'd ask him if he wanted to try something new, maybe putting something inside him or even fingering him. Maybe you wanted to have him wear a gag or a cuffs. He would shut it down without wanting to discuss it, not that he owed you any explanation. The guilt of not participating in something that you wanted would bring him to panic attacks at times because he felt like he had failed you as a partner. It was worse if he had to be deployed for months on end when he knew that you missed him physically.

He intensified his therapy and made sure to write some of his more perturbed and vulnerable thoughts into a journal that he would read through to see his progress. He would let you read it too but you never accepted since you wanted him to have something for himself that he didn't need to share.

"Do you think you'd ever want to get hitched to me?" It was such an out-of-the-blue question but none the less you answered.

He wanted to grow old for the first time in his life. He wanted to wake up to you either inside of you or just wrapped around you. The violence in his head calmed when he felt your flesh on his own, the screaming of the past wasn't important while he lay beside you. He wanted to watch the years fade by all while he got to mark your skin just like you'd do with his. He wanted to feel pain if it meant having yous stay with him for the rest of his life and the rest of forever.

He was happy to just be as long as you held him and loved him. As long as you reminded him that he was someone worthy of love and not some cheap whore for a quick thrill.

He promised himself that if he could he would get you a ring when he was fully ok or at least somewhat fixed. He's happy to commit himself fully to you, someday, soon, hopefully soon so he can parade himself like a prideful man.

[yslkook]

UNFUCKWITABLE (9)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook convinces you to take a staycation with him for a few days (a week).

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, oc and jk discuss their unprotected sex practices, vomiting, some jealous jk, mild exhibitionism, fingers in oc's mouth grinding, making out, oral (m), titjob

word count: 7k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. also...cant believe mom manifested into butter jk im in pain

****************************************

Jungkook is unsurprised to enter your home with the key you’d given him the other week and find it completely empty. You’ve been working early mornings and incredibly late nights for the last week and a half, and he can tell it’s beginning to take a toll on you. The first sign that you were beginning to wear down was when you had skipped dinner in favor of sleeping. The second was when you had snapped at him in irritation and then immediately cried over hurting his feelings.

He can think of about a dozen other things, including the even more pronounced bags under your eyes. You’ve always had dark circles under your eyes naturally from hyperpigmentation but these days, not even concealer can help you mask them.

In fact, the reason that you’d even given him a key was because you felt like work was taking over your entire life. You’d hardly had a chance to see anyone who wasn’t a work colleague, and you just missed Jungkook. At least this way, you could wake up and go to bed with him.

You had only been calling Jungkook your partner just shy of four months, and he had a key to your home. Perhaps it was fast for other people, but with him, it felt right. So he keeps a copy of your keys on his lanyard- it’s possibly his most prized possession right now. Jungkook usually only comes when you ask him to, he’s been staying at your place for the last week because of how tired and busy you were.

Usually you stop by the tattoo parlor at least once or twice a week, but you have been sparse because of work. So he’s here, in your home without you. It felt strange the first few times he’d been here without you, but then he started leaving little pockets of himself- his shoes next to yours, his hair product on your shelf, and his two of his jackets hanging near yours in the closet. He’d even purchased a new plant to keep on your windowsill in your living room (which you take turns dutifully watering and making sure she gets enough sunlight).

It’s all very domestic. He had jokingly told you not to expose him to your shared friends, specifically Mina and Mei. To which you had rolled your eyes.

Though some small, very small, part of him wonders if the magic will fade away soon. Considering how fast you both are moving both physically into your home and in your relationship.

It’s only been a few months, and you both were incredibly comfortable with the idea of unprotected sex- after all, Jungkook always pulls out in time. Until, of course, you’d had a pregnancy scare. Hoseok and Yoongi, ever the pair of realists, had scolded him when Jungkook had revealed that you both hardly ever used any protection-

“Are you trying to knock her up? Is that it? You both ready to potentially be parents?” Yoongi says mildly as he polishes off his wine, looking at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook’s cheeks burn.

“No, I’m not trying to knock her up and no, nobody’s trying to be parents-”

“You both are lucky you haven’t knocked her up already,” Hoseok says, with more heat in his voice, “You both are fucking stupid, but you especially.” He even smacks the back of his head with the book in his hands and Jungkook glares at him.

“Hey, my pull out game has always been strong, and I’m serious about her. We wouldn’t fuck raw if-”

“Oh, yes, then we definitely have nothing to worry about,” Yoongi says, “Keep it moving, Hobi.

“Talk to her about it, or else,” Hoseok threatens, “I don’t wanna hear about another pregnancy scare because you’re both idiots.”

“I know, I know,” Jungkook relents, “We’ve been talking about it. It just sucks that birth control can fuck up a woman’s body like that, you know? Mood changes and appetite changes, nausea and everything…”

“You could always get a vasectomy,” Yoongi says bluntly.

“Mei said the same thing. She was way more mean about it, though. Told me she’d cut my balls off if I didn’t get my shit together.”

“I don’t blame her, considering what a mess you both were last month.”

“We were not a mess!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so stressed ever in your life, not even when your first bike got run over by a car. Or when your tattoo got infected three consecutive times. And I’ve never seen her cry so much before.”

“Alright, maybe we’re a little bit of a mess.”

In the end, you and Jungkook had both decided that yes, condoms were probably a good idea. Considering the pregnancy scare you had last month, you both were on edge and a little paranoid. Jungkook hadn’t even mentioned the idea of you taking birth control or getting an IUD, knowing that your last few experiences with the former were unpleasant-

“I can get a vasectomy, you know. In fact, Yoongi suggested it,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly but your jaw drops.

“Jungkook. I don’t think vasectomies are reversible like that. Think about what you’re saying,” You murmur, “I’m touched you’d consider a surgical procedure so I don’t have to take birth control, but what if-”

“I looked it up, they can be reversed-”

“But Jungkook! You don’t know that, what if you want to have kids later and you can’t because you decided on a fucking whim to get a vasectomy? It’s still trauma on your body! You can’t just snip snap, snip snap your vas deferens tube whenever you please. At least with birth control you can start and stop it, even if that’s not a completely benign process.”

Jungkook looks at you long and hard, his tongue poking his cheek and you sigh. “But I don’t-”

“Honey. I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” You murmur, squeezing his hands in yours, “But we’re both being stupid. We’re both acting like condoms don’t exist. Why don’t we start with condoms and then think about getting your tubes tied or me getting an IUD?”

“You spoiled me,” Jungkook complains dramatically and drops his head to your chest, “With your pussy. I’m spoiled now.”

“Shut up.”

And so now, a box of condoms sits in the drawer of your nightstand and you’ve taken to bringing a few with you in your purse as well (and so does he). You’d been far more nervous buying condoms than you’d ever been of buying anything else, and Jungkook had only cockily grinned at you.

Today’s Friday and it’s the day of your deadline. Meaning that you’d hopefully be home soon and be his for the rest of the weekend. He fully plans on getting you to relax and stay in for the majority of the weekend, so that you can catch up on sleep.

But then you come home past dinner (you had sent him a text earlier telling him that you were going to be late. He knows your mood is sour- you had been in a foul mood all week, and the fact that you’re so close to being home but so far just makes it worse). You come home with an empty belly, a weary mind and wetness along your lash line. Climbing into bed next to him, you circle your arms around his waist and cry tiredly into his chest.

“J-Jungkook,” You hiccup, “I’m so tired, they kept me s-so late today but it’s done. Everything is finished-”

“Oh, baby,” He sighs, rubbing your back soothingly, “It’s okay. We can just sleep now. You should take a few days off next week, baby.”

“I don’t know…” But your eyes are wide and considering it.

“You’ve been running on empty all week,” Jungkook points out, “For longer than that. Your job can handle two or three days without you while you recharge. Text your boss, baby. You need to rest, too.”

He nudges your cheek with his nose and you hum in agreement. “Okay. Five day weekend? Sure you won’t get tired of me?” You murmur and laugh when he squeezes your waist.

“We can make it a staycation.”

And you’re already texting your boss, telling her that you needed a few days off next week. She gives you a thumbs up and encourages you to rest up, making it a point to recognize how hard you’ve been working. She even suggests you take the full week off, which you jump at and Jungkook only grins at you.

“My brilliant girl, charming her way into a full week off.”

You swat his hand away and hide your burning but satisfied face in his chest. “Yeah, your bad habits are rubbing off on me.”

“Oh, that’s not the only thing rubbing off on you,” Jungkook says wickedly and pushes his hips into yours, earning a fierce pinch to his bare waist.

“Hush, I’m trying to nap,” You mumble, your voice muffled. Without warning, you lick his neck and bite lightly at the base of his neck, ignoring his soft yelp. He doesn’t have a chance to question you on what that was, as you’re already falling asleep.

You’ve always thought from the beginning, even when you and Jungkook were just friends, that he was an ass man. You’ve caught him staring at your ass many, many times- in jeans, in a dress, in a skirt. And now that you both are officially together, he spends any and every moment he can with a hand on your ass. Casually, when you both walk side by side. And purposefully when you’re both just in his bed or on your couch. His hand is a well known presence on your ass, not that you’re complaining.

One of Jungkook’s favorite places to nap is on your ass, with his cheek pressed into you and one hand firmly gripping your ass. He also likes laying with his head on your lap. But his favorite place to nap is with his head buried in your chest, specifically buried in between your tits. He is currently analyzing his hypothesis that your right tit is smaller than your left, a thought he’s had for a while now, but needs further samples of evidence to properly assess.

But he’s always had an affinity for your tits, whether you’re blissfully unaware of it or not. You don’t notice it not really- you like any and all of his touches on any inch of your skin, as you’ve told him many times before. Especially when he holds you close next to him or under him and you feel protected, surrounded by only him.

He holds you, looks at you as if you’re as soothing as the sea and as bright as a supernova. And yet, the universe is contained in his big, doe eyes.

But really, at the end of the day, it’s an affinity for you. Jungkook loves every part of your mind, body, and soul, and he thinks he has for a long time. His heart has been tangled with yours since the first time he had seen you years ago at Hobi’s surprise birthday party that you had planned. Jungkook is sure that when he had seen you with a homemade red velvet cheesecake with a ‘Happy Birthday Hobi <3’ written perfectly in red icing in your arms, a silly party hat on your head, and a shy, beaming smile on your lips, he had been magnetized to your center of gravity from then on.

But even then, he had only hovered. Barely introducing himself, if it weren’t for Mina and Mei. He thought he had known girls like you- girls who baked cakes, planned elaborate birthday parties for their friends and wore flowery dresses liked other predictable people. It’s another one of his hypotheses (which has been clearly debunked)- but by now, he knows not to be so judgmental of others.

But he doesn’t dwell on that for long. Even the first time he met you, right after he had introduced himself to you and you had stared at him with starstruck eyes and stammered a quiet ‘hello’ in return, Sora had cornered him. And told him to back off from right then, that you were off limits. That you’d never be interested in a guy like him, so to not even spend a second in his stupid little mind even entertaining the ridiculous idea.

So he backed off subconsciously, thinking it wasn’t worth it to even know you as a friend. He’d convinced himself that it was too much trouble, and Jungkook has always been an easygoing kind of guy in most instances. After all, your best friend would know you best, right? And really, what did he care? As the saying goes, there were about a million other fish in the sea.

However. Even then, with each word uttered between you both, with each laugh that he pulled from your soft mouth, he couldn’t help the reluctant fondness for you that began to bloom. You had surprised him every few months after that, just saying hello at events that you were both present at and asking how he was. With that stupidly beautiful smile and those bright, shy eyes.

You were a smart, kind woman, always remembering details about others. And he was no exception.

That was years ago. He’s known you since your third year at university, hanging by a thread just outside your orbit. But this is now.

This is now, and your lips are against his neck, your chest pressed to his. You climb into his lap haphazardly, nearly knocking your mug off of the coffee table. You both have only just woken up and stumbled out of bed for coffee and breakfast. You had combed the tangles out of his bedhead with his head in your lap, but now sleepiness has washed away and you’re tugging at his oversized shirt.

You promptly bite him, right where his neck tattoo starts and ends. Jungkook meets your eyes with an incredulous, breathy laugh. “What’s gotten into you?” He murmurs, palming your chest from under your shirt.

“Nothing. You just have a very biteable neck, I told you,” You say, resuming your inspection of the vein next to his tattoo, “What a juicy jugular vein-”

Jungkook holds your wrist and flips you so that your back is on the couch. “My sexy vampire girlfriend. Love when she starts talking about my jugular vein.”

“Watch out, I might drink from it. You never know,” You giggle with a wink, squirming in his grip.

“You can do whatever you want,” Jungkook murmurs but then an idea that has been planted in his head for weeks now spills from his lips without him meaning to, “I wanna fuck your tits, baby.”

Your eyes go comically wide, mimicking Jungkook’s own. His cheeks are a little pink from his abrupt confession as silence falls between you both.

“That’s really interesting,” You muse.

“Is it?” He asks, feeling a little lightheaded. You tug a little at his purple locks to pull him down to you.

“Yeah. Always thought you liked booty. And legs,” You shrug, “But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

Jungkook’s throat is too dry for him to reply coherently. But he finds his voice after you give him a reassuring smile, “Uh, when it’s you, I like everything.”

“Me too. When it’s you, I like everything,” You mumble, heat rising in your cheeks, “And uh… you can. Do that I mean.”

“Do what?” He asks teasingly, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t play dumb,” You whine, shoving his shoulder.

“C’mon say it,” Jungkook jeers, not unkindly, “Put your big girl panties on.”

“I hate you,” You sigh dramatically, “Fine. You can fuck my tits, if you so desire.” His face splits into a grin as he thumbs your chin and ducks his head into your neck. He playfully nips at your skin, murmuring that he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine, but you feel his half hard cock pressing against your thigh.

The image of his cock wet and slick between your tits is now imprinted in your mind, and when both of you want something, you’ll surely get it.

Despite your eagerness of making Jungkook’s wish a reality, neither of you have had the chance for your usual shenanigans just yet. You still have quite a few days of your staycation left, so you won’t rush it. You had spent most of the first two days sleeping, cuddling, spooning, eating and lots and lots of slow sex.

You think you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve left your bed. Jungkook has been nothing short of wonderful, bringing you food (just this once, you hate eating while in bed), giving you shoulder rubs and booty rubs without you asking. Your favorite ice cream is in your freezer. Life is good.

His shirt hangs off of your shoulder and you’re too lazy to fix it. In fact you’re too lazy for pajama bottoms, only settling on your favorite pair of comfortable panties (nothing flashy. Just a standard black cotton panty) to wear under your shirt. One might even call them granny panties or whatever, but lace was uncomfortable on your skin. Lace and thongs are for very, very special occasions (hardly if ever) and you are in the comfort of your own home. You’ll be comfortable if it’s the last thing you do.

In fact, you’re too lazy to even raise your head to pucker your lips for a kiss from Jungkook. You only open your arms and hum, as if he’s supposed to telepathically know what you want from him. But he does, and he flops onto you once he tugs his shirt off. Jungkook’s face remains buried in your chest as you gently rub his scalp.

He hums happily, nearly purring at your touch and shoves himself closer into your hold. You can’t believe this man, the man who mildly intimidated you for years, is now in your arms and purring like a baby kitten. He’s admitted a few times that his scalp has been irritated and inflamed ever since he dyed his hair purple. One of his favorite things is to lay in your lap while you massage a mix of coconut oil and peppermint oil into his scalp.

He looks up at you, warm heat blazing in his eyes. You’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about but he palms your pussy from under your shirt- your still swollen, puffy pussy from the four times he’s made you cum already.

“Can I help you, Jungkook,” You ask flatly, but your poker face breaks when he dots you with kisses up and down your thighs.

“Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook groans, voice slowing to a whine, “I’m still hard, baby, fuck. Help me.”

“How are you still hard,” You wonder with a grin, “Damn, Jeon. You must really like me, huh?”

“If that wasn’t obvious then I’m clearly not doing something right here,” He breathes into your skin.

“Gimme a kiss then,” You murmur, pushing his long hair behind his ear. His eyebrow piercing glints in the light of your bedroom and you trace it gently with your fingertips. Jungkook desperately pushes his lips to yours, parting your lips easily and slipping his tongue into your mouth. He kisses your teeth hungrily, strands of his hair brushing against your cheeks.

His hips roll into yours impatiently, hands already pawing at your shirt. The air in your bedroom is suddenly so stifling, thick and nearly choking you both with the intensity of your desire. You just want him to feel good with you.

“Jungkook,” You say softly with warm cheeks, “You can use me, however you want. Tell me what you want, bunny.”

He lets out a quiet gasp, his eyes bright and wide.

You’re both on the same page, because he’s scrambling to chuck his boxers to the side and you’re tossing your shirt on top of his boxers.

***********************

“Fuuuck,” Jungkook groans. He’s breathless, heart racing erratically. All he can do is hold your shoulders as he watches with a piercing, hazy gaze as his cock is swallowed in between your tits. You squeeze them tightly together, trying to create as much friction as you can for him.

“Fuck,” He whines, “Fuck, you look so good, baby. O-oh, shit, my pretty baby, you’re pretty-”

Jungkook nearly cums when you mischievously stick your tongue out to brush against the head of his leaking cock. The visual is almost too much for him and his breaths are choked, strangled as he forces himself to look into your dark eyes.

“So big, bunny, look,” You say softly, “You like this? You’re so hot like this…”

He’s nearly in tears, eyes shining and wet at how good this feels. If your pussy was a slice of heaven, then your tits were the next best thing. You moan softly, feeling your own wetness and heat pooling. Jungkook’s cheeks and chest are flushed, eyes wild and wet as he slides his cock in between the valley of your tits languidly. Almost as if he doesn’t want the moment to end.

You’re so warm, warm everywhere.

His muscles are tense, the furrow in his brow beginning to appear when he’s about to cum. “Shit, baby, oh my god, I love your tits,” Jungkook moans, tossing his head back, “Fuck, I love everything about you-”

You don’t know how he’s able to form coherent sentences to you when he’s this close to cumming. But he’s always been a man of many talents.

“You know what I just realized,” You gasp suddenly, “Neither of us made it official that we’re dating. Like I never asked you ‘out’ and you never asked me ‘out’-”

“Fuck, you talk too much,” Jungkook nearly snarls, “My cock is literally in between your tits and I’m about to fucking cum all over you and you think I belong to anyone else?”

You swallow thickly, Jungkook narrowing his eyes at you. He looks intimidating and intense above you, his powerful, golden thighs straddling either side of you.

“N-no, I was just-”

Jungkook shoots you a glare, reaches behind him and gathers your wetness with two fingers. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he pushes two fingers into your mouth to shut you up. You send him a glare right back, but it melts away quickly when you swirl your tongue and suck on his digits.

He cums without warning, hastily and with a broken sort of sound ripping from his throat. It’s warm and sticky as it lands on your chest and your cheek. But he cums so much and much to your chagrin some of his cum gets in your eye and you nearly shriek at the burn.

“Jungkook! What the hell, your cum is in my fucking eyeball-”

He’s still panting above you, like some sort of golden boy, and it takes him a few seconds to register your irritation. “Oh shit,” Jungkook says and jumps into action. He tugs you into the bathroom to gently wash your eye for you (after washing his own hands), with you grumbling the entire time.

“I’m sorry, baby,” He says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. You roll your eyes and demand to be taken back to bed and lavished in kisses as penance for his cum shooting into your eye.

Jungkook tastes himself a little when his tongue slips into your mouth, but it hardly registers as he rolls on top of you, caging you in between his arms.

Jungkook fleetingly thinks he should’ve spent more time trying to convince you to stay home with him. Maybe with a few soft, long kisses to your neck, he might have. You looked delectable, good enough to eat- your dress fitted around your hips, nails, hair, and makeup done, the scent of your perfume subtle but not irritating to his sensitive nose.

You had asked him to pick what jewelry to wear, so one of his long necklaces sitting around your neck and disappearing into the valley of your chest. It doesn’t really match with your dress, but you don’t care.

And Jungkook… well, it was difficult for you to keep your hands off of him as well. His hair is tied back into a neat ponytail, he’s wearing a sequined black (fitted) button up with the top four buttons undone, a thick, silver chain and ripped, black jeans. Your eyes are glued to his chest and he knows it- you can’t help but grip his arm, his bicep whenever you can.

Neither of you really enjoyed the club scene, but you had wanted to go out since it had been a really long time and after all, you were on your staycation. Mei had planted the idea in your head, and so now here Jungkook was.

Here he was, catching flashes off the satin, coral colored wrap dress that you were encased in. For someone who doesn’t like the scene, you blend in effortlessly. But you’re a grown woman, so he takes his eyes off of you and orders a round of shots for him, Jimin, Taehyung and Jin while nursing a bottle of soju.

In the midst of the thumping bass bouncing off of the walls in the club, you’re only aware of you and Mei while you both sing along to whatever song is blasting through the club. Mina disappeared a while ago, presumably to find Jimin.

You’re holding two drinks, one in each hand, and all you feel is the vibrations of the club. Along with your own drunkenness. Mei holds your arm to keep you steady as you move your hips in time with hers. You laugh loudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders at something she said. Everything is amplified and muted at the same time, the swirl of alcohol settling comfortably in your veins.

You’re having a great time with your friends, dancing, swirling, singing and drinking. It’s a nice night to unwind, in the company of dear friends and strangers.

“Hey,” Mei murmurs in your ear, “I gotta pee and I’m gonna go find Seulgi-”

“You can just say that you wanna go find her,” You giggle, “Don’t blame your bladder on it, Mei.”

“Oh, you’re funny. I’ll text Jungkook and tell him to come find you, alright?” Mei says, patting your head. You nod and tell her to go find her girl, and she does. Leaving you to your own devices for a bit, at least until Jungkook makes his way to you.

However, what neither of you realize is that the cell reception in this building is terrible. Mei’s text never goes through and you stay in your bubble, with your two drinks in your hands and bounce along to the music.

You’re not sure how much time goes by, but it feels like you’ve been alone for quite a while. You squint your eyes at your phone to check the time and send a text to Jungkook. A text that never goes through. You frown and are about to turn on your heel to link up with your man (wherever he might be), but you hear a surprised call of your name.

It’s hard to keep the incredulity out of your face when you come face to face with Yunho, the man who had stood you up all those months ago. The air has almost been punched out of your lungs, and you have to squint at him to believe what you’re seeing.

He calls your name again, giving you a wave and a bright smile. “Funny seeing you here, huh?”

“Uh…”

“Can I buy you a drink? I feel like I owe it to you after…” His eyes are sincere. At least you think so, with your drunk goggles on.

“I don’t know, Yunho, it’s okay…” You mumble unsurely, “Isn’t this weird?”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird,” Yunho says and pulls a chuckle out of you.

“Oh, alright. I guess a drink won’t hurt,” You shrug and lead the way to the bar. The least he can do for you after standing you up and hurting your feelings is buy you a drink, you think.

“Hey listen, I owe you an apology,” Yunho says, sliding your drink towards you.

“Oh, it’s- it was a long time ago,” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. Sure, it was a hit to your ego, but in hindsight it doesn’t matter. Not when you have Jungkook. Honestly, you’ve forgotten that Yunho had even been a blip in your radar once upon a time. It was only because of Sora, anyway.

“I had something urgent come up last minute that day and I asked Sora to tell you,” Yunho continues, “I’m sorry I didn’t follow up or even reach out to you after. But I’d heard that you were with Jeon now, so didn’t want to… overstep, I guess.”

And even through your drunken haze, you understand. You sigh deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Oh boy,” You groan, “Sora never told me about that but we’re not close anymore, Yunho. It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry she got you, too.”

Yunho’s lips part in surprise, “She didn’t… Alright. What’s done is done, I guess.”

“Yeah,” You murmur airily, “And yes, I am with Jeon. Though I can’t seem to find him…”

“I’m happy to keep you company until you do.”

Despite how well you and Yunho seem to hit it off (most of your time spent bitching about Sora), you can’t help but think of Jungkook. You quite miss him, not having seen him all night in the club. You want to dance with him, and little do you know that he’s been scouring the entire club for you in a frenzy once he ran into Mei and Mina and hadn’t seen you with them.

He had sent them a glare, his jaw clenched and walked away to find you. So when his eyes finally land on you at the bar, after about twenty-five minutes of searching and trying to get through strings of people around you, his heart soars. But he sees you laughing with someone else at the bar. With Yunho.

Jealousy is petty, he tells himself. But he struggles to keep it at bay as it rears its head and comforts him. He’s always been protective and possessive of those he loves and cherishes. You’re definitely no exception.

You wobble a little on your feet, but you hold your own. Even from here, he can see the drunkenness of your smile, beads of sweat as they race down your neck to hide in the valley of your breasts. He zeroes in on your necklace (his) around your neck and reminds himself. It’s his necklace that you’re wearing, after all.

Then why is the man who stood you up all those months ago making you laugh like that?

You must have a sixth sense or something for him, because you turn your head a bit as if you can sense him. Your entire face lights up when you see him, in a way that makes his tough heart swell in adoration.

You make your way over to him with your drink and peck his lips chastely, despite his desire to pull you into his arms and kiss you long enough that your knees buckle. So that Yunho sees that he is yours.

“You disappeared on me, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, adjusting your necklace. He’s gripping it tightly, but you don’t notice.

“I was with Yunho, remember him? ‘Member, he stood me up but he didn’t because it was Sora’s fault-”

“That’s no surprise,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. You take his hand, squeezing and introduce him to Yunho. As if he doesn’t know him already. Jungkook’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenched. He doesn’t like how Yunho looks at you, how his gaze lingers on your skin and the curves of your dress. You lean against Jungkook heavily, absently playing with his fingers. You stay mostly quiet, sipping your drink as the two men speak (rather tersely).

Jungkook knows he’s being ridiculous.

“Kook, finish my drink?” You murmur, offering him the glass. Jungkook maintains eye contact with Yunho as he downs the remainder of your drink in a few solid gulps.

“Was nice to see you, Yunho,” You say, “I think Jimin and Mina are looking for us, Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

With that Jungkook firmly holds your waist, keeping you close to him. You both know that neither Jimin nor Mina are looking for either of you. You’d only wanted to be alone with Jungkook.

So Jungkook leads you to a spot where he knows Yunho can visibly see you both. You let loose, giggling as Jungkook twirls you easily and moving your arms to match the beat of the music. He makes you laugh with his moves, winking at you and shooting finger guns at you as he twirls and swivels around you. He’s always been a great dancer, you realize. That’s funny, because you’re sometimes clumsy on your own two feet. He pulls you into him, his chest to your back and his hips pressed against your ass. You sigh contentedly, head lolling against his shoulder and you rest your hand over his hand to let him lead you.

His nose is buried in your neck, lips lightly brushing your pulse. He bites your earlobe gently, earning a soft laugh from you. Jungkook tilts your jaw to the side to meet your eyes and plants a deep kiss to your glossy lips. He holds you steady when your knees weaken, your belly flipping at the intensity that he pours into you.

Jungkook is all around you, encasing you within his arms and there’s not a single place you’d rather be. When you pull away for air, you thumb away your gloss on his bottom lip and bite his bottom lip gently.

“I adore you,” You say dreamily, “You are so… Everything. Everything. I adore you.”

Jungkook’s cheeks burn, but he ducks his head for another sharp kiss. And if Yunho is watching him shove his tongue down your throat and holding your hips to his possessively then that’s fine by him.

The journey back home is a quick one (after you both stop for fried noodles, despite the inevitable heartburn it’ll give you both the next day but you’re both so hungry). You both stumble into your home in a mess of giggles and groping, nearly falling to the floor due to your clumsiness.

Jungkook has been hard since he kissed you in the club, in front of Yunho. He knew Yunho had been watching, feeling the man’s eyes on you both the entire time. His jealousy has crawled back into the box that it was unleashed from, but he knows that’s something to revisit later.

Something else to revisit is that he liked that someone else was watching him with you. He stores that information for later, instead focusing on keeping you upright from falling.

Somehow, through your blurry vision and wobbly legs, you get on your knees and palm Jungkook’s cock through his pants. A shameless moan rips through you- any and every inch of him makes you dizzy with desire.

You like him so much that it nearly makes you cry.

“Gonna blow you now,” You announce happily, fumbling with the button of his jeans and using all of your concentration and strength to pull his pants down along with his boxers. You sloppily kiss your way down his chest, spending extra time on his tattoo and licking (then biting) his happy trail before humming around his leaking cock.

He’s so wet already, and it’s all because of you.

Jungkook groans, eyes closing in pleasure as your pretty mouth wraps around his cock. He thrusts lightly into your mouth, peeling his eyes open to watch you. Only to find you already staring up at him, your makeup smudged and tears already forming in your pretty eyes. He cradles your cheek affectionately, stroking your cheekbone-

But before he can compliment you, softly praise you, he hears a noise. It originates from the back of your throat, something both familiar and unfamiliar. You gag uncontrollably around his cock, and while it’s certainly not the first time it’s happened, it’s different this time. Because you’re a little drunk. So he should be unsurprised when you retch on his cock, pull yourself off of him before your drunk self can get any more vomit on his cock and sprint into your bathroom.

You manage to lock the door in your frenzy of utter humiliation and alcohol addled mind. You hover over the toilet bowl, the sounds of you throwing up bouncing off of the walls. You’re crying, sobbing more like it- from both the pain in your chest from vomiting violently into the toilet bowl coupled with the humiliation of quite literally throwing up on your boyfriend’s cock.

You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, as if that’ll erase the memory.

“Baby,” Jungkook calls softly, his cock fully hanging out in the open, “Baby, please open the door. It’s not a big deal, but I need to wash my dick off.”

You let out a choked, watery laugh at that and move to flush the toilet and rinse your mouth out. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment when you unlock your bathroom door, and you can’t bear to look Jungkook in the eye. But he holds your wrist to his when you try to escape into the safety of your bedroom.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest, heat flooding your ears in shame. It feels like your head is empty, static filling up the spaces that the silence between you both doesn’t.

“It’s just me,” Jungkook coos, “Do you want to shower with me?”

“Jungkook, ‘m absolutely mortified,” You say flatly, voice a little high in pitch as fresh tears burning behind your eyelids, “I want to evaporate from this plane of existence in about three-point-four seconds, I literally threw up on your penis, I’m so sorry. Don’t even look at me-”

Jungkook winces at your tone and the way your shoulders are hunched, hands gripping the hem of your dress unsurely.

“Baby,” Jungkook sighs, “It’s really okay, there’s nothing to apologize for. Come shower. The vomit is drying on my dick-”

But that’s the wrong thing to say because you start to cry immediately, shoving your face in your hands. Jungkook sighs, mentally kicking himself and running a hand through his purple locks. He calls your name softly and pulls you into his arms for a tight hug, despite the drying vomit on his dick, which is hanging out and brushes against your hip. You sniffle, peeking at him with shy eyes and he rubs your back soothingly.

“When I say it’s okay, I mean it,” Jungkook murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how drunk you were. I know you feel embarrassed, but it’s just me, baby.”

He kisses you, despite your protests, and helps you rinse your mouth again. You allow Jungkook to somehow maneuver you into the shower, peeling you out of your clothes. You feel grimy and sticky from the club and you’re grateful for the cool water against your skin. You stand behind Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face in between his shoulder blades, letting him wash himself.

“Can I wash you?” You whisper, voice unsure. You feel awful, cheeks burning but still. He nods and you take your body wash and lather him with it, washing his now limp dick gently and swallowing nervously.

“See? Not a big deal,” Jungkook says, coaxes you out of your nervousness, “Lemme wash you, baby.”

And so he does, taking your loofah and gently rubbing your skin. Under the cool spray of water, your nerves slip away with each giggle and kiss that he pulls and plants from your lips. Your eyes are still a little shy, a little slick with alcohol. But it’s just Jungkook, and you’re safe with him.

Jungkook nearly wrestles you to get you to eat something more, after throwing up the remainder of your guts after you both had showered (it was mainly just water and alcohol at this point). You’re nearly falling asleep on his shoulder but he manages to shake you awake for a slice of leftover noodles and two glasses of water. But eventually, he coaxes you into eating with a few kisses, hugs, and shoulder rubs.

Once you both are in bed, Jungkook wraps himself around you, his hands immediately drifting below your sleep shirt to your belly. Your cheeks burn as the events of the night replay in your mind’s eye and you press your face into your pillow with a groan.

“I can’t believe I threw up on your dick a-and you’re so nice a-about it,” You mumble, “You really are everything.”

“Well, what else am I going to do if the girl I like vomits on my dick,” Jungkook murmurs, “Don’t worry about it, baby. It happens.”

“To who? Only to me,” You say sadly, “I drank too much. I’m sorry, Kook-”

“Shhh,” Jungkook says, tightening his arms around you and kissing your forehead, “I promise it’s okay. I promise I’m not looking at you any differently.”

His words make you relax in his hold and you nod. Jungkook tilts your jaw towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You don’t say anything else after that, only allowing your soft, breathy sighs to spill out of your lips and into him with every comforting kiss and every slip of his tongue in your mouth.

He tells you to rest in between kisses, but your eyes are already closed.

**************************************

MOM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ultraanonymousey @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c @yeotan07

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[breadqueen95]

Dress - Bucky Barnes

bucky barnes x fem!reader

wc: 5k

plot: bucky and y/n’s relationship is new, and they don’t want to share with their friends just yet. but something as simple as a dress can change anyone’s mind, even the winter soldier. 

content warnings: kissing. physical affection. flirting. allusions to sex. drinking. being drunk. language. bucky being a flirt. 

a/n: this is for @natasha-romancff and her taylor swift writing challenge! it took me awhile, but i’ve had a ton of fun writing this. so many bucky fics are angsty, and rightly so the man has some TRAUMA. but for my first bucky fic, based on dress by taylor swift, i wanted something happier for him 

***

Damn. That was a lot of leg.

“I don’t know,” you muttered as you stared into the mirror, “aren’t these things…a little classier than this?”

“Uh…have you met Tony Stark?” Natasha grumbled as she continued to scroll through her phone. “The man has never been classy a day in his life.”

“Well I know he isn’t, but fancy people show up to these things. I just don’t want to embarrass myself.” You were currently standing in front of the full-length mirror in Wanda’s room, staring at the reflection of a woman who didn’t quite look like you.

But it was you, wasn’t it? It was just…that you was wearing a very short, very sexy red cocktail dress. The sweetheart neckline was a nice touch, but the back was completely open. And that hemline? Definitely hiked way up past your knees.

“Y/n, relax,” Wanda reassured in her lilting accent, “sure, the dress is a little…spicier…than you’re used to, but it’s in a good way.”

“I’m pretty sure every single person would be able to tell I spend my days in tactical gear. God, I’m not sure I even know how to walk in heels this high!”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Natasha threw her phone down and looked at you in the mirror. Her eyebrows were raised, and she was giving you her usual ‘don’t give me that shit’ look. It nearly had you shaking in your very strappy black heels.

“Are you kidding me, y/n? I’ve seen you strut in enough fancy parties during undercover missions to know that you’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” Wanda scoffed as she took a sip of red wine from her glass, “all she’s nervous about is what Bucky will think.”

Rolling your eyes, you tried to hide how much that sentence affected you.

“C’mon, Wanda. You know Bucky and I are just friends.”

“Do friends undress each other with their eyes whenever they’re in the same room?”

Damn it. Damn Wanda and her stupid perceptiveness.

“You’re reading too much into it, Wanda.” She just laughed at you, acting like she knew so much better.

What you knew and wasn’t ready to admit to your two best friends, was that she was right on the money.

Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter Soldier, your favorite person in the entire world, was now your boyfriend. He had been for a few weeks now. The two of you were insanely private people. Hell, it had been years before the two of you had finally learned everything about each other. Once you had gotten past the walls the other had so carefully crafted, well…

At that point you were in love.

But the others didn’t need to know that, not yet at least. The Avengers were a family, your family. They were really the only true family you’d ever had. But Bucky…Bucky was finally yours. And you were his. You didn’t think it was crazy to just want to enjoy that, just the two of you, without everyone else sharing their jokes and opinions just yet. They did it out of love, you both knew that, but you just wanted him all to yourself.

As you looked back at your reflection in the mirror, you took a minute to really consider what Bucky’s reaction might be. He had the best poker face in the room no matter who he was with, but you knew him well enough to know how he was feeling just based on his eyes. He’d always said how much he loved red on you, and he adored every and any excuse to touch your skin. Those steel blue eyes of his would absolutely burn once he saw you in this dress.

And fuck, that was something you really wanted to see.

“Well, if you aren’t going to wear that dress, you better pick something else,” Nat said, jerking you from your fantasies, “we need to be there in twenty minutes, and we all need to touch up our makeup.”

“Actually…I think I’ll wear it,” you said confidently, trying to hide your grin as you ran your hands down the silky fabric.

What you didn’t see was Natasha and Wanda sharing a secret smirk behind you, like they’d known what you’d do the whole time.

***

Six weeks ago, everything had changed for you and Bucky.

You’d known how you felt for a long time. Bucky Barnes, despite his past, was the kind of man anyone could fall in love with. He was sincere, kind, generous, witty…everything you’d ever wanted in a partner. He had been your best friend for even longer.

It had been a long time before you could even admit your feelings to yourself, let alone to him. After everything the two of you had been through, who had the time and mental capacity for romance? It just didn’t seem important. You just chalked up your feelings to being such close friends. All you wanted was to be near him, even if you just sat in silence doing different things. Just being in the same room as Bucky brought you a sort of peace you’d never had before. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a brief hug or brushing your back to get past you, your skin erupted into goosebumps. But that was just because physical touch was still foreign to you, right?

And his smile. God, his wonderful smile…

Bucky didn’t smile much. He hid behind a mask of stoicism, a remnant from the trauma of his horrible history as the Winter Soldier. Showing any sort of emotion, especially happiness, was hard for him. But when he finally let himself smile? It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever see.        

It took several sleepless nights wrestling with those confusing feelings to figure it out. You didn’t just see Bucky as your best friend. You had it bad. Not just “oh my god he’s so handsome” bad, like the “I would take a bullet for you I’m so in love” bad. That revelation? It left you euphoric. It also left you scared.

Because you were so sure Bucky didn’t feel the same. And that thought was like a knife to the heart every time it flashed through your mind.

So you kept it to yourself. You tried to keep things as normal as possible, but your heart kept fluttering whenever he walked into a room. Being so close to Bucky meant you confided in each other about pretty much everything, and he knew you well enough to know you were hiding something.

It all exploded on a Tuesday night in the compound.

Tuesdays were your movie nights. Bucky had a lot of pop culture to catch up on, so on this night every week he would come by your room to watch a movie. It was a weekly tradition that kind of started by accident. You were shocked he still hadn’t made time to watch Lord of the Rings, so you forced him onto your couch with popcorn and The Fellowship of the Ring. He loved it so much, and immediately asked if you guys could watch The Two Towers the next week. How could you say no to him?

Tonight, you were watching 13 Going on 30. It was your all-time favorite romcom, and you figured you could both use a break from all the action and fantasy movies you’d been cycling through. Something with a happy ending was worth indulging in.

“Does that Matt guy look like Banner to you? Or is it just me?” Bucky asked through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Heh, maybe a little,” you said, “Give or take a few years.” He laughed at that, and you forced yourself to laugh quietly. You wanted to blurt out your feelings every time you looked at Bucky, so you’d gotten quieter and quieter every time you spent time with him. It was an awful reaction, and you knew he noticed. But it was better than losing his friendship, right?

After that awful and painfully obvious forced laugh, Bucky let out a huge sigh and paused the movie. He set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table in front of the couch, then turned to face you. Exasperation and hurt glimmered in his eyes.

“Y/n, what the fuck is going on with you?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on, don’t give me that,” he said sharply, “I know you better than anyone, and I know for a fact there’s something you’re not telling me. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, god no!” You exclaimed.

“Well it must be something I did, because you’ve never been this quiet around me and it keeps getting worse. I hate it, and I want to know what I did so I can fix it.”

“Bucky, I’m serious, it’s nothing you did—”

“Then why? Why are you shutting me out?” He cut you off angrily, arms thrown wide. “You’re my best friend, I just don’t get why—”

“I don’t want you like a best friend, Bucky!” Your eyes went wide as the words flew from your lips. In the most comical way, you clapped your hand over your mouth as if you could stop the words that had already been said. Bucky’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

Oh fuck. He didn’t get it. Curse him and his old man ways.

“What does that even mean, Y/n? Are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”

“Bucky, of course not. God, I would never want that. Never in a million years.”

“Then you better explain, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m over 100 years old. I need a little help here.”

“It means, uh…um,” you stuttered, wringing your hands together. “Is there any chance we can just forget I said that?”

“Nope, not a chance.”

“It means…it means that I care about you. As more than a friend.”

His entire face seemed to crinkle as he processed that. If you weren’t freaking out, you’d be obsessing over how damn cute it made him look. Then his eyes got wide as he began to make the connection. Your stomach nearly fell out of your ass as his eyes lifted again to meet yours.

“I…I think I know what you’re saying,” he nearly whispered, “I just need you to get real specific real fast, because I’m not about to say anything until I know exactly what you mean.”

“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” You burst out. Even through your mortification, there was a sudden sense of relief. A secret as big as that had definitely been weighing you down. Now that it was out there, that was one less thing you had to worry about.

His eyes grew even wider. How that was possible, you didn’t even know. That beautiful mouth of his began to turn up into a small smile as he gazed softly at you.

“You’re in love with me?” He asked, his smile getting wider with each passing second.

“What, you need it carved into stone or something?” You couldn’t help but sass him. Did you fucking stutter?

“No, it’s just…I never thought you’d feel that way about me.”

“Well, clearly I do. So you – wait, you mean you’ve thought about this before?”

“Of course I have,” he said as he shrugged, “I’ve been in love with you for two years now, how could I not think about it?”

You were instantly filled with warmth and pure bliss. In all your obsessing over your own feelings, you’d never allowed yourself to consider that he might feel the same about you. It just didn’t seem possible.

“I’m sorry,” you burst out, holding a hand up, “you’re telling me you’ve been into me for two years and didn’t say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” He shot back, inching closer to you.

“Because you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you because of stupid feelings I have.”

“But…I have those same ‘stupid feelings’ for you. So can we just cut the whole act and get on with it?” Bucky brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your skin so gently.

“Uh…um…get on with what?”

“Well I’d kinda like to kiss you, if you’re cool with it.”

“Bucky Barnes did you just use current slang to ask if you could kiss me?” You didn’t move an inch as his face moved right in front of yours, breath intermingling as you gazed into each other’s eyes. God, was this really happening?

“Yeah, guess your lessons worked,” he murmured.

“Well you better kiss me, then.”

As soon as your lips met, it was like coming home.

***

That memory, your favorite memory, replayed in your head as the three of you stepped into the elevator. Nat and Wanda were happily chatting about who would be there, what kind of antics Tony would cook up tonight, if there would be music we could actually dance to. You know, normal party things.

All you could think about was how long you had to stay until you could sneak off with your boyfriend.

You were so happy Wanda and Natasha had convinced you to wear this dress. When you’d first put it on, the difference from your normal look was so jarring that it took you a few minutes to get used to it. But now that you had, now that you felt the silky fabric shifting against your skin as you moved, now that you saw how dangerously long your legs looked in these heels…

Damn, you felt sexy.

And that sexy feeling? It made you want Bucky’s hands all over you.

But this was a party. A party thrown by Tony Stark, one of the most perceptive and observant people you’d ever met. If you left too soon, if he thought you weren’t “having enough fun”, he’d be more than a little upset. So you had to stay, drink, mingle, maybe dance a little…and then, maybe later, you could go do what you actually wanted.

The elevator pinged, indicating you had reached the topmost floor of the compound. This floor was home to a huge communal space, often used for just hanging out with the team. But on nights like tonight, Tony went all out and turned the space into something that resembled…a club?

The three of you stepped out into the massive room, upbeat music already blasting from the speakers. Typical Tony – he never really outgrew his love for dancing and parties. The bass thrummed through your body, making you want to move to the music. The lights were dim, but you could still tell who was around. It looked like you were some of the last members of the team to arrive. There was a huge bar off to the side, and Natasha headed that way right away. You turned to ask Wanda if she wanted to follow Nat, but she was already making a beeline for Vision. Smiling, you just turned right back around to follow Natasha. A drink sounded pretty good right now.

As you made your way to the bar, you felt more than a few pairs of eyes on you as you walked. You sneakily looked around as you went, noticing men and women watching you with admiration, and dare you say it, longing. As someone whose job was to blend in with the background all the time, this was a different and slightly addictive feeling. You leaned on the bar next to Nat right as the bartender slid her drink over to her.

“Straight whiskey tonight? Damn, going hard.” You quipped.

“Hey now, you know I can handle my liquor. It’s you we need to watch out for, you lightweight.”

Laughing, you scanned the party guests, looking for the one person you wanted to see. Tony had had arm around Pepper’s waist, both laughing at something Rhodey had said. Bruce lingered around them, drink in hand and looking a little nervous, but still happy to be included. Wanda and Vision were sitting quietly on one of the couches, both looking absolutely smitten with each other. Scott Lang, one of the newest additions, was busting some moves, while Peter Parker laughed as he watched. Thor, who was visiting from Asgard, laughed boisterously as he watched various guests try to lift his hammer. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face. You loved these people so much.

Then, you saw him.

Bucky was with Sam and Steve, as usual. But even as Sam and Steve were talking animatedly next to him, those gorgeous blue eyes of his were glued to you. There was a kind of intensity in them you hadn’t seen before. Your breath whooshed from you body as he grinned at you. Trying to maintain the suggestive image your dress gave you, you managed to send a flirtatious smile his way, then turned back around to face the bar. Leaning against the counter, you knew he’d get an eyeful of your bare back. God, this was fun.

The bartender finally made his way over to you, and you ordered two tequila shots.

Nat turned to you, one eyebrow arched in surprise as she asked, “And you say I’m going hard? You can’t just down two shots right away, babe.”

“I’m not doing two shots; you think I’m stupid?” The bartender slid the shots over to you along with two lime wedges. “One is clearly for you.”

Unable to hold back a laugh, Natasha put her arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side as she said, “Why the fuck not, let’s do it.” The two of you went through the process: salt, shot, lime. You couldn’t help but wince as you downed the harsh liquor. Of all the shots in the world, tequila probably tasted the worst. The only reason you kept going for it was the warmth it traced down your body, and you felt your muscles begin to loosen up.

“Two more,” you called over to the bartender.

“Uh, no,” Natasha shot at you, grabbing her whiskey, and pushing off the bar, “I’m good with my top shelf shit, you keep going after that gasoline if you want but I’m out.”

“C’mon, Nat,” you called out, “what am I gonna do with two shots?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else, babe.” She said with a wave over her shoulder.

Sighing, you turned back to the ridiculously pretty bar (seriously, how much had Tony paid for this thing?). Who else would help you look cool and sexy at a bar for your secret boyfriend?

Okay, that was the cringiest thought you’d ever had. Gross.

As the bartender slid the tequila in front of you, you steeled yourself for the nastiness that was about to happen.

“Fuck, I didn’t think this through,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, you tend to do that,” a deep voice answered on your right. Instead of being the slightest bit surprised, you couldn’t help but smile. You’d know that voice anywhere.

“Something I can do for you, Barnes?” You looked up at him from under your lashes.

“Well, it looks like you’ve got an extra shot there. Thought I could bail you out.”

“Is that all?”

Bucky shifted so that your arms were just barely touching. His hand was right next to yours, and you reached out with your pinky to lightly brush his.

“Doll, you have the gall to show up in that dress and ask what I want as if you don’t already know?”

“Sorry Buck, I’m a little slow, must be the tequila. You should probably be a little clearer.”

Putting on quite the show of reaching for one of the shots, his mouth somehow ended up right next to your ear.

“I want you.”

It was lucky everyone was so distracted and couldn’t see how you shuddered at his words. Trying to maintain brain function, you managed to take the shot with him. You were now fully facing each other. He was wearing the cockiest smirk you’d ever seen, one that would put Tony Stark to shame. You couldn’t help but respond with that same energy despite the jitteriness his three little words had reduced you to.

“Well why don’t you—”

“Hello, my friends!” A booming voice sounded between you as Thor threw a huge arm over each of you. Bucky, with his stupid super soldier strength, didn’t really have a reaction to it. You, on the other hand, stumbled a little under the weight and force of it. “It’s so good to be back with you tiny humans.”

Was…was he slurring his words?

“Thor…are you drunk right now?”

He simply laughed in response. Well, that answered that.

“Of course I am, tiny person! It can’t be a party without good Asgardian wine.”

“Wait…you have literal god wine?” Bucky, who had a look of vague irritation on his face up to this point, now looked interested. Maybe even a little excited?

“Of course, metal appendage.”

“Dude, you can’t just call Bucky ‘metal appendage’—”

“He can if he lets me have some,” Bucky interrupted.

“We have a bargain!” Thor slapped Bucky on the back before scurrying back over to where he had come from, probably to get the wine he had promised.

“Bucky, you can’t even get drunk,” you hissed, “what exactly is the point of this?”

“Since everything happened, I haven’t found any alcohol strong enough to get me drunk. I figure god wine is worth a shot.”

“Bucky—”

“When I kiss you against a wall later, I wanna be a little tipsy,” he whispered in your ear, “that cool with you?”

Unable to keep yourself from smiling again, you nodded as Thor sauntered back over. Ever since that moment a few weeks ago, right before he kissed you for the first time, asking “is that cool with you?” had become your thing.

And the idea of Bucky kissing you against a wall? Yeah, that sounded pretty good.

***

As it turns out, Asgardian wine is just as potent as Thor had promised.

For the first time in over seventy years, Bucky Barnes was certifiably drunk. It made him feel like the Bucky from all those years ago, and it was the most incredible thing. Here he was, over 100 years old, partying, and all his favorite people were here.

Including his ridiculously hot girlfriend.

Even as they both flitted around the party, Bucky and y/n still found each other’s eyes, even from across the room. They would send winks, smiles, even funny faces. All he wanted to do was be right next to her, talk and dance with her all night…

But they had agreed. They wanted to keep their relationship a secret for now, keep the attention off of them for a bit while they got to know each other in this new way.

But god damn, that dress.

Y/n in red was…indescribable. It didn’t matter what she wore, she was always the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. But in red? In this dress?

She was breathtaking.

“Buck, you breathing?”

A hand waved in front of his face, snapping Bucky’s attention back to the people around him from Y/n’s back. He had been imagining putting his hands all over that back later and had gotten more than a little mesmerized. He managed to get his eyes to refocus, finding a drunk Sam smirking right next to him and an even drunker Steve dancing next to him. But what Steve was doing couldn’t really be called ‘dancing’ per say…more like an aggressive wiggle.

“Why wouldn’t I be breathing?” Of all the things he could’ve said to get Sam’s attention off of him, that wasn’t it.

“Uh, probably because the girl you’re in love with decided to show up and show off tonight? Pretty sure you’re drooling, man.”

Despite himself, Bucky slapped a hand across his mouth, only reducing Sam to wheezing laughter. Knowing he had been caught, he rolled his eyes and grimaced a little. Of all the people to catch him, he wished it hadn’t been Sam.

“I wasn’t…staring… at y/n, I just never see her dressed up is all.”

“I never said anything about the girl being y/n.”

“…fuck.”

“LANGUAGE,” Steve yelled out, pointing a finger at his two friends before returning to his shimmying.

Turning back to him, Sam added, “Just go be with her, Buck. You’re not fooling anyone, and neither is she.”

“We’re that obvious?”

“A few weeks ago you’d at least try to hide it. Now I’m surprised you’re not jumping each other’s bones right here right now.”

“Point taken,” Bucky said, lightly slapping Sam’s shoulder before power walking over to his girl.

***

“Nat, if you don’t stop asking about Bucky and I’s relationship, I’m going to kick you,” you called over the music before taking another swig from your glass. It was no Asgardian wine, but the human stuff wasn’t half bad in your opinion. It wasn’t like you could drink the god shit, anyway. If you had even one sip, you’d be swinging from the ceiling like Miley fucking Cyrus. You were pretty drunk as it was.

“Okay, fine,” she said with a shrug as she took a sip of her whiskey, still as calm and collected as ever. “You’re almost as drunk as he is, you’ll be talking soon enough.”

“Oh? Is that your spy master plan?”

Natasha was still looking as unbothered as ever, but as she looked across the room over your shoulder, her face split into a savage grin.

“It was, but it looks like I might not need it.”

“What do you me—”

Your words were cut off as a large, warm hand enclosed around yours. Whirling around, you were suddenly face to face with the man himself. Bucky was clearly having a good time. His mouth was relaxed into the cutest smile you’d ever seen him wear, and he moved without his normal stiffness and intensity. He threaded your fingers together, smiling down at you with so much love it was a wonder Nat hadn’t said anything yet.

Looking back in front of you, ready to explain yourself, you only found empty air. Guess she’d seen all she needed to, but honestly, you really didn’t care. All you’d wanted the whole night was to be exactly where you were right now; hand in hand with the man you loved.

“We’re just kidding ourselves, doll,” Bucky called next to your ear, “Sam said we’ve been pretty obvious.”

“Nat said the same,” you answered with a sheepish smile, “kind of hard to keep my face under control when you’ve got that leather jacket on.”

“You’re blaming me?” He asked with mock indignation. “You’re the one who looks,” he gestured wildly to your whole body, “like that!”

Trying ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks, you shot back, “Like what?”

“Like the most…” he screwed his face up in the most adorable way as he searched for words, “like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” As the last few words tumbled out of his mouth, he gazed at you with such a softness you almost melted right into the floor.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked, finally giving up the game. It was pointless, really. Now, all you wanted to do was for your boyfriend to keep his promise and kiss you against a wall.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, he answered, “Absolutely.” Without looking at a single soul, the two of you began walking as quickly as you could for the exit. You and Bucky were both leaning on each other a bit, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stepping out into the light of the hallway, you blinked as your eyes adjusted after the dark room you’d spent the last few hours in. Bucky led you until you were right in front of the elevator, and he lazily pressed the button to go up. There was tension in the air between you, like a thread that was being pulled. Biting your lip, you stared at the doors in front of you. You knew if you so much as looked at the man next to you, you’d jump him right then and there.

The shining doors slid open, and the pair of you walked in, his strong arm still around your waist. His grip wasn’t loose in any sense of the word. Bucky kept you right next to him, even as your legs wanted to drift all over the place. You pressed the button for the residential floor.

As soon as those doors slid shut, that thread of tension snapped.

Bucky whirled you to face him, then walked you backward until you were pressed against the wall of the elevator.

“I promised I’d kiss you against the wall, didn’t I?”

He didn’t even wait for a response. His mouth was on yours in an instant, lips moving together like a dance. The kiss was slow and unhurried. You tried to bring him closer, linking your hands behind his neck and pressing yourself to him. Instead of responding in kind, he unwound your arms from around him and pinned them above your head.

Oh damn.

Okay.

No complaints here.

“You’ve been teasin’ me all night just by wearing that dress, sweetheart,” he murmured in between the kisses he trailed down your jaw, “I think it’s my turn.”

“Would it change your mind knowing I only wore this dress so you could take it off?”

The heat that bloomed in those blue eyes of his was unmistakable. As the doors opened on your floor, he swept you up into his arms and began to walk purposefully to his apartment. All the while, he kept that signature cocky smirk of his you’d come to adore.

“Bucky?” You asked once he’d walked into his unit.

“That sentence was the single most attractive thing you’ve ever said,” he murmured as he set you down. Even still, he kept you pressed against him. “But nah, I’m a patient guy. I think I’ll take my time.” He followed this by resuming his slow and sensual kisses, and you couldn’t help but melt into them.

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that, doll. I love you too.”

***

[finiffy]

Well, shit. He's really doing this, huh? Clef leans back in the secondhand sofa, propping his feet up on the coffee table. The man across from him grimaces, but says nothing.

"So," Glass starts, "why are you so against doing this?"

Clef snorts. "Me? Why would I be? You know I'm not some touchy feely type, Glassy."

The therapist sighs, the end of his pen tapping against the clipboard. Clef considers throwing it out the window.

"Therapy isn't touchy feely, Clef. This is about understanding and processing your emotions."

"I dunno, sounds pretty touchy feely to me."

A frown. Clef grins, just to be contradictory.

"Maybe to you." Glass pauses. "Is expressing how you feel hard for you?"

He can't help but laugh. His clothes are still stained with blood, face smudged by a hasty wipe.

"I think I make myself pretty damn clear, wouldn't you say? They say murder is the purest form of expressing boundaries."

Glass holds back another sigh. "No one says that."

"Really?" Clef lights a cigarette. He doesn't smoke. "I just did, right now. Checkmate."

Glass doesn't dignify that retort with a response, instead jotting something down on his clipboard.

"That's different though, isn't it? You never said why you did it, or what feelings compelled you to."

"Maybe I was just bored."

"I doubt that."

Clef wishes he could shoot him right now. He wishes that he could tell him everything. He does neither.

He shrugs. "It's just not my thing. I know you love your complexes or whatever nerd shit you do, but it's not that deep."

"Clef." Glass' tone is even, but dripping with desperation. "You have a serious psychological condition caused by repeated trauma. You've been gone two weeks. It is, in fact, that deep."

He leans back in the sofa. Two weeks. He wants to say that he wasn't gone he was just "Francis", who exists as little as "Alto Clef", because a rose by any other name is still the same bastard.

But he can't. He doesn't remember a damn thing. There's shapes, vague scenery of a bar and a beach play foggily in his head, but those memories aren't his. They're Francis', who exists just as much as Alto Clef.

Fuck.

"I know it's hard to process," Glass continues. "But... you really should."

Clef is a liar. He twists any truth he can find, manipulates it for his own ends. But there's no convincing way he can spin this. So, he just shrugs again.

"So? What's this got to do with this whole therapy thing?"

"Clef, it is literally a psychological disorder."

"Yeah, one that means this ain't my problem." He exhales cigarette smoke. "The whole deal is we've got our own little 'roles', yeah? Well, my role is not dealing with this sentimental bullshit."

"...What?"

He crushes the cigarette in his fist. "You've been active duty, yeah? Imagine that, but being caught off guard could restructure reality itself, and getting too emotional could get you shot dead by your own task force. You'd probably want some kind of mask to wear, someone who can decieve his way through interactions with allies and enemies alike. Someone who's not weighed down by some shit home life, whose powers don't act up all the time.

No, Francis can manage all that drama. I just need to do my job. If you want someone to talk to about that shit, ask him. God fucking knows he's done enough of that already."

An extended pause.

"I see," Glass says, and he does. That's what Clef hates the most.

"There. Did you get what you wanted? Are you satisfied, being a voyeur to whatever fucked up shit I've got going on? 'Cause I've got shit to do—"

"That's not what this is." His voice is firm. "I'm not asking you these things because I want to force you to talk about things you're not ready for. That won't help, and I want to help. You don't need to tell me about what happened, or how it makes you feel, or any other struggles that you don't feel comfortable sharing. Just visit, alright? That's all I ask."

He wants to kill someone again. He wants to peel away this mask and start over. He wants to go rogue and vanish completely.

"...Fine."

Glass smiles. "Thank you. You can go now." As Clef stands up to leave, he speaks again. "And, Clef?"

He look over, expecting another invasive question that tests his impulse control to not kill everyone in this damn place. Instead, Glass hands him a small notebook.

"For communication," he explains. "Since you can't hear each other, and have memory gaps, this should help you feel more in control of this. You can write down your day, or messages for the other, even a shopping list, it's up to you."

Clef wants to thank him. He doesn't. He grabs the notebook, and walks out the door.

---

I'll send this one because I like it better! -francis

Aaaaa this is really good, holy shit. You got the characterization here down for Clef and I like it, thanks for sharing this fic

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

Hi Anna!! Happy Blorbo Blursday!

Time for a fuck ton of asks, as is my trademark. <3

Which of your OC's are neurodivergent? What would their diagnosis be in modern times? What are their neurodivergent traits/tendencies?

Which OC's are cat people? Dog people? Both? Niether?

Who can ride a horse well, and who can barely stay in the saddle?

Tell me about Captain Cassandra. Anything you want. As much as you want.

Tell me everything about Raven. (I am head of his protection squad now, btw. /lh)

Tell me about Triveya and her relationship with her magic.

For the entire main cast: what are their Fatal Flaws? (bonus, are they aware of it?) (idk if I've asked before, but it's my all-time fave question, so here it is again.) (LIST if you need it)

That's all for now! Have fun!

~ Morri (@memento-morri-writes)

Morri :DDDDD!!! Happy Blorbo Blursday!!!

As usual, all of your questions are fantastic and I will be answering in detail under the cut:

Which of your OC's are neurodivergent? What would their diagnosis be in modern times? What are their neurodivergent traits/tendencies?

!!!! Neurodivergent characters YESSSSS !!!! You bet your ass I have nd characters! (I like to write nd as a shortcut for neurodivergent btw)

Because I am nd myself all of my characters end up being nd coded, but I do write quite a few characters with explicit disorders/disabilites in mind.

Triveya is Autistic and has ADHD (and she's a burntout former gifted kid), Raven is autistic (he masks a lot), Princess Hestia has an anxiety/panic disorder, Sapphire has ADHD (she doesn't mask much), Prince Kaye has OCD, and the whole FSF crew has trauma and mental health issues on top of that. Now I shall talk about each of my specifically nd babies in detail:

Triveya- she has a very bubbly personality, and is a super compassionate and kind person. Being raised at a boarding school, she suppresses her other autistic and ADHD traits, like stimming, and having no control over her body language, lack of auditory processing, and facial expressions. She rarely drops the mask, even when alone she masks so hard it takes a physical toll- until her new friends help her feel safe and accepted enough that she can let go and unmask a lot more. She struggles with executive dysfunction, lack of dopamine, memory, sensory issues, social cues, and starting/finishing tasks. Her favorite stims are fiddling with the charms she wears, making swirly colors and little fireworks with magic, and making clicking noises with her mouth or humming. She can and will infodump everything she knows about magic at any moment, as magic itself is her special interest.

Raven- similar to Triveya, Raven masks a lot, which is due to his military training and just society in general. Though he does take more breaks to let himself unmask when he's alone, and makes accommodations for himself unlike Triveya. His new friends help him unmask even more, especially around them. He struggles with social cues, has a ton of sensory issues, and he stims a lot. His favorite stim is braiding anything and everything, hair, leather strips, flower stems, all of it. He also helps Triveya with the autistic struggles, is her biggest supporter, and the leader of the Triveya Defense Squad. Sometimes he hyperfixates on the people he loves (namely Sapphire) and will shower them with 10x more affection during a hyperfixation period (but he doesn't let it turn him into a creep, he respects boundaries).

Princess Hestia- her anxiety tends to manifest as anger issues, and when she starts to panic she is most likely to lash out at everyone in the room or area then isolate herself in shame. Elliot, her servants, and the others help her of course, and she starts to gain more control over her anxiety and resulting anger issues throughout the series, while feeling less anxious over time. When she's anxious or having a panic attack, her powers will start to act up, and she bites her lips/nails/cheeks until they bleed, and also ends up twisting and tearing the fabric of her clothes if they end up in her hands. The others help her with better coping skills so that she stops accidentally hurting herself in her panic. Max and Prince Kaye are the leaders of the Princess Hestia Defense Squad.

Princess Sapphire- she is that ADHDer with a golden retriever/chaotic gremlin personality. She gets excited very easily, is very hyperactive, and is almost always up to some kind of chaotic gremlin shenanigans. Because she was raised in the castle with very few other kids and her parents were only concerned with keeping her safe rather than behavior- she doesn't mask much at all. As a result, she rarely masks, so her ADHD traits are always front and center, and she doesn't care what others think. She struggles with impulsivity, dopamine instability, and getting overwhelmed and going into shutdown mode. Her stims include dancing, twirling around so her skirt flares out, talking about anything and everything, and just in general keeping active and constantly moving. She also helps Triveya out with her ADHD struggles, and is co-captain of the Triveya Defense Squad.

Prince Kaye- he is a very anxious person, and he has a ton of intrusive thoughts about bad things happening or hurting and even killing others due to his OCD. Because his parents raised him with the exception that he would be a bloodthirsty warlord like him, this makes Kaye's anxiety and feelings of shame about his thoughts even worse. He wants to love his parents, but resents them for treating him the way they do. He loves his siblings for supporting him and not expecting him to be like them. Princess Hestia and Max, who are also very anxious people, are his biggest supporters and leaders of the Prince Kaye Defense Squad, alone with his supportive and protective girlfriend Tris.

Which OC's are cat people? Dog people? Both? Neither?

Team Cats- Prince Kaye, Lan, Max, Princess Hestia, Elliot

Team Dogs- Tris, Cassandra, Erica, Sapphire, Triveya

Team Both- Prince Monty, Raven

Team Neither- No one? they all seem like animal lovers to me... idk :/

Who can ride a horse well, and who can barely stay in the saddle?

I'll do you one better and rank all of my MCs based on if they can ride a horse or not :D

1. Raven - He's a knight with military training, boy can absolutely ride a horse. He can ride a horse while firing a crossbow and braiding Sapphire's hair. HE CAN RIDE A HORSE 2. Princess Snow- she grew up joining the knights on hunts and marches and such, so she can ride a horse and do it well. She can't do it as well as Raven, but she does have a little combat specific horse training, so she can ride a horse and fight at the same time. 3. Lan- not as good as Snow cuz they're just not very combat inclined, but they can ride very well, going on the same adventures with the knights as Snow because they've been besties since they were kids. 4. Prince Kaye - He doesn't really like it because he was always trained with combat focused horse training, but he can do it and do it well. 5. Max - Not trained for combat at all and doesn't ride horses much, but he does have the royal training, so he can do it and at least stay in the saddle without any trouble. 5. Princess Hestia and Prince Monty - Same as Max, though they struggle a little bit with staying in the saddle, they can ride a horse and stay upright on it. 6. Tris - She's never really done it before, and would probably struggle for a minute before figuring it out and quickly becoming a pro. 7. Triveya - Also never done it before. Her learning curve would be a little bit longer than Tris's, but she eventually figures it out and does pretty ok once she's got it figured out 8. Cassandra and Erica - Never done it, and they're more accustomed to sailing on the ocean. They can figure it out and at least stay in the saddle with a whole lot of stuggling, but it's going to take a while to learn. 9. Princess Sapphire - Girl can't even get ON the horse. She's too short and doesn't have an ounce of patience, as well as a lack of object/depth perception (so she thinks the saddle is closer to the ground than it actually is cuz of the ADHD). And even if she can get in the saddle with some help, she's not staying in it- without holding on for dear life at the very least. Good thing she can ride with Raven.

Tell me about Captain Cassandra. Anything you want. As much as you want.

Oh yes! Captain Cassandra! She's so cool and a deaf queen! So, she's the little mermaid in my little mermaid retelling. When he story picks up, it's about four years after that prince left her, and she has since settled into the pirate life with a sturdy ship and loyal crew. The spell the sea witch gave her is still very much in effect- she can't talk and walking feels like walking on knives for her, but she's used to it by now- she can communicate with sign language or writing stuff down, and the pain in her feet is more of a dull ache most of the time. However, she's still trying to get over the prince by not addressing those feelings at all and trying to bury it and forget about it- which she doesn't realize actually isn't helping her heal at all. About a year prior to the events of The Little Pirate, she also lost most of her hearing to an explosion on the high seas- her left eardrum is completely shot while her right still works kinda but all the noise is really muffled and hard to make out on that side. The deafness she is still getting used to, but it's getting a little easier to manage each day. Cassandra is plus sized, has wild bright orange curls, icy blue eyes, and is a very determined, tough, and formidable pirate. Because of her first love leaving her, Cass is a very closed off person, tending to push away people she loves before she gets attached so that when they leave it won't hurt as much, and she thinks that she doesn't deserve love anyway. She's a clever pirate, and knows a lot about the islands that surround Eltya from the three years that she's explored them with her crew. Her crew is all girls, (except for her grandfather, who also gave up his tail to come on land with her so she wouldn't be alone- except he cut his tail off and replaced it with mechanical legs and he can talk), and her first mate is a girl named Felicity- who is also her main sign language interpreter. The other crew mates know some basic sign language, as does her grandfather, but Felicity is the most fluent. In the first chapter of the book, Cassandra meets our girl Erica (who yes I did name after the Disney prince, what of it), when they quite literally crash into each other as Erica is being chased by some dangerous pirates that clearly want something she has. Cass immediatly falls hard for not only Erica's gorgous looks, but her deeply caring and hopeless romantic personality and very hot skills with a sword. Once Cass realizes she's caught feelings, she very quickly pushes Erica away, thinking that this beautiful amazing girl will leave her like the prince did. I don't want to spoil anything, but by the end of the story Erica does prove Cassandra wrong and by the end of the series they confess feelings and kiss and become super cute, plus sized, horny, and protective pirate girlfriends.

Tell me everything about Raven. (I am head of his protection squad now, btw. /lh)

Raven. My son. My kin and blorbo. My boy. I love him so much and want him to suffer- You can absolutely be the head of the Raven protection squad, you have my approval :) Anyways, Raven. You probably know already that he's Princess Sapphire's super protective bodyguard, that he's autistic, that's he's morally gray, and all that good stuff, and I'll probably mention it again but it's fine- Raven is the biggest simp ever, for Sapphire. He's literally staring at her with heart eyes 99% of the time. He would do anything and everything for her, no questions asked. She is one of the things that can get him smiling and laughing in seconds. She's very different from what he's used to- before her, he dated people that were more like him. She's very different than he is and is kind of outside his comfort zone, but nothing is more worthy of leaving that comfort zone for in his eyes. And while he has this tough knight facade around everyone else, she's one of the few people he drops the facade for and becomes soft and sweet around. And he is so protective, let me elaborate: there is no limits to what this guy would go to for the people he loves, especially Sapphire. He chops a dude’s hand clean off, he fights the Witch Queen with no magic of his own multiple times, he traveled hundreds of miles by wagon and then carried her up a mountain just on the mere chance that this spell could wake her up from the sleeping curse. He would fight the King of the Underworld to the death just for her if it came to it. He would kill, he would burn down the whole world with no hesitation or regret just to get one last goodbye, one last chance to tell her he loves her. He can and will protect her from everything (even though she's very much capable of protecting herself in most cases) and it kills him that he can't do anything to protect her from the nightmares after he brings her back Also! He is so affectionate. Usually through physical touch, but also by just spending time with the people he loves and giving them simple but very meaningful and thoughtful gifts. Before the sleeping curse, he and Sapphire are really shy about showing physical affection, but after, they're both scared of one of them getting ripped away again. So they become super clingy and are making physical contact as much as possible, not caring if people are around: holding hands, hugging each other from behind, braiding each other's hair while listening to the others talk, holding hands under the table, forehead and cheek kisses, etc etc etc. He has three little sisters back home, and loves them all dearly. Those girls are also the reason he's so good at braiding, and he can do super fancy and intricate braids <3 He's also super protective of his little sisters and would 100% beat up or threaten any bully that dares mess with them. And that's all I can think of for now (but there will always be more!)

Tell me about Triveya and her relationship with her magic.

I've said this before but: Triveya is a former gifted kid who was mainly raised at a boarding school that teaches magic, where she was a 'gifted kid' very talented in magic- so... she kind of has a complicated relationship with magic to say the least. She loves it because it's her special interest, but it's also the one thing that causes the most burnout and stress in her life- this is because she feels ashamed of accommodating herself even though that would prevent a lot of stress, meltdowns, and burnout. She loves learning about magic, but dreads practicing it because of how hard it is for her. Triveya can and will infodump about magic at any given moment, but she frequently struggles with starting a spell, finishing it, and dreads doing the tasks required to do magic a lot. She's also very forgetful, leading her to very often forget important stuff about spells- which then causes them to backfire or not work at all. It's frusturating, and she's constantly beating herself up over it. But, her arc is all about her learning to cut herself some slack and accommodate herself, so by the end of the series she has a better relationship with magic and can actually enjoy practicing it again. And she becomes a former gifted kid that's messy, doesn't give a fuck, and actually lets herself do things the way that's best for her rather than conforming to everyone's expectations of doing it the neurotypical way.

For the entire main cast: what are their Fatal Flaws? (bonus, are they aware of it?) (idk if I've asked before, but it's my all-time fave question, so here it is again.) (LIST if you need it)

Probably have answered this before but idc. Tris: She has this very sanitized perception of the army in her kingdom, and thinks that everyone sees it the way she does and that everyone wants to be warheroes like her. I wouldn't say it's a fatal flaw necessarily, but it is the biggest flaw she has that she has to overcome in order to change how the kingdom is run. And it's a very jarring wake up call when she gets to the tournament and finds that a lot of girls there are scared and don't want to be there. All of this forces Tris to take a step back and re-evaluate how she sees things in her kingdom, then change how she thinks. After that, she consciously has to deconstruct everything that the kingdom has brainwashed her into believing about the army and how they treat the citizens.

Prince Kaye: He's not good at standing up for himself, and thinks that he's an awful person for having the thoughts that he does. Again, not a fatal flaw necessarily, at least not physically, but it is a mentally fatal flaw that kills how he thinks. He knows it's a problem, but has very few tools to deal with it.

Princess Snow: girl needs to stop letting people walk all over her and stop giving excuses for people when they treat her like shit. Now this is a very fatal flaw, because Snow's stepmother uses this against her and attempts kill Snow several times. Deep down, Snow knows that it's a huge problem that could get her killed, but she doesn't want to admit that to herself or anyone else.

Lan: loyalty. they are loyal to fault, and this flaw combined with Snow's is what gets them killed. They know it's a problem, but they care so much about their bestie they can't help it.

Captain Cassandra: she's afraid of loving someone only for them to leave. it's not her fault, the flaw is a trauma response to how the prince left her, but it's still a problem. it's not fatal necessarily, but it does keep her from living a happy and full life to the fullest when she falls for someone. She doesn't realize it's a flaw until it's too late.

Erica: loyalty again, especially to Cassandra, and it quite literally gets her killed (but she's brought back later). She knows it's a problem but isn't about to do anything about it.

Max: refuses to see problems that are there when he can and should fix them, refusing to stir up trouble and not be in the middle of any drama or danger. it's not what gets him killed but it could. He knows it's a problem but is too fearful to do anything about it.

Prince Monty: A little too curious and too eager to jump into an adventure without assessing the danger first. He knows it's a problem but can't stop himself

Elliot: ... I'm actually not quite sure what it exactly is yet. all I know is that he has to learn how to be brave and stand up to the people he tries to seek approval from. he might know that it's a flaw, but be too scared to do anything about it.

Princess Hestia: girl is so anxious and doesn't have the tools to cope. she also lashes out at people, then shuts them out and isolates herself in shame. She knows it's a problem, but she has no idea how to deal with it or fix it.

Raven: his fear of leaving his comfort zone and taking risks, even when they're necessary and even good. it doesn't get him killed but it does get someone else put under a sleeping curse ;) He doesn't realize it's a problem until it prevents him from saving someone he loves

Princess Sapphire: takes too many risks, and ignores the fact that she's not invincible. it doesn't get her killed exactly, but close enough ;) she doesn't realize it's a problem until she falls under the curse and is trapped in the underworld between life and death

Triveya: OVERACHIEVER MUCH- Girl pushes herself waaaay too hard.

Thank you so much for all of the questions @memento-morri-writes , wonderful ask as always and you're amazing <3

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 

[master-sass-blast]

Children of the Gods: Part Three, Chapter Two.

I had to input every single italic you see in this fic by hand because Tumblr doesn’t hold text format when I paste it innnnnn. *pained smile*

Please give this chapter some love, because that was fucking painful to do.

Summary: The aftermath of capturing Allison proves messy -both in dealing with the teen's evident trauma, and in all the skeletons in various closets that get unleashed soon after.

Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, Frank Castle x Karen Page, and Alexandra Rasputin x Nikolai Rasputin.

Rating: M for gun violence, depictions of death and injuries, depictions of emotional trauma, and gratuitous use of the word “fuck.”

Word count: 8.9k.

Set after “Children of the Gods: Part Three, Chapter One.”

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @leo-writer, @emma-frxst, @sadstone-s

“What the hell were you thinking!”

“Ooh, careful there, Doohan,” Wade snarks, head rolling to indicate he’s rolling his eyes. “Get any more agitated and you’ll be saying all the no-no words.”

Scott scowls at Wade. “Stuff it, Wilson.”

“Every damn night, laser pointer.”

A mixture of grimaces, sighs, and groans go up through the crowd.

You’re all gathered in the medical wing of Xavier’s –the X-Force and nearly all of the X-Men. Allison’s off being examined by Dr. McCoy and Alyssa –to make sure she’s stable enough to be taken out of the handcuffs and the suppression band—and Frank and Karen are sequestered in a separate room until it's clear how everything's going to shake out.

Because, naturally, there’s been a wrench thrown in the situation.

Or maybe the whole damn toolbox, you mentally amend as Wade and Scott resume arguing.

“We cannot harbor a mob criminal here—”

“She’s thirteen, Summers!” Wade snaps. The eyes on his mask narrow into slits. “She’s not a criminal –and her parents’ choice don’t automatically make her guilty!”

“Murder, illegal theft and possession of firearms, assault, stalking, kidnapping,” Scott starts listing, ticking off each of Allison’s misdeeds on his fingers.

“She lost her family,” Nathan interjects, voice going to gravel. “Where the fuck were all of you when she needed support? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”

The room goes silent. Many of the X-Men members look away or hang their heads slightly.

“We had no way of knowing that Allison was a mutant,” Ororo speaks up. “Without the proper information, we can’t help. It’s unfortunate, yes, but out of our control all the same.”

“But you know now,” Wade argues. “You knew with Russell. You knew with all the kids at Essex house. You turned your back on him and those kids, just like you’re turning your back on Allison now.” He scoffs, disgusted. “Same shit, different day. You’re all a bunch of cowardly cocksuckers.”

“We do have limits,” Professor Xavier speaks up from his chair. “Russell and the other members of Essex house were considered wards of the state. Legally, that meant Essex house had custody of them until they turned eighteen. We wrote petitions. We did as much as we could to bring attention to the issue. Unfortunately, it got swept under the rug or stonewalled by anti-mutant members of the legal system. As for Allison…” He sighs. “Taking in wards with criminal connections put the school at risk. Not just for fear of retaliation –as would certainly be a risk with Miss Ricci’s connections to the mafia—but also our funding and licensing. As an orphaned mutant, she is certainly deserving of our help—” he pauses to glare sternly at Scott and a few of the more stubborn, self-righteous members present “—but we have to consider the needs of our other residents and students, too.”

“I think we’re overlooking that Allison is here right now,” Jean pipes up. “Whether or not she stays with us is one thing, but we need to decide what to do for at least the next forty-eight hours.”

“She stays here,” you say automatically. “As far as we know, she has no other guardians, potentially even nowhere to go. I don’t think it’s gonna kill us to give her a bed and some food to eat.”

“Absolutely not,” Scott fires back –and, behind him, Angel and Iceman nod. “She’s far too aggressive to possibly put the students at risk.”

“She’s agitated and traumatized,” you reason, “but that doesn’t mean she’s going to lash out at people left and right.”

“Doesn’t she have a guardian of sorts?” Neena pipes up. “Artemis? Has anyone gotten ahold of them?”

“We reached out with the number Miss Ricci gave us,” Xavier explains. “The call picked up, but there wasn’t any verbal response for the duration of the call.”

Well, that bodes well. “What about her attorney?” you ask. “If we can’t keep her here, wouldn’t her attorney be able to arrange some sort of safe place for her to stay.”

“Thus far, we haven’t been able to reach her attorney.”

And that bodes even worse. You fight the urge to sigh or roll your eyes, and instead mentally curse monkey wrenches and whoever thought to invent the damn things.

“For the time being, I’ve contacted some of our external resources” –the glance Xavier shoots at both you and Piotr tells you that it’s your uncle and Alexandra—“to help with matters until the dust settles. They should be arriving soon, so—”

There’s a loud crash from down the hall, the sound of glass shattering, and an angry screech that sounds suspiciously like, “Fuck you, Castle!”

You give into the urge to sigh before booking it towards the sound of chaos and rage. Great. Now it’s an entire toolshed.

***

Subduing Allison this time, at least, is easier for several reasons.

First, she’s still wearing the repression cuff on her wrist. Without her powers –without a way to pop in and out of this existence, specifically—she’s much easier to catch.

Second, she’s tired. It’s not just the bags under her eyes or the sweat glistening at her furrowed brow. She’s stumbling unevenly, panting as she tries to exact her revenge.

Third, Illyana happens to show up at the exact same time with your uncle and Alexandra (and Nikolai as well, though he has less involvement in the “subduing process”).

Alex reacts fastest. She hooks one strong arm around Allison’s waist, then scoops her away from Karen and a hangdog-looking Frank. “Alright, that’s enough.”

Allison, however, doesn’t seem to agree. (Though whether it’s due to general teenage contrariness or trauma-induced rage, the jury’s still out.

…Actually, it’s probably both.)

“You don’t even get it, Castle!” Allison snaps with a manic grin, eyes wide and haunted. “You killed a good man. My dad was getting out! He was going to testify against them—”

Alex clamps a hand over the teen’s mouth, making her cut herself off with a garbled grunt. “I said enough.”

Allison thrashes in the older woman’s iron-clad grasp –to no avail, unsurprisingly. Her face scrunches up, then her jaw starts flexing. There’s a moment where her expression goes slack when Alex doesn’t react, then her nose scrunches up again and her jaw starts working harder.

Alex sighs, then starts carrying Allison back down the hall (she’s astonishingly unfazed by been chomped down on). “Come on. Let’s get you calmed down, malen’kiy.”

At the other end of the hall, Neena pokes her head into the fray. “Someone who calls herself Artemis is at the front door.”

Professor Xavier nods, then says, “Please escort her back to Miss Ricci’s room,” before wheeling after Alex and Artemis.

You look between Neena and the Professor –then, in the interest of going where you’re actually allowed to be (and not being bored out of your mind because you’ll be literally shut out of the room), you head towards the foyer.

…

“Do you think Frank was set up to stop the trial?”

Your uncle shrugs; the two of you have taken up a spot at the back of the room, where you can watch things unfold and gossip like the two old ladies you are in spirit. “It’s possible. It’s also possible that it was retribution for Allison being a mutant. The Ricci syndicate is notoriously… intolerant.”

You grimace. You certainly understand just how far people will go against their own flesh and blood for intolerance’s sake. “Blood and water.”

Your uncle nods, expression equally sour. “You fucking said it, punk.”

There’s not much point in hashing it out any further –both from the standpoint of “forbidden knowledge” and digging up old trauma—so you settle back into watching Artemis go through the mandatory security check.

She’s tall, with broad shoulders. Her hair’s dark, just starting to streak with silver at the temples, and her eyes are deep, intense, borderline black color. Her nose is slightly crooked –comes with the territory in this walk of life—and she’s dressed in black motorcycle wear and combat boots.

She honestly looks so fucking familiar.

You frown, brows pinching together as you try and place her face in your memory. Failing your own abilities at recollection, you lean over and whisper, “Is she one of your team members? I swear I’ve seen her before.”

“Uh –no,” your uncle replies (and it’s too fast and shaky, but you’re too caught up in figuring out whom the fuck you’re looking at to notice). “I mean –everyone has a doppelganger, right?”

“I guess.” You squint at Artemis, as though physically narrowing your eyes will help your brain puzzle things out—

And then Alex strides into the foyer –wiping the hand that Allison bit, and if you look close enough you’re pretty sure you can still see a few bloody teeth marks—and the cloud of confusion lifts from your mind.

“Oh!” you gasp quietly. “That’s why she looks familiar! She looks like Alex.” You look from the Rasputin matriarch, to the other black-leather clad woman, then back again. “She looks… a lot like Alex, actually.” You laugh softly –coincidence is a hell of a thing—then keep rambling when your uncle doesn’t say anything. “Two women who love the color black and carry enough weapons on their person to stock an army. You’d think the universe broke the mold with Alex, huh?”

Your uncle shifts from foot to foot next to you, but says nothing.

“You really weren’t kidding about the whole ‘doppelganger’ thing, huh.” You cock your head to one side, then frown as another epiphany starts growing in your mind. “Actually… she kind of looks like you, too.”

Your uncle makes a quiet, pained choking noise. “Punk—”

“Yeah, she’s got more of your build…”

“Punk.”

“And her lower lip has that weird lopsided curve like yours—”

“Punk—”

You peer closer at Artemis’s face. “Actually, her nose looks like you took yours and Alex’s and mashed them together—”

“Punk.”

You finally look up at him and take in the pale, wide-eyed, tight-lipped expression on his face. “What?” When he doesn’t say anything, you look at Artemis, then Alex, and then back at him—

Oh God.

Oh God.

Holy fucking shit.

You stare up at your uncle, agape. “Wait a second –you and—”

“Okay, shut the fuck up!” he hisses, panicked, before dragging you out of the foyer and into the nearest hallway.

“You and Alex had a baby,” you blurt –albeit in a voice no louder than a harsh whisper. “Artemis is your and her lovechild!”

He winces, then holds up his hands. “I can explain—”

“I don’t think you can!” you hiss. “Why didn’t you tell me that I have a cousin who happens to be my husband’s half fucking sister! Oh God, does Piotr know? Do any of the Rasputins know?”

“I…” He trails off, then cringes. He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not sure, actually.”

You stare up at him, dumbfounded. “You’re not sure. How are you not sure? Nick knows who you are –what, you think Alex just kept a whole child from his knowledge—”

“I mean, he probably knows that there was a baby at one point—”

“The baby is in this fucking house!” you snap in a quiet growl, arms flailing wildly. “She’s a full grown adult who probably pays taxes and has a 401k going! Why wouldn’t Alex tell her husband—”

“Look,” your uncle interjects, cutting you off. “As far as Alex knows… she thinks she’s… dead?”

You gape. Then, as quietly as you can manage (given the circumstances), you exclaim, “What the fuck!”

“Keep your voice down!” your uncle hisses, gesturing wildly in panic. He looks over his shoulder, then when he’s certain no one overheard you, he sighs and looks back to you. “Look, it’s a long story—”

“I’m sure it fucking is!” You cross your arms over your chest when he winces. “How is it that you know your secret lovechild is alive, but Alex doesn’t? What, did she just abandon her?”

“No, no—”

“Didn’t think so. So what the fuck happened?”

He sighs, shoulder slumping, and runs one hand through his already disheveled hair. “Look –long story short, the people who ‘made’ Alex took the baby—”

“Artemis. Her daughter. Your daughter.”

He purses his lips, but concedes with a nod. “They took her away after she was born and told Alex she was dead –and that’s actually what prompted her to get out, but that’s another story for another day—”

“Okay, hang on a second.” You squeeze your eyes shut and hold up one hand. “Alex thinks her baby is dead –probably one of the most traumatic things in her whole life. You’ve known that she’s alive…” You open your eyes again and fix your uncle with a stern stare. “Okay, how long have you known for?”

He grimaces and shifts uncomfortably. “…well, the US took her, but she didn’t present early, so they turned her loose into the foster system because she didn’t have potential as an ‘asset’—”

“How fucking long?”

He ducks his head, carefully avoiding your gaze. “…tracked her down when she was ten.”

Your eyes widen –and then you slug him in the shoulder. “You fucking colossal asshole!”

He panics again, motioning for you to keep it down while checking over his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up!”

“No! Not only have you lied to Alex for decades—”

“She never asked—”

“A lie by omission is still a fucking lie!” you snap in a gravelly whisper. “So, not only did you lie to her, but you also abandoned your daughter to the mercies of the US foster care system!”

“My life wasn’t safe to keep a kid around!” he hisses back at you. “I couldn’t take care of you, and I couldn’t take care of her! If anything, it was safer for her if the government thought I didn’t know she was alive!”

You sigh, pinch the bridge of your nose, and wave dismissively with your other hand. “Okay –fine. That still doesn’t justify the whole lying thing, but whatever. Does Artemis know that you and Alex are her parents?”

“…Yes. She tracked me down when she was in her twenties and I told her the truth.”

“Well, it sounds like determination runs in the family,” you mutter. “But at least you two have kept in touch…” You look up, see your uncle’s grimace, and sigh. “You didn’t keep in touch with her.”

He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“Pretty sure ‘not like that’ is a good answer.” You sigh again, then shrug and put your hands on your hips. “Well, you’ve probably solved your own problem. She’ll probably just tell Alex who she is just to spite you, assuming she got the ‘petty vengeance’ gene too.”

Your uncle’s eyebrows spike to his hairline, and his expression goes through the five stages of grief in a matter of seconds. “She –she can’t—”

“She can and she probably will.”

He hunches over, crouching, and grips the back of his head. “Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckshitfuck—”

“Myshka?”

You and your uncle both jump, then whirl in unison and give your husband your best convincing, “we’re totally not talking about long lost, hidden family members and other poor life choices” smiles that you can each manage.

(Consider that you don’t look like you just shit your pants, you win.)

Piotr’s forehead wrinkles with concern. “What… is everything alright?”

“Just fine, baby,” you assure him, subtly kicking your uncle so he relaxes. “Just talking about what happens next.”

Piotr nods after a moment, likely picking up on that whatever’s going on right now isn’t life or death and that you’ll fill him in later. “I actually came to find you,” he says, gesturing to your uncle. “Professor Xavier still cannot reach Allison’s lawyer. He has asked for your assistance.”

“Right. Absolutely. On it,” your uncle says with a none-too-convincing smile. He shoots your husband a pair of finger guns, then books it out of the hall and towards the medical wing of the mansion.

Piotr stares after him, then shoots you a confused frown. “Is he okay?”

You shrug. “He’s doing about his usual.” You decide to further sidestep the issue by ambling over to him and giving him a gentle hug. “How are you?” Are doing okay?”

Piotr wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. “I am fine now. Just a little sore.”

“Me too.” You nuzzle your cheek against his burly chest. “We really should invest in that hot tub we keep talking about getting. It’d be great for post-mission recovery.”

“Hot tubs are expensive, myshka,” he chuckles.

“Yes, but we’re not getting any younger. It’d be a good investment in taking care of our bodies.” You tilt your head back and grin up at him. “I thought you were all about that life.”

He sighs and shakes his head, feigning exasperation, but his amused smile is a dead giveaway. “Whatever shall I do with you, myshka?”

You grin wider. “You could kiss me.”

Piotr grins back, then dips his head and presses his lips against yours—

Mikhail appears next to you out of thin air. “Ah. Gross. Big meeting is happening. All hands on deck.”

Piotr rolls his eyes when his elder brother teleports away once more, then looks back down at you and strokes your cheek with his thumb. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, baby.” You unwind your arms from his massive trunk of a torso, then slide your fingers between his as the two of you walk towards the medical wing.

…

“—I am telling you, Charles, not being able to reach this kid’s lawyer is a bad fucking sign.”

You and Piotr walk into a conference room to find your uncle and Professor Xavier locked in a heated argument.

Wade, Nate, and Neena are leaning against the table to watch, occasionally leaning over to whisper bits of commentary to each other (or, in Wade’s case, speak at normal volume).

In the corner of the room, where a couple of armchairs are positioned, Nikolai sits with his two other children; they’re speaking in hushed Russian, but none of them seem too concerned about everything else going on.

“As I previously stated,” Xavier says, words clipped, “we cannot release Miss Ricci without speaking first to her attorney. The X-Men operate as a special law enforcement service, and failure to comply with criminal and civil statutes will have enormous consequences for the Institute—”

“There’s going to be a bunch of fucking ‘enormous consequences’ for the Institute,” your uncle interrupts, growling through clenched teeth, “if you don’t evacuate this building right fucking now! Fuck’s sake, Charles –you hired me as a security advisor; just listen to me.”

Piotr frowns and curls one hand over your shoulder. “What is happening?”

“What’s happening,” a new, strong, feminine voice interjects from the hall, “is that we’re leaving.” Artemis shoulders past your husband –a feat not easily achieved by many—with Allison in tow, then holds up the teen’s arm that has the repression cuff still attached. She glares at Xavier (and God, she really looks like Alex when she does that), then spits out through gritted, bared teeth, “Get this fucking thing off my kid.”

There’s a longsuffering sigh in the hall, and then Alex steps into the doorway. “She has that cuff on for her own safety –as I already told you—”

Artemis whirls, face contorted by a vicious scowl, and snaps, “I didn’t fucking ask for you input!”

(Boy, if that doesn’t just scream ‘repressed trauma and mommy issues.’)

Your uncle looks like he’s about to pass out again, but Alex seems remarkably nonplussed. She merely raises one eyebrow at Artemis, as if to say ‘that’s all you got?’

There’s no way she knows, you think as you watch the two stare each other down. Not with how much she cares about her kids. There’s no fucking way—

“Actually, we’ve got bigger problems,” your uncle pipes up, voice quavering slightly before he clears his throat. “We can’t reach your kid’s shark.”

“They have other clients,” Artemis retorts, upper lip curling in a derisive sneer. Her dark eyes smolder with barely constrained hatred as she tosses a withering glance in his direction (daddy issues, too, this chick won the whole lottery). “Or maybe they got stuck in traffic.”

Your uncle narrows his eyes at that (and now the two of them look so much alike, overcome by ire as they are). “You cannot possibly be that fucking stupid.”

Artemis sucks a breath through her teeth, eyes widening with rage and hurt. “You fucking dick—”

In the corner of the room, Illyana bolts upright before going stock still. Then, she gasps and reaches out towards her mother. “Mama!”

(The way Artemis’s face mars with a pained grimace makes your heart ache.)

Alex tenses, eyes glowing gold as she starts scanning the horizon (presumably checking for heat signatures). “Gde?”

The room goes quiet –and then you hear it.

The sound of engines rumbling –multiple engines—and car wheels crunching against gravel. Doors thumping open and shut, followed by footsteps. Hushed voices.

You scamper over to the nearest window and float up, just enough to see several men clad in black and Kevlar and carrying rifles stalking towards the front door and around the sides of the house in groups. “Guys with guns. Lots of them.”

“Then get down!” Nate hisses before yanking you back from the window.

“Lights out,” Alex orders before hitting the switch herself. “Get everyone to a reinforced room.”

“There’s a safe room at the end of the hall,” Xavier says before wheeling himself towards the door.

Allison clings to Artemis’s sleeve, much like a baby koala. “What’s going on? What’s going to happen?”

“Go with the Professor,” Artemis says. She quickly –but gently—frees her arm, then clasps the teen’s face with both hands. “Look at me. Listen to the Professor, and stay put until I come get you. Okay?”

Allison’s forehead puckers, and her lower lip starts trembling. “But—”

“Is alright,” Nikolai interjects with a kind, reassuring smile. He gently ushers Allison towards the door, then down the hall before she can protest further.

A few doors down, Karen pokes her head out of the room where she and Frank have holed up. She frowns as she takes in the chaos. “What’s going on?”

“Mafia men with guns!” Wade chirps as he half-skips, half-jogs towards the mansion’s entryway. “Tell your boy to suit up!”

“There’s a safe room at the end of the hall,” Neena adds as she runs after Wade.

Frank squeezes around Karen and kisses her temple before falling in line behind the two assassins.

You step to the side so Karen can run past you, then turn and press a hasty kiss against Piotr’s cheek. “Love you.”

He kisses your cheek in return, equally as brief. “Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu.”

And then the two of you run towards the danger bearing down on your home.

***

In all the firefights you’ve been in, there’s always this moment of silence. A calm before the storm. A moment where everything goes still, while both sides wait for the other to make a move.

You duck behind a wall as the mafia gunmen continue hammering away at the front door, tucking yourself in a shadow. Your stomach tenses, breathing going quick and hard as your mind starts putting a plan together. Don’t want to risk collapsing part of the house by doing a pressure vacuum. Best option is to probably knock them to the ground so the others can jump them.

The door rattles. The wooden portal splits on one side, sending jagged splinters poking out into the air.

You slow your breathing, forcing yourself into a calm, focused state. Wait for them to get past the entryway so you can hit as many of them as possible.

In the back of the house, near the kitchen, you hear glass shatter.

They’re in. You clench your fists at your sides, watching as the front door slowly gives way. Three… two… one…

The door breaks open, swinging inwards as the first gunmen step into the foyer—

And then the door snaps off its hinges and slams into the men, taking them out like bowling pins.

Strike, a small, inane part of your brain giggles.

Shouts go up through the house. You can hear the sounds of rushed footsteps, shattering glass, and what sounds like people being bodyslammed through tables (and, given the type of people fighting for your side, it just might be that). Gunfire pierces the air –and is accompanied by the telltale, metallic plinks of the bullets ricocheting off your husband’s armor.

Angry screams emanate from the front step. Men barge in, firing down the hall, towards some unseen target (likely Alex or Nate, given the door trick).

You wait until as many men are piled into the foyer as possible, then send down a downdraft that blows out the windows on either side of the door.

The gunmen tumble to the floor, swearing in a mixture of English and Italian.

Nate, Wade, and Neena swoop in. They descend upon the mafia men like a pack of wolves, breaking bones, dislocating joints, and cracking skulls as they disarm –and, in some cases “un-alive”—the gunmen.

“It’s raining men!” Wade sings as he runs one of his katanas through the gut of one assailant. “Hallelujah! It’s raining men!” He ramps off a nearby wall, then t-bags another man before stabbing him through the temple. “Amen!”

You crouch, tracking the movement of the scuffle. You tense when you see a couple of the men jump Nathan, then charge towards the railing and dive over when a few more try to break past to run down the hallway. You flip in the air, land in the hallway ahead of them, and unleash a blast of wind right in their faces.

The mafia men fly out through the front door. They sail over half the front drive, then bounce off the gravel surface and roll several times before coming to a stop.

You let out a harsh breath, then dart down the hall towards the kitchen when you hear glass shattering and the sound of Frank bellowing angrily.

The kitchen and rec room are a mess. Glass shards from shattered windows coat the floor, glittering before being crushed underfoot. Doors are cracked from having people slammed into them. The rec room couch is overturned –and is sagging suspiciously on one side, hinting at a cracked frame. The entertainment system is shattered, with smoking bullet holes littering the TV, speakers, and media systems.

Frank has one of the guys pinned down over the sink. He’s snarling as he uses the lip of the sink to choke the guy out. There’s blood smeared his lips and chins, trailing back up to his chin.

Another gunman stalks in through the dining room, gun trained on Frank’s head.

You whip a blast of air at the second man, sending him sailing into the wall so hard the drywall cracks.

He drops to the ground, unconscious.

There’s some terrified shrieking –and then a gunman is punted up and out of the basement stairwell. He sails through the kitchen window headfirst, crumpling in a heap in the hedges outside.

Your husband storms up the staircase, teeth bared in an angry snarl. The waning daylight glints off his metal exterior, almost making him look like some sort of avenging angel. He stops short when he sees you, though; his irate expression vanishes, replaced by concern. “Ty v poryadke?”

You manage a smile and flash him a thumbs up—

And then a truck with a Gatling gun strapped to the roof rolls up to the back door.

“Get down!” Frank hollers before tackling you to the ground behind the kitchen island.

The room explodes into chaos. Bullets plow into the walls, sending up spurts of drywall dust in their wake. Wooden doorframes and floorboards crack, unleashing cascades of splinters in every direction. Glass shatters, raining down upon everything in its reach.

Frank positions himself over you, shielding you as fragmented bullets rain down upon your both. He cups your head with his hands, doing his best to protect you from the hellfire.

Over the din, you can just make out a loud, angry bellow –and then the sound of bullets hitting metal. Heavy, deliberate stomps make the floor shake.

The gunfire cuts off. A shriek pierces the air just before you hear what sounds like a car being tossed into a tree.

(As you’ll discover later, that’s precisely what you heard.)

Frank lifts his head, then carefully rolls off you. He crouches next to you and holds out a hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Your ears are ringing, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got glass shards and splinters in your hair, but you’ve been worse. You take his hand, flinching when you hear the sound of more gunfire outside.

Frank peers over the lip of the island. “Reinforcements. At least five more cars headed our way.”

You suck in a breath. “Piotr—”

“Is holding his own for now,” Frank says.

“I’m gonna help him,” you rasp out. “Make sure everyone in the house that’s not on our side… stays down. And that we’ve still got all our people.”

Frank nods, then runs off towards the foyer.

You catch your breath, then creep towards the back door (better safe than sorry). You flatten yourself against the wall next to the doorway, then peer around the broken frame.

Piotr’s facing off against the new influx of cars. He’s got one hand on the hood of one Range Rover, arm extended out like he’s fending off a five-year-old. With his other hand, he flips another SUV over, causing the thing to land on its roof and putting the vehicle squarely out of commission.

Your stomach sinks when five more Range Rovers tear across the lawn, leaving deep, muddy tracks in their wake –and are followed by three more trucks with Gatling guns attached to the roofs. You sprint out the door, take a flying leap over Piotr, then send out a shockwave of air when you land on the ground.

A few of the cars fly backwards, rolling across the lawn like tumbleweeds. A majority of them, however, manage to stay upright or bump into each other and recover.

Your eyes widen when one of the Gatling gun operators aims directly at you. Shit.

Piotr leaps in front of you, whirling so his back is to the gun. He curls his body over yours, shielding you as gunfire rains down on you both.

You grit your teeth, grunting. You can feel the impact of the gunfire resonating through your husband’s metal body. Worry clutches at your heart when Piotr lets out sharp, ragged groans; he’s largely invulnerable in his armor, not to mention his sense of touch is severely dulled, but you know that with shit like this he’s still feeling some sort of pain –and there’s nothing you can do. You’re both pinned down, and as powerful as your shockwaves are, they’re not enough to stop or even skew the trajectory of a bullet—

Blue light washes over both of you. The sound of the gunfire wanes, replaced by warbling, pinging noises instead.

You peer around Piotr’s side to see Illyana standing between the two of you and the oncoming cars. She has her arms outstretched, palms facing the onslaught of adversaries. A shimmering, sky blue shield with various magical incantations floating through it surrounds all of you, stretching into the sky for at least forty feet.

Illyana grunts. She’s being shoved backwards from the force of impact from the bullets. Her feet are digging into the ground, leaving ruts as she tries to hold her stance. “We need new plan!”

“How about ‘stay alive?’” Piotr shouts back as he digs shrapnel out of the grooves on his arms.

Wade, Neena, Nate, and Frank come barreling out the back door, faces streaked with soot and blood. They dive for the ground, covering the backs of their heads and necks with their hands—

An explosion goes off inside the mansion. The shockwave shatters windows on both the first and second floor, blowing out window frames and trim.

Piotr covers your body with his once more. He cups your head with his hand, shielding you from the falling debris and the worst of the shockwave.

You cough and hack as smoke billows out the broken windows and doors. You do your best to make a vortex to suck the smoke away and send it up into the air. Your lungs burn, and your ears are ringing like a bell from all the gunfire and the explosion—

Four more gunmen emerge from the smoke pouring out the back door.

You snarl, then whip blasts of air at them, slamming them into the exterior walls of the house.

One of them goes down, while the other three are merely stunned.

Mikhail comes barreling out next. He lets out a guttural battle cry, then sucker punches one of the men in the back of the head before aiming a blast of rust colored energy at another’s gut.

The man screams as he sails into the air, arcing over the tree line and disappearing somewhere in the canopies.

The third man aims his gun at Mikhail –then staggers and drops to the ground when a beam of golden energy sears through his chest.

Alex storms out of the smoke with Artemis and your uncle trailing close behind her. She glares down the remaining gunmen and cars, teeth bared in a vicious snarl. Blood is flecked across her face and spattered over her leather jacket. “House is clear!”

“Yeah, except now we’re about to be cleared out!” Wade hollers back. “As in, ‘all sales final, no returns, no exchanges!’”

“If we could make plan,” Illyana screams, voice strained with the effort of holding the shield, “would be very great!”

You look over to Alex –and see her eyes widen. You whirl towards the gunmen just in time to see one of them aim a rocket launcher at all of you. “Oh, for the love of—”

The first hit is technically deflected by Illyana’s shield, insomuch that the projectile and the shield both shatter the moment they meet. The force of the magic breaking sends out a shockwave of blue energy that flies backwards into all of you, knocking those who managed to get up back off their feet and stunning the rest of you.

You groan, head reeling. Your vision clears slowly, casting double images when you move too quickly. Shit.

You can make out Piotr, just next to you. He’s lying face down on the lawn, grunting and moving in slow, clumsy movements. He turns his head, brow furrowing when he sees you, and reaches out towards you.

You extend your hand to grab his –but he’s just out of your reach, no matter how far you strain. Your body feels heavy with fatigue and pain; everything inside you is screaming to get up, to fight, to keep moving because death is knocking right on your door, and you’ll be damned if this is how you go out—

Alex recovers first –no surprise there. She shoves herself to her feet, seething and growling like a feral beast. She hurls a blast of energy at one of the cars –and, from the sounds of the carnage, makes a direct hit. She storms towards the sea of mafia men like an avenging angel, hell bound on vengeance and blood.

Audible gasps go up from the amassed assassins.

You lift your head to see several of the gunmen backing away from the mansion and crossing themselves with shaking hands. You chalk it up to Alex being Alex, and make to drop your head back against the ground once more—

And then you see Allison standing in the ruined doorway.

She’s glaring down the gunmen with a viciousness that doesn’t suit the youthful roundness of her face. Her brows are knit together, and her mouth is twisted into an ugly scowl. Her eyes are glowing a brilliant shade of blue and give off little wisps of azure colored smoke. Her skin and hair are smoking as well, creating an aura around her body. Blood drips down from her nose and onto her shirt –which is stained with ash and soot. There are burn marks and indents on her wrists from where the repression cuff and the handcuffs used to be, respectively, but the restraints themselves are gone.

The ground begins to shake. Two patches of cerulean light appear underneath the grass, growing larger until they form swirling vortexes of magical energy. The ground begins to crumble at the edges of the portals, eroding away and growing wider until they make gaping tunnels that channel so deeply into the earth there’s no telling how far they truly go.

You recoil when the smell of sulfur and smoke blenches forth from the tunnels. Shit, did she hit a gas line? Fucking dammit, like this day can get any worse—

Echoing, blood-chilling howls emanate from the tunnels.

Your eyes widen –and then your heart starts working overtime when you see two, then four massive hellhounds (like the ones Allison summoned at the mall) crawl out of the tunnels.

Shrieks of terror sound from the gunmen. Several take off running, while others try to shoot the beasts.

The hounds snap and snarl at the gunmen, then charge at the group. Two of them go off after the runners, while the other two start lunging after the assassins like they’re rabbits.

You stare at the chaos in disbelief –and then a set of strong hands grab you underneath the arms.

“Get up.” You uncle tugs you to your feet, keeping you steady when you stumble. “You can’t be in the flow of traffic for this.”

Behind you, Allison is panting like she’s run a marathon. The aura of blue smoke is growing around her, trailing into the air and floating over the ground. Veins of light spread across her face and arms, glowing the same shade of vibrant blue as her eyes. Her breathing grows louder and more ragged, until she’s growling and shaking with each exhale— and then she screams.

Much like the first confrontation in the cemetery, all those months ago, the scream unleashes a shockwave of blue energy. This time, though, the shockwave is far from a decoy for escape. It washes over you, the X-Force, your uncle, the other Rasputins, Frank, and Artemis harmlessly enough –then slams into the mafia forces and vehicles like the wall of a hurricane.

Alex charges after the shockwave, carefully trailing behind it. She waits until it clears the first line of gunmen, then slams her fist into the face of the man closest to her. She blocks his attempt to strike her, then twists his arm –dislocating the shoulder, which makes him shriek in pain. Then, she wrenches his rifle away from him. She shoots him once in the center of his forehead, then turns the firearm on his fellow men and keeps firing.

Mikhail and Artemis go after the one surviving Gatling gun. Mikhail teleports onto the truck bed; he sweeps the back of one man’s jacket over his head, effectively blinding him, then kicks the other man present in the balls before shoving him over the side of the truck.

Artemis, on the other hand, stops a few feet away from the truck. She uses her telekinesis to rip the Gatling gun off its mount, then yanks the driver out through the windscreen –headfirst, no less—and dumps him on the lawn.

He doesn’t get back up.

“Come on,” your uncle says, pointing towards the further reaches of the property, where some of the gunmen are still trying to outrun the hellhounds. “Let’s give the dogs a helping hand.”

The two of you reach out, creating a wind current that slices through the air and slams into the stragglers.

The men careen into nearby hedges –and the hellhounds have it from there.

The familiar sonic blast of Nathan’s gun rips through the air. The shot slams into the last remaining SUV, rendering the vehicle to little more than glass shards and mangled metal.

The back lawn and gardens fall silent, save for the sounds of groans of pain and the hellhounds chewing on various gunmen.

Mikhail takes a fall off the back of the truck bed. He flops onto the ruined grass below, limbs splaying like a rag doll’s. “Alright. Is time for nap. Wake me… never.”

Illyana scoffs from where she’s sat next to a smoldering bush. She picks up a nearby stone, then chucks it at her eldest brother’s head (and hits her target, no less). “There is still clean up. Bezdel'nik.”

Mikhail flips her off, then groans as he rubs the bridge of his nose.

“She’s right,” Alex lectures her eldest as she picks her way through the carnage. She nudges one body with the toe of her combat boot, then shoots him through the temple when he groans.

“Mama!” Piotr gapes at her, expression scandalized. He sputters, looking between her and the body at her feet.

“Chto? Vy khotite yego zhivym? Chtoby on mog dolozhit' svoim khozyayevam? Chtoby on mog obrushit' adskiy ogon' na etu shkolu i vsekh, kogo vy lyubite? No –no.” She holds up her index finger and stares sternly at Piotr when he tries to argue. “You do not leave enemies on your six o’clock, medvezhonok. First rule of survival.”

Piotr swallows hard, then says softly, “X-Men do not kill.”

Alex shrugs. “And I am not an X-Man.”

“We’ll handle it,” Nathan says. He holds his hand out for Alex’s rifle, nodding when she hands it to him after a moment’s hesitation.

(Wade and Frank are already working their way through the sea of dead and wounded. Frank’s traversing the chaos methodically, sticking to minimal shots to kill the survivors, while Wade’s alternating between singing “Dancing Queen” and getting post-mortem revenge.

“You shot my dick off inside!” Wade gasps as he peers down at a –slightly chewed on—corpse. “Extra bullets for you!” He then shoots the dead body several times before resuming his pitchy serenade.)

“What now?” Allison asks, staring out at the carnage with a slightly shocked expression.

“‘What now?’” Artemis repeats, laughing incredulously. She stomps towards Allison, pulling a pack of tissues out of her inner jacket pocket. “What the hell are you even doing out here? You were supposed to stay in the safe room—”

“They had cameras in there,” Allison says with a roll of her eyes, as if that justifies her decision to join the fracas. “You guys were getting your asses kicked.”

“We would’ve handled it.”

“Yeah, except you weren’t,” Allison fires back. She scrunches up her face when Artemis starts wiping the blood off her face, but otherwise takes the mothering without any complaint.

“It’s not your responsibility to deal with this shit,” Artemis says, voice and expression softening for a moment. She cleans up Allison’s face –then scowls. “And where the fuck are your cuffs? How did you even get out of them?”

Allison shrugs. “I used my powers to short the repression cuff out and ash it off.”

Illyana’s, Alex’s, and your uncle’s heads all snap around to stare at Allison.

“Are you kidding me?” Artemis hisses through clenched teeth. “You could’ve fucking killed yourself!”

“Or caused magical paradox that ripped hole in space-time continuum,” Illyana snaps.

“Ruptured blood vessels in your brain and caused an aneurysm, made the cuff deliver a lethal electrical shock, turned your magic against your own body and rendered yourself to ash,” your uncle continues, ticking off items on his fingers.

“Well, I didn’t do any of that!” Allison snarls, glaring at the others while Artemis keeps cleaning up her face. “And I made sure you losers won the fight –so fuck off!”

“Get her something to eat and drink,” Alex says. “Her blood sugar is bound to be low after pulling a stunt like that.”

Artemis glares at Alex and opens her mouth to respond—

Across the yard, Wade lets out a pained shriek. “My balls are not fetch toys! Bad Fido! Bad!”

Your eyes widen as you watch one of the hellhounds swing Wade around by his legs. You bite down on your lip, holding in a shock-induced laugh.

“Where’s this mutt’s off-switch –hey, hey! No!” Wade wriggles in the hellhound’s mouth, panicking as another beast bounds towards him. “My spine is not a tug toy! Can someone get rid of Fido and Rufus before they rip me in half!”

Allison snorts –then, before anyone can stop her, holds out her hand and flicks her wrist.

All four hellhounds melt back into the ground, disappearing to the depths of hell from whence they came.

Artemis swears under her breath, then catches the teen when she stumbles. She moves frantically, grabbing more tissues as blood starts pouring out of Allison’s nose once more. “You fucking idiot. Why the fuck did you do that? When are you going to fucking learn that you’re not invincible—”

Allison lets out a sharp, hoarse laugh –then passes out.

…

The wreckage inside the mansion is heartbreaking.

You stare at the ruined furniture, the scorched walls, the splintered doors, the ruined rec room and kitchen, and you have to wonder what was the fucking point?

Part of you understands that the mafia came prepared for war; they were going up against powerful mutants, so –naturally—they would want to be prepared. Having the strongest, most powerful weapons available increased their chances of success. Logically –from a strictly tactical standpoint—it makes sense.

Glass crunches under your shoes. You stare down at a litany of fallen picture frames, heart wrenching as you stare at the ruined pictures of graduates, students, and workers inside. We’re just a school. We work with kids. What was the point of trying to wipe us out?

Piotr ambles up behind you. He puts his arms around your shoulders and kisses the top of your head. “Cleaners and repairmen will be here in less than one hour.”

You feel numb. You place your hand on his arm. “That’s good.”

“We have back ups of pictures,” he murmurs. He kisses your cheek. “Insurance to cover replacing damaged items. We will be fine.”

“I know.” You sigh, leaning back against your husband’s chest. “We’re just a school. What… what was the point? Why try to wipe us out?”

“I do not know.” Piotr kisses your other cheek, hugging you reassuringly. “Perhaps they believed we knew information about ‘family business.’ Or that we were protecting Allison for some reason.”

“She’s just a kid,” you argue, voice breaking as your grief and exhaustion wells up and threatens to overtake you. “She’s only thirteen…”

Piotr says nothing, merely holds you closer.

You sigh—

And then a door slams. Hurried stomps echo down the hall. There’s creaking as a door opens again, followed by more footsteps and exasperated shouts.

Allison storms past you and Piotr, heading towards the kitchen. Her jaw is set, fists clenched at her sides.

You and Piotr look at each other –then follow after her, if only to be sure that nothing else is going to explode today.

She slams her hands down on the island counter –and, on the opposite side, Frank and Karen both flinch and stare at her warily.

Allison glares at Frank, jaw working convulsively. Her shoulders heave with each breath she takes. Her eyes shine with unshed tears, making the bags underneath seem darker and deeper by comparison. She trembles, expression flickering wildly between grief, white hot rage, and the neutral mask she’s trying so desperately to hold. She sucks in a breath that sounds more like a pained sob, then stares Frank down and spits out through gritted teeth, “You leave my people alone, I leave yours alone. Deal?”

Frank sighs. He nods, expression heavy with grief and eyes shining with remorse. “Yeah, kid. You got a deal.”

Allison clenches the edge of the island so hard her hands go white. She lets out a strangled, angry laugh as the tears finally start to fall. She ducks her head briefly, then glares back up at Frank. “I fucking hate you.”

Frank grimaces, but nods and says, “I know kid. It’s okay. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“That ain’t worth shit.”

“I know… believe me, I know.”

Artemis –who’d previously been watching at the kitchen threshold—steps forward and puts her arm around Allison’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go.”

Allison clenches her teeth together, but still lets out a choked sob. She presses her lips together, looking around the room to try and regain her composure, to stop the flow of tears. She manages a deep breath, then takes one last look at Frank and snarls, “If I have to see your fucking face again, I’m ripping out your guts,” before storming out of the room.

Frank, to his credit, doesn’t respond (though you suspect he feels too guilty to even consider arguing). He merely hangs his head, expression that of a kicked dog.

Karen leans against him. She interlocks her fingers with his, murmuring in his ear (likely about how it isn’t his fault, and while it looks like that may technically be the case, you’re glad you don’t have to walk the spider’s silk of a line those facts lie upon).

What a shitshow.

Piotr puts an arm around your shoulders and gently leads you out of the kitchen. “Come on, myshka. Let’s go find spot to rest.”

…

Frank and Karen leave shortly after “making the deal” with Allison.

Allison and Artemis hang back for a bit to talk to Xavier. You don’t get all the gorey details but from what you can tell, it’s essentially an offer to help train Allison’s powers so she doesn’t hurt herself rolled in with a warning to keep her nose clean, stay on the straight and narrow, etcetera etcetera.

The sun’s just starting its descent from the sky before the two of them walk out of the meeting room.

Allison is wearing Artemis’s jacket and looks downright haggard.

Artemis has her arm around the teen and is gently guiding her while she talks to Xavier (though, perhaps the term “talk” is too generous, considering most of her responses are nods or terse, one-to-two word replies).

The rest of the Rasputin family, you, Piotr, and your uncle are all gathered in the foyer to make sure Allison and Artemis leave without too much trouble (or causing more trouble themselves).

Your uncle is sweating bullets and looks like he just shit his pants; he’s glancing between Alex and their daughter so fast it’s a miracle he hasn’t given himself a headache yet.

Now or never, you think, watching him with pursed lips. Tell your secrets before they’re told for you.

Alex kneels down next to Allison. “Are you okay?”

Allison’s gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “The fuck do you think?”

She quirks her mouth to the side. “Not all that good.” Alex ducks her head lower, trying to catch Allison’s gaze. “You remember what we talked about?”

Allison’s eyes narrow. She moves her gaze away from Alex. “Go to hell. I know what I know.”

“Sometimes… it’s better to not,” Alex says. She stares at Allison for a moment longer, then pats her shoulder before standing and walking away.

Artemis stares after Alex, expression morphing rapidly between fury and shock. She sputters for a moment before snapping, “What –that’s all you have to fucking say?”

Alex pauses, turning slightly so she can see Artemis. She raises one eyebrow, otherwise looking unbothered. “Is there something else I should be saying?”

“You don’t have anything to say to me?” Artemis presses, crossing her arms over her chest. “Nothing at all?”

“Is there something you want me to say to you?” Alex fires back, smirking slightly.

Artemis stares at Alex for a long, hard moment. She shakes her head, eyes welling up with tears, then turns her glare onto your uncle. “You really didn’t fucking tell her.”

“What?” Alex’s expression sobers, going wary as she looks between your uncle and Artemis. “What didn’t you—”

“This really isn’t the time or place—” Your uncle tries.

And here it goes.

“I’ve gotta do all the work, then,” Artemis snarls with a vicious smile. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense, considering I’m not your favorite,” she tacks on with an angry glare towards you. She storms towards Alex, one hand outstretched, with a cruel, angry smile stretched across her face. “Hey, mom. How’s it going?”

Alex’s eyes widen. She stares at Artemis, eyes tracking over the younger woman’s face. “What…”

“You fucking heard me.”

Illyana, Piotr, and Mikhail look at each other, then at Alex, then at Nikolai. They explode into confused Russian, gesturing between their parents, Artemis, and your uncle—

Realization dawns in Alex’s dark eyes. Her expression trembles, tears welling up in her eyes as she stares at Artemis’s face.

And then she uses her telekinesis to yank your uncle over and decks him.

[mythiccheroacademia]

Okay bcuz this manga has me fucked all the way up,I need me some happy headcanons with Shigi and Dabi,like how would they be if they had a childhood sweetheart s/o that stayed with them ever since they knew each other?Knew each other better than anyone kinda deal?

A/N: The way this manga is fucking with my emotions don’t sit right in my spirit. I hope these headcanons add a little fluff to your life. Sorry it’s not all the way fluffy. I had to stick to character. But, they're as fluffy as a homicidal maniacs can be🥺     

Warnings: implied sexual activity, toxic relationship dynamics, death?, idk man

Tomura Shigaraki:

if there was one thing shigiraki’s enemies saw redeemable in him, it was his care for his friends

yes, he had a hard time trusting people (who can blame him), he wasn’t patient, he threw temper tantrums at his big age, and he barely showered

but he cared about his friends bc the only genuine love he felt, besides his sister, was from his friendship with you

before his quirk manifested, he and you would play with heroes all the time!

even when his dad would yell at him and give you dirty looks, you were still his friend

he never really forgot about you after his disappearance

your love and presence would always be in his heart

he was just busy dealing with, y’know, psychological trauma and world destruction

then, one day, you both saw each other when he was doing his daily walks and took time to catch up

you meet up all the time, and in those moments, you start to fall for one another

he was frustrated that he started becoming self-conscious about his skin, but you never failed to tell him how he still reminded you of the cute, shy, boy back in the day

then you’d recoil in embarrassment and tell him to forget you said that

it was annoying, but you actually made him blush

wears half gloves so he can touch your hand

he even stole a phone so he could text you

he doesn’t feel the need to wear the hands with you

at first, shigaraki kept you away from the LoV bc he didn’t know if he could trust you

and he didn’t want you a part of the violence, but he eventually couldn’t hide it when you started questioning him about his whereabouts—and it was so hard to lie to you

not when you still looked at him like he looked at you—like you were the world

little by little shigaraki starts to reveal his history, his thoughts, ideologies, and plans to you

at first, you’re horrified, and you immediately try to convince him to stop his plans

it ends up in a fight and he walks away before he does something he regrets

he laughs at the pain coursing through his chest bc why would you agree with him? he was a fool for thinking you’d join him. how could you? you were miss perfect

doesn’t cry but is noticeably angrier

heartbreak is a bitch

but then he gets a text from you to meet him at your apartment

it’s cryptic and so fucking dramatic but he shows up only bc he wants to set you straight

he’s surprised to feel you connect foreheads, just like you two did when he got nervous as a child, and tell him

“i don’t agree with your methods, but i’ll follow you if it’s to keep you safe. i lost you once and i refuse to lose you again”

in a moment of weakness, shigaraki kisses you

and the deal is sealed

it’s true he wants to destroy everything

and it’s true he doesnt want to be around after he does

but, at least he’ll enjoy the time he has with you

you mask your identity to everyone but shigaraki, only showing up to save him

throughout your time, you watch him grow, mature, and truly fit into the role of a leader when he becomes the head of the Paranormal Liberation Front

finally keeps up with his hygiene lmao

you spend countless nights talking, kissing, and other not kid-friendly things

you two knew everything about the other

you start to see his POV as you observe the poor actions of heroes and the civilians

soon, you’re always by his side—there’s never a time he’s somewhere and you’re not and vice versa

people catch on that you’re not just some bodyguard

they start treating you like they would shigaraki based on your power and their leader’s own demand for them to

many try to ask about your identity and shigaraki is quick to shut that shit down

you even dutifully watch him as the old doctor takes him through his torturous transformation

and when the heroes come to capture him, you’re in the shadows waiting…

Dabi:

he’s a Todoroki

no, I don’t accept criticism

anyway

when he was young, you and the older todorokis would hang out together

you only knew each other bc you were rich and your parents were internationally recognized pro-heroes

you were dragged to so many boring hero events

you’d talk so much shit about how two-faced heroes were

that’s how all four of you bonded

there were times touya would disappear and you’d be confused

fuyumi and natsuo said he was “training”

you didn’t really think much of it so you went on with life

every time he came back, he was covered in bandages

after the fifth time, you ask him about it and he just breaks down and tells you everything

he tells you all about endeavor’s harsh training, how much he thought of him as a failure, and about how he was literally burning from the inside out

you were young and could barely process this

your life was perfect, how could you ever relate?

however, you promised to always be by his side

you wouldn’t let him feel alone

even after a day of abuse, touya would look forward to texting you

you’d talk about movies, comics, who was the best hero, who would win the world cup this year, etc.

would sneak into your house to play video games

it’s ended up in cuddling more often than he’s willing to admit

it wasn’t long before you two knew everything about one another

even about the dark thoughts in his head

it worried you, but again, you didn’t think much of it

how could you know it lead him to faking his own death?

something you didn’t know he had done until he appeared at your door years later

who the hell was this and why did he look like an overcooked omelet?

you didn’t even believe it was him until he told you he was right about Barcelona winning the world cup in 2009

you spent half the day crying and the other cussing him out for letting everyone think he was dead

goes, “lol, yeah that was wild. help me dye my hair?”

what an asshole

your relationship is weird and toxic

you guys are best friends teetering on lovers but it’s confusing bc dabi is cryptic is hell

he confessed that he liked you but tells you that he’s too dangerous for you

like this was some Twilight fanfic

like, okay Edward Cullen

but he’s serious bby, my mans is out here committing homicide

not good

he’ll text you from time to time and randomly shows up at your apartment like he owns the place

you’ll talk, have sex, and talk some more

eventually straight up tells you about his end goal and you’re like

????

you: touya, no???

him: dabi, yes

speaking of which, makes you call him dabi when he’s not in your guts

despite him being a dick, he’s quite charming when he wants to be

takes you to the best spot to see the city lights

or the stars on the beach

always tells you not to worry about him and that he has everything under control

very very protective

won’t like if you're involved with anything hero or villain-like

if you’re a civilian, ensures that you stay that way bc he’ll be damned if you get involved with what’s happening

stalks you (for “safety purposes”)

you two always fight when you catch him snooping around

but has the audacity to ghost you and come back like nothing happened

it’s so toxic

hates knowing that you cry when he comes back battered and burning from fights but he’s got a mission, srry bby

someone’s gotta take out endeavor

being close to him is not for the faint of heart, but you have to take it or leave it bc he’s set on his life’s purpose

the night before the war takes place, he’s suspiciously touchy

makes you promise that no matter what happens, you’ll find him if society starts to crumble

you're like…what the hell, dabi? stop speaking in riddles. just say you wanna marry me and go

but honey, he’s 100% serious and you’ll find out soon enough

[autisticsupervillain]

The Makara Sisters

Ladies and gentlemen, it's finally here. My villainstuck Calliope post. @icedreaper I certainly hope you enjoy my friend.

Now this. This provides me with a fascinating challenge. How do you corrupt someone who is inherently good? Calliope is the heroic half of Caliborn. That seems as close to incorruptible as you can be in the Homestuck multiverse. Well, Calliope is about to learn that good is a very subjective term. The road to hell is paved with good intentions after all.

Our tale begins on Earth C. Calliope had moved in next to Roxy, as she was one of the people she knew best. Calliope is still a bit of a fangirl and casually rooming up with the people she idolized is kinda overwhelming for her. As such, she spends most of her time with Roxy and her friends. It’s not until years later that she gets to have another long conversation with any of the Beta Kids.

It happens during a party. The 5 year anniversary of the day the kids beat the game. Roxy had voided up all the necessities, with a little help from Jane for reference. That night, Calliope sees Dave sitting at a table completely smashed. Calliope asks if he’s doing alright and immediately sees through Dave’s bullshit when he insists he is. Calliope is best friends with Roxy. She knows what grief drinking looks like at this point and that’s exactly what Dave is doing. If he were sober, Dave would be able to keep his mask on and brush of Calliope's concern. But, he’s completely hammered, so he starts running his mouth. Dave admits that, while he was setting up the speakers and trying to get the music to sound right, Dirk surprised him.

The way Dirk was dressed, with his hat and his shades, and with how much he’d grown over the years, for a minute, Dirk looked a lot like Bro. Dave freezes up and flashes back for a minute before Dirk snap him out of it. Dirk comforts Dave about it as Dave vents his heart out at him for a bit. Basically retreading the conversation from when Dave gives him that big hug. Bro’s abuse still happened and that still creeps in sometimes. So, it’s good that the Striders can have these conversations. After a few cracks at how “fucked in the head" they are, the Striders begin pondering their counterparts. More specifically, Alpha Dave. Dave speculates that Alpha Dave was who he would’ve grown up to be if he didn’t have John, Rose, and Jade to lean on. Of course, sense Dirk doesn’t really know him well enough to define Alpha Dave as a person, that doesn’t really clear anything up. That just leaves the uncomfortable question of what a Dave without friends would’ve looked like. Especially with the way Bro turned out.

Soon the party started, and Dirk advised Dave to have fun and take his mind off it. Dave tries, but finds he can’t. It’s eating at him more than it should and he decides to go for a drink. One drink turns to several and then Calliope showed up.

At the end of his drunken ramble, Calliope expresses her sympathy. While she doesn’t know Dave very well, she knows someone in a similar situation to Alpha Dave. She mentions her God-Tier counterpart and reassures Dave that, while Calliope did become a much colder person, she did not become a bad one. Dave is a good person at heart and Calliope assures him that he always will be, regardless of what happens. That’s when Dirk and Rose show up. Dirk thanks Calliope for comforting Dave and explains that he figured something like this would happen and went to fetch Rose to help. Calliope watches them drag Dave home so they could talk to him in private before returning to the party.

The next day, Dave invites Calliope over and thanks her for giving him someone to lean on. The two start visiting regularly and they quickly become friends. They talk about their alternate selves often and Dave eventually mentions that he would’ve liked to meet his Alpha counterpart, if only to put his fears to rest. When Calliope asks if he’s ever discussed this with Dirk, Dave says that it’d be awkward. Bro was a terrible person and all it’d do is make Dirk feel worse about himself. So, Calliope just suggests asking John to let him visit Alpha Dave and Dave goes quiet. He takes a deep breath, figuring that he’s already dumped a lot on Calliope as it is, so there’s no backing out now. He admits that he’s scared to see what his Alpha counterpart is like. Dave has quite a few flaws himself and given how Dirk turned out…

Calliope mentions Davesprite, who had a nasty life himself but still turned out to be a good person, but Dave still remains hesitant. He clams up and Calliope admits that this is probably a conversation he should have with Rose or Dirk. Calliope apologizes for making her company awkward but Dave still thanks her as she leaves. He needed a fresh set of eyes to look at his issues before he began talking them out with his closer friends.

After a few days of stewing on the issue, Dave finally calls up Rose to have a chat with her. Rose brings up a lot of the same points Calliope and ultimately gets to the root of where this new issue comes from. Now that Dave has had time to process how harmful most of what he’s been raised on actually is, he’s worried about how it’s effected him as a person. Basically, he’s worried he might end up as a terrible person because Bro was a terrible person and that constant fear of failure that Bro’s abuse instilled in him is keeping him from just dissipating these feelings logically. Sure, Dave knows he’s not a bad person. He knows, logically, that he’s just a kid trying his best to be a good person. But, Bro instilled a bunch of self loathing in him by constantly beating the shit out of him when he was a kid. That doesn’t just go away. Rose is smart and she knows Dave well enough to comfort him, but she’s not the psychoanalytical genius she used to think she was. The only advice she can give him is from the heart. So, she admits that Dave venting to her was a good first step. But the only one who will know whether or not meeting Alpha Dave will help or not is him. All she can do is listen to and support him. It’s up to Dave to decide if he thinks that will be enough.

A few more days of contemplation later, Dave approaches John and asks him to help meet Alpha Dave.

The two Dave’s talk for awhile, after Alpha Dave calms down from seeing two young men in pajamas spontaneously appear right in front of him. Alpha Dave sympathizes with the younger Strider once he’s all caught up and admits that he didn’t have the best life growing up either. So that’s why he’s being earnest when he says that Dave’s handling it the best he can. Your upbringing doesn’t define you, you define you. And Dave has defined himself a good person who loves his friends and is working hard to work through his trauma. After a big hug, Alpha Dave asks if he could meet Dirk and Davesprite.

On the day of Dirk’ birthday party, Dirk is greeted at home by three Daves instead of two. Cue Strider group hug.

After a long party, Alpha Dave expresses how happy he is to have finally met Dirk. He expresses how happy he is to see two versions of himself grew up to get happy endings and shows how proud he is in Dirk. Even if he’s destined to die, he can die happy knowing that his little bro grows up happy.

Calliope gets caught up by John about the goings on after Alpha Dave returns to his own timeline. She’s happy to know that she helped the Striders, indirectly or otherwise, and Dirk thanks her for giving him the happiest party of his life.

After everything winds down and people start turning in for the night, Calliope thoughts return to God-Tier Calliope, thanks to Alpha Dave reminding her of her. She contemplates if getting to see Earth C and make friends like she did would make her happier.

She waits a few months before asking John for help again, letting him cool off from all the time traveling, partying, and emotional catharsis. She asks him to take her to wear the Green Sun used to be so she can grab God-Tier Calliope’s body and bring her back to be revived by Jane.

God-Tier Calliope is very put off by her new surroundings. A massive, life filled world, filled with other sentient, sapient life forms. She has a hard time opening up and she always comes off as distant next to her counterpart. Not unpleasant, just cold.

She tries to open. Tries to make friends. Calliope insists that this is what made her happy. But it just doesn’t click. Calliope ponders the problem over before coming to a realization. All the ways she was able to contact her human friends. All the technology. All the toys. That had to be given to her by someone. Both Calliopes have vague memories of someone caring for them when they were younger… but they just couldn’t remember who.

So, Calliope asks John for another big favor in order to find out who raised her. When the two find out it was Gamzee, Calliope is ecstatic to have a father figure like what Jane and John had, only for John to cough awkwardly and elaborate who Gamzee actually is. John doesn’t know all the details himself, but he does know that Gamzee apparently killed some of Karkat’s friends and attempted some more horrible stuff. Calliope is distraught but John can’t give any more details. Neither Karkat or Vriska like to talk about it. Dejected, Calliope and John return where Calliope briefs her God-Tier counterpart on the situation.

So, God-Tier Calliope just teleports over to Karkat and bluntly asks about Gamzee. The naked, showering Karkat proceeds to screech his lungs out.

After patiently waiting out Karkat’s tantrum, Calliope clarifies that Gamzee may have been her father. Karkat pauses before shoeing her out of the room so he can finish his shower.

Then John teleports in to warn him about Calliope and Karkat screeches again.

After Karkat finally wraps up and gets dressed, he and John sit down with the Calliopes to explain. John questions whether or not he should be a part of this, but Karkat insists. Honesty is the backbone of a healthy relationship and the Gamzee thing has been eating at him for awhile now. Karkat explains that Gamzee was one of his best friends, even if he didn’t always treat him like it. Which is something that Karkat regrets seeing how he snapped and started murdering people. Karkat would’ve tried to calm him down, stop him, but that plan got shunted aside thanks to the retcon. Karkat goes into self loathing mode, he doesn’t even know why Gamzee started killing people and he blames himself for that. Calliope reassures him and John helps pull him out of his funk while God-Tier Calliope just bluntly asks when and how Gamzee raised her. Karkat admits that he has no idea and that he doesn’t know where to find him now. All he can confirm is that he’s still alive. God-Tier Calliope leaves the conversation at that point, allowing her mortal counterpart to catch up with her later.

Calliope asks about her chilly demeanor and God-Tier Calliope still admits that she doesn’t still fully get this friendship thing. She can see that there’s something there between her counterpart and her friends, but she doesn’t fully get it. She just can’t feel it. After all, she’s a healthy Cherub and Cherubs don’t have friends. Regardless, Calliope tries to help give her a push in the right direction with some nicknames. From now on, everyone will refer to God-Tier Calliope as Callie, calling back to Roxy's nickname. After all, Calliope loved it when she was befriending Roxy, so surely it’ll grow on Callie.

Calliope and Callie start scouring the globe for Gamzee’s refrigerator. However, Jake ends up being the one to find it. Callie coldly thanks Jake for his assistance and awkwardly hugs him. She almost crushes his ribs, but it’s the thought that counts. Hugs are a thing that friends do after all. Callie informs Jake that, while the exact details are personal, Gamzee could potentially still be dangerous and they might need him for backup.

When Gamzee stumble out of the fridge and adjusts his eyesight, the first thing he sees is Calliope. His first instinct is to envelope her in a hug. Nearly a minute passes before he notices Callie hovering over them and Jake training a gun on him.

Gamzee tries to hug Callie as well, but she pushes him back and starts interrogating him. Even when being held several feet in the air, Gamzee is still gushing over his daughter and Callie events puts him down at Calliope’s insistence. Gamzee’s blabbering comes to a dead halt once Callie bluntly asks why he killed Nepeta and Equius. Jake notices the mood shift and awkwardly excuses himself from the conversation, making sure he’s still in yelling distance.

Gamzee sits down, stares up at the sky and confesses to everything. He killed for two reasons. One was in service to his dark master Lord English, whom he believed would destroy reality and replace it with the Dark Carnival. An eternal paradise, free from all the abandonment and suffering he’d been cursed with. The other reason was Calliope herself. When he met her, when he first saw her hatch, he fell in love with her. She was the first person in his life to love him unconditionally.

He goes on into detail about how Lil' Cal, the Gamzee part of Lil' Cal talked about Calliope in his brief moments of clarity. Gamzee didn’t believe it until he met her himself.

Calliope isn’t sure what to make of her surrogate father. He’s a bad person by his own admission and the fact that he was, to an extent, motivated by her just makes it even more complicated. Callie rests a hand on her counterpart’s shoulder and asks Gamzee why she didn’t get this treatment. Gamzee hazards a guess that his counterpart wanted her to survive in that timeline. Cherubs grow best on isolation after all. It was even something he considered doing in the main timeline, given he loved Calliope more than her “brother". Callie suggests that they take Gamzee back to the house. Live with him for a few days. Give Calliope the chance to know him and sort out her conflicted feelings, while also making sure that he’s being monitored by one of the most powerful God-Tiers on Earth should he prove to be untrustworthy.

Jake doesn’t ask what their conversation was about, as he feels like it was a private affair. He’s confident that his dear friend and her alternate counterpart can handle whatever it is they’ve gotten themselves into. However, he is asked a question by Callie: What’s a sister? Gamzee kept referring to the two of them as such. Jake and Calliope explain the concept of siblings to Callie and the two decide too adopt the term. Callie and Calliope. Twin Cherub Sisters.

Over the course of the next few months, Callie and Calliope get to know Gamzee better. Gamzee is fully remorseful for his actions. He reveals more of why he took the path he did to his daughters overtime. He talks about the Sopor. He talks about his faith. He talks about his dad. Eventually, he even brings himself to talk about Tavros.

The sisters notice the way his demeanor shifts. The mood always lightens whenever he talks about Tavros. He looks like he’s somewhere else, somewhere warmer and nicer. In those brief moments, Gamzee looks like Gamzee again.

He refuses to tell them who killed Tavros. He insists he doesn’t know.

Meanwhile, Jake has been incredibly shifty on the details of his exhibition with the Calliopes. His friends know he’s hiding something from them, Jake can’t lie for shit. But, when pressed, he tells them that it’s something the Calliopes wanted him to keep secret. So the subject is left alone.

That is, until Vriska Serket catches wind of it.

It starts innocuously enough. John heard about Jake’s little trip, so he asks about it at the next anniversary party. Jake says the matter is private, so John drops the issue. Vriska overhears and starts hounding him for details. Jake went on an adventure with the two Calliopes and didn’t invite her? This is the most interesting thing to happen in ages! What happened? Who’s involved? What’s going on!?! Jake finds he can’t slip away and ends up accidentally dropping Gamzee’s name. Vriska’s enthusiastic interrogation suddenly turns death serious as she starts squeezing the facts out of him.

Gamzee is enjoying his quiet time at home, waiting for his kids to come back, when Vriska bursts through the wall. A brutal, bloody fight breaks out that lasts most of the night. Right when it looks like someone’s about to win, the Cherub Sisters get home. Callie steps in an demands to know what the hell Vriska is doing. Now that the two are restrained, Gamzee and Vriska argue instead. Calling each other murderers, abusers, manipulators, and every other nasty word the two can think of. Gamzee finally lets slip that Vriska is the one who killed Tavros.

Callie promptly hefts Vriska up by her neck. Even Calliope is giving her weird looks as Callie demands an explanation. Vriska stammers to think of a justification, but she comes up short. Killing Tavros was one of the few things she regretted, after all. Instead, she calls in back up. Vriska fully expects Callie to kill her, so she mind controls Terezi. Everything comes to a halt back at the party as Terezi suddenly shouts about Vriska being attacked down at the Cherub household.

John teleports everyone over there, causing mass chaos when they see what’s happening. Karkat demands an explanation from Gamzee, Callie demands an explanation from Vriska, Terezi demands an explanation Callie, and everyone is yelling at everyone. John, Jane, and everyone else who is trying to get people to calm down are drowned out in the sea of noise, until everything suddenly freezes. Aradia asks everyone to calm down, putting some emphasis on Callie specifically seeing how she’s probably strong enough to just break out of Aradia’s time stop.

What proceeds is effectively a trial, with Aradia reigning as Judge. The question of who exactly is on trial almost sparks another argument, but that gets shut down quick. Both Vriska Serket and Gamzee Makara on trial today and both immediately start flinging dirt at the other. The argument goes in circles as the two throw accusations and excuses at each other, forcing Aradia to break up a few fights. Vriska claims that she had an abusive lusus as an excuse, Gamzee points out that at least she had lusus. Gamzee calls Vriska out on her abusive behavior, John mentions the Pre-Retcon timeline. Vriska calls Gamzee a murderer and Gamzee has to be restrained from beating the shit out of her for what she did to Tavros.

Eventually, the whole thing comes down to a vote. It’s decided that they can’t really hold Gamzee accountable if they’re not going to hold Vriska accountable, as they share a lot of the same excuses and crimes. Regardless of what they’ve done, they still have loved ones among them, especially in the form of Terezi and the Calliopes respectively. Basically, the policy is “live and let live". Earth C is a place of new beginnings for a lot of people. Maybe it’s best to let them start over.

Later that week, Vriska vents at Terezi about being compared to Gamzee. I mean, Gamzee was the big threat that she saved everyone from. Vriska is the good guy here! Terezi points out that Vriska nearly got them all killed and Vriska meekly concedes the point. Vriska decides she should put her money where her mouth is and try to apologize to Gamzee. After all, they’re supposedly really similar and they both just want to me better people, right? So it should be no problem for her to just walk in and apologize.

Gamzee still gives her a chilly reception when she shows up and Vriska isn’t one to take insults lying down. Things quickly escalate into an argument from there before Callie breaks it up and asks Vriska to leave. This pattern repeats for awhile. One would approach the other, an argument would ensue, and Karkat or Callie or Terezi or whoever would intervene and split them up. It happened yearly, then monthly, then daily. Karkat is especially frustrated because he thinks they would make great kissmesises, but neither of them want to go there. Gamzee refuses to give her the time of day for what she did to Tavros and Vriska is so bothered by their similarities that she keeps approaching him about it. This leads to arguments, fights, split ups, and the cycle repeats.

Eventually, Calliope gets an idea. Gamzee’s main hang up with Vriska is what she did to Tavros, right? So, they can just resurrect Tavros, have him forgive Vriska, and problem solved! It worked great with Dave’s issues, so it should work this time. John is getting a bit tired of constantly refereeing their fights himself, so he agrees to help them. They just snatch Tavros’s body from the latest point in the timeline and resurrect him. Problem solved.

Things go off the rails very quickly. Gamzee and Tavros are ecstatic to see each other again and Tav nearly bowls him over with a hug. But, when he asks for a catch up on what everyone has been up too, Gamzee hesitates. Ultimately, Gamzee is serious about wanting to be a better person, for the sake of his daughters', so he decides to be honest. He tells Tavros everything that he did. Everything that happened and why. He even explains what he planned to do to Terezi.

Tavros doesn’t forgive him.

Tavros sees the similarities and they’re enough for him to not be comfortable around Gamzee anymore. He leaves and tells Gamzee not to contact him.

Gamzee tries anyways, to no avail. He begins to shut himself off from the rest of the world. He doesn’t even speak to Karkat anymore. All the good progress he made begins going down the drain. His best bro, his first bro, doesn’t think he’s worth it anymore. What’s he supposed to make of that?

The Cherub Sisters comfort him, try to get him out of his shell. It works, to an extent, but Gamzee quickly becomes possessive. It gets worse day by day, from Gamzee stalking them to him trying to keep them from leaving the house. The Cherub Sisters go to Rose for advice, given she’s the psychologist, but she admits that she’s a little out of her depth when it comes to Gamzee. She advises spending some time away from him and letting Karkat take care of him. He’s his moirail, after all, this is his job.

But, when the sisters go on a trip, Karkat struggles to bring Gamzee out of his shell. He’s far to despondent and doesn’t seem to react to anything Karkat tries. Whenever Gamzee’s about to open up, he looks at Karkat and sees another person he failed, betrayed, and immediately clams up.

When the Sisters get back, he’s an even more possessive, self destructive mess than he was last time, to the point of watching them sleep every night. Calliope decides that they need to time travel again to fix this. John is hesitant, given last time apparently didn’t work out, but he agrees to help. This time, the sisters decide to grab his lusus. But, when introduced, Gamzee’s lusus turns around and swims away, which only sends him further down into his spiral. It’s gotten to the point where Gamzee flat out forgets to eat or sleep for days on end. When the sisters go to him again for help, John tries to refuse, stating they’re just making things worse, but Callie demands that he help out.

This time, the sisters bring Gamzee a recouperacoon to help treat his newfound insomnia. This ends with him diving head first back into addiction. Even Vriska seems concerned when she comes over for another argument, only to find him blankly staring at the ceiling. The more Gamzee’s mental state decays, the more desperate the sisters get to help him. At first, John blatantly refuses to help them any further, because all they’re doing is making things worse, but then he relents when Callie actually threatens him into helping.

When John had dropped them off on a dead planet in the middle of a seemingly Doomed Timeline, he seemed confused. Callie explained to Calliope, once they were out of earshot, that she heard a legend once of a powerful Cherub who got her hands on the Treasure. The Cherub rampaged her way across the multiverse for centuries, leaving countless bodies in her wake, before being killed by a legendary Void Player. They’re there to obtain the Treasure from her body.

None of them notice the torn up Muse of Space outfit hanging on a tombstone. A memorial to an old friend.

When he brings the sisters back, John takes them to Dirk and Dave in order to stage an intervention. They’re creating a negative feedback loop. Gamzee’s falling further into his funk, which is making the sisters more desperate to help him. This causes their actions to become more hasty, which leads to them making short sighted mistakes, leading to an ongoing cycle. The sisters agree to stop meddling and claim they need time alone to sort things out.

But, it’s to late for that now. If some had stopped them sooner, talked to them a day earlier, the sisters could’ve been talked down. But now? It was to late. They were committed now. Their father needed them.

Their plan is simple. Callie reasons that the reason the Gamzee is still suffering, still losing, is that he was thematically predestined to. That’s the theme of his character. Tragedy and comedy. The duality of a lethal joke character. So, if they change what his theme is, what the narrative of his character is, they can change his fate. It makes some sort of sense… even if it is a desperate long shot when you think about it

So, how does one change the themes surrounding one’s character? They just need to change his aspect. Rage is defined by chaos, destruction, discontent, and the aforementioned duality. They just need to change his aspect to something else. And, in order to do that, they need a ritual.

All of reality is made up of games within games. Copies of SBURB that generate copies of SBURB on and on. Those games are made up of code and code can be decompiled. They just need to find the debug tool, reprogram Gamzee’s aspect, and thus eliminate all the thematic suffering that plagues his character.

In order to find the Debug Tool, the Sisters need to jump through some hoops. Using the Retcon Powers, Calliope and Callie approach a random Lord of Light, asking him to use his absolute knowledge to confirm their theory. He obliges, mostly to avoid fighting a powerful Muse of Space. Apparently, in order to find the Debug Tool, you’d have to gather up the fragments of its code that are hidden around Paradox Space. Luckily, the Lord knows where they are, thanks to knowledge being Light's mo. He gives them a list of what to search for and where to find it. The Sisters depart on their journey.

Calliope and Callie come across a Doomed version of Beforus and explain their quest to the local version of Feferi. The Empress admits that she does have something like that and is, in fact, happy someone has come to take it off her hands. The last time she tried messing with that strand of code, she ended up glitching a nearby galaxy out of existence, so she resorted to locking it up and throwing away the key.

Unfortunately, things begin to go wrong once Callie tries interacting with the fragment of code. The Sisters are effectively script kiddies in this “the multiverse is all code" analogy. Meaning, they don’t fully understand what they’re doing and they’re to desperate to fully care. Once the Sisters leave with the code fragment, Beforus's timeline begins glitching. It starts out like a particularly buggy Bethesda game and quickly descends into a lovecraftian nightmare. The Sisters only realize the damage they’ve caused when they see the timeline they just left “crash" and corrupt itself, leaving only buggy horrorterrors and amalgamated monstrosities in its wake. Calliope is horrified to see that they just destroyed an entire timeline, but Callie tries to remain calm. While she’s clearly shaken, she reasons that they can just undo the damage once the Debug Tool is put back together. It’s not like they can save the timeline now, it’s the only responsible thing to do. Calliope reluctantly agrees.

This pattern continues. The Cherubs travel from timeline to timeline, collecting bits of code and leaving buggy messes in their wake. With every piece collected, more damage is done to the very foundation of Paradox Space. Not only do timelines break apart, but survivors who escape said timelines act as viruses that allow the broken code to infest other timelines. People become living, unwitting Trojan Horses, spreading their glitches to other sessions. The spread only gets worse once the infection reaches the dreambubbles. Those who don’t die suffer as unrecognizable abominations.

This just makes the Sisters more desperate to fulfill their goal. Gamzee becomes an afterthought as they start racing to save reality.

Word soon spreads of the precursors of this event. Descriptions of the Capricious Makara Sisters, who would steal the keystones to your reality and doom your timeline to destruction.

The Alpha Trolls and the Ancestors in the dreambubbles team up to try and quarantine the event , with Aranea communicating with Vriska to inform Earth C of the ongoing apocalypse. The Earth C team help out where they can, but they begin to hear things about these so called Makara Sisters. Descriptions and details through the grape vine that sound hauntingly familiar. It’s Roxy who pits the pieces together as her gut sinks in horror.

The Makara Sisters teleport in to find a piece of the code, only to find their friends waiting for them. Roxy, Dave, Karkat, Dirk, and everyone else tries to reason with them. To talk them out of this crusade. The Cherubs don’t know what they’re doing. That’s the whole reason things got this bad. If the complete the Debug Tool, much less use it to mess with something as important as Aspects, they could potentially destroy all of Paradox Space. Quarantine efforts are making good headway, they don’t need to risk all this.

It’s to late though. Calliope is convinced that the Debug Tool is the only thing that can prevent Armageddon. During their argument, Callie breaks down in tears.

Gamzee was the first person she loved. Not appreciated, not cared for, loved. Over time, she’d grown attached to Gamzee. She learned about this things humans called family and she fully embraced it. Gamzee was her father and Callie was going to save him.

Calliope comforts her sister after her breakdown, allowing the two to teleport away.

The Makara Sisters continue collecting pieces of the code, destroying more timelines and making quarantine that much more difficult, until only one remains. The last piece of code, buried deep within Earth C's core. And all that stood between them were all of their friends.

No matter what happens, Roxy will always remember Calliope as her friend.

[even-after-a-millennia]

my home from long ago

I finally wrote a fic with Lykon in it!  Well, sort of.  (Trigger warning for nonconsensual drug use)

Summary: When The Old Guard tries to apprehend a group who stole hallucinogens, Andy and Quynh are exposed and see part of their family who has been long lost to them.

The fic is below or over on my ao3 here.

“I want it put down for the record what a bad idea I think it is that you guys take this job,” Copley Two said the moment that the video call started.  His real name was Callum, but as he had taken over for Copley after his retirement, he bore the nickname with grace.

“Noted,” Andy said drily.  “What are the details?”

Callum sighed, but began reading his notes.  “According to a friend of mine over at MI6, there is a scientist that is working on an interactive, virtual reality experience that allows the user to interact with people they have lost, in order to be able to start the healing process and move on.  It pairs VR with a cocktail of aerosol hallucinogens to allow the user to be truly immersed.”  He looked up at the screen for a moment.  “Anyone else wondering how the hell they even got cleared to do this?”

“We can focus on that later.  C’mon, CT, where do we come in?” Nile asked.

“Right.  Well, last Thursday, the lab was broken into and most of the hallucinogens were stolen.  The scientist is worried that the people who stole it are planning to use it as a torture device, manipulating the hallucinogenic effects to induce mental torture.  We need you to retrieve the hallucinogens and destroy any replications that have been created.  If you can capture rather than kill those responsible, it would be appreciated.”

He paused and set down his notebook.  “Given your backgrounds, I feel the need to caution you before you agree to take this job.  Should you get into a situation where the hallucinogens are released and you are caught up in the simulation, you all have more than enough trauma between you to devastate your minds.  Please think carefully before making your decision.”

Andy reached out and took Quynh’s hand.  They exchanged a look, then nodded.

“We can do it.”

Nicky and Joe nodded.

They turned to Booker and Nile, the only two that hadn’t spoken up.

“I would be lying if I didn’t say I really don’t want to be exposed to that gas,” Nile said.  She was still reeling from the death of her mother, only three years prior.

“Myself as well,” Booker said.  “I feel it could trigger old wounds.”

“However,” Nile said, straightening her shoulders, “there are other people out there who have also been who hell, who need to be saved from being exposed to that.  So.  I’m in.”

Booker sighed, then nodded.

Andy turned to Copley Two.  “Where do we need to go?”

____________________________________

Once Callum found where the thieves were hiding, it was easy to come up with a plan.  Nicky would be at the ready with his rifle, Joe as his spotter.  Nile, Booker, Andy, and Quynh would infiltrate the building and destroy any samples they came across.  If possible, they would go with nonlethal options for capture, unless that was no longer an option.

“Any signs of life from your end, Nicky?” Nile asked as they made their way through the warehouse.  Her voice was muffled behind the gas mask Callum had forced them all to wear.  He wasn’t sure if it would do anything against the hallucinogen, given that they knew very little about it, but it “helped calm his heart, which you all put through too much already,” according to him.

“There’s activity on the west side of the building, third floor,” came the response through their comms.

“Alright, Quynh with me to the third floor.  Booker, Nile, scan the bottom floors for any sign of the hallucinogen or a lab.  Nicky, Joe, watch our backs,” Andy ordered.

They split up.

Andy kept scanning their surroundings as they ascended, but there was no sign that people were in the building.  They kept going, Quynh a step behind her, her favorite handgun at the ready.  She was proficient with a gun as she was with a bow and arrow.  Andy gave her a small smile during her next scan, one that Quynh quickly returned.

They walked down the walkway towards the room Nicky had seen movement.  They each took a side of the closed door.  Quynh nodded, and Andy took a step back, then kicked the door in.  They rushed inside.

Only to see four people clearly out of their minds on the hallucinogens.  It was thick in the air and blurred Andy’s vision through her protective goggles.  Again, Copley Two’s idea.

“Arianna!  You’re here!” one of the people said, looking at Andy.

She raised an eyebrow.  Given she hadn’t ever been called Arianna, even throughout the course of her very long life, it was safe to assume that whoever the man was seeing wasn’t actually Andy.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, coming closer.

Andy went on alert, especially as another person turned to them.

“Adam, oh my god, it’s you!” the woman sobbed.  She ran up to Quynh and threw her arms around her.

She looked at Andy, who shrugged.

“We’ve got four people, all high as fuck.  Shouldn’t be too difficult to-”

“I’ve missed you so much,” the man said, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Andy’s.  He pulled back, and for a moment, Andy saw his eyes clear.  Then they narrowed and, before Andy could stop him, reached up and pulled on the gas mask.  It didn’t move much, but the break in the seal let the gas in.

It sat heavily on Andy’s tongue.

“Motherfu-” Andy managed before she felt the tug on her subconscious.  She elbowed the guy in the nose, knocking him unconscious.  She turned, ready to push Quynh out of the door.  It might be too late for Andy to not feel the effects, but Quynh hadn’t been exposed yet, she hadn’t-

Shit.

The woman in front of Quynh had gone in to kiss her, pulling her head in with grasping hands.  Her head hit against the mask as she pulled Quynh in and the combination of gestures broke the seal on Quynh’s mask too.

Andy knocked the woman back and grabbed Quynh’s arm, trying to ignore the things she was starting to see out of the corner of her eyes.

“C’mon we’ve gotta go, Quynh, come on!”

But Quynh wasn’t looking at Andy.  She was staring at something in front of her, someone who made her look full of joy and loss all at once.

Andy knew, before she even turned to look, who would be standing there.  But she couldn’t resist.

“Lykon…” Quynh said, rushing forward and jumping into the arms of her old friend.

“Hello, my beautiful sister,” Lykon said, hugging her back.  Quynh was sobbing into his shoulder as he looked up and gave Andromache the brilliant smile that she hadn’t seen in over a thousand years.

“Andromache.  I’ve missed you.”

“Andy, Quynh, come in!  Can you hear me?”

“Lykon,” Andy said, her voice choked.  “I am so sorry.  I didn’t have your back.”

“Andromache.”  The look he gave her was gentle but chiding.  “How could you have known?  You, the oldest of us, had no idea our immortality was finite.”

“But why you?!” she burst out.  It was the question that had haunted her since she had tried to hold Lykon’s stomach together as he bled out.  “You said, I am the oldest, I should have been the one to die, not you, Lykon.  Never you!”

Lykon whispered something into Quynh’s ear and she nodded, easing her hold on him.  She wiped her tears and held an arm open to her wife as Lykon did the same.

“Come, Andromache.  It has been far too long since I’ve held you,” Lykon said.

“I can’t,” Andy cried.  

“Why?”

Andy let out a shuddering breath.  “Because I don’t deserve it.”

“Andy! Quynh!  Nile, you have to get up there, I think-”

“Deserve what, Andromache?”

Andy couldn’t look at him as she said.  “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Lykon.  I don’t forgive myself.”

Quynh turned to Lykon.  “Much has happened since we lost you.  But we never forgot you.”

“I know.  Of course I know.”

Quynh swallowed.  “I would be lying if the loss of you didn’t feel like an unhealing wound.”

“I understand.  But I don’t want you to mistake grief with guilt.  They do not have to both exist.  Not in this,” Lykon said.  “It was my time.  The only grief I felt in that was to be parted from you.”

“I lost it,” Andy said suddenly, not looking at Lykon.  “My immortality.  And suddenly, all I wanted was to live.  I had my family, and we just added Nile, and then we got Quynh back.  But I also felt relief.  That finally, the universe was correcting the wrong.  Letting me be with you.  And then it came back.  And now I am more lost from you than ever.”

Lykon kissed Quynh’s forehead then let her go.  He walked up to Andy.  “Do I look lost to you?”

Andy finally let herself fully look at him.  He glowed with vitality and love and joy, all the things he exemplified in life, pouring out of him.  

“You look perfect.”

Lykon held out his arms.  “Please, Andromache?”

She let out a sob, then made her feet move forward.

Andromache the Scythian had had many homes throughout the years.  So many places, all blurred together.  It was only after she met Quynh that she let her home be found in people.  In Quynh.  In Lykon.  She hadn’t known how dangerous that was, until Lykon’s death.

Stepping into Lykon’s arms, Andy felt like she had come back to a long lost home for the first time in a millennium.

But there was something missing.

“Quynh,” she called.  “We need you.”

Her wife squeezed into the space between Andy’s right arm and Lykon’s left and they all pressed together, holding each other so tightly that it hurt.

And something that had been piercing Andy’s heart for so long that she hardly noticed it anymore unsheathed itself.

She felt relief.

Crash! Crash! Crash!

Andy took a breath and her head cleared a bit.  Another and she realized she was only holding Quynh in her arms.  Another and she pulled her wife closer as she started to sob.

“Andy?  Quynh?  Do you copy?” Nile’s voice rang through the comms.

“Copy,” Andy said, her voice hoarse.  “Quynh’s a bit overwhelmed.  Nicky shot out the windows?”

“He did.  You alright, boss?” Joe asked.

“Give it a few minutes to clear, then come in with the restraints.  I think they wanted to use the hallucinogen for its intended purpose, not maliciously, but we still need to bring them in.  They hotboxed the room and are still pretty out of it.  I think we were only influenced a little,” Andy said, not answering the question.

“Will do.”

Andy turned back to her wife.

“We’re going to be alright, trái tim của em,” Andy whispered, running a hand gently up and down her back.  

Quynh nodded into her shoulder, then finally raised her head and wiped her eyes.  “It was just so nice to see him again,” she said tearfully.

Andy looked around the room and the people who were still in the midst of their hallucinations.  She saw all the different emotions possible, from devastation to happiness.  Then she buried her face into Quynh’s hair.

“I miss him, Quynh,” she admitted quietly.

“Of course you do, Andromache.  But missing him doesn’t have to be contingent on staying guilty.  He wouldn’t want that,” Quynh said.

“Yeah,” Andy said, remembering that relief she felt.  “I’m starting to get that.”

She leaned back, kissing Quynh on the forehead just like Lykon had done.  “Are you alright?”

She shrugged.  “I will be.  It was a beautiful dream, and now I must wake.”

For now, that would have to be enough.  Later, Andy would take care of Quynh, help her through the emotional upheaval of seeing their long dead brother in arms.  Later, Andy would tell Nile and the others stories of Lykon, his kindness, his light, his talent for storytelling.  Later, she might even forgive herself.

But for now, Andy held Quynh until the air had cleared and their family came for them.

Translations: trái tim của em - my heart

[draftsofcertainties]

Here's the thing. Edwin and I met in a dating app. At one point my friends told me, as they know I'm exploring and trying to meet new people after the breakup, to invite guys I meet from the dating app over to our parties or dates. Since we were talking at that time, I asked him specifically if I can invite him over or we should just stay in an fwb setup where people only do fun and then nothing beyond that. I asked this because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or think that I'm inviting him over to meet my friends because we're going serious or anything. He's not the only one I asked by the way. During this time we haven't met yet, but I already thought of setting boundaries already because I don't want to entertain possible relationships yet. He told me it's okay to meet my friends but he's not looking for anything serious at the moment. I told him that I am too, and I also mentioned that I've met people who actually expected more from casual conversations and it's actually unappetizing. I mean, no offense to people who are actively searching for love, but personally I think it's unusual to declare you like someone without knowing and meeting them in person yet. You can say you're interested but not to a point where you can immediately decide you want to have a deeper relationship with some random stranger from the internet, regardless of how much you've already shared with each other.

I've been there. When my ex and I clicked, I thought we would last, we jumped right into commitment without thinking long and hard. Since we were young and idealistic, we thought we could make it last, you know? Conquer everything in the way. We lasted for good 5 years but it ended badly.

Back to Edwin. So at the outset we made it clear that we're not looking for anything serious, since we also learned that we both just came from a long-term relationship recently. Who knows? We could just be using ourselves as a distraction. To be honest, I did. I am. I searched for people who would talk to me just so I wouldn't have time to think of reaching out to my ex again. I talked to almost 10 people simultaneously. It was chaotic, exhausting, and time-consuming. I eventually decided to trim down the list and only kept the ones who were actually worth talking to. Edwin is one of those people. I think we clicked the most out of all the people I met recently.

He's actually the one who initiated to meet in person. He asked if we can stay together overnight to drink and more. This was maybe our first or second conversation, hence me thinking this is only good for a one night stand, or maybe friends with benefits. I mean, a guy who asks you out to a bed and breakfast date at the onset isn't just a guy who's doing it for the first time. It's like a longer version of checking in a motel, kind of like some sex plus random miscellaneous stuff. Since I try to be open to these kind of stuff after the breakup, I said yes. Even though initially I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean, for some people sex isn't a big deal, but for me it's a whole new process of opening up to a person again. As an introvert, it's already excruciating for me to spend some minutes talking to a person out of responsibility or casualness, and to spend a whole day and do intimate things with a stranger is a bit of an overwhelming idea for me at the start. Since I'm desperate for distraction, I agreed to it -- this is my time to explore. I also thought, if it's okay for him to spend some dragging hours with a stranger like me, then fuck it. Let's go. It's going to be one night and then he'll just have to bear my boring presence, my unexperienced-unexciting-unattractive-but-desperate-for-distraction version, and soon find someone else. I mean, isn't that what friends with benefits do? From what I've heard, if there are no benefits, staying friends is close to impossible, so you find another. Then another. Then another.

Since I'm a busy bee, I explained that I couldn't meet him for an overnight date very soon (plus some hesitation on my part, and also the struggle of making excuses for my parents everytime I go out). He actually isn't pushy at all. I almost thought he just asked me out just for the sake of conversation. I met other people online who actually made plans meeting me but didn't happen. I told him I would only be available for the next 3 weeks or so, and honestly that's a little too long to wait for sex, don't you think? I mean if this guy really wants to meet me, he has to bear another 3 weeks of talking to me, which I thought would let him down since I thought he could easily get another girl for an overnight fun without needing to wait that long. Yes, I apologize for my mindset is a little fucked up. I guess it's the trauma. I think everyone I meet from the dating up is fuckinf somebody else. Or they're talking to a bunch of other people besides me. I have no memory of people being loyal or faithful. I just know that everyone else wants to have fun, and that includes me.

(I drafted this a month ago I think?)

I trained myself to think of the worst from people, but don't get me wrong. It isn't prejudice. It's my coping mechanism to expect the worst from people so that when I learn some truth that may hurt me, it wouldn't hurt as much. Also, everyone has their own struggles, dark pasts, deep secrets, and you have to be ready for all of those when you decide to welcome someone in your life regardless of how close you want them to be to you.

How did we meet in person? It's just about a week after we started talking. It's his sister's birthday. I jokingly said I want some spaghetti and then he said maybe I should come over. I told him I could, I just had to secure a ride. Long story short, I got on my way to their house, brought a birthday cake for his sister and some food as courtesy. My friend gave me a ride to their place. It was already past 8 in the evening when I arrived. I finally saw him in flesh. He was wearing a mask, but I instantly fell in love with his eyes. As he walked closer to meet me I was feeling a lot more nervous that I did moments ago. Then we started walking our way to their house. I reached out to hold his hand, and asked if it was okay. He said yes. I felt embarrassed for a few seconds because I felt like I was being too forward, we haven't even settled yet. When we entered their gated compound, he stopped in a dimly lit area and told me we could stay for a few minutes there before entering their house. I put my things on the table. He stood right in front of me and talked to me. I forgot about the words he said, I was just amazed by how beautiful his voice sounded. I'm not hearing him through my earphones. It's real.

He reached out to hug me, and he noticed I'm shaking. He hugged me tighter. I looked up to him to stare closely at his face and then I smiled. He closed in on me until our lips met, and we kissed for the first time.

It's my favorite first kiss. Because it felt like it wasn't.

It felt like we've known each other for a long time already. He actually told me this a few days after. Even though I felt the same, I waited for him to tell me about it, just so I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way that day.

We kissed for a few more minutes, and the longing for more intimacy was starting to get more intense. We were making out passionately and he couldn't keep his hands in one place. He would grab my ass, squeeze my boobs, and hold my face. As much as I wanted to get it on already, damn we weren't in the right place for that. We stopped and caught our breaths and finally decided to go inside.

He introduced me to his sister who was currently working from home that time despite it being her birthday that day. He then introduced me to his mom. The three of us ate dinner together. Me, Edwin, and his mom. Surprisingly, there wasn't an awkward moment. Edwin eventually told me that his mom didn't expect that it was actually our first time to meet in person. After dinner, he introduced me to his father. And then we proceeded to talk over a bottle of brandy, with a lot of kissing in between. And we were either holding hands or hugging while talking. And I started worrying if it's okay since his family might think we're together, despite us meeting for in person for the first time.

I eventually found out that yes, his family did think we're already together, but Edwin cleared it out for them that we weren't, and he's not rushing things for us, since I just came from a recent breakup. Rushing for what? I thought maybe he already had his mind set that there's a chance for us to last a little longer by the way he talked about us to his family.

Sometimes I think, what if we didn't meet this way? What if the first time we meet in person was the planned one night fun? But I'm always grateful that we did meet this way. It's way more memorable.

[extreme-technicality]

i read ur entire ninjago post and now im lowkey invested,,, tell me abt ur daughter rumi

*evil laughter* yesssss, join meeeeee~~~

OKAY BUT MY EVIL DAUGHTER RUMI THO

She has like, fairly good motivations for Being Evil (as far as evil backstories go), and honestly if the writers had LET HER LIVE it could’ve been SO interesting, but I’m getting ahead of myself lmao. She was orphaned off-screen at the end of s1, and got adopted by the Ninjago Royal Family shortly after (why does ninjago have a royal family? who fucking cares lmao). BUT, she grew up hating the ninja because she blames them for her parents deaths. And since Garmadon was the one who actually killed the thing that killed her parents, he’s the only acceptable parental substitute in her mind. Basically, this poor girl has a lot of unprocessed grief and trauma and is coping as best she can - well, ish. She was actively choosing to manipulate literally everyone around her and attempting to bring back Lord Garmadon in his most evil form in order to enact her vengeance against the ninja specifically, but some people do that to COPE

And when I say she was manipulating everyone, I mean she was manipulating EVERYONE. Her parents, the staff, the other ninja - she played Lloyd like a fiddle at the start of s8, and the first hint we got was when she and Lloyd were having their heart-to-heart in s8e2(? I think). They were bonding over the stresses of their positions as leaders and the various masks they’ve had to wear and lay down, and Rumi mentions she has to spend most of her days in a mask. On the first watch, I took it at pretty much face value - she’s a princess, there’s a certain image and reputation she has to maintain, the mask she has to wear, and yeah maybe she likes girls instead of guys and that’s one more thing hidden under a mask, yknow? But once you find out that she’s SPEARHEADING the evil organization working to resurrect Garmadon, THAT CONVERSATION HAS SO MUCH MORE DEPTH!!!!! Honestly, the Rumi reveal is the best ninjago twist (imo) because it’s ASTONISHINGLY well-written!! There’s a few signs in the episodes leading up to the reveal, but they’re so subtle that unless you knew what you were looking for you wouldn’t see them!!!!!!! AND THEN THE DELIGHT ON HER FACE WHEN SHE COULD FINALLY SHED THE LAST OF HER MASKS AND WORK TO BRING GARMADON BACK AND HATE THE NINJA, LLOYD INCLUDED, OPENLY??? ABSOLUTELY UNMATCHED, MY BOY LLOYD WAS GETTING HIS HEART SHATTERED AND I FELT FOR HIM BUT ALSO SHE BECAME MY DAUGHTER IN THAT MOMENT AND SHE STILL IS

Also, there’s a lot about masks in the season - the monologuing from Rumi, plus the macguffins of the arc are three Oni masks: the Mask of Delusion, the Mask of Rage, and the Mask of Vengeance. The moment Rumi unmasks herself is also the moment she takes the Mask of Vengeance for herself, and if I had more brain power I would ABSOLUTELY analyze the FUCK out of that symbolism but I CANT RIGHT NOW AND AAAAAAAAAA

anyway lmao

Another thing I really liked was that Lloyd pointed out that she had a support network available to her, if she wanted it - doubtless the Emperor and Empress of ninjago could’ve gotten her therapy, she was in a stable environment, there were a NUMBER of people who loved and wanted to help her, but she CHOSE to stay rooted in her pain and trauma. She still deserved help!! But her ACTIONS were the problem, because she CHOSE those willingly, and the narrative points that out.

Regardless, she brings Garmadon back and he’s evil and heartless and they’re a perfect pair, honestly, he adopts her in a fashion during s9 and honestly it’s kinda sweet. I CRAVE fics where she lived and disappeared with her gf and Garmadon after s10 and they kinda fuck off for a bit, healing and becoming a Family (that does crime together on the weekend but shhhh) until Lloyd and the other ninja find them and go “oh hey ur our family too now, deal with it 😎”. UN FUCKING FORTUNATELY, she died and I’m high key mad about it!!!! Picture this: Lloyd and Garmadon are having another city-destroying fight, and Rumi goes “fuck this shit I’m OUT” and dips. She’s going through a building and comes across a family going through the exact same situation that resulted in her parents dying and her path to vengeance. She opts to save that family, and she gets a fucking BUILDING collapsed on her in thanks!!!! BRO OKAY LIKE I GET THE SYMBOLISM THEY WERE GOING FOR, BREAK THE CYCLE AND END VENGEANCE OR WHATEVER, BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL IF SHE HAD SAVED THE PARENTS, THAT LITTLE GIRL, AND HERSELF IN THE PROCESS!!!! SHE GETS THEM OUT, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE DIED, TURNS UP AT THE END OF THE SEASON AND GOES TO THERAPY, SURVIVES S10 AND THEN FUCKS OFF WITH GARMADON TO REMEMBER HOW TO BE A FAMILY!!!!! IM GOING FERAL THINKING ABOUT WHAT RUMI COULDVE BEEN BRO!!!! SHE WAS ALREADY SO GOOD AND THEN THEY JUST!!! DROPPED HER!!!!!!!!!! AND I DONT THINK IM EVER GONNA NOT BE MAD ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EVIL DAUGHTER DESERVED BETTER AND I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ESPECIALLY since just about every season after she dies, there’s SOME reference to how hurt Lloyd is that she’s gone, or how badly she fucked him up, and basically just dragging out that fake forced romance longer than it kinda should’ve been dragged out. Literally none of that matters!!!! Or, it does, but not NEARLY as much as Rumi’s squandered potential matters!!!! And honestly I just think it would’ve been a much better dynamic if Lloyd and Rumi had gone from “hey I thought we were dating but you tried to kill me” and “I hate your fucking guts and blame you for the deaths of my parents :)” to “siblings who irritate the CRAP out of each other but are low key ride-or-die”. Let them be SIBLINGS for fucks SAKE

Oh I didn’t really talk about her gf did I?? Well one of Rumi’s underlings is a punk biker named UltraViolet and like, none of it was TEXT, but Rumi and UltraViolet DEFINITELY had something going on. I choose to interpret it as evil lesbians because I think it’s what they deserve, but that’s just me lmao (and I’m right)

Ooh no WAIT, UltraViolet got yeeted to prison post-s9, and honestly if Rumi has lived I think she would’ve faced the same fate (still, she needs therapy at SOME point), so in my personal canon the first thing Garmadon does after fucking off post-s10 is he busts Rumi and UV out of jail and then they like. Idk. Travel or something. Discover the meaning of family. Go to therapy together (how many times can I say therapy in a single post??? Let’s Find Out). Fucking LIVE dude, I just want them to be HAPPY

[dogcopter]

character arc in unreverse

“Incomprehensible if you don’t think RQ is alive” Rose Quartz Steven Universe thoughts, a first pass. This is about a bunch of suspicious ghosts who are probably Rose, excluding Lion (see rose is lion 2020 tag for that)

I am certain to be missing some appearances and ideas still, but here’s some lore, assuming the Steven Universe writing process is (steven universe production voice) “every weird animal and dream is clearly just Rose. it will secretly be really funny every time and it will all pay off approximately 180 episodes into the series when we learn it was an intertwined Steven/Rose POV and character arc the whole time. we love lore.”

Rose’s Room Tiny Floating Whale appears when summoned, also asks Steven “what do you want”, has Rose’s voice even tho Steven hasn’t heard it yet. 

This episode is preceded by Beach Party, in which Steven convinces two bickering families to cooperate, and that episode is preceded by Lion 2, in which Lion goes to the movies with Steven and Connie and also makes them fight a killer robot.

Watermelon Steven This episode is preceded by Garnet’s Universe which telegraphs the endgame. Steven brings melons to life, including his best friend Baby Melon, who is briefly kidnapped by Onion. (Onion wants Baby Melon. Can Onion perceive Rose Quartz or other astral projectors? Is Onion an agent of Evil Cookie Cat?) He comes to life to escape Onion and winks at Steven when rejoining him. When the watermelons go to war and Steven wants the fighting to stop, Baby Melon sacrifices his life to stop the fighting by punching Steven. Baby Melon dies. RQ kill count +1

(Relevant Dogcopter lore: In Lion 2, Lion attends the Dogcopter 3 movie with Steven and Connie. In Dogcopter 3, Dogcopter beats an evil army of robots. Connie and Steven both love Dogcopter. )

Lion 3: Straight to Video After Lion tries and fails to get Steven into the mane the first time, Steven dreams of Dogcopter. Dogcopter says some hippie nonsense about art, including the ironic “Just be true to yourself, and people will appreciate your honesty.” Dogcopter then says “take a deep breath” before Steven wakes up in Lion’s mane. This ep is preceded by Watermelon Steven.

Open Book The room manifests a Tiny Floating Whale again for a highfive. Idk if the rest of the room shenanigans are the room as its own entity or at all related to Rose or Evil Cookie Cat Rose (I’m going to gloss over the Rose’s room episodes because there’s a lot of good meta out there and they probably need their own post just in general) but the room’s Connie does ultimately force Steven to be honest with his feelings instead of hiding them. 

This episode is preceded by Rose’s Scabbard, in which Steven learns a bit about Rose’s secrets and her relationship with Pearl.

Chille Tid Steven exhausts himself on the search for Malachite and the Gems try to make him rest. After a dream vision of Lapis, Steven tells Pearl about a dream he had involving Lion and puts them both to sleep. Dogcopter appears in his dream, but doesn’t talk to him. Dogcopter meows, and leads him in the direction of Lapis. This is the ep where Steven’s astral projection is explicitly revealed. This episode is preceded by “We Need to Talk”. 

(In Dogcopter 4, Dogcopter dies and comes back to life and it’s revealed that his parents are cats, so probably Rose has either seen another Dogcopter movie without Steven and Connie or she’s involved in Dogcopter’s production.)

Super Watermelon Island Steven wakes up in a watermelon body. Melon Dog busts out barking excitedly. She leads him to the sacrifice ritual and tricks him into volunteering his hijacked body for death, which reveals the location of Malachite. This episode is a season premiere and is preceded by Peridemption arc. RQ kill count +1

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service Steven needs a boost to escape the pizza monster in Kiki’s dream, and Dogcopter appears to pick him up and meows at him. This episode is preceded by Restaurant Wars, in which, among other important developments, Pearl wears her hottest outfit to date and Jane appears for the second time. The first time is in Lion 2 when she sells Connie, Steven, and Lion tickets to the Dogcopter 3 movie.

Steven’s Dream Steven wants to know about Pink Diamond so Rose shows him the Pink Diamond murder location. If it’s a memory like later dreams, it’s a relatively recent one and she is crying in it. This episode is preceded by Three Gems and a Baby in which we see the aftermath of Rose’s death on Greg and the Gems.

Storm in the Room Rose literally just shows up in person to tell Steven to chill the fuck out while he’s stress dreaming about her via the room. She doesn’t affirm his feelings though.

This episode is directly preceded by The New Crystal Gems, in which Lion is named but does not appear, and that episode is preceded by the Zoo arc.

Jungle Moon Stevonnie is stranded on the moon of an abandoned Diamond Authority colony and their ship is broken so they can’t contact Lars. They find a moon base which used to belong to Yellow Diamond. They have a dream of one of Pink Diamond’s childhood memories of trying to play with YD while she’s working, which reveals the passcode to YD’s console. They use that info to call Lars and gtfo. This episode is preceded by Lars of the Stars, in which Steven and Connie go to space via Lion.

Can’t Go Back After Steven and Lion go to the moon, while Lion is napping downstairs Steven is napping upstairs, and Steven has a dream about Pink Diamond trying to convince the other Diamonds to leave Earth alone. He also sees Pearl with her sword. 

Meta: This episode is preceded by “Letters to Lars”, in which Steven describes how the whole town has formed interpersonal bonds and everyone is doing way better without Bill Dewey in charge. Also in CGB, Lapis talks about running away in fear and being lonely while they observe the CGs from the moon. RQ vibes on both counts.

Together Alone Steven is sleeping in PD’s room. Opens with a dream in which Pink is playing with Volley in her room. Yellow Diamond interrupts and they play their roles. They behave like cheerful buddies, but then the dream becomes a nightmare as Volley is taken away and Steven starts stress heaving Rose’s hair and sees a vision of White. This episode is preceded by Familiar, in which Steven tries to talk to the Diamonds and learn about Pink.

Escapism Steven tries to call for help by APing out of prison, and is diverted to Mask Island where Melon Dog 2.0 tries to keep him distracted. She’s worried about him when he takes off. Lion picks him up on the open sea and carts him home to deliver his message before his tender perishable body ends. Steven kill count +1

Change Your Mind Steven wakes up in prison, then realizes he’s dreaming another memory of Pink’s in which Blue comes to berate and shame her in prison for bringing cute organic life home. Blue mentions that White will take away Pink’s Pearl if she doesn’t quit the mischief. Steven also sees a flashback of what happened at the ball, and the Diamonds doing the corruption attack. Steven is disturbed by a dream experience of cycling between appearances - Pink, Rose, Steven - and then wakes up.

Meta: The focus on her relationship with Volley and the loss of Volley in hindsight contributes to what we learn later in Volleyball; although they appeared close from Pink’s perspective in the older happy HW memories shown, we learn Pink’s explosive temper frightened Volley and even injured her and that a manifestation of the injury lingered with trauma. From Volley’s perspective Steven’s angry outburst is terrifying and she says that Pink couldn’t keep a secret – Pink changes her behavior to such an extent afterwards that our mom Pearl knows her as almost entirely the opposite in both regards. Lion has also changed from RQ’s super loving, inspiring speech giving persona to an aloof, silent cat.

Change Your Mind Finale During the final confrontation, Pink Steven disobeys White Diamond to her face to protect Steven, and doesn’t run away. Pink Steven confronts White Diamond on Steven’s behalf, exclaims SHE’S GONE!, and affirms Steven’s identity to both WD and Steven himself, embracing him with joyous laughter and love as his gem reenters his body. 

Future:

Rose Buds Rose straight up just returns (but we’re not ready to admit that yet) and uhhh I’ve already done like ten posts about this ep so let’s stop there

other suspicious Future characters post Rose Buds:

A Very Special Episode One of Onion’s dolls waves at RQ2 even though it wasn’t umbrellafied. Might just be Onion eldritch shenanigans.

Prickly Pair Cactus Steven tries to talk to Steven after Steven opens up to him but is limited by his vocabulary. He might be his own cactus.

Reflections: See Lion megaposts for the Lion arc, I might make another big fucking essay one day taking both these and Lion into account but today is not that day, but one common thread is that these psychic ghost characters go from exclusively taking their cues from Steven and Steven’s immediate desires/needs to going out of their way to teach him things about Rose, first without contradicting the secrets and her post-death narrative, but ultimately by actually showing him truth.

[xproskeith]

For those interested, this was the post I made:

“So, I really don't post much beyond personal stuff and pictures and I haven't really chimed in on masking and precautions for COVID-19 beyond a few comments on other people's posts. However, in light of the rising number of cases, the shutting down of businesses again, the statewide masking mandate, and the absurd amount of anti-mask nonsense I have seen lately, I feel I have an obligation as a nurse to make a statement.

It would seem that a lot of you don't understand what's actually going on, disease process and transmission, and how to analyze and interpret data (which in all fairness is something you have to learn to do and is rarely taught outside of science based degrees, so your ignorance isn't entirely unreasonable I suppose). As such, please allow me, someone with two bachelor of science degrees, who has assisted in conducting research in multiple fields including medicine relating to disease transmission, and who has been working the actual front line of this pandemic (and yes, we are absolutely in a pandemic. This is textbook definition) as an RN on the COVID-19 units to educate you and explain things.

First of all, there seems to be a completely incorrect belief that the flu is more deadly than COVID-19. Based on the most recent numbers as collected by the CDC, the COVID-19 survival rate in the US is roughly 95%, meaning 5% of all people who get the virus die from it and the complications it causes. The seasonal flu survival rate based on the current numbers from the CDC is roughly 99.99%, meaning only 0.01% of all people who get the flu die from it and complications that it causes That's not even remotely close. You have a much higher chance of surviving the flu.

The other major problem with just looking at the raw "survival" numbers is that it doesn't tell you about how fucked so many of the people who survive the virus are. Sure, they may survive, but their lungs are now mostly scar tissue thanks to the virus, not to mention the trauma from being on a vent for so long. As such, they often can't walk further than 5-8 feet without getting severely winded and fatigued. Many of these patients end up on dialysis because the virus destroyed their kidneys. Many have lost toes and/or fingers or had pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in the lungs) because the virus causes hypercoagulation of the blood and damages the endothelial cells that make up the inside of your blood vessels. This causes blood clots to form more easily inside the blood vessels, cutting off oxygen to the toes or fingers involved, ultimately killing the affected finger or toe. This is just what we have seen so far. We do not know the full extent of the lasting and permanent damages this virus will have on people

Which brings me to my next point. We do NOT have a true treatment plan for this virus. No current anti-virals are effective. Or at least not enough to be considered a real treatment. The use of typical/standard of care medicines to help with symptom management (such as ibuprofen for pain/fever and steroids to help with breathing) actually make things worse in the presence of this virus. So, we are learning as we go and doing our best to keep people alive.

There is a huge misconception that this virus does not hurt/kill/effect younger people. This is not true. We have had many teenagers, people in there 20s and 30s, who had no other health history prior to this die. We're seeing it more now thanks to people going to the beaches and bars in droves and doing these dumb "COVID parties". They're literally getting themselves killed and spreading it to others, both young and old.

Lastly, I will address wearing a mask. There is literal DECADES of research on masks and their ability to reduce the transmission of disease. That's why we use them in surgery and in the hospital in general. To prevent the spread of disease. We have been doing this long before COVID-19 and will continue to long after it's over. If that giant body of research is still not sufficient for you, you only need to look at the rest of the world where they issues masking mandates and their citizens listened. Those countries are largely reopen and not experiencing spikes like we are. That's because they're wearing masks and following recommendations. Funny how when you listen to the people who spent their entire educational career and actual career on these very topics and considered experts, things work out. It's almost like they know what they're talking about. Anyway, point is, we can see in real time how everyone wearing masks is stopping the spread and allowing these countries to reopen. Meanwhile, the US's cases continue to rise and we are forced to shut down again. Even Trump himself wore a mask. Everyone wants to complain about them shutting the economy down, but no one wants to be bothered to do something that takes ZERO effort to do so that we don't have to. The experts have told you what to do to reverse what is happening, but y'all won't listen. I mean, in some countries, they were a mask on a normal day just because they feel a little sick and don't want to get others sick. It's common courtesy.

And if you wanna argue that wearing a cloth or surgical mask makes it hard to breathe, you're wrong. There's research on this too. oxygen absorption and saturation in the blood is not impacted at all by wearing a mask, even for extended periods (y'know, like surgeons and the surgical staff do for upwards of 8 hours depending on the surgery). Any sensation or feeling that it's harder to breathe with a mask on is all in your head because you're not used to wearing a mask. Then, my favorite piece of evidence: if my fat ass can do chest compressions on a patient for 20 minutes while wearing a true N95 mask that's covered by a surgical mask, scrub cap, thick isolation gown, and eye shield and be just fine, you will be fine walking around the store and such in a simple surgical mask.

In conclusion, wearing a mask works. The research is there. The direct observation from other countries is there. There is a reason healthcare workers and epidemiologist (people who explicitly study and research diseases, disease transmission, and how to stop it) keep making these recommendations. There is literally no justifiable reason for you not to wear a mask.

One more thing worth noting is what has been the most taxing on the nurses and doctors and respiratory therapists. These patients, both young and old, deteriorate so fast. I have watched several patients who were seemingly stable and doing fine on maybe a little extra oxygen through a nasal cannula suddenly start to desat (oxygen levels in the blood dropped) and by the time we were in the room, they had already stopped breathing. During the peak of it here, we would have at least 2-3 Code Blues and another 3-6 Rapid Responses called throughout the hospital each night. And what was so shitty is that often times despite you doing everything you knew how to do and everything that those more experienced knew how to do, you could not save them. They still deteriorated. They still died. This shit is very real and very serious and y'all need to stop pretending it's not.”

All of this is based off of data and actual observation from the front lines. This is not opinion. Nothing I said is incorrect. I don’t understand.

[lilykong]

My heart and brain have been on complete overdrive these days. To document here for future me -

The atrocious murder of George Floyd by a white police officer set the world on fire. This, following the murders of Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery just weeks prior.

I definitely went through many phases of grief, thought, guilt, self-righteousness, indignation, hope. First, mourning the loss of yet more black lives. Second, rage at the intentionally broken system that surprises me that it surprises people. Third, a feeling of “where the F have you been this whole time?” toward a lot of people in my community (especially on social media). Fourth, wondering what it is about this time and this incident that has set a fire in people. Fifth, judging people posting about omelettes, baked goods, or honestly even baby photos, in between posts about antiracism or BLM. How, in anyone’s right mind, does that feel appropriate in this moment? Sixth, taking a hard look at my own self and acknowledging the fact that I am not immune from racist tendencies and biases. Seventh, educating and re-educating myself. Eighth, feeling hope and solidarity through marching in local protests and hearing the protests flow through our Downtown Brooklyn streets daily. Ninth, seeing actionable changes actually happening, reviving lost hope. Tenth, wondering why people have stopped wearing face masks. 

It’s been different permutations of these things on the daily, with my work productivity at an all-time low. 

After processing this week, I feel that there are a few truths that I’m sure of in this moment:

1. Reparations = absolutely, without a question, 100% necessary, warranted, and urgent. Why is this even a question? Sure it might be complicated and would need a lot of work to get organized, but just fucking do it. Sure it might make non-black people who believe life is a zero-sum game feel anxious and uneasy, where a “benefit” to one group is a detriment to themselves. Sorry, you’re going to have to sit with your feelings on your own for this one. 

2. After police brutality, we need to move on to: economic, housing, food, criminal, health, education, mental health, etc, justice for black lives. So yeah, there’s a ton of work to do. 

3. White supremacy is alive and well. In every single nook and cranny of our society, psyches, lives, laws, justice systems, culture, etc. It’s really hard to undo, but hard to unsee once we’ve opened our eyes. 

4. I still am so underdeveloped as an ally, but it isn’t about trying to become the perfect ally. Even that is too self-focused. Start by listening and learning, and then go inward. Don’t mistake for a second that the fact that I work as a public interest attorney in predominantly black communities is enough. The power dynamic between attorney and client is not indicative of my place in the world or as an ally. Black people do not need me to help them. But they do need the basic fucking right to exist in peace.

5. I need to stop judging others, because it is the most self-righteous and counter-productive thing in the world. I’ve been harboring so much resentment toward (east) Asian-American communities. Unknowingly and knowingly white adjacent, complacent and complicit, politically apathetic and insular. This is a horrible generalization, I know and acknowledge, but it’s just how I have been feeling for a long, long time. In public interest spheres, I have often been the only Asian-American present. But this does not give me the right to judge others. I need to learn more about our own community trauma and have more grace. 

6. Christians need to step up. 

7. BLACK LIVES MATTER.