#starkid vet

[venomousray]

Finally posting this after forever but here’s my Joey richter full body lineup I’ve had for a while that I use mainly for colour references as lighting in photos is my worst enemy. + the random ass vet character Joey played in daddy with like 2 lines that I randomly gave lore to who I couldn’t fit onto the image. There is a Ted image too but until I master drawing his hair I will not be posting it. Only posting these now as I’m redrawing them with some actual posing gradually. (Though I’ve only finished cineplex teen, thrash and malone so far)

[irregularbillcipher]

true starkid veterans remember when the channel was still called "StarKidPotter"

[cybrthrillz]

HOW YOU CAN HELP PROVIDE AID FOR PALESTINE

VETTED FUNDRAISER MASTERPOSTS (1) (2) (3)

COMMISSIONS CLOSED

---

EXPLAINING THE CYBRTHRILLZ CONTROVERSY

cred: @regretevatorstamps, @catcrumb, unknown, lesbian herstory archives, unknown, unknown

MY EPIC STRAWPAGE

hello! i'm cybrthrillz! i have too many names so please call me whatever you'd like! she/they/he pronouns please.

i'm a muslim transfem lesbian, based in indonesia. i am number one wallter fan and retrowall ceo. i also am the muslim hijabi wallter headcanon haver. local lover of literally every wallter ship ever. (none of these titles are actually serious nor am i claiming that i created/started any of these lol)

right now, i love drawing regretevator, but other interests i have are the royale high guards, roblox doors, doodle world, jason voorhees, minecraft (mcyt, parkour civilization, minecraft mobs, mc jams), spongebob squarepants, saw, starkid (nerdy prudes must die, the guy who didn't like musicals, black friday, nightmare time), sneegsnag, the human centipede, tusk (2014), happy tree friends, cult of the lamb, team fortress 2, mob psycho 100, spooky month, subway midnight and dexter's laboratory.

⬆️ my oc, R4V3, who i use as my persona!

while this account is viewable by everyone, PLEASE keep in mind that this account contains suggestive art and content (i will never post explicit sexual art here, however, as i am not an adult). be responsible. i'm not your parental guidance nor am i at fault for what you may see.

i am currently running two ask blogs: @wallterwall (wallter) and @meowdoctor! (drretro) i also have a 17+ side blog @walltersbignaturals!

tumblr, refsheet, twitter, instagram and tiktok are the ONLY platforms i post on. my username is ALWAYS cybrthrillz. if you see someone impersonating me please inform me.

you can repost, edit, trace, use my art as long as its not for financial gain and you dont remove my watermark. idc if you credit me so long as my watermark is visible in the drawing but it would be nice!

tags i use:

💾 #not sfw - my catchall tag for anything you wouldnt want your boss or your mom to see. nsfw ≠ pornography

💾 #notsafeforyeucc - my nsfw regretevator stuff

💾 #cybrartz - my art

💾 #cybrcommz - finished commissions i've done

💾 #cybrtalkz - my ramblings/text posts/memes

💾 #cybrreblogz - my reblogs

💾 #cybraskz - my answers to any asks i receive

💾 #cybrjoyz - things that make me happy

💾 #cybrdubz - comic dubs talented people make of my art

💾 #cybrdescz - my image descriptions

[starkidmack]

Niche post but Tom Houston from Team Starkid’s Black Friday is the same character as 911’s Eddie Diaz and you can’t change my mind.

Like… an army vet with a lifetime of PTSD, a kid he’d do anything for, and a dead wife he can’t let go of - and he blames himself for her death. And! Tom has Becky and Eddie has Buck!

[gone-to-oregone]

Now that I’ve finished my Hatchetfield Lore doc, I need to get back to my Starkid introduction doc (your one-stop place for everything Starkid from new Starkid fans to seasoned vets) 🤔

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

There's someone in the starkid Fandom who just makes me so angry. Maybe it's because I've had shitty experiences with Fandom vets who act like being around a long time automatically makes them better and smarter than newbies, but they just make me so angry.

Every time I see them reblog or comment on something, whether it's mine or someone else's, they just come off as such a jackass. Maybe they should try tone tags or smth and that'll help idk. It's gotten to the point where seeing their username in my notifs makes me want to cry.

Not tagging bc I don't want to be rude. But it's just so sickening.

~~~

[geodetojoy]

21, 9, and 30 from the big ask post pretty please :))

love ya lux!!

HI MADS!!!!! Thx for the ask :DDDD

9- my birthday is October 29th!

21- my day was pretty eh tbh, we took the dogs to the vet for shots really early and I didn’t get a ton of sleep before hand but I got to nap for a while after! And we got pizza for dinner which was nice :) but I’ve been really bored and I have a headache so some good some bad haha

30- ooo I’m looking forward to a few things! I should be switching jobs sometime soon which I’m exited for bc my current job situation is absolute hell so I can’t wait to get out of here lmaoo and a digital ticket for a new musical is releasing in a week or two and I can’t wait to see it!!! (Not quite the same people who made spies but a sister company with some of the same people and more, Starkid!!)

LOVE YOU TOO MADS!!! And I’m gonna do the ask game for you too so look forward to that hehe

[judeharoldvich]

petition to call The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals ‘Paul’ colloquially because im not abt to remember the acronym

[popculturebuffet]

Hatchetfield Retrospective Part 2: Black Friday

Ahoy there boys and girls (and others). All aboard the SS Wiggle and set sail for giggles as my Hatchetfield retrospective rolls on just after the crimbule on your Turkey Day that requires a bottle of Pepper Spray, it's time for Black Friday!

For those friendywends just joining us, I covered The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals. If your new to starkid, I covered the troupes extensive history there along with most of the actors involved, which thankfully means with the ground work laid out I can jump right into this one.

And that was kind of the feeling here. As I covered last time the Guy Who Didn't LIke Musicals was the third idea the Lang Brothers had for this, and was chosen because it was more accesible. With Hatchetfield set up and just enough in place, Black Friday does what most horror sequels (or in this case spirtual sequels), do and kicking it up a notch: there's a much larger cast of characters, a global scope that comes about at the end of act 1, the introduction of one of the settings big bads, everything is bigger, badder and brutaler. So the question is did it pay off? Well come with me under the cut and find out. But hurry, suplies are limited.

Crawl and Brawl for A Doll

As with last time a bit of a refesher before we dive into the analysis: Black Friday follows the citzens of Hatchefield on the titular friday as a good chunk of them gather at Lakeside Mall to get their hands on the hottest toy of the season: Tickle Me Wiggly. Like Chucky you can tell just by looking at this guy…

That something is VERY wrong. The fact he usually appears surronded by an eerie green glow of stage lights dosen't help. But rather than running away from the thing as any sane person would, the adults of hatchefield are running toward it. And the Musical does expertly handwave the obvious problem of online retailers: Their already sold out so if anyone in our tiny town wants one, they gotta get in line.

IT's here we get to one of the things that sets this musical apart from TGWDLM: The previous show was pretty much Lazer focused on Paul with emma coming second, with every main cast member barring hidgens having some connection to paul. Even Emma, the plays deutratgonist, was still partly defined by being pauls love intrest.

In contrast, Black Friday is more of an ensemble, focusing on the various people at Lakeside Mall, and switching between groups with characters intersecting as the plot demands before most of them come back together for the finale, and that' snot even getting into the largely disconnected PEIP subplot. We meet our first Tom Houston via our previous protaganists Paul and Emma, a nice way to both set up the multiverse nature of things and connect back to the prevoius musical. Tom is played by Starkid Legend Dylan Saunders, who started as Dumbledoore and was a stalwart of Starkid up until twisted. Getting his SAG card meant he couldn't work with them for a while, and thus left the troupe. Thankfully this marked his grand return and he's been back ever since, even playing Ebeneezer Scrooge in A VHS Christmas Carol.

Tom is the husband of Emma's sister Jane, a nice bit of setup from last time, and naturally isn't doing well, being pantsless mid day, having left his job due to his PTSD both from his time as a vet and the car crash, and slowly drifting from his son Tim, not helped by him faking needing a drill press when he's really getting a wiggly. Emma is pissed but once she finds out why he needs her, she forgives him.

Tom has his work cut out for him though as the line is massive and if that weren't enough also features his Ex, Becky Barnes, played by Kim Whalen. Kim's a fresh addition to StarKid, but has been acting for some time and is the wife of Curt Mega, a close friend of star kid and part of their sister troop TinCan Bros, most famously headlniing spies are forever, a show I both need to see and cannot stop listenting to the soundtrack to. We'll be seeing him too as both joined up and both are invaluable additons to the team.

Becky is a kind, patient nurse who just wants to get a doll for the kids… and who is gossiped about by the town both because her and Tom were the big couple on campus.. and because she ended up in an abusive marriage that no one bothered to try helping her out of until stan just disappeared one day. Rubbing this in is Linda Monroe, every karen in the world baked into one insufferable but gloriously hammy person, the bitch of bitches who wants a wiggly for her kids and is constantly on the phone with her husband Gerald, who apparently can't be within 10 feet of a cinabon, which turned what was suppposed to be a cruel dig at his weight.. into everyone in the fandom to this day just asuming, probably correctingly, that Gerald once fucked a cinnamon roll. I mean they haven't proved he didn't.

Off to the side we have Lex Foster, a high school dropout with an abusive mother whose hoping to escape to california. Lex is played by yet another new face, Angela Giratnia, a great addition who plays Lex excelently. Mariah Rose Faith was supposed to play the roll.. but instead went to do Mean Girls. Ironically though the two have become very close friends, shooting the video for Yellow Jacket from Nightmare Time together and even more ironically, will be starring in the next full on musical, Nerdy Prudes Must Die, together as the leads.

Lex plans to sell a doll on the black market thanks to her Boyfriend Ethan, a nice dude in a leather jacket who despite being a punk is not low down nor cheap. Hannah however is less than receptive having stephen king style doom prophicies of death today and while Ethan calms her down with the power of grey skull, it's clear given we're in a horror property she's right and our heroes are in for some shit.

And shit does indeed hit the fan thanks to two people once their doors are open to you: The first is Frank Pricely. Frank is easily one of the best parts of the musical, with Corrrey Dorris absolutely devouring the scenery and having some truly great comedic moments..

Frank makes Flintheart Glomgold look both reserved and morally upstanding, and his greed ends up being a problem when our second domino tips him over: Sherman Young, a creepy toy collector who outright admits he's going to fuck at least two of the dolls and wants to buy them all. Linda has to sue to get frank to back off with her attonrey gary goldstien.. only for that to fall apart since he's also sherman's attorney> A man in a hurry plunges the final nail into the coffin by offering money, a bidding war starts and CHAOS REIGNS as everyone but Frank and Lex plunge into a full on retail riot, in song of course, and it quickly becomes apparent that while part of this is just human greed and bloodlust, the doll does something to people as it quickly escalates from simple riot to full blown cult.

Helping this escalation is Uncle WIley, the creator of Tickle Me Wiggly.. who naturally given this is a child's play and stephen king style horror show, turns out to ALSO be a delviery man played by the same actor, as well as a Randall Flag style corrupter, seducing Linda into leading a cult for Wiggly and finding the last dolls in the store.. one of which Lex smuggled into Hannah's backpack.

Things quickly go to shit for our heroes: Ian , after a really touching moment showing what a good guy he is.. gets curbstomped to death by the raving shoppers, wtih Hannah barely escaping, and Tom and Becky find his corpse… and Tom gets stabbed right after. And if that wasn't enough main character murder for you Frank goes soon after while Lex is held prisoner.

So naturally while all this drama nd tension is going on we cut to Washington DC

Yeah this is the subplot I mentoined; turns out riots like this are happening nation wide and the President, played by Curt Mega, is trying to solve it… only for him to succumb to wiggly too. Thankfully John Macnamara returns, shooting the doll and coming in to fetch President Goodman while belting out a badass underated song.

So our party splits into a few diffrent groups for a bit: Tom and Becky reunite while watching Santa Claus Goes to High School, and trust me we will unpack that one in a moment, and reveal their baggage, tom talking about how hard thigns have been … and Becky revealing she KILLED Stanley, as he refused to let her go to Jane's funeral, she tried going anyway, and the resulting confrontation lead to his death.

Hannah meanwhile is in a bad place as Wiggly himself harasses her, first posing as Ethan in a truly unerving scene with some excellent and horrifying acting form Robert Manion.. before speaking to Hannah herself and despite the doll not being able to move like Chucky, I applaud Jon Mattenson for being every bit as terrifying in his own way. Excellent job dude.

So we go back to the Washington Cul De Sac and get a bunch of exposition: Wiggly is an outer god from the place known as the black and white. Their plan amounts to tellign Wiggly

I wish I was kidding: They whnat goodman to come ot bargin with him. The thing is unlike say one Stephen Strange.. their just assumign the authority of ONE head of a country is enough to make an Elder God who clearly intricatley planned out his apocalypse go away.

SHOCKINGLY this goes bad immeditely: Wiggly instead mocks goodman, refuses to help and we get a truly haunting and AMAZING shot: naturally given when this play takes place, the set was decked with garland and two stage lights… which turn INTO wiggly, revealing he was there the whole time. The fact they pulled off the phsyical form of an elder god in a fucking stage show and did so in a way that had it there the whole time without making it obvious is fucking incredible.

Wiley lays out that it was mankinds own need to fill the voids in their soul with stuff that made their plan so easy and Goodman almost dies only for Macnamary to sacrife himself to the black and white to save him and urges the president to nuke him. NATURALLY this also goes bad and the nuke gets instead sent to BOMB THE RUSSIANS

World War III were declared. John does help one last time though: As sherman tries to murder lex, he appears to her awakening her own psychic powers and allowing her to get a gun

And just in time too as tom and becky found hannah and went on full posseison mode, tom running off with the doll while the other two were taken by the cult. So it's up to Lex to wake Tom from the possesion and go save her sister before it's too late.

How she does it reveals an EXTREMLEY clever twist: as Lex points out… none of the kids actually want the doll. The fact it's out of date and dosen't seem like something a kid would want.. is the point. It was all marketing and elder god brainwashing. Tim never ACTUALLY asked for it and it simply prayed on Tom and other's need to fill the void inside. Tom breaks free.

The two confront Linda, and almost loose as she gets the doll.. only for Becky to get the gun and Linda to be too busy mocking Becky and assuming she wouldn't get shot… to try and duck. Linda dies..

The rest of the cultists burn as Lex burns the mall, and our heroes meet up with Paul and Emma and sing one last song and the day, and possibly the world.. ends with an ominous noise and a smash to black. What happened?

Big Fat Buts

As I said before the summary, Black Friday feels like a lot of horror sequels or followups, a clear escalation that tries to be bigger than what came before: With the All-New All Diffrent team starkid having proven themselves by defeating an island that walks like a man.. er putting on a musical about a guy who dosen't quite care for them, it's clear Nick Lang had a lot of confidence both in his team and in hatchetfield. He knew he had fans and thus he could go as big as he wanted and even if it didn't quite land, there would still likely be fans left.

As such the cast is an ensemble, our heroes troubles are even darker with our abuse victimt his go round having to KILL her husband just to escape, a ptsd laden war vet in the darkest remake of jingle all the way ever and a teenager who genuinely thinks she's worth nothing and sings a song as she's choked out. TGDLM went dark but Black Friday goes pitch black

IT's not to say we don't have our usual starkid hilarity: from the whole drillpress argument ("How would it fit in the sedan?" killed me JUST as much the second time around) to the glorious ham of Gary Goldstien, to Lauren just.. devouring the scneery as linda, who alternates between horrifyingly awful to hilariously awful with expert timing. The show dosen't lack humor.. but it's less frequent and thus there's less refuge from the pretty bleak subject matter. While both musicals go darker in their second half, after the santa claus goes to high school bit, act 2 of Black Friday just has a bleak tone, with our heroes barely winning.. and even then it being implied nothing good came of it. The ending is not a rousing if dark number decnsturctoing final acts.. but a very chilling song asking if tommorow will come and hoping it'll be better.

And I.. like it. I'm fine with The Lang Bros having the tones be whatever fits the worth with the Hatchetfield Series. It set in a bit more with Nightmare Time, but it's fine for horror to have a range, to shake things up. It's why John Carpenter is so immortal in the genre and why Jordan Peele is his clear succesor: both have a knack for cranking out masterpieces.. while also not being afraid to experiment or throw something new in wether it works or not and i'm glad the Langs are willing to take risks. It paid off in this regard, as the darker tone fits the story better: TGWDLM had such a silly premise that while ti got far darker than expected, you had to camp it up. While this likewise has a rediculous premise it's grounded enough in our own flaws, that it needs a bit more grounded characters and tone to really sell the horror and cosmic dread, really making our heroes feel outmatched by the elder god their basically playing a game of keep away with.

Another big change.. is that this works message is far less subtle. TGWDLM had a subtle message about the dangers of escapism, using the hive as a metaphor for people ignoring the world's shittyness by whatever coping mechanism they have. It's a fairly well done metaphor ,even if I forgot to tackle it last time. We all turn to something. And it gave no easy answers.

Black Friday.. is about as subtle as a bunch of kicks to a pooor innocent teens head. It's VERY upfront about how people use consuramism as a way to escape their issues, how the goverment has failed us so badly that people turn to stuff to fill the void, that we buy more and more things to help escape how awful the world is. Uncle Wiley spells it out in his speech and the ensuing song after said speech just in case anyone missed it. I can't deny it's just a tad overbearing, even having the President repeadtely go "i'm a status quo democrat" which is funny.. but kinda wears out over time. The musical could only be less subtle about those parts of it's message if the lyrics to made in america were just "THE GOVERMENT TOTALLY SUCKS YOU MOTHERFUCKER'.

That said, while this musical lacks subtley the message.. isn't a bad one and is one worth exploring. While it's not the first horror work to explore consumrisim by a long mile (Child's Play, They Live and the Stuff were all way ahead of it), it does so in a way that really does hit me, by tackling shopping and getting more things to try and cope. I've done that quite a bit. It's easy to fall into the trap of buying shit just to get that small rush you get from getting a thing. I've grappled with shopping addictiona dn I still haven't fully tamed it

The fact of the matter is the system is broken. You can se eit for yoruself most sundays are on "British Man Explains why the System is broken on a slowly collapsing platform with John Oliver". Most people lack the power to change it and ther'es only so much protest and speech can do. It's easy to drown yourself in whatever you can to make the constant pain of how fucked we are stop. To just say "hey this thing will help me not feel bad and tha'ts not bad". And while ti's fine in small doses it's a powerful drug and one that can be abused easy. It's why fuckers like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk have power and why despite hating a lot of disneys practices I struggle to break away: as Uncle Wiley says "your thirst for stuff.. is never slaked". The message isn't subtle.. but in a time when women have had their rights yanked from them, the threat of facisim via trumpisim still looms and coprations keep getting away with shit while we impotently yell for them to stop and we just keep buying more and more crap to help cope… it's one we needed. And the end message as shown by Lex saving Tom with memoreis of his son, that it's people not things that can help us get through is a powerful one.. and that even if tommorow may not come… it might and break the dawn. The message is fine… it just didn't need to be delievered with a kick to the head is all.

Another mixed bag is the scope. The incrreased number of main characters isn't terrible: Lex and Hannah are great and Becky and Tom are passable, we'll get to that more in the character breakdown, and we get a lot of great side characters like the rise of Man in a Hurry, Gary Goldstien and Sherman Young. So it ballances out a tad. The increased cast size helps sell the packedness of the mall as much as you can with a moderate sized troupe and the size of Linda's cult.

The issue isn't at the mall.. but beyond it. I'm probably not breaking any hearts saying the PEIP subplot feels tacked on. A large part of this is part of what makes this new franchise special… is Hatchetfield itself. Each new work expands on another part of the island and adds more locations to revisit. It's very clear, especially from Nightmare Time, that the Langs put a LOT of work into making Hatchefield feel like a real town with clear locations like Pizza Petes and the Lakeside Mall and landmarks like the Witchwood. So leaving that for Washington DC feels a bit jarring.

And look i'm glad to have McNamara back, i'm always for more jeff and he's great as always and the SONGS in this subplot are amazing and we'll get to them shortly. But the actually plot of it is…

Yeah the plan makes NO sense and make MacNamara, a trained vetran of dealing with weird shit who clearly knows the lords in black decently well and can take down their servitors with his knife of truth thinking one world leader whose not all that imposing, charasmatic or intresting coudl talk down wiggly seems a stretch. "He's never had a phsyical form so maybe he'll know fear" makes no sense.. especiallys ince while it's not a body the dolls GIVE HIM A PRESENCE ON THIS PLAIN. The fact your not going yourself to use the knife of truth on his physical form and you don't even try John shows you know Wiggly's mostly invicible. Don't get me wrong the idea of simply barganing with a god instead of fighting them is cool, it's why the climax of Dr. Strange is one of it's best parts. But Stephen had an infinite time loop of his own deaths to pull that shit off. All John has is a status quo democrat. It would've worked better if John himself went or went with the president. Again the subplot has some good stuff, the whole meltdown with the presidents cabinet is great, but it takes away from the core of things and pads out the runtime for something that ultimately dosen't really pay off. It's like the Canto Blight bit of Last Jedi: it's neat to look at and I can't say it has no merit whatsover, but I also can't say you coudln't of rewritten it to feel more integral to the story.

It just contributes to the musical being strentched a bit thin: with no real main focus character to zero in on the musical just kind of ambles on. It doesn't do so badly, but without zeroing in on lex or tom or hannah or anyone, it feels the most aimless of the hatchefield works i've seen thus far. Black Friday isn't bad but it coudl've been far better and it seems from Nightmare Time and Nerdy Prudes smaller focuses and clearer main character selections, sticking to one or two a story, that the Langs learned this lesson well. Wiggly Jingles

The songs for Black Friday are their greatest strength. While the performances are mildly strained as the performers aren't in their best shape, the songs still slap both on stage and soundtrack and i'll stand by that. Jeff took his already great satrical work from his previous two musicals and, now able ot use a regular musical format again, let loose. This musical may be a mixed bag but it's soundtrack.. really isn't and Nightmare Time and the Nerdy Prudes Demos show he's only getting better with each show. Jeff is the heart and soul of hatchefield and this soundtrack cemented that

First up we have the Nibbly Ditty, a fun catchy jingle with some nice belting and some nice foreshadowing for the nature of the dolls "he's all that you wanted, he's all that you needed" indeed. Having seen my share of children's stage shows, Jeff and co nailed the sound of one beautifully while melding it perfectly with a commerical. Angela trying to just.. straight up eat Wiggly after just adds to it.

Then we get What Tim Wants which is one of the weaker tracks.. yet it also shows just how good the soundtrack is that it's still an utterly soulcrushing heartfelt ballad from Dylan. He came back guns a blazing with this one, with the flash bang parts especially killing me. It's only real weakness is whle the soundtrack has a nice variety and style its own elsewhere this feels like a very stock musical theater number, which works for what it is, it just dosen't stand out nearly as much. It does sum up Tom VERY well thougH: a man desperatley trying to fix things with his kids but his trauma and desperation to get back what he head instead of fixing what he has are holding him back.

Case in point to What Tim Wants not standing back, we next get an Avril Lavengin style rock anthem, California MIA. Angela comes in hot with her first number, and I feel her rougher vocals fit lex like a glove, with this fun pop punk number that perfectly sums up both Lex's edge, and desperation to escape in a cool rebellion number.

What Do You Say is one of my faviorites, and really helps show off new member James Tolbert, the longtime coreographer for the group turned actor this time around, who gets some fun bits as scarf guy. It's a hlariously catty and well done song as everyone gossips, everyone in the troupe gets a fun bit, and the line coreogrpahey is fucking amazing. That must've been a bitch to pull off but my god they did it well. And I don't mean in delivery I mean the entire dance is coregraphed while still having the people wait in line mostly. It's incredible. It also has the immortal bit of MIAH holding up his camera, creepily smerking and saying "Just skip to the fucking". God bless you Jeff

We then get what is easily my faviorte number: Our Doors Are Open. This made me fall in love with Corey because holy shit does he own this one. I still hear this one in my head on occasoin, to the point I even ordered Creme Brule on my turkey day. I did not require a bottle of pepper spray thankfully. EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. is quotable and perfectly satiresing the comercialsim of Black Friday gloriously. As also proven by "Pays to Be an Animal" before this and "Axeman" after, Correy really makes a meal out of it any time he gets a number, and this is his greatest feast.

It's hilarious, biting and has a grew du wop sound

That said Jeff didn't rest because we get another bit that really sums up the holiday well right after… and it's far less glossy side, the side where people fight or trample: Feast or Famine, a great number showing off the greed, madness and violence of the "holiday", perfectly summed up with the chorus of "Take what you want, return what you get". Highlights include Corey's drunk sounding response to the riot and Jeff's glorious CHAOS REIGGGNNNNSSSS.

We end act 1 with Monsters and Men. And having watched a few videos ranking either this musicals songs or Starkid soundtracks in general, I gotta say this one is HIGHLY underated. A lot of people seem to hate this one because it's in that stupid PEIP subplot, but it's a really good rousing song about standing up against great evil. Jeff really sells the hell out of it, and it really gives one hope before Act 2 cruelly yanks it all away. It likely only ranks so low because there's so much else good, but it's still one of my faviorites.

We open act 2 with a hilaroiusly jarring break from everything. See this was supposed to just be dialouge on the screen.. but the whole insane concept of Santa Claus Goes to High School was too fun and it's clear after all this time the Langs STILL love High School Musical, so doing a Disney Channel style number as well as a parody of those sort of movies for tweens was too tempting. And i'm glad we did as we got the holiday classic deck the halls of northville high. It's an energetic number that deserves it's own mini musical, hilarious, over the top, and greatly belted by Robert. The escalting insanity from the elves to "mr humbuger" just adds to it. It's so perfectly Disney Channel. Seriously make this a movie and have Calum Worthy in it despite being about 30 at this point. Do it. Do it now. if you've seen reboot you'l know why.

For those of you wondering what Santa Claus Goes to High School is it's exactly that: Santa becomes a teenager to get down with the kids, makes out with a teen.. it's pretty nuts.

Spekaing of santnta making out with a teen we get the excellent Take Me Back next, as Kim Whalen really gets to show off her pipes, and Dylan gets to show back. A nice sorrowful number about what could've been and what still might be as two old loves firmly reconnect. The interlude from Santa Claus Goes to High School and Jamies delivery of santa before she jumps robert.. fucking amazing.

We then get our first in a string of awesome villian songs and it's Lauren's turn to shine as she gets what seems to be her first full on Villian Song in the Starkid Catalogue and it was about damn time as holy shit does she nail it. Linda gets to show off her incredible ego as she demands your love and worship too… or she will end you. An all timer of a villian song, helped of course by "unless I get what I shit".

Next is "Do You Want To Play?". I admit it's not the most musically ambitious or clever of these.. but that's the point. It's simply a very creepy song sung by a wiggy possed Becky and Tom as they hunt poor Hannah. It's just supposed to be lightly enchanting and DEEPLY unsettling. It's easily one of the creepiest parts of the play.

Capping off this trilogy is Made In America. This is one that's grown on me at times as this is where things are at their most

But over time i've come to figure it's a REALLY good song, with Wiley mocking humanity for making it SO easy for them. Honestly though it wouldn't work half as well without one man. Joey Fucking Richter. While this isn't HIS first villian song and Wagon On Fire is amazing and showed he could pull this off, it shows he shoudl've been given more because hot damn this one is good. It's his vocals that really bring it to life and make me love this one. There's really not a bad one among this soundtrack.

And then.. we get our title track, which is a VERY close second for my faviorite. Honestly it's hard to tell if I like this or doors are open better in part because their so very diffrent; Doors are Open is a goofy, brutal satire of Black Friday itself.. while Black Friday is a very dark rock solo about Lex comtemplating her life and how much she feels it's a waste, her relationship with hannah, and her oncoming death. It's throughly tragic, watching this teenager think so little of herself as she slowly fades away, and pointing out just how much hope Hannah gave her .. and how she'll have to be fine without her because "I'm leaving". It just.. destroys me every time and I let it EVERY TIME. Angela got to show off nicely with CalfiorniaMIA but this made me marvel at how amazing a singer she is. Goddamn.

The Monsters and Men Reprise is decent. Not much else to say, it's just a nice short song of hope after Lex hit her rock bottom.

If I Fail You is.. fine. It's another very typical ballad. And look being standard is fine, there have been some really great broadway numbers and will be. it's just that other ones like "Take Me Back' and "Monsters and Men on this same album are SO much better and so much more resonant. This is just kinda there and to me is the weakest of the tracks. While I feel Monsters and Men gets

Thankfully we cap off Linda before Becky caps her with "Wiggle" right after. Another amazing villian song this one darker and more cultish to show just how CLOSE she is to winning. Is it entirley necessary? Probably not. Would I cut it

This song is another great showcase for Lauren and a banger of a villian song.

Then of course we have our finale, a truly awesome and haunting some from Kendall Nicole, a child actress whose a student of Kurts.. who fucking nails it as Hannah. It's a shame she coudln't come back for BLack friday 2 but she was awesome while we had her as this is a nicely haunting song that fits the darker town and bleakness of the ending: we wont' know if our heroes survivie or not… we just have to have hope. Did tommorow turn the night off? With a song this beautiful and hautning it dosen't matter. Shoppy Shop People

So finishing things we have our group of surviviors trapped in a mall, our cultists and of course our characters stranded ove rin subplot land to break down.

Starting off we have who I consider to be the best of the main cast, Lex Foster. The musical REALLY coudl've been served better focusing on her as the center, with Hannah or Tom serving as a secondary ala Emma, as she's easily the most engaging of the main cast. Lex easily could've been an edgy snarky teen sterotype as many teen dramas tend to have.. but instead is a character who while snarky and prone to doing crimes.. is throughly sympathetic and realistic. She's not jaded because she won't be a part of your system man, she's jaded because everything has failed her: her mother is implied here and confirmed in later works to be abusive, the school barely tried to help her , and the one teacher she DID like left and you can see both sides when she lashes out at Tom: Tom is coming to her for a favor after essnetially abandoning her.. but he had his own trauma to deal with he hasn't. You can't blame Lex for feeling abandoned but you can't blame tom for doing it when he was in no shape to help anyone most of all himself. It's just a tragedy of time, crucmstances and a system that dosen't give a damn about the kids it teaches some of the time. The teachers care and can try, but they can only do so much. It's no wonder Lex's plan is a desperate, shaky gamble, and one that may not even work if Pam bothers to call the police.

Yet despite the lashing out she genuinely loves her sister. Hannah is not just a tool to make lex feel better: Lex does muse "did I need her more than she needed me".. but her plan to run away would have NO risks other than the usual of trying to flee to LA using sketchy doll money if she left Hannah behind. It shows that while Lex may doubt herself.. she's a genuinely great caretaker to her sister and the one major scene they have togehter shows it: she chastises Ethan for calling her crazy, tries to calm hannah's panic attack down gently without snapping at or judging her, and clearly is only trying to calm Hannah's worries about the mall because she sees them as regular anxiety and not that mixed with end of the world doom visions. She loves her sis and wants her to have the best. Usually that wouldnt' include a kidnapping and I wouldn't condone this sort of thing but again, and it's left ambitious here if it's really that bad.. but trust me it is. Sometimes a terrible solution with clear consequences is better than no solution.

Much like Paul her self hatred only becomes apparent via song: It's not until black friday we get a full sense of how much this poor young woman hates herself and feels her death. Black Friday the song is brilliant in just having it stripped away: she feels there was "nothing to subtract" that she did and acomplished nothing and wonders if she even shoudl've wanted. It's a powerful give in to despair that makes MacNamara unlocking her powres and saving her so damn cathartic. Lex finally gets agency in her life nad kicks it's ass and it's beautiful to see, saving Tom form himself and wiggly.

Tom himself.. is a mixed bag. The idea is a good, a down to earth man trying to grapple with ptsd and raising his son and loosing his wife. The problem is in execution, Tom is just whatever the plot needs him to be or focus on, either being stuck in Jingle All The Way 3: Wow This Series Got Dark, or focused on becky. He gets some beauitufl numbers from Dylan but no real shape or form. He's a bit bumbling and tha'ts all we really get. Tom could be more and to the langs credit he's ab it more of a character in his next starring role Jane's A Car.. .and he also got to full on fuck a car so that helped. I just wish he was here. Dylan feels wasted in the roll, only elevating it because he's that good.

Becky also suffers from feeling underwrittne. She's mostly just

For most of the procediings. She does get a few standout moments. Her face when Linda just straight up tells her everyone knew stan abused her and no one cared

Is devistating.. and Kim utterly sells the reveal that she killed stan and the whole monologue is sad and chilling. She's a tragic character, a woman who had her agency ripped from her by a monster, lost her chance with the preson she actually liked and even freedom has just left more people laughing at her and Becky likely terrified Stanely will find out again. There's a lot to her but again the musical just.. dosen't really focus on it outside of two scenes and her arc is just solved with.. shooting her arch enemy in the head

It dosen't help her problems along, it just… is really badass. Which is nice but it'd be nicer if there was some sort of closure beyond bang bitch went down

Hannah again suffers from the same problme as the others: not enough focus, being more of a plot device. Like all these characters Kendalls performance elevates it and the poor child goes through hell, and KNOWS something like it is coming but everyone's convinced it's her possible disablity and not her psychic powers that ecaservate a possible disablity. She does get the great scene dealing with Wiggly and thankfully Hannah gets two nightmare time stories in the center to make up for this btu once again it's a great description for a character.. that gets to do nothing because this musical has like 20 stories to get to.

That said while the musical underwites most of it's characters to it's detriment… there are exceptoins. For all the heroes potetial being squandered our villians are fucking fantastic. And starting off we have Linda Fucking Monroe. She starts out broad, hilariously catty.. then horribly cruel, mocking becky over her ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP and calling her WEAK for it.

What makes Linda work so well is that she's so evocative of the Karens we see all the time: the kind of asshole who asks to see a manager in the rudest way possible, will call the cops on a child with a sword because she dosen't like his skin, and will throw a hissy fit the second things go slightly wrong. We've all seen videos of Linda Monroes.. but at the core Linda shows wha thappens when your average asshole, if well connected and rich, is simply nudged in the wrong direction to being an absolute monster. The potetial was there, again this woman mocked someone for being an abuse victim.. but she dosen't quite seize it right away. It takes Uncle Wiley prodding her, pointing out the need to be loved and admired and her skill at manipulation to blossom her from cruel bitch to full on monster. It dosen't take a far push for someone to go from simply being a very, very cruel asshole to being capable of great evil.

It helps Lauren Lopez really hams it up. She's utterly horrifing when need be, wether it's when calling Becky weak or killing Frank, but she's also just hilariously over the top the rest of the time, but in a way that works: she's every entitled shithead roleld into one and Lauren just owns it. The fact she spends the whole play talking to her hsuband who waits out there for her for hours, and the payoff to that with Gary talking to gerald about the will is gold by the by just adds to it. Linda is both over the top but also compitent and ruthless. She knwos how to play the wigglyites, with the frenzy having helped.. but ont heir own they just woudl've been madened assholes, dangerous as seen with poor Ethan, but under her their an army, their her children.. and they almost win. She's not a super mastermind or anything, it stillt akes the lucky break of Lex coming right ot them for them to actually get the doll and had Lex not talked Tom down, the doll woudl've left the mall, but Linda still manages to turn a disorganized mob into a cult in a manner of hours with only a slight push and a promise of power. It's not a sign anyone can become bad with the right push.. tis' a sign a bad person can become life destroyingly awful with the right push and it is great.

Next is Uncle Wiley, aka MacNamara's friend Wilbur Cross, a former PEIP agent who upon meeting wigly was turned into his right hand, his mouth of sauron his number. one. guy. Since it takes some effort for Wiggly and his brothers to take form on earth, as we'll see as we get into nightmare time, he needed someone and for whatever reason Uncle Wiley took up the roll. Is he brainwashed? did Wiggly simply turn any evil in wilbur up? or was Wilbur Cross always just one push away from the dark side and Wiggly simply pushed him far enough. We still don't know and it's part of what akes WIley awesome: we don't know WHY he's like this, why he's so respected by an elder god that Wiggly fully trusts him with the plan and never talks down to Wiley or orders him around, treating him almost as an equal. It's clear whose in charge.. it's also clear Wiggly has so much faith in his frendy wend that he trust shim to carry out th eplan to the letter without going into his own agenda. To say his words for him before his big reval in the black and white. To trust his servants the sniggles to him as minons. Wiley is just as much a threat as his boss without nearly as much power and his mystery, while one I'd be curoius to se esolve, just adds to it.

It help's he's just charasmatic. At first seen as a goofy host and seemingly just a dleivery guy , the second he reveals himself as Wiley and shows up to Linda the switch flips> He goes from just another guy or a succesful toymaker.. to the devil himself. A manveloent tempter who simply takes what was in a person and gives it purpose and focus toward his dark lords ends. Joey Richter just projects this sense of unease to the audience, simply by being utterly calm. He takes everything easily and only really starts to project at his most when he sings, poitning out how huamntiy's own flaws and america's abandonment of it's own people gave Wiggly the weapon he needed. All they needed was the right package and a slight amplifciation from the magic. After all they needed to actually be AROUND the wiggly to become frenzied like most of the shoppers did. But it's human nature, greed and longing that let Wiggly in and all Wiley did was give them a solution to their problem. A need to fill a hole. And osmetimes that's all it takes. He's one of the most fascneating and haunting characters this franchise has put otu and I'm eager to see him again.

Finally we have Wiggly himself and Jon Mattenson, really tears it up as the friendy wend in chief. And yet he spends a good chunk of the play passive and not really talking, only getting two bits of dialouge, one in a commerical and the other failing to convert lex, and with people's own self destruction guiding thigns. It's not until Wiley shows up again and recurits Linda we get the idea Wiggly is the god he is.

And it works brilliantly: it reminds me of the first child's play: it's fairly obvious the doll is really behind this, especailly now said doll is a horror icon, yet the suspense of what's up with it, why is he not moving, and his true motives keep you hooked.. and thus makes when theyf inally do speak as themselves allt he more impactful

Case in point the bit with Hannah> Wiggly first appears as an illusion of Ethan, which Manion sells horrifingly well: while you know this really isn't ethan from minute one ti's not because well no doy, but because something's.. off about Evil Ethan. He acts like an unsettling evil jim carrey and not the ethan we knew: he's not laid back he's manic and just wants Hannah to split. it's truly unerving.. nad yet somehow and inanmiate (due to budget sadly) doll is even more terrifying. Jon delivering Wiggly's threat that "Your a rotten banana, i'm going to peel you hanana and SPLIT, YOU TO BITS", is so perfect, having that cutesy tone of a childeren's toy.. while being utterly terrifying. Wiggly is like if Chucky didn't drop the good guy voice and got his sweet jersey accent and it's unerveing as hell. A truly masterful new villian…. and the dawn of a whole new bunch of freindy wends to come and play. But we'll get to his brothers soon enough.. just not this time.

Frank Pricely is a fucking masterpiece. He dosen't last long, but Corey eats up every bit of screen time as this throughly unlikeable dick who gets his rightful commupance.. but not before again a giant gala musical number where he comes off as manager frank n furter, gives the fans all the pelvic thrusts they could want, brags about how greedy and horrible he is like mr krabs cloned himself but it came out human, and just utterly devours the scene. One of Corey's greatest parts and i'm Psyched to see him again in Daddy.. and they had to know what they were doing titling a frank centric story that.

So we've come to MacNamara and Goodman

Yeah as I said the Peip stuff is fairly week. Mac himself is fine as always, hammy, a source of hope an da decen tbig good. You still come out thinking

But I give Jeff Credit for being awesome as always. Sadly Curt Mega can't say the same. He tried his best, I don't place any of the blame on him and just from HEARING him from the soundtrack for Spies are Forever I knew he had a ton of talent going into this muiscal. President Goodman is just given nothing to work with. His only jokes are he's terribly qulaified for this crisis and he's a status quo democrat. He's.. nothing.

Thankfully we also get some great side characters. We get Ethan a mildly insetive but ultimately emapthetic and sweet boyfriend. Robert really does a good job making him charming: he and angela had great chemistry and you can see why Lex likes and trusts him, and despite being a tad insentive to hannah at first, helps calm her down and sacrifices himself so she gets away. His death is one of the most horrific and tragic moments in the hatchetfield universe, a teenager cut down in the prime of his life in a bloody and brutal way. Unlike the violence for the previous musical, we see the blood and see the poor guy slowly fade out. Truly chillling.

We aslo get the glory that is Gary Goldstien Attorney at Law. He was cleary created because while jon's main role was mickey he needed something else to do, it dosen't make him any less comedically brillant and it's puzzling that, as far as I can tell, he hasn't returned since so far. He's true comedy gold, from the goofy voice, to him gladly rerespenting two clients with conflicting intrests, to putting his tie aroun dhis head like a neckband to my faviorite thing his response to a groin attack being "ohhh right in the supoenas!" like this happens every day. He's a national treasure. The fact Jon used the SAME VOICE for one of his own characters, his BEST character, and says the two are brothers both makes this better, introduced me to the wonder that is venus please, and makes me hope Elmo gets backported into the hatchetverse. Behold his glory bellow

True. Art. Finally for new characters we have sherman young. While i'm still sore Jamie Lynn Beatty STILL hasn't gotten a starring role, I mean what the fuck, she does get to fill Lauren and Jeff's usual slot of cast weirdo. I mean she shares it with jeff here but still, she gets to really ham it up as this creep and while he's not a great character, having a creepy manchild toy collector (note collecting toys dose not make you a manchild or a creep, wanting to fuck them and hoard them all for yourself makes you a creek) does make sense and him being the one to nearly kill lex assuming as a worker she's there just to serve him was still perfectly horrifying. Not Jamie's best, but as usual for this one not her fault.

We get a few happy returns. Besides Ted, Charlotte and BIll all showing up in the final number, we get MAN IN A HURRY. Because he didn't get to say i'm in a hurry last time… Nick just decided to make that one big joke so his entire personality is now I'M IN A HURRY, and if you think him being in a hurry at black friday is a bit of a stretch.. you haven't seen anything yet. And they coudl've coasted on this one joke and i'd be fine, but adding other bits for him from being a bit of a creep (again JUST SKIP TO THE FUCKING), and loudly shouting CHAOS REIGNS. It's a great showcase for Jeff.

We also get Paul and Emma back as mentiond and while their scenes are great we see both growth in emma and some peak awkward paul "We ar eintimate". It' snot much but it was fun to see them again. Not so much the NEXT time we see them again.. but. we'll. get. to. that. Our Doors Are Closed

Black Friday is a decent musical but it's a mess. The characters can be underwritten, the tone goes a bit too dark for it's own good, and the PEIP subplot needed vast reworking they didn't get or want to do. It's an ambitious work, but one that's kicked in the head by an overused running gag with it's ambition. I can't fault the Langs for going hard on this one, I just wish it'd came togethe rbetter. The bright side is.. furture projects did. While Nightmare Time keeps narrow character focus again, we still get big stories involving a whole ass theme park, time travel to a dystopian future, and an entire dreamlike finale. Sure it's all done over camera because pandemic and all that, but it still shows how they learned to expand in scope while knowing when to ease back and hopefully that stays now their back on stage. Black Friday is still VERY much worth watching though with great music, set pieces and coreography and the performers do thier best, it's just one of the more uneven works in this fairly new franchise is all. It's not even my least faviorite or anything, we'll get to that in feburary.

SO with that we close up the mall for the season, shutter the doors and prepare for the month ahead. I probably wont' be doing any starkid material in December, it's pretty packed and this works well as a christmas edition. I"ll be back hopefully monthly in january, as the nightmare time is gonna get you as we dive back into the first two episodes. Thanks for reading, consider joining my patreon, and have a good day.

[now-two-people-are-mad-at-me]

Recasting Black Friday with other starkids

Lex: Meredith Stepiens. For this one I just pictured every starkid screaming "my mom's a bitch" and she was the one who fitted the better

Ethan : Darren Criss. I think he'd be good. No further arguments

Tom: A. J. Holmes. I don't know if he has the shoulders to play the vet, but he definitely has this dad energy

Becky : Britney Coleman. She has this caring aura, but at the same time I'd love to hear her rendition of Do you Want to Play

Linda: Ali Gordon. Like, honestly, you could tell me Linda Monroe is Vanessa's sister and I wouldn't be surprised. She'd be great

Franck Pricely: Joe Moses. An angel face and voice, just like Corey. Too sweet? Maybe. But I would love to see his rendition

Gary, Wiley: Clark Baxtresser. Just look me in the eyes and tell me Clark wouldn't rock Made in America

McNamara, Tim: Brian Holden. Chaotic. But at the same time, I wanna see this Neanderthal child again in the form of Tim

Wiggly: Brian Rosenthal. Idk why, but I see it

President Goodman, Peanuts Owner: Chris Allen. I mean, isn't Howie just a woke Duder Reese?

Sherman: Jim Povolo. Xe would definitely add something sweet, but I could see it

Hannah: Tiffany Williams. She's sweet, and could rock that scared character

Chris Kringle : Darren Criss: It's Blaine. It's basically Blaine, but straight

Noëlle : Tiffany Williams

Jingle, Jangle: Meredith Stepiens and Brian Holden

[venomousray]

Trust me to be the lover of side characters played by Joey richter (I fucking love Malone tumblr isn’t ready for how often I think about that stupid guy)

Honourable mention to Ezekiel who I also love but I felt was too major in his appearance to be part of this group

[jefferoni-quotes]

God Wanted Me Dead // Lams

-

The famous; you saved my life, now you gotta put up with me. Tumblr post, "god wanted me dead, now you get to find out why"

Ship: Lams

AU: Modern AU

TW: Death mention

A request from Wattpad!

-

"You saved my life!"

Alexander clutched onto John's front and gasped for any breath he could muster. His chest heaved with every shaky inhale he dragged into his lungs.

"Of course! I couldn't just let the bus hit you!" John explained, holding Alex up as he regained any and all strength in his legs. Alexander patted John's arm and John let go of him. "You sure you're alright?" John asked, brushing a little bit of dirt off the smaller mans shoulder.

"I'm fine, thank you. How can I repay you?" Alexander gazed up at him joyously, he began to dig through his pockets. "I only have my card on me... if you give me a minute I can run to an ATM-"

"Hey, dude it's fine. You don't have to give me anything," John held his hands up and smiled, "I'm just happy to help."

Alexander halts his search through his hoodie and looks up again. "Then... let me buy you a cup of coffee? Please, I gotta thank you in someway!" He insisted, "unless you don't drink coffee... in which case there's a really nice boba tea place-"

"You talk a lot, don't you?" John interrupts with a chuckle, "you must be studying law." He gestured to Alexander's college sweater with the embroidered word, "PRINCETON". Princeton was one of the most prestige universities in New York, and John was rather impressed.

"How'd you guess?" Alexander looked quite smug as he spoke, the shine in his eyes growing and glowing.

John smiled, "it's a gift," he insisted.

Alexander narrowed his eyes and shook his head lightly. "Listen uh... John? You look like a John," Laurens listened intently and gasped, "holy crap did I guess correctly?" Alexander interrupts his sentence when John's expression of surprise registers with him.

John nodded.

"Well, John, what I'm trying to say is... theres this nice coffee shop called Beanies just down the road if you'll let me buy you a cup," Alexander explained.

John smiled slyly, "I'd like that a lot..." He made a gesture with his hands, clearly awaiting for him to introduce himself.

"Alexander. Alexander Hamilton." Alex gaze dwindles upwards as he looked into the sky, his pupils squinting, becoming cat like.

"Well Alexander, Alexander Hamilton, I would love for you to buy me a coffee," John smiled sweetly, placing his hands in his brown suede jacket pockets. "I've never had a coffee from Beanies, I typically use the Starbucks down the street."

"Yeah? Well they sell damn good coffee there," Alexander began to walk down the street, John following hot on his heels. "So, Mr John, what do you do?" He asked sombrely as they turn the corner. They pass a Starbucks and John looks in longingly.

"Oh me? I'm in a vet apprenticeship!" He beamed with a passion and cracked his knuckles, taking them out of his pockets.

"How intellectual," he mused with a hum, stopping abruptly at the glass door of the coffee shop.

"After you."

-

John sipped an americano, watching Alexander fumble as he desperately tries to pour a packet of sugar into his coffee. "Want some help there, bud?" John offered, extending his hand.

Alexander swatted him away. "No! I can do it myself, bitch."

John blinked.

"Sorry," Alexander said with sorrow, "I shouldn't be so snappy, you stopped me from dying."

John laughed, as he wasn't quite sure how to reply.

"You know... I've been having quite the few near-death experiences recently..." Alexander mused absent-mindedly.

"Maybe you're just to powerful for god to handle," John chuckled as he took large drink from his large americano.

"God keeps trying to nerf me," Alexander chuckled amusingly, glancing up from his drink and smiled.

"How peculiar!" John brimmed with joy.

"So, tell me about yourself, John!" Alexander insisted, his cup clattering onto the table as he placed it down in a hurry. His smile shone in the dim cafe light.

John shuffled slightly uncomfortably, and coughed into his fist. "Well... I'm from Charleston, South Carolina... uh..." he trailed in thought, "I have 4 siblings." Alexander furrowed his brow as John spoke. He was evidently sweating and appeared to be unsure, but he didn't cease in speaking, so Alex continued to listen.

"My family is Christian, unlike myself." He stopped, "sorry if I'm being too personal!"

"No, no, I like to listen, go on." Alexander found himself leaning on his hands, elbows planted on the table.

"Well. I'm pretty gay, and my father wasn't too happy with that. So, he lost a son, and I lost a dad."

Alexander frowned.

"But, please! Tell me about you!" John gestured to Alexander with a wave of his hand before tucking hair behind his ear.

"Oh me?" Alexander pondered for a second, "I grew up in Nevis, in the Caribbean... uhh... I was raised by my mom, but she died when I was 12. I came here, New York, at 19 after a hurricane destroyed my town." John was sure Alexander was still talking ten minutes later. But...

If he was still talking John didn't know what about. He was just stuck watching Alex's lips move and watching the way his eyes perked up whenever he smiled.

"You?"

Oh god. He hadn't been listening.

"Huh? Oh! Pardon? Could you repeat the question?" John blabbered the reply he knew always worked in vet school.

"I'm 20, you?" Alexander repeated with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Right! I'm 21!" John grinned.

-

They tell the story often, of how they met. The details are usually exaggerated beyond comprehension.

-

It's a year after that date. John is strung across the couch, when the all too familiar sound of Alexander rocketing downstairs sounds.

He appears in the doorway of the living room, a ginger cat in his arms.

"Hey, Lexi."

"Jack."

"What've you got there?" John asked.

Alexander glanced down at the cat. He paused. "Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing," John sighed.

"Its a cat."

"How long have you had this cat hidden from me?"

"A month."

John heaved a breath out and stood up, the words of David Copperfield on the TV still ringing in his ears. He walked over to Alexander and gazed down at him.

Alexander swallowed the lump gathering quickly in his throat.

"What's his name?" John questioned brightly with a shining beam. He scratched the cat behind the ears and listened to him purr.

"Jackie..."

"Good thing I'm not allergic, ay?" John laughed. "Next time, tell me."

"Hey! You saved my life, now you have to put up with me!" Alexander insisted.

"I don't think that's the saying."

"It is now."

-

Words: 1148

Tag list:

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Just comment if you wanna be added!

Requests are open for writing! (Hamilton and Starkid)

(Reblogs > Likes)

Peace out!

[wolftattoo]

im not gonna go too into it bc i know a lot of my muts dont really care but. black friday was a little disappointing. while i found myself enjoying the latter half of songs a lot more but compared to even tgwdlm the songs are so bad... dylans singing was really beautiful but the writing was uninspired and it could have partly been the audio mixing but they felt really flat like.. starship had more professional sounding music imo. if they didnt want music they didnt have to do music. the characters were very whatever and the abuse (i assumed because i skipped past those parts bc it made me uncomfortable) subplot with that nurse character felt really unnecessary. was strange to me how they made one of the heroes an army vet what was up with that. as always joey and lauren fucking killed it to the 9th degree. people have been saying “oh you only hate it because its plot heavy” and while it was plot heavy it was also all over the place. i dont think the army/president subplot was needed at all and it really felt like a ploy to get more tgwdlm references in, which was obnoxious as all hell btw. in general however the jokes were quite funny and i did laugh a lot which is a plus. some of the new people were great and cool and i didnt hate them. so as a musical and plot wise it was weird and sucked but it was funny. i wouldnt sit through it again though i think id just watch saf or tgwdlm or some other starkid/tcb thing

[makethestorylast]

A fluffy/angsty 5+1 potseed one-shot.

Huge thanks to the Paul chat for vetting this bc I'm an anxious mess and need validation.

[itwasmungojerrie]

tagged by: @singerj2002 and @incorrectcats <<33

Name (nickname for privacy reasons): jul!! 

Gender: female i guess? idk lmao, i go by she/her n they/them

Star sign: aquarius

Height: uhhh i think 5′4/5′5

Sexuality: bisexual babey

Hogwarts house: hufflepuff???? i dont remember lmao

Current time: 14:40

Favourite artist(s): Marina and the diamonds, Lizzo, Magnus Uggla, Queen, Team Starkid, Zdzislaw Beksinski- thats off the top of my head uwu

Favourite songs: Lovefool, Hello World, ANY SBTM SONG, Particles, Buttercup

Favourite animal: FROGGE....TOADS....

Cat or dog person: Dog person? I have one. still love cats uwu

Favourite food: UHHHH im love stews

Instruments: Bass guitar

Blankets I sleep with: rn just one big, but when i get my weighted blanket OHHH MAN

Last Googled: Karen Plankton because i am gay

Average amount of sleep: 4-10 hours, it depends

Dream job: maybe.... dancer? pernahps??? or a vet for small animals

Dream trip: japannnnn. not for Tokyo, more like older historical places

Currently wearing: Soft Stuff

Other blogs: uhhhhhh @askkarenthecomputer and thats abt it

Reason for my URL: im a mungojerrie kinnie

When I made my blog: UHHHHHHH 2017?????? perhaps????? or 2018

Followers: over 400 i think

Why I made a Tumblr: i wanted to rp cats baby

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[migleefulmoments]

“you can all celebrate him willingly walking to his execution and I promise that after I make a few final goodbye” Dear lord. HIS EXECUTION?! I’m gonna need them all to take like a zillion massive steps backward. They’re really saying Darren marrying Mia is equivalent to his death. I can’t. What the hell? They can’t honestly think this sounds sane, can they?

In all fairness they have spent the last 4 or 5 years with ajw as their Chairman of the Board. She is a ruthless leader who had no trouble spinning a fantasy that was predicated on anti-Mia hate and bullying. As the self-appointed leader, she took a position of claiming most of her fabricated theories were the truth and she often claimed she knew WHAT Chris or Darren were thinking about a given situation.  I could go on and on and on but her statement yesterday is a great summation of how her thinking is jaded by her fantasies.

The thing is nonnie, it isn’t just career.  This isn’t just choosing straight. It is choosing straight AND:

A woman he literally despises and that has egregiously hurt him repeatedly

RR, the most inept manager of all time, who works for his beard

The bar that has complete personality disorder and that requires him to promote it more than anything in his career and to be physically present frequently

All of the enablers who need to be promoted constantly and this includes her friends and many of his friends

Likely giving up C for good because to me, the situation looks much different when it becomes willing. A marriage is willing, I just don’t see C being ok with this.

Being paired to a woman that acts badly. She rolls joints in cars and posts in SM, has not work ethic, parties continuously, etc etc

To me IF he wanted to choose straight, he would choose a classy beard that actually was ambitious and would bolster his image not hinder it.

This is about so much more than choosing straight. If marries M, I don’t think he ever breaks free. And M comes with too much baggage.  I honestly don’t see him surviving it long-term.

And for the record, I don’t think D is choosing straight, but i just want to emphasize M is much much more than just choosing his career over his truth.  I literally think he would need a personality transplant to make this choice.

This entire manifesto of HER beliefs about Darren getting married are nothing more than HER theories based on HER fantasy and HER HER HERHERHERHE. 

Choosing straight? Darren has constantly and constantly said he is straight since 2010. At NO time did he suggest, hint, or hem & haw that he was anything but straight. The “Darren is queer” trope is entirely fabricated and perpetuated within the CC fandom. They truly believe he is queer and then proceeds to out him on a daily basis. That is fucked up. 

A woman he literally despises and that has egregiously hurt him repeatedly? Darren has never so much as suggested he was angry at Mia let along “despises” her. We have never seen them break up or take a break. They worked together on Glee and they own a bar together. They spend a lot of time with one another. In fact, the CCers have spent many hours arguing that “it isn’t normal” that they spent so much time with the one they love. The few times that  Darren has talked about Mia over the years have constant - he loves, he loves her a lot. She has accompanied him to events for many years and in the last 4 yeas she has been to most of his events. The only ones who “despise:” Mia are the jealous CCers. 

Egregiously hurt him? Once again, there is not one story that is rooted in reality. Most couples hurt one another at some point but there is nothing that we, as fans, are privy too and nothing that reaches the level of “egregiously”. If there was then it would up to Darren’s family and friends to intervene and his family and friends like her. Darren’s family interact with her in a way one would expect of their soon-to-be DIL. Fans have seen them together at shows. There is nothing to suggest they don’t like her.  And there are no stories of Mia hurting Darren that weren’t manufactured by the CC fandom.

RR, the most inept manager of all time, who works for his beard? I know you won’t be surprised to know that stories of RR ineptness are also made up. How would any fan know what Ricky is doing for Darren? We don’t.  We do know that Darren calls Ricky his good friend and that he followed Ricky when he started his own business. I know that he hired a music PR company and told them that he only needed promotions services because he had his own manager he wants to stick with( I randomly met the music PR company CEO on an airplane). Darren’s career is flying, he is busy AF with lots of projects and the two men have worked out relationship that works well for them both. Managers aren’t allowed to control their actors lives as CCers have suggest. He must work on behalf of Darren, in Darren’s best interest at all times or Darren could end the contract. Ricky isn’t working for Mia…where would Mia get the money to pay him? Why would he hurt someone that so many people in Hollywood love- he would ruin his career when that got out. Nobody who is in Darren’s world sees anything amiss but we are supposed to believe CCers? OKAYYYY  This is another trope that AJW fabricated that isn’t based on a shred of reality but it helps her explain why Darren is not out of the closest and why he doesn’t talk to Chris and why Mia is still around.  

The bar that has complete personality disorder and that requires him to promote it more than anything in his career and to be physically present frequently The bar doesn’t have a personality disorder. It is an over-21 bar with theme nights that are well advertised. It is so easy to find a rationale explanation for why Darren promotes the bar more than anything in his career: Because IT IS HIS BAR and he LIKES it.

All of the enablers who need to be promoted constantly and this includes her friends and many of his friends This is disgusting. These are his friends…. friends he has cared about for many years. The ccProblem is that they like Mia and that can’t be so they are labeled ccEnablers. Darren’s important relationships are belittled and denigrated so that CCers can ignore the obvious - that Darren’s friends love Mia. They aren’t enablers: they are supporting a real relationship between two people they all love very much.

Likely giving up C: He was never with Chris. That was all made up in the cc fandom’s head. Chris is living his live unbothered by what is happening in Darren’s life right now because they have nothing to do with one another. 

Being paired to a woman that acts badly. She rolls joints in cars and posts in SM, has not work ethic, parties continuously, etc etc Let’s be clear, there are no examples of her acting badly that are based in reality. The CCers spend a lot of time and energy creating and publicizing Mia Acting Badly but it is all ccNonsense. Pot: She and her friends rolled 1 joint, in 1 car, 1 time. Most Americans are smoking pot today and it is legal in CA so it is ridiculous to keep bring this up. She has no work ethic: She OWNS a bar. We have no idea what else she does. She could be doing projects that we don’t see- things that aren’t made-for-social-media moments. She is on Ryan Murphy’s charity and she has done freelance work so there may be stuff we don’t know of, idk. It doesn’t matter if she is doing a lot or nothing more than owning her bar and supporting Darren’s career because that is the choice that they made as a couple in a relationship as couples do. It isn’t any of our business. 

Parties continuously: Also a CC trope that has no evidence to back it up….they just keep throwing it out hoping it sticks. It hasn’t. This trope is based on CCers deep desire to slander Mia and they caught her standing near glasses of unknown substances, belonging to unknown person at TSG so yaknow, she’s drunk amirght? Most of the time, Mia is with Darren so idk where they get the idea she is a partier unless Darren is a partier and we know that they cannot EVER, Ever, ever entertain the idea that Darren is or was ever a drunk, frat-bro. The other day they dug up a blind from 2014 that claimed Mia was doing cocaine and acting like an asshole but there was nobody thought to grab their phone and start recording. SHOCKING. Also utter BS. 

etc etc etc: All of their examples  of Mia “acting badly” are fake. I have vetted them all. There are a lot of stories of Mia treating fans badly and yet there is not ONE video; not one photo of these moments? Amazing that fans are video taping Darren’s show and the stage door moments but they never catch Mia being a raving bitch to Darren’s fans.  It’s almost like they aren’t real. 

To me IF: yes to me to me to me to me me me me me memememememe its all about her. 

M comes with too much baggage: Louis Vuitton? I’m super jealous. Darren has loved Mia for almost 9 years. He knows her baggage well. The CCers on the other hand, have no clue what is real and have fabricated a lot of fantasy luggage they will be left standing with as Darren and Mia walk down the aisle toward one another and their new life.

I honestly don’t see him surviving it long-term.This always makes me chuckle. What exactly do you imagine will happen? What actually happens to people who “don’t survive long term?” That makes for a great fiction story, the plot of many movies but what happens in real life? She imagines what about Darren?  

According to CC trope, Darren is living a life of hell right now- lying to everyone, having to keep a billion balls in the air and all the lies and stories straight. He has to lie to everyone and keep track of those lies- lies to friends, fans, family, interviewers, team members, Mia’s family, Mia’s friends,TSG patrons, and people he works with on set. He has to pretend and ACT like he likes Mia at Hollywood events, TSG, weekends with Starkid, in front of fans and with their families. He has to spend all day with Mia and run home to Chris for 2 hours of snuggling and spooning. He has to engage his parents in participating in stunts to keep the ruse going. He has to get everyone who knows to lie for him. 

If he breaks it off with Chris and marries Mia, he stays in the closet and just lives his life. Yes, he is denying his sexuality-but many men in Hollywood have done so for many years. and according to ajw, staying in the closet and having a beard is the norm right now. Let’s be real, he is doing all of this- hiding in the closet, marrying Mia, and forsaking Chris in order to keep his fame. There is no other reason to keep his sexuality hidden except for fame because literally nobody but Ryan Murphy, Fox Studio, Ricky Rollins and Mia Swier CARE what Darren’s sexuality is. He could be a lawyer in NYC and nobody would care if he was queer…or an actor in San Francisco or run a theatre in Michigan. He is literally Ariel, trading his sexuality and sexual freedom to Ursula in exchange for his career. 

Staying hidden deep in the closet and forsaking his love would be a horrible price to pay for sure but to me it seems far less horrible than the story spun by the CrissColfers that describe a life of deception, fear, and a lack of integrity.  In this scenario, marrying Mia means he lies to himself about his sexuality but in exchange he gets to stop lying to EVERYONE else. 

The truth is that all of the CC theories are based on 2 things: 

the CCer’s baseless hatred of a woman they don’t know

they are concocted to explain why Darren’s behavior and words do not support the most basic CC trope: that Darren is queer and that he and Chris are in a long-term committed relationship.

Every single CC trope and theory was fabricated in direct response to something Darren did or said that did not reflect that is queer and/or in love with Chris Colfer. The tropes are fabricated as explanations for behavior that does not uphold CrissColfer and this has led to an enormous number of unrelated and complicated tropes. As we get farther away from Glee and it became readily apparent to everyone except the CC fandom that Chris and Darren do not have a public relationship, the tropes rely more and more on an endless number of “contracts” that seem to serve no purpose other than to “promote” Mia and/or ruin Darren’s life. It is all utter rubbish. 

The most logical, most simple, easier explanation as to why Darren said or did something that doesn’t uphold CrissColfer is that 

Darren Criss Loves Mia Swier

That one simple sentence solves all of the mysteries about Darren’s behavior over the last 10 years.