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differentcoloredcontacts · 9 months ago

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Ayo you're back!! Awesome!! Could I perhaps ask for how each of them are when they're chronically sleep deprived? Like "I've lived off of caffeine for the past two weeks and I am currently communing with the microwave via love bites" kind of sleep deprived (and maybe what the others do to get them to fucking bed)?

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he already casually drinks energy drinks so no one really noticed he was as tired as he was until they tried talking to him. Bro can not understand a word being said to him at any given moment. Not to mention he sounds like the dyslexic scene from the ghost stories dub. Rin or someone probably throws him onto his bed only for him to almost instantly pass out lmao.

Sen - everyone knew he was lacking sleep when the saw him poor an energy drink into black coffee and say sorry to a wall for walking into it. He eventually falls asleep on the common areas couch and his classmates just leave him there undisturbed. (Monoma did draw on his face with a sharpie thought)

Kamakiri - it takes so long for people to find out hes lacking sleep. Him cussing at objects and drinking 12 black coffees in five minutes or less is considered normal for some reason. They only realize hes desperately needs rest when he doesn't immediately try to fight tetsu when he asks to train his quirk. He probably just ends up falling asleep on his own since he dosent let his classmates in his room anyways.

Kuroiro - bro is always sleep deprived so nothings new. He goes on average 2-3 days without sleep. So him walking into class with a bag full of energy drinks and a large black coffee extra espresso in hand no ones really surprised.

Kendo - shes pretty good at keeping a good sleep schedule but because of that kendo losing only a few hours of sleep can really mess with her head. So a full all nighter has her seeing stars and stuff. Everyone can instantly tell shes exhausted and all it takes is for someone to ask her to go take a nap and she does just that no problem.

Kodai - when shes sleep deprived she actually becomes more talkative but shes yawning in the middle of every sentence and constantly losing her train of thought (not to mention she poured an entire pot of coffee onto the floor before realizing she missed her cup completely.) Komori or kendo probably takes her to bed lmao

Komori - shes a very loving person so when shes sleep deprived its probably because she struggles sleeping without someone near her. Shes probably used to sleepovers with the other girls (mostly pony and setsuna) so once the girls see komori bite into a piece of tree bark she found on the ground they decided to hold a small sleepover to help her out.

Shiozaki - its really hard for her to become tired much less sleep deprived since she can absorb a little energy from the sun with her vine hair (at least thats what the wiki said) but since shes used to the sun giving her a little boost she quickly becomes tired during long periods of clouds and rain with little sunlight. She starts to doze off while standing and kendo has had to carry her to her room more than once during this.

Shishida - once he starts getting tired he takes less care of his hair(fur?) And it quickly starts getting tangled and matted. He unintentionally starts sounding like an old man thats fought both world wars. Idk its just his tired tone of voice lmao. He probably doesn't drink energy drinks so when hes sleep deprived there isnt a moment where there isnt a black coffee in his hand. He probably ends up falling asleep sitting up in a chair.

Shoda - if hes lacking too much sleep and the coffee and energy drinks arnt helping anymore he will simply fall asleep at his desk for a few minutes at a time or in the common area. If hes that sleep deprived he will catch up on sleep through little naps throughout the day instead of just going to bed normally. (Which arguably makes his sleep deprivation worse)

Pony - when shes sleep deprived she dosent bother with brushing her hair in the mornings or things like that so as she gets less and less sleep she looks more and more like a zombie. She probably is a lot like komori and needs one of the girls to help her sleep a bit.

Tsubaraba - hes always sleep deprived. It gives charachter. He'll go for days without sleep and not even notice until one of his classmates point out how hes taking to his own shadow. Rin and awase got him to go to bed. (It took welding him down but if it works it works)

Tetsutetsu - not getting proper sleep isnt manly in his opinion, so he tries his best to take good care of his sleep schedule. So on the rare times where he is lacking sleep hes not sure what to do. He ends up falling asleep in class and staying asleep until schools over pretty much. Other than being really tired and barely being able to form a coherent sentence hes not as bad sleep deprived as ya think.

Tokage - she will say absolutely anything and everything she thinks of when shes tired and she will be immediately forget what she said. Its not anything mean or remotely understandable for that matter, but she will say it. She seems the type to get more tired from things like coffee and energy drinks so those dont help. The only way she gets any sleep is either from the girls sleepover or by actually collapsing

Manga - pulling 4 all nighters in a row just to draw was not his smartest moment. Doing that during exam season was an even dumber move. He pulled up to class without a pencil or book of any kind but he had a black coffee with triple espresso. He dosent like coffee but he forgot until he was already half way done with his coffee and the bitter taste hit him like a truck. After that he slept for like 2 and a half days straight.

Honenuki - he can go 4 or 5 days without sleep but in those final few hours on the last day he loses all grip on sanity lmaoo. He'll be fine and then suddenly he'll be drinking 12 energy drinks in one sitting and forgetting his own name. Hes pretty good at getting himself to sleep at that point tho.

Bondo - no one can tell hes sleep deprived until he falls asleep standing up. He starts moving all sluggish like and is constantly yawning but other than that not much of a difference despite how tired he is. He probably ends up falling asleep in the common area.

Monoma - he loses an hour of sleep and he'll look like he hasn't slept in months. So even one all nighter causes him to get the biggest eye bags youve ever seen. He can only stay awake thanks to the multiple energy drinks he has. He finally gets some sleep after kendo knocked him out.

Reiko - she usually stays up later than the rest of the class so shes used to having a bit less sleep than some of her classmates but the second she starts walking into walls because she can barely keep her eyes open she knows its time for bed. When she gets like this she can sleep for almost a full day and a half and still be tired when she wakes up. Becoming sleep deprived is how she knows its bed time.

Rin - the only reason he would ever lose sleep is if he stayed up all night studying or some nerdy thing like that lmao. Day of the test he walks in with the biggest eye bags and 12 energy drinks in his bag only to pass out the second it starts and not wake up all day. He refuses to pull all nighters after his final grade dropped 20% from that.

Gifs anime - dungeon meshi

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bedlamsbard · 9 months ago

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I know this is kind of out of nowhere but for the longest time I was super weird and mentally dismissive of your burning out of Star Wars because I was someone who survived the OEU's insanity back in the day and managed not to burn out of Star Wars in the face of ridiculous nonsense like the Yuuzhan Vong and Killiks, so if I could survive that, you were of course entitled to dislike Star Wars but I still found it silly. Anyway I just finished watching Tales of the Jedi(Resolve) and I Get It Now.

...I recognise that may not be the most hinged thing to say to someone I don't actually know, and apologise for my mild to moderate insanity; I slept three hours, am very sick, it's shark week, and my brain seized on you as someone who'd Get It and who I had been hard on in my thoughts in the past, but, like, none of that actually affected you until I randomly said it? So anyway sorry for babbling at you like that lmfao, I'll stop talking now

Okay. I've been thinking about these since I saw them; I saw the first one before the second one arrived, which was a hell of a thing to wake up to since I saw it first thing in the morning. While my usual policy is to leave messages along these lines in my inbox, I was genuinely upset and wanted to respond once I had a more coherent reaction than "why me, gods, why does this always happen to me."

So, first of all, I'm sorry that you had an installment in canon that didn't do it for you; it happens to the best of us and there are very few people in fandom who uncritically (or even critically) enjoy everything in canon, especially in a fandom as big and long-running as Star Wars.

It's also very common for people to fall out of love with a fandom, even a fandom they've been in for a very long time; I would say that fen who have consistently been in one fandom for an extended period of time are probably rarer than those who haven't. It's not always because there is one installment that is just The Worst; often that's just a tipping point for fen who have been on the edge for a while. (Ask your average former MCU fan who left after Avengers Endgame.) Other times fen just drift away from a fandom without a reason to push them out. Maybe their favorite characters have died, maybe the canon is no longer telling stories they're interested in even if none of those stories are "bad," maybe it's a closed canon and without new stories there's nothing to keep them there; there's any number of factors.

I had a very dramatic breakup with Star Wars three years ago, and it was about three years after I really should have gotten out of the fandom, because I had not been having a good time for a while at that point. And honestly, considering that I hadn't had a healthy relationship with either Star Wars or the fandom for a while before that, for various reasons that go well beyond what was happening in canon, arguably I should have gotten out even earlier. However, I'm monofannish to a fault and I really needed something that would actually kick me to a new fandom -- which meant it couldn't come from Star Wars.

I don't really dislike Star Wars as a whole. There are individual installments that I quite dislike, there are some that I still love, and the vast majority of Star Wars I'm neutral on. I do however have a very fucked up relationship with Star Wars, including the canon, the PTB, and the fandom itself. I have gotten regular abuse on Wake and Gambit for the past ten years, which really screwed up my relationship with AO3 and with the prequel era. There is canon that I really, really dislike, some of it because it personally does nothing for me (the ST), some of it because from my point of view, it completely fucked over a story I love (Rebels S4, TCW S7, some other stuff that contradicts stuff from the EU I love; I came out of the EU too), some of it because I just plain don't like it (THR, most of the comics), and some of it because watching it just plain made me feel like I was being gaslit, which is not something I say lightly (Mando is the worst offender, but there are others). A lot of these are problems that could come out of any fandom, especially a large, long-running, multi-media fandom; I know a lot of Marvel people who have very similar problems, though I think the scale tends to be slightly different there just because the canon is set up differently.

When I switched fandoms, I had to recalibrate my entire relationship to fandom, to canon, to AO3, and to how I interacted with all of them. I still have to check myself in most of those places because my relationship with Star Wars had screwed me up so much. I had to train myself into being able to post on AO3 again; I do talk regularly about how a lot of what I write is shaped by trying to avoid getting the kind of reactions I got and still get from my Star Wars fic, even years later. I have to make conscious decisions not to engage with every part of the canon without feeling like a failed fan, especially the installments I'm pretty sure I'll dislike, because I tried to do that in Star Wars and it regularly messed me up. As a cosplayer, I still have a fairly bad reaction to even seeing the word "approvable," and it took a while for me not to have a similar reaction to "screen-accurate." I'm still destashing most of my Star Wars merch and right now, my reaction to seeing new Marvel merch isn't "ooh, would I wear/use this?" it's "when I inevitably have a horrendous breakup with this fandom will I be able to resell it?" which is not a really healthy relationship to have with a fandom. (I have mostly moved off this but not entirely.) I knew that Star Wars had screwed my relationship with Disney World, when I had a panic attack on Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind because I was so terrified that it was going to be ~necessary canon, even though Marvel has never operated that way; Star Wars does with Galaxy's Edge, which I don't really like being in anymore either.

And yes, I'm aware all of these are an extreme overreaction to getting out of a fandom. I'm not happy about it either and I wish it wasn't happening. It's better now than it was a couple years ago and I'm frankly glad I'm not in the fandom anymore; I'm happy for people who are or who have gotten back into it and are having a good time. I am not one of them; I may some day be one again, but probably not anytime soon.

But even if I didn't have this specific fucked up relationship with Star Wars, a fandom I have not been in for three years at this point, sometimes people just burn out on a fandom. I'm not a CSI:NY fan anymore, either. (Which my last big fandom prior to Narnia, which I just drifted away from. I've only been in five big writing fandoms over twenty years.)

#thelearnedsoldier #bedlam replies #I haven't been in star wars fandom for THREE YEARS #THREE YEARS

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catboyklug · 2 months ago

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Characters: Amy Rose [ she / her ]

Warnings: Talks extensively about being touch-starved; Amy is like 12 years old still

Notes: this was supposed to be a lot longer ; dividers once again by @rookthornesartistry !!

Words: 577

Papers have been sorted.

All security cameras are clear.

Everyone's doing their work.

And Amy's done here.

She sighs, slumping down in her chair in a decidedly unladylike way.

The war's only been going on for a couple of months, at most, but already she feels an exhaustion so deep it seeps into her bones.

She's been working for almost seven hours straight, and has been averaging probably 18-hour workdays every day since the week after the war began.

Maybe, now that she's on break, she could go visit Cream...

...Or try to bake something for everyone else...

...Or maybe grow half a brain again, and just rest.

Rest sounds good.

Even after grabbing the sides of her chair to push herself up, it takes a few seconds before she's standing again.

She hasn't been skimping out on wearing her knee braces, but that doesn't exactly help if the pain and weakness comes from sitting down instead of standing up...

Sighing, she powers through it, lifting up her cargo bag - huge, pink and covered in adorable patches and stickers - and limps out of her office and over to her room.

And now, hours later, she finds herself staring at the mottled-grey ceiling and wonders if she'll ever go back home.

Her room is the same as everyone else's. Grey bedding, grey walls, grey ceiling, dark floorboards.

Not wanting any special priveledges, she specifically asked for the room. It was cramped, and uncomfortable, but it did the trick. Plus, the other soldiers seemed to be relieved by her decision.

And, honestly? She was relieved, too.

Never ever, not once in her life, has she wanted to be anything but Amy Rose.

Amy Rose the independent, strong, fashionable, cute young woman. Amy Rose the comic artist. Amy Rose the seamstress.

But Amy Rose has never once, not ever, been the General of a war.

And Amy Rose is still a kid.

She's still just a kid...

And she still wants her room to be painted nice, warm, welcoming colors.

She wants big, sparkly stickers on the walls, and posters of all her favorite bands.

She wants a comfy bed, one that doesn't hurt her back so much to sleep on, with nice, fluffy pillows covered in hearts and stars and flowers and cute bugs.

And she wants a huge plushie to hug.

She wants anything or anyone to hug.

She wants...

...

She needs to calm down and stop crying.

It's her break! She's gotta rest up! Or, if she isn't going to rest, she should do something productive!

...But she doesn't want to.

She just wants to cry.

Cry, and wail, and scream, until someone comes to her, scoops her up in their arms and rocks her to sleep, telling her everything's gonna be okay; she's safe; she's loved;

But it isn't. She isn't. And she can change that, but she's tired, and grumpy, and feels so lost, and scared, and alone, and lonely,

And all the negative feelings well up, and she's trying so hard to be a good girl, a good general, a good everything. To be presentable, lovable, someone to look up to.

But it hurts. Every day it hurts. Every day...

She sobs, whispering these secrets to her thin, grey pillow, sniffling into the emptiness of her room.

She's alone. She's lonely. And that isn't going to change.

She's so tired.

Too tired to rest.

And she's convinced that won't ever change.

#hurt no comfort #angst #amy rose #rosie the rascal #amy the hedgehog #sth #sonic the hedgehog #sonic au #sonic forces rewrite #sonic forces #klug's writing #fanfic #fanfiction

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simplegenius042 · 1 year ago

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OC(s) interviews

Wasn't tagged but was invited by @onehornedbeast in an open tag.

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @shallow-gravy @carlosoliveiraa @strangefable @voidika @g0dspeeed @strafethesesinners @adelaidedrubman @thewanderer-000 @josephslittledeputy @vampireninjabunnies-blog @neverthesameneveranother @derelictheretic @deputyash @purplehairsecretlair @ec-10 @gaeadene @henbased @inafieldofdaisies @inthewinedarksea @jacobmybeloved @ladyoriza @minilev @wrathfulrook @direwombat @cassietrn @chazz-anova @nightbloodbix @softtidesworld @snake-in-the-garden @corvosattano and @trashcatsnark + anyone else who would like to join in (or just read this as I am under the impression I'm a bit late)

Got three characters ready to roll out. My very late WIP post is also almost complete, but that will come at a later time... and maybe something else.

Calvin Dearing (The Untitledverse, Original Works (& Various Fandoms))

Name: Calvin Dearing

Nicknames(s): Cal, Carl. (More TBA).

Gender: Male.

Star Sign: Cancer.

Height: Around 5ft 6inch.

Orientation: Demisexual.

Nationality/Ethnicity: African-American.

Fave Fruit: PLUMS. Don't go near this man while he's having plums, he will not share and is prepared to debate or fight anyone who wants one depending on his mood.

Fave Season: Autumn.

Fave Flower: Honeysuckle.

Fave Scent: Honestly? The smell of books or the wood in studios. Brings back good memories to when he was alive.

Coffee, Tea, or HC: Caffeine fiend, just like Joaquin. Trying to replace coffee with tea.

Average Hours of Sleep: Used to be like 5 or 6. Since having died, he doesn't need sleep but does rest/meditate like 3 or 4 hours, maybe less, to conserve energy.

Dog or Cat Person: Probably a cat, but would prefer to keep something "simple" alive... like a fish.

Dream Trip: This man wanted to visit Australia, Germany, Japan and Sweden when he was alive but money was severely limited since Terrance Carmine was a greedy bastard. Being a Dream Spirit he has to deal with multiversal travel which is free but way more dangerous than simple traveling would have been.

Favourite Fictional Character: Mickey Mouse.

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: One when he was alive. Now that he's dead he doesn't really feel the need for one since everything's a mess of hot and cold for no reason.

Random Fact: Calvin was one of Terrance Carmine's most loyal employees, and was even the one to insist Terrance use the opportunity of WW1 to spark popularity into their cartoons to spread propaganda to have others join the military. It was very profitable, however once the war was over, the very thing that gave meaning to the cartoons Calvin and Terrance made was no gone, and their animations irrelevant, leading to the studio bankrupting. Terrance wasn't very happy with Calvin, and invited him for one last talk before closing the studio for good.

Silva Omar (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Far Cry 5 + Far Cry New Dawn)

Name: Sylvester "Silva" Omar

Nickname/s: Sylvie, Silva, The Boa, The Muse, The Deputy. (More TBA).

Gender: Female (Intersex).

Star Sign: Capricorn.

Height: Around either 5ft 8inches or 5ft 9inches. She'd likely grow a little more taller from age and her father's late genetics.

Orientation: Demiromantic Lesbian.

Nationality/Ethnicity: Spanish with Arabic origins (on her egg donor's side).

Fave Fruit: The classic apple.

Fave Season: Spring.

Fave Flower: Lavender.

Fave Scent: Hot chocolate and Bliss.

Coffee, Tea or HC: Coffee, but she's moving on to tea.

Average Hours of Sleep: Very inconsistent. She has insomnia and reoccurring nightmares that keep her up/wake her up. Less than seven hours on a good night and less than five on a bad one. She does take time to rest or nap throughout the day so there's that.

Dog or Cat Person: She doesn't mind either. Before the Reaping, she'd want nothing to do with dogs, cats or any other animal because she can't really afford to keep something alive while barely functioning herself. During the Reaping she gets a dog, a cougar and a bear.

Dream Trip: Spain and anywhere in the Middle East, actually. The former because after having to repeatedly lie she was born there for majority of her life in America, she got curious about what it is actually like there, and wanted to connect connect with the culture more, without her father's input or stain on it all. The latter was mainly to connect with heritage. Unfortunately, no thanks to the Collapse, she's not going to be going to either for a long while, if at all.

Favourite Fictional Character: Frankenstein's Monster.

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: Silva sleeps with two blankets.

Random Fact: Silva despises the snow and the winter, however does enjoy breezy cold nights. Also here's a sad fact; Silva doesn't really celebrate Christmas on account that most of her family and friends are dead, she's a recluse and Christmas is her late sister's (Elsa's) birthday, which Elsa died a day or two after.

Hatsukami Hinode (Life, Despair & Monsters, Miraculous Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir (+ Various Fandoms))

Name: Hatsukami Hinode

Nickname/s: Suka, Hats. (More TBA).

Gender: Male.

Star Sign: Aries.

Height: Hatsukami will tell you he is 5ft 4inches. Icarus' body's height is actually 5ft and 8inches.

Orientation: Hatsukami isn't really interested in those kind of stuff, unlike Icarus and Xavier.

Nationality/Ethnicity: Japanese.

Fave Fruit: Cherries.

Fave Season: Spring.

Fave Flower: Daisies.

Fave Scent: Freshly baked stuffed chocolate Croissants.

Coffee, Tea or HC: Milkshakes.

Average Hours of Sleep: 10 to 13 hours. He oversleeps.

Dog or Cat Person: Dog person.

Dream Trip: If he could, he would go around the world.

Favourite Fictional Character: Spongebob Squarepants.

Number of Blankets They Sleep With: Three. Icarus and Xavier hate it.

Random Fact: The Hinode family assumed that Hatsukami's behaviour was a result of repressed emotional growth. They had not realised that Hatsukami was one in three alters. ALSO! Hatter (the interdimensional parasite that Xavier had unknowingly ingested while fronting) credits his name in honour of Hatsukami after bonding with the young lad.

#the untitledverse #oc: calvin dearing #far cry the silver chronicles #oc: silva omar #life despair & monsters #oc: hatsukami hinode #oc interviews #oc tag

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cherry-shake · 1 year ago

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Deep Dive of Bucky’s Character Design

I have ridiculously strong opinions about Bucky being drawn with blue eyes in most comics now-a-days. Sebastian Stan is hot and all, but his character design is really important to his overarching theme in his early runs.

1. Eyes

According to Marvel’s Handbook, Bucky Barnes has brown eyes and has been drawn that way for a long time. Brown eyes are the most common eye color for all races. Mostly because of its dominant trait. Bucky has never been drawn to be unique. No flames or gills, just a plane man. That was the whole point of his creation to encourage young people and normal people to make a difference.

2. Hair

Of course, his hair is also brown. The most common hair color. I think it’s also important to note, other than as the Winter Soldier, he keeps his hair short. Growing up on a military base and then joining the military at 16, it’s not that surprising he is use to having his hair short. Of course, it’s not like they are measuring your hair length in the middle of WW2 so this is probably out of reqs. A part of Bucky’s history that is often ignored is that he was used as the soldier behind Steve. He did the killing and dirty work while Steve fought more like a hero. At heart, he is a soldier not a symbol.

3. Height

Canonically, Bucky’s height is 5’ 9” which also happens to be the U.S. average for men. Compared to a lot of heroes, especially super soldiers, he is shorter. In fact, he is only two inches taller than Natasha. Meanwhile, Steve would tower over him. I think this once again hones in that Bucky was suppose to be the normal guy on a team of heroes and androids. Luckily, he does not have short man syndrome.

4. Uniform

There were no flashy stars and strips for Bucky in the war. Even as Captain America, his colors were more subdued. I find that Bucky’s original costume reminds me of the Union’s civil war costume with the buttons (image from MET). In fact, some regents added red into their blue costumes as well. As the Winter soldier, his costume is a call back to the modern soldier. His uniforms have always designated him as a soldier no matter what side he was on.

At the end of the day, Bucky Barnes was written as an average man keeping on par with superheroes like Captain America, Atlanteans, and super androids. Unlike some characters (*cough* Clint *cough*), he’s never been too upset about not having powers and being average. However, he does hate being considered a side kick. I mean imagine calling a WW2 vet a sidekick. His character design has been very important in establishing his normalcy. He was always drawn as an average Joe with brown eyes and hair and an average height. Bucky was meant to connect with readers and inspire them in a different way than Steve. Even though he’s not really normal anymore with a metal arm and the infinity serum. To me, he will always have dark eyes.

JUST PLEASE STOP DRAWING COMICS!BUCKY as SEBASTIAN STAN

#bucky barnes #comics #winter soldier #captain america #steve rogers #Invaders #marvel #616 #Sorry I’m a bit invested

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crenna · 1 year ago

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tis I.

your Annoying Tumblr Mutual, here once more to ask thee questions !!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

ೃ⁀➷ fav holiday?

ೃ⁀➷ comfort film?

ೃ⁀➷ how many languages can you speak?

ೃ⁀➷ celebrity crush? (tehe)

ೃ⁀➷ if you could hang out with someone (dead or alive) for 24 whole hours, who would it be? :3

ೃ⁀➷ song that never fails to make you feel *something*? (and what is that feeling?)

as always, feel free to ignore this, I won't take it personally!! after all, I am The Annoying Tumblr Mutual :)

okayyy baii, ty for being my mutual, I appreciate youuu <3.ೃ࿐

hihihi Lovely Tumblr Mutual, always a delight to see you in my inbox!! thank you for sending me stuff again!! 💗 here we go hehe:

ೃ⁀➷ fav holiday?

christmas!! i’ve always been such a christmas girlie, idk i just love the magical atmosphere and spending time with my family and friends? also the FOOD idk if other countries have the same gingerbread cookies as we do in finland but i’m obsessed with them <3

ೃ⁀➷ comfort film?

i don’t have just one, but i always come back to the star wars movies once in a while! also a shoutout to legally blonde and all those christmas romcoms that literally all have the same plot, always puts me in a good mood <3

ೃ⁀➷ how many languages can you speak?

two fluently (finnish and english), one at an average level (swedish) and two just a little bit (japanese and german)!

ೃ⁀➷ celebrity crush? (tehe)

i hate to admit that i actually don’t have a celebrity crush 😭 i do have many fictional crushes tho 👀💕

ೃ⁀➷ if you could hang out with someone (dead or alive) for 24 whole hours, who would it be? :3

THIS IS SUCH A DIFFICULT BUT GOOD QUESTION like if it could be anyone?? i’m tempted to say stephanie garber because i have some questions after reading a curse for true love lmaooo

but like it’d be such a good opportunity i’d have to Think About It and i’d probably choose someone else after all <3

ೃ⁀➷ song that never fails to make you feel *something*? (and what is that feeling?)

ohhhh there are so many but i’m gonna go with this super cute song called you will always be the one (by loving caliber)! it always gives me this soft and warm and happy and safe feeling 💗

all of these ended up so long LMAO i appreciate you tooo, i hope you’ll have a lovely day!! <3

#asks #tysm for sending me these it was sm fun to answer and made my day <3

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snowmuttgetsweird · 8 months ago

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5/12/24, late morning

How about something a little more positive while I wait for my mom to give me the okay to call her for mother's day?

I love my day job! I'm a TCG guy more than anything, hobby-wise, so exploring board games as a sales person has been intimidating, and I frequently feel like I'm underperforming even when my coworkers tell me I'm doing great and that I'm providing skills the crew doesn't have otherwise, but it's a wonderful job. It's relatively low stress, there's ample opportunity to steal extra shifts which makes up for the middling pay, and a (generous) employee discount for arguably my most expensive hobby (ironically Digimon is one of the cheapest TCGs out there) is a godsend.

On quiet days, I'm frequently treated with an opportunity to learn a new board game. Last week I learned Wingspan, a few days ago I learned Wyrmspan, and just yesterday I learned Scout. I've even had opportunities to play multiple games before they were even available to the general public like Gloomhaven Buttons & Bugs and Star Wars Unlimited! So far almost everything that I've played I've enjoyed a lot too.

It might not be the highest paying job, but it's very easy, the staff and management is super laid back and grounded, and I get to learn board games. I literally can't think of anything wrong with that. It's the kind of job that makes me WANT to do my best, so I frequently go above and beyond the level of effort I'd normally exert for other retail jobs I've had.

Besides all that, it might have literally saved my life. Art is cool, but it doesn't pay that well- especially at the level I'm at. This day job being my primary flow of income with art being supplemental has been very good, and I'm very lucky that my patrons and followers are willing to be so patient with me while I find my footing.

I know I've said so before, but I feel like this year I've really got a great chance at succeeding financially. Last year I only had my day job since September, so for 8 months I had to earn a bare minimum of about $1800 a month through art alone so I could set aside 20% for taxes and still pay rent. This year, my day job and Patreon more or less cover rent for me, and everything I make through art is technically "gravy." Right now, all of that is going toward paying off money I owe to my roommate for covering most of our utilities by himself, but once that's all paid off and I'm consistently making enough to keep up with paying half of those bills, 30% of whatever I make through art will be set aside for taxes from now on, regardless of how much I make since I'm not trying to hit a specific threshold for rent, and then the rest can become SAVINGS! The key now is to calculate the average cost of our bills and utilities so I can try to make sure I make MORE per month than what I owe so I can catch up to the ongoing fees. I'm pretty optimistic about that.

BOOKS! As you know, I've been reigniting my love for reading since a little before I moved to WA- mostly because it's cheap (I've fallen in love with my local discount book shop's clearance racks), and it's a great way to fill in dead hours and lunch periods at the day job and quiet evenings at home when I'm done with art. Especially now that it's warming up, sometimes I like to head outside for a walk and then settle down and read in the park. Once in a while I treat myself to a milk tea or something too.

I finished The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon, and I loved it. I'm probably going to give it a second read because I think there were some parts I may have ADHD'd through and not quite absorbed, and the sequel should be out sometime this year too. I got The Archive Undying as a birthday gift last year, so the sequel might be the first brand new book I'll have purchased in a while lol- I'm super excited.

My friend that let me borrow Legends & Lattes picked up a copy of the prequel, Bookshops & Bonedust, which he let me borrow before he started reading it himself, and I devoured it. Much like the first, it's a super cozy little read- not much in the way of substance, very little in the way of world building or complex character relationships, etc, but rich in comfort and good feelings.

Right now I'm working on a collection of Lovecraftian/Cosmic Horror short stories called Horrors Beyond: Tales of Terrifying Realities, and I found a couple more books from my local discount book store I'll tackle after that: What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson (honestly I did not know this was a book first- shame on me) and The Star Fraction by Ken Macleod. I got them both off the clearance rack for just a little over $5 bucks in all!

I'm also experimenting with audio books. While I'm doing relatively mindless logistics stuff at the day job, I'm listening to audio books in one ear of some things I've read a while ago, but since kinda forgot. My mom was always a huge Anne Rice fan and had proudly collected the entirety of her works, and so I read a handful of books from her library growing up (my personal favorite of what I've read myself actually being Cry to Heaven). One I remember reading but not really enjoying much was actually the first book in her Vampire Chronicles, Interview with the Vampire. I'm not a big Louis fan (I'm more in the Lestat camp myself) and found the book as a whole kinda dull, mostly due to Louis' weak and winging personality, but I've since decided to give it another shot as an audio book, and it IS at least better than I remember giving it credit for. I still don't care for Louis though, lol. I prefer to read myself, but audio books are nice just to keep my brain going with something in the background while I'm doing something otherwise fairly mindless, like alphabetizing and rearranging miniatures or beautifying shelves of product.

GAMES! Not a TON to talk about here tbh. I've mostly been playing FF7 Rebirth, and it's been... Good...? I finally beat it on Normal after about 150 hours trying to exhaust every sidequest and minigame as much as possible, and I've since begun my Hard mode NG+. The story is great, there are a couple parts I'm not fond of that feels like Nomura is just Kingdom Hearts-ing all over FF7, but it's good overall and the gameplay feels really good. The most frustrating part of the game by far is just all the minigames- mostly that in order to completely beat them all, you have to do them PERFECTLY- it's very unforgiving.

Gotta go for now. Talk later. :)

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toindeedbe-agod · 7 months ago

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ill get into real posting in a sec i need to deliver new hcs for the modern au tho 🙏

neil

on the academic team at welton. he plays jv and is not great at it but damn does he try

spiritual connection to jeff buckley. the other poets are only mostly worried esp since he doesnt know how to swim

fucks around with his schedule so hard he ends up taking keatings three times in one year on top of also being his ta

has never climbed a tree ever

knows how to tie his shoes like, in theory

major gleek. dragged todd into it

absolutely cannot cannot cannot drive. do not trust him with it. he can get himself to school and back and only just barely.

considers himself Artsy and Pretentious. listens to dua lipa

last true high school shakespearian scholar

todd

holder of the groups dab pen 🙏

has a cat that charlie swears up and down looks like tom cruise. no one else sees it.

listens to midwest emo

insomniac.

watches the princess bride once a week

favorite author is ray bradbury

only one in the friend group who likes the great gatsby and it genuinely pains him to this day the extent he believes the others are misunderstanding it

secret lana del ray listener

unfortunate addiction to toaster strudels. school supplies $20 new books $70 toaster strudels $898759 gifts for friends $30 someone whos good at budgeting please help

charlie

#1 shenanigans getter-up-to. a real ne'er-do-well.

will do anything if he thinks itll be fun enough. starring in the school play w neil? sure. breaking into the local middle school? absolutely. helping film a music video for one of pitts' fave bands at 8pm cause hes the only one w a video camera? whatever dude just give him a heads up to put pants on

probably genderfluid but he has a job so he doesnt really care (<jobless loser tho)

hes actually native and not racist. trust im native and im literally him

wears the same busted ass pair of doc martens every day. theres a hole in both of them. theyre covered in what is either red paint or blood. the laces are in complete disrepair. theyre so so scuffed. he loves them

#gorewhore. #horrorfanatic. #fangs. absolutely loves horror movies, the freakier the better

takes naps like its his fucking job.

meeks

takes ap classes for fun. everyone hates him for this

has a deeply held suspicion that charlie may have actually boned his mom but it hurts too much to think about

tried so hard to be a twitch streamer when he was 12 and charlie will never let it go

tries every year to show charlie either 1. lord of the rings 2. dune and it never ever works.

made a tiktok recipe for a friend hang out once (1) and now he has to make it every time for threat of tears from charlie and neil

babysits for extra cash. teaches the kids how to swear

had braces from 7th grade to 11th grade

isnt allowed to eat white bread

gets sunburns in the shade

pitts

failed econ 🙏

has seen all the human centipede movies. thinks the first one is great but the second one is just awful.

plays crazy amounts of dating sims and visual novels and shit. steam account is literally radioactive

gets yelled at for wearing airpods in class once a day

only one brave enough to eat school lunch

secret soft spot for romcoms. dude just wants love

massive crush on natasha richardson he misses her every day

likes the star wars sequels. even ep 9.

keeps a shaved head (after he accidentally set his hair on fire)

totaled his car. was still bought a new one

has walked into hotels just to abuse the complimentary waffle machines

knox

also failed econ 😔

scared of the rock bottom episode of spongebob

big spongebob watcher in general

also a big stranger things watcher

lowkey if its a basic tv show hes watchin it. knox is helping to bring down the average media literacy rate of the world singlehandedly

obsessed with romcoms. especially terrible ones.

kiss me by sixpence none the richer can make him cry if you time it just right

#loverboy

would lose his head were it not attached to his body

certainly the prettiest crayon in the box, if not the sharpest

probably dyslexic but we'll never know

#c: charlie dalton #c: neil perry #c: knox overstreet #c: todd anderson #c: gerard pitts #c: stephen meeks #post: deeply complex modern au

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ivankristic · 1 year ago

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One fine summer day, as I strolled through my neighborhood, I noticed that an era of my life had come to an end. They were tearing apart the very famous Croatian sugar refinery known as 'Tvornica šećera Osijek.'

My hometown was once renowned for its numerous factories, but now, 95% of them are abandoned or demolished. This giant employed countless individuals from both within and outside the town.

Witnessing the abandonment of this factory served as a stark reminder of how, each time the 'season' started in the factory, one could sense that autumn had arrived.

History:

On September 24, 1905, in Osijek, the First Croatian-Slavonian Joint Stock Company for the Sugar Industry was founded. The construction of the sugar factory began immediately after determining its future location on the outskirts of the Lower Town.

The sugar factory started operating in September 1906 with a daily processing capacity of 700 tons of sugar beets. Technologists and staff for the improvement of sugar beet cultivation were brought in from the Czech Republic.

The First World War had an impact on the stagnation of the sugar factory's operations, and its conclusion saw the first reconstruction of the company. In 1925, the daily capacity was increased to 1,000 tons of beets, and by 1930, it reached 1,500 tons.

The outbreak of the Second World War led to a new period of stagnation, and the factory was damaged, especially after the bombing on June 14, 1944. After the war, the sugar factory was nationalized and continued to operate under the name "Tvornica šećera Osijek." The third reconstruction in 1953 brought the average processing of sugar beets close to 2,500 tons per day. The daily sugar processing capacity increased over the years: in 1968, it amounted to 4,500 tons, and by 1974, it reached 7,500 tons. The factory was situated in the Jug II (South II) neighborhood, and the future plans for this property involve constructing new building complexes and parks.

One particularly interesting aspect of the factory was the statue erected in honor of the workers who lost their lives in World War II. The factory decided to raise this monument in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, it seems that hardly anyone remembers what the monument looked like, as it was demolished and most probably sold in the early '90s during the onset of the bloody Balkan war.

According to a newspaper article in 'Glas Slavonije' a few years ago, there were discussions within about this statue:

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This is about a monument depicting four figures, specifically four workers who lost their lives during Allied bombardment. During World War II, the Germans held key factories in their grip, and the workers were obligated to continue their duties.

Some of them tragically perished during bombings, prompting the factory to decide, in 1979, to erect a monument in their honor. Notably, this monument lacked the symbols of the time, such as the five-pointed star or the hammer and sickle, a fact that even drew objections from the authorities of that era. Two fountains adorned its front.

However, during the Croatian War of Independence, someone unfamiliar with the monument's significance decided to remove it. Crafted from bronze, it was dismantled and likely sold. Today, it no longer exists. Yet, the remaining platform could have been repurposed; a memorial plaque bearing the names of the workers from Kandit and Šećerana who perished in the Homeland War could have been installed. It's a shame how this opportunity went to waste."

Glas Slavonije, 2017

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However, despite the intentions, it appears that nothing positive has materialized, and the place seems to be in a state of despair. I remain hopeful for a better future for this location.

Tvornica šećera Osijek | Pentax 6x7 | Kodak Portra 160

If you enjoy my work, you can find me on other platforms:

#croatia #kodak portra 160 #portra 160 #pentax #pentax 67 #film photography #120 film #filmisnotdead #medium format #filmphotography #film #kodak #osijek

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novelmonger · 2 years ago

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Moments That Bring Me Joy: Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace

On a whim, I've decided to go through some of my favorite childhood movies and just list all the moments in them that bring me joy. I'm fully aware that many of the stories I loved as a kid are deeply flawed, but I just want to take some time to appreciate what they did well. Just because I'm focusing on the positive doesn't mean I'm unaware of the negative.

Note: I chose the word "joy" deliberately. Not all of the moments that bring me joy bring me (or the characters) happiness. Scenes involving death or pain might not be very fun or cheerful, but I find joy in a good story well told.

I wanted to start with Star Wars, because that was my life when I was 8/9/10. And what better time of year to begin a nostalgic look back on Star Wars? Don't look now, but this is going to be long, because Episode I is my favorite of the main six. I used to watch this on average once a week, and still have the majority of it memorized ^^'

I love that Obi-Wan's first line in the movie is the famous, "I have a bad feeling about this." (Also, don't ask me how many times I've found reason to quote him: "it's something...elsewhere...elusive.")

"My lord, is that...legal?" "I will make it legal." That's basically Sidious' modus operandi, isn't it?

I love the battle droids' voices. "Roger, roger."

"They are still coming through!" *Force theme swells* I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, Qui-Gon breaking through blast doors with a lightsaber isn't the most impressive or heroic of feats, but that music works on me every time. I always want to cheer ^_^

"You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations were short."

"You assume too much." - A very useful quote that I use frequently, mimicking Nute Gunray's accent for maximum effect.

Padme's royal gown and headdress are kinda weird, but so pretty. I also love her official makeup. I had a doll of her in this outfit, and I thought it was the prettiest thing.

John Williams has made a lot of amazing music for this series, but I think my second-favorite is actually the Trade Federation theme. Weird, right? There's just something about it that gets me so excited - probably because it's most prominent in this movie.

"You almost got us killed. Are you brainless?" "I spake." "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here." - I love Jar-Jar Binks. I know I'm in the tiny minority about that, but I do. He's adorable and I love him.

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way." "If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into tiny pieces, and blast us into oblivion!" - I love this line, and I love Obi-Wan's little smirk to Qui-Gon about it XD

When they go through the bubble membrane into Ota Gunga! So satisfying ^_^

Say what you will about Big Boss Nass, but I love him. The clicking, the jowl-jiggling. "De Naboo tink dey so smarty. Dey tink dey brains so big!"

"Master, what's a bongo?" "A transport, I hope."

Jar-Jar's snail-like eyes bugging out at the gooberfish XD

"There's always a bigger fish."

"You didn't tell him about the missing Jedi." "No need to report that to him until we have something to report." Excellent quoting potential.

That sound the battle droids make when Qui-Gon Force-pushes them away!

The handmaidens' outfits are also gorgeous. Oh, what I would have given at the age of 8 to have a dress with a red-to-yellow gradient like that! <3 (If we'd been a Halloween-celebrating family, I totally would have gone as Padme or Leia three years in a row.)

"Where are you taking them?" "To Coruscant." "Coruscant...uh, that doesn't compute. Uh, wait, uh...you're under arrest!"

R2-D2's moment of heroism, fixing the ship's shields! <3

"Mesa day startin' pitty okey-day wit a brisky mornin' munchin', den boom! Gettin' berry scared, and grabbin' dat Jedi, den pah! Mesa here. Mesa gettin' berry, berry scared!"

You're going to get tired of hearing this, but: Padme's look on Tatooine is so pretty! Especially her hair. Oh, I love her hair!

Jar-Jar vs. the pit droids is always fun.

"Ey, ey! Ya wanna wanga?" Or however it's spelled; do I look like I speak Huttese? XD

I love that Anakin just invites these weird offworlders he's never met before to stay at his home during the sandstorm - and that Shmi doesn't put up any sort of protest, but welcomes them in and feeds them. True hospitality and generosity. Later on, Anakin says to Shmi, "You say the biggest problem in this universe is nobody helps each other." They are the exception to that for sure.

C3-PO and R2D2's meeting is so funny and sweet. And just think of how many years they end up spending together and how many adventures they'll go on!

"You must have Jedi reflexes if you race pods." *snatches Jar-Jar's tongue in the middle of swiping a fruit* "Don't do that again."

"No one can kill a Jedi." "I wish that were so." - FORESHADOWING!!!!! D:

Jar-Jar getting his tongue stuck in the energy binders and going, "My tongue is fat" with his long tongue hanging out of his mouth XD

"IT'S WORKING!!!! IT'S WORKING!!!!"

Just...all of the CG and sound effects of the podrace. It's all so good!!! I'm especially fond of the CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK sound of Sebulba's engines.

That one racer who goes, "Rarrr!" right before blowing up XD

DARTH MAUL DARTH MAUL DARTH MAUL!!!! 8D Definitely the coolest and most intimidating Sith. It definitely helps that he has, like, two lines in the whole movie.

That bemused smile when Obi-Wan and Anakin meet for the first time. They have no idea.... :')

Nute Gunray saying, "Take him away," which sounds more like, "Tuck him away," like the battle droids are going to tuck Sio Bibble in for the night XD

Sunsets on Coruscant are always so gorgeous <3

"You've been a good apprentice, Obi-Wan. And you're a much wiser man than I am. I foresee you will become a great Jedi Knight."

The handmaidens' outfits in the final battle of Naboo are really cool, and I love the hair! I remember trying to figure out how to put my hair up like that when I was a kid.

That secret little smile between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan that means they suspected all along that Padme was the real queen.

"Yousa no tinkin' yousa greater dan da Gungans? Meeeeesa lika dis! Maybe wesa...bein' friends!" And the Gungans throw themselves into the defense of their planet! I just love how the two peoples work together.

"Wipe them out. All of them." - Yet another favorite line to quote.

The whole sequence of the battle droids unloading and then marching on the Gungans is so satisfying. Also, I love the sound effect of the lasers pinging against the shield.

"Red group, blue group! Everybody this way!" - Why was this also a favorite line for my brother and me???

DUEL OF THE FATES YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! 8D Absolutely the best lightsaber fight in the entire franchise. All three of them look so cool, the whole fight is interesting and keeps you on the edge of your seat, you never feel like any of them are just hanging back and waiting for their turn, and that music! That's my favorite track across all the soundtracks for sure.

Jar-Jar getting his foot caught in the wiring of a battle droid and accidentally shooting a whole bunch that way is the best thing ever XD

I couldn't say why, but I've always found it really satisfying to watch Padme's team use their ascension guns to rappel up the side of the palace.

Jar-Jar's overall clumsiness on the battlefield just decimating the battle droid troops is so vindicating for his character ^_^

The way Obi-Wan and Darth Maul's fighting is just so fast after Qui-Gon gets cut down o_o

Qui-Gon's final moments. The way he makes Obi-Wan promise to train Anakin, his final legacy. The way he reaches up one finger to brush against Obi-Wan's cheek. The way Obi-Wan clutches him and presses their foreheads together.... T^T

Qui-Gon's funeral. I don't know, I just really like that the Jedi Council is there, as well as Big Boss Nass, Padme, and even the Chancellor. Qui-Gon deserves that amount of respect.

The final celebration is so full of joy! And of course, Padme looks absolutely gorgeous ^_^

#moments that bring me joy #star wars #star wars episode i #star wars episode i: the phantom menace #star wars tpm #phantom menace

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survivingcollegeonefanficatatime · 7 months ago

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biology 2

star wars, just as eddited as the last one (it's not) although I spelt Ahsoka's name rigt more often than before

After the first impromptu lecture, Ahsoka made plans for the event to be a regular thing. She’d passed her first exam, not exactly with flying colors, but with a wide enough margen she was sitting happily above class average. The entire 501st was ecstatic at the news and practically demanded to be a part of Ahsoka’s next ‘I forgot there was a test coming up and I need to study RIGHT NOW’ binge. The little Togruta had flushed in embarrassment, and tried to explain that she’d definitely host more of these events after each lecture rather than waiting until the last minute to go over everything at once…. Except…. She forgot. In her defense there was at least one battle and a minor mision she’d participated in after clases but that didn’t really change the fact that it was, yet again, the day before the exam, and Ahsoka was in a panic. So she took over one of the less used rooms on the Resolute and set up shop.

Rex was busy this time, having been claimed by Anakin to go over mission reports (read: write them for Anakin) and Pebble, Jesse, Shadow, and Pattern had been called away to do something or another but that still left Echo, Fives, Kix, Dogma, Hardcase, Suture, Leif, and Wraith behind. Ahsoka took a deep, steady breath, as she looked over the room.

“Unit two is about plants.” she explained “they originally came from protists if you remember them and can be divided into groups just like animals could be. Plants are multicellular, they’re eukaryotic, and are generally photosynthetic, so, in other words they typically eat light in order to get energy.” the clones' attention flicked into place, zeroing in on Ahsoka all at once.

“Phyte means plant, so you’ll probably see that affix show up a lot, and Sterpto means twisted, so the clade sterptophyes means twisted plants. After that is the kingdom Plantae, or land plants, so that means the stretophyes include some ocean plants, that said most ocean plants are not ‘true’ plants. Seagrass is, but uhhh anyways under plantae which are also embryophytes are the vascular plants, tracheophytes, and then the seed plants, spermatophytes, we can divide plants into green algae, bryophytes are nonvascular plants seedless vascular plants, gymnosperms and angiosperms.” Ahsoka took another breath, there was a lot to explain.

“Land plants came from green algae, they started their transition to land a long time ago, over 475 million years ago, like most things on the scale of planetary and biological time, it’s such a long time ago it’s almost impossible to imgen, does anyone know what some common features of land plants are?”

Echo spoke up. “You mentioned photosynthesis? So I assume that’s something they can do” Ahsoka nodded. She waited a few moments and was just about to continue when Kix spoke up.

“Cell walls?”

“Yeah, cellulose cell walls, chlorophyll which is the pigment that is involved with photosynthesis, and common enzymes, they have a common sperm structure and use starch to store carbon. well photosynthesis too but we already mentioned that.” nodes passed around the room “there’s a big difference between water and air, so plants had to compensate, one of the ways they did that was through tissues that came from something called the Apical Meristems which are growing tips. Plants are very diverse, and are often sessile, which means they don’t move a whole lot.”

The padawan szed, she was hardly a few slides in and she already had to get into her least favorite part of the plant section. She wrinkled her nose, why couldn’t plants be easy or at least easy to understand, why did they have to delight in being so strange. She steadied herself and jumped in.

“Plants are, annoyingly weird. They have a life cycle which honestly gives me a headache, but unfortunately, it’s real, and it's going to be on my exam so…. Plant life cycles. Plants can reproduce sexually, and they alternate between haploid and diploid phases, however both phases are multicellular, so basically an entire portion of their life, and this is called the ‘alternation of generations’ which is a headache and a half to deal with.” The men smiled, a few huffed breathless laughs. Ahsoka wished it was as amusing to her as it was to her men. She used the force to flick on a holo projector, a different kind than the one she used last time, and pulled her stylus out. With a gesture the projector forms lines around where she draws. A circle appears in the air.

“Alright, the alternation of generations is going to get a lot more complicated but let’s start with something simple.” Ahsoka writes ‘gametophyte’ at the top of the circle, and ‘sporophyte’ at the bottom. She takes a breath and starts filling in steps, mitosis after gametophyte, then fertilization, mitosis again, the sporophyte and a longer gap to meiosis before mitosis hits and the circle completes with gametophyte. To finish the circle off Ahsoka draws a horizontal line though the middle, between fertilization on one side, and meiosis on the other, on the top, towards gametophyte she writes ‘haploid’ and on the bottom ‘diploid’

“We’re going to start with this mitosis' ' she points towards the word that directly follows ‘gametophyte’ and it lights up as she tapps the stylus to it. “O wait, uh first, Gametophyte is the word for the haploid multicellular part and sporophyte is the diploid multicellular part. A good way to remember that is that the Sporophyte is the Diploid generation, there’s this holo-vid franchise Master Obi-Wan likes, and his favorite sub-series in the franchise is called Digital Space nine or DS9, so DS--diploid sporophyte.” Ahsoka huffed out a breathless laugh, it was a stupid way to remember but it worked well, Anakin had never been all that much of a fan of ‘digital voyage’ he was much more interested in the more action focused ‘distant conflict’ but Ahsoka liked both, and if using Obi-Wan’s interest in media with a heavy dose of political drama helped her pass her exam then she’d use it.

The togruta blinked and continued “Anyways, uh mitosis, the gametophyte made a haploid gametes via mitosis oh and haploid cells cannot undergo meiosis because meiosis is the process of a diploid cell splitting into haploid cells and you can’t do that without a diploid cell. Anyways, after the gametophyte makes haploid gametes the gametes fuse to make a zygote” Ahsoka moves her pen to highlight ‘fertilization’ then slowly moves her pen to the next ‘mitosis’ as she speaks “this zygote develops into a diploid Sporophyte” she traces the circle, passing over the sporophyte as it’s more the product of something than a step in and of itself. The next word highlighted is meiosis “the sporophyte which has made haploid spores can undergo meiosis which transitions the plant from diploid to haploid, or at least leads to it, because the final step has spores germinating and dividing to make the haploid gametophyte”

“That seems complicated” Leif huffs Ahsoka and can't help but nodd, and it will only get worse as they pass through the lecture. She’s already dreading angiosperms.

“Despite its seeming complexity we can compare this to the reproductive cycle of naboo's native sapients. which do technically have a haploid stage, but the main difference here is that the plant generation is multicellular and also more confusing.” the little jedi paused for a moment, she basked in the amusement that flickered through the small crowd.

“Sperm and eggs are unicellular, so despite being haploid they’re not like plants. It’s also worth pointing out that where gametophytes--the haploid generation--reproduce sexually, sporophyes--which are diploid--repoduce axesually. That may also be confusing considering they're both sorta involved in sexual reproduction but…. That’s just how plants are.” Ahsoka waved her stylus dismissing her little doodle, she tapped it against the datapad that rested on her arm, and flicked upwards, transferring the diagram from her notes to the air in front of her.

“Over time, or rather, with evolution the gametophyte--haploid--generation has become more prominent, conversely the diploid, or sporophyte generation has gotten less prominent. This means that bryophytes have a large gametophyte generation and a much smaller sporophyte generation. Vascular seedless plants have a larger sporophyte generation, and smaller gametophyte generation, and angiosperms have even smaller gametophyte generations.” she gestured to her diagram, highlighting the generations in different colors, it demonstrated the way the gametophyte generation got smaller over time.

“Plants, as I mentioned had to overcome some challenges when coming to land. Start thinking about what those challenges might be, we’ll go over an official list later but for now I just want you to come up with a few on your own.” She paused for a few beats “one of the ways plants had to adapt was the creation of sporopollenin, which is a resistant polymer that protects spores and pollen, this helps them prevent drying and decay. On land plants need to survive in a way that means they won’t dry out. Creating spores is one way they do that. There are special structures, called sporangia, that help plants make, protect and send spores out. This is important for land plants. Te gametangia do the same but for gametes. This makes it fairly easy to remember, spores come from sporangia, gametes come from gametangia. The gametangia are one of the key adaptations of land plants, as I mentioned they help prevent the plant from drying out. There are also the antheridia which are haploid and produce sperm, and the archegonia which are also haploid and produce eggs. Young plants also come in embryos, that are inside a protective structure, if you remember the land plants were also called embryophytes, this is why, green algae don’t have embroeos but alnd plants do. Individuals that are larger diploids produce more spores, this is why a lot of plants have chosen to grow up.”

“There are nine phyla of land plants. The first three are bryophytes which are nonvascular plants, these are liverworts, mosses and hornworts. Seedless vascular plants have lycophytes, and pteridophytes, then the gymnosperms have cycads, ginkgos and conifers, finally the angiosperms just have angiosperms. I’m going to go over all these phylums so we can learn a little more about them. The bryophytes could be a clade, anyone remember what clade means?”

“It’s a group that includes a common ancestor and all its descendants right?” Wraith asked, Ahsoka nodded.

“So bryophytes might be a clade, they’ve got mosses, liverworts, and hornworts which are all monophyletic phylums, which means?”

“A group with only one phylum, which is similar to a clade but not quite” Dogma added.

“That’s right! All three bryophytes grow in damp environments and are nonvascular, they don’t have roots and they don’t produce seeds. They’re very early on the timeline of plants, and they’re gametophyte or haploid dominant, if you remember simple plants are more often gametophyte dominant. And they also introduce us to our second plant life cycle chart!” Ahsoka cimed with mock enthuseasum, her men groaned, already starting to see the pattern. “Don’t worry, this one’s more complicated!” The smile on her lips did nothing to prevent the glare that Gives leveled her with.

Once again Ahsoka took her stylus and held it to the air. After a second she decided to fill this one in as she went. First she drew a tallish structure, and labeled it as the gametophyte, the top of which was the gametangia ``this will split into two paths, one of the archegonia, and one to the antheridia, what were those again?”

Leif perked up “the archegonia is where eggs are produced, it's the female part of the plant, and the antheridium is where sperm is produced, it’s the male part of the plant!”

“Perfect!” Ahsoka doodled with little structures, then drew them slightly larger and indicated that the two plant parts were in water. “In bryophytes water is necessary for sexual reproduction, this is because the water helps the sperm flow from the antheridium to the archegonium so federalization can take place.” she drew an arrow from the doodle and labeled it ‘ferelization’ she then drew the archegonium again, only this time, instead of drawing a little ball for the egg, she drew it with the opening closed, and a bundle of cells that were slightly larger than the egg had been in its place. “This is where the diploid or sporophyte generation starts. And in mosses theory grow a sporangium, to house spores right from the archegonium, it rises up in stalks” she drew the sporophyte form of the moss, then an arrow from it, and wrote meiosis, before drawing the sporangium opens with little dots escaping it, she labeled these ungerminated spores. Then she drew a few sketches in quick succession, between each arrows were drawn. From the ungerminated spores to a germinating spore to a bid placed on a protonema and a rhizoid, to that bud growing larger and then the circle completed back at the gametangia. “As you can see the haploid or gametophyte generation is larger, with the diploid stage only taking up a single step. You can also see that the steps are quite similar to the previous example, only there’s a bit more going on.” several men were squinting at her doodle, a small line of frustration or confusion clear on their faces.

“Clear as mud, Sir.” Hardcase huffed, causing Ahsoka to snort.

“That’s about how I felt about it” the togruta admitted, unfortunately my exam is coming up and I need to at least attempt to understand this mess, so moving on to vascular plants, horsetails and ferns, or lycophytes and pteridophytes” Echo held his hand up.

“Yes?”

“Does Not pterid just mean fern?”

“Huh yeah I guess it does, so that makes it easy enough to keep track of this one . These were the earliest plants to process stems, roots , leaves and a vascular system. They had to use lignified cells to gather straight to fight against gravity. The vascular tissue system has xylem which carries water. These cells are dead at maturity and will form sort of… empty tube like structures, then there’s the phloem which is alive at maturity and transports carbohydrates and other such neuterants. To be honest it’s not so much that the phloem is alive that the companion cells are but it’s still alive enough to count. There are consequences to having a more structured and strengthened vascular system, anyone got any ideas as to what they may be?”

“They can get bigger? If they've got more strength then they’ll probably grow larger, and you said that larger plants can send their spores farther.” Dogma phrased his words like a question.

“Yeah, they can get bigger, in some dryer environments especially, in peat bogs you may not need to have such massive plants because the water is closer to the ground, this will leave them mostly as grasses but in some larger forests you can maintain stable water content and get very big. Vascular plants also maintain stable internal water content because they have a waxy cuticle and stomata, the cuticle is a coating outside the cell that limits water loss, and the stomata is a closable opening that regulates water loss and gas exchange. Lycophytes and prediophyes are diploid or sporphyte dominent” Ahsoka took a deep breath, how she was still in the first lecture was beyond her, but she still had so much to cover. She swore it didn't take quite so long to cover everything the first time around, but then again, she understood the first unit more than she understood the second one. Growing a little frustrated she let emotions over her, and jumped back into her lecture.

“After vascular systems seeds showed up, these appeared in gymnosperms, which just means naked seed, because the seeds are uncovered. In this case the seeds protect the embryos and have chemicals that help plants grow and develop. In this case gymnosperms include cycads, ginkgos and gnetophytes and conifers, which lack flowers, fruits, and endosperms. In these plants the eggs and sperm are usually contained in cones, with te male cones being much smaller than the female cones. After that we have angiosperms which are covered seeds or seeds within vessels, they’re flowering plants. They’ve replaced gymnosperms as thedomente plants on Naboo. They make flowers fruits and endosperm they also have wood ovules seeds and pollen. As well as xylem and phloem. If we go back to gymnosperms there are a few of them, cycads which are the oldest phylum and are endangered, like a lot of species on Naboo. The planet as a whole is facing a mass extinction event, and current top scientists are working to help them prevent it from worsening. Regardless, the second group is the Ginkgo which only really remains as the ginkgo biloba, it's almost extinct in the wild and is often used for decoration. They can live for over a thousand years but every modern one was grown in captivity. Conifers are easy to remember because they’re named for their seed cones, and modern conifer families have more than 50 genera, they often appear in cold and dry climates, and are commonly referred to as pine trees, they’ve got needle leaves and are often evergreen. These are going to be our next life cycle!”

“Let me guess?” Fives called “it’s even more complicated than the last one?”

“So you’ve noticed the trend huh?” Ahsoka asked

“Unfortunately It was fairly clear from the start that this was only going to get more confusing.” Kix admonished. The padawan nodded and groaned, she quickly realized she hadn’t waved away her last chart and tapped it away. Then she looked down at the datapad in her arm, she had no idea who she was supposed to transfer the mess of a chart in her notes to something she could explain. If she was being honest it was so busy she struggled to read it in places. Still that didn’t change the fact that, fundamentally, it held the same steps as the others, so she took a deep breath and held her stylus to the air. “Sporophyes produce ovule cones and pollen cones” Asoka explained as she doodled a conofer, she wrote mature spophye next to it, then drew two arrows one to the ovule cone and one to the pollen cone, “this is where the paths split, in ovule cones emaspores are made by meiosis within the megasprangia, in pollen cones microspres are produced by meiosis within the microsprangia” she drew the larger cone and labled it, then followed the ovole cone, following the path by drawing a megaspora dn megasoprangim with scales, she proceed to draw an egg, and spoke “in ovoule cones megaspore onder go mitosis and produce female gamaphotes these have eggs and are in the achregnonia, the entire structure includes the oter integers and each of the cones has two ovoles” she labled the drawing with the intergument the female gametophye, the megasporangium and the archegnonium, then she drew a diagram of the polen grain entering the ovule “pollen grains are dispersed into the wild and will encounter ovules” from there the last drawing on the ovole path was a male gretophtye, she then returned to the pollen cone, and traced it’s path, staring with mitosis “in pollen comes micorpsores undergomitosis develop into pollen grains which are young male gemotphyes” she then drew the pollen grains that would fly away form the microsprangium, te two arrows met back up under the label of ferterlization, “the pollen tube delivers sperm to eggs where fertalization occures, only one egg per ocule is fertalized” she wrote mitosis next, and continue d”the zygote produces and embryo in a seed, amtrue seeds are then dispersed” the embryo was abled 2n, and finally Ahoka drew a scale, withcontained seeds “seeds germinate and embroidery sporophytes grow into seedlings” the last thing she drew was a seedling. The togruta huffed and moved on.

“Conifers also include gentiles, a gentum, and ephedra, they also include welwitschia which only has one living species and angiosperms have flowers.” she grinned as she waved away the image on the projector, and shifted it to images of flowers she gestured to a ball-looking plant that was made up of a collection of flowers

“An inflorescence is a group of flowers! And umble is one pod of a group of flowers, there are also flowers that look like they’re only one flower but in reality they have ray flowers at the edges and disk flowers inside” she waved towards the image of a red flower with the center surrounded by little yellow blooms'' her smile was genuine she loved the way those flowers looks

“Flowers have a bunch of parts” she explained and gestured to the flower diagram “the stamen contains the male parts of the flower and contains the anther and filament, the pistil contains the female part and has the stigma style and ovary, then there’s the perianth, which ahs the petal and sepal” Ahsoka waved away her diagram and continued “carpels are also what bear the female megasporangia, although Pistil is also sometimes used but I think the pistil is more spsuficalc. And carpels is just the general term. Statements don’t have a more general term, a perfect flower has both megasporangia and microsporangia, so male parts and female parts.”

“Like--” someone called and was instantly cut off by noise

“We’re talking about plants right now” Ahsoka emphasized with a roll of her eyes. “Plants which are monoecious have both male and female flowers on the same plant, mono-one so one plant, whereas diecious have male and female flowers that are on different plants, a monoecious plant can be perfect or imperfect but a dioecious plant cannot be perfect. Plants also go through something called double fertilization, this basically means that a male gametophyte will end up fusing with two cells both the egg and gametophyte nuclei” Ahsoka huffed she could have made another plant life cycle chart but this one was fairly simple and she was tired.

“There are two main types of angiosperms, monocots and dicots which will be referred to as dicots, I’m not sure why they have two names but they do. Anyways here’s some difference, the monocots have onle ctyledon and includes grassees cattails lilies orcheds and palms, whereas the dicots have two cotyledons and are most species of seed plants, or at least the familiar ones.'' The padawan took a breath, and wrapped up the first lesson.

“Flowers have a lot of variation, monocots and dicots are included in this, dicots often have organs in sets of 4 or fives, whereas monocots often have flower organs in mutables of fress. There are variations of shape because of this and flowers can have radial or bilateral symmetry, like like animals could plants also have their own life cycle diagram we have to cover” and the room groaned, Ahoska couldn't help but huff in amusement, at least her mene didn’t need to take an exam about it tomorrow she was getting increasingly nervous about the whole office.

“It’s similar enough” she said waving her stylish, she drew a circle and labeled the top diploid and the bottom half lid. “If you remember, angiosperms are sporophyte dominant. So the diploid stage is bigger” she explained as she drew a little flower at the top, she labeled the ovary ovule and anther, then drew the male sporangia much larger, and drew a microsporocyte common from it, she also drew the megasporocyte much larger next to it. “The sporangia surround the gametes, and after meiosis there are 4 microspores” she drew this and then drew the pollen grain landing on the gametophyte, she made a little wiggle down from the plen grain and reaching towards the egg “they make a spleen tube so the sperm can travel from the pollen to the egg” she drew this and then traced an arrow away from it and wrote double fertilization “double fertilization is when thee ends up with an endosperm nucleus and a zygote this then develops into a seed and seedling and back around it goes.” she was scared, and continued.

“In meiosis there end up being 4 haploid megaspores, which make 3 megaspores degenerate and leave one megaspore behind, it undergoes mitosis three times and ends up with 8 haploid cells, then two dissolve and we geta 7 celled female gametophyte” the men huffed at her, confused but said nothing. She moved on to seeds ``dicots seeds often have an epicotyl which is a portion of the embryonic stem, seeds can become dormant and dry, but they do need water to sprout. Monocot and dicot seeds are different. Monocot seeds have an epicotyl within a first bud, they’ll typically shoot up straight from the seed. Fruits are basically ovaries that form around the seeds, although sometimes they come from other portions, they’re designed to help with seed dispersal, to attract animals or some other such thing.” the second chapter had gone much faster than the first so Ahoka smiled as she wrapped it up “plants can also have asexual reproduction, some roots stems and leave can function as reproductive structures, and somatic embryos can develop at the edges of plants, that’s not to emotion apomixis which is where fruits and seeds are produced in the absence of fertilization. Once again Ahoska took a breath and moved on, there was more to deal with flowers.

“Here’s some of the differences between monocots and dicots, the embryos of monocots have one cotyledon, they have scattered vascular tissues in their stems and their leaf veins are usually parallel, they’ve got fibrous roots and have floral organs in sets of threes. Whereas dicots have cotyledons, vascular tires in a concentric circle, veins that form a network, a taproot and flowers in multiples of four or five organs.” she yawned despite herself, and moved right along “plants have distinctive architecture, they have a shoot system which are the leaves and stems and also a root system.”

“Let me guess, that contains the roots?” Fives snarked

“Yeah, got an idea of what the roots do?”

“They help the plant get water and nutrients?” Echo offered

“They act as stabilizers?” Wraith asked.

“Yes to both they also store the products of photosynthesis and increase surface area. Primary growth is lengthening of shoots and roots whereas secondary growth comes later and is an increase in thickness.”

“There are also different types of tissues in plants, there’s the parenchyma which are the most abundant and have thin cell walls, they can photosynthesise the collenchyma which have thick cell walls and provide support then there’s sclerenchyma which have thick cell wall reinforced with lignin. We already covered the xylem and the phlegm so I’m not going over that again. Going back to the monocot vs dicot dichotomy we can see that monocot stems have vascular bundles that kinda look like little faces, and their roots are kinda circular whereas the stem from dicots form a lateral ting and look more like ovals whereas their roots form a distinctive x shape roots have a pith xylem phloem a previccle endodomers a cortex and epidermis, although a monocot root salsa has a stele” she sighed

“We’re moving on to angiosperm nutrition, remember angiosperm means covered seeds so it’s stuff that has its seeds covered, this is the group that includes flowers. Now plants, well most of them, are autotrophs. They have limiting factors, light for energy, carbon fixing from the atmosphere, hydrogen and oxygen from water, nitrogen from the soil well from the bacteria and fungi and also phosphorus and other such mineral nutrients. That said, not every plant is an autotroph, there are some parasitic plants, which I think are pretty neat. Ahsoka flicked her wrist and prompted the projector to display a list “here’s some essential elements that plants need, they can be divided into macronutrients and micronutrients, which means the plants need at least one g per kg of dry plant mass. These include carbon which is a component of all organic columles, and oxygen which is also a component of organic molecules, and hydrogen, they also need nitgorgen while we’r ein the acronym they also need phosphorus and sulfur, if you remember the acronym CHNOPS carbon hydrogen nitrogen oxygen phosphorus sulfur then you remember that living things need CHNOPS, although plants also need potassium which is important in iconic ballance, calcium which is a component of cell walls and magnesium which is a part of chlorophyll. Plants also need micronutrients less than .1 g per kg, these include chlorine ironmagnesese boron zinc sodium and copper, fertilizer can provide these nutrients but you don’t want to add too much or it may result in blooms'' with a Sigh Ahsoka continued “soil is important for growing plants, they have a lot of comprent, living things like plant roots bacteria and such and nonliving things like rock fragments, it’s important to understand the difference in types of soil they have sand which is the largest piece, silt which is smaller and clay which is the smallest, it also has bacteria, fungi, roots and root hairs, and air and water. If the soil is too thick with water plants can die. Soil with organic matter is called humus, and humus which is a good food sources, there are also types of sil, sandy soil which is proosu and allows air and water, silty clay souls which retain more water and minerals and loam soils which combine the aeration benefits of sand with the water and iron retention of silty clay soils, soils are also a part of nitrogen fixation because mycorrhizae is a fungus that grows on the roots of plants and helps the plant get nutrients, there’s also nitrogen fixing nodules which are bacteria in a symbiotic relationship with plant roots. Nitrogen must be fixated, going from atmospheric nitrogen to NH4+ or ammonium, then from that to NO2 and then NO3 then from there to organic nitrogen and then to ammonia and then NO3 back to atmospheric nitrogen, this process has steps called Nitrogen fixation nitrification assimilation ammonification and denitrification. Nitrogen fixing nodules are bacteria this is because bacteria is the thing that can fix nitrogen.” Ahsoka scrolled on her datapad for a few moments before she continued

“We also need to cover diffusion, osmosis is diffusion but with water, there’s also facilitated diffusion that flows through a specific transport protein path and then active transport that requires energy. Secondary active transport requires energy in the first step but not in the second. There’s also three tissue level transport forms, the first is transmembrane, the second is symplastic which is like using the slow lane and then apoplastic which is much faster plants use bulk flow to transport water, bulk flow occurs using negative pressure and this is called the cohesion tension theory this is kind of like a straw, when water evaporates it creates a negative pressure and sucks more water up into its place, this is happening nearly constantly and allows the plant to transport water through its body with extreme efficacy. There are three factors to this, transportation cohesion and tension. Blue light is absorbed by a guard cell and activates H atpase, which then pumps protons and K and CL enter guard cells, then water enters by osmosis and increases turgor pressure which opens the stomata, so during the day water is transferred much faster. Some plants have adapted to drop all their leaves when water is unavailable so they can preserve water and not let it evaporate too fast. This can also happen seasonally in a process called leaf abscission.”

Finally she was onto the last lecture. This whole thing had been exhausting, and although there wasn’t nearly as much content as there was last time, it was still so much to cover.

“Plants have behavior” the little jedi announced “they can respond to changes, environmental cues like day lengths, they use receptors to sense environmental cues, and hormones for chemical signals, some of the plant behaviors include shoots growing towards the light or roots growing towards gravity, seed germination, seasonal flower production or protective responses cell communication happens by receptor activation, signal transduction and then cellular response. We also need to go over a list of hormones and what they all do.” with a breath Ahsoka pulled up her list “Auxins establish optical basal polarity, they’re often called a control hormone because they encourage a lot of stuff, they promote formation or doors and himiti leaf and fruit drop, they also help with fruit development, cytokines promote cell division and inference cells cephalization, gibberellins stimulate cell decision, and stem elongation and flowering, ethylene is the reason fruit goes bad so fast, it promotes seedling growth induces fruit ripening and plays a role in leaf and petal aging, abscisic acid slows or stops metabolism during stress it also induces bud and see dormancy and prevents germination in unfavorable condition brassinosteroids promote cell expansion”

“The effects of auxins can make plants bigger or taller, they can also help with phototropism, and gravitropism, so in other words movement, although auxins can inhibit cell elongation. In a curve the cells that elongate are on the outward edge. Cytokines are a part of cell division and they increase cttokensisis which is an important factor. Gibberellins are similar to dioxins but they also promote fruit growth and seed germination. Gibberellins are sprayed on fruits to get more product out of them. Ethylene is a gas and it promotes ripening, it’s how some fruit ripens and goes bad so fast. It also is involved in a positive feedback loop so the release of some amount of ethylene encourages more ethylene, ABA or abscicic ascid stops plant botabalsisum and bratheostariods induce vacule water intake and foster cell expansion.”

“Seeds can germinate in the presence of light, Pr absorbs red light and Pfr absorbs far-red light, if the sun is out then there’s plenty of red light and Pr switches to Pfr so the plant can germinate, in the presence of far red light the reverse happens plants can also respond to touch and curl up in a really cool way, plants are also chemical weapons, and they defend against predators by releasing a volatile chemical which then prompts the rest of the plants to produce the volatile chemical” Ahsoka paused for a moment, remembering the anecdote her professor had told her “scientists found this out during an experiment where they decided to simulate predation by getting a bunch of plants and whacking a few with a broom, or at least that’s the story I was told.'' There was laughter in the room, and the padawan took a breath before continuing. “There’s also ways for plants to defend against pathogens, plant pathogens produce compounds known as elicitors which promote infection they can feel these chemicals through the use of receptors, and then they can use mRNAs to destroy the nucleic acids and well as chemical defenses, these things can change things like strengthening plant cell walls, programed cell death or producing a compound that will kill the pathogen. A hypersensitive response is a local reaction to a pathogen attack that’s supposed to limit the progression of the disease, they can kill pathogens or stimulate the synthesis of chemicals, or induced programed cell death, killing sections to stage out the pathogen and protect the rest of the plant a systematic acquired resistance is an immune response of the WHOLE plant.” with a smile Ahsoka realized that she’d reached the last of her slides, and slumped in releaf.

“That’s all for now, with any luck I’ll pass this exam!” she chimed.

#college #study fic #wiring

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autumnalreverieblog · 9 months ago

Text

The Human Experience

I wrote in my diary once that I almost wish someone would read it without my knowledge. It seems obsolete to put all this work into recording my thoughts, hopes, etc only for it to decay once I'm gone.

Yet, because I've obviously put private and embarrassing things in there, if I knew that someone read it, I wouldn't be able to face them again.

But there is still a part of me that hopes someone has read it, or that they will one day. I have this theory that, if people can know and understand another's motivations, reasons, past experiences, then they understand the person better (duh). There would be less arguments, less fights, less miscommunication. In the minor situations I mean, I don't apply this to how wars begin or anything.

I grew up in a family with a lot of fighting and arguments. I'm not sure how much more compared to the average experience, but I'm quite confident it was too much. We fought because one sister bothered the other. We fought mum because we didn't want to go to school. We fought our stepdad because we were bored, or because we felt wronged in some way. Many, if not most, of our fights were parents' vs children because of housework, or the lack of help with it. I had meltdowns because I felt mum didn't want to spend time with me, which hurt on a deep level.

There is no shortage of the things we've fought about, and no way to know what the longest time we went without an argument to some degree is. If I had to guess, maybe 10 days. 14 at most, being generous. We fought about very minor things, and no less often about things that matter.

There were a lot of emotions involved. I am an emotional person; I feel everything to the nth degree. Maybe this is why I feel that the chaos of all the fighting I grew up in has left such a mark on me now. The harsh words, the cruel tones, the faces pulled, can cause such a physical feeling of distress, fight or flight, pure rage, heartache, that I physically don't know how to control myself. I would scream, cry, speak heinous and cruel words, self-harm, to try to alleviate my emotional pain.

On a scale of depression, neutral and manic, I could go from neutral to manic in record speed.

The same applies to positive emotions also. My joys, my happiest highs, excitements, can feel supernatural too. When I was younger and looking forward to something, say an upcoming holiday or Christmas, I took myself for sprints until I was puffed and could run no more. Even afterwards I was still buzzing, only feeling less like I would combust from all the exhilaration in my body.

It's probably the closest to being high on drugs I can imagine. Now I have the same feeling when I'm out running, listening to the perfect speedy heavy metal song and totally happy with my life. Pure, unblemished ecstasy powering me to run long and fast.

So much emotion, to such an extent that it feels like it takes over. Am I an emotionally driven person? Likely.

I suppose there's the benefits and drawbacks to that. I certainly must take responsibility for my downright wickedness in moments of anger. However I love that I can feel so overcome by happiness sometimes that I can run for days on that adreniline high.

I made up some totally stupid (read: unscientific) scale to measure this when I was chatting with my sister a few nights ago; the aforementioned depressed, neutral and manic scale. If I am naturally inclined to some degree of mania, my guess is that she is drawn to depression.

I cannot tell you if this is natural for her or if she's been conditioned to it. I admittedly was the star of the show between us. My emotions came first. I had to be kept neutral otherwise my parents would have to help this out of control, upset kid. I wonder if even now I still think I should come first partly due to this reason? I say this to my own shame.

If I was the main character, my quiet and unobtrusive sister would be the supporting role. The easy to ignore, reliable one. She's grown up to be independent and self-reliant. I can list how this is both helpful and harmful for her.

So whether by nature or nurture, she falls on the depressed side of the scale. Depressed, not meaning a state of sadness but rather numbness. A more muted sense of feelings. A quieter joy. A brewing anger, not an instant rage.

While I embrace the help of others and readily share all aspects of my life with them, she keeps to herself.

While that bothers me sometimes (though it shouldn't), it also makes her all the more interesting to me. Such lack of output makes me want to know what is going on. What are her motivations, reasons, past experiences shaping the way she thinks?

She intrigues me this way, but not as much as mum does. I don't know my life without my sister, so though I have gaps in my knowledge, given our close relationship and shared upbringing, I can deductively reason and guess what I don't know.

Mum had a whole life full of experiences prior to my being able to comprehend the world around me. What did she do before me? What was the order of events? Why did you work there, how did you meet him, what did you think about this? What has shaped your way of thinking? I have the longest list of things I want to know about the person who raised me and has shown me more unconditional love than anyone. Yet for whatever reason, she mostly has shut her past life and important opinions off to questions. I hope I can learn all this one day.

Do I say all this to conclude that those who keep quiet are more interesting people? By no means. I know I'm an interesting person, especially when I think about the things I did in the first years of my twenties. People would eat. that. up.

I work with someone who seemingly needs to keep talking just to stay alive. I think she's awesome, and though I know so much already, I am dead certain that she's only scratched the surface of things to say. There's heaps to know.

I read a quote the other day,

"A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.'

-Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

Any person you talk to can tell you about their life and inner thoughts and I guarantee you will not be bored. Even a child will say something that is interesting and different to every other person.

Biographies are popular because we enjoy reading about the human experience. Often it is only the extraordinary stories that make it into bestselling books, however I strongly believe that if a writer were to interview any random off the street, that person's life story would enthral you. We are most interesting to each other.

So having said all this, if only we knew more about one other! After so many of the arguments and fights I grew up with, especially those caused by miscommunication or misunderstanding, I remember lamenting that no one understood. If only I knew that my mother's distress about the undone dishes stemmed from her anxiety of being a failure. If only my sister would've realised the reason I wanted her to join me in an activity was so we could have a timeless memory together, she would choose than over routine YouTube viewing.

I've written mostly in terms of my experience as a child. As an adult now, things are better. I can interpret people's body language for clues to their reasoning. I have experience behind me, and I know my loved ones more.

Yet so much remains a mystery. I understand why we keep so much to ourselves. Sharing is vulnerable. That's why I won't be handing anyone my diary or Tumblr link any time soon. But should they stumble upon it, be curious and have a read, they'll understand me that bit more. Isn't that what we all crave, to be understood? To know more about those we share our lives with? So, this is my permission to read my diary. Just don't tell me.

#humanexperiance #myopinion #life #musings #stories #blog #hobby #diary

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