#staloncy headcanon

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

Nancy Wheeler loves Cardi B Headcanon

Okay so modern Nancy loves Cardi B. Do not take this away from me! I’ve never been more serious lol. So I Do- is her favorite song. HER FAVORITE SONG BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS.

so let’s talk about Nancy with her little curly short hair half up half down, gold hoop earrings that are a bit too big for her mothers liking, lashes dark with mascara, blue eyes wide, champagne highlight on otherwise care skin because her skin is perfect of course, and deep red lipstick, and long marble fake nails, blasting music as she pulls up in her Ford Escape to pick up the kids from school (because why ever the fuck she needs to)

And Max slides in the front seat because Nancy is her favorite, and the rest of the kids all smush in the back (El on Mikes lap of course), they’re all going to the Byers anyway, Nancy to pick up Jonathan and meet Kali and Steve at his house, and the kids will be at the house chilling or whatever- the point is, Nancy’s radio is up at full volume like it always is, and Mike is fucking scandalized as his sister sings, “Pussy so good I say my own name during sex” ALOUD IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS AND SCHOOL AND HE SHOOTS UP TO REACH FOR THE RADIO and Nancy smacks his hand away and Max says,

“Oh I think I like this,”

And Nancy says,

“What Mike, it’s true”

TO WHICH DUSTIN BUSTS OUT LAUGHING AND MIKE JUST FLUSHES RED THE WHOLE TIME.

Some of Nancy’s favorite lines:

“Pussy so good I say my own name during sex”

“broke hoes do what they can, Good girls do what they told,Bad bitches do what they want”

“Only real shit comes out my mouth and only real niggas go in it”

“If they can't make you richer, they can't make you cum”

Obviously she doesn’t say the N word.. no one does because they’re not black and I ain’t got time

BUT Max is like damn bitch I’m

Empowered this is why I love Nancy and Nancy is like low key this makes me wanna break up with the boys, like men are garbage except of course she won’t.

AND the first time Jonathan hears it he’s like “damn like cardi is a savage, Nancy you’re a savage” and Steve is like “true” to the pussy so good I say my own name during sex thing and Kali says “true” at the same time and they high five and Nancy pops her gum and laughs and Jonathan reaches over and pokes her thigh,

“I know I can’t make you rich, but I can still make you come right?”

And Nancy busts out laughing and kisses him at the next red light smearing red lipstick all over his mouth

Also Nancy drives, Jonathan rides in front and Steve and Kali always sit in back fucking around and doing the most.

[jonathanssweatercollection]

lockscreen – stonathan drabble

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers (minor Nancy Wheeler/Kali Prasad)

Writer: Twilight-Byers

Curiosity, of course, got the better of him. It was just an innocent look, truly. Jonathan peeked over his shoulder and that was all it was supposed to be. He was going to ask: ‘Hey, what’re you reading?’ or something of such equivalent. He did a double take after the peeking, utterly confused. Were his glasses dirty? Was he just daydreaming? Were the fluorescents fogging his vision?

Yes, his glasses were always dirty. He wouldn’t no if he was daydreaming; his mind would be busy with the daydreaming. No, the lights were fine – save for the odd flicker here and there.

They were slumped in the hallway beside the door to the STEM club, waiting for Nancy and Kali. They were early, only a few minutes early but it was enough so that Steve felt obligated to sit down against the wall – and Jonathan followed his lead.

The question left his mouth as soon as his eyes registered the image before him. “Is that me?” Steve, startled, jumped and gasped.

“What?” Eyes wide, he squeaked. “Jon, don’t spook me like that! You know how easily scared I get.”

“Jeez, sorry.” His vision directed on the other boy’s phone, screen held against Steve’s bumpy heart. “What was it?”

“Nothing,” Steve lied. “Anakin Skywalker. Jack from Titanic. Some hot white boy who needs to wash his hair. I don’t know.”

“Was it me?”

“Calling yourself hot now, huh?” Steve countered, eyebrows raised teasingly, but the leftover panic was still in his eyes. “I’m not disagreeing, just asking.” He added, with his hands held up.

The pair held each other’s gazes for another seven seconds, before Steve cracked. “Ugh, you weren’t supposed to see that,” he groaned, sticking his tongue out at him childishly. “Try to keep your wandering eyes in check, man.”

“Well, sorry, again.” Jonathan shrugged his shoulders. “I was just curious. Would you let me see?”

Steve deliberated, mouth and nose scrunching together in thought. Fuck, he looks like a cat – Jonathan through, though he held his tongue. “Fine.” The phone passed from one hand to the other’s. The home screen was clicked open and Jonathan looked at the screen.

As it was established, it was him. The image was blurred; probably because Steve had taken it in a secretive stance nearby. Screen Jonathan was dolled up in a tight sweater (Nancy’s, to be sure), snuggled against Steve’s couch, Kali’s slippered feet lounged across his lap, with his reading glasses pushed against his nose with a Dark Tower novel clutched in his hands. The image was taken last Chanukah, a peaceful time for all of them.

“I’m your lockscreen.” Was all he could say, really. “Huh.”

“Yep. Sure are.” Steve’s smile brought his dimples out, only slightly less distinctive because of his staggering blush. “It’s a cute look. Figured that I would be the one to photograph the occasion that time.”

“That’s really cute,” Jonathan commented. “I’ll make a photographer of you yet, Steve. Mark my words.”

“I’ll stick with dog-walking for now, thanks.”

And of course, their flirting was cut short. The interruption, though unwanted at first, quickly became a happy one; Kali was first out of the door – almost falling over the pair of them. Steve’s long legs were sprawled almost all the way to the neighbouring classroom door, while Jonathan’s were crossed.

“Fuck’s sake, Steve!” Kali exclaimed, catching herself on the wall.

“What’s up?” Her girlfriend inquired, two steps behind – as ever. “Ah, of course. Hey, boys!”

“Hi,” Jon greeted, stumbling to his feet. “We wanted to see if y’all wanted to catch a movie, so we came here.” The rush of words came pouring out, with him stammering over a few, hoping that they hadn’t noticed how hot his face felt. “You in?”

“Sounds cool. Detective Pikachu is playing at the Bijuu and Jon gets the employee discount. What about it, Kali?”

“I’d love to, as long as someone doesn’t almost trip me over again.”

Steve and Jonathan shared a look. Then they broke into a string of boyish giggles.

[nancykali]

I need Jonathan being the first to find out Freddie Mercury is bisexual and telling Steve, Nancy, and Kali, and almost tearing up and they all sit down and listen to “Somebody to Love” together on Steve’s record player and it ends in a dog pile on the floor with of course Nancy and Steve being the ones belting out the lyrics while Kali very visibly rolls her eyes but her and Jonathan actually love when Nancy and Steve sing “badly” together, and she and Jonathan exchange glances and know they’re the two happiest, luckiest people in the world

[ao3feed-strangerthings]

In the Air Tonight

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2l2RgKT

by 14winters

A collection of ficlets, meta, and headcanons on Staloncy, or Steve/Kali/Nancy/Jonathan, initially posted to tumblr.

Words: 931, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Jonathan Byers, Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Kali Prasad

Relationships: Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler/Kali Prasad

Additional Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Polyamory

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2l2RgKT

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

Staloncy Cooking Headcanons

Nancy: so Nancy is the most complex truly, because I go back and forth on if she can cook or not. She can cook recipes from Women’s Day magazine and her grandmothers recipe book. She cooks hot dishes and pasta salads, and homemade Christmas cookies and makes the best cup of coffee in the world. She also makes a mean lasagna and Tennessee whiskey cake from scratch. Nancy likes to cook- mostly because she hates doing dishes and she has a few classic meals she’s best at.

Steve’s favorite is her taco pasta, which she often serves with homemade biscuits (you know Karen never taught her any other way)

Jonathan’s favorite is her homemade chocolate cake. Sometimes she makes it for him randomly and surprises him at work. His face turns red and he practically swallows the fork.

Kali’s favorite is her chili, Kali had never had it before but Nancy’s was so good that Kali often ate multiple bowls with cornbread on top.

The only thing is Nancy cooks hella white and hella unseasoned. Jk it doesn’t have to be unseasoned but she only knows traditional white dishes.

Jonathan can COOK. Again he can make hamburger helper taste gourmet, and he loves to make homemade pizzas. Just like in my other Headcanon I believe he used to bake with his grandmother so he can bake. He makes homemade bread, rolls, cake, all to Nancy’s dismay because she’s scared to put on weight. For the first few months of their relationship she picks around his food, until Kali, Steve and Jonathan confront her about her eating habits. She does put on about fifteen pounds but she was so damn skinny in the first place that she truly needed it.

Not only can Jonathan make about anything taste good but he loves cooking. It’s one thing he does well and can take care of people. (Are we sure he’s not Italian and shows his love and care through food?) anyway, so Jonathan is always cooking dinner, and in the morning, since he and Nancy are the earliest risers they share the cups of coffee and pack everyone’s lunches. It’s adorable as fuck.

Nancy’s favorite dish of his is his enchiladas.

Steve’s favorite dish is steak and baked potatoes with his homemade rolls and lots of butter. (Mainly because Steve can’t even START a grill.)

Kali’s favorite dish is his spaghetti and meatballs because he makes them homemade and wtf does he put on them to make them so goddamn good. Plus he always buys the expensive shredded Parmesan to put on top cause they can afford that now and it’s wonderful.

Steve, bless his heart but he can’t do anything. And he’s embarrassed as fuck about it. His dad never even let him make a simple batch of chocolate chip cookies with his mom. So when I say he can’t scramble eggs, he can’t. Once when they were still poor and living paycheck to paycheck, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried after he burnt 6 eggs and they didn’t get paid until the next Friday.

Somehow Nancy snuck in, with her still tired eyes and bed head and kissed his forehead softly and vowed to teach him how to cook. So she does. She mainly does it before Jonathan and Kali are home since they work the latest and Steve is embarrassed. His best meal is breakfast for dinner, and his waffles are always perfectly crisp, and Nancy taught him a trick for less greasy bacon and less dry eggs. Everyone always gives Steve extra compliments because even though he’s never explicitly told anyone but Nancy, they know.

Now Kali adds some color to the mix. Not only is she out here cooking the traditional Indian food but she cooks Mexican and Asian dishes as well. It’s not the other three’s fault they never got out Hawkins but sometimes she feels like if she eats another tuna hotdish she’ll die. So she cooks naan and chicken tikki masala and homemade samosa - always a double

Batch because Steve eats them before the rest of dinner is even done.

She makes the best chicken stir fry around and teaches Jonathan how to wrap the wontons- he least favorite part. Nancy and Steve can manage the egg rolls but the poor boy eats those before dinner is done too.

She also makes the best sweet potato pie in the world because she got the recipe from one of her old

Roommates grandmothers, along with a Mac and cheese and greens recipe. To her absolute shock and delight Nancy begs for greens and sweet potato pie often and Steve asks why the Mac and cheese is so good because he’s white and has never had homemade.

Everyone generally loves cooking so they coordinate each week and then spend about two hours at the grocery store because Steve is truly

A child. And everyone changes their pre planned meal about three times.

[jonathanssweatercollection]

Nancy Wheeler for the headcanon ask! :)

yeet it’s my girl!!

a: she once read carrie and after that she swore never again to read another stephen king book EVER AGAIN because she was so distraught over how depressing most of it was and how it inevitably ended (jon loves horror books and horror comics tho, and steve just likes horror in general so they have debates over movie night (and GOD FORBID they have to babysit the kids while trying to pick a film to watch)

b: she’d sooner eat her own hands than eat any fruit that isn’t an apple, pomegranate or grapes. when steve eats bananas around her she usually gags at least once in his general vicinity (not only bc he’s making deep/thro*ting gestures towards jonathan) bc it smells GROSS and ICKY and WHY IS IT SHAPED LIKE A MUSHY YELLOW DICK

c: she hates being naked. hates having to touch herself in the shower because it just feels wrong and weird since she started getting older, looking at herself and seeing something that she wished she wasn’t (too angular, too crooked in all the wrong places and stick-thin) and she’d always get jittery and warm all over (no, not in the good way) when one of the boys would kiss her and had his hands on her maybe a little too sudden or maybe a little too rough and she’d have to tell him to stop bc her skin suddenly felt too tight and she couldn’t breathe and she couldn’t have anything touch her bc it felt like she was naked and wrong and weird

d: 6 words – has a Thing™️ for the supernatural (not the fuckign CW show asksjsks)...,. like i’m talking witchy type shit that she read in a cheap handbook she found in a thrift store. i mean why else do you think she’d try to start up her own coven??? like only 6 people joined and four of them she’s dating (kali, jon, steve, robin) and the other two were max and el. i’m talking vampire RP with way too much white makeup and stealing all of Jon’s eyeliner for some cosplay. i’m talking about summoning a demon or some shit in some kind of weird candle-lit rituals where apparently you’re not allowed to wear clothes (at least that’s what SHE says, jonathan suspects. steve’s chill tho he’s all: whatever floats ur boat babes!!!)

thank u for asking!!!!!

[jonathanssweatercollection]

wow can’t wait for nancy wheeler to have a fantastic, lovey dovey summer with her two boyfriends jonathan and steve and their girlfriend kali and their new best friend robin who’s 100% a non-binary bisexual without any problematic communist-hating government type bitches or interdimensional kid-eating demons or greasy racist hypocritical abusive hicks trying to ruin this lovely time for her and the people she loves

[jonathanssweatercollection]

stranger things teens + zodiac:

Jonathan – July 14th, Cancer (Emotional, Imaginative, Artistic)

Nancy – 25th May, Gemini (Thoughtful, Curious, Gentle)

Steve – October 9th, Libra (Friendly, Just, Peaceful)

Kali – April 21st, Taurus (Devoted, Practical, Romantic)

also nance takes the zodiac VERY seriously. steve is a super proud libra. kali legit could not care less but happy when nancy says something along the lines of “you are SUCH a taurus it’s unreal”. jonathan calls himself a crabby boi unironically.

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

Nancy Wheeler Nanny headcanons

Thanks @nancykali for all the help xoxoxo

⁃ Nancy runs a daycare from the Wheeler house- well not really a daycare but she nannys Holly and Erica (Holly is 6, Erica is 7) all summer and the rest of the kids generally hang out there .. for multiple reasons

⁃ One.. Nancy makes the best lunches, like they always have the best juice boxes and Nancy makes pasta salads and hotdogs and the best sandwiches with crusts cut off and her, Holly and Erica use cookie cutters to cut shapes out of watermelon or make fruit kabobs or the best rice krispie bars in the universe and never bats an eye when she has to make two pans a day

⁃ She also hides two liters of Mountain Dew and lets the kids have one cup a day as long as they don’t tell their mom

⁃ Two.. Nancy Sits in their front yard in a kiddy pool and tans and reads books in a sparkly pink bikini (think Elle woods) with her hair up in whatever little hair do the girls do on her in the morning, while they’re all getting dressed, with her freckles and oversized sunglasses and pink tinted lip balm and tanning oil and glimmering belly button ring.

⁃ Erica and Holly wear their bikinis too and run a tiny lemonade stand at the end of their driveway, the two girls caked in sunscreen, with those tiny plastic chairs for when they get tired

⁃ Anyway, Mike is super embarrassed because everyone thinks Nancy is really hot I mean DUH including Max who’s a lesbian or well she doesn’t exactly know her label yet but all she knows is Nancy is smoking hot and she pretends to like lipstick and mascara cause Nancy gets so excited talking to her about all these different eyeshadow palettes but mostly she just hears Naked

⁃ Will doesn’t think she’s cute cause he thinks Mike is cute and wants to know why Mike is never playing with her or in a swimsuit and Mike always blushes really hard and shoves at him and El watches in fascination, before asking if their boyfriends

⁃ Holly and Erica run a lemonade stand that Nancy helps them make and she adds a lemon wedge to every cup while Erica adds a cherry to each one, and sometimes they sell baked goods if it’s not too hot to turn on the ice

⁃ Nancy’s supervising from her spot in the kiddie pool and of course making the girls more money cause who wouldn’t want an excuse to ogle Nancy, especially when she’s just laying out there tanning or the girls wanna join her in the pool or run through the sprinklers so she’s gotta stand at the stand in her little swimsuit cover up but then they just get even more business cause everyone wants to talk to Nancy Wheeler

⁃ but the point is Steve, Jonathan and Kali come by DAILY and if the kids aren’t hanging at Mikes.. they’re always coming by too ESPECIALLY max and Dustin

⁃ So we got Steve who’s a couple years older who lets Nancy buy cigarettes and alcohol from the corner store and they’ve hooked up a few times and he’s always looking fine as fuck in his little button downs and pastel colored shorts and when Nancy walks the girls down to corner store he lets them get free ice cream and help him count the change and Nancy always bends down to grab something off the lowest shelf and he’s always crouching down to the girls height and complimenting their lemonade and ruffling his hair and eyeing Nancy out of the corner of his eye to see if she’ll acknowledge him or just eye him over the corner of her book

⁃ Jonathan comes over for Will, Will lives the farthest so he comes to bring him or pick him up and he drives a car, nothing fancy but Nancy doesn’t have one and Jonathan blushes so pretty so occasionally she’ll get out of the pool and lean against the drivers door and ask when he’s gonna give her a ride all sultry and he blushes and stutters and she invites him for some lemonade which he insists on paying the girls for, sometimes she’ll invite him in for some spiked lemonade and they sit on the porch and drink it during naptime, sometimes Steve and Jonathan are there at the same time and Nancy shamelessly flirts with them both, the three of them tipsy on too expensive vodka and too cheap lemonade

⁃ Kali is a year above Nancy and Jonathan and always comes around too, with her purple streaks and wild hair dos. Her summer go to is a French braid with big hoop earrings and she wears crop tops and high waisted shorts that show off her curves and fucking vans even though it’s over ninety degrees. So she always buys lemonade and then sits on the grass next to Nancy and teases her about whatever book she’s reading. She makes a sly comment like, “when you’re ready to learn something that you can’t find in books you hit me up Wheeler (because apparently this is an 80s movie where they call each other by their last names) and Nancy’s face flames and Kali laughs and winks and Nancy splashes water at her which really just succeeds in wetting her white crop top so she can see her purple bra.

⁃ One time all three of Nancy’s suitors come just as she’s cleaning up the booth for nap time. The girls are watching tv while Nancy cleans up and then it’s nap time so anyway everyone shows up around the same time and Kali’s confused, she did come for lemonade and her daily dose of Nancy Wheeler but the boys seem to know her better and ask if she has an adult lemonade, Kali teases her and pouts and asks why she’s never been invited for adult lemonade, especially when Jonathan helps her bring the stand to the garage and Steve leads Kali in the house to make the spiked lemonade. She’s jealous Steve knows Nancy so well but also inthralled by his chest hair and how he gets away with wearing his shirt cut so low.

⁃ So it turns into a thing, at night they hang out and drink and around the bonfire the older kids have because it’s summer aka everyone practically lives at the Wheelers and flirt and when the boys go to sleep they pass around joints and the shotgun until they all just end up trading kisses with everyone

Extras from this verse:

⁃ Erica gets dropped off at seven am every morning and Mrs.Sinclair is greeted by Nancy still in her pajamas drinking a cup of coffee

⁃ Most times the girls eat eggos or dry cereal in front of the tv while Nancy downs two more cups of coffee. Finally she makes them get dressed and does Holly’s hair. Mrs.Sinclair showed her how to remove Erica’s bonnet and slick and comb off her hair into a braid and then the girls do her hair. If lunch isn’t already prepared they cook lunch and then get ready to do whatever outdoor activity they wanna do for the save even though Nancy would much rather sit inside in the ac

⁃ Though some days she can’t be bothered to force them outside so they have movie days. When they have these movie days, Nancy generally lets the boys watch and do whatever they want- while they girls are sleeping. She has a potty mouth of her own so rated r movies aren’t that serious to her so the kids crowd up the couch eating popcorn and chips and candy and drinking pop and they’re watching some random rated R movie and all of a sudden TITS are on the screen and she flips out and starts screaming and mike can’t shut up it fast enough as if these kids have never seen tits but she’s just freaking the fuck out and her face is so red and they watch nothing but PG rated movies for weeks, and she’s telling Steve, Kali and Jonathan the story the next time they’re over and Steve busts out laughing and is like “do you fucking know what pornhub is?” And Nancy’s like they do not watch porn and Kali’s like “fuck yeah they do” and Nancy’s like WTF I can’t handle this so yeah no more rated r movies

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

Staloncy Driving Headcanons

who in your polyship can drive?  who in your polyship can do all the mechanical stuff, changing oil and doing brake jobs?  who in your polyship is completely helpless and can’t even remember to check their oil?  whose car is a mess of fast food wrappers and soda cans?  whose car is spotless?  who drives the minivan and is always filling it with junk from thrift stores/yard sales?

Okay so Nancy can drive but not well aka you nearly die everytime you’re in her car because she listens to music too loud and drinks iced coffee and applies liquid lipstick and cannot parallel park and makes too sharp of turns. 

Jonathan can actually drive really well, and so can Kali. However Steve drives so horribly that it’s not even worth having him drive, it took him 4 times to pass the fucking test and they’re all pretty sure they’d just wanted him to stop fucking coming back. 

Jonathan can change oil and do brake jobs, and Kali is fascinated and wants to learn. Nancy’s acrylics cost too much and Steve’s too pretty (his words). 

Nancy doesn’t even know how to check any of the fluids in her car, and can’t even get the hood to lift up by herself because why the fuck does she have to do extra stuff when she already PRESSED THE BUTTON GODDAMMIT. Again, Steve doesn’t drive, and the other two are much better at checking things than Nancy. Nancy wouldn’t even pump her own gas if you allowed her to not. 

Kali’s car is a mess, like a legit mess, Steve loves riding in it because you can just throw your trash everywhere. Nancy’s car is full of sugar packets from Starbucks but she never lets anyone ELSE leave trash in her car. 

Riding in Jonathan’s car is like riding with your grandma because it’s so spotless it’s eerie and you’re scared to move or touch anything at all. 

No one drives a mini van but Jonathan is always filling his car with random shit they absolutely do not need and buying hella shit, and when Steve is with him it’s even worse.

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

Staloncy headcanon prompt, if you want it: Staloncy and their bedtime routine/sleeping arrangement. Who cuddles who, what do they do when someone can’t sleep, who’s the one who steals the blankets, etc

Staloncy.. oh hell YEAH.

So they have a big ass king bed that comfortably fits four, but they are right on top of each other all the time. It usually ends up being Jonathan, Nancy, Kali, then Steve, Kali and Steve always doing the most and teasing each other, Kali giving him hickies as he’s trying to go the hell to sleep. Jonathan always resigned to his nightmares but Nancy usually helps and sings lullabies in his ear, and of course, Nancy keeps her legs tangled with Kali, hands wrapped around Kali’s waist. 

But sometimes it’s Jonathan spooning Steve, running his long fingers over his hips and back, massaging Steve’s scalp, and Nancy in front of Steve, maybe massaging his back when he turns around to kiss Jonathan’s cheekbones and Kali spooning Nancy, hands wrapped around Nancy’s waist, face in her neck, hands on her stomach, fingers linked with Jonathan’s as they hold hands over all of the bodies. 

Nancy has insomnia, but so does jonathan. Jonathan also gets nightmares really bad. Sometimes, if Nancy can’t calm him down, they’ll switch so Kali can card a hand through his hair and send him positive thoughts and dreams. None of them know she can do this of course, but she always makes sure she can touch Jonathan cause he wakes up screaming more nights than not. She can sense it before these attacks come on most times, and tries to make it work and catch it before he wakes himself, and the others up. 

Nancy has a hard time sleeping too and Steve always suggests wearing her out in a sexual way, but most times she just needs to go read, or take sleeping pills.

Steve will fall asleep ANYWHERE AT ANY TIME. So he really really is the first one to fall asleep, almost all the time. He’s always so tired and so worn out, that as soon as his head hits the pillow, and he’s got his arms wrapped around someone, he’s out. 

STEVE STEALS ALL THE BLANKETS. 

Kali is always running hotter than anyone else so they pretty much have to sleep naked, especially if you’re cuddling with her. 

Nancy is the one who always wakes up the earliest and Steve and Kali are the ones who sleep the latest. 

Jonathan wakes up soon after Nancy and they usually quietly mill along and dress in just enough clothes to get to the kitchen. Jonathan starts the coffee and they brush their teeth together and Nancy sits on the counter and whisks the omelet ingredients while Jonathan heats the skillet and does the toast. 

Kali likes sleeping with music on in the background. Or Nancy will sing to her and play with her hair, tracing patterns on her back. 

They generally go to sleep around eleven, but it’s always like an hour of talking and giggling so they’re perpetually tired. 

Nancy is a pillow hoarder. 

Jonathan kicks in his sleep. 

Sometimes Steve drools. 

Kali has ice cold feet. 

Nancy sleeps with socks on a lot, even if she’s naked. 

Nancy needs it to be fully dark in their room. 

They shower at night so they all smell like their body wash and everyone’s skin is soft and smooth from lotion, and they have very nice sheets that slide against their skin. 

I feel like I have more but like.. I’m so shook right now and excited. 

[jonathanssweatercollection]

jancy :)

* who hogs the duvet

well we know from season 1 that nancy like to bunch up her blankets against her face and chest, which I do too bc it feels like hugging, even tho there was a perfectly huggable softboy right THERE, as well as the fact that in jonathan’s first shirtless in bed scene – which i still go haha go crazy go stupid over – that he spreads his leggies all over the place and hugs his pillows plus in s3 he did the precise same thing; by taking advantage of the amount of room in his bed and was on nancy’s side bc he was bein angsty and sad and the pillow probably smelled like her :( so I might have to give this one over to jonny lad

* who texts/rings to check how their day is going

nancy, idk why she just seems Like That and always wants to make sure that everything is a-ok. jon would too but he’s way more anxious to use the wall-phone, 1. bc he takes after joyce SO MUCH and clearly has some hereditary anxiety bc he’s so empathetic and i hc that all the byers are autistic which makes perfect sense for them to be a bit more introverted and less likely to interact with others in a social sense and wow i’m talking a lot but anyways my answer is nancy

* who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

i’ve said it before but nancy clearly put a lot of thought in getting that camera for jonathan in s1 (steve too but that’s more of a fandom-agreed-upon headcanon) so yeah nancy

* who gets up first in the morning

in s3 when we first see nancy and jonathan (and my heart exploded) nancy DID get up first bc she’s so anxious about her new job but if u disregard their season three jobs and if u mean on an average day jonathan is waking up at the crack of dawn (that is, if he slept at all) and you KNOW that jonathan is gonna make her coffee and pancakes in bed 🥺💏🥰

* who suggests new things in bed

nancy. i refuse to elaborate.

* who cries at movies

modern nancy will ONLY cry at three films and those are: star wars: revenge of the sith, titanic, and the fault in our stars. jonathan on the other hand cries all the time at movies, sometimes at ones that he doesn’t even like.

* who gives unprompted massages

nancy, but jon is somehow more skilled at them. in the s3 finale she comes up behind him and cuddles him and squeezes her face int his back. that’s the closest thing we’re gonna get in canon.

* who fusses over the other when they’re sick

jonathan is the FUSSIEST boy when it comes to taking care of other people. EVERYTHING simply must be perfect for thems.

* who gets jealous easiest

they’re both very assured and stable in their relationship but i can see nancy being Worried sometimes when she’s too deep in her self-deprecation bc she’s had a shit week and nothing seems to be making her feel happy anymore and yeah she gets like that sometimes but jonathan would NEVER do anything to hurt her and he’d never even entertain the idea of abandoning her like that

* who has the most embarrassing taste in music

jonathan. yeah. he ain’t embarrassed tho. he loves himself he says emo rights he’s amazing.

* who collects something unusual

both!!! nancy likes to pick up spare screws, jonathan likes to pick up pretty pebble. they’ve done these things since they were kids.

* who takes the longest to get ready

not to be a cliché but nancy. look jon can be a bit slobby at times aight so he just finds the closest soft (ideally clean) clothes he can find and shoves them on. nancy prefers to take her time with her make-up and hair bc a bitch HAS to slay

* who is the most tidy and organised

nancy. we see her room is organised and clean and all Perfect and shit. jonathan on the other hand has books and clothes on the floor.

* who gets most excited about the holidays

oof it’s a tie tbh. in canon nancy LOVES halloween, inviting jonathan to the party and saying ‘you can’t spend halloween night all alone!!!’ or something along those lines AND she dressed up as a character from risky business. Jonathan adores xmas, i mean look at his face in s1 when will talks about one of his presents being an atari and he’s taking pictures of joyce and her “so runny!!!” potatoes and the byers have their adorable lil christmas tree all decked out and—i’m a mess

* who is the big spoon/little spoon

jonathan is the big spoon. nancy is the lil spoon.

* who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

don’t play monopoly with nancy. she can get Mean when she wants to. jonathan gets super into boardgames but he’s not gonna be a sore winner unlike SOME 👀

* who starts the most arguments

honestly like in s3, I feel like they start and end mutually

* who suggests that they buy a pet

surprisingly (or maybe not) jonathan!!!! we know that he LOVES small animals i.e the rat and the rabbit that l*nnie made him shoot plus there’s the “i’m a fan of thumper!!!” line so yeah that leads to him saying once nancy got home one day “i have good news and bad news. bad news is we’re gonna have to go to the pet store bc we’re out of carrots. good news is we have a new son!!” it’s a bunny he found by the side of the road and they name him thumper OBVIOUSLY

* what couple traditions they have

everyone has agreed upon movie nights, sorted by genre (like i said nancy is Very Organised) bc they decided to follow up w/ the byers family night traditions – so maybe it’s not technically a “couple’s” tradition but they’re a couple and its a tradition soooooo

* what tv shows they watch together

nancy is a golden girls stan. need i day more?

* what other couple they hang out with

this shouldn’t be as tough of a question as it is but idk i just like everyone bein all happy and in love plus i am a sucker for makin all my faves bi so i would say stali for the staloncy rights but i also would love for steve and robin and to be besties with jancy is s4!!!!!

* how they spend time together as a couple

like. all the time. i mean that’s quite literally canon

* who made the first move

i still can’t believe that jonathan kissed her first but he DID and i stan him

* who brings flowers home

jonathan would hand-pick them from the park bc fuck capitalism he is NOT gonna spend 8 bucks for a few flowers that won’t even look right he wants to make sure that those flowers are the Right colour and look Rights together

* who is the best cook

jonathan bc the bitch NEVER stops cooking!!!!! he makes breakfast every day!!!!!! he doesn’t critique joyce’s cooking bc he knows that it’s gonna be delicious he knows!!!!!!!! u better believe that bitch makes muffins every saturday like clockwork and they taste DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

[jonathanssweatercollection]

Jonathan and Nancy for the ask game!

yessss!!!!!!

(i’ll answer nancy’s separately)

Jonathan:

favorite thing about them:

jesus alright fuck there are so many things UH how thoughtful and sensitive and obvservant he is and how he’s mostly unafriad to speak his mind and how he’s SO selfless for those he loves and how he is the softest mf in the world that makes me cry alone in my bedroom at around 4 AM

least favorite thing about them:

now obviously i feel obligated to say the inappropriate photographs in season 1 but also the way that he keeps to himself so much and let’s others do what they want and he cares too much about other people bc he doesn’t care enough about himself and his well-being and oh shit i’m crying again

favorite line

he has too many. he’s a solid smooth talker for like-minded emos and gays everywhere. one that comes to mind (and doesn’t get enough credit for being a fantastic line) is “What?? I’m a fan of Thumper!!!!”

brOTP

joyce and will easily, bc he and joyce are easily the most family-oriented people in the whole show, but if i can get platonic stonathan friendship (or allyship i guess) in s3 then i’ll be overjoyed

OTP

jancy, stoncy, stonathan, staloncy in that order (i also crackship jobin which i founded and is jonathan x robin lmfao)

nOTP

anything related to inc*st bc there’s some shit on ao3 that makes me wanna lay down and not look at another screen for at least a week

random headcanon

he’s trans!! he told joyce and will when he was seven, lonnie resented him for it which adds to the “my dad took me hunting on my eighth birthday....” scene, he’s always loved joyce’s hand-me-down jeans and flannels bc it makes him feel more masculine!!!! he’s always liked having shaggy fluffy hair but wants to keep it to his shoulders so that he doesn’t have to deal with the dysphoria and the stress of having long hair, nancy loves calling him “my beautiful boyfriend” and he gets butterflies in his stomach every time!!!! (obviously this is just a fanon hc bc charlie heaton is cis and the duffles are too cowardly to have lgbt+ characters on their show just yet)

unpopular opinion

he’s easily one of the most fascinating characters on the show with some of the most depth and personality, but people won’t give him the credit bc they can’t stop comparing him to st.ve (though i adore both of them) and they think that he’s some kind of “creepy stalker loner purist edgelord” when he’s actually a sensitive, thoughtful, ever-loving, selfless, intelligent, nerdy, introverted, ever-caring, young man who only ever tries to aid the people he loves (that and he gave me my bi rights but anyway)

song i associate with them

jfc SO many but i’ll keep it to three. “squeeze me” by keir, “where’s my love” by SYML and “can’t go on without you” by kaleo

favorite picture of them

atm it’s this one bc i only recently saw it and it’s so beautiful and angelic that I simply HAD to make it my new icon

[nancykali]

i know you like stoncy, but what do you think of a possible ot4 where kali is also included?

Ahem

My time has come

I LOVE THE OT4 SO MUCH😭😭😭😭

Their ship name is staloncy!!

I have a tag for them!! (multiple tags actually but #staloncy is the most straightforward one) I have written a lot of headcanons for them but sadly not much fic. This is the staloncy headcanon I’m most proud of.

I would post about them so much if I knew more than 2 other people who ship them (but aren’t active in the fandom much)!!

PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE OT4 WITH ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

 POLY LOVE 4EVA

[jonathanssweatercollection]

i mentioned that i’d answer Nancy separately so here we are!! my best girl!

favorite thing about them

her tenacity, cleverness and bravery are all facents of her personality that i value. she is so ride-or-die and wise beyond her years and they way that she sought after the lab getting the justice that they deserved and the way that she investigated barb’s disappearance while going out of her mind with worry (sounds like someone else we know *motions to joyce* wonder what it’d be like if they talked onscreen hmmmm 👀)

least favorite thing about them

the way that she can sometimes act without thinking (sleeping with steve even though she was very worried about barb, he had the reputation of being a womaniser, and she feared that he was only with her for a chance of sex and – speaking of – they did it while he was wearing soggy jeans bc he pushed her into the pool lmao) and how she struggles with communication, even though i completely relate to that as it’s one of my own bad habits (for a year she harboured additional feelings for jonathan as well as steve but kept that to herself, didn’t let her mother try to talk to her about the fact that she had sex at a young age and denied this many times, lied to karen again while hunting down the lab, the entire “It’s BULLSHIT” scene is about her feelings boiling over about her grief and her self-disgust) man can someone get my girl some therapy and a mug of hot cocoa

favorite line

obviously it’s her catchphrase “bullshit” but that comes up too many times to properly pinpoint. there’s also my fave memorised quote of hers “my mom was young, my dad was older. but he had money, a cushy job, came from a good family. so they bought a nice house at the end of a cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family... yeah, screw that.” like how can you get anymore BDE than that

brOTP

jancy’s friendship before they got together was the wlw/mlm solidarity that every gay deserves in their life, but there’s also joyce who i’m dying to see her interact with and EL!!!!!!! the POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!!!

OTP

jancy, stoncy, kalancy, staloncy in that order (though i must reiterate i can’t help but ship robin w/ my faves so roncy is also up there) plus there’s her long-lasting relationship with fire-arms that will outlast the show bc they hold That Much Power

nOTP

uH I don’t like stancy as much as i could’ve bc a lot of it is centred around the way that STEVE feels but a lot less so with nancy (in the fandom and in the show) Which is why i don’t tag for them but i also saw someon writing billy/nancy fic on ao3 and i had to clean my eyeballs

random headcanon

she loves astrology and zodiac!!!!!! she’s a pisces girl and proud!!!!!!! she’s got a telescope by her window-seat (a gift from steve at Hanukkah) and jonathan got her a book on the different constellations, including whatever the fuck “retrograde” means, what the different signs are like, etc

unpopular opinion

she wasn’t a bad girlfriend. end of story. fuck misogynist lives.

song i associate with them

ah several!!!! the top three atm are “girls” by girls in red, “cold sweat” by tinashe and “so high” by doja cat!!!!!

favorite picture of them

i’m torn between three jesus she’s so beautiful oh my god what an absolute babe

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

@beverlyjanuaryembers SO mike is super aware the wheelers treat Nancy like shit and don’t wanna be parents so she does everything for him, packs his lunch, washes his sheets at 3 am when he has an accident from nightmares and he knows his sister is one of the prettiest girls in town, hears grown ass men like Lonnie’s nasty ass talk about her so when Steve Harrington shows up to take her out he’s like WHO TF IS THIS and super protective THEN Nancy starts crying a lot and getting upset and so he shows up at the high school and like freaks out at Steve to which Steve doesn’t understand because Nancy’s been blowing HIM off .. then it’s Jonathan Byers showing up at the house and he’s confused what happened to Steve and Nancy won’t talk about it and he gives the same speal to Jonathan but Nancy still isn’t happy and THEN it’s Jonathan and Steve and mike really doesn’t understand so he starts like acting like he needs Nancy more so she has less time to go on dates because he doesn’t understand what that means and when she blows him off he calls her a slut and weirdo for having two boyfriends and then she really gets upset and doesn’t come home for awhile and when she does.. no one is taking her out.

THEN Kali is showing up at the door and mike is so shook because bisexuality is like a new thing to him, he doesn’t understand and he makes a stupid comment like boys do and Kali calls him the fuck out and schools him about being poly and bi and he feels like SHIT and FINALLY Steve and Jonathan and Kali show up to pick Nancy up and Mike gives them the same talk about hurting her

And this is a modern au and so much Wheeler love even tho mike is a kid and uneducated he still loves his sister and Nancy totally understands and it sounds angsty but it’s actually gonna be kinda fluffy and probably like a 5+1

I have a staloncy fic idea where mike is so protective of his sister but like I just want someone to type it for me instead 😂