#stalker povs are really interesting

[ur-fave-bloggers-fave-blogger]

I stared at her, transfixed.

The way she spoke, the color of her eyes, the wavy in her hair. All the things we had in common that she was talking about to a stranger. All the things I could relate too and he couldn't.

And I just stood there, in the shadows, where the light was dimmest, where she couldn't see me and I stared.

There was a yurning in my heart, for her to look at me, for her to turn to me, for her to be all mine.

But then I got the strength to walk away and I left her, I left her for now. Because she didn't know me, but I. I knew her. And that's all that really mattered. For now.

And later I'd follow her home, and knock at her window, and she'd peak out and scream and then she would know me. And only then would I be content.

[generalpalacefishgoop]

Landduo convo I found interesting today

Foolish: I can read you like a book from front to cover and back again.

Pili: Woah woah how long have you guys known each other then?

Foolish: Golly what?

Bad: It's been a long time. Foolish: Too long.

Bad: Too long

Pili: That's probably why

Bad: Too longs don't make a right

(…)

Pili: Is it really that bad that I'm killing someone that come back to life? If he allows me to? Because I don't think your morals are the same as his morals & my morals, and the same with standards too, it's different. You wouldn't understand it.

(…)

Foolish: Actually Pili, there's another problem I've come to realize. I think right now you're too buddied up with this guy right here.

Pili: Well, technically I do spend a lot of time with Bad because I spend a lot of time with Pangi, but that's another conversation.

Foolish: Oh, so you wish Bad wasn't there. It's more of just like-

Pili: I mean, I…sometimes want to be alone with Pangi

Ros: Bad, that's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Bad: Wait what? That's crazy. I thought I had at least 1 friend in this realm.

Ros: Don't worry, we're friends, Bad.

Foolish: Maybe if you just didn't accidentally kill half of them, you'll have some more.

Bad: Maybe I just haven't killed enough.

Foolish: No. What?

Bad: Huh?

(…)

Bad: Foolish, what was that you were saying, you hated the most about your kingdom the other day?

Foolish: What?

Bad: The other day you were saying how some of your kingdom members were getting on your nerves?

Foolish: Oh, is this is really what you're gonna do?

Ros: Huh? Really? Is this true?

Foolish: No! This is like one of his favorite tricks in the book is like to pull a random stunt like, oh, remember that time the other day you were talking about like you didn't like Ros or something like that is what he does. Cuz he has nothing of substance.

Pili: He just like, you just know him so well, Foolish. I think out of everyone in the realm, you know him the best.

Foolish: Yeah, sadly. Bad: That's true

Bad: Ros, you were saying something the other day to Pili. Your feelings got hurt.

Pili: Do you remember what that was? When you asked me out on a date?

(…)

Bad: So, that's how little Ros thinks of Pili that you just want to say the whole conversation yesterday didn't happen. Ok, I didn't know you felt about Pili that way, that you hated him that much.

Ros: Woah. No no no. No no no.

(…)

Ros: No, it's fine, you know? If you join the Kingdom, I'll be very disappointed, but it's ok. I'll see you later.

(…)

Foolish: Friendship really blossomed in this kitchen table.

Bad: I feel like we're making a lot of progress here. That was a great episode.

(…)

Bad: I think you should kill Ros.

Foolish: Bad! Look what you did. Look what you did.

Bad: What?!

Foolish: Look what you did. Don't act like you're not smiling ear to ear, ok? You did that one little comment and you're like, oh, remember that one time? (…) This is you, pal.

Bad: I just want to see them work out their differences.

Foolish: No, the only thing you wanted was to see differences blossom. That's all you do. That's all you do, ok! You're just a little virus! You're a little virus that follows me from server to server to server!

Bad: What?! That's crazy!

Pili: Are you like a stalker, BadBoyHalo?

Foolish: Lowkey.

Bad: This guy's the stalker. Everywhere I look, he's right behind me. (…) I always feel like no matter where I look, like I look over here and I can still see those green beady eyes looking at me. I can still feel it everywhere. I don't know why.

Pili: Guys, I'm gonna go apologize to Ros cause I actually am not a bad person.

Bad: Apologize with violence.

Foolish: Can you not, for once.

VOD: Bad POV https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2344473749 1:43:14

Foolish POV https://www.twitch.tv/videos/2344266835 5:40:04

[selfloverrrrrr]

Stalker gojo pls 🙏🏼

Stalker ~

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physically and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

I work in a cafe. I live alone in my apartment. My apartment was in an empty area. That's because that's the only appartment I got in my range. I don't have too much money to afford a good apartment .

Gojo Satoru was famous person in Tokyo. Everyone knows him. But nobody knows what he does. Is a good person or a bad person? Nobody knows. But everyone knows that he's a dengerous person. I also know his name. But never seen him. So how can I know he's stalking me...?

All of this started from the cafe. I was working. Suddenly the bell rang. I looked at the door. A tall handsome man entered. His eyes were blue, white hair. He was wearing a sunglass. His outfit was black. He came in and took a sit.

I went to his table and bow down."what would you like to have sir..?" I asked. "Nothing much... just a latte please " he replied with a charming smile. "Ok sir " I said and took his order. "And what's your name?" I asked. "Hmm?" He raised his eyebrows. "Your name....to write on the cup" I said. "Ohh... yeah.... it's Gojo Satoru " he replied. A beat skipped my heart as head his name. "Ok" I said and quickly went out of there.

I went in the maid counter. My hands were shaking. Did I just met and talked with Tokyo's most famous man?! Fuck I've heard that guy is scary... I shouldn't get too close to him. I thought. Then I bring him his order. "Here's your order sir" I said. "Oh... thanks" he replied with a smile.

That was the first time I saw him. Since then he was almost a regular coustomer. He came in the cafe almost two or three times in a week. He knew my name now. But I don't even try to get too close. I just do my work. Cause I don't want to get in any kind of trouble.

After few days... It was a normal day. Gojo came in cafe again. And he never ordered anything else... just latte. That was he's regular. So I don't even have to ask him his order. I bring him his order then went back to the counter. After finishing his latte he he went to pay the bill. "Here's the money" he said and handed me. " Thank you sir... please do come again" I said. "Umm...y/n... can I talk to you please?" He asked. "Sure" I replied. "I think you're really cute... can I have your number?" He asked with a smile. My heart skipped a beat. " I-i.... actually sir... I'm not interested... I'm s-sorry " I replied with shaking voice. His smile faded away. "Do you have any boyfriend?" He asked in serious tone. "N-No... it's not about having boy-" I was saying "do you like someone?" He cut me off with again his serious tone. "N-No " I replied. Suddenly his smile came back on his face. "It's okey...see you soon.... bye " he said. 'fuck I almost thought that he's gonna kill me' I thought. "B-bye sir"I replied.

Gojo's POV

I was walking on the road. I saw a cafe. I've never went to the cafe. I don't know what came in my mind I went in the cafe. I went to a empty table. A maid came to me. When I looked at her....GODDDDD!!!! IS SHE A FUCKING ANGEL?! She asked my name. She looked scared when she heard my name. I smirked at myself. Is she scared of me like those other peoples...? Well you don't have to be scared darling. I like you. I have fallen in love with you.... and when I tell myself something as mine... I make that mine...In. Any. Cost.

I have a great obsession with her. But never let anyone know that. Not anyone. I always stalk her everywhere.

I went to my room. I grabbed the door knob and opened it. I opened the door and went inside. I smirked at the view infront of me. That room's wall was full with y/n's pictures. Her pictures that I took every time I stalked her. I love her and I want her. I looked at the table in that room. I went to the laptop and opened it. I started playing all the footage of those cameras I set all over y/n's house. She's in her bathroom. I've seen her body so many times before. But God! I never get tired. "soon gonna feel that body, darling" I whispered.

A few days later. I went to the cafe again. Today I asked her for her number. But she rejected?! I asked her if she had a boyfriend or if likes someone. I know she doesn't but still I asked. She said no. I smiled. 'so she wants the hard way,huh?.... Fine!' I told myself and leave the cafe.

Y/n's POV

I just closed the cafe. It was dark at night and there was no one around to be seen. I was walking quietly when suddenly someone spoke. "I think its not good for a beautiful girl like you walk all alone at this hour. would you like me to take you home?" The voice said. When I looked beside me. It was Gojo.

He Smiled creepily at me as I notice a shadow of a knife on his hip. "Im a very gentleman person... you know and you don't need to be scared of me. Im just trying to help you get home." He said. My heart was pounding. I know he's a dengerous man... and I really don't want any trouble. "T-T-Thank you.....but I don't n-need your help" I said as I tried to walk first.

He starts to approach me. "So you rather choose walking alone than come with me? Dont you think you will be a easy target for someone to attack?" He said. I looked at the knife in his pocket. "Oh the knife..? Are you scared of that???" He said as he pulled out the knife from his pocket and threw it on the road. " I don't need any knife to have you " he said. And I looked at him confusedly. He suddenly put a cloth on my mouth and dragged me in his car.

When my eyes open again I was in my bedroom. But there wasn't any clothes on me. I started panicking. I looked beside me then I saw Gojo infront of me. He was taking off his clothes. I was about to get off the bed when Gojo grabbed my hand and pulled me harshly towards him. My back was on the bed and he climbed on top of me. " Where do you think you are going....huh??? " He said with a smirk. his hand slowly reaching up from my inner thigh. " Why don't you just relax darling..." he said and his hand reached my core. He pushed his middle and ring finger inside and started thursting in and out. "G-gojo stop" I moaned loudly. "Oh... You liked that?" He smirked at me.

He started thursting his finger in and out harshly. Looking at me and smiling like a psycho which make me froze in fear. "You like getting fucked by me right???? That's why you are squeezing my fingers like that!" He whispered in my ear. "S-stop....p-please.." I begged. He looked at me again. He paused his fingers. "Why did you rejected me huh? Do you know how much I love you? I stalked you everywhere you go.... I've cameras all over your house...I loveed you these much and you rejected me???...If I got you pragnent then you can't resist me right???!!!!" He said in a low voice.

"N-no.... n-no.... I don't want that... please" I begged him. He didn't even listen to me. I tried to push his chest but nothing. Gojo started licking on my nipple. He was being a tease. I moaned. He continued his teasing licking and sucking on my nipple. With his one hand he grabbed my other boob and squeezed it roughly. I scremed so loudly.

I tried to get off from the bed but he grabbed my leg and pulled me again in that place. He grabbed his dick stroked it two or three times then line it with my entrence. I began to panic. "Gojo Gojo .... please no .... G-gojo please no... Don't do this again please!!!" I begged him and tears started falling from my eyes but he didn't listen. "Call me Satoru.... You should call me by the first name, baby" he said kissing my cheeks.

Gojo pushed his whole length in one slide and I scremed with pain. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. I was screming loudly. His huge dick was giving me too much pain. He started giving me hickeys on my neck and chest. His thursting getting faster and harder. "This .... This is mine.... I wouldn't.... I wouldn't let anyone take it from me!!!!" He said between moans. My whole body was shaking. He was moaning too. The way his dick was touching my g-spot make my back arch. It didn't take much time and I came. As I came that smirk again played on his lips.

He was still thursting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh...no please no....ahhhhhh..... n-not ahhhh.....not inside... please" I begged him. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out and whispered in my ear with a smirk "I'm sure.... you'll be carrying my child". He whispered and fall beside me taking deep breaths.

" You are mine and just fucking mine. Don't ever dare to think of anyone else for a moment. Or else you know damn well what I'm gonna do." He whispered in my ear.

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I love when you give me your requests 💕

[moriitis]

Stalker!Toby Rogers x Fem!Reader PT.2

okokok ill write more,,, also this is very very very inspired by YOU on Netflix and toby's mannerisms very much match joe goldbergs...!!! watch it, its amazing.

this is in Toby's pov! [Y/N] -> your name minors DNI!

tw// stalking, perversion, breaking and entering, murder, obsession, submissive shit.

Doing this for you [Y/N] would get me in some serious trouble, but you know that, don't you? Your morning routines are the same really, surprisingly, you make your bed first and then you go pee. Do you even think to close your curtains? No, why would you? But really, [Y/N], if you don't want any creeps looking at you, you would close them. Okay, that's the first thing we are working on when you're mine. Closing the curtains, locking doors and windows. I'll make sure you are safe. Like a partner should do! Back to morning routine, usually you skip breakfast, which.. is bad. But don't worry! When you fall head over heels for me, I'll cook for you everyday. Granted, I'm not the best cook around but anything to make sure you look after yourself. I wonder if you cook, because I see you order takeout a lot. Hey, I get it, money management is hard. And then there's the best part to your morning routine, watching you undress in front of that window. I mean, do you want everyone to see how precious you are to me? Are you doing this for me? Toby adjusted the cap atop his head, lowering his gaze momentarily as some shuffle of people walk past him. He keeps his gaze down for a moment, staring at the scuffed shoes on his feet before slowly lifting his head and taking his gaze back toward your window. What was I saying? Right, the best part of the morning! You peel the shirt over your body, pulling your hair out from under the clothing to flick the strands behind your shoulders. The morning sun hit you perfectly, you were like something in some stained glass. Turning to glance out the window, Toby quickly dropped his head again and turned his torso to seem busy with something else. Shit. I really need to introduce myself to you [Y/N], so I don't need to do this all the time. Alright, you get dressed and start your day out with a walk. It's not hard to lose you amongst the crowd [Y/N], because you are one of a kind. There's the morning iced coffee, which isn't my favourite but I can adjust myself to you! Man, how much do they charge you for that shit, [Y/N]? You are occupied with your phone, are you texting friends, family? Please don't tell me there's a boyfriend I need to get out of the picture. I'll do it for you, fuck, anything for you! You are most certainly more interesting then when I watch you sleep. The way you talk to people, your mannerisms, you are polite, approachable, which could be a problem.. You don't like attention though, I can see it in your eyes, the way you scan the crowd and avoid stares from passer-by's. Now, I need to introduce myself to you one way or another, so.. where are we going, [Y/N]? Oh, okay, grocery shopping, I could do with some snacks, I barely find time to eat nowadays. I wonder, are you a basket kind of girl? Or will you take a cart? Toby kept a few paces behind, his gaze low so the cap covered his face, hands stuffed in his pockets. You stepped inside and grabbed a basket, peaking his interest more. A basket, okay, only a couple things. Following behind but keeping a secure feet away, Toby then reached down to grab a handle of a basket himself before following behind. It's been awhile since I went grocery shopping, [Y/N]. I'll be honest, been sleeping rough, that kinda shit, you wouldn't care. You pondered by the fruit, Toby sticking close by with his back turned, occasionally turning his head to glance over his shoulder back at you. Fruit? What's your favourite, I wonder. Apples, bananas, pears.. Or maybe you like strawberries? I see you as a strawberries and chocolate kind of girl. But I won't assume, show me, [Y/N]. Tell me what you like. "[Y/N]? Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?" A womans voice, but you haven't seen her in awhile..? Old high school friend, maybe? You seem unsure, like you can't remember her name but it's on the tip of your tongue..

She approaches you with a smile, arms outstretched for a friendly embrace. Toby keeps a watchful eye, a packet of spaghetti in his hand as he observes from a distance. His eyes flicker from the ingredients to the two of you. You are reluctant, she's prettier.. Oh, oh, I see [Y/N]! Old high school bully? Popular girl? She won't be a problem if you don't want to interact with her. You hesitate to accept her embrace, the hug was short and it seems the other girl wasn't too interested either. "Heyy, girl.." the words linger on your lips. Your voice, I want to laugh.. It's beautiful. "It's been awhile, how are the kids and stuff?" You speak, your voice wavers as you attempt to seem interested. Toby can see right through it. This girl cannot. She has kids? Fuck, I never wanted kids, [Y/N].. But, maybe I'll consider it with you? The girl forces a laugh. This interaction is so cringe, [Y/N]. Even I can't stand it. Too much small talk. "So well! How are you? You have a partner? Children?" The idea seems to disgust you, [Y/N]. Toby narrows his eyes at you as he turns to put the pasta back, slowly treading down the isle to admire each product but his ears working on the conversation happening near him. "Oh, haha." You laugh, you want a hole to open up and eat you away. This is too cringe. Toby quickly grabs a can of chopped tomatoes, peels the cap off his head and takes a quick moment to fix his messy, brown hair before jogging over to you and the girl. Forcing a warm, friendly smile, he puts the can in your basket. "S-S... Sorry, took me a-... awhile to find th-..." Fuck this. "To find them." He finished, keeping an intense gaze on you. You are confused, mouth hung open agape a little. Come on, catch on to this. There's a lingering silence hanging over the three of us. You let out a chuckle in disbelief, raising your brows and blinking a little in disbelief before quickly smiling. "Right! I needed those, thank you.." Your voice lingers. Fuck, how could I just assume you know my name. Toby turns to the other woman and smiles before holding out a hand, he was trembling a little but that only was because he could smell that scent on you. Lavender. "Toby." He introduces himself to the woman and she is a little surprised, naturally before taking his hand and shaking it. "Angelica." Angelica? Really? [Y/N], what the fuck? You were friends with an Angelica? Yeah, I'm calling on your bluff, sweetie. "Toby! Right," you laugh, extending a hand to snake it around his arm. He stiffens a little at the touch, it was unexpected, a beautiful woman literally on his arm? "I'm sorry, Angelica, yeah, this is Toby." You were telling yourself that more than you were telling Angelica. And now we are no longer strangers. Angelica is a little taken aback by Toby's sudden presence, like him being here was.. unsettling. She's questioning him. Ah, you haven't seen me on [Y/N]s socials have you? She might be a problem, [Y/N]. "He's handsome, [Y/N]! Hold onto him," she exclaims with a laugh. Toby forces a chuckle and shakes his head, disagreeing with her. You laugh to follow the crowd before flushing a little. I'm making you blush already? Angelica's phone buzzes, causing her to shuffle around the little shoulder bag that hung loosely. She pulls out her phone, checking the screen momentarily before sighing. "Sorry, girl, gotta dash, but hey, keep in touch, okay? Nice to meet you, Toby." She exchanges an apologetic smile before turning on her heel. As she walks away, she's occupied with a phone call that doesn't sound pleasant. Toby gives a smile and watches as she leaves before feeling the hand that was wrapped around his arm slip away. Brows raising, he turns to glance back at you. No, no, no, don't let go! You can hold me, I'm okay with it! You're even more beautiful when you're awake, those eyes, those lips.. Toby's gaze linger on your lips before returning to your eyes. You are still flushing a little as you chuckle awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, thanks for jumping in." You are shy. Cute. "It's n-... n-.." Toby purses his lips. "Nothing." His gaze glances at the canned tomatos he dropped in your basket and you follow his gaze, chuckling a little. "Still n-n... need th-.. those? Or ca- can I have them b-.. back?" There's a smirk tugging at the corner of his lip. You laugh a little. "They weren't on my list." You push your hand into the basket and grab the can before handing it back. See? It's love at first sight! Well, my love at first sight was last night while watching you sleep but does that count considering your eyes were closed?

[nnoragamis]

potentially controversial opinion but i think lucy is actually in the same boat as natsu when it comes to opening up to others/communicating. i think it's just easier to miss because most of the story is told from her POV and so the audience is pretty in-tune with what she's going through...but that doesn't necessarily mean that the characters around her are.

lucy's pretty tight-lipped about her past, which makes sense for when she was actively keeping it a secret—but even after everything comes out into the open, i don't think she's ever completely forthcoming about what her life was actually like before she joined fairy tail. her friends don't even know that her mother is dead until much later! even after the entire incident with phantom lord, she doesn't tell anyone what she's planning when she leaves to confront her dad—she leaves a note, sure; but it's so vague that it's no surprise that the rest of the team misinterpreted it to mean that she was leaving for good.

later on, when lucy feels like she's being stalked, she had no problem venting about it to natsu and happy—until her "stalker" turns out to be her dad and they have a bitter exchange. even though natsu, happy and gray show up almost immediately to check on her, she clams up about what happened. she doesn't say anything the next day at the guild, either, and when she realizes her dad might be in danger, she up and leaves without a word, despite the fact that her team is right there, and she doesn't know what kind of danger she might be throwing herself into.

and i already made a post about this, but the fact that lucy apologizes to natsu and happy for "inconveniencing" them when she found out that her dad died is fucking bonkers and really is indicative of her deep-rooted issues in this area.

finally, i think the entire plotline with aquarius is the biggest example of this. idk what's happened in the 100 yq manga (and i don't care), but as far as the main series is concerned, lucy keeps everything that happened during the tartaros battle to herself. she casually mentions it in front of gray and happy, i think, but that was probably just a fuck-up on mashima's part, because as far as the rest of canon went, she kept that shit close to her chest. she clearly associates natsu leaving with the pain of losing aquarius, and resents him for it on some small level, but again, aside from a few vague barbs here and there, she never actually comes out and says what she's feeling about it.

idk, i just think it's an interesting aspect of her character that goes overlooked.

[whiskeyghoul]

7 || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]

First part, Previous part, Next part

A/N: Okay this is mostly just fluff to lead up to more things. Anyways, reader getting out of the lab dungeon! Yay! Also Spencer is definitely the type of person to get overwhelmed by feelings and get too into his head with everything. So here is a chapter of just the inner musing of the ‘oh my god I am going too fast.’ and ‘I really want to do more with them. What if I scare them off.’ type of things. Because he already realized his feelings but he is too blinded by them to see yours. Not proof read once again oops.

WC: 3 K

Tags: Fluff, just pure fluff, idiots in love, mentions of things from the past, reminiscing.

Warnings: None.

Spencer POV

Spencer had decided that he’d finish the week by staying home. So when he arrived at Quantico on Monday morning, two coffees in hand, he felt refreshed in a weird way. Where at the start of the week before he had felt terrible, tired, aching. Now he had a slight lightness in his step. The satchel hanging off of his shoulder was heavy, filled with his paperwork that he had done at home. He had spent that Friday actually working on it, feeling better than he had before that.

When you had come over that last Thursday, he had listened to your apology. Realizing how much of an impact on your life your ex had. He just hoped that it was over now. Because when he thought about you, being hurt, stalked. It made something inside him so angry. That when you had sat across from him at his dining table he just wanted you to stay close to him forever. So that he could be the one to keep an eye on you. It felt possessive. Which he hadn’t felt before. Not about a person at least.

About his favorite book, yes. Or his personal mug. About the chess set he had gotten from his mother years ago. Yet you were the first person to stir up similar feelings inside of him. He had almost even invited you to stay over that night. Which was moving way too fast considering you had just hurt his feelings immensely about a week before. Yet seeing you, in that big ragged hoodie, completely disheveled, vulnerable. He needed you close. He also wanted to kick Tommy in the teeth if he ever ran into him. For hurting you. For being a dick. He’d never felt like intentionally hurting someone like that. But you did something to him.

Spencer walked to the frosted glass door, knocking quickly before stepping in. He watched as you sat up at your desk, eyes meeting him, your concentrated frown turned to a smile. The way the crease in your brown relaxed at the sight of him made his heart still for a moment. He hadn’t thought that the sight of him was enough to make you smile. Wanting to immerse himself in that feeling. If only for a moment. “Morning Spencer.” Your voice was chipper that morning. He noted you looked put together, happy, carefree. Though that is what getting rid of a stalker usually does. He walked over, knowing he couldn’t stay long but wanting to spend as much time with you as he could.

“Good morning.” He returned with a smile, handing over the coffee that had kept his hand warm on his walk up. You gladly took it, taking an immediate sip. “You are a godsend.” You spoke with a smile after placing the cup down. “Because of the coffee or is there another reason for this compliment?” He asked, an amused smile playing on his lips as he took off the purple scarf he had worn on his way over. Draping it over the back of one of the desk chairs. “Both. I couldn’t get coffee this morning, I was in a rush since I got new evidence in.” You said, and got up from your chair, ready to show him whatever you got in. “Look, this is so interesting, they found a butt load of money on the victim. It was found at the crime scene, there was powder that could either be used for tracing or could be some drugs. Maybe it’s cocaine, maybe it is a poison absorbed through the skin.” You continued, holding up the evidence bag with a few hundred dollar notes.

“What’s the other reason?” Spencer asked. You blinked, just a little confused. “For the powder?” You questioned in return. “For the compliment.” Spencer answered and you blinked again. Doe eyed and a little embarrassed. Clearly you had changed the subject because you didn’t want to tell him the true reason. “Ehm… well, you- you look really good.” Your face had gotten tinged red as you stammered over your words. Spencer smiled. Without even thinking he leaned slightly down. Planting a tender kiss on your cheek. He couldn’t not, seeing your pinkened cheeks, the urge to kiss you was almost unbearable. But he could hold back enough to just press his lips on the apple of your cheek. Your skin was soft and warm against them. The smell of your perfume once again wafting up into his nose. It was a quick second of a move but he would keep that moment in his memories forever. 

When he pulled away you looked still as flustered as before. “What was that for?” your voice was sweet, not even a hint of apprehension in them. You feigned confusion, he could see it in the way your eyes looked at him with a slight twinkle. Only one brow quirking up and a lopsided smile that you tried to hold back. “You look really good too.” Spencer answered, his cheeks feeling just the slightest hint of warmth. He watched you, the way your bottom lip got caught between your teeth as you struggled to keep from smiling too much. He wanted to keep that look all to himself. His hands aching again to pull you closer to him, to let himself melt into that cherry scent. To never stop kissing those sweet lips. He could stay in the lab forever with you if you would let him. Or if his boss would. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket before the sound went off. The ding of a text message that was probably sent by one of his colleagues wondering why he was later than usual.

“I think you need to get to work too.” You spoke with a hint of disappointment. A sigh crossed your slightly parted lips. “I can come back for lunch.” Spencer spoke quickly, so ready to return to you even when he hasn’t left yet. “You always have lunch here, I am sure you must be sick of the lab.” You quickly protested. How could he be sick of the place where he gets to spend time with you. It was a preposterous thought. Nothing like that would have ever crossed his mind

“What if I come to you for lunch? Would that be okay?” you asked. “Are you sure? I mean… I would love that! If you want to of course. But isn’t this your space? I get it if you don’t want to go somewhere else to have lunch. Though if you do want to. I can show you my desk. Penelope would also be happy to see you, I’m sure.” Spencer rambled, until he realized he was rambling. The last word trailing off. He knew what you were doing, you were trying to make him comfortable. Even though he wasn’t uncomfortable in the lab. Yes, it was a bit of a walk, but he never complained because it meant you two would have lunch together. But he did realize he always came to you. And maybe, you had felt bad for making him come down every time. Though, you never asked him to besides the first time. After that it was all on his own accord. “I think I should broaden my horizons outside of the lab.” You joked, the giggle following your words sounding like a melody to him. “Right. Then, I would love to.” He smiled, his face feeling suddenly hot with embarrassment. His phone went off again. 

Spencer watched as you placed your hands on his shoulders. The feeling sent tingles down his spine. “I will see you at lunch then. Thank you for the coffee, pretty boy.” You quickly moved up onto your toes and placed a peck on his cheek. Mirroring what he had done to you. So casual. A peculiar kind that bordered on domestic. He locked that thought away for now. Not wanting to open that can of worms when he had just known you for a month, maybe less. It had only been 2 weeks since your first true kiss, in the museum. God he was moving quick, he might even scare himself with the rate at which these feelings grew inside of him. He realized he loved you, but saying that now would be too soon. You spun him around , his out of control thoughts quieting down, before giving a light push towards the door of the lab. Just as the notification sound went off for a third time.

When Spencer made his way to the bullpen of the BAU and took a seat at his desk he heard Derek whistle. “Got a little honey I see. And so early in the morning, how does he do it ladies and gents?” The man sidled up to his desk as Spencer bent down to put his bag on the ground. He looked back up to Derek with a little confusion, until he realized. His eyes went just a little wide. He had been so dazed by the fact you kissed him so quickly, and then shoved him to get to work, he forgot to check his face for what most likely would be a deep red mark on his left cheek. “You got a little something right there.” Derek pointed to his own cheek with a grin.

“Just because you can’t get it doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me.” Spencer sassed, grabbing a tissue and wetting it with water from his bottle, wiping at his cheek to remove your lipstick stain. Even though it hurt him slightly to remove the lasting mark you left on him. “Oh I am not making fun of anyone. I am proud. You return back after a week of absence due to a broken heart with what is clearly a sign that she’s still into you.” Derek explained, hands up in a defensive pose. Though he still had that grin. “Or you moved on to someone new really quickly.”

Spencer looked at the stain on the tissue, it was still vaguely kiss shaped. “We made up.” He said softly, a little embarrassed again. He knew Derek truly didn’t mean any harm with his words, they were teasing, like the older brother he never had but wished he did. “Good for you.” Derek said as he patted his shoulder before returning to his own desk. Spencer sat down, stuffing the tissue in his pocket before he went to work on filing the paperwork.

Spencer kept looking at the clock, hoping, praying they wouldn’t get a case until after lunch. Maybe that was a selfish thought, wanting the murders and the kidnappings to wait for his own gain. He knew that if they were needed they would fly out within 30 minutes. But lunch with you was important. So every few minutes he looked at the clock. Every time the elevator made a noise his eyes would flick over. The clock crept nearer to 12 pm, then when it hit 12:15 on the dot the elevator doors opened. And there you were, white coat foregone, two small bags in your hands that he supposed contained your lunch. You looked around the room a little nervous.

Spencer got up from his seat, waving you over with a smile. You lit up once you saw him, walking over quickly, boots thudding heavy against the linoleum of the bullpen. “Hey.” Spencer said with a smile, feeling a little too excited. “Hey.” you said in turn with a big smile. “I eh… got lunch for the both of us. If that’s not overstepping.” You said, holding out one of the paper bags. “I texted Penelope, she said you liked BLT so I truly hope you do.” you spoke quickly and Spencer grabbed the bag with a smile. The fact that you went out of your way to get him something he liked, to text Penelope, it made his heart swell. “I do. Thank you.” He said and motioned for you to take his seat.

As he did Spencer looked around the room for a second, a slightly surprised look from Emily, a confused one from JJ, and Derek just smiled before giving him a thumbs up. A sudden reminder that he never told Emily or JJ, and he was lucky David and Aaron sat in their own offices. He could not handle getting dating advice from David right now. You sat down in his seat as Spencer pulled a free chair over, sitting next to you. Closing a few books to make space to put the food down. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.” He apologized but you simply smiled. “It’s okay. I like it, it’s your apartment but in desk form.” You commented, looking over the things on his desk.

He felt a little embarrassed by the few knick-knacks that were on there. The post it notes stuck to any service as reminders of things to do. He watched as you picked up the picture frame, a photo of his mom and him in there. “That’s my mom, Diana…” he said, as he watched your intent look. “She looks nice. You have similar bone structure.” You commented. Spencer let out a soft chuckle, “No one has ever commented on our bone structure before.” He said it softly. His mom was still a little sore of a subject, he knew the situation wasn’t likely to change, his mom would just get worse. But he wasn’t ready to tell you about that part just yet. Maybe soon. He did need to tell his mom about you. He’d probably have to tell her multiple times, he just hoped she would be happy for him. “But you do!” You quickly retaliated, turning the picture to him, “all these angles, the big eyes.” you tried to reason and Spencer only chuckled more. “Didn’t you come to have lunch?” He asked as he started to unwrap the sandwich that you got for him.

“And maybe to snoop a little.” You confessed as you quickly took a bite of your own sandwich. Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, just a little surprised and amused. “Shouldn’t snooping happen without the other person’s knowledge?” He asked, taking his own first bite of the sandwich. Somehow, it tasted better when you were around. You shrugged dismissively, though a small smirk played along those blood red lips. He thought about it, about kissing you right there in the bullpen. Looking pretty in his chair, at his desk. Though he’d probably never hear the end of it from the entire team. He didn’t really care. There was that possessiveness again. Wanting to show you and him were a thing… though you never really said you were a thing. “It feels wrong to snoop on you.” You admitted, sheepish grin and a slight nudge of your shoulder against his. This is what happiness felt like. The sadness of the last week is quickly forgotten, just by having you pay attention to him again. He was weak for you.

“I appreciate the informed snooping.” He laughed softly. “I’ll make sure to only snoop when you know.” Your reply made him smile more. The both of you finished your lunch, eating and talking, until Aaron walked in. “Round table room, 10 minutes.” He stated it coolly, only inferring to Spencer that this could be a serious case. Spencer looked at you, a little apologetic. He didn’t want to leave. Wanted to finish lunch in all peace with you. “I’m sorry.” He apologized as he started to pack up the half eaten sandwich back into the paper it came in. At Least he’d be able to finish it later. “It’s okay. It is your job.” You answered, standing up before a look of realization came over you. It confused him for a moment as you looked at him with your lips parted. “What?” he asked, brows scrunching slightly. “You left your scarf in the lab. I wanted to bring it. I’m sorry, I can go get it.” You rambled. “That’s okay, no need. I can pick it up when we get back.” He assured. It was sweet how you thought about it. Wanting to return his scarf when he had to leave. Maybe to make sure he wouldn’t be cold.

“Alright… You’d have to come back soon, be safe.” Those words made his heart skip a beat. It was sweet. How you cared, made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. “I will.” He said with a nod. He wanted to bend his head down again, to kiss you and not care about his friends in the room. Instead of giving in to the urge of wanting to kiss you, he pulled you into a hug. Wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. He felt your arms wrap around him. Warmth taking over him. He pressed his nose into the crook of your neck, taking in a deep breath. Emitting your scent to memory. The feeling of you in his arms tucked away for when he needed to remember it. He almost didn’t want to let go. You were the one to pull away first. Spencer reluctantly let his arms drop back to his sides. “I’ll see you soon.” you said it softly and with a smile. He nodded his head, “I’ll text you every day.” he answered before gathering his things and heading to the round table room. A quick glance back to see you still standing at his desk, a small wave goodbye before he left to go do his job.

He just hoped it wouldn’t be a long one.

Tag list:

@luvkatryna @emma-e-a @littlemadamred @cultish-corner @styleiconsize0 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @depressedbutartsy @mikariell95 @jasf444 @queermaxwooo @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @sammy-4103 @thedevioussmirk @pleasantwitchgarden @khxna   @suckstobrlaurie @mega-kittyglitter-1 @superlegend216 @seninjakitey

[darcytaylor]

You may be tired of this discourse and in that case, feel free to skip this lol, but I was thinking about some things today after rewatching S3 and seeing the new pap attack on N&JD and Tom H getting fed up with Zendaya being swarmed by fans, and I was thinking, what would I do if I was in their position or I was the normie partner of a celebrity? Like, I can't even imagine dealing with something like that, but if I had to, what would I do?

I was also thinking about why I was really put off by A's latest photo dump and I've come to some realizations. I was aware of her existence early on but I wasn't deep into the fandom until May, so I wasn't phased by the stuff with her and L that came out after. I didn't look into her much because frankly I wasn't interested and I was very vocal about people giving her grace or barring that, at least ignoring her. I felt like whatever she did, the fandom would find a way to hold it against her, so she might as well live her life. That is why when people spoke of her "playing SM games", I scoffed at it and interpreted her posts as typical GenZ SM activity. But that started to change for me when she posted those two stories where she literally bent over backwards to show us that L was her phone background, and resurfaced again with the latest summer dump, where she went out of her way to post parallel photos with L when he'd made every effort to make this paid-for promo as free of any hints to his private life as possible. And I started to think, why would she do that, especially if it was a sponsored post (which, mind you, is still up), which he would be expected to be professional about? If I was the partner of a celebrity and they clearly wanted us to be private, and made every effort to make it so, why, out of everything I could be posting, would I post things that would be sure to rile up a trigger-happy fandom and heap further hate onto my partner? Why, after everything that's happened, would someone do that? The only reason I can think of is - they care more about the attention they're getting from being with that person than the person's actual wellbeing.

Both him and his entire friend group changed their posting behavior post-Sorrento. Everyone... Except A. Now, I don't know what goes on in her comment sections, I don't go there nor do I wish to, so I don't know what she might be responding to with her posts. However, when everyone else in their circle has pulled back and learned lessons about fame and unhinged stalker behavior, why hasn't she? I used to make the argument of, well, she's a model and dancer, and therefore she has to maintain an SM presence to book jobs. Yet... These kinds of posts - the hints, the random limbs, the implied company, the specific timing and locations... These are things that contribute nothing to her professional aspirations. Most of them are empty landscapes and very generic photos without her in it. There's no purpose to them other than to maintain a back-and-forth with a small but captive audience that's build up around her. I now realize that I got this all wrong because to me, desiring and actively seeking out attention or fame is an alien concept - I don't understand why anyone would. But something about watching Portia say "my girl" to Pen after her speech and then remembering that that's exactly what A's mom commented on the papgate pics made me realize that I need to look at this from the POV of her having gone on a talent show and having a dad who's a DJ and how chasing fame (or in A's case, it's moreso notoriety) might not just be normalized, but perhaps even the "done thing" in her household. If my mom saw me plastered all over the tabloids with me and my partner looking freaked out and miserable, I'd really take issue with her if that was her reaction. What about that sordid incident was to be celebrated??? I understand now why so many people felt strongly it had been staged.

So now that my lens has shifted, I've been analyzing her actions from the POV of - what if they're calculated? And while L isn't entirely without fault here, he has course-corrected, so what's her endgame here? Both of their careers seem to have suffered. If I'm not mistaken, she used to be able to book better gigs, and while the Hollywood downturn is something that is happening, one has to wonder if all of this drama hasn't impacted L's ability to book roles, especially when compared to his costars' bookedness and busyness.

I was also thinking about all the WT-related events that she awkwardly tagged along to and what I would've done if I was in a situation like that, getting bombarded with hate from strangers over my very existence, but I liked the person and I wanted to stay with them. And honestly? I wouldn't have gone. Or at the very least, I would've been as discreet as possible. And while it's clear that it's L who had to invite her and he's the one who waffled on launching her until someone else did it for him, she could've conducted herself differently and at least flown under the radar more. Yet she elected to be photographed on red carpets, stepping out of cars with his family, knowing that people would pay attention to that group of people. What did she think would happen? That the public would swoon over her, someone with very little to her name? And it's like, at this point, she could stop. She should stop. L, R, S all have, to the best of my knowledge. But she can't seem to help herself. She had to make it known that she was in Spain with him, and for a second time, too. At this point I can no longer reasonably attribute these patterns of behavior to her age or inexperience. She's not changing her ways because she's feeding off of this. I mostly wasn't paying attention, but I was also naive, because I don't think like people who desire fame think. I just wonder where L is at with all of this and why he's going along with it still, is it rose-colored glasses? Does he feel guilty for everything that's transpired? Is he now stubborn and feeling petty, so he'll keep indulging her and trolling the fandom by proxy?

I was thinking about how there are so many celebrities whose partners I couldn't pick out of a lineup - I know they exist, but they aren't front and center. Some even have rabid female fanbases, yet they've managed to keep their private lives on the DL. I couldn't tell you what David Tennant's wife looks like, or Dan Stevens', or Jamie Dornan's, to name a few. There are actors who have been with their partners for a long time but almost never take them to events and they're still fine. So, I don't know if N&L landed in the spotlight too late in life so they still think of themselves as regular people and couldn't really anticipate this, but in A's case, given everything I know about her now, I'm honestly done giving her the benefit of the doubt. My biggest question now is - why does L continue to? And for how long? Is he complicit in these games or does it not even occur to him that's what they are, like in my case? I guess if we don't look too closely at things, we can't see them for what they are.

Anyway, I hope you're having a fun rewatch like I did and I hope our faves are safe and happy and DM burns to the ground, amen.

I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to respond to this ask because I was concerned it might add unnecessary drama to this whole situation. However, I thought about it and realised that you seem to be approaching this with a lot of empathy and depth, which I really appreciate. Your long, drawn-out paragraphs (which I definitely appreciate!) tell me you’ve put a lot of reflection into this.

You raise some interesting points about navigating a relationship with a public figure, especially when the partner isn’t someone in the public eye (and maybe they want to be and their family wants it for them as well). It’s understandable to wonder what someone would do in that position, especially when you see posts that seem to clash with the other's desire for privacy. Something about it feels like it's part of a social media game - or even a subtle taunting of the fans/fandom.

I do like that you questioned if it could be Antonia being Gen Z and that it might just be part of that always-online mentality, where sharing life moments (even indirectly) is natural, without considering public repercussions. But at the same time, if you’re dating a public figure who wants privacy, it would make sense to be more mindful. Part of being in the public eye is knowing that people will observe your every move, and when those closest to you don’t understand that reality, it will create issues.

I understand the shift in your perspective. When actions repeatedly go against someone’s implied boundaries, it raises questions about motivation and whether they’re prioritising attention (self-image or fame) over respecting the relationship they are in.

I noticed the change in the friend group after the Sorrento trip as well (I think I also mentioned it somewhere in a blog post), and while I will say Antonia did change her habits a bit (she deleted a number of Instagram posts of her trips with Luke), I agree that out of everyone, she’s still the one who continues to post and make it known that she may be with him (but then fan's also imply and spiral over the smallest things as well). It’s strange to continue doing that when you know these posts will only fuel ongoing speculation rather than help reduce it. And honestly, I think that, at this point, reducing speculation could only be beneficial for Luke. Antonia's posts seem more detrimental than supportive.

I’m sure fame would be hard to navigate, and I think it’s fair to say that, in certain situations, some people might see an opportunity to maintain or even leverage attention, regardless of how it might play out publicly.

In the end, I have no idea why any of the people in this situation continue to do what they’re doing, or why they keep posting things that only fuel more drama. I’ve mentioned before that maybe this is Luke’s way of not letting the fandom dictate his life - but, like you said, maybe he’s seeing things through rose-coloured glasses, or even feeling a sense of guilt or responsibility to make Antonia happy given the amount of hate she’s received. It could be any combination of loyalty, stubbornness, or simply him wanting to show support, even though the public perception won’t be positive. Luke could be trying to balance his desire to keep things private with Antonia’s approach, which may be different. But we won’t know for sure without knowing him personally (or being him!). It's all speculation and guesswork.

In the end, these kinds of things are complex, and I think reflecting on why people make the choices they do is absolutely valid and normal. But like I always say, there are so many possibilities for why things are taking place and unfolding the way they are. There are countless options and scenarios, both now and in the past, that could explain each action. Even if something seems clear, as fans, we don't know anything about motivations or anybody’s relationship status.

I really enjoyed reading your ask - it offers a lot to consider about how fame and notoriety affect both personal and professional lives, especially when someone’s actions seem intentional or at odds with their partner’s approach to privacy. So thank you!

I am having fun with my rewatch! I also wouldn't mind if DM burnt to the ground!

[vadersaber]

there's been a little bit of talk again surrounding dark fics, particularly for joel miller, and i think we should discuss some things.

these are just a few people who have addressed their concerns this past year regarding dark fics. others i have spoken with privately & they'd like to remain anonymous.

and why is that?

they're afraid of publicly saying how they feel about these fics. they are afraid of possibly being bullied by writers of such fics, which is INSANE. the fact that the go-to response when someone is critical of someone else's work is to bully or be mean or laugh in their face and say "it's just fiction lol just don't read it" is INSANE. being critical of someone's work DOES NOT MEAN they bully the writer or the fic itself and IT DOES NOT MEAN that they are being "the fandom police".

there does seem to be a huge influx of mostly dark fics in the tlou fandom. not sure why that is, but regardless, people may write from a place of trauma that they experienced themselves or from a place of simply wanting to explore the dark genre, and that is okay. it's very valid.

me personally, i don't really get how writing about your favorite character and non-con is any way helpful or good, but that is the way that I feel. it has nothing to do with the people writing it. i find it very, very odd, but again, that is how I see it. they see it differently, and that's okay.

maybe it would be more productive if writers who do post dark joel content would give an insight into their thoughts & ideas for those fics if they are asked about it or if the topic comes up. it would be interesting to understand their pov and such, instead of being met with bullying, mockery or being called names & harassed because they disprove of incest/SA, like it recently happened to one of my mutuals.

i think there are way more fitting characters to explore for dark fics but i understand why it is explored for joel; he suffered the biggest possible loss & has a rough past, so it does make sense from this pov to explore what would happen if he'd go down a darker path. but once again, before anyone gets mad, this is MY opinion. i don't think portraying joel, a caring, protective man, as a stalker who assaults you & makes you afraid of him is any way hot.

however, that is not to say hey, stop writing this. write whatever you want, tag it & warn it accordingly! but also try to understand & remember that when people say they are triggered by these fics, that they find them bizarre or gross etc. they are not attacking you. it's how they feel, and retaliating with bullying over their personal feelings is not helping the matter. it makes them more afraid to speak up or even be a part of the community they once loved.

[aihoshiino]

I had an idea for a time loop Oshi no Ko fic.

Start with the breakup conversation between Ai and Kamiki. Ai can tell that Kamiki's taking it badly, but what's done is done. For time loop reasons, Kamiki immediately tells a jealous stalker about Ai's pregnancy and home address, and she gets murdered within the week.

Ai gets booted back to some time before the breakup. Once she figures out what's going on, she has two goals: Take advantage of the time loop to find a better way to break up with Kamiki, and don't get murdered. (Obviously, she does not realize that there is a connection between these goals.)

As one of Tumblr's premier Ai Hoshino fans, do you think this idea sounds interesting or—? Well, if you don't, I doubt you'd actually post this ask.

genuinely unironically and with ten thousand percent sincerity i fucking love that the legacy of my online presence is '#1 hoshino ai wife guy'. this is what i was put on this earth to do.

Joking aside tho… Godddddd I've always loved the idea of an OnK timeloop fic!!!! I actually think the story lends itself really well to that kind of premise - the story revolves around this central tragedy as its axis and has just enough soft magic supernatural elements that you can so easily bullshit up a natural feeling reason for this to be happening. I also think this idea works surprisingly well in a thematic sense, too? OnK is about cycles, at least in the sense of generational echoes, but it's also about narratives, those created by and about us, and about moving on from past trauma to reclaim your right to the future. Timeloop stories are really natural and well suited vehicles for those sorts of themes.

I also think it would be super fun to play with in like, a metanarrative sense as well? Idr if this particular thought ever made its way onto tumblr, but I love rolling the idea in my brain of Ai being 'narratively cursed' in a sense. Because Ai as a character in a story is kind of defined by her fate - her role in OnK and any of its derivatives is defined by the question of whether or not she lives and even in stories where she survives, it still echoes. The idea of making that something the characters in the story have to tangibly grapple with me is super compelling to me. Like, maybe it's a KagePro sort of thing where, even if her death at Ryosuke's hands is prevented, her death on that day is 'fated'.

I think this could be a really cool reflection of something in the original text the story doesn't really get as much time to go into, that Ai's tragedy is simultaneously preventable and avoidable & inevitable and unstoppable, purely because of the way the deck was stacked against her. Even if there was no Ryosuke, there would have been a hundred other men with knives in their hands. Her "fate" is inevitable because it's the end result of a whole Rude Goldberg machine of systematic and individual choices made to exploit her for her whole life. Ai can't ever escape the narrative because she has no control over it. Her one act of rebellion against it - her decision to become Aqua and Ruby's mother - is the thing that cements her doom.

Because of this, I don't think I would actually want Ai herself to be the center of a loop story focused on saving her? Like, her being the POV character would be interesting but I think another character would need to be the main looper. This is because, for me… I actually don't think Ai can ever 'save' herself.

Not in the sense that she is incapable of doing so, but because saving herself would destroy any chance of her salvation in the first place. Her entire life, she has been failed by every single person who had the responsibility to love and protect her and she is forced to uplift herself as a result. Ai saving herself is the final proof to her that nobody was ever going to help her, that she cannot be authentically loved or accepted as she is. Kindness was always conditional. Her love was never reciprocated.

This is why she has to be saved by someone else - because her salvation is someone seeing both Hoshino Ai and Ai of B-Komachi and choosing Hoshino Ai. That's why her fate is inevitable. Because everyone else will always choose "Ai of B-Komachi". She can only be saved by a person who sees all of her and decides to unconditionally love and accept Hoshino Ai with the full understanding of everything that she is.

Because of that… I think Kamiki would be the ideal looper in a scenario like this. Not only does it provide salvation for Ai, but I also think it creates a really interesting route to salvation/redemption for Kamiki; presenting him with not just the opportunity but the necessity to undo his mistakes and repair the damage he caused and. in the process, come to finally, truly understand Ai as a person, not as his savior. And in doing so, Kamiki saves himself, too.

That's just how I'd do it, anyway…! I don't know that I'd ever have the energy or drive to write this sort of thing myself, but people are free to mine this for ideas for their own fics/AUs/etc.

[steddieunderdogfics]

For alternating POV challenge monday, I'm reccing Night Stalker by pyro_the_dragon. The alternating POV works in conjunction with an unreliable narrator mechanic that's really interesting.

Night Stalker by Pyro_the_Dragon

@pyro-the-dragon

Rating: Explicit

212,554 words, 12/12 chapters

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Tags: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Not Canon Compliant - Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2, Steve Harrington as Kas the Betrayer (Dungeons & Dragons), POV Steve Harrington, POV Eddie Munson, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Internalized Homophobia, Medical Trauma, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Possession Mystery, Body Horror, Steve’s bisexual crisis is not a speedrun, It is a marathon frequently derailed by supernatural interference, Steddie Big Bang 2023 (Stranger Things), steddiebang23, Unreliable Narrator

Summary

Eddie Munson lives. Max Mayfield wakes. And yet, the maw of Vecna’s gate yawns open. Steve grapples with the horror of a town sinking into Hell, trying his best to navigate upset teens, hovering parents, Robin’s discerning eye, blackout nights, and Eddie Munson’s constant presence. Eddie expects Hawkins High’s fallen King to leave his life just as quickly as he entered it, but fate has other plans. In a post-Vecna Hawkins, neither can resist the gravity well of consequence, because one fact changes everything: Dustin Henderson is hiding something.

Thanks for the rec!

This rec is a part of Challenge Monday. The challenge this week was Alternating POVs.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

Obviously

Prompt Day 3: Mutual Pining | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Brief Period-Typical Internalized Homophobia | Tags: Dual POV, Post-Season 4, Idiots in Love, Just Make a Move Already, Platonic Stobin, Eddie and Gareth are Best Friends

Steve

Steve waits outside of The Hideout, hoping Eddie will come out soon. He's trying to be casual about it, but he knows he's basically being a certified stalker. Robin is loving every embarrassing minute of his steady descent into madness.

"Just tell him, dingus. Ask him out," Robin says.

"Just like you asked out Vickie?" Steve says, "Or Nance? Why is it impossible for you, but is supposed to be easy for me?"

Robin rolls her eyes, "Because Eddie has a crush on you, too. Obviously."

"Obviously," he mocks, sarcastically.

He likes Eddie, and he's spent months dancing around that fact because he doesn’t really know how to just…say that. He wants to say it, wants to see if Eddie feels the same way. But Eddie’s never shown an ounce of interest. He steers clear of Steve, never does anything alone with him. Maybe they aren't friends. Maybe they are just two strangers that survived a traumatic experience together, and Steve's trying to make it into more than it ever was. Steve feels like they are friends, though, but Eddie sure isn't making it easy. He’s keeping Steve at an arm’s length and Steve is sure it’s because Eddie thinks he’s being weird.

He’s making this weird. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just…happening against his will.

The door to the bar opens, and Steve straightens up, "Shhh!" he hisses at Robin, and she just gives him the familiar face telling him he’s a dingus. He waits, and slumps again when he realizes it’s not Eddie. Then he hears a commotion from around the corner of the building, in the alley.

Car doors banging, loud arguing, just a general ruckus. He strains to hear. Maybe it’s Eddie. The van was parked back there, he saw it when he pulled up tonight.

"Do you think your boyfriend is still here?" comes the question from a voice, loud and cocky. 

"Shut up, Gareth," is the reply, and that’s definitely Eddie. They must be loading the van with their equipment. Usually they hang out first, but there’s another band following them tonight, so they must have had to load out early.

Steve wants to die. He’s been too obvious. Goddamnit, that's embarrassing. He’ll just slink off, and pretend this night never happened.

"Get in the car," he hisses at Robin, voice low and imploring, as he climbs off the trunk, and crawls into the driver’s seat of the BMW. She gets in next to him, and is staring at him. He refuses to look her way as he pulls out of the gravel parking lot, back onto the highway. They just won’t come back next Tuesday. He won’t, anyway.

No way in hell.

Eddie

"Stop it," Eddie says, putting Sweetheart into the back of the van, making sure she’s secure and won’t get banged around by the rest of the gear. "He’s not my boyfriend and you damn well know it. Steve Harrington? Into me? The Freak? Unlikely."

Gareth scoffs, "Dude keeps hanging around like a little lost puppy. You have eyes, dontcha? He’s into you."

"He’s not into me, drop it," Eddie says, helping Gareth load his drums. There’s a very particular order to repacking the van, and if they don’t do it right, it’s gonna suck dick, and not in the good way.

"He is," Gareth argues, and this kid will never let him get the last word, that’s just the way of the world.

"Gareth. Steve is straight. As an arrow, and I’m pretending to be, too. So, knock it off. I don’t want the town hunting me down for being a different kind of freak."

Gareth looks at him, and lowers his voice, "He likes you, Eddie. He just doesn’t know how to tell you that. I’m sure of it."

"Great. You’re sure of it. Let me get my ass kicked on your hunch."

"Eddie," Gareth says, putting both hands on Eddie's shoulders, "Steve Harrington isn’t going to kick your ass. Steve Harrington nearly died to save you. Steve Harrington keeps coming to this shitty bar, to hear us play shitty music he hates. Pull your head out of your ass."

Eddie sighs. Steve saved him, that much is fucking true. But that has nothing to do with liking him. That’s just Steve. He wanted to protect his flock, and somehow, Eddie’s in it. Eddie’s supposed to have his own sheep to tend to, not be one of Steve’s sheep. It’s weird.

Eddie climbs in the driver’s seat and Gareth climbs in beside him. 

"You should just give him a sign. A little one. Steve will run with it, swear to god. He's a brave fool, like that. I know it. Do something small. Just. Give him a little bit of hope, and…" Gareth says, slapping his hands together, "you’re in there."

Eddie loves him, but Gareth's an idiot. But, maybe this isn't totally terrible advice?

Steve

Steve sits out by his pool. It took a lot of time to be able to return to it, after Barb. He kicks his foot, splashing the water, and stops when he hears something walking through the brush. He doesn't have a weapon, but he's thinking about pushing himself up to standing when he sees Eddie coming through the trees.

Steve relaxes and laughs, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, I just thought your neighborhood might not appreciate me in their midst," Eddie says, moving over and toeing off his shoes to sit down beside him.

They haven't been this close since Steve was forcing him up through the gate, trying to save him.

"You didn't stay after tonight," Eddie says, softly.

"Oh, well, uh, I thought maybe you didn't want me to, anymore," Steve admits.

"I wanted you to," Eddie says, glancing over at him, smiling, just a little, and then he lays his hand on Steve's knee. 

Holy shit. 

This is an opening. Steve's sure, and he's gonna take it.

Steve smiles, and leans in for a kiss.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my tag, right here!

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Fic Recs | Vol 7

Howdy, folks! It's time for this week's recap of what I read :)

As always, you can find the spreadsheet here, and you're always more than welcome to tag me in your fic if you'd like to be included. New and old fics both appreciated; anything from a drabble to a 400k word series is fine; and the only Pedro boy I don't really read is Pero Tovar.

Without further ado here are the fics I read this week and the unhinged ramblings of a madwoman (me) to substitute for a coherent recommendation.

One for the money, two for the show a Joel series by @cowgurrrl

Rockstar!Joel AU with such a sweet fake dating trope lead in and then the most delicious yummy angst. As your resident angst whore this was everything because it was so REAL and so fucking heartbreaking. And then the happy little hopeful ending and then all the drabbles and extras??? AH! My favorite part was the lil instagram stories i think <3

sharing is caring a Frankie/Santi one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Your friend Santi introduces you to his friend Frankie and uhhhh you guys go make a sandwich.

Only Lovers Left Alive a Joel series by @atinylittlepain

I love every single thing about this. Revenge. Vampires. Blood play kind of? Biting. Etc. This shit rocks.

Waiting Room a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

I fucking love what kel did with this song. The repetition of one for the road really fuckin got me too. Angst angst angst.

The Special One a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

What if a reluctant soulmates AU was also a vampire!Joel AU? It would be perfect, that's what. I'm loving vampire!joel rn anyway, but this was such a cool twist on it. Also his vibes in this are fucking immaculate

Copycat Killer a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

Bitch this is so good. Stalker!Reader x Rockstar Joel... fucking perfect. I love how they both kind of suck as human beings a little bit. And that blow job oh my GOD.

Sweet Creature a Dieter series by @wildemaven

I really really love how this story is going. The little town is so real to me and I love all the little places we get to see. The bookstore sounds like a DREAM. And I can't wait for Reader to bond with D over art ahhhhh.

Stitches a Din series by @djarinsbeskar

This fic is so fucking good dude. I love the set up for the whole thing and the reader character is really fuckin' cool. The like... 8 consecutive parts of incredible smut that continues to be genuinely interesting and really fucking hot even after like 200K words is extremely impressive. I'm also pretty sucked into the story and the way Medic is being interwoven into canon. Oh and the introspection we get from Din's POV is *chef's kiss*.... anyway pls god finish this story i need it

False God a Frankie series by @swiftispunk

Frankie asking for what he wants is so... yummy... especially when it's wanting to be your subby lil pussy eating king like... PLEASE. And his praise kink??? I am in Frankie heaven

102 a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

I fucking love this ahhhh. I felt so bad for Frankie but also their friendship is so cute??? I love the unrequited love//idiots to lovers trope

Safe in my Arms an Ezra one shot by @mishasminion360

Ezra struggling to adjust to having one less limb and me crying about it. This was so fucking good. The raw emotion he feels and reader's unwavering support... the realism in saying something that accidentally hurts his feelings and trying to take over tasks he might find difficult AGH. I love this so much

Leave Off Your Wandering a Joel series by @oonajaeadira

Adira, I fall in love with every single little world you create without fail. This is obviously no exception. Your sheep ranch is a dream. The way you build up this backstory with the Roostlings and the friendship with Tommy and Maria and just all these extra little details you take the time to flesh out and weave into the story... makes my heart sing, friend. I adore this <3

-------- fics i read a while ago and never recommended -------

Name a Javi P one shot by @joelscruff

Consent a Dieter series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Whiskey, Dark and Deep a Jack one shot by @prolix-yuy

Stay on the Screenplay a Dieter series by jazzelsaur (ao3)

A Safe Haven a Joel series by @joelsgreys

Psychomanteum a Dieter series by @whatsnewalycat

In Name Only an Oberyn series by @forever-rogue

------

I haven't written a word in weeks, so once again no updates for me :/

-----

Happy Reading

[hannahbarberra162]

Country Mouse, City Mouse Chapter 4

Now on Ao3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Chapter 4 - Idle Time

Y/N POV

Mihawk’s comment surprised you. You had a huge crush on him, but you hadn’t been sure if it was reciprocated. Mihawk was reserved, it was hard to read how he really felt under his calm and collected surface. You enjoyed his company, his dry sense of humor, and his intelligence. You also enjoyed teasing him to no end. He made it so easy! Who else had an endless array of flouncy shirts, none of which seemed to close in the front? Who else brought his giant sword every. single. day. to the farm strapped to his back? Who else would tell Zoro “your training has far less impact on the world than my current engagement; leave me,” when you two were cutting off the heads of hookworms with butter knives? He was charming, well spoken, intelligent, funny, and incredibly good looking. You were excited for the possibility of a fling, even if you were leaving at the end of the season.

So you decided to put the swordsman to the test and find out exactly what his feelings were.

Mihawk POV

Once he understood his own feelings towards you, he was a man possessed. Mihawk found himself thinking over your interactions again and again. He thought of your smile, your charm, the way you never addressed him by name - only ludicrous pet names. He didn’t mind that you were uninterested in his titles, accolades, his power or his money. If anything, it made him feel free to interact with you naturally, not wondering if you had an ulterior motive or would report his every word back to another.

He thought of the way you were so dedicated to your work, your positivity, not to mention your elegant body. You favored loose long sleeved shirts made of gauzy fabric, to keep the sun’s rays off you during the heat of the day. You wore large overalls or loose pants for the same reason. He had gotten glimpses of your body, but he wanted to see exactly what you looked like underneath the baggy workwear. The previous women in Mihawk’s life had worn expensive gowns, form fitting designer outfits, and high end lingerie. He would bet on Yoru that you did not have any of these items. Those outfits were exciting in their own way, but he yearned to see under your billowing shirts.

Perona had been giving her unsolicited opinion on the matter. She said he was “crushing hard” and indicated that you would be open to a romantic liaison. Mihawk did not know how she had surmised the information, but the Ghost Princess was correct. She offered to act as a go between, but Mihawk declined the offer. Matters of the heart must be dealt with directly.

He wished to see you when you weren’t working, but you were always off amusing yourself on the island. Perona said he was a “stalker,” but really he just wanted to keep an eye on you. You engaged in foolish behaviors non-stop he thought, so someone had to be responsible. Thus, he kept watch over what you did in your free time, just to be safe. He had recorded that you partook in some of the following unusual activities:

Tied a rope to a branch overhanging the river and used it to swing yourself into the water.

Climbed the tallest tree on the island and sat in it for an hour.

Started reading a chapter book to the humandrills, which they found interesting. You read to them almost nightly now.

Laid on a blanket in the shade and watched the clouds roll by.

Convinced one of the humandrills to throw you (not far, thankfully) into the ocean, after which you’d swim back to shore.

Stargazed when the night sky was clear.

Sang while walking about in the rain to no particular destination.

Jumped into piles of hay, which you then had to recollect.

And many, many other such events. None of these events had any direct benefit to you. He couldn't understand how you moved through life with such ease. Although, he was a touch envious of your freedom. You did not feel beholden to anyone or anything. You were like a butterfly, floating beautifully from place to place. 

Once, he found you laying and swaying in a hammock by the river with your hat over your face. You had attached a fishing line to your toe, with the rest of the line in the water. You were rocking gently in the breeze, without a care in the world. He did not understand what he was looking at.

“What are you doing?” You removed the hat off your face.

“Isn’t it obvious, cupcake? I’m fishing.”

“This cannot be efficient. How will you know if you catch a fish?”

“The line will yank my toe of course.”

“I do not believe you are trying your hardest to catch a fish.”

“‘Course I’m not, why would I?”

“To achieve your goals? To work for what you want?”

“Hmmm…I think that’s the difference between you and me. Don’t bother me none if I don’t catch the fish. That is, if we’re still talkin’ about fishin’.”

“It is important to have a driving desire, goals, with the ambition to move forward.”

“I don’t worry too much ‘bout it. I don’t really have goals. I just kinda go where the wind blows me. Take life one day at a time. You only go around once, y’know.” With that, you put the hat back over your face and ended the conversation.

Y/N POV

The last few weeks with Mihawk had been interesting. He seemed to be watching you a little closer, but you didn’t mind. You were living your life, enjoying things as they came. He didn’t say any further romantic statements to you, but you could bide your time.

It was the hottest day of the season. It was absolutely miserable outside - muggy, buggy, overcast, and far too hot. Unfortunately, you still had some work to finish outside, so you were sweating like a stuck pig. Normally, you wore long sleeves but it was just too hot outside. You were wearing your string bikini and work boots. You didn’t want anything else touching your skin - it was just too hot.

You knew Mihawk was coming up behind you because you got a whiff of lemonbalm. Without turning around, you said “what’s new, pussycat?” 

Mihawk ignored the pet name, and said “I thought you might enjoy a refreshing beverage due to the weather.” He was holding a large glass of lemonade - with ice!

You looked behind you, smiled brightly, and replied “I most certainly would, thank you boss-man. Lemme just finish what I’m workin’ on and I’ll gladly take that drink.”

He studied you for a moment, and said “that is not appropriate work wear.”

“Says you, I don’t wear brocade pants to dig in the dirt.”

“I am simply stating that it does not provide sufficient coverage. I suggest you take it off.”

“Alright.” With that, you reached behind you and pulled the string to your bikini. It unraveled and you tossed it over your head, leaving your boobs free. You were no shy virgin, and you didn’t want to pretend to be one. 

Mihawk POV

Dracule Mihawk was an aloof and indomitable man. He was the strongest swordsman alive, one of the seven Warlords of the sea, and former Marine hunter. He had slain hundreds of men, fought and won the strongest and best the world had to offer, had sliced giant ships with just the slash of his sword. He destroyed fleets of ships on a whim. He was feared and revered the world over.

And yet, when you took off your top, Mihawk blushed. He could not compute when you simply shucked your top, leaving your beautiful breasts free. He was not a prude by any means, but your casual nudity almost shocked him.

He didn’t turn around or look away. You were bold, so he returned the sentiment. You got up from the ground, ambled over to him, took the glass from his hand and said “why, thank you, sugar. Just what the doctor ordered.”

Mihawk had been admiring your body in the bathing suit. He had never seen you with so little clothing, and he enjoyed what he saw. Your body was flawless, and he was savoring the sight. He didn’t bother to pretend he wasn’t staring.

“What?” you said in a teasing tone. “Never seen a pair of tits before?”

“None so perfect as yours.”

[loveneversleepss]

Straykids as Yandere/Tsundere fics! 18+

a/n: difference between yandere & tsundere. Yandere believes their person of interest can do no wrong, are obsessive and a stalker. Tsundere is cold and doesn't reveal their feelings easily, defensive and comes off as a bully.

warnings: contains cursing, mentions of kidnapping & killing, obsession, stalking, trauma, manipulation, depression, suicide, stockholm & lima syndrome, being forced, switch povs, smut, weapons, bad endings.

Chan: both. "There's not a thing in the world, i wouldn't do for you."

I've always felt like I was alone. That there was no one like me. I thought no one understood. Until you, you were exactly like me.

Read here.

Changbin: Tsundere. "Nothing else matters. You will be mine."

There is nothing you could ever do that i wouldn't forgive you for. Watching you from afar. Where you go, I will follow.

coming soon..

Lee know: Tsundere. "I've always felt empty. Until there was you."

Life was boring, dull, cold and dark. Everyday felt the same. Until a particular girl saved me. She saw something in me.

Read here..

Hyunjin: Yandere. "Your lips were made for mine. We belong together."

I think you are the most perfect girl i've ever laid my eyes on. The perfect portrait. I want you to be mine. You were made for me.

Read here

Han jisung: Yandere. "If i can't have you, no one can."

Do you really think he can make you happy? I am the only one for you. I can't wait to give you the life you deserve. We deserve.

coming soon..

Felix: Yandere. "When I think of you, I have another reason to live."

How could it come to this? The one girl who has never once shown a frown, is giving up on life. I will help you, make you happy.

Read here

Seungmin: Both. "life without you, has no meaning."

I will do anything for you. I will never make you feel unloved. I will always be here for you. Even if you don't care.

Read here

Jeongin: Tsundere. "You can't have her. She belongs to me."

My lifelong dream girl. You will always be mine. No other man can have you. You are mine. You will be mine. You belong to me.

coming soon..

a/n: hii everyone. i got inspired by one of my fav tv shows, you from netflix. ive decided i got bored with my other fic so imma start a new type of fics. i will probably stick to this but it might take a while to finish all lol. comment for taglist!

[boneskullravenriver]

I'm trying to get back into reading and less time dicking about on TikTok. Because I want to finally finish words of radiance. And according to a note I have in obsidian (where I have a book tracker thing I cobbled together).... I started this book in OCTOBER (2024). It is now January of 2025. Lmao.

I'm in the later half of the book so... I've had this event thing set on my calendar to remind me to read 50 pages a day. It's a big annoying full screen notification that buzzes when it pops up on my phone at exactly the same time every day. So I put in some ambiance music on my laptop and I set a stopwatch to time how long it takes me to read 50 pages.

Hopefully at this pace I can finish soon. Been trying to Pavlov myself into reading and not going "oh, I'm gonna do this tomorrow..." *Tomorrow comes* "nah, the next day!"

Then I don't read for like a month lol.

It's been going good so far. I have this small, really small notebook that I jot down what page I've started at, what page I'm aiming for, the date.. what book I'm reading, and then really short hand-ish indicators on what pages I find interesting, maybe a brief comment to remind myself why I found it interesting (not too long) so I can go back to my obsidian book tracker thing to expand on it later where I have more space to write.

I also write down the amount of time it took me to read (from the stop watch).

It's a lot and I know some folks will ask "why can't you just go... Read?? Why all the extra shit?"

Well, you see, my attention span is so shit nowadays. Even though I might like whatever book I'm reading, my brain goes "won't it be easier to just watch a video, or spend the whole day scrolling TikTok for cheap entertainment?" Because it's less of mental energy to do that.

Reading means engaging with a story. Understanding what's going on, or figuring out what's going on, and picking up whatever small hints the author is trying to put down. If you're watching a TV show, you get these things from visual or auditory cues.

Like, slightly ominous music or making the POV look like it's from the perspective of a stalker coming up behind the protagonist in a scary movie or something. In books, you don't get that. It's through words. Character actions and other things. That requires you to be engaged, not passive.

I'm also trying to read more because i feel like I wrote better whenever I was reading more. I have this old document of a story I wrote in highschool.. and I was blown away by how much I seemed to have imitated the pacing and story structure of the books I was reading back then. I was crafting a story with plot and struggle for my characters to get through... But also not neglecting their relationships with one another and giving them all different quirks so they weren't all the same.

I was doing all of that without outlining, without banging my head against a wall trying to figure it all out. I was just... Doing it. I remember typing most of it on my phone on Google docs (I didn't have a computer for a long while because my old one became busted) like wtf!!

And I remember distinctly thinking to myself "I'm such a bad writer... I don't know where I'm going with this"

And then I come back, years later looking this over like... Damn... I was cooking something!

Little snippet I found:

I dont mind sharing this since it doesn't really show explicit detail about the story or anything so it's whatever. This is from at least... I think.... 2017 or 2018 I want to say? So would have been 16 or 17 lol.

I even had a trans character before I really understood what that was, which shocked me lol

[ladytauria]

Hi tauria bb 💜 can you choose a 500 word snippet from one of your published fics or wips and give us some director's commentary / insight into what you were thinking when you wrote it?

hello darling <3

instead of doing a 500 word snippet i decided to give um... entire fic commentary. basically? more or less picking out lines/sections and giving my thought process, bc it's fun to do that sometimes <3 thank you for giving me the space to---even if i did have to pick a fic by making a list and rolling a die dfghjk

i ended up picking "trust & feathers," my jaytim wing fic <3

Jason feels the blood feather break.

i had this line written down for ages before starting the prompt. before jaytim week was even announced, actually, lmao. i hadn't known when i wrote it if i was going to keep the entire fic from jason's POV or not, but i liked the line... liked it so much i used it as the summary too lmao.

Tonight, though, he’d rather be on Tim’s good side. Jason uses his codes at one of the side entrances. Tim is already waiting in the main area of the Nest when he comes in. He’s standing in front of the monitors; arms braces against his desk chair. The way his cape drapes over his shoulders, the ends sweeping over the floor, past the ends of dark primaries… It reminds Jason so strongly of Bruce that he has to stop and blink to clear the image away. He waits for the anger to rise. Prepares to swallow it down, stopping himself from lashing out at someone who—currently—doesn’t deserve it. It doesn’t come. Grief hits him instead; swelling in his chest and climbing up into his throat, threatening to choke him. He swallows hard and shakes himself before forcing his feet forward.

this is one of my favorite parts of the fic.

i don't think i've explored it a lot in fic, but. i feel like when he first starts spending time with tim---in my mind, usually post-red robin, when things are still Weird and Unsettled between all of the bats---that tim reminds him a lot of bruce despite tim's best efforts to not be bruce.

and for as much as jason respects tim's abilities, i feel like that makes it hard for them, early on.

the differences start to shine through, even at the start, until it's not so bad, but i feel like jason comparing tim to bruce is something that takes time for him to stop doing? but it was really interesting to do here because like... tim doesn't always remind jason of now bruce. he reminds tim of old bruce. bruce-before-he-died. softer-bruce. kinder-bruce. more-open-bruce. and for jason this particular moment is the first time that really hits as actual grief, rather than grief-masked-by-anger.

i couldn't explore it in the fic bc that wasn't the thesis, per se, but i like adding in little details like that. they're a treat for me. and readers. but mostly for me in the moment xD

It’s almost imperceptible, but Jason has spent longer than he would like to admit studying Tim. He knows, intimately, the lines and curves of Tim’s face; the way his mouth usually sits, the sharp slope of his nose, the droop of his eyes. If he had any talent for art at all, he thinks he could sketch Tim from memory.

if my memory serves, i believe i have a cut version of this paragraph that included a tangent about jason's stalker days. i should save it in my scribbles doc, so i remember to one day write a fic that's like. stalker!tim tropes but reversed.

i think it would be fun ;)

Tim’s surprise leaves Jason uncomfortably aware of what he’s asking. Offering. It’s not the first time he’s come to Tim for help with an injury… but he’s never offered up anything so vulnerable as an injured wing before. For a moment, he’s tempted to take it back. Go to Leslie instead—or take his chances with a bathroom mirror. He’s no Grayson, but he thinks he’s bendy enough to manage… “Let me look at it,” Tim says, surprise gone as quickly as it had come. Determination replaces it— and Jason knows there’s no turning back now.

i did my best to demonstrate tim's thought process from jason's pov haha. but tim goes through like. a few stages here. first it's shock that jason would ask him for this. tim gave jason keycodes to his nest, so clearly there's some level of trust and relationship there, but i feel like tim was never quite sure just how reciprocated it was. this is a Big Thing that jason is offering and tim knows it. it's a little humbling for him, lmfao, and there's definitely a split second of panic where he wonders if he's going to screw it up, before firmly deciding: no. no he's not. he's going to be calm and professional and prove that jason's trust in him is well placed.

Jason settles in it awkwardly; his wings fluttering. It takes more effort than it should to still them.

i tried really hard to incorporate their wings into the body language descriptions, as well as to try and imagine what a world would be like if everyone had wings, lol. the latter didn't come up so much for this fic, but i think i might try to do more with it in the next?

Abruptly, Jason decides he doesn’t care. It’s been too damn long since anyone touched his wings without the intent to break. He’ll decide later if the consequences, whatever they may be, were worth it. Tim opens his mouth, but Jason speaks first, “Sure,” he says, shrugging carelessly. “Why not?”

this part was so important to me.

in a lot of touch-starved fics, the hunger is satisfied sort of... accidentally? someone touches them, the person breaks, and melts into their arms. and look. i love that. i eat that shit up.

BUT.

i've said before but. there is is something just so... *clenches fist* to me about willing vulnerability. the choice to allow someone in. it comes up in my fics a lot and will KEEP coming up in my fics, lmfao

it's just so fucking yummy to me, to have a character ask for what they need and then be given it, no strings attached

Jason stills. He realizes, abruptly, what Tim must see—the disheveled mess of feathers, solid, flat black where they should shine like an oil slick. Grooming has always been a social activity. A way to bond with the flock, smoothing oil over hard to reach places; waterproofing feathers to make them shine. The last person to groom Jason’s feathers was Talia—and that had been long before he returned to Gotham. Since then, he’s been on his own. He’s done the best he can with a shower and some twisting but— It’s not enough.

more fun wing body language!

but also this part was semi-inspired by my absolute fave preening fic of all time: Wingipedia by startingatmidnight. it's a fanfic for the Lucifer (Netflix) show, and it's just--- god i love it so much.

but one of my fave things about it was like. the contrast between lucifer's wings groomed vs ungroomed, and so that influenced me to do that here, too haha

It’s the only sign of his nerves from before. Even the blush has faded, mostly, leaving behind only a faint rosy hue to his cheeks. Makes him look less like he’s seconds away from dying of a vitamin-D deficiency.

this line just makes me giggle

When his eyes have adjusted, he shrugs out of his jacket, folding it before draping it over the low table. Then he skims his fingers over the clasps of his armor. He hesitates. He can hear Tim moving around in the kitchen—a cabinet door shuts before water hisses from the faucet. He’s come this far. He’s not going to back out now. Jason ignores his nerves, forcing himself to undo the clasps one by one, bypassing the securities as he goes. Then he lets the chest piece fall on the table with a thud. It’s joined by his undershirt a few moments later. Finally, he unholsters his weapons, laying them carefully on the table as well. Jason stands, bare chested, in the middle of the room, several pounds lighter than he was before. Maybe he should have left the undershirt on. It would get a little messy, but who cares? The faucet turns off. Jason resists the urge to redress, sitting back down instead.

a few things to comment on here!

when his eyes have adjusted: i like to imagine that their domino lenses filter out the glare of headlights/streetlights? like yeah, fics usually have it where they can flip them up too so maybe he should have done that when walking in but. anyway. but that's what that line is for if anyone was curious fghj

tim cleaning up the first aid kit and washing his hands is, of course, just good hygiene and safety practice. BUT it was also an attempt on his part to give jason the chance to change his mind. if jason had left here, he would have been disappointed, but i think he wouldn't have brought it up again unless jason avoided him for too long after, lol

and then finally: more of that 'choosing to be vulnerable' stuff. jason has a chance to leave, to take it back, and he doesn't. instead he deliberately and literally strips out of his armor <3

Jason’s hands clench tighter, blunt nails digging into the meat of his palms. The pain is grounding. Gives him something else to focus on. Something other than the way nerves light up under his skin; prickling in a way that borders on painful. Tim keeps stroking Jason’s wing, tugging gently on his feathers to make them lay straight. With each pass, his fingers brush against Jason’s preening gland. Each touch winds him up a little tighter; the muscles in his back and shoulders bunching into knots under his skin. He has to bite his tongue not to tell Tim to just get the fuck on with it already. Maybe Tim can tell that Jason is close to bolting. He buries his hand in Jason’s feathers as his thumb presses down on Jason’s oil gland. The noise he makes is low and strangled—he presses his mouth into his arms, breath hot and humid against his skin. He can feel himself shaking. Despite himself, he finds his wing pushing back into Tim’s hand—and Tim accommodates him, pressing firmer still as he massages around and over the gland. Jason can just feel the oil dribbling from it, slightly warmer than body temperature. He thinks he might be crying; silent tears beading on his lashes before rolling down his cheeks. If Tim can tell, he doesn’t say.

the entire preening section gave me so much trouble. i really wanted to sit down and nail the tone just right; to really delve deep into the intimacy. 'cause like... the premise is that jason hasn't let anyone near his wings, right? and sure. i said why, but i wanted to show too. to give it proper emotional weight, and make his choice to be vulnerable, and the anxiety and apprehension around it, feel like it meant something.

emotional payoff, i guess.

Tim chuckles. He has to rise to his feet as he moves further down Jason’s wing. He stops to gather more oil first, smearing it further down the ridge of his wing, where it starts to coat his primaries.

i researched wing anatomy for this fic. i wasn't going to. i was just gonna sit down and write based off of my experience reading wingfic. but i couldn't not do it. and then once i looked up what different feather types were called-- well. i quickly realized that while a couple names are recognizable not all of them are lmfao

i have forgotten what i learned but im pretty sure i remembered take worldbuilding notes

Tim starts over again; combing through the soft, downy feathers near his spine. The first glancing brush of his fingers against Jason’s second preening gland isn’t quite as overwhelming as the first. It’s still a lot. He may have grown used to it on the other wing, but this one is still unused to touch. The nerves under his skin prickle again. Tim takes it slow, just like before. By the time he starts to massage Jason’s gland, the prickling has become a pleasurable tingling. He sinks into it with a sigh. Jason drifts, allowing himself to lose track of time entirely. Drowsiness weighs heavy on his limbs; his thoughts turning syrupy. Tim continues stroking his wing long past when he’s finished grooming it. Jason doesn’t notice at first; not until he realizes Tim has moved back to the middle of his wing. Maybe Jason should say something, but he’s not ready for this moment to be over, either. All things must end, though, and this is no exception. Tim’s hand slips from his wing.

i don't remember which line it was exactly but i remember having trouble with this section and reaching out to one of the servers im in for help. ty again abyss and marz <3

“Do… If you want, I could… return the favor,” Jason offers, wincing internally at how hesitant he sounds. He doesn’t realize how much he wants to until Tim shakes his head, and disappointment blooms in his chest. Makes sense, though. In Tim’s place, he’s not sure he’d want himself grooming his wings either. “Not tonight.” Tim glances at the window. The first light of dawn is starting to creep over the horizon. Jason’s brow furrows. He hadn’t realized they’d been here that long—that he had taken so many hours of Tim’s time. He turns back to Tim, opening his mouth to apologize, but this time, Tim is the one to speak first. “But…” There’s something almost nervous creeping around the edges of his expression. “Maybe another day?”

tim's refusal here isn't just about the dawn coming up lmao. it's also definitely because both of them are overwhelmed, emotionally, from this experience haha

but it's also an excuse to see jason again--to see if they can keep this quiet intimacy / new closeness they've developed.

and also ofc i had to throw in a little self-deprecating jason bc i'm me

Jason gives him a two-fingered salute. “‘Til next time,” he says, and then slips out the window, and into the morning light.

i actually really wanted to write part two with this and have them all be one fic, but i was running out of time for jaytim week at this point and while i could have posted late i really wanted to post on time, bc i never had before.

and also this was written and posted in the middle of a really bad couple of months for me, lol, and i wasn't sure i had it in me to write more at the time

but for now! this is where the fic ends <3 i do have the sequel started; i finished the first section and am about to move to tim showing up at jason's place ;) but who knows how long it'll take to write

thank you again for sending this ask and giving me the opportunity to ramble <3

and ALSO thank you to anyone who read all of this, lmao. i hope you enjoyed!!!