#stab me malenia

[huggingtentacles]

I violated the law because I was thinking about Malenia's cock

[huggingtentacles]

Fucking spot on.

I've been playing fromsoft games for 6000 hours when I hopped into Elden Ring. It took me around 140 hours to get to Malenia. I had experience.

I know how to make great builds, my timings are good, my reaction time is okay, I got my spacing down to a science, and I breezed through most of the game with no summons, with no boss taking me more than 20 attempts. I know these games. What could go wrong?

Let me tell you, everything. Malenia fucking crushed me. I got SMOKED. She walked out of so many fights just straight up with full health. I couldn't believe my eyes. After so many years, finally a fromsoft boss that captured that feeling I had back when I started. Meeting an obstacle that seems impossible and feels bullshit, and takes time and effort to unravel and solve. I thought this is it. This is the best boss From Software made for this game. Maybe the best boss they ever made.

And I beat her. No summons, no magic, just a pure dexterity build with a naginata. After eleven hours of attempts. The most I ever spent on a bossfight.

And then I went on the internet. And APPARENTLY being challanged and having your limits tested in a FROMSOFT GAME is what makes you "BAD" and "BULLSHIT"

I saw all of these "hardcore gamers" seethe with frustration as this tall hot lady crushed their jaws, their controllers and their egos. Reddit flares up with "From Software went too far" and "Malenia is overtuned" posts. It was funny, yes, but also kinda insufferable. Being a gatekeeper no longer gives you karma on that damned website, so elitist fucks got replaced by the complaining fucks. A guy who actually liked this boss and learned how to fight her got ascended to the legendary status.

And while all of that was happening, one of the patches actually made Malenia register hits from the host's side, which made her unkillable in coop on higher latency. "Malenia isn't actually supposed to be beatable" jokes started popping up which didn't help her reputation at all.

All of that made actually liking Malenia as a bossfight quite unpopular. Which is a shame, because she is the deepest fight in the game, that demands practice, intimate knowledge of game mechanics, physical skills and mental fortitude.

I've basically mastered this fight. I beat her on rule level 1. I beat her without taking damage multiple times. I beat her for people in coop. I've never gotten a compliment for my PvE skills before, but with her I get a message praising me every day, which makes me really happy.

People compare her to a Sekiro boss, because she's a tall human with a katana that hits you a lot and gives little openings. Which is obviously very wrong, but there is a tiny bit of truth to that — you dodge long sequences of attacks looking for a "combo finisher" which gives you the punish. The better you are at the game the more safe punishes you get. The phantom attack, Waterfowl Dance, Scarlet Aeonia can be dodged perfectly and consistently, and you're rewarded with a hit for doing so (if you aren't afraid of going for it that is)

Her fight is deep, it's fun, it's rewarding, and once you master it, you feel on top of the world. Because let's be fair, not many people managed that. Malenia kills 10 people per second.

I think having bosses like her is incredibly good for the game. It's a headline-worty encounter. She doesn't just create hype for the game, she gives seasoned veterans a challange, which is not easy to do with the souls formula at this point! I love Malenia, and I can't wait for what From Software have in store for me in the upcoming DLC!

Ok, so if you know me well you know my undying, irrepressible love for Malenia, Blade of Miquella. And there are literally hundreds of reasons why. Some are for mechanical reasons, some for transgender reasons, some are for horny reasons, and some are for her just existing reasons.

But the biggest reason I absolutely LOVE Malenia, Goddess of Rot, is…

That she is the biggest “fuck you” to all of the toxic hardcore gamers out there. Maybe she’s bullshit. Maybe Scarlet Aeonia has too much reach, maybe Waterfowl Dance wastes even the strongest of players, and maybe Phantom Spirits cannot physically be dodged completely. But she heals on hit and even the most seasoned of Dark Souls people struggle with her. And it makes me the happiest fucking person on the planet.

Destiny doesn’t have that. The boss that literally savages even the most hardcore gamers. She’s a brutal counter to all of those bros that say “just get good lol”. And maybe you cheese her. Maybe you skip her and glitch her to hell, but you can’t honestly say you beat her unless you fought her fair and untethered and I absolutely love it. Fighting her takes genuine practice even with the best builds and you can’t recreate that.

Also, she’s kicking your ass with only two limbs and two prosthesis. She is the perfect example of “my trauma and physical disabilities do not define me and I’m gonna hand you your ass on a silver platter no matter what issues I have”.

[valkyurii]

the knee to the chest. that’s hot

[balteus]

tbf the most fascinating part of radahn as a boss and character to me isn't even the horsegirl\war general aspect of him. it's the fact that he uses spears people stabbed him with as arrows. that's metal as fuck.

[fujimilovers]

ill be real souls games are for lesbian perverts and brother. i own all of them

[maranull]

The Journey Back

Final Chapter: Reaching Home

Fic Summary: A retelling of Malenia’s Bloom during the battle at Caelid and Finlay’s journey back to the Haligtree.

Rating: Mature Word count: 16160 Genre: Action/Adventure, Tragedy Chapters: 11/11 Status: Complete Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

[drenched-in-sunlight]

very opionated talk underneath the cut

this is what I get for keeping checking out the fandom tag, but oh well 😭

seeing the reasoning behind the “Marika and Godfrey would have been proud of Godrick for the grafting” take is so wild to me like… are we just going to ignore the fact that Nepheli - who is implied to be Godfrey’s descendants, said Godrick’s deeds “taint the very wind” and helped us beat his ass and it’s her who later becomes the rightful Lord of Stormveil ?

+ Roderika, who is thematically a reflection of the girl Marika was pre-Godhood, losing all her companions and being left alone scared shitless and heartbroken in a shack, blaming herself for not being strong enough, brave enough to go die with her friends, all because Godrick is making a mockery of Godfrey’s name and enacting the same tragedy that befell Marika’s people ?

Like, I can sorta see why people refuse to see the Living Jars in the Lands Between as Marika reclaiming a practice that was tainted by the Hornsent deeds, returning it into something done to honor the dead and let them be returned to the Erdtree to continue the cycle of life - death - rebirth (is scattering ashes of the deceased to the sea not a thing in many irl cultures anymore or am I going crazy), cuz if one has certain…views on her, it can be hard to see anything she does in a positive light (actually even if you don’t see it that way, equating jar innards made of dead warriors in a ritual to honour them with living ppl being cut up and forced to meld together as a form of torture is… a choice), but to completely ignore Nepheli and Roderika’s stories and their role in the narrative? 💀

Plus, where in the game is it even stated or implied that Godfrey being a battlefield maniac means he is ok with *read writing on hands* some guy sending his lackeys out to hunt Tarnished (Godfrey’s own warriors) and making them into unwilling extra limbs?

The guy that gives his all to fight the player by himself and compliments us on a battle well fought… will see honour in gaining strength via kidnapping ppl and stealing their strength, instead of fighting your own battles, honing your own skills and getting stronger on your own? Huh?

And even ignoring all that, Kenneth - a mere nobleman, not even demigod or anything, fr called Godrick a “jumped up country bumpkin” who fleed from Leyndell, holed up in Stormveil to hide from Radahn (why are we forgetting this…bro can’t even pass the Godfrey’s no.1 Stan vibe check) and then got beaten up by Malenia?

To add insult to injury, Godwyn’s body lying beneath Stormveil will literally stab anyone coming close to him (which is sth I have an interesting conversation with ppl on twitter about. there’s one person bringing up an interesting interpretation that Godrick probably took off with a relic of Godwyn’s body hoping to graft a piece of the Golden Prince onto himself, but Godwyn body was like “no” and infested the castle ground like a disapproving ghost 😭 but Godwyn is cool with us because he knows we have Marika’s sanction 😊).

Godrick… has no support whatsoever from Marika and Godfrey’s direct descendants, other than maybeeee Morgot who probably was only there to keep an eye on Stormveil - a place of importance to his dad and maybeeee a bit family pity for Godrick, definitely not because he’s proud of the stuffs Godrick is doing (he astral project there to scare us a bit then leave. We gonna kill Godrick? None of his business.).

And there’s also Godefroy who literally got locked up in a gaol… by a Leyndell Knight who later got the highest honour of Erdtree Burial after he passed away - specifically because of his feat in capturing Godefroy. Why are we forgetting Kristoff???

No one in Leyndell likes the Grafted guys, no one in Limgrave likes the Grafted guys, there are numerous items in-game expressing disappointment and sadness at the decline of the Golden Linage…. it’s a real damn no one likes you situation 😭

Then later on, Godrick got replaced by Nepheli.

So who are the ones being proud here ????

I’m not even a Godrick hater, I think he’s a fucked up, but compelling!, conclusion to the linage that Marika has with Godfrey - who is probably one of few people who actually knows what she used to go through.

I could even see the kind of pressure and struggle he must have gone through, humiliation after humiliation, hiding from and losing to Radagon’s children of all guys, carrying a legacy that is too big for him to handle. But to say that Marika and Godfrey would have been proud of him? Or that grafting is somehow a reclamation of the trauma Marika’s people went through and turning it into strength ????? He doesn’t even know that Marika was once not a God, let alone anything about her people’s suffering to reclaim anything ? That’s not his pain to reclaim ???

Someone else already did that. Marika herself. Rakshasa herself. You really do not have to give a man all the flowers for something women (who actually suffered and went through that trauma) already did.

[huggingtentacles]

OUGHOUGOUGOUGOUGOUGOUGJOEGJSbhdfbshshshjdf

finally someone honouring my request and tagging me for Malenia's cock 👍

Hello my fellow homosexuas......lookey here <333 👁️👁️

[skyred-blog]

There’s a topic on Reddit in r/EldenRingLoreTalk about Radahn's great bow. I’ve given my reply in it, but something really hurts both my eyes and my mind that makes me want to scream. I just want to say:

Can people please stop looking at anything related to Radahn, like his cape or now his bow, and saying it’s somehow connected to Miquella, when it really takes a stretch to see that? And there is a comment...what’s with the idea that Cleanrot spears were designed to be Radahn's arrows? Are people seriously suggesting that Miquella gave spears to the Cleanrot knights so they could stab Radahn, and then he would use those same spears as arrows to kill them faster? What kind of logic is that?

If it were really that similar, people would have pointed it out a long time ago. Even the NPCs in the game didn’t know about their relationship until near the end, thank you very much.

Using this logic in reverse, Malenia has a tree symbol on her cape that doesn’t look like the Haligtree or anything resembling a lily—so does that mean Malenia isn’t in the side of Miquella at all?

Can we focus on other things, like the lily in Caelid or something? Isn’t that enough? How many things need to be twisted to point out a supposed connection between Miquella and Radahn since the base game? If we had solid evidence, people wouldn’t still be stuck with the Godwyn and "Miquella is Torrent" theories.

Thanks for reading my rant

[huggingtentacles]

People are very impressed by my Malenia skills

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Round 2 Part 1

Malenia (Elden Ring) vs Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Malenia

She is arguably the hardest boss in any Fromsoft game.; She is the favorited boss of Animal from the Muppets.

"Arguably" the hardest boss in any fromsoft game? You don't even know. She is OBJECTIVELY the hardest boss in any fromsoft game. On march 1st 2023, a bit more than a full year since the game's release, From Software released the stats on the amount of attempts each boss took for the players collectively. As of march 1st 2023 Malenia has killed the players 329.000.000 times. That's 10 Tarnished every second. That's almost the entire population of the United States. Malenia is also an optional boss in a secluded area hidden away from everyone. According to PlayStation trophy statistics, only 37.9% of people who ever bought the game managed to even REACH Malenia in the first place. Which means among those 329.000.000 people she has obliterated were only the most dedicated of Fromsoft fans. Only 33.3% of people even managed to beat her. That number also includes everyone who beat her with summons, which makes her significantly easier. This means out of all people who bought the game on PlayStation 4 or 5 and reached Malenia which is about 3 million people, 377.000 just fucking dropped her, they didn't even do it with summons. Difficulty aside. Malenia is also extremely pretty and has the softest lips, her Goddess form looks like a painting. She fights with elegance and style unrivalled by any boss in the game, dancing through the battlefield with deadly, fluid motions. Malenia is also 256cm or 8'4" tall. Huge woman.

post let me solo her

#malenia is 8'4“ flat chested and broad shouldered#she kills you with incredible grace and poise#trans icon#id let her Waterfowl Dance on me and Infect Me with her Scarlet Rot...

#malenia is so dedicated to the sword it mends her failing body. she lives by fighting#her strongest attack is a technique that halts the progress of her terminal illness#i can never stop thinking about that. by all means she couldve rotted into a mile of mush before the game started#but she persists!! she persists!!!

Olivier Mira Armstrong

Her sword is a family heirloom and she can hold up against or defeat very formidable opponents; She is so unbelievably cool

Extremely cool and intimidating military general with a signature heirloom sword.

She has a really fancy family heirloom sword. Stabs a man and throws him into liquid cement to suffocate alive after he tries to get her to abandon her men to be part of a nation-wide conspiracy, challenges a subordinate to a duel of life and death (with the sword), nervous tic is tapping on the hilt of the sword. She demanded that her father retire and make her the head of the family instead of her brother, and then fought against said brother (including with the sword)(won the fight), among other things stabbed a homunculus into the head; I loved this character because her personality was so refreshing. Really blunt and rational, but will show her love for her subordinates and family through actions rather than words. When the main characters first ask her for help, her motivations are entirely selfish (gaining knowledge to use for power). It is established several times that she really is scary, and isn't afraid to immediatly fight someone on the spot to prove a point. Literally pulls a "I'm getting so old, I'm afraid a women like me will never find a husband," to manipulate a superior. All in all, she could stab me and it would be the greatest accomplishment I had made in my life so far.

Her sword has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations. She is an expert in sword fighting and military strategy. She always holding it when commanding her troops.

She wields a saber passed down as a family heirloom; while she also sometimes uses guns and tanks, this is her primary weapon, which she used to kill the super-strong Homunculus Sloth the Indolent several times (she did, however, need help from others to kill him permanently, due to Sloth's ability to regenerate from death); As a Major General, Olivier is the highest-ranking woman in her country's military; she is also the moral highest-ranked military officer in her country, as she joins in a rebellion once she has confirmation as to how corrupt the military leaders are.

[miquellah]

ohh if char asks still open. ranni my sweetly beloved

favorite thing about them. i've always been very enamored with the way she carries herself. she's guarded, and comes off as cold, but that's really mostly due to all she's been through and seen. people are bound to stab her in the back, and outright looking for chances to do so! seluvis DOES! and even despite this, she allows herself to still love those closest to her, to allow the tarnished closer, continues to keep an eye on her mother, and even still works to better the world... wow

least favorite thing about them. nothing. she's never done anything wrong in her life /hj

favorite line. "tell Blaidd and Iji... I love them." hey what if i just died right here. irt to foils with miquella, too, i think it's notable that SHE, expressly, speaks the fact that she loves these specific people, as opposed to miquella (while surely loving malenia and his closest companions) who never says anything as explicit like this

brOTP. i do love her dynamic with iji... him as like. a butler/even fatherly figure to her. blaidd also obviously notable. her relationship with her mother augh... and also i love exploring her dynamics with rykard and radahn too. i do think they all loved each other very much, even if they went different paths later

OTP. ranni and my tarnished!!!!!!! he loves her SO MUCH!!!!

nOTP. i wouldn't say it's enough to be a real nOTP, but ehhh blaidd/ranni in a romantic context doesn't really do much for me

random headcanon. i like to think about how much upkeep her puppet body requires and then imagine how the tarnished would tenderly care for her repairs.... uwagh. also like i said on godwyn's ask, i think the idea of them both being in on the double murder is pretty fun if nothing else

unpopular opinion. if you hate her you really truly 9 times out of 10 just need to rethink some misogyny

favorite picture of them. honestly any image of her in like, her bare puppet form has my heart. she's so beautiful!!!!!!!!

[fadedpath]

⭐ because im greedy (and love writing w u)

me 🤝 u, a staple atp ghjshgj ( imma skip ones we've already talked about / have threads for ofc )

iuste & lansseax, i think it'd be kind of neat to explore the before shattering times. perhaps it wouldn't be much between these two, but iuste would've been one of the more skilled warriors in the dragon war, and then would've transferred into being a dragon knight at godwyn's behest, etc. etc. there could be something! even if a lil

suhani & xiao, tbh i don't know anything about genshin impact BUT i have been reading your posts about how he's a spirit, which made me automatically think of suhani being the spirit caller that she is. i think something could happen, even if it's just her exploring what it means for a spirit and he could have his own goals.

hawthorne & kara, i'm a sucker for characters who are trying to find a place for themselves in the world they're in, so i think there could be a bonding point between each other for that ( if they become friends or regress to enemies who knows! lol ). hawthorne is often traveling, especially in the north, so they could happen upon each other.

radu & mattijas, randomly and with less of an idea only because i think it'd be kinda neat for a reborn to meet with someone who detests necromancy. ( added malenia with elden ring radu because tarnished radu would stab the needle in her during the fight LMAO )

@saovaene !

[sillovain]

Part 1/? of saying my peace on ER. Here’s some thoughts on bosses I need off my chest. Yes, I know it’s yet another "Elden Ring boss opinion" onto the pile.

1. Malenia is really good

Now that DLC is out, I feel very comfortable in saying this. To me there's 2 elements that really make the Malenia fight really good; the "Clashing" and the "Back and Forth". Functionally speaking, most bosses in ER are unstoppable, you cannot prevent them from taking an action (outside of stance breaks/parries). With Malenia having “player-like” hit-stun, you get some control over boss aggression. For example; when she does a side dash, you can quickly jab to prevent the follow up slash. This is a fight where weapon speed and reach can completely change your strategy; by being able to hit first or from further. I love that using a halberd vs. a mace allows for different opening in this fight. Likewise, Malenia being vulnerable to knockdown/launch moves allows you to forcibly get her to back off, you can create your own breathing room. Also, just think about how wild it is that something like Sheild Crash or Crucible Horn has strategic value vs. the hardest base game boss.

I also love that Malenia’s healing adds a layer of uncertainty to the fight. You cannot easily math out the number of hits or spell casts needed to bring her down. Likewise, even if you’re currently winning, it is possible to lose all progress in a few mistakes; it keeps you on your toes. Theres also the threat of overcommitting, thanks to Waterfowl being an attack-chain opener. I love that all this comes together to give a very natural “go in” vs. “step out” flow to the fight. Lastly there’s also how visually honest the fight is; she is a light-armoured curved blade user and fights exactly as advertised; straightforward enemy archetype but boosted to 11.   

Ultimately, it’s also how I wish more enemies in ER had a good offence-defense flow, while also being able to break up enemy patterns. I think ER has an issue with how free it is to roll-out of attacks you commit to (arguably a recovery/stamina cost issue); Waterfowl (somewhat) fixes this by demanding that you commit to a series of defensive actions in a row. Obviously, it’s not reasonable to give every enemy a Waterfowl-like super, so perhaps chaining back-rolls is too free. On the ‘Clash’ angle, there’s also how moves that launch or push enemies aren’t useful against most bosses; what if they could be used to interrupt enemies too large to push? (eg. Deflecting bosses with Stamp-Uppercut).     

2. Godskin Duo is bad

The biggest problem IMO, is that both Godskins have the same default ranged attack; fireball. Arguably, their melee movesets are also not distinct enough (possibly due to them being designed as solo bosses first?). Sure, it’s true that Noble (rapier user) has more front-thrust moves than the Apostle (polearm user), but both movesets include enough lunges/sweeps. Essentially; fight 1 guy + periodically dodge fireball.

I bring this up because of how older souls games have done the duo boss concept better. With DS1: Ornstein + Smough, the 2 fighters have wildly different size/speed; it affects the rhythm of their moveset, how they move across the arena and distance at which you can engage them. Smough has no ranged attack; if you choose to melee Ornstein first – he will attempt to close in as well (as opposed to Godskin where the other will just hurl fireball). Phase 2 is also affected by which member of the duo is killed first; there’s a reason to pick 1 target over the other. In summary; I think Godskin Duo does not feel like facing 2 complementary fighters, where you strategize over which one to fight first.

3. 3X Rot Crystallian is good

Based on everything I said above, this is secretly the best multi-way boss in ER. Each member of trio does something distinct; Spear guy rushes with frontal stabs, Ring-blade pelts from range, Magician slowly charges up big zoning blasts. The ever-looming Rot status also adds long consequence to taking chip hits.

To me, multi-way fights are most interesting when each member has a distinct role; fighting an archer + soldier duo is more interesting than 2x either. If you treat the entire unit as a boss, it becomes a question of which weapon do you disarm first? Also having limited moveset isn’t bad here, rather it adds distinction to each member.

4. Rennala (phase 1) is my least favorite boss

Fight is non-threatening, it is hard to get hit by anything. Once the shield breaks, its just a damage race; made worse by the fact she has very specific weaknesses (strong vs. magic. Weak vs. status.). There's also very few ways to get better at this fight; outside rote-memorizing the shield scholar locations. It’s the worse thing a boss can be: not too hard or too easy; just empty process.

---END---

~ Thanks for reading

[alma-amentet]

FYI because I feel compelled to spread this info, people completely misinterpreted that shot of Malenia and Radahn in the trailer. Radahn wasn't winning because they hadn't fought yet, that was in fact the start of their fight. In CGWorld 286 there's a comment by Takaaki Yamagishi (From animator who supervised the trailer) next to animatics. He says (p. 25, over an image of their first shot with Malenia adjusting her arm): 「ラダーンと対峙したとき、すでにマレニアは満身創痍でしたが、敵を認識して再び立ち上がります」.  “When she faced off against Radahn, Malenia was ALREADY black-and-blue-head-to-toe, but when she recognizes/BECOMES AWARE of an enemy she rises once more" (this caused a stir on JPN Twitter when it came out; search "マレニア CGWorld" if you don't believe me). Malenia looks tired because she was already wounded before Radahn arrived, presumably from slaughtering his knights, as we find their weapons at the battle site (it also parallels Radahn's state as he's also visibly wounded; the spears in his back are already there, so they seemed to have been the last ones standing on the battlefield). This means the context of the shot is pretty much the complete opposite of what some people were assuming it was. Radahn was trying to pick off a heavily-wounded foe after throwing his army at her. He still got stalemated, stabbed, and floored even before the bloom (the issue also shows an animatic that makes it very clear that Malenia jammed nearly the entire blade length into Radahn's neck and chest, bracing the tint against her shoulder to push it in him further, which explains why he drops his weapon and kneels in the following shot).

Well I knew this before, and yes, it's all kinda intetesting. But together with the guy who revealed it to me (he also shared a storyboard page from a japanese magazine) we agreed that Radahn might have just fought with his gravity magic, that's why he was less wounded. He was standing as if he'd proclaimed his terms and was waiting for response. It's most likely he offered her to surrender (wanted to hold her captive for a while, maybe, marry her...) Obviously, Malenia didn't accept/agree.

That guy wrote some nice fanfiction, btw, with his own interpretation(sadly it's not in English).

I see no reason to argue because it's all still open to interpretation, and after all, it's just fiction, for fun, not fight. I'm always open to any theories, ideas, headcanons, if it's all nice and peaceful.

Thank you, anon, for a chance to recollect all that info.

[rex101111]

Okay at the risk of sounding conceited...is the Enforcer at the end of Phase 2 Depth Exploration considered hard? I'm asking because I saw a couple comments to that effect and he has like the entrance and the build up and all that but...i beat him first try every time. Seriously.

Three playthroughs now and with a slightly different kinda jank build each time sure its TOUGH but literally every other boss in this game except Carla's Roomba giave me more trouble then this guy.

Its like if Malenia did a bunch of back flips and then when she finally went to stab you she'd slip on a banana peel face first into your sword.

Its weird.