#sry i needed to update from my other one LOL
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yuellii · 1 year ago
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« thy visage, emotionless in each storm. »
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blog info, rules, notes, anons, tags, etc !
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i. about
[ ely ] elynna ( eh-lee-na ) ; southeast asian ; bi ; libra ; blackpink, wayv, enhypen, stray kids, ive, le sserafim
i’m currently on my final year of college, and i’m a business major ! other than genshin and reverse 1999, i also play honkai impact in which my favorite character ( of all time ) is elysia [♡]
furina [♡], ayato [♡], neuvillette [♡], baizhu, kaveh, yae, arlecchino, yelan, lyney, lynette, scara, venti, charlotte
vertin, regulus, druvis, z, forget me not, tennant, dikke
DNI [ hard block ] — minors who post / interact with nsfw
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ii. notes
— [ GENSHIN IMPACT & REVERSE 1999 ]
everything on this blog is sfw ; the ask / request box is always open, but there is no guarantee i will get to it !
reader is usually written gn, but occasionally female ( and this will be specified. no specification = gn reader )
i’m actually not the greatest with ‘funny’ fics, unfortunately </3 i’ll still write it, but i’m much more skilled with stylized writing and ‘serious’ fics
here are my personal favorite fics on the blog ! :
⎯ the four stages of jealousy, with neuvillette
⎯ forbidden love, with zhongli, baizhu, ayato, wriothesley
⎯ supernatural devotions, with vampire neuvillette
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iii. anons, mutuals
🪷 . 🪼
[ #name.💙 ] — aine, crow, eun, yoru, henry, star, soph, manu, zervu, meisha, yukari, mhie, nervo, nana, anya, rina, sol, jade, caz.
wanmin squad 🌶️ — @lychniis @euniveve @rainswept
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iv. tags
# 🌧️ : courtyard exch.
# 🎐 : ely’s letterbox.
# 🌊 : reblogs.
# 🫐 : drabbles.
# 🦋 : icymi.
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maxivstappen · 4 months ago
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congratulations for 1k, you really deserve It !!
for your event: can i ask for a carlos sainz fic based on "break my heart, and I swear i'm moving on with your favorite athlete" by sabrina carpenter in good graces
thanks xx and ily
౨ৎ YOUR FAVORITE ATHLETE ! ‧₊˚.
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౨ৎ 1K EVENT — short n' sweet series (not posted yet) ౨ৎ
pairing — carlos alcaraz x reader / carlos sainz x reader
summary — break my heart and i swear im moving on with your favorite athlete! angst & sweet revenge (again lol)
warnings / disclaimer — none, just my not so perfect Spanish (please correct me)! hope you liked this <3 thank you lots for your support and sorry for my absence - school is really time consuming at the moment :( i'll be updating more frequently again soon — masterlist (not updated sry) / prev. work
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12th of January - TWITTER
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4th of February - @.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 1,723,981 others
yourusername girls just wanna have fun or whatever 😝 love ya @.alexandrasaintmleux
view all 31,821 comments
user1 omg why did she unfollow carlos?
user2 @.user1 she follows carlos wdym
user3 @.user2 no they mean carlos alcaraz the tennis player, y/n‘s boyfriend (if they’re still together). I suppose you’re an f1 fan?
user2 @.user3 yes haha sorry i didn’t know that, and I don’t watch tennis so that’s why i was confused
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ my only love🥹 never ever leave me again!!
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
charles_leclerc ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux what do you mean ‚only love‘?? don’t you think you’re missing someone?
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ @.charles_leclerc so sorry, of course i love my baby leo just as much🥰
charles_leclerc ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux 😔
user4 oh they’re so HOT
user5 @.user4 CARLOS FUMBLED IF WHAT I‘M THINKING IS TRUE
user6 ONE CHANCE Y/N JUST ONE
landonorris ✓you can finally focus on the better sport now 🙌
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
user7 @.landonorris WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user8 @.user7 i think carlitos and her broke up 😭
yourusername ✓@.landonorris only saying that cause i keep beating you at tennis
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5th of February - TWITTER
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5th of February - TEXTS
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6th of February - @.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by carlitosalcarazz, carlossainz55 and 1,576,971 others
yourusername if i speak i am in trouble 🤭
view all 26,933 comments
landonorris ✓ AHHHHHHH
yourusername ✓ @.landonorris AHHHHHHH
user9 @.landonorris LANDO SPILL
user10 guys alcaraz liked😧
user11 @.user10 HES JELLYYYYYY
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ hope you had the best night ever☺️
yourusername ✓ @.alexandrasaintmleux wasn’t as fun as it would’ve been with you🙂‍↔️
alexandrasaintmleux ✓ @.yourusername let me take you out next time 🤭
carlossainz55 ✓ @.yourusername @.charlesleclerc they’re flirting again😞
charles_leclerc ✓ @.carlossainz55 they will never stop😞
user12 THE LAST PIC
user13 @.user12 MYSTERY GUY SPENT THE NIGHT
user14 @.user13 THATS CARLOS SAINZ
user15 @.user14 i was about to call you delulu but…. i think you’re right
user16 @.user15 guys go get some sleep it’s okay … delulu isn’t always the solulu 😚
user17 HES HOLDING HER SHOES
user18 SOFT LAUNCH BUT WHO TF IS SHE LAUNCHING 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
carlossainz55 ✓ ❤️
-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓
user19 @.carlossainz55 @.user18 WE KNOW WHO SHES LAUNCHING🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
user20 @.carlossainz55 OHMYGAWWKDKSKALSKSKS
user21 TENNIS WAG TURNED F1 WAG AND IVE NEVER BEEN HERER FOR IT
user22 @.user21 you’ve never been what?
user23 @.user22 you need to learn matching people’s freak fr😣
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A Couple Weeks Later - TEXTS
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20th of October - @.carlossainz55 ✓ just posted on INSTA !
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 3,445,912 others
carlossainz55 won the race and got the girl😉 great work from the team (and me)
view 1 comment
yourusername ✓ love you baby
- comments have been disabled -
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20th of October - @.yourusername ✓ just posted a story on INSTA !
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hope you liked it <3 guys please correct my spanish PLEASEEEEE (the question marks are weird like that on purpose because i’m a lazy bitch)
gen / sns taglist :: @norrisdriver @1655clean
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nerdykorgi · 10 months ago
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sry it took me so long to make just these, i went on vacation lol
Im just gonna ease into it and not show all of them at once, one because it would take a while and two i want to show my favorite ones some love.
but rq! CW: BLOOD AND DEATH
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Calisto! One of my first grim ocs! He was made to be that one grim from hollow mind.
He's very artistic and creative and overall optimistic (atleast he tries to be). He loves writing and drawing, he designed the symbols for the 9 covens.
He was blinded before he was killed and unfortunatly carried that into the afterlife. He's really close to Caleb and they try to "keep the peace" if you will amoung the other grims and make sure it dosent divulge into chaos.
He wants to take care of his predeccsor/brothers and tries his best to learn how to write again so he can make a list of everyone, he wants to make sure no one is forgotten or ignored.
He's a silly guy <3
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THE BABY!!!
Hunter may have been the youngest grimwalker made a golden guard but he wasn't the youngest one ever made.
Fletcher was one of Belos's attempts to make a grimwalker that was easy to manipulate but he wasn't quite ready for the tasks of taking care of a toddler.
That and said toddler eerily reminded him of a certain red-haired witch. (or more-or-less Cal & Eve's kid, give or take)
but in death, he very much looks up to his guard brothers and wants to be as cool as them. He's a very huggable kid and makes it his personal mission to hug all of the guards who need it.
I love them, my bois
(*exaggerated sigh* sorry for slow updates, life prohibits me from drawing 24/7. I feel like I apologize alot but i genuinly feel bad for not being able to post so quickly :") )
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acourtofquestions · 6 months ago
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Welcome page/post thx 2 A Court of Questions by @lavendarneverlands
This is my (secondary/“side”) blog for my #FirstRead (& adoration of) the Maasverse! — But take this as a heads up: I mix up the two pages frequently😅😂 sorry in advance for any confusion! — Think of this page like Potterless (except probably not half as cohesive & good as the podcast lol😂). I love enjoying the series with the fandom so please feel free to reach out to #ReadAlong or #ReadWithMe (it’s why I’m on Tumblr; no one I know reads these). 🫶 also check out the tumblr community “@maasverse-first-readers” for more :-)
Header image: Blue illusion Art & Profile pic: Beth Gilbert Art
LET’S FANDOM ABOUT IT
This is a Maasverse related blog, thus it does discuss the series & spoilers (depending on where you are in the books) HOWEVER I try to keep up to date with spoiler warnings (often in the form of: #tags, red, 🚨, or what I call the “more” bar of safety) & I hope it makes it accessible for all readers! I also really try to keep this blog inclusive & friendly for everyone (any character, any ship, any reader, any person… or fae I suppose too :-) & use proper content warnings (as I greatly appreciate that in others too) … so thank you!!
As I am unfortunately human here’s a lil up-to-date guide for what is & is not discussed thus far (& as I also try to avoid spoilers for the books I haven’t gotten to yet)
— I have read ALL of ACOTAR,
— I have read ALL of Throne of Glass,
— I am currently reading my way through “CC” Crescent City; & now on Crescent City 3
Be warned: I’m a rambler of posts & content posting, and autocorrect is my true enemy😂🤣 p.s. I’m new here & always trying to learn!😊 I do my best to do my due-diligence and properly credit. And use TW whenever I can (as I need it in my life too <3
I leave most “reaction” posts up from my first reads. Opinions of course change over time! I try to edit & update (& or re-tag) but some stay old.
Currently my favorites and majority are:
ACOTAR
I love the Archeron sisters (Feyre is dear to me, I think Nesta is an important kind of character, and I look forward to more Elain in what I’m calling ACOTAR 5&1/2)
THE Valkyrie (Gwyn esp.)
I can go any which way with the Elriel/Elucien/Gwynriel/Gwynlain/etc. “debate” (like I said though I’m here for all fans and prefer to keep it generally positive/friendly; we’re all just enjoying stories & art😊).
I love Feysand (sry Tam-Tam😅 I struggle with him)
If you want to go give some ship love @gwynlain you can also find me there :-) 💕 because yes I am that fandom obsessed I have a side page for the side blog😂
TOG
I adore Celaena & Aelin (for posts on both I tend to call her “Aelin Sardothien” cause I love ❤️‍🔥 fireheart ;-)
Rowaelin is my fav ship (though you will find it was not an immediate love for “bird-boy”😂 from page 1😅) the “Team Chaol” force was once strong long ago (I don’t hate him now, I just like them as friends) though I’ve also shipped all the ships at some point🤣 (I like a lot of fandoms and have a very “SQUIRREL!” personality😅😂 so I do make a lot of references, despite this being my Maasverse page) there was a time for Dorlaena & of course Samlaena too
and Sam Cortland always deserves more (I love him & am still sad😅). My beloved "Assassins of Adarlan"
As will Dorian ALWAYS be beloved as a character,
I think in another life I’d like to be Yrene
Lysandra is a favorite.
Manon and the 13 are everything to me… till darkness claim us & beyond…
I still want a spin off with the cadre
I could make this list really really long because these books are one of my all time favorites
— Abraxos & Fleetfoot (TOG) & “The House” (ACOSF) as characters hold a candle to no other. —
“CC” Crescent City
I finished House of Earth and Blood “CC1”
I finished House of Sky and Breath “CC2”
I am currently reading House of Flame and Shadow “CC3”
I love Baxian! And LIDIA CERVOS IS AN ALL TIME FAV FOREVER!!! (Day x Night might be my fav ship in the series rn)
I love my kick-ass gals; Bryce rocks, & of course the pack of devils & Danika (her & Bryce’s friendship meant a lot to me), Fury x Juniper (their my bb’s).
SERIOUSLY I LOVE DANIKA
Syrinx is a fav, I love all the animals!
I wish I liked Hunt more, I don’t hate him, I’m just kinda meh?.. and slowly evolving into dissapointment
THE CROSSOVERS
Thank YOU “fellow dreamers” for welcoming ME! into your feed & Maasverse!
& to my fellow “first time readers” Welcome to you too! 💕
+ All you old-timers THANK YOU for your loving guide notes & support (for ALL THE FANDOM FEELS😂)!
… And yeah… Hi! Much love❤️💚🩷🩵🧡 all are welcome!!! This blog does NOT discriminate & is a safe place to enjoy fandoms (because it’s about enjoying stories!) regardless of race, nationality, ability/disability, gender, sexuality, belief, age, etc. Feel free to message & tag😊 + if it helps in the matter of communicating:
I identify as she/her (please always feel free to tell me your pronouns if you like :-) 🏳️‍🌈Bi🩷💜💙 LGBTQIA+ if you wanna call me by something other than my blog name/names you can call me Lila (short for Delilah), I’m a Zillenial (21+) I primarily speak English (though I’m usually fluent in Sign, & Czech, working on refreshers & learning Spanish), Chronic Illness advocate. & I look forward to enjoying stories with you!
And there’s nothing left to say but…
— LET’S FANDOM ABOUT IT —
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realbigpodcastslut · 2 years ago
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About the blog!
Hi! I'm Lee and this is my main blog dedicated to audio drama podcasts. I post almost exclusively content related to that but might post some personal stuff or occasionally radio/music (I have a radio show called The Abyssal Hour on WMHB Waterville 89.7 FM). Mostly sfw but occasional horror (ask me to tag triggers)
Tagging System:
I tag every post with the podcast to the best of my ability. For common podcasts, I have a list of abbreviated tags. I only started tagging 2 years ago and this blog is 5+ years old (sry).
Main podcasts and their tags:
King Falls AM (kfam)*
The Magnus Archives (tma)*
Welcome to Night Vale (wtnv)*
Wolf 359 (w359)*
The Bright Sessions (tbs)*
My Brother, My Brother, and Me (mbmbam)*
The Adventure Zone (taz, taz + campaign, and campaign. ie balance, taz balance, and taz are all the tags)*
The Penumbra Podcast (tpp)*
Eos 10 (eos 10)*
Mabel (mabel)*
Malevolent (malevolent)*
Within The Wires (wtw)
Hello From the Magic Tavern (hftmt)
SAYER (sayer)
Archive 81 (a81)
Kakos Industries (kakos)
Death By Dying (dbd)
I Am In Eskew (eskew)
Old Gods of Appalachia (oldgods)
The Strange Case of Starship Iris (tscosi)
The Black Tapes (tbt)
Trigger List: (On Request)
emetophobia
flashing
Other Tags:
Not Podcast Related (not podcast related)
Posts by me (slut.txt)
General podcast stuff (gen)
Podcast related but not any certain podcast (gen)
Interaction:
Please don't be afraid to ever DM me or send me an ask (even if you aren't a mutual or stranger). Also, it doesn't need to be podcast-related!. If I don't respond I probably forgot and just remind me. I also use mobile a lot and have errors. But please interact, I enjoy it!
Side Blogs:
@kfam-tea (King Falls AM tea blog, co-runner but I do most of the posting lol)
@spockssluttyhelmet (Star Trek)
@theposionwoman (The Dear Hunter)
others I won't name :P
About Me:
So you made it this far and want to know about me. Huh. Anyways I'm Lee (22, aroace, agender but she/they/he, auDHD (diagnosed)) and podcasts have been my special interest since 2014. My first official podcast was Welcome to Night Vale. I don't have a favorite but King Falls AM has a special place in my heart (but don't listen if you know what's good for you). I even made my own audio drama for a bit (it's discontinued now). But I know a lot about the process, from writing to editing to recording. I'm goth (actually, though. I dress and listen to the music). I go to college for computational biology and work in IT. I have one cat named Pierogi. (Discord is: Alligator Milk)
Other Interests:
Games: Disco Elysium, Minecraft, Stardew Valley
TV: Supernatural, Star Trek
Books: The Dresden Files, Good Omens, Lovecraft (Ew I know. I am a Lovecraft hater)
Music (prog, punk, folk, rock, indie, alt, literally any genre. Fave artist is The Dear Hunter)
Horror
Writing (I write fanfic but mostly OC like poetry and short stories)
Crafts (Knitting, Origami, embroidery, makeup*, beading, etc)
Thanks for reading!
Updated:8/15/2024
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anakinskywalkerog · 2 years ago
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My Very Soul (Chapter 9)
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Anakin Skywalker x Jedi!Reader
Link to Chapter 8
Warnings: angst. sry bout this, I'm just feeling a lil bit sad and I wanted to give their reunion more umph lol
Summary: short and sweet; like ships passing in the night; sad bebs
Word Count: 3.3k (lol me: wow this is so short, also me: unable to write short)
Anakin paced the ship's hull, back and forth, feeling the need to get this energy out of him, unable to sit still. The ship whined beneath his feet, and he mentally urged it to go faster, to move through hyperspace more quickly. He didn't care that he was eager. He didn't care about anything, other than getting back to Coruscant.
       It had been a brutal eight months in the Outer Rim territories, a period in which he and Obi-Wan had gotten themselves into and out of many scrapes. They were keeping the peace, he thought dryly, and collecting intel for the Republic—worthy causes, of course, but he had been away from Coruscant for his longest period yet, and he was anxious to get back to the Temple.
       "Anakin, you're giving me a migraine," Obi-Wan said casually, sitting in the main hull and reading his holopad. Anakin continued his pacing.
       "Are we close?" Anakin asked, looking out the viewport at the blue of hyperspace, as if he would be able to tell by some landmark where they were in the universe.
       "Patience, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, not looking up from his reading. Anakin ignored him, continuing to walk back and forth. He didn't try to hide his anxiety from Obi-Wan. The last time Anakin had seen you, you'd been half-beaten, with dark circles under your eyes and stitches in the back of your head. Still, you'd looked perfect, sitting there in that medical bay, on a ship very similar to this one, looking at him through those very perfect eyes, lidded by perfect lashes, your perfect Force presence emanating around you. Anakin swallowed. Why hadn't he just come out and said it, then? He had been so close to telling you, so close to revealing his heart. Why had he stopped himself?
       Anakin could never have known that he would be gone this long, of course, but there had not been one evening in the last eight months where he hadn't thought of you. Every time he thought he would get to return, to see you again, he and Obi-Wan were sent to a different star system. Anakin saw your face every time he closed his eyes, remembered the feeling of your hand in his, the feeling of you watching him, your eyes glazing over, as if his presence calmed you. He thought of you every morning when he ate. Every type of cloud on every new planet seemed to remind him of you. He yearned to be back in your presence, just for a moment, just to get to see your face. Anakin had been so used to being assigned to missions with you and Master Yuma, he thought it might always be the four of you, working together. Why had he and Obi-Wan been away for so long? It didn't seem fair.
       They had had no news of you or Master Yuma from the council, no news of anyone, really, just updates that pertained to the general status of Republic affairs. And this was protocol, of course—Jedi were not meant to form attachments, and so asking the council for news of you, a Padawan who held very little importance to them, would have been completely inappropriate. Still, Anakin had asked Obi-Wan, again and again, after every transmission, after every briefing, if there had been any word, any news, any mention of where you might be, of what you might be doing. Obi-Wan was tiring of Anakin's persistence, but he had reminded his Padawan that no news was likely good news. If a Jedi had been killed, they certainly would have heard of it. Anakin knew this was true, and he was certain that you were absolutely fine—more than fine. You were flawless. You were likely healed of all of your wounds, of course, likely growing stronger in the Force, practicing your sparring, working toward your Knighthood. This knowledge did nothing to assuage Anakin's anxiety now, as his ship zoomed closer to you.
       What had you thought about everything that had happened on Hoth? Anakin had never gotten to ask you, had never even gotten to watch you heal from your injuries. What had it meant to you, that Anakin had held your hand the way he did? Had it meant anything at all?
       "Anakin, you're sweating. Relax," Obi-Wan said, finally putting his holopad down and looking at his Padawan with concern.
       "What am I going to say to her?" Anakin asked, his hands shaking, his eyes wide with longing.
       "I'd start with hello," Obi-Wan said, an amused expression crossing his face. Anakin felt his features fall into a pout. He resumed his pacing. They were almost there.
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You breathed in, trying to expel any thought from your body, working to let the Force move through you.
       The meditation room was quiet; your limbs were folded perfectly, your back straight; the meditation ottoman was soft and comfortable; the blinds were drawn. The conditions were perfect. There was no reason for you to be distracted. Still, you somehow felt restless. Your body seemed to have a twitch, today, seemed to feel the need to move, to shake out these nervous feelings. You couldn't trace their origin, but for whatever reason, you could not get rid of your thoughts.
       Your mind moved, as it often did, to Anakin, and you scrunched your face in concentration. When meditating, you were taught to let thoughts come and go, as if a thought were a bird that flew through your mind, stopping in only for a moment before it again took flight. The Anakin bird, however, seemed to have made its home in your mind. Every time this particular thought returned, it brought more supplies, making its nest larger and larger, and now it seemed to own the place. You sighed.
       If you could not expel the thought, you had decided, and if it would not simply pass out of your brain, you could redirect it. You missed Anakin—that much was clear. He popped into your head so often, now, that you had worked hard to change this particular thought, to use it to your advantage, to make sure that it was aligned with your true and higher purpose.
       You wanted, more than anything, to become a Jedi. And not just any Jedi—you wanted to hone your talents. You wanted to be the best warrior, the most skilled swordswoman, completely one with the Force, like Master Yoda, like your own Master. Good Jedi did not form attachments, you reminded yourself, and so any thoughts that might lead you down a road you did not want to follow must be banished from your mind. You steeled yourself, keeping still in your meditation posture. You would not allow yourself to be taken off the path that was meant for you. You would not allow Anakin to distract you from your goal.
       You felt her presence before she entered, as you so often did. It was difficult to surprise you, especially now that you had grown in your power, motivated, as you were, by the dark forces you had encountered on Hoth. You kept your eyes closed, but acknowledged this presence, greeting your Master through the Force.
"You seem troubled," Master Yuma said, coming to sit on the meditation ottoman next to the one on which you perched.
       "No, not troubled, exactly," you told her honestly, breathing deeply.
       "Conflicted, then," she corrected, her gaze searching you, looking you over, feeling your presence intimately in the way that only she could.
       "No," you answered, opening your eyes. You looked at Master Yuma, watching each other. Communicating with your Master was very different from communicating with other people, especially now that your power had grown to such a degree. When you communicated with others, you had more of an advantage—you could read more in them than they could in you. With your Master, though, you both read through each other's thoughts, your Master's emotional impressions coloring your mind, and your own emotions likely coloring hers. Oftentimes, the two of you didn't need words to converse.
"I don't think it's that simple," Master Yuma said thoughtfully, responding to something she had felt in your presence. You frowned.
"It has to be. Attachment is against the rules, and at some point, a choice has to be made," you said calmly, looking your Master in the eye. "I've made mine."
       "A good Jedi must keep her mind open," Master Yuma told you, meeting the intensity of your gaze with just as much strength, "to possibilities. Other options, paths that exist but are not visible in the current moment." Master Yuma sighed, looking at your set jaw, your lowered eyebrows, feeling how much effort you were making to hold to this conviction, through the Force. "It is impossible, now, to see what the future may bring. I ask you only to let your mind open, to let the thoughts, feelings, and other temporary matter flow through it. Remember, my child," Master Yuma said affectionately, "that you are but the river bank. Let the water roll over you. Don't try to change its direction, or fight its current. Let it flow."
       Your eyes filled with tears. Master Yuma had not called you my child in quite some time. This affection disarmed you, melted your resolve, got in the way of your desire to hold certain feelings of yours at bay. You broke your pose, climbed off of the meditation ottoman, and sank yourself down next to your Master, laying your head on her shoulder.
       "We have another assignment," Master Yuma said, using her fingers to run through your hair, pulling it away from your face gently. "I came in here to retrieve you. We're leaving." Master Yuma brushed the tears from your cheeks.
       "Yes, Master," you said, letting yourself melt into her, letting your pretense, your ego fall away.
       "All will reveal itself in time," Master Yuma told you, kissing your head. "Don't fret."
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You sat the cockpit of the ship, next to your Master, ready to assume the position of co-pilot. You watched Coruscant beneath you as you adjusted the necessary controls, causing the ship to take off into the sky. You felt the ship moving through the air, and you sighed, letting go of a part of yourself, leaving it behind on Coruscant. To do your duty, you must let go of your own desire, learn to be selfless, one with the light side of the Force. You felt a current in the air, and looked over to Master Yuma, confused. She looked back at you, assuming an innocent expression. Could she not feel it? The current grew stronger as the ship took off. You looked out the viewport, out at the city planet, and you saw nothing but ships passing by, headed back toward the city you were leaving. You felt the current grow stronger. You looked out, breathing deeply. The current in the Force grew in its intensity, and as you watched another large ship pass you by, you felt the current snap, like a rubber band when pulled back. The feeling you felt as this current moved out of you was both good and bad, both pleasant and painful. It was a full feeling, a glass overflowing. It felt like longing. It felt familiar.
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Anakin stood in his room, looking the place over, his emotions in turmoil. Though he had not been back to this place in eight months, he felt no joy in being here now, looking at the sparse Padawan bed, the small room in the large dormitory that did not, for the time being, contain the one reason he'd wanted to return to Coruscant in the first place.
       It had become clear immediately upon their arrival that you and Master Yuma had been sent off on a mission earlier the very same day. If only the ship had arrived just a moment sooner, Anakin thought, torturing himself. If only time had passed a little slower this morning, Anakin could have accompanied you on your assignment.
       It would be fine, he reasoned with himself, standing at his desk, looking out his very small window. You and Master Yuma would surely be back very soon, maybe even tomorrow. Most assignments did not last months at a time. He could wait just a bit longer.
       The pain of it was tearing at his insides, his frustration threatening to pull apart his seams, but he held himself together. It was only an extra few days. It was fine. When you returned, he would be here, waiting to hear how your mission had gone, waiting to see what you might have to say to him, after all these months.
       His frustration with the Jedi Order was growing—the council's demands, the way they held such little regard for everything he had done for them, the way he and his Master were never granted a choice over where and how they spent their time, who they spent time with—the weight of his anger over the injustice of it all hovered over his head, and he worked to hold back his feelings. He wanted to be a Jedi more than he wanted anything, but he wanted to do it on his terms, in his own way. If he were on the council, if he were a Master, he would choose to do things differently. And they'd have to be okay with it—they needed him.
       Anakin heard a knock coming from the other side of the door to his room, and his heart sank in fear. The only time anyone ever came to his own personal quarters, it was—
       "May I come in?" Obi-Wan asked from the other side of the door. The fear that had entered Anakin's heart was turning quickly to fury. Anakin barely felt able to open his mouth, to form the words.
       "Yes," he sputtered, watching as his Master entered his room, facing him. Anakin was already shaking his head. "No," he whined to Obi-Wan, looking at his Master's sympathetic face, and hating every part of it, the pitying eyes, the mouth downturned in a compassionate frown, the peaceful presence emanating from his Master's being. "No, we can't go now, we can't leave again—"
       "I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, striding into the room and placing a gentle hand on his Padawan's shoulder. "The council has another assignment for us. The Chancellor himself requested that we go immediately. We leave in the morning."
       "No," Anakin repeated, his anger moving through him like a storm, his voice coming out as a pathetic pleading sound. He shoved Obi-Wan's hand off his shoulder. "Not now, there must be someone else they can send."
       "Jedi do not choose where they are needed most," Obi-Wan said kindly, tilting his head downward and looking up at Anakin's face, taking a submissive stance. "We must let go of our pride, and do what is requested of us."
       "No—I won't...I won't go," Anakin said, raising his voice, beginning to shake his hands, as if he were looking for something to throw, something to hit.
       "It is high time you attend to these feelings of yours, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, still keeping his eyes on his Padawan, his tone cautious. "You won't always be as young as you are now. Attachment of this kind is what prevents a Jedi from seeing clearly. You must put aside your own feelings, Anakin, in order to do your duty."
       "And for what?" Anakin scoffed, throwing his hands in the air, giving Obi-Wan a menacing smile. "So that the Senate can continue sitting around, squabbling over minor issues, doing nothing of substance? For the sake of a Republic, of a Jedi Order that no longer serves the needs of its constituents?"
       "You are speaking from the place where your anger is in control," Obi-Wan said quietly, looking Anakin over.
       "I can't help but be angry!" Anakin yelled, letting down his guard, feeling tears come into his eyes. "It's been eight months, Obi-Wan! Eight months, and she's not even here. And now we're leaving again, and we have no idea when we will return—" Anakin's voice broke, and his tears spilled, falling hot over his cheeks, his face screwed up in his resentment.
       "I sense that this show of anger is an attempt to hide what truly plagues you," Obi-Wan responded, his voice low, his tone peaceful, compassionate. Anakin wiped his tears with his sleeve, his brow furrowed, his mouth clenched in a grimace.
       "I can't...I can't live on, this way, without her presence...without her near me..." Anakin said, his voice lowering, his anger still palpable in his speech.  
       "You must not ever let your love turn into possession, Anakin," Obi-Wan said forcefully. "You must learn to place your ideals above your feelings." Anakin's face crumpled.     
       "What would you know of love?" Anakin asked, his bitterness ringing throughout the room.
       "I know enough," Obi-Wan responded softly. Anakin shook his head again. It was impossible for Obi-Wan to understand, he thought—no one had ever felt about anyone the way Anakin felt about you.
       "It's like...like I can't breathe without her. Like there's this string, reaching out into the universe, tethered to her presence, and every day I spend without her, the string tugs on my heart, squeezing tighter, causing me more pain. It's like...like trying to exist without water, or food, but those don't even begin to explain it, because what is hunger, what is thirst, compared to this feeling?! The whole of the universe is screaming her name, and I can't...I can't hear anything else, not while she and I are apart." Anakin sniffed, feeling vulnerable, feeling his anger turn to a deep sadness inside of him, a sadness he associated with home, with his mother. Obi-Wan sighed, walking over to sit on the edge of Anakin's bed.
       "This is dangerous speech, Anakin," Obi-Wan told him, looking at him with soft eyes. "The moment you let your love cloud over your selfhood, your life, your calling...is the moment you become vulnerable to the dark side of the Force."
       "I don't want a life," Anakin said wretchedly, "if she's not in it." Anakin sat down next to his Master, and he felt his Master return a grip to his shoulder, a bracing and comforting gesture.
       "You have much to learn, young padawan." Obi-Wan's tone was not critical, but Anakin heard in his words a sense of fear—fear of failure, or, perhaps, fear of Anakin's failure. "You've made a commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment not easily broken. Eventually, you are going to have to make a choice."
       Anakin turned to look his Master in the eye. He never wanted to fail Obi-Wan, or his teachings. The truth of the matter was that Anakin had made his choice, long ago. It was as if the choice had been made for him, as if he hadn't a hand in it at all. He wanted both: both you and the Jedi Order. He would have both. He couldn't let go of you—that much was certain. But he refused to let go of his ambitions. He knew his power far outstripped that of the other Jedi. He would become a Jedi Master. He could remake the Order, someday, make things how they should be, with you by his side.
       "Yes Master," Anakin replied. The pain of leaving this place again paled in comparison to the feeling of knowing you were out there, somewhere, perhaps strategizing, perhaps fighting, perhaps sleeping—the pain of not knowing where you were, and what you were doing, was incapacitating. Anakin swallowed it, felt it drop into his body, lodge itself there. It would not free Anakin from its grasp, he knew, until he saw you again. And he would see you again, soon. He would make sure of it.
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oof. my apologies, y'all. hope the angsty ani bbs loved this one. Chapter 10, the reunion, is out now!!!
mullet Obi for comfort:
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divider credit to @racingairplanes
taglist: @iyoogi @cluelessgurl @layazul @annadastra @graciexmarvel @galaxiasy @organasith @indigoblues1207 @outoftheregular @katsukiswrld @prettyboyrryy @jellydodger @wildflower57 @lydiamartinslover @em-asian @heavenseraph @iloveinej @leapofblank @sahverah @elsyyie @usuallyunlikelyfox @jadeonce @papadragun @dopejellyfishfury @stxrrielle @lilianashomaresparza
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365text · 5 years ago
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Hi! I've been reflecting on how to be a better employee/co-worker, and I've been having trouble going above and beyond my regular tasks and connecting with my boss. So I was wondering if you had any tips? In other words, how have you been able to be a "stand out" employee?
hi! i have yet to begin my full-time job so i am wondering if this was an accidental ask to the wrong person LOL & because every situation is case-dependent (ie. what type of company culture do you have? does your boss/manager encourage 1-1 meetings / your personal growth within the work place? what avenues do they provide for you to receive + give feedback? etc.) — i’ll just share things i’ve done in my previous internships and/or job at school!
when it comes to doing the work:
my personality type is very detail-oriented & curious — so, something that i tend to do if given a task / job to complete is try to find out as much as i can about it both before i start and while doing it! to me each task is an opportunity to learn about the subject more in depth + potentially find out what related subject matters to look into for future reference, to improve my breadth of knowledge! 
a lot of this came down to me asking why questions: why do we do things this way? why are we striving for this current task? why was this the chosen “best solution” for the problem at hand?
and whlle why questions helped satisfy my curiosity w.r.t. motivations + reasoning behind my job, i also asked what & how questions too! what does this part do? how is this task connected to the one i had done recently? what is the big-picture goal of this task? etc.
because of this mindset (approaching my given tasks with an intention and open-mindedness) i’ve consistently received the feedback that i am someone who takes initiative and is very thorough in her work and at times does more than required / finds new issues to work on in the future. 
none of the above would’ve been possible if i had focused only on just getting the Task Done™ and had not explored the whys/hows/whats, etc.
in a related note, i think always remembering + focusing on the big picture ! end-goals has helped immensely. i personally find that it both offers more meaning to the work that i do, and also helps to spark the above-listed questions during my actual process while addressing the problem at hand..
when it comes to connecting with my managers:
i have been pretty fortunate to have weekly 1-1s with my managers during my past two internships. i think those were a great time for me to: 1) connect with my managers on both a semi-personal (but work-appropriate haha) level and 2) also to receive + give feedback about my work, the team culture, and and career-related questions!
again, i think this depends a lot on your company culture + what line of work you’re in (maybe?) if these structures are already set in place — if appropriate / suitable, you could maybe ask to have these (bi)weekly 1-1s with your manager for the above listed reasons! motivations for such include you wanting improve as an employee / co-worker, to increase the amount of open communication between you two, and to learn more from someone who has more experience!
for example, though this worked well for me in my industry internships (i was a software engineering intern), i didn’t really have this in my job at school, where i worked as an undergraduate student instructor. 
at school, i held meetings with the people i needed in order to get things done; but i also gave somewhat frequent updates to the professor (the “big boss” LOL) about what was going on with the portion of the course that i was managing. i sent these updates via slack whenever i had a bundle of events that was happening, so he knew what was going on +  it also served as a good way for me to explain/highlight what i had achieved since the last update. a win-win :~)
if u have any other specific questions pls lmk !! otherwise i hope this ?? was relevant for u ?? i feel like each workplace can be so different, so it’s possible that our situations are structurally dissimilar, in which case i am sry if my experiences were not useful LOL 
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sunflower-petals · 4 years ago
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Hey guys; it’s 3 am here, & I can’t sleep, so I thought I’d update y’all on some things 😊 I’m on Mobile so it’s just gonna be one long post sry!
First, let’s talk about some cc! I have so much planned (& I’m excited for my first simblreen!) Here’s a little list of things coming up:
•Set of earrings
•3D moles
•pair of jeans
I’m not sure what I’m doing for simblreen yet, but it’s gonna be fun!
Next, I kinda want to vent about all the drama around this pack for a minute. I’ve seen a lot of “if you don’t like it, don’t buy it. Simple.” which is true. I probably won’t buy it because I literally have no use for it. However, as an artist, I thrive off of feedback, even if it’s negative. If I post a painting of mine, & someone says damn that looks like utter trash, I can ask well, what about it looks like trash? What needs improvement? All critique helps me. Same with The Sims. If we tell them, hell no this ain’t it & why, they can (maybe) listen & use that going forward. If we just don’t buy the pack, they don’t know why it didn’t sell. They just know it didn’t. Feedback in a business is super important.
Lastly I kinda wanna let you guys know why I haven’t been very active lately (or I don’t think I have lol). My doc had to switch my migraine med from the extended release version to the regular & it’s messing with me. Basically, the ER version lasted all day, so I only took 1. This other wears off, so I have to take one in the am, one in the pm, so it’s like he doubled my dose. I’ve actually felt like I’ve had the flu for a week, but it’s definitely this med. It’s all because my insurance wouldn’t pay for the ER version anymore. 🙄 I can’t stand the American healthcare system.
But, that’s pretty much it. I hope things are well with all of you guys! 😊
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missmonsters2 · 4 years ago
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I just wanted to say that I went through and read all of your wanda x reader fics a few months ago, but I stupidly forgot to like them hehe. the new between the lines update reminded me to do so, so I’m really sry if you get a bunch of notifs from the same person XD but also, I’d like to say the way you write wanda is amazing, and I find something different to love about her relationship with reader in every one of your fics. they make me love wanda even more :) hope you had a great day!
ahhhh!! Thank you so much 💘 glad to see another Wanda fan. I really think she’s a complex character. I’m really excited to see her in WandaVision so we can see other sides to her other than grief (but don’t get me wrong, Lizzie Olsen plays grief SO well). 
I’m always happy to see a bunch of notifs from someone liking all my stories, so no need to apologize LOL! 
I hope you had a great day, love 💘
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aliciascareys · 7 years ago
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ya girl liveblogs legends (and loves every minute of it)
i am the biggest stan of everything Gloria writes, and since i fell behind in Legends (because i’m The Worst) i’m gonna liveblog the whole freaking thing! anyways, @bellamysgirl thank you for sharing such a wonderful story with the world. sara is a truly amazing character and everything you have done with legends is absolutely perfect.
my shitposting liveblog is below the cut!
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ch. 2 - man with a plan
“But she knew one thing. If Steve was going, so was she.” 
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byEEEEE stara is love! stara is life! stara is the most important thing to me sry
also i am so looking forward to the bucky barnes fan club and its president steve rogers going against orders to save the love of his life, james buchanan barnes. we have truly been blessed today, children! anyways, moving on.
i live for sara riley smashing the patriarchy like this girl takes no shit from these men. dodging howard stark’s unwanted hug? iconic.
“watch his back.” “with my life.” 
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i don’t think there’s anything more to say about this quote other than steve’s girls are always looking out for him!! 
me when sara stopped steve and told him she’s got this and hitting that guy with an electric arrow:
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ch. 3 - not in the 40s
first of all, sam is me whenever i decide to go for a run......... and second, sam asking if sara is steve’s girlfriend same
so basically, we can conclude that sam wilson and i are the same person
“is she your sidekick?” “you got that backward. he’s mine.”
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i’m going to cry when she sees bucky in the exhibit
update: i’m crying
i am really liking the raw emotion in this chapter. sara is so complex and showing how hard of a time she’s having in the 21st century makes her so realistic. i think if there’s one gripe i have about captain america and the mcu it’s that it doesn’t really show steve’s transition (i mean they make a brief mention of sending him to the safe house in aos, but that’s it). i’m glad we get to see this side of the transition to a new reality
STARA PRACTICALLY CUDDLING !!! STEVE REACHING OUT TOWARDS SARA !!! SARA ONLY SLEEPING WHEN STEVE IS NEXT TO HER !!!
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then it’s followed up immediately with them fighting...... frick.
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sidenote: i’m really looking forward to how the whole sam/sara friendship develops. i think it could be pretty great tbh!
ch. 4 - the rescue
SARA FINDS BUCKY SARA FINDS BUCKY SARA FINDS BUCKY SARA FINDS BUCKY SARA FINDS BUCKY SARA FINDS BUCKY
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idk who i ship more sara x bucky or sara x steve, but i’m loving every confusing minute of it (team polyamory?? can that be a thing?????)
“you’re really pretty” “just shut up and let me save your life” “i could kiss you right now” “please don’t”
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DUDE THIS IS SO INTENSE
“you okay down there?” “oh yeah, just hanging out”
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real talk tho, their banter is a+ already i can’t wait for more of it
sara effortlessly throwing a knife through a tree in front of bucky lmao i wish i could see his shocked face
ch. 5 - at high speed
my last one and then i’m all caught up! i’m sad that i can’t just binge the rest lol i have to wait again for the next one
OH SHIT - WE’RE JUMPING RIGHT BACK INTO THE WINTER SOLDIER?!? AIGHT I’M COOL WITH THIS
yo her bow technology sounds so cool i need to see this for real
DID SHE JUST JUMP OFF A BUILDING??
I THINK SHE JUST JUMPED OFF A BUILDING OMG
“how did you make it through the forties?” “without the back-seat driving of a man, that’s for sure!”
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“it only took a second for it to become clear that it was a man.” SCREAMS
when steve and sara don’t need to say words to have a conversation   :’’’’’)
that ending was so dramatic i’m going to need time to cope tbh alsO can’t wait for the two of them to recognize bucky and go into a downwards spiral like i will!!
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Gloria, this was amazing, and i am eagerly looking forward to the next chapter!
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springleaves · 8 years ago
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I know nothing about BTS or the fandom. Where do you recommend I start?
WELL UM i’ll let you know right off the bat i definitely started off in the fandom weirdly (shit bts says compilations) AND im not good at answering these kinds of questions BUT I’LL DO MY BEST 
(this’ll be kinda long so my own personal introduction to them is under the cut!!)
anywhere is a good start tbh! if music is a big thing for you then definitely start off there, but for me it was actually their quirky and adorable personalities asdfjskf (even though i need u got me interested in the first place)
i’ll start off by introducing you to the group but you can easily look up some other info on them!
debut was june 13th 2013 with no more dream, and they’re connected to bighit entertainment. their full name, 방탄소년단/防彈少年團/bangtan sonyeondan translates to bulletproof boyscouts (which is weirdly adorable) c: us fans are known as ARMYs, meaning (also kinda weird but hey ho) Adorable Representative M.C for Youth. we’re a very large fandom including internationally (yes even europe would u believe omg wow bighit) and of course we have our fair share of pretty shitty fans, but thats a given amirite,,,, but generally we’re a nice fandom, so long as you don’t meddle with the wrong people and aren’t a shitty person yourself :’)
heeeeere are the members: (order is oldest to youngest)
jin // kim seokjin - vocals (of an angel), dad-jokes 101, has beautiful hands but he’s literally just beautiful altogether fite me, star of eatjin (haha funnily enough), food aficionado/extraordinaire, literally the most caring nugget ever im sobbign, also wrote my favourite outro, SHOULDER BRO
suga // min yoongi - main rapper, music producer (made my all time favourite song btw), literal marshmallow w the cutest pout, strong passion for music, so loving,,, also got shut down by jin p hard in a v live i snorted, quiet but is very thoughtful and emotional, has the most? adorable?? gummy smile??? holy F?????
j-hope // jung hoseok - lead rapper, dance leader (also has pretty good vocals like bruh sing more pls and hes been getting more rap parts to which i say amen), actual sunshine but also pretty illegal, “we can go to the beach for shore”, played the recorder w his nose, v scared of lots of things, a pug fell asleep on his hands, did i mention that hes basically illegal, 
rap monster // kim namjoon - leader, main rapper, the??? cutest???, loves ryan (kakao character) but then again also abandoned him for brown (line character) so like,, really philosophical, has a great way with words, fine as hell legs mcgee HOO BOY, god of destruction, SMART AS HECK, loves reading
jimin // park jimin - lead vocals, lead dancer, “mochisexy”, hair flips, so caring and precious im ; u;;;;;;, SWEATER PAWS, older half of 95 line
v // kim taehyung - vocals (ssssuper nice and deep velvety voice hohmgod), another actual sunshine bun, rectangular smile, BEAUTIFUL TANNED SKIN OK BBY LISTEN TO Me!!!1, aegyo personified, elephant (u can figure this one out), younger half of 95 line
jungkook // jeon jeongguk - main vocals, kind of a rapper?? when he feels like it i guess, dances super well, muscle bunny???? what is this boy idk, also known as memekook, rly shitty at math (sry bby)
they’re also basically all visuals like yo fite my ass (but jin IS p damn stunning like wow punch my face) 
all of their current eras from debut (2013) to present (jan 2017) - incl. jp:
2cool 4skool (2013)
o!rul8,2? (2013)
skool luv affair (+special addition) (2014)
dark&wild (2014)
wake up (2014)
the most beautiful moment in life pt.1 (2015)
the most beautiful moment in life pt.2 (2015)
the most beautiful moment in life: young forever (2016)
youth (2016)
wings (2016)
wings: you never walk alone (2017 - feb 13th lol bye valentines i got priorities)
if you want a taste of their music here’s two album previews (the most beautiful moment in life era 2015-2016), and their most recent era’s title song. their music is mostly produced by themselves and tends to tackle issues in society!
for a feel of their personalities, their official channel uploads regular bangtan bombs and there’s also several shows like channel bangtan (debut time), run! bts+bts gayo (v live), american hustle life (that show is kinda iffy to me but eh,), backstage on music shows etc but just so you know now, they’re very extra (but also so caring and loving and asdfghkgjskfj) and here’s their twitter!
there are several translators out there but from what i know the biggest team of translators is bts-trans/bangtan subs but there is also army base for info/updates/trans etc~ (ily translators you the real mvps)
if you want to get some army friends you can try anywhere online (or shout jhope out in public like yoongi and see who reacts whatever goes with u), but for me tumblr was where i got to really engage in the fandom and with other armys c: and tumblr is a very nice place to see fan content!! there’s a huge amount of amazing content creators here like theorists, artists, writers, people who make fan edits, scenario editors etc so if you like that stuff then just search around on tumblr ♡
HSJDHAEUGH idk if this was what you wanted im sorry but i tried,, and if you’re definitely going to become an army then i’ll be here to welcome you if you want! :’D (also im still an army foetus dont rely on me for things,,,)
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markyishanthonymartinez · 8 years ago
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1/19/17
i don't think i need to intro these (as a type an intro), but i’m gonna start jotting down thoughts, feelings, activities, you name it, that i feel each day. these aren’t essays. think of this as a diary, (or journal for those men less comfortable with their sexuality). leggo.
i woke up with the same nerves i’ve had for weeks.
oh shit wait um probably not going to use names in these, just to be safe. we’ll do high school code for girls to name everyone. will be obvious enough, but just cryptic enough as well.
anyways
i woke up nervous, well rested (actually ridiculously well rested i slept like a baby prince (assuming baby princes get to indulge in being royalty but not actually having governmental duties)) but yeah nervous. i sent some risqué snapchats last night and you just never know how they’ll be received. but tbh i’ll probably send my wife a nude and be nervous she won't like it lmao. so like it’s mainly just the matter of sending or saying or doing risqué that leads to nervousness, but i guess that’s a major part of sex appeal in general. like there’s just something extra hot of doing something you definitely want to do, but would never talk about or tell others about and stuff. i got so far off topic. but yeah just imagine me checking my phone every 5 seconds to see if they had been opened. cause idk, we all like to get favorable reviews lol. funny i say that cause idrk what the reviews were lol. rip me. oh and then my sister came into my room and threw a package on my face and i got so excited cause packages are always so great. it was from american apparel. they got bought out. rip. i bought two pairs of underwear and a baseball tee. except kinda bummed cause i got a white/pink baseball tee and i thought the pink would be a bit more pastel, but it’s pretty bright and idk if i can pull that off, but we’ll see i guess. also, speaking of underwear and risqué photos, would girls enjoy receiving a picture of a guys butt? like i promise i’m not hank hill, if anything my butt is one of my most complimented features. (i’ve learned to appreciate it now, but it used to make me feel so awkward when girls would compliment it). anyways is that something girls are into???? or is that just weird? or like how do you pose? or like do you wear underwear? lmao WHAT HAS THIS BLOG BECOME I’M SO SORRY I’M JUST TOSSING OUT WHATEVER POPS INTO MY HEAD. but yeah idk i feel like there has to be a sense of tastefulness with this kind of stuff and idk if this falls into the tasteful area. this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.
wait also i just realized this blog is making it sound like i just send dick pics to every girl in my snapchat list and i’m some seasoned veteran. 1. that is the most disgusting thing ever and pretty much rape 2. i’m not disgusting or a rapist 3. this is quite literally the second person i’ve ever sent anything risqué to. 
continuing
i get up and ready for the day and eat breakfast and hygiene and normal morning stuff. ya’know. i edit for a bit which is normal for my mornings. i got adventurous and sang for a while. i’ve been singing along to state champs’ “the acoustic things” record quite a bit recently. derek’s vocals are a challenge, but with proper breathing and posture and technique i can just about hang around. and i really like that record. and it’s fun. so yeah, been hella jammin’. i then revamped and updated my résumé cause that’s just something you should do decently often and i hadn’t recently and like internship search is full speed ahead starting asap, but more on that later. mj got home from school, he’s had half days cause finals. wait they don't call them finals. semester exams? yeah. that’s it. but yeah i know why he’s home, but i still make sure to ask him why he’s home so early every day just to be annoying and stuff. he fed my fish (he always does). we all ate lunch together and watched the barcelona vs real sociedad game. barça won 1-0. neymar drew a penalty. it was pretty ugly defending. v typical barça cup-game win. mj and i watched youtube for a while and then we played fifa together. i’m so glad he has an xbox now. i’ve dearly missed playing with him and this lets us have that much more communication and quality time while i’m away, doing something we enjoy. i was kinda trash today lol, oh but i did have a hat trick and a perfect 10 rating in one game, but other than that i was in struggle town. then i got off, it’s always funny saying bye to joey on xbox cause like it’s not actually bye cause he’s right down the hall. 
(hold on telling elmo to shhhhhhh)
back. he isn't shhhhhhh-ing (i had to make sure that had the right amount of h’s). oh but yeah then i hung out listening to music that i should stop being lazy about and review. and then i started grinding on internship applications. i hate applications. i hate the fact that anyone would ever be able to develop an opinion about me without seeing my face and speaking to me in person. despite all my swagginess, i’ve quite literally always felt underestimated my entire life so it sucks even more in these situations. but yeah nevertheless most of them are really just sending them your résumé and crossing your fingers, but having a cute-ass résumé and a dank email will hopefully be my ticket in. i did threeeeee, i think 3? one being pa’s current workplace so hopefully i can get the in. the other one is like looking for an intern to help with the process of them moving their facility so that’s kinda depressing cause like oh yeah come help us move away from reno so you can't work for us anymore. they're moving to georgia like nah sry fam. but i mean i’d take it if it’s all i could get, most certainly. and the final being (gulps) tesla. *shivers* tesla’s like life goals. not just for internships, but like that would hopefully give me some sort of pathway to actually getting hired by them after college and i think you could kill me at that point cause i’d have a fulfilled life. am kidding. but really, that’s pretty much career goals. i don't really expect it, cause idk i’m not that special, but gotta shoot my shot. apjofijelkahg now i’m thinking how perfect my life would be if i could work for tesla. i’ve been heart eyes about that entire company since high school when i first heard about the roadster. uggggh. wow what is wrong with me. quite literally the first thing that pops into my mind after thinking about graduating and career and making money and cool stuff is getting married to a total babe that lets me send her pictures of my butt and having little baby marks running around. is that bad? jk there’s nothing wrong with me. that’s (fingers crossed) v realistic and like idk, life comes at you fast. people generally like having the whole relationship part of it set up around their mid twenties in order to start havin’ lil babies not too long after that. 
oh god i got so off topic and this has taken so long. so pretty much i did internship searching and applying and then decided to take a break, during which i finally convinced myself to start this journal/blog/diary thing. this was an absolute train wreck of a post but it felt really good to just unwind, take a seat and write everything that popped into my mind today. hopefully i’ll keep doing this. 
final thoughts: i’ve recently realized how much i like peter pan. like obviously the movie, but the characters and the storylines and a lot of the vibes are things i can totally relate to, even more so now then when i was a kid. maybe i’ll watch it again tomorrow. what else is a lost boy to do? not grow up, that’s for sure.
always do fun things. and stay beautiful
- mark anthony martinez
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