#srsly…give him his world tour

[ohmuqueen]

x

[suncrowncd]

✧･ﾟ(   helios + yang yang + cis male   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen (   gabriel wu  ) around ? (   he  ) have/has been in kaos for (   three weeks   ). the (   twenty nine year old  ) is a/an (   novelist   ) from (   california, usa   ). people say they can be (   flighty   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   charming   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   the first break of sunlight after hours of rain, afternoon naps and a relaxing canoe ride in the middle of a lake   ). ･ﾟ✧

hello! the sun is here and so am i! (´,,•ω•,,)♡ my name is kitty and i am so ready to plot my dudes!

alright, let’s get this thing started! here are some basic info that you gotta know before we get some interactions going:

his birth name is guangli, but he doesn’t really use that so if you call him that he’d be all ???? but feel free to give him nicknames like gabe or gabby or literally anything he’s cool with anything 

grew up in california, and his parents own a hella successful solar panel company that he’d most probably be in charge of in the future but his parents aren’t pressuring him to get involved yet so he’s just chillin for now

certified new york times best seller! his thriller novel “the five omens” was published when he was twenty four, and its sequel “the crow’s call” was released three years later. he’s got a third novel rumoured to be on the way, and fans are apparently excited for it

he’s just a wanderer my dudes. he travels a lot, going to all sorts of countries to gain inspiration for his novels, so he doesn’t stay in a place for too long. oh, and his instagram feed looks SO GOOD because of that no wonder he’s got nearly 3 million followers (and no, it’s not because he posts shirtless pics and dumb selfies sometimes,,, okay maybe it is but whatever) and has been the face of a few brands

because his main occupation is being a writer and he doesn’t stay at one place for too long, he doesn’t really have a job (seriously feel free to tease him for being jobless he will laugh along with you because it’s true) so! he tends to take on small or odd jobs for the experience that he can incorporate into his writing, or just because he’s bored. boy’s worked as a barista, a salesperson, an office intern, a dog walker, a bodyguard... just small things, you know? 

really laid back, just one of the most chill people that you’ve ever met. you wouldn’t take him for a rich person because he sometimes dresses like a tired college student or you might have met him while he’s doing a part time job or maybe you saw him napping on the beach and you’re wondering if he’s a homeless person or,,,, but then you see the rolex on his wrist or he’ll mention that he’s staying at an expensive location and you’re like “whoa hold up”. he’s pretty charismatic and a tad mischievous so he’s easy to get along with, but maybe he can be a bit scary when he’s mad? *eyes emoji* but it takes A LOT to get him properly angry, so he’ll just stay his calm and warm self most of the time.

i don’t know what else to write rip

but okay let’s get to the plots that we could have!

a tour guide, first of all! someone who’s willing to show him all the tourist attractions but also the spots that only the locals know of and appreciate. all the best food places? pls show them to him and feel free to join him for a meal, too! also he takes amazing pictures with his professional camera so hey, the view’s pretty and you’re even prettier, when’s the last time you’ve uploaded a gramworthy pic? this shot might be your next one. 

a potential employer? or colleague? people that he can work with because how is this man supposed to pass the time here when he’s got nothing to do? that would get boring real fast. the job wouldn’t be something that’s particularly hard or something that requires him to take up the position for a long time, so something that he can quit easily! bonus points if it’s a job that he hasn’t take up before. he’s up for anything. 

a muse!!! someone who captures his curiosity so much that he just. has to write it down on paper. next thing you know, he’s already making a character based on you. is it weird if this character gets killed in the fifteenth chapter? yes? okay then how about the character being the new killer? okay maybe you can be a side character- 

a temporary lover? kinda like a summer fling but it’s not really summer. is it spring yet? ya girl has no concept of time i’m sorry lmao but yes. mostly physical with someone who’s not likely to get attached because he’s only here for a short time after all, but it’s fun going out on dates and stuff and hey, on the off chance that you ARE the one, then wouldn’t that be a good thing? he’s not looking for love, but if it comes to him, then he’s not complaining.

a familiar face? dude’s been to many places, traveling all over the world since he graduated college so what if he runs into someone that he’s met before in another country? did they get along well before? were they friends? were they lovers? did they annoy the hell out of each other? maybe he doesn’t even remember them but they remember him. they might be aware that he never stays in one country for longer than a few months, so will they try to have a more meaningful relationship while he’s here or just avoid him altogether?

that’s all that i can think of but of course we can come up with something that’s better suited for our muses! feel free to come up to my inbox like “yo kitty let’s have our characters interact” or “hey dumbass let’s plot” or something like that! srsly i’m not intimidating at all so don’t hesitate to approach me! or, you can like this post and i’ll slide over to your direct messages and we can come up with something :) 

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 4/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: if you’ve read the last 3 parts, then you know the drill. i just wanna add that i don’t know how coherent this is bc writing it drained me already. i typed it straight from my garbage brain so this is obviously NOT SAFE FOR WORK. if you’re brave or thirsty enough, or have holy water at the ready, then by all means please proceed.

*matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright

we’ve reached the end, folks! it’s taken me longer than i thought to put this part out. mainly because my brain still can’t comprehend that this actually happened. y’all know that feeling where something happened and you just floated right through it then a few hours later when you’re all alone it hits and destroys you like a fucking trainwreck?

yeah, that’s what it’s been like.

so to recap:

friday: the team arrived. i was positioned nicely near the bus exit and my mind, body, and soul had been buzzing and ready for that moment. i had it all well-rehearsed too: niko steps out, i scream like a banshee for his name, he comes over-- with soft hair and glorious stubble and all-- to sign my shirt and take a gazillion pics. oh, and of course i try not to faint or drool all over him. it was almost fullproof. the problem? he never stepped out. he and thiago went straight to the airport for a press conference and were never in the team bus. i was ready to unleash death right then and there.

but oh well. all hope isn’t lost. i’m gonna be five rows behind the bayern bench the next day during the game anyway. got the tickets within an hour or so after sales opened. i can thirst to my heart’s content over him and his beautiful backside for two hours. and i had this huge ass sign ready, asking for his bottle. it’s bigger and brighter than my life. he CANNOT possibly miss that, right?

saturday: game day! i’ve been buzzing the entire morning and early afternoon. today’s the day! my first time inside a football (american) stadium too. and i was kinda nervous about my sign’s debut too. what if he does see it and give me his bottle? what would i do? do i manage to keep cool or do i smash it right into my eye socket in front of him? until now i still don’t know

so we go down to the stadium. my sign was getting some attention too. people, bayern fans and madridies alike, stopped me and asked what it meant (i had to sheepishly explain to random people that yes, i am indeed asking for his bottle, and no, y’all don’t wanna know why). some guy even got it on his video camera but idk what he did with it sjdfdjkfdjkfsfs

i got settled into my seat and h o l y s h i t i was so close to the pitch and the bench! all the drama? i got it! all the shirt-changing action? i got em too! and all the angry niko antics??? best believe they’re seared into my mind forever and ever!!!!

(dare i say, with full risk of sounding like a downright whore, the man’s got real juicy buns in the back oven. like, fuck me!!!! he’s fit as fucking fuck!!!!!!!! he also loves to whistle and scream instructions and mouth off to hansi on the bench. oh, and to randomly thrust his hips like nobody’s fuckin business!!!!!!!!)

(srsly niko, why do that???? GET OFF MY DAMN NECK!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! my 17-year old sister was beside me and i had to be 110% a responsible, sane adult!!!!!!! even the guy sitting behind us eventually caught on to my thirst since he saw me filming niko the whole duration of the game sddbsjfdjfnsm)

anyway, niko LOVES to hydrate and he probably finished around 4-5 bottles of water. at one point he looked over at where i was and i’m sure as h e l l he saw my sign (it was a huge ass board). but guess what? it’s like he knew just how desperate i was and kept on sexily chugging. god fucking dammit, niko!!!!

y’all know what happened to all those bottles? NOTHING! they’re just piled up on the bench never to be used again. i was right there, niko! A CRUMB! just one fuckin crumb was all i asked for!!!!!!!!!!!! he could’ve thrown that bottle straight at my fuckin face and i would’ve THANKED him

the game ended, we won, and NO BOTTLE. a bitch was sad!!! a bitch was going STIR CRAZY!!!!! the team only had one day left before they left for kansas city. i’ve been trying to get info on how to get into the practice session so i can see him and all the boys. but of course! the training session might as well be in secret because it’s invite-only!!! even the paulaner bbq event was closed. the only events that were open were the mall meet-and-greets. but those wouldn’t have niko or the rest of the boys in them.

please bear in mind again that i decided to shell out extra just to make that one day extension happen. 

i had to see the entire team. i needed to experience niko up close. if i don’t get to do this now, then god knows when i’ll get the chance to do so again.

so, driven by desperation, i made a totally uninformed decision to go to the hotel at some random time the next day. ultimately, it was either the hotel or the carl lewis track. i figured the hotel would be a safer bet since i’d been there before and it was closer to the mall where the meet-and-greets would be (just in case the worst happened and i failed to catch them before they left for practice or wherever).

hotel or track? hotel.

what time? probably 8:30.

did i know what i was doing? absolutely fucking not.

but hey, couldn’t hurt, right? it was bonkers. truly bananas. but what choice did i have? in the end, i just wanted to be able to tell myself that i tried.

sunday:

i’ve been thinking about what to call this part. here’s some of what comes to mind:

1. crazy binch follows crazy idea and it works? it’s more likely than you think!

2. if you like it (i LOVED it) then you should’ve put a ring on it (I MCFUCKIN DID!!!!! in my head at least sksdjfksdfsdfh)

3. the day kathleen krüger probably wanted my head on a spike (and i don’t blame her)!

so the events from parts 1 and 2 happened. saw and greeted kathleen krüger in decent german. it was going pretty well. somewhere in there, during the sven/leon mishap, it finally happened. the moment that i’ve been waiting for. perfection!

*record scratch* eh, not really.

look, i’m 5′3 (and 1/2, i’m gonna insist on that). leon is 6′2. sven is about 6′3 or 6′4? anyway, y’all get it. they’re tall af.

and niko? a very sexy 5′9.

so in the haze of mortification and embarrassment brought about by the sven/leon mishap, i completely missed niko going out of the hotel. the binch literally had to be positioned in between sven and leon and all the other tall german people milling around the hotel. my ass had been on alert for him nearly the entire week (and let’s be real, for months) and when the moment finally presented itself, it completely flew over my head. i nearly ruined my own damn plan.

thankfully though, i’d been chatting with the bayern staff earlier and they knew that i’d been waiting this whole time to meet niko. i wondered out loud, “ugh, when is niko gonna show up he’s usually one of the earlier ones” and the guy in the red audi fcb tour polo shirt frowned and said “what? he literally just went out. didn’t you see him?”

my world literally stopped. i wanted to slap myself. my ears were ringing.

niko, already out? how could i have missed him? had he already gone up the bus???

i literally did a 360 so fast i gave myself whiplash and saw through the glass doors the man i’d been waiting forever for. he was clad in his blue coach kit of shirt and shorts. i could also swear he was glowing like an angel (probably bc of the bright sun or the product of my thirst-addled brain, idk).

there was another problem, though: he wasn’t stopping. he was going straight for the bus. and his leggies were f a s t.

and where was i? still frozen in shock inside the freaking hotel!!!!

i’m not the fastest person in the world but man, adrenaline really does work wonders! thank goodness my brain chose that moment to regain its function and spurred my body into motion. with no fucks left to give, i ran full tilt through the throng of people leisurely heading out, past the security guards who looked at me like i was insane (i was), out of the hotel and into the courtyard where there were about 50 or so fans behind the barriers who had gathered to catch a glimpse of the team.

it was like everything was in slow-mo. there was kathleen, patiently standing near the bus door and taking inventory of the players and staff before they leave. and there was niko, with literally one foot lifted to go up the first step into the bus.

my brain did a quick calculation. even with adrenaline, he’d already be up and inside the bus by the time i get to where he was. they may have let me inside the hotel, but i knew the bus was off limits. i had to stop him before he’s out of reach. and i knew that if i missed him, then that would be the absolute last time i’d see him in houston. that was my last chance.

i already had one foot dipped into the proverbial pool of shame. i was vaguely aware that i had the hotel staff stationed near the door and some fans looking at me bc of my marathon sprint antic. why not just take the full plunge, right?

so i did the only thing i could do to stop him: i screamed for him. throat open, full diaphragm, lungs out screamed: “NIKO! NIKO PLEASE!” my voice and the desperation that it was absolutely dripping with echoed within the walls of the hotel entrance.

i don’t even know the others’ reaction to that anymore, and i don’t really wanna know. all i know was that it worked! he stopped and turned around to look. and god was he. so. beautiful!!!

overjoyed that he paused, i ran straight towards him. there was a body in front of me that i barely dodged in my haste and i belatedly realized it was the team photographer taking shots of the departure. i nearly bowled him over and destroyed his expensive camera but thankfully i somehow managed to do a the matrix-esque maneuver and ducked under his arms and up again straight back to niko. the look on my face must’ve been shocking and horrific (i bet) because as i zoomed in on niko, i saw poor kathleen just behind him, still near the bus door, go tense with her eyes as big as saucers.

look, i understand. if i were the team manager of a popular football team, and some woman was running straight for one of my charges, with A Certain Look on her face, and with the bus door wide open, i’d be worried af. she probably thought i was gonna attack niko (somewhat true, but not in the way she thought...or was it?) and/or infiltrate the team bus. my intentions were pure (ish), of course, but my face didn’t reflect that.

the Queen knew martial arts and could’ve karate-kicked me off the face of the earth and away from niko, but she didn’t. so thank you, kathleen. and i apologize.

safe from kathleen’s wrath (for now), i turned my full attention to niko. i was finally in front of him!!!!! my dream had finally come true!!!!!!!!!!!

my brain and my soul were trying to leave my body and i wasn’t really 100% percent in the moment, but even with the little presence of mind i had left it was too much to bear. niko looked a bit perplexed, like i might attack him or something (with the way i looked, ran, and shouted like an animal i totally get it), but still managed to look relaxed, open, and friendly. he looked at me expectantly and i felt my mouth move to ask for an autograph and my hands give him my cardboarded jersey and sharpie. i wasn’t in control of my body anymore but thank god it knew exactly what i wanted.

niko, a true angel sent down from the heavens above, gracefully took my shirt and sharpie. i’m pretty sure my mouth was wide open and probably had some drool hanging off, and i could feel kathleen’s stare boring holes into the side of my head. as he was signing it, my last few brain cells were roasting.

his hair was soft and ungelled, and was damp (he looked like he recently just came out of the shower) and as his head was bent down, That Stray Lock of Hair flopped into his forehead. it nearly made me pass tf out!!! the sun was also shining brightly and his stubble was already silvery (thanks to bayern’s season of clownery!) so when the light caught it, it literally shone. each strand was literally p e r f e c t i o n. perfect length, perfect texture (from the looks of it; i didn’t dare touch no matter how much i wanted to bc thankfully i still had one fragile shred of dignity left, and i’m sure kathleen would’ve brought out the shotgun), perfect everything. i was about to have a coronary right then and there.

i’ve thought a lot about what i wanted to say to him if i did get the chance to meet him and talk to him. i remembered all the highs and lows of last season and as he finished signing my shirt, i thanked him and said “good luck, niko. and don’t listen to everything they say; you’ll always have people to stand behind you and the team no matter what.” at least that’s what i thought i said. i don’t really remember bc i was half spaced out. but i must’ve said something to that effect bc he looked up from what he was doing and gave me a big, and dare i say, relieved (?), smile. god, his eyes. they were so green. and soft. and really, really kind.

he was probably surprised that i said that to him, what with my earlier crazed stunt. but of course, ever the gentleman, he said “thank you so much” G O D!!!! HIS ACCENT!!!!! if you haven’t heard him speak in english yet, or just speak at all, now’s the time to google that shit. it’s deadly af on video, but goddamn, like everything else about him in person, it’s truly something else live.

mercifully, when he gave me back my shirt and pen, i still had enough life left in me to ask for a picture before i finally passed out. i never would’ve forgiven myself if i forgot!!!

me: thanks again, niko. is it alright if we take a picture?

niko: sure, of course! (god i love him; also, he loves to say “of course” for some reason sjkdhfdfjsdkfh)

so i had my shirt and sharpie in my left hand, and was trying to work my phone with my right hand. niko sidled up real close to my left side and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. he was so warm. and his arm was f i r m. he was leaning really close and my brain was short-circuiting from trying to memorize every single detail and trying to work my phone camera.

(note: my lock screen is niko drenched in beer after they won the bundesliga. thankfully, i turned off my phone’s auto lock just the night before. imagine if he saw me trying to unlock my phone with his wet self plastered on my screen. i never would’ve survived the shame.)

as i was skin on skin with niko, my organs were literally failing. my hands were shaking and sweating, and my camera just. wouldn’t. set. on. photo. it went to video, to slow mo, to god knows what else. it was already getting embarrassing and i was mumbling apologies to niko bc i was sure i’d already taken more than enough of his time. and i haven’t forgotten that kathleen was still there! still staring at us, at me, and witnessing every single mortifying thing!!!!

niko, literally heaven itself incarnate, was so patient though and just chuckled. oh. fuck. me. his chuckle. y’all know his voice is deep af, right? and you know that certain r a s p that comes with it. well, fuck. he did this deep ass raspy chuckle that went straight down to my loins!!!!! christ on a bike!!!! my inner whore was literally about to jump out!!!!! i’ve fantasized about hearing it in person for so long but jesus fucking christ I WASN’T READY. ALL THIS TIME AND MY BODY STILL WASN’T READY!!!! AND I’M DAMN SURE IT WILL NEVER BE READY!!!!!!!!! NO ONE IS READY FOR THIS ATTACK!!!!!!!!

g o d. anyway, he finally took pity on me. he chuckled (i’m on the brink of death here!!!) and reached for my phone to help me take the goddamn photo. he set it on photo (freaking finally, thanks niko) and we posed for the photo. hell, he was so close again. while i tried to smile and look somehow decent, i just had to take away as much detail as i could before we parted.

1. i already said this, but his h a i r. so soft. and houston was freaking humid. while mine was literally about to turn into a bird’s nest from the humidity, the man just couldn’t look fugly if he tried!!! he literally had NO FRIZZ. damn niko, tell me your secret!

2. his stubble was SO CLOSE. every strand? PERFECTION. no words could adequately describe it. and holy shit, his jawline and cheekbones. if i touched it i could literally lacerate my goddamn hand. and he had no pores??? fucking sexy cryptid

3. his c h u c k l e (he wasn’t chuckling anymore, but that shit stays with you till the end of time)

4. HIS S C E N T.

okay. i have a scent kink. i know. TMI. like this whole write up is one big banner for too much fuckin information. but holy shit. HOLY S H I T. until now i still don’t know how to fully describe, and i probably never will succeed in fully conveying what it was truly like (and if my brain embellished some of it; i was really too far gone to know anything anymore), but fuck. f u c k. he wasn’t wearing perfume or cologne, i’m sure of that. nothing too artificial that stood out to my nostrils. probably bc they were going to train under the houston sun and spritzing was wasted and unnecessary. but remember that he was fresh from the shower, so that was basically his main scent. it was very nice, very crisp, very clean. basically, sexy as hell. classy. panty-melting!!!! hell, i don’t know!!!! you know what i mean!!! idk if it’s from the hotel toiletries (if it was, good job post oak hotel!) or if it’s his own (then i need to know niko! what products do you use???). but yeah. clean and crisp. d***y supreme.

and there was also something else. it must’ve been his natural scent. and god. GOD!!!! a bit woodsy (?) and quite sweet. i’ll stop there before i say something that REALLY crosses the line.

so my thumb moves, and we take the photo. ONE FREAKING PHOTO. that’s all i managed. i wasn’t able to look at it until my uber ride to the mall later on, and i really would’ve liked more to take with me and stare at when i’m....lonely. but it was magically HDR, and i looked passable. and niko. again: perfection!!!! now that i know what he’s like in the flesh, nothing else will ever come close. but this does come quite close.

after the photo was taken, i manage to squeak out another “thanks.” niko smiled again (kill me one last time, why don’t you) and squeezed my arm lightly before saying goodbye and finally going up the bus. kathleen could breathe a sigh of relief now.

i don’t know how long i stood there. surely not that long since i still got to take pics with serge, manu, and lewy. but it did feel like forever and i haven’t shaken myself out of it. as i’m writing this, exactly one week later after it happened, i still haven’t shaken myself out of it. i don’t think i ever could.

i’m just thankful to whichever deity made this happen. my houston trip was finally complete (i haven’t met everyone yet at that point, but i just somehow knew deep inside that it would all work out). i got what i came for and more. my extension was not only worth it, but completely priceless. i’ll treasure this whole day and that little moment i got with niko for the rest of my life. that’s for sure.

just to end this, i just wanna say something. i know this was one whole crazy and thirsty post, but seriously. he’s a really nice man. a good man. it wasn’t for more than a few minutes at most, but it felt like forever in my mind. and in that short moment, i just knew he tries his best. i’m a true blue niko stan but even i know he made mistakes. i’m clearheaded enough to acknowledge that. but he tries, and he succeeded. and no matter how calm and cool and collected he always appears to be, you can still see how much it all affects him. hell, he literally grayed in front of our eyes in less than a year. his eyes were a little less bright at the end of the season as compared to his presentation last july. when i gave him that little message of support, i literally saw the relief in his eyes and how much he appreciated it. he and the team have been through quite the ordeal last season, and there are no guarantees it will be easier this time around.

you don’t have to like him, you know. but please. a little basic human respect still goes a long way.

there, i said my piece. and it’s done! thank you, fc bayern, for being so nice and game and all-around wonderful. thank you, kathleen krüger, for staying calm long enough to let me have my moment with niko. and thank you, niko, just for being... you. now here’s the ONE picture i’ll treasure for the rest of my life:

[phoenixvinyl]

I was tagged by @louisinmadrid to choose my favorite all time 9 albums and this was a nightmare and I almost cried (miss you G!!!!).

Anyway here's wonderwall:

-Divinely unispired to a hellish extent by Lewis Capaldi. The best album I've listen to in many years. The lyrics are absolutely perfect (lewis is my favorite lyricist ever alongside Louis and Alex Turner): raw, straight to the heart and with wonderful metaphors. His talent is overwhelming and inmensurable). The album is overall perfect. The lyrics + the melodies + lewis' unique tone: I've never fell in love with an album (and artist) this fast ever. His voice is out of this world and it touches my soul in a way no other artist ever did. Also the album is wonderfully produced, layer by layer, by a great team. Srsly listen to this, he's perfect. Did I mention I love lewis capaldi? I love lewis capaldi and he's a sweetheart and always treats me so so well and that's a plus for me, I can't listen to someone that's a shit and Lewis is an angel. (me @ me we get it you're in love stop talking about lewis capaldi).

-Golden Hour by Kacey Musgraves. Well there's a reason it won Best Album of the year. The album is overall great great great. Kacey's voice is beautiful, soothing, goes perfectly with her melodies and the lyrics are great. Also a wonderfully produced album, with the soul of country music that was missing in the mainstream media. Also special mention (bc I love when albums do this) the order of the song is perfect! It builds up the right way for it to flow beautifully.

-Flicker by Niall Horan. I don't know what I was expecting from niall's first solo album but I sure wasn't expecting one of the best albums of the last few years. Niall's voice is beautiful and getting a whole album of it? A blessing. I also love this album because niall is a WONDERFUL lyricist (srsly this song are,, perfectly written), he went exactly for the sound I love the most (thanks niall for the folk) and also this album has a perfect (srsly perfect) production. Layer after layer it was crafted so so perfectly, I applaud the team behind it. Also shout out to niall bc he's just ridiculously sweet and I miss him joking around with @louisandthedagger and me.

-Favourite worst nightmares by the Arctic Monkeys. All the monkeys albums are my favorite albums but I think this /is my favorite/ because it sums up the essence of the band perfectly (also because my favorite song is in there). But really, this counts as all AM albums except the last one. I could go on about production and lyrics (alex turner is my lyricist messiah) but I'd rather be sappy here and say this was the first band I was ever a fan of, the band that made me fall in love with music and they hold such a bright spot in my heart and soul. It's been it, 14 years now? I love you guys, forever. (since I'm sharing meeting stories, Alex and Matt are angels and they were the first people I met as a fan and I was ridiculously nervous and young and treated me so well and with so much love. I!!! Love!!! Them!!!).

-the black parade by my chemical romance. Anyone surprised I'm an emo kid?. Pretty much the same I said with AM. All Mcr albums are my favorites and they are very special to me. Mcr was my first fandom and I love them dearly. I chose this one because I think it has some of the songs that had the biggest emotional impact on me till this day (also, my favorite song is there). Love them lots lots lots.

Made in the AM by One Direction. My favorite 1D album that also has my favorite song! Also I think louis shines so so much here as the mastermind lyricist he is. I think this is the best album and it will always be ridiculously important to me not only because it's my favorite but bc it's meaning within the band. A band that gave me literally everything, the best friends, the best memories, the best adventures, a job fjdkdkd but srsly the most important will always be the amazing friends for life I made thanks to them and I'll always be so thankful for that. My band. I love you forever and always. I miss you every day, every single one. I love you. (also since I met harry and niall can I meet Liam and louis someday thanks @god).

-what's the story morning glory? By Oasis. Even though my favorite oasis songs are not in this album but in Be here now, I do think this is their best album, both lyrics and production wise. It's really solid and the built up is great (also some of their greatest hits are in this one). Thank you harry and louis for the Oasis reunion you'll achieve cheers I'll be very happy. aaaalso I know their media image is shit and has been their brand for years but I've worked with both of them as solo artists more than once and they are both very nice and very kind. Liam even more so than Noel. Liam was actually really funny and sweet with me, signed my stuff - even tho he didn't have to cause we were working- and even talked about one direction with me. I stan.

-the 1975 by the 1975. I love all their albums but this is my favorite one by far. The lyrics are the best here, raw, proper the 1975 essence (although with the years the production got better bc money!!!) and it was also the album that made me fall in love with this band and, just like in all my other fandoms, I've meet friends for life thru them and I'm very thankful. They are one of my favorite three bands and I love them so, so much. As for the meeting story this time, I gotta say that I always thought that matty would be a little (very) pretentious and not the coolest with fans and boiii he got me shocked there. He was so sweet to me, so kind, so patient, he was in a rush and told his security to stop and wait just to keep talking to me (because I was telling him about our fan club in Argentina) and he was so sweet and thankful. An absolute angel, all of them, I'll never forget meeting them bc it was beautiful (also I saw matty again this year at Leeds at he told me 'wow we look like shit in this picture' (we do fjfkdkos) I love him).

-multiply (✖) by Ed Sheeran. Again all Ed's albums are my favorites (my favorite song is actually in Plus) but I think this is - production wise- the most solid one and the one with the better build up. The mixing is wonderfully made, if flows perfectly and well I don't have to say ed is a genius writer but ed is a genius writer. Although as much as I love love love listening to him, he's one of my favorite people to see live because it actually blows my mind every fucking time that it's just him and a guitar giving a full on absolutely perfect show and performance. He's one of a kind and fun fact# the artist I've seen the most live on concert (although that will change now with lewis' new tour). Also shout out to Ed for the free beers he gave us in leeds and Ipswich this year. Love him.

Also what the fuck is this essay the music journalist pr jumped out. It is what it is I talk about music for a living folks fjdkwksl and music is my life and getting a little deep# here I'm just so thankful for music in general (songs, shows, fandoms): music saves lives every day and it's moving and beautiful.

SPECIAL MENTION TO MY FAVOURITE ALBUM EVER:

Before I start crying because I had to leave some albums out I'm gonna tag some people I love so they get a headache like me! But everybody is tagged just do it if you're bored.

@louisandthedagger @lt1grammy @louistomlinsonyear @emohl @rosesau @tomlinsun @curlyhairedprince @thegankles @sunflowrlouis @kissyhl @theystudyrainbows @buscandoelparaiso @tofiveohfive @givemewalls @chinny-chiin-chins @actionlou @suburbanlarrie @nexttxyou ❤️❤️❤️.

[likemesomesalads]

breaks down door/ 90-100 for Enfy, 80 -90 for Old man Zheag, and can I get uuuuuhhhh.. 40-50 for Nicolas Lightthorne?

Ooooh Nico gets some asks :3 Lot the questions o if dumblr lets me imma put it under the cut :3 

Enfy:

90. What is their occupation?

Bapy. Her occupation is bapy. Tbh she probably would become a Pact Soldier too or if the Pact is not anymore then Vigil soldier.

91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them?

Uhhh...I guess? Everyone loves her that’s for sure. Who wouldn’t love a sweet baby? (and live, because Papa and dad would make sure they don’t live another day Imo.)

92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say?

She’d cry and cuddle Ford. She doesn’t want to die. She is literally too young for that.

93. How do they deal with stress?

By screaming and throwing stuff and crying... Like a kid would.

94. Do they have a more submissive or dominant personality type?

She is dominant. She will and does order adults around and no one can say no to her.

95. Do they have a pet?

She does. The ugliest pets EVER. She got the love for them from her Papa.

96. Do they have a stash of weapons?

She does have Canach’s shield...but please do not give bapy a weapon or she’ll hurt herself. The brain cell does not have a weapon use installed.

97. Where do they live? Who do they live with?

She lives with Ford. Wherever Ford lives. (srsly mate where DOES he live?)

98. How do they calm themselves down?

By going to Papa and demanding hugs and ups and cuddles. Only Papa can comfort bapy. When alone she’ll be upset and sad until Papa comes around.

99. Are they co-dependent?

She’s a bapy. She is very much dependant on Papa Ford...I  think Papa Ford’s happiness at least is dependant on bapy too. (I think.)

100. Are they a day, or night person?

Mostly day. She crashes at 9pm at latest.

Zheag:

80. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

He’s the God of War..So I think he would do just fine.

81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant?

No, he doesn’t have any and doesn’t plan to have any.

82. Are they good at mental math?

Actually, he is. 

83. Do they get along with others?

Usually. Or at least he is good at faking it unless you are Caithe.

84 Are they lazy?

Sometimes. Mostly if it’s something that concerns him. Like getting up and making food for himself, or doing his laundry.

85. Are they self-motivated?

He has to be, there aren’t many people motivating him. (Aside Caim, Ulric, Traearne, Zafirah...Okay there are a few people) Although he usually just rather not get motivated.

86. How do they cope with anger?

He runs away, gives it out somewhere remote, as not to hurt anyone, then all is good...Except if you are Caithe because he will boil in his anger in that case.

87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless?

Uhh..does being able to help his boyfriend because he was on the other end of the world counts? Or becoming a god out of his will? How about your brothers and sisters turning you down and villainize you while you are emotionally and magically unstable, causing you to burst everything around you in flames?... Yes, yes he was.

88. Are they organized or messy?

Messy. Definitely messy.

89. Can they remember a lot of information at once?

No. Unless you spent hours explaining it to him, he won’t remember after two seconds.

90. What is their occupation?

God...Before that, he was hitman, tour guide, guard...he was a mercenary.

Nico:

40. How do they become who they are?

Caithe sent him on a boring mission and the bandits he had to take out seemed more fun than her lessons.

41. How was their childhood?

Pretty calm, and basic. Like any other saplings.

42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over?

He’s a bandit. It’s more likely he’ll screw over others. Also, his motto is: “never truly trust anyone.”

43. How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all?

He adapts rather quickly to any situation. Though if something is too tough he’ll just run away.

44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft-spoken, hot heated, vulgar

He has the dirtiest mouth that ever spoken a word. He’s been like that since his sapling days.

45. Are they opposed to violence? 

Not at all. His job requires to be violent.

46. When is their birthday?

Uhhh No idea..sometimes in the summer? He doesn’t know it either, doesn’t really care either.

47. Are they quick to judge?

No. He actually likes to think things through and get to know people a little.

48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others?

Not unless he is on an undercover job.

49. Do they act differently around different people?

Only if the job requires.

50. Do they enjoy the arts?

No. He sucks at arts. Maybe music..that he appreciates.

[jiminies-ahmee]

BULLET SCENARIO: BOYFRIEND!CHOI MINHO

Requested by @noona-clock​, i hope you like it, lovely! 

a/n: he looks so damn good in this gif i simply cannot :((((

Minho is the sweetest 

And he’d be even sweeter as your boyfriend 

i feel he might be a little cliche and cringy at times, perhaps he’s watched too many dramas 

but he’d always put you before himself 

the type to give his jacket to you when you show the slightest sign of being cold 

also the type to send flowers to your workplace for no reason at all, just because he was thinking of you 

and also the type to boop your nose when you’re having a conversation with someone (it’s his way of saying he's bored and he’d like to leave lmao)

the other members would tease him quite a lot about you tbh 

“are you sure you didn’t marry her 20 years ago? you act like an old couple” 

“i didn’t think you could get this whipped for a person, but you’ve always been the competitive type, haven’t you?” 

though he’d deny you were married (you were not) he couldn’t help but think of the day when he could intertwine his hand with yours and look at the matching rings on both of your fingers. 

^^^ it’s a dream of his - his ultimate goal in life 

ALSO 

continuing with his competitive streak 

minho would be quite easily provoked if he sees someone getting too close to you 

HOWEVER 

he will not approach you and say anything unless you give him a look 

the both of you have had a good sit-down talk about the whole thing bc 

the first time he got jealous and protective, he punched the lights out of someone who was asking for directions 

yeah, you couldnt let that happen again

he’d be very interested in your family and he’d be such a keen bean to meet them 

all of your younger relatives would fall in love with him instantly and some of your nieces and such would ask to marry him 

“what do you want to be when you grow up, little one?” 

“i want to marry you when i’m a big girl, minho oppa” 

*cue a wide-eyed, shook minho who looks straight at you in fear* 

“sorry, honey, but minho oppa is marrying someone else” 

your mum and aunties would always tell you to marry minho 

lmao as if you weren't already planning on doing that 

but srsly, you're entire family would be absolutely in love with him, and ask you to invite him to all the family events and gatherings 

and he'd be so sweet about your fam 

asking about your parents and siblings (if you have any) 

sending your mum flowers as a thank you and always listening to your dad’s hour long conversations with so much intrigue 

BUT OH YOOOUUUUU 

he’d literally have stars in his eyes whenever he looked at you 

he’d just be so blown away by you 

by being able to sit with you and talk with you and hold your hand 

he’d literally try his best in every way for you 

and you’d always be his shoulder to lean on when times got tough 

you’d be his number one supporter during comebacks and tours 

front row for everything, and he’d always give you a shoutout 

sometimes sings in the morning under his breath and it just makes you feel all fuzzy inside 

takes your hand in his whenever he can 

lets you fiddle around with his hair at home and literally falls to the floor when you braid some of it or make it look ridiculous 

literally makes you feel like the most beautiful person in the entire world 

my heart is literally hurting from writing this 

but someone tell choi minho that whoever he dates in the future, is one lucky person *sigh* 

[muchdan]

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

[thekidultlife]

#8 Skype Sex | 30 Nights with Jeon Wonwoo

30 Nights with Jeon Wonwoo

((Since classes are cancelled tomorrow, I had time lol but srsly, this was rather hard bc it’s my first time writing stuff like this. I had to do research lol Also, thank you for loving this series! You guys have been my motivation to continue, no matter how admin Leanne keeps on revealing to the whole universe that I write smut haha bc in school i am a straight A student pure and innocent when i’m actually darker than a black hole))

“Y/N…you know, we haven’t actually tried Skype sex before,”

You knew. You also knew that your boyfriend Wonwoo was horny as hell to ask such a question. Normally, he would keep it to himself and just jack off in the shower or if you’re around, fucking would be an option. Yet unfortunately, he was in a world tour and you were at home on your bed, stuck with communicating through Skype and so out of desperation, the quiet Jeon Wonwoo suddenly became straightforward.

“Skype sex? Could you explain it to me, oppa?” you replied, feigning innocence. Of course you knew, with all the smut fanfiction and porn you read in a regular basis.

Wonwoo, on the other end of the line, pursed his lips, knowing that you were just going to give him hell before actually complying yet he still explained anyway.

“Well…how do I say this? Um…let’s just say that I’m g-going to…jack off as I watch you um…masturbate…”

Fuck. I stuttered. Wonwoo sighed and gave up on his awkwardness, as long as he gets what he wants.

You, on the other hand, was absolutely amused. In most of the activities you do in the bedroom, he loved dominating you yet, you were aware that he secretly found it equally erotic if you would go on top. This time, it was your turn.

“Is that how it is, oppa? Then, could you show me how you would jack off?”

Wonwoo almost felt the sensual quality of your voice as he gradually crept his hand down south to his hardening member, palming himself through his jeans. He was lucky that Jun went somewhere with Minghao and so, he was alone in their hotel room with all the rare private time he could have.

“Y/N…”

With a breathy voice, he whispered your name while you saw his hand finally moving to unzip his pants and release his hard cock from his boxers. You thought you wouldn’t really feel that aroused having sex via the internet yet you couldn’t deny how erotic this was becoming. Seeing Wonwoo masturbating with parted lips and hooded eyes made you close your legs together, trying to hide the wetness that was beginning to stain your shorts.

“Hey…” Wonwoo managed to exclaim, bringing your eyes to his face rather than on his dick which was beautifully red and pulsating. “Would you touch yourself for me, Y/N?”

You stalled for a minute, totally entranced—gone was your smugness and dominance—feeling totally curious and horny like a teenager having their first time. Shifting on your bed, you removed your shorts slowly as spread your legs hesitantly, now feeling embarrassed with Wonwoo seeing you finger yourself for him.

Yet you did so anyway. Your fingers slid up and down your covered slit languidly at first, shivering every time you touched your clit. Wonwoo was staring at his laptop screen, devouring your image and ingraining it into his mind—the way you looked so fucking hot with the way you rub yourself as you watch him padding the slit of his cock with his thumb and harsh grunts escaping his lips.

“God…I wish you were here,” he whispered, as he rolled his hips into his hand which was still moving up and down his length. “I’ll fill you up with my cock and pound into you until you can’t stand straight anymore.”

“Wonwoo…” you moaned his name as you inserted a finger into your hole, imagining his words as reality. “Oppa, I want you inside me…”

“If only, baby girl. If only I can fuck you from behind and spank your little ass as you scream my name. Fuck, tell me how you feel, Y/N…”

You groaned at his words as you pushed another digit into you, arching and wiggling your body at the sound of his low grunts and the feeling between your legs as you swiftly pumped your fingers into your core. Your shirt was already pushed past your bare chest, your nipples hard against the cold air of your room as you pinched and groped your breasts, imagining how Wonwoo would have done it if he was there with you.

“It feels—really good, oppa…but, ah…you fill me much better…” with a hoarse voice, you struggled to reply yet you continued on as you rubbed circles around your clit, giving Wonwoo the best view of you. “Wonwoo…ah…I miss you fucking me as roughly as you could until I come.”

Wonwoo felt the lust filling up his head as he watched you inserting two, then three fingers into your entrance as you groaned his name, your breasts bouncing at the way you shifted and arched against your bed. His mind was crammed with images of you underneath him, looking exactly as you looked right now—an utter mess—as he thrusted his dick, making you gasp and hitch your breathe with how good it felt to be completely filled up.

“Y/N—!”

He was all grunts and moans as his hands moved erratically on his hard length which was already a sign that he was near orgasm. You, on the other hand, was in the same circumstance; playing with your clit as it drove you higher and higher into ecstasy. Wonwoo could hear his name repeated over and over on your lips and with a final thrust, he came with a guttural moan; pushing you to climax as well.

As you recovered your breathing, you gradually removed your fingers, wiping them against your bare stomach as Wonwoo cleaned himself with some tissues. The silence between the two of you eventually gave out into fit of giggles and laughter as you returned your gaze to his chuckling image on your laptop screen.

“Well, that was…hot,” you remarked as you shot your brow up, giving a small grin.

“We should do that often, don’t you think so?” Wonwoo replied, discarding the remaining crumpled tissue in the trash bin.

“Yeah, we should,” you gave him a tired smile and yawned, growing sleepy by the minute. “But I still miss you though.”

At your words, Wonwoo made a smug grin. “I miss you too, Y/N. But you better get ready when I come back.”

Admin Hyeri

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E4

Welcome back to let me watch TV 4 u! I watch TV so you don’t have to!

Today let’s explore Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4 titled: The Spoils of War. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s the name of a Clint Eastwood flick, no?

Today’s recap will be a quick one (due to my own time constraints, not for lack of DRAMA) so let’s go! 

First, we watch Jaime and Bronn marching away from Highgarden, fresh off of poisoning Gma Tyrell…

Bronn is like, why the long face bro? We know that Jaime is having #emotions about Gma Tyrell’s confession that she poisoned Joffrey. Jaime is like I CANT SAY. And he gives Bronn some cash money for his services. We get a shot of the giant truck of money which is important to the later scenes. Then Jaime tells Bronn and Sam’s Dad and Sam’s bro (lol his name is Dickon which is ironic because he is not really a dick but his dad sure is) to go collect the harvest from the local peeps.

Next, we stop in to see QPC talking to her banker friend in King’s Landing…

She mentions said truck o’ money and is like ITS COMING, DUDE. CHILL. And he’s like let’s discuss stocks and bonds. And then they have a discussion about investing. It’s kind of boring.

Next, we see Littlefinger giving Bran a knife…

Which is the knife that was used  to try to kill Bran waaaaaayyyy back in season 1. If you’ll recall in season 1 ep 1, Baby Bran saw Jaime and QPC boning and Jaime pushed him out of a tower causing him to be concussed and paraplegic but also gain some of his vision-abilities. While he was still concussed, QPC (we assume) sent someone to kill Bran to ensure he never told their secret. So Littlefinger (LF) gives Bran this knife and is like, let me know if I can be of any assistance. Then Bran quotes some OG LF (“Chaos isn’t a pit. It’s a ladder”) and LF is clearly freaked because this means Bran could also know about his betrayal of Ned Stark in season 1.

Meera comes in to check out Bran’s new wheelchair and to tell him she’s heading back home. Bran is like kewl bai. And she’s like srsly? I risked my life for your and my bro died for you. And he’s like I’m not Bran anymore, I’m the 3 eyed raven. I no longer have feelings.

Speaking of no feelings, we see our old pal Arya roll up at Winterfell and we feel ALL THE FEELS. She’s stopped at the gate by 2 very salty doormen who are like naw bitch, private club, members only. And she’s like I AM AN OG MEMBER OF THIS CLUB. After some cajoling, they let her in and she sits in Winterfell for the first time since she left back in Season 1 and then disappears. Was anyone else worried that she’d left? I was. But fear not.

The doormen go to Sansa and they’re like umm some bitch who says she’s your sis is here but now she’s gone? And Sansa’s like, I know where she went, TO THE CRYPTS! So Sansa goes downstairs and finds her sis and they reunite and hug and it’s adorable. It’s esp adorable since we know that IRL these actresses are besties but they haven’t had a scene together since S1, so to see their chemistry as real life friends play out is so sweet. Arya tells Sansa she’s just been bopping around killing people and Sansa is like LOL WUT? And Arya is like hahahaha jk. Did anyone else shed a single tear when A and S were discussing their past traumas and A says “Well, our stories aren’t over yet” ?!?!?! Cuz I shore did.  

Then they go to see Bran who is still being real creepy and #nofeelings. Sansa tries to warn Arya that Bran is a real bummer now, so Arya’s like hi bro, I haven’t seen you in a million years. And he’s like yes you were heading to King’s Landing to kill Cersei but changed your mind. And she’s like ummm, k? And Sansa helpfully tells her that Bran has “visions” now. But then Bran basically spills the beans that Arya was not JK-ing about being a trained assassin now. And Sansa is a little creeped. Then Bran gives Arya that same knife he got from LF cuz he’s like...  you know how to use it better than me.

Ladyknight sees Arya, Sansa, and Bran walking through Winterfell together and Pod, her squire (which is basically like an apprentice?) is like YOU DID IT YOU GOT BOTH GIRLS HOME SAFE. And Ladyknight is like naw it wasn’t me, but Pod is like take some credit, hun. And she’s like K thanks. Later, we watch Ladyknight and Pod sparring. Arya meets Ladyknight again and is like can I train with you? And they have a cute lil’ sparring scene in which Arya shows off her skills gathered over the past 7 seasons and Ladyknight is like WOWZA! Meanwhile, Sansa is watching and she seems kinda jelly? Or maybe she’s just nervous about her sis being an assassin? Sansa is watching this all with LF, and as they leave we’re reminded that Arya doesn’t like the looks of this guy.

Next, we stop in on Dragonstone, where things get HOT AND HEAVY

Khaleesi is heading to meet Bae and chatting with her hottie translator, Missandei (Missi) about Greyworm. Missi SPILLS THE TEA and is like we did EVERYTHING BUT. And is like it was goooooood. And Khaleesi is visibly shook but in the best way. They meet up with Bae who’s like lemme show you some caves. The last time Bae went into a cave with a beautiful lady, he lost his v-card so this has got us thinking. Khaleesi is like I’m not scared of Bae I’ll go alone. Bae shows her that he’s got enuf rocks for his rock collection (aka project to save everyone from the ice zombie army), but he’s like, there’s something else you should see. He shows her these cave paintings from children of the forest (CoF) who we basically like neanderthals in GoT-world. He’s like look, the CoF’s drew pics of them working TOGETHER with humans to defeat the ice zombies.

While he’s giving the tour, he touches her hand to guide her flashlight. AND IT IS SO HAWT I nearly exploded. He’s like, we must all work together to fight the ice zombies, and she says, “I will fight for you, I will  fight for the North.” But first you gotta #bowdownbitches. And he’s like ummmmmm can’t? And she’s like please, let’s work together. And they truly almost makeout right then and there it’s so hot.

When they emerge from their cave of sexual tension, Tyrion is there to tell her about recent battles. As you’ll recall from last week, things did not go as planned with taking over Casterly Rock, since Jaime diverted the army South to take Highgarden. Khaleesi is like I’m starting to wonder if you aren’t actually loyal to your bro and sis, Tyrion. Then she asks bae what to do. He’s like well just don’t use dragons to kill innocent people that’s what the bad guys do.

Next, no-knuckles (NK) and Bae have a discussion about Khaleesi. NK is like, she’s fly, no? And Bae is like “she has a good heart” and NK is like, boi you been checkin’ out more than her heart. They see good ole Missi who asks ‘bout Bae’s name “Jon Snow” and he has to explain it’s because he’s a bastard. They ask her about why she loves Khaleesi so much and she says it’s cuz they chose her as their leader and also knows she could leave if she wanted.

Next up, Previously-traumatized-Theon washes ashore. Bae is pissed at him because he betrayed his bro Robb Stark many seasons ago and killed some people in Winterfell, but Bae says he won’t kill PTT because he helped Sansa escape. PTT explains that he needs Khaleesi’s help to get sis back from their Uncle-Crazy-Pants, but Bae is like, umm…. Khaleesi is gone…

Which leads us to the last scene…

Bronn and Jaime are checking out the people farming that they discussed before. Bronn and Sam’s dad and bro confirm that they were able to collect grains/harvest etc… and Sam’s mean dad mentions that the gold is safely in King’s Landing. Sam’s mean dad (SMD) is like here’s a good idea to get things moving along, let’s flog the stragglers but Jaime is like ummm…..naw. Once SMD rides off, Jaime asks Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) how he feels about battles and SBD turns out to be a real sweetie pie just like his bro. He’s like I don’t love to kill people but I will if I have to.

All of the sudden, Jaime and co hear a rumbling far off. The skies are kind of gray and they’re on the wrong side of a hill so they can’t really tell what’s coming, but they #getinformation #beyonce and prep for battle. Then, a BILLION DOTHRAKI (the horse ppl who love Khaleesi) roll up on their horses, raring to fight. Jaime looks, frankly, spooked. His army is like ummm…wtf. AND THEN KHALEESI FLYS OVER ON A DRAGON OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!

Before the Dothraki ride their horses straight into the Lannister army, Khaleesi is like breathe fire, babe, and her dragon scorches a bunch of the Lannister fleet. Then the fighting really starts. It’s a lot of Dothraki really giving it to the straight-laced Lannister army who’ve never seen people fight like this before. And then a lot of Khaleesi telling her dragon to breathe fire and wiping out her enemy. IT IS BADASS and also Jaime looks positively terrified.

At one point, Jaime is saved by SBD during battle scene. Jaime tells Bronn to get the giant dragon-shooter-machine and Bronn is like no way, you do it. And Jaime’s like I GOT ONE HAND BRO, CAN’T (it’s very but-you-ain’t-got-no-legs-lieutenant-dan). It seems like Bronn is gonna just bounce, esp since he loses his gold, but instead he heads to the dragon shooter and gets it locked and loaded.

Meanwhile, Tyrion is watching this mayhem and he seems kinda sad. A Dothraki dude is like wow, your people are bad at fighting and Tyrion sees his Bro Jaime out there and seems remorseful. While Tyrion watches his bro struggle on the battlefield, Jamie also looks around at the destruction and fire and seems deeply sad as well.

But back to the battle, Bronn is firing away at the dragon with the giant-dragon-shooter. After some misses, he finally hits the dragon and successfully wounds him. In retaliation, the Dragon blows up dragon-killer-machine (Bronn narrowly escapes). Wounded, the dragon has to land on the shore and Khaleesi hops off to survey the damage to her baby boi. Jaime sees Khaleesi and is like, well, here’s my chance. He’s riding toward her on his horse and Tyrion sees this all and keeps saying, “flee you idiot” because, presumably, he doesn’t want to see either of these people killed.

Jaime rolls up, about to stab Khaeesi and it looks like it might happen when all of a sudden, the dragon brings his head around breathes fire directly at Jaime. At the same time, someone (it looks like Bronn) grabs Jaime and pulls him into the water to escape the fire blast. BUT THEN we just get a clip of Jaime sinking into the water and MAYBE DROWNING?!?!?!?!?!! OMG THIS EPISODE WAS AMAZING I AM GAGGED.

Let’s recap

Biggest surprise this ep: KHALEESI ROLLING UP ON A DRAGON!! Also, is Jaime dead?!?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: the cave of sexual tension was kind of a letdown but I think it’s happening people, I think it’s coming.

Important fashion moments: I’m loving the little getup Arya is wearing during her sparring match with Ladyknight. Also everything Khaleesi and Missi are wearing is #bomb.

Who died this ep? A bunch of Lannister army people, maybe SMD? Also a bunch of Dothraki too. And then the big Q- maybe Jaime?

Thanks for reading!!! Follow me on tumblr! Tell your friends!

Also, a disclaimer that I posted last week:

You might IDGAF this but just to lay it out there, I purposefully avoid all other recaps/reviews/think-pieces about the latest episode in the time between watching the ep and writing this recap. Sometimes I will hop on to the GoT wiki page to find out a character’s name or check a fact but mostly it’s just my own notes that I reference.

WHY AM I EVEN SAYING THIS? I often will read other recaps/reviews after writing and posting this one and I’m like OMG WE HAD THE SAME REACTION/ SAID THE SAME THING about a scene or a character. So I guess I just wanted to say that any similarities between this recap and any other recap are unintentional and coincidental.

I know what you’re thinking: PROVE IT. Well, much like Bae trying to prove the ice zombies are real, I can’t prove it, I can only state the facts and hope that my time-worn face and honest peepers will be enough :)

[ommajinyoung]

Diamond Edge in MY

- ALL THOSE PHOTOS THAT I HAVE SEEN BEFORE DIDNT DO THEM JUSTICE AT ALL. THEY ARE LIKE SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME IN REAL LIFE LIKE ARE YOU REALLLL?????<p>

- DINO'S "SAY HO! SAY HOHO! SAY HOHOHO! SAY AH YEAH! SAY DINO! SAY SEVENTEEN! SAY DINO JJANG!" AND HIS CUTE SMILE IN THE END. NOT TO MENTION THAT JUN/ JEONGHAN (im not sure cant really see it well) LITERALLY KNELT ON THE FLOOR BEING TOO EMBARRASED.

- VERNON IS SO DAMN DONE WITH THE TRANSLATOR FOR NOT TRANSLATING THE CORRECT MESSAGE. HE WAS LIKE FACING US WITH HIS BACK AND LIKE JUST PUT UP BOTH OF HIS HAND SURRENDING.

- PERFORMANCE TEAM. LIKE HELLO??? OMG REMIX VER IS SO LIT LIKE I ALMOST DIED. LIKE THEIR DANCE ARE LIKE WOW.

- HIPHOP TEAM. 언행일치 HYPED EVERYONE AND LIKE THE FIREWORKS JUST MADE EVERYTHING HOTTER. IF I CHOREO AT THE END KILLED EVERYONE. WHY JUST WHY.

- VOCAL TEAM. I FORGOT TO SCREAM BECAUSE I WAS SO IN AWE WITH THEIR VOCALS. I CANT EVEN CLOSE MY MOUTH. THEIR VOICES JUST MATCH EACH OTHER'S SO PERFECTLY LIKE IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE????

- THEY WERE FILMING GOING SEVENTEEN AS WELL!!! HOSHI AND VERNON HAD A HIGH NOTE BATTLE WITH CARATS AND VERNON LOST. HAHAHA. HIS PUNISHMENT WAS TO DANCE. AFTER HE DANCED, CARATS CHANTED "HOSHI! HOSHI! HOSHI!" BUT HOSHI SAID THAT THE NEXT STAGE IS READY SO HE DIDNT DANCE :(

- DINO AND SEUNGKWAN ACTUALLY LOSE ALOT OF WEIGHT. :(

- THEY DID A MENT BEFORE DWC AND LIKE VERNON WAS IN CHARGE OF DOING THE MENT BUT EVERYONE INTERRUPTED HIM AND HE WAS LIKE "ERM IF YOU GUYS CONTINUE TO BE LIKE THIS, I CANT COMPLETE MY MENT"

- LETS SEE WHY WAS HE INTERRUPTED. SO IDK WHO SAID THAT JEONGHAN SAID HE WANT TO DANCE SO THEY PUT ON A SONG FOR HIM. HE DANCED SO CUTELY I WANNA DIE. THEN ONE OF THE MEMBERS CHANTED JOSHUA'S NAME SO HE CAME OUT AND DANCED. AND LASTLY MINGYU. LMAO POOR MINGYU. WHEN HE DANCED, THE MEMBERS WERE SO NOT INTERESTED AND LIKE GIVING THUMBS DOWN AT THE BACK. AFTER HE FINISHED, SEUNGKWAN WAS LIKE "WOOOOOO" AND SUDDENLY SANG WE GONNA MAKE IT SHIN CUZ HE THOUGHT IT WAS SMOOTH HAHAHAHAHAHA. WE DIED

- THEY SAID THAT DWC IS THEIR LAST SONG AND EVERYONE WAS LIKE "NOOOOO!!!!!!" WHEN IT STARTED, EVERYONE SANG DWC TOGETHER AND THE STAGE IS SO LIT (HOW CAN YOU NOT WITH DWC)

- THEY PUT ON A VIDEO ABT SEVENTEEN'S MESSAGE TO CARAT WHILE WAITING FOR ENCORE. I CRIED. I AM MINGYU'S OXYGEN, HOSHI'S 10 FINGERS, I AM DK. THE MESSAGES ARE SO HEART-WARMING (WE DONT DESERVE THEM)

- ENCORE! THEY WALKED TO THE EXTENDED STAGE DURING SHINING DIAMONDS AND LIKE KEEP POSING TO THE CAMERAS. WOOZI AND JEONGHAN KEEP COMING TO MY SIDE!!! SO BLESSED.

- AKKINDA! CARATS SANG ALONG AND DID THE FANCHANTS AS WELL!!!

- HEALING!!! MINGYU CAME TO MY SIDE OF THE STAGE (YALL I ALMOST FAINTED) AND SQUATED. SEUNGKWAN WAS STANDING BEHIND HIM. THEY BOTH SHAKE THEIR HEADS SO CUTELY I SRSLY THOUGHT I WAS DYING. WHEN MINGYU WANTS TO GET UP, SEUNGKWAN KINDA HIT HIM AND LAUGHING WHEN MINGYU LOOKED AT HIM.

- THEY SAT ON THE STAGE WHILE GIVING ENDING MENT! THEY SAID THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THEY ARE DOING THIS SINCE THE START OF WORLD TOUR.

- (i cant rmb what all the members said so i will just tell what i remembered) COUPS SAID THEY ARE GOING BACK TMR AND THEY WILL BE COMING BACK WITH BETTER IMAGES. JOSHUA SAID THAT WE MADE THEM WANNA TO COME BACK TO MSIA. (I CANT THIS IS SO 😭😭😭) THEY REALLY WANNA COME HERE NEXT TIME. THE8 USED CHINESE AND TOLD US TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON THE NEXT TIME WE ARE SEEING THEM AS THEY WILL KEEP IMPROVING THEMSELVES AS WELL. DINO SAID COUNTLESS TIMES OF THANK YOU AND HE LOOKED SO GENUINE. HIS SMILE IS REALLY SO CUTE (HE IS MY BIAS WRECKER RN) MOST OF THEM SAID THAT WE ARE THE REASON THEY ARE HAVING WORLD TOUR, WE ARE THE REASON THEY ARE STILL HERE, THEY WILL WORK HARD TO BRING A BETTER PERFORMANCES AND MUSIC FOR US IN THE FUTURE AND ASK US TO WAIT A LIL BIT MORE.

- IT ENDED SO BEAUTIFULLY AND MY MIND IS ACTUALLY NOT FUNCTIONING NOW. NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. SEVENTEEN DESERVE THE LOVE ALL OVER THE WORLD AND UNIVERSE. MY LOVE FOR THEM JUST INTENSIFIED 171717171717 TIMES AFTER TODAY. MY LIFE GOAL IS COMPLETE! I LOVE SEVENTEEN 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕