#srry for the lack of posts btw

[vampiirex]

out for breakfast <3

he got chicken n waffles with a side of homefries ^_^

also, some photos my mom took n bloopers are under the cut! please show her some love, she is very excited for me to post the pictures she took

bloopers (she got hot sauce on his hair and washed it off with ice lol!!!)

[cosmobrain00]

alrght wish me luck after almost a week im finally kicking my own ass back into action n attempting the impossible: finishing my bylerween fic w still almost half of the fic unfinished lets go ‼️‼️

[sqauckxxyy]

THEYRE MY BABYS😣😣

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE😭😭

Btw srry for the lack of posts😞 I’ve started school again recently and I also started an editing account (@squackxyy on tt) so didn’t have a chance to draw😓

[4sk-t1cc1-t0by]

“I-I lo- lost a bet with Je- Je- Jeff again… ho- honestly I’m n- not complaining th- tho, I loo- look good A- AS FUCK.”

(Srry for the major lack of posts btw, I just haven’t gotten any asks yet lol)

[seaghosst]

srry for lack of actual posts btw school and me mental illness r. kicking my ass

[mahazsine]

(NICE DREAM) 𝜗𝜚

‘’ they dug me my very own garden ! ‘'

megumi ! x fem!reader more like a childhood memory, jjk au , megumi just got abandonned n never met tsumiki. reader is a non-sorcerer btw

note : REPOST first time posting my writing on tumblr.. my english is HORRID srry! wrote this last summer bc i ws mad n felt angsty but it ended up happier than i thought, might continue later i forgor everythin i wanted to add

as a child, you had a very normal life, if you can qualify that 

a loving family, that sometimes fights, but always comforts each others ; that’s what a family’s made for right ? everybody has his very own role, personnalities are just a facade

‘’you’re sat here complaining with a table full of food, while someone out there isn’t’’, your father would say everytime you weren’t done eating. you pout, showing that sweet, funny expression kids have, before your parents laugh, apologizing

‘’ somoene out there isn’t’'

are you hungry ?

the little boy looked up at you, his eyes still red and sore, fighting the urge to itch them

‘’ yes. ‘’ he answerend softly, politish suprising whisper, sounding more like a sigh.

here !

you handed him a piece of bread filled with cheese, that you were supposed to eat for lunch at school, and sat right next to him.

after a few minutes of watching him eat messily and relieve his stomach, you spoke up

‘’ wanna play? its getting boring out here !’’

he didn’t answer, only looking at your liveful eyes, and the pout that started forming on your little girl’s face, seemingly disappoiting by his lack of response

‘’tag you’re it !’'

you suddenly stood up, a huge infectious smile decorating your features as you started running away from him, standing a few meters away and waiting for a reaction

and his tired eyes lit up, someone was playing with him ! was he normal ? like all those other brats spending their days eating expensive ( at least, for him ) snacks in front of him, complaining constantly and yelling at their parents ?

no he was still different, and so you were

you

who’s face became bright everytime you saw your parents or a family member in front of the school door, instead of being an ungrateful child, you wave goodbye to your friends and jump into their arms

your pouts and complains had something comforting in them, that tone you use was never meant to show any kind of hate or harm, on the opposite, bringing a wave of faith and love

you

‘ weren’t just different

you were special

that late afternoon, waiting for your parents to come back, watching your face turn into a sobbing mess after long minutes, turning into an hour, of playing hide and seek. how your arms met his shoulders in a tight comforting embrace

you gave him hope.

that night, while coming back to his shelter, something felt different about the way the stars lit up the sky

‘’the moon is beautiful isn’t it ? ‘’ he had randomly sighed while your sobs and tears filled up the air, you looked up lazily, looking at his soft blu-ish eyes and suprisingly long lashes

‘’mhm’'

he was eight, you were six, but for a moment, it felt all different. a kid uncovering fear, another one experiencing true warmth for the first time

oh how you wish you could go back to these days.

where everyone apologized, comforted you ! where you could smile childishly and carelessly, without worrying about any sort of foolish things such as insecurities

but there you are, on the school’s abandonned bathroom floor, bawling your eyes out, how ironic.

hurts to be the one to remember

‘’oh , what’s .. ‘'

no way

these eyes, this demeanor, this messy yet altogether hairstyle

could it be ?

ha no you must be hallucinating, or even funnier, dreaming !

would be a nice dream tho

(nice dream) you had both thought at that exact moment

‘’ hey ? ‘'

alright you’re not dreaming

as for him, he obviously recognized the little girl who saved him from dying. maybe from hunger, or simply giving up ?

[pizzano-tcreampuff-offical]

(srry for the lack of posts btw I have no ideas rn)

[ruinxl0ve]

My TH acc lmfao

[short-black-diamond]

NOOOOOoooooooo.....

UHMMMMMMMMMM, I’m alive, haven’t posted in a while and i’m sorry, anyways, here’s a thought that crossed my mind! 

Hope y’all like it! BTW, no good ending for deku, like, Reader ends up with Bakugo n shit. 

Um Um gender neutral (They/them/their), no name called, like (Y/n), I didn’t write (Y/n), annnnd, yeah. 

Um, so it’s actually mutual pining, but...yeah, i dunno.  READ!

---

Bruh, imagine one sided love with Deku. 

You, who has known Midoriya Izuku all their life, who has been there for him when he found out that he was quirkless, when he got made fun of by Bakugo, when he didn’t feel his best.

So...

Why?

Why is he doing that to you? 

Why is he going towards Uraraka and not to you, with your outstretched arms, ready to hug him when he fucked up throwing the ball in the first test they had with the whole class on the first day of school? She only gave him a pat on the shoulder. 

Why was he trying to talk to Todoroki when the latter one didn’t want to have to do anything with the green haired boy? Why did Izuku care so much?

Why didn’t he talk to you as much as he did when it was just you two against the world?

Then it hit you. 

You loved him, but he only liked you. yeah, that’s it. Nothing more. 

anger, sadness and pain filled your whole body and soul the more you thought about it, and before you saw it coming, you spent the rest of the holidays alone, training to become a better person. 

Not once, ever since Deku met All Might, did you get a message other than ‘can’t srry’, ‘’m training rn’, ‘Maybe next time?’, or read on your phone from that freckled boy.  

Heartbreak. 

that’s what it was, yes...

You were so stupid. Why didn’t Deku tell you about his quirk that he had after all? Why was Uraraka the first one to witness it? Why was Bakugo the first one to find out about it? Why are Todoroki, Iida, Uraraka and Deku suddenly close friends with each other?

Why?

Is it because you’re somebody he knows already? Someone he thinks is boring? didn’t he like you anymore? Is that why he barely talks with you, too busy blushing whenever Uraraka touches or smiles at him?

You wanted to puke. You wanted to rip your heart out. Bang your head against a wall, fall down a building, drink poison, anything to stop those fucking butterflies erupting in your stomach whenever you thought about your ex bestfriend. 

Stupid feelings...!

...

...

...

It’s Sero, who notices your absence and lack of optimism first. Knocking swiftly on your door before opening it slowly, he is met with you pushing yourself up with your arms on a bar, in a handstand. 

“Whoah, you alright there?“, he asks, cautiously stepping closer and sitting down on your bed. a soft matress welcomed his ass as he sat down, and he sunk down a bit because of his weight.  

You didn’t hear the scotch tape dispenser and kept up with your training, sweat forming on legs, arms and neck, as well as on your forehead, rock music blasting your eardrums. your eyes were trained on the ground as to not loose your balance. 

Huh, pretty cozy in here., Sero thought.

Just now, the black haired boy realised that he has never been in your room until now. 

Sero looked around. He counted two pots of plants by the balcony, three little aquariums on your bookshelves, a big, little house like cage for Koda’s and your bunnies, which they rested in peacefully (yes, Koda canonly owns a bunny!) and as to not disturb them, you heard music with your earphones and tried your best to keep quiet with your groans. 

On the floor were some lost leaves for the bunnies, a few slices of carrot on the old fashioned nighttable, and lots of pet toys. but, there were also many pillows. A few people could make a pajama party here. 

And that became Sero’s idea. He smirked while watching you as he dialed Denki’s number, who then contacted the whole group. 

Soon, the loud people met your sweaty body and Sero looking at your form. They looked around, everyone thinking the same thing. 

They’re not as intimidating as they look. 

Suddenly, your feet met the ground, but you didn’t make a noise. you panted slowly as you stood up, but your sould nearly left your body when you saw the five people in your dorm room. 

“What the fuck? What are you guys doing here?!“, you whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake the furry pair in their nice little home. 

“Sero chatted us!“, mina cheered silently. 

“You looked down a little, so I thought we could chill a little.“, Sero gave back, speaking quietly. 

You locked eyes with Bakugo, and to your utter disbelief, he gave you a look of concern.

“You okay? You seem...dried out.“, he rasped, eyeing your body which was covered in sweat. 

You didn’t know what to say. 

Was THE Bakugo Katsuki asking about your wellbeing???!

“I...need a shower. Don’t be loud or touch anything.“, you then commanded upon seeing Kirishima, Denki and Mina play with your fishes. 

...

...

...

After about twenty minutes with a cold shower later, you were met with the sight of the five people having widen out your bed and everyone laying on it in a tangled mess; Mina was sleeping on Sero, Sero’s legs were on Denki’s stomach, Denki’s back was on Kirishima’s back, and Bakugo has somehow managed to sleep next to them without them touching him. 

You chuckled quietly and struggled to find a place to sleep on without laying your body parts on somebody else’s, when Bakugo pulled you flush against his chest. 

You blushed furiously while trying to escape from his vice grip, but he only pulled you closer. “Um...Bakugo-”

“Let’s stay like this. Tell me. Why are you behaving like that?“, he whispered. The soft snores of your loud friends signaled that you and Bakugo were the only ones awake at this hour. 

And that gave you time to think about your answer. 

“I...well, it’s about Izu- Midoriya.“

“Ouch, what did he do to make himself land on last name basis with ya?“

You laughed a little, your nervousness about being so close--too close--with your childhood rival, fading a little. 

Huh, it’s pretty nice with him. 

Only now did you feel his chiseled hand trail up and down your body, relaxing you. comforting you. 

“I don’t know. First thing I know, we’re besties, it’s me and him against the world, and the boom. Suddenly he has all those other...those better people around him...“

Bakugo listened to what you whispered. He didn’t say anything. 

“...He is friends with Todoroki, son of the number one pro hero. With Iida, son of a rich family. With Uraraka, whom he must have a crush on...!

I-I mean, look at her! She’s so much more than me..! She is so nice! While I’m trying to be intimidating and shit. She has a nice, high voice, while mine is grotesquely deep. she can make things float! And what can I do with my quirk? No-“

A pair of soft, caramel tasting lips touched yours tenderly. He pressed them on you, very slowly, cautiously, as not to ram into you. His lips were made to fit against yours it seemed. 

he breathed out a sigh, and you, being completely shocked and surprised, calmed down a bit after a few seconds. Then you closed your eyes and cherished the moment. 

After a little more moments of that sudden intimacy, you guys broke the kiss. 

You still had your eyes closed, still feeling the explosive boy’s lips on yours. When you opened your eyelids, you caught him looking at you with a little smile. 

“Please don’t think so lowly of yourself. If you want to know, ‘m havin’ a hard time catchin’ up with ya. Yer more than that floaty bitch, y’know? And about that damn nerd...I’ll handle this. a’ight?“

Unable to say anything - then again, what could you say? - you nodded. 

And then, you saw Katsuki avert his eyes, his cheeks changing their colour and he stuttered something. 

“...w-would you like to... go out ...with me or somethin’?“

at that, you smiled. “Sure, why not?”, and you snuggled into his tits. chest.

Securely, you fell into a deep slumber in the arms of your former enemy. 

But...that didn’t seem to be so bad now. 

...

“Oi, you ready or nah?“, your boyfriend sneered, standing in the doorway. you were putting on a jacket to your school uniform. “Katsuki it’s cold.“

“I am hot.“

“I know, now put on this hoodie.“

“No.“

“...Why not?“

“It’s-“ - “Put it on.“

“Okay.“

You felt a pair of eyes staring at you when you left the UA building to go hiking with Katsuki and when you turned around, you saw Midoriya looking at you with a sad expression. 

Why was he looking at you like that? He has Uraraka after all! And his new best friend Todoroki! And the little brother of the Pro Hero Ingernium! 

since you had no feelings for the green haired guy anymore, you gave him a look of disgust before turning around and looking forward to the date your boyfriend wanted to take you on. 

... 

...

...

“why...?“, Izuku asked himself, after you gave him stank eyes and fucked off with his childhood friend. Hand in hand. Ouch. 

Uraraka grabbed her chance to confess. 

“well, maybe they like Bakugo more? And don’t worry, you’ll find somebody better soon!“, she cheered.

But Izuku was having none of that. 

“No, I’ll talk to them. I can’t believe they’d date Kachan! I don’t want to believe it!”, soon, tears blurred his vision and he retreated back to his dorm room, leaving the floating girl in the common room. 

In his room, Izuku took off all the posters. Yes, the All Might posters. 

...

“we’ll be heroes together! Okay Izuku?! Kachan?!“, you yelled giggling, and your two best friends cheered. 

“Yes! I’ll be the number one pro hero!“

“No, I will be!“

“Jeez, why do you guys always need to be number one?! Being a hero isn’t about who is the best, it’s about saving the innocent and fighting the evil!“

“Oh, they’re right!“

“Then we’ll save as many people as possible and fight the bad guys as good as we can!“

“Yes!“

“Yeah!“

...

that memory came when Izuku found a photo of you, him, and Kachan as little children in his drawer. He didn’t remember when he put it there, but it always made him happy. Now his heart broke. 

He saw another photo underneath the first one, and his heart nearly shattered upon seeing the next flashback. 

... 

“Wow, Mido, you really planning to buy all these posters?“

“Yep, I wanna have all of them!“

“Well, talk about hurting the environment.“

Izuku and you were in your thirteenns, you were looking edgy and you were popular, while Izuku was just a simple loser nerd, but still, you hung out with him. 

He was holding many plastik sticky posters in his hand, in a plastic bag, and you were buying eco friendly books in your cotton bag. 

You were angry at him, to say the least, but you couldn’t let him know. 

After all, you wanted to become an intimidating hero. 

But, Izuku knew you, and your sarcastic remark didn’t really soothe his nervousness and guilt around you. 

What could he say? He was a sucker for emos and goths!

“W-well, I will hang them in my room for a long time! Until they fall off alone!“

“...I sure hope that for you, Mido.“

at your nickname, he blushed, and quickly followed you to the cash register. 

...

Now, he was ripping the All Might posters with all his strength, and he scraped the walls a little, but not that he cared. 

Izuku was crying so hard as memory after memory of good times with you and him came crashing down on him and it was tearing his heart apart.

Now, after he even broke the big poster on the ceiling and stuffed all his all might figurines into a carton, he sighed, his chest heaving, and he sniffed. 

Then, he took his phone which he let fall onto the bed carelessly and texted you. 

‘Hey, where r u rn?‘

‘Is everything ok?‘

‘Wanna meet up?‘

No answer, every single message he sent you wasn’t even on read. 

five minutes passed, nothing. 

He tried doing homework. 

Nothing after 30 minutes. 

Three hours later, he looked at his phone again. 

You did read his messages. But you didn’t answer. 

Izuku wrote again. 

‘R u good?‘

‘are you feeling ok? Should i come ovr?‘

‘pls answer...‘

you read them on the spot. 

And this time, you were writing- No, a voicemail?

After said voicemail, ten seconds, appeared, he pressed on the play butten and quickly put it right next to his ear, a hopeful smile on his lips.

“Izuku. Stop writing me. Stop thinking that we’re friends after you’ve fucking ghosted me for nearly a fucking year. And don’t you ever fucking talk to me again. ever.“

...

You sighed, a tired look on your face, as you layed down onto Katsuki’s bed after you gave said owner your phone to place on the nighttable. 

He chuckled before swiping your hair to the side and softly kissing your temple. you moaned contently and smiled as you closed your eyes. 

“You did a great job, y’know?“

“Yeah, feels nice to finally tell someone to fuck out of somebody’s life. Also, can we go hiking again? I haven’t been so close to nature in ages...!“

“Sure, love.“, he whispered before cuddling you with his sweaty hands, but you didn’t mind wet hands. 

---

HEY 

HOW ARE YOU:DDD

HOW WAS THAT

SORRY I AM SHIT AT WRITING ANGST :(((

[spitdrunken]

hiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIII could u do nsfw headcanons for ingo please ??? i’m srry if this is vague but maybe like what kinks he would have or smth ??

btw i’m one of the people who requested the n valentines thing and i loved it sm i love him i am in love with him.!.!.! u described his character really well and not a lot of ppl do well with him since he’s kinda ~mysterious~

ANON... YOU.... you requested n so that means you have great taste,, i’m so glad to hear you liked that little thingy i posted <33!!! (im planning on doing a New n Improved version of the N Valentine's post still sooo <3 look forward to that! tho ur free to send more ask abt him if u wanna~)

okay but!! nsfw ingo hcs!! i can def provide those <33!

notes: no particular warnings :)!

Ingo was a total workaholic back in Unova and, honestly, still is. (Though the reasons behind this have shifted as he was thrown back into the past.) Because of that, he doesn’t have much experience in the way of relationships, even less when it comes to sex. Long story short: Ingo is either a virgin, or his lack of practice combined with memory loss might as well make him one. He jacks off a lot more often than you might expect, though. He’s often so tired and tense, it’s an easy way to get his mind off of things.

You wouldn’t be able to tell if he wanted to have sex with you or not, because he just... Wouldn’t tell you. You could be the object of his fantasies every night and his face would never betray a thing. All his tells are subtle, but he gains a tendency of tugging on the brim of his hat so he doesn’t have to look you in the eye. It doesn’t help that, unless you’re direct, flirting tends to not register to him. You have to tell him if you want anything, because Ingo’s assumption will always be that you don’t. Even if just hugging you makes him feel... Strange... He’ll keep it hidden from you as best as he can. 

You’ll never see him as expressive as while you’re touching him. He just melts. Whenever he cums from your touch, he tears up. Ingo hasn’t gotten all that much physical affection in literal years, and he’s sensitive, shuddering at every little thing. He loves just having your hands on him, or your arms around him. It’s all overwhelming to him, but not in a bad way. Though he’s definitely the type who can cum near untouched, just from having you in his lap and making out or something similar.

This man is loud. Ingo already has trouble with volume control in his daily life, but he makes so much noise during sex that he even notices himself. It’s nothing coheren, mostly moans and whines, with the occasional choppy sentence in between. Ingo loses his train of thought before he can finish any of them. He’s honestly thankful if you stuff your fingers in his mouth. It’s one of the few things that genuinely embarrass him. At least you can always tell when he’s enjoying himself!

Ingo’s not into anything particularly ‘out there’. He’d be just fine with letting you take the lead and, even if you don’t, he’ll still be more into giving pleasure than receiving. (At the very least, he makes sure you get off an equal amount of times!) It’s really nice to him that he’s making you feel good. So much so that you might need to tell him to stop to keep from overstimulating you. Though your first time together will have a lot of fumbling around on his part, it’s not for a lack of trying. Ingo listens eagerly to whatever you tell him to do. He’s willing to go along with quite a lot if you bring it up to him, but he doesn’t want to cause you any pain. It’s simply not appealing to him. 

Other than that though, he’d like praise and/or body worship! Both giving and receiving. Though he’s very squirmy during the latter, and would really take his time with the former. Also, you should definitely sit on his face of you have a vagina. ...Maybe he likes the idea of public sex just a little, but with how loud he is, it’d be near impossible to pull off. He doesn’t want to get caught. He’d hate to think of himself as a pervert.

[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[alittleoptimistic]

Favorite Character Tropes as Wish Fulfillment?

I wrote that title after I analyzed this stuff because I realized a thing about myself I was unaware of. I always get attached to the Same Character. Like, they are literally the same person in different stories. And I want to know why. So I did a little digging and thinking and all that good, good stuff. 

Here are a few examples of my typical favorite character

Charlie from Lost

Virgil from Sanders Sides

Philip from Travelers

the Doctor from Doctor Who (specifically 10)

Klaus from Umbrella Academy

Stiles from Teen Wolf

Riley from Sense 8

Cisco from Flash

Peter Pan from any version of this story

Jim from the Office

Peter from Heroes

Merlin from Merlin

Will from Hannibal

Felix from Orphan Black

Chuck from Chuck

Josh (the werewolf ) from Being Human

Jessica from Jessica Jones

Castiel from Supernatural

Loki from Marvel

Skylar from Heroes

Sherlock from Sherlock

Zuko from The Last Airbender

Killian from Once Upon a Time

I could probably find more but you get the idea

General similarities seem to be:

out of 23

21 are male?

15 have some type of addiction/problem they have difficulty controlling? (drugs, attention, adventure, eating people, killing people, ya know, etc)

17 have a secret

‘neuro-divergent’ in some way? (ADD, PTSD anxiety, depression, something? the kids are not alright)

All 23 have grey morals (probably chaotic good-ish? they all would break the rules for a good reason or get what they want)

19 have a crappy homelife/large tragedy in the past

20 have ‘superpowers/special ability’

18 are physically weak in appearance

18 are Underdogs, underestimated but actually powerful/very intelligent?

7 have a redemption arch

17 have dark hair lol

18 have a sarcastic, sense of humor

14 talk too much

mostly white in one form or another :/

So... why?? Why do I tend to like these characters more than others?

male. I am female and there are a few female characters that I LOVE. They happen, but, in all honesty, they are far and few in between. Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, Hermione, Rey, Riley, Rory (Gilmore girls) Perhaps it is the way girls are often written? I like Jessica Jones because she is a hilarious mess and I relate. Same with... all of the ones I like, actually. They have that grey-moral vibe of real people, but lack the sexy Cat Woman, I’m-so-bad-I-can-kill-you-with-my-massive-butt-and-boobs?? Thing?? yeah? how unfortunate. They are small breasted or, at least, that is not drawn attention to too much. Could it be. holy moly, ya’ll. could it be I like women characters when they’re written... like people? like. like, as if girls are screwed up humans! not objects?? isn’t that incredible.

srry but not srry

an addiction. now, why do I tend to go here? Its a kind of a painful trope. They always go back, and back and back again to what we know is horrible for them. Perhaps there is enjoyment in watching the struggle and seeing them inevitably win their struggle, whatever it is? The strength to conquer the darkness within themselves and do the right thing. It might just make you think you can conquer your own battles?? Maybe I feel like I can relate in some sort of way, going back to old habits, struggling to be the person I want to be. Year after year of the same new year goals...

a secret. This is honestly just a nice trope and its neat, fun writing. Creates tension, and it is usually connected to the addiction. You get invested in this secret!!! It builds up to the inevitable discovery of that secret and the aftermath and all the reactions of their friends. (merlin, Will graham, chuck, etc.)

Neurodivergent. I think this is just me relating to these people. I have bouts of depression and anxiety and am currently researching the possibility of having ADD (thats a whole new weird thing idek) so this is just something that I think I see in myself.

Grey-morals. Again. This is my moral alignment, shocker. So, again, me relating to the characters. Also, characters that obviously have flaws are just well-written, well-rounded characters? No one is actually Clark Kent. characters that seem perfect either come off as plastic and fake because real people do not act like that, or they come off as kind of creepy?? because they must have some darkness lurking beneath the surface (when this is done on purpose, i actually like this quite a lot. Rose Quartz is an example of a character who seemed perfect on the surface, but as the show moved on, is revealed to be a Real Disaster Queen. she isn’t evil, just kind of a brat, but that redeemed what seemed to be sloppy storytelling because it was realistic)

Tragic past. This is just something that authors give to Disaster People to justify their screwed-up-ness. Course, not all of them had tragic pasts, but something bad happened to all of them (except Jim from the Office I think??, but then again, that is a sitcom...)

Special Ability Again, wish fulfillment. Not even gonna lie. I often feel powerless and out of control, this Freaks Me Out. I think there is comfort in seeing the ‘little guy’ (aka le me) having with a BAMF hashtag

 Weak And once more on Relatable-Station. This is in connection with relating to feeling and looking powerless, but finding comfort in the secret strength these characters have whether through supernatural means, superior intelligence, biting humor, a quick tongue, etc.

Underestimated the cap on this trio. The last 3 points could be summed up as one thing. A weak, underestimated person actually has some secret strength. These characters might just be a coping mechanism I have to deal with feeling weak and overlooked and powerless, whether or not those feelings accurately portray reality. I wonder where those feelings came from in the first place.

A redemption arch This trope is often a result of having grey morals. These also help deal with feelings of inadequacy or guilt in the reader?? It makes you think, if they can be loved, surely I can. (i am really dragging myself in this post, which was not the plan lol but here we are) 

Dark hair/brown hair. I have dark hair, I also wanted black hair as a child and found it very beautiful. Also, I think the dark hair goes with the personality trope as a Screw Up. Not gonna lie, messy brown/black hair on boys and girls, honestly, but the short messy thing, is great. and when they go evil for a bit and the hair gets Extra Messy?? That. That’s. Good. (for reference see: Stiles, Killian, Peter, Virgil, Loki)

Sarcastic my flavor of humor. this is turning into the realization that we do, in fact, like characters we relate to the most. I thought that might be far fetched because I’m ‘nothing like’ these characters, but let's get real. They’re me but as a cute boy or girl.

Talk too much This isn’t me. but This is who I want to be, I think. I’ve always struggled with anxiety about being the quiet one while my brother was so much better at talking, making friends, etc. so this is, again, wish fulfillment. i swear i didn’t think this was going to be this self-indulgent but i obviously was wrong

White They aren’t all white. Zuko is Asian. Cisco’s actor is Columbian American. But that’s... thats a really small amount of diversity. Like, I’m concerned. (when i say white btw, I don’t mean just American or British or whatever, because there are characters on here that are from all over. I just mean overall white-looking for the sake of this analysis) 

So, First Hypothesis: prejudice is very ingrained and even with good intentions, i could be subconsciously avoiding characters that are POC??? If this is all a ‘projecting myself’ thing, then I relate to white people the most? Im sure im screwing this up, but i’m not gonna chicken out and avoid this because thats what I’d usually do to keep from dumbly saying something offensive, but if I dont address a problem, then no one is getting anywhere 

Second Hypothesis: Its been known the fiction industry as a whole has a problem with representation,,, I don’t want to discount me being white, but I don’t think this is just me and my tiny entitled butt. There probably isn’t as much access to that type of character for POC. How often do creators have well-rounded, stick-around-for-a-long-time, flawed, funny, sometimes-problematic-but-well-meaning characters that are also POC? not often enough. Maybe it’s not always on purpose. But because of ‘Diversity Points’, character development might get pushed aside, and then the character’s personality becomes Their Race, which is... a crappy way to build a character? The industry has a hard enough time with diversity in general. Maybe people just don't write POC as that type of character. Which makes characters like Cisco unique. I’ve never even thought about that... Good on you, Flash writer crew.

let's fix this??

need more Ciscos???

 if any POC feels inclined to call me out on my bull or give their insight (only if you want to, of course), pls do.

In conclusion: this was interesting, and it makes sense, I guess, why people like different types of characters if their favorite characters are projections in one way or another of them. I’m not saying that we all relate to our favorite characters, but me, because I have this weird, dozen or more of the same type of character that I love, it might be reasonable to assume there’s something about that character I see in myself or wish I saw in myself? Anyway, an interesting thought. What do you guys think? Do you see yourself in your favorite characters?

This has been an honest essay that got too long. I wish I was as invested in writing school essays as I am in Tumblr posts.

[risingemini]

Astrology Information:

1. Taurus (Sun), Capricorn (Moon), Taurus (Rising)

2. If I were born again, I’d really like to have a Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon, and Libra Rising.  I just love the mystical sense that Pisces gives off, and their ability to know about their emotions without the tendency of being overwhelmed by them is just a quality I will be eternally envious of.  And Libra Rising because I’ve never been the sociable type, but Air signs always know how to keep a conversation going, and Libra’s ruling planet is the same as Taurus’: Venus!

3. I feel like my ideal placement for a soulmate (romantically) would be...Aries Sun, Pisces Moon, Aquarius Rising.  Aries Sun because the Aries I have ever met are just extremely fun to be around, plus they have that spark in their eyes that just brightens your day (blows a kiss to all my Aries Suns).  Pisces Moon because of the reasons formerly stated, and Aquarius Rising because they can be outgoing but also intellectual.

Hobbies:

1. I really enjoy writing and drawing in my bullet journal, I make a spread every week and I even made an account for it with my friend Dom (@bujobaddies)

2. I play some instruments (Violin, Viola, Piano mainly) and I’m also in my school’s orchestra, I learned Viola unintentionally actually because my teacher was holding auditions again even for returning students to place them in certain positions and since we didn’t have a large viola section, he allowed anyone willing to learn viola to play it in the orchestra without auditioning.  Too scared to audition with my violin, I picked up the Viola instead.

3. AND DID YOU GUYS ALSO KNOW I RAN AN ASTROLOGY BLOG?!?!?!  But seriously I love having this blog to look at and to see how people react to or think about our posts, even if they don’t necessarily like what we’re posting!  I love seeing people’s suggestions.  

Personal Stuff:

1. I’m gay, and honestly I’m still not used to being able to say it, much less type it and seeing it for myself.  For such a long time I denied this part of myself to have light shed upon it because I was ashamed of it because of what my parents told me about homosexuality.  But eventually I came to disregard the homophobic things they’ve said and slowly I’ve started to embrace it!  Even though accepting my sexuality was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, it was no doubt one of the best things, and I’m elated that I lack the fear to share this part of my self with you :).

2. I really, and I mean REALLY want to get into college.  Like I’m not exactly the brightest student (in a history test I turned in my test and I was wondering why I had turned it in so early and I was MAD confident but then I realized there was a back page that I completely forgot to do and yeah I got docked 30% for that) but I’m trying my best!  My top three schools as of now are University of Washington (it’s my dream school, so not exactly a target), University of Oregon, and then San Diego State University (although my Mom is against me going to this one).  

3. Speaking of college, my dream job is to become a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP for short, aka Speech Therapist)!  I really love sign language (I’ll be taking 3 years of it by this June, as of now 2 years) and to be quite honest It’s just a fascinating language to me!  I also like social sciences in general, like psychology and sociology (though I’ve yet to take the latter!) but I’m really wishing on a star to get into one of those 3 schools with this major!

4. I’ll be an incoming senior this fall, and honestly I’m rather scared.  All my friends have their SAT scores and GPA thingies all set and I’m still here trying to take the test.  But nonetheless I’m really hoping that I can pull through and not only succeed my senior year, but HAVE FUN TOO!  And also, congrats to all you folks in the class of 2018!  We done good :)

5. To be quite honest, Gender isn’t really something I care much for (in context to myself, of course).  Like if I woke up and biologically became a girl I’d be like “oh ok sure”.  Joey and I have actually talked about this, and I forgot what she said in particular (srry bb) but I remember saying that I would want the name Rose, pronounced Rose or Rose-ee (no particularly deep reason, literally it’s because that’s the stage name of one of my favorite Kpop performers).

Fun Facts:

1.  I hate room temperature water, I’m sorry but it’s just nasty

2. The reason why the blog is called risingemini and not ascendantaurus is because my dad gave me my wrong birth time when I started this blog, and gave me the hour AFTER I was born:D.  By the time I got the correct time I thought it was too late, and that Joey and I would stick with risingemini

3. My taste of music is rather disappointing. For the majority of the time i listen to Kpop (my friend asked me to do a ‘the signs as kpop groups’ and i snorted.  Btw for those interested my top 5 groups are Sistar, BESTie, f(x), Wondergirls, and 4minute) and if I DO listen to English music, well I’m particularly basic so its largely pop.  

4. My favorite color is pink (hence the pink highlights and stuff in our blog aesthetic) and it always has been.  I’m not a fan of hot or bright, but pastels.

5. Something really embarrassing about me is that I tend to daze out a lot, especially in crowded places or social situations, but it gets really bad when I start singing.  I’m not one for self-diagnosing but I’m quite certain I’m tone-deaf, even in karaoke I never get a score above a 20 (out of 100), and when I notice I do sing 6/10 times my friend is looking at me weird asking if I was just singing.