#src: my mom and i about a party we were invited to

[int3r3st1ng]

Horace: Are they giving free food? Will: No, I'm just wondering if it's worth it Horace: It's not. If they're not giving free food, it's not worth it

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Bob Snow & Francisco Angones

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Vaughn Tada, Brandon Warren

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

Don't eat the cake.

The episode begins with Scrooge noticing that something is terribly wrong. He checks through his manor, opening a few doors to see. Webby, Lena, and Violet are dealing with a giant beast, Mrs. Beakley and Dewey are messing with a tempest in a teapot, and, in what is specifically deemed "very wrong" by Scrooge, Della actually bonding with a child that isn't the blue one. Okay, he's actually reacting to how they're both dramatically shouting about being the Legends of LegendQuest, but that doesn't seem too out of character for Della. Maybe for Huey.

After checking the whole mansion he goes back to his room, and he notices his seat is occupied by a familiar face.

Goldie: Morning, Scroogie.

Scrooge wonders why she would be here, and Louie shows up to tell him he invited her in. This episode continues the Louie Inc plotline that we last saw in "The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!". That plotline left off with Louie having a choice for his company: use Scrooge's hard work, or will it be the choice that Louie would actually pick. That choice ended up being "team up with the untrustworthy frenemy of Scrooge". Louie sees himself as a professional, he can handle this!

Not even after the opening credits roll, we see that Louie couldn't handle it, as he gets locked into a chest. Louie starts crying, saying that Louie Inc was his dream, and he thought he can be as clever as her, even calling her his hero. Goldie sees through this "crocodile waterworks" pretty much immediately, but takes kindly to Louie's training in the art of cons. That, and she needed a kid for her next con: getting into a "septleventh birth anniversary" for rich families. Who’s the birthday boy?

It turns out to be this reboot's version of Doofus Drake's big birthday party. Oh boy. Admittedly, the annoying living fat joke being retooled into an awkward and spoiled rich kid with creepy tendencies isn't exactly a terrible punishment for our eyes. When I imagined the Louie and Goldie adventure back when that was teased, I never expected anything like this, that's for sure.

Going away from that, anyone can guess at least one of those things Scrooge McDuck closed the door on was going to be the B plot, and it's not about that beast or the tempest in a teapot. We learn that during her adventuring days, after Donald and Scrooge would go right to sleep, Della would play a video game called Legends of LegendQuest. Huey decides to join in.

I do like the subtle joke that the "very wrong" epic speech they were doing was during the game's really long loading screen, which takes until this scene to load 100%. I would hate to say I liked it because it was the only subtle joke in this B plot, but I have to say it.

The rest of this B plot takes place inside the game world. This isn't a case of a magical video game that sucks them in, they just happen to have avatars that look exactly like them with some subtle differences. Della is this strong warrior woman with a strong resemblance to Zero from Mega Man X, with what looks like a scouter from the early days of Dragon Ball Z. I am sure this show is beyond referencing that ancient "over 9000" meme.

Her son decided to go with the joy of being an ordinary farmer who farms under a giant force field, protecting his garden from the bugs that manage to get past it. The joke is that Huey is boring, but Della is fun! Huey kind of reminds me of that other red accessory wearing kid from the other show in this episode, and not the good version of her.

We see Doofus's party, filled with more Beagle Boys than one might expect. Sorry to say, they do not appear that much. He has all the party quirks that would fit someone of his obscenely rich and richly obscene personality. Instead of bobbing for apples, he has bobbing for splinters. His birthday cake promises that it's not full of hair. Even Louie starts to talk to himself about the obvious joke that it will lead to, until he and Goldie get distracted by the party bags filled with gold.

Louie tries to take one of those party bags, only for Doofus's parents, or "servants" as Doofus calls them, to slap his hand. These bags are meant for departing guests, and are filled with priceless heirlooms from his late Guhmeemama Frances.

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

Oh yeah, whenever her name is said in this episode and Day of the Only Child, they have to whisper to themselves her name. It gets a good payoff here in many more ways than one.

Louie tries to run off with two of the bags again, this time pretending to leave the party, only for Goldie to stop him this time. Apparently, she does not want Louie to be a bad party guest! Oh, and she wants all the bags. She also will not tell Louie her plan to do so, because he would not learn anything. Oh, and she doesn't know what her plan is. A lot of her dialogue is like that.

But enough about her way of talking, the "servants" announce that the "universe's perfect widdle (sic) angel" is making his grand entrance. A closed clam shows up, surrounded by angels. It's a scene very similar to a certain painting, and I really don't like where this is going.

Thankfully, they don't go with him barely covering himself up with a long blonde wig. Somehow, him just popping up right behind Louie is the second worst thing that could have happened with that. As he speaks about how seeing all of his guests with their loving parents reminds him of the only parental figure he knows, he sniffs that some of these families are filthy liars that only went to his party to get his gift bags!

One of those people turns out to be Percival P. Peppington, a guy that sort of looks like Willy Wonka and has at least enough money to hire Johnny, formerly of the Ottoman Empire, to pose as his kid. I looked Percival up, he's not a character from the comics, and he never appears again after this episode. Exposed, Percival ends up getting sentenced by Doofus to go into a trapdoor into his honey bin.

Percival: Don't you mean "Money Bin"?

Doofus: No. (hits button)

We never see this honey bin, but judging by the sound of bees and Randy's face when he looks down into the trapdoor, one would be wishing Doofus could just wish them into the cornfield instead. Thankfully, Doofus has mercy for the not-so-child actor, as he merely gets ejected via spring.

Seeing this, Louie whispers to Goldie that he can smell lies. He and Goldie will then talk about the plan to expose the two obvious phonies to Doofus, leaving them as the only people worthy enough to grab those money bags. They say this all out loud, because there's no way Doofus would hear them despite Louie's fear about him smelling lies!

It may be possible that Louie is heavily overestimating Doofus's abilities to smelling crooks, considering who those two phonies are and at least one of their plans. There's Glomgold, with a son named Sharkbomb that always seems to stay on his right arm, and Mark Beaks, who now has a son named Boyd. Clearly, one is way more unbelievable than the other. I mean, Mark Beaks having a kid? Maybe I'm underestimating how many fangirls he has. As he shows off his family selfies, all of them with his kid with the same exact face, he says this:

Mark Beaks: Yeah, I love this, uh, what is this, uh, uh, son!

This line outright blurts out that this son is completely fake, but anyone should expect that. Doofus does not smell this lie, as he just mentions that looking at his family selfies reminds him of his family memories.

This leads to Doofus sobbing and kissing his father's stomach, which happened to have a tattoo of his Guhmeemama...

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

...riding on a Doofus centaur. Maybe it is best not to ask.

Glomgold also shows off his own family photos, which are surprisingly more convincing than the tech guru's, and Louie has to think fast. Thankfully, a quick trip to a nearby photo booth and Louie's not-too-convincing smiles clears that up. How it seems like Louie isn't even trying and still manages to win just seems to weaken him to me, but don't tell that to Goldie, who now wants to go on the offensive. Who is the first mark? It's not Beaks, as much as they seemed to be setting up for that joke.

All of the guests get into the pool, not by choice, and Louie tells Glomgold he wants to talk to Sharkbomb alone. Glomgold decides to try his best at ventriloquism while he's underwater to expected effects. He tells Sharkbomb about how Goldie has the hots for his dad. It's cool to see that plot thread from "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!" get referenced, and that reference also interests Glomgold, who suddenly comes out from the water to ask if it's true.

He tries to cover it up by having his puppet son say "as if", only for Glomgold to take his own puppet son's words as an insult. Considering "Duke Baloney", this whole fight may have a bit more depth than one could see here. I don’t think it is intentional, but that is something.

Eventually, that fight ends with him beheading his own son right in front of Doofus' eyes. Needless to say, Glomgold's attempt to put Sharkbomb's head back on with his spit does not please the manchild of the day. Doofus decides to send Glomgold to the honey bin.

Glomgold: Don't let go, Sharkbomb!

Sharkbomb: Don't tell me what to dooo! (lets go)

Gotta say, Glomgold and Sharkbomb ends up being one of the highlights of the episode. Kind of wish we got to see more of them.

Instead, we get to see Mark Beaks and Boyd, the latter of which suspiciously doesn't want to put his head below water! Also, he seems to have the strength of a million and seventy men. I guess he really shouldn't complain. But I have a feeling he can't go out for a walk without rusting in the rain. I guessed this as soon as I saw him, anyway; it would be fitting for the tech guru.

Speaking of tech, they do cut back and forth between this party plot and the video game plot, and, unlike the last episode, it doesn't do any creative transitions between them. One minute, we're watching Louie plot his schemes. In the next minute, that plot pauses so we can see a close-up of Huey talking about how the fate of the land is in Della's hands...that land being the garden. The joke is that Huey is boring!

Unlike Huey's insistence on staying in his force field bubble and playing FarmVille, Della wants him to explore the world, go to a checkpoint, and use all of that XP he's getting from those bugs to become super-powerful. This is all a metaphor for Huey not wanting to leave his comfort zone even with his mother goading him to do so. How subtle do they make this metaphor?

Huey: Hey Mom? I think I should step out of my comfort zone.

By outright saying it. As an aside, being one of the adventurous nephews, is Huey really the person that needs this lesson?

Back to the more exciting plot, Boyd sure plays some mean pinball, and Doofus is taking a liking to him. Louie tries to find some dirt on Boyd, looking through Mark Beaks' Waddle profile and looking at all of the pictures with his kid. Ignoring how Boyd has the same face in every picture, the biggest tell that this kid may be a fake is that there's no baby pictures!

Louie: Where are the baby pictures? Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait!

Goldie: Click-what, now?

Louie's not wrong, and it's good to see one scam Goldie would never take a part in. However, they need something more obvious. Eventually, Louie gets one, as he gets connected to the Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid's Wi-Fi network.

Even though Goldie isn't tech-savvy, even she can recognize an acronym when she sees it. Not willing to outright tell Doofus about his new best friend being a robot, Louie decides to just ask the B.O.Y.D. what he did two days ago.

To make a long story short, it doesn't work out, as the B.O.Y.D. starts shooting lasers out of his eyes. Wow, I guess I can't avoid reviewing shows with laser-eye-using children.

Eventually, his fake eyes melt, and he ends up falling into the pool. Mark Beaks laments that he's going to need a big bag of rice right before he'll need something to wash off honey, bees, and whatever else is in the honey bin Doofus sent him to. Goldie is impressed, and sends some praise to her not-really nephew about how they should team up on a more permanent basis.

Doofus is really upset that his newest best friend had their eyes melted, apparently at least the second year in a row this has happened. Much like Calvin and Hobbes' "noodle incident" and whatever led to his father getting a tattoo of a centaur Doofus, one's imagination can fill in the blanks far better than even the mighty DuckTales writers could on how that could happen. Only a minute after that aforementioned praise...

Goldie: Llewellyn Duck, I am so disappointed! Ruining poor Doofus' party, trying to take all the extra bags by yourself! Who raised you?

(a minute later)

Goldie: Sorry, Sharpie, I only work for myself! I want you gone, mister!

Oh, Goldie! For reasons only Doofus seems to know, he decides to arrange that last plan with the help of the BOYD. He's able to do this thanks to him grabbing the phone that just happened to slip out of Beak's hands when he sent him to the Honey Bin earlier. Doofus presses the “Kill” button on the stolen phone, and the B.O.Y.D. rises up from the pool water, mostly unharmed. So much for needing the rice.

Doofus essentially does his “psycho rich kid” shtick again, saying that his party wouldn't be complete without him beating a pinata, and he wants to hunt the most dangerous pinata: man. As he controls the BOYD, we're left to wonder if Goldie will just take the money and run, leaving Louie to get beaten by a robotic kid.

Oh, of course Goldie decides to save Louie in the end, putting herself between the rapidly spinning bat and the "Sharpie". Doofus ends up saying this was all a test to see if Goldie could be a loving parent or not. This doesn't completely add up to the cover story, but maybe that was what Doofus actually wanted, as we'll soon see.

Meanwhile, in the video game, Huey finally manages to get out of the "comfort zone" by stepping out of it. This turns the force field off, causing an alien to zap it and kidnap his mom. He initially thinks that he should have just stayed in his comfort zone, but he then realizes he needs to save his Mom. He runs towards the checkpoint, and his level begins to rise. Or, as Della says...

Della: That power level... (scouter explodes)

Oh, dear.

Della: ...it's over 9000!

Well, I guess they were not above it after all! Do not get me wrong: I don't hate this, and at least the line still fits. Huey becomes a Super Saiyan God The Duke and destroys the alien monster with his raw fisticuffs. That's pretty much it for this B plot; it ends with a scene where Della has to wrestle the keyboard away from him because he was getting too "not comfortable". Eh.

In the A plot, we get to see the aftermath of Louie and Goldie's plot: Doofus gives Louie all of the gift bags, and Goldie's good parenthood gets rewarded by becoming the new Goldiemama.

Doofus's parents: Goldiemama.

Don’t worry, that’s not the only payoff, and the other one is so satisfying, one needs to watch the episode because I will not spoil it.

It should be obvious even from this episode that being that Goldiemama is not a pleasant reward to say the least, even without the glass dome Doofus is keeping her in. Louie, knowing this, fights with himself with whether or not he should just take the money and run. Goldie did just betray him a few minutes ago. Maybe it would be a deserved punishment to let that betrayer suffer by being in the Doofus household.

Oh, of course Louie decides against taking the money and running, and goes to the rescue of his Louie Inc partner. This was a turn of events about as expected as Goldie not willing to let Doofus break the living pinata. I mean, it's not like they're just going to shoot someone into the moon...okay, that was a bad example.

Actually, come to think of it, Louie Inc doesn't really come up in this plot. Considering a future episode, he would consider stealing a business opportunity, but he has to find some way to make it technically not stealing.

As standard for my DuckTales reviews, I am not going to entirely spoil the ending of this episode. While it shouldn't be much of a spoiler to know that Louie will not be rich at the end of this episode and Goldie will be rescued, there is a very pleasant scene to see for people who just want to see Doofus' parents get something good for a change, and to see Doofus finally get something he deserved.

I'll also show this: this episode ends with this oddly touching shot of Goldie slipping in one of the on-the-spot pictures of Louie, right next to a picture of dear ol' Scroogie. Awww.

How does it stack up?

At first, I didn't really like this episode, but repeated viewings did lead me to see some of the good of this episode. However, I couldn't shake off that I didn't really like the B plot. It's not the worst, but it's not great, either. The best part is that it's not the mama's boy this time.

Despite the good moments with Glomgold, and I did like the ending of the A plot, this episode didn't do as much for me as most episodes of this show. I'm not going to send it to the Honey Bin, though.

Next, a nightmare!

← What Ever Happened To Donald Duck?! 🦆 A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill! →

[bestbabygiftsnrry600-blog]

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[sehoglows-blog]

its not all shits and giggles (chp. one)

yg vs sm groupchat

milkbunsehuu: baek

chanchan: he’s not here rn, at work, but whats up boo?

milkbunsehuu: idk not much. like, jongin got me hard again.

chanchan: why is our name still called yg vs sm

chanchan changed the group name to sekai initiation

milkbunsehuu: yeol. yeol. yeol. stop calling him kai.

baekiepoo: im of work sluts. yeol get ur ass over here take me home.

milkbunsehuu: why is the bottom saying this and *off

chanchan: ur a bottom too sehunnie

baekiepoo: how do u know i dont switch

chanchan: LMAO NO

milkbunsehuu: right because, “y-yeol, fuck pleasepleaase let me come oh shit. oh fuckk” is SUCH a switch

baekiepoo: oh shiete

you heard tht?

milkbunsehuu: yeah bb, i fell asleep and when i woke up i needed to take a piss so i walked 2 the bathroom n heard that shit

chanchan: fuck

baekiepoo: you should’ve joined つ´Д`)つ

milkbunsehuu: uhm no. ew ion wanna see that mess

chanchan: we all know you like being wrecked bby

baekiepoo: wait

can i add someone?

he doesnt have many friends and he goes to our school!! please??

milkbunsehuu: who?

chanchan: sure

milkbunsehuu: i am so sure you saw me ask who

baekiepoo: yay!!!! its a guy named jongdae. he’s v nice and from China!!!

baekie added jongbae to the groupchat sekai initiation

jongbae: uh hi~

milkbunsehuu: hii

chanchan: dont be shy.

im chanyeol.

call me yeol.

thats sehun he has relationship problems with Jongin.

jongbae: i already know u guys. baek told me about you.

chanchan: do u know about sehun’s daily masturbation sessions infront of his roomie.

milkbunsehuu: HE’S ASLEEP ITS NOT REALLY IN FRONT OF HIM U DICK

jongbae: dont u think he heard?? i mean…

milkbunsehuu: that might be why

he hates me so much

fuck

baekiepoo: dumbass!!! dumbassss! u gotta apologize.

jongbae: what’s ur roommates name?

milkbunsehuu: yixing.

jongbae: omg!! ik hiM!! he’s so chill.

milkbunsehuu: he HATES me. like seriously. (T⌓T)

chanchan: not the emojis. pls no.

baekiepoo: u’d better get used to it.

jongbae: lemme talk 2 him.

_☙_

jongbae: yixing!! yixing!!

dinoxing: whats up?

jongbae: ik your roommate!!

dinoxing: oh ew. ew. ew. how??

jongbae: im in a chat with him!! he’s super nice.

dinoxing: oh? he keeps jacking his cock in front of me so like

jongbae: nooo!! NOO! WAIT FUCKING HELL WAIT HIM EXPLAIN!

_☙_

sekai initiation

jongbae: he knows

baekipoo: you’ve been found out kid! go run. get a room transferrr.

chanchan: add him!!! HURRY JONGDAE.

milkbunsehuu: NO YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT U DARE

jongbae added dinoxing to the chat

dinoxing: Sehun.

milkbunsehuu: IM SORRY.

dinoxing is typing...

chanchan: ur done for. me andw im gonna go pick up baekhyun.

baekhyun: u mean u havent been coming voer?

jongbae: voer

dinoxing: Okay so like, I know you have this huge ass crush on Jongin and shit and you know that he’s my friend and all, but you can’t keep on masturbating in front of me like that. Usually I wouldn’t have a problem with it but holy fuck you’re such a bottom that it’s a tiny bit of a turn-on and I don’t wanna get hard. So, can you go into our bathroom and beat off? That’s helpful. Oh, and, I haven’t told Jongin so ur lucky. (´・ω・｀)

jongbae: too much words~

dinoxing: not even that many

milkbunsehuu: uh thanks?? ill go to the bathroom to beat off?? just dont hate me.

dinoxing: why did you think i hated you?

milkbunsehuu: because you give me death stares and scowling and i hear u whispering about me.

to ur friends.

on the phone.

five times.

how many friends do u fucking have?

dinoxing: well there’s minseokie, there’s junmyeon, satansoo, and jongin, i didnt tell him tho.

milkbunsehuu: shit. whyyyyy??????

dinoxing: uhm. go fucking masturbate idk.

jongbae sent a gif <img src="http://i.imgur.com/lOwiVsp.gif"/>

dinoxing: u meme.

milkbunsehuu: why did u???

dinoxing: im adding them.

milkbunsehuu: dont bitch.

dinoxing: fineee. l8ter

milkbunsehuu: no never

im going home. keep the door open.

chanchan: are u saying u were texting during class? bad sehunnie.

milkbunsehuu: are you saying u were texting n driving??

chanchan: stfu im dRIVING SJDALGSJ FUCGHK

dinoxing: if he's dead i want his room

baekiepoo: so u fuck good i presume?

dinoxing: yes why i have a bf u homewrecker

baekiepoo: chanyeol + death + new roommate = me needing a new boyfriend to fuck

oh wait he's here ur lucky

(≧∇≦)/

_☙_

 Sehun walked into his dorm room with a sigh to see Yixing sitting on the couch watching a new episode of  some drama on TV. He didn’t really know what to say to Yixing because of the weird series of texts they just had, but he was at least glad class was over. He set down his books onto their kitchen counter and went into the fridge to look for something to snack on, like an apple, because he had dance class in an hour and he didn't want anything to really take over too much time. He settled on a small cheese dish and platter from Publix and as he was walking out, Yixing was staring at him, amused.

 “Sehun-ah. Come here.” Sehun stared at the black haired boy before walking over to him warily. "Bitch, walk quicker, I don't bite." Sehun wanted to retort but instead he walked over to the couch Yixing was sitting on, Yixing motioned for the boy to sit on his lap and Sehun hesitated. "Are you serious?" Yixing reached for his hand and latched onto to it, he pulled him down onto his lap and held him there. "Now kid, let's talk. Why do you like Jongin so much?" Sehun though for a moment, chuckling awkwardly as he messed around with his jacket string.

 "Well, for one, he's a spectacular dancer and, uhm, well he's really hot. Have you seen the kid? Jesus Christ he's so cute. And I may have saw him naked, he has a big dick, but that's not the whole important part, there's also the fact that he's actually really nice to me. T-the few times we talked, he was nice.”

 Yixing nodded his head, "So...you saw his dick?"

 Sehun stuttered and turned to look at him, "N-no, it's not like that. I mean, I walked in on him after dance practice because I needed my deodorant and I left it in there, and I'm really clumsy and stuff and I fell and when I looked up i could see inside the stall and I saw his...cock." Yixing nodded and checked his watch.

 "I have an idea, so you can like, talk to him better. I know you don't really talk because he always calls you, 'that weird kid in my dance class.'" Sehun's face fell, is that really how he felt about him? That one weird kid, okay that's great. Amazing, actually.

Sehun was hurt, he wouldn't admit it but Jongin's validation is really all that he cares about.

 "What's your idea?" Sehun asked, begging to Yixing to help him even after he obviously bugged him with his "sessions" but he wasn't really begging Yixing himself. He just wanted Kai.

 "If you want to know all you gotta do is add my friends to the groupchat, minus Jongin." Sehun bit his lip, he didn't know his friends, but it really couldn't be that much harm, now could it?

 "Fine then, now what's your idea?" Yixing showed him his watch.

 "Get to dance practice, you might miss Jongin." He smirked as Sehun struggled to get off of his lap.

"I'll be back later!" And he ran out the door. Yixing laid back against the couch and sighed, he turned over and looked at the television sullenly before getting up to grab a snack.

_☙_

“Alright class, today we will be looking at our dances from last week and reviewing them! Now, you remember than you were separated into groups for your duo, so you won’t be reviewing your own dance, and it’s a group project!” The class broke out into whispers as the students contemplated the what group they wanted to be in, “Students! I’ll be choosing your groups.” The class groaned as their teacher reached into her bag, pulling out a sheet of paper with names on it.

 Sehun didn’t really pay attention until the teacher called Jongin’s name, and then his name followed, which made Sehun make a tiny whimper sound, Jongin scooted over to him and the teacher gave him a disk with what Sehun guessed was someone’s dance.

 “Also, students, you will be doing a whole project on this! So, yes, I want poster boards and a nice report on the dance itself, and techniques that could have been used to make it better! Now go discuss.”

 Sehun turned to look at Jongin, he was quickly tapping away on his phone before shutting it off and looking at Sehun. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.

_☙_

sekai initiation

dinoxing: can i add my friends now?

baekiepoo: did sehun say u could, i added yeol and he got upset

dinoxing: yeah dw. we talked about it.

chanchan: so u tried to get w/ my bby???? @dinoxing

dinoxing: no

chanchan: sure u did. i can scroll up…

baekiepoo: ur an idiot yeol did u even READ it

chanchan: … nvm im an idiot

dinoxing: ik

dinoxing added marshmallow™, mom, satansoo to the groupchat sekai initiation

marshmallow™: oh new people hihihihihi

satansoo: who the fuck

mom: sekai?? what’s a sekai??

dinoxing: sehun’s groupchat, idk where he is right now.

marshmallow™: the masturbating roommate? the one who masturbates to jongin?? who’s kai???

baekiepoo: oh thats my fault, see, i didnt know his name because sehun wouldnt tell us so i called him Kai. after that singer idk.

chanchan: ^^^

marshmallow™: and who are you people?

baekiepoo: bitch we could say the same to u whores we’re the originals. jongdae added yixing and thne BADBVAFM BAM!

milkbunsehuu: im gonna die

satansoo: not important right now masturbater

mom: soo dont be mean

okay hii! im junmyeon. im now ur mom.

satansoo: im kyungsoo. i hate you~

dinoxing: omg he used a ~

satansoo: i wanted to rhyme

dinoxing: bs ur cute admit it

mom: yixing dont harass him babe

chanchan: mooore couples!!

mom: yeah me and yixing are an item

baekiepoo: WAIT

JUNMYEON??

UR IN ME AND JONGDAE’S FUCKING MUSIC THEORY CLASS

jongbae: gasp shocker!

mom: oh yeah i dont talk much

marshmallow™: unless he’s drunk or lecturing. like at last weeks party

dinoxing: y weren’t u guys at jongin’s party?? he has one like every fucking week

baekiepoo: we’re unpopular we dont get invited

chanchan: ^^^

milkbunsehuu: ^^^

jongbae: yeah pretty much

satansoo: pathetic

milkbunsehuu: says the fucking egghead

satansoo: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

milkbunsehuu: U’VE BEEN IN MY DORM

marshmallow™: i want intros from “the originals”

baekiepoo: im baekhyun im amazing i have a tight ass (not as nice as sehun’s tho) nice af legs and fabulous hair?? my bf’s yeol and he’s the best.

chanchan: im tall

im also a fucking yoda

i rap

milkbunsehuu: uhm

marshmalow™: we already know u yixing was telling us about u

dinoxing: sozzz

jongbae: hii im jongdae and i like candy!!!

santansoo: i like this one 4 minseok

marshmallow™: o ya im minseok and i like jongdae already!

milkbunsehuu: i got jongin’s number.

________

link to rest of story: click here

[snarktheater]

Shadowhunters S2 — Episode 8

Remember how last episode Isabelle had nothing at all to do and was just kind of there, suffering from her addiction (which, again, completely misunderstands that most addictions are more about the circumstances that push someone to use rather than the drug's actual addictiveness), and we left off with her meeting with vampires? Well, as it turns out, what I thought was a subtle fade to black as the vampires bite her was a…cliffhanger. In the middle of the episode. Huh. Figures.

So this week we're back with Isabelle meeting some vampires. And to be fair she's only asking for venom, not for a bite, and when the vampires threaten to bite her, she does try to fight them off…but she needs to be rescued by Raphael for some reason. I guess the show's just given up on portraying Isabelle as the badass she's supposed to be.

Oh, and she also faints in Raphael's arms, so…guess where this is going. No, really.

What is this bullshit? Did you not hear the word of ~~god~~ Clare? Raphael is totally canon asexual! Until you decide to create a new straight, forced romance, that is.

Isabelle also asks Raphael to bite her, and swears she won't ask again, and Raphael…does it, even though he just said she needed to sweat out the venom. And even though he has his own moral quandaries against it, if his "forgive me" at the sky is anything to go by.

And hey, you know what we need in this show? Another subplot! Remember Iris, the warlock woman who wanted to make more warlock babies because she was so afraid of Valentine? She's meeting with him now!

Okay, admittedly it's because he somehow found out about what happened, and he's pissed that Iris tried to have Clary raped by a demon. But instead of asking for…I don't know, vengeance or something, he wants her to work with him, and threatens Madzie (one of her warlock children) to make her. So…I guess I gave the show too much credit when I predicted that she wouldn't be working for Valentine. My bad. They really are this predictable.

Back from their rescue of Ithuriel, Luke rants against Clary for not telling him what the Soul-Sword could do. But it's okay, because the vision Ithuriel showed them is apparently of a demon who can destroy the sword.

"How do you know that's what he was telling you?" "There's no other explanation."

Um…yes, there is. It could be a warning against that demon, rather than a "hey, go summon that demon and destroy the sword". It's not like the Soul-Sword is important or anything. But I guess this is our plot now, so I'll just write it off as Mary Sue Guessing Powers.

We see Jace researching which demon he saw in his and Clary's vision, but who cares about the important plot development! Let's have some banter about the stray cats Magnus feeds (also, Magnus drops gratuitous French, but at least he pronounces it well) and Jace acting like an overprotective big brother and telling Magnus not to hurt Alec's feelings or something.

"Now that you guys have taken things to the next level—" "He told you." "No, he didn't have to. We're parabatai." Meaningful look from Magnus "No, it's not—it's not like that. I can—I can just—I can sense that he's happier."

So…happier = sex? That's a weird assumption. (Also, it would be way more interesting if it was "like that", if you ask me). But also, if you sense that Alec's happier, why do you think Magnus will hurt him?

"You think I'd invite Maryse Lightwood to my home for just anyone?"

Can you do anything without randomly taking a jab at her?

But speaking of that invitation, let's backtrack a little to Alex and Isabelle are watching footage of Ithuriel ascending into the heavens captured from afar.

"It could be a shooting star."

Um…flying upwards? Isabelle, I know you're dealing with heavy shit, but seriously? This is ridiculous.

And from there we go to Isabelle asking about Alec's sex life, mercifully cut short by Max running in, followed by Maryse. After the usual "we hate you mom" moment, we learn that Max is going to have his runing ceremony, and Maryse wants Alec to do it, because Robert can't be there and Alec is "the eldest male in the family". But hey, Shadowhunter society is totally not patriarchal!

Isabelle storms off because Maryse didn't come to Jocelyn's funeral or even check up on her children, and Max complains that everyone in the family is fighting, revealing that Maryse and Robert are also at odds.

"Mom doesn't like you having a warlock boyfriend."

I feel like I've complained about this in season one already, but…I really hate that they're making Maryse the one who's not okay with Alec's sexuality, when Robert was clearly the one with an issue with it in the books.

But Alec has a plan to fight the homophobia/fantasy racism: have Magnus throw a party for Max's runing ceremony. That…is the worst idea, which Magnus realizes, but Alec insists until he changes his mind, which apparently is a recurring thing in their relationship now.

Maryse is expectedly displeased by this, and in one line she gets so much bigotry across I can only quote it.

"It's very kind of your friend to offer, but the runing ceremony is a solemn right of passage, for Shadowhunters. It's not some Downworlder rave. […] It's tradition."

Emphasis mine.

"If Dad were here, he'd understand."

Why did you feel the need to demonize Maryse even further than she was in the books? Ugh.

But Alec basically shames her into accepting by pointing out that their family is basically a mess anyway, complete with trying to have Jace killed on shaky, circumstantial evidence and all. So the party's on!

Before we get there, though, there's one last thing to get out of the way: Simon meets up with Clary, psyching himself up to tell her how he feels. And…he rambles on for a while, but he actually says it. And then Clary…kisses him, because her feelings for him have been so well established in the—okay I can't finish that sentence, this makes no fucking sense. Unless Clary's semi-jealous, semi-awkward look from last episode counts? Nah, it's still terrible execution.

So they're going to Max's runing ceremony party as a couple.

"So do you think anyone's gonna notice? That we're—" "Only one way to find out."

The party is as ridiculously over-the-top as you might expect from Magnus. Also Maia's the barista, because she's the one bartender character in the show, so I guess she's gotta be everywhere there's a bar now. She does semi-apologize to Jace for trying to kill him, since she now knows he didn't kill Gretel (which she knows…how?). Maia also points out Simon and Clary to Jace, who immediately goes to them to act like he's happy for them and obviously not be happy for them. Oh, also, Clary acts jealous because Simon talks to Maia?

Cut to Clary following Simon and Maia and see them kissing in a corner. Oh, the drama!

"Look, she kissed me. I didn't know what to do." "That's it? That's seriously all you have to say?"

So Simon randomly decides maybe them dating is a mistake because it could ruin their friendship, and he tells Clary she'll never understand what it's like to be a Downworlder. Needless to say, Clary isn't convinced.

But Magnus the fairy godwarlock is here to offer advice.

"That doesn't sound like Simon."

Doesn't it? He's the embodiment of the straight nonsense. But i'm sure it's something else.

Guess who's not at the party for most of the episode? Isabelle, who's looking for Raphael to bite her again because she doesn't want to show the symptoms of addiction to her mom. Because hey, this episode is busy vilifying one Lightwood woman, might as well throw Isabelle under the bus while we're at it.

"You can get through this. You're one of the strongest Shadowhunters I know." "No I'm not. Everyone thinks I am, but I'm not."

Not with these writers you're not.

Isabelle goes as far as to cut herself to force him to bite her. Can we end this subplot already? I'm annoyed.

Afterwards, Raphael tries to talk to her out of her addiction, and tells her he went through a similar issue with drinking human blood as a vampire, but Magnus helped him out of it. More romantic tension, and Isabelle finally joins the party, just in time to forgive Clary and talk to her about ~boys!~ Specifically Simon, of course. Except what Clary says makes Isabelle think she's suspicious of her, so that goes nowhere. Um…okay?

Speaking of going nowhere, Clary sees Simon hitting on Maia again…but when Magnus steps in and tells her to calm down and she looks again, turns out Maia isn't even there. So…she's hallucinating now. Oh, and said "hallucinations" lead her to snap at Alec for killing her mom, because Magnus figured out that something was wrong, but not wrong enough to keep an eye on her.

Meanwhile, Maryse arrives, Magnus tries to be nice and explain he gave the party a Spanish theme because Robert proposed to Maryse in Spain, which immediately backfires.

"How sweet that Alec feels comfortable sharing our personal family stories with you."

And the "Maryse is mean" nonsense continues with Max as the tools of her evil womanness, who consecutively acts rude to Magnus twice in a row, then says Jace isn't his brother or part of the family, and everyone arguing again. It's almost like forcing people who hate each other in a single place doesn't actually solve anything! What does, apparently, is emotional blackmail.

"If you ever want to make things right with me, you'd better make things right with Jace."

Good job, I'm sure that'll lead to a healthy, happy family.

Maryse goes after Jace…but instead of apologizing she keeps sniping at him. Literally, one might even say.

Yeah, she decided to kill him because of his demon blood now. What is it with this show and having every mom do that while everyone else is cool with it?

Jace knocks her out and gets Isabelle's help, and Magnus comes as well, because he spotted them or something. Turns out Jace is also hallucinating and Maryse didn't attack him at all!

So remember how Clary snapped at Alec? Well, turns out that was Alec hallucinating and now he's about to jump off the roof, and while Clary tries to talk him out of it he just keeps hearing more insults. Magnus saves him at the last moment with magic,

"Now you can see why I was worried about having a party at a warlock's house!"

Thanks, Maryse, that random act of bigotry (which i'm fairly sure isn't a hallucination) was totally necessary.

Anyway, Magnus, knowing that at least three people are experiencing hallucinations, decides to…leave everyone on the roof (now including Simon) and "be right back". What could go wrong!

Well…nothing, apparently. Magnus finds the counterspell, and everyone's fine and apologizing, but someone steals Magnus's spellbook. He figures that the cat we saw earlier was actually a warlock in disguise, and surprise, it's Iris. She freezes everyone but Magnus, they fight of a while, it's kind of unimpressive and consists mostly of hurling fireballs at each other until Magnus captures Iris. Turns out they have history, but I don't really care about that.

She tells him the truth about Valentine and Madzie, and she's already given him the book…somehow. Also, before Magnus sends her over to the Clave, she tells Clary to honor her blood oath by finding Madzie, so…guess we have another plot now.

Oh, also, Clary and Jace catch everyone up about Ithuriel, the demon in their vision, and Clary's powers. Magnus figures out why Clary has that connection with Ituriel, because the first Shadowhunters had a similar connection to Raziel by virtue of sharing his blood directly, which means Clary must have Ithuriel's blood. And since Clary has pure angel blood, she can also activate the Soul-Sword…I guess. Of course, that also includes Jace, but they don't know that yet. So you can expect a twist to happen there.

And that's enough of that scene, let's cut to Clary and Simon going home (home where? no idea), and Simon saying that the prospect of his possible impending doom by genocide made him realize he wanted to spend every moment with Clary. Which…you'd almost think he's proposing to her or something.

We also do get to Max's runing ceremony, by the way. I know you probably forgot about it, since no one else seemed to care beyond a reason to throw this party.

It also ends with Clary telling Alec she doesn't blame him for Jocelyn's death, and Maryse apologizing to Jace and telling her she does consider him her son. It's fairly sweet, really. Oh, and Maryse explains to Jace and Alec that while Robert and Maryse have been fighting, it's not because of Alec after all, it's because Robert is cheating on her. Which Alec guesses…somehow.

"You can't tell Isabelle."

Why not? That's jus ridiculous.

Alec offers Maryse to stay here with Max, but she can't, because she has to report to the Clave about Clary and the Sword situation, and…I don't know, they don't have emails in Idris, I guess.

We close the episode with Valentine acting nice to Madzie, which is actually genuinely creepy, and the less I see of this in the future, the happier I'll be.

This episode was…a lot more focused than the earlier episodes in the season, which is a thankful change. We still got a lot of PoV switches, but at least there was, you know, a central plot to the episode and not a million romantic subplots to the side. And I guess it did eventually try to make Maryse more sympathetic? Although it doesn't really redeem her open bigotry, so it's only a small victory. And Isabelle's addiction subplot combined with her speech to Raphael is downright insulting. So…it's a step up from most of the season so far, but we're not exactly in clear waters.

[networkingdefinition]

Dating Quotes

Official Website: Dating Quotes

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• A lot of people wouldn’t feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren’t dating my girlfriend. – Dov Davidoff • About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them. – Judy Carter • After a number of years dating, we decided we were good partners. – Melinda Gates • Are you kidding? I’m a terrible cook, but John is a really great one. Literally, I never cook. The whole time we were dating, I prepared two officially romantic meals. Both of them were such disasters that he begs me never to go into the kitchen again. – Rebecca Romijn • At the time that I knew them, they were not living together. They began dating again after their divorce, so I didn’t really see fighting. – Kato Kaelin

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Dating', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town. – Tom Clancy • Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating. – Greg Behrendt • Celebrities say they date other celebrities because they have the same job. But I think they just like dating famous people. Celebrities attract each other, like cattle. – Jason Lee • Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer. – Rita Mae Brown • Dating a new man is like holding a strawberry milkshake; first the taste, then the pleasure. – Marilyn Monroe • Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as “Taking,” you are not getting it. – Henry Cloud • Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people. – Henry Cloud • Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen. – Henry Cloud • Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It’s just that constant strangeness. I think it’s a very real thing. – Jason Schwartzman • Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier. – Caprice Crane • Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? – Jerry Seinfeld • Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is. – Henry Cloud • Dating is probably the most important aspect of a single person’s life. – Linda Sunshine • Dating is really all about sex. In the conventional context, this means that the man invites the woman to go through a social encounter, the ultimate purpose of which is sexual engagement. – Alexander McCall Smith • Dating now is a lot like going shopping when you don’t have any money. Even if you find the right thing, you can’t do anything about it. – Joshua Harris • Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date. – Henry Cloud • Dodi got a lot of criticism when he began dating Princess Diana. No one seemed to think he was good enough for her. – Lorna Luft • Encourage your children to come to you for counsel with their problems and questions by listening to them every day. Discuss with them such important matters as dating, sex, and other matters affecting their growth and development, and do it early enough so they will not obtain information from questionable sources. – Ezra Taft Benson • Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she’s dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, ‘Which one, Hades?’ – Gina Barreca • Everyone was like, “Why do you need to meet someone on Match.com?” My response was, “I certainly don’t need to meet more of the same broke, acting class guys that I’d been dating my whole life.” I needed to change that whole paradigm. So, I decided to meet some corporate guys and see how that worked. So, I went on Match, but I didn’t put a picture up, because I’m on television, and I didn’t want anybody contacting me for the wrong reasons. So, I had to do the hunting, as it were. I didn’t anticipate meeting my husband online, but there he was. And it all worked out! – Essence Atkins • Gay men should not adopt the sophomoric model of heterosexual dating; gay men should always have sex first. – John Rechy • Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury. – Martha Beck • Here’s the funny thing about the response I’ve been aware of to my dating famous people: It’s been very negative. I’m either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people. – Dax Shepard • Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. – Mike Binder • How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? – Judy Tenuta • I also find it interesting that a lot of people in their 30s are not married and don’t have kids. There are a lot of people in this age bracket that are out there dating and trying to find love. And I never thought that at my age I would be. – John Stamos • I came to the realization that I started dating my now-wife junior year of college, before you actually went on a date. You didn’t take girls from college out to dinner. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been on a date where I didn’t know the end game. I’ve never casually dated someone. I’ve only been out to dinner with the woman who would eventually be my wife. – Jon Gabrus • I can’t imagine dating a boy, meeting him only outside the home. What’s a home and family for if it’s not the center of one’s life? – Loretta Young • I can’t wait for my little sisters to start dating, because it will really be fun to pick on their boyfriends. – David Gallagher • I could be a party girl, dating whoever I want and being reckless, but I like being in a relationship. When you have somebody who grounds you and keeps you sane, it helps. – Eva Longoria • I do like dating cynics – they tend to be incredibly funny. – Chris Pine • I don’t have the best dating track record. – Lauren Conrad • I don’t know the first real thing about the dating game. I don’t know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general. – Jason Schwartzman • I don’t really comment on my personal life because I feel like any comment at all is opening up a whole can of worms. I’d just rather not talk about who I’m dating. – Josh Hartnett • I don’t think courting and dating is a liability. I actually think it can be a blessing. – Rebecca St. James • I don’t understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I’m interested in someone, and I don’t want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I’m not interested in that person. – Britney Spears • I feel like I’ve always had gay fans, I don’t think my dating a woman has changed my demographic, but it certainly changed the way I feel about politics. – Sia Furler • I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine. – Judith Krantz • I grew up between the two world wars and received a rather solid general education, the kind middle class children enjoyed in a country whose educational system had its roots dating back to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. – George Andrew Olah • I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad’s sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on. – George Clooney • I have been dating someone that treats my heart like it’s monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it’s like to be treated well before it’s too late for me. – Hannah • I just can’t fathom tweeting, and I’d rather spend my time writing a book than a blog, but I rather grudgingly agreed to a Facebook page. I had a brief, intense romance with Facebook. It’s weirdly addictive, but anything that time-sucking is a danger for a writer who writes as slowly as I do. Now I post only occasionally and nothing very confessional. I think I’m carbon dating myself as I speak. – Debra Dean • I just don’t like when there’s a rumor that says I’m dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, ‘Thank you for the big ups!’ – Marilyn Manson • I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly – Darynda Jones • I like the idea of dating, but I’m not dating anyone exclusively, particularly right now. It’s hard to be in a relationship unless you’re ready to go public with it. So it’s a lot easier for me to not be in a relationship. I really don’t want that part of my life to be tabloid fodder. – Cory Monteith • I love being a single mom. But it’s definitely different when you’re dating. – Brooke Burns • I prefer ordinary girls – you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn’t mean we are dating. – Leonardo DiCaprio • I started dating older men, and I would fall in love with them. I thought they could teach me about life. – Daphne Zuniga • I stopped dating for six months a year ago. Dating requires a lot of energy and focus. – Daphne Zuniga • I think a man’s dream woman changes as he goes through different stages in his life. I’m fortunate to be dating my dream woman now. – Wissam Al Mana • I think I should date a normal girl. I am tired of dating heroines. While I believe in marriage as an institution, I am also petrified of it. – Shahid Kapoor • I think I’m definitely more open. You know the thing is I wouldn’t have said I was closed before, but like, it’s the kind of thing that you don’t even think of other options. I’ve been dating black men for really, for like, I don’t know, 10 years. You know, I haven’t really dated outside of that. Now I think I’m probably am more open to the idea. – Sanaa Lathan • I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It’s needing people who understand your work schedule. – Jennifer Love Hewitt • I tried to tell them about the dating process because I’m single now and how horrible it is and how many foolish experiences I had had dating. So I was really selling him hard, but the whole time he really wanted me! – Andie MacDowell • I want my audience to know me for my work, not because of who I’m dating or what drugs I’m on or what club I went to. – Shia LaBeouf • I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. – LisaRaye McCoy-Misick • I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I’m embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it. – Torrie Wilson • I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word ‘YOU’ and I just put the letter ‘U’. – Kelly Osbourne • I was thrown into the fashion world, dating models – and you’d read about me dating a new starlet every month. That’s just where my life was. But I’ve grown up a lot. – Stephen Dorff • If you want me to be straight, gay, into monkeys, dating Kylie, whatever, I’m happy for people to project whatever onto me! – Darren Hayes • I’m a bad dater – I’m just not good at it. It’s so weird dating in this town. It’s like high school. I get a lot of people who have their publicist call my agent to ask, ‘Is she dating anyone? – Jules Asner • I’m dating a girl who’s pretty levelheaded. She’s a nurse. She’s a real, normal girl. Which is what I need because my life isn’t normal. – Kenny Chesney • I’m dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. – Garry Shandling • I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. – Garry Shandling • I’m friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn’t just get into it. I don’t think you can be friends until you’re cool with them dating someone else. That’s when you know. – Rashida Jones • I’m much more interested in what an actor has to say about something substantial and important than who they’re dating or what clothes they’re wearing or some other asinine, insignificant aspect of their life. – Ben Affleck • I’m not cynical about marriage or romance. I enjoyed being married. And although being single was fun for a while, there was always the risk of dating someone who’d owned a lunch box with my picture on it. – Shaun Cassidy • I’m not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax. – Lena Dunham • I’m not interested in serial dating; I’d honestly rather be single. – Tamsin Egerton • I’m not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy. – Vanessa Hudgens • I’m not with anybody, I don’t have time for dating. Not to get too personal, but it’s weirdly harder to meet new people now. But for the first time in my life since I was a little kid, I’m not so concerned about it. – Justin Vernon • I’m of the belief that dating “potential” is almost always an exercise in frustration. – Mallory Ortberg • I’m so an all-or-nothing person in dating, always. I’m big on not wasting time. And so, yeah, if something’s not working, it’s time to not hold people back. – Ginnifer Goodwin • In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part). – Joy Browne • Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic? – Dov Davidoff • Is it a bad sign when you see the person you’re dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you’re rear view mirror? – Dov Davidoff • It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. – Rosario Dawson • It was really shocking to me that when I was dating a dude I could get married and my taxes were 8 grand less, blah blah blah. – Sia Furler • It was V-day and I was stuck at home while the guy I was dating was at an Anti-Valentine’s Day party. How wrong was that? It was one thing to be totally alone on V-day, but another to want to be with someone who would rather spend the evening protesting love instead of making it. – Kate Madison • It’s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married, there is something that is not very dignified about talking about who you are dating. – Luke Wilson • It’s amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a gray slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there’s no point in writing down phone numbers and forking out for expensive lunches because it’s never going to be a runner. – Helen Fielding • It’s so easy to misuse social media as a dating tool. I think it can be useful but it’s scary when you think about who can access this information and what they’re doing with it. – Justin Long • I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he? – Kristin Davis • I’ve been dating younger men since my 20s, When I was 29, I dated someone 21… younger men are just more fun. I like their energy. I’ve always been kind of young for my age. – Dana Delany • I’ve been in plenty of situations where someone I’m dating had more time for a console than me. – Josie Maran • I’ve done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what’s interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event, you know, thinking about what it is we’re looking for in a mate and so you ask people, like women will say “I’m looking for somebody who is really kind and sincere and smart and funny.” – Sheena Iyengar • I’ve had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I’m dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn’t know, though. – Julie Bowen • I’ve learned that I don’t want to be as open or public about relationships anymore. In my first relationship, I thought I could hold on to the normalcy of just being like “Yeah, we’re dating,” just like if it were high school and I was telling my friends. But in high school, there aren’t articles written everywhere when you break up and you don’t have everyone in the school coming up to you and asking what happened or sharing their opinion with you. It didn’t feel like ours anymore, it felt like everybody else’s. – Camila Cabello • Just because times change and alot of people think that dating multiple people is the thing these days, it just isn’t a solid foundation at all in matters of the heart. I still believe in marriages that have a physically powerful foundation. – Angela Merkel • Like the guy I was dating. White, liberal, educated. I went to meet his family and I think that they probably didn’t know they had a problem with it until he walked in with me. And they definitely had issues. Mom had issues with it. Could not, didn’t want to see her son. And I don’t think she had anything against me. But it was about her son bringing me home. And I felt that for the first time. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s deep.’ It’s really simple: I don’t fit their picture. – Sanaa Lathan • My husband is the only guy I’ve ever dated where I’ve never been drunk around him. I couldn’t handle dating without drinking in the past. – Alison Rosen • My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys-Mr Duracell and Mr Energizer. – Michelle Landry • My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. ‘Sex and the City’ changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people. – Lindsay Lohan • My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers! – Meg Cabot • My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy • My wife and I have been together since 1986. I graduated in ’86 and she graduated in ’88. We began dating when she was 17. Actually she turned 18 when we started kissing and stuff. – Cuba Gooding, Jr. • No one knew me until I met my wife Lulu. Lulu’s mother used to ask, Which one is Maurice? For six months she thought Lulu was dating Barry. – Maurice Gibb • Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. – Scott Adams • Of course, a lot of courtship and dating is about sexual attraction. If you’re an attractive person, you have that sort of interest from people, whether you cater to it or not, but when you get older, that’s not really the leading thing anymore. – Patricia Arquette • Oh, my dating skills are the worst. No, I pick the wrong men; it’s amazing. I am awful, the worst dater. – Paget Brewster • On girls night in we talk about dating; the ups and downs of the previous week. Our collective laughter is uncontrollable and tearful, even the most disappointing dates become meritorious on girls night in. – Cilla Black • On the Hugh Grant romance rumours: We’re not dating and I’m not pregnant. We have not kissed or touched. We have not fought and broken up. – Sandra Bullock • One of my best friends is dating my other best friend, Lena! – Taylor Swift • Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. – Conan O’Brien • Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That’s who I’m dating. – Ben Affleck • So if I was dating somebody now and the relationship didn’t work out, I’d take that as failing – Gavin DeGraw • Some burns,” Clary said. “Nothing that matters” “Everything that happens to you matters to me.” “Well that certainly explains why you haven’t called me back once. And the last time I saw you, you ran away without telling me why. It’s like dating a ghost.” Jace’s mouth quirked up slightly at the side. “Not exactly. Isabelle actually dated a ghost. She could tell you–” “No,” Clary said. “It was a metaphor. And you know exactly what I mean. – Cassandra Clare • Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say “good morning” in public without being liquored up. – Amelia Gray • That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. – Michelle Obama • The global economy is becoming a place where women are more successful than men, and these economic changes are starting to rapidly affect our culture – what our romantic comedies look like, what our marriages look like, what our dating lives look like, and our new set of superheroes. – Hanna Rosin • The Google algorithm was a significant development. I’ve had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website. – Tim Berners-Lee • The inspiration for this movie [Something New] was this Newsweek article that came out a couple of years ago that talks about 42.4 percent of black women in America aren’t married. Black women are shooting up the corporate ladder way faster than our black male counterparts. And (black men) are either dating outside their race, in jail or dying. And so if you want to have a family, you want to be married, you have to look at other options. – Sanaa Lathan • The learned are not agreed as to the time when the Gospel of John was written; some dating it as early as the year 68, others as late as the year 98; but it is generally conceded to have been written after all the others. – Simon Greenleaf • The love is so powerful that both people have to surrender. I think that’s the funny thing about dating somebody for the first time, it’s kind of a question of who wears the pants, or who’s gonna text you first, how much am I supposed to put myself out there, and it makes you feel a little bit crazy. But at the end of the day, it’s not about that. And if it’s the right person you don’t have to worry about that. – Zella Day • The most difficult part of dating is the initial invitation. – Janell Carroll • The number of people who have either gotten married or had kids or started dating or just made great friends over Instagram is countless. I think we’re the only platform that continues to be successful in bringing people together in real life for these real relationships. – Kevin Systrom • The United States is now relearning an ancient lesson, dating back to the Roman Empire. Brutalizing an enemy only serves to brutalize the army ordered to do it. Torture corrodes the mind of the torturer. – James Risen • The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. – Bill Maher • The woman I am currently crazy about was a vegetarian for a year until I started dating her. As is the case with most vegetarians, she had never eaten properly prepared meat, only commercially packaged or otherwise abused flesh. – Steve Albini • There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. – Judith Martin • There is no golden rule of dating, except to make sure that it engages both of you; too many people go to a cinema for a first date and of course don’t say a word, that’s a bad thing! – Steven Hill • There’s an interesting story around that [“Heaven Without a Gun”], because the girl I was dating at the time got into a bike accident and couldn’t make it into the studio, and the gentleman Dave Hamlin who worked on this record along with Ohad sort of took it, rearranged it. Dave went and sonically changed it and changed the keys so that Andy could sing it better. All these pieces came together that suddenly displayed that the song was meant for Andy [Kim] to sing. And he always said, “I’ll never understand it, but I’ll sing it with all my heart.” – Kevin Drew • There’s no way to get around it; online dating is work. And some people are more skilled at this kind of communication than others. – Rachel Martin • We had two rules growing up in my house: If you’re going to take a shower, do it with whomever you’re dating so you don’t waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody’s going to want one. – Moon Unit Zappa • Well, dating has become a sport and not about finding the person you love. – Rashida Jones • Whats nice about my dating life is that I dont have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: Im marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day. – Julia Roberts • When I had been dating my husband for a while, the president Obama said to me, “When is he going to put a ring on it?” And I was like, “Oh, come on. We are so busy. We don’t need to think about that.” He said, “He needs to put a ring on it because you’re worth it.” And the thing is, I’m not even kidding you, it was about a week or two later that we got engaged. – Alyssa Mastromonaco • When I met Nathan, I told my tour manager he was too good-looking for me. I don’t have a history of dating good-looking men. I’ve always complained that girls don’t get male groupies, and now I’ve married the first groupie I’ve ever had. – Nina Persson • When I saw music as a means to an end – more fame, more money, dating celebrities – that’s when things have gone terribly wrong. Now my life is focused on just trying to keep making music. Because when it’s really good, it’s just the most remarkable feeling on the planet. – Moby • When someone is good, but it doesn’t seem like their world will collapse if they don’t get the part, it’s more appealing. It’s like dating someone: You don’t want someone who’s too into you. – Steve Carell • While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all. – E. A. Bucchianeri • With my husband it was never like “omg, should I text him?” or “he didn’t call me for two days.” So, I think I knew it was right because it just happened so naturally. That’s one piece of advice that I would give to women who are struggling in this crazy world of dating. – Lindsay Ellingson • Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. – Douglas Coupland • Would a dating service for people on the net be “frowned upon” by DCA? I hope not. But even if it is, don’t let that stop you from notifying me via net mail if you start one. – Richard Stallman • You know, I had my mother and my father convincing me that he would be going back to Hollywood and he’d be back with the actresses and dating them and that he wasn’t serious about me at all. So I had him saying one thing to me and my parents telling me something else. – Priscilla Presley • You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married. – Michelle Obama • You’re talking to someone who has been married to various people for the last 40 years of her life. Dating is not really something familiar. I’ve never really been a dater. – Stockard Channing

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Dating Quotes

Official Website: Dating Quotes

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• A lot of people wouldn’t feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren’t dating my girlfriend. – Dov Davidoff • About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them. – Judy Carter • After a number of years dating, we decided we were good partners. – Melinda Gates • Are you kidding? I’m a terrible cook, but John is a really great one. Literally, I never cook. The whole time we were dating, I prepared two officially romantic meals. Both of them were such disasters that he begs me never to go into the kitchen again. – Rebecca Romijn • At the time that I knew them, they were not living together. They began dating again after their divorce, so I didn’t really see fighting. – Kato Kaelin

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Dating', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_dating img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town. – Tom Clancy • Busy’ is another word for ‘asshole’. ‘Asshole’ is another word for the guy you’re dating. – Greg Behrendt • Celebrities say they date other celebrities because they have the same job. But I think they just like dating famous people. Celebrities attract each other, like cattle. – Jason Lee • Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer. – Rita Mae Brown • Dating a new man is like holding a strawberry milkshake; first the taste, then the pleasure. – Marilyn Monroe • Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as “Taking,” you are not getting it. – Henry Cloud • Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people. – Henry Cloud • Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen. – Henry Cloud • Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It’s just that constant strangeness. I think it’s a very real thing. – Jason Schwartzman • Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier. – Caprice Crane • Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? – Jerry Seinfeld • Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is. – Henry Cloud • Dating is probably the most important aspect of a single person’s life. – Linda Sunshine • Dating is really all about sex. In the conventional context, this means that the man invites the woman to go through a social encounter, the ultimate purpose of which is sexual engagement. – Alexander McCall Smith • Dating now is a lot like going shopping when you don’t have any money. Even if you find the right thing, you can’t do anything about it. – Joshua Harris • Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date. – Henry Cloud • Dodi got a lot of criticism when he began dating Princess Diana. No one seemed to think he was good enough for her. – Lorna Luft • Encourage your children to come to you for counsel with their problems and questions by listening to them every day. Discuss with them such important matters as dating, sex, and other matters affecting their growth and development, and do it early enough so they will not obtain information from questionable sources. – Ezra Taft Benson • Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she’s dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, ‘Which one, Hades?’ – Gina Barreca • Everyone was like, “Why do you need to meet someone on Match.com?” My response was, “I certainly don’t need to meet more of the same broke, acting class guys that I’d been dating my whole life.” I needed to change that whole paradigm. So, I decided to meet some corporate guys and see how that worked. So, I went on Match, but I didn’t put a picture up, because I’m on television, and I didn’t want anybody contacting me for the wrong reasons. So, I had to do the hunting, as it were. I didn’t anticipate meeting my husband online, but there he was. And it all worked out! – Essence Atkins • Gay men should not adopt the sophomoric model of heterosexual dating; gay men should always have sex first. – John Rechy • Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury. – Martha Beck • Here’s the funny thing about the response I’ve been aware of to my dating famous people: It’s been very negative. I’m either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people. – Dax Shepard • Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. – Mike Binder • How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? – Judy Tenuta • I also find it interesting that a lot of people in their 30s are not married and don’t have kids. There are a lot of people in this age bracket that are out there dating and trying to find love. And I never thought that at my age I would be. – John Stamos • I came to the realization that I started dating my now-wife junior year of college, before you actually went on a date. You didn’t take girls from college out to dinner. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never been on a date where I didn’t know the end game. I’ve never casually dated someone. I’ve only been out to dinner with the woman who would eventually be my wife. – Jon Gabrus • I can’t imagine dating a boy, meeting him only outside the home. What’s a home and family for if it’s not the center of one’s life? – Loretta Young • I can’t wait for my little sisters to start dating, because it will really be fun to pick on their boyfriends. – David Gallagher • I could be a party girl, dating whoever I want and being reckless, but I like being in a relationship. When you have somebody who grounds you and keeps you sane, it helps. – Eva Longoria • I do like dating cynics – they tend to be incredibly funny. – Chris Pine • I don’t have the best dating track record. – Lauren Conrad • I don’t know the first real thing about the dating game. I don’t know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general. – Jason Schwartzman • I don’t really comment on my personal life because I feel like any comment at all is opening up a whole can of worms. I’d just rather not talk about who I’m dating. – Josh Hartnett • I don’t think courting and dating is a liability. I actually think it can be a blessing. – Rebecca St. James • I don’t understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I’m interested in someone, and I don’t want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I’m not interested in that person. – Britney Spears • I feel like I’ve always had gay fans, I don’t think my dating a woman has changed my demographic, but it certainly changed the way I feel about politics. – Sia Furler • I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine. – Judith Krantz • I grew up between the two world wars and received a rather solid general education, the kind middle class children enjoyed in a country whose educational system had its roots dating back to the Austro-Hungarian Monarchy. – George Andrew Olah • I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad’s sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on. – George Clooney • I have been dating someone that treats my heart like it’s monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it’s like to be treated well before it’s too late for me. – Hannah • I just can’t fathom tweeting, and I’d rather spend my time writing a book than a blog, but I rather grudgingly agreed to a Facebook page. I had a brief, intense romance with Facebook. It’s weirdly addictive, but anything that time-sucking is a danger for a writer who writes as slowly as I do. Now I post only occasionally and nothing very confessional. I think I’m carbon dating myself as I speak. – Debra Dean • I just don’t like when there’s a rumor that says I’m dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, ‘Thank you for the big ups!’ – Marilyn Manson • I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly – Darynda Jones • I like the idea of dating, but I’m not dating anyone exclusively, particularly right now. It’s hard to be in a relationship unless you’re ready to go public with it. So it’s a lot easier for me to not be in a relationship. I really don’t want that part of my life to be tabloid fodder. – Cory Monteith • I love being a single mom. But it’s definitely different when you’re dating. – Brooke Burns • I prefer ordinary girls – you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn’t mean we are dating. – Leonardo DiCaprio • I started dating older men, and I would fall in love with them. I thought they could teach me about life. – Daphne Zuniga • I stopped dating for six months a year ago. Dating requires a lot of energy and focus. – Daphne Zuniga • I think a man’s dream woman changes as he goes through different stages in his life. I’m fortunate to be dating my dream woman now. – Wissam Al Mana • I think I should date a normal girl. I am tired of dating heroines. While I believe in marriage as an institution, I am also petrified of it. – Shahid Kapoor • I think I’m definitely more open. You know the thing is I wouldn’t have said I was closed before, but like, it’s the kind of thing that you don’t even think of other options. I’ve been dating black men for really, for like, I don’t know, 10 years. You know, I haven’t really dated outside of that. Now I think I’m probably am more open to the idea. – Sanaa Lathan • I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It’s needing people who understand your work schedule. – Jennifer Love Hewitt • I tried to tell them about the dating process because I’m single now and how horrible it is and how many foolish experiences I had had dating. So I was really selling him hard, but the whole time he really wanted me! – Andie MacDowell • I want my audience to know me for my work, not because of who I’m dating or what drugs I’m on or what club I went to. – Shia LaBeouf • I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. – LisaRaye McCoy-Misick • I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I’m embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it. – Torrie Wilson • I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word ‘YOU’ and I just put the letter ‘U’. – Kelly Osbourne • I was thrown into the fashion world, dating models – and you’d read about me dating a new starlet every month. That’s just where my life was. But I’ve grown up a lot. – Stephen Dorff • If you want me to be straight, gay, into monkeys, dating Kylie, whatever, I’m happy for people to project whatever onto me! – Darren Hayes • I’m a bad dater – I’m just not good at it. It’s so weird dating in this town. It’s like high school. I get a lot of people who have their publicist call my agent to ask, ‘Is she dating anyone? – Jules Asner • I’m dating a girl who’s pretty levelheaded. She’s a nurse. She’s a real, normal girl. Which is what I need because my life isn’t normal. – Kenny Chesney • I’m dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over. – Garry Shandling • I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it. – Garry Shandling • I’m friends with a lot of my exes, but it took time. We didn’t just get into it. I don’t think you can be friends until you’re cool with them dating someone else. That’s when you know. – Rashida Jones • I’m much more interested in what an actor has to say about something substantial and important than who they’re dating or what clothes they’re wearing or some other asinine, insignificant aspect of their life. – Ben Affleck • I’m not cynical about marriage or romance. I enjoyed being married. And although being single was fun for a while, there was always the risk of dating someone who’d owned a lunch box with my picture on it. – Shaun Cassidy • I’m not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax. – Lena Dunham • I’m not interested in serial dating; I’d honestly rather be single. – Tamsin Egerton • I’m not very experienced with boys or the whole dating thingy. – Vanessa Hudgens • I’m not with anybody, I don’t have time for dating. Not to get too personal, but it’s weirdly harder to meet new people now. But for the first time in my life since I was a little kid, I’m not so concerned about it. – Justin Vernon • I’m of the belief that dating “potential” is almost always an exercise in frustration. – Mallory Ortberg • I’m so an all-or-nothing person in dating, always. I’m big on not wasting time. And so, yeah, if something’s not working, it’s time to not hold people back. – Ginnifer Goodwin • In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part). – Joy Browne • Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic? – Dov Davidoff • Is it a bad sign when you see the person you’re dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you’re rear view mirror? – Dov Davidoff • It was funny actually because that was still during the time we were dating. He would get all these calls because supposedly before we broke up, we had already broken up in the trades, in the rags or whatever. – Rosario Dawson • It was really shocking to me that when I was dating a dude I could get married and my taxes were 8 grand less, blah blah blah. – Sia Furler • It was V-day and I was stuck at home while the guy I was dating was at an Anti-Valentine’s Day party. How wrong was that? It was one thing to be totally alone on V-day, but another to want to be with someone who would rather spend the evening protesting love instead of making it. – Kate Madison • It’s always been my personal feeling that unless you are married, there is something that is not very dignified about talking about who you are dating. – Luke Wilson • It’s amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a gray slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there’s no point in writing down phone numbers and forking out for expensive lunches because it’s never going to be a runner. – Helen Fielding • It’s so easy to misuse social media as a dating tool. I think it can be useful but it’s scary when you think about who can access this information and what they’re doing with it. – Justin Long • I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he? – Kristin Davis • I’ve been dating younger men since my 20s, When I was 29, I dated someone 21… younger men are just more fun. I like their energy. I’ve always been kind of young for my age. – Dana Delany • I’ve been in plenty of situations where someone I’m dating had more time for a console than me. – Josie Maran • I’ve done a number of studies with speed dating and Match.com and what’s interesting is that you know we still walk into a speed dating event, you know, thinking about what it is we’re looking for in a mate and so you ask people, like women will say “I’m looking for somebody who is really kind and sincere and smart and funny.” – Sheena Iyengar • I’ve had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I’m dating Bill Clinton, which makes me nervous. I didn’t know, though. – Julie Bowen • I’ve learned that I don’t want to be as open or public about relationships anymore. In my first relationship, I thought I could hold on to the normalcy of just being like “Yeah, we’re dating,” just like if it were high school and I was telling my friends. But in high school, there aren’t articles written everywhere when you break up and you don’t have everyone in the school coming up to you and asking what happened or sharing their opinion with you. It didn’t feel like ours anymore, it felt like everybody else’s. – Camila Cabello • Just because times change and alot of people think that dating multiple people is the thing these days, it just isn’t a solid foundation at all in matters of the heart. I still believe in marriages that have a physically powerful foundation. – Angela Merkel • Like the guy I was dating. White, liberal, educated. I went to meet his family and I think that they probably didn’t know they had a problem with it until he walked in with me. And they definitely had issues. Mom had issues with it. Could not, didn’t want to see her son. And I don’t think she had anything against me. But it was about her son bringing me home. And I felt that for the first time. I was like, ‘Wow, that’s deep.’ It’s really simple: I don’t fit their picture. – Sanaa Lathan • My husband is the only guy I’ve ever dated where I’ve never been drunk around him. I couldn’t handle dating without drinking in the past. – Alison Rosen • My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I’m going to tell her I’m dating two different guys-Mr Duracell and Mr Energizer. – Michelle Landry • My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. ‘Sex and the City’ changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people. – Lindsay Lohan • My original inspiration was my mom: a few years after the death of my dad, she started dating one my teachers! – Meg Cabot • My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy • My wife and I have been together since 1986. I graduated in ’86 and she graduated in ’88. We began dating when she was 17. Actually she turned 18 when we started kissing and stuff. – Cuba Gooding, Jr. • No one knew me until I met my wife Lulu. Lulu’s mother used to ask, Which one is Maurice? For six months she thought Lulu was dating Barry. – Maurice Gibb • Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. – Scott Adams • Of course, a lot of courtship and dating is about sexual attraction. If you’re an attractive person, you have that sort of interest from people, whether you cater to it or not, but when you get older, that’s not really the leading thing anymore. – Patricia Arquette • Oh, my dating skills are the worst. No, I pick the wrong men; it’s amazing. I am awful, the worst dater. – Paget Brewster • On girls night in we talk about dating; the ups and downs of the previous week. Our collective laughter is uncontrollable and tearful, even the most disappointing dates become meritorious on girls night in. – Cilla Black • On the Hugh Grant romance rumours: We’re not dating and I’m not pregnant. We have not kissed or touched. We have not fought and broken up. – Sandra Bullock • One of my best friends is dating my other best friend, Lena! – Taylor Swift • Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. – Conan O’Brien • Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That’s who I’m dating. – Ben Affleck • So if I was dating somebody now and the relationship didn’t work out, I’d take that as failing – Gavin DeGraw • Some burns,” Clary said. “Nothing that matters” “Everything that happens to you matters to me.” “Well that certainly explains why you haven’t called me back once. And the last time I saw you, you ran away without telling me why. It’s like dating a ghost.” Jace’s mouth quirked up slightly at the side. “Not exactly. Isabelle actually dated a ghost. She could tell you–” “No,” Clary said. “It was a metaphor. And you know exactly what I mean. – Cassandra Clare • Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say “good morning” in public without being liquored up. – Amelia Gray • That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. – Michelle Obama • The global economy is becoming a place where women are more successful than men, and these economic changes are starting to rapidly affect our culture – what our romantic comedies look like, what our marriages look like, what our dating lives look like, and our new set of superheroes. – Hanna Rosin • The Google algorithm was a significant development. I’ve had thank-you emails from people whose lives have been saved by information on a medical website or who have found the love of their life on a dating website. – Tim Berners-Lee • The inspiration for this movie [Something New] was this Newsweek article that came out a couple of years ago that talks about 42.4 percent of black women in America aren’t married. Black women are shooting up the corporate ladder way faster than our black male counterparts. And (black men) are either dating outside their race, in jail or dying. And so if you want to have a family, you want to be married, you have to look at other options. – Sanaa Lathan • The learned are not agreed as to the time when the Gospel of John was written; some dating it as early as the year 68, others as late as the year 98; but it is generally conceded to have been written after all the others. – Simon Greenleaf • The love is so powerful that both people have to surrender. I think that’s the funny thing about dating somebody for the first time, it’s kind of a question of who wears the pants, or who’s gonna text you first, how much am I supposed to put myself out there, and it makes you feel a little bit crazy. But at the end of the day, it’s not about that. And if it’s the right person you don’t have to worry about that. – Zella Day • The most difficult part of dating is the initial invitation. – Janell Carroll • The number of people who have either gotten married or had kids or started dating or just made great friends over Instagram is countless. I think we’re the only platform that continues to be successful in bringing people together in real life for these real relationships. – Kevin Systrom • The United States is now relearning an ancient lesson, dating back to the Roman Empire. Brutalizing an enemy only serves to brutalize the army ordered to do it. Torture corrodes the mind of the torturer. – James Risen • The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed. – Bill Maher • The woman I am currently crazy about was a vegetarian for a year until I started dating her. As is the case with most vegetarians, she had never eaten properly prepared meat, only commercially packaged or otherwise abused flesh. – Steve Albini • There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. – Judith Martin • There is no golden rule of dating, except to make sure that it engages both of you; too many people go to a cinema for a first date and of course don’t say a word, that’s a bad thing! – Steven Hill • There’s an interesting story around that [“Heaven Without a Gun”], because the girl I was dating at the time got into a bike accident and couldn’t make it into the studio, and the gentleman Dave Hamlin who worked on this record along with Ohad sort of took it, rearranged it. Dave went and sonically changed it and changed the keys so that Andy could sing it better. All these pieces came together that suddenly displayed that the song was meant for Andy [Kim] to sing. And he always said, “I’ll never understand it, but I’ll sing it with all my heart.” – Kevin Drew • There’s no way to get around it; online dating is work. And some people are more skilled at this kind of communication than others. – Rachel Martin • We had two rules growing up in my house: If you’re going to take a shower, do it with whomever you’re dating so you don’t waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody’s going to want one. – Moon Unit Zappa • Well, dating has become a sport and not about finding the person you love. – Rashida Jones • Whats nice about my dating life is that I dont have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: Im marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day. – Julia Roberts • When I had been dating my husband for a while, the president Obama said to me, “When is he going to put a ring on it?” And I was like, “Oh, come on. We are so busy. We don’t need to think about that.” He said, “He needs to put a ring on it because you’re worth it.” And the thing is, I’m not even kidding you, it was about a week or two later that we got engaged. – Alyssa Mastromonaco • When I met Nathan, I told my tour manager he was too good-looking for me. I don’t have a history of dating good-looking men. I’ve always complained that girls don’t get male groupies, and now I’ve married the first groupie I’ve ever had. – Nina Persson • When I saw music as a means to an end – more fame, more money, dating celebrities – that’s when things have gone terribly wrong. Now my life is focused on just trying to keep making music. Because when it’s really good, it’s just the most remarkable feeling on the planet. – Moby • When someone is good, but it doesn’t seem like their world will collapse if they don’t get the part, it’s more appealing. It’s like dating someone: You don’t want someone who’s too into you. – Steve Carell • While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all. – E. A. Bucchianeri • With my husband it was never like “omg, should I text him?” or “he didn’t call me for two days.” So, I think I knew it was right because it just happened so naturally. That’s one piece of advice that I would give to women who are struggling in this crazy world of dating. – Lindsay Ellingson • Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. – Douglas Coupland • Would a dating service for people on the net be “frowned upon” by DCA? I hope not. But even if it is, don’t let that stop you from notifying me via net mail if you start one. – Richard Stallman • You know, I had my mother and my father convincing me that he would be going back to Hollywood and he’d be back with the actresses and dating them and that he wasn’t serious about me at all. So I had him saying one thing to me and my parents telling me something else. – Priscilla Presley • You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married. – Michelle Obama • You’re talking to someone who has been married to various people for the last 40 years of her life. Dating is not really something familiar. I’ve never really been a dater. – Stockard Channing

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

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[sewgeekmama]

This year was a big year for me in blogging. It marks the first year since I started the blog that I actually called myself a blogger. In fact, there were a lot of firsts this year! It’s the first time I actually made money blogging, first time I applied myself and treated it like a job, first time I experienced a bit of controversy and first time a big company took notice and responded to a blog post.

Looking back over 2018, there are a few experiences that stand out, so here’s my Top 8 for 2018:

1.  My First Sponsored Post – This year marks the first time I was paid to write a post. In January I got paid a small amount to write a sponsored post for Cars.com and I was totally excited about it. Now at the end of the year, my minimum to write a dedicated post for a company or product has increased by about 10 times that original amount. It takes a little while to figure out what your time is worth and to build up enough traffic to make it worth the time for the company to hire you. It’s OK to start small. It gave me good practice before the bigger opportunities came knocking.

2. A Big Company Took Notice – I got so frustrated with a pair of leggings that I wrote a post about it, calling out Lululemon for making me feel fat after fighting with a flopping waistband. So what did Lululemon do? THEY CALLED ME ON THE PHONE. Yeah. Called me. They had my phone number because they had all my information in their system after my leggings purchase. And then they said they never want any of their apparel to make someone feel like that and invited me into the store for a fitting to find the perfect fit.

Perfect fit

All the leggings!

One very happy customer at Lululemon Jacksonville

I was blown away. First that someone was out there paying attention to what I’m banging out on the keyboard. This experience alone has made me pause before publishing certain pieces. And second that they responded in such a positive manner. I am a big Lululemon fan now. I was so impressed. They taught me all about their different leggings and the different things they do. The fabrics, the cuts, the styles. I learned if you are going to a specialty store and plan on paying a lot for something, you better ask some questions because they are there to help. They set me up with an amazing pair of legging that I love! No flopping down and they make everything look good, as they should.

3. My First Free Product – I didn’t know about the popularity of reviews on mom blogs until I stumbled into it. So when a shoe cleaner called Sneaker Magic contacted me about doing a review, I was all into it and we did our first YouTube product review. After that the offers started rolling in for everything from toothbrushes to toys. I actually get so many offers a day now that it led me to my #4 big thing – I had to make a media kit.

4. The Media Kit – When I first started the blog, I didn’t think about a media kit. It took me a while before finally sitting down and recording all my stats, traffic and figuring out what everything was worth doing. At first I was just taking every offer that came my way and suddenly I found myself bogged down with a pile of free products that I needed to review, and it was going to take up a lot of my very rare and precious free time, but I wasn’t being paid for any of it.

So when I realized I was paying someone to babysit my son so I could write a free review in exchange for a product that might cost me $20…well I realized it was time to start charging for my writing time. And that’s when I made the media kit and things rapidly turned around. Now when companies contact me I have a professional presentation that breaks down my stats and my fees for each type of post. It’s a lot less time spent on negotiating and the time I took to do it has paid for itself over and over.

5. My First Brand Ambassadorship – I’ve managed to avoid all those swimwear/sunglasses/whatever partnerships on Instagram where they want you to buy their stuff at a discount and then promote it. Then after doing a sampling party for MomsMeet.com and Miss Jones Baking Co., I got contacted to be a brand ambassador for Miss Jones. The deal was that they send me a few products for free every month and I agree to post at least once about them. I really enjoyed getting into baking and post more often than that! I love getting that box of baking goodies and then getting in the kitchen with my son to make organic deliciousness.

6. A Little Controversy – I got to go on a tour of a local paper mill to write a sponsored blog post about them and all the good things they were doing for the community. The only thing I knew about paper mills before the tour was that they stank. So when we did the tour and there was no smell, and they mentioned how they made a great effort to fix that particular problem, I was impressed and mentioned that in my Facebook post sharing the blog. And then Facebook people got shitty, to put it bluntly. I ended up having to delete some comments and block people.

People were commenting from other places about paper mills that were stinking up their own towns. Paper mills that had nothing to do with the one I wrote about. And going on about the environment and destruction, all without reading my actual blog post explaining how this particular mill was trying to help the community and lessen their impact on the environment. And this mill made toilet paper. I’d just like to know what all those high and mighty Facebook complainers are wiping their butts with.

I’m ready to see the mill in action!

Fresh off the press!

7. The Importance of Headlines – This year was the first year I really paid attention to my traffic and stats. And in doing so, I tracked where my traffic was coming from. This is where headlines come in. In previous years I used funny headlines. Snarky titles that were more humorous than descriptive. And that’s what led to Mommy Spank Me being one of my most popular blog posts of all time. A funny little post about my son asking me to spank him because he didn’t really know what a spanking was. From the phrasing on the search terms, I’m pretty sure that’s not what people are expecting when they click that link (bunch of pervs! lol)

8. I Started a New Blog – This blog is my personal space. I have a hard time accepting guest posts because I’m extremely picky about what goes on here. I feel like this blog is an extension of me- my personal voice. But I get a lot of offers for sponsored posts and guest posts in the general “mom” genre and thought maybe I could try having a less personal blog, so I started MomtasicMommyBlog.com. My plan was for it to be a total “mommy blog” cliche with helpful but impersonal articles about parenting, reviews and guest posts. I’m not totally sure about its future, but it took me a while to get Geek Mamas where it is, so I’m just working on it when I can and if it becomes something, great, but I’m not stressing over creating constant content there.

So that’s it! My big Top 8 Blogging Bits for 2018. It’s been fun, but most of all I’ve enjoyed connecting with other bloggers and readers, sharing my story and having this blog to look back on. And I guess that’s where my personal angle comes in. I love having a record of this time in my life to look back on and see how far I’ve come as both a blogger and mother. On days I may be struggling with the mom thing, I can look back on my own story and see how things have gotten better and maybe even laugh at my earlier frustrations. This blog is the literally the story of my life, so thank you for reading and being part of it!

    My Year in Blogging: Top 8 in 2018 This year was a big year for me in blogging. It marks the first year since I started the blog that I actually…

[ktijarns]

Meeting Andi and Olivia

Before I start, I would like to you google Andi Manzano first. Lol.

Anyway, I've been a fan of Andi since college. GTWM was my jam in the morning, while I get ready for school. If I get the chance, I'd listen to Top 5 @ 5 too. Multiply.com was at its biggest then, and I remember following the Magic multiply page to listen to their uploads if I'm not able to do so during the day.

When I started working in Cebu, I no longer had time to follow her on social media. She got married and had a baby. Not just a baby, but the cutest, most beautiful baby in the world!

Andi and her husband GP started sharing pictures and #convoswitholivia on Instagram and the fan in me got awakened. HAHA. I became updated of their lives and created an instagram fan page for their baby, Olivia.

Originally, the plan was just to have that instagram account as a dump for Olivia's photos and videos. You see, I download everything they upload so that I have something to watch again when I get bored at work. But my phone memory could no longer handle it all, hence the birth of the fan account.

It became a routine to post daily. I check the account if I get the chance, in-between my work load, and before I go to bed. :))

Other Olivia fans found the account and began following. The influx of followers were overwhelming! I didn't imagine it to blow this big! Andi, GP and their family members noticed the account and how it was growing. They are even following it too! Two years after its birth, it had almost 16,000 followers and is still growing.

(Being the owner of Oli's fan account with the biggest following), Andi invited me to join them in celebrating Olivia's 3rd birthday at The Island. But a lot of things were going on during that time and travelling to Manila was not a priority. Nonetheless, to me, it was a sweet gesture. Imagine, the parents of the baby girl you've been following online has invited you to her huge birthday party!!

She contacted me again after two months. And boy, it was the best news! She told me that they might go to Davao to do a show and asked if I would be able to travel. I instantly said YES without thinking about the budget, accomodation and all that stuff. It's the third opportunity to meet them (the very first was when they went to CDO) and I would not allow myself to miss it again. And so there I was, ditched my Saturday work to travel to Davao.

They did a mother's day show at Abreeza on May 13. I got there around 11 AM since they invited me (and another fan account owner, Jasmine) for lunch. Olivia was playful and talkative and sweet. She wanted to visit the toy store after and that's what we did. Yep, we tagged along. :D While Oli was busy checking out toys, Andi shared that Olivia only checks out the toys and plays with them each time they pay a visit. She doesn't demand for her parents to buy her one when she's there. A disciplined kid, right?

Right after the toy store, they went back to their hotel for some nap before the show at 4 pm. Oli thought that we were coming with her to their room to play. HAHA. I just told her we will play later and said goodbye. She then replied by saying "don't say bye, I'll just hug you." Honestly, that's the sweetest thing I heard that week. lol

During their show at the Abreeza Mall, I was seated at the back of the audience. A bit far from the stage so I have no decent pictures of them. HEHE. But the show went great. Olivia was calm and collected - played a bit on stage. Andi was a natural. She talked about her motherhood experience, how she and GP raised Olivia and the struggles of being a mom. I say it was informative for those first time moms.

After the show, I messaged GP if we could have a photo taken with them before we go home. He replied and told us to go to their hotel lobby. :D We left our Army Navy orders and hurriedly went to the hotel. HAHAHA

Andi, Olivia, Wowa Daisy and the yaya went downstairs and had photos with us (me, Jasmine and another fan with her kid). I know they were tired but still they came down for us. :) Olivia wasn't cranky at all. Still very playful and talkative. She gave us a hug and even did the peace sign when I asked her to do it for the photo.

The whole experience was the best I've had in a while. The only downside is that I only took a few photos with them coz I didn't wanna take much of their time. I know they needed to take a nap before the show, and after the show, they might have been exhausted already. Nonetheless, still thankful that I get to finally meet them, hug them, and talk to them personally. What I see on Instagram is the same energy I got upon meeting them.

I hope that meeting them in Davao wasn't the first and last time. If ever they will have future shows nearby, I'll make sure I'll be there. Lol.

[jessestoddard]

Today’s interview with Karen Marie Chase is part of my ongoing blog-to-book project: Life After High School: Secrets To A Successful Life By Those Who Have Had Twenty Years To Think About It (or) What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. If you missed the last post, click here, otherwise, you can start at the beginning here.

Karen Marie Chase

(Formerly Karen Marie La Mesa)

Beverly, MA

My Life In High School

Who were you in High School and how did you feel about it?

Who was I in high school? I was a nice girl who didn’t really fit into a group. I was athletic but wasn’t a “jock.” I got good grades but wasn’t a “nerd.” I wasn’t a “stoner,” yet I had friends who smoked and did drugs. In fact, I’ve never had even a single drag off a cigarette or tried a drug in my life. I had lots of friends but wasn’t one of the “popular” girls. A girl who had nothing—but everything.

I am a child from a single parent family—the girl who would help anyone and expected nothing in return. I was an independent, hard working kid, (started babysitting when I was 9, got a paper route (delivering the Skagit Valley Herald) when I was 11, started bussing tables when I was 15 and moved into working in a kitchen when I was 16 and have been working ever since.

How did it make me feel? Honestly, I never really thought about it before, but as I write this I am feeling really proud. I never caved to peer pressure or did anything I didn’t want to do just because other people were doing it or tried to talk me into it. My mom taught me to treat other people the way I wanted to be treated. A motto I lived by then and one I still do my best to live by today.

What did you think your life would become when you graduated?

What do any of us think our lives are going to become after graduation?

I thought I’d graduate from college, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Who doesn’t picture some version of that grandeur?

My Life After High School

What happened in your life to you, for you, and by you in the last twenty years (how have you used your time and who have you become)?

As mentioned I come from a single parent family. My mom was proud and didn’t have help from anyone, which meant, we (me, my mom and younger brother) moved… A LOT.

I went to five different first grades alone.

Born in Torrington, CT, we landed on the West coast fairly early. On our way to the west, we lived in South Dakota and Colorado before landing in Reno, NV. We spent time in California, and Oregon as well. When I had just four weeks of 6th grade left we moved to Anacortes.

My brother and I were in shock. We had two aunts there and had visited but never thought we’d live there. My mom sent us ahead of her because she thought it would be helpful for us to make friends for the summer.

The Anacortes School District separated my brother and I. They sent him to Island View and me to Mt. Erie. The week after we got to Anacortes we both got the Chickenpox. Then I got to go to Camp Orkila. Met some great friends at Mt. Erie. Friends I keep in touch with today.

The move to Anacortes wasn’t easy. I’d come from a big busy, 24-hour city with huge overcrowded schools to a small “island” that rolled up the sidewalks at 8:00 every night. We spent four years in Anacortes.

I struggled at first; most kids who lived there had lived there their whole lives. They already had their groups. It took me a long time, but I was beginning to find my way, and then it was time to move again.

I was so ANGRY with my mom for moving us again. It was the summer of 9th grade. I had friends, a boyfriend, was doing well in school and sports, a paper route. I didn’t want to move! I sat in the U-Haul with my arms crossed and didn’t speak to my mom the whole way. How could she be doing this to us again?

I started 10th grade in utter shock. I thought Anacortes was small! We moved to a town called Wilton and in 11th grade the next town over, Lyndeborough. These are truly TINY towns. The junior high and high school were combined, Wilton—Lyndeborough Junior Senior Co-Operative High School and only had 350 kids total for grades 7-12! I learned the definition of tiny. My graduating class had 43 kids and 40 of us graduated!

I started dating a guy who lived up the street from us. I dated him all through the remainder of high school and college. We broke up for a period of time when I was in college. I graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Fine Arts with a Graphic Design concentration. After graduation, I got an apartment with that boyfriend. We broke up about a year later.

Finding a job after graduation was shockingly hard. No one will hire anyone without experience, but no one wanted to give experience. I finally got a job in a business card print shop making $11 an hour.

I was so upset at this. I did everything I was supposed to; I went to college and got a degree… And for what? To rack up $80k in student loans to make $11 an hour?! What a freaking joke! I could have skipped school and got a job that paid me $8 an hour and have no student loans.

A woman I was working with sort of put things into perspective for me. She said, “Karen, I’ve been working here 10 years and I bet your starting pay is very close to what I make.” It really made me think.

I stayed at that job for two months because as luck would have it, the job I really wanted called me. The person they’d hired didn’t work out and I was choice number two. I left the BC job and took a design position in Concord, NH. I replaced two designers and they had a temp in to help me but I ended up being the sole designer. I was doing the work of two people but only getting paid for one.

At this job, I learned Life Lesson #1: It was a small family company. One of the guys who worked there gave me the best professional advice I’d gotten to date, “Just remember kid, this is a family business and you ain’t family.”

I worked my ass off at that company. Doing the work of two people and it got me nowhere. I still worked my butt off though. If there is one thing my mom instilled in my brother and me, it was a strong work and moral ethic.

Because student loans were so expensive I needed to find another job to help pay for them. My aunt got me a job bartending at a small bar. From there I went to bigger bars, some a bit nicer, some a bit seedy. But I made good money no matter where I was. On a Wednesday night, I’d make what I made in a whole week at my design job.

I’d been a waitress through college but not a bartender. I LOVED it. It was a natural fit for me. I have never been someone who required much sleep and I love people, so two jobs didn’t effect me in any way other than making it easier to pay my bills. I had a great time bartending.

At the same time, I’d convinced my best friend from High School (Wilton) to get an apartment with me in Manchester, NH, aka MachVegas.

Boy did we have a blast! We had so much fun the cops showed up more than once.  Let’s see… They came to our Halloween Party, our Pimp N’ Ho party, our Toga party. Heck, they showed up at our not-even-a-party card playing Saturday night…. Yep, we gave the Manchester police some funny stories to tell!

During this time I learned my second life lesson…

Life Lesson #2: Don’t date a guy you meet in a bar.

Working behind a bar you get hit on all the time and it’s very easy to turn these advances down. I decided to give one guy I met a chance. He seemed different. He was the nicest guy on the planet until you added alcohol!

Early on I disclosed that drugs (even weed) were not something I wanted in my life (this was the main difference between my high school sweetheart and me).  Unfortunately, he smoked a lot of it. To his credit, he tried to give it up but that translated to more drinking. He got so bad that my friends and family didn’t want him around.  Friends would tell me I was invited to things but that I couldn’t bring him.

I finally had enough when on a really bad snowy night he was being nasty and I said I was going home. It was a bad storm but I ran to leave anyway. I jumped in my car and went to back up and hit my breaks abruptly to his mom screaming to stop. He had thrown himself under my car and I nearly ran him over! Once he got out from underneath he ended up on the hood screaming at me to drive because he was going to die tonight. His parents came out and his father and I ended up wrestling him to the ground and pinning him down until he was foaming at the mouth. I didn’t even know that was real. Thought that was just some special effect you saw in the movies. The saddest part, the next morning he didn’t even remember doing any of it.

Why do guys always do too little until it’s too late then expect forgiveness? I’d been pushed to a point that I couldn’t return from.

I was trying to get away from him when I met David. It was a freak 80-degree day in the middle of February. The print shop I worked at had two buildings and I happened to notice a job sitting on the counter that was supposed to have shipped two days prior. Luckily, UPS picked up from our 2nd building later in the day. I grabbed the box and hurried down the hill.

As I was approaching the building there were two guys at the bottom the hill outside the main entrance to the building. One was on a motorcycle and said something. I didn’t know them so didn’t think they were talking to me and looked behind me. As I got closer I asked if they were talking to me and the guy on the motorcycle said, “Yes, do you need help carrying the box?”

I thanked him for the offer and kept going. When I was heading back they were still there. As I went by, the guy on the bike asked if I wanted to go for a ride. I said sure and kept walking. I caught him so off guard that he stumbled over his response which was, well I’d take you for a ride but I just got this bike today and don’t have the passenger seat yet.

I stopped and looked at him and said well then why did you offer? He tried to give me his phone number and told him if he was serious when he got his seat I worked at Town & Country and was the only Karen there. He could call me when the seat arrived.  It snowed 6 inches the next day!

A week or so later I got the call. It was snowing again and he said while he got his seat in, it was snowing so perhaps I would like to get a cup of coffee. I told him I didn’t drink coffee. Radio silence. I laughed and said, “But I do drink other things!”

I invited him to get some friends together as some of my girlfriends and I were going out that weekend. He ended up coming alone…. My aunt said, “Oh, he’s a brave soul.”  We dated for a year and got engaged that Christmas. We planned a wedding and sent out invitations and everything then I called it off after he broke my trust. We tried to work on things but it was never the same.

A few months shy of our 4-year anniversary—the day after Christmas—he said his feet were feeling funny to the point that I took him to the emergency room. He was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre´ Syndrome. An autoimmune disease that causes your immune system to attack your nervous system.

David was a Desert Storm Vet and I learned a lot about autoimmune diseases and the elevated number of Desert Storm Vets to suffer from them. The good news is if you are going to get an autoimmune disease this is the one to get. Ninety percent of people recover from it 100%, but it is a long slow recovery averaging 6-plus months. He spent a couple weeks in the hospital and a month in rehab. Every morning I would go to the hospital get him in his wheelchair and do laps around the hospital. Go to work, go home, walk the dogs and go back to the hospital.

By then I wasn’t bartending anymore but was a shot girl at a local bar. It was a hell of a lot easier than bartending and to my surprise much more fun! I met one of my very best friends in this job.

A funny thing that I can say with confidence is that I never judge anyone based on appearance. When being introduced to this girl on my first night, for some strange reason I looked at her and thought to myself: Oh man she’s going to be the biggest bitch ever!

I have no idea why I thought that. I was introduced to Amanda and seriously we were instant friends and have been the best of friends ever since.

That year, I left the bar early on New Year’s Eve—ran to the CVS and bought a bottle of sparkling cider and plastic cups and ran to the hospital, jumped the gate and waited outside the employee entrance until someone came out so I could get up to David’s room for New Years.

He was moved to rehab a few days later where I continued the same routine until it was time for him to come home. Sadly it was a downhill spiral from there.

Life Lesson #3: Don’t go down with the ship.

He had a hard time getting back to norm. In fact, he never ended up going back to work. I don’t remember why but he started doing drugs—heavy drugs. I tried to help, tried to get him back on track and to being well emotionally and mentally but I just wasn’t enough and he continued to spiral. We broke up, I moved out.

For the first time since before I graduated college I moved back home. This time, unlike when I left the long time beau, I took my things, things we bought together but I paid for and packed up. I made the mistake the fist time around of letting my Ex keep anything we bought together because my new roommate had furniture and I made better money than him, and I thought I’d be able to replace it sooner. I tried my best but can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, so I said my goodbyes and moved on.

I started spending time with a guy I met in college. I’d gone back to school to see a friend graduate and bumped into him working. Eric and I became friends my junior year. I was a bank teller while in college and he came to my window.

Little did I know my whole life was about to change.

It turns out this guy worked at my college. We became pretty good friends in our senior year, but after graduation, I never expected to see him again. At my friend’s graduation, we reconnected.

We never talked again all summer then out of the blue he called me that winter and asked if I skied. I didn’t but had just learned how to snowboard. We started hanging out a lot that winter, while David didn’t.

After we broke up, I ended up doing some design work for him and he helped me build my office. I started a graphic design business and my mom lets me build an office and studio apartment in part of a building she owned. He came up on weekends to help me build it.

I got my little design shop up and running. Studio K was in operation for about 3 years.  I was also working part-time at the chamber of commerce. I got my name out there, met other businesses and business owners.

I was more or less breaking even and then in May of 2006, my office and apartment were flooded in the Mother’s Day Flood. A huge portion of New Hampshire flooded when 14 inches of rain fell in a short time and flooded much of southern New Hampshire and parts of Massachusetts.

We’d been close but never single at the same time.  For the first time in our friendship, we were both single. I also never saw anything working out between us because he had two children. His life was in Massachusetts; my life was in New Hampshire.

At the time I also had a 17-year-old cousin in my care. I wanted him to be able to finish high school and get off to college before I made any drastic changes.

Well, the Mother’s Day Flood changed all that. My office and apartment had been flooded out.  Which forced my hand to move sooner than planned. We made arrangements for him to stay with a family friend until graduation and I packed up and headed to Massachusetts to start my life with Eric.

I’m not really sure how all that happened. I never imagined I’d ever go back to Massachusetts—let alone live there.

We had some serious ups and downs and some REALLY trying times with his kids. He was working two jobs so I spent the majority of the time with his kids. At first, it was fine as the kids were really good kids.

As time wore on their mother started to cause all kinds of problems for us. Such major problems that we almost didn’t make it. Jealousy is a very unattractive quality. After years together I finally told him it was time to take things to the next level, that I wanted a family and if he didn’t want the same things as me then we were wasting each others time. I felt if he didn’t know after 5 years, he was never going to know and told him I had a time set in my mind that if he didn’t make up his mind, I’d be forced to make up mine.

His deadline was New Years. If he didn’t make a move by then, I’d be moving out. In October he surprised me with a trip to Mexico. He’d arranged my mom coming to pick up my dogs to watch them. He bought suitcases and a bathing suit for me and a couple dresses. I was floored. I tried not to get my hopes up. We’d never been on a vacation and this was a fancy one and was a gift in itself.

We arrived on the morning of Halloween. My favorite holiday! And that night, to my shock—he proposed!

To his shock, I asked him if I could think about it.

He wasn’t sure if I was serious. I was. I asked if we could have a baby? He said he was close to saying yes. I told him kids were a deal breaker for me. I wanted a family so if we could have a family and do something about the situation with the kids (things were still really rocky) then I’d be happy to be his wife.

We saved for two years to pay for our wedding. I wanted to be married before we had kids.  If I had known it would take so long to get pregnant then I might not have waited. I never dreamed of how hard it would be to get pregnant. It turns out there was an issue that was standing in our way, but as luck would have it after several years of trying we were finally blessed with good news. A baby was on the way.

Life Lesson #4: A healthy baby is truly the most amazing gift anyone could ask for.

I took for granted how difficult it would be to get pregnant. Then once I was, a healthy baby became the true blessing in life. During my pregnancy, my best friend (my partner-in-crime shot girl) lost a baby to a very rare umbilical cord accident when she was 7 months along.

She too had a hard time getting pregnant and this was very traumatic for her and her husband. Also while pregnant, another close friend’s baby was diagnosed with a severe heart condition while still in the womb. My niece stopped growing and arrived a month early. I had no idea what a blessing a healthy baby is on top of having the baby in the first place.

We did not know if we’d be welcoming McKayla Marie or Alexander James but were answered when Alexander James arrived on May 30th, 2015. It was a week late but perfectly healthy!

I have never felt more blessed than I do now. Everyone told me life as I knew it would change. I didn’t expect it wouldn’t but I had no idea it was humanly possible to love someone more every day! He is truly amazing.

I know I’m biased but he’s just perfect… If only he’d sleep!

I joke that I followed a boy to Massachusetts. I figure it’s ok since I married that boy and we now have the most amazing little boy and a couple wonderful stepchildren and hopefully a daughter-in-law in the works.

So that’s where I am family-wise. Career-wise, where am I? What was my path? It’s been a little bit of a bumpy ride.

I mentioned I went to college after high school, started out working in a couple print shops, left the second to be the art director at a magazine in Manchester, NH.

I got there and had one of the less-than-awesome experiences in my career.

Life Lesson #5: It’s not lonely at the top.

I got to this art director job and walked into a girl who was acting as art director and being more or less demoted. Their director had left and one of the girls working there had stepped up and was acting as art director.

She didn’t know I was being hired until the minute I walked through the door. What a way to start out!

I should have known better. This was also a small company and also run by a husband and a wife. The husband was fine, the wife—not so much. She was nasty and would play me and the rest of the designers against each other. She told me it was lonely at the top and that I couldn’t be friendly with the girls because I had to be their boss. I do not agree with that philosophy whatsoever.  I believe if you are good to people they will be good back to you and I stuck with that philosophy.

Needless to say, it didn’t work out and this was what pushed me to open Studio K Graphics. I knew I could do a good job and make money at it.

I met a friend/former customer for lunch one day shortly after leaving and he told me he had something in his car he wanted to give me. I got there and he opened the back door and in the car was a printer, a fax machine, a computer and a few other office necessities. He said I was talented and could make it running my own business. I, of course, refused the gifts. There was no way I could pay for them.  We went back and forth and I only agreed to take them if he’d let me pay him back in some way, even if that meant through trade.

So it worked out and that was how I started Studio K Graphics. Once I closed it down after the floods, I kept some of my customers, I just didn’t take on any new ones. I still have a couple I do some work for today.

When I was in college I worked in the kitchen for work-study. I called the guy who runs the kitchen at Endicott and asked if they could put me to work until I could find a job. I was in luck. So I worked in the kitchen at my old Alma Mater for a couple months until I landed an art director position at a company that published trade magazines.

So here we go again, a small company, run by a guy who had his daughter working there for the summer. Well, she was as “Royal Princess” as the piece of work he was!

What a disaster that place was. This was truly the worse job I’ve ever had. The guy was the type of guy who thrived on conflict. He wasn’t happy unless there was some drama going on and if there wasn’t any he created it. His daughter was a prima donna and ended up staying when the editor left. She took over.

Everything bothered her. You couldn’t put an article in her inbox without “disturbing” her. Augh! I hated that place. The guy squashed every shred of creativity out of me and made me a paranoid nervous wreck. Every day I’d go home crying. I only stayed there a year. I couldn’t take it.

This was during the time when the economy was having a rough time. Graphic design and web design jobs were often being combined into one and I had zero web training. I had several very successful interviews and even a couple second interviews in Boston. Something happened with all of them.

McKay Healthcare had a client they were hiring another designer for but got held up indefinitely with the FDA. They assured me not to worry; it would just be a couple weeks. Several weeks went by and when I checked they said they didn’t know how long it would be held up—could be a year.

The other, NSTAR, a union job working for an energy company needed someone with web experience. They had someone they also liked and had web experience. Elder Hostel loved me and I passed the test they gave me.  They didn’t mind I didn’t have web experience because they were willing the train the right person. The manager was going on vacation for two weeks so she said she’d be in touch when she got back.

As luck would have it, Murphy struck again. While she was away, their web designer gave their two-week notice and now the manager was making her hire someone with web experience as there’d be no one there to teach me. Such a bummer. I was really excited about that job.

FINALLY, I was working through the career center to find a job and get my resume in good order and take some classes. I took the Myers-Briggs Personality test that I thought was a total load of crap. A bunch of stupid multiple-choice questions that supposedly would tell you what kind of personality you had. There are only 16 different personalities.

I found out I’m an ENFP and let me tell you it kind of freaked me out a little bit. It nailed my personality to a ‘T’. Also, it tells you some jobs people with your personality types have been successful in and some to stay away from.

What was even more profound was that it gave me insight as to other personality types and traits they exhibit and I learned why this last job was such a pure hell for me. My personality doesn’t need timelines to get things done, actually, they are often counterproductive. I can multi-task and flip back and forth between more than one project and be working on them all in tandem. Quiet time isn’t needed. Music and or people don’t distract me or prohibit my productivity.

The boss’s princess was the complete opposite. She had to have timelines, schedules, could only do one thing at a time, noises, music, and people were distracting to her. Again I learned so much taking this test about others and myself.

I finally decided that I needed to take a web design course or I was never going to find a job. I found a program at the career center that would pay for me to go back to school if I could prove that I needed to be retrained to get back in the workforce. It was a lot of paperwork but I was determined and when I tell you Murphy struck again, it’s true. The day I was supposed to start my first class, I got a call from a staffing agency, I do think the ONLY staffing agency in the area I hadn’t heard of before and likely the only one I wasn’t registered with.

They found my resume online and had a job they thought I’d be a good fit for, and asked if I could come in the next day for an interview. I said sure—why not check it out?

They sent me to Salem Five (my bank) the next day for an interview. They called me later that day, said they loved me and asked if I could start on Monday! I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to work while in the program of going back to school and of course my caseworker was on vacation and no one could answer me so I accepted the job. I couldn’t imagine them telling me not to work.

It was a 3-month contract job to cover a maternity leave. I was fortunate enough to make a good impression on all the right people and 8 years later here I am.

I started out as the graphic designer and when she came back a role was created for me. Half my job was charitable foundation administrator and the other half was an event planner. I was brought on during a hiring freeze so my salary was low but I loved this company so much, I would have cleaned toilets to stay.

One of my first projects I worked on was an internal newsletter. It had a birthdays and anniversaries section. People were celebrating twenty- and thirty-year anniversaries. In this day and age that is unheard of. It spoke volumes to me about the integrity of the company. The first year I worked there I was nominated for employee of the year! Whoot Whoot. I didn’t win, but to even have been nominated after less than a year, I felt pretty good.

My career has evolved at the bank. I started out as the designer, then charitable foundation manager, event planner, to PR specialist and social media manager. Two years ago I was promoted to Assistant Vice President and I know almost all of our 574 employees. The bank has grown from 18 branches when I got there 8 years ago, to 30.

As much as I’ve had a good run and learned a ton, I will be hanging up my hat and heading to another bank where I have accepted a Marketing Manager Position equivalent to my bosses role at Salem Five. I can’t wait! Looking forward to the new role and spending more time with my kiddo. The hours and pay are much better!

My Life Lessons

What were the major life lessons and wisdom that you gained during your journey over the last 20 years?

Nuggets of wisdom I’ve learned: Mom was right.

Work hard, and be a good person and good things will happen to you.

Everything happens for a reason.

Even if we don’t understand it at the time, I have to believe there is some reason/bigger/grander plan.

Old clichés you hear as kids are true, the older you get the faster it goes! People weren’t kidding about that! Eh, what do the grown-ups know? Clearly a lot more than any kid ever thinks.

Don’t work for husband/wife companies unless you are family. As my co-worker told me, this is a family business and you ain’t family.

It’s not lonely at the top. Screw the asshole who said that (Jody).

The former president at Salem Five shared this golden nugget with me. One day when talking to him about character flaws, he said, “Karen, a person’s biggest flaw is often their greatest attribute.” I will never forget that.

Letter To My High School Self

If you could write your 18-year-old self (or however old you were when you graduated) a letter, and send it back in time, what would you say? What lessons or wisdom did you learn? What encouragement or warnings would you give yourself?

If I could leave advice for my 18-year-old self, I’d say:

#1, Mom taught me, don’t ever do anything to someone you wouldn’t want to be done to you—live by that wisdom and you can’t go wrong.

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Be yourself—don’t let friends or family define who you are.

Believe in yourself and have confidence. If you aren’t there yet, fake it. Confidence comes with experience—it will come.

Tell the people you care about that you care.

Give someone, anyone, a hug daily.

Tell your family (particularly your children and your parents) that you are proud of them.

Live your life for yourself and no one else. You can’t please others if you aren’t pleased yourself.

The older you get the less time you’ll have for drama and bull. You don’t have to be involved. Don’t let it weigh on you, and just walk away.

Be kind and others will be kind to you.

Appreciate the little things and be true to yourself. At the end of the day, the only one you need to please is yourself.

Smile! It increases your face value.

Lastly, roll with the punches. When life serves you lemons, make lemonade and DON’T, I repeat DON’T, hang around with negative or bad influences. People tend to become what their friends are.

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  In the next post, I will wrap things up with Chapter 13.

Are you from Generation X? I want to hear what you think! Please comment below and participate in the conversation about What They Didn’t Teach Us Gen Xers In High School. What do you wish someone told you when you were eighteen?

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Life After High School: Interview with Karen Marie Chase Today’s interview with Karen Marie Chase is part of my ongoing blog-to-book project: Life After High School: