#squishy thighs? also crack

[fantasyinallforms]

You can pry my enjoyment of cubby bodies from my cold, dead hands.

[gabbytbll]

Hiii ,can I request a Zayne ABC (NSFW ) headcanons?

love and deep space💫

❄𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐁𝐂'𝐒❆

masterlist 𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐭

Authors note: haii i hope you like this Anon♡ Zayne might be OOC! plus I'm doing this half asleep but that's ok☺ Also i am not that far ahead in the story so please bare with me! (BTW did anyone get the new Sylus memory yet I'm struggling so bad for some reason, and it's been out for WEEKS!!! I'm desperate for this man!!)

There will be mistakes!!!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆'𝐒: NSFW! MDNI!!! there will be sexual content as this is a NSFW ABC'S

𝐀: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 (𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱)

•He is the king of aftercare he loves taking care of you, he has everything you need I'm talking towels, water, etc.

•He loves running you a bath afterwards with your favorite scent, bath bomb, bubble, etc.

•I feel like he loves to also massage you afterwards to because you might get some cramps from being put in different position's

•He will definitely still take care of you even if you do fall asleep on him your health is very important to him

𝐁: 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫’𝐬)

•He loves his hands the most because they can save people in surgery, etc.

•I feel like he wouldn't care what you look like because he's the type of man that looks more for the inside of you rather than appearance of you

•He might like your thighs more than normal tho because he likes sleeping on them and the feeling of the squishiness beneath his fingers (i like to think he's a thigh guy)

𝐂: 𝐂𝐮𝐦 (𝐀𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐮𝐦)

•I feel like he loves to cum on you face or your stomach he likes when your painted with his seed

•UNLESS you both talked about having a child then he will love releasing inside of you the most

𝐃: 𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

•He stole one of your panties before and used it for masturbation while he was away at the hospital for a while

•I don't think he would ever tell you that because he's embarrassed of what he did

𝐄: 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

•Well, he's definitely not a virgin but i feel like he was a little bit inexperienced because he works all the time, and he never really has time to do that type of stuff

•I feel like as you and him started to have sex more then he will be experienced in what to do for you in bed

𝐅: 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

•I don't know i think he's a classic guy with sex position until he wants to start exploring more in bed

•So far i think his favorite sex position would me missionary or doggy style like i said he's a classic guy

•But he might like missionary the most because he can see your face convert in pleasure and he can give you kisses

𝐆: 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐲 (𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

•He is not goofy at all

•He is focused on making you scream there's no time to laugh or crack jokes

•But he does chuckle sometimes when you beg for more-

𝐇: 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥-𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

•He definitely takes care of himself so i don't think he would like down there to get to out of control but there is still some hair down there

•If you have a bush, he won't care he will just explore the jungle like it's his favorite activity on a weekend

𝐈: 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭)

•Oh man is he a romantic dream

•He is so gentle and loving sometimes it brings tears to your eyes because oh my gosh this man is a fever dream

•While you're doing the deed he always likes to asks if this is ok, are you ok, etc

𝐉: 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐟𝐟 (𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧)

•He does not jack off as much as you would think

•He is always busy in the hospital, so he doesn't really have much time to do that

•He wants you to help him anyways

𝐊: 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤 (𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬)

•Ice play- is definitely one of his kinks he can make anything you want out of his evol

•Blindfolding- is one to like he loves how you don't know what he's going to do to you next, he likes to surprise you

•Breeding- He loves to cum inside of you because he likes how you feel around his dick, he also wants to get you pregnant (he's a family guy)

𝐋: 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨)

•He doesn't like doing it in public that much

•But sometimes he does it in his office or a random cafe bathroom whenever he's more desperate or if you get him jealous

•The both of you has fucked everywhere in his house.

𝐌: 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐧, 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠)

•I feel like if you tease him like brush against his dick with your hand or butt, he will think that you want to have sex right then and there

•Whenever you groan or make a small noise he thinks its cute but it does something to him he doesn't want to admit

𝐍: 𝐍𝐨 (𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐨, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐬)

•He will never hurt you he's still iffy about spanking you but he gives in sometimes because you might beg for it but when he spanks you, he does it lightly

•He will never fuck you in front of someone that's a big no for him you're his and he is yours

𝐎: 𝐎𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

•He loves to give you oral the most i feel like he wouldn't care if you sucked him off or not because he's focused on you but sometimes he wants you to suck him off first

•He eats your pussy like his life depended on it, he treats you so good he got your legs shaking in the air

𝐏: 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐞 (𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡? 𝐒𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥?)

•He likes doing it slow and sensual, but he will do whatever you ask him except sometimes

•He likes dragging it out because whenever the both of you release its feel better then fast and rough

•If you want it fast and rough, then he will give it to you and make you regret ever asking him that

𝐐: 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞 (𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

•He doesn't like quickies but sometimes he does them anyways because he needs you asap

•He likes to use sec as a way to spend time with you to so that's why he hates doing quickies because he can't spend as much time with you as he wants

𝐑: 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐤 (𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.)

•He would love to experiment with whatever he and you are comfortable with

•Then he would randomly do whatever the both of you tried and if you liked it in bed (he loves to surprise you)

𝐒: 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭…)

•He has a lot of stamina i would say so he could go for 4-5 rounds on a good day and maybe 2-3 on a bad day

•He lasts about 20-25 minutes every round close to it

•Or he will stop whenever you can't go no more

𝐓: 𝐓𝐨𝐲𝐬 (𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐬? 𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦? 𝐎𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬?)

•He owns a lot of toys like dildos, vibrators, gags, etc and there all for you

•He uses them on you all the time mostly, but he does experiment and uses the vibrator on himself like you might asked for him to do

𝐔: 𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞)

•He is so unfair, but he knows when to stop

•He likes to pull out right as you were about to cum or just straight up ruin your orgasm for fun

•He also likes to rub his dick around your pussy to make you beg him to put it in

𝐕: 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐞 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞)

•He is not the loud but after a round or two you will hear him whimper and grunt louder

•He knows you think he's hot when he moans and grunts so he does it in your ear so he can feel you clench around him

𝐖: 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝 (𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧)

•He fell down the hospital stairs before without nobody noticing so he ran away from the scene (he's embarrassed about it)

𝐗: 𝐗-𝐑𝐚𝐲 (𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬)

•I think he's bigger than average but just by a little so he might be 7'9 inches but he's very thick

•He is very proud of how big he is

𝐘: 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞?)

•His sex drive is not that high but sometimes he just gets so stressed and pent up then he can just go on for hours

•He feels bad for you whenever he gets pent up like that, so he goes and buys you some ice cream

𝐙: 𝐙𝐙𝐙 (… 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬)

•He doesn't fall asleep right away he wants to make sure your ok

•He will do everything for you whatever you ask him to do he will do

•He's the king of aftercare♡

And that concludes this post I hope you like it! make sure you like and comment I would appreciate it♡♡

©️ gabbytbll. do not copy, repost, or translate across other sites. do not copy my sentence structures, plot or characterization.

[rencantstopfalling]

Jschlatt x Fem!reader NSFW A-Z

I'm so sorry I wrote this at 6 am, with zero sleep so please bare with me

18+ MDNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

After he cums, Schlatt is knocked out. Doesn't even bother pulling out, he will just collapse right on top of you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you, he loves your boob's and thighs. Both are so squishy and soft, he likes anything he can just grab.

On him, he likes his hands. He likes what he can do with them, finger you, hold you, have you suck them. Very versatile

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes it messy, although hates the cleanup. Would only cum all over you if he knew he had the energy to clean you up. I also think he's very paranoid on getting you pregnant so to be safe he cums in the condom a lot

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Is down to be pegged. Dude can't say he likes water squirted up his ass and doesn't want a strap!! He's just to humiliated to ask

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's had a few girlfriends and sexual encounters in the past. He doesn't peg me as the one night stand type so all of his past partners have been from relationships. Safe to say he knows what he's doing, isn't an amateur

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. I think he said it on the SDP but even so, he likes the intimacy that comes with it. He gets to kiss you, look into your eyes, hold you, just very sweet

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the mood. He can definitely be silly but for the most part, sex is usually serious, not the type to just crack jokes during

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's got hair, but he keeps it maintained. He's a pretty hairy person, so trying to keep it complete bare would just be a hassle, so it just trims

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think he's rather intimate. Sex isn't something he just throws around, if he's doing it with you it's cause he cares. Not to say all encounters are long drawn out acts of passion, but he shows his love through small acts and service

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before you guys started dating, he would jack off about once a day, but now he's with you, maybe only once a week. He only does it when he's up really late from editing and needs to blow off steam, but doesn't want to wake you up

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Tbh I don't see him being into to many kinks. I think he's a pretty vanilla guy. Maybe a little degradation, and chocking but nothing crszy

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Almost ways at home. He doesn't like the risk of getting caught so he will usually save it for when you guys are in the safety of your home, but once behind those doors all bets are off. Every surface has been tainted

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You doing mundane things turns him on BAD. doing the dishes, folding laundry, scrolling on your phone. Dude just wants you bad

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He absolutely will not put his hands on you. No slapping on your face, he finds it so dehumanizing, he is willing for a few soft spanks on the ass but nothing that will ever leave a bruise

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

BOTH. he's such a munch dude can eat you out for HOURS. It's a stress relief for him. And he can skullfuck the shit out of you, use that mouth to good use (I'm so sorry for that phrasing it's just so funny to me)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He pegs me as the kind to do slow deep thrusts in the beginning, but the closer he gets the faster and rougher he will go

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He's usually down for a good quick, bit never in public. Only down if it's right before he has to record or before you guys have to leave the house.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's willing to try anything you want to try, as long as it doesn't cause you any harm. He is OK with rough things, but wouldn't forgive himself if he went to far

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's a one round guy. I'm sorry he just seems like once he cums dude is done. You gonna have to give him maybe 10 minutes before another round

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really. He's got a cockring, but for you he just prefers to do the work himself. He has gotten you vibrating underwear and sometimes makes you wear them around the house to see you struggle cause he's such a tease

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease. Will finger you, then eat you out. It's mostly because he knows once he cums he's tapped out so he tries to satisfy you as much before he enters you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's a moaner, very vocal. He's a little ashamed so ge tries to hide it but the longer he's with you he opens up more and you get those delicious. Moans in your ears

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He sniffs panties. No further elaboration

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

6 inches, a little thick, curves to the left. Pink tip

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Its pretty high but he can control it. He's always down for sex but won't pursue every urge

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Right after cumming, dude dies

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Stolen Goods 1

Warnings: noncon and other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

Ft. Lloyd Hansen, petite!pregnant reader

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You always felt small. Shelves, table, counters, even chairs made your shortcoming, pun intended, more obvious. Even at the one time in your life when you should feel big, you feel even tinier. 

The rounder your stomach becomes, the smaller the rest of your seems. It really doesn't feel like a part of you. That life inside you that has your shirts tighter by the say and the elastic stretching further and further.  

Swollen feet, hands, and chest, and yet you're still just a speck of dust in the wind. The grocery store so often adds to that sensation of insignificance. The cart rattles over the tile as you weave between other shoppers, veering out of the way as others turn corners without looking. Your progress down the list of needs is slower than usual but you're persistent. 

You stop in the bread section and peruse the assortment of rye and sourdough. You've been craving pumpernickel forever. You pick out a loaf and check your list. Bread crumbs... 

You spot your quarry and reach for the highest shelf. Of course it has to be all the way up there. You grunt and teeter on your toes, your goal made hard as your stomach keeps you from getting very close. 

“Allow me, sweetness,” a man says as he comes up behind you. 

You squeak in surprise as he crowds you and reaches up to grab the canister of crumbs. As he does, he presses himself to you, a none-too-subtle grind of his pelvis against your ass. You gasp and elbow him. 

“Ew, get off,” you squeal. 

“Now, now, honey buns, I got it,” he offers the canister, his arm hooking around to show the crumbs, “you just gotta say please.” 

“What the heck? Can you back up--” 

“Now, that’s not very polite, baby girl,” he shakes the crumbs and moves them away from your grasp as you try to snatch them. 

“I said back--” 

Your voice evaporates in shock and horror as he slaps your ass. You clutch the shelf and brace yourself as the force nearly has you crashing into the metal. You set your feet, regretting your choice of squishy and treadless slides, and he snakes his hand under your dress, trailing along the scalloped edge of your panties. 

“Stop,” you wisp, terrified at this man’s brazenness. Why is he doing this? How is no one else seeing this? 

His hand curls around and he stops as he touches your lower stomach. He hesitates and stretches his fingers over your bump. You’re only four-months but far enough that it’s obvious. 

“Shit,” he chortles and pushes his hand down, pressing against the front of your cotton panties, “someone beat me to it, huh?” 

He pokes the fabric between your folds with two fingers, wiggling them around. You shudder and squeeze the edge of the shelves. He creases the cotton between his fingers and pulls it aside. He pinches your thigh and you whimper as he kicks a foot between yours. 

“What--” you gasp and push back against him, trying to escape. “Please--” 

Your voice cracks and something inside you breaks. You can’t move or make a sound. He touches the tuft of hair along your pelvis and delves nakedly between your folds. You hold your breath as he toys with you, rubbing your clit dryly as he pushes his crotch against your back. 

What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you doing anything? Why can’t you? 

He just carries on, rolling your bud under his fingers until you feel yourself react. It’s the hormones, not you. You’re scared, not weak. That’s what’s going on. What is going on? 

All at once, he retracts his hand. He leaves you quivering and wet and to your shame, wanting. He snickers again and tosses the canister so it lands in your cart. You cling to the shelves, legs shaking, and stare at the wrapped loaves in stunned silence. You hear him suck loudly on his fingers and hum. 

“Naughty mommy,” he tisks and struts away.  

You can’t move. You’re paralyzed in disbelief. That didn’t just happen. A stranger just touched you. Like that. And you’re wet. You look down as your knees buckle. 

You manage to move away from the shelves and look around. You can’t pick the man out from the scatter of shoppers puttering around like drones. His sleeve was black but half the men their have black jackets. Your lip trembles as your eyes brim with tears. You don’t know what to do. 

You turn to your cart and grab the handle, rolling it forward. Your eyes fall to the white and yellow canister that rolls across the bottom. You stop and skirt around to reach into the basket, looking around before you bend to fish out the bread crumbs. You place them on the table of croissants nearby and push the cart onward. 

You’ll do grilled instead of fried. You never want to think of what happened again. You hope you never see that man again. Would you even know him at a glance? 

[mo2k]

EMBARRASSING / ANNOYING MOMENTS 💀

featuring. isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, nagi, reo, sae, rin, barou, shidou

warnings. bad grammar, cracks, little cursed words, kinda suggestive in shidou’s

bam’s note. this weird pleasure while writing this, my oh my <3

isagi. you were resting on a bench when he offered to go buy you ice cream. as he walked back with the cones in his hand. he suddenly stumbled on an unknown rock and faceplanted. he also got nosebleed, by the way.

bachira. is one to jump the last few steps of the stairs. it is just today there is some malfunctions. he haphazardly slip and instead let his lower back & butt slide down the steps. it swells and hurts like shit.

chigiri. can’t go on a day without biting you. from your lips, fingers, waist, to thighs. he claims he just can’t resist the urge to sink his teeth in your squishy flesh. now this is your sign to buy a muzzle.

kunigami. is toned with sexy muscles. and he always throws his clothing so carelessly. one day after practice, he threw his shorts and they strike into your face mightily causing you to almost fall on your back.

nagi. it’s the new attack movement that was updated in his game. and he was obsessed with it. in his dream he was rampaging some monsters’ camp and accidentally pulled that move in real life. his elbow bumped vigorously straight into your nose. critical hit, nagi.

reo. it was your anniversary. before you come back, he wants to surprise you in the most romantic way a man could do. he tried to set up the candles and rose petals. however, it looks more like he was about to set your apartment on fire. (he ended up calling his butler)

sae. you were watching his practice so he tryna look hot. running his hand from his chin to his beautiful hair, that was his plan. but boy forgot he’s been practicing for hours. and when the sweats touched his eyes, he cried in pain.

rin. he works really hard when he practices. which more often than not left him beyond exhausted each day. and you offered your shoulder for him to take a nap on the ride home. after a while, your shoulder felt somewhat wet. yes, he drooled your shoulder. he almost pull his hair out when he woke up. (a stream of saliva still pour from his mouth)

barou. couldn’t accept the sight of your room. you just invited him for a sleepover and cuddle. though it turned into him rearranging / cleaning every corners of your room anew whilst rapping moody complaints and instructions on how to properly tidy up one’s house.

shidou. has a habit of groping / slapping your ass. either he’s pissed or jealous or whatever he would reach for your butt. he does it too often and does it too shamelessly. even in front of the audience before his game starts or amidst his teammates. a smug smirk on his face, always.

like heart, love reblog <3

[miupow]

bunny hybrid soob you say… *cracks knuckles* here’s my thoughts as a chubby girl who is down bad for bunny soobin

bunny hybrid!soobin who has a severe case of ‘big dick doesn’t know how to use it’

bunny!soobin who is so lonely when his owner leaves. he’s also painfully pent up since he only uses his hand, maybe a pillow but he feels so guilty when he’s cleaning up messy pillowcases or even the couch cushions

bunny!soobin who has black velvet ears and a cute cotton tail that’s so sensitive >_< if you touch them during sex he’ll come too quickly

bunny!soobin who just needs a hybrid buddy

bunny!soobin who is beaming and delighted when his owner brings home a plush bunny friend. she’s so soft and cute with that squishy tummy he wants to nuzzle asleep in

bunny!soobin who just adores your scent! he nuzzles into your neck, your soft tits and he’s just so content

bunny!soobin who slowly starts to grope the soft warm fat of your ass, twirling his fingers around your little cottontail to make you gasp sweetly in his ears

bunny!soobin who cums buckets when he dry humps you. he’s just so embarrassed and upset (it should be in your cunt, not in his boxers!) and speaking of thighs… soobin loves to snuggle in those too

bunny!soobin who rambles during sex ‘hah- ah, fuck, you can take it’ ‘take my cock, bunny’ whimperssss ‘lemme give you my kits, need to give you my kits’ ‘fucking take it, buns.’ ‘wanna stuff your tummy, god… jus’ wanna make you glow with my babies’

bunny!soobin who might just have a breeding kink…

bunny!soobin who loves to creampie his chubby bunny lover with his thick, sticky, hot seed

god annie.... every time you come into this inbox u leave me gagged... i cherish u...

bunny soobin is making me go absolutely fucking crazy honestly just hybrid txt in general hybrid txt makes me violent

[shitouttabuck]

i'm a thigh girlie but i'm also a squishy kind of guy so if either 18 or 52 take your fancy for the prompts 👉👈

some sleepy stuff <3

touch prompts: 18 squishing the others cheek + 52 gripping thigh

might as well be drunk in love

Buck might be the most responsible Maid of Honour to have ever existed in the history of Maids of Honour. He told himself that half an hour ago when Ravi crowed FOMO, motherfucker at him post-Chim and Maddie’s rehearsal dinner, after Buck had sensibly and maturely taken his leave from the wedding party’s continued celebrations to get in a solid seven hours of shuteye—he’s the only one who has to be up at basically the crack of dawn to start getting things in order for the actual wedding at noon.

He tells himself that now as he pulls the thick comforter up to his neck, stretching his toes against the footboard and sighing. The empty double bed across from his own just seems to mock him, though, a reminder that Eddie’s probably knocking back the white wine Karen’s got him enjoying lately, almost certainly pink-cheeked and loose-hipped and laughing prettier than any music, only three floors below Buck right this very minute. FOMO, motherfucker indeed.

It's fine, Buck reasons, only somewhat grumpily. He’d be much more upset with himself for being too tired to be on top of things for Maddie’s big day tomorrow than he is for missing out on drinking with his friends and staring moonily at his best friend as covertly as alcohol will allow. Besides, he’s going to do just that tomorrow night anyway, with the added bonus of no pre-wedding stress. This was a good decision, the right decision, Buck is rational and correct and will have no sympathy for anyone nursing hangovers and sleep deprivation when they’re supposed to be setting out chairs and place cards at the reception tomorrow.

Somewhere between one grumbled thought and the next, he must fall asleep. It’s only a while later that the creak of the hotel room door cuts through his fuzzy dreamscape. He stays half-submerged, but Eddie trips over something and swears under his breath, and Buck swims groggily to the surface of consciousness.

He doesn’t bother cracking open an eye, listening instead to the gentle thumps and bumps of Eddie getting undressed and ready for bed. He’s almost lulled back to sleep by the sounds of it: the quiet snick of the toothpaste cap opened and shut, the whoosh of the tap running, the click as Eddie switches off the bathroom light, the rustle of sheets as he climbs into—Buck’s bed?

Buck forces one eye open then, but it’s moot since yes, Eddie does seem to be getting into Buck’s bed, except from behind Buck, so all that Buck is aware of is the sudden gust of cool air against the backs of his calves as Eddie lifts the duvet, and then the mattress is dipping and Buck’s warm again, because—because Eddie’s plastered along his back.

It’s not an accidental mix-up of beds either, because Eddie wastes no time slinging an arm around Buck’s waist, his hold loose but—there. Very much there.

“Uh. Eddie?” Buck whispers, voice rough from sleep. He clears his throat gently, pausing and straining to listen when Eddie mumbles something unintelligible. How drunk is he? Does he think Buck’s someone else? That’s—if that’s true… He broke up with Ana nearly two years ago, and there hasn’t been anyone serious since, not the scattered dates here and there, so—if it’s any of them Eddie thinks he’s getting into bed with? That would… suck.

But then Eddie says, “What, Buck,” muffled and sleepy into Buck’s shoulder.

The warmth that instantly blooms in his chest takes Buck by surprise, a little, and he feels his body automatically relax against Eddie, unaware he’d been holding it tight in the first place. Still, the confusion lingers.

“Oh. You’re—uh.” Should he—say something? Why would he say something, though. Just because this isn’t something they do… Eddie’s clearly fine with this, initiating this, and Buck—there’s never a time Buck doesn’t want this, want this bad. So why would he say you have a bed right there and come off as a dick when they’re both perfectly fine with this.

Or, worse in ways that are both hysterical and heartbreaking, come off as vaguely homophobic or make Eddie uncomfortable about the way he’s currently spooning Buck like he’s been doing it all his life.

He settles for a lighthearted, “Are you drunk?”

Eddie sighs sleepily, breath tickling Buck’s neck. “Yeah. Kinda.”

Okay. That’s fine. Their friendship is no stranger to physical touch, casual shoulder bumps and easy hip checks and full-body hugs. Eddie doesn’t need a reason to be looser with his affection, obviously, especially not where Buck is concerned, but if he did? What better combination than too many drinks and being at a wedding for their friends and family? Buck’s all too familiar with the love having to go somewhere, and if this is where Eddie wants to put it tonight? Buck’ll take it gladly and be a little moonier about it than planned tomorrow.

Eddie worms a hand under Buck’s sleep shirt, tracing his abdomen with his fingertips. Buck shivers. Okay, so not entirely platonic, but Eddie’s drunk. That blurs the lines of a good cuddle. Buck will resign his sorry ass to a night of his best friend being lovingly handsy in the spirit of friendship and lovesickness.

Eddie’s palm moves higher, ghosting across Buck’s sternum. His thumb catches against Buck’s nipple, and they both still for a second, Buck holding his breath. Then Eddie does it again, a lazy rub against it that has Buck swallowing and shifting his hips. Entirely not platonic, actually, any way you look at it.

Then, as sudden as his treacle-slow movements can be, Eddie’s hand ceases its exploratory tracing and taps once, twice, over Buck’s heart as he presses himself more firmly against Buck’s back, a lazy, languid stretch.

“Eddie,” Buck says. “What’s—are you—I’m—”

There’s a pause, and then Eddie relaxes his body away from Buck. “Hey,” he mumbles. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Buck replies without thinking, immediately reaching back for Eddie, hand stretched to pull him back close. “But—what’s—why right now?”

“Why not right now,” Eddie grumbles, sinking back into his place along Buck’s body with an ease that makes Buck screw his eyes shut tight again for a second. “Should’ve been right now many nows ago.”

“What?” Buck asks, genuinely a little lost as he throttles the rising bubble of hope inside him, squeezing just enough to still it without popping.

Eddie exhales heavily and with feeling, making sure Buck hears the exact amount of put out he is to be having this conversation when they could be sleeping, and Buck loves every disgruntled cell in his body.

“Your maid-of-honour speech,” Eddie yawns. “You said—you said you once had a conversation wi’ Maddie about—about love. About how it should be—you’re at your worst and they are too and still—you don’t give up. On each other. On… what you have. You try again.”

Buck hums. “Think they’ve had more worsts than a lot of people. Love that you fight for in the face of all that—or helps you through the face of all that? That’s. Yeah.”

“Chim showed me his vows. About—how he wishes there wasn’t hurt behind th’ reason f’r it, but he loved getting t’ be Maddie’s friend first, you know?” Eddie’s voice is a sleepy slur, murmured almost directly into Buck’s ear with the way he’s holding him. “Even when he wasn’t sure they were ever gonna be anything but. Someth’n—something about trust like that—I dunno. It’s easier when you’re friends.”

“Eddie—”

“My worst, Buck. And you walk right through the door and stay. And, and friends do that, but—I’m not imaginin’ this. Karen told me I’m not and she’s wise. She’s a lesbian. And a rocket scientist. In that order.”

The hope-bubble slips out of the grasp he has on it with a cheerful blown-raspberry sound, rising and rising inside him. Eddie’s hand is hot against his bare chest, and Eddie is comparing Chimney’s wedding vows to how he sees Buck in his own life, and Eddie’s drunk but Buck doesn’t think there’s much room for misinterpretation.

Buck’s not said anything, and before he can speak to assuage any presumably already-minimal doubts Eddie has, Eddie sighs loudly.

“Okay, this is not working. Turn over.” He tugs on Buck’s arm as he rolls over himself.

Buck shifts onto his other side slowly, carefully, a crescent around Eddie’s curled body. Close, but not touching.

“Buck,” Eddie huffs, flailing a hand back to grab his thigh, fingers digging into the meat of it. He yanks it forward, hitching it over his own hip so Buck’s flush against him from the ass-upwards.

When Buck doesn’t automatically hold him, Eddie twists his head to glare blearily over his shoulder. It’s the first time they’ve made eye contact since he entered the room, and his eyes are glassy when they meet Buck’s.

“Hello,” he says. “What’s a guy gotta do to get some cuddling around here.”

Buck laughs, surprised, and Eddie smiles, smug as he turns away and settles in again, like that was his only intention. And Buck gets it, he desperately wants this to just be—to just be it, you know, to have this be the way it happens, to wrap his arms around Eddie and wake up tangled together, to not second guess anymore, but it’s late and Eddie’s been drinking and they’re at a wedding with all the wedding emotions in the air—

His leg hiked over Eddie’s means his crotch is mashed into Eddie’s ass, and Eddie’s wriggling back in an attempt to snuggle into him and—

“Eddie,” he says. “Maybe this isn’t—”

“Ugh,” Eddie says. He turns around to grab Buck’s cheek, squeezing gently. Buck winces, all for show, before his face goes completely slack because Eddie’s planting a sloppy kiss that really only lands on forty percent of Buck’s mouth, hot and minty and lifechanging.

“Right,” Buck says, strained. He takes a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut, before opening them and placing a soft kiss on Eddie’s forehead, brushing his hairline. “It’s just—you’re drunk—I don’t want you to—”

He’s cut off by Eddie rolling his eyes and flipping back around into little spoon position.

“Yeah, well, that’s kind of the thing, Buck,” he sighs, grunting as he shifts to get comfortable. He manoeuvres Buck’s arm around his waist, pulls it up against his own chest, grip firm but still with a relaxed certainty to it. “I loved you this morning when I was undercaffeinated and being bullied into redoing flower arrangements, and I loved you this evening when I thought I had indigestion from those cheese puffs, and I love you right now when I’m drunk, and I’ll love you tomorrow when I’m hungover and miserable about it. I’m in the prime of my life, I shouldn’t be facing these kinda drinkin’ consequences at thirty-three, Jesus.”

Buck shelves the kneejerk comment about Jesus probably being the biggest advocate for getting wine-drunk in your early thirties even though focusing on any of the other words Eddie’s just said might result in his own spontaneous combustion and instead says, “Oh.”

“’Oh’,” Eddie mimics, half-asleep but no less bitchy for it. “Yeah, oh. I’ll do the—the sobriety test for you in the morning if you still want, but can we go to sleep now?”

They can, and they do, and when Buck’s alarm goes off at six am, they blink awake with Eddie curled against Buck’s chest, hand once again stuck up his shirt.

“Mmmh,” he insists, bearing down when he feels Buck try to get up.

“Eddie, I gotta go set up.”

“Gotta—no, thanks,” Eddie replies, clinging harder.

Buck huffs a laugh, any trepidation he had about Eddie’s wants upon waking easing away. “Maid-of-honour duties wait for no one.”

“Maid-of-honour, schmaid-of-honour,” Eddie tells him, muffled into his chest. “What about your loving me duties. It’s a full-time job, you know.”

“Can do that with my eyes closed,” Buck says, “and I’m great at multi-tasking this maid-of-honour stuff, but I need my eyes open for the rest of it.”

Eddie ducks his head, as if to hide his smile, but Buck feels it where it’s pressed into his chest anyway. “Fine.”

There’s a beat, and then he’s propping his chin up to peer at Buck. “Also—for sobriety test’s sake. Hi. Also, I didn’t really let you get a word in last night…”

He doesn’t look nervous or unsure, just kind of sheepish. His hair is sticking up in fluffy clumps and there’s a crease along his right cheek and Buck can love him with his eyes closed but he’s so very glad they’re open, because this is a million times better.

“You really didn’t, huh. How the tables turn—ow, Eddie,” he breaks off as Eddie digs his fingers into his ribs. “For sobriety’s sake—” He hauls Eddie up, and Eddie goes with an oof that’s sighed right into Buck’s mouth. His lips are soft and chapped against Buck’s, much more coordinated but just as purposeful as they were last night when they move against him.

The kissing is lazy, early morning stuff, gentle and easy. When Eddie yawns into it, Buck pulls away, running his hands down Eddie’s sides.

“I really gotta go,” Buck tells him, trying to extricate himself. “Go back to sleep.”

“Yes boss,” Eddie finally allows, rolling over to mash his face into a pillow.

He finds Buck setting out the flower arrangements only an hour later, though, and he’s got with him a kiss and a coffee and, true to his word, a love that persists through hangovers and weddings and drunkenness that’s not his own. Through every wildly outrageous and terribly boring moment of the rest of their lives, actually; the best and the worst and everything in between. A love that stays, and stays, and stays.

(read on ao3)

[leonardosadhdass]

Tmnt 2012 sleep headcanons

Canon ages here! Aka 14-16

(Yes 14-16 year olds can be in Romantic relationships and cuddle)

Also some of these are shorter (aka Leo’s) because I did these over text :)

Leonardo :

I feel like he’s just got perfect body heat that adapts with whatever the temp is aka if it’s hot his blood cools down so his skin is colder and opposite for the cold, and I feel like his skin is genuinely quite squishy, also I feel like even tho their shells are solid as fuck, it’s probably really smooth since he’s def the one who takes care of himself the most and he’d like to cuddle by you laying on your back and him resting on top of you with his face kinda resting on your chest.

Raphael :

He’s got the roughest skin out of all the turtles, it’s more of a scaly bumpy kind and kinda scratchy but it’s not all bad, after you first cuddle he probably start like trying to try get rid of that texture with like lotion or something and it does work but not a lot, he mainly does it for you but it also makes it comfier for him too. He’d hold you against his chest until you fall asleep and He’s probably the kind to lay on his stomach with a blanket on his back and your like head or upper body on his shell like a T kinda ish pose or a X, quite scandalous but it’s actually very comfy, and he probably wakes up last, when he feels you get up to go anywhere he either grumbles and gets moody you’re leaving him to go somewhere even for a second but it’s not actually angry, or he follows you like a lost puppy silently, or does both

Donatello :

I feel like he’s not the WORST in the world but it’s somewhat bad,

Like sure if you actually get him to cuddle in bed which is rare, he’s got his limbs entangled with yours and he’s holding onto you for dear life, one morning you’d probably wake up with his hands cupping your face but he’s fast asleep somehow, cute.

Most of the time he doesn’t get to bed tho, so you just ask to sit beside him or on him, when you sit beside him you’d fall asleep with your head leaning on the armrest of his chair and holding his thigh or one of his hands, if your on his lap which he does prefer, not for the feel but for the efficiency, that way he can move the chair and get things bc he can’t (doesn’t want to) move when you’ve got her head resting on the arm rest. You’d have legs on either side of his and your head on his shoulder, definitely also very soft but some of his skin is sensitive due to probably chemistry fails making his skin have some burn scars or other. But when you sleep on his lap or beside him, it’s not as comfy as you think, you’d wake up with a horrible back and he’d feel bad so he’d offer to crack your back for you.

Michelangelo :

Second best I feel like,

He’s comfy, very comfy, when you actually get him to cuddle which he probably adores, he’s latching onto you like a leech with his face in your chest bc it’s comfy that way, legs wrapped around your waist like a koala and you’d expect it to be uncomfortable but he does it in just the right way so you can sleep perfectly, he also sometimes has his face smushed into your cheek so when you wake up your like face to face with him and he would def drool, only a little tho, and it’s cute.

However there’s the odd time where he’s too wide awake to sleep or too energetic and he just plays with ice cream kitty or his toys so you’re sat in bed alone watching him play, which is entertaining but you feel lonely, also sometimes you’ve woken up and he’s just not in the room, he most likely left to order pizza FIRST thing in the morning which means you wake up and if you two give eachother a good morning kiss you can taste pizza, which is both bad and good since it’s the fucking morning?

[berryhobii]

Late for Work: Clocked Out(jjk x reader)

Pairing: Husband!Gamer!Jungkook x black!female!reader

Word Count: 4K+

Warnings: Mentions of engagement, reader has a sister in this, mentions of wild hotel sex, Smut(18+ but I don’t control what you consume), oral(m receiving), multiple orgasms(m and f receiving), riding, reader’s knees are built Ford tough, like really, reader rides him like a professional, standing sex, standing doggystyle, strength kink, praise kink, spit kink, exhibitionism, voyeurism, mentions of past exhibitionism and voyeruism, idk if I’d refer to this as dubious consent but Taehyung and Jimin listen willingly to reader and JK having sex although they don’t outright consent to it, mentions of Jimin and his partner being voyeurs, reader has a thigh tattoo, reader is dark skinned

A/N: Hi! I’m back with Part 2 of my Gamer!Jungkook smut. This is really just straight horny, desperate sex🤣I contemplated just making this a sweet cockwarming scenario but then I thought….NAH. Reader and Jungkook are so I’m love and attracted to each other. I also included a little snippet of what I’m thinking of doing for a Jimin drabble. There aren’t enough stories about OC/Reader’s being voyeurs so I want to take a crack at it. It’ll probably be about Jimin/OC after listening to this couple’s escapades in Taehyung’s bathroom🤣🤣Next on my list is a Seokjin x roommate!reader, a Hoseok x Stripper!reader, and a Taehyung x NudeModel!reader. I also have an idea for an OT7 x Succubus!reader story where reader collects each member like infinity stones🤣. I actually want to attempt my first collab with that idea so if anyone wants to contribute, please reach out! Anyway, enjoy this! Criticism is always accepted. Stay safe💜

~

The only thing on your mind the entire time you were at work was Jungkook’s cock. You angrily ate your bagel in the car, trying to force down the throbbing between your legs. Stupid meeting! A few minutes more and you would have had that glorious cock right where you wanted it.

Letting your frustration out on your squishy steering wheel cover, you let out a deep sigh. You inhaled a few deep breaths, putting on your fake smile before stepping out of your car.

The meeting went pretty well. Your other coworkers covered for you until you got there. Jungkook’s cock wasn’t even on your mind once you got in front of that board to give your presentation.

Like always, you amazed them with your thoroughness and well thought out plan and it would be put into effect within the next few months.

“We’re going to lunch. You coming?” One of your coworkers asked.

You shook your head, politely declining. “No thanks. Jungkook made my lunch. I’m gonna call him.”

They let out some ‘oooo’s’, your eyes rolling but you couldn’t fight down the smile.

“I wish I had a buff tattooed husband to make my lunch.” One of them dreamily sighed to which they got nudged by someone else.

“You’re gay though.”

“So? I can still have straight thoughts.”

Spinning around in your desk chair, you pulled out your phone, tapping the screen to wake it up. A smile spread across your face at the photo on your lock screen. It was a selfie you took after Jungkook proposed—your lips locked in a kiss and your left hand raised to show off the rock on your finger. You remember that night so clearly. Your sister had come down from America to distract you for the entire day while Jungkook prepared the surprise. She randomly offered to do your hair and makeup, saying it was something she wanted to try for her small business. Of course, you thought nothing of it since you’ve helped her plenty of times. You still didn’t connect the dots when she told you to dress nice or when she loaded you into the car and drove you to an outdoors gazebo lit up by fairy lights and surrounded by your favorite flowers.

And there was Jungkook standing at the end, dressed to the nines and looking like the man of your dreams. You were too stunned to even move. Was this really happening? A gentle push from your sister moved your feet forward until you were standing before him, tears threatening to spill past your waterline.

“I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle like that again but that time, with this on your finger.”

Then he got down on one knee, pulling out a velvet box and opening it, showing you the most gorgeous ring you’ve ever seen in your life.

That night was so magical. High off the endorphins and the overwhelming love you had for him, you two made passionate love all night, whispering your promises of the future on each other’s lips.

…..the room was so heavy with the scent of sex that you had to open all of the windows…..the hotel even charged you another cleaning fee because of how messy you left it.

Mhmm….

You clenched your thighs together, the memory igniting that flame back within you that you had managed to calm down.

Quickly unlocking your phone, you went to your FaceTime app, clicking the contact labeled “Mines💍🩷”. It rang twice before his face popped up on the screen. You were angled down which told you his phone was in his lap, both of his hands working on his game controller.

“Hey baby. Lunch time?”

You sighed, leaning on your palm. “Yeah. I just finished my presentation. Nailed it like always.”

He smiled. “I knew you would. You’ve been working really hard on it. I’m proud of you.”

His praise made you giggle, kicking your feet. “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without your support. And my coworkers too. Anyway, what are you up to?”

“Playing some COD with Taehyung and Jimin. I was about to heat up some leftovers. Have you eaten your lunch yet? Ah! Come on, man!” His outburst made you smile, your eyes going to the veins in his arms that bulged with his movement. Those veins…….they bulged the same way whenever he’d choke you.

Looking around your office but finding no one around, you leaned closer to your phone to whisper, “baby…..I’m so horny.”

Your husband smirked, not taking his eyes off the television. Fucking tease….

“Oh yeah? Sounds like a problem for after work.”

Huffing, you said, “when I get home, you’re gonna get it.”

The smirk never dropped from his face. “I can’t wait.”

~

You were surprised the cops didn’t pull you over from how you were speeding home. Not even rush hour traffic could stop you from getting home. You weren’t even sure you were parked correctly but you couldn’t think about that now.

Rushing into your apartment building, you sped walked to the elevator, almost breaking the button from how hard you pressed it. Ugh! Aren’t elevators supposed to be faster than stairs? You would take the stairs but you didn’t want to tire your legs out right now. That was for later.

Why is it that when you were in a rush, unlocking your door became harder than trying to sleep after fresh braids?

You finally got the code right, throwing the door open and entering your apartment. You didn’t even remove your heels, tossing your bag on the table next to the door before rushing into the living room where your husband was sitting.

He heard the slam of the door but didn’t move. This was gonna be fun.

He didn’t greet you like he always did, not wanting his friends to know you were home. He just glanced back at you before turning his attention back to the screen

You rounded the couch to stand next to him. Your eyes took in his relaxed frame—he was manspreading(because why wouldn’t he be?)in a pair of shorts and still no shirt. His hair was pushed back with a hair band and looked slightly damp, telling you he had showered after you left. Probably a cold one.

He was wearing his headset too, one side pushed behind his ear. That told you he was definitely playing online with his friends. Normally, you’d convince him to stop playing so that you could have your way with him. You just didn’t really like the idea of Jungkook’s friends hearing you two get it on. Ironic considering you two have fucked in both of his friend’s houses before with them just a room away but that was different! This would be intentionally not trying to hide it. Could you live with that inevitable awkwardness afterwards?

Eh. You’ve sat through worse. Nothing would ever be as awkward as that day when your cousin aired out all of the family business a few thanksgivings ago. Even you spit out your lemonade at hearing that your aunt was lying about who her eldest son’s daddy was. Needless to say, family functions are now a thing of the past.

Toxic family aside, there was someone way less toxic looking delectable below you and you weren’t about to waste the opportunity. Taehyung and Jimin would get over it.

Stepping over his legs, you nestled yourself between his knees, pushing his hands that were settled over his crotch out of the way.

You’d wipe that cheeky smirk off his face.

Grabbing at the band of his shorts, you didn’t even need his help to yank them down, a sudden burst of strength coursing through your veins. His cock was already half hard, the cold air brushing against him making him shiver.

You didn’t even bother trying to stroke him to hardness, leaning forward to engulf his cock in your mouth. You weren’t even trying to get him to cum off head, you just wanted him hard before you rode him until his pelvis collapsed.

You felt his thighs tense under your hands, his own hands still working over his controller that he had moved to hold against his chest. The sound of gunshots and the dialogue of his video game didn’t sound nearly as loud as the sound of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Drool seeped out of the sides of your mouth, dripping down to his balls.

He covered a moan with a cough when you took him all the way to the hilt. Fuck, your mouth felt amazing. He was actually surprised you dropped to your knees when you knew he was online. Then again, he bent you over Taehyung’s bathroom sink less than 2 weeks ago so exhibitionism wasn’t completely off the table for you two. He also knew you hated orgasm denial more than anything unless in an intimate setting. You must have been fuming in the car. He knew from the moment you sent him that “on my way” text that you were going to pounce him. He loved how much you wanted him all the time. It made him feel so loved. And he loved you with everything he had.

You were it for him. He wanted to be with you forever—just basking in your affection and creating some of his happiest memories with you.

The sex was a plus too.

At a harsh suck, he tossed his head back, accidentally letting out a groan.

“You good, man? Stub your toe again?” Taehyung joked.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Yeah. This coffee table sucks.” He looked down at you, your eyes already focused on him. He had to bite his lip just to prevent another moan from slipping—your eyes were watering, mascara smudging at the edges, mouth stretched around his girth.

You were a dream.

Pulling off his cock, you inhaled a deep breath. Now it was slicked with your spit, pulsing and rock hard. Just how you liked it.

Standing to your feet, you kicked off your heels while lifting your skirt to yank your panties off.

Jungkook watched you with hungry eyes, the tattoo that spread across your thigh making him wanting to sink his teeth into the fat. Maybe later. He used one hand to push his shorts the rest of the way off, kicking them away.

Once your panties were out of the way, you moved back towards him. You pushed his hands out of the way, moving to straddle his lap. Your perfume invaded his senses, his own arousal beginning to overwhelm him. He just wanted to completely wrap himself in you like a blanket.

Reaching behind you, you grabbed his cock, pumping it a few times before lining it up with your clenching entrance.

He had to hold his breath when you began sliding down. You were absolutely soaked, walls feeling tighter than ever. You took in deep breaths, forcing your walls to relax to be able to take him in.

An airy moan came from you once he was fully inside, the curved shaft pressing right into that spot inside of you. You felt like you could cum just from this but that wouldn’t be as satisfying.

“What was that? You aren’t playing a game on your phone too, are you? I will never understand why you do that.” Jimin said with a sigh and Jungkook could picture him shaking his head.

“What are you even doing? You haven’t moved and they’re ambushing us!” Taehyung called.

Jungkook rolled his neck, blinking his eyes a few times to try and focus back on the screen but you were obscuring his view. And what a view you were.

Gripping the couch behind his shoulders, you began a fast pace on his lap, the meeting of your thighs against his lap sounding similar to the gunshots on the television. He quickly disabled his mic, tossing his head back to let out the loudest moan ever. You were right there with him.

“Fuck.” He cursed, abandoning his controller to grip the fat of your ass. He couldn’t even think about this video game right now or the fact that his kill streak was tanking. The way your walls were hugging his cock were driving him crazy. To be honest, he was feeling desperate ever since you left the house. He had to take a cold shower just to will his erection away. He could have jerked off but why would he when he had you? He could suffer for a few hours if it meant you’d come home and ride his dick like this.

One of your hands went to hold the back of his neck, pulling him closer. “I love this cock so fucking much. I’ve been wanting it all day.” You growled in his ear, slamming down on him harder when you felt him land a slap to your ass.

“Yeah?” He breathily said and you could hear that stupid smirk in his voice. “T-then ride it.” Any other time, you would have teased how he stuttered but with your orgasm just a hairs width away, you ignored it. You’d tease him later.

Adjusting yourself until you were balanced on your feet, you began to throw your ass back on his cock—lifting yourself until just the tip was inside and then taking him right back in.

“Jungkook! Jungkook! Where are you? We’re losing!”

“Bro! Throw a grenade or something!”

He ignored the call of his friends, controller long abandoned on the floor, both hands now on your hips to give you help you didn’t need. If anything, it was more to ground himself. Sweat rolled down the back of his neck, the AC doing nothing to cool down his hot skin. The hand at the back of his neck felt like fire, your nails digging into his nape.

You yanked his head back, your own blurry eyes meeting his. His eyelashes fluttered, trying to stay open—he felt so close, like he was about to combust.

He looked so sexy like this; sweaty and breathless, mouth dropped open and eyes unfocused. His neck and chest were splotched in red, chest heaving from exertion.

You could eat him up.

Leaning forward, you latched onto that spot on the side of his neck, biting and sucking at it until a purple marked formed.

���I’m cumming, baby. Gonna cum all over your cock….” You whispered against his throat, that band that’s already been tight the entire day finally about to snap.

Your walls squeezed around him so tightly that it almost hurt, your juices dripping down his shaft and there was no doubt the couch would need to be cleaned.

One of his hands left your hips to wrap around your throat, dark eyes staring directly into yours. His gaze, along with the pressure of his hand squeezing your neck made that band snap, your orgasm hitting you harder than Chicago air in the winter.

Even so, you didn’t stop bouncing on his cock, wanting more and more. Your nails dug into his neck and the couch, mouth dropping open as your eyes rolled in your head. The pleasure traveled up your back and to the tips of your toes, your clit meeting his pelvis with every bounce, the bundle of nerves feeling a thousand times more sensitive than usual.

Jungkook wasn’t too far behind you.

“Oh my god. I’m cumming.”

You continued your pace, ass starting to hurt from where it connected with his thighs but the pain only pushed you harder.

“Fill me up, baby. Give it to me.” A little smile spread across your face, purposefully clenching your walls around him to milk him of his orgasm. Your ran your fingers through his hair, pushing his hairband and headset off until they were just hanging around his neck.

His eyes closed, his orgasm finally washing over him. Both the hand on your throat and the one on your hip gripping you tightly. The lack of air pushed you right into another orgasm, this one just as powerful as your first. Your legs shook from the force, your bounces slowing to a stop and your knees meeting the cushions of the couch.

Jungkook groaned, finally opening his eyes. “Did you just cum again?”

A new surge of energy rushed over him, the urge to cum again clouding him. Reaching for your blouse, he ripped it open, the buttons popping off.

“Jungkook!” You squealed but he ignored you, pulling the insulting fabric off your arms and tossing it on the floor. That left you in your bra, the cups holding the fullness of your breasts in the best of ways. His hands went to the latch on your back, undoing it with practiced ease. You helped him remove it, your nipples hardening once the cool air hit them. You also took his headset off his neck, placing it on the couch next to you.

He cupped both of them in his hands, squishing them together. He hummed, burying his face in the soft flesh and motor boating you. You giggled at his antics, running your fingers through his hair.

“I love these.” He sucked both of your nipples into his mouth, a shiver going down your spine. “You’re so sexy.” He nipped and licked at the supple skin, sucking at it harshly so he could see the bruises against your dark skin.

You began moving your hips against him again, humming as slight overstimulation melted back into pleasure.

“Feels so good. I love your cock.”

“I know you do. You’re gripping me so tight.” He murmured against your nipples, his eyes lifting to look at you.

Your legs felt a bit weak so all you could manage was a gentle bounce but that wasn’t enough for Jungkook right now.

Abandoning your breasts, he moved to grip at your ass again, helping you move back and forth on his cock. Your back arched, chest pressing closer to his face, his mouth still licking at your nipples.

You moaned as his shaft stroked at your walls, your cunt feeling sensitive but you still wanted more.

“Baby….more.”

Grabbing you by your ass, he hauled you up and stood to his feet. Your arms went around his shoulders, legs draped over his elbows.

Now this was your absolute favorite position. His cock hit you in all the right spots like this and the display of strength made you wetter than ever.

“Ready?” He asked.

You hugged him tighter. “Fuck me, baby.”

Getting a good grip on your ass, he began fucking you back and forth on his cock, this position causing the head of his cock to read even deeper inside of you. The pace he set was brutal, his own hips moving to meet you, fingers digging harshly into your ass.

“Oooooo….fffff-shit! Jungkook!” Your nails dug into his shoulders, toes curling at the euphoric pleasure.

“That’s right. Say my name. Whose fucking pussy is this?” His gruff voice growled in your ear. You moaned his name, syllables slurring together as your brain turned to mush. You were so close again already.

“Fuck! This fucking pussy is so good.” He tossed his head back, moving you harder against him, your walls trying to suck him back in with every thrust.

Your legs dangled uselessly over his arms, head lolling weakly against his shoulder. He could feel drool wetting his shoulder. It gave him a boost of confidence. Let him know he was fucking you stupid, just how he liked it.

“I’m cumming again.” You warned breathlessly, your hot breath blowing over his neck.

He didn’t need you to announce that, already feeling your walls tighten around him.

“Do it. Cum on my cock, princess.” As if his words were a trigger to your body, you came around him, letting out a high whine. “Good girl.”

He slowed his hips to a stop, ignoring your whine of discontent. He lowered your legs to the ground, holding you up when your knees buckled.

“Turn around.” He said but didn’t really wait for you to follow, flipping you around himself. Placing a hand on the back of your neck, he bent you at the waist, kicking your legs apart. You reached up to place your hand over his, the other going to your knee.

He pumped his cock a few times, lining himself up with your entrance and pushing inside. You sighed.

Grabbing your skirt that was still around your waist and keeping the other hand on the back of your neck, he began moving his hips. Your head dropped forward, nails digging into your own skin as his cock bullied your walls.

“Oh my god, yes baby. Harder.” You moaned.

He obliged, moving his other hand to your shoulder and beginning to piston his hips in and out of you. His eyes were mesmerized by how your ass rippled against his pelvis. He could feel that pressure building in his lower tummy again.

Using his grip on you, he pulled your upper body up until your back was pressed against his chest. His hand went back around your throat, using his fingers to turn your head to the side so that he could kiss you. Your hands went to grip at both sides of his hips, digging your nails there.

Mouth hanging open, you stuck out your tongue to silently ask for something you wanted.

And of course, he knew exactly what you needed.

Gathering saliva in his mouth, he spit directly on your tongue. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, swallowing his spit and then opening your mouth again to let out a scream. He could feel your walls gripping him so tight that he had to slow down.

“Fuck. You dirty slut. You like when I spit in your mouth?” He laid a slap on the side of your thigh. Splaying his hand across your belly, he forced his way through your clenching walls. He started his pace right back up, feeling himself get closer and closer.

You began throwing your ass back against him, bringing your hand down to rub at your clit. Your fingers paired with his hand around your throat, his cock jamming into your sweet spot and the rush from him spitting in your mouth propelled you right into the strongest orgasm of your life.

Your vision spotted black, ears ringing, and muscles seizing as hot white pleasure vibrated across your entire body. Your fingers didn’t stop against your clit, the pleasure never ending.

Jungkook was also right there again, gripping you tight enough to bruise, he buried himself to the hilt, stuffing you full of his cum.

He fell back against the couch, bringing you down with him. Your body felt like jelly, energy drained and eyelids threatening to fall closed.

You felt Jungkook kiss your neck. “You okay?”

“Perfect. That felt so good.”

“Was it worth the wait?” You felt him smile against your skin, massaging at your sore legs.

“So worth it. I should go to work horny more often.”

“I agree.” His hand sneakily went between your legs to slap at your clit. You jumped at the sensation, whining and pushing his hand away.

“Stop. You menace.” He chuckled but relented, going back to massaging your sore body.

You two sat in silence for a little while, just basking in the afterglow and falling into a light doze. Jungkook forced himself to stay away, knowing he had to haul both of you to the bath.

He looked up at the television, realizing his game was still on. The screen told him that he was still online, just in the waiting room for another round.

Wait a second….

He reached for his headset on the couch, flipping it over, eyes widening at the green light that told him his mic was on. You must have accidentally turned it back on when you took it off him. Then that meant…..

Putting it back on his head, he softly said, “hyung?”

“Dude, you and your wife are freaks.” Taehyung said, sounding a little breathless.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t you go offline? You didn’t have to listen.”

“Your wife has a spit kink? That’s hot.” That was Jimin.

“You too? I didn’t take you as a voyeur.” Jungkook joked. Yes he did. Even Jimin’s partner knew that. Jungkook’s heard one too many of Jimin’s drunken stories of him and his partner’s escapades.

“Oh yeah. Remember when you two fucked in Taehyung’s bathroom 2 weeks ago? My partner and I were walking by. It was hot.”

“Wait what? You did what in my bathroom?”

“I gotta go. Bye.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

[hickeysgodcomplex]

Okay but like, everything you put in your tags on that why Steve goes to hair salon posts plus also Eddy has a soft tummy 😊

Now you listen here!!!! I had to wait til i got home from work so i could answer this PROPERLY. Cannot BELIEVE you would do this to me all nonchalant like that!

I see your "soft tummy eddie" and raise you "soft tummy and THIGHS eddie" lets fucking GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SO!!! Eddie literally gets them so so high. He's probably got a bit of a dependency on going after all the shit that goes down. But the weed helps with his aches and pains AND gives him an appetite so he can actually eat without being repulsed by the food.

So he's been smoking. And eating. And he's soft now. He squishy and soft and warm. And he'd been lounging in moatly sweats for the most part but the seam across his ass had finally given out one day when he was bending to grab the milk in the fridge. So he'd taken a chunk of their government money and went and got a small assortment of clothes like ... two sizes up. So they'll last awhile.

Anyway he drags Steve into his weekly and then nightly smoke sessions. And the smoke relaxes steve too. But one day he nods off and just, slow falls onto Eddie's thigh. His head hitting Eddie's leg wakes him but he just murmurs sleepily and kinda wiggles down to get comfy-er. And that's when eddie starts touching his hair and steve just hums.

He maybe rolls over too, so he's facing eddie. And Eddie's stomach is right there. He could move forward a bit and just... shove his face there. Knows Eddie's soft belly would give with the pressure and just, hold him there. Soft and warm. But he doesnt. Not that first time. He just listens to Eddie's breathing, his whispered, "so soft. Wow." As his fingers move through Steve's hair, and he smiles, and falls asleep.

And then like a week later, Steve is so tired, not even that high, had a bad week, with bad dreams, but he's here now. With Eddie. On, Eddie. Head resting on his thigh, face turnwd toward his stomach, one arm shoved up behind Eddie's back. He's not holding onto Eddie. Yet. Just, has his arm shoved back there, likes the pressure.

But then Eddie's touching his hair. Fingers moving soft. And slow. With INTENT. And he hears Eddie's little, "hmm soft." Can hear the smile on his face without seeing it. And Steve can't take it anymore. He moves the arm shoved behind Eddie, moves his hand up and grabs onto Eddie's love handle and just, pulls himself closer, his head smooshing into Eddie's soft belly.

"You too Eds." He mumbles, the sound muffled by Eddie's shirt, and the soft skin beneath it.

He feels Eddie's freeze. Feels him tense up. And that just won't do. This is their relaxing time. Eddie's too. So Steve's pulls back, just a bit, just enough to look up at Eddie with one eye and a smile and say,

"You're soft too. I like it." Eddie stares him for a long time, so Steve just keeps smiling his soft smile until Eddie's lips twitch a little, a hesitant smile curling his own lips. He looks unsure. So Steve hooks his other arm up under Eddie's knee, so his hand can rest on Eddie's other thigh. And he squeezes. Eddie shivers, lets out a breathy little laugh.

"Is that okay?" Steve asks, rubbing the side of his face on Eddie's thigh, he's vaguely aware that he may be giving too much Cat Energy, but with Eddie beneath him so soft and warm, he can't find the strength to care.

"Um. Ye-" Eddie's voice cracks. He clears his throat. Opens his mouth, closes it.

"Mhm." He hums, nodding a few times, quick, his cheeks are so so pink now. Steve just smiles, closes his eyes again and nuzzled forward, into Eddie's belly, curling his arm tighter, pulling Eddie closer. He hears a startled squeak above him and smiles even wider.

"Keep playing with my hair." Steve says into Eddie's stomach, pulls back, looks up at Eddie to finding him starring down at him, eyes wide and full of what Steve thinks might be wonder.

"Huh?" Eddie huffs, when he realizes Steve is looking at him and waiting for something.

"My hair. Please?" Steve asks, suddenly feeling shy, his own face going hot, he knows he's red like Eddie now. But his words startle Eddie into action.

"Oh! Right. Yeah. Of course, yeah, duh." He's nodding again. Hand raised next to Steve's head, waiting for him to get comfy again, Eddie's fingers flexing before Steve settles back in, face shoved into Eddie's softness, Eddie sinks his fingers into Steve's hair gently, like always.

Steve hums happily, hears Eddie hum in return. He feels warm all over, so safe, and warm, and Eddie is so soft beneath him. Beneath his head. Beneath his hand. Beneath him and in front of him and wrapped in his arm. He's soft all over and Steve just wants to climb on top of him and stay there forever. But not today. Maybe next week. Or tomorrow.

And they do talk about it. Eventually. Eddie asks about it. Eventually. And Steve kisses him. Eventually.

Because Eddie looks so skeptical, like the thought of Steve liking him when he's all soft now, he's pudgy, he's had to buy new clothes.

He looks at Steve like that's not possible. So Steve kisses him. Steve touches him. Everywhere it makes Eddie squirm. Steve kisses there too. To make sure Eddie knows he loves it. Loves him. Loves him soft and sweet and so so gentle with Steve.

He's everything Steve's ever wanted. Someone soft, and safe, and sweet, who would be soft, and safe, and sweet, to him.

.

.

.

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!! DO YOU SEE?!?!?! DO YOUBSEE WHAT YOUVE MADE ME DOOOO! 🤣🤣🤣🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[feyburner]

tumblr user feyburner, i have a confession. i don't know how to roast a chicken, or do anything with a chicken, and at this point i'm afraid to ask.

I can tell you're afraid to ask bc this isn't really a question. But I will answer it anyway. I'm always happy to talk about chicken.

You’ll be pleased to learn that roasting a chicken is so easy. The below explanation is quite long bc I am including all the information I can remember, to set you up for chicken roasting success. But, essentially, you’re rubbing a chicken in oil and seasonings and putting him in the oven for like an hour. Done.

Remember that people have been roasting whole chickens since the dawn of time using whatever they had around bc it’s the most low effort, high reward meal ever. You could say the word “salt” in a chicken’s general direction and toss him at a candle flame and he would still turn out great.  

To roast a chicken:

Buy a whole chicken, however big you want. 4-5 lbs is enough to feed 3-5 people with leftovers.

Prepare a workspace with a plastic cutting board (not wooden bc raw chicken juices) and paper towels. 

Remove the giblets, pin feathers, extra flaps:

1. Stick your hand up his primary orifice and pull out anything loose. There is usually a handful of little organs like heart and gizzards and sometimes these strings of pale bean looking things (tbh not sure what those are). Save these for stock, except the liver (super dark squishy organ) which will disintegrate. You can eat the liver separate if you want.

2. Trim off any sticky-outy bits that have pin feathers on them, and the flaps of fat/gristle over his orifice. Save the fatty bits for stock. Leave the triangle of fat directly above the orifice (his tail). 

Pat the chicken dry with paper towels inside and out. Get him as dry as possible. 

Spatchcock: You don’t have to spatchcock/butterfly but I like to, bc it maximizes outer surface area for that good good crispy skin. Also easier to get breasts and thighs done at the same rate.

All you have to do is cut the backbone out of the chicken with poultry shears or kitchen scissors if you’re desperate. Then push down hard to crack the breastbone so he lies super flat. Save the backbone for stock or jus. How to spatchcock step by step guide.

Dry brine: Prepare a bowl of coarse kosher salt. More salt than you’d think. Like 1 Tbsp per lb of meat. Rub salt over the whole chicken inside and out. Don’t skimp on the salt especially on the inside. It will not make your chicken crazy salty, it doesn't penetrate the meat that deep. Also some will be wiped off before you cook. 

Put the chicken on a wire rack on a baking sheet and chill uncovered in the fridge for 2-24 hours. The point of this step is the salt draws moisture to the surface of the chicken, which then evaporates in the circulating fridge air. It helps you get crispy chicken skin.

Dry brine + resting isn't 100% necessary, if for some reason you must produce a roasted chicken on a time crunch. But it's a good practice.

Roasting time:

Pat excess moisture off chicken inside and out. If you did not spatchcock you can stuff the inside with a halved lemon or garlic head, herbs, whatever you want. 

Seasoning rub: Prepare a small bowl with olive oil (maybe 1/4-1/3 cup?), salt, freshly cracked black pepper, and whatever dried herbs and spices you want. A good starter is: salt, pepper, parsley sage rosemary thyme, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder. I love me some Cajun spice mix like Slap Ya Mama. Start with like 1-2 tsp of each (1 tsp spices, 2 tsp dried herbs) and build from there. Don’t be shy. Recipes on the internet are like “Use 1/2 tsp herbs for this whole recipe” because they’re heading off 1-star reviews from annoying people who can’t handle a molecule of flavor. Season with your heart, your pussy, and your balls. Don’t be ashamed to use a store-bought spice rub. It’s not lazy, it’s efficient. Also, who gives a shit.

Rub the oil all over Mr. Chicken like he’s an Ancient Greek warrior-prince you’re preparing for the Olympic Games. 

Some recipes tell you to use butter, or slip butter under the skin, but butter has higher water content than oil and might not get you the ideal crispy skin. You can do whatever you want though. It’s your chicken. 

Preheat the oven to 425°. People will tell you a billion different temperatures—screaming hot, low and slow—but I’m here to tell you that it is so hard to fuck up a roast chicken, you can experiment and the results will always be great. 

I like to start at a high temp for 30 minutes to get the skin crisping and then reduce to 375° for the rest of the time to avoid burning. Sometimes you’ll have to cover him with foil if the seasonings start charring. That’s fine.

General cook time: 20 minutes per lb of meat, give or take 20 depending on oven temp. A 4-5 lb chicken at 425° -> 375° generally takes me ~1 hour 20 minutes. If you do low and slow at like 325° it might take 2+ hours. Just check on him periodically. Tbh it’s harder to overcook a chicken than you probably think. 5 minutes, or even 10-20 minutes, is NOT the difference between beautiful tender juicy chicken and a bone-dry tragedy. Chicken is not turkey. He is versatile and he can take it.

Pull the chicken when a meat thermometer inserted into the thickest part reads 145° or above. (160° is the “safe temp” but 1. The temp will continue to rise for a few minutes after it leaves the oven, and 2. 160° is the temp at which bacteria dies immediately. 145° is fine for eating. Disclaimer: I am not a scientist just a guy who makes a lot of chicken.)

If you don’t have a thermometer, pull the chicken when you insert a knife into the thickest part and the juices run clear. Gorgeous.

Let him sit for 10-20 minutes before carving. When carving, find the oysters and give them to your favorite person or take them as the Cook’s Bounty.

**********************

Again, this explanation is quite long because I included lots of detail. If you do it even one time, you'll realize it's incredibly easy and intuitive and doesn't take much time at all.

Godspeed!

[nymph-psychology]

♡ john price headcanons: 001 ♡

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cw: mentions of fem!thick/fat/curvy!reader

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i hc that he loves himself a milf; someone who's in her thirties with a kid or two that are young. bonus points if she's single

also, i see him as a man who somehow gets the best sleep of his life by having you lay on top of him in bed, like a weighted blanket. it makes him feel grounded like he's actually human despite all the things he's done in his career but also to cop a cheeky feel

fucking LOVES a squishy tummy; just something else for his rough hands to feel and caress. also, loves kissing any stretch marks on said tummy

well, he kisses all of your stretch marks regardless ー in both a sexy way and an adoration way ;)

he definitely does the dad thing of slapping his thighs before grunting as he gets up from a chair ー you did hear a concerning crack from his knees, and he hasn't lived it down

i also see him as kind of an old-fashioned romantic. for instance, always buys you flowers and keeps one so he knows when to give you new ones, opens every door, walks on the roadside of the pavement, etc

radiates old grumpy cat energy, and no, i will not elaborate

i feel like he'd be the type of man to let you trim his beard once he trusts you enough. totally isn't so he can feel your hands on his face and the comforting weight of your body on his lap

will grumble and give stern yet loving talking to if you ever have a sliver of doubt about why he wants to be with

the man will essentially howl like a dog and act like a horny teenager at the sight of any pudge that spills over from tight clothing, i.e. thigh highs or straps ー he tries to keep it internally, but you can tell when his eyes drill holes at the piece of clothing and how hard his hands are clenching

despite being a captain and high authority figure when someone asks him about going out drinks or something, he always replies with "gotta ask the missus"

keeps a worn-out picture of you in his pocket right over his heart. always kisses when he wakes up, for luck, before bed when he's on deployment

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

[ticklishsuccubusiris]

13. Is there a tickling fantasy or scenario that you've always wanted to experience?

14. What is your go-to music when you want to feel happy?

13. Oh god the *many* fantasies and scenarios I've had.

To name one: one scenario that I wish was possible would be getting preyed upon by a tickle slime, if you know the 3 figured blue slime from Cackling Cave you know which one. It wouldn't need to go fast, it would be an ambush tickler. I would be oblivious to its presence until it's too late for me to escape.

It would slowly envelop me as I try to back or crawl away, in short order dissolving any clothing/protection starting at my feet. Since it can create whatever sensations it wants on its prey, it could begin tickling my feet and legs at any spot. Likely starting off with light and gentle tickles and teases to gauge what it should do. Obviously it has the ability to hold me still and in whatever vulnerable "you are fucked" position.

As it holds my feet perfectly still it speads my toes apart to all the evil-to-attack skin between and beneath my toes are open to assault. It would start off by having "fingers" attack any exposed skin. So my heels, arches, tops, toes, ankles, and the balls of my feet are inundated with a gentle flood of tickling. I obviously begin giggling and laughing as so many spots are attacked at once, no matter how gently.

As the slime spread up my knees and thigh begin receiving much the same treatment, my knees overall are still ticklish (not to the same extent as my feet or else I'd be dead by now) and the slime can feel me fruitlessly pulling at my feet and legs. Muscles tensing and untensing, helpless squirms and the such.

It learns where it needs to be rougher and focused to add to my terror. Light swishes and pokes turn into digging motions and squeezes to my calves and the bends of my knees, getting slightly closer to breaking me without having access to every tickle spot.

Laughing in despair I try my best to pull myself away but like a fly in a spider's web it is far too late to save myself. The more I struggle the more curious and determined the slime gets. My laughter only fueling it more.

I feel and watch the slime start crawling up my legs and surrounding my thighs, dissolving any protection I hoped would help. The "hands" growing in size to be able to squish and squeeze more of my thighs more deeply (I have big squishy thighs so meeep). It keeps getting worse and worse for me, soon my upper body is next and it is where tickles make me actually feel vulnerable.

The slime of course attack and squeeze those weak spots above my kneecaps and begins getting itself into the area where my hips and thighs connect, leaving my lower half completely exposed. It's done this attack before on other unfortunate souls who got trapped, and those how fucking crazy sustained attacks can really drive its victins up the wall. So it begins digging and drilling that region making me shake and let out a scream among my laughter before stopping.

It found a spot to save for later to really crack me if I haven't given up by whenever it decides. It also tests my hips, looking for a combination that makes me feel like a toy. Just the right mix of helplessness and ticklishness. (I actually fear my hips may be an unexplored death spot, which would give me 3 death spots if true).

It's setting in how little control I have, if any, as this tickle monster is determined to savor and pull chords of laughter out of me. Like I'm a toy with treats inside being attacked by a pet that wants the reward, and will try all sorts of things to get it out.

Slapping the slime with my hands does nothing but let it begin wrapping around my digits and hands, looking at my wrists to see little streamers of slime working its way further up my arms, at a teasingly slow pace.

It begins ramping up its attack on my poor feet, some fingers speed up further increasing my now solid laughter that I strain to hold for even a moment. A brief panic sets in before returning to hilarity upon feeling some hands begin to move at once to known weakspots. Moving to spots where the heel and arches meet while others go to the underside of the balls of my feet.

I can't take it and begin trying to free my feet for even a moment's respite, only to be met with even greater resistance as the slime has begun sapping my energy. It decides to settle me down by switching some of the hands to claws, a change I feared. My feet feel like they're under assault by many hands of sharp nails and evil fingers squiggling about the softest spots. I didn't know I could laugh this hard.

For a moment the fingers digging between my toes stop, only for the sensation to turn into something far worse: small rough tongues like those of a cat but worse as they can glide back and forth far faster than a cat could ever.

I roar and beg for this slime to do anything but that, but to no answer, only continued lickles. No escape, just laugh for the monster as you go from a strong woman to some sort of hysterical victim.

It's like they're not my feet anymore but a plaything I face the consequences of.

I think the tongues are spreading, clearly encouraged by my reactions. If my toes hate it so much, why not elsewhere? As far as the slime is concerned I may be a tasty thing of ice cream, needs to be licked to be enjoyed.

It spreads up even more, my top being dissolved away giving the slime access to even more spots. Up my sides, on my tummy, across my ribs, all over my chest and into my armpits.

It hits all at once, like I just had a swarm of ticklers descend on me. All the squeezing, poking, prodding and dancing of who knows what on my upper body is too much. I can't get out words, only pained howls of helpless gargalesis. It knows my weaknesses as well as, if not more than me. All those spots I never had a chance to feign not being as sensitive are being punished for their sensitivity.

As if it knew where tickle and death spots were prior to tickling; it doesn't make sense, it couldn't know I was even ticklish to begin with!

In what little room for thought I have remaining, most going to the desperate cries my body is sending to me to shield it, keep the hands away, NO NOT THERE, and all other sorts of jumbled pleas to protect the tickle spots. I can't and won't be able to anymore. The panic reaction that makes me erupt waves of hysteria and endless fruitless attempts to protect even the smallest spot slowly eating away at my will.

I didn't think it would escalate further and let my guard down enough to hold on to my sanity. It was a critical mistake as the tendrils drilling in my pits morph into soft-bristled fingers. The best explanation for whatever that vile creature created in my pits. It's a torturous mix of deliberate pokes, squeezes and skittering mixed with the feeling of dozens of little paintbrushes overlapping or trailing right behind fingers.

My pits scream in ticklish agony, never feeling so stupidly in need of help. I can't help myself at all as my arms are held at the wrists and biceps, my hands held apart and being tickled. The maddening grabs and poking of my biceps. The fear of those hands abandoning my biceps and aiding those destroying my pits.

I want to scream and beg for help, to make the slime not tickle me to wits end. The slime will never let that happen and surrounds my neck. I suddenly feel countless sloppy kisses and licks all around it. And why are there floral and other great smelling scents around me??? We're in a cave.

A fleeting thought plants itself into the front of my mind: aphrodisiacs being treated by my brain as sweet perfumes. The tickly kisses and licks combined with the tickle treatment from hell, and this evil ploy at the end shatter whatever is left of my focus. I'm dragged through my imagination imagining those I find attractive or people I had looked up to kissing and licking away at my 2nd death spot. It's unfair and cruel, making me feel those people are simultaneously betraying and arousing me. Dear friends going from highly trusted and respected people to ticklers out for the most broken of laughs.

My slipping sanity makes me hear teases and taunts no one is saying, compounding my ticklish suffering. Teases about how ticklish I am, about where they're gonna strike, how they know what I feel and laugh at how dirty my mind is. The random yet endless streams of *tickletickletickle* *kitchykitchycoo* *no escape for you ticklish*

The horror of knowing the slime absolutely loves my animalistic howling laughter and my sense of utter helplessness and weakness. Brought to the land of insanity through tickle torture, knowing I won't be allowed to pass out or escape in any way unless someone takes pity on me and frees me.

So omfg that became a long story. I think my imagination shines here in tickle fiction of all things. I really am a stupidly needy lee.

14. May sound weird but a mix of vocaloid songs like Mr. Music, Pomp and Circumstance, etc. Then revolutionary music from the past like songs in Grenada from 1978/9 to 1983. Or Venceremos.

[mama-emeritus-i]

Subby!Phantom X Reader NSFW Alphabet

A/N: I got really self indulgent with this, I apologize. Reqs are coming out later this week asap! I had a lot of fun with this NSFW Alphabet, so let me know if you want more

Warnings: MDNI, Sub Phantom, dominant/submissive dynamics, cum play, wrap it before you tap it, I had too much fun with this, bondage, oral, exhibitionism, possessive bby

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Phantom becomes sleepy and more affectionate than usual. If you have to get up to clean yourselves off or go get water, he will absolutely try to pull you back to the bed, mumbling about how much he loves you. On most other occasions though he will be the one to take the liberty and get you both cleaned up- he is nothing if not a gentleman. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of his body is his hands, mostly because of everything he can do with them, in or out of sex. For you, he’s a thighs and eyes guy. He could stare into your eyes all day, just admiring them. Phantom also loves you thighs, thick or thin (especially if they’re squishy though), he always has his hand on your leg when you’re sitting, just absentmindedly drawing small circles (yes this includes driving. Please be responsible when driving, thighs can wait). 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

THIS MAN IS MESSY. Hear me out, okay? He’s not super excited about cumming in you like many of the other ghouls- he would much rather finish on himself or on you. Something about the mess and how you were able to do that to him makes his brain short circuit. Phantom also loves to have your arousal and cum all over his face- sit on his face, suffocate him, whatever you want. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While he would not keep this as a secret if you asked, Phantom does love the idea of being watched. Not in a voyeur way, but more a “anyone could see you like this” and a “they can see but they can’t touch- you’re all mine”. This goes both for subby Phantom and normal Phantom. He’s possessive and enjoys when you are possessive over him. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

His experience was limited to playing party games like 7 minutes in heaven and spin the bottle, so when you two first fell into your dynamic, he came a lot and early. It took him a while to build the stamina and learn where his boundaries lie. You both realized early on that sometimes he just needed to turn his brain off and let you take over. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

This may sound cheesy, but any position where he could see your face. He loves cowgirl, being able to see you on top of him makes his brain go to mush. He also loves anything against a wall or sitting you up on a countertop/table. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He may joke around up until a certain point. When he gives in, his brain turns to mush and he ends up tunnel-visioning on you. He knows how to crack a joke when things go in an unexpected turn or when something doesn’t work out perfectly, but most of the time he can barely remember his own name, let alone jokes. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I do like to think that Phantom is relatively well groomed, honestly I don’t think he has that much body hair to begin with. He keeps everything trimmed and at the very least neat. I don’t think he cares if you shave or not, since when he’s turned on that’s the last thing he thinks about. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Phantom is absolutely whipped for you, like genuinely. I think he’s very romantic… well as romantic as you can get when you’re tied up. When he’s in the zone all he can see is you, all his thoughts are just filled with you. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When Phantom was first summoned, and to this day, his libido is through the roof. Catholic jackrabbits are jealous of just how quickly this ghoul can get horny (no pun intended). He would jack off a lot before you came into the picture, however after? Once you were in the picture, it was hard for him. You made him feel so good in a way that his hand or a solo toy just could not. So he doesn’t have any issues against it, but why do it when he could just find you? 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Obviously what we have touched on, Phantom likes to sub a lot- while he technically is a switch, we’re focusing on bbg Phantom. He will happily sit there, only thinking about you and how much he loves you as you ruin him. SO- in that realm, tie Phantom up and praise him, He just wants to be your good boy so bad. As mentioned before, he also has a bit of an exhibitionism kink- something about people being able to see him fall apart for you, but not being able to touch has his mind going in circles. This also leads to the occasional broom closet quickie or late night communal area fuck. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 The bedroom, while he does get an occasional kick from other places and being caught, at the end of the day he will always want you in your bedroom. There’s something so personal about that to him (also more room for activities).

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Literally anything you do. When I tell you this man is whipped for you- I mean he is WHIPPED. There was this reddit story I heard a while back about how this woman accidentally pavloved her partner into getting turned on by pulling her hair into a low ponytail, and it wouldn’t surprise me if something similar happened between you and Phantom. He loves when you wear his clothes, or those thigh high socks with the squish at the top. I don’t think he would be a nudes guy, but send him a text about what you want to do to him, and he’s already making excuses to see you. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Phantom does not like pain, giving or receiving. Something about that feels off to him, yall tried it and it just did not work. Also I don’t think he would ever share you, y’all are together and it would kill him to know you’re making someone else feel good. Also orgasm denial, I just don’t think he would be into it. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Suffocate him with your thighs, please. If he could stay between your thighs until the end of time he would. He also enjoys receiving, but not as much, he would rather you do other things to him. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He loves when you take your time with him, rile him up, tease him until he's begging. When he’s not in subby Phantom mode, he will go like a jackhammer if you give him the chance. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

While they are not his favorites, sometimes between rehearsals or during tour that’s all you have time for so he tolerates them. Something about it just feels off to him, it doesn’t feel as personal. He enjoys the process of getting pretty for you and teased. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He will try almost anything. There have been times where you two are sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phones when he will send you a link to a toy, or some new thing he found in his scrolling adventures. There was once where you tried sex chocolate, and once where you tried pegging him, both of which he said he would try again. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is very sensitive, so while he may not last long, he can go for many MANY rounds. His stamina has improved over the last few years, but it takes time and how could he keep up his stamina when you make him feel so good?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You and Phantom have a basket of toys that sits in the corner of your room. You two have tried multiple different things, everything from ropes to rabbits, to clamps. The cock ring is a regular user, given the stamina mentioned above. I don’t think Phantom likes using toys when going solo, but always tries when he knows he will be away from you for a while. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tease him and tell him he’s pretty. Phantom wants you to tease and take your time until he is begging. The feeling and build up turn him into mush and he loves it. When it comes to you, I don’t think he teases you very much, he needs you and needs you now (very impatient). I also don’t think he would brat, and if he does, it’s not for long. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Pretty ghouls make pretty noises. While he is not loud, Phantom is vocal. He will whimper and moan for you, no matter what role he is in. He doesn’t care if he sounds pathetic, he can’t help it, you just make him feel so good. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Wild Card! Sometimes when he gets really pussy/cock drunk, he will revert back to the language of the hells. He doesn’t mean to and oftentimes doesn’t realize he does it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I think Phantom is pretty average sized, but over time he has learned how to use it. He’s also a lot stronger then he looks, and has reminded you of that on occasion, accidentally breaking restraining toys/ropes. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As mentioned, he has a libido that puts catholic rabbits to shame. His body seems to have no chill, and while most of the time he can live with it, sometimes he just needs that relief. We all know his heats are on a different level. Most of the other ghouls blame this as a side effect of new summoning, but you’re starting to doubt that.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He tries to stay up until you fall asleep, but sometimes his body just gives up trying to be awake, needing to recover.

[cyberrat]

81st Batch Of Fics: 5th Fill

Husk/Angel – hurt/comfort; double ended dildo – Angel comes back to the hotel after a rough night and Husk decides to finally make one of his dreams come true to get him into better spirits. It works.

---

Angel hasn’t told Husk what’s been going down that night but the way he almost crawls into the bartender’s room, a haunted look on his face, makes him wonder.

He putters around his room, one eye always on the demon on his bed. Angel has curled up beneath the covers and is just morosely scrolling on his phone. It’s more the fact that he has barely said a word, though, that is making Husk feel awkward and worried.

He casts around for something, anything to say that could make Angel feel better, but comes up short until his eyes land on a cloth bag that’s lying in the corner of his room. He pulls a face, heat immediately crawling through his body, but… it might just work?

Husk shuffles over and grabs the bag, sticking his paw in and pulling the thing inside out before he can think better of it.

“Hey. Angel.”

Angel just rolls his eyes over to him but when he sees Husk standing there with the soft, double-ended dildo dangling from one of his paws, he rips his head around and sits up so fast that it actually looks painful.

“You gonna try it with me?!” he asks.

Husk feels so fucking stupid with that toy in his paw, hunched over and wanting to die of embarrassment, but… it kinda is worth it seeing the absolute excitement that suddenly fills Angel.

“...Yeah… let’s try it.”

.o.

Husk’s ears are folded back but not because he’s particularly unpleased about the experience. He more so wants to try and hear Angel behind him. His voice sounds so… so… so good. All soft and breathy and mewling as he keeps working himself up into a tizzy – and Husk along with him.

Each enthusiastic backwards thrust has the toy slide deeper into Husk’s guts and makes him dig his claws into the bedding. His tail is curled high in the air above them, the feathered tip occasionally tickling his own neck and adding to the odd sensations crawling through his body.

Angel sounds like he’s about to hyperventilate while Husk feels like he’s going through molasses. His whole body feels so heavy. It’s difficult to even keep up on all fours, his hole wrapped around the toy, suckling and wet.

He can feel the sweet little smacking contractions of his rim around the squishy silicone. It makes his fur stand on end and his cock feel like bursting.

Whenever he lets his head hang to stare down between his arms, along his furry belly and toward Angel on the other side, he can see how his front hole is leaking generously; a pearly, glittering webby fluid that stretches down to the bedsheets. Hell, if he can focus his eyes enough he can see that delicious little hole contracting… so hungry to be stuffed just like the other one.

“Fuck, H-Husky- feels so damn good-!” He thrusts his body backwards, spearing himself on the dildo and ramming it deeper into Husk in turn. The sensation zings along Husk’s spine like a bolt of electricity.

He just groans softly. He closes his eyes and tilts his body back into it, trying to keep up with Angel’s enthusiastic bouncing but getting nowhere near close. It’s just so… overwhelming. Especially when the fur of their thighs suddenly starts brushing together, letting them both know just how deep they have managed to fuck themselves on their toy.

“Oh shit… oh damn-! Come on, come on- I wanna… wanna kiss your hole with mine-” his voice is cracking. He sounds so fucking jazzed about it.

Husk bites into his forearm, struggling to remain quiet, cock bouncing now every time Angel enthusiastically pushes backwards, hellbent on pressing their asses together. Hellbent on getting their rims to touch. The thought makes Husk feel like his brain is overheating.

The pain from his teeth digging into his flesh kind of calms him down, but it also leaves more room for him to think about other scenarios. Just how possible would it be for him to push his cock back between his legs and stuff it into Angel’s hole? Absolutely impossible, but in his lust-addled mind it just seems plausible enough that he stops biting his arm and instead furiously licks his fur and the aching spots his teeth had dug in.

It’s a self-soothing mechanism; a tactic to try and distract himself from his imminent orgasm, guts filled with a soft, jiggly silicone cock and Angel’s cracking voice in his ears, twisting around his spine.

It’s horrible that they both like to be filled so much. Horrible, no good, bad-

“Come on, please… p-please baby c-c-cakes; I can’t do it alone, hmn? I can’t fuckin’ do this alone-”

Angel’s voice has gone so soft and small. He sounds on the verge of tears. Husk peers around one of his biceps and is shocked to find Angel is doing the same. Just two sluts staring at each other, speared on a double-ended dildo and losing their fucking minds.

At least his gamble came true and Angel looks a lot less depressed than he had earlier.

Difficult when there’s a fucking snake winding its way through your guts, he supposes.

Angel’s eyes are still locked with his. He’s stopped all movement, leaving the two of them trembling with their bellies full and their holes stretched and oversensitive.

“...Please,” he finally whines. It sounds bratty, yea… but also heartbroken; and Husk is a fucking sucker for that shit.

His tail trembles at the base, the motion moving through its whole length. He nods, feeling the tips of his ears bobbing in unison with the motion.

“Yeah,” he answers softly. “Yeah… okay.”

And he starts moving. Nervous little rocking motions pushing more of the cock into his body. Filling him inch by inch. He can feel its slippery length twisting around the turns of his intestines. It leaves him drooling with his tongue lolling out and a blessed emptiness filling his skull.

He’s too old for this. He’s no cute little fucktoy like Angel. He’s an old fucking cat that likes way too much how it feels when his furry ass touches the furry ass of this pretty spider boy.

Angel, now that he doesn’t have to do more work, is folding in on himself. Bracing himself on his shoulders, his lower arms reach back and grasp his ass, spreading what meager cheeks he has nice and open.

A lot of things happen once Husk manages to squeeze their asses together.

His tail develops a mind of its own, curling around Angel’s waist and holding on tight while they both loose their collective mind over this entirely alien, entirely wonderful, entirely overwhelming feeling.

Husk, to his unending shame, yowls like the cat he has become; just once and sharp as an orgasm pushes through him that leaves him a drooling, fucked-up mess.

And somewhere in the middle of him grinding his ass back, rubbing their cheeks together, and pumping out his load to mix with the pearly, glittery mess that Angel is leaving behind, he feels like he hears a soft, high-pitched voice chant: “Love ya, Husky! So fuckin’ much!”

He’s not… entirely sure about that one, though. All he knows is that shit paid off and Angel is a lot more happy now than he was an hour ago.

And that’s what counts.

[shady-scripter]

Tis A Curse

They’re trans your honor 🥲

Yeah, maybe he should’ve asked Malon for a pad before they left. He knew it was only a matter of time before his uterus acted up again. Not even the goddess could save him from that.

So who should he ask? The Champion? He had suspected that the Champion was…like him for a while now. Maybe the Champion was just high on testosterone which didn’t make sense but it kind of did and he was really panicking because the only thing keeping the others from seeing the red stain on his pants was his white sailcloth.

His white sailcloth. Red was so obvious on white.

He swore by the goddesses that, as soon as he could, he was getting his uterus taken out. His hatred was not for no reason.

Sky reached back and touched the cloth every once in a while, making sure his blood hadn’t stained his gift.

His legs were in agony. He was a lot slower than usual and part of him felt bad, but the other part of him was in pain. When he had started to take testosterone, he was told that his period was supposed to stop.

Did it? No. No it didn’t. His cramps only got worse. It was like he was being stabbed with every step he took. Not only that, but it was your stomach that was supposed to hurt, not your thighs. He felt every ounce of pain in his thighs.

He had dealt with this since he was at least nine. He could deal with it now, but he really wanted to sit on something. Even if it was a rock with moss all over it.

Now he was on watch for the night. Even sitting down didn’t soothe his aching thighs. He had taken his pants off and washed as much blood as he could out of it, but he was sure they were trashed.

The bad thing about having a three day period, is that, all three of those days, his flow was relentless. If he didn’t have a pad on him, his pants were going into the trash.

Without having pants, he was cold. So, he went searching for other pants.

He went to Wild’s bag, hoping to find some pads. He searched for at least five minutes. There was nothing. Sky gave up on pads at that moment and just went searching for pants.

He searched Warriors’s bag first. His pants looked like tights.

He creeped towards Twilight’s bag next, Twilight twitched in his sleep. Sky backed away.

His last hope was Time’s bag. He unzipped it and began his search. He found pants pretty quickly. And they looked comfortable. Then his curiosity overcame him. He glanced at Time, his body was facing the opposite direction of Sky, but that was only because he had turned over not to long ago.

Sky thought about it for a second before he started to do a deep search of his bag.

Sky found three masks. One mask’s eyes were hollowed out, which made the other two hazards because Time couldn’t see with them on. The mask with the hollowed eyes had markings similar to Time’s. He found that interesting.

He kept digging against his morals. What could he say? He was a noisy guy.

He felt something that felt and sounded like a trash bag. He questioned what it was for a few seconds before he pulled it out.

It was a small square and squishy. Sky had never seen this brand before, but he sure knew what it was.

“Yes!” He whisper yelled, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” He cheered.

He searched to see how many Time had. There were at least twenty in there. Time wouldn’t mind if he took five, would he?

He took five pads and zipped up Times bag. He then circled back for the pants he was stealing. Sky practically ran out to the woods so he could get changed.

On his way back, he started to think. Why would Time, of all people, have pads? I mean, maybe if Malon had came that would make more sense, but she didn’t. The only other reason would be…

Sky was suddenly overcome by joy.

The Old Man is not trans-

Sky reemerged and saw Time sitting up, his severed eye open. Suddenly, Sky’s joy turned into embarrassment. Sky also didn’t like the knowing look Time gave him.

“Good morning,” Sky’s voice cracked.

Time chuckled and patted the grass next to him. Sky sat.

“Okay, yes, I went through your stuff. I’m sorry,” he confessed.

“No, that’s not why I sat you down. I know why you went in my bag. I heard your curses when you searched Wild’s bag. You have quite the mouth, I should say.”

Sky gripped the stolen pants he wore. “Sorry.”

“No sorry.” Time put his hand on Sky's head and pulled it on his shoulder. “I know.”

Sky decided to ask. “Um…are you-“

“Yep.”

“Oh. Me too.” Sky mentally face palmed. Time laughed. “Periods actually suck.” Time hummed. “I mean, I’m probably not even going to have kids!”

“That probably means something in that sentence.”

“Are you going to have kids…that way?”

Time paused for a second before shrugging. “Probably.”

Sky raised his head to look at Time. “Huh? I mean, maybe if Malon was…” Sky stopped and looked at Time. “No way!”

Time laughed, but nodded. “Yes way.”

Sky gripped Time’s shoulders, put his head on Time’s chest. “How do you both hide it so well! I know Legend was side eyeing me all day. I swear everyone knows because of today!”

“Or maybe it was the chest scars you showed us when we were playing in the river. You know, with the cucco fighting?”

Sky paused for a second. Then he raised his head to look Time in the eyes. “I completely forgot about that.”

Time chuckled. “How do you forget about top surgery?”

“I mean,” Sky reasoned, “It’s been years since. I guess I just forgot that I had boobs.”

Time hummed then he looked up. “Go wake up Warriors, it’s his turn for watch. Well, you technically skipped his watch, but he’s still going tonight.”

“I didn’t skip his watch! It’s-“ Sky looked up at the moon and saw that it was around three or four in the morning. “Oh.”

Time pat Sky’s back. “Go wake him up.”

“Yeah.”