#squints i actually have no idea what to tag this as lol

[n0thingbutlov3]

need you now | 2 |

in which readers true feelings are revealed.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings/tags: angst again (whoops) miscommunication (it’s short dw) fluff, reader is hungover lol, spencer is handsomely disheveled (moans) mentions of blueberry muffins being readers favourite type of muffin (sorry for not being vague but also if you don’t like blueberry muffins??? why) some tears, some swearing, some kissing, suggestiveness at the end of you squint (WHOOPS *evil smirk*) no use of y/n!! wc: 2.1k a/n: call me slim shady because i am back!!! i procrastinated writing this because i was scared everyone was secretly judging my writing and actually hated it and a second part would be a stupid idea but THEN i realised that was a little bit silly so im here B) part one got over 1000 notes (INSANE) all the support has been so so lovely—every note, reblog, and comment means the world to me, thank you!! i hope this part is okayy, feedback is always appreciated :) i hope you enjoy it you choose to read!!! <3 p.s kissing scenes are so difficult to write, i think i done absolutely awful!!!so let’s ignore that…. if you haven’t already and you’d like to, you can read part one here!

Your eyelids twitched as the early morning sun filtered through your bedroom. What was usually a calming wake-up call now felt like being blinded.

You burrowed your face into your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to dull the throbbing in your head. This is why you didn’t drink often.

Asides from the obvious headache and nausea, you always seemed to wake up with a sense of dread; ‘hangxiety’—a friend had called it once. It was creeping up on you now, and even though you weren’t sure exactly what you had done, you knew it was bad. You flipped onto your back, fixing your gaze to the ceiling as if it could tell you what irreparable mistakes you had made last night.

It couldn’t, of course. The only thing you had realised is that you should probably coat it in a new layer of paint soon.

“How’re you feeling?”

You shot up, eyes widening at the sight of a man in your doorway. A man whose sleepy voice and disheveled hair threatened to make you melt, but a man who should not be in your doorway, nonetheless; Spencer.

Your brain was quick to supply you with information then, your memory coming back in hazy remnants. You were upset so you…called Spencer for the first time in months. Yikes. He didn’t answer so you turned to a bottle of high end whiskey instead—yikes, again—and passed out on your couch, only to wake up to your ex-boyfriend in your apartment. Cue more sobbing, a pathetic attempt at asking—no, more like begging—him to get back together with you, and that was it. Well, mostly. There was also the promise of discussing your breakdown in the morning. The morning, which was now.

What the fuck.

“Like I’ve been napalmed.” You weren’t sure you were just referring to your raging hangover.

That prompted a raspy kind of chuckle from him and Jesus Christ—you really shouldn’t have called, because it was going to be infinitely harder to watch him leave when he inevitably told you you were sad loser who needed to get a grip and move on—except, he’d be a lot nicer than that, wouldn’t he? Because even if things were over between you, he was still the sweetest person you had ever met and he’d never say anything to intentionally hurt you. Maybe things would be easier if he did. If he wasn’t so sickeningly perfect—if he just insulted you in the way you were certain you deserved, then maybe you’d get over him quicker.

“So, I-ah-uber’d breakfast—“

Your inner turmoil came to a screeching halt at those words.

“You uber’d? You?”

He scoffed, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“The team’s been very into it lately and I always finish my paperwork first so it only makes sense that I—stop laughing! I can uber!”

“Sorry! I just can’t imagine the great Doctor Reid stooping to the levels of a fast food delivery app. Do you ever order to the wrong place?”

“No.” he said, unconvincingly. “Well, only once—“

You were laughing again.

He whined, turning on his heel.

“Just take your aspirin and hurry up!” He grumbled petulantly as he left the room, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

After a quick freshen up and taking the pills placed on your bedside table—as per his request—you padded through to the living room, joining Spencer on the couch.

You gasped delightedly as he pulled out muffins from a brown paper bag. To be more specific, blueberry muffins; your favourite.

“Did you know that blueberries are good for fighting hangovers? They’re rich in vitamin C, which helps break down and metabolise blood alcohol. Muffins too, they—what? Do I have something on my face—“

“No! No, sorry,” You had been caught staring—ogling, more like. “I just missed…that.”

“What? My incessant rambling?” He was joking, but you could hear the insecure twinge in his voice—the one that told him he was too much. Over the course of your relationship, you had showed him that he didn’t have to think like that around you—that he was never too much; he was perfect in your eyes. You hated that he doubted that now.

“Yes, actually.” You tried to keep your tone light, unserious. But there was nothing unserious about just how badly you had missed the man sitting beside you. How you could hear his voice in your mind when you drove late at night, giving you statistics on accidents. Or how on other late nights, you swore you could feel his hands ghosting over your skin—only to find out it was your imagination.

If he could see how truthful you were being, he didn’t acknowledge it, turning his attention back to the coffee table.

“I’ll, um, save you the facts on how beneficial coffee is for hangovers, anyway.” He smiled awkwardly, shuffling a paper coffee cup to where your muffin sat.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, “for the coffee, not the withholding of information—i’m a real fiend for coffee facts…especially when they’re related to curing hangovers!” You said a little too cheerily, trying to alleviate the awkward tension. Although, that only seemed to make it worse.

Spencer just huffed out a little laugh in response, taking the wrapper off of his muffin.

The rest of breakfast went by in silence. Not the comfortable silence you always seemed to have with Spencer—when you were together, you reminded yourself—but a strained one. The kind of silence that occurs when there’s something left unsaid, and you’re just waiting for someone to spit it out.

Spencer broke first.

“So we should probably talk…about last night.”

You finished the remainder of your coffee, setting the empty cup down before turning your whole body to Spencer, tucking your legs up underneath you.

“Right, yeah…”

A beat passed, Spencer’s eyes darting around your face—assessing you.

For someone who had imagined this conversation in your mind countless times, you certainly weren’t saying much.

“I—uh…was very drunk.”

Something in him shifted, like he was putting up imaginary walls.

“So you didn’t mean…any of it?” His brow furrowed, his nose twitching slightly.

“Well no, but I—“ You what? Meant every word you said and more? You couldn’t just say that. You had just got a small part of Spencer back and you didn’t want to ruin it by coming on too strong.

He waited for you to add something, anything, to show him that maybe, maybe there was a tiny part of you that still wanted him as badly as he wanted you. But you didn’t. You just sat there, playing with the fabric of your—his—t-shirt.

He couldn’t do it.

He was so tired of loving people only for them to leave like he had meant nothing to them. Was that all he was to you? Someone you could call when your inhibitions were lowered, looking for comfort? He would do anything to be back in your life again, but he couldn’t be a person of convenience; someone you only wanted when you were lonely.

He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing down the tightness in his throat.

“You were drunk and you got carried away, I get it. I think I better go though—“

“What? No, I—“ You bobbed your mouth like a fish, trying to find the words necessary to keep him here. There were too many of them and yet none at all. None except for three. Three words that you wished you had the courage to say months ago, or weeks ago, or last night. But you never claimed to be a courageous person, and you weren’t about to spill your heart out again only for it to end up in rejection.

Spencer stood, making his way to your bedroom to grab his shoes and coat. He didn’t care about his other clothes, he could buy more—he just needed out before he broke.

You sat dumbfounded on the couch, willing yourself to do something, say something. It was like you were frozen. And you stayed frozen. As Spencer shuffled around your bedroom, as he returned to the living room—completely avoiding your gaze—even as he searched for his keys. You hadn’t realised he had driven over here. He didn’t usually drive unless he had to get somewhere urgently. Were you someone worth seeing urgently to him?

He picked up his keys, heading for your door and only then did you realise how dire the situation was. If he left now you weren’t sure he would ever come back.

“No—wait, Spencer!” You stammered, lunging off the couch to try and stop him. He unlocked the door, moving to leave when you grabbed onto his jacket sleeve.

“Please don’t—I love you!”

“What?”

He turned to face you and you noticed just how wrecked he looked—not at all dissimilar from how you had for the last few months. Had he looked like that the whole time?

You must’ve been staring because when you came back to your senses he was calling your name exasperatedly.

“Do you mean it?”

You were fed up living like this; harbouring so much love for someone and not being able to express it. Even if he didn’t love you back, even if he was over you, you couldn’t go another moment without at least telling him how you felt.

“Yes,” you heaved, “I love you—I never stopped loving you, I was just…” You knitted your brows together, unsure how to phrase what you were feeling.

“I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and that’s…terrifying. I thought the way I felt was wrong, like—when you were on cases, I missed you so much, more than I thought humanely possible and—well, I never wanted to be the kind of girl to base her happiness on another person because that’s how you get hurt. So, I thought the only way to combat that was by…distancing myself. I thought if you weren’t in my life anymore then I’d be able to get a grip and become more independent—“ you huffed, trying to stop the wobble of your voice. “but it didn’t work, because then I was just missing you twice as much, except I couldn’t see you at all—“

“You could’ve answered my messages, we could’ve—“

“So you could return your key? Then things would actually be over. Why do you think I ignored your messages?”

“Why do you think I kept messaging? Angel, I was never going to return that key—at least not willingly—I just wanted to see you, to see if you were doing just as horribly without me as I was without you. You know, I couldn’t even focus on cases—Hotch even suggested I take some time off.”

You frowned, your voice impossibly small. “I’m sorry.”

He took a step toward you, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“Don’t apologise, you were dealing with your emotions in the best way you knew how. I just wish…” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I wish I hadn’t let you go so easily.”

His eyes were shining and—God, you wished you could take it all back. All the pain you had caused him, caused yourself, just because you were too scared to talk about your feelings.

“I wish I hadn’t left.” You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “Y’know, I read a book on astrophysics because it reminded me of you. I didn’t understand any of it but I couldn’t put it down. I still—“ you let out a watery chuckle. “still have it in my bedroom somewhere.”

Spencer smiled, swiping under your eye at a tear that must’ve escaped.

“Yeah? Maybe I can read it to you—help you understand it.”

“I’d like that.”

You didn't know much about celestial bodies or the ultimate fate of the universe, but you could've sworn you'd seen the stars pictured in that book in Spencer’s eyes when he looked at you.

“Say it again.” He mumbled, tilting his head down so that your faces were just inches apart.

“I love you.”

And then his lips were on yours, impossibly soft and everything you had been missing since you had broken up. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed and all you could do was sigh into him because you knew the feeling.

He leaned back all too soon, resting his forehead against yours.

“Well, I should probably go—“ He smirked, but you cut him off before he could continue his teasing.

“You’re not funny.”

He narrowed his eyes, sucking his teeth.

“I don’t know, I—“

You pressed a firm hand on his chest, bunching the cotton of his t-shirt into a fist.

“Stop. Stay—we can have a pyjama day and maybe for dinner, you can show me just how tech savvy you’ve become and uber us some food—“

He rolled his eyes, kicking the door shut before pressing his lips to yours with more force this time.

“Stop talking.”

[just-some-random-blogger]

Go Walk

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: "For the record," I mutter under my breath, "if this was Coachella, I wouldn't have ever driven off with a grandpa."

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Fem!reader, age gap w joel (≥10), chaotic mom!reader, petty!joel, baby girl!ellie, married couple fights™, angst?, fluff, slice of life, typos etc.

A/N: @sloanexx ito na. i snapped. indulge. also i havent proofread this so (: indulge in typos <3 I also cross-posted this on my AO3 <3 so yea lol Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace Technical p2 "Editorial"

The silence beyond the tires whirring on asphalt was cut by two words, "do it."

I ignore her.

"Do it."

I turn over my shoulder and stare at Ellie.

"Do it," she repeats as I look front, "it's just us and skeletons."

I roll my eyes, "ok."

"What? There were, like, 10 skeletons outside."

"You managed to count them all?" I cross my arms and look out from my side of the car.

"I did actually."

I lick my lips, eyes flickering to the driver who could not care less about our conversation.

"Do it."

I huff through my nose.

"Do it."

Joel's eyes flicker to the rear view mirror.

"Do it."

I shift in the front seat of the car.

"Do it," Ellie mutters louder, "Do it. Do it."

"Ellie, I swear to go-" I start.

"Do i-"

"Shut up," Joel grumbles

"..."

The tires scrape against the road. Ellie and I tense where Joel relaxes. His elbow goes on the side of the door, he leans his head in one hand while the other stays on the wheel.

I look to the rearview mirror. Ellie is looking at me. She mouths, "do it."

I press my lips and steal a look at Joel. He looks exasperated. I will get into trouble for this. But then again, when is he not exasperated, and when do I never not get into trouble?

Click. Off goes my seat belt.

Ellie's lips part.

Click. The window to my right goes down.

Ellie grins.

Quickly, I fold my knees and push myself up on my seat. I stick out my head and torso, flailing my hands up and out of the window. I shriek with glee. My hair flies back. Wind catches in my mouth. It's exhilarating.

Ellie cheers from the inside.

Rip. I am ripped back in, my shirt fisted in an iron clasp, my eardrums hammered by curses and growls laced with a Southern drawl, my eyes widened even through my squint of discomfort.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? WHY ARE YOU LETTING YOURSELF GET SUCKERED BY 12-YEAR-OLD?"

"I'M NOT TWEL-"

"It was my idea."

"That's what she wants you to think!"

"Hey!"

"Joel--" I huff.

He pulls away, closes the windows from the main panel, then grips both hands on the steering wheel.

"I was talking to her about going to Coachella," I trail off.

Joel scoffs, shaking his head, then turning back to me to give a gnarly stank eye, "does this fucking look like Coachella to you?"

I turn away from him and lick my teeth, "obviously it doesn't."

"Come on, Joel, she was just feeling sentimental," Ellie says, "it's nice not to be so--"

"Well, she better stop being sentimental real soon or it's going to get us all killed."

"Alright," I pinch my fingers together, "I'm sorry I did it, okay. But I already did it, there's no point in-"

"No!" Joel snaps, turning to me for a second, "you don't get to say that to me after pulling a stunt like that!"

"Joel, it's fine. I won't do it again-"

"No, it's not fine! What if someone heard us and comes-"

"No one's going to foll-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

"Ohemgee is that a truck following after-"

"Ellie," Joel growls, "I swear to g-"

"EXACTLY!" Ellie squeals, "NO ONE'S HERE!"

"I'm trying to keep you morons alive and you're purposefully making it harder!" Joel hisses.

I suck in a breath and place my hand on his arm, "Joel. Ok. I know-"

"It's not a big deal!" Ellie crosses her arms and leans back, "we're in the middle of nowhere for miles. You said it yourself."

"Ellie," I scold.

"Well," Joel huffs as he catches sight of our destination, "it will become a big deal once something bad happens, won't it?"

I recoil at his actions and huff. Ellie and I make eye contact, then I roll my eyes. I turn to the window, "for the record," I mutter under my breath, "if this was Coachella, I wouldn't have ever driven off with a grandpa."

Ellie slaps her hands on her mouth.

The tires skid. I shoot forward, held back only by the seatbelt I didn't even realize was put back on me. The engine hums and groans. Joel's knuckles turn white.

I turn to him. He grinds his teeth. My eyes widen as I turn to Ellie. We both chew our lips.

Joel slaps his hands on his lap as he turns to me, "by all means then," he motions, "feel free to walk."

Ellie's jaw slacks as she looks between us.

"What?" my upper lip curls.

Joel unlocks the door from the main control, "you can go scream at a tree and reminisce about Coachella outside the car."

I scoff and make a face of disbelief, "you want me to get out?"

Joel's face hardens. He doesn't respond though.

I trace my bottom lip with my tongue as I nod my head, "okay then."

"No don't lea- why are you getting out!" Ellie cries.

Thump. The door closes.

Skid. The tires grind against the asphalt as Joel drives off and Ellie twists to look at me from the backseat. Her eyes are wide, "YOU'RE ACTUALLY LEAVING HER."

"I gave her a choice," Joel notes bitterly.

"YOU ASKED HER TO LEAVE!" Ellie snaps.

"I said she was free to walk, and she chose to walk!" Joel counters.

Ellie turns back front and tugs at Joel's arm, "STOP DRIVING!"

Joel does not budge nor respond.

"JOEL!"

"She's a big girl," he quips, "all high and mighty with her attitude," he grumbles softly then raises his voice, "it'd do her good to walk back to base."

"You're an asshole!" Ellie says, crossing her arms.

Joel does not respond. His eyes flicker to the rear view mirror. He lets out a breath.

The moment they arrive and Joel parks, Ellie bursts out the door and begins to walk off.

"Hey!" Joel calls as he gets out of the car, "where do you think you're going?"

"To wait for her," she eyes him, "asshole."

"No," Joel marches to her and grabs her arm, "you're not going to walk to he-"

"I'm not going to walk to her!" Ellie snaps, pulling out of Joel's grip, "I'm just going to wait for her by the lamppost!"

Joel's attention darts to the broken, mossy lamppost, then to the barely visible figure, slowly inching forward from a distance. He turns back to Ellie then turns to the car, "fine. Help me put the things inside first."

"I'll do it la-"

"You'll do it now," Joel commands as he, himself, begins to unpack the supplies they managed to get.

Ellie grumbles and begrudgingly follows, "asshole."

By the time I arrive to our base, I smile at Ellie who dashes over to me and gives me a hug.

I can't help but laugh at her as I hug her back, "you're acting like I came back home from war."

"Joel's an asshole for leaving you," Ellie says against our embrace.

We pull away. I brush her baby hair back as she hooks her arm around my waist. I ask, "did you tell him that?"

"I also gave him the finger," Ellie says to me as she does the gesture.

"You shouldn't have done that," I drape my arm on her shoulders as we walk back, "he'll be all sulky about it."

"He deserved it," she retorts, "what if something did happen?"

I shake my head, "Ellie."

"No- I know... but what if-"

"Joel wouldn't have left me if he wasn't sure I'd be fine," I gesture to myself, "and I am. Call him a caring douchebag."

Ellie sighs, "he's so dramatic."

I let out a high pitched sound.

She snorts as she kicks a rock and then turns back to me, "nah, you're so right. You definitely are the dramatic one between the three of us."

"Hey," I raise a brow at her as I crush her into me, "you're the one that complains about doing the dishes."

"Well-"

"As if you weren't the one that eats the most."

"Hey, I'm a growing child!" she pouts, "and I, for one, think that I should only wash the dishes that he use."

I hum, "maybe you should walk then, because you can't drive."

"That's so not the same thing."

I shake my head and narrow my eyes, "it is, actually."

We make it inside the abandoned house we had been staying at and immediately, I look around for Joel.

"He's fixing the car," she begins to mime, "and doing the thing with the tube and the stick and-"

I raise a hand, "I got it."

"I personally think he's making an excuse so that he wouldn't have to talk to you right now," Ellie says as we head to the kitchen.

I smirk at her, "you reckon he'll make me sleep on the floor?"

Ellie laughs, "geez, I hope he doesn't. It's fucking freezing."

We begin to unpack some of the food we got.

"He's be a mega-asshole if he did," she makes a half-amused face.

I scrunch up my nose and nod.

"But if he does, I'll let you sleep with me, even though your a blanket hoarder."

I raise my hands up, "it's not like I can control that."

"You also have an iron grip, so I can't even pull it back on me," she tilts her head.

"Again," I open a can of beans, "I can't control that."

"You also move a lot when you sleep."

"Can't contro-"

"I change my mind," Ellie makes a face, "you should just get on your knees and beg..." she raises a finger, "or whatever it is you do when you're on your knees."

I release a breath.

She raises her hands and pulls her head back, "hey, two consenting adults."

"Okay," I quickly change the subject, "you know, I was thinking of fainting halfway through the walk, but then I figured I'd freeze to death before Joel came for me. Also he'd use it against me if I ever use the fact I used to jog a lot before as a reason to bring me on his 'solo' runs."

Ellie thinks for a moment, "that could work though, the fainting."

I snort, "what, should I faint just as he walks in the room?"

I dramatically throw my head back and place the back of my hand on my forehead, "he'd freak if I did."

Ellie and I giggle.

"If you faint, I'll put your body in the dumpster," Joel says as he walks in, pushing past me to something from the counter, then walks back.

Ellie and I purse our lips tightly as we watch him leave the room.

Once he's gone, Ellie and I begin to giggle again. She mutters, "asshole."

Later that night, after tucking Ellie in and kissing her good night, I went outside where Joel was still working on the car.

I shudder at the cold and wrap my arms around myself, "the jig is up, it's time to go to bed."

"I'm almost done," Joel mutters.

I roll my eyes, spotting the food I gave him, stagnant and cold in the place I put it hours ago, "you said that already."

Joel wipes his hand on the back of his pants then grunts. He circles from the front of the car to the driver's seat and starts the engine.

I breathe in deeply and huff, "you want some help?"

The car starts, then abruptly stops. Joel then closes the door and shoves something in his pocket, "I'm done." He walks to the open hood and bangs it close. He grabs his plate of food and begins eating as he walks past me.

I huff once more as I trail off after him.

"I made some tea," I mutter, "it's probably an piss cold now but-"

"Piss isn't cold," Joel retorts with a mouthfull.

I rub my eye.

We reach the kitchen, and by that time, Joel finished half of his plate. I give him a look as I watch him eat, "fucking hell, Joel, calm down. No one's going to take that from you."

"It tastes shit," he mumbles.

"Yeah," I cross my arms, "it was bearable when it was hot."

Joel shoves some more food in his mouth. I grunt, "and you didn't even wash your hands!" I chastise, walking over to him to push him to the sink.

Joel grunts as he moves to the sink against his will. He chews with full cheeks as he washes his hand in the miracle sink that had water.

He swallows before he mutters, "motor oil poisoning is the least of your problems, babe."

"Oh, yeah," I cock my head to the side as I hand him box of soap, "seems like it's at the top of your list, actually."

Joel finishes washing his hands before he averts his attention back to his food and mutters, "you're at the top of my list."

I watch as he stuffs his face again then walk up to him to pat his shoulder, "consider me flattered, big boy."

Before I could walk off, I am held back by my arm. I turn to Joel. His chewing slows. He releases his hold on me and leans on his palms, "stay."

I turn back to him and wrap my arms around myself.

Joel finishes the last of his food, thankfully, at a slightly slower pace.

I rub my arms as the cold nips at me.

"You want my jacket?"

I shake my head.

Joel adjusts the collar of his jacket, "you sure?"

"What is this, a romcom?"

Joel shrugs, "you tell me, you're the writer."

I lean my hip on the counter as I gesture at him, "this seems more like an apocalypse to me."

"Huh," he finishes the last of his food, "I wouldn't have guessed."

I purse my lips into a soft smile as Joel begins to wash his plate, "a dash of horror... maybe some farce."

The sound of water fills the beat of silence.

"Is Ellie asleep?"

I grunt, "I kissed her goodnight cause you were still brooding."

He doesn't respond. Joel finishes washing his plate. He puts it away and wipes his hands on a towel. He and I look at each other in silence.

Joel puts the towel down then mimics my stance. He leans back on the sink. I rub my arms. He crosses his.

I roll my shoulders back, "so."

"So," he repeats.

"Is this your way of saying you're still mad at me?"

"I'm mad at you?" Joel tilts his head.

"I don't know, are you?"

"Am I?"

"Joel."

"Would I want to stare at you if I were mad at you?"

I knit my brows, "is that what's happening?"

He looks at me.

"You're looking at me cos I'm hot?" I raise my brows and motion, "I haven't showered in days."

"Neither have I."

"Trust me, I can tell."

A moment passes. I cross my arms, "Joel-"

"Fine," he sighs, "I'm still annoyed at what you did."

"Okay. Which one?" I pucker my lips in thought, "the screaming or the old man joke."

"What do you think?" Joel deadpans, crossing his arms.

I walk up toward him and grab my chin in fake thought, "hmmmm, the second one."

I stop when I am directly in front of him and lean close to his face, "I don't actually think you're a grandpa."

He blinks.

I chuckle and reach out to his face. I rub his cheeks with my thumb as I kiss him. For a moment, I can feel him melt against me. I feel it in how he sighs and leans closer. When he doesn't reach out for me, I pull away and huff at his furrowed brows. I will the tension away as I stroke them.

He really wasn't about to let this go.

Joe stands up straight only to lean his forehead against mine, "scream like that again, I'll make you scream then gag you."

With that, he pulls away and walks off. I just stand there.

"Come on," he calls, "I'm stuck with you tonight since Ellie doesn't want you sleeping next to her."

[vodika-vibes]

A Marriage Of Convenience

Summary: You and Kix have been friends for years, since near the start of the war to be more precise. So, when you ask him to marry you, in the hopes that a legal wedding would finally give him and his brothers the rights that they deserve, he jumped at the chance. It worked. And now, four years later, with the war over, you’re still happily married to your best friend.

Pairing: Clone Medic Kix x F!Reader

Word Count: 1298

Warnings: Some miscommunication

Tagging: @bad4amficideas @justiceandwar98 @Mira-Loves-Star-Wars @tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar @trixie2023 @kimiheartblade @padawancat97 @falconfeather23435

@etod @n0vqni

A/N: So this whole idea was born from the many asks I got on Saturday about this very topic. Also, I'm feeling much better, it seems like my fever finally broke late last night. Maybe. I haven't actually checked, lol.

Kix wakes slowly, taking his time to fight off the claws of sleep that want to drag him back into dreamland.

Not that there’s any reason for him to be awake, he’s not a soldier anymore and the clinic is closed today, so he could sleep in if he wanted to. But, even now, years after the war sleeping in feels wrong to him. 

So he lays in bed and blinks hazily at the ceiling, waiting to wake up enough that he’s able to roll over and look at his comm to make sure none of his brothers did something stupid last night.

Kix is about to roll out of bed, intent on starting his normal routine— an hour-long run, and then showering before making breakfast— when he hears a groan from next to him. 

His riduur is slowly waking up, and he can’t stop the smile that crosses his face at the sight of her lying there. Her hair is a mess, sticking up in random directions, and curling into her face. 

She blinks at him blearily, “Kix?”

“Good morning, riduur,” He sits up and leans over to brush a curl off her face, only for it to spring right back into place, and he has to muffle his laughter. “Your hair has taken on a life of its own.”

“S’alright,” She mumbles, “It does that sometimes.” She yawns widely, and Kix feels his heart clench. She really is unfairly adorable. Good thing he’s already locked her down and he doesn’t have to worry about anyone stealing her from him.

“You can go back to sleep, riduur,” Kix says lightly as he lightly pushes her hair out of her face so he can see her pretty eyes, “It’s early.”

“You’re awake,” She accuses as she rubs her cheek against his hand.

“I have a thing about sleeping in,” Kix replies, “You know this, cyar’ika.”

She squints at him, “Someday, I’m going to make one of your brothers tell me what those words mean,”

He leans in as if to share a secret, “They’ll never tell you because I’m scarier than you are.”

She pouts at him, and it’s almost enough to make him want to tell her what riduur and cyar’ika and cyare mean. Almost.

“Kix,” She whines his name and it takes all of his willpower to keep breathing, “We should sleep some more.”

“Cyare,” He teases her, “I’m going to go for a run.”

Somehow, her pout becomes more pronounced, “But sleep.”

“I’m not stopping you from sleeping in, cyar’ika.” Kix reassures, “And I’m certainly not going to force you to go on a run with me.”

“Good. If you did I’d ask for a divorce.”

“Ouch.” Kix replies with a laugh, “No need to worry, riduur, I know you’re allergic to running.”

“I’m only going to run if someone is chasing me,” She yawns again and buries her face in her pillow, her gaze locked on his face.

“Good to know.” Kix watches her watching him, and he raises a single brow, “Why are you staring?”

She grins at him and sits up suddenly, flinging her arms around his neck and knocking him back onto the bed.

It’s so surprising that a startled laugh falls from him, “Riduur—”

She buries her face in his neck and drapes one of her legs across his hips, her arms tightening around him, “There. Now we sleep.” Her breath is warm against his neck and Kix shivers, unable to help himself.

Slowly his arms wrap around her, one of his hands tangling in her hair, while the other slowly strokes her back, “Someone’s clingy this morning.” He murmurs in her ear.

“I’m clingy every morning,” She replies as she rubs her nose against his neck, “You just normally get up before I can be clingy.”

Kix hums thoughtfully and then shifts his head so that his nose is pressed into her hair. She smells citrusy, a mix of her shampoo, body wash, and the lotion she prefers. It’s a scent that he’s come to associate with her and with safety.

It’s a scent he’s come to associate with love. His love for her, to be more specific.

Kix doesn’t say anything for a moment, and he’s almost positive that she’s fallen back to sleep while half lying on him, until her fingers curl into the thin material of the shirt he wears to bed.

“What’s up, cyare?” Kix asks as he glances down to try and see her face.

She shifts so that her face isn’t buried in his neck, and the expression on her face isn’t one he’s ever seen before. It’s soft and warm and makes goosebumps spread across his entire body.

“Kix,” His name is a sigh on her lips and his arms tighten around her, pulling a startled squeak from her. A smile spreads across her face and she shifts so she’s able to press her hand against his cheek.

Kix closes his eyes and leans into her touch.

“I’ve been thinking,” She murmurs.

“About?” She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and Kix opens his eyes to look at her, her expression has become slightly wistful as she gazes up at him, “Cyare?”

“This whole thing started as a way to get you all rights,” She murmurs, “And it worked. You’re all legal citizens of the Republic.” She pauses her thumb lightly trailing against his jaw, “If…if you wanted a divorce,” She says quietly, “So you can find someone you actually love—”

“Stop.” Kix interrupts and she immediately falls silent. He slowly moves his hands to cup her face, “I want you. Only you.”

She blinks at him, and then she huffs, “You don’t love me, Kix—”

“Says who?”

She blinks at him dumbly, “What?”

“Who says I don’t love you?”

“...General Skywalker said that the marriage was—”

“I haven’t spoken to Skywalker since the war ended. How would he know?” Kix points out.

She blinks at him again.

Kix sighs, “Listen to me, riduur. Are you listening?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you. I’ve loved you for ages. And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. I’m happy with how we are. I absolutely do not want a divorce.”

“...you don’t?”

“No, I don’t.”

She shifts slightly so that she’s lying on top of him, her gaze scanning his face as if trying to determine if he’s lying to her or not. And then she releases a soft sigh and she leans in to press her forehead against his, “You love me?”

Kix smiles at her, “You single-handedly won rights for me and my brothers. How could I not love you?”

“Not single-handedly.”

“Close enough.” He counters dismissively.

A soft laugh falls from her lips, and Kix can’t help the small grin that crosses his face at the sound. 

And then, quickly, she presses her lips against his.

It’s the first time they’ve kissed since their wedding day and Kix immediately leans into the kiss, allowing her to set the pace. And when she breaks the kiss, she looks flustered and she won’t meet his gaze.

It takes him a few moments to reset his brain and his grin is broad, “Does this mean that all talks of divorce are off the table?”

She shifts and presses her face against his throat, but he feels her nod.

“Good.” Kix tightens his arms around her and adjusts her so that she’s lying on the bed again. “I suppose I little early morning cuddling would be good for us.”

She peeks up at him, a small grin playing on her lips.

Later he’ll comm Rex and get him to find out what, exactly, Skywalker said to his perfect riduur, but for now, she deserves all of his attention. And she’s going to get it.

[worldlxvlys]

yes i’m so sorry i should’ve been more specific but i need what happens when they go inside lol😭 (dwb!chris pt 16)

every word

dwb! chris x reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, suggestive but no actual smut

a/n: first off you’re all good, no need to apologize i was just confused lmao

also, idk if you wanted smut or not but this one felt like it needed to be more on the fluffier side. if you want another part with smut, i can do that just lmk

hope you like :)

here’s part one (dwb! chris pt 16), if you haven’t make sure to read it first !!

————-

we both went inside, closing the door behind us.

“hmmm, you know the most effective way to warm up? “ chris said, a smirk growing on his face.

“how?” i squinted my eyes at him.

“a hot shower” he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“hmm sounds good. so me first, or you?” i asked, feigning innocence.

he gave me a deadpanned look. “you’re not serious”

“are you trying to ask me something, chris?” i asked wanting to hear him say it.

“can we shower together?” he asked.

“hmmm, i suppose” i said, pretending to think about it first.

“ok but first, i gotta do something” he said pulling out his phone.

my eyebrows furrowed as i watched him.

“ok?”

i watched as the dial tone rang while he put the phone on speaker.

“hello?” a woman’s voice picked up.

“hey, it’s chris”

“hey! yeah i know i saved your num-“ before she could even finish he cut her off.

“yeah, cool, listen i just wanted to make one thing clear. you’re my supplier and that’s it”

his supplier. the supplier.

“so if you thought this was anything more you’re wrong. i have a girlfriend, and she is the only girl in the world for me. so the flirting and touching needs to stop”

there was a pause.

“oh! but chris-“

but? nah fuck this bitch.

i cut her off “but nothing, he told you he’s taken. is there a problem? do i need to send you a sex tape or something for you to get the memo?

chris’s eyes widen, his mouth open and closing like a fish’s.

“um, no no. sorry”

“yeah you will be if you ever fucking touch him again”

“uh, ok. sorry “

“stop apologizing. you didn’t know, but now you do”

“ok…well, bye”

with that i hung up. chris just stared at me with wide eyes.

we both looked at each other before bursting out laughing.

“your supplier’s a pussy” i said gasping for air.

“she’s normally not like that, but i don’t blame her. you sounded like you were genuinely gonna fuck her up”

we both continued to laugh.

“thank you for calling her, i didn’t think you were actually going to” i said as he drew circles onto my hips with his thumbs.

“of course, baby. i didn’t just say that stuff to gain your forgiveness. i meant every word” he said, staring deep into my eyes.

“every. word.” he said before leaning in, pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

when we broke away he spoke, “hey, do you wanna do a bath instead of a shower?”

“um yeah, sure. how come ?” i asked.

“baths are more romantic” he smiled as he cupped my jaw.

“plus shower sex can be dangerous” he added.

i rose my eyebrows, “um, who said anything about sex ?”

“well how else would we make a tape to send her ?” he asked.

my eyes widen, “you’re fucking crazy” i said, my face breaking out into a grin.

“it was your idea, ma”

———————

hope you liked it <333

dwb! masterlist

main masterlist

tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @frankeelovesthesturnio @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Shh! Pt. 2

Summary: The hangovers are very real for Dean and Y/N. Will they notice the artwork on the fridge?

Pairing/Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warnings: None. This second part is pretty much all fluff too.

Word Count: 2,693 (This part was a bit longer than the first. Sorry!)

A/C: Okay, so the first part of Shh! was actually just supposed to be a one shot, fic request. But I got a fair few requests for a sequel about the morning after, and I wanted to know what happened too. So, here it is. Lol! I had a lot of fun writing the two parts to this little story. Hope you have fun reading them. ❤️

It was requested that I tag @arcannaa if I made a second part. So, here ya go, lovely. Let me know if you'd like to be added to one of the tag lists linked below. ❤️

Part 1 is here || Main Master List || Tag Lists

The Next Morning:

Dean's groan was deep and long and ended in one word. “Fuck.”

“Shh…” Y/N held her head in her hands as she sat up. “Why are you so loud?” She asked, and her voice sounded as dry and cracked as the Sahara. 

“No, you're so loud.” Was Dean's witty rejoinder as he sat up beside her.

They both turned their heads to look at each other and groaned again. Y/N looked around the room and her brow creased with confusion.

“Why am I here?”

Dean grunted. “I'm a little too hungover for an existential crisis.”

Y/N pursed her lips, side eyeing him. “No, idiot. I mean why am I here in your bed? Why aren't I in my own bed?”

Dean rubbed his hand down his face. “Well, your bed is about 2 hours away, which probably explains the sleepover.”

Y/N hummed her agreement and pointed at him, conceding the point. “Yeah, I guess neither of us was in the best shape to drive.” She paused and then scowled. “We didn't, right? I mean, we didn’t drive home.”

She squinted at Dean who was shaking his head. “Nooo…” His tone said that was impossible, but then he tilted his head. “Right? There’s no way we would have been that stupid.”

Y/N shook her head and then stopped when the room started spinning. She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “No, we must have taken a cab. We must have.”

It was silent while both of them tried desperately to remember something from the night before.

Dean sat up straight. “Rainbow Connection!” He said suddenly.

Y/N turned to look at him again and one eye brow was raised. “Are you stroking out?”

Dean waved at her. “No, the cab. I remember we took a cab cause I remember being in it and singing ‘Rainbow Connection’.”  He closed his eyes. “I really don’t remember why though.”

Y/N gasped softly, remembering something. “Rambeau.” 

Dean opened his eyes to look at her and his expression was all confusion. “Uh…Rocky II. We just naming Stallone movies?”

Y/N made a sound of disgust. “No, B - E - A - U, Rambeau, not Rambo.” When Dean still just stared at her blankly, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “It was the driver’s name, remember. But you thought he -”

“ - said Rainbow!” Dean finished, snapping his fingers. “Right! That’s when we started singing it.” He nodded, happy with their mental sleuthing, and then he shook his head.

“Man, I hope we gave him a big tip.”

Y/N chuckled and then took a big breath. “K, I need coffee, stat. Like a vat of coffee, like, this is a  hook-it-to-my-veins kinda situation.”

Dean grunted his agreement and they both pushed themselves up from the bed with a painful groan. Dean grabbed Y/N’s wrist as they were leaving the room. “Wait, do you remember…did we talk to Sam last night?”

Y/N just shrugged. “Dude, I have no idea.”

“Huh…I feel like we did.” Dean said quietly as he padded towards the kitchen with Y/N trailing just behind him.

When they got to the kitchen Y/N collapsed onto one of the seats at the table and cradled her head in her hands.

Dean walked to the coffee maker and his face lit up. 

“Oh, thank god for a little brother who gets up at the butt crack of dawn to go running to nowhere in particular. He made the coffee already!” He grabbed two cups and brought them and the pot to the table. 

Y/N inhaled deeply, pulling the aroma of the coffee into her lungs. “Do you have cream?”

Dean made a face. “Cream? God no; this is a black coffee household, Y/N. You should know this.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and smiled. “Yes, of course. Only manly black coffee for the Winchesters. How foolish of me.”

Dean shot her a grin and nodded in the direction of the fridge. “Might be some milk in the fridge.”

Y/N groaned again as she dragged herself up and stumbled blindly towards the fridge. She looked back at Dean as she pulled open the door. “I swear to God it feels like my muscles are about two minutes away from seizing up all together.”

Dean chuckled as Y/N looked into the fridge and shook her head. “There is nothing resembling milk in this fridge.”

“In the back?”

“Dean, there is no ‘back’ to this fridge. You’ve got three beers and leftover pizza that’s harder than the cardboard box it’s in.” She said as she peered inside. As Dean began rummaging around at the coffee station, she picked up a piece of the pizza and banged the crust against the box.

“That’s just sad.” She muttered.

“Score!” Dean called out just as Y/N closed the fridge door. “Found something called Coffee Whitener! Not CoffeeMate, it’s literally just called coffee whitener.”

“Uh…Dean?”

Dean’s face fell into a frown. “Actually, I don’t know how old this is.”

“Dean.”

“Might be from the fifties.” Dean mumbled. “Cause for the life of me I can’t remember Sam or I ever buying -”

“Dean!” Y/N yelled.

Dean grimaced as her shout made his head pound. “What? Jesus, why are you yelling?”

Y/N was pointing at the fridge door. “What the fuck is this?”

Dean set down the coffee whitener and walked over. “What the fuck is what?”

Y/N just kept pointing as Dean came up beside her to see two wrinkled up pieces of paper stuck to the fridge.

As he read the words he felt his heart clench. He read both letters twice.

He looked at Y/N slowly and couldn’t read what her expression was saying. He shook his head. “I - I mean, I dunno. Where did they come from?”

Y/N shrugged. “I don't know, but that’s my handwriting and…that’s yours. Do you…I mean, do you remember writing them?”

Dean shook his head. “No. I don’t remember. But, I mean…it must have…I mean, it had to be some kind of joke, right? Like we were messing around? Just some kind of drunken joke?”

Y/N was looking away from him, but he shrugged again. “I mean, don’t you think?”

She nodded and her face was scrunched up when she looked at him. “Had to be, right?”

He felt his heart plummet even as he nodded. “Right?”

“Yeah, we were just being stupid, fucking around.” She concluded quietly.

He nodded again. “Yeah.”

They were quiet for a minute before Y/N pointed towards the table. “So, did you say something about 1950’s coffee whitener?”

Dean forced a chuckle. “Yeah, come try it out, if you dare.”

They sat at the table and Dean poured them both coffee. In the end, Y/N just took a bit of sugar in hers, not willing to be a guinea pig for the decades old, mostly chemicals coffee whitener. 

Silence reigned between them, neither of them able to push aside the words in the letters. Finally, Y/N couldn’t take the awkwardness and, pushing her coffee cup aside, she stood up.

“I should probably get going. I gotta shower and change and, you know, try to feel like a human again.” She said with a stilted laugh.

Dean nodded. “Yeah for sure. I’ll drive you.”

Y/N waved him down as he started to stand. “No, no. Don’t worry about it. I’ll just take the bus. There’s one that comes at 11:00. I’ve taken it before.”

Dean frowned. “Why the hell would you take the bus when I can just drive you.”

Y/N tucked her hair behind her ears nervously. She knew she wouldn't survive a two hour car ride, sitting so close to him but knowing she was never going to get any closer.

...it had to be some kind of joke, right? Dean's dismissive voice echoed in her mind.

So, she shook her head at him. “No, it’s okay. This way you can just rest and feel better. I like the bus. You know, I just put my music on and chill the whole way.”

“Right.” Dean said sardonically, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. “Cause you know, if I drove you, we’d definitely be listening to an audio book about the sixteenth century Christian Reformation. No music in my car.”

Y/N laughed nervously. “No, I know…but…”

Dean just nodded again. “Yeah, okay. Well, have a good two hour bus ride, I guess.”

Y/N smiled. “I will. I’ll uh…I’ll call you.”

“M’kay.”

Y/N cleared her throat. “See ya.” She said with another plastered-on-smile as she left the kitchen.

“Yeah, see ya.” Dean answered quietly.

About an hour later Dean was still sitting at the kitchen table nursing an ice cold black coffee when he heard the bunker door slam. A minute later Sam walked into the kitchen in his running clothes, sweating and still breathing deeply. 

He went to the sink to fill up his water bottle as he looked back at Dean with a smirk. “You look ill.” Dean just grunted and Sam chuckled as he took a sip of water. “Where’s Y/N?” He asked.

“Went home.” Dean answered shortly.

Sam frowned looking towards the fridge where the letters still hung.  “Didn’t you guys see the letters?”

Dean’s head came up quickly and he stared at Sam. “What do you mean? Why do you know about them?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Who the hell do you think hung them up there?”

Dean shook his head, anger in his expression. “Why the fuck would you do something like that? Y/N saw them and freaked.”

“What?”

“I’m telling you. She saw what I wrote and couldn’t get out of here fast enough. Wouldn’t even take a ride home.” Dean said sullenly.

Sam set his water bottle down on the island, hard. “Oh my god!” He growled. “I might actually strangle you both.” When Dean just continued to frown at him, Sam shook his head. “Didn’t you each read the other’s letter? You guys wrote essentially the same thing to each other. Because you’re both so into each other. Jesus Christ.”

He pushed two hands through his damp hair. “I figured once you both saw it written out right in front of you, you’d realize that you’re both a couple of dumbasses!”

Dean shook his head. “No, she didn’t mean what she wrote. She thought it was some kind of drunken joke.”

Sam scowled. “She told you it was just a joke? She remembered writing her letter?”

“No, but I asked if she thought it was a joke and she said yeah, it had to be. Had to be because she has no interest in me like that.”

“Did she actually say that?” Sam asked, speaking over the end of Dean’s sentence, “Or did she just go along with you when you suggested it was a joke, because that’s what she thought you thought?” 

When Dean didn’t answer Sam growled again in frustration. “For fuck’s sake this is ridiculous. I’m just gonna spell it out for you.” He walked over to stand in front of Dean at the table. “Y/N is madly in love with you.”

Dean scoffed, but Sam sliced his hand through the air. “No, shut up. She is in love with you and you are in love with her, and if you asked one single other person who knows you both, they’ll tell you the exact same thing. Because it is glaringly, abundantly, stupidly obvious, you dumbass. Now go find her at the station, tell her the truth and watch how quickly she tells you she feels the same.”

Dean was frowning. “That's not gonna happen.” But he could feel a spark of hope at his brother’s certainty.

Sam just glared. 

He threw up his hands. “Okay, I’ll go.” He stood up and walked towards the door, stopping on the top step to look back at Sam. “But when she rips my heart out and I lose my best friend, you’re gonna be the one who has to deal with me.”

Sam rolled his eyes and pointed. “Go.”

All the way to the bus station, Dean was running through scenarios in his mind. As he parked outside, his watch said 10:50; was she already gonna be on the bus? Would it be like one of those horrible romcom things, where he had to chase her down through the crowd and then confess his love on a bus full of people. And if he did that, was Sam right? Would she love him back, or was it going to end up as - less funny romcom, more tragic farce? 

He had the scenario half imagined in his head, but when he walked through the doors he was reminded that the Lebanon bus station was actually quite small so, no running from terminal to terminal looking for her. There were only two bus stalls outside to begin with, but also, she was sitting calmly on a bench just across from the door.

He walked towards her and her eyes got wide.

Fuck, I can’t do this. Why the fuck am I doing this? Dean thought over and over.

He stopped in front of her and she looked up at him, her face puzzled. “Dean? What are you doing here?”

He jammed his hands into his jacket pockets and rocked up on to the balls of his feet; he shrugged. “I don’t know, I just thought…I really wanna give you a ride home.”

Y/N frowned and lifted a hand towards the small ticket office. “I already bought my ticket.”

“Well, get a refund.”

“Why do you want to drive me home so badly?” Y/N asked loudly, frustration tinting her words.

“Why don’t you want me to?” Dean answered even louder.

Y/N let out a huff of air. “I don’t want you to not…I don’t not want…I want not t -” She broke off with a cry of frustration. “Ugh!!”

She looked up at him and her gaze was confused and questioning. “Dean, what is going on here?”

Dean shuffled from foot to foot for a minute, until Y/N started to speak again and he cut her off.

“The letter was true.”

He spoke quietly and he wondered if she’d heard him. He wasn’t sure he’d have the courage to say it again; as it was, he was staring at the ground, his stomach in knots.

“What?”

He shook his head and finally just decided it was all or nothing.

“My letter. What I wrote. It was true. I mean, it was drunken idiocy, but…” He raised his head and looked at her. “It was true.”

“Really?” 

He wasn’t sure, but he thought he caught relief in her voice, so he smiled at her and gave a resigned nod. 

“Yep. You are my good day.” He said, paraphrasing his letter. “I want kisses from you.” He paused a beat. “And also sex.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Sorry.”

Y/N’s smile was bright and beautiful as she leapt up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank god.” She bit her bottom lip and then quoted her letter. “I hope you will kiss me. All the time.”

Dean felt like his chest might actually burst from happiness as he grasped her waist and pulled her close. 

“I can do that.”

He pulled her tight against him, capturing her lips in a kiss that he’d waited for for a very long time. 

Y/N felt lightheaded with joy and with the headiness of Dean’s kiss. His lips were soft and searching as they pressed tightly to hers, and she opened to him immediately, reveling in the deep groan that tumbled out of him as he sank his tongue deep into her mouth. 

They clung to each other, endlessly kissing, sharing breath and stealing each other's moans. Neither of them were one hundred percent sure they weren’t just in a very vivid dream, but both of them were determined that if it was a dream, they didn’t want to wake up. 

The loudspeaker came on announcing that Y/N’s bus was boarding, but neither of them heard it, and neither of them cared. The ticket agent who’d sold her the ticket called out to her.

“Miss, your bus is leav-”

But her coworker interrupted her. “Shh! Are you crazy? Do you see the man kissing her? Trust me she does NOT want to be disturbed.”

She wasn't wrong.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @alwaystiredandconfused @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma @luvr4miya

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Hi, are your requests open? If not, ignore this please, but I would really, really like a chishiya x reader fluff where readers love language is "nah I'll do it for you" but not like grand gestures, just random things. Kinda like the peeling an orange thing, or going downstairs to get a snack or running a bath after a hard day. But like, it goes both ways, reader doing stuff for chishiya and vice versa. Also, could it be post borderlands where they remember everything? Feel free to change anything or don't do it at all, I wouldn't mind. Also, I haven't ever actually requested with my real username, so I don't know if it would notify me if you post with this, but can you @ me? Bye and I really enjoy your writing!!!

I'll Do It!

requested?: yes pairing(s): shuntarō chishiya x gn!reader genre: fluff, angst if you squint warning(s): mentions of nightmares, fluff, mentions of sleeping pills, mentions of very poor mental health, chishiya being sweet towards reader (shock horror gasp), mentions of trouble sleeping, mentions of eating disorder summary: 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 word count: 1k a/n: ofc you can! my requests are practically always open and i do try my hardest to get through them, so sorry if this is late lol. also, think this is so cute and you have a great idea. just to add, can somone request something for bang chan please lmao, i wanna write for him but all my ideas are literally gone lmao. make sure to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! (P.s so sorry this took a while, ive been busy recently lol) tags: @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer

you and chishiya did absolutely everything for eachother. you both remembered the borderlands, which was a downside for the both of you, but you did both get over it. when chishiya went back to work, a lot changed.

it was almost as though he was never around, and he either worked so late that you were already asleep, or he would just crash when he got home. but of course, on the rare occasions he was working from home, you would bring him snacks and keep him company while he did so.

you had am office in your house that you had both decorated with comfy sofas, so you would sit and scroll through your phone while he worked, occasionally getting up to get a snack or a drink and bringing something back for him. you would also stand behind him sometimes and ask what he was doing, resulting in you being confused with the big fancy doctor words your boyfriend used in order to explain, so you ended up just sitting back down and pretending to understand (which he knew you wouldn't, and just chuckled anyways).

of course, you worked aswell, which also resulted in chishiya doing things for you. your work was mainly based at home, but you would have to go out and about to the office and do stuff sometimes. if it was a particularly stressful day, chishiya would run you a bath for after you finished work, and if you were working in the seperate office you had in your home, he would peep his head around the door and ask if you needed anything. if chishiya knew that you hadn't eaten anything yet, and you had said no to him asking if you needed anything, he would go get you a snack nontheless.

even though you both led very busy lives with your work, you also made time to cuddle in bed on a night, which took chishiya a while to get used to, but it was definately worth it.

there also lead to a problem with sleeping. sometimes one of you would have a nightmare and unintentionally wake the other, resulting in the other holding the other in their arms while the other calmed down and went back to sleep. more times than others, chishiya wouldn't wake you up when he had a nightmare, because he was a silent sleeper. but you, however, did wake him up since you were a quiet sleeper, but a one that moved around quite a lot. so you thrashed around quite a lot, with the occasional mutter of "no" or sometimes even you screamed.

the first time this did happen, however, chishiya thought there was an intruder, so he ultimately went into panic mode aswell, jumping awake and turning the light on, before realising it was just a nightmare you were having. he managed to wake you up as softly as he could, holding you in his arms as he whispered to you that everything would just about be alright. you believed him, well, almost.

the time he woke you up, he was just flinching and twitching in his sleep, and you woke him up. chishiya being chishiya, though, pretended nothing was wrong, but didn't say no to you holding him until he wemt back to sleep.

you almost believed that everything would be alright, because when your mental health started to slowly get worse, so did the nightmares. chishiya did notice you slowly started to eat less, and also sleep less, but he thought you would manage to get yourself back up on your feet. only when you started to get a lot worse, did he start to intervene.

it started off slow, just small snacks, before it turned into small meals, then bigger meals, then you were eating properly again. but that didn't change your sleeping. even though your eating patterns were improving, your nightmares were still getting worse.

almost every night you woke up screaming and crying, but even the nights you didn't, you would still be up throughout the night. chishiya was starting to get worried, even though he didn't show it that much, he worried.

after a while, you got a cat, aswell as sleeping pills perscribed from your doctor boyfriend himself. he thought the cat would help with anxiety, and the pills with sleeping. and they did, for a while at least. as much as chishiya loved you, he couldn't keep waking up due to your screams and nightmares.

the pills worked for around a month, before you started to get worse again. the pills weren't working as much as they used to and you were waking up a lot more. you had both tried everything, from pills to pillow mist, nothing was working.

your cat, did hep with bits of anxiety when you had the occasional anxiety or panic attack. but other than that, you were practically on your own. chishiya did help, but he wasn't there all the time. he did advise you to go get therapy, but even if you did, nobody would believe you other than the man l who suggested it himself.

at this point, you were barely sleeping. you would try not to wake chishiya, but whenever you were awake, so was he. it was almost as though he just knew you would be awake.

this one particular night, you had a worse nightmare, you were thrashing around all night and chishiya was awake. it was only when the screams started that he woke you up, you were hitting his chest in protest until you realised it was him.

"sh, sh, sh" he says, bringing your sobbing frame into his arms, your face soaking his night shirt with your tears. "you're okay, i'm here, everything is okay" he whispers, stroking your hair and leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head.

your sobs eventually died down, and chishiya just about thought you were asleep until you whispered.

"i'm sorry" you whispered into his chest.

"what for?" he says, cupping your cheeks in his hands and making you move your head so you were looking at him.

"keeping you awake every night" you whisper back.

"honey, it's fine, as long as you're okay" he says, bringing you back into his chest.

"i love you" you mutter, and you just about hear him say it back before sleep overcame you.

[pepsiconcoction]

hi hi, i enjoy reading your content so much that I wanted to make a request! A Lee Know Fluff inspired by this song “Take A Chance With Me” by NIKI. It can literally be a drabble, one shot, series or whatever pleases you! thanks again <3

hi i'm so sorry i disappeared for like, so long? idk honestly, so i have no idea when you posted this, or if you even still want it lol. i finally have some free time AND i'm feeling creative again so that's fun! anyways hope you like this, i did it in like an hour and a half and its barely proofread, i hope u love it tho <3

Take A Chance With Me - Lee Know x Reader

pairing: Lee Know x gn!Reader

tags: non-idol AU, fluff, tiny amount of angst if you squint?, lee know is a goofy guy i guess

wc: 891

Being in love with Minho was hard. Unfortunately, it was a hardship you had been dealing with for a while now. He was everything to you, your best friend, your soulmate even, although he would always say that soulmates don’t actually call each other that.

The moment you finally realised you were in love with Lee Minho, the two of you were nursing hangovers, a bowl of sundaeguk steaming your face. You had both finally graduated from University, the same place you had met almost 4 years ago. He had finally introduced himself to you after sitting next to you every Tuesday at 9am, after the professor had introduced the fact that group work was required for a project. You hadn’t even heard him speak up until that point, you were kinda beginning to think that was a figment of your imagination until he spoke. 

A year later he told you that he decided to sit next to you because you were the first person who seemed ‘normal’ when he first entered and looked around the room. This confession, of course, had the two of you in fits of giggles at how neither of you turned out to be normal. You had realised you both shared a passion for dance despite your degree studying computer science and had even attended each other's dance showcases and competitions, watching him dance was like nothing else. The way he moved with such practiced precision was so captivating, that it was almost impossible to ever look away.

Beyond that, he was the kindest person you knew. He cared in ways that you had never expected of him. When your boyfriend cheated on you in the summer between years 2 and 3, he showed up to your apartment with kind words and snacks, and he did your dishes for you and even ironed your shirt for work the next day so that you could cry.

Back to the sundaeguk. It was still steaming.

The glint in his eye as he threw his head back giggling at some stupid joke you made you realise. It made you realise a lot of things actually. 

“What happens now?” you ask.

“I don’t know about you but I’m gonna eat this,” he says pointing at his bowl with the chopsticks in his hand.

“No, I mean, now that we’ve graduated.”

He stops mid sausage-to-mouth and blinks at you. 

“We get… jobs, I guess.” The sausage reaches his mouth. You laugh. You let the moment pass.

A month later you’re at a party, he asked you to be his plus one to the after-party of one of his dance shows and you’re talking to one of the other members of the choreography team. She tells you how Minho talks about you and has such admiration for you. When Minho waves at you from across the room, she asks you how you’re not dating. You manage to ramble off something about just being close friends but even you don’t fully believe it. You don’t want this night to end the way it always did. He walks you home, you hold his arm, you let go, and you both say good night. 

You watch him from across the room, the room blaring with music, the sound of voices almost competing. He’s beautiful, you know that, everyone who has ever met him knows that. He’s talking to a friend, one you vaguely recognise, and you feel a pang in your chest, a feeling of impending doom. There’s a fear in your heart that something will take him from you, a job, a person, you don’t know, but you need him to stay with you. You need him.

You finish the drink in your hand and put the empty glass back on the table. You excuse yourself from the group and walk over to him. He notices you and his smile grows wide. 

“Hey! I was just talking about you.” He’s grinning as he says it.

“Only good things I hope.” You raise your eyebrows.

“Of course.”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” you turn a little more serious for a moment. He excuses himself from his friend and the two of you walk outside into the quiet of the night, the cool summer air refreshing.

“Are you okay?” he asks, a hint of concern showing in his eyes.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about things.” you sigh.

“Oh, that’s never good.” 

“I was thinking about you, dumbass.” You roll your eyes.

“Okay, now I’m interested,” he smirks.

You pause as you look at him. You spare a moment thinking of what to say, and how he’ll react, will he accept or reject you? You don’t know. The only thing you do know is Lee Minho, you know him as if you are him, as if you’re connected somehow. You feel like this is already written for you.

“I love you,” you say. He blinks.

“I love you too.”

“No, like, I love you Minho. More than just besties.”

“But if we date, who will be my bestie?” Of course, he jokes. Of course, you laugh.

“You’d have to find a new one.” You giggle.

“Well, looks like I’ll have to get started then.” He leans into you. “I wasn’t kidding,” he says in a softer, quieter voice. “I do love you.”

Being in love with Minho was suddenly so easy, but it always was.

taglist: @lethallyprotected @lieslab @jeyelleohe @lilykatelyn-blog @mimiibear @jisungfanpage47 send me an ask if you want to be added!!

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

Y’all… this word count… I’m was almost gonna slept it up but decided not too. Anyways hehe. Also the last chapter is gonna be posted on Halloween at the witching hour in PST, cause Halloween chapter! so I’m excited about that lol. The usual, not proofread, Miguel might be ooc.

(Y/F/N)- Your full name.

Not much Miguel and reader interaction but what is there is worth it. Me attempting to write about sports stuff I don’t know anything about even though I promise I did attempt research. Cursing (I think tbh I can’t even remember but probably), fluff (if you squint?????), I’m giving up on these tags lmao.

Word count: 2.8k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 14: Ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? ‘Cause I always do.

—

It wasn’t entirely surprising how quickly you got everyone in your group to agree to go to the game later, although you were expecting Logan to be against the idea since he hates the sport, but apparently his want to see you and Miguel get together was stronger than his hate for hockey since he immediately agreed.

You were currently in your 4-way shared Airbnb getting ready for the hockey game, having already been kicked out of the dorms by the university despite there being a game tonight, which didn’t make sense in your opinion, but that’s neither here nor there. Usually you would usually travel back home during the breaks, but due to you and Logan participating in regionals this year, you had to stay in Nueva York, you had both decided to stay in one rather than a regular hotel since it would be cheaper, Kate and Xavier tagged along for emotional support.

“I’ve never actually attended a hockey game, what do you wear? Probably a crew neck or a hoodie right? It’s still an ice rink. Maybe I should wear school merch, ugh but the only school related jacket I have is our skating team varsity jackets.” Kate, Logan and Xavier just stayed silent as they watched you rambled on, their faces full of amusement (and from Logan just the slightest bit of annoyance) as they watched you freak out , glancing at you every once and a while as you kept pacing between the hallway bathroom and your room as you attempted to get ready for the game despite it not starting for another 3 and a half hours.

“You should have asked Miguel for one of his spare jerseys.” Logan teased as he wandered towards your doorframe and leaned against it as he watched you dump your suitcase over your bed. How the hell do you not have a red or blue jacket??

“Shut up Logan.”

“You’re overthinking this, you know.”

“What? No I’m not.” Oh, you totally overthinking this.

“He’s got you whipped.” Logan snickered, shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. You in response threw a pillow in his direction, which he hit to dodge.

“You’re not funny Logan. Do you have a school sweatshirt I can borrow?” You said, releasing a deep exhale through your nose as you turn to look at him.

“I think I think I have a spear.” He replied as he picked up the pillow off the floor and tossed it on your bed. “I just don’t want Miguel trying to beat me up over you wearing my jacket.” He added as he walked over to where you were standing, stopping once he was right next to you.

“He wouldn’t, I promise. I won’t let him.”

—

“This is actually kinda fun to watch.” Xavier said to Kate, as she glanced over to you before back at the rink. The spiders were currently in the lead 2 to 1 and it was about to be the end of the first period, a little less than 6 minutes before the timer reaches zero.

“It’s totally scary though.” Kate said as she took a sip of her soda, you nodding in agreement.

“So glad I went into figure skating…” Logan muttered as his eyes widened, an almost horrified look spreading on his face, but he couldn’t look away. You would have giggled at his reaction if you didn’t feel the same way. Both sports are dangerous just in their own ways.

You turned your head as you saw Peter pass the punk to Miguel, who you believed was playing center, (you watched one of those 10 minute crash course videos on how hockey works before you came to the show because whether if you were aware of it or not, Logan was right about you being whipped already) as he was making his way closer to the goal, when one of the players on the opposite team came crashing into him back first. The other player’s elbow “accidentally” hit Miguel’s face, and Miguel was knocked back, landing against the wall as the player on the opposite side took the puck.

“What the fuck-.” You muttered under your breath in shock, cringing slightly as you watched Miguel’s hand going up to cover his mouth, his face wincing in pain, your hands going up to mirror his actions. As soon as Miguel’s hand made contact with his mouth, a timeout was called. The spider's couch went up to Miguel first, talked to him for a bit before walking over to where the referee was. You couldn’t hear anything from either interaction, so you just watched silently, ignoring your friends glances towards you, keeping your eyes on Miguel, worried written on your face. Miguel’s eyes shift around the arena, before finding yours, you can tell he’s trying not to cringe as much as soon as your eyes meet, as if he didn’t want you to see him in pain.

Once you two were looking at each other, you took your hand off your face and mouthed an “are you okay?” to which Miguel took his hand off his mouth and gave you a thumbs up and a smile, but his smile didn’t free you of your worries, in fact, it made it worse, before you could stop your body, you let out a gasp as your eyes widened. His mouth was bleeding, and it was bleeding a lot.

His expression seemed to falter a bit upon seeing your reaction, to what though you couldn’t really tell. Panic? Worry? You don’t know. Other then the initial pain he felt when the elbow made contact with his face, Miguel wasn’t really worried about his injury despite the metallic taste filling his mouth, he didn’t feel anything break or a tooth fall out, sure he’ll probably be sore from a few hours and will have to clean his mouth guard, maybe think about getting a cage instead (this wasn’t the first time someone has elbowed him in the face during a game) but he knows it’s a part of the sport, that’s what he signed up for when he started playing. So why was it that seeing the concern on your face made his chest tighten with guilt? Miguel didn’t have another time to dwell on his thoughts before his coach sent him to the locker room to clean up.

—

Miguel felt like he was going to go insane if he didn’t get the taste of blood out of his mouth. He’s already gone through 4 sticks of gum and had to refill his water bottle twice in an attempt to flesh out the coppery taste from his senses. He let out a frustrated huff of annoyance as he spat out another piece of gum and brought his water up to his mouth and took a big swig, gargling it a bit before spitting it out in a sink and finally started to make his way out, his bag with his gear slung over his shoulder as he exited the locker room. They had won the game luckily, but Miguel wasn’t as happy as he wanted to be about the victory, maybe it was because he was still mad about getting elbowed in the mouth, maybe it was because he had to be benched due to him getting injured so early in the game or maybe it’s because out of all the games he played this season, of course he got injured at the one you were attending.

Most of the team has gone home already, some stragglers were left, two of those being Miguel and Peter, and Miguel wouldn’t be surprised if you had left already, he probably would have if he was in your shoes. Maybe you got the ick from him now after watching him get hit in the face, and he would be back in square one all over again, the thought was more painful then the hit to his mouth. His mind was running a mile a minute as we made his way down the hall and towards the main exit to head to his car where Peter was most likely already waiting for him. As he walked, he was trying to keep his thoughts on his sore jaw and about the game, trying to to not think about how you saw him get hit, or how your face twisted in disgust at the sight of his bloody smile after you asked him if he alright, the embarrassment and angry he felt when after he came back from the locker room Coach Turner benched him, how-

Is that you talking to Peter in the parking lot???

“I should turn around and wait till she leaves…” he told himself under his breath, but his feet continued to move him closer to where both of you stood near Miguel’s car. Once he was a big closer Peter noticed him first, since your back was facing him, talking to him about something he couldn’t quite pick up on.

“Ah speak of the devil.” Peter said with a smirk, one you would haven’t thought much of, but Miguel knew that there was a smug undertone to it, as if he was right about something. “Sup Mig, we were just talking about you.” He continued as you turned to face him, your eyes widened for a split second as they scanned Miguel’s face, as if checking for more injuries, before you took a step closer to him, you hand instantly going to rest gently on his arm.

“Hey! Oh my god, are you okay? That hit looked brutal, god that jerk.” Miguel didn’t know if it was the way your tone and face went from concerned to annoyed as you spoke, or the way you hand went traveled from his arm to his chin, lightly gripping it and moving his face from side to side gently, mirroring his actions earlier in the day when he did the same to you after he bumped into you at lunch, but god did you make his heart burst with warmth.

“I’m okay ice princess, calm down.” Miguel assured you with a small smile, a chuckle escaping his swollen lips as he took your hand and brought it down away from his face, giving it a light squeeze as he did so. Neither of you have realized that Peter had slipped away into Miguel's car.

“Okay, okay good.” You sighed and nodded, glad to know he was relatively okay.

“Didn’t mean to get you all worried Princesa.”

You scoff, taking your hand away from him and lightly hit his chest.

“God, you always gonna say something stupid, huh?” You rolled your eyes, but your tone couldn’t hide the smile forming on your face.

“Of course I do, ice princess, how else am I supposed to annoy you?”

—

To say you were nervous was a complete understatement, you have never been more terrified for a skating performance in your life. It was your first time performing for regionals after all.

You had barely gotten a wink of sleep, a few hours at most, but you mostly spent the night twisting and turning, glancing at your phone to look at the time, before letting out a frustrated groan and pulling your sheets up a bit higher in an attempt to get yourself to finally sleep. But your attempts were mostly futile, finally throwing in the towel around 5:00 in the morning, deciding it would be better to spend your time Getting ready for the day you’ve been anticipating rather then attempting to get another hour of sleep you know you won’t get.

By the time the clock had struck 5:30, you'd already packed your equipment in your bag, and had loaded it in Logan’s car, not surprised when you saw his back already packed, before making your way to the kitchen to make yourself breakfast, something light but enough to keep you full till lunch.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” Logan asked when you saw him enter the kitchen, two Starbucks cups hand, passing you one as he took a sip of his, his voice low as to not wake up Kate or Xavier. You let out a hum and nodded your head as you took the one he handed you and took a sip, the caffeine making you wince as you feel it try to wake your body up a bit.

“We should hit the road soon, coach Kavinsky said we should be at the rink by 6 so we can make it in time for check in and make it for our off ice warm up.” You said as you stood up from your seat, putting your dishes in the sink.

—

“God, I didn't know our short program would take so long…” Logan huffed as you both threw your figure skating jackets over your performance outfits for the first half of the competition, as you both rushed down the arenas long hallway being careful to avoid running into some of the other pairs as you made your way back to the locker rooms to change.

“Did you see Kate and her boyfriend?”

“No. Did you see Miguel and his friend?”

“No. I didn’t get enough time to look around the seats to find them.”

“Same.”

You both dropped the conversation once you both reached your respective locker rooms. Quickly changing out of the first dress and slipped the second one on, it was a full black dress with long mesh sleeves and smoke black mesh on your sides, being sure to be careful with the gemstones that were placed around the waistline and the chest, and the black feathers that accented the back in order to look like a pair of small wings as you slip your jacket back on, before going to change your lip color and eye makeup.

You were stressing hard, hell, you were surprised you were able to apply your eyeliner with a steady hand. You didn’t need to rush, since you and Logan weren’t going back on the ice for a while since they still had a few short programs to go through before you were supposed to go back on, but you tended to rush when you were nervous. Once you finished fixing your makeup you went to touch up your hair, placing two feathered wing hair clips that pinned flat against your head to match the ones of your costume, one of each side of your head. As you were placing some more bobby pins in your hair to help keep the small wings in place you heard your phone ding next to where you had placed it next to all your supplies. Once placing the last bobby pin in your hair, you grabbed your phone to open it and look at the notification.

Hey, you did amazing, can’t wait to watch your other dance. -unknown number

Fuck how your heart skipped a beat.

You didn’t even need to ask who it was to know it was Miguel, although you never gave him your phone number, so you were a bit curious as to who he had asked for it, but for now you’d have to push that to the back of your mind and focus at the more important upcoming task at hand.

—

“Next skaters going for the free skate, (Y/F/N) and Logan Martinez.”

A pause as the two go into their starting positions before Swan Lake by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky begins to fill the arena, the two skaters cladded in black, the gemstones on their costumes, despite their small size, shimmered brightly from the lights. No sounds other than the music filling the rink and the occasional swish from the skates slashing the ice.

You might be representing the black swan but you’ve never looked more like an angel in Miguel’s eyes. Despite the tragic atmosphere that the performance was depicting, you looked absolutely heavenly to him, he shouldn’t be surprised, this is what you love to do, what you wanted to do for a living. But he’s never got the chance, no starch that, the privilege of watching you do a routine in all of your full glory. He’s caught glimpses of you and Logan doing both routines during practices, but that was different, you wouldn’t portraying the emotions like you were right now, you wouldn’t wear the performance outfit like you were now, and the energy you were putting into the routine was far more grand than when you would practice back on the uni’s arena. He could already see himself watching from home as you and Logan were representing the country in the Olympics, but then again, maybe it was just his heart talking,being overzealous. He didn’t know if it was the performance or just your presence that he couldn’t tear his gaze from, but he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to look away in the first place.

You and Logan were selected to advance to sectionals.

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @miguel-ohara-eater @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @sukioyakio @minimari415

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @saltpepperbeard

The second featured author of this week is the lovely, loquacious, and truly the best bestie anyone could have: Jodi ♥️ I don't know how she does it but Jodi's fics are fast becoming my most comfortable corner of ao3 to be in because she just has such a way with words, and I do think we should all let her write s3 😌 I also annoyed her into answering some questions for me and sharing her writing process:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

So I *used* to write sequentially, ie from beginning to end, but the process has gotten more and more chaotic over the years—unhinged, one might say lol! Now, I typically start things off by drafting sections of a story, which ends up being a lot of dialogue more often than not. Like, there are *definitely* some wips in my drafts right now that are almost 100% Stede and Ed talking and nothing else lol (which I mean...staying true to their characters there if you ask me)! Then, if a bit of good description comes to me, I'll pencil that somewhere into the draft, too. And only *then* lol, if things are feeling right and the motivation is feeling high, will I actually attempt to write in sequential order—essentially just playing "fill in the blanks" and writing towards things I've drafted to mix everything all together!

...But sometimes my brain does still fast-forward and write future sections if the good ol' "shower/going to bed daydreams" strike. So it really just depends lol!

My 2014 writing brain, in Ed's voice: You are improving though! Kinda.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing?

...Squints at my tags on AO3 lol. If you see that almost *all* of my stories are hurt/comfort, no you don't <3. I just absolutely adore taking all the hurt Ed and Stede have gone through and soothing it with cuddles, kisses, and soft reassurances. Because man, *man,* have they both been through a lot. It's like Pandora's Box lol; once you start digging into the true depths of their hurt, you just end up with more and more and MORE. There's just so much that they both need and *deserve* to talk through as a crew—or talk through as a "two," as some have said lol, so I adore exploring that. I adore allowing them to have that space and that safety. *Particularly* with Ed getting to unpack things he faced in the earlier parts of Season 2, and with Stede getting to unpack...*anything.*

Also, because I write entirely in-universe, I'm a big fan of implementing some of the common, lovely headcanons. Ie, the crew coming to visit, the two of them maintaining a garden, the British never finding them, etc etc. I know not all of my published works reflect those, but a lot of my drafts do, promise lol!

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

I *still* feel like I'm trying to nail down that ✨ kiwi cadence,✨ not going to lie lol! But, in sitting with this question and sort of going back and forth on it for a while, I think I'm ultimately going to have to land on Stede in most instances. Maybe because I'm one of the ✨ Stede-coded Girlies (gn)✨ , or maybe because I adore Ed so much and subsequently find it easier to gush over him narratively lol! But yeah.

Strangely enough though, I will say I find it easier to write Ed's voice when he's dealing with hurt, vs writing Stede's voice when he's dealing with hurt. I think that's because Ed is more open with his pain, and deals with it in more candid ways, whereas Stede likes to bottle things up and hide. So, it's subsequently harder to crack him open and let out everything that has backed up.

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

-Ed voice- Oooowaaaagggh.

Is coming to the table with two stories cheating? Because, I have two lol! I'm very proud of Scrumptious, and also Lovers of Beauty. The former because it was an idea that had been sitting in my head *forever* and I'm so happy it finally got realized, and the latter because it was my first go at writing other characters as well as an exploration of a very particular vein of Ed's hurt. Can't go wrong with Horny Stede and Ed in a dress either, I'd say lol!

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

Lmao: INTERTWINED. I feel like it's shown up in almost every single story I've written post-season 2, if not *every* single story. I'm just a big fan of throwing their canon quotes in my narration, with the "breathing the same air" and "love letter" speeches getting the most mileage. OH and also Stede's mermaid speech, too; "I'm here. I'm here. You're safe" assuredly gets thrown into the mix as well lol.

Also uhhhh, on a sillier note, I'd definitely say that the good' ol "fuck" gets a lot of usage lol! Ed and I 🤝 enhancing many a sentence with it.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

I do not! We die like the Badmintons.

I instead rely on myself for the long and tedious part of my process I call "combing." Ie, going over my last draft with a fine tooth comb to catch typos or any other silliness to the best of my ability.

Would I benefit from a beta reader? Probably, yes. Would I spook from having a beta reader? Probably, yes PFFF. So, combing it is!

Why OFMD 🥹

God, this show. GOD, this show. I just take such a deep and personal comfort in it for so many reasons. I think the two things that snagged me initially were: getting to see queer people just *being,* and getting to see *older* people finding love. The way that this show portrays us in such a natural, lovely light is so, so refreshing. It's like how Taika has often talked about it; there's no triumphant "coming out" type moment, there's no sensationalizing anything, and there's no spotlight on the queerness. It just...*is.* Everyone just loves whoever the hell they want, and there's no questioning or even discussing the implications of that. And I adore that. I adore the *freedom* of that. It just makes the show feel all the more personable and cozier, too.

Also, man, to see older queer people finding love...I'm going to be vulnerable on main here; I don't have a lot of relationship experience, and I'm nearing my 30's. Western Society/Culture puts this *huge* pressure on people to find the love of their life and have it all figured out by their low/mid 20's, so not fitting that norm has been quite the gut stab for me. And yes yes, I know, it's all entirely fabricated and no one has the same timeline, but it still aches to see, particularly when a lot of media portrays love within that age group, if not *younger.*

So, to see these two men nearing *50* finally finding each other after a life of emptiness and pain? To see them finally finding the person who understands them better than anyone else? And to subsequently get the comfort that somewhere, sometime, you'll cross paths with someone who just *gets* you? Ooooagh.

I think that plays into another part of the show that I adore, too. Ie, the theme that "things are going to be okay." That, no matter how dark and dreary things may seem in the moment, you could still have your mermaid moment, and subsequently end up in a cozy little inn with the love of your life. That there's so much kindness and hope and *love* awaiting you.

It's just so comforting on so many levels and I adore it with all my heart. It's a shame that CERTAIN execs and people equivalent will never be able to understand the depth and the importance; they're entirely, truly missing out.

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[tranakin-skywalker]

Story Masterlist

Figured I should finally make one of these so y'all know what the fuck I'm talking about when I go on about my silly little au ideas. I'll be updating this list as I publish things/ come up with new ideas. Published fics have a hyperling to their ao3 embedded in their title.

THE BIG BOYS

Singularity:

Half canon re-write, half me going "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if _?" Basically I packed all my favorite little headcanons and tropes into one five-part monster of a series, featuring things like eldritch demigod Anakin, Force deities, fucked up Naboo politics, sentient droids, and a Galactic Civil War that actually feels Galactic and like a war. Somehow ended up with me both trying to make Star Wars more realistic, and leans way more into the mythological side of the story. Also features a ton of my own original concepts. A pantheon of Tatooine gods and slave culture inspired loosely by Fialleril, Sith religion and rituals, clone culture and language built around the idea that they've been dehumanized and un-personed for their entire existence, and a bunch of stuff about the Coruscant underworld. You can find more about it under my fic:singularity tag

Star-Birth:

The first part of Singularity more or less covering the events of TPM with a few... creative liberties taken. Status: Published/ Ongoing Word Count: 92,740

Accretion:

Part II of Singularity covering the years of Anakin's apprenticeship between TPM and AOTC, as well as looks into both the lives of Shmi and Padme. I took inspiration from a bunch of the stories in Legends covering this time period but most of it is my own thing. This is the one that goes the deepest into the functions and every day life of the Jedi, as well as life on Coruscant in general. An exploration of the disconnect between the governing body of the Senate and the wider galaxy, the wealth disparity on Coruscant and just how fucking dystopian it is, and generally how something like the Clone Wars could come about. Status: Unpublished

Asterism:

Part III of Singularity. AOTC if I butchered it's body and reassembled it in the imagine of my own design. Some of the movie's plot points remain but I'm attempting to get from Point A to Point B as originally as I can while still keeping with the heart of Attack of the Clones. Status: Unpublished

Nucleosynthesis:

Part IV of Singularity. The Clone Wars but not the animated version. We are going full Republic comics version baby. Ahsoka is still here tho, because I love her. Basically my idea of what a galactic civil war would actually look like, featuring space battles that last for months on end, widespread disease outbreaks, planets completely wiped out of existence, billions of combatants, and war crimes galore. The size of this war is immense. Like, there's over 1 billion active duty clones at any given time. (Which actually isn't even all that much compared to the population of the Republic at large lol) Probably the most space opera of the series. Status: Unpublished

Event Horizon:

Fifth and final part of Singularity. Essentially it's version of RotS, but with a vastly different ending. And beginning. And middle. Basically it's RotS if you squint. This I think is going to be the one that goes the deepest into the mythological/ fantasy aspects of the story. The Force and all it's weirdness is a huge aspect of this one. This is also the fic that goes the deepest into the Sith and all their awfulness. It features a much beloved headcanon of mine that when a Sith master is killed by their apprentice, part of their consciousness enters into their apprentice as a sort of living holocron. Which means that the current Sith master is essentially possessed by all the Sith that came before them and is constantly having to fight to keep control of their own body. It serves both as a way to pass on all the Sith teachings (since a living master would have a vested interest in keeping knowledge from their apprentice and thus a lot of that knowledge would be lost over time) and as an attempt at immortality. A strong enough spirit can take control of a weak enough vessel. Unfortunately for all those Sith masters, any apprentice who is able to go on and kill their own master isn't going to be in any way weak. A full, proper possession in the Sith lineage has been few and far between. I imagine y'all can guess what this means for Sidious' intentions with Anakin, a living vergence of the Force and for all intents and purposes immortal (even if Anakin won't let himself acknowledge that fact). Status: Unpublished

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Cytokinesis:

What started as me asking myself "what if the start of ANH but Vader/Anakin was trans and the twin's gestating parent and thus, recognized Leia immediately?" which then turned into something much much longer than I intended. Oops. The actual story starts during the Clone Wars when Anakin discovers he's been magically impregnated by the Force just like how his own mother was. Deals a lot with gender, parenthood, generational trauma, and repeating cycles. Also clones. Lots and lots with the clones. Their relationship with Anakin after discovering that he's basically a clone of his mother is a huge part of this fic. This particular version is going to follow along the beats of RotS and what comes after more or less (so, things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. Sorry) with some divergence here and there. This is the fic I find myself going back and rewriting/tweaking the most. Which is partially why it's taking me so long to update. I'm trying to make this next chapter one I'm completely happy with instead of having to go back and redo it in a few weeks lol. (Tho I think that's part of the fun of fanfic, the ability to go back and change things whenever you want). Honestly, this one is getting so long I might end up having to split it into two fics. fic: cytokinesis tag Status: Published/ Ongoing

Unnamed Cytokinesis Spin-off:

While Cyto is going to have a happy ending, it's going to take a lot of hurt to get there. Which is why I came up with an au to my au where the twins come early, Anakin doesn't fall, and things are happy... ish. The Republic is still a trash fire on the brink of collapse and everyone still has so so much trauma. Even when I write a happy au, things still suck lmao. I just can't imagine a RotS fix-it where things aren't still falling apart and Anakin gets off scot-free for murdering the president of the galaxy. Status: Unpublished

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Groundwater:

Ah yes, the fic that is really three differnt aus in a trench coat. 1. In the midst of galactic instability and the seceding of dozens of planets from the Republic, a revolt begins to spread in the Outer Rim. A revolt led by unknown masked force users, and a suspected Sith known only as Vader. The Jedi scramble to uncover the identity of these new enemies, only to discover a plethora of unpleasant truths that make them begin to question themselves and the very Republic instead. 2. After five years with the Jedi Anakin starts to have nightmares about his mother dying and they. just. won't. stop. He asks Obi-Wan for help, begs him for the chance to go to Tatooine and make sure she's alright. He isn't allowed to go. So he takes matters into his own hands. He leaves in the middle of the night, nothing but a note and a cut padawan braid left behind, and he goes to save his mother. Anakin ends up finding more than just his mother. There's a freedom network, one that Shmi is part of. There is a rebellion brewing, stolen weapons and stolen ships. There is a city in the desert, a paradise made by the hands of escaped slaves. And there are things, old things, powerful things, that he never new existed on Tatooine. Like deep ancient caves carved by the planet's mythical groundwater where kyber crystals grow wild and undiscovered. 3. Darth Vader lived, and then he died. In his son's arms he died, but that wasn't the end of it. There is no death, there is only the Force. And the Force was not done with him yet. He returns, four decades in the past, as a ghost haunting his younger self. Forced into the role of a passive observer, no power, no voice, seen only by one little boy and unable to change anything. Cursed to watch history repeat itself. Or at least that's what he thought. fic: groundwater tag Status: Unpublished

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I Wonder Which One Has My Eyes:

There was something achingly familiar about the pair of droids following the young princess around, Pooja thought. Or Pooja Naberrie, junior senator of Naboo, is invited to a senatorial event on Alderaan. There she meets and befriends young Princess Leia Organa. A few things click into place. This one is actually inspired by @keistance fic Uncle Ani, where the Naberries knew about the Anidala marriage. I thought it would be so so fun if Pooja realized that Leia was her baby cousin and secretly tells Leia all about her birth parents. Which means she goes into ANH knowing all about Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, something that completely derails a certain interrogation with a certain Dark Lord when he stumbles over that particular fact. I'm fascinated by the idea of Leia coming from a similar place as Luke in canon, where she knows her father as a good man named Anakin Skywalker before she ever knew him as Vader. I think that change in perspective would give her the same belief and drive to bring her father back to the Light that Luke has. Also I think both twins ganging up on Vader to bully him into redemption is very funny. Status: Unpublished

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Unnamed Togruta AU:

Or Togruta!Skywalkers. Shmi and Anakin are Tatooine togruta, a rare population of togs that were ensalved from Shili dozens of generations ago and slowly grew to adapt to the desert environment. A characteristic of the Tatooine togs is the forward facing montals, which Anakin has. It's a trait coveted for gladiator slaves since they can be used to pin down/gore opponents. Anakin was occasionally entered into matches as a child where he was forced to fight and kill animals. Had he not been taken by the Jedi, he would have eventually been put in death matches against other sentients. (because I'm lazy I'm just copy/pasting this part from an old ask)

A lot of the ideas are coming from the hyena discord, so I can’t claim them as my own. But they are just too good to pass up. Like togruta making infrasound with their montrals and constantly projecting their moods. So when Anakin first gets to the Temple he’s constantly screaming for him mom at a pitch that only other togruta can hear. I’ve decided that that’s actually how he first meets Ahsoka. She hears him making his lost, scared, where’s mom, where’s family sounds and seeks him out to comfort him. Ahsoka would be about four here, and would have left Shili recently enough that she could still remember what those noises mean, even if Tatooine togruta sound different from Shili togruta. (to a Shili tog Anakin’s distressed noises sound like he’s being maimed, but that’s just because of the generational trauma and general awfulness of being a togruta on Tatooine. What they would think of the vocalizations he makes when actually being maimed we will not think about)

So Anakin and Ahsoka end up growing up together right from the start, and the main reason Anakin is so insistent on being knighted early is so that Ahsoka can be his padawan. It’s a private thought he has to himself at first, but as Ahsoka gets older and no masters are showing any interest in taking her on she starts to panic. Anakin tells her that he’ll just have to get knighted before she ages out so that he can be her master. And then the Clone War starts and he realizes that keeping his promise means bringing her onto the battlefield with him where she could die and he’s not sure if he’ll be enough to keep her alive :) Because Shmi is a togruta too she does not get bought by Cleigg Lars. I am just. not dealing with the implications of that. (Listen. I want to read Shmi’s marriage to him as a good thing, but I have a very hard time doing that.) Now, there’s actually a comic (Legands, I think, not Disney canon) where Gardulla goes to Watto and tries to buy Anakin back after he wins the Boonta Eve Classic. So have some fun thoughts about what would have happened to Anakin if he hadn’t gone with Qui-Gon. In the fic, Gardulla goes to buy Anakin but of course he left with the Jedi, so Gardulla decides she’ll take Shmi as payment for Watto’s debts. After all, if Shmi already had one child who turned out to be a talented podracer, well, she might have more. Hence the younger sibling that comes about shortly after Anakin leaves.

When Anakin goes back to Tatooine because of the nightmares about his mom he finds out that Watto sold his mom back to Gardulla and has to go to her to buy his mom’s freedom. Which would be traumatic, on multiple levels. Anakin finds out that a month before he arrived, Shmi tried to escape with the sister Anakin didn’t know he had, and Gardulla had their chips detonated. Gardulla even gives him their triggered remotes as proof. (Of course unbeknownst to Anakin, Shmi and the sister survived and are living with a village of other escaped togruta.) A lot of canon still happens the same, including Anakin’s fall, Order 66, Mustafar, etc. But when Bail Organa sees Ahsoka at Padme’s funeral he tells her that he can take her to a mutual friend of theirs. Ahsoka thinks (hopes) it’s Anakin at first, and is devastated when she realizes it’s Obi-Wan (and then hates herself for feeling disappointment because she should be happy that Obi-Wan is still alive, but he’s not Anakin, and this means that Anakin must be dead). There’s no Lars family and the Organas would have a harder time explaining a non-human daughter, so Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up taking care of the twins. They eventually find their way to Tatooine because it’s out of the Empire’s notice and, well, because it’s a connection to Anakin (Ahsoka’s trying to hold onto anything she can that connects her to her brother and Obi-Wan is in his self-harming phase.)

And it’s there that they eventually run into a little community of togruta and a woman who looks suspiciously like Anakin who has the last name Skywalker. But hey, Shmi gets to meet her grandkids at least. Even if it happens at the same time that she finds out that son she thought she’d sent away to a better life and hasn’t seen in 13 years is dead. (Obi-Wan sees how much Anakin’s death destroys Shmi and decides to never, ever tell her what he became. Vader will be his burden and it’s a secret he will take to his grave. Anakin Vader is dead, and he’ll save them from ever finding out how it really happened) Of course, 15 years later Ahsoka goes to rescue some rebels from a walking death omen in black when she realizes the infrasound calls he’s shrieking out of his mangled montrals is devastatingly familiar.

togruta au tag or togrutakin tag Status: Unpublished

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Anachromism:

Anakin ends up twenty three years in the future, Vader ends up twenty three years in the past.

So you’ve got Anakin just fresh off the child murder suddenly flung into the Rebellion era and being faced with how much he supremely fucked up. Meanwhile Vader like not even a week after Bespin suddenly back in the Jedi Temple in the middle of the Purge. And because his vision is shit he doesn’t realize at first that it’s a bunch of clone troopers shooting at the big black angry mass that suddenly appeared. Which leads him to accidentally saving a bunch of baby Jedi, who of course imprint on him like orphaned ducklings. Vader figures he must had died at some point and this is a divine punishment for all the atrocities, trapped in a purgatory of reliving all his greatest mistakes. So in a bit of an uncharacteristic move for him, he doesn’t murder to death the gaggle of preschoolers he’s accidentally collected, and instead, in a series of absurd events sort of unintentionally helps to start the Rebel Alliance in a bit of cosmic irony.

Status: Unpublished

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War Machines (title pending):

Jedi are living weapons. Far into the Outer Rim, the Hutts obtain a planet killer. Dystopian au where the sith empire was never wiped out and controls half the galaxy and the Republic is more of an authoritarian dictatorship that uses teh Jedi as living weapons of mass destruction. Force sensitive children are taken from their families and trained as soldiers, raised with a cloned ‘handler’ who was designed specifically to be able to keep their Jedi in line. The Jedi are eldritch, incredibly powerful beings that are forced to wear suppression gear that keeps them confined to their physical form. Only the handler is able to turn it off the gear and allow the jedi the full use of their abilities. Some force sensitives are wired into ships or turned into actual weapons. On Tatooine, Gardulla realizes one of her slaves is a powerful force sensitive and begins having him trained like a jedi to be her own personal one man army. Status: Unpublished

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the thing that lives in dead stars (title pending):

A gambler Watto may have been, but stupid he was not. Anakin Skywalker was too great a prize to risk losing, not when the man betting had the gleam in his eye that told of a winning hand. Not that it mattered in the end. The boy won, and Watto lost, and the hutts got themselves the only human in the entire galaxy that could win a pod race. At least the outlander didn’t leave with the boy as well as his pretty Noobian ship. Or Anakin wins the race but not his freedom. Six years later, the circuit brings him to Coruscant, and the attention of a Sith Lord. My very fucked up Anakin raised as a Sith AU. Status: Unpublished

Shapeshifters AU:

aka space vampire Vader aka sun dragon Skywalkers. So I think we've established by this point that I can't get enough of Eldritch Skywalkers. They are my JAM. So of course I made another eldritch Skywalkers au. There's a few main points to this one. 1. Anakin, and subsequently Luke and Leia, being freaky part-Force abominations, can shapeshift. However, they cannot shapeshift into anything they like. This isn't FMA Envy/ Mystique/ whatever. They can't just look at a person and copy their face. Instead they have to have a deep emotional connection to what they are transforming into, and that transformation is always accessed by strong emotion. While they could theoretically shapeshift into a person they care very close to, the thought of doing so is very unnerving and almost violating, so they don't. Instead, all three Skywalkers have a habit of changing into creatures from Tatooine mythology. 2. Anakin and Beru are half siblings. I love this idea. I cannot express to you how much I love this idea. It just scratches something in my brain so well. Beru is Anakin's younger sister by about a year, and got left on Tatooine with their mother when Anakin was taken by Qui-Gon. She is not a part-Force abomination, but grew up knowing all about Anakin's weirdness. 3. Luke AND Leia are both given to Beru (and Owen) because of said knowledge about Anakin's weirdness. She is probably the best and safest option for raising two baby shapeshifting half-Force abominations. And thus the twins grow up on the same stories Anakin did, with the added knowledge that he could turn into those creatures, and thus, so do they. 4. At some point Anakin found out he could consume the midi-chlorians of other Force sensitives on account of the whole half-Force abomination thing. And since midi-chlorians exist in a persons blood, well. Space vampire. Sidious has a lot of fun feeding Force sensitive people to his pet monster. 5. Speaking of- Vader is more often than not a fuck off huge black hole of a sun dragon. Like, legitimately. In this, sun dragons are essentially living stars in the shape of massive serpents. Vader is what happens when one of those living suns becomes a black hole. 6. Vader is just all around fucked up honestly. He no longer gets to decide what form he takes. His body and everything about it is determined by Sidious' will. His master decides what he turns into, and Vader was always meant to be a monster on a leash. So of course that's what Sidious keeps him as. 7. The twins somehow get roped into the Rebellion. Don't ask me how, I haven't figured out that part just yet. Status: Unpublished

SHORT FICS & ONE-SHOTS

For a Son:

He could not bring her son back to her. Could not even return his body to lay to rest. The least he could do was bring her the grandchild she never even knew she had. He knew it could never forgive what he had taken. Obi-Wan finds out what happened to Shmi Skywalker. Word Count: 4,018 Status: Published

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Lessons the Desert Gave:

No one ever understood how the sand would sink into open wounds. How, no matter how much you scrubbed and washed and clawed, the sand always found its way into your blood. The desert has a way of sticking with you, even long after you left it. (Turns out growing up a slave can really fuck a guy up.) Ficlet/ one-shot collect of character studies looking at all the ways Anakin's childhood would have really messed him up. I'm open to prompts/ requests for this one. Word Count: 1,820 Status: Published / Ongoing

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Dead Letters:

Post RotS. Obi-Wan gets drunk and messages Anakin on his old comm from the war, forgetting that Anakin is dead. For some reason, he keeps on doing it. What could it hurt? Anakin is dead, his comm destroyed on Mustafar just like his body. So he keeps sending messages, because for just a second, it means he can pretend that Anakin is still alive out there somewhere. Then he discovers he doesn't have to pretend. This one could so easily be a crack-fic. Darth Vader gets drunk texts from Obi-Wan telling him all about how awful Tatooine is and that he'll never make fun of Anakin again for hating sand and he keeps getting sunburnt and also Anakin's son is so sweet and cute and just like him until he turned into a surly teenager, why couldn't he just stay an adorable little boy forever? Status: Unpublished

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Jewel Box:

Sidious’ obsession ran deep. What he wanted, he would have- wholly, utterly, and completely. His want for the boy was no different. Sidious POV of Anakin through the years featuring all the horrible messed up things he thinks and does. Big BIG warning for child abuse, grooming, and rape/non-con in addition to Sidious' all around awfulness. This is probably the most awful thing I've ever written. Like holy shit it's fucked up. It's taking me ages to finish because I keep having to take breaks from it. And I'm not even going into any graphic detail. Title comes from that one line in the RotS novel where Sidious calls Vader's suit a jewel box. Status: Unpublished

[kwanisms]

Sweat for Me - h.zitao

soloist masterlist | next »»

➥ dom!Tao × sub!Reader

summary: while visiting a nightclub with your friends while on vacation in Shanghai, you meet a man who not only blows you away with his impeccable conversation but also his ability to listen to you.

Or the one where a man actually listens to you talk and you find that incredibly sexy, so you agree to go back to his hotel. Did I mention he's got a huge --

wc: 4.5k

warnings: adult dialogue, alcohol consumption, female reader, smaller reader, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby

exo taglist: @cixrosie

special tags: @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21

join my taglists: permanent | group.

a/n: I'm only writing this cause @anyamaris has been torturing me with Tao for the last few days in the CoDn discord. So now she can suffer with me 🙃 also, I've never actually written for Tao before so pls be gentle with me. I was listening to Sweat by Zayn when this idea popped up so listen to that to get the vibe I was going for lol as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

smut warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), mutiple orgasms (and reader passes out for like 10 seconds), dom!Tao, he's got a big dick, edging (f receiving), choking, spitting, dirty talk, praise, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, etc), creampie, slight daddy kink (but u gotta squint real hard), and I think that's all but let me know if I missed anything!

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How you ended up in this strange hotel room in the heart of Shanghai, you couldn't remember. At least not at first.

Initially, all you could remember of the previous night was the flashing lights of the club you'd visited with a few of your girlfriends, downing a few drinks and shots and dancing.

As you started to wake, memories came flooding back. Memories of a tall, handsome stranger joining you at the bar, buying you a few drinks, and asking you to leave with him. The same man who was lying tangled in the sheets next to you in what you assumed was his hotel room.

You groaned as the headache of what was surely the start of a hangover set in and lay there with your eyes closed as you tried to remember exactly what had happened last night.

"You look awfully lonely over here," a voice said suddenly, making you look up from your almost empty drink. A morning star and the only drink you ordered during this stretch of your trip.

Turning your head, you were met by a pair of dark brown eyes belonging to possibly the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on. You stared at him, longer than you intended, before finally speaking.

"Uh, sorry," you murmured, looking back down at the melting ice in your glass. The man smiled, amused by your reaction. "May I?" he asked, placing a hand on the back of the bar chair next to you.

You gestured towards the seat, silently telling him to have it.

He thanked you softly as he took a seat beside you, nodding at the bartender who quickly moved down the bar to take his order.

"I'll have a double whiskey, neat," he said, pulling a card from his wallet. You almost missed the way he turned to glance at you before looking back at the bartender.

"And a refill of whatever she's drinking."

You glanced up as the bartender nodded, taking the man's card to open a tab. You leaned forward to get a look at his face. "You don't have to do that," you said, aware of how annoyed you sound.

"I can pay for my own drinks."

The man smiled, not a smug smile, more of an amused yet kind smile before looking up to meet your gaze. "I'm sure you can but I'm also allowed to spend my money how I want, aren't I?" At this, he tilted his head, that same smile on his lips.

You nodded slowly and watched as he sat up straight, tapping his thumbs on the countertop to a beat only he seemed to be able to hear. After staring at him for a couple minutes, the bartender returned with the drinks, setting a short glass full of amber colored liquor before the man and a fresh glass in front of you.

You thanked the bartender, still staring at the man next to you as he raised his glass to take a sip of his drink. He chuckled to himself as he set his drink down. "You know," he started, turning his head to look you dead in the eye.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to stare?"

You felt the burn of embarrassment as you tore your gaze away, focusing instead on your drink. "Sorry," you murmured.

You took a sip of the fruity concoction, almost sighing as the coconut hit your palate. You were aware the man was still staring at you. 'Oh how the tables have turned.'

"So, do you follow your own advice or just tell others what to do?"

The man laughed, looking down at his drink. "You're right. I'm sorry," he apologized. "Very rude of me. I should practice what I preach." It was your turn to smile, biting back a laugh by taking another sip of your drink.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence interrupted only by the music and deep bass of the club music. "So," you started, finally breaking the silence. "Do you have a name?"

The man smiled, leaning against the bar and turning his head to look at you. "I do," he said with a nod. You waited but he said nothing until he met your gaze.

"Oh, you wanted to know what it is?"

You narrowed your eyes at him. "I figured that would be obvious."

He chuckled again before offering his hand for you to shake. You took it hesitantly, glancing up to meet his gaze once more.

"Tao," he said, the same smile from before back. "You can call me Tao." You shook his hand before introducing yourself. "I'm Y/N."

Tao lifted his glass, taking another sip and setting it back down.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/N."

You didn't know what it was about Tao but talking to him seemed like the easiest thing in the world. While your friends were on the dance floor, drunkenly dancing with a few men your group had met a couple nights ago, you found yourself moving to an empty table to talk to Tao, telling him about your 3 month long vacation that was coming to an end.

Not only was he intriguing to listen to but he actually listened to you. He made a point of asking you lots of specific questions about the subjects you brought up.

It was not only refreshing to have someone actually listen to you, it was also incredibly attractive.

You were finishing up your third round of drinks when Tao seemingly made his move. He scooted closer, taking your drink and setting it on the table.

You were vaguely aware he was about to say something but you were distracted by his close proximity and the warmth radiating off his body.

"Look," he said softly. "I don't normally do this but I think you're incredible. Not only are you funny and adventurous but you're insanely gorgeous and I know I'd regret it if I didn't ask you if you'd like to leave with me."

Your heart hammered in your chest as he spoke, eyes darting between his eyes and his lips as he spoke. "If you don't, I won't be mad. I just know I need to shoot my shot before it's too late and-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and pulled back, grinning triumphantly at the look of shock on his face. "I'd love to."

The ride from the club to his hotel was no more than 15 minutes but it felt longer as you could feel his eyes on you. It took everything in you not to straddle him in the back of the taxi.

That would have been embarrassing.

Instead, you were able to keep your composure until you reached his hotel room, waiting patiently as he unlocked the door with his keycard. Once inside, all grace and dignity were tossed aside as Tao grabbed you by the back of your neck, pulling you into a rough kiss.

You'd expected him to be a little timid at first, testing the waters but instead he dove right in. His lips moved against yours with fervor, devouring each moan and whimper as his hands expertly tugged at and removed your clothes, leaving you in your underwear.

Fingers skimmed over your skin as he guided you to the bed, sitting you on the edge before he shrugged his jacket off. Your back hit the mattress as Tao kissed slowly up the inside of your thigh.

Your head spun as he carefully and rather expertly removed your panties with his teeth. To say you were flabbergasted was an understatement. Tao merely smirked, letting the cobalt blue lace fall from his mouth and onto the carpeted floor.

You barely had time to register your lower half was completely bare before you felt his tongue lick a slow strip up your slit, finding your clit with deft precision. The moment he had a taste, his hands held your hips in place as he dug right in, licking, teasing, nipping at the sensitive bud.

Your cheeks burned at the obscene and lewd wet sounds that filled the room, audible only when you weren't moaning Tao's name and whimpering, begging him for more.

Your back arched off the sheets, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin as your orgasm ebbed away for what felt like the third time. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears of frustration as Tao pulled away, chin and lips coated in your essence.

You would have been annoyed had it not been for the fact that Tao was clearly an expert at what he was doing and not only that, he seemed to really enjoy it. If the groans and the way he seemingly lost himself in your taste was anything to go by.

You barely had time to catch your breath before you were being guided to scoot further onto the bed. Somewhere in the time between Tao letting your orgasm slip away to him hovering over you, he'd rid himself of his clothes.

Tattoos you never could have guessed he had covered both his biceps. You didn't have the chance to ask him about them as his lips met yours, tongue slipping past when you moaned, feeling the weight of his cock rest against your wet pussy.

Although you couldn't see it, judging by the weight, you guessed it was about as thick as your wrist, and you would be almost correct.

You whined impatiently as Tao made no effort to move, to enter you properly.

Instead he savored your reactions, trying to move your hips enough to find friction. Your weak attempts to entice him. Though you didn't need to. He was more than willing and able.

Without word or warning, he guided the head of his cock to your sopping entrance and slowly pushed into you. You sucked in a sharp breath, trying not to gasp as the girth slowly stretched your walls, threatening to split you open.

"Oh fuck," you whined. You felt one of Tao's hands grab the back of your thigh, pushing your leg against your stomach and allowing him to sink deeper, faster. You'd never felt anything so deep before.

You let out a shaky moan as he bottomed out and only then did he say anything. "Holy shit. You're so fucking tight," he groaned, head dropping as he lost himself in the feeling of your warm walls enveloping him.

"Tao please," you whined. You didn't have another chance to speak as he complied to your unasked request, pulling out partly and snapping his hips forward. You let out a mix between a gasp and a yelp, surprised by the sheer force.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he almost cooed. "You okay, baby"

The nickname had you melting under him with a moan.

"Y-yes," you whimpered.

Satisfied he hadn't hurt you, Tao set a steady pace, one hand keeping your thigh in place while the other disappeared under the pillow under your head, using his forearm to keep himself from collapsing onto you.

"Fuck, you feel so goddamn good," you heard him groan, hips slamming into you repeatedly, punctuating his next sentence.

"So. Fucking. Good."

Each thrust had you seeing stars, incoherent moans of his name and curses tumbling from your lips as your mind tried to keep up but the only thought occupying your brain was how good his cock felt and how big it was.

"So big," you managed to whimper. Tao chuckled lightly, breath fanning over your cheek as he lowered himself closer to whisper in your ear. "Yeah? You like how my big cock feels in your tight little pussy?"

If you weren't an incoherent mess before, you certainly were now.

"You like how it feels? You like being stuffed full?"

You nodded quickly, unable to answer him. "Oh, such a good little girl, aren't you?" You cried out as he gave you a particularly harsh thrust.

"Taking all of it, just like good girls do," he continued, not missing the way your cunt convulsed around his cock. You were so easy for him to read. Like an open book.

Letting go of your thigh, his hand moved, fingers closing around your throat lightly. The simple action had your already cloudy brain emptying completely as you let yourself succumb to the first wave of your orgasm.

An intense pleasure, unlike any you'd ever felt before crashed over you, stars blinding your vision, heat spreading from your core throughout your body and down into your fingers and toes as they curled in pure ecstasy. Wanton moans and a slew of curses left your lips, Tao's name thrown into the mix.

Unaware Tao was watching you with a deep fascination, you let out a desperate whine, thighs encasing his waist as he helped you ride out your high. "That's it sweetheart," he all but whispered, his pace not slowing for a second.

"That's my good girl."

Your heart pounded in your chest, stomach doing flips at his subtle praise. "You're doing so well," you heard him say, his voice sounding so distant. Like he was far away.

As the aftershocks of your climax subsided and you started to focus on your surroundings, you felt Tao's hand on your neck move, gently cupping your cheek, thumb stroking your skin. "Hey," he whispered. You blinked a couple times as his face came into focus.

"There you are," he said with a chuckle. "Lost you for a second."

"W-what happened?"

"You must have passed out," he answered, looking mildly concerned. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, blinking as you looked around. "How long was I out?"

"Not long," he replied. "A good ten seconds though." At this, he smirked, looking particularly smug. "What?" you whined.

"Dick so good it'll make you pass out?" he asked. "Maybe I should add that to my portfolio." You rolled your eyes, ignoring his snickers. You tried to sit up but realized you weren't quite done.

"Are you still inside me?" you asked incredulously, making Tao laugh again. "You were only out for ten seconds at most, sugar," he answered. "Do you want to stop?" he asked, suddenly serious.

You shook your head quickly. Tao leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. "Then lay back down," he ordered. You did as he instructed, whimpering once as he gave you a couple of cautious thrusts before throwing himself back into it.

"Ah, shit!" you cursed, grabbing his forearm, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao took your chin firmly in his hand, leaning over you. "Open," he instructed. You hesitated, unsure of what he was going to do. "Open your mouth."

You did as he demanded, parting your lips. Tao leaned over further, spitting into your mouth before taking you into a searing kiss. Your walls clenched around him as your second climax approached rapidly.

Another deep thrust had you tumbling over the edge as you came a second time, a cry of Tao's name leaving your mouth.

As he helped you ride out your second orgasm, Tao's hips stuttered, his own orgasm impending. "Oh fuck," he groaned. "M'gonna cum."

"Do it," you mewled. "Cum inside me." Tao let out a breathy laugh. "Is that what you want, princess? Want me to cum inside this pretty little pussy and make it mine?"

You moaned in response, back arching of the bed.

"Is that what you want, baby?"

You weren't sure what drove you to say it but your response had an immediately profound reaction on him.

"Y-yes daddy!"

Tao dropped his head again, letting out an almost animalistic growl as his hips rammed against yours, pounding into you with renewed vigor. Each thrust had you nearly screaming.

Not wanting to risk complaining neighbors, Tao covered your mouth, muffling your cries. "Almost there, baby girl, almost there."

He offered hushed words of encouragement until the fluttering of your walls around his cock pushed Tao over the edge and he came with a low, husky moan, riding out his orgasm until his hips finally came to a halt as he stilled inside your cunt that was now full of not only his cock but also his cum.

Coming down from your respective highs, Tao was finally able to pull out of you and fall onto the bed beside you. You were well aware of his release spilling out of your abused hole but were far too tired to do anything about it.

Tao however did not hesitate to get up, grabbing his boxers from the floor as he disappeared into the bathroom only to return moments later with a wet warm washcloth. You started to drift off as he carefully wiped your skin clean until you felt him get off the bed and pad away.

Moments later, you felt the bed dip as he returned. The sheets rustled as he untucked them, pulling them back and carefully helping you under them.

The last thing you remembered was him turning the bedside lamp off before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close and then it all went black.

Sitting up in a now illuminated hotel room, you were able to catch a glimpse of Tao, sleeping peacefully beside you. His hair was tousled, face half buried into his pillow. The covers were bunched up about halfway down his back, allowing you to see the tattoos that covered his biceps again in the light.

Deciding the best course of action was to gather your things, you slowly untangled yourself from the sheets and was about to scoot to the edge of the bed when a voice rang out. Albeit, a very sleepy one.

"Just where do you think you're going, little one?"

You turned to find Tao was not asleep and was now looking at you with his only visible eye. You knew you'd been busted but decided to play it off. "I thought I'd take a shower," you answered.

Tao raised his head to look at you properly. "Really?"

You nodded, looking down at him. He shrugged and rolled onto his back, reaching to grab his phone and check the time. "I'll call for breakfast," he announced as you got up from the bed and hurried into the bathroom.

Deciding a shower might actually be a good idea, you did just that, standing under the scalding water as you shampooed and conditioned your hair, scrubbed your body and washed away the remnants of last night's makeup.

Once you finished and got out, you were checking your appearance in the bathroom mirror when the door opened and Tao poked his head in. "Breakfast is here," he said before he opened the door further. "And I got you this."

In his hand he held a fluffy white robe. You took it, thanking him and he shut the door behind him, leaving you to change out of the towel and into the robe to save your dignity.

In the room, he'd already donned some sweatpants and a plain black tee and was looking over the food that had been delivered.

You hadn't gotten a good look at the room the previous night but could now make out that it was a king suite with an incredible view of downtown Shanghai. You were probably on the 30th floor at least. Tao had just finished setting the small table by the window when you entered the room.

He glanced up and gave you a grin. "I wasn't sure what you like so I got a bit of everything," he explained as you walked over.

"That's really nice of you. Thank you." You moved to sit across from him and quickly helped you with your chair. "It's the least I could do." He gave you another smile as he sat across from you. The two of you ate in relative silence until you came to your senses.

"Oh my god," you exclaimed, making Tao jump in surprise at your sudden outburst. "My friends are gonna kill me!" Tao swallowed his food before speaking. "Hey, calm down it's okay-"

"No it's not! They have no idea where I am! Or if I'm even alive!"

You got up quickly and started to search around the room. Tao watched from his seat at the table. "What are you looking for?" he asked. "My phone!" you exclaimed as you continued to search.

"It's plugged in on your side of the bed, will you please come back to breakfast?"

Tao didn't sound annoyed, just reassuring you that it was all okay.

"I need to call them."

Tao swallowed another bite of food before responding. "They already called."

You rounded on him. "What?"

He nodded, assuring you it was the truth. "They called earlier. I answered and let them know you were perfectly safe and sound and that you were sleeping," he explained. "I sent them a photo of you asleep, sorry for that, and then explained where we were and what happened."

Your heart sank. "Did you tell them… everything?"

Tao smiled again, getting up and crossing the room to your side. "No, not everything. Just the basics. I'm sure they filled in the blanks themselves," he said as he gently took your phone from your hands and set it back down before taking your hand and leading you back to the table.

The two of you continued to eat until Tao spoke up.

"I know this might be a little forward," he started, capturing your attention. "But I was wondering if you might indulge me."

You set your utensils down, offering him your undivided attention.

"I told you last night that I don't normally hook up with anyone. At least, not someone I met in a nightclub," he continued, glancing up at you and meeting your gaze. "But you? You're different."

You tilted your head to the side, giving him a puzzled look.

"Different how?"

Tao leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm as he studied you.

"You're so different from anyone I've ever talked to. I've never met someone like you," he answered. "I was wondering," he hesitated before shaking his head. "No, I was hoping that you might consider staying in Shanghai for just a bit longer."

Your eyes widened as the implications of his words set in.

'Stay in Shanghai?'

"I'm not sure I could afford that," you said softly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Tao's smile didn't diminish. "You wouldn't have to spend anything," he replied. "I was thinking you could keep me company."

"K-keep you company?" Now you were properly confused. Tao nodded. "Yeah. You know how in Pretty Woman, the guy asks her to spend the week with him and pays her a lot of money to pretend to be his girlfriend while he's on business?"

You nodded slowly. "Well, the only differences are that I'm not paying you to sleep with me or be my girlfriend," he explained so nonchalantly. "I just want to spend some time with you. If you aren't comfortable sharing a hotel room with me, I can put you up in your own room."

You looked at his face, looking for any sign of deceit or dishonesty but found only curiosity looking back at you. "Can I think about it?" you finally asked.

Tao smiled and got up, crossing around the table to where you sat. He combed his fingers through your hair before gently taking your chin in his hand, tilting your head back to look up.

"I'm going to take a shower. So think about it while I'm gone. If you want to stay, I'll send someone to pick up your belongings from wherever you're staying. If not, I'll take you back myself."

Before you had a chance to respond, Tao pressed a short kiss to your lips and quickly crossed the suite to the bathroom.

While he was gone, you cleaned up the table and returned to the bed, flipping on the television set while the shower turned on. You scrolled through the channels, finally settling on some soap opera. While watching, you went through your phone and saw that Tao had indeed explained through text to your friends where you were as well as including a picture and a short clip of you sleeping.

You decided to check in with your friends, to let them know you were alright. Their responses ranged from angry to relieved.

Bai🪷: omg I'm so glad ur okay 😭

Gwen🕷🕸: omg ur so stupid Y/N! How could you leave with some strange man!?

You: correct me if I'm wrong but did you leave with a strange man in Taiwan? 🤔

Gwen🕷🕸: yeah and he was a total weirdo! Have we learned nothing?!

Bai🪷: only that ur taste in men is trash. Next

You: thank you Bai!

Gwen🕷🕸: I'm being attacked help

Bai🪷: drama queen 🙄

Gwen🕷🕸: hey! U take that back

You: ANYWAY. I'm fine. Tao is not some weirdo. He's staying in this really fancy hotel. We're on like the 30th floor in some penthouse suite or some shit. it's really boujie

Bai🪷: y/n always finds the rich ones 😔

Gwen🕷🕸: did someone say sugar daddy??? 👀🤑

You: I'll pretend I didn't see that

Bai🪷: so when r u coming back?

You: uh… that's the thing.

Gwen🕷🕸: oh no. No. Not doing this. Get back here missy. We have to leave in three days!

Bai🪷: let her speak Gwen

You: thanks Bai

You: anyway. He's asked me to stay with him for a bit.

Bai🪷: whoa seriously?

You: yeah! He's even offered to put me up in a second room

You: he said he wants to spend some time with me

You heard the shower cut off and the curtain rustle as Tao no doubt got out of the shower. Going back to your messages you read the latest in the thread.

Gwen🕷🕸: does anyone else not see the serial killer potential here?

Bai🪷: no. Just u You: no only u

Gwen🕷🕸: boo. democracy sux

Bai🪷: so do you think you're gonna do it?

Bai🪷: wait a sec. First of all, do you even want to?

You: I think so. I wouldn't say no to more time in Shanghai

You: idk should I do it?

Gwen🕷🕸: I vote no.

Bai🪷: I vote yes!

Gwen🕷🕸: of course you would 😒

Bai🪷: and exactly what does THAT mean miss I'm-going-to-this-strange-man-I-met-in-Taiwan's house without anyone else around?

Gwen🕷🕸: stop making me look bad! I still vote no!

Bai🪷: and I still vote yes

Gwen🕷🕸: 😡

Bai🪷: so it looks like the final decisions up to you, y/n

Before you could respond, the bathroom door opened and Tao appeared in the same clothes he'd worn into the bathroom. He had a towel in his hand and was currently drying his hair. He made eye contact with you as you set your phone on the bedside table and smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I think drying my hair is my least favorite part of showering," he said with a chuckle. You smiled in return and waited for him to speak.

"So, have you had time to think about my offer?"

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you studied Tao's body language. He nodded carefully before looking back up, meeting your gaze.

"So, what's your answer going to be?"

[kestalsblog]

What are your thoughts on Craigman?

And for the headcanons thing, I love to think they would bond over music! They've both shown to be very into it and I love the idea of them bonding over it :3 ❤️

(Like, think of them becoming a duo? Stan writes their songs, Eric is the main singer, and they both play? They become super popular, travel the world touring and live their happily ever after 🥹💙

There seriously needs to be more AUs with these two... :( )

Ooh, Craigman! 🌶️ Honestly, I think I could see Cartman with anyone if I squinted hard enough. I love that ridiculous, dominant guy LOL. They'd have an interesting dynamic to explore, considering Eric's huge, boisterous personality and Craig's subdued stoicism. A good blend 👀 You can also share your thoughts on the ship!

Actually, Craig is one of my faves. I am perpetually trying to figure out fics about him.

Omg! I love the Stanman band 😭 Eric has some serious musical talents. He's gonna end up singing some crazy gushy stuff with sweetheart Stan writing their music, but it's the price he has to pay. Them traveling the world as the most iconic duo, I love it! 😍 Eric would get really jealous of Stan's fans though.

The Stanman tag is seriously skimpy 😔 I live for the rare moments when someone makes fanart of them.

Thanks for the ask! 🫶This was fun!! You and others feel free to send more! I really like receiving them 😊

[seeingteacupsindragons]

MARI DON'T READ THIS.

This post is basically a sum of my thoughts as I read through the latest YuuMori chapter, which is not a good replacement for Twitter threads, but it is what it is.

Anyway.

The tag line is about William's eyes burning passionately scarlet and shining like fire, basically. YES THANK YOU WE KNOW

Random terrorists are like, "Well, this world fucking sucks, but it only sucks for people like me, so we're spreading the pain around" and this middle class lady is like, "So life sucks so you think that validates violence?" and like *squints at William very hard*

William has a long ramble about synesthesia and Helena's face when she realizes there's like, an actual noted phenomenon explaining why she's like this is so special, honestly. I can relate to this idea of, "I'm a freak," "Oh, there's...a word? It's not just me?"

William being like, "You're not a freak, you're special and unique and an individual." We love him

Yes William we know you have the hots for Sherlock same thing here tbh

Honestly William is also in this category

Honestly so are most of the characters in this series

William: "I like that kind of person." YES WE KNOW

Helena: You're too hot to say things like that it's damaging to the heart

William's coded letter to Patterson is everything. I love how he signs it

OH, I GET TO UPDATE MY NAME CHART

They're trying to convince me Liam is dead lol

This story canonically happens after Bond's transition, now

[jhugas]

‘RELAX BABY’- Jung Hoseok

Inspired by the best: @sxtaep ‘guide me’ <3

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Genre: smut

Pairing: softdom!friend!Hoseok X sub!virgin!afab!Reader

Summary: after your friend Hoseok learns that you never had sex nor fingered, he decides to help you…

Word count: ~1,6k

Warnings/tags: softdom!hoseok, sub!reader, ONLY fingering, sex talk, cum eating (m eating, no oral sex), first time, clothed sex, fbw, slight fluff at the beginning if you squint, goodgirl!reader, maybe a pt 2 one day.

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You and Hoseok know each other for few years now, you both talked about every topic possible…except one. Sex.

He didn’t have any problem talking about it, he even tried initiating discussing it, but you always changed the subject. 

The reason is simple: you’re a virgin. 

You do have knowledge but it’s not like you had experience, and if you started talking about sex he’d guess in a second that you’re a virgin and that’s the last thing you want. How embarrassing would it be if he learns, THE expert in sex that had more experience than anyone else, that his now very close friend is a virgin? He already taught you so many things just thanks to him telling you his adventures. You didn’t want to think about it. 

You weren’t jealous… you did have plenty of opportunities, but you were scared.

Right now it’s around 9pm, Hoseok stayed at your house the whole day and was probably also going to stay the night. He’s playing on your PS4 and talking to you at the same time. He was telling you everything about a night he had few days ago and your reaction brought suspicions to you. 

‘It’s crazy how much she was shaking, never seen this’

He cockily said

‘She was shaking? Why’

You asked… innocently

‘What do you mean why? Your ex didn’t please you well enough?’

He laughed

‘Maybe she was just cold’

‘Love do you have any idea of what you’re talking about right now? She was shaking because of the pleasure I gave her, she started right before cumming and never stopped since lol.‘

And he didn’t stop trapping you until he finally realized, you never had sex. Never felt anything inside of you. Clit play was ‘enough’ for you. You never told him you had sex, he just deduced this since you had an ex. But now that the secret is out, you just had to tell him the whole truth.

‘C’mon baby, you know that I won’t judge you. I’m not like that, tell me everything, what’s wrong?’

He gently asked putting down his controller and looking at you softly.

‘Well… actually, I never had sex, I was always too scared to put anything inside of me.’

‘You never ever masturbated?!’

He asked again with a shocked expression

‘I did but I only played with my clit. I never felt confident and secure enough to put fingers or dildos in me, even though trust me, I tried.’

You blushed from shyness

‘Aww how cute. You never felt confident or secure enough to do it. But don’t you feel secure and comfortable with me?’

‘I do. So?’

Was he really about to ask you to masturbate right now? Was that what he meant?

‘So why aren’t you doing it right now?’

Your face drops. You knew what he was talking about.

‘Doing what?’

You asked to make sure what he really meant.

‘Masturbating! Why aren’t you touching yourself in front of me when I’m here? You can try anything with me, I’ll help you. And I’ll help you finger yourself, and even put a dick in if you deserve it.’

Now that he said it… There’s no way he meant something else. You think a few seconds: masturbate in front of him? He’ll help you? And what if maybe… that wasn’t much of a bad idea?

‘Well you know what? Maybe I’d appreciate your help, but just to let you know. I’m shy.’

‘Don’t worry babygirl, and to let you know, I’ve never helped anyone masturbate or whatever, so not only this is special because of you, but also because I’ve never done this. I’ll try my best to be caring and slow. A different me.’

He says as he sits down next to you and looks at you for a little moment. He decides to ask you one more time for your consent, you accept, and he puts on some slow and chill playlist.

He turns off a bit more the lights and lays down beside you, he asks you to open your legs and you do.

You were wearing a skirt with little panties under so it was perfect for him. ‘Great, he won’t see everything’ you told yourself, shy and scared of what he could think at the view of your clothless cunt. He puts a pillow under your neck so that you could rest comfortably and finally slides his long, skinny fingers on your tummy. Tracing on it as he gives you butterflies and slowly going towards the elastic of your skirt, but instead of passing under it as he was about to, he thinks about it twice and decides to pass them pretty fingers on top of the skirt, slowly arriving to your pussy that’s already started to get wet.

His husky voice whispering sweet nothing in your ears, his eyes examining your body language and facial expressions. His nice, masculine and fresh scent too, and even better, from a perfume you bought for him. He was slowly turning you on.

Eventually, his fingers arrived at your cunt first and steadily started rubbing it in circle movements. You knew how good clipper play feels, but when someone else is doing it and they’re good at it, it’s more than heavenly. You feel yourself heating up a bit and start to breathe irregularly.

‘I’m only getting started, don’t think that this will end without my fingers in you.’

He warned. You whimpered as he started to go faster, changing the movements and pressing kisses on your neck and close to your lips. He went ‘mhh?’ after you moaned or whimpered. He was such a tease.

After slowly increasing the movements of his fingers on your clit, he finally reached your entrance. Gathering your wetness and spreading it around your tight hole making sure to either not touch you with his nails, or gently and carefully tickle it. After going around it for a little moment, he couldn’t wait anymore and pushed one of his fingers inside. You moan at the sudden move and new sensation. It never felt good when you did it, but somehow, he made it easy and pleasurable.

‘Relax baby, let me do the work. Just close your eyes and enjoy.’

Your body automatically relaxes and a wave a pleasure comes to your brain. Your walls giving him more space for his finger to fuck. He caresses, gets in and out, makes you even wetter and makes you moan. No matter how hard you tried to close your legs, he’d push them back open hands down. And when you were already starting to get close, you started begging him for another finger.

‘Plea-please Hoseok~! Another one! I need-uh I need more!’

You kept on getting closer, your walls getting tighter and tighter.

‘You deserve it, don’t you? Ohh aren’t you my good girl?’

He teased. He’d love to hear you say that you’re his little good girl.

‘Yes! I’m your good girl~ only yours!’

You were under his complete influence, but you didn’t care, it was way more than worth it.

He stops a few seconds and slowly slides his other finger in, and starts to go faster again. His fingers going in and out of you at a perfect pace, him looking deep in your eyes and kissing your jaw, the moans, screams and wet slapping sounds resonating in the bedroom are slowly making you crazy. You feel yourself being on the edge as he curses under his breath for the unbelievable feeling, of his fingers being in a hole that’s getting tighter every second. 

He’d fuck you for hours, you were too good to be true, too good to be a virgin. He knew something was blocking you when you were always avoiding the sex topic, and he was happy to be the one helping you. To be honest, he didn’t want anyone else to have you. He wanted you for himself, and himself only. Well maybe… he’d let Jimin hit it too, while Hoseok’s watching or helping. Could be fun. But for the moment, all he had to do was to give you a good first impression of sex and masturbation, and for the moment, everything was going well. Fucking you was one of his sexual fantasy. To him, you’re different from everyone else, but you don’t know that yet…

When you feel like you’re about to cum, your body takes over you. You roll your eyes back before shutting them down, open wide your mouth and start to shake. Your body starts heating up and Hoseok goes the fastest and roughest possible for you like you were used to it. You finally reach your highest and release your semen all over his fingers. You’re shaking uncontrollably and cumming for a good minute. That was the strongest orgasm you ever had. You felt yourself so weak as you finally relaxed your body once again. You feel his breath on your neck.

He gently pulls out his fingers covered in cum off of you and brings them closer to him. You wonder what’s his next move but before you could ask he shoves them into his open mouth. Twirling his tongue around them and tasting your tasty seed. He closes his eyes as he pulls them out.

‘You okay?’

He asked, smirking.

‘Yeah… I’m alright’

Now you know why she was shaking…

‘Maybe I should've eaten you out, or wait and use my cock instead. But we can do this another time, you seem ready for it, even though no one really is.’

He smiles, takes your hand and gets you up. Then he puts his hands under your thighs and easily lifts you up.

‘Let’s go to the bathroom, we can either shower, or continue what we just started. Your choice, miss.’

He said while caressing your smooth thigh.

Thank you for reading!

If you liked it please like or reblog <3

[hongthoven]

Bad Habits Pt. 2 (smut)

(dom!hwa x sub!fem reader)

❅ pairing : seonghwa (ateez) x fem reader

❅ rate : +18 | smut

❅ warnings : explicit content, strong language

❅ chaptered | one-shot

❅ status : in progress (chapter 2/?)

❅ tags&stuff : dom!hwa, sub!reader, bit of seonjoong/matz thrown in there, bit of hongjoong x reader cause I can't get away from him, Hwa is a control freak, reader is a whimpering sub, rough sex will occur, spanking, choking, spitting, name calling, inevitable babygirling of reader, reader has both a praise kink and degrading kink lol what a freak, bit of voyeurism if you squint

❅ plot :

Please read part one here ♥

❅ author's note :

Not much to say apart from the fact I'm sorry it took so long and I hope this part isn't underwhelming (not that I'm an anxious person begging for everyone to love their writings, you know? haha...ha ha)

Please please p l e a s e - if you like it, interact? reblog, comment etc. Your support fill my heart and soul with little marshmallow clouds made of love ♥

Obviously this does not reflect any Ateez member's actual personality or behavior - everything is 100% fiction.

❅ Words : 4.5k

The elevator suddenly came to a stop as you felt your entire weight crushing down your knees, tingles traveling up and down your body as your stomach flipped at the sudden change of gravity into the small cubicle. 

“Fuck- that’s my good girl” Seonghwa growled as he grabbed a solid hold of your hair to push you forward, forcing himself between your lips as he started thrusting, filling your throat with an obvious urge to make you gag over his cock. His head tilted back, eyes closed, Seonghwa made sure to focus on your touch and the sounds you inevitably made as he forcefully choked you with all the desire he had built through the entire evening. 

You’d seen the way his eyes had darkened as the night went by, how he kept gazing at you, sparing you a couple smirks every now and then as he ghosted his thumb over his bottom lip, head probably filled with the nastiest thoughts about how he’d get to entertain himself as soon as it would be just the two of you. You were actually surprised to see him composed through the whole cab drive home, his hand almost too politely resting upon your thigh while the occasional glimpses of his face definitely called for a filthier program. 

Watching the scenery change as you rolled down the car window slightly, eyes squinting at the bright city lights, you were thankful for the cold air of a late night as it helped you slowly get rid of the dizziness, alcohol still running through your veins. You could feel the sweat pooling at the back of your neck both from having a little too much to drink on a half-empty stomach and Seonghwa’s body radiating next to yours, his presence only making this drive feel like the wildest roller coaster ride of your entire life. 

Still- he didn’t speak a single word until you were left alone together in the elevator taking you up to his place. By the time you hit the tenth floor, Seonghwa finally broke the heavy silence between you two, his stern tone commanding you to kneel for him as his face suddenly changed to a look you knew too well and while the idea of the elevator doors unexpectedly opening to let more people in, exposing you in the most humiliating way simply petrified you, there was no point denying how much you craved his praises right now. 

So here you were, drooling over his throbbing cock, throat burning from the way he kept hitting the back repeatedly, eyes filling with more tears with each thrusts of his hips against your lips, holding on for dear life as you could feel the oxygen escaping your lungs while the only thing saving you from passing out were his hands firmly holding you hair up into a ponytail. By now, the delicacy of your updo was long gone, completely ruined by Seonghwa’s grip into your scalp. 

You were only able to taste a first drip of precum, bitterness hitting your tongue for a brief second as Seonghwa hit the elevator button, making it move again. Heart traveling up to your throat as your entire body seemed to clench out of fear of getting caught, you clumsily lifted yourself up, using Seonghwa’s arms for support as he hastily buried your face into his chest upon hearing the familiar ting, his free hand zipping his pants up, tucking his rock hard member under his belt while looking completely unbothered. 

Flustered, you gave a shy glimpse to the elderly couple joining the ride, your entire face hidden behind Seonghwa’s broad shoulders except for your eyes and while you only wished to disappear, praying for none of them to notice the redness of your cheeks, you couldn’t help but look up to your lover’s face, once again stunned by the sight of him quietly chuckling to himself as he wrapped a protective arm around you, his other hand brushing your hair to make it neat again. 

You knew he was enjoying this- the inevitable rush mixed with the thrill of getting caught as he kept you close like a secret while you swallowed his taste through a nervous gulp. 

[ … ]

There was nothing ‘domestic’ about your relationship with Seonghwa. 

Still, his place somehow gave you a type of comfort you never expected from an expensive penthouse with an open terrace towering over the entire city. Wealthiness had never been a major turn-on or even something you actually looked for in a man, but everything about Seonghwa’s posh attitude truly piqued your interest and -not that you would ever admit it- made you crave him more than anything in the world. 

You watched as he took off his jacket, putting it away in his walk-in dressing, a hundred of perfectly aligned suits as the impeccable reflection for Seonghwa’s control freakness.

Part of your mixed feelings regarding his appartement was the way everything seemed to be there for a specific reason, from the pile of books piled up on the coffee table, sizes and colors matching the immaculate carpet on the wooden floor to the paintings on the wall, you could tell Seonghwa had definitely been part of the entire process of home staging this place, every single trinkets screaming Park Seonghwa in a way you couldn’t even figure out. 

Still, it felt like home. 

It took you a couple minutes to realize you’d been following him around the place like a good puppy, your body like a magnet chasing his voice through the rooms until you eventually ended up in the bathroom with Seonghwa wiping the mess of your red lipstick from your chin with a wet cloth.

“Had fun tonight, then?” His voice was calm, composed, much softer than usual and it caught you by surprise, just like every time he switched his aftercare mode on. Obviously, the fact he would actually clean you up was still his way of keeping control over you mixed with his borderline, cleaning OCD that often clashed with his compulsive need to make a mess out of you. 

“Yeah? It was okay— didn’t have many people to talk to cause I’m not quite the social butterfly you are…” You smiled as  Seonghwa poured you a glass of water, waiting for you to gargle through it and wash away the mix of alcohol and precum. 

“Spit” He commanded, watching as you obeyed without a flinch, definitely used to his little routine and how he only seemed to chit-chat while doing so. His unconscious moves led him to open one of his drawers to grab a comb and a thin hair tie so he could tame your locks into a perfectly neat ponytail. Sometimes it felt like you were nothing but a ragdoll between Seonghwa’s fingers as he always made sure you looked immaculate for him - up to the point you often wondered if he liked you clean just so he would be the only one to ruin the hard work. His absolute urge to control everything simply knew no boundaries. 

Seonghwa was extremely focused on your hairdo when you decided to make a bold, yet dangerous move. 

“Hongjoong was kinda nice, though” You tried your best not to smirk cockily, your backside still burning from the first mere mention of the man earlier that evening - but while you expected Seonghwa to instantly get mad, you were baffled to see him flinch for a brief second, his character collapsing in front of your eyes as his face softened up for the first time- definitely too fast for you to even question it. Maybe he was genuinely upset to have you mentioning another man when he considered you as his possession. 

“Was he, now? Should’ve gotten his number” Seonghwa stated, coldly as he seemed to get back to his original, unwreckable self. 

“Thought I could get it from you actually” 

You knew you had gotten too far as soon as the words escaped your lips, a shy smirk fleeting through your face as you locked eyes with a very frustrated Seonghwa, his fist already grabbing your throat to make sure you would keep your gaze on him, 

“See- this is exactly why I like you better with a mouthful, baby… You just can’t seem to use those lips wisely” His warm breath was still heavy on wine as his lips barely brushed yours for a quick second, making you crave for a longer touch. You knew your neck would definitely bruise from the strong grasp of his fingers over your skin, but the thought of keeping him with you throughout the next day was enough to power through his chokehold. 

Seonghwa remained silent for a while as he led you both to the living room, briefly abandoning you to the comfort of his ridiculously huge couch so he could pour two glasses of red wine and get back to you. The room was bathed with the city lights and a surprisingly starry night, turning every piece of furniture into a different shade of purple and blue. Seonghwa looked deadly as ever in the twilight haze, his moves smooth as a floating angel while the darkness of his eyes seemed to hide a thousand unspeakable secrets. 

Quick to replace you on the couch, Seonghwa forced you to stand up between his legs as he made himself comfortable, taking a sip with his eyes glued all over your body. 

“Take off your clothes” He commanded while his eyes had already started to peel you off your dress. You weren’t sure if you’d heard him mumble “shouldn’t take long” but the way his lips curved into a smirk definitely brought you back to the vivid memory of your bare cunt and the way he had forced you to walk around strangers like a doll in a shop window. 

As you found yourself once again exposed and vulnerable, stepping out of your dress as the smooth fabric grazed your legs until it pooled at your feet, you couldn’t ignore the burning sensation at the pit of your stomach while Seonghwa’s gaze seemed to intensify with every move you made. Unhooking your bra in a single, swift move, you fought the urge to cover your breast with your palms as you now remained completely naked in front of the man of your dreams. It was no surprise to see him stop you as soon as you tried to untie your heels from your ankles, Seonghwa’s obvious kink on full display as you recalled the many occasions you two had fucked while you had nothing but stilettos on. Something about the rush of it all made it seem wilder, every single time. 

“So fucking perfect” He practically growled, eyes filled with hunger as he scooted to the edge of the couch with one of his hands discarding his glass to the coffee table while the other brushed the side of your thigh, fingers dancing upon your skin, goosebumps covering your flesh with each stroke of his skilled palm. 

“Spread your legs for me, baby” 

Again, a command. 

Looking down, you realized Seonghwa’s gaze had been stolen from your own eyes as he instantly dived his chin between your thighs while expertly spreading you open with two of his fingers, smirking to himself as he was faced with your glistening lips and the inevitable effect of his constant teasing. 

While you expected him to make a conceited comment about how he had gotten you “this wet” without actually doing much, a loud gasp escaped your lips as soon as you felt the tip of his tongue tickling your clit at the slowest pace, almost making your knees buckle from the astonishing relief of having him there, at last. 

Keeping you still with one hand firmly resting upon your hip, Seonghwa started to feast on you like a starved man, his mouth skillfully sucking on your cunt as the excessively obscene sound of his tongue collecting your arousal from your slit was already getting you close to the edge.  Traveling his free hand up your chest until his fingers were firmly pressed against your lips, Seonghwa waited for you to suck on his digits, coating them with your own saliva while his mouth knew no mercy. No matter how many times you had allowed this man to fuck you, it was always a surprise to see just how filthy he could get and how unapologetic he was when it came to wreck you from the core. 

Looking down you watched as he meticulously toyed with your entrance, spreading your saliva all over it and getting you prepared for the assault of his slim yet painfully long fingers. By now, Seonghwa was nose deep into your cunt, his chin dripping with your own wetness as he finally pushed two of his fingers inside of you, wasting no time curling and hooking them right against the spot you needed him the most. 

“Fuck— S—Seonghwa—” You couldn’t help but moan, your legs practically shaking from the intensity of his pace and red at the cheeks from the crude sound of your juice spilling into his palm. 

Finally looking up to catch the flusteredness of your face, Seonghwa flashed you the naughtiest smirk as he kept your clit locked between his tongue and the top row of his teeth, the excruciating pain feeling like you were getting stabbed right into your cunt. Biting your bottom lip just so you wouldn’t scream, you couldn’t help but think about how crazy it was to be standing there completely naked, pussy spread open for this man -still tightly wrapped in matching black shirt and pants- as he gorged himself from your dripping hole. 

You couldn’t tell exactly when his other hand had abandoned your hip to travel down his own lap, pulling his zipper down to grab a solid hold of his throbbing member. While your eyes couldn’t stay away from the obscenity of the way his cheeks seemed to hollow with drag of his tongue along your slit, you were quick to notice the redness of his head and the couple drops of precum spilling along his tight fist, rolling past his veiny hands like a volcano about to erupt. 

Without a word, Seonghwa gave your cunt one last, painfully slow lick, the tip of his tongue plunging into your core to collect more of your juice, humming to himself like you were the best thing he had ever tasted. Then he left you craving for his touch, only for a couple seconds as the hand he was initially using to finger you knuckle deep was now pressed into your lower back, glazing your skin with your own arousal as he pushed you forward to sit on his lap, his other fist aligning himself with your slit as you slowly impaled yourself above his throbbing cock, welcoming him like a perfectly fitted sleeve. 

There was something about the way Seonghwa remained fully clothed as you bounced over his lap while completely naked, your heels digging at the back of your thighs as your legs rested on each side of his thighs, perfectly folded. 

“That’s it baby– ride me like a good girl–” Seonghwa groaned, both his hands fondling every single part of your body, from your thighs, to your ass, pinching your nipples on the way until both of his palms eventually rested on your cheeks, framing your face. 

“Tell me who you belong to” His voice was getting raspier, matching the darkness of his look as he scanned your entire body, finding pride in the way your cunt seemed to suck him in perfectly. 

“Y–y-you— I’m y–y–yours” You almost cried out, the pleasure almost getting unbearable at this point- but still, it was nothing compared to the aching pain of his palm hitting your cheek as he flashed you a disapproving look.

“Do better” He ordered, fondling your burning cheek with his thumb pulling at your bottom lip. 

“I’m yours– Se-Seonghwa” You corrected yourself, remembering how he had told you to always use his name whenever there was a sense of belonging in his commands. 

“Good girl” He growled, pushing his hips to meet your pace and inevitably hitting your most sensitive spot as he wrapped his arms behind your lower back, one of his hands holding onto his wrist to keep you tightly locked against his pelvis while he rocketed inside of you, each thrust coming with a louder growl as he turned into a beast. 

Soon enough, the room was filled with the slapping sound of your ass against his lap mixed with both of your voices as your moans increased with every second leading you to climax. 

“Don’t you dare” Seonghwa warned as he could feel you starting to clench around him, your moans turning into a whimpering mess. 

“I c—--c—-I can’t! Seonghwa— please!” You whined, begging for mercy as Seonghwa only gave you the most furious look, his hips suddenly too still for your liking as you tried your best to grind over his lap regardless of his will to interrupt your orgasm. 

“Of course you can, and you fucking will— get up!” Seonghwa snapped, pushing you away from him while you almost sobbed from the sadistic edging, legs barely keeping you up as you clenched over nothing. 

“P-p-p-please, Seonghwa” You almost choked on a sob as you watched him getting up, ripping his belt off the loops of his pants in one swift move with nothing but anger in his eyes.

“Looks like you forgot who’s in charge there, baby—” He scolded, grabbing you by the hair to push you forward, face down into the back of the couch as he pinned both of your arms behind your back, using his belt to secure your wrists together. 

“Spread your legs” His stone cold voice ordered, matching the brutal strike of his palm against your butt cheek as you once again obeyed his command. 

“Can’t even fucking wait to cum, uh? Such a fucking greedy slut you are–” Seonghwa growled, tracing your slit with the head of his cock, coating your crack with your arousal as you felt him spit right between your cheek, making you flinch at the thought. 

Dizzy and overwhelmed with a thousand conflicting feelings, you didn’t know which part of it all was actually worse. The fact you could feel yourself dripping all over your thighs from getting too close to climax without an actual relief- the pain of having your arms pinned down behind your back and your wrists getting sliced by the thick leather of his belt, or the aching pain of his head pushing against your aching cunt without ever taking a proper dip. 

“What happened to that big mouth, baby?” He smirked, keeping one hand tightly wrapped into your hair while the other traveled from your throat to your mouth, spreading your lips open. 

“If you want it, beg for it” Seonghwa added, the hair tie he had meticulously wrapped around your locks earlier slipping off as he pulled at your ponytail with one strong grip, forcing your head to rest against his shoulder, his mouth nibbling at your earlobe. 

“I said beg-for-it” He insisted as you could definitely feel his cock twitching between your cheeks from the thrill of having you under his spell all over again. 

“Please. Please. Seonghwa. Please. I can’t take it” You hated how pathetic you sounded right now, voice trembling, throat clogged with a fair mix of shame and horniness while you couldn’t help but grind all over him, pushing your ass into his pelvis as your entire body craved for his touch. 

“Such a good slut for me— my perfect little fuck doll…” You could feel the warmth of his breath against your neck, your skin covered with goosebumps as he chuckled softly into your ear. 

Seonghwa pushed himself into your aching core with no warning- as expected, but still, the aching pain as he bottomed you out stole a shriek out of your lips, your entire body shaking under the heaviness of his thrusts as he pushed you forward like a rag doll, slamming his hips into you at a crazy pace, each thrust going a little deeper than before. Unable to keep your balance with your arms tightly wrapped behind your back, you felt your knees buckling, forcing you to facepalm into the couch as Seonghwa kept a strong grip of your hips with both hands, using your own hips as his personal little fuck toy like you were simply made of gum. 

“Now. Come” You were thankful for his unexpected approval as you knew your body wasn’t able to hold it much longer. Dizzier than ever, a thousand stars flashing in front of you, you could feel yourself clenching compulsively around Seonghwa’s cock, the fullness of his shaft not even enough to avoid some spilling. 

Panting, gasping for air, body covered with sweat, you couldn’t move a finger as the most incredible waves of overwhelming pleasure weighed down on you, making you feel like an entire building had fallen on top of you, keeping you crushed to the couch. Seconds later, you heard Seonghwa’s deep voice break into a couple whimpers as he spilled his load inside of you, filling you up with the warmest filth. 

While he remained still inside of you for a while, the neverending spasms of his dick inside of you making you clench all over again, Seonghwa was quick as usual to disappear, only coming back with a warm, wet cloth for you to clean yourself up and a bathrobe to keep you warm while he escaped to the bathroom to take a shower. 

You were familiar with the surprising lack of intimacy following sex with that man and how he seemed to only shower by himself, probably to keep his clean-freak routine intact, but still, you often found yourself wishing he would stay for a bit longer and keep you in his arms for a while. The more time you spent with him, the more you seemed to crave another kind of intimacy- although you’d rather die than admit it. 

Slowly massaging your wrists where you could still see the obvious red marks of the leather eating your flesh, you made yourself comfortable on the couch again, grabbing your phone to keep yourself busy while Seonghwa was away. Your entire body seemed to ache and you definitely needed a long, hot shower yourself, but whenever you found yourself in Seonghwa’s place, you just knew you had to go by his rules. 

As you could hear the faint sound of water from the bathroom, your mind trying to picture the gobsmacking sight of Seonghwa’s perfect figure behind the foggy glass of his ridiculously big shower stall, you unexpectedly started to think about Hongjoong, wondering if he, too, had often found himself on this couch, still pretty much filled with Seonghwa’s cum, longing for his touch all over again. Somehow, the thought of them together unconsciously made you rub your thighs together as you pictured Seonghwa ramming himself into Hongjoong’s much smaller figure while keeping his arms locked behind his back just like he had done to you a couple minutes earlier. 

Now, not only were you curious, but had gotten yourself craving for details of their past relationship- wondering how everything had started and why it had ended. From the way Seonghwa seemed to react at the mere mention of Hongjoong’s name, you could tell things must have gotten a bit heavy towards the end- still, Hongjoong seemed perfectly fine sharing their story. 

If only you had asked for his number. 

If only you had any way to reach him. 

Giving a quick glimpse towards the bathroom, you scrolled through your phone, opening Instagram as you tried your best to recall any detail he had shared about his arts and some gallery he often worked with, making the most of years and years of stalking your past crushes with barely any information to your knowledge. 

It only took you about five minutes to find him, his familiar aura simply radiating from his feed as a couple pictures of him mostly standing from the back into different cities all across the world seemed to melt perfectly with his art. 

You couldn’t hear the water running anymore- you had to be quick unless you wanted Seonghwa to catch you stalking one of his past sub partners with no reason whatsoever.

The bathroom door opened as soon as you pressed the send button, your heart beating at the craziest pace into your chest as you shoved your phone under a pillow to welcome Seonghwa with a grin, the sight of him bare chest with a towel wrapped around his hips making you melt instantly into the couch. His wet hair was pushed back, water still dripping all over his chest as your eyes instinctively followed a single drop until it eventually died into his navel, wishing you would lick it off. 

“There’s fresh clothes in the bathroom for you” Seonghwa stated, running a hand through his drenched hair as he looked already busy picking up the empty glasses from the table until you stopped him with one hand around his arm. 

“Seonghwa?”

Only a soft hum came out of his throat as he looked down on you, surprised to see him reach out for him first- breaking your typical dynamic. 

“Can I… please… Can I get a kiss?” Again, you couldn’t believe you were the one begging, acting vulnerable simply made you sick but somehow, when it came to this man, you seemed to forget all of your principles, turning into the simplest puddle of fucked-up feelings as the crave for his attention seemed to become too much. 

“A kiss, uh?”

You nodded, pretty much like a little kid begging for a new toy and, to your own surprise, you watched as Seonghwa dropped his empty glasses once again to lean forward, pressing his lips against yours. At first, you were taken aback by the softness of his touch as his hand reached for your neck without ever tightening his grip around your throat like he would usually do. 

“Fuck, baby” You heard him growl as his tongue finally made its way between your lips, toying with yours in the most sensual way while his hands tugged at the knot in front of your robe, unveiling your naked body all over again. 

Within seconds, Seonghwa was back inside of you, hammering his hips against yours at a slow yet powerful pace while all ten of his fingers intertwined with yours, pushing your hands into the pillow behind your head, his mouth never leaving yours. 

Head filled with fog and the intensity of this unexpected crack in the perfect mirror that seemed to be Park Seonghwa, you were too busy to moan his name over again to hear your phone beeping through a new notification, Hongjoong’s username flashing upon the screen as soon as Seonghwa sent it flying  to the floor through a powerful thrust.

“Hi stalker! :)

Sure, let’s meet up and chat! Coffee tomorrow? 

Hj x “

[tathrin]

Writing Year Wrapped (2023)

Ooh, thank you for the tag @sallysavestheday!

3 Favorite Fics You've Written This Year:

Of course we have to go with my current obsession, And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, an as-canon-compliant-as-possible Fellowship-AU that asks, what would happen if Celebrimbor got himself re-embodied and came back to Middle-earth to try and make up for his mistakes by helping to destroy the One Ring (and brought all his unhealed trauma with him)? Plus a slow-burn romance for Legolas and Gimli, a whole lot of delicious world-building for Mirkwood, and a more active role for Arwen too!

Five Times Gimli Died (and One Time He Didn't) is, I think, despite the simplistic and trope-y title, one of the most elegant things I've ever written, and I am very much in love with it. It's the story of Gimli and Legolas's romance, from beginning to end (well...not really end, because the joy of them is that they're a story that doesn't end—Gimli Immortality Agenda, you can't stop me!—but the story ends with the beginning of their happily-ever-after, which is a sort of end, no?), told in a series of scenes that takes place from Moria to the Undying Lands, and could almost slip right in between the pages of canon if you squint enough to overlook a little bit of meddling from Mahal on behalf of his new favorite dwarf (don't tell Durin).

To Live In Undying Lands is a series of snippets set in Aman after Legolas and Gimli cross the Sea, focused on both their new life there and that of our beloved Hobbits who went over before. And I went back and forth several times deciding whether to swap the placement of this one and Last Temptation... below, but I ultimately think that was a bit more of a stretch than this one, despite the fact that I Never Write Hobbits and am writing quite a lot of Hobbits for this one, and also I Never Write Snippets Without An Overarching Plot—and because I'm such a sucker for Gimleaf that if I have to pick a favorite between any two comparable stories, it's always going to be the one with them in it! (Also: Gimli Immortality Agenda, always!)

3 Fics That Stretched You the Most:

Dead Faces In The Water; Dead Faces Everywhere - I don't write present tense, I don't write modern AUs, and I don't write zombie stories...but here I am, writing all three at once! (Thanks, @katajainen! This story is 1/3 your fault, 1/3 @roselightfairy and @deheerkonijn's fault, and 1/3 Mira Grant's lol. And you were the inciting incident, so you get first blame!) And somehow having a great time doing it! (So much world building! I'm in paradise!)

The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm - probably one of the most overtly ambitious stories I've ever done. It's likewise in present-tense, although that's considerably less daunting now after almost forty chapters of zombies; but there were a lot of other balls to juggle on this story, including my first time properly writing both of the main characters as well as anything set in Ost-in-Edhil; and of skirting right up against the line of how close it came to all ending differently and making that (hopefully) feel almost like it could have gone differently and avoided all that tragedy in a way that, hopefully, both satisfies and distresses the reader.

And (I suppose this is a bit of a give-away, but it's not like I tried very hard to hide anyway; the anonymity is mainly designed to make people feel more comfortable offering con-crit, which I have no idea if it actually helped or not but I did get some lovely and helpful feedback on it, so I'm going to say the tactic has been a success) definitely Cliffside Revelations, which has the honor of being my very first explicit smut fic...even if most of the smut is an excuse for world building, which I'm sure shocks all of you lmao!

(And sneaking in an honorable mention of On The Far Side of the Sundering Sea, because my name isn't on the previous one so it probably doesn't technically count...which means I can slip in an extra story as a technicality, right? Right. Shhh, it's fine!)

3 Favorite Lines You've Written (loosely interpreting "lines" as sallysavestheday has cleverly demonstrated):

Oh this is difficult. Most of my best lines are only their best because of the context around them; and it's hard to remember them as distinct lines after their sections have been finished and posted. But this does at least save favorite and not best, so that helps; let's give it a try, then.

First, from Five Times Gimli Died (and One He Didn't) we have a moment of a revelation on Gimli's part, as he discovers that his heart might not be as alien to his Maker as he feared it was:

He stood in silence, staring at the unseen form of he who had made all Dwarves; of the Maker of stone and rock and mighty mountain. Mahal, who had made the Dwarves…Mahal, who loved the green.

This is one that definitely needs the context to make it work, so we're including the whole preceding paragraph from Blows Uncounted, a little AU-take on Helm's Deep where either the uruks are stronger or Gandalf is slower, and the battle has a darker ending.

For Legolas was not simply any elf: he was an elf of Mirkwood. Taur-ne-Fuin, the forest under nightshade; Taur-e-Ndaedelos, the forest of great fear. These orcs and uruks of Isengard, used to preying on earnest horse-lords and forthright farmers, had never met an elf of his sort before. Their northern kin could have told them stories of what befell orcs beneath the black boughs of Mirkwood…but orcs did not often come alive from those dark woods, not at least without Nazgûl to guard their travels.

And there were no Nazgûl here.

And taking a complete one-eighty in tone from the previous, I am quite inexcusably delighted with this one from Honeysuckle and Cider, and still giggle to myself whenever I re-read it:

"Uh," says Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King of Gondor, first of the House Telcontar.

(The line after it definitely qualifies as a runner-up, but I do think this one beats it out. Sorry, Faramir!)

Actually there's one other line I really wanted to put in here, even more than the one about the Nazgûl, but I'm not going to, because it's the very last line of the story it appears in, and reading it before you read that story would suck all the wind out of its sails, I think; so if you want to know what that is, you'll have to go read The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm for yourself.

3 Characters You Enjoyed Writing (that surprised you):

Anntar (Sauron), actually! I got to play with him as more than just a Menacing Presence in The Last Temptation of Narvi of Khazad-dûm and oh, he was so much fun! This was Sauron in full-on seducing-the-Gwaith-i-Mírdain mode, with maybe just a hint of how he actually wanted to be stopped, so that he could let the schemes for world-domination go and just be happy here with his smith-lovers...or maybe that was all wishful thinking on Narvi's part. Regardless, it was great fun to play with both failed and successful manipulations here, as well as to actually write something with my new favorite OT3.

Boromir may have come as even more of a shock to me, actually. I very quickly went from "distant fondness but very little interest" in Boromir to taking great delight in him, thanks in largest part to Dead Faces in the Water, Dead Faces Everywhere (and a little bit to Two Fell Into Shadow, although most of that was written or at least sketched-out earlier; but I'm counting it, because I don't think I realized how much fun he was fifteen years ago or so when I was writing it initially). Also, of course, his part in And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, although I haven't gotten to the point of posting any of his Grey Company chapters yet (shhh). He's such a wonderful sort of "I did not sign up for any of this; I have no idea what's happening; but I Am Participating Anyway!" sort of character, dragged out of his element commanding Minas Tirith's armies (where he's an extremely competent and confident fellow) and tossed into this baffling world of weirdness full of elves and magic and nonsense, for which he is so ill-equipped and ill-prepared. And yet he gamely goes along with it, because it needs doing! Whatever the fuck it is! He has no idea!

And last but certainly not least: Gimli, although this one may be less of a surprise; but it was a surprise to me how often I ended up writing from his perspective. I did not expect that, because I'm much more interested in elves (especially Mirkwood elves) than I am dwarves in general, and I've done a lot less world-building (a lot less) for Erebor than I have Mirkwood; but it's so much fun using Gimli as "the sensible perspective" (as well as an excuse to get really flowery with my wording sometimes, shhh!), not to mention an extremely astute and observant one, that he makes for a very addictive viewpoint character. I actually ended up having to make a conscious effort to switch to Legolas's pov sometimes, in fact, because it was so easy and charming to fall into Gimli's head and stay there! That was definitely a surprise to me.

3 Unexpected Inspirations:

This fucking dream! I still don't know what the hell happened to me that night, but it sure was unique and extremely unexpected!

And quite startling was the time where seeing the Legolas-always-looks-back-for-Gimli gif-post from the LotR movies cross my tumblr dash right to an Orpheus-and-Eurydice poll basically popped this whole-ass story fully formed into my head in one big rush of inspiration. Although the same thing happened with this post and And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow, so maybe I should stop thinking "random post on tumblr" is unexpected inspiration...

And uhhh....this XD

3 WIPs You're Excited About in the Upcoming Year:

And His Hands Ran With Gold and Shadow which I swear I will get back into working-on as soon as I get some of my other ongoing stuff finished, because I absolutely adore it! and I definitely want to write more on it! very much so! but the vibes required for writing it are so different from the other stuff that it's hard to switch back-and-forth between it and them (same goes for the zombie-fic).

An As-Yet-Untitled story set many, many, many years after the end of the War of the Ring in the Undying Lands, where our three beloved Hobbits (and one Dwarf) living on those timeless shores discuss their mortal lives, and decide when and whether to let them end.

The sequel to The Dark Reborn, because I am at some point going to drag my brain back into the galaxy far, far away enough to start reading and writing Star Wars fic again, and I fucking will finish this fucking awesome sequel trilogy fic I started, kriff it!!!

3 People Tagged to Share Theirs:

Tagging with zero pressure: @babybat98 @bifuriouswaterbender @katajainen