#squint if u saw them irl

[mingi-s-dimples]

weird request..? ( kinda ) it’s me lis😚 i love your work bia and i really REALLY want a demon hongjoong fic 🪦 maybe add some praising and choking kink as well…🤭🤭 i recently saw a picture of him that added to the “joong demon agenda” AND OH BOY 🫠🫠 love you 😚❤️

Crimson Nights - Hongjoong

REQUEST BY: @mingleshine (or how y'all might know her, my lovely Lis) she also made the banner 😋😋 had to use it for my love.

pairing: demon/incubus!hongjoong x fem!reader

rating: 18+

genre: romance, demon x human, love not necessarily filth (but a little bit cause I love writing filth hihi)

summary: the sillhouette you've always been dreaming and painting about finally finds it's way in your room, giving you what you've been longing for.

WC: 3.5k

warnings: demon au, incubus!hongjoong x human fem!reader, choking kink, neck marking, marking, a sprinkle of praise, pet names (sweetie, darling, princess), ramming (if this is even a warning), hard deep and needy longing love (joong appeared in reader's dreams for years), choking, huge dick!hongjoong, slight belly bulging (he was a big guy hihi), eyes glistering with lust and changing as soon as they're finished, sharp nails (said marking + hickeys), biting, a little bit of cnc maybe from his perspective reader was all down for it, possesiveness, claiming reader (you/re mine/I already claimed you), completely consesual, unprotected (WRAP UP IRL!), slapping/spanking, orgasms (both m&f), fluff (if you squint but I promise there is fluff cause wdym Hongjoong has waited years for reader to be ready to invite him in her world and how he talks to her at the end ansadka I'm blushing), probably forgot something !

Author's Note: I loved writing this one. The description in the beginning made me absolutely looooooooooooooooooove writing this fic, I've always loved to describe nice, vintage/retro like things/rooms. Tysm love for the request andddd can't wait for another one from you hihi <3 love you always, enjoy this one ^^ also I love when u call me bia it makes something in me go insane nshdajkndsma

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & does not represent in any way the reality of the member.

The room was a sanctuary of warmth and color, tucked away in an old manor where the whispers of time lingered in the wooden beams. As you stepped inside, the scent of aged wood and crackling fire filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of dried leaves that had drifted in through the slightly open window. The walls were adorned with paintings of every size, each one a vivid portrayal of autumn’s embrace. Rich hues of amber, gold, and crimson spilled from the canvases, capturing scenes of forests bathed in the gentle light of a setting sun, of fields where goldenrod swayed in the cool breeze, and of paths carpeted in a mosaic of fallen leaves.

The floor, covered in a thick, russet-hued rug, creaked softly underfoot, adding to the room’s rustic charm. A grand oak table sat in the center, its surface cluttered with brushes, palettes, and jars of paint that seemed to mirror the fiery shades of the season. On a nearby easel, a half-finished painting depicted a lone maple tree, its leaves a brilliant cascade of oranges and reds against the backdrop of a fading twilight sky.

Outside, the trees rustled softly in the wind, their branches bare save for a few stubborn leaves clinging to their last moments of life. The windowpanes rattled gently, as if echoing the sighs of the season, and through them, the distant cry of a flock of geese could be heard, their silhouettes barely visible against the dusky horizon. The room, bathed in the soft glow of a nearby lamp, seemed to pulse with the rhythm of autumn itself, a place where the beauty of the season was captured and eternalized within the frames on the walls.

You’ve been having some weird dreams lately. The dreams were always drenched in shadows, where reality blurred and the world seemed suspended between night and twilight. In them, you found yourself standing in a vast, moonlit field, where the air was thick with an unspoken tension. The only light came from a ghostly crescent moon, casting long, eerie shadows that danced across the landscape. It was in these shadows that you first saw him — a silhouette against the silver light, imposing, with a presence that sent a shiver down your spine and yet held your gaze captive.

He was not like any man you had ever seen. His form was humanoid but dark, almost as if he were carved from the very night itself. Yet, it was his eyes—those glowing embers hidden within the depths of shadow—that drew you in. They were the color of molten gold, burning with an intensity that made your heart race, eyes that seemed to see right through you, into the deepest corners of your soul.

Despite his demonic appearance, you felt an inexplicable pull toward him, a magnetic force that defied all logic. Each night, the dreams grew more vivid, more intense. You would find yourself standing just a breath away from him, feeling the heat of his presence and the chill of the night air against your skin. His gaze would meet yours, holding you in place, and in that moment, you felt a strange mix of fear and desire. It was as if his eyes were speaking to you, whispering promises of secrets untold, of passions that could only exist in the world of dreams.

Sometimes, you could hear his voice—a deep, resonant sound that echoed in the silence, filled with both menace and allure. He would reach out, his hand almost touching you, but the dream would always end before you had made contact, leaving you waking with a longing you couldn’t quite understand. The sensation of his gaze lingered among you, haunting your waking hours, making you yearn for the night when she would see him again.

In these dreams, you were not afraid. The darkness did not frighten you, nor did his otherworldly form. Instead, you felt drawn into the mystery, consumed by the curiosity of who he was and why you felt such a strong connection to him. Each night you slipped into the sheets, so willingly, eager to return to that shadowy place where the lines between fear and desire blurred, and where you felt more alive than you ever did in the daylight.

The air in the room was thick with anticipation, the kind that made every breath feel heavy. You stood in the center of the old, dimly lit room, the flickering candlelight casting long shadows that danced on the walls. The atmosphere was charged with an electric tension, a sensation you knew all too well from your dreams.

You had been here before—in those haunting visions that gripped you in the dead of night, where the lines between fear and desire blurred into something irresistible. But tonight was different. This time, you were awake. This time, it was real.

The temperature dropped suddenly, and a shiver ran down your spine. The shadows in the corners of the room seemed to coalesce, gathering into a single point of darkness that deepened until it was almost tangible. Your breath hitched as the air hummed with an otherworldly energy. The shadows twisted, taking form, and your heart pounded in your chest as you watched.

Slowly, he emerged from the darkness—a figure of impossible beauty and terrifying power. His skin was pale, almost luminescent against the darkness, and his eyes glowed with a deep, unnatural fire. They were the eyes that had haunted you in your sleep, eyes that saw through you, into you, but you yet had a desire to meet him. His presence filling the room, cloaked in darkness that seemed to cling to him like a living thing.

His lips curled into a knowing smile, one that sent a jolt of both fear and longing through you. It was the smile that had always made you feel like you were teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something thrilling. His voice, when he finally spoke, was a low, velvety rumble that seemed to reverberate through your very bones.

"So, we meet at last," he said, his tone laced with a dark amusement. "You've been dreaming of meeting me, haven't you?" 

You tried to speak, but the words caught in your throat. It was as if the reality of his presence had stolen your voice, leaving you with nothing but the rapid beating of your heart and the heat that flushed your skin.

He stepped closer, his movements fluid, almost serpentine. Every step he took seemed to pull you in, your body betraying you as it leaned towards him, yearning for the touch you knew would burn but also ignite something within you.

"You've been calling out to me, every night," he continued, his gaze never leaving yours. "And now, here I am." 

He was close enough now that you could feel the cold radiating from him, mingling with the warmth of your own body. The scent of him was intoxicating, a mix of something dark and forbidden, like smoke and spices you couldn't name. It made your head dizzy, your thoughts tangling with desire and dread.

He reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek, and the contact sent a shockwave through you. His touch was cold, but it sparked something deep within, a fire that you had only ever felt in your dreams. It was a sensation that bordered on pain, but also pleasure—a perfect, terrifying balance.

"Why do you fear me?" he whispered, his breath ghosting over your skin. "I am what you desire most, am I not?"

You swallowed hard, finally finding your voice, though it was barely more than a whisper. "Who are you?"

His smile widened, a flash of sharp teeth that should have frightened you, but instead, it only made your heart race faster. "I am everything you've ever feared, everything you've ever wanted. I am the darkness in your soul, the fire in your blood. I am yours."

The words wrapped around you like a spell, binding you to him in a way that felt both inevitable and inescapable. You knew, deep down, that this was what you had been searching for, what your soul had been yearning for in those lonely, desperate moments between sleep and wakefulness.

“W-what’s your name?” you said, your head dizzy from what he made you feel deep inside you.

“I’m Hongjoong.. nice to meet you, princess.”

His hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until there was nothing between you but a breath, a heartbeat. His eyes burned into yours, and you felt yourself falling into them, into him, as if you had always belonged there.

"You have nothing to fear," he murmured, his lips hovering over yours, close enough to feel their coolness. "We are one, you and I. And now, you will never be alone again."

As his lips finally met yours, the world around you seemed to fade, dissolving into darkness. All that remained was the heat of his kiss, the cold fire of his touch, and the knowledge that you had finally found what you had been seeking all along—him.

He stopped kissing you, a heady silence falling between, thick with the weight of what was about to happen. His hands, cold yet searing with an undeniable heat, trailed down your neck with a slow, deliberate touch, making you shiver. His eyes locked onto yours, burning with an intensity that made your knees weak. You could feel the pull, the magnetic force drawing you closer, deeper into him, and you knew there was no escape—only surrender.

With a fluid, almost predatory grace, he lowered you onto the bed. The mattress yielded under your weight, and the cool sheets sent a shiver through your body. He hovered over you, his presence overwhelming, his gaze never wavering from yours as he gently eased you down, guiding your back to the softness beneath. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of darkness and desire.

His lips found your throat, pressing soft, lingering kisses that ignited every nerve in your body. The sensation was intoxicating, a mixture of warmth and cold that made your skin tingle with anticipation. His kisses were like whispers against your flesh, trailing down to your collarbone, each touch a promise of more to come. His sharp teeth, grasping your skin, receiving some whines out of you. 

You gasped as his hands slid under the fabric of your shirt, his fingers cool against the heated skin of your waist. His touch was slow, sensual, exploring every inch of you as if committing your body to memory. He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear, sending another shiver down your spine.

“Do you feel that?” he whispered, his voice like velvet, dark and rich. “The way your body responds to mine? The way you tremble under my touch?”

His lips traced the curve of your shoulder, then continued their journey downward, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His fingers followed, brushing against your sides, your hips, as he moved lower. He was taking his time, savoring every moment, every reaction you gave him.

When his lips reached the edge of your shirt, he paused, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. There was a question in his eyes, one that didn’t need to be spoken aloud, and your answer was in the way you arched your back, pressing your body into his touch, craving more. A satisfied smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he pulled your shirt higher, exposing more of your skin to the cool air.

He kissed along your stomach, his lips lingering on every inch of bare flesh he uncovered, each kiss sending a jolt of pleasure through you. His hands were everywhere, caressing, teasing, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped your lips as he continued his exploration. The sound seemed to please him, a dark glint of satisfaction in his eyes as he looked up at you from beneath his lashes.

His mouth moved lower, his kisses growing more insistent, more demanding, and you could feel the tension building within you, coiling tighter with each passing second. His touch was like a drug, addicting, overwhelming, and you were helpless to do anything but give in to the sensations he was pulling from you.

When he finally moved back up to capture your lips again, it was with a hunger that took your breath away. His kiss was deep, consuming, as if he was trying to devour every part of you, to claim you as his own. You could taste the darkness on his lips, the promise of something forbidden, something you had craved in your dreams but had never fully understood until now.

He pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his breath mingling with your own in the small space between you. “You are mine,” he whispered, the words more a declaration than a question. “Every part of you, every breath, every heartbeat. Mine.”

And as he kissed you again, slow and deep, you knew that he was right. There was no turning back, no escape. You were his, body and soul, and the thought of it sent a thrill through you that was equal parts fear and desire. As his hands continued their exploration, as his lips found every sensitive spot on your skin, you surrendered completely to the darkness, to him, knowing that you were lost and yet finally found.

Your hands found their way through his hair, rubbing the nape of his neck. He took that as a challenge and as one of his hands was travelling around your body, all touchy on your thighs and waist, the other one went for your neck, putting pressure, almost like choking you. It only made you yearn for more as you squirmed under him, his gaze never leaving your needy eyes.

“I can see it in your eyes, princess. How much you want me, how much you need me. Do you want me to let you give in or… will you let me make you mine?” he said as he pressed down on your neck, hovering his lips over your collarbones, leaving soft, sloppy kisses, waiting for your response. 

But as you didn’t say anything, only moving underneath him, in wish of some friction, he understood your movements and manhandled you on your back, pressing your face into the mattress. 

“See, darling? Your body language is everything to me. The way it speaks to me… in no way you’d be able to portray by words” he whispered, his eyes glistening with lust and desire, eating you as a whole. 

“Joong- i- “ you mumbled, trying to get ahold of yourself, his dick struggling inside the rough fabric of the leather jeans, creating a prominent tent. All of this mess caused by you and your little dreams formed a loop of stroking his cock for a few seconds before rubbing his thigh up and down, all through the tightening cloth. 

His calm, yet lustful, twisted expression gave you an understanding on how much he wanted you, how bad he craved putting you on all fours, head buried in the mattress, holding your hands and pounding into you like the demon he was. 

Trembling hands gripping the silk sheets, your bottom lip quivered involuntarily as breathless pants left your mouth, Hongjoong behind you, squeezing and occasionally slapping your ass. It was already red… at how much he fondled with it.

“So… should I.. finally claim you, princess?” he said as he turned you over to face him. He started undressing you, slowly but surely getting rid of everything. You were now laying bare in front of him, goosebumps visible on your entire body from the cold yet inviting touch he had.

He pulled you into him by your waist, making you gasp once you felt his hard erection press against your thigh. "Feel that, princess? Gonna fill you up nicely" he whispered, his breath stuttering against your face, like he was a feral animal wanting to destroy you. 

As he unbuckled his leather pants and got rid of them, unveiling his already dripping cock, you were left amazed by the size. You expected.. the size.. cause he was a demon, after all, but...

"Oh, fuck" you exhaled when he went between your thighs, his red angry tip pressing and slowly moving up and down on your folds.

"You good, darling? he grunted as he pushed himself inside you, no warning. You softly moaned at the sensation, but as you realised he put only his tip in, you braced yourself on the mattress and when he pushed himself just a little bit more, you whined and tears started forming at the corner of your eyes. As he wiped them soflty, he let you adjust to his size but you never quite completely did.

Pain and pleasure hovered over you, heavy mist in the air and breathing. He lifted you up, still bouncing slowly on his cock, holding you close to his chest. It was it you were making love to your demon.. this was exactly what was happening. Slow, lustful, desireful thrusts, moves and touches, soft kisses from your neck to your collarbones, sucking dark spots on your fair soft skin.

You suddenly moved and twitched as he bottomed down, to which he pushed you down even further, feeling how a small bulge was forming in your belly, almost visible.

"Princess, stop moving. I might actually hurt you if you move without warning" he said as he dug his sharp nails into the flesh of your waist, leaving soft bleeding marks on your skin. You whined at the pain but damn... it turned you on so bad, arousal dripping on his balls, from below you as you bounced on him more forcefully, not caring about the pain anymore, which had turned into utmost pleasure.

Hongjoong was all touchy with you, he was like this... maybe because he was longing you how much you were longing to meet him? All of these years you've seen him in your dreams... all of the paintings and stories you've made up of him, all because you wanted to meet the mysterious entity in your dream and... you were over the moon for him. How he fucked you so good, how he took you under his influence, his voice, his fangs, as he dug them suddenly in your neck, getting soft choked moans out of your rapidly rising chest.

Only sloppy sounds could be heard from between the two of you, soft and slow stuttering moves, arching your back with every thrust of his. It's true.. he was basically ramming into you, feeling like he could destroy your insides any moment. But at the same time.. there was some kind of slowness, caring to it, deeply pounding into you but making sure you slowly take every single inch of his length, while he gave you soft kisses. One of his hands found it's way to your breasts, playing with your nipple as he received a whine out of you. You were already close, your head getting dizzier, cloudy with the thought of the dirty things you've done with your... demon.

His hands all over your back, leaving scratches and his lips leaving spots on your skin. This is how fucked up you were.. but you were close to finishing, and as he rammed into you a couple of more times and felt how your core bursted, you creamed on his cock, leaving out moans and cries of arousal, tears falling down your cheeks. He fucked you through your orgasm, overstimulating you. He later came inside your aching and throbbing pussy, slowing down his thrusts and then finally comming to a stop.

"Such a good girl you are... such a good girl for me. Is that right?" he whispered.

Both of your fluids were dripping down your legs and on his thighs as he let you fall slowly on the ruined bed sheets. He could feel... even smell how your blood boiled for him, how aroused you were.

"Everything good, darling?" he said as he wiped down your tears, rubbing your trembling thighs slowly. "Mhm? Are you feeling okay?"

"Uh, yes, Joong. It was incredible... " you said and he gave you a kiss on your forehead.

"You know.. y/n. I've been longing for this moment... for years. Ever since I first appeared in your dreams... but I had to wait until you finally wanted it to happen. Now I'm here, sweetie. I'm here.. I'll stay here forever. You're mine and I'm yours.. remember?" his eyes changed colours, from a deep red that appeared when he pushed you on the bed... to a soft hazel-like colour.

"You can't escape my grip anyways. I already claimed you before inviting me in your life..." he said and hugged you thightly.

"Hongjoong... I've always wanted to meet you.. the mysterious entity haunting, appearing in my dreams. I was so eager to meet that sillhouette... you won't ever understand." you said and gave in, curling up into a ball in his grip.

"Don't worry.. I'm here and I won't ever leave, as I said" he reassured you, stroking your hair slowly and biting your neck again, marking his terittory once again for the night.

[tansypaws]

hi wren, first i’d like to say i adore your srt style! second, do you usually use references when you draw? and second, what is your thought process when it comes to designing your characters?

thank you!

references v important, and i can def tell the difference in my art and anatomy from when i do vs don't use them 😬

in terms of design process, i am very much a put pen to paper and go from there type. esp when drawing canon cats, i usually have a lot of different design drafts that don't make the cut in full, but often impact my final design, whether through the palette or the markings or something that i think of while working on whatever design aspect.

for the fallen leaves design, i originally had him as a like very generic red tabby w/ symmetrical white markings, and then i was like oooh give the lad some leafy speckles, and then i was like ooooh x2 what if he was a calico and had some black in there to make the orange really stand out.

im mostly caught up on the books, so i do also try to bring certain traits/experiences/etc into my designs when i can, like shadowsight having eye-like tabby stripes or the blue in fallen leaves eyes or the like "dripping" black from his mouth/nose to symbolize what happened to him

in terms of my own characters (which i realize now is what u asked LMAOO), i am even more loosey goosey. a lot of the times i try to go in with some aspect of a design or design inspo in mind, whether that be a name (ex. my oc beetlenose having a black nose bridge that kind looks like a beetle if u squint at it) or some memory of an irl cat i saw that i thought would look cool. like w/ designing canon characters, i also tend to go through a lot of drafts unless i have something super clear in mind going into things, which is admittedly kinda rare for me. i tend to just not be able to produce things if i get too stuck in my head, so i try and fuck around with stuff until i get something i like. sometimes i get really far into a design and realize i don't like it or i don't feel like it fits or that the color scheme is really not cohesive, and i switch back to an earlier version.

overall its just a lot of experimenting around and making diff versions until something fits, and i can build a design around it. also w/ fallen leaves, i knew i wanted some sort of leaf motif (lol, rhymes) and started off making the white on his face shaped like a maple leaf, but then realized i did not like how that looked so i changed the design to be more reminiscent (i hope?) of....fallen leaves. i'm very all over the place, tbh.

[mauricemylittlemeowmeow]

gmorning gmorning. gmorning long post.

it's exactly 4am!!

blurry ass shot but i woke up, saw jupiter and thought "yeah definitely too early". but then i get up a bit more and i saw the moon right below it and i thought pretty!!!

skies've been too cloudy to stargaze for the past month. it's actually completely obscured the moon and jupiter right now so i'm glad i could get a shot in even though it was shitty lmao. it was real pretty and nice and fuckin mars was there with aldebaran and everything (if u squint u see them in the photo above jupiter)

dream time!!! on a scale of 10, dreams were a 7-8 today depending on which. one of them featured daniil which was funny so ill relay it:

premise was that i was the player character in what my brain helpfully supplied as some sort prequel game for patho. a nurse (i was talking to my nurse friend before sleeping and she was ranting abt phlebotomy or smth so lmao)

it mightve been set in a plague but basically there was some sort of epidemic and "i" tended to the in patients at an hospital (is it a hospital?? do people pronounce the h in hospital in english?) where most of everyone was sick with something really bad and barely curable.

anyways i was walking around doing my rounds. then i come over to this room with patients and it's literally like a closet with long shelves and everything but instead of supplies, the patients were crammed in there like a morgue or a line of standing coffins.

lo and behold i see daniil in all his p1 model glory. i pull him out. hes distressed so i tell him hes actually starting to get better (he was not) and that soon he'll be discharged after he's well again. i pat his head lovably and grow fond like i was comforting a cute puppy (i have 6 dogs) and i think about shoving him in the broom closet of doom again.

i think that was the part where i was like "lmao wtf is this dream rn" so my brain helpfully supplied some lore then when i was done "remembering" the setting above, the scene already shifted.

daniil was, once again, in distress. he was a lot like an asylum patient. like someone who lost their sense of self and was struggling very hard to claw at an identity of any sort that they might have had in the past. he was trying to use the phone to make a call. he struggles trying to recall a number but then eventually gets one right.

it rings and bc dream me really wanted to listen in on the conversation like a chronic gossip, i manage to "convince" him (dream coercion) to let me answer the phone.

it was his mum!! daniil dankovsky's mother 大草 lmao. i told her i was from the hospital, calling about daniil and she was like "oh... he's dead, isn't he?" and i told her that no he's fine actually and was to be dismissed very soon (i was lying).

while this was happening, i was trying my best to let daniil hear the conversation too but i didn't know how to put the telephone on speaker (bc fr idk how to put telephones on speaker irl. i think our telephone company doesnt provide speaker buttons????? idk im going insane) so i was just struggling, trying to put the receiver speaker in between us before giving up

i heard the tail end of her going on about needing "dr. burakh" to fix her up and my brain hit me with another dose of setting details at that point.

(artemy's a doctor/surgeon in the hospital and hes handling daniil's treatment too)

i laugh and tell her that there's no need to get artemy bc soon her son'll be home to fix her up instead.

at that point, i was urged to cut the call because someone came up to me, another telephone in hand, and said "you know this is a home line right?" (implying anyone could listen in)

i was too lazy to reply and continue the dream so i just woke up after that lol.

but yeah good morning yippee!! clean start for another day!!! cant wait to seize it, hope everyone does too!!!

[6okuto]

NIA THAT WAS AMAZING TY FOR ANSWERING MY KEIJI ASK 🫶🫶 and that bkak comic was so cute !!! pls tell me all ur thoughts on them Please 🙏 would love u forever if u did

Thank U Anon. love u. they're just niacore... the fluff! the humour! knowing each other completely! unwavering support! inspiring each other to be better! my cat and dog! ☹️

they're both vry comforting and lovely 2 me albeit in different ways, so Together. . .Wow. W-O-W. Stars Align Worlds Collide Heaven On Earth. put me in coach. furudate wrote them 4 me specifically 🫂

bkak hcs bkak hcs ouaghhh!!!

first and foremost. bkak rescued a cat together. Walk with me. the story me and my irl (summer) concocted long ago is that they saw a cat in a parking lot late at night and got vry worried !! bokuto is more outwardly panick-y and akaashi gets him to calm down (devastated inside) so they can run to the nearest pet store to get food... they go through the whole process of checking for a name tag + going to the vet etc but in the end !! they adopt the kitty!! YAAAY!! we never picked a gender or name or what it looks like or anything. i will have 2 ask my irls for ideas... if u have any Lmk.

^ they spoil the cat sooo much. SOO much the first day it's at their house they just watch as it explores and take so many pics... get a comfy bed and cat tree and treats and toys yeahhh spoiled baby. i know they were giggling over it having one of their last names btw. I KNOWWW 🙁

i really love the idea of bkak thrifting for home decor together actually. because u know they're gonna get something silly.. maybe start a little animal sculpture collection... a piece of abstract art they discussed for 15 minutes because bokuto swears he can see a giraffe in it and akaashi is stuck squinting confused. their place is really quite nice but there's these little things around!

bokuto asking akaashi to kiss him after each workout set as motivation 🥹 akaashi asking for a kiss after he's done reviewing another chapter 🥹

we must allow akaashi keiji to be a little weird. a silly boyfailure. WE MUSTTT WE MUST!!! bokuto knows this better than anyone... leans into akaashi's weird shirts and looks out for them when he's on trips... akaashi says something just so incoherent while he's tired and bokuto acts as a translator and or rubs his shoulders and chides him for staying up so late... yeah.

i know akaashi cooks for bokuto in the comic but 🥹🥹 bokuto trying to cook for akaashi as a surprise... puts on an apron, watches videos, reads recipes like he takes it Seriously! tries so hard and even asks osamu for help, so even if it isn't the best in the world akaashi thinks he might cry like omg 🙁

i think i've said this here before but. akaashi has so much access to official bokuto merch y'know. he's kou's #1 supporter fr fr and when kou gets him stuff for free he's like !!!! BUT! no akaashi merch :( ? this is devastating for bokuto... what does he do ? get custom pieces made of course. the pride and giddiness on his face while he wears his new sweater with akaashi's name. keiji's face is so red. BOKUTO GETTING A KEIJI DOLL. "now make them hold hands" "now kiss" yeahvyeah yehnayeau

akaashi broke his glasses once by accidentally falling asleep with them on so when bokuto notices he takes them off for him! and carries him to bed obviously.

rent a boyfriend with Bokuaka. Walk With Me. it truly works either way and in so many scenarios... one needs a date to a wedding? one was told to do so by a friend? one was drunk and said fuck it? the butterflies and tension... the confusion... being closer than they would be with a regular client... bumping into each other on a regular day... I love u bokuaka.

touches water and watches it ripple... bokuto inviting akaashi to play volleyball with him.... it's been ages since keiji's gotten to set... but then bokuto spikes and they remember what it felt like to play together.. and and amdnanffnff

here's translated versions of bkak letters that someone wrote. I actually felt my chest cave in before i found out it was a threadfic. IT HURTSOSBAD

and here's a bunch of art. for u. for me.

Twitter user 45__kk Means The World To Me. here are a few posts: one two three four five six. i could keep going. 45__KK U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!

this and this changed my lifoie.r. Thiswchsngemfylfirnd. and this

any art where akaashi wears bokuto's jersey... < This changed mylifr. It's over. Everybody Go Home. this one specifically has changed me forever. no joke. NOjoek. Ouggnggngn

MY LEG 😭

this video means the world to me. really anything where akaashi goes to bokuto for a hug. any. an. pelaspe.

MY FAWKING LEG

this art shifted something inside my soul 4ever

it can't be overstated what chengongzi123 has done for me. they don't do a lot of bkak anymore but they've changed my life forever. here's some: one two three four five six seven (< college au..)

i also love GyappiM... many sketches. Love my life. one two three

BARBIE! adore this artist too.

CATS 😭😭🫶🫶 national cat day.. Best day ever. MY BOKUAKA. yeah. can't scroll down enough on my twt to get more butbyeahh.

[friendzoned61]

Wanted to do another ego redesign, so this time I went with Bing and Google!

Thanks again to @ambrosiadreamer for the ideas!

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part One. George: the definition of “hello, have you met my friend?”

warnings: none word count: 1568 (not including pictures) *** Bugsy is Y/n’s username! I got too attached to change it to y/u/n so change it in your mind if you’d like :) 

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist

ultimate masterlist

-

Y/n sighed lightly as she set her phone on the desk in front of her. Her eyes traveled back to her monitor, where George was sharing his screen on Discord as he practiced speedruns. Y/n and Sapnap were on call with him to keep him company.

The cold air around her nipped at her skin, sending chills and bringing goosebumps. She pulled her hoodie closer to her body, tucking her feet on her chair to curl herself in a ball.

"This run sucks," George mumbled. "I thought it was going to be good."

"It would have if the village actually had anything useful," Sapnap commented. "There was a lava pool at spawn and everything."

"What do you think, Bugsy? Should I start over?"

She hummed, squinting at the screen. "Yeah, you should."

He left and started a new run.

"Karl's replies on Twitter are always so funny," Sapnap giggled after a few moments of silence. "He's so formal."

"I love that kid. That's my best friend right there, no cap," Y/n said with a smile. She and Karl had been friends for a few years now. They met through their parents being friends and shortly found out the other streamed and quickly bonded over that as their fanbases grew.

"Did you see Wilbur's response to your tweet?" Sapnap asked. "Man wrote you a letter."

"What did the tweets say?" George asked, half-listening as he focused on his run.

Sapnap read them and George laughed through his nose. "How could you ask for a Minecraft boyfriend while you're literally on a call with us while I'm playing Minecraft?"

"Just keeping my options open," Y/n laughed. "Don't worry, I'm wearing a GeorgeNotFound hoodie as we speak."

"I'd be worried, George. There are quite a few proposals in the responses."

"Shut up," Y/n muttered, a smile on her face that she was glad neither of them could see. "George, you remember my roommate is in love with you, right? Don't upset her by being jealous of boys coming after me."

"You're an idiot," George breathed out in a laugh. "No, she's not."

"She is. Very much."

"No, no, she isn't."

"George," Sapnap sighed dramatically. "Just accept that you can be loved."

"You're both idiots, okay?" George laughed awkwardly. "This seed is terrible," he groaned.

"Wait!" Sapnap yelled. "Village on the left!"

George quickly turned and ran towards the village to loot it. Y/n watched with Sapnap as George found iron and a few other valuable things.

"Oh! This might be okay."

"Bugsy?" Sapnap asked slowly, sounding confused.

"Sapnap?" she replied in the same tone.

"Have you not met Quackity?"

"No. What made you ask?"

"I just saw his response to your tweet."

"Why are you two on your phones? I'm speedrunning!"

"Because you still haven't made it to the nether on any of them," Sapnap bit. "How are you best friends with Karl and you haven't you met Quackity?"

"I dunno. I just haven't. There's a lot of people I have only spoken to through Twitter replies."

"Like who?" George asked.

"Why are we only talking about me?" Y/n asked in slight frustration. She wasn't fond of talking about herself because she wasn't used to it. "This is George's stream."

"Well, now I'm really curious so I wanna talk about this," George laughed. "Who haven't you met?"

"I dunno!" she said, flustered. "Quackity, Wilbur, Dream, Tubbo, Tomm-- wait, no I met Tommy. He yelled at me."

"Wait, wait, what?" Sapnap interrupted.

Y/n paused but neither of them said anything. "What?"

"You haven't met Dream?" George asked, sounding equally as confused.

No one said anything. "No? Why is that surprising. I mean, we've joked through tweets and stuff but I've never played with him or actually spoken to him."

"What about DMs and stuff?" George asked.

"Nope. Dream is just thirsty in my replies like Wilbur," she joked, feeling the anxiety of the awkward pauses seep through her skin and touch her bones. Why were they being so weird about it? "Why is that so shocking that a man with, like, 15 million subscribers has never spoken to me?"

Sapnap laughed. "I'm just genuinely surprised that he hasn't reached out to you before."

"Yeah, me too," George agreed. "He talks about you in a way I thought you guys were good friends. And you're friends with us so I just assumed you were friends with him too."

Y/n laughed, nervous at the mention of being talked about. "Well, he must be a pussy or something because I have yet to receive any acknowledgement from Dream Was Taken besides him occasionally replying to my tweets and Instagram pictures."

George laughed suddenly, making Y/n look at the monitor with George's screen quickly, which wasn't moving. "What happened? Did you find something?"

"No," George's screen began moving again and he started building a portal. "Dream just texted me because he's watching the stream."

"What did he say?" Sapnap asked.

"He said, 'can I join the call? I don't want Bugsy to think I'm a pussy'," George answered, lowering his voice to a mumble before adding, "And something else he'd probably kill me if I said out loud."

Sapnap and George laughed at Y/n's silence. She was only joking, not intending to challenge him to talk to her. Honestly, she was relieved he had never spoken to her because he intimidated her. Meeting people made her nervous and Dream was no different. If anything, he was worse because he was a big deal and he kinda flirted with her sometimes, which gave her butterflies in a way she didn't like.

"I'm adding him to call," George announced.

"Wait, you're not going to check if I'm okay with meeting him live in front of 80,000 people?" Y/n asked with a small, nervous laugh.

"No, because it's my stream. I can do what I want. I can't live another second knowing you two have never talked."

"I think Bugsy's scared!" Sapnap coeed.

"I think so too!"

"You wish," Y/n muttered.

A small sound emitted from Discord, notifying everyone that someone joined the voice chat.

"Hello Dreeaamm..." George dragged out as he navigated the nether. "I made it to the nether, Sapnap. Will you get off your phone now?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hi Dream!"

"Hello," Dream said casually. "Hello, Bugsy."

Y/n lowered in her chair more, pulling her hood up and closing it tight over her eyes. No one could see her but his voice made her feel seen.

Sapnap giggled and George laughed. Dream breathed out a laugh. Y/n responded with a small, "Hi."

"Bugsy, you're such a liar!" Sapnap called out. "You are so scared."

"Shut up, Sapnap!" she chuckled.

"Scared of what?" Dream asked innocently.

"Meeting you," George answered. Traitor.

"Forgive me," Y/n started, sitting up in her seat and pulling open her hood to watch George play, "for being nervous to meet Mr. Speedrun in front of a huge live audience." She decided to joke around to hopefully ease the nervousness under her skin. "I'm just worried he's going to flirt with me again and I'll have to embarrass him in front of everyone by rejecting him again."

They all laughed.

"I mean, you already said Karl was in the lead for being your Minecraft boyfriend, so I really have no shot," Dream said.

"As if I'm letting some girl named Bugsy steal my fiance!" Sapnap yelled.

"Ah!" The attention was ripped away from Y/n as George screamed. Y/n looked at the screen, watching as her friend was getting attacked by a hoard of zombie pigmen.

"Why did you hit one, George?" she teased.

"I didn't mean to! AHH!!" he screeched, making everyone laugh. "STOP ATTACKING ME!"

"George!" Dream laughed. "Just run, you won't be able to kill them all!"

"I'm trying!" George fell in lava and screamed again. His death appeared on the screen and Y/n could hear him slam his desk. "That run was so good until the zombie pig came out of nowhere."

He started a new run and it was quiet for a moment before Dream's soft voice spoke again. "Well, Bugsy. I hope you forgive me for taking so long to speak to you."

"I-I was just kidding about you being a pussy," she mumbled, making him laugh.

"No, it's true. I was."

"Come on, Dream, sliding in my DMs is easy," she joked. "You could have if you wanted to."

"Trust us," George laughed, "he wanted to."

"What?" Dream asked George loudly, making Sapnap laugh.

"Dream, you talk about her all the time. George and I were both led to believe you were already friends based on how you talk about her."

"How I talk about her? What does that mean?" Dream sounded defensive and it made Y/n smile.

"You're always like, 'Bugsy did this' and 'Bugsy tweeted that', and 'I have to do a face reveal before Bugsy does because she'll outshine me'," Sapnap teased.

"Okay, the last one? I never said that. You're lying about that."

"But the rest of it is true?" Y/n teased.

"Look, you play good and your tweets are funny! I didn't come on here to get bullied, oh my gosh."

**********

A/N: this is my first time attempting a social media fic so the theme of this series is gonna be ignore the number of likes/retweets and stuff just know that y/n is a much smaller streamer she only gets a lot of likes and stuff when it involves other mcyt ya know okay fun times 

Please give feedback!! I hope you enjoy it!!! I don’t have a schedule right now but I might in the future if this series gets a lot of attention :) as of right now i’ll try to update at least once a week! 

NEXT

[babybluebex]

sugar pie, honey bunch [lee bodecker smut]

➽ pairing: lee bodecker x fem!reader(y/n) ➽ word count: 4.3k ➽ summary: lee gets tired of your secret rendezvous at work, so he comes to your house and does something about it.   ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), daddy kink, degradation, infidelity by both parties, loss of virginity, mentions of anal sex ➽ a/n: if you know me irl no u don’t <3

It was quiet. Too quiet. I hated that. The silence let my thoughts run amok and that was never good for anybody, but least of all me. I had a tendency to overthink things, and quiet and still only amplified that. Knockemstiff, Ohio was the absolute worst place to live if you hated silence, because nothing happened in that little town. About twelve years ago, there had been a veteran who killed himself after his wife died, but that was the loudest thing that had ever happened to my little Knockemstiff. I should know; I worked as a secretary at the police station. I heard all of the gossip from around town. Earlier today, someone had been arrested for being drunk, which I think everyone in Knockemstiff could be in violation of. Every other day was quiet. It was hell. 

I could hear the crickets way out in the fields as I walked around the house. Those bugs served as my soundtrack as I found a box of matches and quietly slid a few into my mouth, and I padded through the house until I reached the front door. Knockemstiff was the sort of town where people didn’t use their front doors unless the Pope was showing up; it was all side doors and garages (if you were lucky enough to have one, which most of us didn’t). All that to say, I knew I could smoke by the front door and nobody would smell it. 

The night was hot. Oppressive and stifling, nearly suffocating. My skin was tacky against my nightshirt as I struck a match and lit a cigarette, and I leaned up against the side of the house. The moon was full, casting silver light onto my barren front yard and the dirt road that stretched exactly from one side of town to the other that ran in front of the house. It was a weird sort of beautiful. But quiet. Oh so quiet. 

Quiet, until I heard the far-off rumbling of a car. It wasn’t unheard of to get visitors in the night-- usually someone coming to ask me about the police station, because nobody had the balls or willpower to call our sheriff after hours-- but the noise drew closer at a snail’s pace. Whoever this was wasn’t in any hurry at all. Finally, a car rolled up in front of the house, the headlights off. There was a moment where I watched the car, then I sighed when the door wrenched open to reveal Lee Bodecker. The sheriff was a nice enough guy, maybe at the risk of being too nice sometimes and a total prick at others, but I was at a loss for why the hell he’d be here this late at night with his cruiser’s lights off. If it were an urgent police matter, he’d have his flashing lights on. 

“You shouldn’t do that,” Sheriff Bodecker told me, his voice carrying across the yard. 

“Do what?” I quipped. 

His boots brushed the porch as he climbed the steps up, and I caught his eye in the moonlight. “Smoking’s unbecoming of a young woman,” Bodecker told me pointedly. “Anyway, it’s a bad habit.” 

“You come to lecture me on smoking?” I asked. “I ain’t quite finished typing up that arrest report yet, if that’s what you’re after.” 

“No, no,” Bodecker said. “Nah, I ain’t here for that, sugar.” 

“Oh?” I said, crossing my arms. “And what are you here for?” 

“We’ll get to that soon enough,” Bodecker said. “Ain’t you gonna invite me in? It’s awful late.” 

“Exactly why I’m not gonna do that,” I said quickly, taking an exaggerated drag on my cigarette. “People talk, Lee. Blowjobs in the supply closet during lunch break are one thing; showing up to my house unannounced at half past midnight is something else. And I ain’t gonna be no Whore of Knockemstiff, ya hear me? Run along. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Invite me in, Y/N,” Bodecker said, tilting his head down to look me in the eyes. Bodecker was imposing: six feet tall and sturdy as a mule, even if his middle was getting a little soft. He had these steel-blue eyes that cut right to my core and gorgeous eyelashes, with puffy pink lips and a little cleft in his chin. Maybe if he were ten years younger, thirty pounds lighter, with one less marriage, I’d be into him properly, but that wasn’t the case. Our relationship was one of necessity (but aren’t they all?). His pretty little wife had stopped sucking his cock and he had a thing for my pink lipstick. It worked. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy our little trysts, because I definitely did, but something felt off about this certain encounter. He had never paid me a visit at home before. “Be a good little host for me.” 

I huffed and stamped out my cigarette. “Come in, won’t you?” I grumbled, throwing open the squeaky screen door. It felt off to have Lee in my house, but everything about us was off. I guess this was only normal. 

I flipped the light on and settled myself against the counter as Lee pulled off his tan sheriff’s hat. His hair was dark as pitch, shorn short on all sides but getting a little long at the top, and little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes as he squinted at the pictures I had on the fridge. “And who’s this?” he asked, pressing his thumb into a picture. 

I looked at it and clenched my teeth. “Boyfriend,” I answered simply. 

“Oh?” Lee chuckled. “And where is he?” 

“Well, right now, he’s in ‘Nam,” I answered. “He enlisted, got sent over.” 

“And he didn’t propose before he left?” Lee asked, and I shook my head. “Hmm. Usually when men go to war, they make sure that they’ll have someone waiting for them when they get back.” 

“Why are you here?” I asked suddenly. “What do you want?” 

“The wife’s mad at me tonight,” Lee said. “She was drinking and started yellin’ at me. Said I was better gone.” 

“And you came here?” I said. “Why?” 

“Got nowhere else to go,” Lee shrugged. “And I figured that you’d welcome me.” 

“You couldn’t go to a bar?” I asked. 

“Not unless I wanted to run into my sister,” Lee said. “And I don’t feel like having a fucking lecture.” 

I sucked in air through my teeth. “Fine,” I finally said. “But you’re on the couch.” 

“Aw, c’mon, babe,” Lee groaned. He approached me at my place at the counter, and his arms went on either side of me, keeping me right where he wanted me. “It’s been a long day for me. You’re not really gonna make me sleep on no stinkin’ couch, are ya?”

“I sure am,” I told him. “‘Cause you’re sure as hell not sleeping in the bed.”

Lee tilted his head. “Not even a good night kiss?” he asked. 

“No,” I said. “This is an inconvenience for me. I got shit to do tomorrow and I need sleep.” 

“Which is why you were outside smoking,” Lee said. 

“Helps me calm down,” I snapped. “Lee. Let me go.” 

“You sure are a stupid little bitch, huh?” Lee sneered. “You really think I rolled up to your house just wanting a place to sleep? Honey, you shoulda been expecting more.” 

Lee regularly spoke to me like this, but it was usually while I was tying my hair back and kneeling down in front of him. “Don’t call me that,” I said. 

“It’s true, though, ain’t it?” Lee asked. “Just a dumb bitch, that’s all you are. You fuck a married man and try to act like you’re better than everyone else. And you don’t think everyone knows?”

My ego deflated in half a second. “Do they?” I asked shakily. 

“That’s why the wife kicked me out,” Lee said. “Someone told her I was fuckin’ you, and she got mad. Asked for a divorce and all.” 

“We’re not fucking, though,” I tried to counter. 

“Oh, so you’ll put my cock in your mouth and call it ‘convienience’, but you draw the line at calling that ‘fucking’?” Lee scoffed. “C’mon, sugar. The whole town already knows it.” I tried to keep my chin up, but I know that Lee saw my lip trembling. “Oh,” he chuckled. “Except the whole town doesn’t know, do they? Your little boyfriend goes to sacrifice himself for the betterment of our fuckin’ country, and you’re here, whoring yourself out for me? Is that why you don’t wanna fuck me proper? Saving your first time for that bitch-boy?” 

“I’m not a virgin,” I said, but Lee instantly saw through my lie. 

“Bullshit,” he said. “You know how I know? You suck cock like a high schooler.” Lee’s hand went to my waist, and he held me a tight, bruising grip. His hands were so much stronger than I had imagined, and an unfamiliar heat bloomed between my legs. My arousal wasn’t usually a part of the supply closet moments between us, and I had never really felt that before my boyfriend left. This was uncharted territory for me, and I hated that Lee seemed to instantly know that. “I bet you think about me every night, don’t you?” Lee asked. He leaned into me and pressed a kiss to my neck, and a shiver ran down my spine. “Don’t you?” He growled, taking my skin between his front teeth. 

“Fuck,” I hissed. “You’re a dick.”

“Answer me,” Lee snapped, smacking my ass hard enough to make me gasp in pain. “You think of me fucking you stupid every single goddamn night, don’t you? I can tell, with the way you eye me at the station. You’re not subtle, honey, not in the slightest.” 

“Lee,” I whimpered. “You’re hurting me.” 

“Good,” Lee huffed into my neck. He shoved his hips against mine with enough force for my waist to collide with my countertop, and I became well and truly stuck between Lee’s rock-hard cock and the counter. I knew what he was offering, and I couldn’t deny that the thought of his thick cock inside of me made butterflies erupt in my tummy. He kissed my neck, becoming more needy by the second, and he finally sank his teeth into my skin. “Gonna have to make up your mind, sugar, or I’ll do it for you.” 

I gulped down my anxiety, and I whispered, “Be gentle.” 

“That’s a good girl,” Lee chuckled. “Show me where that bed is, sugar. I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you can’t remember your own goddamn name.” 

As soon as I pulled Lee into my bedroom, he had pushed me onto the bed and was kissing me hard. He bit my lips and sucked on my tongue, and he swallowed every pathetic moan I let out. God, I was pathetic. I was shaking, I wanted him so badly. Lee obviously knew that and had no problem with letting it go to his head, because he situated himself over me and gave me a wolfish smile. “You want me to undress you, sugar?” he asked. 

“I can do it,” I told him. 

Quickly, I rid myself of my nightshirt, and my skin tingled at the exposure to the air. Lee gave a gentle sigh, almost like one of relief, and dipped his head to my chest. He ran his tongue from the dip of my neck to between my breasts, and he latched his teeth onto one of my nipples with no warning. I nearly gave a shout of surprise, but I kept it contained. If this bit of foreplay was any indication, there would be enough time for shouting and crying later. 

“These…” Lee growled, grabbing at my breasts with rough hands. “Perfect fuckin’ tits, sugar, Jesus. Wanna come all over them. I just might have to.” 

Lee’s mouth went to my other breast, and one of his hands fluttered down from my chest to my waist, and even lower. Again, without so much as a censure, he pushed a finger past my folds and sunk himself knuckle-deep into my throbbing heat. My back arched against my will and I cried out at the amazing feel of it, and Lee laughed into my tits. “I’m only doin’ this ‘cause it’s your first time,” Lee told me, slowly dragging his finger in and out of me. It was a feeling like nothing I had ever experienced before, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. It was so fucking good. “If I had it my way, I’d already have my cock in you. Have you on your belly, fucking the hell outta you, watching myself fuck you so deep.”

“Please, Lee,” I sobbed. 

Through my watery gaze, I saw Lee smile against my chest. “Oh, what a good girl,” he moaned softly. “You’re my little fuck-toy, ain’t ya? Just fuckin’ desperate and begging for it. I guess it won’t take too long to fuck you absolutely stupid, will it?” I shook my head, and I jerked in surprise when his calloused finger drove itself into that spot inside of me. I called out his name; I was too far gone to care about the sick pleasure I knew it gave him. “Beg for it, sugar. Beg me to fuck you dumb.” 

“Please, Lee,” I whimpered. “Lee, fuck, please. I-I want you to fuck me so hard, please, babe.” 

Lee withdrew his fingers from me and sent a hard slap to my throbbing clit. This time, my gasp was one of genuine pain. “That ain’t what you call me and you fuckin’ know it,” he grunted. “Do it right or don’t do it at all.” 

I knew what he wanted, and I was too far gone to care. “Oh, Daddy, please,” I mewled, squirming, longing for his touch once more. “Fuck me, Daddy, fuck me ‘til I can’t walk. I want you so deep in my pussy, please.” 

“That’s more like it,” Lee whispered. Then, with a strength that I didn’t know that he possessed, he turned me onto my stomach and tugged my hips into the air. My arms shook as I tried to steady myself, and I felt my wet arousal drip down my thigh. As I tried to steady my breathing and remove the fog from my mind, I heard the sounds of Lee undoing his belt and shoving his pants down his thick thighs. His big hand captured a handful of my hair unexpectedly and he tugged me upright with only a small huff of exertion, and he bit my neck again. Lee Bodecker was an animal, and I liked it that way. 

One hand stayed in my hair as his other guided himself inside of me, and I nearly felt sick. The stretch was otherworldly and, dare I say, painful. Maybe the prep he had been doing wasn’t such a poor idea. But I had made my bed; now I had to lie in it. “Slow down,” I panted, feeling the tears return, and I writhed in his grip. “Fuck, Daddy, it hurts.” 

“I know it does,” Lee whispered, biting my ear. “But you asked for this. You asked for me to fuck you, and I’m gonna do just that. And ya know what? I think I’ll come in this pretty little cunt. What do you think of that?” I started to protest, but Lee shoved his fingers in my mouth, effectively shutting me the hell up. Even if I wanted to say something, I couldn’t. “Fill you up to the fuckin’ brim, have it drip outta you, it’ll be such a filthy thing to see. Your little boytoy comes home from the war and you’ve been letting an older, married guy stuff you full of cum? You think he’ll like that? Think he’ll wanna share?” Lee snapped his hips forward, fully burying himself inside of me, and I gave a wrecked sob around his fingers. I thought for sure that he would split me in two. 

Lee’s fingers dug into my hip as he started a steady rhythm. I truly had no idea how old he was-- I imagined probably late 30s or early 40s-- but he was fucking me hard and fast with the stamina of someone my age. Either he had a lot of expertise in the field or he truly had the fantasy of coming inside of me and was wanting to hurry the process along. The more I thought about it, I realized that I really knew nothing about Lee. Not his wife’s name or if he had kids; I didn’t even know that he had a sister until he had mentioned it earlier. However, something about not knowing was better than knowing. At least, this way, I could sort-of distance myself from the act. I was fucking the sheriff (or, technically, he was fucking me), but we weren’t an item. I was just his favorite toy. 

Lee suddenly wrenched my arms behind me and captured them against his chest, fully restraining me and leaving me pliable for him. With his fingers still in my mouth, I could hardly do anything but submit, but I liked that. I couldn’t tell if the throbbing in my pussy was pleasure borne from the way he was punishing my g-spot, or pain derived from his taut balls hitting my wet pussy every second. I had gotten my wish; there was to be no walking in the morning. I could feel spit gathering at the corners of my mouth, and I nearly choked on it, but Lee suddenly slowed down, molding his soft body against my back. “Fuck, honey, I’m gettin’ close,” he panted in my ear. “Now’s the time to tell me if you want me to come in ya or not.” 

His fingers left my mouth, and I tried to form any thought. Lee was the only thing in my head, though, and I could only whimper out his name. That was answer enough for him, because he released my arm and shoved me down onto the bed. His hand grasped the back of my neck and held me down as his hips pounded in and out of me, huffing and panting. I never could have imagined that the sound of that would have turned me on as much as it did, but my muscles tightened around his fat cock, and he laughed. “Aw,” he cooed. “Does the little cunt need to come? I’ll be honest, I forgot all about that. Wanna make a mess all over Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” 

I answered with a keening whine, but that didn’t seem to be enough for Lee. He smacked my ass hard, surely adding to the redness and bruising that I know already existed, and he fisted my hair tighter. “Answer me, bitch,” he growled. “Say it. Say ‘I wanna come on your cock, Daddy’.” 

“I wanna--” I started, and a shudder went down my body when I felt something warm and wet find home on my asshole. I was so far past the point of degradation, and my mind instantly went somewhere else. I had heard about that, sure, but I had never imagined that that could be something that I wanted. And yet, here I was, Lee’s spit coating my ass, mumbling out words that would send me to hell. “Fuck, Daddy. Can you fuck my ass?” 

“Oh, is that what you want?” Lee asked. “As tempting as that is, I’ll save that for another night. I’m not sure you’re a virgin, sugar, begging for it up the ass. But, fuck, it looks so good… I guess we have something to look forward to, huh?” 

Lee’s arm wound around my body and he instantly went to my poor clit. His fingers had tugged at it enough to make it tender to the touch, and he abused it as he fucked right into my g-spot. “Jesus Christ,” Lee whispered. “Squeezing the shit outta me. I’m serious, honey, let me know if you don’t want me to come in you. You’re about to not-- fuck, Y/N-- have a choice.” 

“I want it,” I told him. “I fuckin’ want it.” 

That seemed to be the final straw, because Lee sent one more hard fuck into me, and I felt his cock twitch before warmth spilled into my pussy. The squelching as he continued to fuck me through his orgasm was so loud that I was afraid that the whole of Knockemstiff would hear it, but I couldn’t make up my mind on whether I cared or not. Somewhere in the middle of that, Lee cussed and began to rub my belly, whispering sweet things to me that would have felt out of place only minutes before. I didn’t realize that I had come. I liked the feeling of it, though, especially with how sweet Lee was suddenly.

“Good girl,” Lee told me. He shushed me as I moaned and cried, my pleasure edging on pain, and he pushed my hair away from my neck and placed gentle, open-mouthed kisses on my throat. “So, so good for me, ain’t ya? So goddamn pretty when you’re coming all over my cock. I can’t tell you how much I dreamt of this…” 

My entire body trembled as Lee pulled out of me, and I collapsed onto my bed, panting and trying to form a coherent thought that wasn’t just the sheriff’s name. Only a few seconds passed before he was on me again, but it felt different this time. Lee moved the two of us under the blankets and rubbed my back, and he kissed my forehead gently. I nearly thought it was love. As my tears dried and feeling returned to my fingers and toes, I became aware that Lee was naked against me. As far as I knew, he hadn’t undressed as he had fucked me. His skin was so warm and it was comforting, and I nuzzled my head into his soft chest. My throat was so dry as I tried to swallow to form words, and Lee titled my face up in order for me to look him in those pretty blue eyes of his. 

“How’re ya feeling, sugar?” He asked, his voice as wrecked and raw as mine. “Feelin’ alright?”

“Sore,” I mumbled. “It hurts, Lee.” 

“I’m sorry, honey,” Lee whispered, and I knew that he was being honest. Lee was perhaps the biggest jerk in town, his elected title obviously inflating his ego more than it should have, but I never knew that he was capable of being sweet in this manner. “I was real rough with ya and I just shouldn’t have been. I feel plum awful ‘bout it.” 

“No,” I croaked, splaying my hands against his chest. Underneath the coarse hair, I could make out white marks on his skin, and I pressed my forehead against him. As I studied his body, I saw more and more of the marks, and it was only when I saw my hip against his that I connected the dots. Stretch marks. My Lee had stretch marks all over him, just like I did. “Please don’t. I woulda stopped you if it was too much. Thank you.”

Lee nodded and sighed into my messy hair. “You looked so beautiful,” he told me. “Any man that calls you his is a lucky fuckin’ bastard, I’ll tell you that much.” 

I couldn’t help myself. My lips pressed against my chest, and I took care to kiss every mark I laid my eyes on. “You’re…” I began. “You’re gorgeous, Lee.” 

“Nah, knock that shit off,” Lee chuckled. “I ain’t nothin’ compared to you, sugar.” 

“No, really,” I told him. “Those big blue eyes, your pink cheeks… Your fat fuckin’ cock--” I laughed at myself, and Lee kissed the top of my head. “You’re the most handsome man I ever met.”

“Even more than your soldier boyfriend?” Lee asked. 

“My soldier boyfriend’s like a twig, Lee,” I told him. “There’s nothing there for me. But you…” 

“I’m fuckin’ fat, s’what I am,” Lee said with a smile, but I saw the hurt in his eyes. “I’m old and I’m fat--”

“Alright, shut up,” I said. Suddenly, a different sort of desire burned in me, and I pushed Lee onto his back before I straddled his waist. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you, ya hear? You are fucking perfect, Lee.”

The insecurity flashed across his face, darkening his features for only a second. “But the marks--” 

I twisted my body to show him my hip and thigh. “I got ‘em too,” I said. “And don’t act like you didn’t see them, not for one second. And what did you do? You didn’t give a shit. I don’t either. They’re a part of you, and you are so sexy, Lee. I wanted to jump your bones from the moment I met you, and nothing ‘bout that’s changed and nothing’ll make it change. And ya know what? I’d reckon you’re stuck with me, so get used to it.” 

“Oh, I’m stuck with ya, am I?” Lee asked with a smile. He tugged me down to him, pressing his tongue into my mouth once more, and the ache between my legs was replaced with the now-familiar pleasing tingle. “And I get no say in it?” 

“I think you got your say when you wanted to fuck me up the ass,” I said, sinking my teeth into his plush bottom lip. “What a fuckin’ cliche we are, huh? The sheriff fuckin’ his secretary.” 

“When I first hired you,” Lee began, his warm hands traveling all over my body, and his fingers took special care to trace the white marks along my thighs, hips, tits, and ass. “My wife hated the idea. She said she was worried that late nights at the station would wreak havoc on me, and having a pretty little thing like you there with me was dangerous.” 

“Don’t go talkin’ ‘bout your wife,” I groaned. “That’s such a turn off, Lee.” 

“Oh, is it?” Sheriff Lee Bodecker laughed, stuffing his fingers back inside me, just like nothing had ever happened. “‘Cause you seem all wet for Daddy, just the same.” 

[satorinni]

𝕞𝕦𝕥𝕖

track 18: feelings?

Kenma has never really been a people person. Yeah, over the years he’s gotten better with ‘human interaction’ , but he would still prefer to be alone. There were very few people whose company he didn’t mind, and recently he had been contemplating whether you should be added to the list. Though that idea has been teetering in and out of his mind given the fact you two hadn’t actually hung out in person.  Actually, save for the one pants-less interaction, neither of you had ever been in the same room together. But still, he kinda likes you. More than a friend, he’d like to think. Though the idea scared the fuck out of him, he would actually like to take you on a real date. One that didn’t result in your dinner being up in flames. 

Maybe he’d even take you to a cutesy café in Tokyo. Like the one he was currently sitting in. Eating apple pie. Across from a girl. A girl who definitely wasn’t you. 

“Honestly, I don’t know why you didn’t just become a model.” After the photoshoot, Etsuko insisted on getting a bite to eat. Something about wanting to catch up because it’s been a whole year. He didn’t really understand why, he knew for a fact Kuroo called her every time something juicy happened to him. Whatever that meant. Besides, he couldn’t turn down a slice of his favorite food.

“Because wearing stupid clothes and standing in front of a camera for hours is not my ideal career, ‘Tsuko.” He took another bite of what was left of his slice. He’s glad he chose to sit in a booth away from the windows, he had already been recognized twice on the way here. It’s why he did his best to avoid walking through the city. Especially dressed like this.

“C’mon, Kenmaaaa, the button up is cute. You look like a businessman.” She snorts through her smoothie straw. 

“I am a businessman. I’m quite literally a CEO.” He gives her a deadpan stare before taking a sip from his own milkshake. “I don’t know how your rooster boy manages to wear this stupid getup 24/7. I’m suffocating in these slacks.” He’d been pulling at the tight-fitting pants all day, but the magazine suggested he look professional for the shoot.

“What’s the matter, Kenma? Too much junk in the front?” Etsuko wiggles her eyebrows at him. She always did have the dirtiest mind. 

“Gross, ‘tsuko.” He squints at her and shakes his head. 

“Speaking of your little fella, when was the last time you got laid, baby boy?” Despite her suggestive tone, Kenma knew she was genuinely curious. She was the one who told him what sex was anyway. Gross, he shudders at the memory. 

“Is that an offer, ‘Tsuko?” He knew it wasn’t, and he knew even if it was the answer would be no, but he was deflecting. 

“Only if you let me post it on the hub.” She winks at him and slurps at her empty cup for emphasis. “Quit deflecting, Kenma, I heard about your lil boo thang.” She cracks up at her own joke and asks the waiter for a refill. 

Kenma scrunches his nose in disgust. “Don’t call her that.” Yeah, you guys weren’t dating, and yeah, you probably didn’t even know he liked you, but still. 

“Look at you, defending her honor, how sweet.” She mockingly shakes her head at every word. “I heard you stole her from little rooster boy.” She leans in towards him, like it was some big secret.

“Of course he exaggerated that, he’s the one who set her food on fire. Besides, she texted me first.” He recounts the way he freaked the fuck out when he saw you texted him. His demeanor was always more calm over the internet, probably why he had millions of fans, but he was still an antisocial wreck IRL.

“Ahh, so she’s ballsy, huh. Who knew little Kenma liked bold girls? Tell me about her.” She leans her head into her palm. To anyone else she would’ve dropped it already, losing interest. But this was Kenma, she was always poking her nose into his business. 

“She’s a med student, same age as me. Friend of a friend, I guess. “ He shrugs. He figured that would keep her dormant enough to change the subject. 

“You got yourself a smarty pants. Cute, but that’s not what I wanted to know.” She raises her eyebrow at him. “Do you like her? Is this just a hump and dump? You gonna marry her?” Her eyes got wider with every question, it kinda freaked him out. 

Damn, he thought he could dodge it, but Etsie has always been super pushy. “I don’t know. I mean I'm definitely not gonna hit it & quit it. I haven’t even hung out with her for real.  And dude, I’m 23, m’not thinking about marrying anyone at the moment.” He held his breath and figured that was enough. He was not ready to admit it out loud yet.

“Ah ah ah, you skipped a question, baby boy.” She gives him a devilish grin and leans in even closer. “I won’t tell a soul.”

Okay, even if she was a bit much, Etsuko never spilled Kenma’s secrets. To anyone. Not even Kuroo. But it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. It was just... Was he ready to admit he had feelings? It's only been a few months, and he hadn’t even spoken to you in person. So what if he texted and called you 24/7? Wouldn’t it be too early? You’d probably be freaked out if he went ahead and confessed his feelings so early on. 

Ah, fuck it. 

“Yeah, ‘Tsuko. I like her. Like a lot. She’s funny as hell, smart as shit, and she gets me. Plus she’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. Like, prettier than you.” He knows that would probably offend any other girl, but he was only ever straight up with ‘Tsuko.

“EEK!” Etsuko lets out a pig squeal that has other customers staring in confusion. She balls her fists up and starts shaking aggressively. “My baby boy has a crush! EEK! I’m so proud of you.” She leans over the whole table and grabs Kenma’s face, placing a loud kiss on his forehead. 

He flicks her forehead and smiles. “Shut up, it’s not like this is the first crush I’ve ever had.”

“I take pride in being your first crush, little bro.” She places her hand on her chest in mock pain, but the grin on her face exposes itself. 

“When you put it like that it sounds like incest. I was 8, you weirdo. ” Both were true, when Kenma first met Etsuko he developed a crush on her. (Mostly because she was the only girl who he’d ever interacted with.) It only lasted a month anyway; he eventually got annoyed with how much her and her brother were at his house. Now, after 15 years of being stuck with Kuroo, Kenma could only ever see them both as the siblings he never had. 

“Still, I was your first love, Kenma.” She looks off dramatically into the distance, as if she was having a flashback.

“You’re gay.” The smirk on his face gives off his slight amusement with her stupidly dramatic antics. 

“Now, “ She slams her hands on the table, causing more people to stare and the silverware to rattle, “Aren’t you going to ask me about my lovelife?” 

“No, I don’t care.” He snorts at the hurt look on her face. 

“Well, my girlfriend is doing WONDERFUL, Kozume Kenma, thanks for asking.” She crosses her arms and sticks her nose in the air.

“Yeah, whatever, you’re paying.” He pulls out his phone to see if there are any texts from you. On cue, the notification on his phone displays your name. He grins down at the unopened text, not even bothering to hide his happiness from Etsuko. 

Mid-rant about how he should pay because he’s got all the money, she stops and stares at him. A soft smile appears on her face, a swell of pride shoots through her. She only ever saw Kenma as a baby brother, and was genuinely happy for his growth over the years. 

Suddenly, Kenma’s phone flashes with your contact, a facetime call from you. 

“I gotta take this.” He moves to sit up, but looks up at Etsuko at the last second. 

She grins and nods towards the door. 

“Go get em, tiger.”

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: kozume kenma x medstudent!f!reader

𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: send an ask to be added!

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤: enroute to being a neurosurgeon, y/n l/n doesn’t have time for fun, let alone dating. after her friends set her up on a blind date gone wrong, she comes face 2 face with none other than her date’s best friend. her world flips on axis, and suddenly she has no idea how her brain works, or love-at-first-sight.

𝕒/𝕟: this was probably rlly poorly written LMFOAD

taglist!

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[seoafin]

in chp 58, there’s this subtletly of gojo’s insecurity,, which is kind of obvious when u rly squint lol but again,, this is another mistranslation 😐 (1)

a panel of gojou training megumi which goes :

m: well beggars cant be choosers

g : is it that annoying? to ask me?

what gojou is actually asking in the panel is 「そんなに嫌？僕に頼るの？」－ "is it that bad to rely on me?" ,, the raw specifically used tayoru “頼る” 🥴

i think the whole point of 'fostering the next generation of strong jujutsu sorcerers' stems from this insecurity or rather his inner (and very well hidden) knowledge that he isn't invincible and he can't be relied on indefinitely

that's what bothers me about the fanon’s misconception that gojou has a 'god complex' the idea that gojou is the superior shaman doesn't come from him but from everyone else in his world,, it's a burden that was placed on him he's just trying to deal with it

but sometimes ur disinterest or indifference doesn't make u a better, bigger person ,,, gojou isn't necessarily a better person than geto just bc he didn't stray off the path. his indifference speaks volumes,, but yes he’s trying ig

but does this stop me from clowning this mf ? NO

jjk translation team 😭😭,, i rly dont even want to know what goes on behind the scene anymore,,,

I WAS SO HAPPY THAT JGKRK ACTUALLY HAVE A DECENT TRANSLATOR , i picked the series up like a week after i first caught up with jjk and was side eyeing it like “pls dont tell me its like jjk’s m.tl” after reading the EN tl b4 trying to re read with jp raws

the problem with translated things is that,, u have no idea if ur actually reading the manga/ manhuas/ webnovels/ etc or if ur reading what the translator interpreted with their personal bias

yes, morally grey/ ambiguos characters are so sexc to read but,, i dont even want to know if i have crossed path with those kind of ppl irl, in this life or the next one (i did twice actually, and hope that there wont be a third time💀) ,, getting into convos where it leads into someone questioning humans’ rights (to live) get my gears running on how to ghost them right away like HUHH IKFYL, HOW DO U ARRIVE TO SUCH CONCLUSIONS,,, im both fascinated and wary of human’s thought process

on an unrelated note,, YES!!! VNC IS GETTING ANIMATED AND BLUE PERIOD TOO ,, im not going to start with pandora hearts 🥴

also if ur going to start tog, i think it will be better once it’s out of hiatus (it’s almost been a year now) 😔 the story is actually getting real good,, this is one of the series i cant even talk abt bc it will be very biased ,, I JUST RLY LOVE HOW THE FEMALE CHARACTERS ARE WRITTEN , STRONG WOMEN GO BRRR

all of them are empowering but it doesn't mean that these women shld lose the sense of femininity (there’s more than enough series i went thru where the author turned the powerful women into sth akin with “not-like-the-other-girls” and reeks of sth,, finding out SIU (tog’s creator) is a man was so surprising like am i actually seeing this right?)

,, the story line is one hell of a slowburn but everyone is connected even the npc-ish turns out to have their hand dipped in the bigger picture not to mention the lore - 🐱 (2)

forgot to add this but i’m curious if part of megumi’s exasperation towards gojou is bc he cant be fit into the “black or white” box since gojou’s a gray character lol (3) - 🐱

yes!! i saw that translation mistake! I don’t know how they translated that into “do you hate me that much?” HATE RELYING!! ugh

i think one of gojo’s biggest flaws is that even though he knows and acknowledges that he needs strong comrades, he will always fall back on doing things solo because he’s the strongest, and that’s just the way that it’s been for so long. that is not the definition of a god complex at all lol

I’m planning on reading blue period. I’ve heard really really good things about it so im excited, especially since i finished jigokuraku yesterday. LOVED THE ENDING.

i haven’t read tog in so long!! i think I was in the part where rachel betrayed baam or smt I don’t even remember it’s been like 5 years so I can’t comment on how SIU writes women bc I’m p sure back then I was still struggling with my own occasional instances of internalized misogyny LMAO 😭 

everyone in jjk degree is gray to a degree, which I think is one of my favorite things about it. I can’t wait for this week’s chapter and what lord tengen is going to tell them....I need more information on gojo’s family/everything !!!

[kisekinodrabbles]

helloo! i'd like to request something for the prompt game please :D kasamatsu + band!au + strangers to lovers + dialogue number 14 if that's okay? thanks, sam! and welcome back~

ofc!!! i tried to keep it shorter but im a bit rusty w my kasamatsu hehe hope u enjoy! wc: 2.3k

Kasamatsu admits that balancing his band and college work isn’t exactly an easy task. Between late evenings spent at gigs and all nights at the library, he is on the brink of his sanity, standing right at the tipping point. He yawns as he enters his nine am mandatory calculus class, another mistake made in his overconfidence that he would somehow be able to get his shit together.

You, on the other hand, are a closeted fan of his band, sitting three rows behind him in class. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you watch him drag his feet in and his hand lifting to his mouth in a yawn. Quickly, you duck behind your book as if Kasamatsu would ever give you the time of day. The brunette is well-known on campus with his successful group and good looks, not to mention he also dabbles a little in basketball while also maintaining a decent grade point average across all his classes. Triple threat, they call him.

When you first came into class and saw him there, shocked is an understatement. You’ve been following his band his high school from across the country. To see him in the flesh, so real and so human with his tired eyes, it almost feels like a dream. One you hope nobody would ever pinch you awake from. Thus, you made it your goal to be there before him every morning, which is a feat in itself. Kasamatsu may be grinding through the night and falling asleep in lectures, but he’ll be damned if he shows up late to class.

Throughout several weeks, you’ve seen girls come up to him left and right, shot down almost immediately by his intention to focus on the professor’s words. He lets them down easy and makes it clear that he pays thousands of dollars to study, not play IRL Tinder. This man gets sexier everyday.

You take your time packing your things when class is over, mainly because you’re too distracted watching Kasamatsu do the same. He is blind, or chooses to ignore, the whispers and shy glances thrown his way. Perhaps this is why you haven’t approached him yourself. You’re just one of his many admirers, a stroke in the massive painting of his life. Sighing, you pick up your pitiful self and make your way to the dining hall where you’re supposed to meet your friend for breakfast.

When the two of you settle on a table, you begin your weekly rambling about how beautiful Kasamatsu looks in the morning. Moriyama, being the good friend that he is, nods and listens intently.

Moriyama is an intriguing character. The two of you met because he had tried a line on you. In your perpetual state of flustered embarrassment, you had stupidly confessed to him: “Sorry, my heart belongs to Kasamatsu Yukio.”

In another twist of fate, he revealed that he had actually gone to high school with the guy and knew him pretty well.

“You know I can introduce you to him, right? No need for all this pining and drooling from three feet away.”

“It’s not the same,” you argue, “he’s practically a living legend on campus. I’m too intimidated to even breathe in the same air as him.” Your obsession has perhaps taken you too far, but if you expect to continue being his fan, the last thing you want is to scare him away.

“You’re so overdramatic,” Moriyama rolls his eyes. Coming from him, this sentence means a lot.

“What? It’s not my fault Kasamatsu’s so hot. He could bang me so hard backstage then pretend I don’t exist and I would still pay to watch his next show,” you groan, spooning yogurt into your mouth.

In that moment, several things happen. Moriyama’s eyes widen and fly behind you. Footsteps sounding at that same spot suddenly cease completely. You, realizing what possibly just happened, feel the heat flare up your cheeks.

Kasamatsu, in his sleep deprived state and probably completely delirious, had stopped in his tracks. His head whipped around to the source of the comment, finding Moriyama sitting with someone who looks distinctly familiar, but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

“Kasamatsu—”

Before Moriyama can even finish his sentence, Kasamatsu is already blurting out. “Okay, maybe I’m crazy but did I just hear you say that out loud?”

You want to crawl into your hole six feet underground and never see the light of day again. Ducking your head, you don’t even want to chance a glance up. The utter mortification is chewing away at your bones and you wish you could just evaporate into thin air.

Moriyama quickly interjects with a quick laugh, “Hear what? Also how have you been, man? I haven’t seen you in forever. Come join us for breakfast.”

Kasamatsu’s brows pucker. Maybe he really is going insane. And horny. Which is a very bad combination. Nevertheless, he slides into the empty seat next to Moriyama. He stares at you for a few seconds, squinting, before snapping his fingers. “Oh, I remember now. You’re in my calculus class.”

He knows you? “How do you know me?” you squeak, cursing your fangirl self for losing your voice. You never speak up in class, always choosing to come up to your professor for questions at the end of lecture. You’re quiet and tucked away behind him, so you never expected him to recognize you.

The smile he sends you is blinding. Even with shadows under his eyes, he still looks gorgeous. “You’re always first to arrive and last to leave. Figured you’re a hard worker in class and probably acing it.”

Your mouth dries. Kasamatsu noticed you. He actually noticed you. “Oh, um, I’m okay. I’m okay in class, I mean.”

“The question you should be asking is her name, Kasamatsu,” Moriyama scolds, smacking his back.

Kasamatsu pinks sheepishly. “Sorry, yeah. I’m Kasamatsu Yukio, by the way.”

Idiotically, you blurt out “I know” before your name. When you finally introduce yourself, you also clarify, “I’m a huge fan of Blue Devils. I mean, I’ve been following you guys since like high school. Absolutely love your music.”

The man actually reddens even further, but still he beams proudly. “Thank you! That’s crazy. Have you been to our shows?”

Almost all of them. “A couple, yeah.”

“We have one tonight in an actual venue. Are you coming?”

“Ah, it was sold out before I could get a ticket, actually.”

Kasamatsu blinks, “Oh, you’re more than welcome to come. I can get you a pass. Both of you—if Moriyama’s interested.”

“That would be amazing!” You grin, “Is there anything I can get you in return? I don’t want to just accept a gift from you for free.”

“Well, if you are good at calc, I wouldn’t mind some extra tutoring,” he suggests with a teasing grin.

Moriyama rolls his eyes, “Just ask her out instead of using tutoring as an excuse.” The two of you sputter, face colored a dark shade of red. You’ll kick his ass when you get the chance.

—

That one mistake turned out to be the greatest opportunity of your life. In addition to attending his show that night and meeting all of his bandmates, each one more good looking up close than then other, you manage to have weekly study sessions (you’re holding off on calling it dates) with Kasamatsu. The two of you take turns booking rooms at the library to cram, which mainly consists of you reexplaining concepts to the man. Although he isn’t a bad student, he’s also still struggling a bit to keep up.

“Hey” is what you hear before you feel a warm surface press against your cheek. You look up to find Kasamatsu with a steaming cup in hand. Gratefully accepting it, you catch a whiff of freshly brewed tea. You take a sip and smile. Black tea, no sugar. “Just the way I like it.”

“Noticed you never add anything to your tea,” Kasamatsu says almost proudly.

You raise the cup to him in thanks. Both of you go through your usual routine—you focusing on reviewing material for next week while Kasamatsu pores over his notes from this week, occasionally poking you to ask questions.

Honestly, a big part of you still wonders if this is all a dream. This guy you’ve been crushing on for years is sitting in the flesh right across from you. You peek at him from time to time, watching the way he frowns at his book. His blue, almost grey, eyes shine underneath the flickering lights. Even the way his lips curl unhappily is cute.

When he catches you staring, you quickly drop your gaze back to your laptop, missing the way he smiles quietly.

“Will you come to our show this weekend?” He asks as the two of you pack up.

“Ah, I have a shift at my part-time job.”

He looks surprised, “That late?”

You shrug, “Food never sleeps, I guess. It’s at the burger diner by campus.”

“Oh, are you guys open late?”

“Close at one.”

He nods, “Maybe I’ll see you there after then. The guys usually get really hungry after a gig so we can drive some business your way. I’ll make sure they tip well too.”

Your heart warms at the thought. It’s a thoughtful gesture but you’re even more thrilled at the prospect of seeing him. “Sounds good.”

True to his word, Kasamatsu brings the guys to your workplace at midnight after their show ended. They order quite a spread, practically everything on the menu. Kasamatsu goes as far as to help you carry orders to their table. You shoot him an appreciative smile.

Over the time your friendship has bloomed, Kasamatsu has been nothing but a gentleman. He walks you home to your dorm if you’re studying late into the night. He meets you in class with a muffin or a cookie from his early Starbucks runs. Surprisingly, he begins placing himself next to you each session. “This is better anyway,” he mutters. “Two birds, one stone.”

His vague words had you tilting your head in question.

“I don’t have random people coming up to me to sit with me and, well, I get to enjoy your company.” It’s a nice thought—him enjoying your company, that is. He had blushed a little when he realized what you said, but chose to direct his attention to the slides pulled up before him, missing the way you hide your smile behind your sleeve.

Now, you hear the rowdy boys chattering on as they devour their meal as if it’s their last. They speak through mouthfuls of burgers and fries, but you find the sight endearing, mainly because you’ve never seen Kasamatsu so relaxed. It’s quite refreshing really. Your attention is piqued when you hear one of them ask: “So doing it tonight huh?”

Kasamatsu retorts with a “shut the fuck up” and flings a fry his way. The way the other guy wiggles his brows suggestively has you freezing. What if he was meeting up with someone tonight? What if he was going to do the deed?

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the faint cracking of your heart. Of course, Kasamatsu is popular. It’s no surprise he’s got his nights covered as well. You sigh dejectedly, feeling the hope inside you crumble into dust. The rest of your shift goes by rather uneventfully, but you try to avoid going to their table too much, lest you hear more details about Kasamatsu’s planned tryst. The man himself steals glances your way, wondering if you’ll be checking on them anytime soon.

“Your check,” you smile as you set the bill on the table, “I got the owner to give you a discount since you guys ordered a good amount.”

All of their eyes seem to sparkle as they thank you in unison, their synchrony almost puzzling. As you move to pick up the bill and change, Kasamatsu catches your hand before you move away. “What time does your shift end?”

“Half an hour. Why?”

The other guys are already packing up their things and giving you little waves as they exit the restaurant, leaving the two of you alone. “I’ll walk you home, it’s late,” he murmurs, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“Oh, you don’t have to! I usually take the bus back anyway so it’s no big deal.” You want to confirm whether he had plans that night anyway. You’d hate to be in the way of that.

He shakes his head, “I insist. Also, um, are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Catching up on studying most likely.”

“Oh,” he pauses, “if you have time tomorrow night, do you want to catch a movie with me? Maybe dinner after?”

You blink at him in surprise. Now that you’re looking at him properly, you notice that his cheeks are several shades darker than the red neon glow of the diner sign. He’s shifting on his feet and his other hand finds purchase on the strap of his bag, fidgeting with the material. “Um, like a date?”

“Y-yeah,” he stutters slightly, his throat moving as he swallows. “Sorry, I probably should’ve made that clear,” he coughs, “b-but if you don’t want it to be the we can also go as friends.” Perhaps you’ve tortured the boy long enough but you can’t help but relish in his awkward chuckle as his hand lifts to rub the back of his neck nervously.

Biting back a huge grin, you nod. “It’s a date.”

Kasamatsu’s eyes light up and a pleased grin spread across his face. “It’s a date.”

The hollering outside the building has the two of you whipping to face the window where his bandmates have their faces pressed up against the surface, laughing and smiling to congratulate and embarrass their friend. Kasamatsu flushes, “I’ll see you later to pick you up.”

You nod but he’s already out the door, leaping to kick his friends away. “You stupid idiots!”

Laughing, you watch as the group makes kissy faces at Kasamatsu all the while the man fruitlessly attempts to shut them up. He really is cute.

[captainshyguy]

not to be a little melancholic but i've been thinking a bit about all the people that have come and gone in my general social circle like. not just irl, but online too. the close friends, who eventually left, and the ones on the outskirts, but were always there. at least, for a time. the people you never quite talked to, but were in your bubble, in your life, if just for a bit. the people who will only be icon, words on a screen to me. the people who will forever be 14 in my memories, because its all i have of them 

its just...its weird yknow? not even getting into social circles from school, friends you grew apart from, friends of friends of friends in your class that you had an odd connection with

but online its like. i’ve been in a few online communities in my time. the penguins of madagscar community on fanpop, one for the same fandom on deviantart, the agents of shield one here, then the maze runner, then star wars, then mario, then star wars again...i’d say ‘and hollow knight now’ but lets be honest, i haven’t made....many friends or even mutuals through it solely X]

i guess my point is like. all of these communities were different people. and over time, whilst i’ve generally stayed put (until i was physically the last one left, and jumped ship, like fanpop) people just. they left yknow? maybe it took a couple of months, maybe a couple of years, but they did, and its such an almost...odd thing to experience

im not saying people cant leave, not at all but it just made me think how many people i’ve known, how many i’ve been friends with, how many existed in my orbit. how many i only have pieces of. and i guess...how many people’s orbits i was in. the person i was in the past lives on through each and every one of then, and i have no idea what stuck. what’s their ‘luke’ memory, their takeway. heck, some of them wouldn't even have it by that name. 

one thing im glad about in a way is like. from each of the communities that like. meant something to me, i managed to grab a few people almost. a few that also dug their heels in, a few that are still in my orbit, however close or far, but they’re there. they’re posting actively or somewhat actively and i know where to find them. and thats nice 

it just makes me wonder sometimes yknow?? how many people currently in my circle, currently in my orbit, will eventually leave one day? who will stop posting, who’s icon i simply will never see again.

i do hope, with all my heart, that all the ones that i fell out of touch with are doing well 

(im musing about specific people under the read more, WILL get long kjdfhnd) 

from my primary/secondary school i dont have anyone exactly. the closest i have is one guy i was pretty fond of but not like. romantically. i follow his youtube and whilst i dont really watch the videos seeing his face pop up every now and again is nice. but man i do think back on those secondary school friends. funnily enough by the end whilst i liked my “official” best friends i honestly ended up more fond of others. sarah, priya, shriya, zarah, zi yu, kyle. danny, introducing me to treasure planet, hiding away with him and his friends to watch films in forgotten rooms when it was near the end of the year, then liam, of course, man..its weird he was my best friend in the first few years when i moved there, then we got put in different classes so we just didnt see eahc other much. but that fondness was always, always there. god, and jake....i wonder if he thinks back fondly to the two of us pretending to be transformers. i wonder if im still jazz to him. god, and then sophia, just, not even hanging out but having our little ‘hot buttered toast’ song. i hope thats the memory she has of me. (i haven’t even listed everyone from this part, and i couldnt! it was a 7-8 year period of my life! right during my brain developmental stages!!)

its weird i was in love with ryan for nearly three years. a lot of those memories are soured knowing one of my friends spread it around school and everyone secretly knew, (and looking back i was way out of his league like, morally lol) but still. maybe once or twice a year i’ll dream about him, and for a brief moment, im there, sitting with him in geography as he shows me magic tricks, during that period i do genuinely think he liked me too (before it wore off for him lol) and im still in love. 

from college, man....ewan was like. i have a feeling he was leading me on since he had a girlfriend lmao, and was just flirting for fun bc he saw i was shy and was trying to get me to react, but it never felt like bullying yknow? i dont think he was actively trying to make fun of me. so i dont know, it was nice, it felt nice and it still kinda does. 

khairun.....im so glad i still have her. i’m still a little gay for her. i remember sitting with her on the bus, riding for hours as we were on the geology trip, and she would ramble about the game of thrones video game and she’d squint so happily and her eyes would sparkle. she talks about dark souls now and i only see her messages, but i can still feel her enthusiasm. or tanisha and fatima, my other geology friends, my maze runner friends. seeing the scorch trials with fatima in the cinema. joking about newt and thomas with tanisha. sitting around the table with my actual friend group, in the big lounge chair reading the tolkien dictonary, joking about the flash with bindiya. sleeping around maddie’s house and playing would you rather. 

heck, i didnt even touch on teachers!!! teachers i connected with so much on a genuine level!!! mrs chambers, mr hauge, mr wrght, miss lloyd, mr hutchinson, miss petra, mrs young! mrs mohammed, mr santa maria, mr longdon, miss langley, mrs maize, miss davies. i know with teachers, the kids must start to blur together at a point. but i just....i hope, at least. with those first two, they’ll remember me, just a bit. i keep having dreams where im in my old school, and i try to find them., i’ve found mr hague a few times. but until about a month ago, whenever i got to geography, miss chambers was never there. im glad i finally found her. 

then fanpop...lexii, having the same birthday as me, talking with kait and roleyplaying as penguin ocs in high stakes situations. dating dylan fkjdngjdh, rigging the club’s presidential election. its weird, i dont have a lot of memories from this time. just....just people? people posting their ocs, people drawing ech others ocs. kaitlyn, anya, kait, dylan, lexii, imaneasel, mya, peacebaby, madascargirl, kate, starslight, imogen, tressa, sammi, crystal, cc, syliva, jasmine, hikari, amber,  yellow, steff, lilly, blue, richard, monique, sharpey, hannah, icicle, ratking, cian i- god, there was so many of us. theres more, i can think of more names. there was so many

anya did what i did pretty much and went to deviantart then kinda dug her heels in and didnt leave, though i don think she’s more active on toyhouse. and yet, i still see her art there, so its nice. having her throughout the years has been nice, watching as both of our art improves. she’s always been a bit ahead of me. then cian i’ve been talknig with pretty much every day for about 6 months now, thats been nice 

and then here, man! the agents of shield fandom! man! i dont remember a lot of names honestly besides the ones who stayed, and sam. i hope sam’s okay. y’all who stayed, who are still mutuals, the hm....five of us i think? though the one ofy’all i was closest to isnt around as often X[ but still. im happy y’all are here 

some of y’all that have been around long enoguh will know i was best friends with kacie for a while. from....i think that was my brief stint in the dan and phil fandom. she. well. she’s okay, the last i heard of her. but my overtalking screwed that up i think. my last message from her, a few years later, was amicable at least. i still feel awful about that if i think on it too hard

i think i only picked up ronan from the maze runner, at least, that i talk to, yeah, right, there’s two others that are still about but i dont think we’ve ever held a convo X] 

and u current peeps! from mario, star wars and.....im not quite sure where for some of you! i love u all! especially y’all that have been around forever, just, liking each others posts every now and again., i dont know how many people you all follow, but i follow less than a 100. i might only be a blip on your radar, but i like seeing y’all, genuinely. thank you for being in my orbit. i hope i’m a comforting or at least. nice reliable presence in yours, for as long as we all stick around.  

[dontmeanlove]

not a competition

Pairing: peter parker x female!reader

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: a little cussing, nothing major.

Plot: You’re not competing with Peter Parker, that’s just ridiculous and you were not doing it. No matter what MJ said. You were frenemies with Peter Parker and best friends with spotspidey on instagram. You had no idea what it would mean. 

Prompt: Enemies IRL and best friends online

You weren’t competing with Peter Parker. It was a ridiculous concept, you refused to acknowledge that. But if, and only if, you were competing with him, you were winning anyway.

There was this ongoing thing between you two where you weren’t really enemies, you didn’t even talk if you were honest, but the two of you were always trying to one-up the other.

You didn’t know when it all started, but now you announced your grades nonchalantly loud whenever Peter was around and when he was the one with a better grade you rolled your eyes and scoffed. It didn’t matter that you smirked at him, raising an eyebrow whenever you were the one with the better grade.

It was ridiculous really, that’s why you weren’t competing with him. Nope. Nopety no. It was too lame to admit.

“I can’t believe you’re still doing it,” MJ sounded bored. She had her eyebrow raised when you said you got an A- in physics. You refused to blush.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You tried to sound nonchalant but your voice failed you, you face with a slight blush.

You heard Peter tell Ned he got an A+. You squinted your eyes and pouted.

“C’ mon,” MJ nudged you, “Tell him he’s cute, ask him out or something, this weird dance you’re doing is nauseating.”

“Hey,” You protested. “I don’t like him,” your mumble not really convincing. “He is irritating and smart and dorky.”

“Oh,” MJ chuckled. “You’re in way deeper than I thought.”

“I’m not,” You frowned, you barely stopped yourself from stomping your foot because you’d never hear the end of it.

Your phone chimed, you smiled down at the notification. You opened Instagram and tried to contain a smile.

(yourighandle): spotspidey: school is sucking the life outta me

(yourighandle): spotspidey: I think today took like 5 years out of my life span

You chuckled. He was always dramatic. It was a bit funny how you could feel so strongly about a person you didn’t even know. Sometimes you wondered if you were being catfished, like it was a good possibility but, at the same time, you didn’t really care?

yourighandle: ever so dramatic,,, it’s not that bad.

yourighandle: my day was off to a bad start, I got an A-

spotspidey: who’s dramatic now?

yourighandle: you

spotspidey: no :( meany

yourighandle: aw bby you gonna get over it

You smiled down your phone and ran a hand through your hair. The bell rang way too soon and you sighed.

“I always forget about your ig boyfriend,” MJ looked amused.

“That again? Girl, you seriously need new stuff to talk about.”

“What can I do if you’re into two hopeless boys?!”

“I’m not into either of them.”

“Yeah, right.” MJ wasn’t convinced at all. “Let’s go to class, loser.”

You groaned but followed her through the school to your lockers, they were side by side.

“Where’s that loser penis parker?” You heard Flash say with a tone to his voice that made you frown. “You think I can make him cry today?”

You felt pure rage bubble inside you, you turned to where he was standing and smiled sweetly at him. He smiled back at you, looking surprised. You walked to him and put your hands on his shoulders.

“Oh Flash,” You kept your voice sweet and a smile on your face before you knee him in the balls. “Think again before being such an asshole.”

You cleaned your throat, went back to your locker with a victorious smile on your face, got your things and headed to class. He was on the floor cupping his crotch.

“Oh my god,” MJ was laughing by your side. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Me too,” You laughed along with her. “I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Chill, nobody’s gonna tell on you, everybody knows that Flash is a jerk.”

You shrugged, you didn’t know why you did that. But the thought of anyone messing with Peter Parker after all he went through was too much for you.

Of course, you two had that grades thing going on, but it was never mean or anything. It was like you needed that sense of normalcy that came with this competition (no, you never admitted it was a competition and you never would).

yourighandle: I just kneed a guy in the balls.

You sent to your ig friend as soon as your butt touched the classroom chair. He replied right away.

spotspidey: you go, girl,

spotspidey: what did he do if you don’t mind me asking

yourighandle: asshole bully honestly I don’t know how anyone did it before

spotspidey: that’s even better omg

yourighandle: I can’t help being so cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

spotspidey: lol won’t disagree

You smiled at that, Spotspidey was a dork. It was weird he didn’t say what his name was, so you also didn’t share any personal info. You weren’t dumb, stranger danger and all that, your mom taught you right, okay?

It was your side ig account, you only posted edits and artsy stuff. Never your face. Never anything personal, apart from your nickname.

You always commented on spotspidey’s pictures because they were awesome and his captions were always the best, so one day you sent him a message on the dm and it all started.

Nowadays talking to him every day was so part of your routine that when it didn’t happen you felt like an important piece of your day was missing.

You went through your day like a breeze after the encounter with Flash, most of the classes were easy, the homework that sucked.

You were walking out of the door after the long school day, you spotted Peter talking to Ned. As soon as you saw him, he saw you too. He jogged to catch up with you and smiled brightly when he reached you.

“So, I heard you defended my honor today?”

“You honor? Didn’t know you had that, Parker.” You teased him.

“I’m glad you’re still you.” He chuckled.

“He deserves that. Someone had to do something.”

“I’m buzzing that “something” to you means kneeing a guy on the balls and not like report his harassment to the school administration.”

“Oh, please,” You rolled your eyes. “They’d never do anything about it anyway.”

“So now you’re the friendly neighborhood bully avenger?” He was trying not to laugh at his own lame joke, oh god this boy was ridiculously cute.

“I like to think of myself as the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger, please.”

Peter snorted and you let out a low chuckle, damn Parker.

“Spider-man has tough competition now,” He commented. You were walking together to the subway station. How the tables had turned.

You saw MJ passing by and raising an eyebrow with her lips pursed so as not to laugh, you sent her a glare that wasn’t convincing at all.

“He better watch out,” You said flipping your hair off your shoulder.

You two giggled and bumped shoulders. You were trying to hide a smile.

“Thank you,” Peter turned his head to look at you.

“Anytime,” You smiled at him.

“Good thing I can count on you to save me.”

“I wouldn't go that far, but I know a friend who knows a friend that can keep an eye on you, you princess in distress.”

Peter chuckled again, shaking his head as if he found the idea quite ridiculous.

“Yeah, I guess I won’t need that,” He ended up saying.

“Why do I feel I’m not getting the joke?”

“Because maybe you’re not,” Peter shrugged. You elbowed him.

“Hey,” You protested.

You ended up going home together and somehow you were now sharing your earphones with Peter as you jammed to Paramore. People who didn’t like Paramore couldn’t be trusted.

You arrived at home and as you slumped into the couch you shoot a message to spotspidey.

yourighandle: do u like Paramore

spotspidey: duh?!?!

yourighandle: good

yourighandle: our friendship was on the line dude

spotspidey: pfff as if my music taste wasn’t on point

yourighandle: tell me more about it

spotspidey: wow it’s like you’re asking me to strip

spotspidey: strip my soul right on this chat

You snorted out loud. Oh god, he was aDORKable. And by even thinking about this you were also in the dork section right beside him.

You sighed. What wouldn’t you give to know who he was so you could hang out. What if you had already seen him on the street or talked to him, or you two went to midtown. What if you two had classes together or went to the same Starbucks all the time?

The day went by just fine, it was starting to get dark out and you were hungry. Your parents were still at work, something had come up and you were going to get take out from the restaurant two blocks away.

You got your food and you felt weird. You snapped a pic for spotspidey and he replayed the story.

spotspidey: thanks for reminding me how hungry I am

yourighandle: anytime ;)

You started walking home from the restaurant and as you passed through an alley someone grabbed you and put a hand on your mouth.

You tried to scream and kick the guy but he was stronger than you. Maybe thirty seconds passed and suddenly Spider-man was in front of you.

“You should really let her go.” He said, his voice weirdly pissed off.

The guy was stunned and dropped his hands quickly. Spider-man put his hands on your shoulders and down your arms.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” You mumbled, eyes wide still in shock.

The guy started to run away but Spider-man shot a web at him and glued him to the wall.

You were trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself down. It was a fucking big scare and you just wanted to cry. You felt arms around you and stopped breathing for a second. Spider-man was hugging you.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” He whispered to you, holding you close.

“Okay, thank you.” You said shakily.

“Let’s get you home, shall we?” Spider-man said and you just nodded. He wrapped his arm around your waist and suddenly you were in the air, swinging with him.

“I live like a block away,” You said breathlessly.

“Cool, which house?”

“The brownstone apartment building, right there” You pointed at your home.

He took you to the top of the building and let you down.

“Are you really okay?” He sounded concerned.

“Yeah, nothing really bad happened,” You shrugged trying to convince yourself too. “Thank you,” You smiled shyly at him.

“Anytime,” He rubbed the back of his neck. You bit your lip thinking if you should do what you were about to do. You guessed there wasn’t a better time than now.

“Uh, it’s gonna sound really weird considering you basically just saved my life but like I have a friend who is a great fan of yours and like maybe, uh, could you take a pic with me?” You were blushing and speaking really fast. Spider-man chuckled and looked down.

“Of course, c’ mon.” He reached for you and pulled you close.

You got your phone out and snapped a couple of pictures, one you were smiling and the other you were pulling a silly face and Spider-man had a peace sign behind your head. You giggled while putting your phone back inside the pocket of your pants.

“Thank you again, he’ll be thrilled and also thank you for, you know, saving me.”

“Nah, it’s just my job.”

“The friendly neighborhood Spider-man,” You joked.

“I mean, yeah,” He sounded a bit embarrassed.

“Cool, I’m called the unfriendly neighborhood bully avenger.”

Spider-man let a laugh out like it was punched out of him.

“Cool, I mean, if I ever have a bully problem I know who to bring them to.”

“Count on me, Spidey,” You make finger guns and winks at him.

You both giggle and you point at the door. “I better get going, you know, I bet you still have people to save and stuff.”

“I guess my shift is over,” He shrugged.

“Even superheroes have to rest I guess.”

“And do homework,” Spidey said, looking startled right after like he said something wrong.

“Homework is the worst! So, good luck with that.”

You waved goodbye and headed to the door, having your back to the hero.

“Good night, Spidey. And thank you again,” You turned one last time, he was still watching you leave. He nodded his head and waved a little. You grinned at him and wondered how that was your life.

You got home and plated the food. Your heart was still beating fast, you tried to make sense of what happened tonight, shuddering when you thought about what could have happened. Thank God Spider-man showed up. You took a deep breath.

yourighandle: I guess I did your job tonight

spotspidey: how so ma’am?

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: holy shit

spotspidey: that’s your face

spotspidey: by Spider-man’s face

yourighandle: we’re bros

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: I have no words rn

spotspidey: you’re distracting me with your cute face I’m trying to do homework

yourighandle: your face is cute

yourighandle: oh wait I guess that’s not an insult

yourighandle: you're distracting yourself

yourighandle: get down to business

spotspidey: to defeat the Huns?

yourighandle: really?

yourighandle: you gonna hit me w Disney songs and expect me not to distract you?

yourighandle sent a video reply.

Now that spotspidey had seen your face you didn’t have much to hide. Even if he didn’t feel comfortable showing you himself, it was nice to have this new layer to your relationship.

You sent him a video blasting ‘make a man out of you’ and couldn’t care less.

spotspidey: this video will be forever kept in my heart

yourighandle: I am all in your heart already silly

spotspidey: like a murmur?

yourighandle: like a heart attack

spotspidey: that’s mean

yourighandle sent a photo reply.

spotspidey: you’re killing me

yourighandle: maybe that’s the goal

yourighandle: you’ll never know my true plan

spotspidey: I guess I’ll have to call a guy

yourighandle: hope it’s not my bud spidey, he’ll fight for my honor

spotspidey: I’m not questioning that at all

yourighandle: lol go do your homework loser

spotspidey: responsible loser at least

yourighandle: true that

You laid on your bed that night thinking about the three boys you talked to today. Peter was funny and dorky, much nicer than you’d ever expect. Spider-man was caring and so nice, too. And spotspidey was awesome, funny, a complete nerd but in the best way possible. You sighed, what a weird day.

The next day at school was ordinary, for the most part at least. Peter waved at you and smiled brightly, MJ elbowed you because of that and you were sure you’d never hear the end of it.

“Guess you talked to your boyfriend irl.”

“I can’t believe you just said ‘irl’, you’re a basic girl now, MJ.”

She gasped pretending to be offended, at least you hoped she was pretending. She had a too good poker face.

“You get the basic white boyfriend and I am the basic girl?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You pouted, your voice way too close to a whine for your liking.

MJ snorted and gave you a pointed look, one you definitely decided to ignore. You headed to class and it was just as boring as usual until AP biology. It was one of the classes you shared with Peter.

The teacher assigned a project to be done in pairs and chose said pairs. You were developing a project with Peter Parker.

“Hey, partner,” Peter said with a smile on his face, way too coy to fit him.

“Hey, pal.”

“So, project…” He touched the back of his head.

“My house or yours?” You tilted your head to the side.

“Uh,” He seemed to think. “Let’s go to mine.”

“Okay,” You smiled up at him. “Meet me at my locker?”

“Sure thing,” Peter was at the door to leave for his next class. “See you later alligator.”

You laughed, “See you, loser.”

“Hey, not nice.”

“Never claimed I was,” You shrugged, the smile still on your face, it was getting harder and harder to be serious whenever the boy was around.

Peter shook his head and chuckled looking down, when he looked up at you with a bright smile on his face and eyes sparkling you sucked in a breath and bit your lip, forgetting how to breathe for a second.

He left and you finished packing your bag, also leaving for your next class. At least you shared it with MJ.

It was not good that you had this class with MJ, she was teasing mercilessly about Peter and spotspidey.

“God, your ig boyfriend is being cheated on.” MJ had a frown on her face. “I never thought you’d do that, totally surprised and disappointed.”

“What are you even talking about?” You chuckled.

“You and Peter making heart eyes at each other and you misleading your internet boyfriend, duh.”

“Uh, no to both of these statements,” You tilted your head.

MJ chuckled and revolved her focus to the assignment the teacher had asked. Or so you thought. She lifted her notebook and there was a drawing of you and Peter with your chins leaning on your hands and big silly hearts over your eyes.

You laughed and pushed MJ’s shoulders, “C’mon, MJ, lay off, let me live.”

“I appreciate how you didn’t deny anything.”

“I’m not leading Spotspidey on,” You frowned. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

MJ nodded but pointed at the drawing one more time.

“And about Peter, I’m not even gonna dignify you with an answer.” MJ hummed and smirked, you kept looking at each other until both of you cracked and started laughing out loud, the teacher shushing you and giving you a stern look.

“Sorry,” You said and went back to your assignment.

The class was over and with that, you headed back to your locker to leave. Peter was already waiting for you leaning on the lockers by yours. Damn, he was cute. Who were you trying to kid?

He silently waited for you to get your things ready, looking down at his phone at one point and typing fast.

“Let’s go?”

“Sure,” He pocketed his phone and started walking by your side.

“How do you feel about a sub at Delmar’s?” Peter said looking at you.

“Fine by me.”

They headed to the snack bar and got two sandwiches to go, going to Peter’s right after.

“How do you want to do this?” You asked as soon as you stepped foot on his house. Peter blushed, the tips of his ears getting red as well as his cheeks.

You chuckled. “Get your head out of the gutter, Parker.”

“Easier said than done,” He mumbled. You didn’t think you were supposed to have heard that.

You followed him to his room and sat on the bed, opening your backpack and taking the Biology book and your notebook out.

You started well, Peter doing some research on his laptop as you took some notes and included some things from the book, eating the sandwich between one information and the other. Peter started writing the essay with the information you were giving out, it was easy to work with him, he was crazy smart.

Your mind started wandering as you looked at his room. You hadn’t paid much attention when you first got in.

“Oh my god,” You gasped.

“What is it?” Peter sounded concerned, he was frowning.

“You have the millennium falcon lego set IN A BOX?” You were disappointed with him, seriously. “How dare you, Parker?!”

“Uh, sorry?”

“You should be! Let’s build it!”

You got up from the bed and touched his arm, sliding your hand until you reached his hand and pulled him up.

“But the project…” Peter tried to argue.

“Please,” You stretched the word and pouted. “I promise we’ll finish it later.”

That’s how you ended up spending three hours to build half the ship. You couldn’t remember when you had more fun, ‘God, I’m such a nerd.’ You thought to yourself as you laughed at one of Peter’s science puns.

You retrieved your phone to snap a pic to send to Spotspidey on ig, then took a picture with your thumbs up and Peter looking down in the background.

You sent it to him with a smiley face emoji and smiled to yourself before looking up and seeing Peter looking so cute you might cry.

He was holding the BB8 toy with a bright smile on his lips. “This is the cutest thing I have ever seen,” He said.

“Me too,” You must have had a look on your face that gave you away because you had Peter blushing softly.

“Now I have to take a picture of this moment,” You held your phone up and Peter put the little BB8 near his face and smiled big enough for his eyes to get tiny. Your heart warmed up with that picture and you promised yourself you would cherish it forever.

“This is the best picture I’ve ever seen,” You announce before chuckling softly.

You posted it on your story and not 5 minutes had passed before you received a message from Ned.

(yourighandle): leedstheway: the BETRAYAL this has

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m disowning Peter

(yourighandle): leedstheway: I’m calling the police on this crime

“I think Ned is upset,” You turned your phone to Peter for him to see the messages.

Peter laughed, “Excuse me,” He took the phone from your hands and took a picture of himself pouting.

You may or may not have melted right there. Maybe MJ has been right with all her annoying crush thing.

Thankfully you had Instagram save all your pictures, so you had Peter’s pout on your gallery. Small miracles and all that.

You two perked up when you heard the front down open and close.

“My aunt’s home.”

“Cool.”

You two continued building the ship until there was a knock on the door.

“Hey!” May said with a smile on her face.

“Hello,” You smiled back at her.

“I’m May, Peter’s aunt,” She waved.

“Oh, I’m (y/n), nice to meet you, May,” You waved back. “We’re working on a biology project.”

“I see…” May raised an eyebrow and you and Peter had the decency to blush. “Okay, kids, I’m ordering Chinese for dinner.”

“Maybe I should go,” You started getting up, your cheeks still red.

“Don’t be silly, have dinner with us.”

You looked at Peter not knowing what to do. “Stay,” He said. You nodded and sat back.

“I don’t think we’re finishing it today.” You pouted.

“Maybe you can come over tomorrow?” Peter touched the back of the neck, looking embarrassed.

“I’d love to,” You smiled shyly. You heard May calling you so you put the unfinished ship to the side. “We should also finish our essay?”

“Of course,” Peter has that sly smile on his face, “I still have to beat you for valedictorian.”

“Only in your dreams, Parker.”

You kept lightly pushing each other before you started laughing. May was looking at you with a knowing smile on her face, turning around when you both looked at her. You would figure it out yourselves.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence, making small comments about the food and how hungry they were.

“I’ll take you home, (Y/N).”

“I’ll be okay!” You brushed it off. “I live like five blocks away.”

“I insist,” Peter pressed.

“No, really, I’ll be just fine! I promise I’ll call you when I arrive home.”

Peter seemed neither confident nor happy about it, the look on his face making it clear, but he let you do as you wished anyway.

You were about one block away when Spider-man landed on your side. You jumped a foot away, startled.

“Waking by yourself at this time, miss?”

“You’re my mom now, Mr. Spider-man?”

“Nah, just your hero.”

“Good, will you take me home?” What? You wanted to swing through the air in Spider-man’s arms! Who could judge you for this selfish wish? Spider-man could, but he didn’t. He actually chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist and shot his web. You went flying through the air securely in Spider-man’s arms.

You two landed softly on the top of your building.

“All safe and sound, princess?”

“If you ever call me princess again I’m going to knee you in the balls.”

“You really have something for kneeing men in the balls,” He said, voice playful.

“It’s what they deserve,” You pause frowning. “How’d you know that?”

“haha, interesting question but now I gotta go, you know, save people and stuff.” And as sudden as he appeared he left. You frowned but got in your building, going down the stairs to your floor.

You called Peter to tell him you’re home safe and sound.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Uh, hey.”

“I’m home, just so you know.”

“Oh, okay, glad you’re safe,” He giggled nervously.

“uh, okay? See you tomorrow.”

“See you, good night.”

“Night,” You said before hanging up.

He was so odd, so not himself on the phone that it was weird. You check your ig for Spotspidey and he had just answered.

spotspidey: haha good fun u had today

yourighandle: yeah it was awesome

yourighandle: the millennium falcon is almost done!!!!

spotspidey: cool

You frowned, why was spotspidey so weird now? Why was everybody acting odd? Maybe it was just you.

The next day wasn’t much different. Peter was clearly ignoring you, on lunch break, you walked to him and he turned red and mumbled he had already finished the essay and Ned wanted to finish building the millennium falcon with him, dismissing you greatly.

You had no reaction but to nod stunned. You couldn’t believe Peter was treating you this way. He had never treated you like this, not even when you were low key enemies.

“Okay,” You whispered before walking away, feeling so utterly disappointed you didn’t really know how to act.

You tried to reach out to Spotspidey, to have some comfort but was left on read. Your eyes started filling up with water and you tried to take a shaky breath and stop yourself crying in the middle of the hall.

MJ saw you and came running. You let her wrap her arms around you and then you couldn’t stop yourself. You cried quietly in her arms. She must have pulled you to the side because now you were by the wall.

You looked up, bottom lip wobbling, “Try taking deep breaths, will you?” Her voice was soft and she ran a hand through your hair.

You did as she instructed and started to calm down.

“What happened?”

“Peter is acting really weird and my ig friend isn’t talking to me either and everything was just fine yesterday but now it’s all crumbling down.”

You felt tears threaten to come back, your voice sounding strangled. You didn’t know why it was affecting you so badly.

“What if it’s something I did? It’s my fault, I fuck everything up.”

“No,” MJ said sternly. “You don’t get to talk about my best friend like that.”

“MJ,” You whispered. “Thank you.”

“Boys are dumb, (Y/N),” She hugged you. “Don’t let them make you think less of yourself.”

She let you go and grabbed your hand. “Now let’s wash this face and get our shit together.”

You chuckled softly and followed her. She was the best best friend you could have ever asked for.

After washing your face and breathing deeply you headed to the rest of the classes for the day and wished for them to go quickly. You couldn’t wait to go home.

When you were leaving you bumped into someone, you looked up to apologize and it was Peter. You shot him a hurt look and mumble an apology, not giving him time to reply and left with your head down.

You decided you would try again with Spotspidey, maybe he was just busy.

yourighandle: hey dude (seen)

You waited for hours deliberately trying not to check your phone. You did all your school work, procrastinated a bit, made dinner with your mom, watched a couple episodes of queer eye to pretend you were crying because of that and not because your online best friend was ignoring you.

He was ignoring you. You were sure of that after the second day he refused to answer your messages. You could see him typing but soon he would delete it and not send anything.

The message you were so anxiously waiting came after the fourth day trying to reach out to him.

spotspidey: leave me alone.

It hurt, but it hurt so much more than you ever thought it would. The thought that he could have been just playing with you, that he had been collecting info, or that it meant nothing to him made it sting.

You were waiting for the pictures of you being silly pop out throughout the school, or on the internet. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. You were waiting for a sign that it all meant something other than you being so easily discarded that it wasn’t even worth a second thought.

All these days when things had been weird you had seen Spider-man. He was always somewhere near you when you went out. As if he was watching over you exclusively. It made you angry.

You saw a red suit pick out of an alley near your house.

“Leave me ALONE,” You said loudly. “Stop doing this weird stalking thing, dude.”

Spider-man got out of the alley with his head down.

“Sorry,” He mumbled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why?” You laughed bitterly. “I’m just some lame girl you saved once, nothing more, nothing special about me.”

“Don’t- don’t say that, please.”

“It’s true,” You said with finality to your tone. “Now, if you could please stop doing what you’re doing-“

“Why?”

“Because- because seeing you reminds me of people I’d better forget.”

“Oh,” He said softly.

“I’m sorry I’m being ungrateful right now but- but- oh my god,” Your voice broke and you started to cry (fricking cry!) in the middle of the street. “I gotta go.”

You all but ran the rest of the way to your house, feeling embarrassed and just sad.

You put on your earphones, laying on your bed and just as you were about to put some music on you saw a notification that made your breath catch on your throat.

(yourighandle): spotspidey sent a video.

You sucked in a breath and clicked on the ig icon, went to your messages and clicked on his icon. You wanted to delay this as much as you possibly could.

Spider-man appeared on your phone screen and you sat up immediately.

“I know I fucked up, but this-“ He paused to take his mask off. You gasp out loud as you saw Peter Parker’s face, eyes bloodshot as if he had been crying, hair a mess and looking so soft you just wanted to hold him in your arms.

“This is why I disappeared. You knew me three different ways and I thought-“ The vídeo ended. There was another one.

“I thought you’d be disappointed to know they were me. Penis Parker, the loser.” Peter sounded defeated and as if he would start crying any minute. The video was over and you had a hand over your mouth, too shocked to do anything else.

There was another video and a message.

spotspidey: this is me, I know it’s not what you expected.

spotspidey: or wanted anyway

“So like if you could keep this a secret,” Peter had his hand in the back of his head. “I’m sorry, (y/n).”

Your heart was beating so hard it seemed like it was going to pop out of your chest. Your finger moved on its own accord and suddenly you were calling Peter.

“Hel-“ You didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“You’d never disappoint me, Peter Parker.”

You heard him sigh. “You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled.

“Peter, listen to me now. You are the smartest guy I’ve ever met, you’re a great friend, you are so sweet and kind to everyone you meet, you are an amazing person and you don’t get to talk about my best friend like that. You’re funny and yes, Parker, you’re a nerd! But in the best way possible.”

You were a little out of breath because you were speaking fast in case Peter decided to hang up.

“You are everything, Peter.” You finished your little speech.

“I-“ He chuckled sounding self-conscious. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come over so we can hug it out.”

“Okay.”

You waited for less than five minutes and Spidey was knocking on your window. You opened it and he slipped inside the room.

“Hey,” You watched as he took his mask off.

“It’s really you,” you were still impressed and a bit astonished by it all.

“Yeah,” Peter smiled sadly.

You walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. He melted into it, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close. Your bodies molded into each other, you fit like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece. You breathed him in and he did the same.

You had your eyes closed and was just enjoying being that close to him. Peter, spotspidey, Spider-man. They were all the same.

You pulled away, hands resting on Peter’s shoulders.

“It might mess everything up,” you said before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. It was just a press of lips at first but then your lips started moving against his and it changed everything.

You ran your fingers through his hair and he pulled you impossibly closer by the waist, fingers slipping under your shirt to touch your bare hips. You split in order to take a breath.

“So…” Peter said.

“That’s that,” both of you chuckled feeling a little embarrassed.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah?” You asked with red cheeks and a small smile on your face.

“Yeah, I’d like you to do that again.”

“Many times?” You pushed him a little.

“All the time from now on,” He was still holding you and smiling.

“I could get on board with that.”

“We still need to talk, I kept things from you.”

“Aw please, later? We can talk about all the feelings later,” You leaned on his chest, he chuckled hugging you tight.

“What do you suggest we do now, then?”

“Nap, cuddle, make out. In that order, please.”

“Maybe I should change,” He suggested. He was probably right, it would be weird if your parent caught you snuggling someone dressed as Spider-man.

“I’m gonna grab some sweatpants for you and me.”

You rummaged through your closet and you two quickly changed, turning your back to the other to give them a sense of privacy. Maybe it would have been easier to go to the bathroom but it would take longer and you wanted to cuddle that boy to death right away.

You settled on the bed and Peter spooned you. “I don’t know why I have to be the little spoon,” you complained. “You deserve to be held and cared for too.”

It was much easier to say these things when you weren’t facing him, so you just told him everything that was on your mind.

“We can switch later, grumpy.”

“Hey!” You protested with no heat.

You enjoyed being held and could feel his breath on the back of your neck, it calmed and settled you.

“I forgive you,” you whispered suddenly. “If that’s what you need to hear. You were always forgiven, Pete.”

Your voice was getting slower and deeper was sleep took over you.

“Thanks,” was the last thing you heard him say before falling asleep in Peter Parker’s arms.

[beihonglin]

anyway i met bei honglin and he’s an actual angel and we don’t deserve him: a recap

also this is more than 5k words so like ! prepare yourselves!

fhdjjd okay so in april honglin’s hyh brought up his birthday party in his gc and I was like :——) that’s when spring sem ends I could actually make it

 fast forward through a lot of encouraging by summer miss @91percentchaoze​ (sobs I rly owe summer my life) and a lot of anxiety about flights and a lot of other stresses in between

and June 2nd I’m in shanghai with mirthe miss @honglinsmacaroni​ and meggi and summer ie three of the cutest people in the world!!!

when we get to banana there were already other fans there waiting at the event space and the hyh was giving out seat numbers and stuff

so meggi was 10, summer was 11, mirthe was 14 and I was 15

and we started giving out the slogans and stuff we printed until the staff chased us out so they could set up

and so we were chilling first in Starbucks w the other fans fhdjjfjf they’re rly so cute I was finally able to put faces to weibo handles & they finally realised they were talking to someone who’s actually shit at speaking Chinese lmao

then when it got to 2 o’clock we moved outside near the entrance of the event space (since the event space was supposed to be open to us at 2)

but they got the time wrong and we ended up only being able to go in at nearly 3

which isn’t important anyway bc !!! we saw tangram walking in !!!

okay so we saw this white blob coming out from the main banana building and walking towards one of the side buildings and we were like

whomst

and it wAS JINGZUO JSDKAHFKJDH

and summer or mirthe waved at him and he was like bitch wtf and squinted

like ??? who the heckity is waving at me but then eventually he connected the dots and was like o yah fans so he waved back fhdchdkhcjdjf

and he just walked on what a king ??????

summer was right I was surprisingly more chill than I thought I would be fhdjfjfjjf I thought I would cry but I didn’t

so we waited around a bit longer, got suntans and sunburns and slightly dehydrated

and then honglin walks out

my god y’all he’s a whole goddamn angel he’s not real I’m telling you he’s unreal

I KNOW I said the last time that yanjun is rly unphotogenic and all the photos don’t do him justice but leT ME TELL YOU

THE ENTIRE BANANA FAMILY IS LIKE THIS THEYRE UNREAL

THEYRE ALL BANANA PEELS IN HUMAN SUITS THEIR VISUALS ARE ??? NOT HUMAN

but yah at first I was like o he’s gonna go through the back exit to the event space he’s not gonna come this way

AND THEN HE CAME THIS WAY

fhdjfjfj i didn’t take a video but if I did u would probs hear me go “o shit he’s coming” fhdjfjfj

and mirthe was like I’M GONNA TELL HIM UR WEIBO HANDLE I’M GONNA TELL HIM YOU’RE ASTROFIREWORKS and I was like NO so then we had a little back and forth for a while tHAT HONGLIN SAW FBDJHFJF

I don’t rmb a lot of it bc I was mainly in shock that he was in front of me so I was mostly like :——) heckie!

but he went through the front entrance and the moment he made it inside I lost my shit fbdjfjjff

mirthe sent a picture of me just kneeling at the entrance contemplating my entire life to the group chat fhdjfhdj apparently I said that I wanted to go home fhdjfjfjjf

and then zhixie and jingzuo came out soBS

ZHIXIE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IRL U DONT UNDERSTAND HIS CHEEKBONES ARE INSANE

also he had black hair again and the cuTEST HAT ON and we promptly lost our shit

Jingzuo,,,,, in a plain white shirt and blue jeans and converse,,,, someone PLEASE stop him

but they went in and we cried

and waited outside bc ruotian and chaoze still hadn’t gone in but then someone came to tell us chaoze was off filming for his show so he wasn’t coming & somehow ruotian had alr made it into the building without us noticing so eventually we all went in

and the chairs were so comfortable o my god they swivelled and they were like super squishy I love chairs

and then the best two hours of my tgm stan life started :—(

my god the moment honglin stepped on stage my entire heart melted he rly looked so good sobs

you’re completely right I’m dedicating an entire portion to his visuals

his eyes :—-( are so sparkly my god

and when he smiles his eyesmile???? he gets those rly deep wrinkles around his eyes and they’re actually beautiful????? ;;;;

he Radiates joy like i know i say this so often but their debut song??? radiant??? written For him,,,

also when he smiles it’s so warm like you find yourself smiling along bc he rly and genuinely means it and is happy and your heart just warms up bc he’s happy and i just

man i l*ve him

okay so the first segment zhixie was like “what do y’all love about beibei”

and everyone was yelling different things like “he’s so handsome” and “so talented” and “his vocals” and someone also yelled “he can eat a lot” and zhixie was like ??? bro whAt

also someone said “he spoils his fans a lot” and my god y’all it’s so so true but more in that at the very end of this recap

I couldn’t even say anything rip bc my entire brain was set in English and I was like ???? my god i wrote an entire post about the reasons I l*ve him but my mind is blankity blank

but then he was like well beibei’s great at pick up lines

so he did pick up lines based on scenarios zhixie gave fhdjfjfand most of them were old tsk

but he made up this rly cute one that went like 看花开不如看着你发呆 ‘people like looking at flowers bloom, but i’d rather look at you daydreaming’ and i UWUED SO HARD

and I didn’t realise this until meggi pointed it out after but when they put the scenarios on screen, they used a gender neutral “TA” instead of the gendered 她/�� ;;;;;

then they did this segment where honglin was supposed to go against three fans and do a tongue twister in the shortest time and in order of time they got to choose foods under cloches

honglin did so badly fhdjfjfj he got last place but idk if he did it on purpose so his fans could win

one fan got wasabi disguised as ice cream and zhixie was like EAT IT and honglin was like DONT

and he offered to eat the wasabi for her I’m sobbing he rly is so sweet

but zhixie was like NO SHE HAS TO EAT IT and everyone laughed bc he was so adamant fhdjfjfj i love zhixie with my entire soul

and thEN honglin goes okay y’all know how I posted that picture last night

(this picture)

my god I died when he posted it bc

1) I love that shirt what an expensive look

2) he was baking ;A;

and he made a half-baked cheesecake s o b s

he was like: “since i’m always posting vlogs and y’all always watch me eat I thought I’d make food for y’all this time” and I WEPT

and he was like oh give me a theme and i’ll decorate the cake around that theme

so they pulled out the box again and he picked random numbers

and they called out 4 and 15 and 27 to go on stage and I was like

wow I wonder who they are omg

and suddenly summer’s in my ear going MY GOD 15 IT’S YOU

me:

me: what

zhixie: STOP DREAMING IT’S YOU

me: WHAT

hdsflgkjhdfkhgjdsfgkhksfgkdjhdfgkjhsdgjh

and the entire time i was mouthing to mirf and meggi like I CAN’T SPEAK CHINESE I’M GOING TO GO UP AND FORGET THAT I’M BILINGUAL I’M GOING TO BE BYELINGUAL I’M

and they were mouthing back sPEAK ENGLISH and i was like oK

and then it was my turn and i was shaking so so so hard ????

like i’m so so so bad in front of crowds i’ve shaken my way through every marketing presentation ever bc i hATE public speaking and now i have to go up in front of two angels?????

mirf and meggi were like THAT’S ASTROFIREWORKS and i didn’t realise until i checked the group chat after that zhixie said yAY KJDHSKSJAHKJA

and summer was like SHE FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK kjdshfkahdgjfhagjd

and zhixie was like wait do u speak chinese

and i blANKED OUT I WAS LIKE YES BUT FAM NO

but he only took the yes and was like ok thaNK GOD I DONT HAVE TO TRANSLATE

inside i was like fAM WHO THE HECKITY DO U THINK TRANSLATES YOUR VIDEOS I CAN DO IT FOR U KASJDHFLSKJDHKH but outside i was just ah yes :—)

and zhixie and honglin said something about english but my mind was blank all i could do was stare at honglin like

y’all

i know i said he was unreal but

up close

he’s literally ??? a whole angel like ????????????? his eyes sparkle so much when he laughs my heart STOPPED

and when they asked me to step closer i was like

actually i can translate for u i’m-

and zhixie was like NO THERE’S NO NEED like akdsfhkjkjdshJKASDHK OK

then honglin asked what theme i wanted and i was likE FAM IDK I’VE BEEN BLANKING THE ENTIRE TIME STARING AT YOU

so i was like okay i know u rly like one piece so something maybe one piece related

and he was like fam that’s difficult sadjkfhalsKJSDHLKJASD

but the moment i opened my mouth

zhixie: ARE YOU SINGAPOREAN OR MALAYSIAN

me: uh i’m singapor-

honglin: uwu i can hear it

me: about to die

zhixie (in english): ur accent !

and god yall my entire heart burst into flames like

i’ve said it before here but i’ve spent quite a bit of time being ashamed of my accent bc when i first got to america nobody could understand my singaporean accent and everyone kept asking me to repeat myself and eventually i was like ok u know what it’s better if i just shut up and not talk

and so the reason why i’m so so so proud of zhangjing (and jj) is bc there finally is ?? some south east asian representation and there are even people complimenting his accent and calling it cute and it ?? finally felt like i shouldn’t be embarrassed about the way i speak??

zhixie: when i heard you i was like eh? it’s almost like i heard you zhangjing

and i

Cried

and then zhixie turned to meggi and mirthe and were like yall come from beijing?

like fam what

and meggi was like no we come from belgium

zhixie: malaysian? you?

about ten people correcting him: belgium

zhixie, again: malaysian?

kajsdhflasjdkhfkj

and then zhixie said some other words but yall i was

just watching honglin

his hands are so so so so beautiful like his fingers are rly nice and

his nose ??? work of art

also his hands looked so soft like :—(

he was just bent over the cake and he :—( rly truly a goddamn angel

summer took photos of me that i’m never releasing ever sakdfhaksjdhfds i look so COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR HIM LIKE

and at one point he started plucking cherries and one stalk fell on the floor and i was like o no so i went forward to pick it up and he

looked up

and said ‘oh it’s okay’ and smiled and

my heart stopped i think i left my soul on stage

O SHIT OKAY AND THEN ZHIXIE WALKED OVER AND WAS LIKE

CAN I ASK WHAT YOU’RE THINKING U LOOK LIKE YOU’RE LOSING UR MIND

AND I WAS LIKE FAM U DONT UNDERSTAND I A M

and i was like ‘idk i’m just ?? very shookt’

and zhixie was like what??? shy????

me: 很惊讶 (very shocked)

zhixie: shy? ? ??

me, thinking: fam this is how i feel when i translate yall captionless vlogs

zhixie (in eng): is this ur first time seeing honglin?

me: my first time seeing you also !!!!!

zhixie, suddenly shy: ah okay thank u

UWU!!!

and then honglin was done and looked up and i might have died inside again

AND HE WALKED OVER AND I WAS LIKE FAM NO DONT IF YOU COME CLOSER I’M LITERALLY GOING TO DI E??????

and he was like ‘oh this is zoro’

the sane part of me: oh wait ur favourite character is zoro???

bc liTERALLY TWO DAYS BEFORE HE POSTED ABOUT SANJI AND SO MY SISTER AND I WERE LIKE OH HE PROBS LIKES SANJI

BUT HE

LIKES ZORO

(my sister, afterwards: wtf i feel lied to)

but he was so heckin close to me like fam my heart

stopped

honglin: i hope u like it uwu

me: heck !

honglin: take one bite!

me: HECKITYHECK

zhixie (in eng): i wanna see ur facial expression

aND THEN THEY WERE BOTH LOOKGIN AT ME LIKE FUCABJS,BCD

FUCINADJCNSAKJDKJ

honglin: is it okay? ;;

me: FUCIJNSKCSADJ YES TAKE MY HEART TAKE MY SOUL

and i finally FINALLY FUNIAJKNSSK FINALLY GOT OFF THE GODDAMN STAGE

zhixie: WHERE’S HER APPLAUSE

anD EITHER RUOTIAN OR JINGZUO UPSTAIRS STARTED CLAPPING AGAINST THEIR MIC LIKE ASDFAHKSDHFAKSJD SHUT UP

 AND I WANTED TO DIE I WALKED ITNO A CARDBOARD CUTOUT RIGHT AFTER BC I WAS SO SHOOK

and honglin was like be careful! there’s a cardboard cutout right there! bc he’s a whoLE ANGEL

but also like GKASCKASHDHFAJDSHLFKJ PLS STOP LOOKIGN AT ME PLEAS E MY HEART IS WEAK I’M

my god

collapsed into summer’s arms right after thank god for summer !!!

okay then the next segment zhixie was like o yall know honglin’s position in the group is main vocal so next he can sing something for yall

honglin: actually i prepared an entire song for yall but music copyright means that i can’t sing it w a backing track

bc if he sings w a copyrighted backing track or if he sings more than half the song the livestream video would have to be taken down or something??

but it didn’t matter bc the moment he opened his mouth my entire heart STOPPED like

if he stabbed me in the stomach it would have hurt less his voice is so so sososos ososososososoosososo beautiful ????

and he sang without a backing track to like ????

i’m telling yall he’s a whole angel like he’s not real

and then honglin was like oh i also prepared another song but bc i now see there are overseas fans here i’m gonna sing an english song

and he sang when i was your man by bruno mars and when he hit the high note i think i ascended into the afterlife

about the 46 minute mark here i RLY AND TRULY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO IT SOBS HE SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT ANGEL HE IS

AND ZHIXIE HARMONISED AT THE BACK LIKE AHHHHH THAT’S MY BABE MAIN VOCAL TAGTEAM RIGHT THERE

and then zhixie asked if there was any other song we wanted and i was immediately like JJ!!

i’ve been ??? pleading for a jj cover forEVER ND HE

FINALLY PULLED THROUGH

honglin: i’m going to do Those Were The Days bc like the song says (那些你很冒险的梦 我陪你去疯 - all those adventurous dreams, i’ll chase them with you), i’ve been chasing my dream and yall have been here with me every step of the way

and i think the moment he said it i DIED like ???? jj is one of my favourite singers and nearly all my faves have covered his songs at least once, astro included???

and everyone who knows me knows i love jj like nini miss @tanqram​ has literally made a tangram singing jj compilation that i watch religiously ??? and this is one of my fave jj songs?????

and the moment he opened his mouth like ???? i KNOW i said that i died the last two times he sang but

firstly he sounds so much like jj?????

and secondly everything was ???? perfect??????

like i judge jj covers hard bc i’ve listened to the originals so many times everything is ingrained and the moment something is off i cringe but

yall

honglin’s perfect honglin is Actually Perfect

ALSO HE SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE JJ LIKE HE RLY WASN’T LYING IN HIS IP INTRODUCTION

and afterwards honglin was like lol jj said before that whenever he sings high notes he starts sweating and immediately jingzuo (???) was like TAKE OFF UR CLOTHES LKAJDHSFKASJDHFK

jingzuo chaotic good!!!

also i didn’t know until afterwards when the fantakens were out but ruotian was eating chicken wings and slurping noodles the whole time upstairs aksjdflhaksdjfhaksj why is didi line chaos

and then zhixie was like yall know what other things beibei is good at?

like fam he’s good at everything we rly can’t

also someone in the back was like he’S GREAT AT DOING THE SPLITS and honglin’S FACE AJSDFHKSJDHF

but it was languages and so zhixie was like we’re gonna make him say i love u in many different languages

and i could FEEL marta miss @honeyforzhixie​ going ????? isn’t that ur thing zhixie jsdgflasjdhf

and so they started discussing languages and zhixie was like o i know u can speak a little japanese bc i know u memorised the entire one piece theme song

and i SCREAMED INSIDE bc we literally juST TALKED ABOUT IT THAT MORNING WHEN WE VIDEO CALLED NINI nkfhakjsdhf we were like uwu we hope he sings a jj song but then we were like o lol what if he ended up singing the one piece theme song instead bc we bet he knew the whoLE THING AND HE DOES KNOW IT AJSDFHLAK

but then zhixie made honglin imitate maotong and say ‘i love u’ the way maotong would and my heart ached a little i miss my baby boy so much ??

but JINGZUO CHAOTIC GOOD JSDHLAKJ ‘could u imitate chaoze too’ jaskdlfhkjd

and so he did a couple different versions like Japanese (he and jingzuo screamed lines from one piece at each other ajdkhflksd) and korean (he took a line out of some korean drama?????)

and someone suggested french (was it mirf?????) and i lAUGHED rip his french vlog sorry honglin i swear i love u !!

and then they were like ok time to play his fan video

okay listen i have to preface this by saying that when i got the brief from the hyh she told me ‘it’s best if we make him cry!’ and i was like ok! sure!

turns out it made ME cry i stressed out over the video for two entire weeks sobs the moment my finals were over i locked myself into nyu’s computer lab until moving out day but still couldn’t finish it so i had to work on it on the plane ride home too sobs my roommate connie miss @ynajun​ saw the worst of it bc every time i came home from the lab i’d stress about it ???

but my god it was worth ??? everything ????

he ?????? cried??????

and like on one hand i’m happy that i managed to fulfil the brief but also i feel bad bc he cried but also mostly i laughed bc he’s such a sweet emotional bub

BUT ALSO BC HE CRIED MEGGI GOT TO OFFER HIM HER TISSUES!!!!!!!!

like we specially bought tissues before we left for banana bc we were like we’re gonna need them bc we’re gonna cry

BUT IT TURNS OUT HONGLIN NEEDED HTEM MORE AJSDKFHLASJDHFKAJ

zhixie: he cries every year during his birthday

zhixie: but also even when it’s not his birthday he cries he cried at my birthday too

and afterwards in chaoze’s birthday post he called honglin a crybaby too UWUWUWUWU

tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat he thanked us again for the video and i Died

okay this next part is purely speculation bc i honestly might just be overinflating myself and he might have done this purely coincidentally but when he thanked us for his video he looked at me and i ?????

when the video was playing nini and marta were yelling in the gc that they knew the video was done by me bc i overuse cc particle world on after effects jasdhlfksjdh but in that moment i briefly entertained the thought that he was familiar enough with my edits to know that the only idiot who keeps using cc particle world was me ??

but also as i said purely speculation and probably coincidence so

anyway you can watch it here 

and then they played the birthday video messages from fans and i think i died from embarrassment let’s Not talk about it

but also i only realised it after they pointed it out in the gc but apparently zhixie and honglin were both singing along to the jj backing track i added to my video ajsdfhlaksjd

my god another tangent but on his birthday when he came into the group chat we were talking about the videos we recorded

and hh (one of honglin’s og fans she’s a whole angel too I love her !!!!) was like my gOD i rly am so unphotogenic (when she filmed her video she put a ‘FAT’ over her face sobs but like mood) and i was like yah same lol i had to record myself like ten times in times square bc i looked so bad in all the takes

and honglin was like HH WHY DID U CENSOR UR FACE UR CLEARLY SO CUTE and we collectively died for her uwu !!!!

then honglin rePLIED ME SAYING ‘OH BUT TIMES SQUARE HAS SUCH A GOOD VIBE’ and i died for the nth time ??? and then he followed up by saying ‘i rly want to go to times square i’ve gone to america a lot of times when i was younger but i’ve only ever been to the west coast’ jksadhlfkjshekj pls come i’ll bring u around east coast best coast

but back to the point he was like ‘i’ve said it before during ip (and he did!!! during the fanfan episode where he was talking to the rubbish bin he rly has said it before!!!!) but i rly try my best to remember every single person’s face and all my fan’s weibo IDs’ and my heART MELTED HE

and then it was his ending ment!!

he said something that rly threw my heart off a cliff he said that he’s so grateful for the hyh and fans for listening to him and donating to charities in his name instead of buying him extravagant gifts bc when he makes it big, if he makes it big, the thing he wants to do the most is to donate to children who come from a less privileged family background bc he knows what it’s like coming from a single parent family and ;n;

then they showed wishes from other idols!!!!!

there was wang ziyi, zhou rui, the twins my ip hEART

LISTEN I ??? when zuo qibo showed up my SWIN HEART EXPLODED I ??? MISS ??? MY SWIN ANGELS ????

AND THEN RUIBIN SHOWED UP IN ALL HIS UNKEMPT AND UNSHAVEN AND RAMBLING GLORY AND MY PRINCERUIBIN HEART WEPT I THINK I HELD SUMMER’S ARM SO HARD SHE GOT BRUISES AJKSDHFKSJD I’M SO SORRY SUMMER I LOVE U

and then cHAOZE APPEARED !!!! and everyone immediately melted he’s the softest leader alive i love my baby!!

and honglin was about to say something but ruOTIAN

ruotian showed up w a cake w sparklers???????? like fam???????

and eventually we had to say goodbye :—(

but honglin was like o i rly and truly thought that there would be lesser people at this birthday than there was last year and my heart ??? broke ????

bc the room they were in last year alr was so small and there were rly little roses but he ??? genuinely thought he had so little fans that he wouldn’t even fill up the room ;;;;;;;; bc there rly are v little active roses both on weibo like there are less than ten of us who actively post in his chaohua and at tgm events like they’re mostly lrt/jjz fans and there’s usually only one rose ;;;;

but listen honglin our entire gc would die for you we will never stop loving u until every last one of us is found dead in a ditch

and then we’ll love u into the next life

also after he said goodbye he was like sike!

he kept singing behind the cardboard cutouts and peeking around them to say hi again

at some point I poked my head over and went PLS COME TO NEW YORK and he said something back that I alas couldn’t hear rip

and then he started singing along to jj again sobs

but eventually at some point they left via the back door and I was like GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR sobs going to the airport for yanjun and wenjun and jeffrey and ziyi and kunkun rly was to prepare me for one thing and one thing only and it was to practise getting good non-shaky fantakens without dying???

jingzuo rly truly looked AMAZING he rly rocks the white tee blue jeans and converse look jingzuo stans stay winning!!!

and honglin ;;;;;;; was holding my banner ;;;;;;;;

and he looked directly into my camera a couple times sobs and he shot hearts too I rly ???? Editing the photos made me cry so many times fbdjhfjf every time I got to those photos I lose my mind

ALSO ONLY AFTER EDITING THE PHOTOS I REALISED RUOTIAN WAS JUDGING ME SO HARD GHDJFJ my eyes were glued to honglin the entire time but looking at the photos again ruotian looked so unamused fhcjfhfbfhbf

speaking of ruotian my gOD editing photos with him in it is a nightmare y’all he’s either blinking or looks like he’s about to sneeze in nearly every picture fhdjfjfj summer and I generally make it a rule not to blur other members’ faces out of our fantakens but ruOTIAN RLY TESTING ME

but we made it to the banana lobby and I didn’t want to follow them and their fansites in so I stopped walking and honglin turned back to wave at me ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; and i think i died again

and so I went back to the event space where summer and mirthe and meggi were waiting and sat down and blanked out sobs

but it diDNT END THERE FHDJFJJF FOR SOME REASON HONGLIN DECIDED TO WALK OUT AGAIN A BIT AFTER

so mirthe and I were like omg gotta blAST so we speedwalked over

and he :—-( saw and shot signs at my camera again fhdjfjfjjf I ???

and then it was Actually Over god I was a shell of a person after that

still am tbh I’m not sure how I survived sorting through our 2000+ fantakens fhdjfjfj

but I’m so spoiled y’all I’m really truly so spoiled by him :—(

like I said earlier he rly spoils his fans so much????

that night he posted on Instagram and immediately summer and meggi and mirthe and I commented and he replied all four of us ;n;

earlier on in spring semester there was a third party event that Tangram was invited to but the organiser was a MESS and tgm wasn’t treated very well??? but honglin was worried that the fans who travelled to the event and didn’t get to see them were upset so he came into the group chat to console them ;;;;;

and I was talking to another fan and she said that even during other events he kept turning around to wave at the fans and acknowledge them and it’s ;;;;;; as someone who has ?? waited in the rain / stood for hours waiting for idols something as simple as a nod or a smile rly warms u up and makes the wind and cold worth it ;;;; and he makes sure to do it all the time ;;;;;;;;;

on his birthday !! his birthday !! when he was in Taiwan and should be resting and enjoying time w his mum and not thinking about us !!!! he still came into the group chat for an hour and talked to us ;;;;;;

and he named all his sort of more well known fans’ IDs, even the ones who weren’t online and sending messages at the time ;;;;; like he rly wasn’t lying when he said he remembers us ;;;;

also fhdjfjfjjf god I’m so spoiled he replied me so many times ?? like there was the times sq thing and the east coast thing ???

and when he said he was training for the next archery competition I was like “o are u shooting recurve or compound this time?” and he was like “o idk if I shot recurve or compound but it’s the one I shot the last time” and I fhdjfjfjfhfb

tangential but 1) my god y’all his form is beautiful my archery heart: exploded

2) his rhotics are so beautiful too my phonology heart: also exploded

also when he was about to leave the gc I was like “huh but u just got here, why are you leaving?” and he sent another voice message “astrofireworks, why are you becoming shameless too, when did I just get here, I’ve clearly been here for a long time already” fhdjfjdjfn fhdjjd

also my GOD He was reading some IDs and summer and lyla were like what about @astrofireworks and I was like fchjfbhjdf y’all it’s ok he’s alr said it in another voice message two months ago in the gc I’m alr so spoiled I ???? rly shouldn’t ask anything else of him or he’s going to hate me

but then he

sent

a whole

nine second message

“hey astrofireworks, I hope one day I can go to New York and maybe... I’ll meet you there, okay?”

and I ??,?? Sobbed

ndjdbfjvcchhxhdhfh

and then Connie went to send him off at the airport in Taiwan the next day and ????? 

I’m not gonna say much because it’s rly conno’s story to tell and I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say outside the gc but he rly spoils his fans so so so so much ????

anyway bei honglin rly and truly is the sweetest boy on earth we rly don’t deserve him ;;;;; this first week of June truly has been the best week of my cpop stan life and i ????? love mister bei honglin with my entire heart and soul ;;;;;;;;;;;;

[shoushatohaisha]

report: haikyuu!! summer week day 5 part 2 (hajimari no kyojin)

(sorry for the delay! i moved home from japan to the states the day after… technically the day of posting the last report so obviously it's been. Busy. last one tho!! ♥)

previously: day 1 (shoen) day 2 (itadaki no keshiki) day 3 (karasuno, fukkatsu!!) day 4 (shousha to haisha) day 5 part 1 (shinka no natsu)

guests: kenta, keita, funaki masahide, yanagihara rin

Hoo Boy this was by the most outright emotional of all the screenings so far. like, shousha to haisha was intense, but the content was intimately familiar by now. the impact of this was fresh -- and we all knew it was the end, you know? the end of our happy little week, obviously, but also the beginning of the end for karasuno. over the week all those showings had built up this tidal wave of Feelings it then unleashed here, aha. so that the cheering was right on the edge of desperate, like there were real results on the line. self extremely included. this was our last chance, in all kinds of ways.

(i, aware that i would be leaving the country in two days, was perhaps a little more desperate! but it sure as hell wasn't just me. cheering along at the top of our lungs to the opening/closing karasuno jog i described here… it was. a lot.)

of course the reaction to certain parts were as you'd expect. there was dead silence for ennoshita's big scene(s). the cheers for his receives were like nothing else. when ennoshita tells yamaguchi "let's fight together" kenta reeled backward like he'd taken a physical hit. (my son, i love you.) and of course kenta and kt were emoting all over the place for that whole storyline – kt was wiping his eyes after daichi had to leave the court, and then they both teared up over "thank you for coming back" and "captain ni tsunagenakya!"

and of course when it came to rin and funaki they had their own moments – rin obviously got misty-eyed when all of wakutani started losing their shit, lol, and funaki surprised me by wiping his eyes after misaki's goodbye to johzenji. (my guess from daisenshuuraku was right, btw, momo was crying irl during that scene. awww.)

OK BUT BACK TO THE BEGINNING sorry.

once again kt was tricked into dashing out before everyone else. XD kt: um this is not how rehearsal went. kenta: what are you talking about? :( funaki: this is just like we practiced. rin: (nods furiously) kenta: isn't it? kt: ………yes. fine.

so they accidentally grabbed the afternoon's MC script, whoops. which i'm sure kenta noticed as soon as he glanced at it, but didn't turn a hair until it was time for their self-introductions. "playing kageyama tobio, i'm kageyama tatsuya—" kt: playing nishinoya yuu i'm fuchino yuuto ^_^ funaki: hahahaha PLAYING KUROO TETSUROU IM KONDOU SHOURI audience: (CHEERS) rin: (squints at script) playing konoha akinori im… (mutters) ….azuma… takumi…? kenta: ….you were IN A PLAY WITH HIM rin: is that wrong kenta: what have you been calling him all this time rin: …………azuma…..kun………. kenta: and what did he say to that rin: …"yes?" funaki: well he does seem like he'd just roll with that kenta: IT'S HIGASHI HIS NAME IS HIGASHI

kenta: i was the MC for the shoen screening, but earlier this week, rather than do it twice himself, ryoutarou turned it over to yamagiwa kaito-kun-- audience: (bursts into giggles) kenta: …yeah so i thought maybe tonight i'd give someone else a cha-- funaki: ME I WANT TO kenta: --ok here you go funaki: wait what kenta: you looked like you really wanted to so funaki: I SUPER DO :D funaki: so uh (flips pages) next uh -- kenta: r u srs

i was SOOO fond of funaki omg what a friendly bro ahhh. so cheery and good-natured. :D (can u tell i like em dumb and smiley, apparently.) whereas rin-kun was… endearingly ditzy. XD (is he an ex-johnny's? he kind of had that air. it was like looking at ueda tatsuya circa 2005. in no small part because of the wakunan towel tucked into his waistband, which draped to the floor.)

funaki: don't forget to call the player's names during the starting order, like "terushima!" or "terushii!" or "yuuji!"

funaki: so next we'll practice cheers! i, the MC – yeah yeah yeah (rapper pose) -- kenta: masakki! kt: masakki! (like. funaki + masahide = masakki? apparently? i was unfamiliar with this nickname.) funaki: ok now yanagihara-kun's gonna lead the cheer practice rin: nice to meet you i'm MC rin ^_^ rin: where were we again? kenta: rin: wait right. this is. a cheer screening. so we want you to cheer! kenta: they know that. rin: kenta: rin: wait ok i remembered!! audience: GANBARE rin: :D;;

it took SEVERAL MORE FALSE STARTS before we actually got to the cheer practice. poor rin-kun. XD but he wasn't like, shy or embarrassed like takumi-kun he just. was kind of a ditz. "NO WAIT :D lemme try again :D wait where are we? :D"

kt: ARE YOU FIRED UP audience: WHOO funaki: ARE YOU READY TO GO audience: WHOOOO kenta: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD audience: tamago kake gohan!!

the screening: abovementioned emotions aside, plenty of dancing and choreo as you would espect, especially from funaki. rin apparently was young terushima in the flashbacks! so he and funaki did all the double terushima scenes together. and rin did all of his white coat dance choreo as well.

during the opening, kenta joined rin so he wouldn’t have to do the wakunan choreo alone. XD and funaki and rin played kiyoko-san and yachi ahahaha. then when hinata and ushiwaka begin to turn on the revolving stage, kenta started scuttling around stage trying to "revolve" himself with limited success.

yamaguchi: (snubs shimada's high five) kenta: don't mind!!

despite kenta's gleeful delight in audience comebacks, there were understandably few of them from either him or us because it was everyone's first time watching the show since daisenshuuraku! the demon elementary school children did get this massive cheer that made kenta almost fall out of his chair laughing. ditto akaashi's "michi wo tsukurimasu no de" – that was one of the most full-throated mass "KYAA"s i've ever heard (again… self… included…) and kenta thought it was HILARIOUS.

i myself was reminded all over again what a great show this was, ugh. blah blah I Love Kawahara Kazuma digression aside, please take it as read, IN ADDITION i know i briefly talked about the, like, emotional sensitivity kouhei brought to playing tanaka but fjkdlajfd the close ups on his face made it so much worse, ffffffff. GOD. dude's emotions were A Lot. just. please. gimme the dvd already.

i was also so caught up in nekoma vs fukurodani the first time i watched that i didn't notice how well kuroo and kenma's final scenes onstage functioned as a goodbye for takato and shouri. when you've been in four consecutive shows, you deserve to go out on a meaningful note. (yes ofc we don't know what the future holds etc etc but.) shouri's delivery of "you're our brain, and our spine, and our heartbeat." fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff murder me.

ahem ok. the aftertalk:

funaki said that he was used to watching videos of himself on stage to review and practice with, but it was the first time watching from a normal spectator's perspective. "oh, THAT'S how that came across." and that the effect made him cry.

rin had a really nice thing to say about how watching really impressed on him how haikyuu stage in particular is a work that is dependent on everyone's contributions combined – i.e. it's not just the lead characters, it's the combined effect of the characters in the spotlight and the characters in the background and the white coat ensemble and the technical staff that make haikyuu stage the unique production it is. (this was hard for rin to express in japanese, tbh, so idk how well i'm getting it across in english but his point was that when he says "it's a show we all create together" he's not referring to ideas or feelings but quite literally saying that everyone's contributions on stage are necessary to make haikyuu stage what it is.)

and kenta talked about how (attending every single screening as he did, lol) it was great preparation for saikyou no team to have had the chance to look back on each different production -- especially to look back on the schools and characters that appeared in just one show and carry their feelings forward to the next play.

…then they discussed how quickly rin's hair had grown back since daisenshuuraku. XD rin: tbh… i was emotionally moved when i first looked in the mirror and saw myself with hair.

then as soon as keita prompted them for backstage stories kenta was like GOKU. DEFINITELY GOKU. apparently at daisenshuuraku he started crying before wakunan even huddled up for their pre-show cheer. "I CAN'T HANDLE IT, IT'S TOO MUCH." kenta: i was watching this like R U KIDDING ME WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED YET rin: ahaha during the show as well, idk if this is good or bad, but he was always crying, like – there's a bit where hanayama calls "takeru!" as he makes a toss rin: and goku was always like "(sobs) TAKERU!!" kenta: ONE TIME HE CRIED SO MUCH HE SHORTED OUT HIS MIC audience: EHHHHH? kenta: how did that many tears even GET there funaki: probably the sweat plus the crying rin: incredible. kenta: that's haikyuu stage. so much sweat and tears we destroy our mics.

rin also told us about the wakunan red bull rule. they did a lot of team practice on their own, and people were chronically "just barely" late – i.e., never more than a few minutes, but it was enough to throw off practice. so they instituted a rule that whoever was "just barely" late had to buy the rest of the team red bulls. to this day, as they're preparing for their august 25 event… whoever's late has to buy everyone else red bulls. rin: we also took a lot of purikura together kenta: yeah they had such a reputation that whenever they were late karasuno would be like YOU WERE TAKING PURIKURA AGAIN WEREN'T YOU

then for johzenji funaki told the story of "The Take Two Incident", in which during johzenji's ad libs he fucked up his lines two shows in a row – and the second time was so bad he thought "what would terushima do???", straight up yelled "TAKE TWO" and started over. after which kenta collared him backstage like "did you seriously fuckin do that???" funaki: i reflected deeply on my actions.

johzenji also had iizaka, who's a pretty reticent and quiet character. but he had to do something on stage when johzenji was… being johzenji. so karasuno came up with a quirk for him: every time johzenji successfully scored or blocked he would pump his fists and happily yell "MAAA." (5 foot nothing suga kenta reenacting this was delightful, fyi.) kenta: he played the nakashima household's father too. nakashima masayoshi. nakashima… MAA… sayoshi…

THEN, UGH, keita talked about how he gave the post-curtain call greeting for maeraku (i.e. the second-to-last show, the one before senshuuraku). and of course in the greeting he talked about leaving and coming back – and as he did, suga kenta appeared on stage behind him with exactly the same staging/lighting/sound that daichi does during the play, and said daichi's line, "tanaka keita, thank you for coming back." at which point (in the greeting) keita broke down in tears. he somehow managed to relate this story to us without more than a suspiciously husky voice, haha.

(PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD INCLUDE THIS ON THE DVD)

final messages:

rin started off by talking about what a warm atmosphere haikyuu stage has – not only is the production itself good, the people involved in the production are good. this is particularly notable because of the number of people involved. productions with this many people are usually difficult in all kinds of ways – and in his opinion this production is as welcoming and smoothly run as it is thanks to suga kenta. rin: i mean, we're the same age, so as a goal -- well he's not my goal but— kenta: excuse u?? rin: WAIT NO kenta: U COMPLIMENTED ME AND THEN rin: no that's not what i meant!! kenta: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME HUH (mock flounces off stage) rin: PLEASE LET ME DO IT ONE MORE TIME

(takeru's line, "mou ikkai yarasete kure yo" XD)

he then nicely cleaned it up into what he meant to say about how much he respects kenta and how grateful he was to be part of haikyuu stage.

funaki: WELP JOHZENJI LOST so. that's. my first and last appearance in haikyuu stage. but. tbh. watching this. i really. want to be in it again. i want. to go back. BUT I CAN'T. but all of us in johzenji will do our best in our different venues so maybe we'll meet again. thanks for loving our play so much.

keita: (deep breath) lone audience member: okaeri <3 keita: tadaima :) keita managed to get through his without tearing up… i think. (i love him!!!!) he talked about how of course during a normal show one gets energized and encouraged by the audience's applause, but the energy from these screenings were different and even more direct. "it was like we were all a team." ;___;

and kenta talked about how enjoyable it was to share the emotions of a match directly with everyone, and that looking back on all the productions so far, he was reminded of all the friends and companions that got them this far, including of course the audience. :)

and that's a wrap for the summer week screenings! as i said before, i'll write up a little report about the haikyuu day event – they did an aftertalk after the livestream ended just for the theater – but it should be relatively short compared to these monsters. thanks for tuning in, everyone! ♥♥♥

[rxd-riot]

SHIPPING INFO     //   answer  the  following  for  your  muse(s)  so  people know  how  shipping  works  on  your  blog.   REPOST.   don’t reblog.

1. WHAT’S  YOUR  OTP  FOR  YOUR  MUSE? : I’m a kiribaku nut job and I kind of think the anime is purposefully driving me deeper and deeper in but I love every second of it

2.   WHAT  ARE  YOU  WILLING  TO  RP  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO  SHIPPING? I can do just about anything really... I kinda have a sweet spot for angst and dark themes sometimes like abuse or just plain smut.  However I only do this if I GET A HAPPY ENDING!  Our characters must end up ALIVE, MOSTLY HEALTHY, AND H A P P I L Y IN LOVE.  

3.   HOW  LARGE  DOES  THE  AGE  GAP  HAVE  TO  BE  TO  MAKE  IT  UNCOMFORTABLE?: Probably around 6-7 years?  Idk, to me age is just a number in fiction so long as both characters are mature enough to handle it... irl though they make me squint but rp is a different animal

4.   ARE  YOU  SELECTIVE  WHEN  SHIPPING? : Just a little bit... I like feeling good synergy between my muse and someone else’s like if we’re doing a ship we can also do hilarious crack or really anything to have a good time

5. HOW  FAR  DO  STEAMY  MOMENTS  HAVE  TO  GO  BEFORE  THEY’RE  CONSIDERED  NSFW?  I’d probably stop it at crotch touching... before then I’ll tag nsfw? if it’s like heavy making out or touching everywhere... like once they’re actually trying to get off, that’s nsfw

6.   WHO  ARE  OTHER  MUSES  YOU  SHIP  YOUR  MUSE  WITH? : MMMMMM all of these are all just hypothetical b/c I haven’t really gotten there with anyone but these are the potential ones: Todoroki and Shinsou (my gf convinced me of these rarepairs) also Izuku, Tetsutetsu, Uraraka, Mina, Sero,Tamaki, THAT’S ALL I CAN THINK OF ATM

7.   DOES  ONE  HAVE  TO  ASK  TO  SHIP  WITH  YOU? : Not really??  I mean, I prefer us just like... slowly pushing our muses together in a thread since I’m kinda garbage OOC, antisocial trash and I hope to see if you’re into it or I am via extra tags to our threads

8.   HOW  OFTEN  DO  YOU  LIKE  TO  SHIP? : Man, I love ships... it really lets you get close and peek into a characters soul.  However I ship whenever I’m fairly sure my partners are comfy with it

9.   ARE  YOU  SHIP  OBSESSED  OR  SHIP  MORE - OR - LESS? : EH PRETTY SHIPPY I AM, but until I know someone I try not to be overbearing, I wanna give them a chance to see if it’d work.  I will admit though I really like getting to see all different ship combos

10.   ARE  YOU  MULTISHIP? : YESYESYES!  I won’t deny that sometimes I like, kinda scream over more ships than others but I really like having the chance to test dynamics

11.   WHAT  IS  ( ARE )  YOUR  FAVORITE  SHIP  (S)  IN  YOUR  CURRENT  FANDOM? : Kiribaku, Bakudeku, MomoJirou, SeroxEverybody b/c he’s beautiful and give him love maybe with Mina idk I SAW SOME ART ONE TIME, also aizawaxmic is cute idk the name for it, give me gay or give me death

12.   FINALLY,  HOW  DOES  ONE  SHIP  WITH  YOU? : You just gimme some sweet sweet development so I can get a feel for how our muses interact... and if you don’t wanna go through the trouble of trying to turn it in a shippy direction, at that point it’d be ok to IM me or something to plot more directly?  That kinda has to happen for a polyship WHICH IS POSSIBLE

Tagged By: @bakvhatsv thank u sunshine ily and your fantastic arts

Tagging: EVERYONE’S MOSTLY DONE THIS ALREADY OR BEEN TAGGED B/C I’M LATE TO THE PARTY *SOBS*

[thethespacecoyote]

Do u know those events in movies (does that actually happen irl idk im not american where adults hide a bunch of eggs in a huge park and kids have to look for them so how about Rhys and Jack go for the same egg at the same time and rhys is like go ahead take it and jack is like ur cute wanna team up and find more together and idk jack's parents call him and before he leaves he gives rhys a kiss on da cheek idk is that too much IDK I JUST THINK KID JACK IS SUPER CUTE ignore this if u dont like it

;-; I’m sorry I’m not very good at writing kid interactions, I usually write kids interacting with the parents so sorry if it’s awkward 

Jack was going to win the annual Easter Egg hunt for sure.

His mom kept telling him that it wasn’t a competition, that it was just about fun, but he wasn’t having any of that. He was going to get the most eggs and beat all the rest of the kids so bad that they might even cry.

Jack definitely felt like he didn’t have much competition as his mother led him over to the group of parents and children gathering near the sidewalk surrounding the little park. Most of the other kids were either younger than him or seemed more interested in picking their noses and trying to take off their shoes than the colorful eggs Jack could already see scattered about the grass and in the bushes. He smirked confidently as he hefted his for-now empty Easter basket up in his hand, knowing there were far more eggs that had actually been hidden.  

They checked in with the event coordinators at a little table, where his mother signed some papers and Jack got to customize his own name-tag with little skulls before slapping it onto his shirt and walking off to join the other kids.

A little yellow ribbon tied between two small trees formed the “starting line” where all the children clustered, ready to make a break for the colorful eggs. Jack wiggled his way into the front, his height and age making it easy to nudge some of the littler kids out of the way, though he made sure not to push or nudge anyone lest his mom decide he was acting too unruly. He didn’t want to be pulled away from his goals when he was already so close.

The lady in charge of the egg hunt quickly made her way to the side of the starting line, her smile as bright as the yellow of her sundress. Jack tensed, hunching into position, ready to sprint as soon as the ribbon dropped and the hunt finally began. He half-listened as she listed the rules, impatient and jittery. Finally, she started the countdown, untying the ribbon on the tree a split second before Jack sprinted off ahead.  

He easily outpaced the other children, scooping up a couple of the eggs plunked obviously on the grass, but they were largely small and—thanks to a quick shake—probably filled with jelly beans. Jack pulled a face, sticking out his tongue even as he dropped them into his basket. He hated jelly beans. The little kids could have these loser eggs. He knew that the bigger ones with the best candy would be most well-hidden.

Jack had found quite a few of the larger prizes before he spotted a huge, sparkling blue egg from a couple feet away, sitting perched on the edge of the adult water fountain. Jack snorted smugly as he bounded over, knowing full well none of the other kids could dream of reaching up there.

But as he stretched out his hand to grab at the egg, another hand knocked into his just as he put his hand on the sparkly shell. He turned angrily, about to yell at the owner of the hand that he’d gotten there first and this egg belonged to him, but he stopped as soon as his eyes fell upon the other boy.

“Oh….sorry….” He retracted his hand against his chest, eyes cast down to his chest in embarrassment. Jack kept his hand on the egg but furrowed his brow at the other boy as he carefully picked it up off of the fountain.

Jack didn’t recognize him from the starting line. He was a little bit taller than Jack was, but looked the same age, if not younger. His hair looked fluffy and slightly messy, like his mom hadn’t bothered to fix his hair aside from a quick combing. On the other hand, his clothes looked fancier than a lot of the other kids, like the stuff Jack’s mom would make him wear when she made him go to his grandmother’s house. The pale blue shirt and dark grey pants were very clean even with the ground covered in grass and mud, like they’d just come from the laundromat. He even wore a fancy little red tie.

Jack glanced down at the egg, watching it glint in the sunlight filtering between the trees. The glitter covering it felt rough against his palm as he rubbed it, a little coming off onto his fingers. He noticed it matched the others boy’s eyes. Jack knew better, knew that eyes didn’t sparkle the way the glittery eggs did, but the thought made his heart thump a little faster.

The other boy faltered awkwardly, looking around and making a move to run away before Jack reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder.

“Hey!” Jack said maybe a little big loudly as he shoved the egg into the other boy’s confused hands. “You can have this one. I have like, a bunch already.” He pointed towards the comparatively larger haul of eggs in his basket. This other kid looked like he only had a couple, but Jack quickly noted they were some of the bigger, better looking ones.

“You know….Royce? Reese?” He squinted at the boy’s name-tag, before he patted his shoulder repeatedly. “I’m the best here at hunting the eggs. You’ll get a lot more if we stick together!”

“I….” Rhys’ eyes widened. “You think so?”

“Yeah! We’ll totally win if we work together. What do you say?” Jack stuck out his hand with a broad smile and grabbed the other boy’s, shaking it like the businessmen on mom’s favorite TV shows did.

“I…um, okay!” Rhys agreed quickly after a moment, his expression brightening from worry to excitement. Jack gleefully clapped his hands before taking off with Rhys now trundling after him, eager to make up for lost ground, though most of the other kids still poked about in the grass, settling for the smaller, easier eggs.

Jack soon found Rhys’ taller height and longer arms especially helpful when they found an egg nestled within the bushes or cradled atop a high fence. Rhys even let him sit on top of his shoulders to grab not one, but two silver eggs that had been placed inside branched fork in one of the park’s many oak trees like they belonged in a bird’s nest.

Jack brimmed with excitement, feeling like a treasure hunter in the jungle as he and Rhys found more and more eggs, their baskets piling higher and higher with goodies. Most of the other little kids had grown bored and trundled back to their mothers and fathers to examine their haul. Jack wasn’t satisfied, however, until he and Rhys had combed the park easily twice over, finding a couple eggs that they’d missed over the first time around. They even found two more eggs, this time molded in shiny golden plastic, atop the playground’s biggest climbing wall.

Finally happy, Jack bounded back to the starting line with Rhys by his side, the both of them laughing and joking happily, excited to crack open their newfound treasures. As they chatted, Jack found he was more excited about seeing Rhys open the eggs than he was about his own haul.

Jack didn’t know why he got butterflies every time he saw his new friend smile, but as they plopped down on the grass and started to go through their hoards of candy and eggs, he wanted little more than to see Rhys happy.