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cryingatwindermerepeaks · 2 months ago

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Little Tori Spring ficlet <3

Tori regresses while Charlie’s friends are over but she needs her brother.

Word count: 3220

🦊🍋🫂

Charlie’s friends sounded like they were having fun downstairs. They always sounded like they were having fun when they were together. Part of Tori wished she had friends like them, though she didn’t think she’d be awfully good at it. The whole laughing around other people thing wasn’t her strong suit. Still, it made her feel awfully lonely up in her room by herself. Tori frowned, curling tightly into herself under her thick duvet. She tried to block the noises out by pulling her blankets over her ears but it just made the voices sound distorted and monstrous. It normally didn’t bother her too much when her brother had his friends over while her parents were away, she didn’t have anyone to bring over anyway. Yet, today the thought of so many people downstairs felt crushing. This was due to the fact that she was feeling little. She couldn’t be sure how old she felt, Charlie was always much better at figuring that out for her. She just knew she didn’t feel very grown up at all. Tori needed her brother but that would require her to go downstairs and be in front of all those people. The thought made her stomach ache painfully. She sucked harshly on her pacifier, attempting to settle her racing thoughts. It was an old thing, her pacifier. She’d never gotten rid of her childhood one. Her parents had tried to wean her off when she was little but Tori had always had weird fixations and emotional connections to certain objects. Until recently, when she’d spoken to Charlie about how she’d been feeling, it had sat untouched in a box under her bed. Now, she kept it hidden in the drawer of her bedside table and used it embarrassingly often. Charlie would remind her it wasn’t embarrassing at all but she couldn’t help but think that way when she was alone. Despite the fact she often felt quite uncomfortable at the thought of her regression when she was big, her pacifier helped her feel small and safe when the whole world seemed to be utterly and completely horrible. Which was, for Tori, quite often. Like now, her stomach was aching and turning in knots. She kept having these awful thoughts about Charlie being sick again and it was scary. So scary. If she could make herself feel a bit smaller, her mind would quieten enough that she could stop feeling sick. The problem was that she was stuck in a weird in between space. Not completely little but she definitely wasn’t big either. The only way she really knew to bridge that gap was to have Charlie comfort her. She really just wanted her brother.

Tori rubbed at her face harshly, sighing and letting her pacifier fall onto the pillow by her head. She thought maybe some lemonade might help settle her stomach, her glass was empty but she could probably get downstairs, grab a drink and come back without really being noticed. It sounded like a pretty simple plan, even if someone did see her they wouldn’t notice anything was off because she’d be really quick.

Tori slipped her bunny slippers on, they were her favorite and always made her feel smaller, safer. She also pulled a grey zip up hoodie on. It was oversized and the cuffs dangled down past her hands, swamped in the clothes she truly did feel like a kid again. For safety measures Tori grabbed her stuffed toy fox. She had soft orange fur and had been a present from Nick when he’d found out Tori didn’t really have any toys for when she was little. They’d named her Alice. Alice the fox. Tori especially liked Alice’s nose because it was hard and smooth so it felt nice to rub her finger over when she was feeling worried. She took Alice by the hand, sleeve draping down over the fox’s arm, and left her room. The voices and the music were louder once she was out of her room. Tori tightened her grip on her empty cup. She kind of wished she didn’t have to use a glass but they didn’t have any plastic cups in the kitchen now they were grown up and her one sippy cup was hidden away in Charlie’s room from the last time she’d been little. Charlie didn’t like it when she went into his room without her and part of her was still a bit scared of being in there alone after everything that had happened, it made her forget that Charlie wasn’t still in the hospital. The group were in the living room which meant that Tori could pretty much avoid them while getting in and out of the kitchen.

Tori placed the cup down carefully on the bench, taking out the normal straw and replacing it with a rubber one which she preferred while little because it was chewable. She got the lemonade from the fridge with one hand so she could keep holding Alice in the other. Which was working ok until she tried to pour it with only her left hand. She lost balance of the jug pretty quickly, sending the cup shattering across the floor as the lemonade splattered across the bench and floor. Tori froze immediately, panicking as she realised what she’d done. There was shattered glass and lemonade everywhere, it was a mess. She knew it would upset Charlie which made it all so much worse.

Tori didn’t want to tell Charlie, she wanted to be grown up and fix it herself but she just couldn’t. It was all so big and she was so small and her slippers were soaking wet and that kind of just made her want to cry. She could be brave, she could go tell Charlie. He wouldn’t even have to clean it up, Nick would be able to help and if Nick and Charlie were there Tori thought she might be brave enough to help clean up too. Tightening her grip on Alice the fox Tori gingerly made her way across the kitchen, avoiding stepping in any glass. Her slippers left a damp trail across the hardwood floor and she held Alice to her chest for comfort, rubbing her finger in circles over the soft cold nose. It wasn’t really helping though. The music was very loud in the living room, no wonder they hadn’t heard the crash of the glass. Tori stood nervously in the doorway, Alice hidden slightly behind the door frame so Charlie’s friends wouldn’t see. She didn’t think her voice was loud enough to get to Charlie from here. He was on the floor next to Nick, back towards the door as the whole group was gathered around the coffee table playing a game of what looked to be either monopoly or cluedo. Tori anxiously fiddled with the string of her hoodie, unsure how to get Charlie’s attention without actually going into the room. Darcy, who was facing in Tori’s direction seemed to notice her and poked their foot into Charlie’s shin, nodding towards Tori who was hovering in the doorway. Tori knew she must’ve looked like she was about to cry because she could feel the tears stinging in her eyes and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get her breathing to slow down. Her shoulders were shaking and she really wished she’d never come down stairs. She’d been so bad. And now all Charlie’s friends would see her being little and they’d think she was awful and it made her want to cry even more. When Charlie turned around Tori was biting on her lip as a last resort to stop the tears from flowing. “Tori,” He frowned with concern. Nick turned around too, both their faces clocking with understanding at the same time.

“A glass broke,” she choked out, trying so hard to sound grown up even though her voice felt far away. They were all looking at her, right through her, like they could see everything that was wrong with her.

“We’ll help you clean up,” Nick offered quickly. He stood up, helping Charlie up too.

Charlie nodded, “we’ll be back in a minute guys,” he promised though Tori didn’t really think they’d be able to clean it up so fast. She felt bad for pulling them away from their friends but she didn’t know what else she could do. Nick placed a firm hand on Tori’s shoulder as he guided her away from the door. Tori let out a shuddering breath as she reached out for Charlie. “Oh Tori…” he sighed, wrapping his arms around his sister’s shaking frame.

“Sorry.” She whimpered, burying her face in Charlie’s sweater. “Don’t look at it,” she croaked out desperately. She glanced up at Nick who’d already poked his head into the kitchen.

“How about you guys head upstairs and I’ll clean this up,” Nick suggested firmly, also understanding the distress the scene in the kitchen might cause Charlie. Charlie nodded in understanding. He gently shifted Tori’s weight away from his body so he could see her face.

“There you are,” he smiled comfortingly as he brushed Tori’s hair out of her face.

“Di’n’t mean it,” she shuddered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I know you didn’t,” Charlie promised as he wiped the tears from Tori’s cheeks. “How about we get you up to bed, hm?” Tori nodded eagerly, she really wanted to be back in the safety of her room. She shuffled uncomfortably, the dampness of her slippers had begun seeping through her socks and the sensation made her skin crawl.

“Wet,” she pouted, wiggling her toes in her slippers.

“That’s alright, we’ll get them washed,” Charlie promised. He held Tori’s hands to help her balance as she kicked off her slippers and socks. “Just leave them there and we’ll figure them out later,” Tori nodded, trusting Charlie to figure things out. He continued to hold her hand as they walked up the stairs which Tori was grateful for because she felt very small.

Once Tori was back in her room all her walls broke down. The panic of the last few minutes caught up to her and tears began pouring down her face. Charlie frowned, guiding Tori to her bed and sitting down next to her. His arms were solid around her, holding her racking shoulders as she shuddered. Charlie never told Tori not to cry, which she appreciated, he always said that crying was good for you. Tori wasn’t sure it really was but it felt nice not to be told off for it. She’d never really been a big crier growing up but nowadays it always felt like there were always tears in her eyes.

“That must’ve been a big shock?” Charlie questioned softly, rubbing gentle circles on her back. Tori sniffled and nodded, flexing her hands in and out of a fist in her lap. Charlie reached back across the bed and grabbed Tori’s pacifier from her pillows. He handed it to her and she quickly snatched it up and popped it in her mouth as if having it out in the open was unsafe. Charlie pursed his lips together sadly, watching his sister curl in on herself around her stuffie.

“Were you trying to get some lemonade?” He asked. Tori nodded, lying down and turning over so her back was to Charlie and her knees were pulled up to her chest. She felt so stupid. If she’d been big she’d have actually thought through what she was doing. “Why don’t I go get your sippy and some lemonade?” Charlie suggested, Tori thought that sounded really nice but her chest clenched at the idea of Charlie seeing all the disturbance to the kitchen.

“Nuh, no see,” she mumbled around her pacifier. The muffled manner it came out in deeply undermined the determination in her voice. Charlie frowned, looking down at his lap. Tori worried that she’d upset him by fussing over him too much like their mum did. She didn’t want Charlie to feel like he couldn’t handle it but also she’d never forgive herself if something she’d done triggered him. “Sorry, ‘arlie,” she apologised, deep frown lines carved by guilt appearing in her face. She rolled over so she was facing Charlie and could bury her face against his legs.

“Oh Tori, you don't have to be sorry.” Charlie smiled sadly. “I just wish you didn’t have to worry about me so much when you’re little. I should be taking care of you.” Tori wrung her hands together anxiously, eyes glued to the wall in front of her. She shrugged.

“Gots to look after eachother.” Charlie’s smile grew into a far more genuine one as he pulled Tori into his arms.

“That’s right, Tor.” Charlie praised. “Now, how about I get your sippy and some lemonade because I know it will make you feel better, and I promise to only go in the kitchen if Nick is there?” That sounded nice. Tori’s stomach wasn’t feeling super achy anymore but lemonade was always good. Charlie helped her under the covers before he left and pressed Alice into her arms. Her face was still crunched up like she’d start crying at any moment. Charlie sighed, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Can I see your pretty smile?” He questioned, tilting his head to the side. Tori scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“Nuh,”

“Not even if I do this?” Charlie reached over and tickled under her arms causing Tori to squirm and hide under the covers. “Uh Oh! Where’s Tori?” he gasped dramatically, grinning when he heard Tori’s muffled giggles from under the sheets. He pulled them down quickly, “Oh there she is!” Charlie exclaimed, placing his hands on both of Tori’s cheeks. “I thought I'd lost you!”

Tori shook her head, “Silly Charlie,” She dismissed, pulling up the sheets to show him where she’d been.

“Oh how very silly of Charlie,”

Tori nodded in agreement, settling back down against her pillows. “I’m gonna go get your sippy now ok, I’ll just be a moment.”

Tori waited patiently for Charlie to return, chewing absentmindedly on Alice’s ear. Instead of her brother, Nick came in holding her purple sippy cup a few minutes later. “Chars just putting your slippers in the wash, he’ll only be a minute,” Nick explained as he handed the sippy to Tori. She hummed in understanding, hurriedly suckling the cool liquid from her cup. It was watered down so not as harsh in her mouth but still distinctively sweet. It didn’t really feel worth all the effort they’d gone through to get it but it was nice nonetheless. “You’re feeling pretty small, huh kiddo?” Nick smiled warmly, brushing Tori’s bangs out of her face. When she was big Nick often questioned if Tori liked him, but when she was little like this she looked at both him and Charlie like they were the most incredible people in the world. It was nice. Tori hummed, burying herself amongst the large number of pillows piled on her bed. “How about some cartoons?” He suggested. Tori hummed again in response. She tended not to speak at all when she was little, and if so only ever to Charlie, the fact that she was communicating in any way was a good sign. Nick grabbed her laptop from her bedside table and sat down next to her on the bed. As Tori opened up the computer Nick pulled the covers up over Tori, making sure her stuffie’s face was still poking out.

Tori chose Scooby-Doo, which Nick knew was a comfort for her while little. He also knew that Tori wasn’t super big on physical contact but he offered his hand to hold as he knew it grounded her. She sniffled a bit as she took his hand, cheeks still flushed from her tears. Nick squeezed her hand firmly and Tori let out a soft breath of all her pent up emotions.

There was a gentle knock on the door before Charlie let himself in. He smiled at the sight of his sister and boyfriend curled up in the bed. “I brought my slippers for you,” Charlie offered, holding up his own ugg boots. Tori glanced up momentarily, nodding before returning to her cartoons. Charlie made his way over and sat on the other side of her, he placed an arm around her shoulder. “Feeling better?” He asked quietly, carding a gentle hand through her hair. Tori nodded, chewing on the straw for her sippy cup.

She looked up at Charlie, a frown growing in her face. “Your friends?” She questioned quietly. Charlie sighed,

“Yeah, they’re downstairs but we’re here with you, that’s what matters.” Tori shook her head firmly.

“Friends,” she whined again. She didn’t want Nick and Charlie to stay up with her because then their friends would get suspicious. Her words felt so far away and she didn’t know how to tell them this. Nick leant over to pause the episode, recognising that Tori had something to say hoping a bit more quiet would help her focus.

“We’re not leaving you, Tori,” Charlie frowned.

“How about we all go down?” Nick suggested. “We’re just playing monopoly and you don’t have to say anything if you want? Just sit on the couch with us?” Tori considered this. Charlie’s friends sounded kind of scary right now but being alone sounded worse. She nodded slowly, tightening her grip around Alice the fox.

Nick and Charlie helped her out of the bed and put Charlie’s slippers on for her but her chest was still feeling a little bit fluttery and anxious. “You could bring Alice?” Charlie suggested, “They won’t judge you for having a stuffie.” Tori wasn’t so sure about that idea. She was supposed to be Charlie’s big sister. She was supposed to be grown up. She didn’t feel very grown up at all.

“You know Darcy brought a stuffie to the sleepover,” Nick told her. “And Tao, too. It’s not weird, Tori.” Knowing that did calm her nerves a bit. Maybe they wouldn’t question it too much if she brought Alice down with her.

“Kay,” she whispered. The boys didn’t miss the way that whenever she did speak it was directly to Charlie even in response to Nick.

Waking downstairs was a bit scary. The music was still loud and Tori could hear all the voices. But she held Charlie’s hand and Alice in the other which made it feel a bit better. Nick went ahead of them and turned the music down before they got into the front room. “Tori’s gonna hang out with us for a bit,” Nick explained as they came in. Charlie’s friends turned to look at her and it made her stomach clench. They were all smiling though and greeting her warmly which made it feel a bit easier to sit down between Nick and Charlie on the couch. She tucked her feet up to her chest, squishing Alice in between so she wasn’t on display. The solid presence of Nick and Charlie on either side was comforting. She watched as they all played their game of monopoly, Isaac was clearly winning. Tori thought this wasn’t so bad, they were all too engrossed in their game to pay too much mind to Tori, or Alice.

🦊🍋🫂

#little tori spring #heartstopper agere #regressor!tori spring #sfw agere #fandom agere #agere headcanons

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