#spouse was so easy oof

[spookyuu]

Appreciation Post!!

I've seriously been wanting to make a big post appreciating some of the dca content creators that I love (especially after getting to know some of them better) so here's a bunch of compliments and thoughts on them! (Also this is in no order, ily all very much ❤)

@madame-mongoose: Monnster!!! Oh, I love Monnie. Very bullyable (this is a pro). Always so funny and making me laugh. When Monnie comes online, I know there's gonna be some fun times to be had. Easy to talk to and my clone apparently. I wouldn't have made all these new friends if it weren't for Monnie and Sy, so I'm very appreciative of her uwu. Art is very shapely, bendy, very cartoonish in a pleasing way. And very unique to Monnie! I don't think I've seen anyone else with an artstyle like Monnie's. Characters are juicy, very well thought out and full of pain. Your mom.

@suokumi: You came crashing in one day and life has never been the same. Suo is full of love and passion and awful terrible disgusting sleeping habits. But they make up for it by telling everyone else to take care of themselves because they love you sososo much. Really talented, but don't tell them that or else they'll die. Anyway yeah, Suo Art my beloved and also Suo my beloved because we're married. Can bust out 50+ sketches in an hour and is like "dont look" even though I'm frothing at the mouth and shaking them. I love you Suo mwah ❤️

@opudontdonut: La Creatura!!! Bites everyone like watermelon. very fun, very gremlin. Pops in every now and again and throws everyone into a frenzy. A biting frenzy. Good Gaslighter. Take that as you may. Draws chibis really unique in a way I cannot replicate but is so so so so cute. Art is very distinct too!!! The line work especially is very noticable? Thick black lines. Draws the boys v skrunkly too. Nightmare and therapy au my beloveds.

@ariisonfire: TALENTED!!! Very, very talented. Animates, codes, arts, does just about everything and is good at it. Very funny doodles, very dorky. I love Ari!!! Very cute (cutest giggles this side of uh. Idk just really cute giggles) and provides me with Vector content. My spouse, no matter what Lily says.

@skittlewaffle: LOVE the way Kay draws the boys. Her art in general is so sharp and intentional. Precise. Very cartoony as well, good for animation me thinks. Has good AU ideas and brainstorms really well. Literally. The fucking paragraphs kay busts out that obliterate my mind. Also very fun person to hang out with, very silly.

@pillowspace: Beautiful, wonderful person. Somehow manages to draw on her 3ds??? Like a god?? Loves rotini (eat something else I'm begging you) KEEPS FUCKING REBLOGGING MY WATERFALLS PIECE Also has similar brain thoughts as me (ooie to Angel Tango jumpscare) Has a beautiful voice, fr. Sang a song for me which melted my little heart. Makes gut-bustingly funny gifs at the speed of light. Also says??? Things that make no sense but are very funny.

@vilz: Oof, what's not good to say about Val? You know that meme that's like "You're the funniest mother fucker on this webbed site" that's Val. Val's the funniest. Their comics always make me bark laugh like an idiot. Writes very poetically, reading their stuff is like. Like being punched but with a soft caress. Val art is good for the soul, me thinks. Even their doodles on receipt paper give me all the chemicals. Hanging out with Val leaves me smiling for the rest of the day, very fun company.

@cloudyvoid: SUPER talented. Can you believe they drew and rigged their own Vtuber model? I know, impressive right? Draws the DCA skrunkly and lanky just how I like 'em. BRAINS SO HARD WITH ME ABOUT DROWSIE AND GAIA!!? Very nice wonderful person as well, fun company. And ooughhh I just love the oc brainrot with her. Could do it all day, love you mwah.

@crazedauthor: Knows all the fanfics. Well maybe not all, but knows the ones I happen to be thinking about. Pops in mid brainstorm to add something juicy that adds fuel to the fire. Human gasoline. Got obliterated by 1 (one) chip. o7

@daunsun: Another sketch machine. Gives me Eclipse content. FIABC liker, which automatically elevates her status. Tries to shoot people who make fanart, but she deserves it so idk what to tell you. And then turns around and makes fanart for other ppl. smh double standards. Love the way she draws humans. And the boys, but that goes without saying. Honestly the way daun draws the boys is sooo good it's like. I can't even describe. It's like cupcake. Long cupcake.

@cakesfunhouse: Hi __ I'm Cole looking ass. Shoots me dead with fluffy ramblings all the fucking time. Brainstorms really well, dropping good ideas like they had them shoved in their pockets ready to throw. Actually really sweet and fun to talk to. Gremlin, though so beware, they bite. Draws biblically accurate dca fluff, so what's not to love. Will pop in randomly while you're talking to someone else to add something that kills me dead. Like wheezing laughter.

@nmfergus: Nikki my beloved 💜 such a sweetheart, loves to see people happy and excited, always asking questions and seeing how everyone is doing. CHICKENS!!! Farmville. Also Corndrop. Ask Nikki about corndrop. Can you guess what he sells? It's corn. The answer is corn.

@paper-lilypie: LILY!!! omg Lily real. Art is all soft lines and easy to read expressions and kisses and snuggles and basically when I see lily art it's like drinking a cup of hot cocoa. Also the way Lily draws hands? God, what a legend. Give me your hands. Little hater. And enabler. But she's my little hater/enabler so it's okay ❤️ love me a good Lily spotting. Has good au ideas too.

@sycopomp: SYBORG!!! I wouldn't be making this post if it weren't for them and Monnster. Sy writing makes brain go brrrr. Has this way of setting stuff up that pays off later? Like little hints into things that are really fun to pick apart/notice on your own. I can always picture what's happening in Sy writing really well which sucks for me personally when they write ouchie owies. But I love them for it mwah ❤️

@sinnabee: AH Sinna!!! Magician Au makes my brain neurons activate so hard. Very sweet as well, love doing magmas with her. Also funny and caring. Don't get to hang out with much because if timezones but I am always very happy when I do get to vibe with a Sinna. Has wonderful beautiful line work and cool ocs I want to know more about.

@spaciebabie: Chaos. (I'm tempted to have that be the only thing I put here) Also makes me laugh!! drops in and says some shit that has me giggling sillystupid. Art is bubbly. Round. Rotund. Want to get to know better!!! Pizza.

Special Mentions/People I want to get to know better:

@oobbbear: Bearz. Bearz my beloved. Your art makes my heart explode. And you're so funny even without knowing you well. 👁👁 The way you draw so chibi and yet so detailed? Like the way you draw hands? Impeccable. Also H mouth. H mouth so cute. I honestly don't think I would have gotten into drawing Sun and Moon fanart if it wasn't for Bearz' aus infecting me like a disease. So everyone say thank you to Bearz for roping me into this!

@hexheathen: MY NUMBER ONE FAN ❤ My bestie who doesn't know the jesties. I love you with all my heart, and I love spending time with you and the rest of our pals. This is my appreciation post and I say you get appreciated.

@bones-of-a-rabbit: SHY BEAN. Drops some cute ass shit and skitters away. Wish I could know better! They have a lot of good ideas and honestly I see them as one of the best fluff writers for DCA content. It was in Reality Not Fine my beloved. I've said it once and I'll say it again: They really capture the word "Lovestruck" with their expressions. When people say, "They looked at them like they hung the moon and the stars," I imagine the way Rabbit draws sun and moon looking at y/n. It's honestly such a talent.

[accidentalmistress]

Fun facts about me that nobody asked for!

AKA: Reed is feeling chatty this morning.

Reed is the name I would have been given if I were AMAB. I identify as nonbinary, not male, but I like the name, so I decided to use it.

I can cross my eyes independently. My spouse hates it when I do that 😂

I consider myself polyamorous, but I didn't know it for a long time because I'm also ace and don't form deep relationships easily (I get crushes real easy tho). The only relationship I had outside my marriage didn't last for a number of reasons, but mostly because the guy was a sociopath and (tw: assault) tried to choke me. I haven't dated anyone since.

Oof, that got a little heavier than intended. How about a lighter one? 😅 My favorite color is mint green! Or Tiffany blue. There's a bit of a range between more green and more blue that I like, but if it's a pastel kinda teal, it's my jam.

Something that I'm fascinated by is ancient hominids! The fact that there were other species of human living at the same time as modern human ancestors is wild to me. Can you imagine if that were still true today? If there were modern neanderthals or Denisovans or homo floresiensis coexisting with modern humans? What would that world be like? There are still traces of some of them in our DNA from interbreeding, but otherwise we kinda pushed them all to extinction 😅

[tuesdaysinbed]

09 Sep 24

Almost 7 weeks since I last wrote anything. Not much has changed in terms of any kind of emotional intimacy between the spouse and I. I’ve tried to redirect my attention to other things (actually, per his annoyed comment once that I should ‘pick up a hobby instead of being angry about us’) - I studied and took a big exam, I’m working on losing weight, and I’ve been trying to enjoy time with my kids. But, there is no “I love yous,” no kissing, the occasional hug every other day but they feel emotionless and as if someone is offering me a chore. Something they think I want, but they couldn’t care less if they were there for.

Mitchell had another drunk comment (on Clay’s 2nd birthday) that sucked. I had told him that he says stuff I didn’t think he meant while drinking and he asked what kind of stuff. I told him “Like I hold nothing of value for you.” And he said without pause ‘That’s true.’ It took me almost two hours to get past the hard rock in my stomach after that. I brought it up and asked ‘Do you realize you’re telling me that you don’t think I have any value when you say this? That this is what that sentence means…?’ And he seemed to miss the point that telling your spouse twice that you didn’t think they had value might hurt like hell and cause some emotional psychological torture for the months of not addressing it being said. He did, however, ramble off about how he has considered it heavily if he even loves me… but don’t worry, he finally settled on that he did after a few months. The closest to an “I love you.” I’ve been in two months. Oof.

Yesterday, in the car, I made a comment about how I didn’t think he was attracted to my personality and he responded with “I’m sorry you feel that way” and a tone of mainly exhaustion (because here I am bringing up serious conversations again and that’s annoying) and a slight bit of surprise. I sat there thinking about if he actually understood that I don’t believe he loves me or finds me attractive - that I don’t believe he’d marry me again if given the choice - but gave the thought up in defeat at the actual reality that he probably doesn’t even think anything about it.

I tried kissing, casually, almost two weeks ago with the help of some liquid courage. He misunderstood the gesture as one saying we should have sex… but I didn’t want to have sex and I said so several times. I definitely didn’t want to have unprotected sex… it was consensual what we did, but in the end just my hormones out pacing my head. Enough foreplay, I thought, to maybe drown out if I even cared if I felt loved or not. After a few minutes, I realized that wasn’t the case and I did care as the act was starting to make me feel more sad than satisfied. I offered and completed oral acts instead.. and I’m waiting to take a pregnancy test later. He made a comment in the middle of it all that he knew I was super attracted to him and that was one thing he had going for him. I haven’t known how to feel about that statement, even if it’s right.. Am I just some person who he realizes is so sexually attracted to him that I’m easy, boring prey for him? Have I made myself too easy to be desirable?

I re-attempted the topic of kissing again a few days later (now over a week ago) that “I think you may have misunderstood my kissing the other night… I just thought it would be nice to /kiss/. I want you to know I’m open to casual.. kissing.” His response was “Okay.” And he rolled over to go to bed. I laid there wondering wtf was wrong with me to keep doing this to myself.. to keep putting myself out there with no response or interest. He didn’t bring anything up in the morning or the next day.

A couple days passed and I brought it up again, light-heartedly like it was funny .. “Hey, remember how I brought up that I like kissing and you were like ‘okay.’ And rolled over and went to bed? Lol, wasn’t that so funny that you’d be so disinterested, haha.” And he commented ‘I was tired! I was about to go to bed! And I liked that you said that! You just always bringing things up while we’re in bed.’ But there’s been no attempt at kissing since, no comments about the topic after having had time to think about it and process it (which is later said he wanted time to do…), and no realizations that adding “Thank you for telling me that, I’d like that.” before “Okay.” and rolling over would have cost him 3 seconds and minimal effort. Im left facing the reality that if he wanted those things… he’d pursue those things… but, he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to kiss me.

I called Military OneSource three nights ago to set up counseling…. Again…. Just me being the only one setting up counseling… Because, God, what other options do I have? Nothing is changing. Nothing is getting better. It doesn’t matter how many fights we don’t have, it doesn’t matter if I ‘earn through good behavior’ this imaginary level of finally deserving his attention, it doesn’t matter if I try and offer olive branches… this man is so painfully, evidentially, not in love with me, not attracted to me, and does not want me. My choices are: Deal, keep trying at something, or break up…. And I’m honestly ticked that as much as I get crapped on ‘for not trying,’ I’m doing a hell of a lot of it. We’ll see if the counselor they contacted ends up calling or if I’ll need to move onto another counselor… and eventually breach that conversation again.

Idk. Just laying in bed thinking it all over and feeling worthless. I at least feel more stable about life.. but yeah, just worthless to my spouse. I guess this is life for the foreseeable future.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

10/27/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription - Part 2

Luke 14-15

Commentary:

Last part of our reading today we have three parables which are the direct teachings of Jesus back-to-back. The parable of the lost sheep, the parable of the lost coin, the parable of the lost son. The keyword for the theme for all three parables is lost. Lost sheep, lost coin, lost son. I think it's so easy for us to just go ahead and assume and then define who's lost based on behaviors, words, our own judgment. And I hear this and I think, man, I get lost. I get distracted. I like to find my own path and walk on it and just peace out. I will catch you later if I feel like it and if I don't then I'll just keep on this path that I'm going on because I think I know better. And then this story, the parable of the lost son, really just hits at home, doesn't it? Like we find ourselves as the boy working in the field right? Just like I've been here. I've been faithful to you. I didn't- I didn't swindle away and squander what you gave me to invest. I've, I've not left your side. I have helped you. And you're going to give? You're just you're just going to give my brother that acted completely irresponsible. You're going to throw him a party and and why? Why are we celebrating? Or maybe you've heard this phrase that I keep hearing. Why are we going to celebrate his sin? I am not going to celebrate or love him and make him think what he's done is right. Oof. It's so amazing. We want God to be fair and just when it comes to us, but we rarely want it for other people when it seems as if they are less deserving of the same love, the same mercy, the same grace that is available to us. His father spells it out so clearly to him. Dear son, you have always stayed with me. Everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day, for your brother was dead and has come back to life. He was lost. There's that word lost. But now he is found. I have been lost. I have been distracted. I have lost my way. I have walked away, if you want to know who the lost is, who is the one that Jesus would leave the 99 to find the one for, it could literally be any of us. We could look in the mirror. We could look at our neighbor. We could look across the street, we could look at those in our church, we could look at those that we dine with, that we are in the park with, that we work with. All of us are capable of being lost. All of us are capable of wandering away. All of us are capable of being distracted. But until we look at those around us as the one. The one that Jesus would leave the 99 to go find until we can muster enough grace and mercy for our own brother who has been away, our own son, our own child, our own spouse who has been away but has come back. I think we have to start seeing people as the one that Jesus would leave to find, rather than the ones that Jesus would reject, dismiss, cancel out, and never even approach them in the first place.

Prayer: 

Father, we thank you for your word today. We thank you for the reminder that you will go to great lengths for us to welcome us back, to help us find our way, to help those of us who get lost along the journey, who get distracted like a sheep would, who get lost like a coin would get misplaced and who consciously walk away to do their own thing. I thank you that we have this reminder that you go to great lengths to come after us and I pray that she would give us eyes to see those around us as the ones that you would leave. The safe place to go and rescue. Help us. Help us to be rescuers, to lead the sheep back to the flock. Help us to be the ones that will go find the one lost coin that has the woman in distress. Help us to be the ones who set the table for the celebration for the one that comes back home. And help us be the one to leave the field that has had everything available to us and be the first one to meet the one returning home. I pray for the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives to give us courage to step out, to speak out, not join the collective choir of voices yelling how unfair, how unjust that we would see the things that you did that did not make sense and that we would move according to the Spirit of God. I pray this now in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

Daily Audio Bible. That's home base. Check it out, it's the app. If you have not, take a look around. There is a store. There's some incredible resources that have been designed to enhance your journey through the Bible. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, we thank you so much for your partnership. We could not do this without you. We are so grateful that we do not have to. If you're giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill TN 37174 or hit the give icon. It's up at the top right hand corner of your mobile app. And then lastly, look for the give icon at the website. If you need prayer, if you'd like to pray for someone that's previously called in- several different ways for you to do so, 800-583-2164 or hit the red circle button using that app. Again, you've got two minutes on the prayer line. Hit submit, turn the wheel over to Chronological and it will get to the right place. If you are reaching out for someone that's called in for connection, we ask you to use our social media platforms or find them on social media. Send them a friend request, but we do provide specific platforms, if you are a Daily Audio Bible listener. So if you have not joined those platforms and that's the best and easiest way for you to reach out to one another, that's going to do it for me today. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Hello, this is Daughter of the Silversmith. If I could talk, I want to pray for Simone. Simone, I hope you know that you're hey y'all hey is a beacon of light in a dark world. And it always makes my heart jump a bit and I like it's small and just thank you for that. And you're just...your voice is beautiful, and I know you can make it through this. Iron sharpens iron. And we're here, baby. Just go ahead and hit us. We'll hit you in that arm. When it hits, it sharpens. So you are not alone. You will make the right decision. Just elevate your ears, turn them to the master so he can speak to you and just don't stop praying and we won't either. Love you.

Hi DABC. This is Pamela Resting in the Lord in Pennsylvania. I'm calling in to encourage all of us. I'm remembering Simone and keeping you in my prayers, sister, and all of us who are struggling in one way or another with the darkness in the world and things going on in our lives. The enemy would love nothing more than to steal, kill and destroy, to divide and conquer, and to take us all down, but we don't have to do that. We can keep our mind on the Lord, on things above, on the promises that he has for us- the good and the glory that he will bring, regardless of how dark it is out there. Light shines brightest in the darkness, so let's be the light of Christ everywhere we go. I'd like to pray. Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you for your word and for all the promises that you have for us in it and for how you teach us through history, how consequences happen when we fall away. And you have demonstrated throughout history these through the Israelites, that when they followed you they were blessed, and when they fell away, consequences happened. And God allowed it to bring them back to him. So help us to keep that in mind with the war in Israel. 70% of the Israelis are not practicing and God is calling them, calling them back to him. May his will be done in all of our lives. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 

Unashamed from Western Pennsylvania. This is Adrian, his mighty tortoise in Maryland. Thank you so much for calling in. I was unaware that this is Pregnancy Loss awareness month. Thank you for letting us know. And I'm so sorry for your losses. What a painful, painful, painful thing to go through- two still-borns and multiple miscarriages. I am so very sorry and my heart hurt so badly for you. My daughter's had 2 1/2 years or had to in half years of multiple fertility heartbreak. She is now pregnant with invited by in vitro. She had this is her second in vitro attempt. In the first in vitro attempt failed and this is her second and I did one egg with the only did one embryo at a time so they don't have that unlike the way that it used to be, where you put in multiple embryos and hope that one takes, they only do one at a time and they make sure that the embryo is healthy. So she's now due the end of January. But it's been hard road. So I understand your pain and I am praying that our dearest Lord, our dearest Papa, will give you the desire of your heart, which is a baby, all the little one to raise and to carry forth. Oh dearest Papa, please take care of this family. Come. We know that, we know that that you meant for us to have children and you meant for us to be fruitful and multiply, multiply. And it's so painful when we're not able to. So please be with this family. Please be with Unashamed in Western Pennsylvania in Jesus, name we pray. Amen. Oh, Unashamed, this is your friend Adrian in Maryland. Thank you for calling in.

[raspberryconverse]

IDK why, but for some reason I decided to read my old Blogger blog and just read the tagged posts about the boy I dated when I was 21.

Oof.

I do see why that one person was team [him], even when I started blogging again on LiveJournal 2 years ago. He'll always be the one who got away.

Don't get me wrong, I am so fucking happy with my spouse. I honestly don't know if he hadn't left for grad school that we would have fared better. I just got to the point where we actually broke up (even though we were trying to make it work long distance) basically because his family didn't like me. I mean, they didn't dislike me, but they most certainly didn't want their son to marry me. And considering parents usually love me (my in-laws do, for sure), it was such a blow.

He actually described it as we were a good dating couple, but not a good courting couple. We're obviously not talking fundie-level courtship, but southern religious vibes for sure. His dad was a Methodist pastor (I used to say he was a WASM - white Anglo-Saxon Methodist as opposed to a WASP, though I guess Methodism is technically Protestant, but hell if this atheist knows how any of that shit works) and they were from the Atlanta suburbs, so it was a very different world from my Midwestern divorced agnostic upbringing. I mean, his sister wrote him a multi page letter expressing her disdain for us taking a nap together when I visited him at his parents' house whereas my mom let us take her bed when we visited my family one weekend. We came from very different worlds, that's for sure.

I actually forgot what kick started our relationship. We had met a month or 2 prior while volunteering at The Neo-Futurists. Oddly enough, I kinda got to know him one night after some event when he, my college best friend, my soon-to-be ex and I ended up at a table together (I've been trying to find the context, but I honestly don't remember other than it was something Neo-Futurist related) Then, a fellow volunteer called me because his car broke down and he couldn't make his volunteer shift and asked if I'd be willing to cover. So we ran into each other again. It was his first time volunteering for Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind and afterwards, I made an offhand comment about being hungry and only having Easy Mac at home, so we went to IHOP.

A few weeks later was my 21st birthday. I had invited him to my birthday gathering, but he had to decline because he had to finish some stuff up at work. Then, he surprised me. After we left the bar, he suggested we get booze at the grocery store and drink at his place instead. My college best friend told me later that she was going to suggest going to another bar so she could basically pull a Stevie and leave so we could have a chance to connect.

Eventually, we need to go home, so he walked us to the el. Before I went though the turnstile, he hugged me goodbye.

And kissed me.

I think this is why I have to watch this part of "Grad Night" every night before I go to bed. It was my birthday and it wasn't supposed to end up this way. He wasn't supposed to be there. But then he was.

It will never not be magical. That moment of, "I'm feeling something here, so I'm just going to go for it."

It has literally been over a decade and a half (yes, I'm still being cryptic about exactly how old I am because this site makes me feel really fucking old sometimes) and I still get butterflies when I think of that night.

One thing that is kind of helpful when I get nostalgic is look at his Facebook and notice he did not age well. Shallow, I know, but aside from being so much heavier than I was then (it's actually pretty disgusting how disordered my eating/weight management was back then, especially when I would complain that I had gotten up to 140lbs and I'm at least 50lbs heavier than that now) and a few gray hairs (and I was dying my hair back then too so that's not really a thing), I look pretty much the same.

(obviously rounder face because I'm significantly heavier, but I don't think I've really aged that much)

And FWIW, I'm definitely happy with how my life turned out.

It's nothing like I thought it'd be, especially reading my old blog, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.

[elitehoe]

For the spouse, one night stand or best friend ask:

The Shield

(I feel like I’ve asked something similar for them before)

Spouse: Mox (he's literally one of my first major crushes + we know from Renee he's the best husband)

One night stand: Seth (just let him do his worst, absolutely ruin me for one night)

Best friend: Roman (he always seemed like such a genuine friend + I feel like he would give great hugs)

[necros-writing-stuff]

Just saw that you write for Wesker

could we get yandere big bro Wesker being possessive towards younger sibling reader who is a member of STARS and looks up to their big brother and Wesker taking advantage of their trust and love to fuck them and make them into his perfect little spouse. Even though they keep begging him to stop, reader loves their big bro to much to ever tell anyone about what Wesker is doing to them and eventually Wesker fucks his little sibling into a mind break.

Oof Wesker being extra possessive of his sibling because you're the only one that let him relax as a kid. Everyone else was constantly pushing him to be the best at everything - but not you. You just wanted to have fun. To be kids. You were his little ray of sunshine.

So he makes sure you're loyal to him. Encourages you to learn his interests so that you can work in the same places and never be far away for long. It only started as a comfort thing. That first kiss that had escalated into him pulling you onto his dick and using his seed to mark you as his.

It was easy to convince you that it's what you need to give him. That that is the way you should show your love. He's always had the final say in anything you do, this is no different. He's dictated your life for most of the years you've been alive, you know nothing different.

Wesker did teach you how to pretend you're a responsible adult when you join STARS. Because that's what it is. Pretending. You need him. But now that you're around regular people, you're starting to see that Wesker is wrong. Abusive, maybe. But you can't pull away! He's your brother, you love him! You can help him, you're sure.

Instead, you end up over his desk with his gloves shoved in your mouth to keep you quiet as he plows you. The blinds are closed. No one can see you. And he'll light some candles to disguise the scent after. You're not taking away the only thing that truly gives him peace. Not ever. And he might just have to tale you out of STARS to make sure you don't tell anyone.

[coffeestainedcamera]

S2 ep 6 of Hacks starts w trying to girlboss the Salem witch trials. Yeahhhhh, not the best idea. Good to have a Kiki sighting too (and I'd love to hear what kind of advice she provided to the bikers).

Also today in parasocial relationships... Deb uncomf realizing that her number of active stalkers is dropping. Cool that Axel Axel got help and is no longer doing gross things tho! Imagine deciding to go to a bar with your employee's mom tho. And then they have an argument about pyramid schemes.

Also, a moment of appreciation for the writers actually acknowledging that yeah, older folks hook up too. It's not played for humor or horror either! This is prob the first show I've seen that does that but I do admittedly watch a lot of 20 smth shows like Succession.

Anyways, pouring one out for Ava and her mom both. Bc one is still explaining what clinical depression is, the other is struggling to figure out what to do after her husband's passing. About summed up by the "I just wanted you to be proud of me" line.

And it'd have been so easy to fall into the trap of demonizing suburban moms who fall for pyramid schemes. But please consider the fact that stuff like Tupperware parties started happening as there was increasing tension between the voting rights some (read: primarily white) women got and the fact that they couldn't open a freaking checking account without their husbands' permissions until the 70's. So, pyramid schemes happened bc company could act like it's helping housewives become entrepreneurs, never mind the rip-offs on the inventory return policies and other things.

So, yeah, about tracks that one would be preying on someone who was already dealing with the empty nest syndrome and just lost a spouse. Gross, esp once you realize that this particular one is basically playing on health and aging anxieties.

Deb going back to both punching at herself and the audience tho... oof. There's prob also something to be said about audiences that cough laugh at this type of humor.

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 1: A Mark

Anonymous said: Not sure if someone has requested this yet, but I’d love to see how the cast would react to an assassin coming after Ghost or Quirrel. I mean, there’s gotta be some bugs out there who don’t adore the new sovereigns right?

Anonymous said: If your still doing these (if not I’m really sorry and please just ignore me) may I request 17: “Ok, well… Fuck.” With Quirrel and Ghost being his knight in shining armour.

Read here on AO3 :3

Quirrel looked in the mirror, sighing to himself as he regarded his reflection. He was due to make a public appearance today along with Ghost, so he had to look the part of a King. He still didn’t feel much like a king, not really. He felt more like he did when he was helping his mother run the archives, which was a lot of running around and keeping people from losing their fingers to explosives. It wasn’t all about preventing disasters, it was also about fostering the love of learning and the curiosity that makes society better. So in a way...he felt the same now as he did then. There was more paperwork, of course, but he was happy. It helped that he had a spouse to share the load with.

He fiddled with the ring on his left hand, the pale ore gleaming in the light. It had been made from Ghost’s old nail, with them having a matching ring. They had long since outgrown the old nail, and most of it was used in making the pure nail he now carried. Still, it was something special that their rings were made with the metal that helped kill a god and started the rebirth of Hallownest. Smith and Sheo were absolutely delighted to work on them, and now the both of them had completely unique nails and rings that will probably last forever.

Today was going to be a rather emotional day for Ghost. He remembered them telling him snippets about the Soul Sanctum here and there. They could only mention what they were comfortable talking about, and it wasn’t much of it that qualified as such. Sometime during their journey to end the infection, they had entered the Soul Sanctum and put down the mad scientist within along with his equally mad followers. Grandeurs of immortality and power was enough to corrupt any bug, but from what he heard, the ones involved went far beyond corruption. It was evil. Pure evil. Ghost usually stopped talking at around that point, and Quirrel found himself cuddling them as they sought comfort to ease what they cannot forget.

The worst day perhaps, was when the Kingdom had established themselves enough to expand beyond bare necessities. As soon as the funds was available, Ghost had the Soul Sanctum completely stripped down to the bare walls and floors. They had gone that day to oversee it all and when they returned, they could barely hold themselves together. They spent the night crying, mourning the lives lost in the pursuit of power. They had given the dead within rest, but it still destroyed them on the inside to have to return to that place. Quirrel did his best to help, and many a sleepless night was spent together, attempting to heal deep wounds within.

They had recovered, in time. Stripping the place had done a lot to help them move on from the experience, and they had decided to turn it into something new. Something useful that would help bugs and not harm them. Something that promoted life, not take them away.

Its where they were going today, to officially open it up to the public. Quirrel would be there not only as a fellow ruler, but as support for Ghost. Despite it all, it was going to be hard for them.

Quirrel smoothed back his antenna and tied his silk kerchief around his head. It was a necessary habit he picked up while growing up with his mother. After burning his antenna one too many times due to splashes of acid or a chemical reaction gone wrong, he tended to pin them back. They got in the way sometimes, but once in a while he felt safe enough to let them out. The palace didn’t really have acid, or volatile chemicals, but old habits die hard.

He clipped on his cloak, letting the study fabric fall around his shoulders as he pinned it in place. It was a lovely blue, nearly iridescent, and clasped with a pale ore brooch that designated him as king. There was no way he could ever bring himself to wear something as tacky as a crown. Hell, Ghost wouldn’t even be able to fit one on their head. Instead, brooches seemed to fit a whole lot better.

Once he made sure his nail was strapped to his side, he deemed himself ready, and exited the room - only to nearly smack into his spouse, who was opening the door at the same time.

“Oof!” Running into Ghost wasn’t as fun as it was when they were little. Back then their shell was soft and kinda squishy like any other grub. But once stasis ended and they caught up on all their missed molts, their chitin had become tough and hard.

“Are you alright?” Ghost’s telepathy was soft and gently breezed by his mind. It’s just something gods could do, apparently. Their sire could, Quirrel knew that as a fact, but the fact they also ate a god boosted their ability to communicate without relying on sign language. They only ‘spoke’ like this to family and friends, a little too nervous to use it on the public. Quirrel hoped that would change with time.

He didn’t blame them, though. They were terrified of being considered scary. They were certainly imposing, but not as much as their sibling, Hollow. There were those that will always be scared of them, with them being a god and immensely powerful. But enough of their subjects loved them enough to not care. He just wished they could see it. Quirrel considered them handsome and cute, but then again, he was biased.

“I’m okay love, I was about to go and find you.” Quirrel smoothed down the front of his cloak and picked at Ghosts, adjusting it around a little. “It’s nearly time.”

Ghost was silent for a moment, and then leaned down to softly bonk their forehead against theirs. “I know.”

“You’ll be fine. That place doesn’t exist anymore.” He did his best to soothe any lingering nerves. Being around Ghost for so long as alerted him to their various tells. “It’s a better place now. Much better.”

They nodded slowly and let out a deep breath. “You are right. It is just hard to let go of what it was.”

“I understand, it will take a while, but you are doing great.” Quirrel took Ghost’s claws in his and gently squeezed. “Come along then, we don’t want to be late to the dedication.”

Ghost tilted their mask up in a smile, and then nodded. They bent down to steal a quick kiss, one that Quirrel returned, and together, they headed to the Stag Station.

----

The Capital was bustling, like always. It no longer was the City of Tears, not with the new revitalization of Hallownest. The rain had been stopped, redirected with new plant life growing on the ceiling. Lurien himself helped renew the spells that kept the water from outright pouring out of the lake above. Without being constantly rained on, more bugs were out and about. Today however, they were gathering in front of what used to be the Soul Sanctum, waiting around a platform where their rulers would be giving a speech. Most bugs were eager to enter the newly renovated building, because it was for them, and them alone.

The Soul Sanctum, which had brought so much death and misery to so many lives, had been converted into a multi-level communal greenhouse. There, farmer bugs would grow a verity of food, which is then free to be picked and used by the public. Taxes from the upper members of society will be used to keep the place running. That way, no bug would have to go hungry. The intimidating and Gothic architecture of the building had been transformed into a pillar of glass and green. It was now friendly, the oppressive air from before banished into a place of shelter. Not only could you go there to eat, but you can go there to rest among some of the floors dedicated to flowers. It was a gift, from the rulers of New Hallownest to the people, and the people were waiting to be allowed in to enjoy it.

The five new knights of Hallownest stood in various places around the crowd. So far, they didn’t need to do much but remind some citizens to calm down and not crowd each other. With Xena on her beast (named Pickles, but only she can call them that), it was easy to keep everyone in line. Cloth stole a quick moment to wave to Myla in the crowd, temporarily breaking protocol, but it wasn’t like Tiso was going to scold her for that, since he did the same thing. Once he finished his quick wave to his other date friend, he scanned the crowd and recognizing a few folks from Dirtmouth as well. A lot of people showed up to this dedication, hell, he even spotted a few spiders and bees in the crowd. It just made him scan the crowd more thoroughly. Threats could come from anywhere, and he took security very seriously.

It wasn’t long before he spotted the Kings approach the platform and climb on, waiting for the crowds cheering to die down before they began the ceremony. Quirrel was doing the speaking today, Ghost standing beside them and holding his hand. Tiso remembered when Ghost was small enough to pick up and throw. It was lots of fun, but now they were too big for that. Oh well. As soon as the crowd’s noise died down, Quirrel tapped a speaking stone on the provided podium and his voice was projected outwards to be heard by everyone.

“Hello to you all, our dear subjects. Today we continue to do our very best to provide for you, our people, whom we dearly love and cherish. This site was a place of tragedy, and pain, part of the past of old Hallownest that was rife with corruption and oversight. But today we have washed away the dark and terrible past, to bring in the new, which is full of hope and life. We have -”

Quirrel had always been a good speaker. But Tiso wasn’t here to hear a speech. He heard it before, when Quirrel had asked him and his fellow knights to hear it and give honest feedback. Tiso had suggested Quirrel get to the damn point because nobody liked just standing around, so he thankfully cut the speech down by half.

There were bugs everywhere. Bugs in the square, bugs that could climb were hanging on buildings, bugs looking out windows, bugs on roofs, everywhere. Tiso scanned them all, eyes narrowed. It was no lie that there were bugs out there who didn’t agree with the direction the new government was taking, especially having another god as a ruler. Ghost and Quirrel had managed to piss off the right people. They were the folks that enjoyed profiting by gaming the system, and that system came tumbling down once Ghost claimed the throne. It got even worse when they married Quirrel, who was scarily smart. Quickly it became obvious that nobody was going to get away with old hustles anymore.

Quirrel continued talking, and Tiso continued watching. Then, something caught his eye. A glint of metal shined on one of the rooftops, a figure crouched down behind it. The glint moved, and Tiso’s heart went cold.

“GET DOWN!”  He shouted, and with a heft, threw his shield as hard as he could. Bugs instantly dropped to the ground and the knights gathered to the podium. The shield whistled through the air, and with a satisfying clunk, impacted the bug on the roof. There was a brief shout of pain, and then came the thwip as a crossbow bolt lodged itself in the podium. It was obviously aimed for the pillbug’s head, and it missed him by scant inches. Someone in the crowd screamed and it started a chain reaction of panic. Cloth and Ogrim took crowd duty, ushering the crowd into nearby buildings to get them off the streets and away from the danger.

Xena was already heading up to the roof atop her beast, the creature climbing up the sides with frightening speed. Tiso flashed his soul and recalled his shield, just in time to hear the bug on the roof start screaming once the beast reached it’s fanged maw out and grabbed them. He trusted Xena to keep at least enough of them alive for questioning later.

To add more chaos to the mix, some bugs in the crowd dropped their cloaks, revealing nails, and rushed the podium.

“No more gods! No more masters!” Some of them shouted. The sentiment was echoed by the other assassins as they parted through the crowd, not caring about who they knocked over or trampled in their haste. Bugs continued to scream, struggling to get out of the way as some were simply tossed aside to make way. Tiso could hear grubs wailing and the sharp clang of metal as some of the bugs in the crowd took up their own nails. They were valiantly trying to hold back the assassins, who cruelly cut them down and left them to bleed out. Thankfully medics were among the guards, and they quickly raced out to try and save the injured civilians.

So this was a coordinated assassination attempt, usually they were done by singular bugs. They must have gotten a little smarter. Tiso was about to jump into the fray, only to hold back when Hollow sped past him and body checked an assassin so hard that he could hear the chitin cracking from where he stood. Ouch.  He let Hollow do their thing and barked out orders to his guardsmen. They had to get everything under control, and fast.

However, the Kings of Hallownest were no pushovers. Quirrel practically teleported, moving with an insane amount of speed to kill an assassin with a flash of their nail. Since the crossbow bolt was aimed at him, Ghost was especially pissed. They were trying their best to not change into their true, terrifying form and completely destroy the square they worked so hard to rebuild. Judging by the extra three pairs of eyes that opened on their mask, they were barely holding on. Tiso did not blame them.

One assassin got lucky, moving at just the right time to scratch their nail along Quirrel’s side. He let out a hiss of pain and leapt backwards, ignoring the wound for now. He moved to retaliate, only to see said assassin become a smear of hemolymph on the platform. He glanced up to see an absolutely furious Ghost retract a void tentacle back into their body, still coated in a thin sheen of gore.

“Are you okay?” Ghost’s mental voice was now tight, louder. Quirrel could hear the rumbling of the void in behind, overlapping as the power of a god began to leak through Ghost’s control.

“Yes dear, just a scratch.” Quirrel sidestepped another assassin, bringing his nail around to cleanly slice off their nail arm. The assassin screamed, now missing an arm, and was quickly grabbed by Ghost and slammed bodily into the ground. Ghost then proceeded to kick them into the nearest building, cracking the stone slightly and leaving said bug a quivering mess.

As quickly as it all began, it was over. In total there were eight assassins. Three were outright dead, most due to Ghost. The rest were maimed and beaten bloody, but were alive. They weren’t too sure if the ones Hollow got to would survive or not. Either way, they weren’t going to get out of the situation alive, either by the executioner’s axe or dying from their wounds. Tiso had ordered the spare guard out, and there was a city wide search for more conspirators. There was no way to tell how many were out there, at least, until the prisoners were questioned. Something Tiso was going to enjoy doing so very much.

Ghost was panting, trying to calm down after losing their control for the bare moments it took for the fight to finish. Quirrel shivered, also breathing heavily. Adrenaline was surging through his body still and he doubted he’d be able to calm down anytime soon. Ghost had grabbed him, holding him tight as they too, shook. For a being designed to have no emotions, Ghost sure wore theirs on their sleeve, frantically patting Quirrel down for injuries. He knew what they were afraid of, and he stopped their hands with his to prevent their anxiety from taking over their rational thought.

“I’m okay love, it’s just a scratch.” He had time to look at his wound, bleeding blue. It wasn’t even terribly deep. It would just need some cleaning and some shell paste. If anything, it was making a mess of his cloak. The cleaners were going to have an absolute fit about it. He sighed as Ghost moved their hands to the wound, clearly worried.

“Your Majesties!” Ogrim hurried over. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine, thank you. What of the assassins'?” Quirrel again, moved his hands to hold Ghost’s as he listened to Ogrim.

“Captured. We have guards scouring the city for anything suspicious.” The dung beetle looked about the now empty square, watching the assassins that were dead being dragged away. “Tiso and Xena are going to head an investigation once they interrogate-”

Ghost whistled, stopping Ogrims words. “I will interrogate them.”

“Your majesty, are you sure, you-”

“I am very sure.” They had since hunched protectively over Quirrel, arms like a gate around him. The malice in their 'voice' wasn't hard to miss, something Ogrim picked up on. He was always able to pick out the tiniest of details.

Ogrim bowed his head, but spoke plainly. “With all due respect, as your knight, and as your friend, I urge you to at least let the captain and his lieutenant do their job first before you decide to do anything.”

“Ogrim is right, love.” Quirrel reached up to cup Ghost’s cheek, hand oddly feeling weak. Perhaps he was still worked up? He started feeling a little dizzy, maybe he needed somewhere quiet to de-stress for a little while. He wouldn't mind retreating back to their bedroom to cuddle for a while. That should be able to do the trick nicely. Still, he continued with his advice. “You are too worked up right now. You need to calm down first. We both do.”

Ghost shook for a moment, and then took a few deep breaths. “Okay. Please tell Tiso and Xena to get as much from the prisoners as they can. I will be there shortly.”

Ogrim nodded. “Of course, Cloth and Hollow will be here soon and they will be able to escort you back to the palace.”

Quirrel started to say something and then was hit by a sudden wave of light headedness. He grabbed onto Ghost’s arm to steady himself as he momentarily lost feeling in his legs.

Ogrim and Ghost noticed that for sure. “Your majesty?” Ogrim questioned, reaching out a claw to offer support.

“No no- I’m fine...I’m..” The world twisted and a spike of pain and nausea punctured his gut. He suddenly couldn’t tell which way was up or down anymore. His legs gave out and through an increasing and concerning wave of numbness, he felt himself being caught.

“QUIRREL!!”  The mental shout was loud, and with it came more noises he couldn’t quite make out.

Ok, well… fuck.” The pain seemed to get worse, now a burning sensation that spread from the wound on his side to the very core of his body. His lungs hurt. His heart hurt. A disturbing wave of pain twisted around his limbs and went right into his brain. It suddenly got more difficult to breathe as he clutched his spouse with his claws.

He was dimly aware of someone screaming desperately, echoing around his head as he lost the ability to understand it, he was too busy gasping for breath.

The noises blended together until finally, there was nothing but darkness.

-----

“In you go, ya fucker.” Tiso not so gently tossed one assassin, a particularly nasty looking cricket, onto the stone floor of the dungeon cell. They had given just the bare amount of medical care necessary to keep them alive. The worst injury was the stump where their nail arm used to be, cleanly cut in half by the biggest nerd in the kingdom. “This’ll be your new home for a while, but it can get a little nicer if you decide to talk.”

“It won’t make any difference,” The cricket spat a wad of hemo on the floor. “I’m dead anyway.”

“True…” Tiso mused, leaning on the bars to stare the other bug right in the eyes. “But would you rather prefer a quick death, or being dragged kicking and screaming into the void? Cause let me tell you, I’d rather take a beheading over that. That shit is fucked up.”

“Typical of a tyrant.”

“You seriously calling the squirt and the nerd tyrants? I mean, they literally were about to open a public greenhouse so that everyone can eat before you idiots crashed it.” Tiso tapped his shield against the bars, making the metal ting in the most annoying way possible. He absolutely loved messing with prisoners like that, it made them slip up more often than not. Tiso learned more from pissing off the prisoners than he ever did 'nicely' interrogating them. “I don't know about you, but that don’t sound like tyrants to me.”

“All gods, are tyrants.” The doomed assassin moved to sit up, resting their back against the cold stone walls. Their movements were awkward, now that they were missing an arm. “The Pale King was. The Radiance was. Even the White Lady. Now we have an even more powerful tyrant as our king! We can’t keep letting ourselves become playthings for monsters!”

“Call them a monster one more time and I’ll feed ya to Xena’s beast, and the beast chews slowly.” Tiso narrowed his eyes at the bug on the other side of the bars. He could roughly hear the other prisoners being tossed in their cells as well. Judging by the echoes, they were spouting the same nonsense and getting zero sympathy for it. “You’re a fucking idiot, you think you can just kill our Kings like that? King Ghost killed the Radiance, for fucks sake!”

The cricket smiled through their broken mandibles, dribbling hemo over their cloak. “No, we can’t kill the tyrant, but we can hurt them.”

Tiso stared, shocked by the words. A very bad feeling sat in his gut, and was quickly vindicated when Cloth rounded the corner.

“Tiso!” she shouted. “It’s Quirrel!”

“Yeah?” The bad feeling grew stronger and he desperately prayed to whatever was listening, that the next words out of his love's mouth wasn’t going to be bad news.

“Quirrel...he's...He’s been poisoned!”

Tiso’s world went numb, and all he could hear was the insane laughter of the prisoner behind him.

[lovelylogans]

the danes family christmas

or: the danes-sanders-prince-tamura-cabrera-key-bowes christmas. but danes family christmas flows a bit easier, doesn’t it?

part of the wyliwf verse.

warnings: food mentions, mentions of divorce, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, please let me know if i’ve missed any!

pairings: patton/virgil, logan/roman

word count: 5,876

notes: hi! this is just a quick little fic. happy christmas, a belated happy hanukkah, and a happy early kwanzaa! if you don’t celebrate any of those, then happy friday! this is essentially a “where are they now” snapshot of the danes family, who were all introduced in last year’s christmas fic. i hope you enjoy!

⁂

it starts when virgil hangs up the phone at the diner—the landline against the wall right by the entry to the kitchen, not his cellphone—looking strangely happy. and, considering there were only ever two kinds of phone calls that phone received, one of which being business calls—

“mom or dad?” patton asks, as he sits at the counter.

“my mom,” virgil says. “freddie finally got the flights finalized, they’re coming for christmas.”

patton claps in excitement. “that’s great!”

“so that’s everyone,” virgil says brightly. “all five of us, plus spouses and partners and kids, ‘cept—”

and then he stops himself, tilts his head, and asks, “hey, what are your christmas plans?”

⁂

and so it begins—patton negotiates them out of attending any sanders’ christmas celebrations, in exchange promising to bring himself and logan and the new beaus (as his mother had called them) to a cocktail get-together on new year’s eve. 

and then virgil had caught on to the fact them all leaving would leave roman and isadora as the only ones in their little cobbled-together family in sideshire for christmas, and freddie had, too, and immediately gotten on the phone to beg isadora to come along, so that meant crafting an elaborate plan for a road trip on christmas after the matinee christmas morning performance of the nutcracker, which is where they are now: all five of them in virgil’s car, suitcases packed away in the trunk, on their way down to the elder danes’ family home.

oh, and in the middle of all these preparations, not one but two romantic unions were formed, so. it’s been a bit of a busy couple of months.

“okay,” roman says, from where he’s stuffed in the middle seat between logan and his mom, virgil driving and patton attempting to play at navigator, “run me through the entire family tree again, it’s been a minute since i’ve seen everyone.”

so logan opens his phone, scrolls for a little bit, then clicks on a photo they must have taken the last time they were all together in a big group, and zooms in before he hands the phone over to roman to hold. roman’s mom peers over his shoulder.

“so, we’ll start with the danes’,” logan says, and taps each of their faces as he goes—”meredith, mark, wyatt, esther, silas, winifred, and of course, virgil.”

“right.”

he then proceeds to tap the woman and man flanking wyatt. “adam bowes and alexandria cabrera, but she goes by lexa—”

isadora tilts her head at lexa. “i remember her. isn’t she colombian?”

“her parents immigrated from ecuador,” virgil corrects, “but she studied abroad for a bit in colombia, so you’re probably remembering that.”

“—they’re wyatt’s partners,” logan continues, and points to the children in front of them. “nicola’s oldest, she’s fourteen. then there’s wesley, who goes by wes, he’s twelve. is their dad going to be there?” he asks virgil.

“no, he’s off with his girlfriend,” virgil says, and scowls a little. patton thinks he's clearly about to say good riddance—he isn’t particularly a fan of lexa’s first husband. none of the adults are, really, but none of them ever breathed a word about it in front of the kids.

“all right, so i don’t have to find a picture of him,” logan says. “then there’s elizabeth who goes by ellie, eight, and abigail who goes by abby, five.”

roman mumbles names under his breath, tapping each of their photos, before he adjusts the picture. “right. so, essie.”

“you know annabelle, her wife,” logan says, pointing to the black woman with her arm slung over essie’s shoulders. “they were foster parents for a time, so they adopted michael who goes by mike or mikey, he’s twelve, and his sister sophia. she’s seven. and they also adopted theodore who goes by teddy, he’s eight—”

“—nine,” virgil corrects, “his birthday was last month—”

“right, he’s nine, they adopted him three years ago.”

more repetition of names to himself, and then roman adjusts the photo.

“silas,” he prompts.

“his wife, moira,” logan says, pointing to the redhead beside him. “and the twins, emma and devon, they’re ten.”

“they just had a baby in august, too,” virgil says. “meredith junior, but they’re calling her red, for now, so that no one confuses her and my mom. you can guess why, it’s pretty obvious she’s taking after moira already. it’ll be easy to spot her, she’s the only baby.”

“and freddie,” isadora says, craning her neck to look at the photo. “how long has it been since she’s come back for christmas?”

“at least a couple years just for christmas, but she’s visited a couple times,” virgil says. “still, it’ll be nice to see her and ryu and the kids.”

“akira who goes by kira, and nikko,” logan provides for roman. “they’re twins, age six. and sayuri, but she goes by lily sometimes—”

“how’d that happen?” roman says, looking to virgil for help.

“sayuri means ‘lily,’” virgil says. “‘little lily,’ i think, but i can’t remember the exact translation. she’s three.”

“and—where do they live?” roman says.

“tokyo,” patton says, twisting to look at virgil. “they moved last year, didn’t they?”

“that’s right,” virgil confirms. “they lived in kyoto for a while, but freddie got a pretty good job offer, so. tokyo it is.”

“and then there’s us,” logan says. “i assume you don’t need a photo, name, or age breakdown for any of us.”

roman snorts, and says, “no, i guess i not.” he blows out a breath, before he scrolls back over, and says, “right, okay. remind me what everyone’s jobs are?”

and so the rest of the car ride passes, recalling the last times they’ve all seen various members of the danes family and passing on stories of visits past.

it’s about to be a marathon of a christmas.

⁂

by the time they’re pulling up to the danes’ house—windows down, because the elder danes’ live in a much warmer state and everyone seemed to have a simultaneous, unspoken agreement on the need to thaw from the brutally cold and snowy winter they’d been having so far—virgil’s leg is bouncing in excitement, and patton reaches across to put a hand on virgil’s, smiling at him.

“are we the last ones getting here?” he asks.

virgil nods his head. “miraculously, even wyatt and adam’s weird hours have lucked out, but adam’s exact words were don’t hold your breath—”

“of course, of course,” patton murmurs, because he probably should have guessed the orthopedic surgeon and the spinal surgeon would have some funky hours.

“—but i think everyone should be here? at least i didn’t hear that they got delayed, so.”

“please tell me we’re almost there,” roman groans.

“we’ll get there when we get there!” virgil and patton say simultaneously, and they both laugh at each other quoting the incredibles as roman groans louder.

patton’s glad to have the brief distraction of a pixar reference; as they’ve gotten nearer and nearer to the danes’ house, he’s felt a knot in his stomach grow bigger and bigger.

he’s been spending holidays with the danes’ since logan was born, usually seeing at least one of them once a year—christmases, easters, family get togethers, he and logan have tagged along for years and years. 

he has a feeling that virgil and his parents would argue with the phrasing of tagged along, but he can’t help it—even if he knows he’s uncle patton to all the kids, and he knows logan refers to all the various danes progeny as his cousins, and he knows he and logan have long since received the food-based nicknames everyone in the family receives upon being born in and growing up in the family and at marriage, but—

well. he can’t help it, sometimes.

but now, he isn’t just tagging along. he’s the latest romantic partner in the family. he has started dating their youngest son, their baby brother, their beloved bachelor uncle. 

he can’t help but wonder if it’ll be like an entirely new dynamic. because he’s seen the way the latest romantic partners are introduced—he’s long since gotten used to the danes’ fond squabbling with each other, but it turns into a whole new level of teasing when they bring along a date.

“we are,” logan says, and points. “there it is.”

virgil examines the number of cars—he probably should have expected the full driveway—and pulls over to park on the side of the road, roman immediately demanding that either logan or his mother get out of the car right now or else he will crawl over them—

virgil and patton’s eyes meet, and patton smiles at him before they both turn to open their own car doors, roman getting out of the car hot on logan’s heels.

and then the danes’ front door opens, light spilling onto the lawn, and children barrel out of the house, almost all of them yelling at the top of their lungs, and virgil says “oof!” as he’s plowed into by three little girls, clinging at his legs, and virgil immediately swings the nearest up into his arms.

“oh, hello, everyone!” virgil says, beaming, looking years younger as ellie clings to his neck, and patton grins at him even as abby notices he has a free set of arms and immediately demands a hug, and patton can’t help but oblige, lifting her up onto his hip, distantly pleased that he still can carry her, because goodness, she’s gotten so tall!

“girls!” someone at the door calls, and patton looks up at lexa in the doorway with a grin. “let your uncles get inside before you tackle them, please!”

“aw, mom!” ellie grumbles, even as virgil’s setting her down and grinning apologetically at lexa, a hand resting on sophia’s hair.

“sorry, lex!” virgil calls, and pats ellie on the shoulder, murmuring something quietly to ellie and sophia ear that makes them both grin, brown eyes sparkling; patton follows his lead, setting abby down.

“uncle patty—” she begins to whine.

“i know, i know,” he says, crouching down to tug lightly at her braided dirty blonde hair, to make her giggle. “but, tell you what. if you listen to your mom, how about you and me sneak some cookies from your grandma, huh?”

abby brightens, and immediately rushes off, right on her sister’s and cousin’s heels. 

“do you need any help?” adam says, his head popping out from behind lexa.

“no, we’re all right, thanks!” roman calls, isadora already shutting the trunk, all of their bags unloaded and just waiting to be carried inside—patton doubles back for his, but virgil’s already swinging his bag over his shoulder before patton can do anything about it.

“i could—” patton begins, but virgil leans down and kisses him before he can say anything about it. virgil grins even wider when patton just blinks at him, half-forgetting what he was saying.

“i got it,” virgil says reassuringly, “honestly, we’re gonna need someone to open the door, so,” and patton huffs.

“fine,” he grumbles, pretending to be put out, as the part of him that was raised with things like gentlemen should open the door for you, and carry things that are heavy, and care for you in general is sending butterflies fluttering in his tummy. because, one, virgil is being a gentleman, but also, patton has an opportunity to be a gentleman.

the things that give him gender euphoria are so weird, honestly.

but patton trots ahead and opens the door for virgil (and his son, and isadora, and roman) and is nearly bowled over by a wave of noise.

the sound of about twenty-four people all calling hello to their brother slash in-law and his weird little accrued pool of family all calling their hellos back tends to do that, patton guesses.

but once everyone’s funneled their way through the door, patton tries to close it; before he’s even fully shut the door behind them, though, abby’s clinging to his leg, grinning up at him.

“cookies now?” she asks.

patton tousles her hair. “gotta set up our alibi, squirt. we’re doing this secretly. it’s a mission.”

abby’s eyes brighten. “like spies?”

“exactly like spies,” patton says, in a hushed tone as if he’s being very quiet and secretive, as if he isn’t fully aware that her mother is keeping an eye on them and folding her lip under her teeth to keep from laughing, even as she’s hugging virgil hello.

abby scuttles off, though, as one of her other parents approaches to give patton a friendly, one-armed hug, seeming to fear the potential of revealing their secret mission.

“hey, patton,” adam says easily. “good to see you’re recovered from the pneumonia, congrats on romancing virgil,” patton blinks rapidly and attempts to come up with a response to that, but adam’s already continuing, “and try to keep her from taking too many, yeah? she’s already been spoiled rotten by her gramps today.”

“can do,” patton says, and so begins the shuffle around the room of saying hello to everyone; the kids are all in one section, already, seemingly preoccupied by various board games, but nicola’s unfolded herself from the group to go up to logan already; the pair of them are closest in age, and they’re also quite the pair of brainiacs, so they’ve been close ever since lexa and the kids came to the first family gathering years ago.

“i despise operator algebra,” she’s telling him.

“well, good thing you aren’t planning on going into quantum field theory, then,” logan responds, and patton loses the plot of that conversation because he’s nearly bumped off his feet.

“sorry!” freddie squeaks, red high in her pale cheeks and a glass of meredith’s near-lethal spiked eggnog in her hand; he suspects it to be the culprit for any uncharacteristic clumsiness and he pulls her into a hug even as he’s laughing out forgiveness.

“heard about you and virgil,” freddie says, “finally.”

“oh—um,” patton stammers, trying his hardest not to blush.

“thrilled to have you, really,” freddie says, bumping into him again, this time purposefully. “and, hey! heard you got sick, you’re all better now, right?”

“right,” he says, then, curiously, “um, how was the trip?” 

“have you ever had to handle six-year-old twins on a trans-pacific trip?” she says, and patton winces in sympathy; as polite as the twins are, being raised with the japanese code of etiquette, they are still freddie’s kids, and therefore also incredibly rambunctious.

“my condolences,” patton tells her, then, to her husband who’s hovering silently over her shoulder, he attempts to get his way through saying long time no see in japanese to ryu, who’s been trying to teach them all conversational bits of japanese for years (mostly because they’d all insisted; they did the same to lexa, too. meredith’s parents had learned to greet mark’s family in their native italian, so it had become something of a family tradition to learn at least a little of the language of their spouse.)

“ohisashiburi desu,” ryu enunciates for him, and patton groans. 

“i thought i had it this time!”

“you were close,” ryu says, which patton thinks is mostly out of politeness, but he’ll accept it anyways. “sayuri, say hello!”

he glances down, then, in time to notice a three-year-old clinging to ryu’s pantleg, just barely peeking out from behind him, the most visible thing being her near-black eyes, shiny and wide.

sayuri ducks out from behind ryu to bow to patton.

“and hello to you too!” patton says, keeping his voice as soft and friendly as he can.

sayuri looks up at ryu, who nods in approval, murmuring something to her in japanese, and she scampers back behind him, clinging once again to his pant leg.

“sorry,” freddie says, not sounding very sorry at all. “lily’s the shy one.”

“oh, it’s all right,” patton says. “it must have been a big day for her, traveling and seeing everyone again and all.”

“that it is,” freddie says, then, to ryu, “d’you think she needs a nap?”

patton takes that as his cue to resume greeting everyone else; he ducks briefly into the kitchen (where abby is, very unsubtly, eyeing the platter of cookies on the counter) and can’t help but coo at the sight that greets him.

“aw, hello,” he murmurs. 

moira, her red hair pulled back into a ponytail and a smidge frizzy, looking haggard in a way that only parents to babies ever seem to look, smiles up at him. “hi, patton.”

“hi, patton,” silas echoes awkwardly, from where he’s washing dishes at the sink.

“hi, silas, hi moira,” he says; usually, he’d be all caught up in the amount of fondness he has for moira, distinctly unbalanced in comparison to his relationship with silas, which is still a touch thorny, even after all this time, but, well. there’s a new member of the family to introduce himself to. 

“this must be meredith junior!”

meredith junior is preoccupied with drinking from a bottle, and does not respond to him, her eyes half-lidded and sleepy.

“that she is,” moira says proudly. 

“oh, she’s beautiful,” patton says warmly, looking at her and feeling all warm and happy because Baby Feelings, and it reminds him of logan when he was at that age; meredith junior (red, he remembers virgil saying) is also a small baby, like logan was, her hair downy and just as red as her mother’s. 

moira smiles at her. “yeah, she is. you wanna hold her later?”

“later,” patton repeats, putting up his hands. “i know how important feeding time is. i was just ducking in to say hi, get a drink,” he directs a wink at abby, who attempts to wink back at him, but she hasn’t really gotten the hang of that yet and so she just blinks at him with extra emphasis.

“eggnog’s in the fridge,” silas mutters. “solo cups should have a sharpie next to it, for names.”

“thanks, silas,” patton says, and ducks around him; he ends up pouring himself a bit of cranberry punch, instead, and obligingly writes PATTON on his cup in large letters. then, with a level of slightly overexaggerated sneakiness that goes unnoticed by moira, preoccupied with the baby, and silas, preoccupied with the dishes, patton snatches a stack of ginger snaps, which are just as good now as they were sixteen years ago. abby jumps up and down, pressing her hands over her mouth to keep from making any noise. 

“well, i’m out of your hair.”

“we’re talking later!” moira calls after him, “i’m thrilled, i want to hear all about you and virgil!”

patton tries his very hardest not to blush, and ducks out of the kitchen instead. he splits the cookies in half, handing the other half to abby.

“thanks, uncle patty!”

“you’re welcome,” patton says. “hey, go give one to your sister, okay?”

“okay!” she says, and speeds off across the room. patton spies her handing a cookie to ellie and briefly tugging at nicola’s jeans to get her attention, giving her one too, and patton smiles after her, before he turns to scan the rest of the room for people he hasn’t said hi to yet.

he is immediately face-to-face with essie and annabelle, who beam at him in unison.

“patton!”

“annabelle, essie!” patton says, hugging the pair of them. “it’s great to see you!”

“great to see you too!” essie says. “we’ll have to get together sometime soon, you and virgil and us—”

“—we can do a double-date!” annabelle adds excitedly.

“—we can come to you, or you can catch the train down to us,” essie continues. 

“oh—” patton says, a little flustered. “um—good! that’s good! that sounds—”

“good?” annabelle says, grinning, clearly very close to laughing at him.

looking for something in the room to change the subject, he glances around and notices, for the first time, two missing members of the family.

“where’s mark and meredith?”

“oh, mom ran out to the corner store for something, i think dad’s on the porch showing off the grill he got for the neighbors,” essie says dismissively, before she reaches over to squeeze his arm. “seriously. so thrilled for the pair of you, we have to do dinner soon.”

“sounds good,” patton says honestly, because it does; getting together with the pair of them, plus mikey, teddy, and sophia, sounds really good.

“i’m gonna go say hi to the kids,” he adds.

“okay!” essie says.

“we’ll catch up later,” annabelle says. it only sounds a little bit like a threat.

he doesn’t even really need to step too far to encounter the kids corner.

“hi, kids!” he says.

“hi, uncle patton,” the kids all drone, not tearing their eyes away; it seems the other board games have fallen to the wayside, the lot of them watching what seems to be the main event with bated breath.

“hello, patton,” wyatt echoes serenely, a pair of tweezers in hand as he observes the operation board. “i congratulate your immune system on its strength in overcoming the pneumococcal pneumonia, and i congratulate you on entering courtship with my brother.”

patton fails, this time, in trying not to blush, which probably wouldn’t be seen by any of the kids, anyways—“c’mon, uncle wyatt!” teddy urges from the sidelines—and wyatt flawlessly maneuvers the tweezers, and very slowly, very carefully, removes the wishbone without bumping any of the walls, and half the kids groan.

“i should have known better than to start this,” wes mutters under his breath, accepting the tweezers from his stepfather. “hi, uncle patton.”

“hiya, wes,” patton says, amused; at least once a year, someone challenged either of the surgeons in the family to a game of operation, and it always ended up with a crowd gathered around like this. “doing okay so far?”

“i’ve buzzed twice,” wes sighs, and squints at the card. “oh, great. i’ve got the funny bone. okay—”

he readjusts his grip, and patton takes a few steps back, so as to not distract him any more than he needs to be distracted, taking a second to look in on nicola and logan—who are deep into conversation about something called hermitian adjoint with excited expressions on their faces, and roman looks as confused as patton feels—before someone taps him on the shoulder.

“doing okay?”

patton turns to smile up at virgil.

“doing fine,” he promises, and sets his cup down on the nearest surface so he can reach out to correct virgil’s collar. “have you said hi to everyone?”

“yeah, just about,” virgil says, then, “um, they haven’t said anything to you about—?”

“oh, y’know,” patton says with a jerk of his head. “moira says she’s thrilled, essie wants to get all together for dinner, freddie said finally, wyatt congratulated the strength of my immune system and my success in courting you, et cetera, et cetera.”

virgil snorts, ducking his head and rubbing sheepishly at the nape of his neck. “guess i probably should’ve warned you ‘bout that, huh?”

“nah, i knew it’d probably happen,” he teases. “you’re forgetting i was at dinner when freddie brought the news of her elopement and the brand-new husband none of us had ever heard of before.”

“still can’t believe she did that,” virgil says with a disbelieving shake of his head.

patton laughs a little, too, before he says, “i was expecting it a little, i guess—i mean, you’ve got four older siblings, i was a little nervous there’d probably be a bit of hazing to go through, now that i’m a boyfriend.”

“you didn’t mention that,” virgil says with a frown. “i can tell them to lay off, if you—”

patton waves him off, even as he still feels the tight knot in his stomach.

“it’s okay,” he says, and it is okay, it’s just nerve-wracking, “i’ve gotten through the first of it, it’s okay. just, y’know. i’m a little nervous to talk to your parents, i guess.”

“they love you,” virgil says immediately. “they’re delighted about this, i promise, they told me so.”

“virge?”

“yeah?” he asks, a protective expression still on his face. patton takes both his hands in his own, looking up at him with a very serious expression on his face.

“remember your siblings teasing me when you have to sit through an emily-and-richard dinner,” he says, “and then we can say we’re nearly even.”

virgil’s lip quirks up. “nearly?”

“well,” patton says, “you’re probably gonna have to go to a few friday night dinners, so i’m definitely gonna owe you for that more than you owe me for this.”

virgil grimaces at the mention of friday night dinners looming in his future like the ghost of christmas yet to come.

“think happy thoughts?” patton offers, with an apologetic grin on his face.

“what thought is happy enough to get me through that?”

patton pretends to think about it, tilting his head back and forth, before he offers in a faux-innocent tone, “egging their car on easter?”

a slightly goofy grin breaks out on virgil’s face, and patton laughs at the sight of it. 

“well, if i must,” virgil says. “might even have to refresh that memory with a repeat performance.”

“don’t you dare,” patton says, in a tone entirely too sappy for what he’s saying.

“or what?” virgil says, grinning down at him, and he’s so stinkin’ cute that patton can’t help but rise onto his tippy toes to kiss the grin right off his face.

their lips barely brush before the hollering starts—there’s a wolf-whistle in there somewhere, but mostly things along the line of “EW, uncle VIRGIL, kissing is GROSS,” and “hey, hey, hands off my baby brother!”—and patton breaks away from virgil with a nervous giggle, blushing, fully aware that if most of the people in the room weren’t looking at him before, they certainly were now. patton finds himself unable to meet anyone’s eyes.

“oh, c’mon,” freddie says, grinning, sayuri in her arms and looking quite close to nodding off to sleep, “it’s about time, now that they’re dating.”

“finally,” essie adds, not quite under her breath, then—

“wait.”

patton turns, then, to where the kids have gathered in the corner; mikey, essie and annabelle’s oldest son, is staring at them with large brown eyes.

“wait,” mikey repeats, “what do you mean, now they’re dating?”

“you weren’t dating before?” his brother teddy says, sounding equal parts confused and indignant.

“no, we weren’t dating before,” virgil says. “but we—we are. now. so.”

teddy still looks puzzled.

“well, we loved each other for a very long time,” patton explains, because for as smart as all the kids are, teddy is nine years old, and therefore not quite fully aware of the complexities of adult relationships, “and we told each other that recently. so. now we’re dating, but we’ve loved each other for much longer.”

“well, that’s okay then,” teddy decides, and patton can’t help but snort.

anyone still staring at the pair of them gets distracted by the sound of a door stuck in its lock, before it suddenly bursts open, bringing with it a rush of warm outdoor air and the clunking of a cane hitting the hardwood.

“damn door keeps sticking,” mark grumbles under his breath, looking up and taking a moment to scan the room before his eyes brighten. “virgil! when did you sneak in, bunny?”

meredith pokes her head around his shoulder, eyes bright; she's carrying a shopping bag in one arm that emma and devon, silas' girls, scuttle up and take off her hands, ferrying it to the kitchen for her.

"ten or so minutes ago," virgil says, crossing the room, grinning; unspoken, both patton and logan fall into step behind virgil, approaching the danes family patriarch and matriarch together.

mark is already pulling his youngest son into a hug, squeezing virgil tight, and patton can't help but smile at the way virgil grips his father just as tightly; mark's had a bit of trouble with his health over the past couple years—primarily struggling with his knee, which had been replaced a month before thanksgiving this year—and patton knows it had scared him, at the time, and it made him all the more appreciative of the time he gets to spend with his father. 

"good to see you, son," mark says warmly, patting virgil's back roughly a couple times for emphasis.

"snap," meredith says warmly, and patton grins—the ginger snaps he ate his weight in at the first danes christmas celebrations he'd ever attended have become his nickname namesake—before he approaches and pulls her into a hug.

"welcome," meredith says, pulling away, her blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "and congratulations are in order, aren't they?"

patton flushes, but before she can tease him anymore, mark's eyes land on logan.

"god, look at you!" mark says. "you're tall! how much have you grown? a foot? more? what on earth are you feeding him, virgil?" mark asks, turning to him, and virgil puts his hands up, smirking.

"i think i've grown four and a half inches, since the last time i saw you," logan says, before he steps forward and hugs mark, adding quietly, "it's good to see you, nonno."

patton's smile widens at that. emily and richard have always been grandma and grandpa, to logan, and maria, the previous manager at the inn who had taken in patton and logan, has been nana, but mark and meredith have always been nonno and nonna; grandpa and grandma in italian, where mark's family had emigrated from before mark was born.

"and it's good to see you, jammy," mark says, equally warmly, before he draws back, making eye contact with logan, and not having to tilt his head downwards anymore; they're almost on the same level now. "goodness. it'll take some time to get used to that. hit your growth spurt with a vengeance then, just like your dad—"

and then mark's eyes fall to patton, and patton smiles a little nervously, twisting his fingers together.

"hi, mark."

something in mark's eyes go soft, and he steps forward to hug patton just as tightly as he had hugged virgil and logan, to hold patton just as close, and patton isn't sure why his eyes are suddenly stinging, but they are, and he squeezes them shut and takes in a deep breath as he hugs mark back.

"we're overjoyed," mark says quietly, and draws back to look at patton, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes growing more pronounced with his smile. "oh, patton, we're so thrilled for the pair of you, truly we are. you've always been part of the family, but now—well," he says, and looks between virgil and patton.

"the pair of you, making each other happy," meredith says. "it's everything a mother could want for her boys."

patton struggles to swallow, and he can only smile guilelessly at them both as he waits for the lump in his throat to pass.

"now, we heard about your health scare after thanksgiving," mark says, frowning. "you're too young for such things. you're all better now, aren't you? all fixed up?"

"doctor says i am a-okay," patton manages to croak out.

"wonderful," meredith says, "and no more of any of that."

"you should remain hale and hearty, or else," mark adds, finishing her sentence; they've been married for so long, it's almost like they've become symbiotic.

"or else what?" patton says, achieving something close to his normal tone and not sounding like he's about to cry tears of happiness anymore.

"or else i'll set my wife on you," he says, before he claps logan on the back. "now, i hear that you have brought your boyfriend to meet the family!"

"you've met," logan says, beginning to blush, but he goes to get roman anyways; nicola coos "oooh," after the pair of them with all the teasing in her tone that one would expect from a younger cousin.

roman holds logan's hand as they approach.

"sir, ma'am," roman says respectfully, the picture of a proper young man; isadora looks on approvingly from where she's holed up in a corner with ryu, freddie, and a now-sleeping sayuri.

"this is roman prince, nonna, nonno," logan says, squeezing roman's hand tight and leaning into his side. "i love him very much."

mark's smile goes even softer at that; patton leans his head on virgil's shoulder, his cheeks aching.

"aw, shucks, specs," roman says, grinning at logan, "i love you very much too."

"well," mark says gently. "what grandparent doesn't like to hear that? we are very happy to have you and your mother, roman."

"come and sit," meredith says eagerly. "indulge two old crones in some conversation; i hear you want to take after your mother and go into ballet?"

and so mark, meredith, logan, and roman settle on the couch, logan still clinging to roman's hand and looking the most outwardly fond that patton has ever seen him look. it's enough to have the lump in his throat come roaring back with a vengeance.

virgil touches his shoulder, a silent question—you all right?

patton smiles at him and nods, before someone taps him on the arm, and he looks up.

"spouses club meeting," annabelle says, hooking her arm through his.

"what?" patton says.

"spouses club meeting," lexa repeats.

"i'm—i'm not a," patton says, blushing. he isn't the only one—he sees virgil going red, too. they've been dating for barely a couple weeks, that's very far off from—well—

"i'm not a spouse either, technically," lexa points out, "but that's what we're calling it anyways. virgil, we're stealing your boyfriend."

"do i have a choice in the matter?"

"nope!" lexa says cheerfully. "you, patton sanders, have gossip for us."

"goss—" patton repeats, frowning, before he looks to virgil. "oh—oh! lex, it isn't gossip, really—"

"not gossip, sure," annabelle scoffs. "it's only been ten years, we're getting the story—"

"steal him," virgil says immediately.

"traitor," patton cries out, softly enough so that it doesn't attract the attention of anyone else in the room; he'd gotten enough of that when he'd tried to kiss virgil.

"you aren't automatically immune, you've got siblings to deal with," annabelle tells virgil sweetly, and laughs when virgil pulls a face, suddenly looking younger, like the man in his early twenties that he had been their first christmas all together like this.

and so patton is tugged off into the kitchen, where adam, lexa, annabelle, moira, and ryu all sit, ready to hear the story of how they got together, and patton knows that the rest of their trip will be spent like this—being pulled off into subgroups, whether it be spouses, or kids, or siblings, or other arbitrary combinations that would happen on the fly. patton knows he'll spend the rest of the trip eating his weight in ginger snaps, and coming up with fun activities for the kids, and having a million different conversations with everyone, trying to organize how they'll be able to gather in smaller groups during the new year, and— 

—and patton knows he's in for a very chaotic, very merry christmas.

[perrydowning]

They also played Grogu eating the eggs of the frog lady for laughs. It's almost as if they're spitefully and intentionally driving us away from the franchise.

That I land squarely at the feet of of men who have either never gone through attempting to create a pregnancy with their spouse or never bothered to listen to the gestating partner. 

This slides awfully close to the whole pro/anti-choice divide, which is why they never should have done it. No matter how you personally feel about it, it’s disrespectful, but I guess if caviar is something in your world, it was freakin’ hilarious. “Look at Baby Yoda! He’s such a gourmand!”

It’s easy for me, child of a third generation matriarchy, to boil it all down to men vs. women, but it’s just so much more complicated. Where I’ve landed is that the open folks, regardless of gender, listen to the point of view of their partner. Sure, statistically, most of those people happen to be women, but that doesn’t mean men can’t get there or already are there. Oof, I really want to unpack gender fluid/opting out of gender friends, but I’m gonna go with the 90% solution here. Just know that I think gender is bullshit and that’s how we roll in my house.

Ultimately, it is yet another indication that the broader the voice in the writing room, the more emotionally true the tale.

Thank you so much for reaching out, Anon. I kinda need it and it means more than I can sum up in words.

<3

[ask-beacons-finest]

Ruby, sitting on the top of the Mantle walls, overlooking the vast arctic desert: Told you I was still the fastest.

Harriet, plopping down beside her, panting a little: Yeah, sure...whatever, kid.

Ruby, laughing a little: Still too proud to admit it, huh?

Harriet, a smile cracking on her face: Always will be.

Ruby, nodding: Heh, of course. Of course.

Harriet, after minutes of silence: So, what's the reason you're all back?

Ruby, her eyes dropping to her feet dangling over the edge of the wall, putting a hand to her stomach: I told them all I'm ready to expand our family a little bit more.

Harriet, looking over, a bit surprised: You?

Ruby, nodding: Yeah. Me.

Harriet, after a few more minutes of silence: You nervous?

Ruby, unable to contain a sharp laugh, shaking her head: Like you wouldn't believe.

Harriet, giving a friendly punch to Ruby's shoulder: Well, hell, if anyone can do it, it's you, kid.

Ruby, a small smile on her face, rubbing her arm a little: Yeah, thanks. I hope you're right.

Ruby, after yet more silence: What about you? Have you ever...I dunno, found someone? Thought about settling down?

Harriet, scoffs, but turns her head a bit away from Ruby: No I-...well, I don't know. Maybe. I thought I did, but. I don't know.

Ruby, raising an eyebrow: Really? You? Harriet Bree? Afraid of something?

Harriet, spinning her head round to face Ruby, defensively: The hell makes you think I'm afraid!?

Ruby, with a smug expression of victory: That.

Harriet, realizing her outburst proved Ruby's point, groans and collapses backwards, staring into the sky: Yeah. I guess I am. I had what was the start of a relationship a bit ago, but I guess the commitment scared me. So I did what I do best, run.

Ruby, chuckling, picking up a loose bolt from her side and flicks it off the wall, watching it fall towards the icy ground below: Reminds me of Blake.

Harriet, her face scrunching up: Eugh. Don't say I remind you and of any of you kids.

Ruby, leaning back to join Harriet in staring at the sky: We haven't been kids for a long, long time. Beacon falling changed that.

Harriet, frowning: Right. Sorry.

Ruby: S'alright.

Harriet, after a while: So, how did you handle it?

Ruby: Beacon falling?

Harriet: Wha-? No, no no no. Getting into a relationship. Getting married. All that. I'm sure if I can get advice from someone with three spouses I can manage to get at the very least one spouse.

Ruby, scowling in disgust: Two. Two spouses. Yang's still my sister you know.

Harriet, awkwardly clearing her throat: R-Right. I was just...fucking with you...totally didn't forget.

Ruby, laughing a little: Yeah yeah. Sure. And I...don't really know to be honest, if you told me, when we first ever met, that I'd be in a loving marriage with my teammates...and, Gods, especially that we have five-errr-six, kids. With more on the way. I'd probably have fought you sooner.

Harriet, nodding: Well, then I'd have kicked your ass, since you hadn't trained under us yet. But continue.

Ruby, giving a friendly slap to Harriet's arm: But yeah. I'd be dumbfounded. I thought maybe if anyone I'd end up with Jaune.

Harriet, laughing: Really???

Ruby, completely serious, nodding with a smile: Yeah. We even dated for a little bit, just a bit. But it didn't work for either of us and we moved on. I still love him to death obviously, but now we're both with better matches.

Harriet, her laughter subsiding, a more melancholy look on her face: Ah...yeah, I guess he's with a better match too...

Ruby, glancing over: Huh? Who? Jaune?

Harriet, shaking her head: No. Nobody. It's fine.

Ruby, looking at Harriet for a moment, before turning her head back towards the sky: Right, of course. It's never too late to find someone you know. You're a good person Harriet, just keep that in mind. Your better match will come, I'm sure of it, might just take some effort on your part.

Harriet, nodding, a sad smile on her face: Thanks, Ruby.

Ruby, with a smile on her own face: No problem.

Harriet, sternly: But imply that I don't put one-hundred and ten percent effort in everything I do again and I'll throw you over this wall, you hear me, kid?

Ruby, laughing: Of course, of course.

Ruby, yawning and sitting upright after about an hour, stretching and cracking her back: Ahhh. Ow. Laying on uncomfortable metal isn't as easy as it used to be. Can't believe I used to he able to sleep anywhere.

Harriet, also sitting up, also cracking: Ah! Damn...yeah, you're right. We should find a more old-person-friendly spot.

Ruby, standing up, putting a hand out to help Harriet up: I'll meet you next week at the retirement home then?

Harriet, taking Ruby's hand and pulls herself to her feet while laughing: Like hell.

Ruby, checking her scroll: Ah shit...I guess "Running a race with an old friend without telling anyone, and thus abandoning them with the kids and your luggage," was a bad idea. I'm definitely sleeping outside tonight...

Harriet, checking her own scroll: Oof...yeah. Looks like I'm in for it too.

Ruby, nodding her head in the direction of the city: First one to the Atlas transports wins?

Harriet, shaking her head: Nah, I'd rather we get chewed out in separate locations. Might be enough anger to open a hole in the fabric of the universe if it happens at the same place.

Ruby, whining: Uggggh, you're really not helping my confidence here...but hey.

Ruby, holding up a hand, which Harriet grabs onto: Good to see you.

Harriet, nodding, a smile on her face: Good to see you too, ki-...Ruby. Now get out out of here, there might be hope for you yet.

Harriet, standing atop the Mantle wall as a flurry of rose petals blast around her, Ruby's laughter disappearing along with a red blur: ...

Harriet, turning to face the icy landscape outside the city, tapping her scroll a few times before bringing it to her ear: ...hey, hey. Yeah it's Harriet. Hey I was just wondering if maybe uhh...like...you wanted to grab a drink? Tonight?

[amenomiko]

For the smut, could I request MC and Nobunaga trying to make another child after their son asks for a sibling? Quiz answers: 1 a 2 b 3 b

Mom, I Want A New Sibling

Pairing : IkeSen Nobunaga x MC

Rated : M (Smut)

Type : One Shot

👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶👶

"I want a new sibling, mother."

MC and Nobunaga blink at the same time. Except Nobunaga's surprised look were changed into a smirk when his wife exchange a glance with him.

Their first son come into their room, wanted to discuss about something and when they thought it was something serious....

It's about requesting for a new sibling.

"I want it to be a baby sister."

And it was demanding. Specific too.

"It's about time for me to have my own little princess for me to spend time with since.." A frustrated sigh left him when he look at his father. "Because certain someone want my mother all to himself. Besides, I have too many brothers already. Therefore, all of us has discussed and we want a baby sister."

"Hoooh. That is a very accurate and the best reason it is." He winced a bit as his wife jabbed him on his waist. "...Is it impossible, mother?"

"Well-"

It's not that they didn't do it. They do. Obviously. They always wanted a little princess themselves, but whenever they want to do it or ALMOST reaching for its peak..

3 months ago

"Mmmh Anata..! Yes, yes..! Cum inside me..!"

"Heh, you will get pregnant you know?"

"Nnnh who says that he wanted a baby princess?"

He chuckled as he buried his head into her neck, grunting. "Mmf- I'm almost-""Ah, ah..! Anata--"

"ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF UESUGI CLAN!"

Both of them froze to the sound of the castle guard. "..Ah, you have a council with him right?"

"....Damn it."

2 months before

"Anata..! Unnh that feels good..! It's been a while since you cum inside me..!"

"Blame the constant war council..! Now it is over..!" He groaned, spreading her legs further. "..I'm going to bury it deep inside you..! Be prepared for it..!"

"Nnh yes, yes,..! Anata..!"

A sound of crying boy echoed the hallways. It's one of their boys. "Oh no..! He must have another nightmare again.""Wait, just a little bit more..!""But-"

The cry goes louder and Nobunaga's head were pushed aside. "Oof! MC..!"

2 weeks before

She moaned as he grope her breast from behind before snaking his hand into the insides of her yukata. "There's no war council today and the boys are playing outside."

She hummed to his sneaky smile, sharing a smooch of one and two, while her hand rub against his rising bulge. "..I heard that Hideyoshi going to bring them to town and might explore the other parts for their lessons today." She purred. "Perfect timing too, I think I am.." She giggled when they nuzzle their nose together. "..What is it?" He grinned, knowing what she's going to say but still wait for her to say it for the thrills. At that same moment he starts to slide in between of her knees, earning a lustful moan from her. "..able.. To get pregnant if we do it now- mmmnn~"

They kissed and kissed, dancing their tongue in the heat of it. "Mmmhh ahh.. Anata.." She hastily pull his obi to undress him. "Oh? Aren't you eager?" He chuckled as he did the same on hers. "We.." She lick his lips, her hands take his fudoshi away and rub him up and down "..don't have time for foreplay, just- unn- enter me quickly." She gasped into the kiss, her other hand rubbing on her wet clit to lube its entrance. "The kids will come home so-"

"Mama."

BAM!!!

Both of them pull away from each other roughly, hitting themselves onto the nearby shelves and table respectively from the strong impact.

Their 3rd son slide the door open, only to find his parents were hissing from their painful head.

1 week before

"Anata.. Kiss me?"

*chu*

"I love you, fireball."

"Hmm I love you mor-- aaaaahhh!!"

She whined when Nobunaga brush his hand on the back of her head. "Ow- ow-..!""I-I'm sorry." Looks like the previous effect of 2 weeks ago is still there. "It's okay, I should've told you. Mm?" She smiled, pointing to her lips. "I want to kiss~~" Then when she push him gently, it was his turn to hiss into the pain.

His head is still injured too.

Last night..

He kissed her deeply. Before she could take a short breath, he inserted his tongue to dance with hers. "Nnn.! Anata..! Listen to me..! Mmf- ah..!" He shreds her upper yukata, groping one of her breast as his other hand undo his own obi to pull out his throbbing length. "Anata..! Wai- AAAAHHH!!" He had shoved it into her, groaning to the tightness around his dick. He licked his lips, spread her legs apart for a better view to their sex. "We don't have time anymore- nnnh-"

"Nobunaga-sama, I have a report--"

Both: WHAT NOW???

---

A long sigh left her and it took Nobunaga's attention clearly. "You really wanted a princess huh?" She pouts at her husband, "Well.. don't you?"

"Of course. It will be nice to see a smaller version of you running around in the castle. She will be the most beautiful angel and anyone who wanted her hand for marriage.. Hmh." He grinned. "As if it will be that easy."

'He already think THAT far.' She shakes her head, laughing to her cup. "It will be nice if we could take a short vacation. Just the two of us." He blink at her. "Well," She shrugged. "Wormhole will come for another month.. If it is still there. It would be nice if both of us go to the future without any disturba- why are you grinning like that you are scarying me, Anata."

"As expected of my Lucky Charm. That can be arranged." He chuckled. "How does the future Kyoto looks like?"

He even choose the location himself. Okay, this is easy.

"Fuck..!"

SPLURT!

That was the 3rd time he came inside of her.

"Aaahh.. Anata... more..!" She grind her hips to meet his, eyes is full of ecstacy from the sex. "Nnnh it's not enough..!""MC..!""Ah..!"

She glances at their scattered clothes on the floor, purring to the sound of skin slapping in the room, and back to her husband. "We haven't unpack yet and here you are, moving in and out of me.. Didn't you know that your unh.. th-throbbing dick was so visible under your yukata as we arrived here?" She licked his lips, "..Pervert..".

It was quite hard to give orders in such a short notice. Nobunaga ordered Hideyoshi and the other warlords to take over his castle for 3 months, as well as to take care of their 3 sons when they are away.

He ignored all of Hideyoshi's banters and naggings throughout the process of packing things, sending letters to Sasuke to search for the possible location of wormholes and when they got it they immediately arrange for everything, especially informing their 3 sons about it.

2 of them buys the excuse of "We need to explore and study new village for 3 months together." Except their genius 2nd child. MC forced smile give away everything but thankfully a part of him is like Nobunaga where he convinced the other brothers with "Mom and Dad might bring a huge "Gift" for us. So if we are patient and be good in these 3 months, we will get the present of our dreams." He shrugged.

His mom is blushing, while his father smiled at him with full of pride. "I will make sure it will be possible."

Hideyoshi didn't get it at first but when he does, he is a blushing mess himself. "T-then I wish for a safe journey." He couldn't look at the pair of spouse in the eye.

The moment they have arrived at the future and to the hotel... MC bites her lips to his growing bulge during the check-in process; she feels butterflies in between of her legs from the heat that he radiates from his body when he brush his body against her. Right after the door of their room closed shut, both of them kissed deeply, tugging on each other's hair and undressed each other's clothes--some of it were shredded, especially her underwear.

They have been doing the 4th round now--looks like their sex drive has been growing so much til it could burst. "Mmmmf..! Mmmmnn!!! Nnnn-" Nobunaga pushed her head further and further, and she suck his dick to the base of it. "Nnnh-" He growled as he face fuck her, it's been a while they do this kind of intimacy and it drives them crazy. She dig her nails onto his hips, swallowing all of his cum.

"Mmmf- ah!!"

He pulled out, watching her trying to lick the remaining cum when it spread all over her face. "That's a lot.. Nobunaga.." Some of it fell onto her palm, and he can see her eyes smile to the thickness of his semen. "I can see our daily activities nothing but baby making, hmm?" She lift her chin to her husband, both of their eyes dilated, showing the lust that they have.

"Spread your legs. Let me see it flow out." He grunted.

She positioned her body on the bed, spreading her legs apart to show her pushing the cum out of her clit. "Nobunaga.." She inserted two of her fingers inside, whining to the way he stroke his dick that had gotten hard again. "Come.. Make me pregnant." She pulled out her finger, opening the mouth of her clit. "See? It's throbbing. It wants to kiss your dick."

A low groan is in his throat as he align the head of his dick to her entrance. "With pleasure, fireball..! Nnnhh!!"

She throw her head back, screaming to his instant frantic thrusts. She hissed as he reached her spot, locking her legs all around his waist to shove it deeper inside her. "Oh god..!! I love your dick, Nobunaga..mmmff!!" Both of them kissed and kissed, sharing each other's love until midnight.

The best part of the after sex is when he enters her again when she was sleeping, cumming inside her more until she woke up. When she did, they continued their sex until the morning. It was a pure bliss, and it's almost everyday they did it.

Few months has passed ever since their short yet sweet vacation. Their sons is more than happy as they were blessed (gifted) with

A pair of twin baby sisters.

[angstars]

Let’s add Valkyrie + Leo and Akiomi (if you’re comfortable and the reader is an adult (maybe another teacher or his spouse?)) to the suggestive train!

oof omg this train is getting famous!! its on such high demand, i got so many suggestive positions to fill up too!! might make a special section for it in the master list! thanks for making the request and i hope you enjoyed reading this!

And remember, get calcium!♠

Shu

An upcoming shoot for Valkyrie was set and Shu was cooping himself up in the club room, sewing and making clothes that’re perfect for the theme. He said he didn’t want his creativity to be interrupted, and so you barely had the chance to see him or talk to him, constantly kicking out whoever came by the door.

You found your courage again in one of the evenings, to seek him out for some fresh air and sunlight, and most importantly, his presence.

You knocked on the club rooms’ door, and sighed when you received no reply. As usual, too involved in his own world to notice his surroundings. You excuse yourself into the room, opening the door and closing it behind you to find Shu hunched forward his work desk, doing some final touch ups to what seemed to be a dress.

You found that to be odd, as you thought it was strictly Valkyrie photoshoot; and clearly mademoiselle is not that huge.

You slowly approached him, and thanks to the carpeted floor, he didn’t hear your footsteps all that well either, and flinched in surprise when you tapped his shoulder. He glared at you, unamused by the small unintentional ambush.

“How many times have I told you not to come in and disturb me as I work? You also frightened me there, what if I was doing any sewing work? I could’ve damaged the garments!” He huffed, throwing his usual tantrum about his clothes and efforts, though you guessed in this situation it was warranted, given that working on outfits wasn’t easy, and ruining it now would’ve been rather deadly considering the photoshoot is tomorrow.

“Sorry,” you sheepishly mumbled, bringing your hands forward and intertwining them together nervously.

He stared at you for a solid minute before sighing, standing on his feet. “Actually, it’s good that you’re here, I need to test this uniform.”

He picks it up from where it was laid down and wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards a secluded corner that you can use to change. As you two walked he talked on and on about the efforts and designs he implemented in the dress; describing it’s artistic merits and so forth.

To be honest, all that was white noise, for you simply stared on at the shadows under his eyes, deeply filled with concern at his lack of sleep, sun light exposure and - what frightened you most - his meals.

“Are you even listening?” He snapped. His harsh tone broke you from your thoughts as he glared down at you, “what I’m saying is important.”

“Shu…sorry, I know you’re into this… all of this,” you gestured around the room with your hands then sighed, shaking your head slightly as you faced him again, “but…look at you. Passion isn’t supposed to be ruining your health like this!”

He didn’t see your little outburst coming, but he simply huffed, handing you the dress to change. While he waited for you, arms crossed as he brooded on his chair, he wondered why your scolding earlier bothered him so much. Perhaps there was something underlying under that fit, something that was on your mind that was rendering you ticked.

You emerged from your hiding spot to allow him to appraise the dress in a better light. He walked around you, paying attention to the small details, and you’ve never felt so small. You blushed as he held you close, pulling you by the hand to press you against, and you heard a small chuckle resound from him.

“Aren’t you like a doll? Frail, gentle, pure…exactly like one.” He smiles to himself, proud of his own work, “the dress suits you. I’ve done a good job,”

You only realised it now, but he was dressed in his attire as well, and you couldn’t help but notice how well you two matched.

“Thank you…you look wonderful as well.” You smile shyly, “you look like an orchestra conductor.”

He grins at that compliment, his cheeks undeniably turning a bit rosy. He gripped your hand tighter and began to walk backwards, pulling you along slowly. You’ve basically stroked his ego, who knew if that was a good thing.

He sits down on a chair that he was aiming to sit on from the start, and you tugged on your arm, making you sit on his lap. Your breath hitched in your throat as he practically made you inappropriately straddle him, your heart pumping painfully in your chest at the close proximity. You’ve been so detached from him, you forgot how it feels to be held by him, to be this close to him.

“Talk to me,” he whispered, cupping your cheek and turning your head to make you look at him, as he whisked some hair strands away from your face.

“Oh Shu…you don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” you matched his hushed tone, hands trailing up his chest, “kiss me.”

He smiled coyly, bringing you closer. Your eyes fluttered closed, then snapped open at the sound of the door lock opening. You gasped, turning your head around to gaze at the intruder.

“Aoba.” Shu greeted, though his voice was dangerously low, almost growling. Was he upset at the interruption?

“I-I’m sorry,” the boy faltered, swallowing visibly, “I’m sorry Shu, I just - I wanted to see if you’ve completed the costumes for a test photoshoot.”

“I have,” Shu motions to stand up, and you get off his lap, fixing your dress awkwardly as you avoided eye-contact with the boy who probably heard too much, simply finding interest in staring at your shiny shoes.

As Shu was brought back to work mode, he guided you out of the room to follow Tsumugi to the photoshoot room. You stared at his broad back as you followed, wondering perhaps if he was agitated in the slightest to be seen in that position.

You also forgot to ask him why he made you a dress in the first place…

Mika

“This one, or this one?”

You waved the pink teddy bear in one hand, and the blue teddy bunny in the other, showing them to Mika to see which he preferred. You decided to help Mika with his exercises when it came to designing clothes, starting with bringing in different themed objects with different colours and letting him decide on a certain outfit that matches said object.

Today, you decided to help him in the aspect of creating ‘cute clothes’, using fluffy teddy bears as the medium.

“Nnhh...nnhh..” Mika scrunched his face in thought, eyeing both the plushies in your hand with deep contemplation.

“You don’t have to make weird noises when you think,” You snorted, watching him as he patted his chin with his index finger, still pondering about the choices, and ignoring you completely as he continued to make weird noises.

“Nn! I just can’t decide!” He huffed, rubbing his head with his right hand, and sighed, “I’ll take both!”

“Huh? No! Only one!” You pouted, “you can do the other next time!”

“I just can’t decide on one right now, let me have both!” He argued, reaching for the two toys in your hands and you leaned back to avoid him grabbing them.

“Nuh-uh, it’ll be a mess! Just pick one theme at a time!”

Then it occurred to you than maybe this will be going nowhere, so without warning, you quickly placed the pink teddy bear in front of him on the table.

“Here, you’re working on this one first!”

“Huh? Hey,” Mika whined, pointing at the blue bunny, “what if I decided on that one?”

“Hardly! You wanted both so I just went ahead and put for you the teddy bear, you can use the bunny on the next exercise.” You explained, smiling confidently.

Mika wouldn’t have it however, calling that nonsense and jumping up to grab the blue bunny. He was stubbornly determined to get both of them and work on two designs, he unfortunately just had a hard time conveying what he wanted into proper words, which just caused misunderstandings.

You simply thought he wanted the two teddies for one costume.

You sprung up from your seat when he tried to grab it again, hugging the plush tightly. “Come on, we wasted enough time thinking over which teddy to choose! Just use that one,”

He immediately gets up from his chair, walks around the table and tries to grab the teddy from around you. The two of you continue to be stubborn, as you hug it away from his prying hands and he tries to catch it while standing behind you and leaning forward, trying to grab it from right or left.

He was just so determined to get both!

Pressed against you from behind, leaning slightly forward, you were a giggling fit and wiggling about to release yourself from his grip as he tried to grab your arms and loosen them from the teddy.

You were going to try and duck down under his left arm to run, when he wrapped it around your waist, grinning and laughing softly, feeling rather thrilled from this little childish game. “Gotcha! Nowhere to run!”

“Hey let me go, you’re tickling me!” You protested, trying to reach for his hand to rip it off your stomach.

“Aha!” Mika acts quickly and grabs the teddy from the right, trying to pull it in one go, but it still won’t be released from your iron grip. “Hey, you’ll tear it, just let it go!”

“Go easy then!” You huffed.

Oh how the conversation sounded so wrong out of context. Yuzuru stepped into the room to investigate what was the cause of all the commotion, to freeze at the door when he sees Mika pressed against your curved back.

You two turned to eye him with mortification, turning like statues as you just stood there, not knowing what to say. From his angle, did he even see the teddy bear?

Mika stuttered, and came to speak, when Yuzuru just simply walked backwards, closing the door as he stepped out, not uttering a single word.

Mika groaned, slamming his head on your back, and you were silent, just pressing your lips together in a thin line and nod faintly. Well, that definitely did a dent on your reputation.

Leo

Your boyfriend was humming and scribbling about through his notes, probably going through the composing process of a new song.

You watched him, sitting on one of the desks and swinging your feed as Leo laid down on the floor, papers messily sprawled around him as he wrote his ideas down using colourful crayons. You didn’t really get it much, but it did the job right? Besides, he wouldn’t really be Leo if he wasn’t his eccentric self.

He promised that after he finished, he’d take you out for ice cream. You were anxiously awaiting the moment he was done to get going, and silently prayed that he doesn’t invite his sister or any of his friends along, hoping for some privacy.

Out of no where, Leo jumped up from the floor in a cheer, screaming that “it’s finally complete! I did it! It’s finally ready! Yahoo!”

You laughed at the sudden upbeat behaviour, but you shouldn’t be as surprised, yet it did take you off guard and scared you like a jumpscare. Leo kept jumping, and reached for your hands, pulling you up from your seating position to your feet.

“I did it! I got the perfect song down!” He exclaimed.

You laughed at the cute purity of that statement, “you did it Leo!” You jumped along with him, cheering and laughing together. From an outsiders view, you two must’ve looked like a bunch who lost their mind.

But to him, this moment alone together meant the whole world to him as you two revelled together in sheer joy over something he made from scratch.

You stopped to catch your breathe fast, “so- does that mean we can go get ice cream now?” You grinned, hoping to hear the response you’ve been waiting for.

To your pleasure, he nods his head, “Mhm! As promised, let me just clean up!”

“I’ll help you, it’s faster that way!”

You two began picking up the scattered papers, then stacked them into one pile in your arms. You aligned them well together by tapping them over the table on each side then turned to Leo, handing him the papers.

“All done!” You grinned, placing both your hands on your hips proudly, tilting your head slightly, “ice cream?”

“Ice cream!” He cheered, leaping forward towards you in joy. He must’ve miscalculated the strength he used to launch himself at you, as he knocked you backwards, and you weren’t able to quickly catch your balance due to a chair being in the way, hitting the back of your knees and sending you flying down.

Leo toppled over you, legs hanging on the chair as his weight crushed you down on the floor, impact rendering you both choked up from all words. You shrieked as Leo’s face fell on your chest for a brief moment before he sprung up, lifting his upper half with this arms as his face burnt red.

“I-I’m so sorry!” He apologised louder than necessary, almost screaming the words out as his mind probably exploded on the inside into haywire.

For some reasons beyond you, you burst into a fit of laughter, finding this way too bizarre of a moment, and the sensation that bubbled inside your stomach at chest tickled as he lay atop you.

The moment didn’t last much however unfortunately, as someone was bound to hear the yelling and screaming from outside, Izumi stepped into the room in a rush.

“What’s going on- Ou-sama?!” Izumi screamed, his expression reading sheer horror and disgust, “what on Earth are you doing?! Please tell me this isn’t how you get your inspiration from!”

“No no! I’m innocent!! Gaahh!! I already finished the song!! Sena wait!” Leo tried to scramble up quickly, but couldn’t due to the awkward position of being stuck between your legs thanks to the chair.

You really weren’t a big help in the situation when you were just laughing and squealing when he tried to move.

Akiomi (s/o is an adult + his spouse)

Your husband often times had to rush things and forgot important stuff you’ve packed for him, like his lunch today.

You decided to drop by to quickly give him what he left behind at home before heading to your own errands. Stepping into the large facility of a school always dumbstruck you; the building was far too huge for its own good that you were constantly afraid of getting lost.

Walking through the hallways, you came across some bright and lively students who delightfully answered your questions. “Kunugi-sensei is in the teachers room!”

You headed towards the directions the students gave you and opened the door to see your husband seated at his desk, going through his bag, seemingly searching for something. To your relief, the room was also empty, with just him occupying it.

You stepped in and closed the door, and the noise caught his attention as he gazed up. His eyes widened, shocked with your presence being in here; he even blinked twice to see if he was dreaming.

“Honey, what’re you doing here?” He stood up, about to approach you when you closed the gap between you both first.

“Sweetheart, relax, I just got you lunch, you forgot it at the table.” You explained, placing a hand on his shoulder to ease him while placing the bag on his desk. His tense muscles loosened, expression softening as he smiled gratefully.

“Thank you, I was just looking for it actually.” He took his seat again, losing all the alert that he was on a few moments ago. You giggled at that.

“You really should stop assuming bad things have happened whenever you see me randomly show up,” You playfully berated. He hummed, taking out the contents from the plastic bag.

“Eat with me,” He offered, turning to face you.

“Huh? What? No - I must get going anyway,” You blushed, taken aback by the sudden request, he was never one to command such an act in public at all. You came to make your leave when he grabbed your wrist quickly. You wouldn’t know that what inspired this behaviour was an earlier conversation he’s had with another teacher.

Not showing affection as often, will make your partner think you don’t love them.

He wasn’t going to risk such a thing.

“Come on, it’s just lunch and you’ll be off.” He insisted, looking up at you with an expression that played with your heart strings. You sighed, conceding, and elation sparkled in his eyes.

You didn’t expect his next move as he pulled you to sit on his outstretched leg, the other under the desk. He wrapped his arm around you, before you can even protest.

“A-Akiomi, what’re you doing?!” You squealed, “we’re not at home! We’re in a teachers lounge, not the living room!”

“I’m aware.” Was all he said, as he picked up the sushi with his chopsticks and positioned it in front of your lips to eat.

You were disconcerted with the uncharacteristic public display of affection he was showing you, and hesitantly opened your mouth to allow him to put the sushi in your mouth. He watched you chew on it slowly with intense eyes, this was all too awkward.

You smiled shyly, “uhm...thank you, but this is your lunch, you should eat too.”

You snatched the pair of chopsticks from his hand and grabbed another piece, offering it in front of him and he takes it. This was new, but you weren’t going to object against it, it was nice.

For a few minutes, it proceeded with you two feeding each other. There were a few pieces that Akiomi dipped in sauce and gave you to eat, smearing some of it on your lips. Blushing, you reached for the tissue box that was in the corner of his desk when he acted quicker than you, wiping it off with his thumb and bringing it up to his lips, sucking it with a look of suggestive eyes.

You must’ve squeaked, just staring at him with wide eyes at what just happened. He’s never done this, what’s gotten into him. He shifted his leg upwards, making you fall forward.

You quickly caught yourself and stopped the fall by gripping onto his shoulders, and stared at him in disbelief as he smirked down at you. He must’ve wanted to go further, if it weren’t for the door loudly sliding open with a bang.

“Kunugi-sensei! I got you the homework you asked for!” Madara laughed uproariously as usual, waving the stack of papers about over his head. He seemed to catch on the moment you two were on as he froze on the spot and grinned, though you weren’t sure if it was nervously or teasingly, “oh sorry! I must’ve been so very rude, interrupting a husband and wife like this in a heated moment! Just ignore me!”

“Mikejima, you-”

You didn’t let Akiomi finish berating him as you abruptly stood up, mumbling an excuse and reaching for your bag, quickly storming out of that room and avoided looking at anyone’s face.

You’ll have a talk with your husband later.

[dawud-abdulhameed-mcintosh]

Salaamu alaykum. I suspected my husband for a couple years and even looked through his phone. Now he admitted to porn / inappropriate videos a few times after marriage. I feel stuck. I don’t want to be near him anymore. Am I wrong for feeling that way? We should forgive so Allah will forgive us. But it’s making me feel sick and low and stupid that he did this behind my back and also slept with me. He said he’s still attracted to me and loves me. But I can’t trust him anymore. I feel lost.

Sigh. Welp here comes the “Oh you’re just saying this because you’re a man!”. 

So let’s state the obvious. Pornography is completely haraam in Islaam. To indulge in it is a sin. There are also more “secular” arguments one could make regarding porn, just in case we have any “uhhhh says who?” lurkers on here. Ultimately for us as Muslims we stay away from that which is incident and there are few things more indecent than pornography in the frame work of Islaam.

So we can all agree and skip the “IT’S HARAAM!” diatribe because we all agree it is. We all agree there are some harms that come with it, and even if there weren’t its enough that the foundations of this religion make it clear this action falls into the forbidden territory. So, I don’t want  ANYONE claiming in any way that I am lightening this sin in what I am about to say next. If any one does you are either blinded by your own emotions( more than likely deep seeded insecurity and trust issues) or intellectually dishonest and have some bias that only Allah is aware of.

Ok, so..

Your husband has admitted he has watched porn after marriage. Got it. So what does that mean? To you, what are you saying he’s done?

“He’s betrayed my trust”

True enough. He had a habit he did not disclose(in reality he doesn’t have to because that sin is between him and his lord that he must rectify) and you found out. Was it malicious in that he tried to hurt you? Probably not. It’s just your first response to it.

“He hurt me!” “He’s looking at other women!” “He’s doing things that are haraam!”

The last is the strongest argument because no doubt he should, as a Muslim, stay away from that which displeases Allah. Ibnul Qayyim describes any sin related to lust as intoxication because truly it is like being drunk. You may know what you are doing is wrong but you still act as if you are outside of your own body watching yourself do the act but cannot stop.

Now he’s the very uncomfortable truth. Marriage=/= no longer attracted to anyone else but your spouse.

For anyone who thought after marriage your desires would just go away and be purely for your spouse, I’m sorry, you’re living a fantastical lie. Men AND women will always have to battle their own desires, especially sexual. The fact is YOU probably have seen a man that is not your husband and thought they were attractive but fearing Allah you dared not act or speak to those feelings. You would do your best to reserve those feelings for your husband. However you still had that. Period.

My point is not to make this a “what about”-ism laden argument but to say your husband is a human, he is sinful, and he made a mistake(s). In the time we live in porn is readily available and if I had to guess I’d say men AND women have watched porn before marriage. If you haven’t, alhamdulilah you have been saved but for the majority of people in this dunyah, that is not the case. 

Shaykh Ahmad Bazmool(er...actually it might have been his brother Shaykh Muhmmad) in his explanation of Al Waraqaat mentioned the views of some of the fuqahaa on anyone who consistently abandonded the sunan rawatib(established voluntary prayers after the mandated prayers). Some of them(scholars from all four of the major madhaahib) said such a person is a FAASIQ(OPEN, REBELLIOUS, SINNING MUSLIM).

I mean compare yourself to that? In today’s time, the majority of us would be considered fusaaq because at that time the Muslims, spiritually, were at a much higher place. I mean you could go to a simple merchant in those times and find a huffadh. It isn’t that way today.

My point in bringing this up is that it is 2019/1441H. There are so many things widely available that there is no doubt you will find some people who have %ngaged in things that are haraam. Yet we are aware of those and we advise the people. Your husband is no different. Your feelings are your own and I will not shame you for feeling hurt but do you really think your husband is trying to hurt you? Has he gone out to talk to other women? What if he had watched porn before he married you and once you all married he thought he would rid himself of it, but realized it wasn’t that simple, because I promise you that this does happen a lot. 

I have to say this all the time but please do not take this as some shot against you because he has done this. This visceral response of “I don’t want to be near him” is just not constructive. No, it doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you and no it doesn’t mean he needs to be with other women. It means he is in this dunyah like you and I are and he made mistakes. Now I want to be clear that if you keep this as a grudge against him there will be a time where this will bite you back. Where you will make a mistake and demand he forgives you and you will probably argue “OH but mines wasn’t as bad”. Says who? How can you judge on that arbitrary line according to your own biased perception what is worse than what?

He hasn’t cheated on you(oof someone’s gonna come at me for that one). He’s not trying to harm you but he is completely in the wrong. Talk to your husband and more importantly ask yourself how good of a man do you think your -husband is? Does he provide for you? Is he kind to you? If you are in the 85-90% approval rating of your husband most of the time are you really going to tell me that you can’t see how perhaps this was simply a lapse in judgement and weakness in strength.

Also understand that if you go to “this means he wants other women” or “He isn’t happy with me” YOU made that up. Unless this man has literally forgone intimacy with you completely YOU are imagining scenarios in your head that are not true. You don’t close up, you talk. Congrats ukht this is a relationship. You don’t get to get hurt, close up and then expect him to fix everything. You and your husband need to talk and air out the pain that is between you two.

Think the best of your husband and remember that even the best of us fall. As men, we compartmentalize our feelings. We are extremely visual and basic creatures. Just because he watched does not mean it’s anything more than that. He watched it. Not, “He’s thinking of other women to leave me for” or “He’s comparing my body to theirs”. No, he’s really not. He’s being primal and releasing tension in a way that displeases Allah. He should be advised, repent and then you all need to talk seriously about the intimacy in your relationship and communication. 

May Allah make it easy.

[deneigement]

—  ¡ * TASK 01 :: JEREMY ATKINSON 

sorry for all the things i said when i thought you weren’t listening. sorry for all the things i didn’t say when you were.

⤷  * SECTION 01 — APPEARANCE

ATTRACTIVENESS.

Jeremy acts like he finds himself extremely attractive, but that’s mostly to cover up his own insecurities when it comes to his looks. He does believe he’s attractive, yes, but there are also so many things about himself he wishes to change. When he comes to other people finding him attractive, I think it depends on the person, to be honest? Like, I think his attitude probably makes him a lot less attractive than could be for some people, as he can be quite immature. As for him finding others attractive, it really depends? Honestly, the biggest turn on for Jeremy is people who carry themselves with confidence. He doesn’t have a specific type apart from that; he finds beautiful people beautiful, and even often finds beauty in people other people might not consider beautiful. 

HEIGHT.

Jeremy’s 5′8″, which is quite short for a man his age, and he used to get teased a lot for it, which is why it once bothered him, but he’s pretty much at peace with it nowadays. He still wishes he was taller than the rest of his family so he’d have one (1) thing on them, but fact is he’s both the youngest and the shortest. 

When it comes to preference with partners’ heights, he tends to be more attracted to people who are taller than him, but he wouldn’t just... Dismiss someone because they’re shorter. Like, as I said earlier, he can find beauty in almost everyone, and he’s not going to let height stop him from appreciating someone. He does find it hot when people can lowkey tower over him, though, but he’d never admit that.

TATTOOS & PIERCINGS.

He has none whatsoever. He’s thinking about getting a tattoo, though, and already knows he wants to get it at Royal Ink, preferably done by Maev because he’s heard from people that the blond is really, really good at what he does. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Maev doesn’t hurt to look at. Jeremy knows Maev DEFINITELY isn’t interested in him like that, and really Jeremy isn’t either, but he does appreciate beauty, you know? And like, piercings? He did consider getting his tongue pierced at one point, but he has a very low pain threshold so... It’s a big no for now. As for other people, he does find tattoos and piercings beautiful, but it doesn’t exactly like... Attract him more or less to someone? To him it’s like a frame on a painting; it can be beautiful, but it’s not typically the masterpiece itself.

GROWING UP. 

Oof. Okay, so. Jeremy was the youngest of his family, and always looked younger than his age, so that was probably quite frustrating for him sometimes. Like his brothers’ friends assuming he was younger than he was, getting asked what the fuck he was doing in high school in his first year there, etc. Honestly, it resulted in a lot of typical Jeremy glares. He was always cute, though, so he had that going for him. Like apart from looking younger than his age, he never had really big issues with his own appearance growing up? Sure, there were things he didn’t love about himself, just as I mentioned earlier, but it was never like... Something that affected his self-esteem too much or anything. 

⤷  * SECTION 02 — RELATIONSHIPS

FAMILY. GRANDPARENTAL + PARENTAL + SPOUSE DEATH TW ALL OVER THIS SECTION 

GRANDMOTHER (JOLENE ATKINSON) / / Jeremy adored his grandmother. She’s the one who really raised him from the age of two years old until she died a few weeks ago, and he was the person he respected most in the world. Sure, he acted out and probably disappointed her more than a couple of times, but she always made him feel loved and like, no matter what he did, no matter what he achieved, he’d have a place with her. Her death hit him hard, but he’s yet to fully processed it, to be honest? Like, I’m inspiring this off of how I myself deal with grief, but it hasn’t fully hit him how he’ll never see her again, and has yet to break down, though when that finally happens, it’s going to be quite difficult. Will I write it out? I don’t know, because it’ll be sad, but I might do a self-para that refers it eventually. But maybe not. We’ll see.

MOTHER (ELISABETH ATKINSON {NÉE SAUCIER}) / / Jeremy doesn’t remember his mother. She died when he was two years old, and though he’s seen pictures of her holding him in her arms when he was younger (they were hard to find, though; his dad put them all away after she died), he remembers absolutely nothing about her. It’s really weird for him, because his brothers remember her a lot better than he does, and if/when they talk about her, he feels super uncomfortable because he almost feels like he has no right being sad/upset, since he doesn’t even remember her? He does wonder sometimes if his life would have been different if she hadn’t died, though. Not only because he’d have had her in his life, but also because his father probably wouldn’t have been as absent if she had lived.

FATHER (NAME TBD ATKINSON) / / After Jeremy’s mother died, his father buried himself into his work and was barely ever there for his kids, letting his mother pretty much raise them all on her own. He never got over his wife’s death, and still hasn’t, though he’s been making an effort lately to reconnect with his sons. The problem for Jeremy is that he tried so fucking hard as a kid to get his father’s attention and never succeeded, so for him to now pay attention, when he’s all grown up (though honestly he has a lot of maturing still to do, but that’s a conversation for another day)... It’s like a blow in the guts. Like, now that he’s given up on his father, his father suddenly wants to be a dad? And maybe Jeremy should be kinder; it’s not like he never saw his dad as a kid, and it could have been a lot worse, but... Jeremy’s extremely bitter when it comes to his dad. ( up to change when/if the wanted connection for jeremy’s dad gets taken. )

OLDEST BROTHER (NAME TBD ATKINSON) / / Growing up, Jeremy looked up to his brothers a lot, especially the two oldest. They have quite a big age gap, so he highkey saw them as adults when they were still teenager, and was constantly seeking their approval. Not necessarily their attention, but their approval? Hell yeah. Well, lowkey their attention too, but obviously not in the way he wanted his father’s attention. Depending on the person who plays the oldest brother, too, he might even have lowkey helped the grandma out when it came to raising the youngest Atkinsons? So, there is that. But, yeah. Jeremy took it hard when each of his brothers left Ellingham pretty much as soon as they could, but he probably took it the hardest with the oldest brother because (1) he was the first to leave and (2) jeremy was still a lil kid when that happened. Plus, he was quite dramatic(tm) so that departure must have been something lmao. I mean, he eventually got over it, but even now, he’s like “yeah you’re just here because grandma died so like...... you can leave now.” @ all his brothers even though he doesn’t REALLY want them to leave, he’s just... bitter. ( up to change when/if the wanted connection for jeremy’s oldest brother gets taken. )

SECOND OLDEST BROTHER (NAME TBD ATKINSON) / / Growing up, Jeremy looked up to his brothers a lot, especially the two oldest. They have quite a big age gap, so he highkey saw them as adults when they were still teenager, and was constantly seeking their approval. Not necessarily their attention, but their approval? Hell yeah. Well, lowkey their attention too, but obviously not in the way he wanted his father’s attention. I’m not as sure this brother would have been pressured or something to help raise to youngest Atkinsons like the oldest was, but! That probably gave him more space to be like, more chill around them? Though of course that 100% depends on who plays them and what not. Once again, it was hard for Jeremy when his brother left Ellingham, but probably wasn’t as dramatic as when the oldest left. Still, the bitterness? Still there. The fact that his brothers just came back because of his grandma’s death makes him a bit... Side-eye-y. He gets it, and he’s glad they listened to his grandma’s last wishes, but he’s lowkey mad at them, too, so yeah! ( up to change when/if the wanted connection for jeremy’s second oldest brother gets taken. )

THIRD OLDEST BROTHER (PETER ATKINSON) / / I feel like, out of all his brothers, Peter’s the one that Jeremy’s maybe the least mad at because when he came back he acted so... Peter-y that it was like no time had passed? Also, he’s probably the one Jeremy used to get along with best, even though he pranked Jeremy a lot so yes. He’s still mad at him, but it’s hard to stay mad at Peter when he’s right there in front of you making bad jokes, so Jeremy’s been having difficulty being bitter around him. Which doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying, but yeah. 

SECOND OLDEST BROTHER (LIAM ATKINSON) / / Liam was the latest brother to leave, and at that point Jeremy was like “LMAO what a surprise! Very original, Liam. Very new. Not cliché at all.” And like, Liam tried his best to keep in touch but honestly it wasn’t easy, especially with Jeremy purposefully avoiding his texts/calls sometimes bc immature and bitter so egoeirjgoiejrgoerjgrej. Like? He’s not exactly angry at Liam or anything; he’s just bitter @ his whole family in general. I do hope their relationship gets better though because I love family dynamics, and yeah!!!!!!!!

OTHER.

FAVOURITE PERSON (ADRIEN LIU) / / Oof. Basically, Jeremy’s pretty much fallen head over heels for Adrien. Like, I’d say he has a crush, but the word “love”’s much closer to how he feels, though I don’t know if he’s ready to admit that yet. Thing is, he doesn’t think Adrien feels the same way about him, but he doesn’t want to lose him, so he acts like he’s fine just being friends even though there’s more to it. 

BEST FRIEND (MARGARET WHENHAM) / / We haven’t plotted it out a lot yet, but basically they’re super different, so it makes for a very interesting friendship! Margo’s Jeremy’s best friend and he’d do pretty much anything for her.

ONE-TIME HOOKUP (SUTTON GARDNER) / / They hooked up once because they both find each other attractive, but that’s pretty much it. It was for fun, and apart from that, they don’t tend to interact much. It was clear to both of them what it was; just sex.

FRIEND (TALIA TREMBLAY) / / They just recently became friends, even though they knew of each other beforehand. Jeremy’s not the most constant of friends, but he’s there when Talia needs him, and he does honestly appreciate her.

⤷  * SECTION 03 — PERSONALITY TYPES

49 ARCHETYPES: The Drama (Theatrical, Emotive, Sensitive). ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good. ENNEAGRAM: Type 4, The Individualist. MBTI: ESFP, The Entertainer. SOUL TYPE: Performer. INTELLIGENCE TYPE: Visual-Spatial. BIG FIVE: Openness to experience. TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine.  ZODIAC: Gemini Sun, Aries Moon & Pisces Rising.