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trashmouth-richie · 5 months ago

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𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 : part 2

꧁ eddie x female reader :: read part 1 here

a multi chapter mini series— based on thoroughfare by ethel cain

listen here (apple music) + here (spotify)

summary: jumping into his truck at seventeen, eddie takes a journey in hopes to find love. years pass with no such luck, along the way he stumbles across you, a timid drifter who reluctantly agrees to join him, heading west. you’ve never trusted men, but something in those kind, deep colored coffee eyes stirs up a feeling you’ve never felt before. strangers to lovers trope, one bed trope.

5.6k triggers: 18+ only, smut, piv no condom, oral m&f receiving, loneliness, hard times heartache, finding yourself, humor about rocky mountain oysters 🐂 🦪 etc.

Indigo thunderheads belt a rhythm of applause across the Schell Creek Range. Strikes of lightning shred the sky into a kaleidoscope of colors, sharp acidic white and lavender swim in the night sky. The temperature had dropped enough to create the perfect recipe for a late summer storm, and Eddie’s truck was in the center of it.

The windows had been fogged up for a while now, the heat from your skin causing the condensation to build across the windshield. Frustration laid sourly beneath your surface, aching for his touch, high on his movements and the way he kept licking his bottom lip.

The tension bubbled and boiled so hot you could barely handle the extra heat emitting from your body.

Eddie had readjusted himself more times than he probably had in any part of junior high. A single glimpse of your legs uncrossing and recrossing would start the process all over again.

You tried to busy yourself with counting the yellow dashes on the road, naming the fifty states in alphabetical order, but nothing- nothing, was stopping that steady roar of want.

Rain had pelted the windshield in steady drops, but the last ten minutes had increased into a torrential downpour, just enough for the windshield wipers to have a hard time keeping up. There was simply no outrunning this storm.

“Shit,” Eddie hums, squinting at the disappearing road, “we’re gonna have to pull over, gettin’ hard to see.”

The small talk between you and Eddie had been just that today. Miniscule conversations that were cut short with one word answers, and longing glances so thick you had to physically peel your eyes from the way his throat danced when he took a sip from his water.

“There’s a town coming up,” you say, heart thumping your delicate finger moving along the lines of the map.

Eddie looks at you, his throat going bone dry at the way the shadows played on your skin, and he has to swallow more than once to utter a response, “s-sounds good to me.”

Another night on the road. Another shady motel that smelled of stale cigarettes and regretted decisions. The weeks behind you were spent exactly like tonight. A day filled with burning rubber on the asphalt and exploring the smallest of towns on the map you had insisted on buying.

Sometimes, you’d both tuck in early for the night, checking into the nearest motel with a vacancy and the promise of a hot shower. Other nights you ate a questionable cheeseburger and fries at some shithole of a bar listening to live music, nursing a beer or two.

No matter what the day held, Eddie’s gentlemanly ways never faltered. He always let you shower first. Offering you first dibs on the paper wrapped soaps and the mini bottles of shampoo, and you made sure to leave enough conditioner for him.

He was traditional in that way, any diner you went to he sat facing the entrance, eyes sweeping for exits. In the motels, he slept in the bed closest to the door, there was no use arguing with him over these small little acts of preservation. Your groans of protests were met with the same kind of answer each time. Take note sweetheart, I might just be the last chivalrous guy around.

What Eddie didn’t realize is that he probably was.

“… should have realized she was up to no good when she kept feeding me drinks all night and eyeing my ring.”

You nearly choke on a slice of pizza you’d ordered while waiting for Eddie to get out of the shower. The bathroom door swings open and he emerges from the steamed room, wet hair beading against his bare shoulders.

The greased stained corners of a pizza box sat on your bed. Feet crossed beneath your legs, hair wrapped in a towel, you held up a finger and spoke with a mouthful, “Wait, wait wait. When was this?”

The same sweatpants he always wore to bed were slung low on his hips, showing off the gray elastic of his boxer briefs. He threw a white tank top from a pack of six over his head, and you watched as it clung to his chest still wet from his shower, hiding the silvery peek of a chain necklace.

“My first week leaving home,” he sighed, reaching for a slice, leaning his long frame onto his side laying on the edge of the bed, “just a tad bit naive.”

A laugh bubbles from your throat and you try to hide it behind your hand, “so, innocent little Eddie got his ring stolen after thinking he hit the jackpot with Tracie?”

“No no, this was Tiffany,” he said, chucking a parmesan packet at you playfully, a laugh erupting from him, “c’mon now, listen to the story.”

“Okay, okay!” you surrender, “what happened next?”

He sits up animatedly, smile stretched like taffy across his face, “well, we went back to the motel and when I woke up…truck was still there, cash never even touched. The only thing she took was the ring and the boots right off of my feet.”

“Nah uh… you’re lying.”

Eddie’s smirk grows wide, and he takes another bite of his pizza, “looked pretty dumb walking into that boot store with just socks on.”

You both laugh until the tears slide down your cheeks. Like old friends who had known each other for years, giggling at jokes only the two of you found funny. Eddie made you feel comfortable the second you sat in his truck, with him it wasn’t complicated. Something foreign to you, but you found it easy to adjust to his easy going ways.

“Alright,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “you heard all of my on the road woes, time you tell me something I don’t know.”

You slink further down the bed, head resting on the pillows, ankles crossed by Eddie's outstretched legs.

“I don’t like olives, or mushrooms.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “whoa, pump the brakes… you’re gettin’ a little too deep here.”

You hold up a suggestive finger in front of your smirk and he laughs, “c’mon honey, tell me why you were walkin’ on that road the day we met.”

Flashbacks of slamming doors and yelling voices ring loud in your ears, and you sigh, “it’s a long story.”

“Good thing we don’t have anywhere to be, huh?”

Picking at your nails you think back to the childhood— or lack thereof, that you were raised in. The anger, the hurt, the emotional pain still heavy on your chest. From the sound of his life and the way he talks about the love his parents had for one another, you doubt he wouldn’t be terrified of the demons you’d faced.

A slow shake from your head and you look up to his eyes in the warm auburn light. Brimmed with care and full of trust, you shudder from the intensity.

“No judgment here,” he says softly, laying a hand on his chest, “I promise.”

Taking a deep breath you stare at the chipped polish on your toes, working your hands into a rub as you begin the wretched story of your life.

The small town you’d seen on the map shouldn’t have been given a name at all. A one horse town would have been too much to describe the absolute barren grounds of what laid ahead of you.

A green sign proudly stated the name of it and the population count “8 , no services.” A building that should have been scheduled for demolition had a single light above the sign that said “vacant” flickering like morse code. Looking around, this was it, the entire motel looked to be the size of a small home.

Eddie eased the pickup in front of what seemed to be the front office after noticing a television glaring through a filthy window. The rain fell harder now, beating down against the truck so loud you could barely hear him as he told you to stay put.

A large sigh heaves from your lips the second his door clicked shut. You needed to get a grip on yourself. But you can’t, finding yourself smoothing down your shirt, rummaging through your bag to rub deodorant beneath your arms.

Pulling down the visor, you can see the heated flush on the apples of your cheeks in the tiny cracked mirror. You’re a mess as your mind slips to the way his jeans squeezed on his ass and seem to tighten against the zipper, the flutter of his lashes when you caught him looking— your thighs shut together to find relief.

The driver's door opens the same time you snap the visor back into place and there he stands, drenched from head to toe. A look of bewilderment on his face. The eyes that sparkled were suddenly set into a gloom as he slid behind the steering wheel and sat, staring ahead.

“Everything, okay?”

“Oh yeah, no worries, just uh.. little snag, but I have an idea,” his smile warms you from the inside out and your thighs press together tighter, air breached from your lungs as your stomach plummets.

Your voice grows small as you finish the lengthy tale of your life, and you wipe your runny nose against the end of the towel.

The radio plays Elton John’s Your Song gently in the background and you tuck your feet under your legs. Picking at the pilling fabric of the comforter, letting out a gentle morose sigh.

“Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.”

Seriousness clouds his eyes, and he looks almost sad as he leans forward and hooks a finger under your chin until your eyes meet his, “dance with me?”

Warmth radiates from him, the feeling of home lies in the depths of his eyes. Reaching out.

“Here? Now?”

He climbs from the bed leaning a hand down to yours, “yeah,” he shrugs, “I like this song.”

Don’t have much money but..boy, if I did

I’d buy a big house where, we both could live.

If I was a sculptor but then again no

He stands tall above you, looking down the slope of his nose, a smile on his lips at the timid way you approach him, hands held out in an offering of you weren’t even sure of what.

“Just letting you know now, that I haven’t danced since the Prom, and even then it was—”

Eddie grabs your hands and pulls you gently into him, stepping back to leave space. Your hands slither up against his biceps and land on his shoulders, thumbs flicking gently over the firm muscle there.

“I’ll lead,” he says, keeping his hands above your hips, touching the bottom of your ribs with his large fingers, “this okay?”

Screaming internally, you simply nod with your eyes closed. Going solely on his touch as Eddie begins to sway you both from side to side.

Where you are clumsy, Eddie is surprisingly limber on his feet. His hands move you this way and that, and he chokes on his laugh when you move your feet forward when they should have gone back and your toes crush into his.

But the suns been quite kind while I wrote this song

it’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do

Your skin is ablaze where his palms hold you tight, heart thumping in your chest in a rhythmic staccato of its own accord. His eyes look dreamy in the low light, long lashes sweeping the highs of his cheeks when he blinks.

You're so caught up in his beauty that you don’t hear the low murmur of his voice the first time he speaks.

“Sorry?”

Eddie chuckles and you can feel it bubble from his chest, “I said, it’s nice right?”

“The dance?”

“Well,” he says with a small smirk, “that too, but I was talking about the song.”

Heat rises in your cheeks and you bite your lip, but he doesn’t notice because he’s soon leaning forward, his nose brushing the shell of your ear.

His voice is like liquid smoke, curling around you and wrapping you into the warmest embrace, one that you’d gladly die in.

“You’re not half bad at this,” he says with a grin that you can hear with the squeak from his cheeks.

Leaning back you look him in the eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity in the desert browns, “maybe i’ll take up line dancing.”

“That,” he says with a laugh, twirling you away from him in the most un-graceful way your body could move. Ankles knocking into one another, toes burning against the short carpet. “I would pay to see.”

You spend the rest of the song dancing and giggling at his stupid jokes and the way he whips his long hair around.

More than just friendship brews between you. His arms held you against him, not letting you go. Eddie’s voice curls into a whisper against your ear, his barely dry hair tickling your shoulder, “I’m happy you’re here with me, and I’m sorry you were treated that way.”

Your head angles into his chest, and you lay your cheek against him, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “I’m happy to be here too.”

The cheese had gone stone cold on the forgotten pizza, song after song you swayed back and forth until Casey Kasem started taking requests on the radio.

The rain seeps through your thin shirt as you stand at the door with your bag slung over your shoulder, patiently waiting for the key to work.

Eddie must have jiggled it into the sweet spot after a few minutes of working the handle, swinging the door open and ushering you inside just as a loud clap of thunder booms across the sky.

You jump on instinct and Eddie snuffs out a snort as you run your hand along the wall to find the light switch.

The lights sputtered and hummed to life, showcasing cobwebbed corners and illuminating the orb of dead flies. The wallpaper was peeling away from itself in long tawny strips, curled to a crisp on the edges. A sign written in cursive was crudely taped to the tv saying “out off of order”.

But out of all of the eyesores in the room, there was still something off.

One bed.

A week and hundreds of miles stretched on from the night you and Eddie had danced together. He noticed you smiling more, the barriers you had up were lowered, and no matter how much he tried— he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

The bar you had stopped at to get supper was packed. Peanut shells coated the floor and there was a fight breaking out in the back corner. Eddie’s hand warmed your lower back as he pointed you towards a small table.

A waitress dumped handwritten menus with faded ink at your table. He watched your eyebrows raise in question as you read the appetizers.

“Fresh Rocky Mountain Oysters fried in a cornmeal blend?” you questioned, “what even is that?”

Eddie’s lips pressed tight to hide a laugh, “well they’re not real oysters… and the Rocky Mountain part is more or less a nod to where they came from.”

Your eyebrows tick up in confusion and then disgust as he explains just exactly how and what those “oysters” are made from.

“Yeah… think I’ll just stick with the cheese balls.”

He laughs as your mouth turns to a frown. “Good choice. The sign outside claimed they had the best bison burgers in the state, that’s what I’m gonna get.”

“Does that come with or without testicles?”

He doesn’t miss a beat, “hopefully without those suckers are expensive.”

Your laugh sounded loud in his soul, your smile sung to him anytime he saw it, and fuck, he wondered if you knew just how gorgeous you really were.

A singular mattress. For you and for Eddie.

Before you can say anything Eddie’s already apologizing, “I swear, this is all they had…” he says, letting out a large sigh, wiping the rain from his face with the sleeve of his soaked shirt.

He shuts the door and clicks the locks into place before he moves his things to the other side of the room, “you take the bed, I’ll make do with the floor.”

Your brows crease and you pout in disbelief, “don’t be ridiculous Eddie, I’m not gonna let you sleep on the fl—”

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart,” he smiles, a tired look on his face as he hauls his duffle bag into the bathroom, wet fringe sticking to his forehead, “don’t worry bout me…gonna change quick.”

Rifling through your bag you dress into your pajamas quickly. Your stomach turned. It wasn’t right, you would not let him sleep on the floor of this dirty room. This entire trip he had been paying for the motel stays, and you’d be damned if he was going to have a sore back because of… this.

A single curse is muffled through the thin walls followed by a chuckle, “hey, you can add another thing to the list of shit going wrong tonight.”

The carpet was damp beneath your feet as you moved to the bathroom, “what happened?”

Eddie throws open the door, sporting a black pair of boxer briefs sprinkled with rain drops, and nothing else besides a splatter of pink blush on his cheeks. You almost choke at the sight of him.

Despite the circumstances, a smile remains on his pink lips, “all of my clothes are soaked.”

With the burning tension and your body screaming all day in the cab of the pickup, your mind was preoccupied. Not even registering that his bag had been in the bed of the truck, soaking up every drop of rain it could into its blue canvas shell.

You’ve seen him bare chested before, but the way the rain clung to his skin, he looked ethereal, and your stomach lurched when he stepped around you, his arm sliding against yours with a potent electricity.

“We um…” your tongue felt like velcro stuck to the roof of your mouth, peeling the first layer off of it for sure as you spoke. Grabbing a pair of his jeans from his bag to hang up over the back of a dusty chair, you suggest, “we can hang your stuff up to dry, hopefully by tomorrow they’ll be alright.”

You work quickly, pulling pants and shirts from the bag and hanging them in various places, hoping that the heat from your cheeks would subside if you didn’t look at him.

He holds the last pair of pants in his large hands. Holding them out he suddenly withdraws, holding the bundle of wet fabric high above his head, laughing as you reach on your tiptoes to grab them.

The pout on your lips makes his quirked smile spread across his cheeks as you stretch further to reach his arm. Laughter erupts from him.

Your thin cotton shirt is smushed into his wet chest, your breath catches in your throat when your nipples harden from the cold touch of his skin skimming over yours. He stops entirely, bringing the pants down and tossing them on the nearest chair, those deep eyes never leaving yours.

His hand runs the length of your arm, starting at the knob of your shoulder, trickling with feather light touches down to your fingertips, entwining them with his. Pulling you gently closer into him.

A sigh fell from his lips so beautiful it could make Medusa blush, and you nearly passed out from holding in your own breath.

His other hand rubs against your cheek, calloused and strong, and your insides melt to jelly at his touch. He presses his forehead to yours, and you move your hands around his waist, pressing your fingertips into the meat of his lower back.

For years you have been afraid, never trusting anyone, especially men. But with him it was different, he was gentle, kind, and caring. It was as easy as breathing, and came on as quickly as falling asleep. Here in his arms you felt content for the first time in a long while.

Eddie’s heart beat is thumping loud but sure. “You’re beautiful… do you know that?”

The heat ignites in your core as his words seep into your skin. Shaking, you clear your throat to steady yourself, “you really think so?”

He nods his head, “It’s been a long damn time since I left home,” he nearly whispers, “nothing left… but now that I met you, I finally know just where I’m headin’.”

A tear leaks from your eyes and he kisses it away. His lips felt like satin on your skin, and you sucked in a breath at the feel of them. His eyes looked into yours and he whispers, “don’t cry, sweetheart.”

You needed him, craved to have all of bim. And you surprised yourself as you raised on your toes, pulling him towards you. His lips pressed lightly into yours and you swore your breath was taken away even though you were expecting it. You open your mouth and welcome his tongue, eyes rolling in your head as he massages it with yours.

Eddie’s hands wrap against your shirt, feeling your bare skin pressing you further into him as you whimper into him.

The carpet squashed beneath your feet as you walk backwards towards the bed, a frenzy of locked lips and wandering hands. Fingers tugging into his curls, Eddie moans against your mouth, his hands squeezing at your hips. He breaks from your lips, his wet and spit licked.

The brown eyes you’ve been accustomed to staring in never leave yours as he sits on the bed, leaning back on his elbows. The shine of his chain gleaming in the dull light.

Thunder raps loud outside, wind thrashing and howling against the window. Your fingers roll against the hem of your shirt and you don’t think twice before hauling it over your head, moving towards Eddie and the impressive length bulging from his boxer briefs. Your knees touch lightly.

His lips suck between his teeth as he drinks you in. Lazily eyeing over every curve, every imperfection, the tight peaks of your nipples.

You climb over, your knees sinking into the bed on either side of his narrow hips, resting on his lap. With one hand cupping his cheek, you lower your lips to his skin.

He groans when you kiss the hollow of his throat, kissing up his neck until you nip at his ear lobe, sucking that small silver hoop into your mouth.

“So pretty like this,” he murmurs into your ear, “like an angel.” His hands roam over your skin with blunt nails. Up and down your back his touch electrifies you. Your own noises unravel as he grows beneath you.

Murmuring his name, you arch into his touch, elongating your neck until his ravenous hands skim the delicate skin of your breasts, thumbs rolling against your nipples. His mouth attaches to your skin and you whimper when he rolls you over and lays you down on the dusty comforter.

Your ankles cross behind his back as he grinds into you, kissing you so deeply you couldn’t get enough. He was gentle with you, waiting for your nods of approval as he slipped your panties off. He trailed kisses down your cheek to your neck as his fingers swirled up and up your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their trek.

Thunder and lightning competed for attention outside but you were lost in Eddie. Wrapping your fingers in his hair when he circled your clit, whimpering when he slipped his finger into your wet sex.

You weren’t sure where your moans ended and his began, but when he added a second finger you swore lightning broke through the window and struck against your eyes.

He was deliberate yet slow as he coaxed you along, kissing and licking at your neck, his hair sticking to his sweaty skin and yours. The wind picked up more and rattled the door as your legs shook beneath him, coming undone by his hand.

You laid in a dreamy haze and when you opened your eyes you realized the lights had gone out from the storm, but a flash of lightning lit Eddie’s skin in sheets of white light as he pushed himself up, taking one last kiss from your lips.

He didn’t hurry you along as you reached for the waistband of his underwear, only groaned when he popped up heavy against his stomach, a beaded pearl already formed on his tip. His impressive length seemed to grow before your eyes as you placed a hand on him, and he hissed as you tugged him.

He was stunning, kneeling before you, shining with sweat, his lips bit between his teeth from your hands stroking him. You laid down again, opening wide with a smirk twisted on your mouth.

Lining himself up with your entrance, your hands skimmed down the muscles of his back, feeling the way they rippled when he pushed himself in, your combined whimpers deaf against the thunder cracking. He was large, an ache you wanted between your legs again and again if he wanted.

Eddie’s eyes meet yours as he collects your lips with his, and you nod for him to go deeper. He stretched you until your breath quickened, making sure you were okay, kissing your cheeks, your eyelids, the spot behind your ear. It was soothing the way he took care of you, and when you told him he could move, he drug out of you slow, your walls constricting around him.

Cursing he squeezed his eyes shut as you clamped around him, and when he drove back into you, again and again, you swore you found Heaven.

You were both hard-pressed for air and sweating, your name falling from his lips in broken syllables as you both unraveled. Heaven was in his arms, in his smile, in the way his fingers laced with yours and pressed down into the mattress as his kisses deepened.

The storm raged war against itself outside but neither of you noticed. Tangled in eachother’s arms and once again joining together under the sheets, this time his lips pressed to your ear as he held you tight to him and took you from behind as you both laid on your sides.

Hours passed taking the clouds and thunder away. The only thing remaining on the mattress was a bottom sheet, one end still tucked and clinging for dear life. You didn’t know when you both ended up on the floor, and you didn’t mind the bite of the carpet on your knees as you wrapped your mouth around him. His moans spread across the room, no thunder to mask it.

When sunlight streamed through holes in the moth bitten curtain, his head laid on your bare chest, your hand in his curls. Dust danced in the warm rays across the room, laying heavy with the rest of the unkept space.

The buttery rays spread across your naked bodies, displaying the wine splotched skin marks on your chest. Your thighs had similar stains, ones that were licked better by the one who gave them. He had traces from last night on his neck and hips too, uneven stamps of purple and red painted from your mouth as you claimed him.

The two of you slept until the sun wavered to the west. . You had curled into him like a caterpillar in a cocoon, his breathing fanning your face as he gently snored, curls messy and frizzy.

Eddie’s clothes finally dried in the musty motel room, and you packed up and left when the sun was starting its radiant descent behind the mountains.

The small town was covered in wreckage from the storm, White Fir needles sprinkled the roads like confetti, branches laid across sections of the road that Eddie had to maneuver the truck around. But you finally made it back to the highway.

Back on the road.

Weeks passed and things went back to the way they had before. You didn’t share a bed again, and you didn’t bother to ask why. Looks still lingered, but neither of you crossed that line again.

You knew Eddie was looking for something that was more than what you could offer, and maybe he was caught up in the heat of the moment, maybe the storm swayed his opinion on you just for that night.

It killed you to not feel his touch, not feel the warmth from his body heat as he slept, not feel those lips on your neck your thighs your chest. The ache between your legs lasted days, but it was nothing compared to the hurt in your chest.

He didn’t know you wiped tears away every night when the lights went off or during your shower. What you had together that night was something special, and you’d cherish it for the rest of your life.

It wasn’t until you were on the border of the western state that you noticed him starting to act differently. His stares became longer. He stayed up talking with you until the witching hour. Maybe he would miss your friendship when he got to where he was going, you’d miss him. But you knew your time together was coming to an end.

Still, you braved a smile on your face for him. No strings attached, the only thing left between you was the shared bench of his truck and that stormy night where you both spent the storm in each other's arms until dawn.

He was still Eddie, still made you laugh and was the gentleman he always had been. But whatever started in that motel room lived and died there.

Those feelings you had for him were smoldering and you had to remind yourself that once you hit California it would be the end of your journey with Eddie. The man who saved your life in more ways than you could imagine, showing you kindness and compassion.

That was why he was on the road the same day you were. Fate brought him to you as a gift, an offering to soothe your soul from the wickedness you’d encountered, and for that, and Eddie, you’d be forever grateful.

California was on the horizon, and you had stopped at a small restaurant on the Nevada border before crossing into the final stretch of your journey. The food was good but the conversation was light, as if you both knew the end was nearing.

He had to look away from you more than once, shaking his head in the middle of a conversation as if to preserve himself from being hurt.

On the way back to the truck you felt the book start to close between your stories, and you nearly wept at the thought of never seeing him again.

“So,” Eddie asked, kicked a rock back to the truck after finishing up supper. “Where to now?”

You slurped the rest of a Cherry Coke and made a confused face, “what do you mean? I thought you were going to California, lookin’ for love?”

He paused when you reached your door, eyes peering into the distance. “I made it this far without it.” He turns to you, looking so deep into your eyes your soul waved back at him. A smile creeps on his face, “well maybe not, cause look at what I’ve got.”

Your breath hitched in your chest and he closed the space between you, his hand on your cheek, the other on the door, “you might not be my love, but baby… I doubt it.”

Your eyes brim with tears as he presses his lips to yours. Lacing your fingers around his neck, he lifts you up into a hug, spinning you around in the desert sand.

He sets you down, placing his hands on your lower back, moving you gently in the same dance you had done months before. “I never told you,” he began, murmuring into your ear, “that day we met, not a single radio station would come in, I drove a hundred miles that day and nothing. But when I popped over that hill, and saw you walking with nothing but turmoil and angst on your shoulders, a song finally played, something I hadn’t heard in years.”

You move your head from his chest and smile looking up to him, “what song?”

“The same one that played the last time we did this.” he said with a smile, “I knew when it played again that you were meant for me baby, that I’d found what I’d been looking for.”

And for the first time since you were a child, you knew that not all men were angry and hateful. Some of them were good, and handsome, and made you smile so much your cheeks ached. You felt your heart finally heal. Eddie sewing it shut, and the smile on your face mirrored his own.

“Told you I was lucky…now tell me love,” he said, kissing your lips and holding your face in his hands, “where are we going next?”

You squeezed him against you and looked up at him, at the love you had also found that you weren’t expecting, “anywhere with you and all of your dumb luck is the only place I think I’d ever wanna be.”

…and you said “hey, do you wanna see the West with me? Cause loves out there and I can’t leave it be.”

And I said “honey, loves never meant much to me, oh, But i’ll come with you if you’re sure that’s what you need.”

🌵 taglist: @joejoequinnquinn @micheledawn1975 @dashingdeb16 @hereforshmut @welc0me-t0-hellfire

@aropodcastfuck @erinekc @sage-glowstick @emma-munson @b-irock

@miaajaade @bastardstevie

#eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson blurb #eddie fsnfic #eddie munson fanfiction

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flowercrowngods · 1 year ago

Text

@steddie-week

part 1 (bc this is one big 7 part story)

day 02: bittersweet & angst

1 new message

eddie The Problem munson: engagement party on saturday babyyyy 🥳🥸🕺

Steve’s been staring at the message for two days now. It's sitting in his notifications, staring at him like a painful reminder of what happened exactly seven days ago. A week. It's only been a week, and Steve somehow it feels like it was both only one day or seven months ago.

It's an almost liminal experience, walking through life without texting Eddie every second of the day – because texting him would mean opening his message. It would make this real.

And that's the last thing Steve wants.

"I'm not going," Robin declares as they're cuddling on the couch, wallowing in their misery as Mayday Parade's Oh Well, Oh Well is playing for the eighth time on repeat. "Tell me you're not going, Stevie."

"Robbie," he sighs, squeezing her tighter as she tries to wriggle out of his arms to glare at him.

"Steve."

"I can't not go."

"Yes you can." She pokes him in the ribs, but he doesn't budge. She pokes him again. "Not going to things is literally the easiest thing in the world. It's a hundred times easier than going to things. You should try it sometime, trust me. You go to too many things, and–"

"Bee," he hums to get her out of the rambling spiral before she can get lost in it.

"What I'm saying," he interrupts herself dramatically, "is that you can't do this to yourself. They're engaged. They're getting married. We're going to keep our distance until our brains and hearts and the traitorous little chemicals in our bodies catch up to reality, and then we get over them, and then we can go back and see them ever again. That's the logical thing to do, Steve. But you can't... You can't just go and get your heart broken and talk yourself into thinking it's the right thing to do. It's not."

Steve sighs into her hair and buries his face in her neck. He knows that. Technically, logically, he does.

But not going feels wrong. Wronger than anything else that's been hollowing out his chest and leaving nothing but emptiness and the ghosts of every smile, every touch, every baby, love, sweetheart, sunshine. Every imaginary future, every scenario where Eddie meant it. Meant those words, meant those smiles, meant it when he took Steve's hand to hold it.

But Eddie did mean it. Every time, he meant it; because he calls Argyle and Jeff and Gareth baby and sunshine and sweetheart, too. He takes their hands, too, leans in to kiss their cheeks and just holds them when he needs to. That's just the kind of person Eddie is. Always has been.

To go and assume he never meant it would be unfair.

To go and hope it could ever mean more when Chrissy has always been right there would just be stupid.

Well, good thing Steve has that kind of reputation with a few people anyway, so it's not even a statistical outlier, that one. It's not even worth a side note.

"I know," he rasps, his eyes beginning to sting as the next lyrics are carved into the empty space of where his heart used to be.

Oh well, oh well I can't live with myself As I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed.

And I'll be what you need, You can call me anything. Just as long as we're still friends.

Tears prickle in his eyes and he doesn't bother to hold them back. Not now, not with Robin. They've both been crying on and off all week, even though Robin took it better than him.

"I know," he sobs, wrapping his arms around her even tighter as she lets herself be held because she knows that's what he needs. "I know, I know, I know. But I have to. I can't just... I can't just stop, Bee."

"I know," she sighs, climbing out of his hold eventually to wrap her arms around him in return as he cries into her shoulder.

The world (read: his Spotify playlist) makes it worse by playing Sum 41's With Me next, ripping out even the newly carved words.

Robin holds him for the rest of the night, even as he finally opens Eddie's message and types out a reply.

—I'll come!

And especially when there's a new message immediately.

—hot 🥵❤️

He leaves Eddie on read after that.

~*~

Saturday rolls around in a haze, and suddenly Steve finds himself looking at the front door of the little house Chrissy inherited after her mother passed a few years ago. It's a nice little house. Quaint. Perfect. Everything Steve could ever dream of, actually. And she deserves it. All of this and more.

There's noise coming from the garden, where people are laughing and having a great time. A happy time, celebrating their friends and all the good things in life that come with a love well placed.

God, what is he doing here? He can't do this. There is no way.

He's just about to pull out his phone and call Robin, tell her he's coming home, or ask her to tell him everything's gonna be alright, when–

"Steve!" Chrissy hurries towards him, throwing her arms around him in a tight, warm, perfect hug. God, he loves her so much. He melts right into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her middle to spin her around with a grin.

She giggles in delight and tells him to let her down again, which only makes him spin for another round, his grin turning into a genuine laugh.

"No, I hate you!" she laughs, but still doesn't step away from him when he puts her down again. Instead, she leans up and brushes a kiss to his cheek. "Hi, asshole."

"Hi."

He grins and takes her hands in his, just smiling at her for another moment before his eyes trail down to a ring he's never seen her wear before. Ah. Right.

"Oh shit! That it?"

"That's it," Chrissy says, looking down at her hand to look at the ring with a fond, happy little smile, her cheeks flushing red. It breaks Steve a little, but it also fixes something inside him to see her so truly, genuinely happy. "Pretty huh?"

"Very," Steve breathes, hiding the lump in his throat with a sound of awe.

Chrissy hugs him again for good measure and then takes his hand to drag him into the backyard the same way she just came out front, through a little gate off to the side instead of through the house.

Steve loves their backyard because it's always covered in sheerly endless colourful strings of light that are wrapped around decorative arches or poles, framing the back doors and the canopy swing set on the lawn, and just give it the most homey and comfortable atmosphere.

"Stevie!" Eddie exclaims immediately and jumps off from his chair, interrupting a conversation he's apparently been having with Argyle and Nancy to run up to him with such a giddy expression that Steve wants to cry. His heart leaps in his chest, coming back to life and saying one last goodbye at the same time.

"Hi," he says, hugging Eddie close before he can so much as think about what he's doing. But no matter how hurt he is, there will never be a world in which he won't want to hug Eddie Munson. "Sorry I'm late."

"No sorries, it's fine," Eddie murmurs into his neck, staying in the embrace endlessly, and Steve takes the chance to breathe him in. He smells so good. So, so good. It clogs his lungs and renders him unable to speak.

But who needs to speak when they have Eddie in their arms? Who needs to speak when all they have to do is never let go?

Eddie squeezes him a little tighter, and Steve wants to cry. He slowly, gently pushes away from the hug and turns towards the other guests, greeting them with a grin, a hug, or a handshake if they're not familiar.

When he gets to Wayne, the man eyes him with a look that Steve doesn't want to read too much, and his embrace is just a little longer, just a little stronger than usual.

“You look tired, son,” he says by way of greeting, and Steve can’t help but snort and shake his head a little.

“Good to see you again, too, old man.”

Wayne eyes him for one moment longer, then breaks into a small smile and pats Steve’s shoulder before stepping around him to go grab another drink.

After that, the night passes in a blur of talking to his friends, trying to understand what the hell it is that has Nancy and Argyle arguing so profusely, but with smiles on their faces. He fails. But it’s good to see them again, so he just basks in it for a while.

Or, he tries, because every second that he’s not talking or listening to someone, his eyes flick back to Eddie. Eddie, who’s lifting Chrissy from behind and smacking a loud, wet kiss to her neck, her jaw and her cheek, accompanied by her delighted squeals and laughter.

Eddie, who’s looking larger than life, a happy grin permanently plastered on his face as he reminds their guests that Chrissy was his bisexual awakening.

“I swear, she just swept me off my feet after years of thinking I was only into dudes. Knew I had to marry her, but man, I don’t know why she said yes.”

“I’m settling, honey,” Chrissy calls from the other end of the table they’re sitting around. “Only in it for that rockstar money and all.”

The whole table laughs at that.

“Hear, hear,” Eddie snorts, lifting his glass in a toast. Steve and the others lift theirs, too, even though Steve’s hand and arm and whole body feels numb and he’s not entirely sure he’s breathing.

A while later, he grabs a drink and retreats to the canopy swing, illuminated in the soft pink flow of the fairy lights wrapped around it. Eddie’s eyes land on him for a second and Steve thinks that he’ll come over and join him — but then one of Chrissy’s friends says something that distracts him and seemingly makes him fall into a monologue of sorts.

Steve watches, feeling only loss and longing as he does. Eddie is a force of nature. A spectacle. Something beautiful, something powerful, something secret that only a select few get to witness. To know. To appreciate.

Staring as he is, blind to the rest of the world, he startles a little when the swing jostles with another weight settling on it. He didn’t see Wayne coming to join him, and he’s not quite sure whether he should be grateful for the company or apprehensive of what the man who’s like a father to him might have to say.

“How are you doing, son?”

He frowns. “I’m alright.”

Wayne only hums, and Steve’s frown deepens. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him Wayne knows something. That he knows.

“Y’know,” he continues after a while, not looking at Steve but rather at his nephew and his fiancée. “I always figured it would be you.”

Steve crumbles. Yeah, me too, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. Watching the way Chrissy sits on Eddie’s lap with his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder as he tells her something that makes her laugh that cute, pretty, adorable laugh that Eddie then can’t help but join — that’s just something Steve would never compare to. Nothing he’d ever want to come in between.

Eddie and Chrissy are perfect. They’re happy. They fit, they match, they work. They worked so hard and treat each other so right.

They look giddy and serene at the same time, and it makes Steve’s eyes sting. Because he can never make Eddie look like that. He can never make Eddie look at him like that.

I always figured it would be you.

But he couldn’t. That bubbly kind of love, the sunshine kind of love. He knows that’s not for him. Steve’s too much for that. He would never be enough for Eddie — even if without Eddie, there’s nothing left of him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Wayne continues, unaware of Steve’s thought spiral. “I love that girl, I do. Always will. I think she’s too good for Eddie. Don’t tell him I said that,” he adds hastily, and Steve smiles through the tears that threaten to fall again.

“They’re perfect,” he rasps, laughing wetly as Chrissy starts chasing Eddie, who’s hiding behind a very distressed Argyle, who just wants his brochachos to chill!

Maybe it’s a laugh, maybe it’s a sob. He doesn’t have it in him to find out or care.

��They are. Doesn’t mean they’re right, son.”

Steve sighs and tears his eyes away from Eddie. “Wayne.”

“I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “Shutting up.” After a long pause of holding Steve’s eyes, he asks, “Will you be okay?”

No, he thinks immediately, the lump in his throat too big to say anything. So he just shrugs and swallows. “Sure.”

Maybe. Hardly. Probably not. Definitely not.

"No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me. You’ll always have a home with an open door with me, you hear me?"

"I’m not going anywhere, wayne," Steve says, though for the first time ever he doesn't really believe that. Maybe he needs to leave. To leave Eddie behind. Get over him. Cut out his heart and leave it here, run away to heal somewhere else, come back as a new person, or just stay away forever.

The thought makes a tear spill as an empty kind of desperation spreads it’s ugly wings inside his chest, and he's too frozen to wipe it away.

"You hear me?" Wayne repeats, gentler this time, but no less urgent for it.

"Yeah," steve rasps. "Thanks."

Another tear falls as Eddie gently pulls Chrissy closer to him and kisses her in the soft glow of the fairy lights above and around them. Their friends cheer. Steve wants to cry his heart out again.

“I—“ he swallows, wiping at his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can’t do this, he wants to say. For the first time, that’s what he wants to say. “I think I’m gonna head home soon.”

“You bring your car?”

He shakes his head, feeling foggy and dazed and empty and endlessly, endlessly sad. “Was gonna, uh—“

“Let me drive you.” There’s no room for debate or argument there, and Steve wants to crumble again, but still he shakes his head.

“Wayne, no—“

“I’m taking you, son. Make sure you get home safe, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Don’t wanna keep your old man up all night, do ya?”

Steve concedes with a fond eye roll and a grateful smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

They sit like that for another ten minutes — and if Steve leans into Wayne’s side a little, then that’s nobody’s business but theirs.

The car ride is quiet, but it feels weighted even as Wayne pretends not to see the way Steve keeps wiping at his cheeks as the silent tears keep falling, leaving him powerless to stop them.

I can’t do this, he keeps thinking over and over again.

“Just a little warning,” Wayne speaks up again as he pulls up to Steve’s building. “I think he’s going to ask you to be his best man, Stevie. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”

I can’t do this.

He nods, numb again.

“I’ll do anything for him,” he breathes.

“That’s what I’m afraid of, yeah.”

He gets out of the car before he can find out what exactly Wayne means by that. The car stays where it is until the front door closes behind him, until he’s up in his bedroom and finds Robin already asleep.

Ten minutes later, he cuddles close to her and tries hard not to cry, but tonight’s memories have burned themselves into his mind. And he shouldn’t have gone. He knows. He knows.

I’ll do anything. I can’t do this. I’ll do anything. I can’t do this.

He can’t breathe, and Robin holds him through it, whispering sleepily to him as he cries himself to sleep, wishing for a world where he’s not absolutely and utterly in love with Eddie Munson, but failing to imagine one.

I’ll do anything. Anything but this.

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen come back tomorrow for idk which prompt | read part 3 here

#steddie fic #steddie #steddieweek2023 #dio words #listen i barely got any sleep last night and it’s almost 2am again and i’m SO tired so if this doesn’t make sense if it’s too repetitive or #anything??? then that’s just how it is (wap bap)#they all love each other so much it’s a whole mess #would love to give you hurt/comfort tomorrow but that would be rather soon huh #also please nobody be mean to/about chrissy i swear to god #everyone who’s commented and/or reblogged the first part: HI HELLO MWAH!! 🤍🌷

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hwaslayer · 8 months ago

Text

project: make you love me (jyh) | eighteen.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.7k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, yunho being the best boy to his mom and aunt [best boy in general], a lil run in with yunho's ex, yunho and oc just being so soooo in love, small kisses, lots of affection and sweet moments <33

—a/n: one more chapter to go for these lovebirds 💕 happy birthday to our sweet yuyu!! also, next weekend, i'll be posting home (khj). lmk if you want to be on the taglist, but it'll be quite an angsty fic!

♣︎ 2 MONTHS LATER

"No, stop. Yunho." You almost whine when you hear Yunho sigh on the other line.

"I'm sorry, my girlfriend typically calls me babe."

"No, you're not listening to me. I told you it was fine, I promise."

"Baby, I'm not missing your competition." He says lowly, sitting in the chair while him and his mom wait for her doctor to come in. Your competition fell on the weekend Yunho went home, his mom's important check-in with her primary care physician being scheduled on the same Saturday. He had originally scheduled her check-in for the week, but had to reschedule and open up clinic hours on Saturday due to an emergency that arose at home. Yunho already felt guilty enough that he wouldn't be able to accompany her during the week, so when the news broke that it had been rescheduled for the weekend, Yunho immediately drove home.

And you, being the sweetest and most understanding, hugged him tightly and wished them well. Even though at the bottom of his heart, he also felt guilty for leaving you knowing what the weekend held.

You reassured him over and over again that he didn't need to drive all the way back just to see you, but Yunho couldn't take no for an answer. The appointment was early on, and he knew he'd make it just a bit into the start of the competition. He didn't care if it'd tire him.

He just wanted to be there, too.

"I don't care if you do. Your mom needs you the most. My competition is just a competition."

"I know how much this means to you, though."

"There will be more, k? I promise there will be more opportunities for you to cheer me on." He sighs.

"Including this one."

"You're so stubborn." You half-heartedly scold him with a chuckle. "Go. Be with your mom. Please."

"I'll see you in a bit."

"Jeong Yunho." You give off a small groan, making him laugh.

"I love you." He says all loud and proud, making his mom silently chuckle off to the side while her son continues to show off his affection.

"Yeah, love you too. Even though, you don't listen to me!" You scold once more before hanging up.

"Ah, she's a piece of work." He mutters to himself as he does a head tilt.

"She's cute." His mom says, sitting on the chair in front of him, making Yunho chuckle.

"Hm, equally cute and a handful." Yunho leans onto his knees. "You're still okay with coming to her competition, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." She gives Yunho a sweet smile. "I hope she doesn't mind that we'll be there?"

"Of course not. She'd be happy to see you and auntie."

"Is her family going to be there, too?" He nods.

"You'll finally meet them." She laughs.

"I'm sure they're just as lovely as her."

At this point, the doctor knocks on the door a few times to signal his entrance before walking in, a bright smile on his face as he greets the both of them. The check-up carries on for close to an hour, where Yunho is listening attentively to make sure he's taking note of what to do to keep his mom healthy and comfortable. Towards the end though, he's satisfied with how everything turns out and he's happy to know his mom is doing well and is stable.

On the way out, he holds her by the arm, going over the visit and proudly reassuring his mom that she was doing great with taking care of herself and her health. He helps her into the car and makes sure she's buckled in before walking over to the driver's side and rushing over to the house to pick up his aunt. Once everyone is in the car and ready to head to the competition, Yunho makes a quick stop at a floral shop to buy you a bouquet. He shyly rolls his eyes and blushes when his mom and aunt tease him about it, his mom saying she rose him well and that you'd love the flowers.

When Yunho arrives, he sees a few people still trailing into the venue and it eases his mind a bit that he's not the only one walking in late. He gets lucky with parking in the main lot next door, careful to keep up a good pace that both his mom and aunt are able to work with. Getting inside, the competition has already started [as expected], but the group performing isn't one he's familiar with. Yunho holds onto the huge bouquet of flowers he bought, setting it onto his lap when they settle in a few open seats near the middle. He lets out a breath of relief when he quickly scans the program and sees that your group isn't up until later.

Overall, it's a pretty lively event and everyone in the crowd is cheering and roaring no matter what the occasion is on stage. It isn't a huge competition, and a lot of the groups are smaller than your own dance group; but everyone seems to be happy on stage and enjoying themselves. Yunho thinks that's all that really matters, and it's nice for people who have the same passion to get together for some fun, friendly competition.

Plus, he's enjoying himself because his aunt and his mom are— he truthfully was afraid it would be too loud or chaotic for them, but he feels relieved and a bit more comfortable. Everything moves so, so fast that the one moment he blinks, he finds the lights dimming before shining onto familiar faces.

He sees your familiar figure. Your friends.

He feels his heart beating out of his chest, the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He knows you and your friends will kill it out there and he's excited for the crowd to see what you have in store. He finds himself with a major death grip on the arm rests because he feels himself wanting to get up and cheer you on in the middle of the aisle [regardless of how embarrassing that may be, he doesn't really care]. But, he manages to stay still; though his eyes glow and are full of admiration.

He is utterly enamored by you, and Yunho's mom and aunt think it's the sweetest thing.

You gracefully and powerfully move across the stage and Yunho didn't know it was possible to fall in love with you even more. He finds himself cheering loudly, hoping you can hear him and see him from the stage, hoping you know he's there and will always be there to support you through anything. Because he wants to, and he loves seeing you happy doing what you love doing. When the piece finally ends, the crowd is incredibly hyped and Yunho immediately shoots up to stand and clap, flowers now resting on his mom's lap for safety measures.

"She's so good! They all are! They deserve to win this!" His aunt leans over to look at him.

"I know. They do." He smiles from ear to ear.

"Look at your ears, they're so red." His mom gently tugs on his ear. "You're so in love." She teases.

"And what about it?" He pouts and whines. "I just like showing her off. She's good everything she does, and I want her to know that." Lord knows Seonghwa didn't put in any effort to make you feel valued and reassured. He's not entirely sure how long you've been feeling that way, how long you've doubted yourself— but, as long as he's around, he'll make sure you never feel that way again. How could anyone ever compare to you?

"As you should." She smiles at him.

The rest of the show goes on just as lively and entertaining as it started, with a small break before winners are announced. Yunho is bouncing his leg in anticipation, eager to hear the results from the panel. It doesn't come as a surprise though when he hears two other groups winning second and third place because he knows. He just knows.

And he's right.

When the MC announces your group name for first place, Yunho swears he almost loses his voice from cheering. He sees you and your friends with happy tears streaming down your cheeks, and even though he believed everyone had a fair chance at winning today, you all truly deserved it. He knows how late you've stayed in the studio working on choreography, scraping an entire piece just to replace it with something 'better' even if it stressed you out doing so. There was no other group that showed the same dedication and passion as you and your friends, and he really, really wanted this for you all more than anything.

He can't wait to see you and hug you.

Kiss you.

old you.

Just be with you.

When the event ends, he's following behind his mom and aunt, keeping eyes on them to make sure they don't get lost in the crowd. He runs into your family exiting through the next set of double doors on his left and waves. Amidst the crowd chaos, he manages to say hi to your family and give them hugs before introducing his mom and his aunt— excusing himself shortly afterwards so he can run to the bathroom and be back before heading outside. It's a bit of a line, but Yunho waits patiently so he doesn't have to run off while he's with you. When he's done and making his way back outside, he still has to navigate through the crowds to get to your family and his family hanging out in an open area; almost running into another person just as he's about to make it over to the spot.

"Y-Yunho?" She almost comes face to face with his chest when she abruptly turns, trying to navigate her way through the crowd.

"Hayun?"

"Hey, nice to see you here?" She questions, unsure what Yunho would be doing here. It's been awhile, but from what she remembered, he was never into these things. She does a once-over and gives him a tiny smile, slightly ogling at how good he looks after all these years. He is glowing.

"Uh, yeah." He isn't really sure what to say since last time, she acted weird about seeing him. Maybe she had no choice but to greet him; she damn near ran straight into this chest. Still. It's a bit awkward, but it's nice to see she's at least well. "What're you doing here?"

"Well, I was on break, I'm leaving late tonight. My cousin performed with one of the groups. I don't know if you remember her, Soojin?" He nods.

"I do remember her. I guess she's grown well? I clearly didn't recognize her on the stage." She chuckles before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What're you doing here?"

"My girlfriend competed, too. Her family's here, my family. She was in the group that placed first." He looks over his shoulder before looking back down at her.

"Oh, that's sweet."

"Yeah." He clears his throat. "Anyway, I hope everything's been good with you. I hope you have a safe flight back, too."

"Thanks, and same." She nods. "I hope your mom and aunt are okay."

"They are. Thanks. Should probably get back to them." He gives off a small smile and a curt nod before turning on his heel to find his family, your family and everyone else. He sees Chaery and Seungmin come out from the side door before you and Soobin follow. He can see you searching high and low for him and it makes his heart flip.

"Yunho!" You squeal when you finally find him in the sea of people. You instantly run over, jumping into his arms while he holds onto you tightly.

"There she is." He says. "Hi baby." He says against your head. Hayun smiles to herself when she sees the moment you two share, quickly reminiscing about the times her and Yunho had in the past. But, in the end, she's happy that he's found someone and that he's genuinely happy. Yunho deserved it.

"Hi." You giggle, pulling back slightly to kiss him on the lips.

"You did amazing, love." He gently puts you down.

"Did I?! Do these look like the steps of a first place winner?" You do a silly little dance, making him laugh before pulling you for another kiss.

"Yeah, they do. Steps from the best, actually." You laugh and playfully pinch his arm.

"Goodjob, Y/N! You did great up there!" His mom and aunt say, followed by your family. You greet all of them one by one, giving them hugs and thanking them for coming— especially Yunho's mom and aunt for tagging along. It seems that your family and his were already kicking it off, your dad offering for them to join dinner along with Chaery, Soobin and Seungmin's family.

"Yes, please come to dinner with us!" You squeeze his mom's hand with a smile. She nods and pulls you in for another hug, the four of you walking alongside each other while your family, Chaery's, Soobin's and Seungmin's walked ahead. You and his mom talk a bit about your dance journey as you walk along before you get into the car with Soobin, Seungmin and Chaery; letting everyone know you'll meet them at the restaurant nearby.

You assume most of your group will end up at the same restaurant, and it ends up being true for the most part. Once the four of you unload and start heading inside, you run into Yeonjun and Jongho with their families. The restaurant ends up escorting everyone to the back area where most of the tables are available for bigger groups, and instantly gets to work on providing drinks and small appetizers for everyone to enjoy while looking at the menu. On your left is Chaery, while Yunho is on your right; the both of them cracking jokes with each other while the families order the main courses for tonight.

"Yuyu, how do you feel about graduation coming up?"

"I don't know. Good, for the most part."

"Dude, it's gonna be so different! Have you already applied to internships and jobs?"

"Yeah, I have. Got a few interviews coming up in the next few weeks."

"Good shit!" Chaery claps. "Your man is gonna be so prepared for the world." She nudges you on the side, making you giggle.

"I know, right?"

"Seriously, it's nothing. I don't wanna have a huge gap. I just wanna get into it, I guess."

"That's really good, though. Do you plan to have a party or anything?" He cocks a brow up and points at himself.

"Me?"

"Yes!"

"No, god no." Yunho laughs. "I'm very much good off of a party."

"What if we threw you one at the apartment? Or took you out to the club?!"

"No, don't do that. I promise, I'm good."

"Babe, we're gonna have to at least do dinner or something." He looks down at you with a fond smile before placing a chaste kiss to the side of your head.

"If you want."

"It's your graduation!" You laugh.

"Yeah, and quite frankly, I'd rather much just spend the night with you doing other things." He says lowly near your ear, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks while you subtly nibble on your bottom lip.

"Cute, dinner sounds nice and cozy." Chaery adds. "But since you don't plan to celebrate with a party—" She leans over to look at her parents. "Mom, dad, Yunho's graduating soon! Can we order some dessert?"

"That's a good idea. Should we order some dessert to celebrate early?" Yunho's ears turn red as he shakes his head and refuses.

"No, no! It's okay! We don't have to—"

"Yeah, let's order some dessert!" Your dad agrees, along with the rest of the table. Your dad calls over the waitress to add dessert to the order for the entire table, reassuring Yunho's mom and aunt that they didn't need to worry about dinner [or dessert] tonight.

"Thank you." He says shyly.

"So, Yunho. Have you been getting ready for graduation and everything?" Yunho nods, essentially telling your family [and everyone else] what he told Chaery and how he just wants to get right into working after graduation. Mainly, Yunho wants to do this for his mom and aunt, but also for you. Because life includes you now; all about you.

Once the food arrives, everyone takes turns and rotates the dishes amongst each other before setting it down in the middle of the table for seconds and so on. Yunho doesn't even help himself first and decides to serve you some food before tending to himself. Dinner goes on happily, with everyone in good spirits and conversing in between bites about school and upcoming summer plans. Seungmin's dad mentions camping and how he wants to coordinate something for the group this summer, knowing the perfect campsite about 3 hours away that resides right by a lake. He invites Yunho, his mom and his aunt, reassuring them that they'd enjoy it over there, too.

Yunho slightly nudges you and smiles while drinking his water, leaning closer to you just as he sets the glass back down.

"Any other plans for the summer, love?"

"Not that I know of. Maybe I'll get myself a little summer job, too.

"Mm, maybe I can help fill the rest of your schedule up? If you're okay with that?"

"If you won't be too busy working!"

"I won't be. I'll always make time for you, you know that, right?" He gives you a soft look. "Plus, while we still have the time open, I wanna plan something and take you somewhere."

"Like where?" He shrugs.

"Somewhere where we can't drive to."

"Oh, like an actual trip-trip?!"

"Yup."

"Eep, where!" You squeal and he chuckles.

"I'll figure it out. Leave it up to me, hm?"

"I'm actually so lucky, it's insane." Yunho laughs a little louder at the compliment while shaking his head, digging into the last bits of his food.

"I feel the same. But, I really just wanna spend as much time with you as I can."

"Sounds like it'll be a good summer for us." You eat up the rest of your food before setting your plate aside nicely. "Babe, are you sure you're okay to drive after? Do you want me to come, or do you want me to drive your mom and aunt back?"

"I would never in a million years let you drive alone like that."

"But, you're tired." You pout.

"Mm, all worth it though. Cause we got to see you guys win, plus I get cake." You laugh.

"I knew you wanted the cake." He playfully shushes you. "I can come along, though!"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" You whine. "Just tell me you don't want me around, jeez." He smirks.

"That's never the case. I just know you'll be tired and I want you to rest. Promise I'll be good, okay?"

"Can I wait for you at your spot, then?"

"Of course you can. Yeo's gonna be home by the time we get back."

"Perfect, I'll bother him 'till you come." He gives you another big smile just as the dessert makes its way to the table. Everyone loudly cheers for the group's win today, along with congratulating Yunho for graduation coming up. You look at him in pure admiration when he blushes and respectfully thanks everyone for the cake and greetings.

And it's that moment when you catch the sparkle in his eyes, the glow, the warmth radiating from him. It's not that Yunho didn't have all these things in the beginning; they were there, just dim. Not as bright, not as warm. Over time, he's grown and blossomed into one of the most important people in your life, someone everyone clearly adored and cherished.

That might've been the moment that changed the trajectory of everything for you two because it finally clicked that he was who you wanted— back then, now, in the future.

You love Yunho; really, really love Yunho.

Everything about him brings pure love, genuine happiness and safety. Three important factors that you longed for in a relationship, but were never familiar with until Yunho came around.

The rest of dinner goes on well, with everyone fighting to pay the bill before it eventually settles between your family and Chaery's. Everyone walks alongside of each other before parting to their own cars and preparing to make their journey back home. Before you part ways with Yunho, his mom and aunt, you give them a big, tight hug before giving Yunho a quick peck on the lips. You look him dead in the eye and make him promise that he'd be absolutely okay to drive back and forth, and that he'd stay behind if he really couldn't make it back. He gives you a smug smirk, making you pinch him on the arm before bidding your last farewell to his family. You follow suit with your own family, your dad hopping into his car while your mom and sister drove together.

The ride back home is fairly calm, with Soobin in the driver's seat. There's the occasional bickering between Seungmin and Chaery, but otherwise, everyone is busy recounting the day and discussing the different groups and their pieces. Surprisingly, you're all still energetic throughout the entire ride; not one person complaining about being tired or wanting to catch up on sleep.

It does change once you finally arrive home and set your things aside, immediately putting the flowers into a free vase with some water. Soobin plops onto the couch face down as he claims he's exhausted from all the driving, while Seungmin sits on the floor beside him. You hurry into the bathroom and take a quick shower so Chaery can follow and get comfortable. You throw on some comfortable clothes and unpack your things and clean up around your area of the room before heading over to Yunho and Yeosang's for the evening. You say your goodnight's to your roommates before walking over, your Uggs making a loud noise as you drag them across the concrete. When you arrive at the unit, the kitchen lights are on, but you can barely hear a peep through the other side of the door. You knock a few times before Yeosang is coming to the door in his tank top and sweats.

"Hey hey!"

"Oh, hey! I heard you placed first! Congrats!" Yeosang pulls you into a hug before stepping aside to let you in. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"He's dropping off his mom and aunt, then he'll come back."

"They came to the competition, too?"

"Yeah, they did!" You respond as you walk into Yunho's room, with Yeo following and leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed tightly against his chest.

"Damn, what a drive. Sorry I couldn't make it. It was my baby cousin's birthday party."

"No, it's okay! You didn't miss much anyway."

"I missed my friends placing first, so yeah." You give him a tiny smile and shake your head.

"There's still next year. You have plenty of other opportunities to come when you aren't busy!"

"You're right."

"If you really wanna make up for it though, you can keep me company while I wait for Yunho." He laughs and nods.

"Yeah, of course. What do you have in mind?" He follows you out to the living room.

"I don't know. Maybe we can just watch a random movie? He'll be back by the time it's over, hopefully."

"Gotta watch a long one. Like Lord of the Rings or something. Star Wars. Avengers: Endgame."

"Ou, I'm down for some Avengers."

"Cool." You lay on the couch with the blanket wrapped around you while Yeosang sits on the floor, navigating through the movies before he lands on the Avengers. The both of you quietly begin the movie, with Yeosang reciting very random facts about the Avengers. You respond with follow-up questions, allowing Yeosang to do a deep dive. It's not until about an hour and a half in that you feel the exhaustion hitting you; eyes and body suddenly feeling heavy.

"You get what I'm saying right?" Yeosang asks, but doesn't receive a response. "Y/N?" He calls for you, only to turn over his shoulder and see you fast asleep. He chuckles to himself before returning his attention to the TV, turning down the volume so that it isn't too loud for you.

In the next 45 minutes, Yunho quietly walks into the apartment, seeing you fast asleep on the couch while Yeosang continues to watch TV on the floor— the movie no longer on. He smirks at Yunho before turning back to check on you, a silent chuckle leaving his lips.

"She's been asleep?" Yunho whispers while crouching to your level.

"Yeah, she fell asleep a bit ago. Didn't realize until I asked her a question about the movie we were watching and I didn't get a response." Yunho quietly laughs a bit. "I didn't wanna just leave her here, though."

"I'll bring her in. Thanks for keeping her company."

"You must be exhausted with all the back and forth driving today."

"Fuck yeah, I am. But, as long as my mom's happy and she's happy." Yunho smiles at you, brushing the hair away from your face.

"Alright, well, I'm good off of this show." Yunho turns to the TV seeing it randomly stationed a cooking show.

"Okay Chef Boyardee." Yeosang snorts before gently tapping the couch and standing.

"Gotta do better before we get into the real world, am I right?" He salutes. "I'm off." Yunho bids him farewell before returning his attention to you. You haven't budged, and Yunho can tell how exhausted you are by the way your lips poke out into a pout, soft snores in between each breath.

"Baby. I'm gonna carry you to the bed, okay?" He whispers. You let out a sound that makes Yunho giggle to himself before he scoops you up into his arms and holds you tightly.

"I could've walked." You suddenly blurt out.

"Dunno cutie, you were pretty knocked out." He smiles at you. "It's okay. You had a long day."

"So did you."

"I don't care about me, I care about you." He chuckles, gently laying you down on the bed. "I need to take a shower, I'll be back." You quietly nod and turn to your side, too exhausted to fight for him to stay and be needy. He heads to the shower and lets the hot water cascade down his body, feeling the exhaustion finally catch up to him. Although he tends to think he's pretty selfless, he didn't think he'd be driving from home to catch a performance, dropping his family off then driving back to the apartment all in a day. But, he couldn't care less because he wanted to do this for you, and he wanted to see you happy. There's nothing that satisfies Yunho more than seeing you smile.

He lets out a heavy sigh when he hops out and runs the towel through his wet hair, turning on the hair dryer to dry it off completely. He gets himself ready for bed, walking out in a plain shirt and pajama bottoms to finally slip in next to you. You instantly turn and throw your arm over him the moment you feel the bed dip, Yunho chuckling to himself when he pulls you close.

"Yuyu."

"Mhm sleepyhead?"

"You're graduating soon."

"I am."

"I'm proud of you."

"Thank you. I gotta say I'm proud of me, too." You both laugh a bit.

"What's gonna happen with us?"

"Nothing." He smiles. "I'll still be here. You'll still be here. I'll find myself a good job and hope I'll be able to provide for you more."

"You already give me a lot." You softly say, eyes still closed as you lay on his chest.

"Not enough."

"Hm." You hum. "You're enough."

"I appreciate that, love. But, you really do deserve the world and I'm trying to get you that, okay? Let me." You giggle.

"You're the best."

"Baby?"

"Yes?"

"You see us being together for a long time, right?" He asks, because even though he's confident in your relationship, he still likes to be reassured. Because god, does he truly see his life with you. It hasn't been long but there is not one bone in his body that makes him think otherwise. He wants to build with you, grow with you, be with you all the time. He wants nothing but you, and he's so, so sure of it.

"Of course."

"Even living together in the future and doing all that crazy stuff grownups do?" You laugh.

"Yes."

"Okay." He kisses your forehead.

"Do you want that with me, Yunho?"

"Yeah. I do, Y/N." You sleepily smile against him and hug him tighter, not wanting to let him go.

"I like that." He leaves a soft, feathery kiss against your lips before holding you closer than he ever could, shutting his own eyes to finally get some sleep.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunhotteokkk @yungigiggles @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @emily505 @mgdixon @mcsalterego @cheynalexilaiho @svintsandghosts @mismatchfluffysocks @meeitany @au-ghosttype

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gretavangroupie · 4 months ago

Text

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 9)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader, Jake Kiszka, x OC

Word Count: 17.6k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Lying, Allusions to cheating, Deceit, Arguing, Yelling, Mental and Emotional Manipulation, Vulnerability, Kissing and Sexual Themes.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

A/N: The final chapter! Thanks so much for sticking this one out with us. Major shout out to @gretavanmoon who bore the brunt of this last chapter as I experienced some mental burnout. This wouldn't have happened without her fierce dedication to this story. I hope you love the end of this story, and keep your eye out for what we are cooking up next.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

JAKE POV

Your clenched fists are still resting on the cold metal elevator doors, your forehead falling down to join them. Fuck. Fuck fuck…everything is fucking ruined for real, now. Why did you have to let your urges get the best of you last night? Everything you could have had…

Your fists pound a few more times as you hear a commotion in the hallway behind you, realizing that a few people had now joined you in the quiet corridor. You pull away from the elevator doors to gather your thoughts, the rage rushing through your bloodstream as you pace the hardwood floors. You’re mad. You’re so fucking mad. At everyone, and at everything. But mostly, you’re disappointed in yourself.

“What the fuck do I do now?” you murmur as the strangers board the elevator, giving you a few tight smiles and nods as the doors close on them. You feel like you could take on a hundred men, let your fists fly and your tongue shoot daggers at anyone who dared walk past you. But you know that’s not you. It’s just the adrenaline, the disappointment, the regret…

Angry tears are pricking at your eyes as you rush back to the room, feeling as if you could walk right through the wall. This is it, it’s all over. No more. It’s done.

You force the door open and hear it hit the wall behind it, finding Isla still wrapped up in the bed sheets as she stands beside the bed, your phone in her hand.

“Isla, what the fuck are you doing?” you shout, feeling your face grow hot. Her mouth is gaping open, the look on her face one you’re oh-so familiar with. “Is that my phone?”

She turns the screen to face you, showing you the photo that you had taken of Y/N in that not so innocent position a couple of weeks ago, with yourself buried inside her. You rip the phone from her hand, completely embarrassed for yourself, and for her.

“Real fucking classy, Jacob. And I went through your texts with her, too! What the fuck?! You were lying to me all along ! This whole time!” she screams, pulling the sheets up over her chest.

You can hardly see straight. Your vision is blurry and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. Your hands go numb and you feel your face absolutely burning with wild rage.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Isla?!” You scream, feeling as if your voice isn’t your own. You squeeze your phone in your hand before launching it across the room, watching as it smacks hard against the wall, leaving a mark in the drywall before it falls to the wooden floor.

“That is a complete invasion of privacy! I did not give you permission to do that! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” you shout, letting your hands come up and cover your eyes. You can’t even bear to look at her anymore. “You know what? Get out. Get the fuck out of my room. Now.”

Your chest is heaving and you can hear her starting to mope, letting out exasperated breaths as you hear her throw the sheets back onto the bed. You finally uncover your eyes but you still can’t see straight, you’re so blinded with rage. You busy yourself with whatever the fuck you can do while Isla gets dressed, haphazardly throwing her things into her bag as she barks out bursts of bitchiness again.

“How fucking could you, Jake? After all we had, after all this… I came here for you, you slept with me, and now I find out you’ve been fucking her all along?!”

“I told you I was sleeping with her, Isla! Goddamnit! You asked, and I told you… I don’t know what the fuck else you want me to say. I didn’t… I didn’t mean for last night to happen, you know that always fucking happens with us, and I regret it, already. All of it…”

You hear the sobs come through her nose as she stuffs her things in her bags. “Where the fuck do you want me to go Jake?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know. I don’t really care, at this point. I didn’t even invite you here,” you shoot back, almost defeatedly.

She huffs a sarcastic laugh. “Just like you… have sex with me, really good sex with me… then toss me away after. That’s all you’ve ever wanted me for, anyway. Just a good fuck. Nothing’s ever gonna change with you, is it? You’re always gonna be a fucking jerk…” she rambles, reigniting that flame in your chest. You step closer to her, close enough to feel her breath on your face.

“Don’t you ever accuse me of that, Isla,” you growl through gritted teeth. “Do not ever fucking take it there. That could not be further from the truth, and you fucking know it.” If you weren’t blind with rage before, you sure as hell are now, accusing you of only ever wanting her for that.

She picks up her phone and taps around the screen. “You’re the love of my life, Jake. But I swear to god I question why I’m even with you every single day…” she pulls the phone up to her ear.

“We aren’t together, Isla! You need to get that through your head!” you yell, raising your hands up in the air. “Please, get the fuck out of my room!”

She puts her phone onto speaker and you hear Lyla’s voice on the other end.

“Hey, Ly? I’m coming to your room. What’s the number?” you hear her throw on her fake tears as she speaks. She throws her bag strap over her shoulder as she brushes past you. “No, I’m not fine, I just need to get the fuck away from him for a minute.”

A minute… A minute?!

Is this ever going to fucking end?

On her last word, the door slams in your face. You stand in the middle of the room, catching the breath that you’d essentially been holding for the past five minutes. You can feel a cold sweat beading up on your face as you replay everything that happened and all the horrible decisions you’ve made. The look on Y/N’s face just now… All of it came rushing back as you felt so out of control of your life, you nearly blacked out with regret. Regret for even saying yes to that date with Isla all those years ago. Regret for allowing her to stay here this long, and using her as a toy to make Y/N jealous. But mostly for what you did last night. Stupid, stupid.

The thought of having sex with her last night churns your stomach, and that’s how you know for a fact that you never want to have her in that way ever again. No matter how well you mesh together in that capacity. The way you feel when you’re with Y/N trumps it altogether, the emotions she drags from you outshining everything you ever had with Isla by a landslide.

Suddenly, things make a little bit of sense. Suddenly, a tiny bit of clarity hits your swirling mind. You feel as though you could harness all of the negative feelings harboring themselves within you right now, march downstairs and find Y/N, throwing everything to the wayside as you confess your feelings for her. Tell her exactly how you feel. God damnit, do you…? No, the feeling is too strong. It’s more than that. It’s an overwhelming feeling of respect for everything that she is, everything that she ever will be. All the beauty she naturally carries and the pride she has within herself. And you’re fucking whipped for her.

But you don’t even deserve to give her that satisfaction. She deserves the world. She deserves you at your best, rid of all your demons and baggage and horrible moods. And way deep down, deeper than it’s even comfortable enough to think about, you know that Murph is probably giving that to her. He’s probably giving her fun, and comfort, and making her laugh… He’s probably loving her just the way she should be loved, the way you could be loving her.

That realization doesn’t help the fact that you feel like pressing your boot against his face, though.

You walk over and pick your phone up from the floor, already expecting the worst. It’s cracked and damaged, the screen resembling a perfect spider web on the corner. “Goddamnit,” you breathe as you fall back down onto the bed. Just as you’re catching your breath, the alarm on your phone goes off, letting you know that you have a smooth fifteen minutes to get dressed and downstairs to meet the rest of the guys to head to soundcheck.

You wonder what Y/N is doing right now. Is she crying, still? Or is she with Murph, letting him comfort her for something he has absolutely nothing to do with? The whole thing puts another sickening feeling in your stomach as you run your hand over your face, knowing that you need to take the fastest shower known to man.

Your phone dings with another notification, and you’re surprised the thing even wants to make noise right now. You look down to see Josh’s name in the groupchat. You carefully slide your thumb across the shattered screen, cursing yourself for not putting a protector on it while you had the chance.

Josh

9:46AM: Good morning bitches! It’s a beautiful day! Get your asses downstairs

You roll your eyes at his positivity as you drag your body up to stand. As you make your way into the bathroom and start the shower, you hear your phone sound with a different notification.

The screen is lit up with something that used to bring you so much joy, but now seems to be a vessel for communication that sends a wave of sadness straight to your gut.

‘Y/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

A song you hadn’t even thought about since high school, ‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt.

She didn’t want to talk. This is her way of telling you to stay away.

You let your phone fall back down onto the counter as you listen to the song play out, already dreading the fact that your day is only going to get much, much worse.

—

HER POV

Your entire body feels numb as you rush out of the elevator door, your eyes blurred and sticky from fighting back tears once again.

How fucking could he? Is everyone lying to you? He must really still love Isla, nothing makes any fucking sense…

You’re pacing down the ground floor hall to your room, hoping to the heavens that you don’t run into anyone along the way. You bring your hands up to cover your face, your frozen fingertips burning against the warmth of your face. It’s almost as if the rage you feel has manifested itself, ready to fly free as you replay the scene you’d just walked in on over and over in your mind.

Isla is so gorgeous… perfect in every sense of the word. Of course he slept with her, how could he not? The look on his face once he realized it was you washed over you again and again, embarrassed and ashamed, already mourning every single thought of what could have been.

You didn’t want to see him. You didn’t want to speak to him. Ever again. You pulled out your phone and pulled up the music app, opening your shared playlist and adding the only song that you can think of at the time that would get straight to the point of telling him not to bother you anymore. Don’t Speak.

It felt sudden, it felt jolting… especially considering the rollercoaster of emotions the two of you had shared since he made this playlist on the plane. So many ups and downs in so little time. You had to give him that, at least. He’s made you feel more than anyone else has in a long, long time.

Like an old friend you truly didn’t want to see, someone presented themselves in front of you, grabbing at your arms with their strong, steady hands. Even through the blurriness of your tears and the racking of sobs in your chest, you knew that it was Ezra.

“Baby, whoa whoa, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he begged as you cursed him for happening to find you in the hallway. “Come here, why are you crying?” he asks, trying his best to take you in his arms.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, Murph. I just– I’m fine, promise!” You try to play it off by sounding more sincere than the situation constituted, but there was no way you could divulge the actual reason for your unhappiness.

“No you aren’t, baby… Tell me, you want me to walk you back to your room?” he purred, his normally gruff voice now calm and comforting.

“No, I swear, I’m just having a moment. But thank you, I’m–I’m almost there, anyway…” his arms were gently wrapped around you as you finally met his eyes, pleading and full of so much worry that it almost made you cry even harder. This sweet, sweet man, caring so much as to stop what he was doing and console you.

The two of you walk a few paces more in the direction you’d been headed, his body language telling you that he was still yet very concerned. “You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks, his deep brown eyes scanning yours.

You purse your lips, using both hands to wipe away the remnant tears as you try to dry yourself up. “I just… can’t.”

He nods slowly, “Alright, babe.” He cups your face, using both thumbs to wipe away your tears as he bends down to your level. “You don’t have to tell me… let’s just get you back inside, okay?”

You nod, letting him pull you further down the hall. “This the room?” he asks.

“Yeah, this one here,” you say as you pull your room key from your pocket. You unlock and open the door, wanting nothing more than to crash into the room and cry alone in peace. Murph stands at the doorway, not wanting to be too forward and let himself all the way in, all the while still wearing that horrified look of worry.

You turn to him, placing a soft hand to his chest. “Thanks, Murph. I promise, I’m fine. I’m just being a girl, ya know. Hormones and stress and whatnot,” you lie, making you feel the strangest sense of guilt.

His soft smile makes butterflies erupt in your stomach, his strong arms reaching all the way around you and embracing you in a warm and comforting hug. “I had a really good time, last night. Been thinkin’ about you all morning, thought about you all night…” he says softly. “Just kinda threw me for a loop when I saw you crying, after I left you that note I just thought–”

“Well you thought wrong,” you interrupted him. “That was the sweetest thing to wake up to. I was actually really upset that you’d left so early…”

He smiles again, this time with a bit more relief. “Really? I mean, I’m sorry… duty called and I just couldn’t wake you up. You looked so pretty and peaceful,” his words are soft as he pulls a few strands of hair behind your ear. “You sure you aren’t mad at something I did? You don’t regret last night?”

You shake your head, feeling a little clarity. “No. No regrets.” His sweetness makes you want to melt into a puddle. You’ve really never had someone show affection in the same manner as Murph. “I’ll see you later?” you ask as he steps back from the threshold.

“Yeah, babe. Hope you feel better.” And with a sweet wink, he’s disappearing back down the hall.

You feel hysterical as you fall face-first into your bed sheets, letting the tears you held back find their place in your eyes once again. You don’t really deserve to cry, as you’ve found another route of happiness in Murph, but still yet, you allow yourself to be upset at the fact that Jake had the audacity to be intimate with Isla again after so much time telling you how much he didn’t want her anymore.

So you cried, for a long while you cried… before you decided all of your tears were being wasted on something you had no business being upset about. You drag yourself from the bed and begin running a bath, throwing in a few pumps of body wash to make a bubble bath. You toss your clothes onto the floor and test the temperature, finding it to be perfectly scalding hot.

As you let your muscles sink down into the velvety smooth bubbles and hot water, you realize that you haven’t even told Ruth about your night with Murph, yet. You dial a FaceTime call, propping your phone safely behind a few bottles as you cover your exposed self with the white fluffy bubbles.

“Hey bitch. Oh my god, are you naked?!” she wails when you finally see her face lighting up the screen.

“No, Ruth, I have my clothes on in the bathtub. Yes, I’m naked you idiot,” you reply with a laugh as you pull your hair on top of your head.

“Ugh, I love you but I don’t love you that much. Anyway, what’s up? Why is your face red?” she asks as she crunches down on a baby carrot.

You just stare at her on the screen, waiting for her to read your mind.

“Have you been crying? You’ve been crying, why? What happened? Assface Jerkhead Guitar boy? Don’t tell me Muscles Van Gorgeous made you mad… which one? Which one’s life am I sabotaging?” she asked in succession, making a smile find your face for the first time in a day.

“Neither Ruth, neither…” you sighed. “I just… I finally hooked up with Murph last night.”

“Oh my GOD! You’re kidding. Fuck yes, okay… how was it? Where? After the concert?” she asks as she adjusts herself in her seat and pulls her feet up underneath her.

“Yes, after the concert. We had an excellent time… and I managed to make Jake jealous, somehow. He was with Isla of course, and I guess he saw me and Murph getting comfy and he fucking texted me, Ruth. Asking me what the hell I thought I was doing?” Your hand flew up into the air above the bubbles as you spoke. “Anyway, I ignored him. And me and Murph kinda… had a rendezvous in his truck in the parking garage of the hotel.”

“You sly bitch…” she growls cutting her eyes. “Okay, and how was it? Was he everything you ever dreamed of?”

You nodded hard. “Yeah, he was…” you filled your cheeks up with air. “Fucking great, honestly. He’s so nice and sweet, but I could tell he has another side about him, ya know?”

“He a freak, ain’t he? Tell me he a freakkkkk, Y/N…”

You laugh. “I don’t know about that, but he definitely isn’t vanilla, thank god. Anyway umm… So this morning, I remembered that Jake added a song to the playlist last night that was basically saying he didn’t want to fight. And I didn’t either. So I decided that I would go and try to clear the air with him while Isla was there, there was no way I was going to leave things like they were. So, I went down into the lobby and got coffee for him and Isla. I was just going to drop it off and do my due diligence and apologize… leave it at that so they could go on with their lives.”

“You got her a coffee?! Okay, ballsy! I hope you spit in it…”

“RUTH ANN! Take that back!” you yell, letting it echo through the bathroom.

She shrugs. “I’m just sayin’. Continue…”

“Annnnnyways, Isla opened the door, and she was standing there, half naked and wrapped up in their bedsheets. Jake was um. Getting dressed behind her.” You feel a bit sorry for yourself as you pick up some bubbles in your palm, blowing them into the air and watching as they fall, joining the others in the sea of soapy white suds.

“That dog.” Ruth growls. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Nope.”

“So what did you do?” she asks, sounding a bit defeated herself as she cupped her chin in her hands.

You sigh hard as you rub your wet hands over your face. “I put the coffees down, stormed off, added “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt to the playlist so he would get the message to leave me the hell alone, and then Murph found me in the hall. Saw me crying. Thought he’d done something wrong.”

“No, not my sweetums Erza! He could never! Did you tell him he was perfect and beautiful and kiss him?”

You laugh at her ability to always keep things so lighthearted. “Yes, well kind of. I told him that I was just being a crazy woman with crazy woman feelings. Bless his heart, he is the actual sweetest. Anyways, now I’m calling you.”

“So, you’re pissed. And you’re crying. So what are we gonna do?” she presses.

You sigh, your mind traveling a million miles a minute as you wish you could just pull the drain and let yourself flow down the pipes with your bathwater. “I don’t know, Ruth. I tried, I really did.”

“Okay, here’s the plan,” she brushes her hands against one another. “Murph has done nothing wrong, right? He’s innocent, here. Maybe he deserves all of your attention.”

“Yeah but I don’t want to even associate with the male species right now, Ruth! I hate them all,” you bellow through a fake forced laugh.

“Okay. So just keep doing your job and try your best and just see how everything goes. But don’t be a bitch to Murphy, he gives good D and we want to keep that momentum,” she says.

You cover your face with your hands again. “Ruth, I swear to god… Ugh. Listen, I have to get out of here and get dressed. See what other fresh hell awaits me at this next show.”

“Ok, boss. Clean it up, add more feminine energy songs onto the playlist. Maybe some Alanis Morrissette or Fiona Apple perhaps? Little Miranda Lambert? Let him know that you are a bad bitch that don’t need no man?”

“I’m hanging up Ruth! Love you!”

“Adios, whore!!!” she yells back as you reach up and press the red button, taking a breath before pulling the plug of the tub. You realize it’s time to put on your game face, deciding that making it through these next few shows without another damned argument was going to prove more difficult than you anticipated.

—

JAKE POV

Though your mind feels like mush, your hands feel like they’re razor sharp, going through the motions of soundcheck with ease. Sam’s only shot you a couple of side-eyes as he apparently has picked up on your bad mood, but you hope that he brushes it off.

You’d spent the majority of soundcheck eyeballing the crew from behind your tinted glasses, watching as Murph is hovering a lot differently than he normally is. That’s interesting…

Your suspicions are justified as you watch Y/N walk past him in a hurry, and his entire body lights up as he turns into her, resting his hand quickly on her lower waist as she giggles and pulls his hand away. Nail, meet coffin.

Fuck. Yeah. They…

Danny was right. They definitely slept together. You can see it in their body language. God damnit.

But, what the hell are you gonna say? You have no dog in that fight. You think about asking her about it, being transparent in the matter, now knowing that she knows you slept with Isla. You truly think about it as you slip your guitar strap over your head and hand it back to your tech, watching her intently from across the large room as she does her duties.

“Hey, man. C’mere a second,” you hear Sam’s hushed voice in your ear. You’re snapped from your thoughts as you follow behind him, wondering what the hell he needs to talk about. He turns to make sure you’re behind him and you flash him a puzzled look, so he lifts his hand up and nods for you to just follow.

You follow him to the side doors and outside, watching as he stands with his back against the wall of the building. He fishes his hand in his pocket and pulls out his smokes, lighting one and inhaling a puff more quickly than he usually would. You close in on him, his eyes working to search around to make sure you’re alone. He looks a bit anxious as he offers you a hit.

“What’s up?” you ask him, your heart rate picking up a little as you lift your sunglasses to your head. His face is contorted and panicked, something you rarely see out of him, especially right before a show. “You alright?”

His smoke blows quickly from in front of his face as you inhale some yourself. “Yeah, ahh, no… not really? Need your advice again, I think… Remember when I busted into your room that night drunk off my ass and chattering on about… ya know….”

You nod slowly, recounting the night all too well. “I remember.”

He clenches his jaw together as his eyes continue to scan. “It’s gotten worse, man. I dunno, Lyla is just… urgh, she’s grating on my nerves. I don’t know what it is lately, but it’s like we’re suddenly two completely different people. We argue a lot, we never agree on anything… She's one person with me, and a complete other in front of everyone else. She makes me feel so guilty, man. Wants to settle down and start a family and shit when that was the first thing we talked about when we got together, that I can’t promise that stuff right now. She makes me resent myself, our careers, being with you guys… I get no support whatsoever, anymore. And it always feels like she’s hiding something from me. Completely different wavelengths. And it’s like I don’t even wanna be around her… I swear I’ve kinda almost lost…”

“Lost all attraction to her?” you finish for him.

He nods. “Yeah. Exactly. Isn’t that awful of me? Like why did this happen out of nowhere?”

You ponder his question, sympathizing with him more than he even knows. “It probably didn’t come out of nowhere, Sam. It’s probably been festering for a while.” You eye him as you pass his cigarette back.

He shuffles his feet around as the wind picks up. “Is this how you feel with Isla?” he mumbles.

“Yeah, kinda, but worse. Like, way, way worse. And I kinda fucked it up even more last night…” you admit, suddenly feeling like you had to tell somebody.

“Oh no, what did you do?”

You swallow harshly, the memories of your lips all over her body last night now making you feel sick all over again. You look back up to him with eager, telling eyes.

“No, Jake. You didn’t. You slept with her? After all–”

“Yeah, Sam, fuck. I did. It was a complete moment of weakness. I swear, I don’t know what it is about her, but she lures me back in every single fucking time, and I hate it. I swear, I hate it. I hate myself for it. But it happened, and I regret everything about it. And then Y/N fucking had to walk into my room this morning and see Isla half fucking naked…”

“Ohhhh my god, no!” Sam yells with a little bit of a smile on his face, his hand shooting up to cover his mouth. “You’re kidding me, wow.”

“Yeah. Yeah, laugh all you want. I royally fucked everything up so horribly I don’t even know what to do with myself,” you wave a hand in his face as you physically feel the pressure on your shoulders.

“Damn,” he finally relents, “You are worse off than I am. Sorry.”

You take a deep breath, shaking away the negative thoughts and feelings. “S’alright, I guess.”

“You ever think that Ly and Isla are like, master conspirators but also just like… are trying to lock us down or something?” he asks, his question actually throwing you for a loop.

“What do you mean?” you ask, running the dead cigarette butt along the concrete to extinguish it.

“I don’t know. Since we’ve been on this tour, don’t you feel like things have changed with those two? I mean they’ve been best friends since they could walk, and everything with you and Isla back home, now she is acting almost just the same? Doesn’t it feel a little bit strange to you? Almost like they plan on making sure of the fact that they’re going to be here for the long haul?” he says. The thought hadn’t really crossed your mind, much, but now that he mentions it…

Sam always has had a way with seeing the end results of a situation before they even play out, picking up on people’s intentions before they even portray them. It kind of all makes sense, though. The two of them planning Isla’s trip here behind your backs, both of them being extremely needy but ignorant to the fact that you and Sam are inherently becoming more and more unhappy, not caring one bit about the state of your wants and needs…

It suddenly all makes sense.

“Have you been being careful, Sam…” you say without an ounce of question in your voice.

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“Good. I think you might be onto something… some stupid master plan that they have going, something just feels off,” you say, turning your back to the wind.

“It most definitely does. And honestly, I don’t think Mia has a damn thing to do with it,” he says.

You shake your head. “Me neither.”

“Are we crazy?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“No. I think we should trust our guts. I already told Isla to get the fuck away from me this morning and go find you guys… Who knows where she even ended up,” you move to make your way back inside.

“They ran off. Haven’t seen them since,” he says as he follows you. “I do think you should go and talk to Y/N, though.”

You stop in your tracks, hearing him suggest that. “What? Why?”

“Because, stupid, you really like her. And I really like her. And I’m sorry I caused that big dramatic episode back in Ireland. That was uncalled for. But you should go clear it up, she might appreciate you being forward about it.”

The thought alone makes your joints feel stiff, the dread weighing heavily on you. Maybe you should…

“I think she’s cozied up to Murph, now. Not sure she’d even want to be in my presence if she didn’t have to be,” you whisper as you reenter the main part of the building. Your face grows hot at the mention of Murph’s name, still feeling that deep residual jealousy.

“You might be surprised,” he shrugs. “Seems to me like you guys just used other people for retaliation. That alone has to mean something.”

Just like the universe had stepped in when you needed it least, you turn the corner and run right into Y/N. “Oh, fuck, sorry,” you apologize as she nearly drops the pile of towels in her hands. You watch as Sam walks away behind her, mouthing ‘perfect timing!’.

“Don’t worry about it,” she barks as she tries to keep making her way past you.

“Hey, Y/N,” you stop her, completely unknowing of what the hell you are going to say, but taking Sam’s advice anyway. “Can we… Can I–”

“No, Jake. We can’t. Please leave me alone and let me do my job,” she says with a hint of sadness in her voice, but still enough force that you don’t want to press too much.

You let her pass, watching her as she saunters quickly down the hall. “I miss you, Y/N…” you say, the echo of your voice reverberating off the walls. She slows her pace, and barely turns. If you’re going to say something at all, you’d better say it now. All in the open.

“I fucked up. I fucked up badly. And I’m sorry. There will never be anything I can say to take any of that back. And I know you probably don’t want a damn thing to do with me anymore, and if that’s so, then I can respect it. But I just wanted you to know that, Y/N. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long, long time. You make me crazy. You make me think about things in a way that I’ve never thought about before.” You take a breath as her eyes meet yours, full of hurt and a sorrow that swallows you right up. You take the opportunity to take a few steps toward her, closing the space between you just a little.

“When you’re around I feel a happiness that nothing else in the world can give me, or has ever given me. Nothing compares. And that’s the god’s honest truth. I don’t– I don’t let people get to me, Y/N. But ever since you came into my life there was nothing I could do about it. You knocked me down. And I know that you’ve… moved on, from…whatever this was. And, I get that… just know that I am so sorry. And I’ve found clarity, and even if you decide that I’m worthless to you, just know that you always meant more to me than I was ever able to explain.”

The hall is silent as your rambling comes to an abrupt halt, the feelings of defeat and hopefulness simultaneously taking up space in your chest. Her eyes are still deep and hollow, and you watch as her lip quivers just a little as she glances at the gap still between you. Her eyes shoot to the ground as her hand comes up to wipe a stray tear away. “Have a good show, Jake.”

—

A while later, you’re gathered in the jam room strumming on an acoustic as your eyes are focused on nothing at all, the air drying out your corneas so harshly that you have to remind yourself to blink every minute or so. You’ve replayed your conversation, well, speech, to Y/N earlier in the hall probably over a hundred times now, wishing you had said other things, explained a little differently, scooped her up in your arms and told her she is everything you have ever wanted and more…

But the thoughts become interrupted every few minutes as Josh would yell something particularly loudly or Danny would hit a hi-hat a bit too harshly.

“Hey,” Josh says as he’s suddenly in your bubble, snapping his fingers in front of your face. “Staring contest with the wall?”

“Yeah, and I’m fucking losing,” you say as you twist the guitar down to rest on the floor. You bring your thumb and fingers up to pinch the bridge of your nose, realizing that you need to start getting your energy up a bit so as not to make a fool of yourself on stage when the time comes.

“You gonna make it? Want me to slap you across the face a bit? I could ask Ty to, it works for me, sometimes…” he offers with a chuckle.

You smile, knowing that you quite literally do need a physical slap in the face right now. “Nah, thanks though. Probably just need a stiff shot of a spirit or two.” You pull your battered phone from your pocket to check the time.

“Mother of god, what happened to your phone?!” Josh yells, pulling it down to inspect it. You give him a tight smile and raise your eyebrows. “Fuck, did things get bad again?”

You inhale sharply, “Oh yeah. Really bad. Caught her going through my phone and my texts. Sent me over the edge, obviously.”

“Shit,” he breathes. “You break it, or did she?”

“I did. Threw it at the fucking wall,” you laugh at yourself, and the stupid memory.

“She see anything incriminating?”

“You don’t even wanna know what she fucking saw…” you shake your head, hearing another commotion as Mia, Lyla and Isla all three enter the room. Just the feeling of Isla’s presence sends a cold chill over your body, one that’s full of some of the deepest unexplainable distaste for someone that you have ever felt. “Well, if it isn’t the Three Musketeers!” you announce spitefully, shoving your guitar into its stand. You’re met with Josh’s eyes the size of dinner plates.

You feel fire rushing through your veins as you realize your body is putting up a protective barrier for itself, a defense so definite that you feel like you are outside of your own body as your legs carry you to stand right in front of Isla.

“Why are you here? I thought I made it very clear that I told you to stay away from me,” you spit, uncaring that you are about to do this in front of everyone.

She scoffs, crossing her arms and avoiding your eyes. “You didn’t mean that, Jake. Come on.”

“Oh, I meant it. I meant every single word. Actually, why are you even here? Why did you follow me to Europe when before I left I told you to please vacate my home, and not contact me?” you bark, feeling a confident fire rising within your chest as the words fell like a venomous poison.

The room is dead silent.

“Jake, quit messing around, are you really doing this right now?” she avoids your gaze again, and you know that you are getting to her. She’s normally held very true to being able to hold eye contact, even when she’s lying.

“Yeah. Yes. I’m really doing this right now. We’re all family here, huh? Let’s talk about it in a place where you can’t twist my words, where you can’t manipulate me into thinking I’m crazy, hmm?” you say, earning another scoff from her. “Did I not ask you to please move out, to please not contact me, to please understand that I wanted to end this relationship?”

She rolls her eyes and her tongue around in her mouth as her body language stiffens. “You told me you wanted a break, not to break up…”

“Oh but I did, Isla. You just decided that that break, that I agreed to simply to get you off my back so I could leave my house to get on a fucking plane, mind you… ended exactly when you wanted it to end. Without any conversation with me on said subject. Isn’t that right?” You are reeling, your words are absolutely burning your mouth, but it’s as though you aren’t speaking them. Your conscience is doing the talking for you. “Who said you got to make that decision on your own?”

“Jake, please stop, you don’t mean any of this… we had such a good night last night, please!”

“No, Isla! I won’t stop. This is what I want. This is what I have wanted for a long, long time. Does everyone hear me?!” You motion around yourself. “I don’t want you around me, I don’t want you in my home when I get back to it, I didn’t invite you here, and everything that has happened between us since you got here has been a mistake. A horrible mistake that has done nothing but ruin everything for me. Do I need to be any clearer? Or do I need to write it down for you?” Your chest is heaving with rage, and pride in yourself.

You glance around to everyone else again, still completely silent as you watch Isla’s face finally drop. “Is that crystal clear to everyone?” You feel all of their heads nodding slowly in agreement. “Good, great. Isla, is that clear?” you ask her directly.

Finally, finally… she nods. “Yeah, fucking crystal, Jake. I won’t bother you ever again. Good luck fucking up your whole career…” she says as Lyla rips her out of the room by the arm, toting her along.

“We won’t let him! Because that’s what family does! We support each other!” Sam yells at the both of them as they exit the door. After he speaks, he meets your eyes with the biggest stupid grin on his face, as if he was seeing if you heard him. You hear a snicker from Ty and Josh.

Alright, maybe this went better than you thought it would.

The tension in the room seems to subside a little as everyone catches their breath. “Mia, do you want to follow them?” you ask as she cozies up to Danny’s side.

She shakes her head. “No. I’m staying here.” Danny kisses the top of her head and sends you a grateful smile.

“Good. Okay then.”

Just then you hear someone clear their throat from the doorway, breaking all of your attention away to see Y/N standing there, somewhat awkwardly.

“Um, sorry. Sam, Danny, they need you back in sound for a second,” she announces, clasping her hands behind her back. You watch as they both stand from their seats to head that way, Mia, Josh and Ty following closely behind to give you the room.

It’s tense for a second as the two of you stand eye to eye, neither of you daring to speak first. Still riding on your confident high from the seconds prior, you decide to be the one to break the ice.

“How much did you hear?”

She clears her throat again. “Enough.”

You lick your lips as you sit back down on the couch, replacing your guitar on your lap. “Sorry you had to see all that drama.”

“It’s okay,” she says, slowly making her way toward you and taking the opposite seat on the couch. “I think… I had some time to think about what you said earlier…”

“Oh?” you ask, strumming away.

“Yeah. I was upset this morning, Jake. I can’t believe you… after everything you told me about her, and your relationship, you slept with her…”

“Yeah, and you just saw I admitted that was a grave mistake. I have absolutely no excuse for that, Y/N. There is nothing I can say to explain my behavior, other than a delicious mix of alcohol, old habits, being too fucking horny to function, and so insanely jealous of seeing you with Murph that I didn’t even care what the hell happened to me next.”

She stays quiet as your tune fills the awkward silence in the air.

“Just tell me you slept with him, Y/N. Rip off the bandaid, just tell me so I can process it and get it over with,” you beg, your voice flat and blank as you finally make eye contact with her.

“Yeah, I did. I slept with him,” she says.

You nod slowly as you begin your staring contest with the wall again, your fingers aimlessly traveling across your familiar strings as your heart plummets to the floor. “Was it for retaliation?”

“No, Jake, I– It wasn’t. I like Ezra, he treats me really well, and we get along–”

“Oh, Ezra, huh?! We’re on a first name basis, now. Interesting…” you say with probably a little too much bite.

“Oh don’t fucking start, Jake,” she complains. “You have no leg to stand on, right now…”

You hold up a defensive hand. “I’m not starting, I’m not arguing,” you continue playing, speaking softly. “I understand why you did what you did, and I’m in no place to have an opinion on something that isn’t my business, right sweetheart?”

She nods. “Right.”

Her radio buzzes, announcing ten minutes to stage. You laugh through your nose at the horrible timing, standing as you place your acoustic on the stand again. You turn to her, taking her chin in your hand as you peer deeply into her eyes. “I’ll be here when you realize he can’t give you what I can. When you realize you can’t stay away from me… When you realize everything I ever said was true, and that I’ll grovel at your feet until time stands still if it’ll make you realize the depth of my feelings for you.” You give her flushed face a couple shakes before you release it, stepping toward the doorway. “My wine’s in my bag, baby. Don’t let me down again.”

And with that, you race down the hallway, hearing the sound of your fans screaming your name, ready to give them, and her, the show of a lifetime.

HER POV

If there was any character in the entire world who made you feel as if you wanted to spout obscenities while clawing at their skin, shove their face into the dirt and curse their very name all in hopes that it will all resurface as an emotion of daunting, ferocious admiration, it would be Jake.

He makes you want to run for the hills and desert life as you know it, not caring for anyone or anything that may be standing in your way as you jump over rocks and roots, swim through deathly waters and starve yourself for days on end if it meant that it would be him waiting for you in those very hills you were running toward. Your relationship has been nothing short of hateful, fervid and passionate, the both of you skirting along the lines of vengeance and intimacy so opposite of one another that the toxicity scares you. Or more, encourages you.

Maybe it took the both of you performing grand acts of backstabbing for you to realize that maybe your feelings for him were more than you thought… Maybe being with another man has given you the push you needed to come to terms with the fact that no one has ever made you feel like Jake does. No one has ever made your heart beat as quickly, or your thoughts jumble so effortlessly. He’d put a spell on you, digging his claws into your skin while he raked you along for the ride, and you had hardly even noticed how deep the claws were. Until you watched him realize that he’d made a horrible, horrible mistake.

Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is an understatement; being in a constant state of back-and-forth with Jake had become somewhat of a habit that you’d gotten used to, no matter how disgustingly painful it was to admit. But Murph… Ezra… the unexpected knight in shining armor who’s charm won you over more smoothly than you’d even realized was the part of the story that made it all worth reading. Wholesome, gorgeous, protective and sweet… he’s everything you could ever want in someone if they planned on sticking around for a while.

But your chest didn’t burn for him the same way..

—

Later that night, after you’d obediently made Jake his wine, you join Ty on the side stage to watch the show in peace. You gave him a hefty rundown of everything that has happened the past few days, much the same as you’d given Ruth, without the dirty details, of course. He gave you much of the same advice that she had, telling you that though Jake would never hurt you on purpose, he knows that he made a mistake and would spend the rest of his days paying for it. It hurt to know that he was working to reassure you how real Jake is truly being with you, still.

“I think I’m really just overwhelmed… I got myself into a mess that I can’t dig myself out of, you know what I mean?” you rant to him as you continued to watch the show. “I’m actually kind of happy the tour is almost over. I managed to get myself tied up in a love triangle that’s truly gotten me nowhere.”

“I dunno about nowhere, I’m not on his team, but Murph must really like you if he’s stuck with you through all this drama…” Ty said. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that Murph didn’t even know about your relationship with Jake.

“Do you think I made a mistake, though? Do you think I pushed Jake away for ever?” you ask him, feigning on that same rocky edge.

“No, babe. You didn’t make any mistakes. Do you not know what you’ve done for Jake? Look at him,” Ty motions toward him as he throws his guitar around. “You helped free him. Even if things don’t work out for you, look at him now. Without the burden of Isla tying him down.” You smirk as you do see a different kind of pep in Jake’s step as he performs his most beloved craft.

Like he can hear your conversation, he looks your way, sending you a sweet smile and a wink as he bites his guitar pick between his front teeth. Even after all this bullshit…

You glance down at Murph, walking around the rail with Josh on his shoulders as he passes out white roses, smiling and interacting with their fans as if they were his own.

God, you don’t deserve either one of them.

The guilt that has begun to eat you up sends another wave over your entire body, weighing heavily on your shoulders as you fight to ignore it.

Do you have to choose? Do you have to pick which one of these two men is more deserving of your love?

“What if I can’t choose?” you ask Ty over your shoulder, your arms crossed protectively over your chest.

“Then don’t. You know what I want, and you know what Josh wants, but you have to put your own happiness first, babe. Maybe you should just choose yourself for a while…” he says, lying a sweet hand of comfort on your elbow.

Ty’s words resonate with you as your guilt brings another tear to your eye; you suddenly realize that you haven’t put your own happiness first in quite some time. The real kind. The genuine kind. Come to think of it, you can’t remember the last time you really felt like your absolute self.

As the show wraps up, you make it a point to disappear on purpose, rushing to clean up the craft table and do your duties under the radar so that you can avoid any more conversation tonight. You retreat back to your room unscathed, ready to take it easy for the rest of the night with a book and a glass of cheap hotel wine.

As you drown yourself in chapter 3 of a book you couldn’t really even name, you glance at your phone lying next to you on the bed, the screen quiet and black as you wonder why you haven’t received even a single text message tonight. Maybe everyone felt that you needed some space.

You poke at the screen to light it up, only finding your clock and lock screen looking back at you. You pick it up and roll to your back, mindlessly scrolling social media for a few minutes to numb your mind. You cringe a little as you see professional photographs from the show tonight already littering your instagram feed, photos of Jake honestly looking happier than he ever has.

‘You helped free him…’

Even if Ty’s words were only said to make you feel better, you can’t help but notice that even the photos from tonight really reflected it. You don’t want to take responsibility for it, but it felt nice to know that you might have played a part in helping him to finally realize he needed to stand up for himself, once and for all.

You open the shared playlist, feeling the draw to add a song that said quite the opposite of the ones Ruth had suggested earlier. You scroll around, finally landing on one of your favorites, ‘Give It Time’ by Sierra Ferrell. You hope that he is comfortably laid in his hotel bed much the same as you, and that he gets the notification and feels a little bit better, knowing that you haven’t completely written him off quite yet. You hoped he would catch the drift that you need to step back for a while, reevaluate and recenter, separating yourself from anything and everything for a bit.

You scroll up to the top of the playlist, deciding to play it through from start to finish. “Interlude 1’, let’s revisit you…” you say to yourself as you turn the volume to medium and lie your head down into the pillows, listening to the lyrics of this otherwise very different song. You know this album is one of Jake’s absolute favorites, so maybe it will help to ease the pounding still rolling around in your chest.

‘Like all good fruit, the balance of life

Is in the ripe and ruin…’

Wow. The ripe and ruin…

As the final sip of wine hits your system, your mind starts to spin and find clarity all at the same time. Suddenly those lyrics started to resonate with you.

Ripe, fully prepared. Ready to endure, ready to uphold, sufficient in readiness.

And ruin, devastation. Pure and utter collapse. The slow disintegration of all the mightiness that once was.

“Fuck..” you breathe in a whisper, running a hand over your eyes as the words settled in and felt real. “Was I the ruin all along? Did I ruin it all for myself?” You press pause on the song, suddenly unwilling to listen to any more.

You flip back over and pick up your phone, bringing up your text thread with Ezra.

You

12:46AM: Hey, can we talk?

You fingers tap nervously as you wait a minute or so before seeing his text bubble appear.

Ezra Murphy

12:49AM: Sure, want me to come to your room or

You

12:50AM: Let’s meet, there’s a really cozy fireplace in the lobby that I feel like I need to sit by

Ezra Murphy

12:50AM: See you in a few :) 🔥

It’s only minutes later that you watch as Ezra’s eyes poke around the room off of the lobby, searching for you and the fireplace. He’s in an old gray t-shirt with some type of worn off black lettering, and a pair of slouchy flannel sleeping pants. He looks absolutely delectable.

When his eyes finally find you, he smiles a little, waltzing over to sit beside you on the stone bench beside the fire.

“Are you wearing slippers, Ezra?” you ask, glancing down to his feet.

“It’s 1:00 AM, of course I wasn’t gonna tie my boots back up. Plus, these are lined with fur, and they’re comfy as hell,” he grins as he kicks his sock-clad foot out for you to see.

You giggle as you pull your knees up to your chest, eyeing him adoringly. This is going to suck…

“Is everything okay, babe?” he finally asks, turning his body toward you. “You’ve had me worried ever since I found you cryin’…”

You take a deep breath, preparing for the rage that you just knew he was going to display. “That’s because I was lying to you, Ezra.”

His eyes grow as his jaw falls open a bit, looking for a response. “Lying about what?”

“I was upset, I am upset. I– egh, I’ve actually kind of been lying to you for a while, now. Well, not lying, just– not divulging the whole truth,” you explain, watching as his eyes search for more answers.

You turn completely and cross your legs, taking his hands in yours. “Before you got here, Murph, I uh… I was sleeping with Jake…” the words feel hollow as they burn your throat. “We had become kind of serious? In a way, things were like, moving sort of fast, in a good way and… as I’m sure you’ve noticed, he kind of… has had Isla this entire time,” you explain. Murph’s jaw moves sideways a few times as he crunches his eyes closed, shaking his head in confusion.

“So wait wait wait, he cheated on her with you? I don’t really know the ins and outs of their relationships or anything but… I– that would make sense as to why he’s been a complete jackass to me lately… he was some kind of jealous, fuck…” he rambles.

“He has?!”

“Yeah, but, that’s beside the point…” he waves it off, resting his elbows on his knees as he leans forward. “Keep going…”

“He didn’t necessarily cheat on her with me, he was under the impression that they had been separated for a while before she even came here, they were in an awful relationship, there was a lot of drama that I don’t really wanna get into right now, but. Nonetheless, he failed to divulge that she even existed. So I cut him off, a while before you even came around. Anyways, this morning I decided I would go to their room and drop off coffee and apologize and I found out that they had… ya know… after he’d said that he basically hated the ground she walked on.”

“So you– you used me? To get back at him?”

“No no, you were a completely separate anomaly to me, Ezra. I’d already distanced myself from him once you came along. But– I just wanted you to know that that happened, and that’s why I was upset this morning, because I found out the hard way that he had slept with her even after telling me he had nothing for her anymore. I was just– a little fucked up over it…”

Murph shakes his head side to side as he huffs out a breath, looking around the room as he puts everything together.

“Thank you for telling me, Y/N,” he says blankly.

“I should have told you a while ago. And I’m sorry, Murph. He shouldn’t be treating you badly, either,” you concede.

“That part doesn't bother me too much. I’m used to my employers kind of treating me that way, but. Now I know why he’s had a change of heart. He saw me as a threat.”

“I don’t think you should look at it that way, Ez–”

“But he kicked Miss Isla to the curb…” he says, making you perk up.

“How do you know that?” you ask.

“I had to escort her to the airport earlier, right before the show. She was a complete mess and wouldn’t even speak to me… word on the street was Jake told her she had to leave.”

You nod, realizing that he’d actually gone through with it this time. He’d actually made arrangements for her to be gone.

“He really likes you, doesn’t he, Y/N?” he asks, his eyelids heavy as they meet yours in the light of the fire. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have sent her packing, otherwise he wouldn’t have been treating me like dirt…”

“I don’t know, Ezra, maybe. I can’t answer that for him,” you say honestly. “Everything’s just been so fucked up… I realized I was essentially a homewrecker, Isla flew off the handle, Jake was mad at her, I was mad at him… it was all just. A lot. And now I just– wanted to clear the air. With you, with everyone. I think I just need a little while to… ya know. Regroup.” Your heart hurts as you watch his face fall, you really don’t want this. You don’t want things to be this way. And then you remember the lyrics. Like all good fruit…

“I’m so sorry about all of this, Ezra. I just want you to know that you weren’t some type of rebound or whatever, and I don’t want you to think I used you in retaliation. I was into you… am into you, very much so,” you explain with as much conviction as you can muster. “I hope you can understand where I stand with it all, right now.”

He’s silent for a second as he nods his head. “Thank you for listening to me, and not getting too mad at me, I hope. I’ve never met anyone else like you before, Ezra. You’re so easy, so laid back and sure of yourself. And I really appreciate you making me feel loved while our paths crossed.”

You can tell he’s a little distraught, but at the same time, you’ve got to ignore it.

“I appreciate you telling me the truth, Y/N, even though I wish you would’ve done it a little sooner,” he smiles a side smirk, making your heart skip a beat.

“I wish I would have too,” you say quietly, listening as the fire begins to crackle.

“So, what do you want?” he finally asks, his eyes full of false hope.

“I want– I think I just need to love myself for a little bit. Step back. I’m very much eaten up with guilt and strange taste right now, and I don’t want to put those vibes onto anyone else, if that makes sense,” you try your best to explain. “My mind is in so many places that I don’t think I can even think straight if I wanted to.”

He nods slowly, running a hand through his dark hair. “I get that. I could feel the tension within them, I understand.” He sends you a reassuring smile as he places a hand on your knee. “You were really good while you lasted, baby. Wish things could have gone a little differently. Don’t ever forget that,” he says.

“I want to still stay friends, Ezra. Just because I’m distancing myself doesn’t mean we have to completely write each other off,” you laugh. “You brighten my days too much for me to forget about you.”

He stifles a laugh through his nose. “So, friends?” he asks, holding a hand out.

“Yes. Friends. Please, I still need you to have my back,” you say with a joking tone.

“That won’t ever change, babe,” he says, standing the both of you up as you begin to walk to the elevator. You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you stand outside the elevator doors, waiting for them to open so you can see him off.

“Forgot you’re on the ground floor,” he says. “See you bright and early?”

You give him a quick salute. “Bright and early.”

“Night, babe,” he says quietly, and you watch as the elevator doors close across the vision of his face.

Back in your room, you tap your phone again, realizing that a good night’s sleep isn’t going to find you tonight. Oh well, you presume… a nap in your downtime will definitely be in the cards. Just as you’re getting comfortable in your puffy sheets, your phone buzzes with the first notification you’ve gotten all night.

‘Jake has added a song to the shared playlist: 🐥’

Oh my god… he saw it.

You unlock your phone and scroll to the bottom, seeing that he had added a song that you hadn’t heard in many years, one that reminds you of your high school years, going to your first festivals and discovering a new type of music that you’d yet to delve into. ‘I Will Wait’ by Mumford and Sons.

Of course. Of course he will wait.

You feel a shudder of emotions that you can’t quite comprehend, knowing that despite it all, he still is sticking to his guns.

…So you decide to stick to yours.

You close the playlist, pulling up the itinerary for the remainder of the tour and pinning in certain places you want to visit, and things you want to see. Places you will most likely be visiting alone. Tears prickle at your eyes as you remember all the sweet things Jake had done for you, all the things that he’d said, all the love that you’d made… so for the second time today, you let yourself feel it. Let yourself bask in the sadness so that tomorrow, hopefully, you’ll have emptied all the tears you had left, leaving absolutely none left to cry.

—

December 7

Departing Lisbon, Portugal

You know those redemption scenes at the end of romcom movies where the main character is walking around, looking at all of their ex friends, ex foes, and exes, giving them all reassuring smiles and small waves while the sun shines above them, and upbeat pop music plays in the background?

That’s how the days following your conversation with Murph had gone. Exactly like that. The animosity that had been sewing itself into the fibers of everyone’s beings had suddenly up and left, being replaced with something more joyful than you could have anticipated.

Everyone felt a new air of peace surrounding the last few shows, and you spent your time burying yourself in your work, instead of worrying about what kind of argument was right around the corner.

Jake treated you like a friend and coworker, offering nothing more but cheerful ‘good mornings’ and ‘goodnights’, giving you space to cordially speak to him first, and avoiding adding any more songs to the playlist. Ezra acted like nothing at all had happened, and he even caught you in a hallway once, telling you that Jake had come to him and apologized for treating him so badly.

It truly seemed as though everyone had turned a new leaf.

As you walk through the airport parking lot ready to catch the flight back home to Nashville, you suddenly feel Mia at your side.

“Hey!” she chirps, the wind blowing her hair across her face.

“Hey!” you respond with just as much glee. You hadn’t really gotten a chance to speak with Mia one on one since the day that Lyla and Isla left, you being left with the feeling that maybe she still held some distaste for you.

“Hey listen uh, I was just wondering if you’d want to get some coffee with me… one day, when we get back home? There’s this new little shop around the corner from mine and Danny’s and I really wanna try it out, I’ve heard excellent things,” she says, catching you completely off guard.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, sure! That sounds really fun, actually,” you say, not willing to turn her down in any way.

“Great! Cool!” she replies as you both walk, a strange silence falling between you. “Hey um, I just… wanted you to know that I’m really sorry about how everything went down, with Isla and everything. I never really liked her, if I’m being honest, and… I just don’t want you to think that I’m that kind of person, too.”

Oh. Ohhhhh.

“Oh, no, Mia, you don’t have to apologize. Everything just got so fucked up and confusing and stupid, I think we were all just making really bad decisions and things just snowballed…”

“I agree. Still doesn’t make how she treated you any more right. How we all treated you. I should have told you about their master plan to get Isla here the minute they got her plane ticket. Poor Jake. I know now that she was so manipulative of him, and that is on me. I should have warned you both. I never even told Danny,” she admits, letting her face fall.

“Seems like she manipulated more than just Jake then, huh?” you ask, suddenly making sense of it all.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Lyla is… she’s gone too, actually,” she says with a little bit of melancholy in her voice. “Broke things off with Sam. But I think he is like, really okay with it,” she snaps back into a laugh.

“Is she?!” you squeal. “Wow, I guess I hadn’t even bothered to notice…”

“How things have changed, huh?” she asks as she opens the doors for you. “Anyways, I’ll see you on the plane. And I’ll text you one day later this week?”

“Yeah, sounds great. Thanks for chatting with me, Mia,” you say.

“Sure thing, babe,” she says with a wink, darting off to find Danny and the rest.

JAKE POV

“Are you positive that’s her seat?” you ask Paul quietly from the jetbridge, keeping an eye on her as you see her walking ten or so people back from you.

“Positive,” he says with a bit of sarcasm.

“Thank you. Good man,” you reply as you pat his shoulder, rushing ahead through the hordes of people boarding the plane ahead of you.

You rush to find her seat, eyeing the rows as you finally find it. You shove your hand in your pocket, gripping the crisp hundred to make sure it’s still there, ready to be used just in case this goes south. There’s a middle aged man sitting in the seat beside hers, already kicked back comfortably with his headphones on. You tap his shoulder, getting his attention as he pulls his music away.

“Hey, sorry to disturb you, but would you be interested in exchanging seats with me?” you ask with a little bit of haste in your voice.

The man scoffs as he glances to his left. “It’s a window seat, buddy. Don’t think so,” he replies, pulling his headphones back up.

“Please, sir… I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t really need to sit here,” you plead, hoping he can hear the urgency in your voice. But yet again, he meets you with nothing.

“Would this change your mind?” you ask, pulling out the hundred from your pocket and straightening it hard in his face. “Might get you a few cocktails at your layover… plus, I’d be switching you for first class.” You raise and lower your eyebrows a few times as you suck your lip in, hoping the last ditch effort will take effect.

The man pauses and pulls his music away again. “First class? Why didn’t you say so?” he boasts, slapping his hand across the bill in your grasp as he stands and begins gathering his carry-on.

“Thank you, thank you,” you reply as you let him step by you, tossing your own backpack into the seat as you shake his hand. “Have a nice rest of your day, sir.”

“Sure thing,” he replies, and you know he was busy trying to figure out why you just paid him to take your first class seat. You plop into the uncomfortable chair, crossing your hands together as your elbows lie on the rests, waiting for her to approach the row.

Your eyes close on their own accord as you pull your sunglasses back down, huffing a sigh of relief that phase one of your plan has officially commenced. Finally you feel her presence, gorgeous as ever as she is lost in her own little world, listening to her music and maneuvering her things between the tight rows of seats. She finally sits down beside you, completely unaware that it’s actually you sitting there. You smirk as she drops her bag, out of breath and flustered as she makes herself comfortable. How she doesn’t even clock you, you don’t know.

Just as she finally gets situated, her elbow knocks into yours, so you knock it back. “Excu– Jake?! What the hell are you– why are you sitting here? I thought they got you first class on this trip…”

You smile with all of your teeth. “They did? You’re kidding, that explains why literally everyone else isn’t here…shit,” you playfully look around, hitting yourself in the head as if you hadn’t even realized.

“Cut it, Jake. How did you mix up your own seat?!” she asks, wiping a few flyaways from her face. The smell of her perfume almost envelops you, sweet and sultry as you breathe her in for the first time in way too many days.

“I didn’t mix it up. I just don’t like fucking with tradition,” you reply, crossing one leg over the other as you relax comfortably back into your seat.

“Tradition?” she asks, her voice deflated as she rolls her eyes.

“Yes. Tradition. We came to Europe on a plane side by side, we should leave Europe on a plane side by side. We shouldn’t fuck with it, might be bad luck,” you say cheekily.

She smiles, but only a little bit. “Jake, this entire trip was bad luck, honestly…”

You take a deep breath in agreement. “Touche, okay, but what if this plane ride home reverses that, and makes it good luck?” you ramble, honestly just saying words at this point. Anything to make her smile again. Make her cheeks turn that perfect shade of blush again… “We can’t discount fate, Y/N. It’d be foolish to do so. And neither you, nor I, are foolish.”

She bites her teeth together, stretching her neck. “You’re really crazy, you know that?” she finally smiles wholly.

There she is.

You rustle with your watch hanging on your wrist, noticing it’s almost time for takeoff. “I know. But can you blame me?”

She shakes her head. “No, no I really can’t, after getting to know you and all your baggage…”

“Ohhhh! My baggage, huh?” you cross your legs again. “Well I’m here to tell you babe, that the only baggage I am bringing home is this backpack. And my suitcases. And the thousands of dollars worth of guitars and gear. But that’s it! That’s all this time!”

Finally, she laughs. A real laugh. “Again, you’re really stupid. And honestly, why should I even believe you?” she counters. “Seems as though our relationship was solely based on lies from the get-go, hm?” Her voice had fallen a bit toward the end there, and you swear you felt a dagger shoot through your chest for the thousandth time in the past month. Twisting and turning itself as you realize the guilt is never going to go away.

Her eyes meet yours with a heaviness, almost as if she’s asking you to pour your heart out, one more good time. After all, the morning she came to your room with three coffees seemed as if it was going to be full of good intention, but you just never gave her the chance to say her piece.

“I deserve that,” you nod. You feel the plane begin to shake as it prepares to take off, the pilot coming over the loudspeaker to announce departure. The two of you look out the window as the early morning sun begins to rise over the city, the tall buildings casting long shadows that look as if they reach for miles. You feel her shoulder press against yours as the plane begins to rush down the runway, finally taking off to make its way above the clouds.

You rise higher and higher in the sky, the bottomless pit sensation making your stomach fall as you ascend. When the plane finally evens out and your vertigo subsides, you notice her eyes still trained on the scenery outside. “Come on, look how gorgeous…” you suggest, urging her to lean closer and get a better view of what’s now below you.

She hesitantly leans again, the smell of her shampoo prevalent in her still-damp hair as she reaches across you. You breathe it in, memorize it, savor it as you know that this flight could be the very last time you ever feel her closeness. You feel her sigh as you both take it all in, leaving the place that saw both the downfall and redemption of one of the most convoluted experiences of your life thus far.

“It’s truly beautiful there, isn’t it?” she mutters, almost too quietly to hear.

“Yeah, it really is…” you agree as you feel her relax back in her seat again, breathing a sigh of relief as the plane hits a little bit of turbulence.

You decide to take the opportunity to speak again during this moment of shared adoration, hoping that the peacefulness of being miles in the sky mixes well with the eagerness you both have to finally get home again.

“Y/N, I’m gonna say something, and you don’t have to believe me, fuck, you don’t even have to listen. And I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but… from the bottom of my heart, I want you to know that it’s the god’s honest truth. All of it.” You swallow as your words sound sheepish, quiet in the grand scheme of things when all you want to do is yell from the rooftops if it’d mean she’d listen. “Okay?”

“Oh–Okay…” she spouts, turning a little to show her attention. Her hands are gripping each other tightly, wringing against themselves as she knows she can’t get up and walk away from this.

“I know I lied to you, held out on the absolute truth from the very beginning. That wasn’t me, Y/N, it never was me. I’d lived in this… this bubble for a really long time. Even though I thought I was happy, I knew deep down that I wasn’t, and it was only getting worse as time went on. I became the worst version of myself, Isla did too. I think in some weird, fucked up way, we brought the worst out in each other. The toxicity. And hers came from a place of possession, mine came from a place of my inability to communicate with her, I guess. Either way, I know I’ve told you the whole story a hundred times, but it took this trip for me to realize how much more me I finally felt when I boarded that plane to leave that day. And how much more me I felt when we started talking. Fuck, it was like I was physically finally far enough away from my demons that the clouds kind of dissipated, I don’t know.”

You finally make a bit of eye contact with her, and she gives you a small smile, placing her hand on your arm as she knows this is a difficult topic. Either way, you persevere.

“It hurts to admit this, and I’m not sure that I have ever really said it out loud, but… I’m fully aware of the fact that I was in somewhat of an emotionally manipulative relationship, and I allowed myself to fall victim to it, for everyone around me to fall victim to it. I know that I’m stronger than that. Did I have my faults? Of course, I’m not blind to that realization, either. But when you fall into that routine, it sort of becomes you, I guess. And I know for a fact that the decisions I’ve made in the past few weeks are just the ghosts of that. The lingering feelings, the bullshit I was too stupid to see past.” Your voice is grated as you give her your speech, one that you know you would give a thousand times if it would give you her forgiveness. Her hand flits up underneath her chin as she rests it, giving you her full attention now, her face riddled with concern and sympathy.

“Sorry, I can shut up if you want me to, babe,” you laugh.

“No no, go on, please…” she says, reaching to take your hand in her grasp. Her palms, so warm and inviting as she gives your fingertips a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay.”

You huff an exhale. “Y/N, I am not kidding you in the least when I tell you that you helped pull me from that place. Helped me realize so much. You put a mirror in front of my face that gave me the courage to finally extract myself from that situation. You–You made me feel the blood in my veins again, made me feel that urge in the pit of my stomach to want again, in every sense of the word. Hell, you can ask Josh, I’ve written four songs just on this trip alone,” you jest.

“Have you really?!” she asks, her tone warm as her lips part into the most perfect smile.

“Yeah,” you laugh, running your free hand over your mouth. “We’ll see if they go anywhere. But anyway…”

You sit on your thoughts for another few seconds, letting them simmer as your throat continues to tighten. But it feels cathartic in a way, spilling your emotions. It's always been so easy to share with her.

“I hate the way things ended between you and I, and I can’t take back the decisions that I made and the actions that followed them, and I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I just wanted you to know that you’ve been the biggest light in my life for a while now, and you gave me the strength to get my dignity back. And I can’t thank you enough for that.” You squeeze her hand again as you see the tears piling up in her eyes. “Just your presence has been enough to make me appreciate my life again. Appreciate the things in front of me, make me lust for them again. And I know that when we get home, we might not ever talk again, you’ll probably move on and tour with someone else, but just know I hold no animosity toward you, and I hope that we can stay friends.”

On your last word, a single tear finally falls on her cheek, a clear indication that her emotions are all over the place, too.

“Please don’t cry, Y/N,” you whisper as you run your thumb along her tear line to catch the next one, threatening to fall just like the first. “You’re too pretty to cry.”

She pulls away and wipes them herself, fanning her face as she sniffles them away. “God, Jake, you know… you’re so easy to hate.”

Her words take your breath; all the revelations and admissions you just shared seemingly for nothing as she continues to clear her tears away. You open your mouth to speak, but she cuts you off.

“So easy to hate, but so, so fucking easy to love, too.”

You shake your head in confusion, your heart suddenly ripping itself from your ribcage. “What do you mean?” you mumble, barely audibly.

She swallows as she regains her composure, tucking her hair behind her ear as she leans her head back onto the headrest, eyeing you deeply.

“I didn’t realize, at first, how much I really felt for you. How much emotion I wasn’t even letting myself feel, because I didn’t even know it was there. While we were sleeping together, and you were being so fucking sweet to me, it was so perfect, and so nice. I guess I just ignored it because I’d never really been treated that genuinely before. Never had someone pursue me so consistently and with so much momentum. But now I know, after everything, it was there. I felt it, and it was real. Even if I tried to ignore it, I felt something really, really intense with you.”

Felt. She felt that way.

You brush away another tear, mirroring her and lying your head back on your headrest, too… your faces only within inches of one another.

“Everything felt like a whirlwind, you know? It happened fast, and there were so many vengeful actions, even if we didn’t wanna call them that. We were both fucking stupid, you know?” she continues.

You nod. “Yeah. We were. But I guess I’m glad to know you felt the same way I did, even if we were both too stubborn to really admit it.”

“You admitted it to me just fine, Jake. I was the one hiding from it all. And now I understand, I see that everything you said came from a place of authenticity, and I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that with Isla. That’s all so fucked up…”

You sigh and continue to brush at her cheek, wishing that things could have gone so differently, but ready to accept the fact that nothing in life worth fighting for is ever easy. And if this was the fight you’d have to be entangled in to get her back, so be it.

“It’s alright. She’s out of the house now. Lyla texted me a couple days ago and said they’d found an apartment and would ‘No longer be a burden’ to me and Sam. Whatever. I’m just glad to have my home back to myself,” you reply, noticing you’re antsy to get home and rot on your couch in peace.

Y/N smiles, turning her face to press a quick and sweet kiss to your thumb, the action nearly knocking the breath from your lungs. “That’s good. I’m proud of you, Jake. It took a lot of courage to stand up to her like that,” she says.

“Yeah… no more shackles,” you smile, grabbing her chin between your fingers. The two of you stay caught up in this position for a while, neither of you saying much else while you stare into each other’s eyes, sharing sweet wordless smiles every so often that make you feel even more at peace than you were before.

It’s all out now, everything you wanted to say now existing in the air between you instead of bottled up in your chests. You know nothing is in your hands, anymore. You’re well aware that the universe has to take charge and draw out the map for your next journey. You know where you want it to lead, though, you know where you want to end up. But as of late you’ve learned to let things take their course, because if you try to force destiny before it’s ready, it will swallow you like quicksand, leaving nothing behind in its wake but broken hearts and words left unsaid.

“Friends, Y/N?” you ask, finally breaking the stare.

She takes your hand again, interlacing your fingers together as you feel the threat of sleep taking over.

“Yeah, Jake. Really good friends.”

—

Late September 2024, Nine Months Later

Nashville, TN

HER POV

“I’m positive, Ruth. Go with the green one with the low neckline. It’s so flattering on your collarbones and he will go crazy,” you try and convince your friend as she works to pick an outfit for her blind date.

“How do you know that, bitch? I don’t even know what this man looks like, let alone that he will think my collarbones are flattering!” she barks, tossing another outfit onto the bed in front of her. “Give me a whole ass break.”

“What’s got your panties in a bunch? Are you really this nervous? You go on dates like this all the time!” you argue, raising your voice.

“Yes, I’m nervous, okay? My coworker said that me and this guy are like two peas in a pod and she could see me marrying him. Do you know how insane that sounds, Y/N?! I can’t marry someone, ew!” she responds as she slips out of the frame, still frazzled as she throws on another dress. “Ugh, this looks ugly, too. That’s it, I’m not going. I’m texting her right now and canceling–”

“The fuck you are, Ruth!” you yell as she picks the phone up and brings the screen close to her face. “You’re going on this date, and you’re wearing the gree– oh my god. Oh my god?” you say suddenly, your heart falling to your stomach as you sit back down on your bed. “Holy shit holy shit holy shit.”

“What? What?!” Ruth asks. “What’s wrong?”

You’re breathless as you stare at your screen in disbelief, your jaw hanging slack as you fight to find the words.

“Y/N!!! Answer me!” Ruth shouts.

“Oh, sorry sorry, um. Jake just… just added a song to our playlist…”

“What?! Jake??? Like Jake, Jake? How long has it been since you talked to him?” she asks, panic written all over her face.

“Since that day at the airport when we got home from Europe, almost nine months ago…” you say, your voice void of any emotion as you try your hardest to make sure you aren’t dreaming. “We–we decided to cut ties… just be friends…”

“Oh my fuck, Y/N, this is huge. Right? What song is it? What did he add?”

“It’s called Reasons For Waiting? By Jethro Tull? I’ve never heard of this… OH my god Ruth he texted. Oh my god what do I do help me,” you ramble, your heartrate picking up speed as you feel your hands grow sweaty from the singular notification buzz.

“Read the text, you idiot! And read it out loud!” she commands, tilting back her bottle of Twisted Tea she had been pregaming on.

“Okay okay,” you say, clicking away from the facetime and over to your texts, your hands shaking as you click on the name you hadn’t read in months, though you thought about every single day.

Jake

6:27PM: Hey stranger, hope you’re well. Was just hanging out and listening to music and some Alt-J came on, made me think of you.

6:28PM: I went and saw that I still have our playlist saved, and noticed the last song I added was I Will Wait, and I’m sure you saw I added another song just now. I know you weren’t there for it, but during our last tour, this song played to the crowd every night right before we came on stage. It was always one of our favorites, especially mine. Kind of hits home in a lot of ways, and it sort of became the song that connected all of us to our fans, in a way. Anyway, I thought it would be a nice follow up to the one before it, so give it a listen if you don’t know it already. Let me know how you like it 🙂

“Oh my fucking god, babe. Go play it so I can hear too,” she says, and you click play on the song, still holding every ounce of the breath left in your lungs. The two of you listen to the song play out, paying special attention to the words and how the lyrics connect. At the song’s close, your hand flies up over your mouth as you fight the tears, the song already feeling familiar as your faint memories of hearing the guys sing or play it while you were in Europe last year come falling back.

“I remember it, Ruth. They played it all the time, Josh would hum it, Jake would play parts of it on his acoustic… I… What do I even do with this?” you say, your throat constricting with old memories.

“Y/N, sweetie, this was an invitation. He reached out, finally… right?” Ruth says with a newfound softness in her voice. “You might not have noticed it, but you bring up Jake every single day, in one way or another, did you know that?”

“I do?”

“Yes. You do. You miss him, Y/N, and this was quite literally him saying he misses you, too. He had his reasons for waiting for you, and he has waited, it looks like. For a long time. Text him back.”

“No!” you shout, feeling a fear like no other. “I can’t! What will I even say?! It’s been almost a year, I–”

“Tell him you liked the song. Tell him you loved it, and that you remember hearing it. He’s just looking for contact, Y/N. Extending an olive branch. Maybe all this time apart is just what you needed,” she says, slipping back into the green dress you decided on earlier. “Does he still live in the same place?”

“I don’t know, how would I know?!” you ask, still panicked and teary.

“Ask him, strike up conversation. You can do it, Y/N,” Ruth urges as she finishes getting dressed and putting her heels on. “I love you, but I have to go, I’m already late for my Uber. But I want screenshots of the texts, and updates on everything, okay?”

You take a deep breath, letting the emotions level out. “Okay. Okay yeah. I’ll text him back.”

“Alright. Love you, good luck and godspeed my bitch,” Ruth salutes as she hangs up the phone, leaving you staring at the text thread with Jake. You huff a sigh, trying to hype yourself up to type the text you’ve been wanting to type for nine months.

You

6:39PM: Hey 😌 I remember that song well, actually. But I will admit, it sounded better coming from your acoustic

His text bubble pops up almost immediately, as if he was waiting for your reply.

Jake

6:40PM: I don’t know about all that, now, but I appreciate the compliment

You

6:41PM: How are you? Overseas again?

Jake

6:42PM: I’m well, thanks… And no, we just got back from a leg in Australia and New Zealand, actually. Enjoying being back home

You:

6:43PM: Wow, I bet that was amazing. And home is…

Jake

6:43PM: …still Nashville, yes

6:44PM: Actually just put the finishing touches on my back porch fire pit.

6:44PM: *attachment*

The photo showed what looked to be his yard, a few wooden benches surrounding a metal fire pit with an already roaring fire. Jake’s feet were propped up on the pavers that bordered it, holding up a bottle of a beer you’d never seen before.

You

6:45PM: That looks so nice!

6:46PM: Though, I did spy that entire bag of unopened marshmallows sitting beside you…

Jake

6:46PM: I’m about to tear into them now. But, I don’t think I can eat them all on my own

You

6:47PM: I think I know someone who would be willing to help you put a dent in them at least, if you needed assistance…

Your heart pounds as you watch his text bubble fly up, immediately regretting inviting yourself over to his house after so long of having no contact at all. What the fuck, Y/N? He could have someone coming over already, he could have a completely new life, now. Regret, abort, unsend!

Jake

6:49PM: I most definitely need assistance. I’ll drop you a pin

6:49PM: Drive safe, see you soon 😉

His forwardness ignites a feeling in your stomach that you haven’t felt in a long while as you screenshot the texts, sending them straight to Ruth. You toss your phone onto your bed, and rush back to your closet to find the perfect outfit to go and see Jake again, for what would hopefully be the first of many bonfire dates to come.

JAKE POV

Rushing to tidy up your place would be an understatement; you truly hadn’t planned on the conversation with Y/N going so well, so when she replied that she was almost there, you felt a wave of excitement that could only be cured by finally seeing her in the flesh again.

Your hands are jittery, your palms are sweaty, and the anxiety in your core has you reeling, but you know it's for good reason. She’s really coming, she’s really almost here…

You throw another log onto the fire as you hear tires in your driveway, just as the sun is starting to set lower in the sky. You brush yourself off as you walk through your house, taking a second to check your appearance in the mirror as you pass by it. You crack the door open to find her already walking up the steps to your front porch, dressed in the prettiest yellow sundress you’re positive you’ve ever seen. Your breath escapes your lungs as she looks at you, gorgeous and beaming as ever.

“Hey there,” you manage to get out as your heart pounds, “Thanks for coming.”

Her cheeks blush that perfect pink that you always loved so much as you grab her up in a little hug, her arms pulling you in tighter as you finally make contact. Her body still feels so good, so perfect as you feel your skin magnetically connect to hers. You both pull away, a flush of nerves overtaking the both of you after not having seen each other for so long. You make your way inside and back out to the fire. “Of course, how could I turn down free marshmallows?”

You guide her to the other empty seat and watch as she tucks her dress beneath her, sitting back comfortably. You grab a beer from the box beside you, cracking it open and handing it off to her. “Oh, so it was the marshmallows that got you here. If I would have known that, I would have sent you that photo months ago…” you quip, taking a sip from your beer.

“Thought you were still traveling the world months ago?” she asks, her voice buttery soft as her lips connect with the bottle.

“I was,” you laugh, leaning back in your seat, as well.

“Australia, huh? How was that?”

“Fucking amazing,” you say. “We love it there. Feels like a whole other world. But I will say it feels good to be back here, back on my turf, in my home. Finally, my home,” you say, trying to insinuate that you were, in fact, still single.

“You never let Isla come back?” she presses, getting straight to the point.

You shake your head with furiosity. “Hell no. No. We haven’t spoken.”

“Good for you, Jake,” she says, her voice still absolutely dripping with honey as you take a second to admire her in the dimming sunlight. The fire is casting bright beams onto her face and exposed chest, and you have to remind yourself that this is just a cordial visit. Between friends. Just catching up.

You clear your throat. “And you…? Find another super cool band to run for?”

She smiles as she shakes her head. “No, I traveled a lot, though. Took some time, went out West, visited Ruth and some family… I actually did the paperwork today to make myself available to tour again. Think I’m ready to get back out there.” She cocks an eyebrow as she crosses her legs, taking another long drag of her drink.

You’re almost speechless as you watch her move; somehow she seems so much more sure of herself, now… so confident and comfortable in her own skin. Not that she wasn’t before, but something has switched.

“Is that right?” you say, leaving the question open-ended to be discussed another time. “Have you uh, have you talked to Murph?”

You’d contemplated not touching on the subject at all, but you figured there is no better time than the present to go ahead and rip off the bandaid, if there was to be one.

She smiles as she bobs her head up and down. “Yep, have the wedding invitation hanging on my fridge. You going?”

Your heart warms at the thought, knowing that just nine short months ago, the three of you were caught up in something you were sure you’d never pull yourself from. But now, as time has held hands with destiny again, you find yourselves in a whole different dimension.

“Of course I’m going!” you reply. “It’s our turn to take care of him while he gets too damn drunk to function. He and I uh, actually got kind of close on this last leg, we’re actually more alike than I thought we were,” you explain, pulling open the bag of marshmallows.

“Wow!” she says. “And to think…”

“I know. Hindsight is 20/20. We talked it out, got over it. You know he got back with his ex a couple of months after we got home from Europe… she showed up on his doorstep saying everything was a mistake, how much she missed him and all that. Next thing we knew we were going to their housewarming party, and he was sending Danny photos of rings.”

“You’re kidding me…” she says as you watch an overwhelming expression of sweetness and longing cover her face, her hand clutching at her heart as her lips pout.

“Yep. We helped him decide on one. Got her a rock, too. He was so happy, Y/N. You know how he’s already so happy-go-lucky… he’s like a big ball of laughter and elation, now. Man’s head over heels. I like her, too. Sweet girl that gets those big googly eyes when she’s around him,” you say, internally laughing at the whole situation and how things have ended up.

“That’s so good, Jake. I’m actually really, so very happy for him,” she says as she stares into the fire, going silent for a few seconds. You lift a marshmallow from the bag and toss it at her face, breaking her from her trance into the flames. “Hey!!” she squeals, picking it off her lap to throw back at you.

“You mean you’re not jealous?!” you ask with faux surprise.

“Of course I’m not jealous,” she says, again showing her maturity. She leans over and dips her hand deep into the bag of marshmallows on your lap, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d bargain that she left her hand there for a second longer than she needed to as her fingertips graze your inner thigh through the bag. She pulls one out, taking a big bite of it. “But I probably will need a date to the wedding, though… if you have any ideas of anyone I could ask…”

You feel your lips curl up into a cheeky grin, hoping, praying that she means what you think she does.

“Funny, I was gonna go stag, but… if you’d like some arm candy, I think I could like, hold your purse for you,” you tease, taking a bite of a marshmallow yourself as your eyes dig into hers.

“You might want to start taking some dancing lessons now, Jake. You’ve got three months to learn how to do the Electric Slide and the Wobble,” she quips, shoving your shoulder. You take the opportunity to grip the handle of her chair, scooting her toward you so that your shoulders touch.

You lean in close to her, pulling a bit of hair behind her ear. “The only dancing I’ll be doing is slow dancing, with my wedding date…”

You feel her swallow hard at your bold words and close proximity, but you hold true to it. To it all. It’s always been true.

You place a firm hand on the back of her neck, expecting her to pull away, but she doesn’t. She moves in even closer, brushing her lips across yours as you just barely breathe in the essence of the sugar still on them.

Her eyes flash up to yours as you hear her breath catch, and you know the fact that she isn’t pulling away is very telling. “Do you want to stay for dinner, Y/N?” you breathe.

“You mean these marshmallows aren’t dinner?” she asks, her cuteness almost too much as you can’t hold back a giggle.

“No. I’m making pasta primavera. Very fancy and difficult and special…” you say, tightening your grip on her neck again as her lips ghost yours.

“Mmm, sounds like you might need a hand. I should probably… stay and help…”

“You should… stay and help…” you take your hand from around the back of her neck, moving it slowly to grasp her jaw, pulling her slowly into a kiss that feels like it was a hundred years coming. Soft and gentle as you taste her again, your lips barely pressed together as you hear her slow inhale. Peaceful and right. So incredibly right. You part yours a little to let her in, wanting to feel her warmth again more than anything else. She feels so familiar yet so different, the sweetness of the whole exchange overtaking your ability to think straight.

You feel her smile onto you as you disconnect, giving yourselves both a second to come back down to earth.

“I’m… sorry, that was…” you say as you press your fingers to your lips.

“Old habits die hard,” she laughs, the sound of it making you squirm with nerves.

You’re both unable to speak for a minute or so, and you know for a fact that she is reeling just the same as you are. “So, you want to come inside?” you ask, finally standing and brushing your hands across your shorts.

“Yeah, give me the grand tour….” she says, standing and following you through the yard. You stop and take her in, watching as her face is lit up and bashful from the kiss you both had been longing for for so long, now.

You hold out your hand, urging her to take it as you top the steps, ready to start fresh with the only woman who has ever made you feel whole, and hoping that she’ll stay for more than just dinner.

Taglist: @britney-gvf @gretavanmoon @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj@dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta @joopsandjangs @whimsiliz @kiszkas-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @kiszka-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @jenniferkiszka

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whalyrae · 11 months ago

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DANCE WITH ME - CHAPTER 6

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”

Summary : All your life, you thought you were a beta, a simple and boring beta. Until everything change. But now that you've presented yourself as an omega, how will you manage to live and hide it from your six friends and best friend, all alphas and all in the same pack? (a/n : I'm a shit for summary I'm so sorry-)

Genre : soulmate au (of course I'm a bitch for this), omegaverse, bangtan alphas au!, omega reader, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 3k

Warnings : the usual one I guess, like smut, angst, fluff (yeah its a warning for some people ) mention of depression, abusive parents (physically and morally), violence and blood, PTSD, scars, self harm,…

Tag list : @ghostlyworld @kawaiikpoplover268 @scuzmunkie @iamkookiesforyou @00ihatesnaku @stellauniverse @akemiixx01 @aceofcards05 @strxwbloody @seoul9711 @amara-mars @alex-walker-86 @yoongicatcat @xicanacorpse

A/N : Remember me ? Ah, I'm so soooo sorry for the wait, really. I'll not vent again, I already did it last weeks. I'm sorry about the quality of the chapter too… it's not really corrected, there are probably lots of spelling, conjugation, syntax mistakes… I think I've lost the little writing talent I had, really, it's so frustrating :') With this writer block it hasn't really helped either… I can't put the ideas I have in my head into words, and it's getting on my nerves too much…!! Hope you'll like it though even a little, I'll do my best for the next one ! ♥ Thank you so much for all the love and attention you give to this story, you can't imagine how much it means for me !! ♥

Also I made a playlist for the story ! If you have any songs who made you think about the story, you can share it to me and I'll add it on the playlist !

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad | Spotify playlist

Chapter 5 // Chapter 7

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

The room was silent after Jungkook's explanation. He and Yoongi had not waited to go to the oldest of the two's apartments where their partners were. Fortunately, since it was so late in the day, they were all there, and reunited in the same place.

Jungkook shared what he heard during your conversation with Wooyoung and Yeosang. When you said you were an omega.

Jimin was the first to react. Of course, he did.

“I can’t believe it…!” he exclaimed after a few seconds, “She’s my best friend… we’ve known each other since high school! If she were an omega, she would've told me! She can't have lied to me…”

Sitting between Hoseok and Taehyung, he brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs with a pout. He accepted Hoseok's embrace, who placed a kiss on his head.

The other boys stayed silent. Some of them were quite surprised to learn this, but Namjoon, Yoongi and Taehyung weren't so surprised to hear it, something inside them knew it, they just couldn't explain it.

"But that'd explain a lot..." Jimin added with a sigh, " she's quite... different recently..."

He obviously noticed the change in your behavior towards him recently. You were more distant and less tactile, and you tended to isolate yourself more in your room, whereas before, you spent all your free time with them, in one of their apartments.

At first, he thought that the classes and the dancing were exhausting you physically and mentally, like him. And knowing you, you tended to isolate yourself when you weren't feeling well. But it had never lasted as long as it did. He would never have thought that the reason behind it was... that you were an omega.

"We've all noticed it, I think," Jin replied, crossing his arms and looking thoughtful.

"But if she really is an omega," continued Jungkook, "why did she hide it from us? Would she be... afraid of us or something?"

The younger’s question left the room in silence. Everyone had heard about your misadventures with alphas, the behavior of your parents, and your brothers and sisters who were themselves alphas. And even though Jimin had always been the exception to the rule in your life, and now the other boys, you still had a certain reserve towards alphas. And that was as a beta. So, if you were an omega...

“It's not as if it matters anyway,” Namjoon affirmed, “whether she's a beta, an omega, or even an alpha, she's with us, she's part of the pack. But it's true that I'm wondering why she's hiding it from us.”

"Everyone has their wounds, scars, we all do, and we know that our little Y/N has some deep ones that haven't fully healed yet..." Hoseok spoke in a soft, understanding voice, stroking Jimin's hair in a protective, reassuring way.

"It takes time to gain someone's trust, even more so when someone has suffered mistreatment, abandonment, or physical and psychological violence." added Namjoon, crossing his arms.

Namjoon was right, and everyone agreed with him. For them, naturally, it didn't matter whether you were an alpha, a beta, or an omega. You were who you were, whatever your nature.

Everyone also knew what you'd been through with your parents, how they treated you, how they had treated you in the past.

None of them had ever said or done anything inappropriate to you, as they would to any of them.

This was the first time in your life since Jimin that you'd been treated like a real human being with respect and consideration, with no alpha, omega or beta stuffs behind it. You were simply Y/N. That was why you'd been able to open to them, to relax and feel at ease in their presence, but there was still a way to go, they were aware about that.

“It’s easy, we can just go and ask her." Yoongi stood up, ready to leave the apartment, "there's no point in speculating and making yourself feel bad," he continued, giving Jimin a gentle look, "I'm sure she'll be able to help us clear up this issue. She's the best person to tell us about it. "

Yoongi was the most impatient of all. But inside of him, he didn't want to admit that you had hidden something from them. Something that in one way didn't matter, but in another way did, more than they or even you realized.

“Wait hyung!” Jimin grabbed his arms to stop him. “Maybe it’s… something deeper than just a little secret she hides from us… If we go and find her now, she might panic, and things could go badly.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes but didn’t argue with him.

“I don't want to risk losing her... I couldn't bear that.”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair as he thought about how he'd felt when he'd seen you with San earlier in the day. Even though the interaction between you had been completely innocent, he had imagined you leaving him and his companions to go with him, Wooyoung, and their pack. This simple thought had given him a painful sensation in his lower abdomen that made him wince.

He knew you weren't interested in San, or Wooyoung, or anyone else for either (or so he thought). But despite everything, he still had this fear deep inside of him, of losing the people he loved.

"If you'd told her how you felt about her from the start you wouldn't be in this situation."

Jimin turned his head towards Taehyung, surprised and shocked by his words.

"Taehyung!"

"I'm totally right, Jin hyung! He already knows! We've already talked about it several times."

Jimin felt six pairs of eyes on him and shrugged. Yes, it was true that Jimin had confided in Taehyung several times about you. About his feelings for you that he'd kept deep inside him since high school, about his desire for you that only grew stronger with each passing day. More than once, Taehyung had tried to get Jimin to tell you how he felt, but without succeeding in convincing him.

To be honest, it wasn't really a secret that Jimin loved you and that you loved Jimin in return.

At least, it was obvious to everyone except both of you.

“Namjoon, Yoongi, and I were best friends too…” Jin giggled, “And here we are now.”

Namjoon chuckled and nodded. They had already talked about how they had become more than friends. A drunken evening together had been enough to loosen their tongues and open their hearts.

“We need to find a good way to figure out all of this,” concluded Hoseok, “and we should tell her, too. Everything.”

They all glanced at Hoseok. Some of them were tense, especially Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook. But Taehyung, Yoongi, and Namjoon agreed with him.

“I don't know how you've done it, and I don't know how you've kept going all this time, Jimin,” Yoongi let out, stretching.

“Yeah, she's.... fuck I can't even describe it,” Namjoon muttered as he remembered what had happened between you and Yoongi a few weeks ago. In fact, it was that episode that had a triggering effect on him, on how he really felt about you. He also remembered noticing your change at that time, and that he would eventually get the answers to his questions.

Now he had them.

As for Yoongi, he didn't need all that to know that he felt an irrepressible attraction to you, the same as he felt for each of his companions.

They were all attracted to you. It wasn't the first time they'd talked about it, discussed a potential way to confess everything to you.

But how could they tell their roommate and beta friend that her seven alphas’ friends, one of whom had been her best friend since high school, all felt an attraction to her?

And what if her feelings weren’t mutuals to all of them?

“Listen…” Jimin began after few seconds, coming to his senses and straightening up, "I'll talk to her, let me talk to her first... but I need time to think about how to broach the subject, and with evaluations coming up..."

"Certainly Jimin, naturally." Namjoon replied in a gentle voice, moving closer to him and placing a kiss on his forehead, "whatever happens, you won't lose her. No one will lose anyone, I promise."

“But what do we do until then?” Asked Jungkook with a small pout.

“Well, I guess we had to wait, act normally, as we always have. We've been able to hold back all those months. Ah yes… years for you, Jimin.” Jin teased with a playful wink, ignoring the death gaze his boyfriend gave him, “we can hold back a little longer," he then affirmed with a nod, even if he was as unconvinced as his partners.

Their attraction to you was growing by the day. And the little encounter with Namjoon and Yoongi clearly showed that they were finding it harder and harder to contain themselves.

None of them wanted to lose you. And they would never, ever do or say anything to hurt you. They were all convinced that if you really were an omega, you had a good reason for keeping it from them until now.

°°°

You had no idea of the conversation going on upstairs, nor that Jungkook had heard a part of your call with Wooyoung and Yeosang. After hanging up with them, you left your room to go to the kitchen and get something to eat. Noticing that none of your Alpha friends were present in the apartment, you concluded that they had probably decided to spend the evening together. The idea pinched your heart somewhat. Of course, you couldn't blame them, they were together after all, you were just a friend to them (or so you thought). You didn't know why you felt this way. And you didn't like it. As if your life wasn't complicated enough as it was, with the sudden discovery that you were an omega that you didn't know how to handle or how to tell your best alpha friend without him thinking you'd been hiding it from him all these years. Losing him too... you didn't want to think about it. You didn't want to lose either of them.

One good news, however, was that there were currently no signs of potential heat. This gave you more time to think about how you would tell Jimin and the boys.

You didn't know when, or how they would show up, whether it would be like the first time, or not. But Wooyoung had reassured you that you'd feel the first symptoms coming on now that you were aware of your omega condition. With a sigh, you headed into the kitchen to prepare yourself something to eat. Tomorrow would be a busy day, as you and Wooyoung had planned to train for longer than usual, as the fateful date of the demonstration and therefore of the evaluation was next week, and you needed to keep up your strength.

You didn't have the energy or the mood to cook yourself an elaborate meal. Simple instant noodles would do. You were just going to add some meat and eggs to the preparation, nothing more.

It wasn't long afterwards, when you were waiting for the water to boil, leaning against the kitchen counter with your cell phone in hand, that you heard the front door open.

"Oh, you're back already?" you asked, noticing Jimin, Hoseok and Jungkook. "I thought you'd had a lovers' date or something."

Your tone had been sharper and colder than you'd expected. You felt your heart and stomach twist slightly. Your three friends who'd just returned didn't seem to notice though, and so much for the better.

"Not at all, with the evaluations coming up, we don't really have time for this sort of thing anymore!" replied Hoseok with a laugh, approaching her with his hands in his pockets, "what are you making? Instant noodles, really?"

Hoseok's tone seemed accusatory.

"Noona! You're a dancer! You need to eat better than that!" Jungkook exclaimed.

You rolled your eyes, chuckling and shaking your head.

"No time or energy to make me a real thing. Would you like some too? Or have you guys already eaten? Don't say no and then steal my food as you always do!"

You heard Jimin's laughter, quickly followed by Jungkook and Hoseok.

Then, suddenly, reality hit you. It hit you as if a boxer had just punched you in the face.

Your head turned towards them, there they were, simply doing the simplest thing in the world. Talking, laughing, joking. And yet, it was as if it were the most beautiful thing, the most melodious sound you'd ever heard.

Your eyes widened, you stopped breathing for a few seconds, and you just stayed still, staring at them. Your heart was racing fast, too fast.

Oh.

Thinking back, what you were feeling, at that very moment, why your heart was beating so fast when you were with one of them, when you were with Jimin, since high school. This desire to always be with one of them, this feeling of security, of well-being, of safety you felt in their presence. There were no doubts.

Wooyoung and Yeosang had explained it to you. At first, you hadn't really understood what he meant at the time (or you didn't want to understand it, you weren’t ready for that truth), but now everything seemed clear.

As if the fog in your heart and mind had finally cleared.

The attraction of an omega to an alpha, of an alpha to an omega, only worked if the feelings were there too.

It was simple, and logical. You felt a bit foolish.

You couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh, drawing the attention of the three boys.

"Noona? Is everything all right?" Jimin asked, clearly worried.

You looked up at him and noticed with surprise that the water had probably been boiling for many minutes.

Jimin was standing not far from you, his beautiful brown eyes staring back at you. This simple eye contact between you had been enough to make your heart rate quicken again.

"Uh I... yeah, yeah everything's fine...!"

You turned to pick up the packets of instant noodles, noticing without much surprise that Jungkook had added two more.

Your intonation wasn't as confident as you'd hoped. You saw Jimin's gaze become more serious. He took a step towards you, making you take a step back.

You could feel his singular, distinctive scent invading you, as it had since the first day, you'd met in the high school dance club.

How could you not have noticed it before? How could you not have realized?

You were in love with your best friend.

You were in love with your best friend, and his companions, your friends.

Well, technically you'd realized it a few hours earlier when you called Wooyoung and Yeosang. But now, now that you were face to face with the people involved... now that you were confronted with the undeniable truth... things were different, totally different.

Your gestures were suddenly clumsier. You couldn't hide the fact that you were troubled for some reasons unknown to him.

To your relief, Hoseok and Jungkook were in the living room, seemingly focused on some program playing on the TV. But Jimin was still there, scanning you completely.

He was the one who'd known you best, for the longest time. He knew something was wrong, without really knowing exactly what.

How to tell him that in the space of a few weeks, you'd learned you were an omega, but on top of that, you'd just realized how you felt about him and your friends?

It was a lot to take in, to accept for someone who hadn't learned to express her feelings and emotions.

You had to calm down, not panic, not worry Jimin.

As for the last point, it was already a bit of a failure.

"Noona, please, talk to me..." he murmured, his hands resting delicately on your shoulders.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, resting your hands on his. They were so soft, you couldn't help but squeeze them, wanting to hold them longer.

You never wanted to let them go.

"I'm fine, just a little... stressed and tired, it'll get better after the evaluations, I promise."

Jimin didn't seem convinced, and you could read it on his face. You smiled at him and took him into your arms for a long hug, holding him tightly against you.

He seemed surprised at first, but eventually returned your embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist and his head resting against your shoulder.

You made a decision. In truth, you'd made up your mind after your call with Wooyoung and Yeosang, but now you were sure and certain you wanted to do it.

After your evaluations, in less than two weeks, you'd confess everything to the boys.

... well, maybe not about your feelings for them. Not just yet, and maybe you never will. Never could your feelings be returned.

But you owed them the truth that you were an omega. You had an unspeakable fear of reliving the rejection you experienced with your family, but lying to your best friend, to your friends was worse than anything.

As you felt his warmth, his scent takes possession of your being, your body had relaxed.

"I'll always be with you Y/n, no matter what," Jimin murmured, his embrace around you tightening, and you couldn't contain the shiver as his breath brushed up against your skin, "you and me against the whole world, remember?"

He lifted his head, and you stared at him a few seconds before letting out a laugh. You hadn't heard those words since high school.

"Hey lovebirds, you're cute and all huh, but we're starving!”

"We're not lovebirds!" Jimin and you exclaimed at the same time, causing Jungkook and Hoseok, the one who spoke, to burst into hilarity.

You stepped back from Jimin and turned your back to him while he bickered with his two partners, mostly to hide your face and your blushes from them. You took the packets of noodles, the pre-cut meat, and the eggs. You put everything in the boiling water pan, taking long, slow breaths, trying to calm the pounding of your heart.

Damn it. Those guys will really be the death of you.

225 notes · View notes

aflame4goinghome · 5 months ago

Text

Illicit Affairs

d.r.w. x reader

chapter vi

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: THIS STORY CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI!!! swearing, flirting, fluff, power dynamic; SMUT: kissing, touching, fingering, oral sex (f. & m. receiving), unprotected sexual intercourse, semi-public sex, breeding kink if you squint, a bit of exhibitionism, praise kink

A/N: This story is in collaboration with my wonderful, talented friends @gretavanstink & @childinthegardenn!! Go give them a follow and give @gretavanstink’s fics some love! Thanks for reading! :)

Listen to the official playlist on Spotify here!

chapter v

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

“Yes Mom, I packed my chargers!” You shout over your shoulder as you step out into the crisp Michigan evening. As you toss your last bag into the trunk of your car, you sigh and pull out your phone.

To: Rose🌹

Just finished loading the car, gonna say goodbye to my mom and then I’ll be over!

You slam the trunk closed and tap on your text thread with Daniel, a soft smile on your lips as you scroll through the last few messages between you. There hadn’t been much communication over break, just brief check-ins. The most recent was from last week when he was getting ready to go out with some friends from home. It was just a selfie while he was brushing his teeth, but it was possibly one of your favorite photos of him.

You snap a selfie in front of your car and add it to a message to Daniel.

To: Daniel��

All packed! Picking up Rose soon, we should be back around 7

With a long exhale, you head back into the house and smile sadly at your mom in the kitchen. She mirrors your look and steps forward, wrapping her arms around you in a tight embrace that you return. A soft smile spreads across your lips and you bury your face in her shoulder. She’s your biggest supporter and one of your best friends, saying goodbye is always hard.

“I’ll call when we get to the apartment,” you promise and she nods, sniffling quietly.

“Drive safe, honey,” she says, squeezing you one more time before stepping back.

“Don’t miss me too much, momma,” you say. “I love you.” You sigh and walk back outside, pulling the door closed behind you. As you pull the driver’s side door closed, you can see your mom in the window watching you pull out of the driveway. With a wave and another sad smile, you leave your home for Rose’s, humming quietly to whatever song is on the radio.

You park in front of Rose’s house and honk the horn, popping the trunk before stepping out and smiling as she and her mom step onto the porch. Her mom waves with her free hand as they walk towards the car with Rose’s bags, packing them into the trunk and closing it.

“Hi Y/N,” Rose’s mom says, smiling as she pulls you into a warm hug.

“Hi Laura,” you say, returning the squeeze and stepping back as she lets you go. “Thanks again for another memorable New Years.” A grin spreads across all three of your mouths and Rose giggles, recalling the terrible round of very drunk karaoke that took place at the lake house.

“Anytime, hon,” she says before turning to Rose. “You sure you have everything?”

“Yes mother,” Rose teases, smiling as Laura pulls her into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Laura says, squeezing Rose one more time before shooing her into the car. She grabs your hand and squeezes it as you climb into the driver’s side. “Drive safe, let me and your mom know when you get there.”

“We will,” you promise, turning the key in the ignition. “Love you, other mom.”

“Love you, Y/N,” she smiles and pushes the driver’s side door closed, stepping up onto the sidewalk and waving as the car pulls away.

As you merge onto the highway, your phone lights up in its mount on your dashboard with a text from Daniel. Your cheeks flush as Rose grins and side-eyes you.

From: Daniel🥁

Waiting patiently

“So you’re gonna keep this whole thing going?” Rose breaks the silence as you reach up and swipe the notification away. “Are you taking another one of his classes?”

You blow out a breath and roll your shoulders, your cheeks still warm with color. “Yes and yes,” you answer as casually as you can, changing lanes to pass a truck. The day you had scheduled classes for this semester had been a no-brainer, of course you were going to take another one of his classes. You had gone back and forth between a couple of different options, but eventually settled on Byzantine Art and Architecture, wanting to get a little view of Daniel’s specialty.

The rest of the drive turns into a karaoke session only slightly better than New Years and before you know it you and Rose are trudging into your building. You each drop your bags inside the door and flop onto the couch, both of you happy to be back in your own place.

“Are you seeing sexy professor tonight?” Rose asks, lifting an eyebrow in your direction.

“We don’t have plans,” you reply, shrugging and pulling your phone out and opening your texts.

To: Daniel🥁

We’re back!

“Right now I’m going to take a nap,” you say. “Playing chauffeur is exhausting.”

“Oh please!” Rose laughs, her head falling back against the couch. “You never let me drive!”

“Yeah well, you terrify me when you’re behind the wheel,” you giggle and head to your room, leaving your bags in front of your closet and crawling into bed. You sigh as you tug your comforter up around your shoulders and let your eyes close, trying not to let yourself hope for a text from him when you wake up.

You startle at the sound of your phone buzzing from your nightstand and groan, unsure of how long you’d slept, but as you blink the haziness of sleep away, you smile. A call from Daniel lights up your screen and you accept the call, sitting up in your bed.

“Yes?” You ask, the smile on your face evident in your voice.

“Put on something nice and come outside,” he says, the sound of his car running in the background.

“My drive back was great, thanks for asking,” you tease, tossing back your blanket and swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. “I was sleeping when you rudely woke me up.”

“Cute,” he quips, blowing a laugh through his nose. “Now, put on something nice and come outside.”

“Okay, okay pushy,” you giggle, rolling your eyes as you hop off your bed and rifle through the clothes in your closet. “I’ll be out in a few.”

After hanging up, you swap your current leggings and t-shirt combo for a deep purple sweater dress and slip on a pair of black chelsea boots. “I’m going out!” You shout to Rose as you grab your purse and keys and step out into the hall.

When you exit your building, you can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of your lips as you jog down the stairs and open the passenger side door of Daniel’s car. You hardly have the door closed before Daniel’s fingers are tangled in your hair, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss. His tongue swipes across the seam of your lips and you part them, giving him access to stroke his tongue against yours.

“Hi,” you breathe out when you finally break the kiss, your eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze.

“Hi,” he smiles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before pulling the car out onto the road. You settle into your seat and sigh, happy to be back. Obviously, because you get to see Daniel again, but even just being back in the city has helped your mood.

“So,” he begins, drawing you out of your thoughts. “How was your break?”

“It was good,” you reply, glancing over at him as he drives. “I’m glad to be back, though.”

“I’m sure you are, sweetheart,” Daniel says, moving his hand from the steering wheel to rest on your thigh, just below where your dress stops. Your cheeks heat and you feel the color spread down your chest as a smirk graces his lips. His fingers knead into your flesh gently and you sigh, resting your head back against the seat but turning your face to look at Daniel while he drives.

He must have come straight from the office to get you, as he’s wearing his usual black slacks and white button-up. Of course his sleeves are rolled up, exposing the cords of muscle of his forearms that he knows drive you wild. And, despite the chill of Detroit in January, the top few buttons of his shirt are undone, giving you just a glimpse of his chest hair. You know you’re staring, but you can’t bring yourself to care as his thumb traces circles on your skin.

He glances at you, turning his eyes back to the road quickly, and for a moment you can see a genuine smile on Daniel’s face before it shifts into his usual smug smirk. “Penny for your thoughts,” he says, his hand drifting up your thigh, pushing the hem of your dress up a fraction.

“Just content,” you say simply, turning away from him as you feel the color in your cheeks spread to the tips of your ears. Daniel hums in response and draws his hand further up your thigh, exposing more of your skin with every inch he moves.

“Just content?” He parrots, turning it into a question, as his hand slips between your thighs, brushing against the silk covering your core. You shiver under his touch and bite back a sigh, your arousal beginning to soak through where his hand now rests. “Seems to me that you’re a little more than content,” he adds, slipping a finger beneath the fabric and dragging it through your folds.

“Daniel,” you moan softly, your eyes fluttering closed as you let your legs fall apart slightly. His finger flicks against your clit, making you jump, before he pulls his hand away entirely, returning it to the steering wheel. You whine and shift in your seat, the complete loss of contact making you pout.

“Not so content now?” Daniel asks, his lips curving into a wicked smirk as you squeeze your thighs together. He laughs as he puts his hand on your seat and looks over his shoulder to back into a parking space. You swear you could fall apart at just the sound of his laugh.

“You’re cruel,” you quip, shooting him a glare before hopping out of the car before he cuts the engine. You hear his laugh again and your knees threaten to give out as he slips out of the driver’s side, his hand sliding across your lower back as he steps up next to you.

“Come on,” Daniel says, nudging you towards the bar down the street. You roll your eyes as you start walking and Daniel leans down to press a kiss to your temple. “I’ll take care of you later,” he whispers in your ear as he opens the door for you, swatting your ass lightly as you pass by him and into the bar.

As you step up to the bar, Daniel pulls a stool out for you, his hand brushing your hair away from your neck as his lips ghost over your skin before he takes his seat on the stool next to you. You shiver, goosebumps raising down your arms and legs, and situate yourself on the bar stool, trying to ignore the heat between your legs.

“Gin and tonic?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you as the bartender approaches your section of the bar. You nod as your cheeks flush, he remembered your drink order. As quickly as the thought comes, you force it away. It’s not like it’s a complicated drink order. But you can’t deny the butterflies it gave you. Daniel orders for the two of you and soon enough you’re sipping your drink as he swirls his old fashioned, his free hand coming to rest on your thigh again.

“So,” you say, breaking the silence. “You missed me.”

You nibble on the end of your straw and smile innocently, angling your body towards him. He lifts his drink to his mouth and you study the way his lips touch the edge of the glass, the way his Adam’s apple moves as he swallows. And then his eyes lock with yours and you fight the urge to look away.

“From the car ride over here, I’d say you missed me, baby,” he replies as he lowers his glass back to the bartop, squeezing your thigh roughly as he turns his body towards you, your knees now nestled between his. You bite back a moan and narrow your eyes at him. Two can play this game.

“Says the one who showed up at my apartment barely two hours after I got back,” you say, your forefinger tracing shapes on the inside of his forearm as he rests it on the bar. Your voice is sickeningly sweet as you look up at him through your eyelashes, raising an eyebrow and tilting your head to the side slightly before adding, “Professor.”

You watch as Daniel shifts on his stool and you smile triumphantly, the idea that you’re just as good at getting under his skin as he is with you fueling your boldness. Until he grabs your stool and pulls you closer, bringing his lips to your ear.

“You want me to tell you how I missed you?” He whispers, his fingers slipping under the fabric of your dress slightly.

“How I missed the sounds you make?” His fingertips dig into your thigh, his other hand leaving the bar to trace the contour of your neck, sending a chill down your spine. “The way the taste of you lingers on my tongue? The way it feels when your pussy squeezes my cock as you cum?”

Daniel pulls back to look at you and grins as he takes in the blush that has crept over your entire face and disappears below the neckline of your dress. He smirks and winks, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as his eyes rake over you. “Poor thing, you really thought you were winning that battle,” he teases.

“Again, you’re cruel,” you huff and swat his hand away as he chuckles and tosses back the rest of his drink. His eyes flick between your face and your drink, the one that you’re currently still biting the straw of. You pause for a moment and look up at him indignantly, holding his stare as you wrap your lips around the straw and drain your glass.

“Let’s go,” Daniel says as he tosses a $50 onto the bar and grabs your hand, pulling you towards the door. You smirk and follow after him, jogging lightly to keep up as he leaves the bar with you in tow. In the time that you’d been inside, it had started to mist outside.

“Where are we-” you start to say before you’re cut off by Daniel pulling you into the alley that runs next to the bar and pinning you against the wall. He plants one hand on your waist, the other tangling in your hair at the nape of your neck and tugging your head back slightly. You meet his eyes and smile innocently, batting your eyelashes. “Did I strike a nerve?”

Daniel tugs on your hair and your breath catches in your throat, your lips parting as you stare up at him. He captures your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue stroking against yours as he presses you into the wall with his hips. You feel him hard against you and your knees threaten to give out as you moan softly into the kiss. His free hand moves to the back of your thigh and he hitches your leg up, your dress riding up as he grinds against you.

“I missed-” you pant against his lips, cut off by what had been a light mist turning into a full shower. Daniel lifts his head and looks up at the sky and both of you fall into a fit of laughter as you fix your dress and he grabs your hand. You jog back to his car together and you reach for the passenger side door, but Daniel tugs on your hand and spins you so you’re pinned against the back door.

“Daniel,” you giggle, bracing your hands on his chest. “It’s raining.” You stare up at him, his curls hanging heavily and his white shirt clinging to his skin as the rain soaks you both, and you realize you’d do anything to stay in this moment forever.

“I know,” he says simply, his eyes roaming your face. “You missed me.” He smirks and pulls you away from the car, opening the door and nudging you into the backseat.

You raise an eyebrow at him as you scoot back across the seats, leaning against the opposite door as he climbs in after you. You dangle one leg off the seat and slowly bend your other, your dress riding up as you rest your leg against the back of the seat. Daniel pulls the door closed and he blows out a breath as his eyes travel up your body, pausing for a moment on the black silk barely hidden by your dress now.

“I remember you,” he says, kneeling with one leg between yours, the other braced on the floor to keep him on the seat. His calloused fingers scrape against your skin as he pushes your dress up, the skirt now fully bunched around your waist, leaving you exposed. You shiver as the cold January air kisses your skin and Daniel drops his lips to your jaw, one hand planted beside your head on the door. His other hand brushes between your thighs and you feel his lips pull into a smirk as he trails kisses down your neck. “You’re soaked.”

“Well, it is raining,” you breathe out, wishing he would stop teasing you and give you the contact you’ve been craving.

“Not what I meant, smartass,” he says, and you shiver as the breath from his laugh rushes over your skin.

“Daniel,” you whisper, your fingers tangling in his wet curls. “Touch me.”

“Gladly,” he says and lifts his head, flashing you a smile before his lips take yours again and his hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties. You sigh softly against his lips as he makes slow, lazy circles around your clit and you break from the kiss to lean your head back against the door. Daniel hums and smirks, bringing his lips back to your neck.

“That’s it, baby,” he murmurs against your skin. “Relax and let me take care of you.” His fingers drift away from your clit and you almost whine, but the sound catches in your chest as he slowly presses his middle finger into you, curling it forward to stroke against your g-spot. Your eyes flutter closed as your hips rock forward to meet the gesture, a quiet moan escaping your lips as Daniel sets an easy pace.

“Please,” you whimper, needing more from him.

“Please what?” He asks, nipping at your ear as he uses his thumb to circle your swollen bud.

“More,” you beg, rolling your hips again.

“So needy,” he teases, sucking at the spot below your ear as he adds a second finger, curling it in sync with the other and quickening the circles he makes with his thumb.

“Fuck,” you gasp, feeling your release start to build in your abdomen. You meet his pace with your hips, riding his fingers as you chase your orgasm. “Don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he assures you, his fingers and thumb working in tandem to send you spiraling. Your thighs tremble as you start to come apart, your head spinning as you bite your lip to stifle your moans.

“Let go,” Daniel whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. Your back arches and your mouth falls open as you unravel, his name tangled with the moans falling from your lips. His fingers slow as he works you through your climax, his lips still against your ear as he whispers praise to you. “So good for me, that’s it.”

When you open your eyes, you find him staring back at you, a pleased smirk tugging at his lips. He slowly takes his hand from between your legs and holds your gaze as he sucks his fingers into his mouth, humming around them before removing them. Your cheeks flush bright pink and you fight the urge to break from his stare.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Daniel says finally, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips as he tugs the skirt of your dress back down for you. “Come on, let’s get you home.” He pops the door open, climbing out first and helping you out of the back and into the passenger seat.

The short drive back is quiet, just the sound of music coming from the radio filling the car, and Daniel’s hand rests on your thigh, only leaving its place when he parks the car in front of your building.

“Thanks for the welcome back,” you say, running your fingers through your damp hair and laughing softly. He smiles and winks, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“See you in class,” he replies, chuckling at the look of surprise on your face. “What? You think I didn’t notice your name on the class roster?”

“Whatever,” you quip, rolling your eyes playfully. “See you in class, professor.”

· · ──────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

The first few days of the semester go the way they usually do, incredibly boring. It was mostly going over syllabi and test dates and assignments throughout the semester. The first day of Daniel’s class had been the only even somewhat interesting day, and that was just because you got to see him briefly. It’s a smaller class, being a higher level and all, but somehow there had been so many questions regarding the syllabus that you hadn’t been able to get him alone. In fact, you haven’t had him alone since Saturday night and you’re starting to think you might be going through withdrawal.

As your first Thursday lecture wraps up, you slip your laptop into your bag and sling it over your shoulder as you stand, eager to get over to the art building. Back-to-back lectures usually made you question your sanity, but Daniel’s lectures never felt like lectures. Maybe because of who was doing the talking, but you genuinely found yourself enjoying the subject.

You pop your earbuds in as you walk out into the chilly morning, humming softly as Hozier’s Too Sweet fills your head, and make your way across campus. As you step into the building and make your way to the classroom, you spot the girl that had sat a few seats away from you in Daniel’s class on Tuesday. You quicken your pace slightly and catch up with her, adjusting your bag on your shoulder.

“Hey,” you greet her with a smile. “I think we sat in the same row the other day.”

“Oh hey,” she says, returning the smile as you walk into the room together. “Yeah, we did. I’m Allison.”

“Y/N,” you offer, sidestepping down the third row to your seat. You slip your laptop back out of your bag and set it on your desk, opening up the notes you took while you did your reading last night. “So, art major?”

“Yep,” Allison says, leaving a seat in between you as she retrieves a notebook from her bag. “Art history. You?”

“Oh, I’m a philosophy major,” you say, brushing a speck of dust off your screen. “I just have a special interest in art history.”

The two of you chat as the room fills up and you glance over your shoulder just as Daniel walks into the room. You mouth a quick “Hi” as his eyes meet yours and turn back to your conversation with Allison. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Daniel watching the two of you and, when the conversation ends, you glance at him. His eyes flick between you and Allison but he just shrugs, his expression bordering on bored as he puts today’s slides on the projector.

“Alright,” he says, clapping his hands as he stands from the desk. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Daniel gestures up at the screen as he starts his usual pacing, his eyes scanning the room. “Who did the reading and knows what this is?”

You look up at the screen and smile to yourself, raising your hand and looking at Daniel expectantly. His eyes don’t fall on you, though. Instead, he cocks his head to the side and raises his eyebrows at a seat to your right.

“Allison,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. You drop your hand into your lap and pick at your thumb absently, trying not to pout as she answers.

“It’s the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul,” she says confidently, her face remaining indifferent.

“Someone did the reading,” Daniel says, nodding his head at her. You glance at her to see a smug smirk on her lips. “Now can anyone tell me what was special about the Hagia Sophia?” Your hand goes up again and this time Daniel nods to you.

“The architects pioneered the use of pendentives to redistribute the weight of the dome over the square base,” you explain, smiling as Daniel nods and continues his path up the aisle.

“Very good,” he says. His eyes linger on you for a moment before he advances to the next slide, launching into an explanation about the structure beneath the dome. As Daniel flies through the slides, you’re glad you took notes on the reading, you would’ve had trouble keeping up. Even with your notes, you find yourself missing a few details. Oh well, you think. At least it’ll give you an excuse to visit his office.

Before you know it, the class is finally over and it’s time to go home for the weekend. As the students start to clear out of the classroom, you pick up your backpack and look over at the desk at the front. Right as your eyes fall on him, Daniel looks up from his laptop and gives you a soft smile, then nods in your direction, telling you to come over. You oblige, looking over both of your shoulders to see if anyone is paying that close attention before walking out of the aisle and to the front of the room.

“Walk up to my office with me? I have some things that I need to discuss with you,” he says as he stands up from the chair and slips his computer into his bag. You nod and wait for him to pack up, then follow him up to his office. You hate to admit it, but talking to him in his office after class was always something you looked forward to. Especially if there wasn’t much talking being done. You don’t think that’s where it’s heading today, though.

As soon as you reach the third floor, you walk over to his office and enter the room, shutting the door behind you. He sets his things down on the desk and leans back against it, crossing his arms over his torso as he looks over at you. His expressions soften as he just looks at you for a brief moment, as though he’s taking you in.

“Do you have anything going on tomorrow night?” he asks, his eyes searching yours. You catch a glimpse of hope in them, which makes you smile.

“No, not really. I probably would just be spending it at home, why?” you answer, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. You can see his lips quirk upward into a smile, just for a moment.

“Well, I’ve got this gig at the club with Sam and the other guys tomorrow,” he says casually. You wait for him to say more, but nothing else comes out. You look up at him and can sense some nerves, so you think that some light teasing could do the trick.

“Hmmm, I see… And?” you ask, smirking up at him as you cross your arms to mirror him. He breathes out a quiet sigh of defeat.

“And… I was wondering if you would want to come?” he continues, his pride slightly stunted by your act of feigned obliviousness. You giggle quietly to yourself and let it simmer before replying.

“I don’t know,” you say curtly. His eyebrows raise up as he studies you. “Do you want me to come?” The corner of his mouth turns upward into a smirk as he pushes off the desk and approaches you.

“Oh, this is how you want to play today. Okay,” he says, leaning his hands on either side of the chair as he towers over you. You feel your cheeks flush as he gets closer, cornering you in. “Yes, I want you to come. Very much.” His nose brushes against yours as you look up at him and your lips turn upward into a smile.

“Yeah?” you ask.

“Yeah. Need my number one fan there to keep me on point,” he answers, his lips so close to yours that you can feel his breath.

“Who said I was your number one fan?” you jest, and you see him roll his eyes before moving one of his hands to cup your chin and tilt your head up.

“You’re not fooling anyone, baby,” he says, his lips only centimeters from yours. You can tell that he’s holding himself back, but he won’t give in until he gets your answer. “So, you’ll come?”

“Of course I’ll come,” you say, smiling at him before he finally closes the distance between you. His hand cups your cheek softly, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he leans into you. After a short moment, he pulls away, retreating back behind his desk.

“Did you drive today?” he asks. You shake your head.

“No, not today. Rose borrowed my car to go to the grocery store this morning, so I just took the bus,” you answer with a shrug.

“I see,” he says, gliding his tongue along his bottom lip as he thinks for a moment before looking down at his desk and starting to gather some papers up. “Let me take you home, then. I just have to pack up some things here first.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary. I don’t mind the bus,” you insist. You can tell that he isn’t going to take that answer.

“Sweetheart, it’s below freezing outside. I’m taking you home,” he asserts, his eyebrows softening as he looks across at you over the desk. You sigh, then offer a shy smile before relenting. He puts some papers into his bag and then walks the two of you to the parking garage not far from the building.

The ride is brief and mostly silent, with the radio playing quietly in the background. You can tell it’s the classic rock station because every once and a while, you can hear him humming the melody of the song under his breath. You didn’t always notice little things like that about people, but with him you almost couldn’t help it.

He pulls up in front of your building and puts the car in park, leaning his elbow on top of the center console as you turn to him to say your goodbyes. His other hand reaches up to cup your cheek, leaning in to kiss your lips softly. His hand pets your hair softly before pulling away to let you out of the car. He leans over a bit to reach for the handle, pulling it and pushing the door open for you. Considering how long his arms are, he didn’t have to reach much.

“Thanks for the ride,” you offer, smiling at him as you step out of the passenger side door.

“It was no trouble. See you tomorrow, love,” he answers, smiling widely and sending over a quick wink before you shut the car door and retreat to your building.

Your cheeks are completely red at the nickname as you walk, rather quickly, into the building and up to your apartment. You almost run to your room, shutting the door loudly behind you and jumping into your bed. Almost on cue, Rose bursts into your room and sits on the edge of your bed with a smug look on her face.

“What did he do now?” she asks with a smirk. God, how does she always know? You sigh, throwing your head back onto your pillow.

“He invited me to a show he’s playing tomorrow,” you sigh again, sitting up on your elbows to look at her. “He told me he wants me to come.” Rose shrieks and you throw your hands onto your face to cover the blush on your cheeks. “That’s not even the worst part.”

“When he said goodbye just now, he called me love,” you say, your hands still covering your face. You feel her smack your legs excitedly.

“Oh my god, he loves you!” Rose yells, laughing gleefully.

“Shut up, he does not love me! It’s not like that, it was just a nickname,” you answer, rolling your eyes.

The next hour consists of her teasing you about Daniel and how much he loves you, which you find absolutely absurd. She also helps you pick out an outfit to wear tomorrow, which you’re grateful for. She finds a leather skirt that you had at the back of your closet, which is perfect. You pair it with a tight white halter top and find a white lace bra to match. You knew he loved it when you’d match your lingerie, so you had to throw that in.

The next day, you get ready for the night, putting on your makeup and curling your hair loosely. You get dressed and slide on a pair of black heeled boots and then head out to the living room. Rose offered to drive you there, since you have a feeling that you’ll be staying the night.

“Have fun! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Rose shouts as she pulls up in front of the club and you quickly get out of the car.

“That’s a low bar!” you quip back, shutting the door and then walking into the club. It’s already bustling, with the bar lined up with people. As you approach the bar, you see Daniel there, leaning against it at the end. As he sees you approaching, his head perks up and he flashes you a charming smile.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. He places a quick kiss on your lips, and you can feel him smiling against them. His excitement to have you there was so cute, you feel like you could just die on the spot.

“Hi, Daniel,” you answer, looking up at him with a soft smile. His arm stays around your waist as his thumb strokes the exposed skin of your midriff softly. “Feeling nervous?”

“With you here? Never,” he says confidently with a smirk. After a beat, you see his eyes wander to something behind you and he checks his watch. “It’s about that time, I’ve gotta go.”

“Alright. I think I’m gonna get something to drink,” you answer with a reassuring smile. He nods and gets the bartender's attention for you, who nods and then assists the person he’s with at the end of the bar first before coming over.

“Order whatever you want baby, you can just tell them to put it on my tab,” he says with a soft smile as he leans down to place a kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll come find you after, yeah?” With that, he rubs your back sweetly before turning to walk down the long corridor to the back of the stage.

You lean over the bar and wait for the bartender to come over, ordering yourself a gin and tonic. Soon enough, he hands you your drink and you turn to find a seat in the crowd. You see an empty chair in the front and quickly sit down. Luckily for you, it has the perfect view of the drum set.

You swirl the ice around in your cup with your straw nervously as you wait for the band to come on stage. It’s your first time seeing Daniel perform since the night you met, which is somewhat daunting. The show taking place in the same exact bar doesn’t do much for your nerves either, sending waves of memories through your head and clouding your thoughts.

The group of men finally walk across the stage and you recognize Sam first, who sits at the piano to your left. The guitarist and saxophonist walk across next, who you don’t really know or recognize, but your mind is immediately distracted from them once you see Daniel out of the corner of your eye.

You watch as he sits down behind the drums, stretching his arms out and cracking his knuckles before taking his drumsticks out of his back pocket. You roll your eyes and try to hide the flush of your cheeks as he twirls one of them through his fingers, looking over at you with a smirk. He’s playing a dangerous game, and you fully intend to play along.

Daniel starts the first song off, hitting the snare drums hard before the rest of the band comes in, picking up a quick funk beat. You nod along, trying your best to spread your attention to all of them and listen to the music, but you can’t help it when your eyes are just glued to Daniel. Your Daniel.

The second that thought falls into your head, you attempt to shake it away. He’s not yours. But, isn’t he? It may not be explicitly labeled, but you can confidently say that you’re the only one he’s going home with tonight, no one else. That’s enough to fuel your confidence for now. Anyone can look, but no one else gets to have him– not like you do.

And, God, you want to have him right now. His sleeves are rolled up slightly above his elbows and you can see the muscles of his forearm flexing each time he has a particularly long solo. Your eyes linger there longer than you intended and when you finally look up, he’s looking right at you.

You bite your lip absentmindedly and he responds with his tongue pressing up against the inside of his cheek and raising his eyebrows at you. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you and it only spurs you on more. You adjust in your seat, crossing one leg over the other and fixing your skirt. You rub your legs together slightly just to give yourself any friction and you can already feel your arousal starting to pool between them. This show couldn’t end soon enough.

The teasing back and forth continues throughout the entire first set. By the time they finish their last song and step off the stage for a quick fifteen-minute break, you can hardly sit still in your seat. The second he walks off the stage, he immediately approaches you, walking up from behind you to lean down over your shoulder and kiss your cheek. His arms caress your shoulders as his nose brushes against your cheek and his warm breath tickles your skin.

“You up for some reminiscing?” Daniel whispers against the shell of your ear in almost a growl. You turn your head over your shoulder to face him, your noses now touching.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you answer with a smirk and he offers you his hand, which you swiftly take in yours. Before you know it, you’re walking down a dimly lit hallway toward the bathrooms, hand-in-hand. You were getting a strong feeling of deja vu, just like you knew you would.

His hands cage you against the wall as his lips race to meet yours, hurried and desperate. He towers over you, his shadow engulfing you completely, and your head is spinning from the sensation of his tongue gliding against your lips to request access. His left hand moves to grip your hip tightly as the other reaches next to you to open the door to the bathroom, turning the handle and flinging it open. Still not removing his lips from yours, he swiftly guides you into the bathroom.

“Still no lock on the door, huh? Think you can handle it?” he says, his voice raspy and dripping in sex. You smirk as you back him against the wall next to the door, pushing his shoulders back before lowering yourself to your knees.

“We’ll just have to be quick then, won’t we?” you say, looking up at him through your eyelashes before reaching to undo his belt. You see his eyes almost roll back in his head as he bites his lip, reaching down to undo the belt as you pull the zipper down and reach inside his boxers to take his painfully hard cock in your hand.

You lick a long stripe from the base up to the tip and you smirk as his head falls back against the wall and he lets out a low groan. You wrap your lips around the tip, humming around him before slowly sinking down to take him completely in your mouth. His hands wrap around your hand, pulling it back out of your face as you take him all the way back, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck, sweetheart, just like that,” he groans, his thumb stroking your cheek. You groan against him and his hips buck against you sharply, making you moan another time. You move your thighs together subtly, craving any sort of friction to distract yourself from your need for him. It isn’t subtle enough, though, because he immediately notices and pulls your head off him.

“Aw, does she need some attention too?” he teases mockingly, pulling you up off the floor and backing you up against the sink, which feels oddly familiar. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.” His lips capture yours quickly before his hand resting on your hips moves to flip you around to make you lean over the sink and face the mirror.

He bends down and slides your skirt up to rest above your hips, then moves the fabric of your thong over to expose you to him. His fingers run through your slick and a stifled whimper escapes your throat. You don't even need to see him to know that he’s smirking behind you.

“So wet and needy for me, fuck… you just couldn’t wait, could you?” he says from behind you in a low growl. Before you have time to respond, his lips immediately attack your core, his tongue lapping through your arousal.

“Shit!” you exclaim, bracing yourself against the sink as his hands grip your thighs tightly and his tongue teases your clit. He groans against you, sending shock waves throughout your body as you try not to completely collapse right then and there. If it wasn’t for his grip on your thighs, you probably would have fallen to the floor already.

One of his hands leaves your thigh and moves to rub tight circles around your clit as his tongue dives through your folds, making your eyes roll back in your head. You feel your high approach at a rapid pace and you can hardly control the vulgar noises coming from your mouth. With almost no warning, your orgasm hits you hard and fast, washing over you so intensely that your vision goes blurry. He works you through it, lapping at you like a starved man before finally removing his mouth from you. You watch in the mirror as he stands up and removes himself from his pants again, rubbing his tip through your folds as his other hand rests tightly on your waist.

“Now this feels awfully familiar, doesn’t it?” he asks with a smirk, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck and nibbling lightly as you feel him position himself behind you. Right as his tip starts to slip inside you, you’re startled by loud repetitive knocking at the door behind you.

“Daniel, I don’t care or want to know what you’re doing in there, but if you’re not backstage in the next two minutes, then we are going to have a serious fucking problem,” you hear the voice from behind the door yell, which you immediately recognize to be Sam. Fuck, when he said we’d be reminiscing, you didn’t think being interrupted was part of the deal.

“Fucking hell,” Daniel mutters under his breath. “Alright, okay, I’ll be right there,” he answers loudly. He reaches down to tuck himself back into his boxers, zipping up his pants then adjusting his belt. He wraps his arms around your torso and places soft kisses from your collarbone up to your jaw, humming softly before resting his head on top of your shoulder.

“Sorry, baby,” he offers softly, kissing your cheek. He leans back to bend down and look at you, still wet and dripping for him. You hear him mutter another “fuck” under his breath and then, to your surprise, he yanks your thong down your legs. You quickly turn around and give him a puzzled look, to which he chuckles as he slides the thong into his back pants pocket.

“Just a keepsake to remind me of what I have to look forward to after this night is over,” he smirks, reaching to pull your skirt back down over your thighs for you with a wink. He kisses your temple softly before turning to open the door and then retreating backstage.

You stand there stunned for a moment, unsure of how you could possibly continue after that. After a quick existential crisis, you leave the bathroom and walk back to the bar, ordering yourself a double tequila soda and opting to sit at a barstool. You could not possibly handle another set full of teasing in your current state, so you think that it would be better to stay back here out of his view. The effect he has on you is completely and utterly pathetic, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

· · ──────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

Your hiding spot at the bar ended up being the best idea you could have ever come up with, and the set went off without any other distractions. You still found him looking your way here and there, but you successfully avoided getting yourself any more hot and bothered than you already were. By the time the show ended, you had finished your second drink and were successfully tipsy.

Between the teasing, your interruption in the bathroom, and the tequila coursing through your veins, you were beyond ready to take him home. Once the show ends and he starts to approach you from backstage, you sit there praying that he’s thinking the same thing. As he sits down on the stool next to you, your lips turn downward into a small frown. He waves over to the bartender and waits for him to come over.

“What are you doing?” you ask, crossing your arms across your stomach with a small pout. The corner of his mouth tweaks into a smirk before he replies.

“Ordering a drink,” he says smugly before the bartender comes over and hands him an old-fashioned. “What, don’t want to stay for another round? Got other plans?” He leans his elbow on the bar and takes a sip of his drink as he looks down at you, waiting for your answer. He knew exactly what you were thinking, so clearly he just wanted to play with you. Fine, two can play at that game.

“Nope,” you answer with a sarcastic smile. “No plans at all actually. Another drink would be great.” His tongue runs against his bottom lip before he nods and then turns to the bartender to get you another gin & tonic. He hands it to you and then turns his body toward you to continue the conversation.

“So, what’d you think of the second set?” he asks, resting his arm on the bar and scooching slightly closer to you. His knees brush against yours, slotting on either side of them as he hovers over you. You adjust in your seat, causing your skirt to ride up on your thighs slightly. Your eyes flick up to gauge his reaction and know that you’ve succeeded when you find them to be glued to your bare legs. You knew he was thinking about the fact that there was nothing beneath your skirt, and the thought thrilled you.

“It was good! I liked that one Latin song near the end a lot,” you answer truthfully, offering him a soft smile. Countering your innocent façade, your hand in your lap moves to his knee, where your pointer finger traces small circles. You watch as he breathes out a long breath and licks his lips, then takes a sip of his drink.

“Glad to hear that, I thought you might,” he says. With the alcohol in your system fueling your boldness, you allow your fingers to move upward from his knee to his inner thigh. Before you can get too far, however, a strong hand stops your hand and grasps around your wrist. “It would be wise of you to stop before you start something you can’t finish,” he warns. You look up at him and instead of a stern look across his face, you find a smirk.

“Who says I can’t finish it?” you say, looking up at him as you take a sip of your drink through your straw. You watch closely as he looks over to the bar, waves the bartender over, and hands him his credit card. Before you can even fully finish your drink, Daniel’s hand is laced tightly with yours as he hastily guides you down the street and around the corner toward his apartment building. Mission: accomplished.

He barely even shuts the door to his apartment completely before his lips attach to yours again and his fingers lace through your curls. You both kick your shoes off hurriedly as he backs you up toward his bedroom, pulling on your curls every once and a while, eliciting quiet whines from your throat. You can feel his smirk against your lips as he walks you through the threshold of his bedroom and shuts the door with his foot, backing you up until the backs of your legs hit the bed. Before he has the chance to lay you down on the bed, you interrupt him.

“Lay down,” you hum against his lips before slipping out from under him, letting him lie down first on the bed. He quirks an eyebrow at you but obeys, intrigued by what you have planned for him. After he sits at the top of the bed, leaning on his elbows against the headboard, you climb up to straddle the bottom of his legs.

You keep your eyes locked on his as you slowly unbuckle his belt, unlacing the leather from the buckle and sliding the zipper down. His eyes are dark, his dark brown eyes almost black in the pitch-black room, only lit up by the streetlights outside the window and the low light from the bathroom. You dip your fingers into the waistline of his pants and gently pull, bringing them down all the way to his ankles. Before tossing them to the floor, you reach into the back pocket and take out your thong that had been there all night, looking up at him with a smirk before tossing them both to the floor.

You crawl up his legs to straddle him, wrapping your hands around his neck as you bring his mouth up to meet yours. Your skirt has ridden up significantly by now, pooling at your waist and revealing your bare core as you sat on top of him. His hands sat steadily on your waist, holding tightly as you ground yourself down on him. A low groan leaves his throat and is muffled against your lips, making you smile against him as your tongue slips past his lips and meets his.

His hand moves from your waist to pull the zipper of your skirt down behind you, pulling it down all the way then discarding it to the floor next to you. The same hand moves along your body up your torso to grasp at your breast through your tight shirt, squeezing tightly before reaching to pull the shirt off completely. Your fingers fumble with the buttons of his shirt, undoing each one before helping him slide it down his shoulders.

Your fingers glide down his chest as you remove your lips from his to slide down his body, hovering over his legs. You slip your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down all the way and tossing them to the side before taking his cock in your hand, pumping it a few times as you watch his eyes roll back in his head. You lean down over him, licking small stripes along the base before taking it in your mouth entirely, sinking down until your nose hits his stomach, brushing against the hair there. You watch as his head leans back against the headboard and his mouth is slightly agape, with soft groans leaving his lips. You grip his thighs tightly as you move your head, moaning slightly against him as you rub your legs together. You’d love nothing more than to make him finish right there, but you knew he wouldn’t let you.

“Fuck, stop– not gonna last,” he groans, reaching down to pull your head off of him then wipes a spot of saliva off of your lips with his thumb. “Get up here.”

You bite your lip and nod, moving up his body to straddle him once more. You position yourself above him and slowly sink down, adjusting to his size before taking him completely. You can’t stop the whine that leaves your mouth from the stretch, which is only amplified when his lips suck deep marks along your throat. His left hand caresses your breast softly as the other is planted firmly on your hip, guiding you down onto his cock as you throw your head back with a moan.

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” Daniel mumbles against your skin, soothing the spot on your neck with his tongue before moving to your collarbone, sinking his teeth in slightly. You keep a steady pace as you ride him, trying to stay focused as he continues to leave marks along your skin.

After a few moments of you taking the lead, you can tell that he’s growing impatient, and soon enough, his hands move to grip your ass tightly before his hips begin to slam up into you harshly. You brace yourself on the headboard as he fucks up into you, his pace brutal and deep. The sensation is almost too much to handle and you bite your lip in an attempt to stifle any loud cries. Seeing your struggle, he leans up to capture your lips in his.

His tongue slips past your lips and tangles with yours, and you feel completely engulfed by him. He delivers a particularly hard thrust and you whine into his mouth, spurring him on as he pulls his hand back and smacks your ass. He drinks in your arousal as you let out another moan into his mouth and his calloused hand soothes the spot along your skin before delivering another slap in the same spot.

“Mmm, fuck, I’m close,” he mutters against your lips, gripping your ass firmly as his pace becomes unsteady. Your head is spinning and all you can even think about is just the feeling of him inside you, clouding your judgment.

“Fuck, please,” you whine, not even sure what you’re begging for. Just the thought of him finishing inside you at this moment was enough to bring you teetering over the edge. One of his hands slides up your back and grips the back of your neck as he pulls his lips off of yours, brushing his nose against yours as he looks up at you with his darkened eyes.

“Yeah, you want that?” he growls, lacing his fingers through the hair on the back of your neck and gripping tightly as he pounds into you. You nod feverishly, looking down at him with pleading eyes. “You want me to pump you all nice and full?” Your eyes almost roll back in your head at his words, but fuck, did you want that.

“Yes, please,” you plead, leaning your forehead against his as you can hardly keep yourself up with your impending orgasm.

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he groans, thrusting harshly into you and throwing you immediately into your second orgasm of the night. The tight grip he holds on your hair keeps you grounded as he works you through it, thrusting hurriedly before meeting his own end. His other hand grasps the flesh of your ass tightly as his hips meet yours and you feel him finish deep inside you. He thrusts a few more times slowly, placing soft kisses along your jawline and on your cheek before lifting you up and off of him.

Daniel pulls you in for a slow kiss, his lips engulfing your top lip as you sit atop his torso, your hands tangled in his tight curls. As you move from straddling him, his eyes fall to watch as his release drips out of you onto his stomach. They roll back in his head as he moves to sit up on his elbows.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he groans, his eyes lingering on you as you get off the bed and walk toward the bathroom. You turn over your shoulder to see if he’s following you and you giggle as he quickly gets up off the bed and follows after you, shutting the door behind him.

After a brief shower, the two of you retreat back to his bedroom. He finds his boxers on the floor and slides them on, picking up his white button-up along with it. You smile as he tosses it over for you to put on. You accept it happily, sliding on your thong then slipping the shirt over your shoulders and buttoning a few of the buttons in the middle, just enough to keep it on.

“How do you always manage to look better in my own clothes than I do?” he asks with a laugh, laying down on his side of the bed and leaning up on his elbow to look over at you.

“It must be a high bar considering how good you look in them,” you answer cheekily, smiling at him as you climb into bed next to him. “I don’t have to stay, you know. I don’t wanna intrude,” you add, looking over at him hopefully. Despite the sweet nature of your relationship lately, you can’t help but feel insecure over how comfortable you’re starting to get with him.

“No, I want you to stay,” he says with a soft smile, brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. “I like having you here.” The spurt of bare honesty in this moment took you slightly aback. It’s the first time that he’s actually explicitly expressed these kinds of feelings toward you, and it shoots a pang of concern through your heart.

You really don’t want to read too much into it, but how could you not, when he’s asking you to stay in this way? Does he feel as strongly about you as you do about him? You doubted it before, but now you’re starting to feel sure that he must see something there.

“Well, I like being here,” you say softly, offering him a shy smile as you lay down next to him, nestling your head into his chest as his arm wraps around your shoulder. You breathe him in for a moment and close your eyes, smiling to yourself as you feel him place a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispers, resting his head atop yours with a sigh as his other hand traces circles along your hand that lays on his chest.

“Goodnight, Daniel,” you answer, nuzzling your head on his chest once more before shutting your eyes and allowing your mind to wander off to sleep.

As you breathe in the comforting smell of his cologne, your mind goes over the events of the past few months. After the way he’s been acting lately, especially after tonight, you were sure of it: You’re in love with Daniel Wagner.

Your only concern is– is he in love with you? He explicitly outlined that you wouldn’t fall in love, so what now? The way he acts with you is the opposite of platonic, and the care he shows can’t just be general kindness. He must care for you, but the thought of scaring him away with strong words like “love” is the last thing that you want.

You love Daniel Wagner, and for now, you’ll love him in silence. For now.

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

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eddiexmunsonlover · 6 months ago

Text

One Step Away From You (Chapter 5)

BSF!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

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Chapter Summary: It's your 18th birthday and you celebrate by going to get a new piercing with Robin, and a small get together with your friends at Steve's house. This is just a mostly fluffy, light, and fun chapter after all the angst and heaviness of the previous ones. WC: 7.1K Warnings: MDNI. Explicit language. Underage drinking. Brief mentions of toxic parents, alcoholism.

Saturday, October 12th, 1985

“A-Are you sure you want me to go with you for this??” You can hear the panic in Robin’s voice over the phone, making you smile as you imagine her pacing around her bedroom with a white knuckle grip on the phone.

“Yes, Robbie. I want you to come with me.”

“But it won’t be like, weird? Given my… ya know”

“Robin, you know that doesn’t bother me. Besides, who else could I possibly ask? Not Steve or Eddie… for obvious reasons. Nancy and I aren’t close enough for me to ask her. You, however, are one of my closest friends.”

You hear her release a short exhale before she responds.

“Okay, as long as you don’t think having me there will be weird.”

“Oh my god Robin, it won’t be weird as long as you don’t make it weird!” You laugh out and smile when you hear a small laugh in return, breaking through her anxious energy.

“Okay, okay. I promise, no weird stuff.”

“Good, I’ll pick you up in 15!”

You roll over to your bedside table to hang up the phone, huffing before you get out of bed to get dressed. You throw on a pair of leggings and a baggy t-shirt. You glance in your mirror, deciding to keep your hair in a bun and go barefaced, knowing you’d have time to come back and get ready before your party at Steve’s later.

As soon as you walk out of your bedroom door, your mom flashes you a smile and comes to wrap you in a hug.

“Happy birthday, sweetie” she speaks softly through the embrace. “Finally 18!”

She pulls back and notices the purse on your shoulder and keys in hand. “Where are you heading?”

“I’m just going out with Robin for a bit, I’ll be back before my party at Steve’s later.”

“Alright, you wanna open your gift first before you go?”

You spot the gift bag on the coffee table and nod before beginning to pull out the stuffing paper, mind wondering what she could’ve gotten you.

Maybe a new pair of boots? Some new guitar strings? Some new cassettes or VHS tapes?

Your excitement falters when you spot the neon colored clothing. You force the smile to remain on your face, choosing to avoid an argument as you pull the neon green sweater out of the bag and hold it up. “Do you like it?!”

“Oh yeah, for sure!” You try your best to feign genuine excitement, unsure how effective it actually is.

“Promise you’ll actually wear it? Wouldn’t hurt to dress more like a girl…”

“Yes, mom. Thank you!” You answer quickly, flashing a smile her way before neatly folding the sweater and putting it back into the bag. That seems to satisfy her as she hums in agreement before turning to walk back to the kitchen.

As soon as the gift is back where you found it, you quickly leave the trailer. Groaning and rolling your eyes as soon as the front door shuts and you saunter down the steps to your truck.

Can’t even keep the nitpicking at bay for my birthday, let alone give me a gift I’d actually like.

Your mom’s not all bad. She does a lot for you and you know her heart is mostly in the right place, but her executions of showing care and concern for you often have the opposite effect, coming out critical and scrutinizing.

You shake off the interaction, not wanting it to hamper on the good day you plan to have as you back out your driveway to pick Robin up. Smiling as you look over to Eddie’s trailer before pulling out of Forest Hills.

It’s been almost 3 weeks since the night on the playground when Eddie forgave you, allowing your close friendship to resume. You had intended to take it slow at first, let you both take time to warm up to each other again, but after a few days it was almost as if nothing had happened. Like no time at all had passed, let alone almost 3 years. You can’t really say you’re surprised considering how close you and Eddie were before the move, but you hadn’t expected your friendship to go back to ‘normal’ so quickly. You and Eddie fell back into the comfortable rhythm of your friendship, your usual banter and inside jokes quickly resuming.

You’d even started joining the Hellfire table at lunch in the past week, though you haven’t accepted the invite to join the club just yet. You’d hung out a few times at his trailer too, listening to albums that’d come out in the time you’ve been gone and playing songs together on your guitars like you used to, only now you shared a joint while doing so.

You sigh in content as you drive down Hawkins backroads to Robin’s house. You’ve been happier in the past 3 weeks than you have in the past 3 years. Everything feels like it’s finally come together.

You eye the brick building in a stretch of businesses on the outskirts of Hawkins as you park the truck. Tattoos and Piercings displayed in big orange letters in the front window. A mixture of excitement and nervousness fills your stomach as you turn to Robin with a smile. Forcing back a laugh as you see her nervously biting her bottom lip as she warily eyes the shop.

“Come on, let’s go!” you encourage as you hop out of the truck. Robin shortly catches up to your quick strides as you cross the street.

“W-What if the piercer is like, a major creep? Maybe we should have done like a background check or something first…”

“Well what do you think I have you here for? I need a protector… for my hoo haa’s” you tease her playfully, a devilish smirk pulling at your lips as she looks at you wide-eyed. “Robin, everything will be fine. You don’t have to come back with me if you don’t want to.”

She shakes her head quickly, taking a deep breath as she faces the shop door.

“Nope, we’ve got this. I got your back, or well uh…” Her eyes briefly glance down to your chest before quickly looking back to the shop. “nevermind.”

She opens the tattoo shop door, letting you go in first. For a Saturday business is slow, only one other customer inside getting tattooed. You approach the front desk where a middle aged man with shaggy hair greets you. You tell him what piercing you want and give him your ID, quickly signing the waiver for piercing and aftercare information and handing over cash for payment. With all formalities settled, he leads you and Robin to a room in the back of the shop.

“Alright uh, just go ahead and remove your shirt and bra.” He states, turning his back to you as he gathers his needles and cleaning supplies. Once you’ve taken off your upper layers and wait for him to begin, you look next to you to see Robin’s back is also towards you, standing rigidly as she faces the wall. Eyeing the seemingly very interesting cracks and chips in the wall’s red paint. You snicker at the sight.

“Rob, you can look ya know. You promised you wouldn’t make it weird.”

“Right, right.” She says quickly as she turns around, eyes refusing to meet you or your exposed chest, deciding to now stare at the wall opposite of you. You shake your head at her as the piercer turns around and walks toward you.

“Alright, I’m gonna mark with a pen where I’ll pierce, then you can look in a mirror to make sure it looks alright.”

He does as said, marking both sides of both your nipples, ensuring they look even before backing away so you can check for yourself in the mirror. Satisfied at the placement, you nod at him before sitting on the laid back chair.

“Good, now go ahead and lay back and I’ll get started.”

“Have you uh-pierced many nipples before?” Robin asks with a high-pitched squeak as she watches him bring over his tray of supplies.

He gives her an exhausted look before answering, “This ain’t my first rodeo, hun.”

She purses her lips, nodding her head at his answer as she continues looking around the room at anywhere but you.

“Alright, I’m sure you can imagine this is gonna hurt a bit.”

“Uh, Robin?” you ask as you extend a hand out to her, “Gonna need some support here.”

“Oh, right!” She answers after a moment, quickly taking your hand as her eyes finally meet yours, refusing to stray further south as she mouths a ‘sorry!”.

“Take a deep breath aaaand exhale”

As you exhale, a sharp pain spreads through your left nipple. You yelp out something like a mixture of a loud moan and scream, quickly grabbing Robin’s hand tightly. Curiosity gets the best of her and she finally looks, eyes going wide and mouth falling open at the sight.

“First one done, best to do the second one right away while you still got the adrenaline kick.” He states as he maneuvers to the other side of you, forcing Robin to shimmy over to the side he just occupied.

“Give me another deep breath”

You squeeze both Robin’s hand and your eyes shut as you take another inhale and exhale, a duller pain spreading through your other nipple. After some more deep breaths, you’re greeted with the news that you’re all finished.

You sit up fully, wiping your eyes as you stand and walk over to the mirror. A big smile creeps onto your face as you look at your newly pierced nipples. You’ve never felt particularly confident about your breasts. They aren’t big but they aren’t little either. You never felt like they were anything special. Ever since you first saw an image of a woman with her nipples pierced in a tattoo magazine your older cousin had a year ago, the image and idea of doing the same to your own hasn’t left your mind since.

As you eye yourself and your chest in the mirror, the new addition to your nipples gives you the boost of confidence you hoped it would. You turn around to face Robin.

“What do you think? Do they look good?”

Her head moves like a bobble head, nodding and shaking in every direction as she stares at your chest before looking up to meet your eyes.

“Uh yup. They look great” She muses, putting extra emphasis on the ‘p’.

You carefully put your bra back on, taking extra caution not to hit or snag the new barbells adorning your breasts.

After a few minutes you and Robin are back in your truck and pulling onto the road. After making a quick stop for at the gas station for slushies, you head down the route to drop Robin back off at her house before Steve comes to grab her for help in setting up for your party.

Between sips of cherry slushies and singing along to Easy Lover by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey, Robin speaks up.

“You know, I think this whole ordeal has really added another layer to our friendship. Brought us closer, you know?” You smirk in response to her comment, and to the reaction you know your next words will elicit.

“Oh yeah, I mean now you’ve seen my tits and you now know what I sound like in bed.” you muse nonchalantly, failing to hold back the shit-eating grin plastered on your face.

“OH MY GOD” she groans loudly, covering her face with her hands as you cackle in satisfaction.

Eddie’s already waiting for you, leaning against your truck with a lit cigarette in hand as you shut your front door behind you.

“There’s the birthday girl!” he yells with a bright smile on his face. You roll your eyes but are unable to hide the blush on your cheeks and soft smile as you approach him.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart” he hums softly as he wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“Thanks, Eds” You return the embrace, never tiring of the feeling of his body against yours, long arms wrapping around your frame. You gladly ignore the soreness of your chest as it presses against his. You let yourself inhale his scent, the faint smell of apples from his shampoo, cigarettes, and musky cologne flood your senses. You sigh softly at the intoxicating smell and feeling of him against you before you break from the embrace.

“Ready to party?” He asks with a cheeky smile.

“Hell yeah, hop in” He jogs over to the passenger side as you turn the ignition.

Within 10 minutes, you’re pulling into Steve’s driveway, parking next to his car. Thankfully, it happens to be one of the many weekends that Steve’s parents are out of town, leaving the house to all of your friends to have a nice little get-together for your birthday. It’s nothing short of a miracle that you, Steve, and Robin managed to get a Saturday off together too. You can only imagine what they had to do to convince Keith to cover their shift.

“So this is Harrington’s humble abode huh?” Eddie mumbles with a hint of sarcasm as you begin walking up the driveway.

“Best behavior, Munson. Remember?” Eddie scoffs in response.

“I am always on my best behavior, thank you.”

“Who are you trying to fool?” you tease back playfully as you open the front door and let yourself in.

You look around the empty living room, eyeing some liters of soda sitting out on the kitchen counter. As Eddie looks around curiously, you notice shadows and hushed voices near the sliding glass door to the backyard. As you open the door, you’re immediately greeted with a chorus of shouts, “Happy birthday!”

You hate being the center of attention, but you can’t help but smile and laugh as you look at the smiling faces of your friends, Steve, Robin, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas all waiting to celebrate you. You step out onto the back porch with Eddie following behind.

“Thank you, guys. This is so sweet!” You gush as your eyes look around, catching the Happy Birthday banner and table filled with snacks and drinks. You go to greet your friends one by one starting with Steve who already has an arm outstretched for a hug. You gladly abide, giving him a hug as you thank him for hosting and the effort he’s put in, leading him to scoff lightly in response.

“Of course, Y/N. I’m glad to.”

You move to hug Robin, who hesitates for a second as she eyes your chest.

“I said don’t make it weird or obvious” you whisper through your teeth, staring at her wide eyed. She moves into action, quickly pulling you into a hug a little too eagerly to make up for her hesitation. “Don’t make it hurt either, goddamn.” you wince before you both laugh.

You move on to the younger boys whom Eddie has already joined and squeeze their shoulders lovingly.

“I’m glad you turds are here too.” you tease as you smile brightly, spurring groans and eye rolls from them.

“Okay, that’s offensive.” Mike states matter-of-factly before breaking out into a smile.

You wish Max would be here to celebrate with you all. You invited her, but when she heard of who all would be here, she quickly fumbled her way to an excuse, a commitment she made to her mom. You don’t hold it against her, but still, as you look among all your friends, her absence is noticeable.

After a little while of mingling and snacking, Steve suggests a game of soccer, corralling all the boys out into the backyard. You and Robin sit at the edge of the porch, watching as the boys run around the yard, snacking on chips, and listening to your mixtape playing on the stereo.

“So uh, how do they feel?” She asks quietly. You peek a look at her as you pop a chip in your mouth.

“They fuckin burn is how they feel.” you sigh, watching as Dustin begins to accuse Steve of playing dirty.

“Burn?! I-is that normal?” She nearly chokes on her chips, causing you to laugh as you shake your head.

“I don’t know, Rob. I’m sure it’s fine” you shrug as she looks lost in thought and you’re sure, anxiety.

“Hey Y/N! Why don’t you come join us!” Dustin shouts out to you.

“Yeah, you too Rob come on!” Steve adds as his chest heaves slightly, hands on his hips.

“No, absolutely not.” Robin states plainly.

“Eh, I don’t know”

“Oh come on, don’t be chickenshits!” Dustin exclaims, causing your eyebrows to raise as you give him an ‘oh really?’ look.

“I think I’m totally fine with being a chicken.” Robin states unphased, looking at you. You share a look with her before standing up.

“Hold my beer.” You say as you begin walking out to meet the boys in the yard.

“But you’re not even drinking a…” Robin begins as you walk away, completely lost, joke flying over her head and landing somewhere in the front yard.

You fall into a 3v3 game; Steve, Eddie and you vs. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, despite the latter's complaints of it being unfair. You’re not athletic and never considered yourself a fan of sports, but you find yourself having fun and laughing as you kick the soccer ball around and between each other. Not to mention you joined this game with a mission, make Dustin eat his words. Having Steve and Eddie on your team helps, their tall stature and long limbs aiding in bypassing the younger boys’ attempts to intercept the ball. When Steve kicks the ball toward you, you don’t hesitate. Kicking the ball as hard as you can, going airborne in Eddie’s direction for him to secure a goal. Only Mike’s big ass head gets in the way. You have to turn away to try to stifle your laughter when you see and hear the soccer ball audibly thunk! against the side of his head.

“Ow!” he exclaims dramatically, hand holding the side of his head. You bite back your laughter as you face him, the snickering laughter from everyone else doing little to help.

“I’m sorry, bud. You were in the way!”

“In the way?!!” he shrieks in response, leaving you to only shrug apologetically.

“Alright, walk it off. Don’t be dramatic. Here, we’ll even give you the ball!” Steve attempts to mediate, his offer seemingly settling Mike as the younger boys get back in formation. It does little to help though, as Steve shortly reclaims the ball for your team.

A moment later you’re all huddled close with the ball stuck being kicked around in the middle, waiting for someone to manage to kick it out. In a moment of an innocent mistake and careless obliviousness, Dustin accidently pushes back against you and elbows your chest as his attention and body follows the movement of the ball.

Your face scrunches in pain and your hand shoots out to grip the back of Dustin’s shirt. The rest of the boys go on unfazed, the distraction allowing an opening for Steve to kick the ball out of the circle. You take a deep breath before opening your eyes and meeting Dustin’s wide-eyed gaze, knowing he’s in deep shit.

“Oh, you better run.” You whisper with a sinister smile on your face. You loosen your grip enough to let Dustin pull away and get a head start as he sprints off before you set off after him. After Steve scores another goal for your team, everyone watches in amusement as you briefly chase Dustin around the yard. You may be a bigger girl and not the most athletic, but you can still run pretty damn fast when you want to.

“Who’s the chickenshit now?!” you yell out teasingly as you begin to gain distance on him, holding back your laughter as he screeches out “I’m sorry”s. When you’re close enough, you wrap your arms around his midsection, lifting and spinning him around in circles as he screams, before you put him down and give him a good noogie. After you both regain your breath, you wrap your arm around his shoulder and give it a light squeeze before you walk back to rejoin the group.

“Well I guess that’s a good point to end it on,” Steve begins as he laughs softly. “a 6 to 2 victory!”

“A proper victory for the birthday girl.” Eddie smiles at you. You give him a bashful curtsey in return, making him laugh before you all return to the porch to lay back and relax.

You and Eddie sit next to each other on one of Steve’s outdoor loveseat chairs, smirking as the younger boys bicker about the soccer game. Eddie lights up a joint, taking a hit before passing it to you. Extending his arm to rest behind your head.

“Listen, you little shits lost fair and square.” Eddie states with a self-satisfied smile.

“Yeah, well I’d wonder who’d win if the two oldest and tallest people here weren’t on the same team.” Lucas pushes.

“Yeah, a rematch of sorts” Dustin adds in agreement. Causing you to laugh as you exhale your hit.

“That’s about as much running as you’ll get out of me for the next month so, maybe next time fellas.” You state simply with a smile.

The conversation thankfully changes topic as you and Eddie continue sharing his joint. You let your head rest back gently against his arm as you relax from your physical exertion, letting the small touch ground and soothe you as you look around, watching your friends happily. Steve steps out of the house with a platter full of hamburger patties and hotdogs ready to be grilled. You smirk at the image of Steve standing at the smoking grill, in Dad at a cookout mode.

“Only thing missing is a ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron.” you quip toward Robin, whose eyes follow yours before breaking out into a giggle with you.

“Oh, I’m definitely getting him that for Christmas.” she hums in amusement.

Everyone is buzzing in conversation and light-hearted laughs with each other as music plays in the background. The beginning of a particular song catches your attention. Lucas’s eyes turn to meet yours at the exact moment yours turn to look at him as Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind, and Fire begins to play. Neither of you can resist the temptation, standing from your seats to sing and dance along together. Smiling and laughing as you break out into a half choreographed dance you’d done many times before.

In the years prior, you’d loved babysitting Lucas and Erica the most. Beyond Lucas’s well-mannered but playful attitude with you and the similar sass as you that Erica embodied, going through Mr and Mrs. Sinclair’s collection of funk and RnB records was one of your favorite things. That, and the 3 of you spending all afternoon coming up with your own dances to the songs, often mimicking moves you’d seen on Soul Train. Everyone is all smiles as Dustin decides to join, doing his own rendition of the robot dance as he slots in next to you two.

Eddie watches the scene from his seat. It’s honestly heartwarming for him to witness first-hand the relationship you have with the younger boys. How you handle their attitudes and join in on their antics. Watching as you take on the fun but sassy older sister role gives him hope he can have a similar close friendship with them too, given his own still new but growing friendship with the new members of the club.

At first, he tries not to let his eyes linger on you too much, not wanting his desire for you to be so obvious. But your body is calling out to him, pulling his eyes back to you as he watches your hips sway, the jiggle of your thick thighs, and with the way you shake your ass Eddie swears he’s going to die on the spot. He’s all of a sudden getting hot, and the already cooling temperatures from the quickly setting sun can’t be to blame. The slightest movement in his jeans sends him scurrying inside for a ‘bathroom break’ as he pleads to the gods there aren’t any more dance songs on the rest of your mixtape.

When the song ends and the boys sit down to take a breather, you venture over to Steve who is intently focused on the hot dogs and burgers sizzling on the grill. You take a sip from the can of Cola you carry before clearing your throat.

“So uh, how’s your wieners looking, Steve?” You hold back a laugh as you see the spatula he holds go still and his head slowly turns to look at you, giving you a ‘really?’ look as you stare at him with a coy grin. You hear a snicker from Dustin before he joins in.

“Hehe yeah, Steve. Are they nice and juicy?” he asks, sending the other boys into a giggling fit as Steve groans.

“Ah great, look at what you’ve started!” he says to you dramatically in a serious tone, but the slight upturn of the side of his mouth doesn’t fool you, breaking out into a full blown smile when you poke his side.

You stand there with him, teasing him with comments like “Oooh, nice flip there” every time he turns over a burger. Shimmying and singing I Can’t Go For That to each other when it starts to play, a tradition of sorts started during numerous car rides before.

When Eddie returns from the bathroom, he spots you and Steve at the grill, standing particularly close, singing to each other. He can’t deny the ping of jealousy he feels at the sight. Suspicions of what kind of friendship you and Steve have exactly continues to brew ever since he first saw you in the Hawkins parking lot with him. He decides it’s time for a drink, grabbing a can of beer from the 6 pack he brought out of the cooler and resuming his previous seat. He’s thankful when the boys pull him into a DnD conversation that keeps his eyes from lingering on you two.

When the burgers and hotdogs are done, everyone digs in. The early evening hour and soccer game working up everyone’s appetite. After the food is all settled and everyone involved in conversation, you feel a light nudge at your side from Eddie, who greets you with a smile.

“Drink for the birthday girl?” He asks, a cold unopened beer in hand pointed toward you. You hesitate for a second as you eye the can, never having drank alcohol before. Growing up with your Dad had been enough to keep you away from it.

“Come on, you’re in a safe place with friends.” Eddie gently probes.

“Yeah, you know the spare room’s open for you too, don’t have to worry about going anywhere.” Steve adds.

You notice that Steve and Robin are already sipping on their own beers and with one last look back at Eddie you decide to let your guard down. Nodding at him as you take the beer from his hands and open it.

“Hey, can I have one too?” Mike asks enthusiastically, “I mean what safer place to do it than here?”

“Nice try, Wheeler. I don’t think so.” Steve quickly answers before taking a sip from his own beer. You hear the boys’ groans in the background as you take your first sip, Eddie’s eyes watching you before your face turns and you stick out your tongue.

“Ugh, that tastes like shit!” You’re met with laughter by the 3 older teens, “How the hell do you drink this?”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”

“Well it certainly isn’t good.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got some rum and pineapple juice inside. I could make you a sweet drink?” Steve offers as he’s already rising from his seat to go inside.

“As long as it tastes better than this!”

And that it does. You hum in approval at the first sip, barely noticing the faint taste of alcohol over the sweet flavor of pineapple juice.

As the sun finally sets and a cool breeze flows through the air, the group moves out into the back yard where Steve has set up wood for a bonfire. Steve, ever the Dad of the group, comes prepared with supplies for s'mores. Insisting there had to be some kind of dessert considering you didn't want the traditional cake and candles, not wanting your friends to make too much fuss over you.

You bask in the warmth of the bright flames, aiding in the warmth already flowing through your body from the alcohol as you move on to your 2nd drink. That warmth grows as you look around at your friends circled around the campfire, smiles on their faces as they roast marshmallows that end up sticking to their lips, and Lucas dramatically telling his best rendition of a ghost story to the group.

What a perfect day. This is everything you could ask for for your birthday. Nothing extravagant. Just quality time with your favorite people in this world.

You let your eyes linger on Eddie as he watches and laughs along to Lucas’s story. Watching the flickering warm glow and shadows that the fire casts on his face. You admire the dimples in his cheeks and his plump, pink lips. His warm chocolate eyes as they look to meet yours, feeling your eyes on him. You blush and smile back at him, hoping the alcohol in your system and warmth from the fire are good enough cover for your red cheeks as you tune back into Lucas’s story.

After a while the younger boys opt for going inside to set up their blankets and pillows in the living room and watch tv before bed.

Now on your 3rd drink, you’re feeling what you assume people call ‘tipsy’ at this point.

“Goodnight, Dusty bun! Goodnight, Mikey! Goodnight, Lukie! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” You call out lovingly after them as they walk the short distance back to the house.

“Dusty bun, huh?” Eddie asks curiously with a cheeky smile.

Steve almost excitedly spurs into telling Eddie about Dustin’s girlfriend in Utah, and their favorite song from The Neverending Story. You smile as you watch them interact. You’d initially been worried about having the two together, once being on opposite ends of the social hierarchy at Hawkins High. But given Steve’s personal growth over the past few years, you knew it was a matter of time before Eddie warmed up to him and saw him for who he is now, not the “King Steve” he’d known before.

You fish out a cigarette from your pack and light it, sinking into your chair as you take the first inhale. Your eyes shoot open as you hear the opening bass line to one of your favorite songs, Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol.

“Oh my god I love this song!” you practically whine, standing up from your seat to dance along, eliciting a laugh from Steve.

“Uh yeah, we know. You only insisted on playing it every time we’d go for late night drives this summer.” He smirks as he takes another drink from his beer.

“Uh yeah, because it’s one of the best songs ever!” you insist as if it’s obvious before you move a step away from the fire, hips swaying with the beat. Drink in one hand, cigarette in the other.

“I will admit it has grown on me.” Robin adds looking at Steve before smiling as she watches you.

I’m all out of hope

One more bad break

Could bring a fall

You sing along as your body moves with the beat, putting your cigarette in your mouth to let your fingers play along to the bass line and guitar solo on your air guitar. You can really feel the alcohol now, the way your limbs feel both heavy and light at the same time as you move through the cool breeze, the giddy and sentimental energy flowing through you.

“Oh Robbie, come join me!” you plead, motioning her to you with your free hand. You’re lucky she’s just drunk enough to agree and join you in her best attempt at dancing along. Eddie and Steve watch with bright smiles, Eddie’s heart warming at the sight.

He didn’t think his feelings for you could deepen any more, but here you are once again proving him wrong. Watching you be so carefree and playful, the way you passionately sing along to every word, the sway of your hips. He can’t get enough.

It’s all gone too soon as the song ends, leaving you pouting before you pull Robin in for a hug. The alcohol also working to numb your nipples, you discover.

“I love you, Robbie. Thanks for coming with me today.” You mumble in her ear as you embrace her tightly.

“Anytime.” she whispers back, returning your embrace.

“I love all of you guys” you say as you turn back to face the two boys sitting by the fire, only slurring your words slightly. “This has been the best birthday ever.”

You give a lopsided smile as you walk to Steve’s side and wrap your arms around him.

“Thank you, Stevie. So so much.” you mutter into his side as he laughs softly, rubbing your arm.

“Anytime, hun.”

You stumble slightly, losing your footing as you pull away from his hug.

“I’m good, all good!” You slur as you steady, putting your arms up and giggling.

“Maybe it’s time we call it a night, the fire’s starting to die anyway.” Steve suggests as he sees how much the alcohol is hitting you. You groan and pout in response but ultimately agree when your body continues to sway as you stand in place, Steve asking Eddie if he can take you inside.

“It’s the first bedroom on the right up the stairs.”

“Come on, princess. Let’s get you to bed.” Eddie says softly as he wraps an arm around your waist to support you, fingers lightly digging into the soft flesh there. You smile, giggling to yourself at the pet name as you put your arm around his shoulder, letting him lead you into the house and up the stairs.

As soon as you catch sight of the bed you plop face down on it, sighing in pleasure as you nuzzle your face against the soft pillow, eliciting an airy laugh from Eddie. You turn on your side to peek at him.

“Who you laughing at?”

“You, silly. You gonna sleep with no covers on?” He asks, motioning to the comforter you’re laying on top of. You groan in annoyance before standing up, quickly flipping up the comforter and crawling underneath and settling back in. You watch as Eddie takes off his vest and jacket, laying them on the end of the bed before going back downstairs to get you a glass of water.

You sigh and find yourself staring at the wall as your body sinks into the bed. You think back over your good day spent with your friends, and finally having your first drink to celebrate your 18th birthday. You aren’t sure what triggers it, but your mood quickly takes a turn as you begin to hear inklings of your mom’s voice in your head. Warnings and cautions thrown at you over the years about drinking, about your Dad. Pressures to be responsible and not follow in your father’s footsteps.

You need to be careful. Alcoholism runs in the family, you know.

You don’t want to end up like him.

The thoughts weigh on you heavily, worry and guilt quickly overtaking your mind. You’re so consumed by it you don’t hear Eddie’s footsteps coming up the stairs, only taking in his presence when you see his jeans enter your vision as he stands in front of you, putting the glass of water down on the bedside table. At first he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep, until he looks down at your face and notices the look in your eyes as you stare off in the distance and the frown set on your lips. He quickly squats down to be face level with you, eyes searching your face as his hand reaches out for your shoulder.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You take a shaky inhale before you look at his worried face.

“W-We’re not gonna end up like our Dads are we?” you ask quietly, sadness seeping through your tone as you look deeply into his eyes.

He looks at you confused before it hits him.

“Hey hey. No.” he reassures you, softly rubbing his hand up and down your bicep. “Just because you let yourself have fun and drink a bit with your friends doesn’t mean you’re going to be like your Dad, okay?” He watches as your expression begins to soften, taking in his words. “And you tell that little voice in your head to fuck off alright?” You give him the exact reaction he wanted, breaking out into a smile and giggling at his words.

He always knows how to make you feel better. His reassurance and touch helps to calm your worries, but as you look into his eyes, guilt hits you again at your own words. Your insinuation that Eddie could end up like his father. You shake your head at the realization.

“That was a silly thing to say, I’m sorry.” Eddie watches you as one of your hands reaches out to his face. His breath hitching as he feels the pads of your fingers graze his cheek, moving strands of hair out of his face and tucking them behind his ear. “You could never be like him, Eds. You’re too good.”

Eddie stares into your eyes for a moment. Your words, your touch, the look in your eyes as you stare into his has a grip on his heart, squeezing it as he’s overcome with it all. He struggled to believe those same words when he told it to himself, but hearing them fall from your lips is different. Helps him to believe it’s true. That, and the way you always saw him, when all anyone else in town saw when they looked at him was Al Munson. Casting a shadow over him. A shadow you’re familiar with.

He smiles softly at you before looking down at the floor, taking a deep breath and gulping before he speaks.

“I know you uh- said no presents but I’ve got something for you.”

He looks up to meet your eyes again, taking in your curious look before he reaches his hands behind his neck and unclasps his necklace, holding it out to you. Your mouth falls open at the gesture, eyeing his red and black guitar pick necklace he’s worn for years that’s now resting in his hand, outstretched toward you. Your heart flutters at the sight.

“E-Eddie, your necklace?”

“I want you to have it, so you’ll always have a piece of me with you. Honestly should’ve given it to you a long time ago but, better late than never.” He offers you a shy smile.

You quickly sit up and wrap your arms around him as you try to stop your bottom lip from quivering at the sentimental gesture, the alcohol making it much harder to do so. There’s so much you want to say, so many thoughts running through your head but none of the words meet your lips. You’re left speechless as Eddie returns your embrace before he pulls back and stands up, putting the necklace around your neck and clasping it in place. You look down at the pick now resting against your chest, your thumb caressing it.

“Thank you, Eddie. It means alot to me.” you gush as you look up at him, mimicking the wide smile already on his face.

“No need to thank me, sweetheart. Looks better on you anyway.”

You roll your eyes at him before resting your head back on the pillow, fingers still lingering on the pick around your neck.

“Alright, I’ll let you get some rest.” He sighs before walking to the end of the bed. When he reaches for his vest and jacket, you speak up.

“Wait… why don’t you just stay in here with me tonight?” He stares at you for a moment, mouth hanging open slightly as he thinks of your proposition. “I mean, unless you want to sleep on the floor with the kids in the living room. Come on, it’ll be like old times.”

He caves in a little too quickly, giving you a nod and a soft smile as he moves his vest and jacket to a chair in the corner of the room. He turns off the bedroom light before walking over to the other side of the bed. You’re ashamed at the little wave of excitement that rushes over you when you hear the metal clink of him undoing his belt buckle, undressing down to his boxers before he climbs in under the covers next to you.

You settle into the bed facing each other, sighing in content as you get comfortable. Though you aren’t touching, you can already feel the warmth radiating from his body inches away. It isn’t long before you’re slipping under, dozing off into a deep sleep as one hand grips the guitar pick hanging from your new necklace.

Eddie’s fingers twitch at the close distance to you. Watching you through the faint moonlight shining through the window as you drift off to sleep. Though it’s not the first time you've fallen asleep next to each other, it’s the first time you’ve done it in years. The same thoughts and temptations he’d held at each sleepover before haven’t changed now.

He wants nothing more than to caress your bare skin and pull your body against his. Rest his head on top of yours and inhale the scent of your shampoo as his hand softly rubs your back, soothing you to sleep.

He lays there watching you, wondering if he’ll ever get the chance to do it. Wondering if he’ll ever have the guts to tell you how he feels and make you his. If you even want him like that. If you even see him as anything more than just your best friend.

He sighs before settling into his spot in the bed, deciding that being here with you like this is enough, for now.

#eddie munson fic #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plussize!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #bestfriend!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #one step away from you

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