#spoilers everywhere

[cloudsmachinations]

Aftermath

Fandom: BG3

Pairing: Astarion/Tav

Rating: M

Summary:

“My deepest, sincerest wish?” Astarion mused. He stretched out alongside Gem, moulding himself against their bare body. “Well, despite this lovely little Underdark enclave we’ve found, I do still yearn for the warmth of the sun.”

Gem hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps we should do something about that, then.”

Chapter 3 has been posted ����💖💖 come and get your endgame traumatised vampire twink 👌

[henqiguai]

Slow Damage Review (Spoilers!)

I’ve let Slow Damage continuously sear off layers of my brain in the span of 2 weeks and now I have to make all my thoughts on the game everyone’s problem (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Spoiler-Free Bare Essentials

Slow Damage is a BL visual novel developed by Nitro+CHiRAL, who are responsible for popular titles such as Dramatical Murder and Togainu no Chi. The year is 20-something-something. A massive recession in Japan has lead to the formation of the chaotic, yakuza-controlled city of Shinkoumi. You follow the protagonist Towa, an artist who gains inspiration by drawing out his muses’ deepest, darkest desires. As you proceed through the game, you dig deeper and deeper into the mysteries of Towa’s past and capture the hearts of his rogue gallery of men: an ossan, the “mom friend”, his problematic ex, and A Lawyer. 

If you haven’t played the game yet but are intrigued by anything I’ve just said, please play the game first because I don’t want to spoil you! Just make sure you heed the extensive list of trigger and content warnings because this game is not fucking around with the dark content and sensitive subjects it tackles. Otherwise, let’s get into it ヽ(　･∀･)ﾉ

!!Spoilers!!

Characters

Il

Towa is our main character. He’s an artist under the pseudonym “euphoria”, creating pieces after euphoric episodes in which he draws out his muses’ deepest desires. He usually has his muses enact their desires on him, so as you can imagine it’s often a painful and bloody process. 

Towa can also read people’s Smoke, which is a unique aura surrounding each person that fluctuates based on their emotions. Also if it was entirely up to him he would live exclusively off of alcohol and cigarettes. Thankfully he has Taku and Rei to keep their hot mess of a friend alive.

I absolutely adore Towa and he was hands down my favorite character in the whole game. I loved being in his head and understanding the unique way he views the world, the people around him, and his relationship with sex and violence. Towa doesn’t value his life highly, nor does he particularly want to die. He’s outwardly apathetic, although his friends know not to take it to heart most of the time. 

One line of dialogue that really stood out to me is in Taku’s route where he says something to the effect of “the way you go about sex is a form of punishment”. Towa enjoys masochistic sex, but he also uses sex and pain to feel dehumanized and to cope with his deep trauma. He isn’t used to being treated gently (nor does he initially want to be), which makes the scenes where he is being taken care of hit harder.

I will talk more about Towa as we get into each of the love interests.

Dr. Feel Good

Can you believe Rania gave us the Taku theme song over a decade ago.

Dr. Murase Takuma or Taku is an old man that was specifically designed to cater to ME, ossanlover69. He runs a clinic in Shinkoumi and keeps Towa gainfully employed despite the fact that Towa rarely shows up on time to work without him having to burst into his room banging pots and pans. Taku is one half of Team Keep Towa Breathing along with Rei, making sure his room is tidy and patching up his wounds after his intense euphoria sessions. Taku has been Towa’s doctor since he was young and has been taking care of him for years. Towa also uses Murase as his last name when he needs one. This is a fact that makes me want to walk right into the ocean.

In his route, you find out that Taku owes a significant debt to Toono, a high ranking member of the Takasato-gumi. Because of this, daddy is forced to make some bad drugs for Toono, which tears him up on the inside and causes Rei and Towa to be alarmed by his suspicious behavior. In the good end, Towa helps Taku decide not to finish making the drugs and Taku turns himself into the authorities. Towa becomes Taku’s malewife and picks up his convict hubby when he gets out of jail a year later. In the bad end, Taku goes full yandere and confines Towa in the bowels of his clinic. Bug hallucinations and (you guessed it) drugs are involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

I quite enjoyed Taku within his own route! I love the dynamic of confident!Towa and inexperienced with men!Taku. We know who’s calling the shots in this relationship (spoiler alert it’s not Taku). The dialogue during their good end nsfw scene is some of my favorites from the game. Towa isn’t someone who can say “I love you” easily. I don’t believe he says it to any of his love interests despite receiving confessions. However, Towa thinking that the moment he saw Taku get shot was the point stopped taking Taku for granted hits harder than an “I love you” for me. Also Towa’s embarrassment at Taku’s careful attention to him was extremely cute. The mortifying new experience of being loved and cherished. 

OK, now for the bad. The further you get into the game, the more this man’s name gets dragged through the fucking mud. We find out that Taku has been keeping information about Towa’s past from him in order to shield Towa from having to face the deeply traumatic experiences of his childhood. In Madarame’s route, Madarame uses this to create an irreparable rift between Towa and Taku. In Fujieda’s route, Taku is actively trying to keep Towa from learning more by refusing to share information and even attempting to burn evidence.  

This information does sour his good ending a little, as we know there are skeletons that will likely stay in the closet forever while they’re together. In Fujieda’s route where Towa is trying to learn about his past, Taku’s actions become a lot harder to swallow. However, I do think Fujieda is the key to Towa being able to confront his past and begin the healing process. Seeing how Towa reacted to learning about what Maya did to him, I’m not sure if Taku (or Rei or Madarame), even with all his love and concern, would have been enough to stop Towa from hurting himself. Therefore, was it the right call for Taku not to say anything in his own route? Is it better for Towa to move forward with his life without having to drag up painful memories, especially without the right kind of support? I don’t know!!

I have to move on now this is getting way too long. So many people say they love pathetic dilfs but when Taku is a pathetic 40 something year old hot mess forced to commit crimes and is a big liar suddenly I’m the only one stepping up to bat for him?! Unbelievable.

Gong Yoo Sakaki shows up asks you if you wanna play a game of ddakji Moneymatch wyd

Izumi Rei is Taku and Towa’s friend who works part-time at Taku’s clinic. He’s also a bartender at Towa’s favorite bar Roost, and enjoys participating in Deathmatch fights. He is the other half of Team Keep Towa Breathing, making sure Towa is fed and has like a sip of water occasionally. He has a kind and outgoing personality.

In his route, Rei learns that his shitty deadbeat father has left him a hefty gambling debt to pay off. Because of this, Rei has to participate in Moneymatch fights, which are high risk (the loser is killed), high reward ($$$$$). Towa spends his time in this route trying to help Rei with his debt, and also with Rei’s struggles with his gender identity. In the good end, Rei settles the debt, decides to embrace his identity as a man, and whisks Towa away to travel together. In the bad end, Rei continues to fight Moneymatch fights while keeping Towa confined in his room (are we sensing a pattern here). There is some body modification and eye stuff involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

I love Rei a lot! To be honest I like him more as a friend to Towa (and Taku), but I do think Rei’s route does a better job fleshing out Rei and Towa’s chemistry compared to Taku and Towa. Underneath layers of apathy, Towa displays little signs that he cares for Rei and pays close attention to him. For example, noticing that Rei bites his fingernails when he’s stressed, which tips him off that Rei is struggling with something. Rei is willing to lean into Towa’s desire for violence in a mutually agreed upon way. Like Rei enjoys the thrill of a fight and his wish was to fight Towa without holding back, which Towa likes (and it’s Rei in the heat of a fight which causes Towa to take notice of Rei in a non-platonic way for the first time). Also I loved confident power bottom!Towa with virgin!Rei. The “congrats on the sex” comment had me ROLLING. 

OK, now for the bad. I’m not sure I loved the way Rei’s gender dysphoria was handled, although I do think a sincere effort was made to tell Rei’s story. I thought the direction of his route would be for him to accept both his feminine and masculine sides, instead of only embracing his masculine side. Also in Fujieda’s route Rei mentions trying to reconnect with his shitty homophobic father which is just... no? why? Finally the haircut N+C decided Rei needed at the end should constitute as a jumpscare. Let him have long hair!!

Big Dick is Back in Town

Madarame Kei is Towa’s mysterious ex-fuckbuddy that used to be a part of the Takasato-gumi. He was thought to be dead after a traumatic fight that resulted in his “death” and the death of Towa’s half-brother/fellow yakuza member, and caused Towa to lose his eye. But now he and his magnum dong are back in town and ready to be your problematic fave. His route is unlocked after you finish Taku’s route, and the game teases you by repeatedly mentioning that a “ghost” has been beating the shit out of people in the Deathmatch areas. Hmm I wonder who it could possibly be?

In his route, we learn that Madarame has come back to destroy the Takasato-gumi. He’s also here for Towa. Instead of contacting him like a normal person, Madarame kidnaps Towa and chains him up in a dirty building (again, are we sensing a theme). After days of abuse, Madarame lets Towa go. But Towa soon realizes that his life is full of malaise, and only Madarame can give Towa what he really wants: the thrill of violence which makes him feel truly alive. And Madarame and him are very sexually compatible so there’s that. He then returns back to Madarame. In the good end, they take down the Takasato-gumi, cut ties with Taku and Rei forever, and go on fighting adventures together. In the bad end, Madarame becomes the new leader of Shinkoumi, with Towa as his loyal underling. Knife and bloodplay are involved. Fun.

My Thoughts:

As far as N+C bastard men go, I actually enjoyed this route a lot more than I expected! I think my feelings can be summarized as “it’s not personally for me, but I get it”.

Madarame represents a piece of Towa’s traumatic past. He isn’t here to help Towa heal from his traumatic experiences, rather, he simply wants to live with a version of Towa that still has fighting spirit in him. Madarame understands Towa’s physical needs in a way that Taku and Rei do not. By the end of the route, they’re able to establish a balance between violence and their definition of love. I think that after Towa returns to Madarame out of his own free will, their chemistry really shines, and I especially liked the scene where they were drinking sake together. Very spicy. 

Ok, now for the bad. Towa’s thought process in hating Madarame and hating himself for wanting Madarame makes a lot of sense. Towa deciding to return to the man who abused him after realizing he no longer fits into his old life as a result of Madarame’s actions/what Madarame wanted Towa to realize also makes a lot of sense. But. This game does such a good job at walking me through Towa’s thoughts as he’s being abused, it just hit too many raw nerves and made it hard for me to fully enjoy them as a couple (although like I said, they do find their own balance by the end of the route). Also I didn’t love that Towa completely severed ties with Taku and Rei before leaving with Madarame. After spending hours investing in this OT3 friendship and watching Towa achieve happy ends with both of them, it made me so :((((. Also... not the matching mullets.........

Despite all of this, any route that makes me chew on it as much as I did with Madarame is good, and I appreciated a change in dynamic compared to Taku and Rei.

Lawyer

Fujieda Ryo is a lawyer. He works for the Takasato-gumi. His route is unlockable after you have finished Taku, Rei, and Madarame’s routes, and the game teases his route by having him occasionally appear to do lawyerly tasks and duties. Titillating stuff.

In his route, someone has been sending Towa tokens of his past (pieces of a diary, a bunny toy, pictures of people and records of various injuries inflicted on Towa by them). Curious about his past for the first time in the game, Towa begins following the leads he is given. In doing so, he meets and begins to work with Fujieda, who is trying to find his “friend’s” little sister.

My Thoughts:

As someone who hates the idea of “true routes” (don’t tell me who the real love interest is I’ll be the judge of that), this game achieved the impossible by selling me entirely on Fujieda. Hands down this route is the best in terms of the plot and themes, and I far prefer Fujieda as a love interest for Towa above Taku, Rei, and Madarame.

When we’re first introduced to Fujieda, he appears to be stiff and serious. Towa comments on how Fujieda’s smoke is still and white, making him the first person Towa finds to be unreadable. Fujieda and Towa appear to be opposite in every respect, and it makes it hard for them to trust each other. But as you play along, you peel back layer after layer of Fujieda’s armor and learn how much Fujieda and Towa actually have in common.

It’s so interesting to me that when you play Madarame’s route, the idea that Madarame is the only one who can give Towa what he really needs comes up several times, but it’s actually Fujieda’s route that is titled “Equal”. Both Fujieda and Towa have suffered intense abuse by their parents. Fujieda hates the scars left on his body by his parents, but finds Towa’s scars a symbol of his bravery and resilience. Towa is fascinated by Fujieda’s scars and he’s the only one who he’s ever seen with a body like his. Towa sees his own scars as separate from his traumas as it’s his only way of maintaining his own autonomy after the horrific things that were done to him. Their conversation about their scars really highlights their understanding and acceptance of each other in a way no one else can.

Fujieda and Towa are also connected by Yuzuki Mei, who was Fujieda’s sister and Towa’s friend who was forced to “entertain customers” together with Towa by Maya (Towa’s abusive mother). After Towa learns this truth, he spirals out of control into probably his most self-destructive episode to date. The ensuing conversation with Fujieda who finds him and implores Towa to live on is so sad and so tender it made me cry. As I mentioned earlier in my discussion of Taku, Fujieda is the one person who can provide Towa with the support he needs to process his trauma. Their shared experiences, as well as Fujieda moving from distrust to begrudging partnership to pity to acceptance to finally wanting to actively support and care for Towa truly makes him the most balanced fit for Towa.

Switching gears to some less heavy thoughts, I just find Fujieda very cute like he presents himself as stiff and put together but he’s also a mess. The little detail of him being such a bad cook that even Towa could make a better meal is sooooo. Like Towa? I know this man has never touched a pot or pan in his life how could make better food than Fujieda? Fujieda must have been in the kitchen making this.  Also Fujieda being needlessly formal or roundabout when it comes to emotional things... like they’re having a heartfelt conversation and then he abruptly switches gears by stiffly asking for a sex performance review I died. Towa teasing him by saying it was bad and then Fujieda just goes ok I’ll make adjustments in the future like shut up read the room !! Oh and the end scene with them at the sea and Towa smiles so brightly T______T ;; The ultimate catharsis!!

OK, now for the bad. The only thing I disliked was the noncon scene. It was so incredibly baffling that Fujieda somehow didn’t realize that Towa was a victim along with his sister and not a perpetrator just because he was Maya’s son. In fact it was so ????? to me that at first I couldn’t figure out why Fujieda was even mad at Towa.

Others

Literally added this section just to say I am screaming at how my opinion on Sakaki went from “he’s in the yakuza and he does bad yakuza things but it seems like he genuinely cares for Towa” to “....... stairs? deserved”

Gameplay 

The gameplay is very different from Nitro+CHiRAL’s past works, and I quite enjoyed it! Instead of simply choosing dialogue options to advance the story in certain directions, you get a more active role by participating in Exploration and Interrogation segments. During Exploration, Towa goes to various places in Shinkoumi and interacts with different people in his life. Certain dialogue choices will lead to Inspiration, which can be used later in Interrogation. Basically, Interrogation is a therapy simulator where you choose positive or negative responses and use Inspiration and clues obtained during the route to draw out your target’s dark desires or true intentions. Your choices will eventually lead to euphoria (usually good ends) or madness (usually bad ends or to rile up the target enough to get them to talk).

If this sounds like a lot, you’re right. Nitro+CHiRAL said you better work if you want to see some dick. But honestly once I got a hang of it, I enjoyed doing the Interrogations and didn’t run into any significant difficulties achieving the euphoria and madness ends (except in Madarame’s final interrogation which took me way longer than I would like to admit like the absolute carnage left in my quick saves after I was done with this mf). I also think the Explorations helped flesh out the world as well as a lot of the side characters.

The only other gripe was that I didn’t realize you had to achieve the madness end with the vampire to get onto Fujieda’s route and I was replaying the common route for far too long before I had to cheat and find a guide, but this is probably me being a dumbass more than anything.

Art

This game is visually stunning! The colors, the few animations of Towa’s nightmares, and the attention to detail (e.g., screen glitches when someone says 大丈夫, adding cuts to the sprites when characters were injured etc.) all added to the experience. I think my favorite visuals come from the euphoric end of Ikuina’s Interrogation. The mixture of blood and flower petals and Towa’s expressions makes it beautiful and macabre. Also the food. Rei’s route made me so fucking hungry like @/myself it’s just honey toast please calm down.

I also found it kind of funny that Towa and the main four love interests have pretty down-to-earth designs while side characters like Mayu, Kotarou, and Eiji have such bold looks they look like they rolled in from a completely different game. Taku rocking up to the clinic all grizzled in his scrubs while Kotarou is shaking down debtors in his tight low hanging leather pants with his titties out. love that for them.

Music

Honestly when has a N+C game not delivered in the music department? My favorite tracks are the OP il by Anna Evans golden folks, HEAD CASE TATTOO by Goatbed (Rei’s bad end track), and Pearl Tower by Anna Evans golden folks (Fujieda’s bad end track). I also liked the bgm track Aruhi (and the fact that it’s a combination of the tracks Kouhuku and Maya). Finally, obsessed with the jaunty little tune that plays in early ends. The most cheerful “bye, loser!” I’ve ever experienced. 

My own personal and very subjective gripe is that there are no songs sung by Itou Kanako. She’s done pretty much all my favorites from past games like Tears and Immer Sie (DMMD), Stay (TnC), and Miracles May (SP). 

Voice Acting

Wanted a little section for some Hiiragi Santa (Mr. Ono Yuki...) lovemail. It takes a lot of talent to be able to convey a such wide range of emotions with Towa’s relatively taciturn dialogue. Also he perfectly captures Towa’s voice when he’s trying to seduce someone as well as his dry humor, which adds a lot of charm to Towa.

Rapid Fire Ranking

Ok so I finally have run out of things to say about this game (for now) so I wanted to drop some quick rankings of the routes as well as a comparison to other N+C games I’ve played (note: I have not played the medieval catboy game. I should).

Ranking the route plots/themes

Fujieda >>>> Madarame > Taku > Rei

Ranking the love interests based on how much I want Towa to be in a romantic relationship with them

Fujieda >>>> Taku > Rei > Madarame

Ranking N+C games by their plot/themes

Slow Damage > Sweet Pool > Togainu no Chi > Dramatical Murder

Ranking N+C protagonists

Towa > Akira > Aoba > Youji

Ranking N+C games by how much I enjoyed the love interests as a whole

Dramatical Murder (I’ll ship anyone with Aoba) > Slow Damage (Fujieda hard carrying) > Togainu no Chi (Rin my beloved)  > Sweet Pool (Tetsuo...)

Ranking N+C games by how hard I cried

Togainu no Chi (cried at the end of every route and every time I heard Still.mp3) > Sweet Pool (cried all through Tetsuo’s endings) > Slow Damage (one big cry during Fujieda’s route) > Dramatical Murder (one respectable grocery store vegetable aisle mist in the eyes at the end of Clear’s good end)

And that’s it !! Please scream with me about slow damage on twitter I live there

[lerry-hazel]

Argh

Apparently, it's time to start avoiding the "for you" page. Again.

Seriously, people, is it so hard to type two words: "SPOILER ALERT"???

[rangerdew]

This site has become unusable ever since i started reading tlt

[sunflowervol69]

finally finished the white lotus finale. not that anyone cares

[hinamie]

matching eye horror for u and ur back-from-the-dead bestie <333

[thelilylav]

Aziraphale is the most character ever. He ran out of ideas so he declared war on hell. He canonically says fuck. His favourite colour is yellow. He’s literally an angel and can speak every language on earth but still isn’t fluent in french. He told his boyfriend to shoot him for his magic act and made him go through with it when their miracles weren’t working. He gave away his flaming sword and then lied about it for the next 6000 years. He has a bookshop that never sells books. No one’s doing it like him.

[saragrosie]

Sketching while streaming s5...

Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)

Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:

(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)

[stopiwanttotalkaboutcheese]

genuinely cannot believe that the two best multiverse movies of the year both had the main villain’s motivation be a BAGEL

[expelliarmus]

[girldadbuckley]

[kiwiandmint]

Maybe there is a universe out there where we could’ve lived peacefully together.

Everything Everywhere All At Once x ORV

[im-tired-101]

something something seawatt making himself forever remembered in parkour civilization through false memories to make sure he doesn't end up forgetten like his home level something something seawatt and chain imagery

[lerry-hazel]

Had to unfollow "Ghosts" tag for now: spoilers, people!!!

[herpderpingest]

I love that everyone is all over the Barbie movie with love and I want to see it but also I think I don't actually like going to movies theaters and I just want to watch it at home.