#spoilers below the break
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QUEEN OF TEARS DRAMA OF THE YEAR 🗣️🗣️🗣️
spoilers bc i need to put my thoughts somewhere and like no one cares anyways lol
anyways in all fairness, the drama was not perfect by any means but it was definitely up there for me. like there were just some plot lines that were so emphasized but never truly explored like the miscarriage, which imo was brought up way too little bc that was the main reason they fell apart in the first place.
seriously though the one thing i wish they did though was show more of the leads’ future in the end of ep 16. i was lowk shocked that they just did a little montage and they’re old and dead 😭
but the cast of the show 😮💨 the leads were casted so well and their chemistry together was on another level. the sad moments were even sadder because they conveyed their emotions so well (lowk tearing up at some points) and the happier moments were actually too happy like i could not stop smiling 😭
if it was a little longer with more eps i feel like it could’ve felt less rushed nearing the end but idk the drama was still really good
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the spear of longinus
#arcane#art tag#arcane season 2#…#arcane spoilers#KINDA#not really…. i didnt say nothing what if i just went for the vibes#okay spoilery talk below#ohhh vi my sweet butch… u did not deserve this#sa sobrang lala ng lesbian situationship mo yung isa naging leader ng martial law#OHHH THEY R SO SILLY THEY MAKE MY HEART CRACK AND BREAK AND OUUU#i hope caitlyn is begging sceeaming crying on her knees in act 3 if they dont make up this way i will be PISSED#league of legends#lol#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#vi lol#caitlyn lol#caitvi#violyn#piltovers finest#piltovers gayest#arcane s2
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death is not the end
When storm clouds gather around and heavy rains descend Just remember that death is not the end ⸺ ♫
As Gulool Ja Ja lay dying, his flesh withering, his milky eyes shift their focus to find the champion ⸺ his champion, his Yein of Iron ⸺ knelt in the corner of his vision.
"I see... a sparrow," he rumbles weakly, the corners of his mouth raising half an ilm in a valiant effort to smile. He can hear his children's weeping still, despite his efforts to assuage their sorrow.
Yein returns his smile, as he knew they would. Bare palms normally protected by leather and metal touch his lips, brushing over skin and teeth. It touches him in a way he had come to love.
"We might be too large in size," he muses, "to become one of your little birds..."
A wet sound leaves Yein's scarred lips, letting the dying sovereign glimpse their pointed teeth.
"Maybe you will return as a very large bird," they offer, "with two heads." Despite their forced mirth, their fingers are trembling as they caress him.
"Perhaps," Gulool Ja Ja heaves in agreement. He attempts to see them more clearly, hoping to commit their shape to his final memory. A quivering smile shifts his wrinkled lips against their touch.
"I cannot wait... to introduce you to him. My brother..."
"Me too, dawnlight," the elezen says. As Gulool Ja Ja's eyes drift shut, they mirror his expression and curl forward to press their scarred cheek against the skin between his eyes.
Nearby, Wuk Lamat is screaming one last time for her papa.
For the tree of life is growing where the spirit never dies ⸺ ♫
#cw: death#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#gposers#elezen#duskwight#gulool ja ja#gulool ja ja x yein#wol x gulool ja ja#dawntrail#dawntrail spoilers#MSQ stuff below the break...#this vacation isn't going to plan#ffxiv rp#ffxiv writing
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 49🚨
He had just been crowned the khagan's Heir. With Nesryn as his potential bride. Potential, to Aelin's amusement, because Nesryn herself wasn't so keen on being empress of the mightiest empire in the world.
But what Sartaq had said— Elide blurted, "You mean to not go to Terrasen?" Aelin kept still, her fingers curling at her sides.
"Terrasen needs aid," Rowan said, his face the portrait of steely calm as he surveyed their new allies and old friends.
"And yet Terrasen has not called for it," Hasar countered, utterly unfazed by the wall of Fae warriors glowering at her. Exactly the sort of person Aelin had hoped she'd be when she wrote to her all those months ago.
Chaol cleared his throat. Gods above, Chaol was walking again. And married to Yrene Towers, who had healed him.
A thread in a tapestry. That's what it had felt like the night she'd left the gold for Yrene in Innish. Like pulling a thread in a tapestry, and seeing just how far and wide it went.
All the way to the southern continent, it seemed. And it had rippled back with an army and a healed, happy friend. Or as happy as any of them might be at the moment.
Aelin glanced sidelong to Rowan. Found him already staring at her. We'll convince them to go to Terrasen, her mate said silently.
"It's back," he panted, gaping at Nesryn. "For days now, I swore I felt something, noted changes, but today it just all came back."
Nesyn angled her head, her curtain of dark hair sliding over an armored shoulder. "Who…"
Borte squeezed the young man's arm. "Falkan. It's Falkan, Nesryn." Prince Sartaq stalked to Nesryn's side, graceful as any Fae warrior. "How." But the young man had turned toward Aelin, eyes narrowing. As if trying to place her.
Then he said, "The assassin from the market in Xandria."
Aelin arched a brow. "Hopefully, the horse I stole didn't belong to you." A cough from Fenrys. Aelin threw the warrior a grin over her shoulder.
"I was always young," Falkan muttered. "I just didn't look it." His gray eyes again found Aelin's. "I gave you a piece of Spidersilk."
For a heartbeat, the then and the now blended and wobbled. "The merchant," Aelin murmured. She'd last seen him in the Red Desert-looking twenty years older. "You sold your youth to a stygian spider."
"You two know each other?" Nesryn gaped.
"The threads of fate weave together in strange ways," Falkan said, then smiled at Aelin. "I never got your name."
Hasar chuckled from the other side of the desk. "You already know it, shifter."
Before Falkan could figure it out, Fenrys stepped forward. "Shifter?"
But Nesryn said, "And Lysandra's uncle." Aelin slumped into the chair beside Chaol's.
Rowan laid a hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up, she found him near laughter.
"What's so funny, exactly?" she hissed.
Rowan smirked. "That for once, you are the one who gets knocked on your ass by a surprise."
Aelin stuck out her tongue. Borte grinned, and Aelin winked at the girl.
But Falkan said to Aelin and her companions, "You know my niece."
"Lysandra is my friend, and Lady of Caraverre," Aelin said. "She is not with us," she added upon Falkan's hopeful glance toward the tent flaps. "She's in the North."
Not their considerable beauty, but their size, their pointed ears, their weapons and elongated canines. Aelin whispered conspiratorially to the girl, "Make them roll over before you offer them a treat."
Lorcan glared, but Fenrys shifted in a flash, the enormous white wolf filling the space.
Hasar swore, Sartag backing away a step, but Borte beamed. "You are all truly Fae, then." Gavriel, ever the gallant knight, sketched a bow. Lorcan, the bastard, just crossed his arms.
Yet Rowan smiled at Borte. "Indeed we are."
Borte whirled to Aelin. "Then you are Aelin Galathynius. You look just how Nesryn said." Aelin grinned at Nesryn, the woman leaning against Sartaq's side. "I hope you only said horrible things about me."
"Only the worst," Nesryn said with dead flatness, though her mouth twitched.
But Falkan whispered, "The queen," and fell to his knees.
Hasar laughed. "He never showed that sort of awe when he met us."
Sartaq lifted his brows. "You told him to turn into a rat and scuttle away."
Aelin hoisted up Falkan by the shoulder. "I can't have my friend's uncle kneeling on the ground, can I?"
"You said you were an assassin." Falkan's eyes were so wide the whites around them gleamed. "You stole horses from the Lord of Xandria—"
"Yes, yes," Aelin said, waving a hand. "It's a long story, and we're in the middle of a war council, so..."
"Piss off?" Falkan finished
Aelin laughed, but glanced to Nesryn and Sartaq. The former jerked her chin to Falkan. "He's become our spy of sorts. He joins us in these meetings." Aelin nodded, then winked at the shifter. "I suppose you didn't need me to slay that stygian spider after all."
But Falkan tensed, his attention going to Nesryn and Sartaq, to Borte, still gawking at the Fae males. "Do they know?"
Aelin had a feeling she'd need to sit down again. Chaol indeed patted the chair beside him, earning a chuckle from Yrene. Doing herself a favor, Aelin indeed sat, Rowan taking up his place behind her, both of his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. His thumb ran along the nape of her neck, then drifted over the mating marks again scarring one side thanks to the seawater they'd used to seal them. But as her muscles soothed beneath that loving touch, her soul with it, her breath remained tight.
It didn't get any better when Nesryn said, "The stygian spiders are Valg."
Silence.
"We encountered their kin, the kharankui, deep in the Dagul Fells. They came into this world through a temporary crack between realms, and remained afterward to guard the entrance, should it ever reappear."
"This cannot end well," Fenrys muttered. Elide hummed her agreement.
"They feed on dreams and years and life," Falkan said, a hand on his own chest. "As my friends have said the Valg do."
Aelin had seen Valg princes drain a human of every last drop of youth and vigor and leave only a dried corpse behind. She wouldn't put it past the spiders to have a similar gift.
"What does this mean for the war?" Rowan asked, his thumbs still stroking Aelin's neck.
"Will they join Erawan's forces is the better question," Lorcan challenged with a face like stone.
"They do not answer to Erawan," Nesryn said quietly, and Aelin knew. Knew from the look Chaol gave her, the sympathy and fear, knew in her bones before Nesryn even finished.
"The stygian spiders, the kharankui, answer to their Valg queen. The only Valg queen. To Maeve."
#Chapter 49#Sarah J. Maas#Kingdom of Ash#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Gavriel#Fenrys Moonbeam#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Falkan#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more spoilers in post and tag notes below#the way they always call him the prince with her#The time catching up-How we got here-New allies&old friends-who put the strings?-a thread in the tapestry-She’d pay it#She knows-he knows-you already know it what she is;the darkness;the spiders-she can save them-The word will break-You got#knocked on your ass by a surprise for once-The North Explanation-Gavriel ever gallant-these nicknames-lorcan the bastard#Lorcy or miserable-Her soul was tight-spiders are valg-Where is ur army?he’d be happy for any spark of flame-which do u want?#Grave calculating but not cold-cold descriptors&differences esp princes-POTENTIAL-thank you elide-CALL4AID_EON#She’d make an empress to impress-nodding once in understanding at the fire she knew smoldered in her eyes-there it is-u want it on ur side#She got the smoldering-Aelin held the princess's stareSmiled slightly&said nothing-are seige towers the same?-silver lake-oh shit that bomb#Still aching-needs to know-land of darkness & cold-they do know-inclined to agree-BORTE&THEM-FALKAN HE KNOWS HER&#-SHE KNOWS&HES NORMAL????-their queen-the dynamics-THE SILK😭-shifter-2&2-she’s surprised for once-she knew what she stole#Fenrys shifter trauma-the Borte wink-always a queen in league-the breaking words-glad ur sitting-they don’t know-silence-shit-bomb#His place by her-fear of Maeve info or her?-hearing it-No Fire-his thumbs still stroking-Aelin's neck-the ONLY-the name
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Just finished s1 of Link Click
I'm at my limit besties.
I want to both strangle and hug the main trio.
Sweet, sweet stupid lil dumbasses /aff
#link click#cheng xiaoshi#lu guang#qiao ling#anime recs#donghua recs#spoilers below#OMFG#I knew lu guang was gonna get stabbed cuz i got spoiled#but HOLY SHIT#that's not how i expected it to go down#and poor cheng xiaoshi man#homeboy's been having a mental breakdown since like ep4 or 5#maybe im just misremembering in my post season haze#maybe i'm just no longer blinded by xiaoshi's protag halo#but i love how lu guang nvr rly got truly mad when xiaoshi fucked up the timeline#he was just like I'll help u fix it#iirc he rly only got pissed when xiaoshi dove by himself bc he could've died#i am now switching sides i love lu guang#i want to watch him break<3#Day 23 of hiding from my friends#*gasp* a double post???#ik#i am unwell about them
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OOOH A PROMISED NEVERLAND AU WOULD ABSOLUTELY BE SO COOL
Who would play which role?
Who would play the Mother? I mean probably Dream but he ain’t very motherly.
Instead Demons what if it’s Minecraft mobs in general like Zombies, Blazes, Skeletons, etc
OKAY Tommy is Emma (obviously) Tubbo is Norman (because clingyduo getting separated hurts too much to NOT include) and Ranboo is Ray (especially for the traitor bit and working alongside Dream n stuff)
OH YEA Dream would be Isabella!!! His whole ‘one big happy family’ shtick works really well in this context
And I’m thinking Jack and Niki takes Don and Gilda’s place… maybe baby Michael takes Phil’s place… (the little one’s name is Phil right? I think??)
ALSO the demons being mc monsters is a neat idea!!! I’m a little lost when it comes to world building though so I don’t have much to add. I just like sticking my blorbos in situations
#idk who would be Conny… yknow the whole inciting incident#rozu asks#anonymous#SPOILERS BELOW if you haven’t seen the anime and wanna go watch it#gosh. the leg breaking scene but with TOMMY ANS DREAM has been HAUNTING me man#and the scene where Norman gets a glass of water oh so painfully slow before collapsing at the sink because it finally hits him that he’s#-gonna DIE. NOW IMAGINE TUBBO INNTHAT SPOT#OOOHGGGFFFGG#ohg and the fire scene.. but with Tommy and Ranboo… ouhgff#I was buzzing all night over this u guys have no idea#I got like two hours of restless sleep#idk if I have time to draw today… maybe if I’m fast#tpn au
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I just keep thinking about how Tails is going his own way after Frontiers without Sonic... Sonic saying "I guess you grew up on me a little faster than I elected", "It's going to take a little getting used to...", "Tails... it's weird without you following me."
Then Amy and Knuckles even going their own ways...
DO YOU THINK SONIC IS GOING TO FEEL SO LONELY?? LIKE HE'S WANDERED OFF TO ON HIS OWN HIMSELF BEFORE BUT THAT WAS WHEN HE COULD ALWAYS GO AND BE WITH HIS FRIENDS WHEN HE WANTED!! THIS TIME THEY'RE GOING TO BE GONE, AND OBV HE'S CHEERING THEM ON AND HAPPY FOR THEM- BUT BUT BUT-
#sonic frontiers spoilers#sonic frontiers#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#Very very very random ramble but I'm having feelings of thinking about Sonic probably feeling longest after Frontiers :(((#Everyone is going their own way to grow and all that but Sonic is going to be alone :(((((#I blame the Sonic Movie for these feelings#His lonely and abandonment issues there be carrying over to the game verse in my brain#Do you think he'd try pestering any of his other friends at least???#Try to do things with somebody-#Imagine him starting to annoy Shadow on a daily basis until he snaps and asks Sonic why is isnt bothering Tails#Or anybody else but him#Then Sonic has to hold back ffom breaking down because GAIAS BELOW HE MISSES THEM-#And Shadow is left just so ????????#It's 4 am
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(THE BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS!!)
Thinking about Bill’s appearance at the end of the book…
[ID: BIll when confronting the Axolotl. He is shown in white silhouette, hovering in space, hovering neutrally. Notably, he has a massive crack running through his body, splitting him into multiple pieces, some of which are coming apart. /end ID]
When confronting the Axolotl, Bill is broken. The Axolotl even notes this: "Shattered, broken, not yet dead."
(Which, side note, makes me think Bill might have been lying about having been "kicked out of Hell," if he didn't actually die in Stan's head.)
[ID: Three pictures of Bill in the Theraprism. The first one shows him holding his hand against the side of his head in a dazed expression, sitting in a chair in a white padded room between a wizard with a clock for a face and Saturn (taken directly from the painting Saturn Devouring His Son). The second is a camera recording of him wearing an orange jumpsuit and kneeling in a cell, surrounded by arts and crafts tools, holding a pair of scissors, and beaming his thoughts frantically into a book. The third shows a mugshot of him staring blankly into the camera, his own name written on coded text below him. In all three images, he has a glowing scar where the cracks were, and is in one piece. /end ID]
When he's shown in the Theraprism, we see a glowing, static-y scar where the cracks were. The scar crosses his entire body (and even crosses to the other side of his eye without affecting it!), but he's actually whole, keeping himself together.
But then...
[ID: Two pictures of Bill from the last pages of the book. In the first one he is facing forward and holding up one finger, his eye reddened, his entire form glitching, and his crack is notably worse than prior, cracking through his eye, multiple smaller pieces drifting away. In the second one he is staring blankly at the viewer, his arms hanging limply, his eye wide and blank, the crack worse than the previous image, with more pieces floating away. /end ID]
In the last few pages, we see the scar is gone and the cracks are back, and even more of him is breaking away, including parts of his eye. It's especially bad in the last image, with even more pieces of him breaking away.
Also noteworthy is that the static texture behind him seems to be the same as the blood sample the US government took from him in the 1940s. He's bleeding.
We know from context that these images are meant to be taken somewhat chronologically. After dying (or nearly dying), Bill seeks out the Axolotl, who sends him to the Theraprism. While there, he writes the journal that he's beaming to us. The staff at the Theraprism catch onto this, and allow him to write out the last few pages, meaning those last few pages are chronologically the last of Bill we see.
This means that, after the events of the show, Bill was shattered... and then, upon entering the Theraprism, started to heal, his body coming together and scars forming... but at some point afterward, he started breaking apart again.
I'd made a post previously about Bill's development, how he views himself as a monster after the Euclidian Disaster, and how he continues to act monstrous afterward (and winds up agonizingly lonely as a result). I didn't really touch on this in the post, but I feel like after inadvertently destroying his home dimension...
Bill never left the denial phase of grief.
I could be wrong on this, but I get the feeling that part of his reason for acting monstrous toward just about everybody is because he sees himself as a monster, because "this is just how I am" is easier to accept than "I really really screwed up."
Bringing this back to his shattering... It's interesting to me that after entering the Theraprism, his body is scarring, which means it is healing. But then, at the end, as he's signing off the book, he's shattered again, and looking even worse than he did when talking to the Axolotl. When talking this over with a friend, they pointed out something that struck me:
Bill does not want to heal.
Healing means having to actually think through what happened. It means having to confront his past, confront destroying his home dimension, confront the harm he caused to others, confront the fact that he did not have to be this way.
And he refuses to do that.
He refuses to heal.
#bill cipher#gravity falls#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#i want to gnaw on things after writing this analysis
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THE BOOK OF BILL: decoded message masterpost
now it's officially released, here's nearly all the codes in order. cataloguing these all in the same place for my convenience, i recommend solving these for yourself first. major spoilers for the entire book below the cut, obviously. continue reading at your own risk.
final warning broski. 3, 2, 1....
.
.
.
there are a bunch of new codes introduced, of which i'll name the first time they appear. starting off with the spine's inside cover:
i'm naming this one axolotl: EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES
cipher's code on the bottom: REMEMBER US
runes [small vertical]: OLAF WAS HERE
angel: PRAISE THE FALLEN ANGLE
inside of the paperback (not pictured) just says BLACK & WHITE.
LET HIM IN AND BREAK THE SEAL BETWEEN WHATS FICTION AND REAL
GLUTTOSLOTHENY
MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING
PAPER IS BOOK SKIN
LIES / BOOBERRY
left: LONE SURVIVOR OF THE EUCLIDEAN MASSACRE
upper right: TANTRUM
WHICH HENCHMANIAC RATTED ME OUT? (dramaa)
TITANS BLOOD (owl house ref?)
SUCK IT MERLIN
lobster lord's name is DARYLL
CURSE WITTEBANE (definitely owl house ref!)
COUNTRIES ARENT (wut)
author's code upper left: SIX FINGERED FREAK
bottom: STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH (and he did!)
IF LOST RETURN TO BILL (bro got microchipped)
cipher: FORGET THE PAST
author: HOPEFULLY FS GLOVES WILL HIDE WHAT CIPHER HAS DONE TO MY HANDS...
bro's secret code: HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?
cipher's code: I CAN WRITE CODES TOO IT'S NOT THAT HARD!
patients from left to right:
SPHEREMONGER / ETERNALOR / BILL CIPHER / THE LOGIC CUBE / PAINGORIOUS / JESSICA / SHADORG / MR SILLY / THE BEAST
the silly straws chapter is missing, i might add that later. i tried to collect all of them but there may be a few i missed.
#tbob spoilers#the book of bill spoilers#tbob#the book of bill#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#gravity falls spoilers#stanford pines#gravity falls fandom#gf
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Everything I've Ever Written (on Tumblr)
I have been writing online since 2016. As a result, I have quite the few short stories listed below! They're all from different parts in my writing journey and I hope you enjoy.
If you'd like to read what I currently put out, please consider supporting me on Patreon (X)
Cinderella Doesn't Believe in Fairy Tales
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
Part 4 / Part 5 /Part 6
Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9
Destiny Universe
You Are the Demon King
The Hero and Hope (part 1) (part 2)
Being Villagers
Heroes and Villains
Therapist for Villains
Juniper and Discus
Self Destruct Villain (flash fiction)
Dandelion (A Villain Story)
You Help Kill Heroes
You are the Shark Hero
Mist into a Tempest
The Civilian and the Reluctant Hero
No Heroes Here
The Spoiler (humor, flash fiction)
You are Legacy
Hero in Title
Dark Lord's Former Coworker
One Minute
The Fae:
You Become Powerful
Your Friend Takes Your Name
Larkin and Yvette
Debt Must Be Repaid (humor flash fiction)
Going to the Hill
The Fae are Free
When They Don't Know (submitted to elsewhereuniversity)
The Chosen One
The Chosen One's Parents
Fate and Mercy and Dead Girls
Amulet to Save Her
Hero's Apprentice (Flash fiction)
The Aftermath of the Chosen One
Wizards Stole My Brother
You are the Chosen One's Knight
The Chosen One is a History Major
You are the Most Powerful Magic User
Time Restarts and She Remembers
Better the Witch than the Kid
Witches
It Was in a Name
The Good Witch of Hawthorne
Berthe the Green Witch
Cursed Mold (flash fiction)
Love isn't Enough
I Can't Believe it's not Proper Adjudication
Devil Deals
The Devil You Know
The Ritual
They Summoned Her on Halloween (flash fiction)
Fairytale Retellings
Ariel and Ursula (age appropriate)
The Gods
Zeus' Son
Faith in Technology
Sci-Fi
Six Red Bulls and Persistence
The Sound of Silence
Emmaline and the Apartment
Humans are Vengeful
Humans Know War (that's why we have diplomacy)
Criminals Forced to Live on as AI (flash fiction)
Misc Fantasy
Wind-Speaker
Wind-Speaker and Her Wife
You Will Become
The Sirens and Leona (flash fiction)
Eldritch Princess (flash fiction)
Princess Maria and the Dragon
Princess Maria is Kidnapped
Immortals are Afraid of Change
Fiona the Dragon
A Violently Won War
Meta Stories
An Abstract Concept
Narrative Town
Narrative Town: Uncle Ralph
Princess Phaedra Breaks
You are a Horror Movie Villain
Ghost Stories
Malevolent Spirits
Your House is Haunted by an Anime Pillow
Don't Open the Door
Grandma's House
Who Is? (flash fiction)
A Face (flash fiction)
Misc.
You Choose Your Fate in Hell
Time Paradox (flash fiction)
You are an Assassin
Multiple Dimension Serial Killer (flash fiction)
An Exercise in Mary Sue
She Comes Back from the Hospital (tw eating disorder)
Roses and Evil (mental health flash fiction)
Big Brother
A Conversation About Anger
Punching Depression
Two Sides (flash fiction)
Immortal Serial Killer in Prison
Theater Romance (flash fiction)
The Lady and the Knight (flash fiction)
Different (flash fiction)
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Yours - 18+
Masterlist
Spencer never thought he’d be lucky enough to find you, but he has. You have all his devotion and all he hopes for in return is for you to let him stay yours.
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story contains strong themes and detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact! You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read.
WARNING: Smut: softdom! Spencer, grinding, hickies, penetration, PinV, unprotected sex (this can lead to babies & stds btw, avoid this by being fivehead and using a condom), creampie. Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 5.3K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
The question regarding the existence of soulmates is not a question that can be answered using science. Any individual’s answer to the question is more of a personal belief than a factual answer. And as a man of science, one would think that Spencer Reid would at least attempt to refute the ideology when asked.
The ideology that he himself is not whole, but only half of an intertwined soul. That another person is not only his other half, but also his better half. Somebody with whom he shares such a natural, deep understanding, that he feels complete simply by existing in their presence. It’s one of those phenomena he can’t explain, but only this one, he’s confident is true.
“Spence?” A light nudge accompanied by the whisper of his name breaks him away from his thoughts.
“Hm?” He blinks rapidly, focusing his eyesight on your curious face with a matching look.
The light from a singular bedside lamp only reaches half of his face. It casts a beautiful, soft contrast on his sharp features. The gold that’s usually hidden by the brown makes his irises look like sparkling pools of honey. Ethereal -not a word you would use when normally describing a man- but that’s how he looks.
“Do you believe in soulmates?”
He hadn’t ever thought he could believe in such a thing. Mostly because he’d always been sure that he would never experience it.
“Do you?” His voice carries your question back to you.
You can hear the city buzzing outside. Cars honking angrily in a futile attempt to speed up the pace of the traffic. People conversing, arguing, laughing. Loud thuds of music from the upstairs neighbour who cares little about the piling noise complaints. Somehow, the hum of Spencer’s words is the only sound that your ears register.
“I asked first.” You playfully scoff, breaking eye contact and swivelling your head straight.
Spencer mirrors your motions, both of you now facing the ceiling as you remain side by side on his bed.
“Yes.” His answer is barely above a whisper.
It seems that your bodies want to make up for lost contact. You can feel his pinky reaching out to touch yours as you meet him halfway.
“Me too.”
A comfortable silence takes over the conversation. Everything feels still. The only movement is that of his fingers grazing against yours. He’s touched you in far more personal places tonight alone, and this is still one of your most intimate moments. There are no expectations or hidden agendas. This is simply the two of you existing in each other's presence; his preferred way to exist. It stretches until another inane question makes its way to the forefront of your mind.
“Do you ever wonder if you’ll get to meet them in this lifetime?”
He pushes his frame up and rotates to face you as he sinks back down to the mattress. His head rests on the arm folded below it. You turn your head back to him so that you’re both holding eye contact again.
“No.” He mouths the answer, his voice hesitant to raise at first. “I wonder whether mine is a romantic bond or platonic.”
Your stomach flutters at the insinuation and you shift to mirror his position this time. In the midst of shuffling, the two of you seem to have closed a good chunk of the distance between you.
“What do you want it to be?” You whisper, entranced by his gaze.
Two of his knuckles lightly skim your cheek before those fingers brush your hair away from you. The act alone is enough to make your face heat up, no matter how many times he’s done it before. He begins to lazily stroke your hair, scratching your head in the process. It gives you the same tingling sensation you get from some rare ASMR videos.
You don’t follow up on your question, unable to remember anything that was on your mind beforehand. His touch, combined with the minimal lighting and close proximity provides you with a sense of security you rarely feel otherwise. Your lids begin to grow heavy and you're forced to break eye contact when the weight of them becomes too much.
“That’s really distracting y’know.” You mumble, eyes closed and voice hazy.
“I know.” He mutters, almost without sound.
He can’t help his smile as he watches you drift to sleep. He’s studied every feature on your face at least a hundred times and he’s yet to find a single flaw. The fact that you’re okay with being this vulnerable with him is a privilege that he’ll thank any and every deity he doesn’t even believe in for. Faint snoring indicates that you’re now dead to the world, but he can’t let your previous question go unanswered.
“Whichever one allows me to be yours forever.”
Waking up to the warmth of your body pressed against his is by no means a recent development in your relationship with Spencer. Your back is to his chest and his arm is draped across your stomach, trapping you against him. Not that you mind. You’ve been lying still as you are for almost a while now, your thumb caressing the side of his wrist. With a yawn nuzzled into your neck, Spencer attempts to pull you closer to him, closing distance that was never there to begin with.
He can feel the rise and drop of your chest; you can feel the beating of his heart behind yours. Neither of you is fully awake yet, opting to enjoy the silence and comfort of the other's presence. Your bodies are so closely tangled that your skin is almost melding with each other.
Almost.
The unexpected brushing of his hardness against your ass sends a jolt of electricity passing through you, waking you up in an instant. If it were anybody else, perhaps you would’ve felt ashamed of how that passing moment made your insides jump. You definitely wouldn’t have arched your barely clothed cunt towards the obstruction. A sharp exhale fans across the back of your neck, and you can practically feel the corners of his lips pull into a lazy smirk.
“Well, good morning.” A groggy voice leans into your ear and the grip on your belly tightens.
“Morning.” You breathe out, barely audible.
You feel yourself clench around nothing when a hot, sticky kiss lands just behind your ear. Your arch intensifies when another one lands below your jaw and you unintentionally grind against him. It earns you a low grunt from him, which only prompts you to repeat the motion without thinking. His head drops in the nook of your shoulder, taken slightly off guard. He meets you halfway the third time, and it sets both your hips in a slow motion of rubbing against each other.
He can hear you hum each time his confined erection strokes your bundle of nerves and it sparks a determination in him to get more out of you. His hand trails from your abdomen to your pelvis, stopping just at the band of your underwear. He tugs the fabric, not making any further moves until you allow him to. You know that if you don’t take control now he’s going to prolong his foreplay, something you don’t have the patience for right now. He always makes it a point to make you finish at least once before he even considers himself.
Out of the four times you came the night before, three of them were with his head between your thighs. You can’t even count the number of times you’ve teased him about how he probably gets off on pleasing you more than you do. You surprise him when you grab his hand and push it away from you, swinging yourself around to straddle him. Your hands land on either side of his head and you lower your forehead to rest against his.
“Nuh-uh!” You taunt and it makes him snort.
His palms trace your sides, arms wrapping around you, pulling your torso down to him.
“You’re not allowed to touch me this time.” You add in a hushed tone.
“No?” His brows raise in amusement.
“No.”
You barely breathe out the word when his arms drop from around you. A slight chill takes over the area.
“No!” You repeat in a whiny tone, pushing yourself to sit up.
You’re looking down on him from this angle, and God, does he look beautiful. His fluffy, sleep-tousled hair frames his face beautifully, the faint light of the rising sun only adding to the sight.
“That’s not what I mean and you know it!”
“I don’t know. You need to be clearer with what you want.” He chuckles.
“I want you to stop being a little shit.” You retort, reaching for his hands.
You attempt to settle them on your thighs, but he removes them again.
“I’m not allowed to touch you. Remember?” He emphasises the word allowed on purpose.
Both of you know that he’s the only one allowed to touch you and vice versa. Even if it wasn't something you both agreed upon, you’d never let anybody else touch you like him. If they even knew how to.
“You can touch me.” You roll your eyes, pulling his hands back to your skin. “But you can’t fuck me with anything other than your dick.”
Your curt tone doesn’t surprise him. He’s used to your boldness. Using your hips, he pulls you down onto his bulge completely. You don’t anticipate the sudden friction and it takes everything in you to not topple over on him. Spencer wasn’t prepared for the impact of his actions either, his head lolling back as he hisses sharply.
“Yeah?” He questions through half gritted teeth.
He’s painfully hard and the current view isn’t helping. He can clearly make out the shape of your curves under your flimsy t-shirt. How it drapes on the apex of your breasts, how the hem pools just above your thighs. His grip tightens against the plush of your skin.
“Mhm.” You breathe out, eyes fluttering as you keep your core pressed to him.
“Words, sweet girl. Use your words.” His breathing is laboured and it’s taking all of his willpower to not rut his dick back up against you.
The praise breaks you. You can no longer hold yourself up, falling into his chest.
“Please fuck me.” You can only whisper in his ear, sending chills down his spine.
He groans, grabbing you by the waist and flipping both of you around so you’re the one lying on the bed. It seems that he’s become just as impatient as you, if not more. He captures your lips in a deep, demanding kiss as he tugs his boxers just enough for his length to spring free. His tongue swipes your lips, seeking entrance and you grant it to him. He finds your kisses addicting. It takes an incredible amount of willpower to break them, but he does, sitting up on his knees.
He parts your legs, placing one on either side of him and yanking you closer to him. You squeak in response, not processing the action until your cores are once again pressed together. You sigh when he pushes your panties to the side and runs a finger up your slit. A satisfied hum escapes him when he learns just how aroused you are. You sigh when runs his tip against you next, lining himself up with your cunt and pushing just the tip inside. Each of his hands intertwine with yours as he moves them above your head. He then leans in and plants a feather-light kiss on your cheek.
“Like this?” He whispers in your ear.
He pushes in a little more and pulls out just enough for him to stay lined.
“More!” You whine, breathlessly, brows furrowing from anticipation.
“Mhm.” He doesn’t properly acknowledge your desperation and instead latches onto the skin under your jaw, sucking gently.
You sigh at the sensation, arching more as his shaft pushes in again. This time, he doesn’t stop until he’s completely bottomed out. You moan and squeeze his hands, still intertwined with yours above your head. You never expect how full he makes you feel. Spencer squeezes your hands in return, still reeling in from how well your cunt accommodates him. He takes a minute, resting himself inside you to allow time for both of you to adjust to the feeling.
He releases your skin with a small pop and moves a new spot on your neck. You think about how you’re going to have to use concealer to hide the marks he’s surely leaving behind and it makes you clench around him. The effect on him is instantaneous, a harsh groan vibrating against your throat and he sucks harder. The sound only makes your walls tighten more and it cues him to start thrusting.
The initial pace is slow, but calculated; the kind that makes your joints loosen and jaw slack. He takes the opportunity to capture your lips in another long and consuming kiss. A loud moan ripples out from both of you and your hands deepen their hold on each other. Spencer’s not shy about letting you hear how good you make him feel and that drives you insane.
Your hands instinctively try to reach for his hair, but he’s pinned you down tight. You whine into his mouth, pressing your fingers between his knuckles. Your whine fizzles out into a series of smaller whines when his hips speed up, hitting that sweet spot with every thrust.
“Mm–Spence–mmph–”
You try to break the kiss to speak, but he simply drops a quick kiss on your jaw before reclaiming his place against your lips. He’s too lost in the taste of you to pay full attention. It takes you a moment to find the willingness to try again, but you do. You arch your hips too high for him to be able to follow from this position, forcing him to slip out from you and try to remove your hands from his grip. His focus is brought back to you and he lifts himself back on his knees, releasing you.
“What’s wrong? Have I hurt you?”
“M-mm” You shake your head and push yourself up on your hands.
You then shift into his lap, draping your arms around his shoulders. He gives you a curious look, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“I want to be able to hold you.” You admit with a slight shyness in your tone.
A light smile spreads across his face, brows arching in surprise. Being a genius and all, he’s always known he was needed in some way or another. You’re the first person who’s ever made him feel wanted, truly wanted. With no motive other than simply existing with him. It sparks a new desire, one you see light up behind his eyes. He leans into your lips, his hold on your waist tightening and he moves one arm to cradle the back of your head.
You pull yourself flush against him, wrapping your arms around his neck as your tongues dance together once more. He lifts you up and places you back down against the mattress, mouth never leaving yours. You feel his palm raise one of your legs by the back of your knee and he’s entering you again. He rests that leg on his shoulder, while the other hangs by his waist and begins to build an unrelenting pace.
You wail into his mouth at the intensity of his thrusts, eyes rolling behind closed eyes. It’s almost brutal, the way he’s slamming into you. Your hands desperately cling onto his bicep and shoulder, nails digging into the skin. His grunts and groans increase each time he gets deeper, if that’s even physically possible and it only makes you desperate for more. Your kiss breaks with a slight sting against Spencer’s lip. You didn’t realise how hard you were biting it in an attempt to stay grounded.
There’s a shift in the atmosphere that you can’t explain. Even though Spencer was railing you so hard that even the bed had begun to cry out, there was an overwhelming sense of longing between you two. An ache to express how you belong to the other, hidden behind an uncouth sight. It’s compensation for those lack of words, a physical exchange expressing your biggest secret. He’s everywhere; your current position has you feeling Spencer in places you didn’t deem possible.
His mouth works over whatever exposed skin it can access along your jaw and throat, leaving goosebumps and bruising stains in its wake. His cock is driving into you so fast that you swear it’s going to imprint on your walls. There’s a fire in you, one that only he can put out. Every inch of him can be felt within every inch of you. Now you’re truly melded with each other.
“Fuck–oh my God!” You scream out, your nails digging harder into his flesh.
He’s consuming all of your senses, at this moment you don’t know anything other than him. Eyes open or closed, all you can see is his sculpted face. You’re drowning in his scent. Melting at his touch. The taste of his kiss still lingers on your tongue. Your ears are flooded with the slaps of his skin meeting yours and your mixed moans and grunts.
“Spen–fuck–gon–fu–cum!”
He hasn’t even spared your ability to speak. With a short kiss, he brings his forehead back to rest on yours in a firm manner.
“Me too, pretty girl.” He pants his sentence in broken pauses. “Me too.”
He secures the leg on his shoulder from the back of your thigh and then brings the other leg on his other shoulder. It gives him room to drive himself deeper and makes you lose all control, every joint in your body threatening to fall limp. Your face contorts and you bite your lip, trying to control the flurry of screams. It results in high-pitched whines forcing their way out.
“Spencer! I can’t–I can’t–I can’t”
You can’t hold on any longer.
“I know. I know.” There’s barely any voice accompanying his words. “We’ll do it together, okay? Where do you want me?”
“Inside–inside–ins-shitshitshit…”
“Inside? Inside.” He struggles to keep himself together while talking you through it. “Ready?”
You nod fervently and he steals one long, final kiss from you as he finally empties himself in your spent cunt. Your own orgasm crashes through in a long passing wave. You feel like you’re floating in the ocean with millions of stars as your only view for miles. He follows up with a few final thrusts, burying himself as far in you as possible.
When you finally come to, Spencer’s pulled out and is lying right next to you. Peppering kisses over your face in intervals and muttering praises as strokes away hair glued to your face.
“Did so well.”
“So good to me.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
For some reason, the water always feels nicer running down your body when you use Spencer’s shower. He’s a simple man; he doesn’t really have a lot of products to use besides the basic shampoo, conditioner, soap, and body wash. The exfoliators, masks and such were your initial additions that he keeps topping up after they run out.
You haven’t said much since coming out of your euphoric state, only showing your gratitude and appreciation through small touches. Brushing a hand against his cheek, leaving a peck on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He doesn’t mind your silence. It doesn’t deter him from showering you with praise while he looks after you. You’re so disorientated that you’re letting yourself be guided from one instruction to the next.
“Lift your leg for me, sweet girl. Hand on my shoulder.”
He helps you act out his command, grabbing your wrist and draping it on his shoulder while helping you lift your leg. His touch is tender, but he’s careful to cover every area with body wash.
“Good girl.”
You don’t physically react, but his approval makes you swell with pride. Sex is the least intimate part of your time with Spencer. What you really enjoy is how safe he makes you feel. You know that even if you show him your worst and ugliest moments, he won’t reject you. You trust him with parts of you that you barely trust yourself with.
Anybody who’s touched your naked body before him doesn’t matter, because not one of them has gotten to touch it past the realm of physical pleasure. To you, the act of washing one’s body is so private, so sacred that it can’t be trusted with just anybody. How many are able to look past the lens of sexual release and view your skin and bones as something to cherish? Not even you can claim to view yourself in such a precious way.
But Spencer does.
Even as pats you dry and wraps you safely in a warm towel, he doesn’t demean your worth. They’d be thoughts he could easily keep hidden in the comfort of his own mind, but the thoughts simply don’t occur. You don’t realise how long the two of you are standing there, leaning into each other's arms against the counter. Nor do you realise how long it’s taken you to mentally return to him. The first thing you do notice is so trivial, it’s almost laughable.
“You’re out of apple juice, by the way.”
Even you’d laugh if you heard yourself bring up something so random.
“Do you want apple juice? We can go buy some more.” He replies in a quiet mumble.
In his presence, you can think such thoughts without the concern of being laughed at.
“No, I’m not gonna make you go to the grocery store just for apple juice.” You shake your head, expression oozing sarcasm.
“I need to buy a lot more than apple juice. I’m pretty sure I don’t even have enough to make eggs or coffee.” He snorts, running his fingers through your hair.
“Right. I forgot, Mister F.B.I.” You snort back, playfully poking his arm. “How was your time in Alaska?”
It’s really common for your brain to malfunction around Spencer. You don’t feel the need to think or stay on alert if he’s with you.
“Grim. Bleak.” He keeps it short on purpose.
He doesn’t want to taint what little time he has with you focused on the gory parts of his job. Or any parts of his job at all. He spends too much of his time there as it is, so he’d much prefer to keep that part of his life separate from you. Spencer didn’t understand what it truly meant to live until after you came into his life. He’d never admit it out loud, but being around you made him realise how much of his soul his job steals from him, piece by piece. You make it whole again.
“How bad was it?” Curiosity still gets the better of you at times.
“Awful. You weren’t there when I woke up every morning.” He steers the conversation again.
“Uh-huh.” You smirk, looking up at him. “You say that to all your girl-friends the morning after?”
He takes a small step back, creating space as he cups your face.
“Even if I had the social skills required, when do you honestly think I would have the time between being at work and being with you?”
“When you’re at work. Duh.” You tap his temple, playfully, voice dripping with sarcasm.
He scoffs, unamused. It’s something Spencer can’t honestly even imagine. You’re his solace, his best friend…his person.
“Get dressed.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “We’ll stop by that bakery you love and get some food in your system. Hopefully before your suggestions start becoming more and more insane.”
You don’t appreciate the awestruck look on his face when you’re certain you’ve got chocolate lining the corners of your mouth. You attempt to glare at him, but it doesn’t last and you find yourself fighting back a smile.
“Cut it out!” You groan, stringing out the end of your sentence.
The trolley comes to a halt as you stop to grab your phone, but he snatches it out of your hand before you can open the camera.
“Hey–”
“I’m revoking your phone privileges until your urge to keep checking your reflection fizzles out.” He states casually, slipping the phone into his pocket as he reaches for a loaf of bread on the top shelf.
“Revoking my– what are you my fucking mother?” You reach for his pocket, but he grabs your wrist before you can retrieve your phone.
You try to use your free arm, but he traps that one in his hands too.
“I don’t wanna walk around with chocolate around my mouth!” You whisper-shout, mindful of other shoppers passing by.
“For the fifth time, you don’t have chocolate anywhere on your face. It wasn’t there after you finished your shake and it won’t be there no matter how many times you check.”
You ignore him, trying to free yourself from his grip.
“You don’t believe me?” The look on his face is more entertained than shocked.
“Spencer, my fluffy-headed, genius bookworm, I would put my life in your hands if you asked me to but after that time you let me walk around with my lipstick smudged–”
“That happened one time!” He gripes, less concerned about his volume.
“I looked like I came straight off the clock from a circus!”
“It wasn’t that bad!”
“Six hours, you let me walk around like that!”
If he were to be completely honest, he was completely enraptured by your long tangent about why you despise dolphins. Most of it wasn’t based on facts and the parts that were, weren’t really a feasible argument since morals are a uniquely human concept. However, that was the day he uncovered how brightly you light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. He spent the rest of that time, subtly digging, trying to figure out the topics that made you glow so he could keep bringing them up.
“There’s nothing there. Your face is– looks perfect.” He fumbles on his words.
“I can feel it!” You protest.
“That happens because–”
“Reid?” An unfamiliar voice calls out from behind you.
Spencer lets go of your wrists as you turn to face the owner of the voice. Two blondes, one behind the other. One of them is a lot more colourful and bold, with large statement jewelry and a pair of gorgeous platform heels that match her dress. The other is less vibrant, but with no less confidence and blue eyes that stand out like diamonds shining under lights.
“Hey! What are you guys doing here?”
You’re not a profiler, but you don’t miss the immediate shift in Spencer’s demeanour. He seems a lot more reserved and shy, as compared to the confidant and playful version of him that you know.
“We’re picking up some things for my birthday bash this weekend.” The brown-eyed blonde chirps. “The one that I will definitely see you at, no excuses allowed!”
“Right.” He gives an awkward, tight-lipped smile.
Spencer loves his coworkers, he really does. They’re basically his family. However, he wants nothing more for them to go away right now. Not for any reason other than wanting to keep you away from them, because he knows them. For all their amazing qualities, there’s one that annoys him the most and that’s how nosey they can be. Especially when it comes to him.
“Hi. I’m JJ.” The blue-eyed blonde takes the initiative to introduce herself, reaching out her hand for a friendly shake.
He knows it’s from a place of love. He’s the youngest member of the team, they all want to protect him, but he detests how they coddle him. He can already sense the incoming invitation from Garcia to her birthday. He knows that it won’t take long for you to befriend everyone on his team, because, well, they’re all amazing people. Integrating you with that part of his life is something he’s just not ready for. Not like this.
“I’m Penelope and oh my goodness, you are just gorgeous!”
He enjoys how when he’s with you, he can exist in a separate bubble. Where all he is, is not the resident genius of the BAU. More than that, he knows of the dangers that come with integrating the two separate lives. He’s seen the losses that occur, whether they be by generic circumstances or unplanned deaths. And there’s nothing he can do to stop his worlds colliding, a fact he has to grasp as soon as he zones back in to find three sets of eyes staring at him, expectantly.
“Right.” He clears his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “These are my– um– this is Penelope Garcia and Jennifer Jareau, or JJ. We work together.”
The introduction is hesitant and rushed at best, but you chalk it up to him being taken off guard. You want to gauge his mood, try and figure out where his head’s at, but that’s going to have to wait.
“Oh my God! I knew it!” Garcia gasps dramatically, taking your hand in hers. “You’re the reason he’s always in a rush to leave now! It is so nice to meet you!”
Garcia’s not wrong. You are the reason he’s always in a rush to get away. You’re his escape from the harsh realities he faces every day. You’re unsure of how to respond. In fact, you’re not even certain as to what’s going on. Nobody else seems to match Penelope's enthusiasm. Spencer looks mortified, while JJ looks like she wants to drag Penelope away. Still, everybody’s too frozen to stop her.
“Did you know that you have him checking his phone more than a lovestruck teenage girl? Him! One of the biggest technophobes I’ve ever met!”
This is also a fact. Spencer’s not an idiot. He’s not oblivious to the open-mouthed stares he gets every time he’s caught smiling like a dopey idiot after looking at the screen. He’s just never cared. It’s almost impossible to ignore any notification from you. He doesn’t feel great about that coming to bite him in the ass right about now.
Given different circumstances that were more in his control, Spencer would be elated to introduce the most important people in his life to each other. This whole interaction is actually shorter than he feels it is, but for Spencer, time moves too slowly. He can sense how the safety of your company as he knows it, the most valuable aspect of his life, is under threat of being ripped away from him with every second that passes. Without you, Spencer would once again find himself lost.
“Spencer, you have to bring her to my bash this weekend! Everybody would love to meet your girlfriend!” Garcia wiggles her eyebrows, eyes smirking beneath her glasses.
Because all he is, is yours.
“Oh! Uhm–” You begin.
“No Garcia, she’s–this is…my friend..” He adds at the same time, unable to hide his stutter.
At least, that’s all he wants to be.
“Right…we’re just…friends.” You confirm with a half-hearted smile at the reminder of your reality.
It was better this way. The two of you agreed on this at the start of your arrangement.
Spoilers: Mostly just fluff, a sprinkle of angst, smut, lots of mutual pining, friends with benefits.
AN - I felt a surge of evil take over my bones when I wrote this and any events that unfolded were out of my control. This is not my finest work, but once I thought of it I had to share it. Also I know I said not to bother me about fics bc uni and I still mean that, I just don’t know what happened. It’s like I got a bit of inspo and couldn’t help myself. Huge thanks to @mrs-dr-reid for beta reading! FWB Writing Challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins Prompt - "I wanna be yours" by Arctic Monkeys
No bc writing that opening scene on the bed might be my favourite and u should tell me if u agree bc I wanna write more like that, but if u hate it then I won't.
Thanks for reading.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#bau team#ssa spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#domestic spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#; participates#; fics
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my angel baby
(alastor w/ angel daughter reader)
[caution!!: EPISODE 8 & 6 SPOILERS. NOT PROOFREAD]
(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hazbin hotel. angel reader physically resembles a fawn. )
(right now this is considered a oneshot, unless there is a very high demand for a part 2 I'll happily make another one for funzies!)
(PART 2 IS OUT!!!)
(also apologies if alastor's last name isnt actually altruist LMAo I kinda just wrote it assuming so 😭 )
You made it to heaven, lucky you.
Heaven was surely a treat, you lived your days with the upmost happiness, the light of heaven shining on your skin with kisses as if praising you for your goodness and your sacrifices,
all your sacrifices.
You were currently taking the job over for St. Peter at the gates of heaven for just a few minutes to await for any wondering souls to appear, to help guide them while he came back from a lunch break. Normally they wouldn't allow a human soul like yourself with little experience in this kind of task to take charge of such an important job, but you were close to many of the high ranking angels and you have proved your proficiency in tasks that you set your mind to, so you were glad to help those in need.
You stood there reading through the millions of pages looking over all kinds of names, all seemed like names that you wouldn't normally hear back in your time when you died. Some you liked, others didn't exactly pique your interest much, but the advancement of names since the 1930s surely proved how much times have changed and how quickly time seems to pass in heaven.
You wonder if it is in hell too.
'Hell?..' you wondered as you shook your head and sighed, your mind has been on that place lately and you wondered if it was even worth the rent free space in your mind.
You were currently slouched over the book and decided to close it with a glum look on your face, your elbows now resting on the golden podium and your hands cupping your face.
Geez, and you've been thinking a lot about your old man.
What-- no wait-
You shouldn't call him your old man, let alone your dad, not even father, pops-- not even by his damn name.
Even so, as much as you hated it.. you couldn't help but still use his last name sometimes since it's what you were given when you were first taken in.
Your last name?.. why, you're forgetting already?
_____ Altruist is who you a---
"HELLO??"
You snapped out of your thoughts as your head slipped from under your palms, face planting onto the cover of the enormous book. In embarrassment you snapped your head back up and your wings followed suit, spreading open behind you in shock as your eyes searched for the voice that called out to you from below.
You finally darted down to see three oddly shaped figures, your panicked vision soon relaxing to see two girls and a man dressed in red from tip to toe.
How peculiar.
Your eyes only set on the girl at the moment since she was the one waving at you and basically begging for your attention.
"Hello hello! uh.. Down here!" The girl with long locks of pale yellow hair waved, her smile widening when seeing she's caught your attention.
"Ah- yes yes! Hello hello! Welcome to Heaven! May I.. uh-" you scrambled nervously to open the book in the middle of it, "May I have your name please?"
She nodded, also returning a bit of a shy attitude back "Yes of course! My names Charlie Morningstar!"
Just like that you flicked the pages to go to the names that sounded similar to the girl's, mumbling her name under your breath as your finger traced down each name on the list.. to your dismay you couldn't find it.
"You don't seem to be on the list ma'am.. how weird.. does this usually happen with St. Peter?.." you spoke in concern, mumbling the last part to yourself.
The girl then started to explain something about her dad getting her a meeting, your mind a little clouded still trying to find her name until you heard the forbidden name that no one inside the pearly gates ever attempted to say out loud.
"-- maybe try, Lucifer.. Morning...star-"
And just like that you slammed the book closed, no words coming out of your mouth but an exasperated look of shock freezing your face.
"Oh-hoho... that explains so much--" you gave her a small sheepish smile, awkwardly looking off to the side where your eyes couldn't help but drag themselves to the man dressed in red.
"Miss you don't think.. you could've..." your eyes at first looked at the man's waist, his coat lightly shredded at the ends and the stripes of the long suit guided your eyes upwards "-gotten..." up and up and your eyes met his. The red eyes, the ears, the small horns, the horrific aura, and..
Oh dear, you'd recognize that damned smile anywhere.
"--lost..?" the end of your sentence dragged on, taking a long while to finish since all you could think about is how this man is at the front door step of the place he shouldn't even be considered in being let to enter.
Alastor, your father from the living realm. Not connected by blood but by life and connection.
The man where you got your last name from by being taken in and called his daughter.
The red deer demon seemed to recognize you as well, a spark in his devilish eyes proved it so, but it was very brief since he more or less also seemed to relish the look on your face with his smile stretched further up.. however further up it could get.
Charlie seemed concerned at your reaction, waving her hand in front of your face gently as if to get you out of this trance. "Heyyy... are you okay?.." she asked with genuine worry until all of you were focused away from this bizarre moment when a set of three angels befell before you all. The two seraphims and finally-- St. Peter off from his break.
"_____. We can take it from here, we appreciate the help." The highest and oldest seraphim announced your name and her appreciation while gliding down a bit more earlier than the blonde angel you covered for, she and the younger seraphim's forms going from their true to more human-like appearances.
"_____! My dear friend thank you so much for covering for me, always a real helper you!" St. Peter popped beside you as he praised you while gently flying beside you, you looked up at him with a small nervous smile before opening your own wings to flap down from his podium and let him get back on the job.
"It's no problem at all, you know me! Always.. happy to help.." you spoke your last words to him before your wings gently took you down to set yourself beside another one of your friends, Emily! You never talked much to Sera that wasn't in a formal setting but Emily seemed so easy to get along with. She gave you a tight squeeze of a hug while saying hello which eased your nerves a bit more, of course they never fully disappeared with the man who ruined everything before you let out your last breath.. standing right in front of you.
The man that brought you up here in the first place.
The seraphims introduced themselves to the three residents of hell, the deer demon more quiet until finally finding a spot of silence to jump in and introduce himself as well.
"Why hello, a real pleasure meeting you two quite the pleasure! Never thought I'd ever get to see an angel up this close in my life HAHA! The names Alastor!"
The voice, the radio static over it, his name.
It was him, you recognized it as if you listened to him on the radio just yesterday, your own personal hell.
Whatever reaction or words the higher ranked angels said seemed to fizzle out of your brain as they were replaced with the memories of your last moments on earth.
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Father!" you screamed as you ran up to your childhood home, the home to which you were raised and kept in, your home in which you lived in with your father, Alastor Altruist.
For sometime you had suspected foul play when it came to your father's weird actions when the night came, the tone he spoke through his radio show when announcing several murders happening across and haunting New Orleans. You just didn't want to truly believe that the man that found you, a poor little orphaned baby, and raised you would do such disgusting and diabolical crimes.
You couldn't believe it.. until you finally saw it.
Your legs scrambled and fought each step to become faster, finally reaching the door of your home you slammed it open with a strong kick after jiggling the doorknob didn't work.
You knew the next murder he would commit would happen in your home.. you thanked whatever force that made you disobey him and look through his study since if you didn't you wouldn't know that right now there was blood to be shed.
The door opening and with your kick full of adrenaline and panic it made the door barley cling onto it's hinges. There your father was, on top of a wounded man that seemed to be gurgling and gasping to breathe as the victim attempted to claw at Alastor's grasp. Pieces of glass and wood broken across the entire floor, walls bloodied and worn out, pictures that hung neatly now cracked and lopsided or shattered on the floor.
Whatever happened in here, the victim was sure a fighter in the beginning.
You immediately without hesitation with full force pushed Alastor off the man, pulling the bloodied stranger by his wrist. The victim and you stared for a moment, him mostly realizing that he's being saved by a young girl like you. His lips parted to thank you but you could see Alastor raise his kitchen knife in the air and sprinted toward him to stab him on the back.
With no words left to share or spill you grabbed the stranger by the shoulders and with all your might pushed him and yourself away so that in the end Alastor ended up stabbing nothing but air.
Alastor grunted in frustration, his bloodied smile yet never faltering despite the challenge you now gave him.
The man snapped his head at you, eyes fixated at you before snapping back to his victim and raising his knife up once more, in a haunting motion his steps creeped and creaked towards the injured New Orleans citizen stricken with fear and terror.
Just like that, Alastor slams his knife down with no hesitation. The knife fully in his prey with no inch of the blade uncovered.
Oh-- wait.
That shriek, the sobs, the shaky breathing and the coughs of blood.. that wasn't his victim.
It was you.
His daughter, he stabbed his daughter.
For a moment you could see his crazed smile falter, the humane part of him uncovering itself for a moment, for you.
His little girl was covered in her blood because of him, the little baby he found on that cold rainy day is dying because of him, his bundle of joy that he took years to take care of is leaving him.. and it's all his fault.
He didn't know it was you-- he didn't know you'd be that stupid to sacrifice yourself for some random prick.
He didn't know that in the end, someone as evil as him could have raised someone as selfless as you.
"p..papa..?" you whimpered, your painful coughs of blood spilling out and going down your chin and your neck. "It hurts-- g.. it hurts so much papa.." you cried as the knife in your chest seemed to feel as if it was melting into your skin, becoming one with you. It obviously wasn't but the pain was just that painful.
Alastor's smile faltered and kept trying to stay up, his own set of tears falling down his face and onto your cheeks that were slowly losing life. Regret stabbing his own heart the way he did to yours. He let go of the knife and instead cradled you in his arms, just like how he used to when you would have nightmares as a little girl.
"Shh.. Shh.." he shush you softly as he gently patted your head, moving away any uneven strands of hair he could spot with his hands trembling in regret. "Little one.. don't worry about a thing, papa's here.. " he mumbled, the gentleness replacing what once was pure aggressiveness.
Your eyes slowly started to flutter closed, your pulse slowing down, breathing less profound, your limbs going limp, and your face.. contorting into a peaceful state of slumber.
Alastor watched as you passed in his arms, his faltering smile picking itself up once more to stretch itself across his face with tears pouring out his eyes. This wasn't a smile of joy, it was a smile to hide what he truly felt.. to lie to himself. "My little angel, forgive me please."
Those were his last words to you, words that in the end you couldn't hear.
And that man he tried to kill earlier? He escaped when he was given the chance, Alastor was sure the cops were to invade his home soon.. now there was just one thing left to do before he'd be found once again to pay the consequences.
He took your body to a beautiful forest filled with flower meadows. Alastor knew this was one of your favorite spots as a young girl, why not let you rest here.
Ah but as he was preparing to bury you in your final resting place... that darn deer hunter.
Well, you know the story. Mistaken for a deer, shot, that's the end of Alastor Altruist and his darling daughter, ______ Altruist.
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As you stood there you were awoken from your thoughts with the high angels escorting the princess and her other female companion into the gates of heaven, St. Peter welcoming them humbly with one of heaven's popular songs.
You were frozen, in shock. A chill went down your spine as you felt a foreign energy come closer.
You felt long fingers grapple themselves onto your shoulder which made you dramatically turn towards the hand and away from it.
Your father wanted to talk to you.
Your contrasting colors and appearances made this reunitement even more uncomfortable for you, his demon form seeming to match his disgusting self that he hid from the human world before.
His face was hard to read, especially with that signature smile of his that even in death he would never get rid of.
"Little one, my darling daughter.." he spoke, his voice seemingly trying to seem genuine but the radio filter over it made it feel condescending to you.. as if mocking you.
The look on your face was evident, you missed him so much but hated him with your entire being because of that hidden side he kept for years.
He continued "My little ____... out of all places I never thought I'd see you here. Oh but it's definitely much better than down under my little dove.."
Geez what was he even saying?? What were his intentions..?? You couldn't tell.. after all this time, you couldn't forgive this man, this serial killer, this demon, this.. monster. You couldn't.. not this soon anyways.
You took a deep inhale and exhale before fixing your posture and stance, trying to seem more professional and confident. "Sir, your hosts and companions are ahead of you. You wouldn't want to miss your introduction to a place you'll never see again after this day." Your voice stern and professional, trying your best to be void of emotion.
"Darling.. is that truly a way to greet your dear ol' father?" He spoke, hand stretched out while the other held onto his staff.
"Your friends are waiting on you, don't be late Alastor."
Just like that you turned your heel and gave him the cold shoulder, your wings spread and started flapping. Taking you up and away further into your home.. Alastor watched you as you left him once again, this time by choice.
Ah but he knew, he'd have his darling daughter back soon. His little angel that he cared for will forgive him.. he knew you had to.
With his grin widening even further he walked to catch up to the Princess of hell and her partner into the pearly gates, to see what other thing could entertain him while his daughter snapped back to her senses.
(hello!! thank you so much for reading I had a blast with this. as you can tell. once again thank you so much for reading! hope to see you soon! mwa mwa!)
#hazbin hotel angst#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel spoilers#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#hazbin spoilers#alastor altruist#alastor the radio demon#radio demon#hellaverse#alastor x reader platonic#alastor platonic#hazbin platonic#sera hazbin hotel#emily hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#hazbin charlie#vaggie
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Golden flame danced between her fingers.
Elide recoiled, and the fire vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
"My name is Essar," the female said softly. "I am a friend--of your friends, I believe."
Elide said nothing.
"Cairn is a monster," Essar said, taking a step closer. "Stay far from him."
"I need to find him."
"You played the part of his mistreated lover well enough. You have to know something about him. What he does."
"If you know where he is, please tell me." She wasn't above begging.
Essar ran an eye over Elide. Then she said, "He was in this city until yesterday. Then he went out to the eastern camp." She pointed with a thumb over a shoulder. "He's there now."
"How do you know?"
"Because he's not terrorizing the patrons of every fine establishment in this town, glutting himself on the coin Maeve gave him when he took the blood oath."
Elide blinked. She had hoped some of the Fae might be opposed to Maeve, especially after the battle in Eyllwe, but to find such outright distaste...
Essar then added, "And because my sister--the soldier you spoke with--told me. She saw him in the camp this morning, smirking like a cat."
"Why should I believe you?"
"Because you are wearing Lorcan's shirt, and Rowan Whitethorn's cloak. If you do not believe me, inform them who told you and they will." Elide cocked her head to the side.
Essar said softly, "Lorcan and I were involved for a time."
They were in the midst of war, and had traveled for thousands of miles to find their queen, and yet the tightness that coiled in Elide's gut at those words somehow found space. Lorcan's lover. This delicate beauty with a bedroom voice had been Lorcan's lover.
"I'll be missed if I'm gone for too long, but tell them who I am. Tell them that I told you. If it's Cairn they seek, that is where he shall be. His precise location, I don't know." Essar backed away a step. "Don't go asking after Cairn at other taverns. He isn't well regarded, even amongst the soldiers. And those who do follow him... You do not wish to attract their interest."
Essar made to turn away, but Elide blurted,
"Where did Maeve go?"
Essar looked over her shoulder. Studied her.
The female's eyes widened. "She has Aelin of the Wildfire," Essar breathed.
Elide said nothing, but Essar murmured, "That was... that was the power we felt the other night." Essar swept back toward Elide. Gripped her hands. "Where Maeve went a few days ago, I don't know. She did not announce it, did not take anyone with her. I often serve her, am asked to... It doesn't matter. What matters is Maeve is not here. But I do not know when she will return."
Relief again threatened to send Elide crumpling to the ground. The gods, it seemed, had not abandoned them just yet.
But if Maeve had taken Aelin to the outpost where they'd lied that the Valg prince had been contained...
Elide gripped Essar's hands, finding them warm and dry. "Does your sister know where Cairn resides in the camp?"
For long minutes, then an hour, they had talked.
Essar left and returned with Dresenda, her sister. And in that alley, they had plotted.
Elide finished telling Rowan, Lorcan, and Gavriel what she'd learned. They sat in stunned silence for a long minute.
"Just before dawn," Elide repeated. "Dresenda said the watch on the eastern camp is weakest at dawn. That she'd find a way for the guards to be occupied. It's our only window."
Rowan was staring into the trees, as if he could see the layout of the camp, as if he were plotting his way in, way out.
"She didn't confirm if Aelin was in Cairn's tent, though," Gavriel cautioned. "Maeve is gone--Aelin might be with her, too."
"It's a risk we take," Rowan said. A risk, perhaps, they should have considered.
Elide glanced to Lorcan, who had been silent throughout. Even though it had been his lover who had helped them, perhaps guided by Anneith herself. Or at least had been tipped off by the scent on Elide's clothes.
"You think we can trust her?" Elide asked Lorcan, though she knew the answer.
Lorcan's dark eyes shifted to her. "Yes, though I don't see why she'd bother."
"She's a good female, that's why," Rowan said.
At Elide's lifted brow, he explained, "Essar visited Mistward this spring. She met Aelin." He cut a glare toward Lorcan. "And asked me to tell you that she sends her best."
Elide hadn't seen anything that came close to pining in Essar's face, but gods, she was beautiful. And smart. And kind. And Lorcan had let her go, somehow.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Essar#HoF#Heir of Fire bonus Chapter#TOG series#Throne of Glass series#another great Maasverse enterance — aka one of my favs in these books & this one got me — totally adding the chapter myself when I get HoF#no spoilers please first read to read along with me Pt3 of 4 perspectives w quotes/notes/reacts in tags below spoilers in both post & tags#Elide talking about keeping them safe even if at the prospect of Maeve’s hands which is worse than death yet Aelin did for months😭🖤#Rowans I did 2 weeks-shit-hurry & you didn’t break even when she feels she did-but she literally had Maeve in her head for months & didnt#To shield them from any eyes--those on the ground and above. — the raptors — Elides got a knife ok girl😅😂 but when they halted once more…?#Golden flame danced between her fingers. — AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#My name is Essar the female said softly. I am a friend--of your friends I believe. — YES YES YES HOLY FUCKING SHIT FIRE WEILDER HOF AH#Cairn is a monster Essar said taking a step closer. Stay far from him. —she doesnt know who she’s just being kind I knew I liked her#how does Maeve not know about her? or does she? is that an issue with the fire? hmm… also does the color change per wielder? we need more!!#If you know where he is please tell me. She wasn't above begging. — for Aelin😭#Because you are wearing Lorcan's shirt and Rowan Whitethorn's cloak. If you do not believe me inform them who told you and they will.#They were in the midst of war and had traveled for thousands of miles to find their queen and yet the tightness that coiled in Elide's gut#I'll be missed if I'm gone for too long but tell them who I am. Tell them that I told you.-cairn u seek he shall be-ok riddler😅#Don't go asking after Cairn at other taverns. He isn't well regarded even amongst the soldiers. — well at least they all agree on that#The female's eyes widened. She has Aelin of the Wildfire Essar breathed. — how did she know? Rowan being there (cuz clearly love)?#Aelin of the Wildfire — the regard That was... that was the power we felt the other night. — what doesn’t matter?#Relief again threatened to send Elide crumpling to the ground. The gods it seemed had not abandoned them just yet.#Just before dawn Elide repeated. Dresenda said the watch on the eastern camp is weakest at dawn.-Dawn?Mala?the sister?! I love Essar!#Lorcan’s ex lovers oh sweet Elide😅😭🖤 then the she’s a good woman&met Aelin that’s why cuz they all luv her&the risk we take&Elides 1 line😂#yet he didn’t let you go Elide TAKE NOTE OF THAT BABES#We all go in. We all go out. — and so they planned…
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Hey guys!
Quick lil PSA
DONT FUCKIN WATCH LINK CLICK ON YOUR PERIOD
Unrelated note: no these are not tears, I am simply allergic to earthquakes<3
#link click#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#anime recs#while ig technically its#donghua recs#spoilers below#I AM SOBBING#plsssss#him so desperately tryna save the mom#her singing the same song his mom did#idk about the sub#BUT IN THE DUB THE SOBBING WAS VISCERALLLL#and when he breaks down when he comes back#idc if they're the main duo#im allowed to be mad at lu guang#(he'll probably be my favorite by the end dw)#Day 21 of hiding from my friends
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alright i finally finished a little life
#SPOILERS BELOW ummmm#i havent cried so hard reading a book in a very long time lmao#i did predict willem falling in love with jude and jude commiting suicide#but i did not forsee willem dying first which was so torture and anguish#i do wish jb's meth addiction and homosexuality/specifically jude's was discussed a little bit more#i understand not really writing about jb because he isnt the main character but#why was yanagihara so deliberately avoidant of discussing homosexuality explicitly. ?#like you will talk about their careers their racial identities relationships graphic self harm scenes but that? and i cant help#but think that is somehow the line she wont cross because it's unjustifiable to relate to it somehow#like queerness is the one unrelatable unwritable subject matter....??? am i going insane#also. this book has awakened my mind to so many people who are.........bad at reading#its “”“fanbase”“” is almost like a mockery of the book itself i cant explain it but sometimes it is so painful to look at#i dont agree with people who say it's yanagihara exploiting trauma she hasnt personally experienced bc to only be able to#write abt personal experiences is a miserable and very limiting way to write#which is why in that same vien i wish she wrote more on queerness but okay whatever i digress#jude st francis reminds me of franics abernathy........it's always those fucking franics boys#and now i kind of want to reread the secret history but i also want to take a break to read smth lighter#but the only books i have at home rn is the red dragon series. is red dragon a 'lighter' read than a little life? discuss#rant over!#🫀
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𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 🎐...!—MASTERLIST
Sanemi shinazugawa x fem!reader
You were living your life in a brothel working as a courtesan....till the day you were supposed to be bought out by a man, a demon attacks. Luckily, a demon slayer saves you all.....what you didn't expected was him wanting to buy you out instead....
Genre/ warnings- 18+ suggestive content, smut, marriage of convenience, dub-con, profanity, abuse, death, pregnancy, blood (tengen and giyu having their his best life teasing sanemi) minors don't interact.....
Note- this series will contain spoilers
Taglist is open
𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :-
𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒
╰┈➤ Things get bloody the night you are supposed to be bought out from the brothel, your father sold you eight years ago. Fortunately an accidental presence of a demon slayer saves you all. As the dawn breaks, the owner devastated from destruction and latches out on you. Much expected from your fate, you say nothing but lower your head swallowing insults but what you didn't expect was the slayer ready to compensate, buying you out instead of the man.
𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐑
╰┈➤ After the wind pillar sanemi shinazugawa bought you out from the brothel, things started to become a hassle for him. His heart seems to jolt sometimes; his breath hitches; tengen uzui, the sound pillar teases him out of no reason. What annoyed him the most was when you started appearing everywhere— in his thoughts, in his dreams but he didn't expected you to appear in the middle of his mission.....
𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 (soon)
╰┈➤ Nezuko overcame the sun. Lurking of the demons decreased all of a sudden. Everything became quite. The silence became so overpowering as it were to be compared to the silence before the storm. And amongst the silence before the storm you found yourself pregnant.
Tags 🏷️
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#kimetsu no yaiba#sanemi x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x you#sanemi shinazugawa#demon slayer sanemi#kny sanemi#sanemi smut#kny shinazugawa#demon slayer shinazugawa#sanemi shinazugawa x reader#sanemi x you#sanemi x y/n#genya shinazugawa#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer#wind hashira#wind pillar#sanemi shinaguzawa#demon slayer smut#kny#kny masterlist
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