#spoiler alert it wasnt a warm up

[ozenfreed]

Soooo... I tried my hand at their design and kinda??? Love it??? This was fun! Kori belongs to @xmajordumps

[woozten-x]

#. 𝘼𝙨 𝘽𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙈𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 | 𝙉��𝙏 127

[ m.list including other neos! ]

─ Context: When dating, you’ve noticed many habits and cherished the many memories with your boyfriend; you recall every single one, your love for them growing stronger by the many moments shared with them. (NCT 127 EDITION)

─ Genre: Tooth-rotting FLUFF, lots of wholesome moments of just them being ur boyfriend, Headcanons

─ Length: 7 bullet points!

❒ a/n: hi i died but i have came back from the dead and as promised, i was gonna update in april. i had no excuse for why i wasnt writing LMAO but, here we are!! i hope this makes up for my absence and lack of updates. i swear, ill try to update more!! i do have plenty of drafts sitting in my silly little docs

tysm for the recent support tho! like always, i appreciate it sososo much and im happy to see many are interested with my writing(s)! <3<3 hope yall have a good one :) i have returned with a lovesick mindset once again! haechan + mark are already written in the NCT Dream version (linked below)

ꔠ NCT Dream as Boyfriend Moments .

!! Johnny .

Giving you the cutest pet names - ‘Precious’ and ‘My love’ are his all time favorites and he is always calling out to you softly; Johnny’s love is embedded in his words, his gaze glowering with the affection he holds for you and the smile never leaving his face, only you could make him feel this way!

The type to pick you up with arms wrapped around your waist, his muscles flexing whenever he effortlessly picks you up off the floor to spin you around with a playful smile etched on his lips; Johnny always treating you like you are the only one he laid eyes on, sharing the lighthearted moments with the one he has fallen for

LOVES sending you photos of himself before photoshoots or when he is doing absolutely nothing but daydreaming about you; Johnny literally sends you photos of himself before posting on his Instagram, teasing you with special photos that makes him look extra goofy or extra handsome (no inbetween)

He is the one who takes your hand in his, putting your intertwined hands into the pocket of his jacket/coat or pants whenever the weather is a bit too chilly; Johnny always wanting to keep you warm, sharing his warmth and looking after you with the most gentlest touches

Backhugs are his forte, always approaching behind you and placing his chin on your shoulder or the top of your head while comfortably snuggled up behind you; Johnny’s strong arms surrounding your waist, his taller body always shrinking in your presence as he whispers in your ear when conversing with you

He gets distracted by you too easily! He is a huge baby when it comes with you, always having his attention on you like you are his entire world; unfortunately, many members had became thirdwheels because Johnny is solely focused on you, his attention laid upon the world or perhaps the entire universe

Long facetime calls with him! please gossip with him, that man LIVES for the tea; Johnny loves hearing about you regardless how “uninteresting” it may be and he tends to remember details, at times the members would pop up to join the gossip or jokingly gag whenever the two of you become lovey dovey (spoiler alert it’s Haechan)

!! Taeyong .

Matching outfits? YES! He loves it so much when the two of you have matching clothing or coordinate with one another; Taeyong is willing to try out anything, always hyping you up whenever you feel insecure - of course, he is willing to try out new styles and is always open-minded about your choices

Probably steals your clothing as much as you steal his - oh, you are missing a crop top? He is showing up in it with a sheepish smile on his face, saying he didn’t think he would like it so much; don’t worry Taeyong always returns it and takes extra care of them, he even cleans them after using it!

LOVES when you hold his face in your hands, your gentle caresses and the ability to make him melt whenever you softly speak to him of sweet nothing; Taeyong could see the love in your eyes, his heart racing every time you gently speak and touch him - he feels like he is the luckiest man alive, knowing he has you

He either knows or does not know about those couple tiktok challenges or pranks, he definitely stumbled across some of them because he is a tiktok enjoyer; even if he knows, you shouldn’t try! Taeyong loves to play along and he would convince you that he didn’t know until the very end, always laughing at your reaction

Always has you accompanying him at the dance practice room whenever you are free, he is dancing to his heart’s content in the presence of the love of his life; Taeyong loves praise from you and has a passion for dancing, he is showing off and seeking your validation as he always feels the most loved with you

Writing raps or lyrics dedicated to you, whether you know it’s about you or not; Taeyong is a very productive songwriter, he feels most comfortable with music and is more than willing to show his deep love for you - reminding you that you will always be his inspiration and biggest motivator

Quiet nights where you hold him, playing with his hair and letting all the stress of being leader for NCT is laid to rest; the two of you would share deep conversations, softly speaking to one another and Taeyong is in serenity with you - he is willing to share all the stress and the future with you, promising to keep you by his side until the very end

 !! Yuta .

He enjoys jewelry and whether you like it or not, he is getting custom matching rings, earrings, etc. with you! He definitely bought Howl and Sofia’s rings from Howl Moving Castle for the two of you to wear; it’s easy to please Yuta with any type of jewelry, always showing them off with a prideful, bright smile

Gives you his jewelry and clothes! He even recommends you what to wear, always wanting to see you confident and in high spirits with your beauty; Yuta is willing to learn to do your makeup or hair, becoming your personal stylist as he wants you to see what he sees whenever he lays eyes on you - the most beautiful person, he loves dearly

LOVES to call your name whenever you are busy, watching you turn to him and he lightly pokes your cheek or the tip of your nose; Yuta is smiling brightly at your surprised reaction, adoring your expression while his heart skips a beat whenever you smile back at him

Speaks to you in his mother tongue and it does not matter if you understand or not! He loves to tease you, speaking to you in phrases and smirking at your confused expression; most times, Yuta is laughing at you before calling you Japanese pet names in the most loving tone and giving you a chaste kiss to wipe away your confusion

Always wanting to hold your hand and even if he has stuff in his hands, he is still lending out a hand for you to take; Yuta can be quite pushy with it too, always wanting his hand interlocked with yours and he is always getting what he wants to let the idea of you being his prosper

Whenever you compliment him, he is willing to compliment you back; somehow, Yuta has many unspoken words for you and he is sharing them all with you, revealing how infatuated he is with you and how much he cherishes you - good luck, he is not one to back down so easily either as the two of you would have a compliment battle

The type to distract you with kisses or words of love or a random adventure whenever you feel down; Yuta is always taking care of you, treating you like you are the most fragile jewel he possesses - he would never let you forget how much you are loved and cherished, always making you smile to look like the most prized treasure

!! Doyoung .

Your interests are his also! Are you hyperfixated on something? That’s okay, he is encouraging it and possibly making it worse; Doyoung is incredibly supportive of you, willing to learn whatever your interests are and even joins you for a new experience! He believes that you will teach him many new things, as he appreciates every moment shared with you

Matching keychains is a must and he loves those cute ones where the two of you can match, but it’s different colors - at times, he loves to switch stuffed animals with you or he would give you HIS plushies just so you don’t miss him too much when he’s gone/busy; Doyoung wants you to know that he is there, no matter the distance!

LOVES leaving notes for you, his pretty handwriting always speaking to you on a random post-it yet somehow those very same words convey so much love for you; Doyoung likes to compliment you in these notes and hoping for you to have a good day, reminding you that he is a message/call away if needed

His sweater paws always being placed on your face, a smile of pure adoration radiating his face with a love-filled gaze meeting your own; Doyoung loves to slowly lean forward when holding the most precious upon his palms, his forehead resting against yours with no words to spare - his expression is enough to show how much he loves you

He tends to have sleepless nights the day before meeting you again! He is thinking of the many things to say and what to do when he sees you; usually, his plans don’t follow through, as Doyoung is engulfing in your arms and holding onto you like the world had ended for a moment for him

Doyoung’s fight or fight mode triggers whenever he is with the Neos, unfortunately you are dragged into the drama also and he expects you to defend him like you are his knight in shining armor; if you side with the other Neos, he is a sulky bunny and giving you silent treatment until you give him a kiss on his pouty lips

Has a habit of checking if anything is out of line before you step out of the house or if you have any crumbs on your face after a meal; Doyoung stands close to you, leaning forward to inspect closely while gently brushing off any crumbs with his thumb or fixing your clothes/hair - he is smiling fondly at you, telling how beautiful you are after

!! Jaehyun .

The type to rest a hand on you whenever he accompanies you, it’s a very subtle yet gentle touch and it’s one of those habits you may not notice at first; Jaehyun has a protective instinct of guiding you through a crowd or keeping you close to him, always by your side whether you are aware or not

Sends goofy photos or videos of himself, especially when first waking up in the morning or after a busy schedule; Jaehyun’s hair is usually messed up in most of those photos or he looks like some life was drained from him, it’s definitely a treat to receive first thing in the morning or throughout the day

LOVES to playfully wrestle with you or chase you around, the two of you having those childish moments where laughter and endless smiles are shared; Jaehyun enjoys these moments very much, his own heart in content and every worry forgotten whenever he is with you

Whenever you aren’t looking, he is fondly looking at you with a smile full of endearment when watching you; whether it is the most normalest thing or you doing some happy dance when eating good food, Jaehyun’s gaze is softening each time and is thinking how lucky he has to have you as his

He melts every time you run your fingers through his hair or stroke his head, something about the gesture is so comforting and he is always leaning into your touch similar to a feline wanting to be petted; Jaehyun is always comforted by you, this spell you have on him addictive

Borrows your lip balm or chapstick and he has no specific reason why he does it; Jaehyun seems to like the things you carry for skincare, seeming to borrow them or even use them himself - he also likes to have you apply it on his lips, then he has this dorky smile before kissing you with his soft lips

Listen to those R&B songs together, listening to his collection of records, he likes to pull you into his arms and dance with you in the middle of the room; Jaehyun is holding onto you in a gentle grasp, the two of you swaying along the melody as you both lost yourselves to the music

!! Jungwoo .

Sassy boyfriend babygirl and he loves to be a smartass when around you, something about seeing your buttons being pressed makes him wanna act up; Of course, he never takes it too far but we all know he will litter your face with kisses in apology if he does

Encourages and joins you on self care days! Those days where the two of you spend a spa day together or he is joining you for your skincare routine while eating snacks and watching movies; Jungwoo loves his baby pampered and he loves to be pampered also! He will definitely treat the two of you to a royal treatment, as you both deserve it

LOVES to tease you by purposely ignoring you until you call him by a cute pet name, he simply refuses to listen to you when you call him by his name; Jungwoo wants to hear your endearment dripping from every pet name, the bright smile on his face worth it in the end every single time

He has a huge appetite which means he is willing to eat whatever you don’t want to eat! He reminds you to eat something, even if it’s a small snack or meal; Jungwoo finds food important, he is incredibly supportive and is willing to eat any of your portions so you don’t feel too bad

Has blackmail on the other Neos and definitely shares them with you, he loves to tease the other members (especially Doyoung and Jaehyun) and you are expected to join his mischief; expect random photos or videos from Jungwoo of the other Neos, you are his best friend and lover - he is not treating those titles any less

Has those cheesy cute “My girlfriend/boyfriend *heart emoji*” or whatever on your contact info and he gets all pouty when you don’t meet his energy; Jungwoo wants to show you are his and he is yours! He definitely has matching couple ideas, and he loves to make sure his contact is revealing that he is no ordinary person in your life

Has the ability to know when you are upset or feeling down, he is the type to walk up to you and hug you; Jungwoo gives one of the best hugs and he is holding you tightly, placing a gentle hand on your head while you rest against his chest - no questions asked, use him until all your worries/tears are gone

[tf2yuri]

18,9,26 for whoever you feel like!

9. When they're sick what do they do to feel better?

solaris stays the fuck innn he does not tolatate going to work & such while sick. then he'll get himself a nice warm glass of milk, shut all the blinds & take a long nap. no one hears a damn thing from him when hes sick, both so he doesnt risk infecting anyone, and because he has lower tolerance for people when hes unwell.

18. How easy is it to become their enemy?

duke is like. so fucking chill man. his bullshit tolerance levels are up the roof, tending to chalk up most bad behavior to having a bad day. the vast majority of people he either likes or is at least neutral to, but if he hates someone, he REALLY hates them. so no, its most definitely not easy to be this guys enemy

26. Have they met any of their heroes? Did they regret it?

i wasnt entirely sure how to interpret this one to be honest, so ill use 'hero' to refer to a person who is admired by someone in their life.

with that aside, xavier really admires solaris - his confidence, his refusal to tolerate bullshit, his snarky comebacks. how he stands up for anyone he thinks is being wronged. xavier feels like some pushover nobody compared to him. he cant even stand up for himself, let alone others. solaris seems like he has it all figured out (spoiler alert: he absolutely does not), so xavier looks up to him as this cool adult figure. so to answer the question, xavi does know his hero & hes grateful to have him as a friend . or something

[neocrush]

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

[therealmilfdennys]

Can you do a cute harkrill fanfic 🥺👉👈

absolutely i love both of these little scrumckles so much this is less shippy than I wanted it to be but it was...very long already and I wanted to get it posted lol so here ya go :)

slight spoilers for peacemaker and the suicide squad

abner krill/digger harkness - abner and digger are both pining and emotionally unwell :)

Abner didn’t know what it was like to have friends. Task Force X was the closest he’d been to anyone in almost twenty years and even then he wasn’t sure that could be considered ‘friendship’. He was only ever ‘close’ with his mother, and with a little therapy he realized that wasn’t healthy at all. He did meet Digger there though, and Digger was his friend. After Leota’s Press Release, Belle Reve was put under serious investigation, headed by Leota herself. After intense assessment, some inmates were found stable enough to be put back out into the world on parole, under the watchful eye of the few people who were trustworthy under Waller’s employ. Abner was amongst these few inmates, as was Digger. 

It was Abner’s accidental over sharing that drew George in to begin with. The dark haired man had a bad habit of letting out dark little bits of his past and sometimes present life in casual conversation. It never failed to make Digger snort and chuckle amused, always huffing a “Crikey mate.” In response. His reaction always caused Abner’s cheeks to flush red. Making the man nervous was no difficult feat, he was a skittish little thing by nature. Something about the (handsome) Aussie being so amused and not frightened by his comments made Abner all…warm on the inside. George didn’t share much in their mandatory group therapy sessions, not that anyone who knew him expected him to. He was often cocky, arms crossed, leaned back in his chair, legs spread, posture the perfect sign of composure. He never let a single emotion through other than pride and confusion as to why he was mandated to be there. There were days though, were he was unusually cold, distant. He would snark and snap at anyone who spoke to him, eyes like ice. Abner wasnt a fan of those days.

On the other hand, Abner shared too much in group. Shared his troubles with his mother and his kiling of her (and his acceptance of that fact). He shared his troubles with eating and his alien disease, going into great detail each time. Explained his trouble with relationships and sex and identity. He had something new and interesting each week, a new little tale and rant about how it affected him from the week. He was never trying to get pity for it, never vying for someones attention. He just genuinely thought that was what group was for. (When in reality it was basically used as a check in to show they hadn’t had an criminal activity).

Digger always listened intently to Abner's little tangents, enamored with the other man's view on the world. He wished he could be that open, he wished he could express his feelings so freely, without fear of ridicule. Or maybe Abner didn’t ‘not’ fear ridicule per se, maybe it was that he accepted and expected it. Abner’s long fingers curled around the foam cup of decaf so graciously provided by the justice systems therapy group. The bitter liquid rippled as he breathed into it, surveying the room from his spot in the uncomfortable metal folding chairs they were given. He watched other convicts shuffle in, not quite nervous, but alert, always waiting for something to pop up and fuck up his day. Diggers booming laugh was heard before the man himself could be seen, and it made Abner’s chest squeeze fondly, his cheeks warming on instinct. Prison didn’t suit George, not that it suited much of anyone, but George was much better suited for outside the walls of that filthy place. He cleaned up surprisingly well, even if all he wore were wife beaters and sweats 90% of the time. He was meticulous in keeping up his hair, his skin, and his beard. He had jewelry that always looked freshly polished. He held himself confidently. He was ridiculously handsome. He made Abner's knees weak and his chest tingly. Digger caught his eyes and Abner flushed deeper. “Oh hello, there Pokey me boy! How’s we doin’ today eh?” He gruffed, plopping down in the folding chair next to Abner with a grunt. He was chewing gum, Abner briefly wondered what flavor was his favorite. “I’m as good as I can be I guess.” He mumbled in response, shrugging a bit, taking another sip of his coffee. In truth, he had a nice week. By Abner standards at least. He didn’t die. The blonde man grinned, head rolling to the side so he could watch the side of Abner’s face. “Well, that’s good then innit? Harls was at mine all week so I’m worn OUT.” He stated, sucking his teeth. Abner was almost jealous, before remembering Harley was very much in a committed relationship and very much a lesbian. Before he could stop himself he blurted. “You never invite me over.” Instantly his face was scorching, eyes on the cup in his lap, wide and unblinking. Digger smiled much more sincerely, his cheeks warming. “Oh yeah? Didn’t know you’d want to spend personal time with me, Pokey. Thought we were strictly pr’ffesional n’all that.” He teased gently. George was many things but evil certainly wasn’t one of them. He knew Pokey was a bit sensitive at times and tried not to push too hard. Abner coughed softly. “I uh, I just. I’ve never really had a..friend? I guess? Not that I consider you one unless we are? I mean I don’t know.” He huffed, seemingly frustrated with his own fumbling. “I’ve wanted to..hang out..ya know? I’ve wanted to ask, just scared I’m a bit boring for your….tastes, I guess.” He explained, gesturing wildly with one hand while still refusing to meet George’s eyes. The Aussie on the other hand was grinning like a mad man, gold tooth glinting in the harsh fluorescent light. “Nah mate, think you’re the farthest from boring. Coolest thing I know how to do is pick real fancy locks yeah? You know physics and shit.” He reassured, smacking Abner's leg in good faith. Abner's face split in a shy grin, a soft chuckle leaving him. “I couldn’t pick a lock if I tried, shaky hands.” He showed, raising a hand to show slightly trembly fingers. Digger surveyed his hand for a moment, kissing the backs of his teeth. “Nah I could teach ya, you’re talking to a pro here. A real legend mate. Fact, that's what we’ll do. You can come to mine after yeah? I’ll teach you a few tricks of the trade.” He questioned, looking genuinely excited, much to Abner's (pleasant) surprise. With a smile, Abner nodded just as the therapist walked in to start their session. Digger knocked his booth with Abners, and all Abner could think for the whole hour was ‘I finally have a real friend.’

[toadkisses]

alistairs years in review continued

when we left off, i had quit my job because it sucked and i was having some real mental health struggles because of it. at this point in the story, i am still unemployed and living at home. spoiler alert, at the time of writing this, i am ALSO still unemployed and living at home! but a lot happened in between these two unemployment bits so let us continue.

in may of 2021, my irl friends and i got together for the first time since february of 2020. i was glad to see them of course, and especially glad to see rose, since i had been wanting to talk to her.

we had all regularly voice called on discord, often for multiple hours at a time at least 3 nights a week. and during that time, i became more and more aware of some romantic tension between rose and myself.

rose and i met in high school, when i was a junior and she was a senior. well, we actually met two years prior, in an art class. but that only sort of counts because we were both too shy to talk to each other even though we were the only ones at our table. this is somewhat prophetic now that i think about it.

anyway! rose and i had mutual friends, so when we ate together at lunch or hung out before the first bell, so off the bat i just assumed that meant we were friends too, haha. rose remembers liking the frog i would bring with me to school every day. we did wind up getting along well, and stayed in touch even after i wound up being moved to homeschooling like i did every school year, and after she graduated.

in 2019, we watched lord of the rings along with another friend. and it made me start thinking about being transmasc, and made her start thinking that maybe she liked men, and wasnt a lesbian. we held each other and cried while frodo and sam lay there on mount doom and our third friend asked what was happening to the hobbits.

unbeknownst to me, rose was planning on telling me that she had feelings for me in january of 2020, but some personal events made it so we didn’t actually see each other irl around then. and then of course, we didn’t see each other for another year because of the pandemic! my poor girlfriend. 😭

from my point of view, rose was my best friend who i thought was really pretty and funny and warm, and who i felt extra tenderly towards. she was the stable presence i really needed during the aforementioned irl events. sometimes i would accidentally think about us having sex, but then i’d shove it out of my head because it seemed a little rude to imagine that with my best friend! and if i felt a little jealous and left out when she’d mention dating someone, then that just must be because i had never dated anyone myself and felt left out!

i very occasionally had crushes on people in middle and high school, but never pursued them. not to get too deep into my backstory, but i am not familiar with being somebody’s favorite person or first choice, even among friends. im familiar with being sexually harassed, but not with someone being actually romantically interested in me with good intentions. all this to explain that i had no experience acting on romantic feelings or even how to really identify them.

but after hundreds of hours of voice calls, i did start to have an inkling that rose might have feelings for me. stuff like how she has never been a fan of dogs, but she mentioned how she’d be willing to get along with them if the person she was with liked them, etc. and it made want to figure out how i felt about her.

i have journal entries from this time that i’ve shown her where i talk about how i didn’t know how to tell what i was feeling, but that i was concerned about if we dated, what if i would be using her to figure myself out? which concerned me because she’s my very dear precious friend and i would never want to hurt her if i figured out “no actually im not interested in women, thanks for helping me learn that!”

i knew i needed to talk to her though when, as a group, we all compared star sign compatibility. and of course someone made the joke that whoever had the best compatibility had to start dating! and wouldn’t you know, rose and i had a STELLAR (haha) chart!

like im not super into astrology but check it. anyway i could tell that she was a little flustered so i knew i needed to talk to her because i didnt want her to be anxious.

and about a week later, we all had our vaccinations and some of us finally met up irl. i have very detailed journal entries about this day because i knew it would be something i’d want to have later in my life. i sat next to rose at the coffee shop we went to, was very pleased that she rode next to me in my car, we broke off from the group and walked around the craft store together. and i was glad when she asked me to drop her off last, since i knew we could talk then.

and once everyone else had been ferried home, i parked in her driveway and she told me she had an ulterior motive for asking to be dropped off last, and she wanted to talk to me! perfect as i’d been hoping for the same thing.

and she mentioned lord of the rings and the revelations we had at the time, and that she had feelings for me, but it’s okay if i don’t return them. and i got emotional because “i don’t know how i feel but i wish i did so i could be with you”. of course, i now know that wishing you knew what romantic feelings were so you could date someone is an indication of romantic feelings!

she was really really kind and patient and understanding. and she said that if i wound up not feeling the same, it would be okay, because she loves me and loves being my friend. which of course made me feel really loved and i suggested we try kissing and see how it feels! and we did like five quick little pecks and laughed and i was still like “i don’t want to take advantage of you” and she encouraged me to think a little and we could see each other the following day and visit.

we talked more on voice chat with everyone later that night and were all giddy, i asked a different friend for advice in private. and the next day i went over to her house where it was just the two of us alone in the house, to watch one of our mutual favorite movies, THE PRINCESS BRIDE, which in retrospect is a VERY romantic movie for people who have not confirmed that they’re dating yet.

our expectations going into this were very different though, quite humorously. rose was preoccupied with making sure i didn’t feel like she was expecting me to have sex with her, because she’d never want to pressure me or make me uncomfortable. i went over thinking that the plan was that we would have sex, and was happy about this proposed activity.

and after the movie we had a little conversation about what we were comfortable with, and did wind up being intimate. which honest to god still makes me a little teary because it was my first time and it was such a gift to feel so safe and happy and cared for, i love this woman so much.

and after that was when we decided yes, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. 💖

we were very sappy and unbearable! and still are, i suppose. :-) spoilers, but the 12 months that follow are ones that i could very well call the worst year of my life; except i cant, because they also had some of the best parts of my life so far because of her. 💖💖💖

it’s been really fun because i will think like “i love her so much i can’t possibly love her more”, and then time will pass and our relationship evolves more and i find that i CAN love her even more.

i have an amy lowell poem i really like that expresses the change from like exciting but still nervous to familiar but no less adoring

When you came, you were like red wine and honey, / And the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness. / Now you are like morning bread, / Smooth and pleasant. / I hardly taste you at all for I know your savour, / But I am completely nourished.

we’ve gone on road trips and adventures together near and far. sharing things with her is the biggest joy in my life. my world is bigger with her in it. for the first time i am excited about what the future holds because i know she will be a part of it. she supports me when i need her and encourages me to support myself at the same time. i love making food or tea for her, or finding little gifts that i hope will delight her. i love when she falls asleep in my arms. i love doing her hair while we watch something and comment our thoughts and opinions back and forth. she makes me riotously happy.

i have not mentioned anything publicly, and i still don’t intend to give any details, but nine months ago we lost someone who was very, very, very dear to us in a very upsetting way. earth shattering is the closest words can come to describing it. in my very worst times i have wondered how grief like this is survivable, both literally and figuratively. but even when i was at the lowest i have ever been, when i felt like all i’ve ever done is tread water and am ready to just slip under; she’s been a rock on a sandbar. i can rest with her, i can find strength to keep swimming. i adore her.

she’s my favorite person.

next installment will include my hrt diaries and dreadful medical saga!

[waitimcomingtoo]

WOTTT (OH SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 4 VOL 2 )

they killed off eddie!!!!!!!! how can you say it wasnt sad i was sobbing so hard like eddie is the love of my life :(((

I know this is an unpopular opinion but I didn’t care about Eddie 😭 it takes me a min to warm up to newbies and I just never liked him. I knew he was gonna be a one season character so his death didn’t surprise me. But my heart broke for Dustin 💙

[hello-yue-here]

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

[jacks-old-account]

okay so at the request of my dear friend bee ( @bangchan-fairy ) i will be telling the story of how i stole a chicken from my highschool :)

okay so. it was in like,,, the beginning of the school year. i was like,, a sophomore (second year) i think? maybe a freshman? im not sure. first or second year of highscool.

it was like,,, around 10 am and i was hanging out in my art class. and my teacher gets a phone call from the agriculture teacher upstairs. she cups the reciever to her shoulder and yells out to us, “The agriculture class is selling chickens. would any of you like to go upstairs and get one?”

obviously, a fuck ton of us stand up, me included. we’re all so hyped because we’re going to buy a baby chicken from our school.

most of us contact our parents and most of our parents say that its okay. me, on the other hand, hadn’t even met my adoptive parents yet so i end up calling my birth mother. we’ll call her J for now. she answers the phone and i can immediately tell ive woken her up from the tone of her voice. and since she’s still not fully awake, i take my chance to ask her if i can get a chicken. as i had suspected she would, she says no and then continued on to yell at me for asking such a stupid question.

spoiler alert: i did not listen to J.

so i lie to my art teacher and tell her that J had said it was okay. and so i head upstairs with the rest of my fellow chicken enthusiasts. we walk into the classroom to see that the actual agriculture teacher isnt even there, but a substitute is sitting at her desk. none of us think anything of it and everyone starts to hand her their money in exchange for their chicken.

now, idk if you guys know this. but i am very tiny. always have been. and i was also poor. like. “couldnt afford to pay the electricity bill” poor. but that didnt mean i wasnt smart. (or maybe it did depending on how you want to view my actions) so. i proceed to sneak my way through the crowd of students and grab a box. and a chicken. and then i leave the room.

when everyone gets back into the art room, my art teacher realizes that we absolutely cannot keep these chickens all throughout the school day. so we are all forced to take our chickens back upstairs and leave them there, with our names on the boxes until the end of the day.

flash forward to the end of the school day, im about to walk out of the building with my two best friends, we’ll call them Quartz and Barrett. im v determined to be able to keep my chicken so i ask them for help. we head up to the agriculture room and the lights are off. all aside from the heat lamps keeping the chickens warm. so. Quartz and Barrett stay at the door. and i grab my box. and my chicken. and i hand the box to Barrett because dont want to be running with the chicken bouncing around in the box. and we all three fucking book it down from the second floor out to our busses.

im clutching my chicken to my chest and i run past the assistant principal. he just gives me a smile as im running towards my bus. Barrett gives me my box and i hop on the bus. i still have no clue as to why the bus driver let me on the bus with a live animal.

i head to the back of the bus. and everyone is so so excited to see my chicken, who still hasnt been named btw. and then someone looks at me, confusion written across their face and they say, “how did you convince them to let you take it home? no one was supposed to keep their chickens and they were supposed to get their money back”

and i go fucking insane. im freaking out. not only did i get this chicken without J’s concent, i also didnt pay for it and wasnt even supposed to have taken it in the first place. when i get home. i bring the chicken into the apartment i live in with my family. and my siblings fall in love. they all three love it so much. but J? J goes fucking insane, she’s so unbelievably pissed off at me. so to avoid getting myself into further trouble, i contact an acquaintance of mine and offer to let them have it. we meet up. and i give them the chicken.

the next day, i walk into school. and then as soon as class starts i get called into the principal’s office. and im panicking the whole way down there. i walk into her office and i see her and the real agriculture teacher sitting there. and they tell me that they know i took the chicken.

the agriculture teacher was so sweet about it though, i didnt get in any trouble at all. she just wanted to ask me how the chicken was doing. the principal made a joke about putting wanted posters up for me in the hallways. and from then up until i moved away, people knew me as “The Chicken Thief” and asked me about the chicken all the time.

i still dont,,, know where it is. or how it’s doing. but i hope it’s doing well.

[kyber-kisses]

Long Gone

(Gif not mine, credit goes to owner)

Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: The Avengers Endgame trailer kind of killed me, as did angsty sad boi Steve so I felt inspired to write this.

Warnings: Slight IW spoilers? Angst. might be a little cheesy

Summary: When Y/N went missing a year before Thanos arrival Steve Rogers broke. His teammate and the person he held most dear was gone and he was never able to find her. Everything changes after the snap. What happens when a mysterious figure enters the compound and changes Steves life all over again?

  Steve should have told you. God he should have told you how he felt. He should have done it long ago. So why didn't he? It was obvious: Fear. How could someone as brilliant and beautiful as you ever understand and care for a man as broken as him? Steve Rogers was a great deal of things but a romantic partner was not one of them. He had nothing to give and with you, god with you all he wanted to do was hand you the world.

When you disappeared months before the Name Thanos ever reached the Avengers Steve was distraught. He went against Nat and Sam and tried desperately to find you, but around each corner was another dead end. And when Thanos reached earth and wiped out half of all life, that's when Steve really lost all sense of hope. If he couldn't find you then, he sure as hell wouldn't be able to find you now.

That was 3 years ago. 3 years, 17 days, 12 minutes, and 34 seconds since Steve last laid eyes you. Your beautiful y/e/c eyes, and bright smile. Not to mention your laugh. God your laugh made his heart swell. There was no doubt that Steven Grant Rogers was utterly in-love with you. Nothing could ever break that, not even your absence.

Steves head hung low as he sat at the kitchen counter in the Avengers compound, a now cold cup of coffee held between his calloused hands. His eyes drowning in the brown liquid that was being held in your favorite mug. He did this often and it broke his remaining team-members hearts.

Nat leaned against the doorway, taking in the state of her dear friend. She could see that all hope and life had slowly drained from the Captains eyes.

“Steve, you really should get some sleep.” she spoke up, slowly stepping into the dimly lit room. Without tearing his eyes away from his fixed point in the mug the once mighty super-soldier spoke up.

“Whats the point Nat? Even if I try ill just wake up to nightmares a few hours later.”

Nat walked around the counter to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Steve, y/n wouldnt want you to be wallowing in your guilt like this.”

Steves grip on your mug tightened to the point of his knuckles turning white.

“Well Y/n not here, is she Nat? If she was she would be exactly the same way, do you want to know why? Because we failed. We vowed to protect the earth and its people and we failed. And the cost? The cost was half of all life, not just here but across the universe.”

She could see the tears forming in Steves blue eyes, and for the life of her she couldn't find the right words to say. She had always seen the way Steve looked at you, and to be honest she had never seen a person more in-love. You were his backbone, his crutch as he was yours. Natasha Romanoff wouldnt dare tell Steve Rogers what you felt towards him because she knew it would just break him more and she knew it was your secret to tell. As she tried to find something to say, her thoughts were interrupted by a shrilling beeping sound echoing down the corridor. Her hand fell away from his shoulder as both head shot upwards.

Before either of them could register their movements, both of them were dashing down the hallway towards the noise. The sound led them back to the lab in which they found Bruce hunched over a computer.

“Banner what is it?” Steve stalked forward towards the scientist who pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose.

“Its the perimeter sensors. One of them went off on the east side of the building.”

Steve and Natasha shared a look before turning heel and leaving, but before they could pass through the doorway, Bruce was stopping them.

“Woah, woah, woah we have no idea what passed through the perimeter. We need to be careful.”

Nat turned to look her friend in the eyes.

“No offense Bruce but weve gone up against an numerous alien armies as well as a robot one. I think Steve and I can handle whatever this is.” Before the duo could even let Bruce respond they were already walking down the hallway.

As they walked through the compound towards the front doors, Steve, for the first time since the snap took notice in how different the place he had lived so many years in felt. In the beginning it was full of light, and life. It was full of energy. But now, now it was cold and eerie. It was deathly quiet. The remaining members all had their quarters in the west wing of the compound. It was the only place where the lights were used. No one could bring themselves to enter the rest of the compound, it only brought back memories of their fallen friends and team-mates. So the electricity was shut off and they ignored those areas as if the ghosts of their friends still stalked the halls and lounges.

This was the first time in a long time Steve was truly alert and aware of all of his surroundings. He always jumped at any chance to distract himself from the memories of you that plagued his mind all hours of the day.

Natasha pushed open the set of doors in front of them that led to what you had always called the lobby.as they entered, they stopped dead in their tracks. Even though the lights were off, the natural light from outside filtered in through the once shining floor to ceiling windows. The sky outside was overcast and a light rain beat down against the glass. But that's not what called their attention.

A figure stood inside the lobby, back turned to them and eyes presumably scanning the skies. An umbrella was placed delicately against their shoulder as their other hand rested at their side. Steve could tell the figure was a woman due to her subtle curves and small hands. The woman’s trench coat was a deep black. So dark it almost felt like it was sucking Steve in.

They didnt have to make a sound for the woman to slowly turn around and lock eyes with Steve. It was as if everything went into slow motion. It was you. Y/n y/l/n the greatest love of Steves life, and the missing piece of his heart.

Steve was frozen in place, his eyes taking you in and seeing how you had changed. Your hair was darker... and shorter, maybe a little choppy. he wanted to move, but he was frozen. Frozen with fear and shock. finally your name came tumbling out of the super soldiers lips.

“Y/n?”

At the sound of your name, the pain in your face melted away and was replaced with a warming smile that spread across your features. You let out a sigh, knowing your mind wasnt playing tricks.

“Steve.”

And then you were rushing forward with tears in your eyes, wanting nothing more than to feel him. As you did Steve stepped into a sprint, running toward you. And then you were there. Diving into his arms and wrapping yours around his neck. His arms winding around your waist as you both fell to your knees. As you buried your face in his neck, you could feel his tears on your skin. You inhaled. He still smelled the same. coffee and his tea tree shampoo.

You could have stayed like that forever but you didnt. You pulled away from Steve, looking into his eyes. Doing so made you tear up again. He looked so worn. He looked tired. Steve placed his hands on the side of your face, brushing away the stray tears with his thumbs.

“Oh my god, I thought I lost you. I thought you were dead.” his voice quaked as tears kept falling. “Your alive.”

“Yeah Steve, im alive. Im here now.” You rubbed your hands against the back of his neck, calming him.

“I never told you.” He continued, “ I never told you how in-love I am with you. I never told you how much you mean to me. How ever since I met you, you have been my home.”

You froze, your mind in complete shock. Steven Grant Rogers loved you?

You reacted quickly, leaning forward and smashing your lips against his. He was stunned for a moment before you felt his lips move against yours in sync. He tasted like peppermint. You pulled away to look at the brilliant man in front of you.

“I love you too.”

Part 2?

[icouldbeyourcwn]

Midnight+ Thoughts: Part One(?)

This is literally random things I feel like typing. This is another way to learn about my personality and who I am.

I apologize to anyone who actually reads this.

You know I think in a way, my sister and I matured and grew up so much quicker than others. Because we didn't have the most stable childhood. I think because of this, my sister and I learned things and valued what should be valued.

Honestly think I went through my rebel/sad stage starting from 4th grade ending somewhere in the first bit of 6th grade.

People don't understand that they're pessimistic because they refuse to notice good things. They pay attention to the horrible things. Spoiler alert. I've been emotionally abused and haven't had the best childhood?? Spoiler alert #2. I'm one of the happiest people ever??? wHAT

I haven't owned a cat in four years. Last cat I saw was my friends cats. Which was about a year ago. I miss cats..

Some group of guys were pushing eachother and messing around. One of them was pushed onto me as I leaned down to access my locker. I almost apologized to them. I almost actually apologized I--

One thing: I was told by my choir teacher to get more sleep because of the festival thing tomorrow. I don't think I listened. If I did, I would've gone to sleep about four hours ago.

I can't believe people some times. Like not even in shows but in real life drama shite. Two groups and/or people get into a fight. Each having different opinions. People watching decide which one is right and which is wrong. What I don't think they understand. Is that fact that there is NO right or wrong. Just two different opinions. If they would discuss it and hear eachother out instead of jumping to conclusions. They'd both realize they're not as evil as they seem.

I appreciate getting noticed and completely ignored. Not because I'm an attention seeker, but because I was never given enough recognition in my past. I've always been that one barely noticeable person. When I talk while with a group of people, they don't notice, or give me any recognition. So I usually keep all the small things to myself and roll around in my thoughts. Alone. But I always feel happy when I'm appreciated and noticed. I love knowing that people recognize I'm there.

I don't know how to communicate, or at least start communication, with other flesh bags. Because I wasn't shown how by my parents. My mom sucks at communicating properly with others, and my dad was never able to communicate with his ex-gf(Tiffany) before she left. Which was two years before we lost the house and I moved in with my mom. But I was never shown how to talk to others so. I learn over time and mostly suck at it... Especially when I try too hard >.> cause then I'm just awkward.

Have you ever felt tempted to put to the test if you bought a bunch of fish. Put them in a small tank or something. Then kill them all, and see how many float and how many sink after their doom? No? Just me? Kay-

I just remembered how I get apple cider and donuts tomorrow morning in GSA. AND that time in GSA makes up for me leaving early and being unable to talk with my girlfriend for 3-4 extra minutes giving her a hug and leaving for my bus. Because we go to GSA together.

You know what I love? Hugs-- and food, friends, art, books, writing, nature, animals, GOD the list goes on. But I meant to talk about hugs. I like hugging my friends because, and not to sound weird, but a familiar smell is comforting and hugging my friends is so warm and in a way fluffy and I love it!

I'm on 13? God do I feel bad for anyone who decides to read this. Sorry, I literally have no friends to talk to at this time, spoiler alert. It's 01:09.

I called my dad and his current girlfriend(Kris) children on accident once. I ofc explained that I call everyone a child at least once. But I just started realizing that, it could've been taken slightly offensively, even though it obviously wasnt, but. They could've easily at least felt a little bad about it. Because, I'm supposed to be his daughter, and. I had just bought them syrup they didn't have money for, along with candy for mainly my sister and I, but also for them. So I legitimately could've been super rude if I wasn't so nice about things lmaoz

My muscles are tired and I forgot to eat dinner.

Y'know, Tiffany(dad ex-gf, the aboosive one) didn't treat me right during the time she lived with us. Not only because she was abusive, maybe she didn't realize she was abusive and maybe she did, who cates? But it was also because she probably didn't know how to recognize signs of ADHD. So the things I messed up on, because of my severe ADHD. She just blamed it on my person. owo

I remember. We had 6 cats when Tiffany lived with us. Two were hers the other 4 were ours before she lived with us. When she left. Hear this. When she left, she took all the cats except for two. One of the ones she left. Were one of the cats SHE owned. The other cat she left, was everyone's least favorite-- Except for me. That cat was my favorite. The cat literally hated everyone, but she loved me, in her own special way, and only just barely tolerated my dad.

About my favorite cat!! Laney/Lainey. I'm using Laney just because idk which one. There was this one time that she disappeared for a few days(?). I had thought she somehow escaped and ran away. So while I was sobbing my darn eyes out over losing my favorite cat, my dad and sister were searching every corner of the house to find her. My dad found Laney-- In my damn closet!! And he brought her to me, and put her on my lap, and I started crying MORE LMAO. But it was happy tears this time.

I think my not having glasses for months when I 100% need glasses. Has caused my eyes to get at least 10% worse. Because each day my vision gets worse. I will be blessed the day we finally go and get everyone's eyes checked. Which my mom says will be soon, but shes not great at keeping her word lol.

I told myself I'd stop at 20 so- I'll probably save part 2 for tomorrow night. Maybe I should start doing this daily. People will probably not read them but it was fun af. This shall become a series-- but how tf will I keep track of them- anyway goodbye. Its 1:26 but I'll probably go to sleep in about 35 minutes.

Ps. That probably for some reason auto corrected to "porn sky"

Goodbye!

[heloreeses]

Wentworth Thoughts

SPOILER ALERT!!! 1.) I watched wentworth thats why I wasnt on tumblr recently, and my latest concern is the writers trying to fucking break fridget. #PROTECTFRIDGET2k17 . What is it with television and the idea of a HAPPY GAY COUPLE like what the fuck is it really that hard to fucking maintain a fucking HEALTHY COUPLE. 2.) im still sad abt BALLIE but MOSTLY im devastated that BEA DIED UGH. Lol after finishing that season I cried. Tbh im scared of the writers more than Joan Ferguson. How could the writers be that cruel. I imagine them just sitting in a room and pitching ideas then one fucking person says "HoW about we make Bea happy again then take her happiness away and make her commit suicide( i mean its technically suicide she forced the screwdriver into her then joan just finishes the job) then when she is abt to die allie then lives? Eh?". Im not mad at them letting Bea die because its really in the original series, Im mad because when Bea was just beginning to feel alive again , she was just beginning to feel the feeling of love again then she fucking dies. ( did this made sense idk ) 3.) I like allie and franky friendship but i dont wnt it to develop to much more, being friends is good. 4.) the escape arc is stupid. 5.) unpopular opinion but i really like kaz proctor.(feminism way and GalPal™ way) although she was a bitch in season 4 but since the love and hate ep i kinda began to warm up to her 6.) to be honest idk what to say abt Joan anymore dat bitch is unkillable dafuck. 7.)I just want liz,maxine,vera, bridget,franky, will, boomer,the rich lady(i forgot her name) and allie to be happy(also doreen imy doreen) 8.) Jess looks like aubrey plaza 9.) Boomer is fucking hilarious 10.) liz is so fucking precious protect her at all costs 11.)I.MISS.BEA OVERALL REVIEW: tbh wentworth is a 1000/100 for me its a show that shows female dominance, good and evil alike. I love love love the diversity in the cast , lol i was suprised there were filipinos there, and the fact that the prison was trans inclusive (but sometimes discriminating) but then they accepted her eventually. The actors are fucking excellent not just the lead but ALL OF THEM. LIKE SERIOUSLY BETCH THEY ALL DESERVE A FUCKING OSCAR. YES A FUCKING OSCAR FIGHT ME. The storyline, the execution, the plot basically all of it ALL.OF.IT.IS.FUCKING.AMAZING. Its in my top 3 fav series evaaaah along with call the midwife. WATCH IT WATCH WATCH WATCH IT.