#spite and all that lol. hope my mutuals + anyone else reading this have a good night/day as well :)

[thisisvoided]

yknow they never tell you how exhausting it is having to listen/read ppl shit talk and be bigots

[bigskydreaming]

Just in general, and not actually prompted by one specific conversation as this is something I've noted for awhile, but speaking just for myself - unless I post something under a read more and with tags about just wanting to get something off my chest and not wanting it reblogged....anything and everything else I post I do so not with the EXPECTATION of engagement, but with an active interest IN that post being engaged with in various ways, from reblogging to actual commentary, etc.

I don't post just to hear myself talk or the written equivalent or whatever. I can post to private if that's what I need/want. Please don't ever feel like you need to be circumspect about reblogging something I've posted just because I've gotten personal or am discussing something sensitive. Even if I am, I've made the conscious choice to do so in public for my own reasons. I don't need or want to be protected from that, and that's actually usually contrary to my actual wants.

Again, this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but over the years I have noticed a tendency of people to unintentionally infantilize survivors, for example, who are willing to be forthcoming about not just their experiences but their reactions and feelings about various fandom behaviors towards and around survivors, and its actually not helpful when people choose not to reblog those posts if they're only doing so because they feel like they're trying to protect OP from backlash......we know we're going to get backlash. By the time we're making those posts, we've already gotten more backlash than you'll ever see, via tags on our posts or messages in our inboxes or vagueblogs from people that until the actual vagueblog we thought were mutuals we could trust.

We're usually making posts in SPITE of that, because like....we feel its worth it. As I said before, I personally don't have any expectations with any specific post I make ever, but I do make the posts I make with at least the HOPE that it might get people to think about something in ways they haven't before, or consider my POV or the possibility that my POV on a subject isn't actually what they thought or assumed it would be.

If something I post resonates with you, then respond to it or reblog it because it resonates with you or you feel like passing it along or whatever. That's literally all I ask with posts I make. I like to be very straightforward about what I'm thinking or want to say, because tumblr is an opt-in system and I trust people who follow me to make their own decisions about whether my content is worth following me for or not, at any given point. Trust me to make my own decision about whether I want to post certain content or not at any given point, and just make your decision about how to interact with it.

I think people have a mistaken impression about this based on how I've ranted about the whole Dont Like/Dont Read concept in the past. I'm going to reblog an old post that clarifies why I see that as something very different from this, that I'm genuinely not sure if most people ever saw or read, because I do know a lot of people follow me in spite of my stances on certain topics and don't actually....read everything I write on them, lol.

But my issue with the concept of Dont Like/Dont Read has never been in thinking that there's no merit in curating your own experience on tumblr or social media in general, or that people aren't responsible for making their own choices in regards to what they post and what they reblog and who they follow, its more complicated than that. Most of my thoughts on these matters are, which is why I object so much to them usually being boiled down according to most peoples' pre-existing default assumptions on them.

(Also, there's another post I've been meaning to get around to making about another drawback of Dont Like/Dont Read that most people never think about....the fact that many csa/rape/abuse/incest survivors WANT to find community and share tips or discuss recovery or things like that, but absolutely categorically CANT because of how much csa/rape/abuse/incest fics have taken over the tagging on tumblr, AO3 and pretty much every other site to use something similar....and with people always defensively jumping to "well you only have yourself to blame for exposing yourself to this content instead of just avoiding those tags"......it flies completely over most peoples' heads that via your assumption that the only reason people WOULD go in search of tags like "incest cw" or "rape tw" is because they're seeking out fics or headcanons about those things....you've completely discounted how many people want to talk about these things or share thoughts/experiences about them as a TOPIC, to better inform themselves or others, etc.

But we can't. Because any actual informative posts or content aimed at sharing tips, experiences, perspectives....are completely lost within the far larger sea of dark fics about these topics that we apparently, are not supposed to be looking at or even acknowledging for 'our own good' - even if they were never the reason we ventured into a particular tag in the first place. And so, an inevitable end result of this is we're further boxed out of actual generative/productive topics about OUR OWN FUCKING EXPERIENCES and the things that our perspectives are MOST FUCKING RELEVANT TO....unless we fall under the heading of survivors who are 'allowed' in most peoples' eyes to be looking at dark fic because we've already expressed that we're fine with that or have no notes or use it to cope or whatever.

But again, its not like survivors are a monolith or whatever.....just interesting that despite that, only one of two specific reactions seems to be generally accepted from us. Either survivors are fine with anything and everything said on these topics or about them, or we're expected to stay far away from them for 'our own good' and leave them to the sophisticated or undamaged individuals capable of handling them without any complaint or criticism whatsoever.)

Okay so went on a bit of a tangent there, but like I said, that one's been bugging at me for a long time. Stop infantilizing us in the name of protecting us from stuff we never asked to be protected from because any possibility of that went out the window the second it happened, especially when we have no choice but to live in the same rape/abuse culture obsessed society as anyone else. Do us the courtesy of just listening to what we are ACTUALLY saying and what we are ACTUALLY asking for, if we're actually asking for something at all, rather than just saying....here is a thing that I have a right to feel about this topic and I am saying it as is my right just as much as anyone else has the undisputed right to write literally anything about this subject whatsoever, no matter how dark or exploitative or inaccurate, etc.

[softrozene]

Thank you for reblogging that "on anon hate" piece. 🥺 It's something I'm scared of and I know that's silly 😅 and uh can you share how you get over anon hate? I could use any advice and thanks if you answer I hope your back feels better!!!!!!

Warnings: Dealing with anon hate and slight mention of mental illness/su*cide.

Of course, Hon, and thank you! It also is not silly at all! I used to have that fear on my old blog, and it did end up happening (as it does time from time here) so I can give you tips and whatnot.

First, let me address the problem that I have been seeing while I have been lurking. These past few days I have noticed an increase in anon hate or anon asks that try to pass off being good, but you can tell they are just condescending. It hurts to see that especially in the One Piece fandom where I have seen nothing but support aside from the occasional anon that gets unruly- But when that happens we all come together to defend that writer. That is what a good fandom is.

So, these few bad anons are trying to stir something up and it does work unfortunately and that is something I can’t stand. Especially when they go to blogs and harassing the writer in THAT writer’s safe space. Like hot damn, they are shitty people to do that.

These Past Few Days:

Of course, in one of the instances, I saw these past few days one of the “bad anon” was purely miscommunication and they apologized to that writer since. The other bad anon to a different writer was purely a total jerk since they were able to successfully hurt the writer mentally.

The anon function is meant for a lot of good things such as shy people, people wanting to give constructive criticism, those who do not want their blogs to be known by many people, people who get overwhelmed, people who want to spread love without it being a big deal (even though it is. Your hearts are big for that and everyone loves you for that pure intention).

The anon function is not meant for hate- That is abusing the anon function.

I, personally, use the anon function for my mutuals when I get anxiety when requesting something or just wanting to tell them how much they mean to me- When people use the anon function for that, such as their anxiety/they are just shy and whatnot I see them as hella brave for doing so. In this case, you are brave <3

HOWEVER- When people decide to use the anon function to send hate: That is literally the lowest thing you can do in not only my eyes but other people. You are sending hate knowing that it may not trace back to you. So, congrats if you do this- You are a coward.

As for whatever reason, someone wants to send hate, in the cases, I saw recently it was because the writers were wanting to open up to more fandoms. Fuck those anons who made the writers change their minds. It is not the anon’s blog- It is the writer’s. They are allowed to do whatever the hell they want without anyone’s permission. It is their safe space.

If you as an anon- Feel so obligated to send a writer or any other person your opinion on their blog saying you do not like something they wrote, you don’t care for this or that, or in your eyes, they are taking too long on your request, and you spam them with hurtful words ON THEIR BLOG, NOT YOURS- I really hope you can find peace one day because that ain’t it chief.

How fucking dare you try to hurt someone in their own safe space.

Those who have sent hate:

I genuinely hope you find a better thing to do with your life. I hope your words do not affect the person they reached. I have not a clue why anyone sends hate and it still bothers me today that they do but if you have any bit of empathy think of not just the person who you send hate to but the people that love them.

You could be the last thing that makes them go over a dark edge.

You have no idea what the person you send hate to is going through.

That person you sent hate to can have mental illnesses that makes them think whatever you say is true and seriously you are the biggest asshole on the planet if you wanted that to happen.

That person can be suicidal. (Of course, to some jerks who believe others will not act because of something on the internet, they have things outside in their real lives that make them feel that way. Your words can just be a breaking point.)

They could be clinging onto a shred of a will to live- Do not be that jerk that ruins it. Karma does bite back.

Words do hurt others and no matter how silly you may think it is- Words do have an impact.

Let me say that again because there are jerks who don’t believe that: You may think it is silly, but words do have an impact.

Now for the question, this lovely anon asked- How do you deal with anon hate?

Anon hate is going to happen, unfortunately- Especially to those who do not deserve it at all, and I despise that so much.

Personally, for me, it honestly still bothers me from time to time, but I have grown to get past it with multiple methods, so I hope these help.

Report and block them.

This is the top recommendation that I suggest. I have been sticking to this one without mercy for this blog and it has worked wonders. Anons who send hate are trying to get a reaction out of you so the easiest thing to get them to knock it off and move on with their lives is to report them for harassing you and blocking them. You can block anon asks by the three dots (I believe it’s been a while lol).

Bad anons thrive on attention. Just do not give a reaction and they will stop eventually.

Laugh it off

My actual first anon hate on this blog made me laugh so hard because they told me to off myself, but they misspelled it terribly. Yeah, it stung but it was more funny than hurtful to me. So if their message are hurtful remember that these people are abusing the anon function- A cowardly act and that makes it even funnier since they don’t want to deal with any consequences based on their behavior. In other words: They are childish.

If they are relentless then that usually means they are obsessed with you which is not healthy. (Lowkey recommend they see a therapist.)

Just call them out on having a crush on you and if they continue to harass you- Most likely denying it as hateful anons do, then you can safely say that yes, they have a crush on you (I used to do this on an old blog and when I tell ya it gets them mad lol)- This method works to just laughing it off so eventually you can grow to ignore them.

If you absolutely have to answer it- Tag your friends/mutuals or make sure they can see it so they can defend you. They are your support system

In this fandom- I always see so much support when it comes to getting hate so I know that it will happen. I can’t vouch for other fandoms/places of tumblr though.

Take the option to be on anon on your blog away- They go quiet really fast

Seriously- If it is bothering you please just take the anon function away until you feel comfortable enough to allow anons back on. You may feel sad for the good anons but they will understand why you did so. After this, please seek your support system if you need to vent about that bad anon.

My favorite other option that you can do while mixing it with these other options is to continue being you out of spite. Show them that no one can change you.

For my fellow sensitive people: Our subconscious minds think everything is true. It will hear or see one thing and it has no filter so it will go: Oh yeah- That is 100% correct- Even whatever you just read from the anon. For those who get hurt by anon hate and have a mental illness like me- I also suggest trying to rewire your brain with positive affirmations so it will be easier to realize that whatever the anon says is not true at all. It may take a while or may not be for everyone but it can help.

Overall?

It sucks but the best thing to do is to ignore, block, and continue on with your day spreading love and knowing you are a good person compared to them.

Maybe one day they can learn to love themselves and stop hating others (if the bad anon claim they do love themselves and can continue to be that way that just means they are extremely toxic and narcissistic and definitely will not switch their away around any time soon) but in the meantime be the bigger person than them (or have badass friends who don’t care and will fight to the death for you- For legal reasons that is a joke).

You have many options but just know that anon hate does not set your whole mood. That they may get off on sending hate but that is what their whole hobby is. While yours can be sending love- Your whole world does not consist of being on tumblr. It may be a safe space for you but remember you can also start anew if you need to. Do not let some silly hateful anon ruin your mood or make you afraid to go online. Do not give them that power.

Now on a much happier ending note, remember that these bad anons do not care about you if they are sending hate. However, there are people who go out of their way to tell you that they adore your content/your blog. They care and I think it is beautiful that they show it and come together to help others when needed.

This turned into an essay oops (1712 words yo)- Anyway, I hope that this helps you anon and I hope that it helps anyone else who may come across it. No matter what just remember you are loved.

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #12 1/4:

.:Asks Referring to Previous Miraculous Posts:.

Anonymous said:

I think that story with Delmar, Sabrina and Alya is only type of Alya demonization you accept.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Absolutely.

I also accept “demonization” for like--comedic purposes. For example, if they had Alya be all in on the love square and all no Marinette you’re not allowed to give up on Adrien if it’s Lukanette endgame and Alya’s (and possibly the rest of the girl squad) “demonization” is for the sake of their dramatic reactions to the mere idea that Marinette would be both not into Adrien anymore and also into someone else.

I just think the idea of turning things on its head by making the people around Marinette the subject of jokes instead of it being Marinette herself.

Anonymous said:

Alya going "Need Some Help?" reminds me of Karma and Nagisa from Assassination Classroom(I said it right this time!). Obviously Alya is Karma and Sabrina is Nagisa(and now Karma's jazzy motif is playing in my head). And Delmar is probably(and by probably I mean almost fucking definitely) Kayano. For real though, I didn't even know Delmar's name until I read that ask/response now. I mean, like, that's how forgettable and underutilized he was. And no, Ms. Bustier isn't worthy of being Koro-sensei.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Still not familiar with Assassination Classroom so I will let the other anons who are familiar with the series silently judge for themselves. ;P

As for Delmar, don’t feel bad; his name actually isn’t mentioned in the special to my knowledge, and it was a tweet that confirmed his name.

Anonymous said:

Oh yeah, the "Astruc gets hit with a washboard" was SUPPOSED to be a shout-out to Koro-Sensei Quest, in which Karma gets hit with a washboard(don't ask where it came from or where they go when they hit the ground, the world may never know) every time he acts like a smug-ass little bitch. You know, like Astruc. Often, the washboard will ricochet off his head and hit a red button, which then opens up a pit which Karma then falls in. In other words, Karma getting Karma! If only Astruc could too.

(the post this anon is referring to)

khfjdgdg ahhh, yeah, thanks for explaining! I’ve always said that I’m not very media-savvy so sometimes I don’t know about more popular shows.

Anonymous said:

Eventually Salty Decadent Court

(the post this anon is referring to)

lol we just slowly upgrade our way through the salt ranks

Anonymous said:

I was thinking about your edit of Desperada, and how I would definitely love to edit the ATLA finale to cut out Kat/aang and Mai/ko stuff lol.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Oh yeah, that’d be amazing! I imagine it’d be difficult, but not impossible. Sometimes it might be better to sacrifice good shots or move scenes around for the sake of making things cohesive.

Anonymous said:

Kagami when adrien its back from NY: I'm sorry adrien, but I have feelings for two blueberries, we have to broke up

Adrien: eh? Broke up? We were dating?

(the post this anon is referring to)

I like how this ask doesn’t specify whether the joke is that Adrien might’ve just been way too “friendly” with Kagami and gave her the impression that they were dating, or a joke on the fact that the show itself doesn’t specify that they’re dating, or both.

A+ 10/10

Anonymous said:

If Adrien does get akumatised because of jealousy about Marinette, I hope someone (Kagami would be great) points out that Marinette was never akumatised for that reason even though she had waaay more scenarios that could have turned out that way. So don't blame yourself, Marinette!! (I also hope Kagami yells at anyone else *cough*Alya*cough* who tries to blame Marinette.

(the “Didn’t Need Burrow” that this anon is referring to)

We just want someone unambiguously on Marinette’s side, is that too much to ask?

Anonymous said:

"It's difficult to animate" hasn't stopped others before (Lord Shen, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, etc). You may do it as a hobby, but this are professionals who should have done more than the bare minimun.

(the post this anon is referring to)

I agree. I’m just trying to keep things like budget in mind. A bunch of free-flowing clothing is fine but I’m basically like--okay, but you don’t NEED the stuff that would hamper the budget to make things look good.

Anonymous said:

I don't know why, but I'm picturing Ladybug confronting Chat Noir after he gets back from New York like a mother scolding her teenage daughter for sneaking out at night.

(the post this anon is referring to)

Honestly? Accurate.

Anonymous said:

Clara Nightengale: I sensed Marinette was in trouble, so I came to this school on the doub-- Jagged Stone: It's okay, I already got her.

(the post this anon is referring to)

jdhgdjkfgkjfg Jagged and Clara walking down the street together all cool, Jagged still having Marinette slung over his shoulder, and everyone watching is just, “??????”

passivedecept said:

Honestly

After reading your last bit i feel cheated that Jagged isnt included more

But it may be better that he isnt like luka's dad.

Can you imagion?

Luka: dad. I like someone.

Jagged: who?

Luka: a real nice and talented girl name marinette and- who are you calling?

Jagged: penny because we need a place for your wedding STAT!

Because i firmly believe if jagged had a son who was dating marinette he would do everything to get mari as his daughter in law.

Okay that was it. Love every fic and small bit you make. And i was wondering if you had your own fav. Like. What have your written so far that you like the best yourself?

(the post this anon is referring to)

Do you mean it’d be better because love square is endgame so it’d be messy? Because otherwise, not gonna lie, Jagged meddling and being super supportive sounds fun. :P I’m not here for love square meddling but Lukanette meddling is cute because both parties would be mutually aware of it and also be into it.

As for my favorite fic I’ve written? That’s probably too tough to answer, ahaha. For sure, it’s something Lukanette-based, but I know that doesn’t narrow it down much at all. It would also probably be one of my fix-its/canon divergences because I’m crazy for multiverse/alternate timeline stuff (I hate time travel, but I’m all about multiverse, I adore that stuff).

Anonymous said:

In one of your Didn't Need Burrow masterposts, when someone said that Marinette and Adrien had kids and a hamster who'll get Miraculouses, I somehow misread that as "the kids as well as the hamster itself will all get Miraculouses".

(the post this anon is referring to)

I’m sure at least one of my anons would snap back at that with a joke like, “well, with the standards set for who gets a miraculous, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

rogueinthedigitalworld said:

Would like to pop in for a second to say that yes, Maribat *did* start out as a spite ship, because the original creator was a heavy Adrien salter and wanted someone to replace him… and chose Damian Wayne, for some reason. Since then, Marinette has been shipped with all the Robins (and from I can tell, they’re all warped into actuallynice!Adrien with two gimmicks added from the *actual* characters). I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s the gist of it.

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you for the response! Yeah, I didn’t know if it was like Spider-man and Ladybug - which I don’t think is a spite ship but I might be wrong - so I didn’t want to say that it was a spite ship without being sure (and obviously, some shippers of it could be just genuine shippers, who knows).

Anonymous said:

Okay, but seriously, when I first joined the ml fandom I was so confused about the maribat. I'm not really a big fan of either romance or comics (except for sandman lol) so I kind of filtered them out but it's kind of an experience tbh. I'm pretty sure it started on tumblr though- everyone sites it as the ozmav au

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you for the extra clarification, anon! Yeah, I have that ship blacklisted (so I don’t see it around) but not really out of hatred for it; I tend to blacklist names/people/ships that I’m either indifferent to or don’t like (I immediately blacklist people who write angst, people who cross tag, and people who do onesided-Lukanette and don’t tag it that, even if it’s just one offense; I don’t play games, lol, if anyone does something I don’t like, I filter it out because I filter everything).

Anonymous said:

Your images of Luka and Marinette kissing are so super kyute! What program do you use to render them?

(the post this person is referring to)

Thank you! I made them myself!

The program I use is MikuMikuDance, using an edited version of the shader “GreenerShader 1.14″

[barnesbabee]

oh you're actually leaving. thought you were joking. :( byeee enjoy .... whatever is ahead i guess lols

To whomever it may concern

I've decided that even if it comes out that their dating scandal is not true, I've decided to leave tumblr behind as well as kpop

Someone's life decisions shouldn't impact me like this. It's not normal nor healthy. My reaction was very extreme and I'm not proud of it but I can't help the fact that I feel this way, and it's not correct.

I am also not proud of what my blog has become, through my unpopular opinions I have shared and received hate and that's not what I wanted, all I wanted was to debate with people that knew more than I did because I was uneducated in a lot of things when I came here.

I have to accept that kpop will never be the same kpop I loved back then, a neither will the community. The kpop community has grown to be very, very toxic, and just a place that I don't want to be in anymore.

Kpop was something very big in my life but I feel like I have to move on and give it less importance from now on

As I said, it's become a very toxic environment and it's not healthy

To be honest the only reason I held onto this blog was because I loved the interactions and discussions (not fights, discussions) I have with you guys, its genuinely fun and interesting to have this much interaction

To be fair I havent put in a kpop song to casually listen to while I'm cleaning, driving or just relaxing in months. And I didn't realize it up until now when I've decided to leave the community. There's songs that will always live in my heart. Haru Haru will forever be a song that I love dearly. It wasn't about the music anymore and that should be all kpop is about. The music.

But the bad outweighs the good and I feel like I need to grow a little and stop the 'I won't leave out of spite 💅' ordeal and finally leave

It's just not worth it anymore

It was tiring always looking over my shoulder and always having the feeling people were mocking me, and always being filled with hate

I wasn't putting a tough front when I said I didn't care about the hate, no matter what anyone told me, I never did care. I've lived a life where I've had a lot of stuff said to me, and I've learned some people aren't gonna like me, so what? It's the internet, tough shit someone hates me. But yes, it wasn't nice receiving hate, it never is. And it got tiring always havung to watch my mouth and whatnot...

Writing stopped being fun a long time ago, it started being repeating and I felt like was creativity had to be limited to write smut because you wouldn't really support anything else, as it was proved by that last fic I posted. It's not your fault at all, you read and support what you want, it was just discouraging to me.

Take care of your creators here in this platform

I wish you all, even the ones I hate, all the best

To all my mutuals and dear anons, thank you for sticking with me, thank you for all the unconditional love and support, I hope life smiles at you and I wish you all the happiness in the world, if you need me you know where to find me

I believe this decision was for the best, it's already hard coordinating my life at home and at uni (2 different houses, 4 different friend groups, exams, real life dramas...), I don't need to have more drama and more stuff to keep up with, I feel like this will give me a lot of peace of mind now that I'm trying to reduce how much I hate everything, I just want to be ok, and I feel like stepping away will do that

Thank you for allowing me to have one last dance

- Trixie

PS. I will be deleting all I said about this issue tomorrow, I don't want the last posts of my blog to be filled with hate

[shinygoku]

Liar Revealed! A Bug’s Life Essay

A Bug’s Life is my favourite Pixar movie and thus, it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about it. In this case, what was originally my interpretation soley in response to points I’ve seen raised on YouTube and TV Tropes has spun off into this mega essay.... all focused on a single scene.

But hey, it works with one of the film’s main messages; that something big grows out of a small idea!

The scene is the most notorious in the movie, at least from what I’ve seen, and I’m inclined to agree it’s the weakest part of this giant clock. But why is it like that and how could it have been handled better?

As I’ve said, this is actually my favourite (albeit not what I consider their very best) of Pixar’s output, and I wouldn’t have been able to go into such depth without a huge amount of love for the finished product, flawed as it may be.

It’s also possible I’ll write a more generalised thing on what I love about the film in the future, but I won’t promise anything o7;; 🐜

The Lie is ...laid

Actually, I should talk about two scenes. First is where the Lie is established:

After the humourous mutual misunderstanding between the Circus Bugs and Flik, the former are quite horrified to discover they’re expected to fight the Grasshoppers off themselves instead of putting on a show. Ahh, that old classic~

But no, they want out and Flik, who has just been informed by them during the welcoming shindig, is understandably rattled and despairing over this addition to his list of failures. He says the fallout will not only brand him, but his hypothetical grandchildren as a Terrible Loser and even says he’s as good as dead as soon as the other ants find out. Owch.

Before things get too heavy, the focus shifts around until The Bird becomes the main immediate threat. The whole Bird scene leads the ants to become convinced the Circus Bugs are really amazing warriors and, as this is the first time in what could be years that they have a crowd cheering for them it’s the success and Flik’s later idea to make a Giant Mech in the shape of a Bird instead of planning any actual combat that convinces them to play along.

So, that’s the lie set up and solidified. Now for the eventual fallout:

During a fun party after the Bird has been built, an ominous force arrives... PT Flea, the Jerkass ringmaster who had fired the Circus Bugs. This local bug promptly ruins everything by literally shining a light on the Circus Bugs and their nature as such, and then Flik is accidentally outed as the Guy Who Thought Up The Bird.

The Liar Revealed Trope

I would link the TV Tropes article here, but as tungle doesn’t like external sites I’ll just quote the more relevant parts from it:

“Liar Revealed in the Internal Reveal of The Lie, the facade maintained by a protagonist which provides the primary dramatic tension for the plot. This usually sets up the third act where the protagonists are forced to deal with the consequences of the lie on top of any external threats.

There are a few usual ways this ends up. If the lie was for selfish reasons, the protagonist will doubtless face the wrath of those he lied to, but along the way end up having a change of conscience, and try to redeem themselves through good acts and An Aesop about "what really matters". If the lie was well-intentioned, the protagonist may still find that others turn their backs on him, but go on to carry through with what they said they'd do anyway, proving themselves a hero after all.

It's worth noting that this trope is particularly easy and common to misuse, either in the tendency of the protagonist to Maintain the Lie for reasons that make no sense except for dramatic tension or of the deceived to turn against the protagonist for the deception in spite of other considerations that should by all rights absolve him.”

And in the folder there’s a specific entry for this film:

A Bug's Life has Flik supposedly finding "warrior bugs" to save his colony after misconstruing a situation. When he realizes his mistake (that they're circus performers rather than trained warriors), he's forced to keep the lie going in order to not cause panic among the other ants. Once the colony finds out, it inevitably results in one of the most painfully Played Straight examples of this trope in animation history... 

As you can see there, the dislike for this scene has seeped into the entry. Of course, TV Tropes is pretty informal and I like that, but it’s telling that this is a general perception.

Continue reading below the Cut! ✂

What I don’t like

So, I think my main issue with the scene boils down to... it’s very nebulous and unclear as to what’s so bad about Flik lying. Between the Council, the Queen and Atta, there seems to be a jumbled, confusing motive traffic jam that somehow results in what TV Tropes refers to the Liar Reveal Trope being played “Painfully Straight”.

But uhh, what’s the problem? Yes, Flik lied, but we know that wasn’t something he’d planned on doing, it was his attempt at damage control. The other ants don’t know that part, but still, what are they objecting to, specifically? That the Circus bugs are Circus bugs? That the Bird Plan was Flik’s? That.... lying is treated at an absolute moral failing regardless of the circumstances??

The council dudes are like: “OH WHAAAAT, the defence plan was by Clowns??” [No, it was Flik] “OH WHAAAT, we don’t have our mafia money prepared what if Hopper finds out we nearly sicced a fake bird on him!?”

The part about objecting to Clowns drafting the defence plans is actually the more reasonable explanation, but I guess they presumed warriors habitually made Decoy Bird plans instead of fighting themselves? There’s already a hole in their objections but it only gets worse.

The Queen is like: “Wow Flik evidently you’re a self serving prick. Anyway the best thing to do is pretend this never happened and no we’re not going to tell Hopper.”

Why the fuck would that happen? ‘Oh sorry Hopper we got sidetracked doing a ...thing... so we’re still picking your food no please don’t break my legs’

But also, why THE FUCK is this the plan? Some ruler you are, you old prune. ‘We have the bird all made and ready to go but oops the idea came from a DIRTY LIAR so we’re going to return to the doomed harvesting racket even though we’ve been set an outrageous amount and we can’t possibly hope to catch up and even if we had been picking the food the entire time it was established earlier on we won’t have time for our supplies on top of all that.’

Fucking.... astonishing lack of logic. YOU MORONS HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, GO WITH THE BIRD! Flik himself says something to a similar effect lol

But noooooo, his arguably selfish lie [which is more Omitting the truth once he knew it, really] has forever doomed everything, apparently. Honestly it comes across more like they just hate Flik and see anything he invents as doomed to fail, so the second the truth emerges that he spearheaded the Mech Bird they dismiss it as a lost cause. Even though everyone worked together to build it, and Flik’s inventions weren’t the issue but him being awkward and clumsy. But seeing how Flik’s mere presence in his first scene seemed to drive the Council members into a quivering fury, it really does feel like their objections are from them refusing to give him a chance.

And then there’s Princess Atta. Hoo Boy.

In this scene, she comes off as being ridiculously vindictive, petty and hypocritical. This applies to the Council too, but it’s more galling coming from Atta as by now she’s realised that Flik gets a lot of flak [yay wordplay] from the others and she had resolved to give him more credit. BUT OOPS, that didn’t last!

She takes the Lying thing so personally, acting like he was cheating on her or something. “You lied to MeEeEee” well golly gee whiz, was there any particular reason why he would tell you the truth? Other than his rather obvious crush on you, that is? Cause that would still be a weird reason, seeing how the ‘lie’ was after he’d finally got a bit of decent treatment from the others, why would he wanna upset the apple cart?

He probably feared coming out and confessing to Atta [or anyone else] that they’d lose all faith in him and scrap a valid plan that was the only way out of the grasshopper racket mess. Which would be a bit silly and probably the result of someone with low self esteem and confidence issues overthinking the situation but it’s Exactly what actually happens!

It wasn’t a personal slight against you, Princess! To quote Helen Parr: THIS IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!!

And wooow, you must be awfully chilly up there on your high horse, Miss “Lied to Flik to get rid of him earlier in the film”! Did you ever feel like fessing up? Like ‘hmm I’ve grown much fonder of this doofus, maybe I should be honest with him before engaging with some more light flirting’ ? Maybe if you had, he woulda been honest in return!

I don’t even see why she and the Council bothered lying about their Snipe Hunt ploy, seeing how now they act like he crossed a moral event horizon. Why even bother making a phoney baloney decoy idea to get him away, when they clearly dislike him enough to play the Brutally Honest card without fretting over his feelings. They coulda just ordered him to stay in a corner away from interfering but instead they’re willing to risk his life on a wild goose chase.

...And she then Banishes him! For what?? Lying? About what, the circus bugs or the bird plan? Both?? It really feels like her taking undue personal offence and the Council hating him and the Queen being old and senile.

So yeah, wow, this scene has what I think is the Unintended side effect of making me hate the stupid jerkface Ant colony as every named ant in it except for Dot fucking suck and throw Flik under a bus the second they deem him to be untrustworthy. In spite of, like, that the plan itself was solid and that the Circus Bugs have all been proven to be Good Eggs. They don’t give him a chance to explain and made their own bed to lie in, so I feel dark joy and satisfaction when the grasshoppers do arrive and kick them around some more.

Wow gee, if only you dumb ass ants had some sort of already made contraption to fall back on?

Why is it like this?

I can only make guesses here, be warned!

From what I’ve gathered of an older version of the story, mostly via Wikipedia, I kinda feel like the exposing would have fit that take better. In the beta version of the story, instead of Flik the lead would have been “Red”, who was a red ant and circus bug from the start. The first draft Circus lot woulda been out to scam the ants initially and I guess would have grown genuine fondness with time. The idea of an outsider flim flamming his way into the good books and later being exposed makes the overblown outrage a lot more understandable. But that’s my hypothesis for the direction they ultimately didn’t go in. Also look at how Red looks like a fuckboi here:

But in the final version, Red doesn’t exist! Flik is a part of the colony from the get go, but also apart from it cause no one likes him as, again, his ideas were good but poorly executed and he seemed to be a hindrance. But the ants should at least see that Flik is genuine in his attempts, that he’s trying his best and they should maybe cut him some slack.

The way the ants have their knickers in a twist doesn’t gel so well with the “Well meaning screwup” angle, especially compared to a possible “Opportunistic so-and-so who doesn’t have real attachments to the colony” route.

Also it may be worth noting up there where I put a TV Tropes excerpt, I bolded the relevant half of the run down, but it seems the other half applies much more to this first draft. Interesting...

So I don’t know, but I got the idea that the scene in the movie is basically a holdover from earlier that didn’t get sufficiently updated. The Liar Revealed Scene is the first thing I’d change if I were rewriting the script, and I might go back and change it again after other parts had been redone too, cause the story needs to flow from point A to point B etc. smoothly or else viewers will get annoyed and point it out in Youtube videos or overly long tumblr text posts.

How could it be fixed?

I’m not saying I’m sitting on the perfect idea of a rewrite. But the main thing is what I already touched on, the jarring disconnect between what happens and how the stupid ants respond.

Like, Atta’s sudden grabbing of the Jerkass and Idiot Balls in this scene. Wouldn’t it have been better if she was instead unsure and conflicted? She had lied to Flik earlier and, unlike the Council, was shown to actually realise Flik Has Feelings Too and apologised for the general lack of faith. She didn’t come clean about the Snipe Hunt Lie, so that could be weighing on her during this scene, maybe she would have been the only Council member to Not want to kick him out but felt pressured into it and hasn’t got into the groove of being the Future Queen enough to pull rank and talk them down from being hate filled twats. Maybe someone will mention the flirting that had been happening as muddying her judgement?

That’s my main idea, compare that with her barging in and taking undue personal offence and shooing him off. She’s supposed to feel like she’s doomed to fail too, so her facing a moral dilemma and falling on the wrong side of the fence could tie into that! (To be honest, her arc is kinda undercooked so hey, I’m killing two birds with one stone here!)

Flik being banished at all is a casualty of The Narrative, that he and the Circus Bugs have gotta go away temporarily for the finale to be cooler and more exciting. It’s a Necessary Weasel of writing and you’ll find them in every story ever made. Sometimes things have gotta happen cause Story Structure. The trick is having them more organic and concealed.

So yeah, have the Old Fogeys be in the wrong [which is so far unchanged] but also the majority of the ‘voting’. Make it difficult for Atta to choose between loyalty to the colony as a whole and her sense of duty versus trusting in Flik, who she now knows to always have his heart in the right place. She comes close to standing up for him and herself, but ultimately falters and gets pressured into the call made in the movie. She’s still ultimately responsible as leaders are, but in a much more sympathetic way.

Summation

This got way longer than I had initially imagined, and that’s even after I cut stuff in the editing process! Let’s quickly review the three main points I’m trying to make.

The Issue with the scene - A big song and dance is made over The Lie, but no reason why it’s such a terrible thing is offered. A perfectly sound plan is dismissed nonsensically.

Suspected reasoning for the writing - The tone matches a potential alternate story much better, where someone would have lied for self serving purposes instead of for the greater good.

A suggestion for a rewrite - Make it much more nuanced and fitting the character arcs. Give the characters a reason to react the way they do and have different responses per person. If the ants are going to drop the Bird plan, at least offer a more viable alternate route than going back to what wasn’t working before.

Does it really matter?

Well, I don’t expect a 22 year old film to suddenly get a rewrite, no. And I maintain that it’s a real gem which deserves much higher praise with the other Good Pixars instead of being so constantly overlooked.

Part of what spurred me to think about the scene and what I’d alter is seeing it referred to as ‘Kinda Bad’ in a youtube video that was talking about another Liar Reveal scene in another movie, and that is a bad take, but the point about how clunky this part is isn’t wrong. I don’t want people to dismiss the whole, beautiful image cause one section of it doesn’t vibe!

It doesn’t ruin the picture, but when people have something negative to say it’s this which is the magnet. And I’m kinda guilty of doing the same thing here, haha. But I wanted to really dissect and examine it, to figure out why it’s like that and to guess how simple it may be to rework. It’s bittersweet, but there ain’t such a thing as a perfect movie.

This has been fun for me to go into though, and it’s nice to get thoughts out from just swirling around inside my head, so even if barely anyone sees and makes it through this whole dissertation, I’m glad I wrote it out. It’s a funny way to derive enjoyment from the bumpy part of a beloved movie, but hey, I’ll take it~

[get-the-treasure]

school log #1

9-5-17

Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.

Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.

Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???

Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.

Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a  w  f  u  l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.

Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.

Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.

Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.

Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)

Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.

Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left??? 

After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol

[taichixyamato]

Headcanons on how the boys come out to their parents?

This is a little hard for me to answer because I’ve actually been working on a fic that centers around this concept...One of the reasons why it has been taking me so long...is because I can’t really decide which way to go with  LOL

but hey, since I haven’t written anything yet...I’ll try to sort out all of the thoughts I’ve come up with regarding this question. These are just my ideas...so they aren’t very headcanon-y but hopefully they are still interesting enough to read ^^ 

And, as always. This is just my own thoughts. If anyone else wants to share theirs, feel free to do so :P

The Good

-Yagami Parents

So. I just picture Taichi and Yamato sitting on one end of the table. Taichi’s parents on the other side and Yamato is just shyly looking down as Taichi is fidgeting as he tells both of his parents that he’s been dating Yamato. 

And then both of his parents just turn to look at Yamato and they both are shaking their heads just going, “Are you serious...Our son? He’s only good at eating! And running around in circles! You can do so much better than just a lazy kid who naps in the middle of the day, do you really want our idiot son???” 

And Taichi is just embarrassed yelling at his parents “Is that what you really think of me!? come on!!!” While Yamato laughs it off and chides with Taichi’s parents until Taichi pouts too much. 

-Hiroaki and Natsuko

Hiroaki finds out first. Most likely because he accidentally walked in on Taichi and Yamato having a ‘moment’ (it really doesn’t matter if it’s just a kiss or like something more handsy. just a moment where they are obviously not friends) and the both of them are freaking out about it. Even though Taichi insisted on staying, Yamato shoos him out as he wants to have this conversation with his dad by himself. 

Hiroaki is a little stunned, but when he thinks about it he’s not that surprised. Considering how close Yamato is with Taichi--it does make sense that they wouldn’t just be friends. He lets his son know, that it’s fine if he’s dating someone, it’s fine if that someone is Taichi....just please please please keep it in the bedroom. This makes Yamato just light up like a christmas tree but he does agree.  

With Natsuko...I always get a little lost here? I feel like Yamato would try so hard to be perfect around her as he is worried about how his mother thinks of him. However, Taichi isn’t as mindful as Yamato--and when the secret is out, Yamato is anxious that he can’t be a good son in his mother’s eyes anymore. However...I like to think that Natsuko is much more observant than she lets on. So she can see how distraught Yamato is--how...normal Taichi is acting around her. So afterwards, she just pulls Yamato to the side to remind him that no matter what she’s his mother, and she’ll always care for Yamato’s well being. If he’s happy, she’s happy. 

The Bad

-Yagami Parents

Because of how nuclear Taichi’s family is. When Taichi comes out and tells his parents that he is dating a man...It’s not that they are angry...but they just don’t ‘understand.’ They get quiet when Yamato is over. Taichi’s mom will still try to set Taichi up on a blind date with one of her friend’s daughters. Taichi’s dad is more or less unresponsive when it comes down to this. 

This gets Taichi really irritated. More often than not, Yamato has to be one to tell Taichi to calm down and stop Taichi from saying anything too harmful. The off hand comments hurt. But the family front is still there. As time goes on it’s just easier for Taichi’s parents to accept that this isn’t just some arbitrary choice but a real decision Taichi made for himself. And eventually all is well.

-Hiroaki and Natsuko

I can’t really imagine Yamato’s dad ever taking Yamato’s life choices that badly. I don’t think Hiroaki is that type of parent at least. But that doesn’t necessarily means that he wouldn’t have trouble if it came to Yamato having Taichi as a boyfriend. 

The normal questions would follow, “does this mean you’re gay? are you sure? what about this or that” and the usual spiel. Until Hiroaki drops the bomb, “How long do you think this will last?” 

This kind of question throws Yamato off guard because like, how he is supposed to answer that. It’s not like they are applying for a mortgage or anything yet, they’re still in high school. And so Hiroaki just kinda clarifies. Life with a same sex partner isn’t easy. There is a different set of obstacles to deal with. And if Taichi and Yamato aren’t on the same page now, they won’t be on the same page years down the road. “After all, look at me and your mother--” That just automatically leaves a sour train of thought in Yamato’s mind. And he feels forced to think about Taichi with this doubt lingering in his mind. 

When Yamato talks to his mother--he’e hoping for something different. But she winds up saying the same thing. It’s not so much that her son is gay--it’s just that she’s unsure if Yamato has really thought about the seriousness of a relationship and whether this boy is worth it. 

So for a while Yamato is trying to sort out his thoughts. Taichi eventually gets to him though, and when he finds out that Yamato is worried about whether this is a serious relationship or just a intermediate playful romp, Taichi laughs. Taichi starts saying things like, “Yamato you’re not your parents. If you were, I’d just ask your dad out and you obviously” “Taichi--” “Why didn’t I think about that first. Honestly, your boyfriend? pft, I’d rather be your step dad.” “Taichi!” 

Lol Taichi doesn’t really know if they have a ‘meaningful’ relationship or not, but who cares. He likes him. And that feeling is mutual. It’s worth trying out at least right? Yamato still calls Taichi an idiot, but he feels better knowing that he doesn’t have to live out the same kind of pattern that his parents did. 

The ugly 

-Yagami Parents

Again this centers around the idea that the Yagami family has been such a normalized nuclear family. So when Taichi comes out--it’s a huge shock. Their son is dating a man. How are they going to tell people this? What about their neighbors--Hikari--the rest of their social circle! How can they act like everything is fine when Taichi is doing something so...unorthodox. 

I think the big kicker that would really take the wind out of Taichi is being berated like he’s in an interrogation. “Oh, what about your career? Who’s going to elect a gay public official? How are you going to start a family? Who’s going to take care of you when you get older? Maybe you aren’t thinking clearly--Taichi you have a habit of doing that--” 

And it goes on and on. Until Taichi blows up. Angry at it all. Yamato manages to take him away--but the damage is already done. Taichi feels shamed in his parent’s eyes. Even when things gloss over, and they get back on speaking terms, it’s not without a few comments of disapproval. Taichi tries to dispel them but they’re met with comments like ‘i’m not as bad as other parents.’ It cause a lot of unrest from that point forward. 

-Hiroaki and Natsuko

Again I don’t think Hiroaki would do something like reject his son. I really can’t see him doing something like that. But...I mean...a lack of action is sometimes worse...

Natsuko would be more outspoken on any negative feelings. She’s concerned about Yamato’s upbringing--and starts accusing Hiroaki that his parenting is part of the reason why their ‘son ended up like this’ Yamato is the one to speak up against it but Hiroaki is mostly silent. And it’s this silence that really freaks Yamato out, he was expecting a bit of resistance from his mom. But he wasn’t expecting his dad to be so...reticent about this. 

Yamato has his anxieties, but he keeps to to himself. Compared to the blowout Taichi had with his parents Yamato was just thankful his drama was much more subdued than what Taichi had to deal with. 

When time goes onward and his relationship with Taichi progresses (as in they start living together and that stuff). Yamato’s parents tend to not be involved as Yamato makes these big decisions. And each time he gets a little more fed up with their lack of input. Until one day he tries to be confrontational about it (I mean, sure Taichi’s parents took it badly but at least they felt and did something right?!). However it doesn’t go over as plannned. And well...Yamato realizes that him being Taichi is causing a lot strain and unrest within his dad. And then Yamato feels horrible. Because he feels like he either has to choose between Taichi or a good standing relationship with his father and it’s hard for him to handle that kind of stress. 

Yamato winds up telling Taichi is ofc, after consoling him a bit they just decide that it’s fine. They can’t control what their parents do, but at least they have each other. 

In this kind of scenario, Taichi’s parents just struggle with their concept of pride and spite. While Yamato’s parents have trouble keep closeness and distance. Tbh it just makes me sad so I tend to steer away from this when plotting. 

Anyway, here are some of my ideas when it comes to Taichi and Yamato coming out to their parents. Thank you for reading :]

[safarigirlsp]

okay so if you agree that the civil war was a bad setting to use and you're sorry to the people you offended, why did you decide to turn the damn fic into a series?

Firstly, it’s not a series yet. However, I will answer your question directly and not deflect and disseminate as is the policy of others.

Secondly, I did post a short smut scene yesterday. As a purely bitch move and an 🖕in response to cowardly public call out posts made by one specific person. Everyone should know very well by now that I’m far from a perfect person. I was and am very angered by the actions of a few. I stated to the other person that if they wanted to play games, I could play along. They wanted to escalate things so I accommodated. You can read the sceenshots for yourself somewhere floating around lol. I am not going to be made out publicly as a liar or a coward on top of their other accusations. That’s not admirable behavior on my part. It’s anger, it’s spite, but that’s the simple truth. You may condemn me for that as much as you wish.

They also stated in a post that my story was too popular. (I am paraphrasing here because i no longer have access to the posts, so minor inaccuracies are possible). Then they stated the need to call attention to me more directly in a second post because a supporter of mine and of others sent a message to some of their favorite writers, myself included, supporting both myself and others. I cannot for the life of me understand why, but the other blog appeared to take this as a reason to escalate things and make a more ‘serious’ post. Apparently, people weren’t following their commands enough, just like I didn’t. And if that anon is reading this, I appreciate your message to myself and others!!

Let me point out one very important distinction here. My story was stupid/insensitive/ignorant/etc or all of the above. I fully admit that. I didn’t think much beyond wanting a new AU as I have stated before in more detail. I fully accept I should have thought deeper. However, it was not intentionally hurtful to anyone. Their actions against me were done with the express intention of canceling me, attacking me, and shaming and bullying myself and my supporters into acting in the way that they deemed appropriate. That is a very important distinction and it’s the difference between negligence and malice.

The kind responses I have received from other people here have really resonated with me and I do not wish to cause hurt or drama for them. Those responses and the people behind them make me want to do better and be better. For them and for their benefit. I have no desire to offend or hurt and decent people on here who are just trying to enjoy themselves.

Conversely, The response from the other writer makes me want to post a 10k fic a week out of pure spite just for their benefit alone. I’m not saying that’s what I’m doing, but that is certainly the impulse. I do not respond well to bullying and chickenshit behavior. Nor to a person who is incapable of having a polite adult discussion without throwing a tantrum. I feel wronged by their actions, to put it mildly. I’m not saying my fic was in the right, that’s a different issue. But I do not believe the cowardly actions against me, making threats and guilt trips to my followers and supporters, and so on, was right at all. That was wrong of the other writer and they caused a lot of hurt and division here, which I hope they enjoy. Many bystanders were affected by this completely unnecessary action.

What sickens me even more is that this tactic has worked before. It has driven other writers away and into submission. I’m sure that was what people assumed would happen here. Well, I refuse to go on hiatus or be driven away. They will not get that response from me.

I’m trying to balance that internally and decide how to handle things moving forward. As you can no doubt tell, I am very angry at their cowardice act of aggression against me. Having a false conversation, issuing a demand, and then circulating public canceling posts is downright pathetic behavior. I would never deal with another person in that manner. I have always operated on a level of mutual respect with them, which I outright say in our screencaptured exchange. That lasted until I refused to bow to their whim. I assumed this sort of behavior was beneath them. I was wrong. I shall not forgive and forget that person.

However, I do not wish to cause any hurt to anyone else involved here, whether indirectly or on the sidelines.

Finally, I will reinforce again that I am not and would never ask or expect any of my supporters to unfollow or distance themselves from them or anyone else. This is a place to have fun and enjoy yourself, at least it should be. Please continue to do that in every possible way that brings you enjoyment. My personal tastes on the matter or the person should not affect yours.

[bigskydreaming]

Anon who sent that ask about someone else - it might take me awhile to respond because there’s kinda an indepth answer to that.....like its not a long convoluted thing, honestly, its just something that’s a matter of saying it right so it comes out the way I mean it, y’know? But for the record, not everyone I reblog from is a mutual, sometimes I’m just seeing what other people are posting, and there’s a difference between people I interact with and people I let myself get close to. I’m kinda a stubborn fuck, lol, which means after a literal lifetime of isolating myself and making sure me and ‘my issues’ were only taking up as much space as others were willing to allot me, like, I just fucking got exhausted by that and decided awhile back that no. Fuck no, I’m not doing that anymore, because I shouldn’t HAVE to. I put a lot of effort into making sure I make room for problems people speak up about that I previously didn’t notice or wasn’t aware of, and so I think its only fair that people do the same in return for me when and where it becomes an issue. That’s how society is SUPPOSED to work, I believe. No, everybody doesn’t have to agree on everything, but when its a matter of just CARING how things we prioritize and make room for affect others around us and squeeze them into smaller and smaller spaces......eventually, it comes down to being either put up or shut up time.

And I know where I stand on those things, and since I’m also a big believer in personal accountability, like.....I’m just not someone who’s willing to make it easier for others to determine the same, like, at my expense. Not anymore. So....bottom line is, I don’t limit my interactions with others based on figuring out where they stand on stuff and building myself a fortress that boxes them out and has a sign out that says keep out if you don’t like xyz.

Instead, I do exactly what proponents of “Don’t like, don’t read” CLAIM they do.

I set out my blanket on this big fucking giant lawn that’s all tumblr really is, a communal space where anyone can set up shop and anyone can see what anyone else is doing over in their space and there really AREN’T ‘walls’ no matter how much we pretend there are.....and since there’s not really a finite amount of space, I take up as much space as I need to, over here in my personal bit of it, and I use it however the fuck I please. Just like everyone else.

And then I leave it up to other people to figure out for themselves how much they want to come into my space, or near my space, or how much distance they want to put between themselves and my space.....but I make damn clear that everyone knows: this is MY space, this is what *I* believe in and stand for and I will talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about, WHEN I want to talk about it, at the volume I want to talk about it. And anyone that doesn’t work for has pleeeeeeeenty of other space they can put between themselves and me so they 100% do not have to hear anything I’m saying, let alone interact with it.

And thing is....they absolutely can do whatever they want in their spaces too. They can talk about ME if they want to, and whatever it is that I’m saying - that’s their right! And if I see them or hear them talking about me I can share what I think about THAT, in a totally counter-productive never-ending spiral that yeah, we sometimes get sucked into.

Just like.....I accept that people CAN ship what they want to ship and write what they want to write and do all of that in their various spaces.....but when those spaces butt up next to mine or when they share space with somewhere that’s supposedly a communal space that all like-minded fans are welcome in....yup, I CAN say what I feel and think about those even just EXISTING. And then they can say and feel whatever they want about THAT and down the line it goes, lol.

(Its kinda hilarious to me how sometimes my little rants about fic result in people spitefully posting stuff that’s exactly what I was talking about and making sure to let me know if its in reaction to me being so damn annoying and loud. Its like....lol, adorable how you just flat out refuse to get that I’m only REACTING to what you put out there in the first place, so putting out MORE of the same to ‘spite’ me is never going to make me talk about it LESS. You fucking dumbasses.)

But you see what I’m saying right? Like.....it just doesn’t work for me anymore, to do what I did pretty much since I was ten years old, and continually retreat AWAY from the spaces taken up by EVERYONE else who refused to consider my needs or comfort or what I was asking in order to just....exist alongside them.

And that’s all ANYONE who says similar stuff to me in regards to ANY content is really saying, at the end of the day:

We all have as much right to exist in these allegedly COMMUNAL spaces as anyone else, and its fucked up that so many people think it should always be on us and only us to back away and tuck ourselves into little corners that don’t intrude on anyone else, when nobody else is remotely considerate of doing the same for us. 

Especially not when the only REAL basis for people insisting that there’s nothing wrong with anything they do or say is because there’s MORE of them doing it and saying it than there are people protesting. Its like, lololol does the term tyranny of the majority not mean anything to anyone? Whether or not there’s MORE people doing something than saying hey could you not, has fuck all to do with whether or not people have a right or case for saying....hey could you not.

So....bottom line is, I just don’t fucking do it anymore. Not when I’ve done it most of my life and at the end of the day, the truth is I shouldn’t HAVE to, and should NEVER have had to....because I have as much right to be here as anyone.

So the way I go about it is, I just....set up shop in my little corner of the internet, and I mostly stay here and just say what I want to say and do what I want to do loudly and clearly, so there’s really no fucking confusion about what it is I’m saying or doing and its on everyone else who comes close to determine whether or not they WANT to be here or not. And if they do? If they’re interested in what I have to say about one subject? Then they can damn well listen through what I have to say on another subject, or they can leave and come back later to see if I’ve changed the channel since then. But they don’t get to insist on what programming I put out there, and fuck them for trying to influence that if they do.

And so when it comes to other fans in this fandom....I mostly let them come to me, y’know? I don’t really....go out there seeking out other fans to interact with, I’m just kinda....here, and if what I’m saying is of interest and we end up interacting, that’s cool. And I don’t really mind too much if they’re doing something entirely different elsewhere, cuz this is the part where I’m a petty, stubborn fuck comes into play, lol.....cuz if they want to interact with me regularly, well, whenever these subjects come up, they’re gonna hear what I have to say, and that’s on them and their own damn feelings to sort out. And if it makes them feel guilty or self-conscious, that’s that personal accountability thing - figure out for their own damn selves how to reconcile those things. I’ll still be here when they’re done.

But like I said at the top, that doesn’t mean like.....there’s a difference between interacting and getting close to, and trust me, I do get far more selective about the latter, just because....anyone I’m close to? I care about their comfort and peace of mind just as much as I expect them to prioritize mine. And so I’m damn selective about making sure I even CAN honestly commit to prioritizing the stuff they put out there as being most important to them, every bit as much as whether or not they might do the same for me.....and so y’know, it all kinda sorts itself out on its own, y’know? I’m not in a rush there, and so stuff like we’re talking about doesn’t really tend to fall through the cracks by that point, if that makes sense.

And sometimes the stuff we prioritize and care most about changes, and that changes how much even good friends occupy each other’s spaces and interact, and what I’m saying is....its a process, and not a short one or one that can be sorted out with minimal thought, and the people who think its easy to straddle certain lines or have their cake and eat it too or just never prioritize someone else’s fun over their own, like....they tend to figure out in the long run that this very rarely ever results in anything more than a surface level commitment to THEM anymore than it results in a commitment of any real depth FROM them.

Idk, did all that make sense? I’m not on my meds right now so kinda why I wasn’t intending to respond to this in full right now except oh look at that, I ended up anyway, WHEN WILL I STOP THIS, lmfao.

Anyway. So yeah. That. Hope that answered your question, anon? And sorry if it doesn’t work for you or is disappointing for you or feels like a cop-out. Its just....honestly what I’ve figured out works best for me in the long run, and we all ultimately have to figure out for ourselves what that is for each of us as individuals.....and sometimes that’s just not compatible, and that’s....kinda okay too.