#spiral sliced ham

[definite-human]

I have discovered what all parties and raves are missing and it is not a quiet room you can escape to with the host's cat/dog (though that is also a vital component of any high-volume high-energy party) but rather an insanely chill and affectionate cat hanging out on the seats at the edge of the dance party that you can pet while decompressing

[f4unlette]

𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒 𝑠𝘩𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

꒰ this post is constantly being updated in order to add new foods to the list ꒱

this includes some vegan options, such as meat and dairy substitutes

a more organized list of low calorie food items also found in my meal inspo post including simpler snacks ♡

baby food is generally low in calories. from fruit snacks to meal cups

꒰ low calorie meals ꒱

𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑠:

⌗ strawberries (4cal/each)

⌗ blueberries (57cal/100g)

⌗ raspberries (53cal/100g)

⌗ cherries (50cal/100g)

⌗ grapes (67cal/100g)

⌗ watermelon (30cal/100g)

⌗ granny smith apples (53cal/each)

⌗ russet apple (oven baked) (80cal/each)

⌗ small bananas (89cal/100g)

⌗ peaches (50cal/each)

⌗ lychee (66cal/100g)

⌗ papaya (115cal/275g whole)

⌗ tangerines (35cal/each)

⌗ melon (34cal/100g)

⌗ tomatoes (~22cal/each)

⌗ cherry tomatoes (3cal/each)

⌗ ginger root (80cal/100g)

𝑣𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑎𝑒:

⌗ cucumber (16cal/100g)

⌗ bell pepper (20cal/100g)

⌗ cabbage (25cal/100g)

⌗ mini peppers (9cal/each)

⌗ pumpkin (26cal/100g)

⌗ vegetable mix (20cal/100g)

⌗ asparagus (20cal/100g)

⌗ broccoli (34cal/100g)

⌗ celery (14cal/100g)

⌗ potato (74cal/100g)

⌗ sweet potato (86cal/100g)

⌗ spinach (23cal/100g)

⌗ zucchini (17cal/100g)

⌗ eggplant (25cal/100g)

⌗ carrot (41cal/100g)

⌗ sea moss (5cal/10g)

𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑡:

⌗ chicken breast (165cal/100g)

⌗ chicken burger patty (115cal/each)

⌗ thinly sliced ham (11cal/slice)

⌗ turkey breast (189cal/100g)

⌗ ground beef 90% lean meat (176cal/100g)

𝑓𝑖𝑠𝘩:

⌗ squid (92cal/100g)

⌗ prawns (37cal/100g)

⌗ cod (82cal/100g)

⌗ whitefish (172cal/100g)

⌗ chum salmon (120cal/100g)

⌗ branzino (125cal/100g)

⌗ jellyfish (34cal/100g)

note: only a few species of jellyfish are suitable for human consumption

𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑢𝑏𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑠:

⌗ soft silken tofu (between 45-75cal/100g)

⌗ mushrooms (especially lion’s mane, button, enoki, oyster and portobello) (22cal/100g)

⌗ cauliflower (25cal/100g)

𝑛𝑜𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑦:

⌗ alpro unsweetened almond milk (13cal/100ml)

⌗ alpro soya light milk (22cal/100ml)

⌗ alpro oat and almond milk (23cal/100g)

⌗ alpro plain natural yogurt zero sugar (43cal/100g)

⌗ aldi wheat cream (106cal/50ml)

𝑒𝑔𝑔𝑠, 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑘, 𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑡:

⌗ eggs (78cal/large)

⌗ low fat milk (35cal/100ml)

⌗ milbona high protein shake (67cal/100ml)

⌗ 0% fat greek yogurt (58cal/100g)

⌗ chobani milk & cookies flavored yogurt (60cal)

⌗ protein yogurt (85-90cal/180g)

⌗ yopro shots (58cal)

⌗ zero sugar liquid yogurt (51cal)

⌗ light yogurt and gelatin (15cal)

⌗ laughing cow light cheese triangles (20cal/each)

⌗ babybell light (42cal)

⌗ light string cheese (50cal/each)

⌗ philadelphia light cream cheese (154cal/100g)

⌗ low fat cottage cheese (72cal/100g)

⌗ low fat mozzarella shredded cheese (71cal/30g)

⌗ pasta and meat cooking cream (107cal/50g)

⌗ low fat quark cream cheese (50cal/100g)

𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑠:

⌗ milbona protein pudding (145cal/200g)

⌗ zero sugar jelly (10cal/each)

𝑐𝘩𝑜𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒:

⌗ lindt dark chocolate with salted caramel (52cal/piece)

⌗ highkey chocolate pearls (70cal/33 pieces)

⌗ skinny dipped cups (70cal/cup)

⌗ 7th heaven white & cookies (27cal/square)

⌗ lovo hazelnut milk chocolate (18cal/square)

⌗ mini kit kat (86cal)

⌗ feastables (160cal/35g bar)

⌗ kinder milk chocolate bars (71cal/each)

⌗ gatsby fudge brownie bar (180cal/80g bar)

𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚:

⌗ less & taste mucci salted caramel ice cream (351cal/whole tub of 300g)

⌗ paw patrol ice cream (56cal/each)

⌗ arctic zero cookie shake (150cal/pint)

⌗ nick’s swedish style ice cream (260cal/pint)

⌗ halo top pops (50cal/each)

⌗ arctic zero non dairy cake batter ice cream (160cal/473ml)

⌗ enlightened cookies & cream (120cal/eerving)

⌗ favorite day mint cookies ‘n cream (360cal/pint)

⌗ zero sugar vanilla ice cream (57cal/50g)

⌗ little moons mochi ice cream (70-80cal/each)

⌗ stevia sugar native açaí (54cal/100g)

⌗ fruit ice cream (54cal/each)

⌗ mini milk (35cal/each)

⌗ push pop (70cal/each)

⌗ fruit spiral (46cal/each)

⌗ halo top ice cream

⌗ yasso frozen greek yogurt bars (130cal/each)

𝑠𝑛𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠:

⌗ prozis belgian chocolate protein bar (118cal)

⌗ sesame and honey bars (45cal/each)

⌗ rice cakes (23cal/each)

⌗ bolacha maria (26cal/each)

⌗ salt water cookies (12cal/each)

⌗ apple and cinnamon ring cookies (25cal/each)

⌗ cacao toast (37cal/each)

⌗ seaweed snacks (30cal/pack)

⌗ plain popcorn (120cal/30g)

⌗ fibre one donuts (90cal)

⌗ fibre one brownies (70cal)

⌗ marshmallows (13cal/each)

⌗ smart sweets sourmelon bites (130cal/whole)

⌗ drizzilicious s’mores bites (90cal/whole)

⌗ zero sugar gum

𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑝𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡𝑠:

⌗ konjac jelly (0-7cal)

⌗ blédina fruit mix (peach, pumpkin) (36cal)

⌗ super breakfast (apple, quark, banana) (73cal)

⌗ milbona strawberry skyr (54cal)

𝑑𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑢𝑖𝑡𝑠:

⌗ cashews (9cal/each)

⌗ pistachios (4cal/each)

⌗ chestnuts (37cal/each)

⌗ pitted dates (20cal/each)

⌗ dried apricots (60cal/30g)

⌗ jujube (79cal/100g)

⌗ almonds (7cal/each)

𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑏𝑠:

⌗ mini brioche croissants (79cal/each)

⌗ rye bread (125cal/50g)

⌗ extra thin toast (77cal/20g)

⌗ mini tortillas (76cal/each)

⌗ sliced brown bread (45cal/slice)

⌗ small rice papers (20cal/each)

⌗ mission corn tortillas (25cal/each)

𝑠𝑎𝑢𝑐𝑒𝑠:

⌗ soy sauce (8cal/tbsp)

⌗ ketchup (8cal/tbsp)

⌗ hot sauce (11cal/100ml)

⌗ mustard (8cal/tbsp)

⌗ tomato sauce (38cal/100g)

⌗ walden farms sauces (0cal)

⌗ hummus (25cal/10g)

𝑗𝑎𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠:

⌗ casa de matheus sugar free jam (8-10cal/portion)

⌗ walden farms jams (0cal)

⌗ flavored sea moss gel (10cal/30g)

⌗ prozis maple syrup zero (2cal/9g)

⌗ reddi wip zero fat whipped cream (5cal/serving)

𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑥𝑒𝑑:

⌗ canned corn (82cal/100g)

⌗ bean sprouts (11cal/100g)

⌗ kimchi (16cal/100g)

⌗ natural tuna (88cal/tin)

⌗ hearts of palm (9cal/each)

⌗ chicken or vegetable stock cubes (7cal/2,5g)

⌗ aldi vegetable gyoza (157cal/for all 10)

𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑠:

⌗ diet soda: coca cola, pepsi max, sprite, dr pepper, poppi, candy can (0.5cal/100ml)

⌗ tea: chamomile, nettle, black, ginger, hibiscus, moringa, green, matcha powder (5cal/2g)

⌗ black coffee

⌗ sunlover pomegranate w/stevia (0cal)

⌗ monster energy zero (13cal/500ml)

⌗ red bull zero (5cal/250ml)

⌗ sparkling water (1cal)

⌗ lipton kombucha (36cal/330ml)

⌗ prime (25cal/500ml bottle)

𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙:

⌗ barista’s coffee co sugar free drink syrup (0cal)

⌗ zero calorie sweetener: stevia, splenda, erythritol, monk fruit

𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑠:

⌗ cinnamon

⌗ black pepper

⌗ paprika

⌗ garlic powder (10cal/3g)

note: nearly every single spice contains around 6 calories per 2.5g

𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠:

⌗ chia seeds (65cal/15g)

⌗ oats (150cal/40g)

⌗ super breakfast oat mix (145cal/40g)

⌗ wheat cereal (100cal/30g)

⌗ fitness fiber 0% added sugar honey or cacao cereal (105cal/30g)

⌗ corn flakes (113cal/30g)

⌗ fitness protein cacao bar 0% added sugar (66cal)

⌗ skinny rice bars (between 45-70cal/each)

𝑙𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑚𝑒:

⌗ lentils (88cal/25g raw)

⌗ fava beans (54cal/100g raw)

⌗ edamame beans (122cal/100g)

⌗ chickpeas (97cal/100g)

𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑠:

⌗ konjac noodles or rice (18-20cal/pack)

⌗ black rice (170cal/50g raw)

𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑧𝑒𝑛:

⌗ oriental vegetable mix (17cal/75g)

(tags 4 reach only)

[darlingdreadwrites]

cam 5

pairing: Edward Nashton x GN!Reader*

part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

summary: Edward is finally rewarded with the warmth of your touch and affection – or is he?

contains: reader working at a bookstore, slight dom elements, obsessed Edward, religious imagery, suggestive touching, riding

warnings: MDNI, *AFAB!Reader but i don't specify gender, dub-con, stalking, degradation

word count: 3.1k

masterlist

For a moment, Edward feels as though he is floating. He is suspended in a massive plane of darkness, unable to move. He doesn’t remember the last time his mind was so quiet, so peaceful. It was as if he was in a realm between time and space – until he finally opens his eyes.

He was in the bookstore – your bookstore – standing in front of two bookshelves. You were there, standing in between them, shelving books. The sight of you surrounds him with a warmth that emitted from where you stand, ethereal and glowing. You were something angelic, and yet undeniably human. Edward could feel the weight of your presence settle in his chest like a blessing. You were an impossible vision, a being neither entirely of earth nor heaven, a force that demanded worship and devotion. The shelves around you seem to bend toward you, as though bowing in reverence.

The room stretches upward, spiraling to an unseen paradise. The air feels thick, and his view of the world is heavy. The shelves move never-endingly; they were no longer neat rows of books but towering spirals getting sucked into a luminous void behind your figure.

His breath catches as you finally turn to look at him, a kind smile on your face. You approach him with the grace of someone who already knew his every thought, every longing—someone who had chosen him. Your steps are soundless on the polished floors, and he feels an impossible pull to be closer to you, as though his soul is tethered to yours. He can almost not feel the pain in his chest. A throbbing, pulsing hurt that recedes once you get close enough. Or maybe it was that the pain had consumed him enough that he grew numb to it. It doesn’t matter in the end, you’re here now. You are warm, kind, and comforting – a stark contrast to the strange, twisted cathedral around you.

Your hands are soft, the kind of touch that felt both maternal and intimate. You cup his face like you were cradling something precious. Your thumbs graze over his cheeks in a way that makes his eyes sting. He is too afraid of you disappearing if he blinks. Your face tilts, studying him like he has any worth. He is fragile and tender, so tender. Edward feels cherished – safe. His knees shake slightly under the weight of this moment, but he fights it. He should be on his knees before you, but he wanted to stay between the warmth of your hands. As he gazes up at you, he can’t help but tremble.

For a moment, there is only peace – a powerful, sacred peace.

A whimper escapes him as you apply pressure to his face, fingers digging into his skin. Your nails sting while you grip him tightly, the smile on your face unwavering. Your fingers press harder, squeezing so hard that his mouth falls open with a sharp cry. And just as the pain started to become overwhelming, your grip loosens.

One of your hands slides down, dragging your nails over the curve of his neck, down his chest, and it burns. Edward shudders under your touch, the sensation not entirely painful, not entirely comforting – just too much. He swallows hard. The heat of desire and shame tangle together in a painful knot.

Then, the words came. Soft, lilting, but slicing through him.

“You’re disgusting.”

The words – so cruel – come from a place where malice and sweetness are one and the same. Your smile, still welcoming and pleasant, belies the puncture of your statement. His confusion makes him dizzy. There is nothing that feels right about the words, nothing logical about them, and yet… they are the only thing that make sense. They are what he needs to hear. He flinches, his body responding involuntarily.

His heart hammers in his chest as you tilt his chin up, your thumb pressing into his skin in a way that makes him ache. He feels small and insignificant under your gaze. The hand that wasn’t on his face travels lower, palming and pressing against his groin with deliberate force. His mind screams at him to reject the sensation, but his body betrays him. He jerks, hips twitching into your palm – seeking more of that sinful pressure. He can’t breathe, can’t think as his chest heaves. The shame twists inside him as his eyes widen.

“Please…” he whimpers, his voice cracking as the smallest shift in your hold on him causes him to moan.

You lean in, your face hovering just inches from his. Your beath was warm on his trembling lips.

“Filthy, filthy thing,” you whisper, the words ghosting against his skin.

The bookstore around you both begins to collapse, the arches crumbling into darkness. The shelves twist, warp, bend in on themselves. The golden light dims to an abyssal void – yet you remain bathed in a holy light. He is consumed by you – by your presence, by your touch, by the haunting words. You hold him in place, your smile syrupy and mocking as you get closer to him. He reaches for you just as your lips brush his.

Edward wakes up with a strangled cry, drenched in sweat. He bolts upright, wide eyes attempting to make out anything in the darkness of his apartment. His heart pounds like a drum, and painfully. The sensation of your touch still scorches his skin as his mind races. He touches his face where your hands had been.

There is a purpose to that dream, he rationalizes, you’re calling to me – touching me beyond this plane of reality.

Edward sits at the edge of his bed, staring at the empty coffee mug on his desk. The remnants of the dream still cling to him like a phantom touch. He’s spent the better part of an hour replaying it in his head. The way your voice had curled around that single phrase – “You’re disgusting” – makes him shiver even now. He is repulsed by the fact his body seems to enjoy how you insulted him with such a loving tone.

He needs to get out of his apartment.

It was suffocating him now. It was logical to get out, wasn’t it? He has been cooped up here for too long, buried in the glow of his monitors and the labyrinth of code he’s been pouring over for weeks. Normal people went out to public places. They sat in cafes, walked in parks, and – yes – they read in bookstores. It wasn’t suspicious for him to do so. It wasn’t strange.

I need to take care of myself.

The thin veneer of his words failed to hide the truth he is unwilling to admit. His attention drifts to the books relevant to his research on his desk. And now, here he is, preparing to go back to the same bookstore under the flimsiest of excuses.

Edward stands and moves to his closet, fingers brushing over the very few neatly hung shirts as he tries to decide what to wear. It wasn’t like this was a date – it wasn’t – but he can’t help the flutter of nerves in his chest as he debates between the gray sweater that makes him look softer or the green button-up that matches his eyes.

He settles on the sweater. Soft was better. Non-threatening. Approachable.

Next comes his hair. He stands in front of the cracked mirror, meticulously combing it into place only to muss it up again. He runs his fingers through it over and over, muttering under his breath how it refused to cooperate. Finally, he gives up and leaves it as it is. He wipes his glasses clean on the corner of his sweater, holding them up to the light to check for smudges. He can’t help but picture you noticing them, leaning in close with a teasing smirk to point out a speck he’d missed. The thought makes his cheeks flush, and he shoves the glasses back onto his face almost frantically.

“Okay,” he whispers, taking a deep breath and facing his mirror again. He attempts at practicing a warm, friendly smile – but it seems too unnatural on his face. He raises a hand and waves, practicing what he’d do if he saw you. “Hello. How, how are you today?”

It was completely normal for me to rehearse like this. I’ve seen it in movies.

Doubt creeps in as he assures himself.

He sits back down on his mattress, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. Was this really okay? As self-reproach gnaws at him, he replays the dream – your voice just as sharp and cutting as you call him disgusting.

Edward’s stomach churns. Maybe he is disgusting. He shuts his eyes tight, trying to block out the image of your kindhearted, smiling face from the dream. The image of your hands had roamed over him, one of them traveling lower and lower until—

“No,” he snaps, standing abruptly. He can’t let his mind go there; he can’t let his body failing him again before he stepped out the door. He doesn’t have time to touch himself – to relieve himself – again.

He paces the room, his steps uneven and hurried. He mutters to himself that it’s fine to go to your bookstore with no other reason than to just be there.

With a determined breath, he grabs his coat and slings it over his shoulders. He hesitates only once more at the door. His hand stills over the knob as your voice echoes in his mind again, soft and cruel all at once. “Filthy, filthy thing.”

His grip tightens, his knuckles whitening around the doorknob as he shoves the memory aside. Instead, he focuses on the warmth of your touch – the comfort he felt as you held his face in your hands.

Edward steps out into the deafening silence of the hallway, the door closing behind him with a resolute click. He tells himself that he isn’t walking toward you. He isn’t trying to chase the fleeting connection he felt in the dream. He is only going to read.

And that isn’t a lie. Not entirely.

Edward pauses in the doorway of the bookstore for a moment, overwhelmed by the familiar scent of paper. There were a decent amount of patrons this evening, the distant hum of conversation creating a low symphony of activity. Edward’s gaze sweeps the room until he catches sight of you. You stand behind the counter, your back to him as you help someone. Even from this distance, you are magnetic. Your presence commands his focus with the same intensity as the figure in his dream—

His heart beats so fast it feels like it might bruise his ribs. The dream! It was vivid and consuming, filling his chest with reverence, dread, and arousal.

“Just… sit,” he tells himself, forcing his legs to move away from you.

He wanders through the aisles, feigning interest in the messily arranged books but barely registers the titles. His sole focus was finding the perfect vantage point. At last, he finds it – a small table tucked into a corner with a direct line of sight to the counter.

He sinks into the chair with a small smile, placing the book he’d grabbed at random on the table in front of him. His fingers fidget with the edges of the pages. His eyes flick up to you every few seconds despite his best efforts to focus on the text.

Stop staring, he berates himself. You’re making it obvious.

But your pull is too strong. Each glance was a sin, a stolen moment of connection.

Edward’s mind begins to betray him as the dream bleeds into reality. In the dim bookstore light, your form seems to glow faintly. The edges of your silhouette blur and he blinks hard, trying to dispel the illusion.

“You’re disgusting.”

He whips his head to the right, a soft gasp on his lips. You were not there – nobody was. The words echo in his mind and his stomach twists. He snaps his attention back to his book, suddenly feeling like all eyes were on him. You didn’t say that. You wouldn’t – not to me.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he feels your hands snake all over his body. He was starting to feel remorseful again, but it isn’t enough to make him leave.

Then it happens.

You turn, making eye contact with him almost immediately, as if you had felt his presence. For a moment, your eyes meet, and you smile. A smile that was merely a polite gesture to others, but to him, it was as inconsequential as it was devastating.

Edward’s heart hammers so loudly that he is certain you are able to hear it. His face flushes, and he quickly looks back down to read the words swimming before his eyes in a meaningless blur.

You saw me.

The thought reverberates in his mind, equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. He clings to the image of your smile. It is everything to him. A slow smile spreads across his face, eyes wild and glued to a single word on the page. “Passion.” It is almost fitting – actually, it is perfectly fitting.

The minutes tick by, stretching into an eternity as he sits there and sneaks glances when he thinks you won’t notice. He can’t stop – not even when each look feels like a delicious risk.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a darker thought begins to spread. This isn’t enough. Sitting here, watching you from afar. It is a poor substitute for what he truly wants. What he truly needs.

Edward swallows dryly, his hands gripping the book as his imagination runs wild. He pictures you looking at him the way you had in the dream – not with polite indifference. But with a look of intensity of someone who wanted him.

You’re touching yourself – or touching him, he can’t tell from the proximity – breathing heavily and looking at him with half-lidded eyes. Neither of you are wearing any clothes. He can feel your skin, but his mind refuses to conjure up what your body might look like even as he desperately tries to look down at you. You both moan, sweat covering both of your bodies in a sticky tangle of limbs. The fantasy spirals, painting an intense picture of you closing the distance between you. What he believes is your perfect, naked body on top of his – thighs caging his hips and grinding sensually as you throw your head back in pleasure. He's embarrassingly loud, sputtering and panting like a dog while you’re mewling softly and elegantly.

He grunts in frustration, trying to squint and make out your peaked nipples or how your heat rides his length in vain. His hands grab onto your hips to bring you impossibly closer to his stuttering hips – he was so close. You look down at him to smile sweetly. It softens into something fond as you lean down to whisper in his ear. He can almost feel your breath on him, hear the saccharine venom of your words—

“Stop it,” he says under his breath, shaking his head to dislodge the fantasy.

He needs to leave. He’s throbbing with a discomfort that borders on pain.

Edward stands, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as he pushes it back. He grabs the book and returns it to the nearest shelf, his movements clumsy. As he makes his way to the door, he can’t resist stealing one last glance at you. You are busy again, helping yet another customer with the same warm grin that had shattered his composure moments before.

The bell chimes violently as he steps outside, the cold evening air hitting him like a splash of cold water. That’s what he needs – a cold shower. He shoves his hands into his pockets, his mind buzzing with visions of him and you. He was disgusting.

The water steams down Edward’s back in scalding rivulets, but it does little to wash away the lingering sensations of the day. His shower was supposed to be freezing – a penance to purge himself of the memory of your smile and the fantasy that followed. Yet, it hadn’t taken long for his resolve to crumble.

Edward had given in – his mind stuck on every detail of your fleeting glance at the bookstore, every imagined touch from the dream and fantasy. He’d cursed himself through gritted teeth even as his body betrayed him, chasing an unbearable high that left him slumped against the shower wall. He felt ashamed and hollow.

Steam fills the small bathroom, the heat now oppressive as his mind begins to clear. Edward slides down on the wet tiles, burying his face in his hands. The sound of water drowns out his sobs.

The words from his dream ricochet through him, cutting through the fog of his exhaustion. He winces, stomach feeling like it’s coiling at the memory – no longer making him feel aroused.

No, you’re wrong, he protests pathetically. I’m not disgusting. This isn’t disgusting.

He clings to the threadbare justification like a lifeline, dragging himself back to his feet as the water cools to a lukewarm drizzle. Edward shuts off the shower, the sudden silence amplifies the turmoil in his mind.

He dries himself and avoids his reflection in the mirror, unable to face the pale figure staring back at him. Instead, he focuses on his hands – hands that had sinned against you. The same hands that would someday cradle your face like you had done his. If only he could make you understand.  

Back in his room, Edward plops down into the creaky chair at his desk. Like a robot, he searches for your computer. The webcam feed blinks at him, and there you are again. At the sight of you, he almost wants to cry once more. The smile from the bookstore lingers in his mind. His eyes drank in the soft curve of your lips, the way your hands moved as you organized something on your desk. The image of your hands from his fantasies resurfaces, making his heart ache.

“Thank you.” Edward wets his lips, his voice a dry whisper in the quiet room. “For bringing this angel into my life.”

He clasps his hands together, fingers interlocking tightly in prayer. He isn’t sure who he was thanking – a god he’d long since abandoned, fate, or perhaps the dream itself. All he knows is that he feels chosen, as though your existence is a message meant solely for him.

The fantasy builds again as he stares at you, unbidden and unstoppable. In his mind, he sees you smiling at him the way you had in the dream – soft and cruel all at once, yet impossibly kind.

[yokohamapound]

BSD Characters React to Getting Shat On By A Bird 🕊️

No, I'm totally not writing these to make myself feel better after getting bird-splattered on my way home from work. T-T

Characters: Osamu Dazai, Nakahara Chuuya, Kunikida Doppo, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Nakajima Atsushi, Sigma

Contents: 💩

Osamu Dazai

Dazai might react in one of two ways.

If he's on his own, it's a muted, annoyed kind of disgust. He just feels the impact and sighs.

"Ugh, really?"

He might shove his head into the Yokohama river to try and wash it out. Whether or not he remembers to pull his head up again is another story.

If he's around other people, however, Dazai hams it up more than a pig in a blanket.

His whole body clenches, his shoulders hunching toward his ears and his hands hovering near his hair but not quite touching it. His face is an exaggerated rictus of disgust.

"Get it off, get it off, get it off! Eww!"

He runs at Kunikida and tries to wipe it off on him, only to get himself punted across the room. That isn't enough to stop Dazai, though. He'll theatrically pour water over himself, retching, gagging, and bemoaning his bad luck and the cruel fates for doing this to him.

Nakahara Chuuya

Thankfully, Chuuya's lovely red hair is safe from the bird shit thanks to his hat, but on the other hand, his hat. He freezes as soon as he feels the splatter against his hat. Reaching up slowly, he takes the brim of his hat between thumb and forefinger and lifts it off his head.

Chuuya's face contorts with anger and disgust. There's shit on his hat. There's shit on his hat.

He resists the urge to drop the hat in disgust, since that might damage it further. Instead his ire snaps upward toward the bird that just ass-bombed him. Little does it know that its victim is not bound by the laws of gravity. Chuuya can follow it.

And that he fucking does.

He shoots into the air, cracking the asphalt underfoot, and goes gunning after the hapless bird, which is probably terrified to find a pissed-off ginger zooming after it at mach speeds.

Later, once the bird is 'taken care of' Mafia-style, Chuuya will take his soiled hat to a specialist cleaning place. Yes, he's got a hat cleaning place—this is Chuuya we're talking about.

Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida does not have time for this. Perhaps it is a personal failing, but he didn't account for the potential of being shat on by a bird en route to the office in the morning. Now he's standing there with egg on his face and crap on his hair, regretting his life choices.

Frustration builds in him like a volcano, but he forces himself to take a deep breath. As long as he is calm and rational about this, it should not impact his precious schedule too much.

Thankfully, he does have all manner of supplies to hand. Namely a water bottle and a handkerchief to try and clean himself off as best he can in the nearest reflective surface. He uses his handy dandy notebook to conjure up a solid shampoo bar and cleans himself up.

All in all, he only ends up being three minutes, thirty-seven seconds late to the office. No one even notices, but Kunikida is left irked for the rest of the day. Also, he doesn't know how but he's sure Dazai is behind it somehow. Maybe he's been teaching the birds how to target blonde men with glasses, preparing months in advance for just this day.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Akutagawa goes still, and his eyes go very, very wide, until you feel like you're staring down tunnels into the Abyss. The bird guano is stark white against his dark hair. His nostrils flare.

"RASHOUMON."

A tendril of darkness slices from the back of his coat and slashes the bird in midair, sending feathers spiralling down to dust the earth around him.

He stares down at the offending creature's carcass like an god of dark justice.

"Foul beast."

Growing up in the slums, Akutagawa was used to being dirty, covered in mud, blood, and all kinds of filth, but he will not take the disrespect of any man nor beast, least of all a pigeon.

Nakajima Atsushi

This is not the first time for poor, unfortunate Atsushi, and probably not the last. He flinches when the splatter lands on top of his head, automatically closing his eyes. He's used to being spat on or having food poured over his head.

"Ah, jeez."

At least the bird crap isn't personal.

Atsushi probably just snips off the locks of befouled hair and then scrubs his hands. His hair is already a tufty mess, and he's usually too busy running around for the Agency to run home and shower again. That is, until Kunikida hears what happens and sprays him with disinfectant.

Sigma

Poor Sigma. Doesn't he have enough on his plate without being target practice for a bird who doesn't eat enough fibre? He's under enough stress already.

The bird shit is the tipping point, and he might just cry.

His face twitches when he feels it. The cold dollop on his head, ruining his pretty hair, making his neck want to retract back into his spine. His eyes widen as he looks upward to see the feckless offender flying away, soon lost to the horizon as it flies beyond the reach of the Sky Casino.

Sigma gags, his hands fluttering a little as he doesn't know what to do. He's only three years old and this has never happened to him before.

He runs toward his private quarters, lest anyone see the General Manager looking so undignified. He flings himself into his bathroom and sticks his head directly under the shower, running the water as hot as he can stand.

He washes it twice. Thrice. Then wraps it in a hair mask and huddles in his quarters with a stiff drink and his hair in a towel. Poor thing.

[contentment-of-cats]

Holidays, shipping, and generational differences.

When I was little, getting fruit for Christmas was a big deal. We lived in the northeast, and once the apples came in, that was it until spring. Yes, you bought stuff from the produce section, but it was pricey. I remember avocados from Florida costing a dollar - about $7.00 today. My Gran cooked and preserved and froze as if the grocery store would close tomorrow. I remember Christmas fruit boxes arriving and the joy on her face, and then right into the kitchen to start processing it.

I thought about it when I turned four out of eighteen pears into a pear/almond sour cream crumb cake. Eight pears are being turned into pear and ginger preserves in my slow cooker. I am having one - sliced, with shaved prosciutto, walnuts, and Gorgonzola - for lunch. The last pear's fate is undetermined. Pears go bad so fast.

I also have a ham as in one whole ham spiral sliced, a whole-ass brisket showed up this morning, and approximately one tree of citrus.

The guy in the Days of Christmas carol should have just given her food.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

my mom for some reason bought a whole spiral cut ham and so it's time for my favorite "low effort quick and easy healthy and delicious dinner with Lu, who just got off a 10 hour shift and is, perhaps, Hangry":

don't talk to me scramble

(so named because when I come home from work and am eating a late supper I want everyone to shut up and let me eat in peace)

YOU WILL NEED:

3 of the biggest eggs you've got - 4 if they're smaller than LargeTM

ham: deli cut works here but I literally just grabbed the spiral cut ham and ripped pieces off with my bare hands until I had a generous handful of Ham Bits (you can probably use whatever lunchmeat you have in your fridge for this tbh)

about like 3 tbsp of cream cheese?? Gordon Ramsay it babey

one(1) slice of pepper jack cheese or whatever kind you like

big handful of spinach (frozen works but I used a slightly wilted leftover salad since it needs eaten soon) or other vegetables of choice. bagged frozen stuff is great in eggs

optional carb (bread, tortilla, biscuits, et cetera)

LET'S CRACK THIS THING.

butter or oil in your pan. crack ya eggs. throw the Ham Bits in immediately or else they will be Cold. once eggs start to cook throw in your SpinchTM or ~vegetals of choice~ so that they'll wilt/heat up. this is the point where you want to toast your bread or heat a tortilla or whatnot, if you're into that kind of thing. once eggs are MOSTLY cooked, toss in your pepper jack and cheem creams and stir it all around until it's melted. it will probably look a bit watery — if this is a texture no-no I suggest making this in omelette form, bc yes, cream cheese is awesome in an omelette. serve with Optional Carb if you wis, or by itself, possibly eaten directly out of the pan you cooked it in. you are adulting so well. your tastebuds and your body think you're the coolest 👍 go forth full, happy, and proud of yourself

[fleshadept]

simultaneously living on my own for the first time & being poor sucks in a lot of ways but i am so appreciative of everything these days. food is so expensive, and it goes bad quickly if you're not paying attention, but it takes months to go bad if you freeze it. i eat a lot of sandwiches and enjoy eggs for breakfast so i bought a spiral-sliced ham which was more expensive than regular ham up front obviously but it's lasted me more than a month and makes me feel fancy to warm up a slice in the pan with my eggs or put it on my sandwich. spices can be super cheap as things go and i've been having a lot of fun adding random ones to my regular dishes to make them even a little better. the things you can do with maruchan ramen (try adding sriracha. oml) is absolutely amazing. good food makes my whole day.

i didn't have a silverware tray (container? standy-uppy-thing?) in the dishwasher when i moved in but something went wrong with the dishwasher and maintenance gave me one when they fixed it! i've never been more excited to load the dishes. it looks so neat in there now. keeping my space clean now that it's my space in general just feels so much more satisfying.

i don't know. a lot of the money stuff sucks and it's stressful but i've been really surprised about how much i've been able to appreciate and enjoy things i didn't before. and finding little things to be way too excited about is so nice

[strqyr]

very intrigued re: your thoughts on cinder’s grimm arm but I’m not sure its symbolism thus far supports your point.

like to me it’s a sign of salem’s power and control over her. it’s creeping up her body and eating her as she does more and more evil to serve a master that doesn’t care about her.

i think if she dies the arm dies with her but if she lives she lives without the arm, just like i think the only way she survives the story is if she breaks free from salem.

also i just feel like it can’t feel good to have grimm be a part of you and i want good things for cinder

i want to pre-face this by saying that my thoughts spiraled from the fairly popular theory that summer tried to destroy / 'purify' salem with her silver eyes and obv it didn't work ( and if you subscribe to the theory that salem got her veins as a result of that, it might have made things 'worse' ) so like. the implications are there.

this might also be all over the place so sorry in advance i just woke up lol

anyway. back to cinder. they've clearly paralleled the grimm arm with the shock collar which definitely muddles the ground re: the fate of the arm, buuuuuut there are some interesting points here as well as differences.

for one, cinder doesn't take the collar off until after the madame is dead and the fight with rhodes is over, signifying a power struggle—the madame shocks cinder to no affect; she holds no power over cinder any more with or without the collar—and the main failure of rhodes—he was the huntsman supposed to help, but cinder only took the collar of after his death.

in V8 cinder and salem already had their power struggle which resulted in salem having to give 'concessions' ( for the lack of better term ) to cinder lest she wanted to lose her bc cinder was going to do her own thing ( and almost getting herself killed. no good ) rather than follow salem's orders. and then cinder lied to salem who does not like being lied to so either she pulled it off successfully ( doubtful with how much she hammed it up ) or salem let it go bc she's got two relics now and reprimanding cinder would ruin the moment of success.

something something balance cannot be restored with force or calculations true balance finds it own equilibrium it only requires love and the patience to see things through in the end something something the villains do be getting it.

and through it all, the grimm arm remained.

unlike the shock collar, too, the grimm arm cannot be easily removed; slicing it off won't work as it will just grow back ( which begs the question of it's origin, as regrowing is not regular grimm behavior ), and, well. silver eyeing it is a bit of an odd choice when that's the reason cinder lost her arm in the first place, so... how do you remove it?

also, thinking about silver eyes and grimm, specifically ruby challenging maria's notion that the eyes only work against grimm bc she used them against cinder, "perhaps there was something that you weren't seeing" <- obvious answer is the grimm arm but atlas arc has come and gone, ruby has seen the arm a plenty and has had zero reaction to it re: why she can use her powers against cinder, which makes me think that this conversation in an episode titled DEAD END has more to it; either that there's more to silver eyes than "they only work against grimm" or that "something you weren't seeing" is less about something physical like the grimm arm and more about cinder herself, i.e. cinder is not a monster who needs to be eye-lazered on sight but a human being and that maybe it would be better to understand why she's the way she is rather than going pew-pew.

also also, as far as any villain -> hero arc that cinder may or may not be going through, i think it would be more poignant if she had the grimm arm through it rather than chopping it off as a sign of it beginning. ya know, like. despite all the negatives that come with it, the grimm arm is also beneficial for cinder in that she can siphon maiden powers that she wants with it, so if she has it until the end, any development would be more meaningful if she chooses to not use it rather than removing it altogether. it's the difference between "would but can't" vs "could but won't".

and yeah the arm growing is a concern so that's. A Thing. but i think there's like. how much does cinder and / or salem even know about this stuff. like i could see cinder agreeing to having a grimm arm bc maiden powers but not knowing exactly what having a grimm arm entails—i.e. it was not an informed choice—but does salem know either or is she just experimenting? cos i feel like that also changes thing like is this intentional negligence or is this uncharted territory for everyone involved? idk.

what i do know is that i like the grimm aesthetic tho and i would be sad to see it go :( but that's the character design gremlin in me talking.

[fluffyuri]

I understand, Lady Lucoa. I’ll be right back with your offering.

The individual leaves and comes back with a feast of epic proportions that was, hopefully, fit for a goddess such as Quetzalcoatl. Chicken cacciatore, chopped mutton, a boiled lobster, spiral-sliced and honey-glazed ham, wagyu beef, cooked salmon, sichuan curried shrimp, jambalaya, and a classic apple pie

Those were only fancy stuff as the individual remembered Lucoa’s comment about modern technology, so with it they added stuff like, burgers, fries, pizzas, calzones, onion rings, chips of all flavors, all kinds of fast food really, and even some unorthodox foods such as deep-fried oreos and a few loafs of pumpkin cracker bread.

I hope this all is to your liking, my Lady. And with it I say, bon appetit.

"Oh my, certainly a larger offering than I was expecting. Back when I was getting started last time the offerings were much smaller. And what a selection."

"Again certainly better than sacrifices." She mumbles to herself, while idly eating some of the feast. "I've heard there's still a few deities still wanting harsher offerings, I don't get it. Clearly they haven't tried human foods. Maybe trying to push to be a god again would be worth the effort."

[cagemasterfantasy]

Honeyed Ham with Pineapple Gravy

Serves 10 to 14

Ingredients: 1 Small (10-pound) spiral sliced, bone in ham, preferably shank-end, 2 Cups unsweetened pineapple juice, 3/4 Cup honey, 1/3 Cup packed light brown sugar, 2 Teaspoons Dijon mustard, plus 1 tablespoon, 1/4 Teaspoon ground cloves, or to taste, Freshly ground black pepper, 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, 1 Shallot, finely chopped, 2 Teaspoons finely chopped fresh thyme, Kosher salt, 1 Tablespoon cornstarch, 1 Cup finely chopped fresh pineapple

Remove the ham from the refrigerator 1 hour and 45 minutes before cooking so that it starts at room temperature.

Preheat the oven to 300 with a rack in the lower-middle of the oven. Cover a large roasting pan or rimmed baking sheet with foil. Set a roasting rack in the roasting pan and cover that with foil, shiny-side up, leaving overhangs sufficient to fully wrap the ham once it's on the rack. Position the ham cut-side down on the rack, cover with the overhanging foil, and crimp the edges to seal the ham. Bake until the ham registers 120 on an instant -read thermometer, 3 hours 15 minutes.

At around the 3-hour mark, in a skillet over medium-high heat, bring the pineapple juice to a boil. Continue to boil until the juice is reduced to 1 cup, 9 minutes. Pour off and 2/3 cup of the reduced juice for the sauce.

Add 1/2 cup of the honey, the brown sugar, 2 teaspoons mustard, cloves, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper, to the remaining 1/3 cup reduced juice in the skillet and whisk to combine.

Remove the ham from the oven and adjust the oven temperature to 400. Peel back the foil and, working carefully with the hot ham, pour as much of the accumulated ham juices as possible into a large measuring cup or bowl and set aside. Brush half the pineapple juice mixture evenly over the exposed surfaces of the ham (don't worry about the cut side). Leaving the foil open, bake until glossy and beginning to caramelize, 15 minutes. Brush the remaining mixture over the ham and continue baking, again until glossy and caramelized, 8 minutes.

Remove the ham from the oven and again working carefully, pour as much of the accumulated ham juices as possible into the bowl with the first batch (you may have as much as 1 1/2 cups) and set aside. Fold the foil back up over the ham to tent loosely and let rest for 15 minutes.

In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the shallot, thyme, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and cook, stirring, until the shallot softens, 2 minutes. Add the 2/3 cup reserved reduced pineapple juice, the remaining 1/4 cup honey, and remaining 1 tablespoon mustard. Whisk to combine and bring to a simmer, 2 minutes.

In a bowl or measuring cup, whisk the cornstarch and 2/3 cup of the reserved ham juices until uniform. Add to the saucepan and cook, stirring until thickened, 1 minute. Add the chopped pineapple and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, to heat the sauce through, 1 1/2 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasoning with additional salt and pepper, if necessary. Carve the ham and serve with the warm sauce.

No i am not sourcing this 1 they are literally using the picture from the book

Source: Heroes Feast

[official-breakfast-sandwich-poll]

BREAKFAST SANDWICH POLL (OFFICIAL)

[mpregstoriesetc]

Symbiotic relationship

Our guy Kyle here found this egg as he was strolling home, He placed the egg on one of the table tops and was going about his business, until he hears cracking and sloshing noises, Kyle now intrigued with curiosity, peeks over to the egg, wondering what could be inside, as the egg pulsates and opens, revealing a gelatinous slime like being, colored in a orange hue, the newborn creature pokes its head out, looking over its surrounding, it spots Kyle who is wide eyed with curiosity and confusion, as the creature crawls out of its egg, it instinctively crawls in Kyle's direction, as Kyle stumbles backwards to the floor, inching away from the creature, Kyle being a skinny guy didn't really stand a chance if it came to a fight, even against this giant salamander looking creature, as Kyle backed up to a wall, He stares helplessly as the creature starts rubbing its face in his foot, almost like he imprinted the creature, as Kyle slowly lets down his guard, the creature slowly approaches him, crawling up his body and into his torso, staring at him face to face, with a look of curiosity on both their faces, Kyle reaches over and starts petting the creature as the creature rubs its face to his hand. "kinda cute in a slimy way aren't ya?" Kyle giggled, as he continued petting the creature, a little grumble noise comes out of the little guy, " hungry aren't we?" as Kyle stands up and picks up the creature, placing him on the table counter as he digs in his kitchen to see what the little fella would eat, he pulled out all sorts of food, but what caught the little guys attention was the slice of ham, the little fella went straight for it, the creature doesn't appear to have a mouth but manages to digest the ham with contact to its gelatinous skin, as it is consuming/absorbing the ham, green like markings and patterns start to glow across its body, as it continues to eat more and more meat, the Green markings glow even harder, as the creature seemed satisfied, it leaps up to Kyle playfully, Kyle being barely able to carry it due to his lack of musculature and how heavy the creature seemed to be now, the creature starts crawling all over him, almost in a scurry, as it looks and sniffs across his body, " woah fella what you up to?" Kyle playfully asks, then the creature stops directly at Kyles belly button, it looks at Kyle directly at his face, gurgles, then immediately starts digging in and burrowing into his belly button, Kyle now in a panic, tries to pull out his little friend who is getting deeper and deeper inside him, as he fails to take a proper grip of the creatures slimy skin, eventually the rest of the creature is inside him, Kyle looking worried and feeling rather bloated, starts poking at the area, eventually the creature's head pokes out, and playfully rubs its head against his hand, " Hey little guy, mind if you come out? " Kyle nervously asked, as he tried to grip the creatures head and pull, only for the creature to elongate and stretch into a caterpillar like form that wraps around him playfully, Kyle sighs wondering what he could do about the situation, until he felt it, he feels his muscles contracting and expanding, it feels hot and intense, he see's the creature's green markings spiral into his belly button, as his muscles expand, "Woah, wha- what the" Kyle sputtered, His muscles continued growing and are getting even more defined, Kyle stopped and pondered, He petted his little friend and gave it another two more slices of ham, as the creature absorbed the ham, the green markings started to glow harder, and Kyle felt the sensation of his muscle expanding even more and more, Kyle now moaning and panting from the unexpected growth, starts to sweat from the experience, as the creature finds more food to consume on, Kyle was greeted with more growth, His chest started to expand and shape into juicy pecs, as his abs start to carve into shape, his biceps in a continuous flexing position ballooned in size, he could feel the rush of his body expanding, his boxers start to feel tight, as his member grew in size, all the

while blood rushing into it making him get hard, Kyle feeling the exhaustion this brings to his body, Hastily pulls the creature away from the food, " Wo- Woah there little guy, y- ya gotta give me some room to breathe here" Kyle says panting, " here lets take this slowly" as he feeds the creature one slice of ham, as the creature absorbs it, he can feel the energy spreading into his body, slowly defining it and expanding it, giving him a real workout at the same time, his body now glistening in sweat, "Keep it up Little guy" Kyle moans, " I still can keep growing ". ( Hello there~, I wanted a alien parasite that was more of a symbiotic type of alien parasite where it doesn't take over the host, but rather uses the host to reproduce or use as a shelter, even allowing modifications to be made to fit the alien better, got this inspiration by Herxpex22, such an amazing dood~ )

© 2020 - 2023 HostileTakeover69

[hamrecipeidea]

Deliciously Sticky Sweet Honey Baked Ham Recipe

Looking for a show-stopping centerpiece for your next special occasion? Look no further than this mouthwatering sweet honey baked ham recipe. With its irresistible sticky glaze and tender meat, it's guaranteed to leave your guests begging for seconds. 

To start, select a high-quality bone-in ham, preferably spiral-cut for easy serving. Preheat your oven to 325°F (160°C) and place the ham in a roasting pan. In a small bowl, combine 1 cup of honey, ½ cup of brown sugar, ¼ cup of Dijon mustard, and a pinch of ground cloves. Whisk the ingredients together until well blended.

Using a basting brush, generously coat the ham with the honey glaze, making sure to cover all sides. For an extra touch of flavor, you can stud the ham with whole cloves, which will infuse their aromatic essence into the meat as it bakes.

Cover the ham with aluminum foil and bake for approximately 15 minutes per pound, or until the internal temperature reaches 140°F (60°C). During the last 20 minutes of baking, remove the foil and baste the ham with the remaining glaze. This will give it that deliciously sticky, caramelized crust.

Once the ham is cooked to perfection, remove it from the oven and let it rest for a few minutes before carving. Slice it thinly and serve it warm with your favorite sides, such as roasted potatoes, steamed vegetables, or a fresh green salad.

Prepare to be amazed as your guests dive into this tender, succulent ham with its heavenly sweet glaze. This deliciously sticky honey baked ham recipe will undoubtedly become a staple for your special occasions, creating memories and leaving taste buds longing for more.

[pizzatheif]

two machines appear in town within days of each other. one, a bright blue with illuminated butterfly wings and MORPHO in bright bold letters at the top ; the second, black, blank. the only illumination coming from the screen tucked behind a curtain — it felt like stepping into a photo booth going through its goth phase.

hugo had seen both. hell, the blue one was hard to miss considering it had turned up in the old borders-turned-cvs that sat neatly next to that one bagel place with the thin-sliced taylor ham; his fave. in a matter of days, he’d had to start taking the long way if he wanted breakfast. traffic down that street was a nightmare — worse than usual and that’s saying something.

he decided he wasn’t gonna buy into that crap, though. a matter of principle, he’d claimed ( though he’d probably misspoken ). what did he care that some stupid machines were telling people’s fortunes? he’s content where he is, anything else needed work or schooling and when would he find the time for that?

it eats at him, though – subconsciously plagues his dreams. especially when he finds tony’d gotten his done. ❝ ey, 'ugo, lookit this shit. ❞ the blue card is shoved under his nose and hugo squints at it, narrowed eyes darting upward to meet tony's in the space of a breath. ❝ i thought we thought this shit was bull? ❞ to which tony shrugs, tucking his potential back into his pocket. ❝ you do the death one too? ❞ gaze averts and hugo holds out his hand, ❝ cuh'mon, tone. you holdin' out on me? it's me. ❞ but tony won't let him see the card and hueg don't like the feeling that settles in his stomach because of it.

a couple of days later, he follows his feet to breakfast but he ends up in front of that damn blue machine. his tummy grumbles — he ignores it.

sweaty palms are pressed to the glass when prompted. he almost leaves the stupid butterflied blue envelope that pops out.

he doesn't read the card for a week.

there’s nothing he can rationalize as to why he’s so nervous for it, only that he’s been disappointing people since he was born. what if this card finally means he’ll be disappointed in himself? what if it means tony’ll expect him to change? what if he don’t like who he’s supposed to become?

he knows the thoughts are silly. especially when he gets the call from eloise because she’d gotten her blue card and she wanted to jabber about some conspiracy theories she’d read online that the potentials aren’t what you’re supposed to become, only that they’re supposed to show you a path forward. maybe she won’t become the next picasso, but now she knows wendy doesn’t have a leg to stand on when she criticizes lu’s choices. if she hadn’t gotten an artistic path, she says, then she’d be able to explore what that might mean.

it bolsters him. at least enough to slide the card from his envelope. a cold sweat breaks out when he reads the word.

RAT

hugo flips the card over to see the silver embossed butterfly on the back before rereading those three little letters. fuck.

a rat? his life's potential is to be a fuckin’… nervous gaze darts to the empty spot on the couch, half-relieved that he’d chosen to read his card when tony wasn’t home.

a wave of anxiety shoots through him as he stands, throwing on the green jacket he’d commandeered from tone ages ago. thoughts spiral with each step out the door — who the hell would he rat on? how’d they get him cornered enough to get him to squeal? what if it’s tony he gives up? god, he’s sick to his stomach until he looks up and finds himself at the blue machine, again.

maybe it's a mistake. yeah... yeah. hugo wipes his hands on his jacket, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was tailing him. laundry quarters are slipped into the slot and he goes through the motions to get another card.

RAT

❝ fuck! ❞ he jumps out of the booth and slaps a five on the counter. ❝ can i get change? ❞ is his voice cracking? he clears his throat, voice dropping half an octave with the follow up demand of : ❝ quarters. ❞ hands are clammy, again, as he punches in his social, again, to draw another card.

RAT ( again ).

he sits in the booth, this time, world crashing down around him. how would lulu spin a card like this? his phone is in his hands as he hovers over her name, hesitation stalling him until there's a knock on the booth that rouses him from his panicked thoughts. a mumbled apology falls from him as he pushes past the person waiting their turn and he shoves the three identical cards into his pocket, as deep as they'll go.

he shoulda never read the card. he shoulda dumped it or maybe never tried it in the first place. how're you supposed to come back from this? is he just supposed to give up crime in favor of a boring-ass nine-to-five? you can't be a fuckin' rat and not expect to get got because of it.

he doesn't realize where he's going until he walks into a dude at the end of a line and almost gets himself punched because of it.

he’d heard the news label it the machine of death. hugo swallows thickly, stepping gingerly behind the dark curtain when it's finally his turn. he’s gotta know if they’re related – is he gonna pull cement shoes? is he gonna get whacked just for pulling RAT? the white card slips into the slot and hugo all but rips it out in his fervor.

PIZZA

❝ wh... what the fuck is that s'pposed'tuh mean? ❞

[hiheat]

Homemade Tonkatsu broth with ramen noodles

Made from leftover Spiral sliced ham. :)