#spiral sliced ham

[sunshinesight]

Easter dinner transpired…

Spiral sliced ham, carrots, redskin potatoes, baked beans, biscuits, and pink jello salad.

[padowshams]

Buy half bone-in spiral sliced honey cured ham with glaze available exclusively at Padow's Hams! Our bones are honey cured hams are spiral sliced around the bone.

[definite-human]

I have discovered what all parties and raves are missing and it is not a quiet room you can escape to with the host's cat/dog (though that is also a vital component of any high-volume high-energy party) but rather an insanely chill and affectionate cat hanging out on the seats at the edge of the dance party that you can pet while decompressing

[erabundus]

anonymous &&. said... Are you an other god that wants to terrorize liyue?

We had to deal with one that got summoned by your harbinger boyfriend and that gods girlfriend came also for an asswhooping a month later.

❝  don't  flatter  yourself;  i  couldn't  care less  about  liyue.  ❞   that  isn't  entirely  true  —  by  his  reasoning,  there  are  approximately  three  things  he  cares  about  in  all  of  liyue.  perhaps  three  and  a  half,  though  that  is  being  quite  loose  with  one's  definition  of  care.  (  care  in  the  sense  that  one  may  care  about  a  particularly  interesting  beetle.  )

however ... the air still grows heavy with killing intent.

❝  call  him,  ❞  ugh  gag,   ❝  my  boyfriend  one  more  time,  and  i'll  personally  see  to  it  that  you're  forced  to  rethink  your  definition  of  SUFFERING.  ❞

[yokohamapound]

BSD Characters React to Getting Shat On By A Bird 🕊️

No, I'm totally not writing these to make myself feel better after getting bird-splattered on my way home from work. T-T

Characters: Osamu Dazai, Nakahara Chuuya, Kunikida Doppo, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Nakajima Atsushi, Sigma

Contents: 💩

Osamu Dazai

Dazai might react in one of two ways.

If he's on his own, it's a muted, annoyed kind of disgust. He just feels the impact and sighs.

"Ugh, really?"

He might shove his head into the Yokohama river to try and wash it out. Whether or not he remembers to pull his head up again is another story.

If he's around other people, however, Dazai hams it up more than a pig in a blanket.

His whole body clenches, his shoulders hunching toward his ears and his hands hovering near his hair but not quite touching it. His face is an exaggerated rictus of disgust.

"Get it off, get it off, get it off! Eww!"

He runs at Kunikida and tries to wipe it off on him, only to get himself punted across the room. That isn't enough to stop Dazai, though. He'll theatrically pour water over himself, retching, gagging, and bemoaning his bad luck and the cruel fates for doing this to him.

Nakahara Chuuya

Thankfully, Chuuya's lovely red hair is safe from the bird shit thanks to his hat, but on the other hand, his hat. He freezes as soon as he feels the splatter against his hat. Reaching up slowly, he takes the brim of his hat between thumb and forefinger and lifts it off his head.

Chuuya's face contorts with anger and disgust. There's shit on his hat. There's shit on his hat.

He resists the urge to drop the hat in disgust, since that might damage it further. Instead his ire snaps upward toward the bird that just ass-bombed him. Little does it know that its victim is not bound by the laws of gravity. Chuuya can follow it.

And that he fucking does.

He shoots into the air, cracking the asphalt underfoot, and goes gunning after the hapless bird, which is probably terrified to find a pissed-off ginger zooming after it at mach speeds.

Later, once the bird is 'taken care of' Mafia-style, Chuuya will take his soiled hat to a specialist cleaning place. Yes, he's got a hat cleaning place—this is Chuuya we're talking about.

Kunikida Doppo

Kunikida does not have time for this. Perhaps it is a personal failing, but he didn't account for the potential of being shat on by a bird en route to the office in the morning. Now he's standing there with egg on his face and crap on his hair, regretting his life choices.

Frustration builds in him like a volcano, but he forces himself to take a deep breath. As long as he is calm and rational about this, it should not impact his precious schedule too much.

Thankfully, he does have all manner of supplies to hand. Namely a water bottle and a handkerchief to try and clean himself off as best he can in the nearest reflective surface. He uses his handy dandy notebook to conjure up a solid shampoo bar and cleans himself up.

All in all, he only ends up being three minutes, thirty-seven seconds late to the office. No one even notices, but Kunikida is left irked for the rest of the day. Also, he doesn't know how but he's sure Dazai is behind it somehow. Maybe he's been teaching the birds how to target blonde men with glasses, preparing months in advance for just this day.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

Akutagawa goes still, and his eyes go very, very wide, until you feel like you're staring down tunnels into the Abyss. The bird guano is stark white against his dark hair. His nostrils flare.

"RASHOUMON."

A tendril of darkness slices from the back of his coat and slashes the bird in midair, sending feathers spiralling down to dust the earth around him.

He stares down at the offending creature's carcass like an god of dark justice.

"Foul beast."

Growing up in the slums, Akutagawa was used to being dirty, covered in mud, blood, and all kinds of filth, but he will not take the disrespect of any man nor beast, least of all a pigeon.

Nakajima Atsushi

This is not the first time for poor, unfortunate Atsushi, and probably not the last. He flinches when the splatter lands on top of his head, automatically closing his eyes. He's used to being spat on or having food poured over his head.

"Ah, jeez."

At least the bird crap isn't personal.

Atsushi probably just snips off the locks of befouled hair and then scrubs his hands. His hair is already a tufty mess, and he's usually too busy running around for the Agency to run home and shower again. That is, until Kunikida hears what happens and sprays him with disinfectant.

Sigma

Poor Sigma. Doesn't he have enough on his plate without being target practice for a bird who doesn't eat enough fibre? He's under enough stress already.

The bird shit is the tipping point, and he might just cry.

His face twitches when he feels it. The cold dollop on his head, ruining his pretty hair, making his neck want to retract back into his spine. His eyes widen as he looks upward to see the feckless offender flying away, soon lost to the horizon as it flies beyond the reach of the Sky Casino.

Sigma gags, his hands fluttering a little as he doesn't know what to do. He's only three years old and this has never happened to him before.

He runs toward his private quarters, lest anyone see the General Manager looking so undignified. He flings himself into his bathroom and sticks his head directly under the shower, running the water as hot as he can stand.

He washes it twice. Thrice. Then wraps it in a hair mask and huddles in his quarters with a stiff drink and his hair in a towel. Poor thing.

[contentment-of-cats]

Holidays, shipping, and generational differences.

When I was little, getting fruit for Christmas was a big deal. We lived in the northeast, and once the apples came in, that was it until spring. Yes, you bought stuff from the produce section, but it was pricey. I remember avocados from Florida costing a dollar - about $7.00 today. My Gran cooked and preserved and froze as if the grocery store would close tomorrow. I remember Christmas fruit boxes arriving and the joy on her face, and then right into the kitchen to start processing it.

I thought about it when I turned four out of eighteen pears into a pear/almond sour cream crumb cake. Eight pears are being turned into pear and ginger preserves in my slow cooker. I am having one - sliced, with shaved prosciutto, walnuts, and Gorgonzola - for lunch. The last pear's fate is undetermined. Pears go bad so fast.

I also have a ham as in one whole ham spiral sliced, a whole-ass brisket showed up this morning, and approximately one tree of citrus.

The guy in the Days of Christmas carol should have just given her food.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

my mom for some reason bought a whole spiral cut ham and so it's time for my favorite "low effort quick and easy healthy and delicious dinner with Lu, who just got off a 10 hour shift and is, perhaps, Hangry":

don't talk to me scramble

(so named because when I come home from work and am eating a late supper I want everyone to shut up and let me eat in peace)

YOU WILL NEED:

3 of the biggest eggs you've got - 4 if they're smaller than LargeTM

ham: deli cut works here but I literally just grabbed the spiral cut ham and ripped pieces off with my bare hands until I had a generous handful of Ham Bits (you can probably use whatever lunchmeat you have in your fridge for this tbh)

about like 3 tbsp of cream cheese?? Gordon Ramsay it babey

one(1) slice of pepper jack cheese or whatever kind you like

big handful of spinach (frozen works but I used a slightly wilted leftover salad since it needs eaten soon) or other vegetables of choice. bagged frozen stuff is great in eggs

optional carb (bread, tortilla, biscuits, et cetera)

LET'S CRACK THIS THING.

butter or oil in your pan. crack ya eggs. throw the Ham Bits in immediately or else they will be Cold. once eggs start to cook throw in your SpinchTM or ~vegetals of choice~ so that they'll wilt/heat up. this is the point where you want to toast your bread or heat a tortilla or whatnot, if you're into that kind of thing. once eggs are MOSTLY cooked, toss in your pepper jack and cheem creams and stir it all around until it's melted. it will probably look a bit watery — if this is a texture no-no I suggest making this in omelette form, bc yes, cream cheese is awesome in an omelette. serve with Optional Carb if you wis, or by itself, possibly eaten directly out of the pan you cooked it in. you are adulting so well. your tastebuds and your body think you're the coolest 👍 go forth full, happy, and proud of yourself

[fleshadept]

simultaneously living on my own for the first time & being poor sucks in a lot of ways but i am so appreciative of everything these days. food is so expensive, and it goes bad quickly if you're not paying attention, but it takes months to go bad if you freeze it. i eat a lot of sandwiches and enjoy eggs for breakfast so i bought a spiral-sliced ham which was more expensive than regular ham up front obviously but it's lasted me more than a month and makes me feel fancy to warm up a slice in the pan with my eggs or put it on my sandwich. spices can be super cheap as things go and i've been having a lot of fun adding random ones to my regular dishes to make them even a little better. the things you can do with maruchan ramen (try adding sriracha. oml) is absolutely amazing. good food makes my whole day.

i didn't have a silverware tray (container? standy-uppy-thing?) in the dishwasher when i moved in but something went wrong with the dishwasher and maintenance gave me one when they fixed it! i've never been more excited to load the dishes. it looks so neat in there now. keeping my space clean now that it's my space in general just feels so much more satisfying.

i don't know. a lot of the money stuff sucks and it's stressful but i've been really surprised about how much i've been able to appreciate and enjoy things i didn't before. and finding little things to be way too excited about is so nice

[strqyr]

very intrigued re: your thoughts on cinder’s grimm arm but I’m not sure its symbolism thus far supports your point.

like to me it’s a sign of salem’s power and control over her. it’s creeping up her body and eating her as she does more and more evil to serve a master that doesn’t care about her.

i think if she dies the arm dies with her but if she lives she lives without the arm, just like i think the only way she survives the story is if she breaks free from salem.

also i just feel like it can’t feel good to have grimm be a part of you and i want good things for cinder

i want to pre-face this by saying that my thoughts spiraled from the fairly popular theory that summer tried to destroy / 'purify' salem with her silver eyes and obv it didn't work ( and if you subscribe to the theory that salem got her veins as a result of that, it might have made things 'worse' ) so like. the implications are there.

this might also be all over the place so sorry in advance i just woke up lol

anyway. back to cinder. they've clearly paralleled the grimm arm with the shock collar which definitely muddles the ground re: the fate of the arm, buuuuuut there are some interesting points here as well as differences.

for one, cinder doesn't take the collar off until after the madame is dead and the fight with rhodes is over, signifying a power struggle—the madame shocks cinder to no affect; she holds no power over cinder any more with or without the collar—and the main failure of rhodes—he was the huntsman supposed to help, but cinder only took the collar of after his death.

in V8 cinder and salem already had their power struggle which resulted in salem having to give 'concessions' ( for the lack of better term ) to cinder lest she wanted to lose her bc cinder was going to do her own thing ( and almost getting herself killed. no good ) rather than follow salem's orders. and then cinder lied to salem who does not like being lied to so either she pulled it off successfully ( doubtful with how much she hammed it up ) or salem let it go bc she's got two relics now and reprimanding cinder would ruin the moment of success.

something something balance cannot be restored with force or calculations true balance finds it own equilibrium it only requires love and the patience to see things through in the end something something the villains do be getting it.

and through it all, the grimm arm remained.

unlike the shock collar, too, the grimm arm cannot be easily removed; slicing it off won't work as it will just grow back ( which begs the question of it's origin, as regrowing is not regular grimm behavior ), and, well. silver eyeing it is a bit of an odd choice when that's the reason cinder lost her arm in the first place, so... how do you remove it?

also, thinking about silver eyes and grimm, specifically ruby challenging maria's notion that the eyes only work against grimm bc she used them against cinder, "perhaps there was something that you weren't seeing" <- obvious answer is the grimm arm but atlas arc has come and gone, ruby has seen the arm a plenty and has had zero reaction to it re: why she can use her powers against cinder, which makes me think that this conversation in an episode titled DEAD END has more to it; either that there's more to silver eyes than "they only work against grimm" or that "something you weren't seeing" is less about something physical like the grimm arm and more about cinder herself, i.e. cinder is not a monster who needs to be eye-lazered on sight but a human being and that maybe it would be better to understand why she's the way she is rather than going pew-pew.

also also, as far as any villain -> hero arc that cinder may or may not be going through, i think it would be more poignant if she had the grimm arm through it rather than chopping it off as a sign of it beginning. ya know, like. despite all the negatives that come with it, the grimm arm is also beneficial for cinder in that she can siphon maiden powers that she wants with it, so if she has it until the end, any development would be more meaningful if she chooses to not use it rather than removing it altogether. it's the difference between "would but can't" vs "could but won't".

and yeah the arm growing is a concern so that's. A Thing. but i think there's like. how much does cinder and / or salem even know about this stuff. like i could see cinder agreeing to having a grimm arm bc maiden powers but not knowing exactly what having a grimm arm entails—i.e. it was not an informed choice—but does salem know either or is she just experimenting? cos i feel like that also changes thing like is this intentional negligence or is this uncharted territory for everyone involved? idk.

what i do know is that i like the grimm aesthetic tho and i would be sad to see it go :( but that's the character design gremlin in me talking.

[fluffyuri]

I understand, Lady Lucoa. I’ll be right back with your offering.

The individual leaves and comes back with a feast of epic proportions that was, hopefully, fit for a goddess such as Quetzalcoatl. Chicken cacciatore, chopped mutton, a boiled lobster, spiral-sliced and honey-glazed ham, wagyu beef, cooked salmon, sichuan curried shrimp, jambalaya, and a classic apple pie

Those were only fancy stuff as the individual remembered Lucoa’s comment about modern technology, so with it they added stuff like, burgers, fries, pizzas, calzones, onion rings, chips of all flavors, all kinds of fast food really, and even some unorthodox foods such as deep-fried oreos and a few loafs of pumpkin cracker bread.

I hope this all is to your liking, my Lady. And with it I say, bon appetit.

"Oh my, certainly a larger offering than I was expecting. Back when I was getting started last time the offerings were much smaller. And what a selection."

"Again certainly better than sacrifices." She mumbles to herself, while idly eating some of the feast. "I've heard there's still a few deities still wanting harsher offerings, I don't get it. Clearly they haven't tried human foods. Maybe trying to push to be a god again would be worth the effort."

[cagemasterfantasy]

Honeyed Ham with Pineapple Gravy

Serves 10 to 14

Ingredients: 1 Small (10-pound) spiral sliced, bone in ham, preferably shank-end, 2 Cups unsweetened pineapple juice, 3/4 Cup honey, 1/3 Cup packed light brown sugar, 2 Teaspoons Dijon mustard, plus 1 tablespoon, 1/4 Teaspoon ground cloves, or to taste, Freshly ground black pepper, 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, 1 Shallot, finely chopped, 2 Teaspoons finely chopped fresh thyme, Kosher salt, 1 Tablespoon cornstarch, 1 Cup finely chopped fresh pineapple

Remove the ham from the refrigerator 1 hour and 45 minutes before cooking so that it starts at room temperature.

Preheat the oven to 300 with a rack in the lower-middle of the oven. Cover a large roasting pan or rimmed baking sheet with foil. Set a roasting rack in the roasting pan and cover that with foil, shiny-side up, leaving overhangs sufficient to fully wrap the ham once it's on the rack. Position the ham cut-side down on the rack, cover with the overhanging foil, and crimp the edges to seal the ham. Bake until the ham registers 120 on an instant -read thermometer, 3 hours 15 minutes.

At around the 3-hour mark, in a skillet over medium-high heat, bring the pineapple juice to a boil. Continue to boil until the juice is reduced to 1 cup, 9 minutes. Pour off and 2/3 cup of the reduced juice for the sauce.

Add 1/2 cup of the honey, the brown sugar, 2 teaspoons mustard, cloves, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper, to the remaining 1/3 cup reduced juice in the skillet and whisk to combine.

Remove the ham from the oven and adjust the oven temperature to 400. Peel back the foil and, working carefully with the hot ham, pour as much of the accumulated ham juices as possible into a large measuring cup or bowl and set aside. Brush half the pineapple juice mixture evenly over the exposed surfaces of the ham (don't worry about the cut side). Leaving the foil open, bake until glossy and beginning to caramelize, 15 minutes. Brush the remaining mixture over the ham and continue baking, again until glossy and caramelized, 8 minutes.

Remove the ham from the oven and again working carefully, pour as much of the accumulated ham juices as possible into the bowl with the first batch (you may have as much as 1 1/2 cups) and set aside. Fold the foil back up over the ham to tent loosely and let rest for 15 minutes.

In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the shallot, thyme, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and cook, stirring, until the shallot softens, 2 minutes. Add the 2/3 cup reserved reduced pineapple juice, the remaining 1/4 cup honey, and remaining 1 tablespoon mustard. Whisk to combine and bring to a simmer, 2 minutes.

In a bowl or measuring cup, whisk the cornstarch and 2/3 cup of the reserved ham juices until uniform. Add to the saucepan and cook, stirring until thickened, 1 minute. Add the chopped pineapple and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, to heat the sauce through, 1 1/2 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasoning with additional salt and pepper, if necessary. Carve the ham and serve with the warm sauce.

No i am not sourcing this 1 they are literally using the picture from the book

Source: Heroes Feast

[official-breakfast-sandwich-poll]

BREAKFAST SANDWICH POLL (OFFICIAL)

[hamrecipeidea]

Deliciously Sticky Sweet Honey Baked Ham Recipe

Looking for a show-stopping centerpiece for your next special occasion? Look no further than this mouthwatering sweet honey baked ham recipe. With its irresistible sticky glaze and tender meat, it's guaranteed to leave your guests begging for seconds. 

To start, select a high-quality bone-in ham, preferably spiral-cut for easy serving. Preheat your oven to 325°F (160°C) and place the ham in a roasting pan. In a small bowl, combine 1 cup of honey, ½ cup of brown sugar, ¼ cup of Dijon mustard, and a pinch of ground cloves. Whisk the ingredients together until well blended.

Using a basting brush, generously coat the ham with the honey glaze, making sure to cover all sides. For an extra touch of flavor, you can stud the ham with whole cloves, which will infuse their aromatic essence into the meat as it bakes.

Cover the ham with aluminum foil and bake for approximately 15 minutes per pound, or until the internal temperature reaches 140°F (60°C). During the last 20 minutes of baking, remove the foil and baste the ham with the remaining glaze. This will give it that deliciously sticky, caramelized crust.

Once the ham is cooked to perfection, remove it from the oven and let it rest for a few minutes before carving. Slice it thinly and serve it warm with your favorite sides, such as roasted potatoes, steamed vegetables, or a fresh green salad.

Prepare to be amazed as your guests dive into this tender, succulent ham with its heavenly sweet glaze. This deliciously sticky honey baked ham recipe will undoubtedly become a staple for your special occasions, creating memories and leaving taste buds longing for more.

[definite-human]

Can't find my old post about it, but reminder that, as we get closer to Easter, a lot of grocery stores will have very cheap (often 99¢/lb) fully cooked spiral sliced ham for sale. That's a lot of easy to use, easy to freeze protein for all my fellow broke pork-consumers out there

[pizzatheif]

two machines appear in town within days of each other. one, a bright blue with illuminated butterfly wings and MORPHO in bright bold letters at the top ; the second, black, blank. the only illumination coming from the screen tucked behind a curtain — it felt like stepping into a photo booth going through its goth phase.

hugo had seen both. hell, the blue one was hard to miss considering it had turned up in the old borders-turned-cvs that sat neatly next to that one bagel place with the thin-sliced taylor ham; his fave. in a matter of days, he’d had to start taking the long way if he wanted breakfast. traffic down that street was a nightmare — worse than usual and that’s saying something.

he decided he wasn’t gonna buy into that crap, though. a matter of principle, he’d claimed ( though he’d probably misspoken ). what did he care that some stupid machines were telling people’s fortunes? he’s content where he is, anything else needed work or schooling and when would he find the time for that?

it eats at him, though – subconsciously plagues his dreams. especially when he finds tony’d gotten his done. ❝ ey, 'ugo, lookit this shit. ❞ the blue card is shoved under his nose and hugo squints at it, narrowed eyes darting upward to meet tony's in the space of a breath. ❝ i thought we thought this shit was bull? ❞ to which tony shrugs, tucking his potential back into his pocket. ❝ you do the death one too? ❞ gaze averts and hugo holds out his hand, ❝ cuh'mon, tone. you holdin' out on me? it's me. ❞ but tony won't let him see the card and hueg don't like the feeling that settles in his stomach because of it.

a couple of days later, he follows his feet to breakfast but he ends up in front of that damn blue machine. his tummy grumbles — he ignores it.

sweaty palms are pressed to the glass when prompted. he almost leaves the stupid butterflied blue envelope that pops out.

he doesn't read the card for a week.

there’s nothing he can rationalize as to why he’s so nervous for it, only that he’s been disappointing people since he was born. what if this card finally means he’ll be disappointed in himself? what if it means tony’ll expect him to change? what if he don’t like who he’s supposed to become?

he knows the thoughts are silly. especially when he gets the call from eloise because she’d gotten her blue card and she wanted to jabber about some conspiracy theories she’d read online that the potentials aren’t what you’re supposed to become, only that they’re supposed to show you a path forward. maybe she won’t become the next picasso, but now she knows wendy doesn’t have a leg to stand on when she criticizes lu’s choices. if she hadn’t gotten an artistic path, she says, then she’d be able to explore what that might mean.

it bolsters him. at least enough to slide the card from his envelope. a cold sweat breaks out when he reads the word.

RAT

hugo flips the card over to see the silver embossed butterfly on the back before rereading those three little letters. fuck.

a rat? his life's potential is to be a fuckin’… nervous gaze darts to the empty spot on the couch, half-relieved that he’d chosen to read his card when tony wasn’t home.

a wave of anxiety shoots through him as he stands, throwing on the green jacket he’d commandeered from tone ages ago. thoughts spiral with each step out the door — who the hell would he rat on? how’d they get him cornered enough to get him to squeal? what if it’s tony he gives up? god, he’s sick to his stomach until he looks up and finds himself at the blue machine, again.

maybe it's a mistake. yeah... yeah. hugo wipes his hands on his jacket, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was tailing him. laundry quarters are slipped into the slot and he goes through the motions to get another card.

RAT

❝ fuck! ❞ he jumps out of the booth and slaps a five on the counter. ❝ can i get change? ❞ is his voice cracking? he clears his throat, voice dropping half an octave with the follow up demand of : ❝ quarters. ❞ hands are clammy, again, as he punches in his social, again, to draw another card.

RAT ( again ).

he sits in the booth, this time, world crashing down around him. how would lulu spin a card like this? his phone is in his hands as he hovers over her name, hesitation stalling him until there's a knock on the booth that rouses him from his panicked thoughts. a mumbled apology falls from him as he pushes past the person waiting their turn and he shoves the three identical cards into his pocket, as deep as they'll go.

he shoulda never read the card. he shoulda dumped it or maybe never tried it in the first place. how're you supposed to come back from this? is he just supposed to give up crime in favor of a boring-ass nine-to-five? you can't be a fuckin' rat and not expect to get got because of it.

he doesn't realize where he's going until he walks into a dude at the end of a line and almost gets himself punched because of it.

he’d heard the news label it the machine of death. hugo swallows thickly, stepping gingerly behind the dark curtain when it's finally his turn. he’s gotta know if they’re related – is he gonna pull cement shoes? is he gonna get whacked just for pulling RAT? the white card slips into the slot and hugo all but rips it out in his fervor.

PIZZA

❝ wh... what the fuck is that s'pposed'tuh mean? ❞