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lightdancingwords · 14 days ago

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Crossroads of the Heart - Part Four of ?

Pairings: CJ Braxton x Y/N Female reader

Series Summary: Y/N is a psychology major assigned to shadow CJ at The Stand, unaware he's the one who basically saved her life four years before. CJ is unaware that she's the one who left a notable impact on him over the phone four years ago. As they navigate the work at The Stand, they develop a spark that demands revelation and connection.

Word Count:

Tags/Warnings: Mention of depression, alcoholism, allusions of a spiked drink, a bit of fluff, a bit of angst

A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! Evidently my muse won't shut up, so here we go! A new story in a new setting! I hope you all enjoy!

Dividers: credit to @saradika-graphics

Chapter Four: Getting To Know You

Several weeks into her practicum at The Stand, Y/N had become a steady presence in the office. She’d shadowed CJ, Gabby, and Priya, learning the nuances of the work from each of them. She’d asked countless questions, always jotting down notes in her ever-present notebook, and CJ had come to appreciate her sharp mind and quiet determination.

Now, she was taking calls on her own with CJ sitting nearby, ready to step in if she needed him. Most of the time, she didn’t.

“Remember,” CJ said, leaning back in his chair as Y/N settled in for her first call of the day, “don’t rush to fill the silences. Let them guide the pace.”

Y/N nodded, her fingers brushing the edge of her notebook for reassurance. “Got it.”

The phone rang, and she picked it up with steady hands. “The Stand, teen helpline. This is Y/N. How can I help you today?”

The voice on the other end was soft and hesitant, a young boy expressing fear about coming out to his parents. Y/N listened closely, her voice calm and empathetic as she validated his feelings. “It’s a big step,” she said gently. “But it’s okay to take it at your own pace. What feels right to you matters.”

CJ watched as Y/N handled the call with grace, offering support without pushing advice. When the call ended, she set the phone down and looked over at him.

“Well?” she asked, a hint of nerves in her tone.

“You did great,” CJ said with an approving nod. “You let him lead, and you gave him space to process. That’s exactly what he needed.”

Y/N smiled, the tension in her shoulders easing. “Thanks. I was worried I talked too much.”

“Not at all,” CJ assured her. “Sometimes, a little guidance goes a long way.”

The phone rang, cutting through the quiet hum of the room. Y/N reached for it, her heart beating a little faster than usual. CJ, seated nearby, gave her an encouraging nod.

She took a deep breath and answered. “The Stand, teen helpline. This is Y/N. How can I help you today?”

There was silence on the other end at first, just the faint sound of someone breathing. Y/N waited patiently, her tone soft and steady when she spoke again. “It’s okay. Take your time. I’m here.”

A shaky voice finally broke the silence. “Hi... um, I don’t know why I called. I just... I don’t know.”

“That’s okay,” Y/N said gently. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. Sometimes, just talking can help. What’s been going on?”

The caller hesitated, the sound of a muffled sniffle coming through the line. “I guess I just feel... stuck. Like, everyone else has their life figured out, and I’m just... drifting. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

Y/N’s grip on her notebook tightened slightly, but her voice remained calm. “That sounds really overwhelming,” she said. “It’s hard to feel like you’re not moving forward when it seems like everyone else is. But I promise, you’re not alone in feeling that way.”

The caller let out a hollow laugh. “I don’t know. It just feels like... I’m not enough. Like no matter what I do, it’s not good enough for anyone—not my parents, not my friends. Not even me.”

Y/N felt a pang of empathy, memories of her own moments of self-doubt flashing briefly in her mind. She leaned forward slightly, her voice softening. “That’s a heavy thing to carry. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Trying to meet everyone’s expectations while feeling like you’re falling short.”

“Yeah,” the caller whispered. “Exactly. How do you even know what you’re supposed to do with your life? Everyone keeps telling me to figure it out, but... I don’t even know where to start.”

Y/N paused, choosing her words carefully. “Sometimes, it helps to take a step back. Instead of thinking about what you’re supposed to do, try thinking about what makes you feel like yourself. What makes you feel alive? Even if it’s something small.”

There was a pause on the other end, the silence filled with thought rather than hesitation. “I don’t know,” the caller admitted. “I guess... I used to love drawing. But I haven’t done it in so long. It feels... pointless.”

“It’s not pointless,” Y/N said firmly. “If it’s something you love, it matters. Even if it’s just for you. Sometimes, the things we love remind us of who we are when everything else feels uncertain.”

The caller was quiet for a moment, their breathing steadying. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”

Y/N smiled faintly, though she knew the caller couldn’t see it. “It’s okay to take small steps. Maybe start with one thing—one little thing that makes you happy. And remember, it’s okay not to have everything figured out. Most people don’t, even if it looks like they do.”

“Do you think so?” the caller asked, their voice barely above a whisper.

“I know so,” Y/N replied, her tone gentle but sure. “Everyone’s journey is different. And yours doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.”

The caller let out a shaky breath. “Thanks. I... I guess I just needed to hear that.”

“I’m glad you called,” Y/N said. “And if you ever need someone to talk to, we’re always here.”

“Okay,” the caller said, their voice steadier now. “Thank you. Really.”

“You’re welcome,” Y/N said softly. “Take care, okay?”

“You too,” the caller replied before the line disconnected.

Y/N hung up the phone and let out a quiet exhale, her hand resting on the receiver for a moment. She turned to CJ, who was watching her with a small, approving smile.

“You did good,” he said. “You gave them exactly what they needed—someone to listen, someone to remind them they’re not alone.”

Y/N felt a wave of relief, the tension in her shoulders easing. “Thanks,” she said. “I just... I hope I said the right things.”

“You did,” CJ assured her. “Calls like that aren’t about having the perfect answers. It’s about being there. And you were.”

Y/N nodded, her confidence bolstered by his words. She picked up her pen and jotted down a few notes in her notebook, her thoughts clearer now.

CJ leaned back in his chair, watching her quietly for a moment before speaking again. “You’re going to make a real difference here, Y/N. I can feel it.”

Y/N glanced up, her lips curving into a small, grateful smile. “I hope so,” she said softly.

From the warmth in CJ’s gaze, she believed it a little more each time.

The day continued, with Y/N fielding calls of varying intensity. One was a teenager struggling with a breakup, another a young woman unsure about her college major. Y/N handled each one with growing confidence, her calm demeanor putting callers at ease. By the end of the shift, CJ found himself impressed—not just with her skills, but with the care she brought to each conversation.

As the last call ended, CJ stretched in his chair, glancing at Y/N as she jotted down final notes in her notebook. “You’ve come a long way since your first day,” he said, his tone light but sincere. “You’re a natural at this.”

“Thanks,” Y/N said, her smile soft. “I feel like I’ve learned so much, but there’s still so much more to figure out.”

“That’s the job,” CJ said with a small grin. “Every call is different. Keeps you on your toes.”

The other staff members began filtering in for the next shift, their chatter filling the room with a lighter energy. Gabby and Priya approached, both carrying their bags and chatting animatedly about weekend plans. When they reached Y/N, Gabby grinned.

“Hey, some of us are heading to the rec center tonight to unwind. You should come,” she said. “CJ’s coming too.”

Y/N glanced at CJ, who shrugged casually. “It’s a good way to decompress after a long week,” he said. “You’ve earned it.”

Y/N hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. That sounds nice.”

The recreational club was buzzing with life when CJ, Y/N, and the others arrived. It was a familiar, comforting place for the team to unwind after a long week at The Stand. Laughter and conversation filled the air, blending with the occasional clink of glasses and the hum of arcade games in the background.

They claimed a table in the corner, settling in with a mix of sodas, water, and a few snacks to share. CJ leaned back in his chair, observing the group as they relaxed into the evening. Gabby was already eyeing the foosball table with a mischievous grin.

“Alright, Y/N,” Gabby said, crossing her arms. “You got lucky last time, but I demand a rematch.”

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “Lucky? I beat you fair and square.”

Gabby narrowed her eyes playfully. “Care to prove it?”

CJ chuckled as Y/N stood, grabbing her drink. “This, I’ve got to see,” he said, gesturing toward the table. “You’re up, Y/N. Defend your title.”

Gabby dragged Y/N over to the foosball table, and a small crowd started to gather. CJ watched as the two faced off, their competitive spirits in full swing. The game was fast and intense, with Y/N just barely managing to pull off a victory.

Gabby groaned, throwing her hands in the air. “Unbelievable. You’ve got beginner’s luck!”

“Or maybe I’m just that good,” Y/N teased, breathless but grinning as she returned to the table.

CJ handed her a bottle of water. “Impressive,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gabby that determined to win.”

“She’s relentless,” Y/N replied with a laugh. “I’ll probably pay for that next time.”

A tray of drinks made its way around the table, and someone offered CJ a beer. He waved it off with an easy smile. “I’ll stick to soda,” he said. “Better for everyone that way.”

Y/N caught his response, glancing at him with quiet curiosity. She didn’t ask, though, and CJ appreciated her restraint. Instead, she grabbed a soda herself and raised it toward him.

“To surviving the week,” she said with a small smile.

“To that,” CJ echoed, clinking his glass against hers.

As the evening wore on, Miles finally arrived, looking frazzled. He dropped into a chair beside Priya with a dramatic sigh, earning a round of laughs from the group.

“Rough day?” CJ asked, leaning forward.

“Software issues,” Miles grumbled, grabbing a handful of popcorn. “I’ve been fighting with the database all afternoon. If I see another error message, I might scream.”

Gabby patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll have it fixed before Monday.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Miles muttered, though his lips twitched into a faint smile.

The conversation drifted to lighter topics, but CJ found his attention shifting back to Y/N. She was quieter now, her gaze thoughtful as she sipped her soda. He leaned closer, lowering his voice to match the softer energy of the moment. For the first time that evening, they found themselves with a moment of calm, separate from the bustle of their friends.

CJ leaned back in his chair, resting his arms on the table. “So,” he began, his voice quiet but curious, “now that you’ve been here for a few weeks, how are you feeling about The Stand? Has it been what you expected?”

Y/N looked down at her glass, her fingers tracing the rim thoughtfully. “It’s been... more than I expected,” she admitted. “I knew it would be intense, but I don’t think I realized how much of an impact it would have on me. Or how much I’d care.”

CJ tilted his head, watching her closely. “That’s a good thing, though. It means you’re in the right place.”

“I hope so,” Y/N said softly, her eyes lifting to meet his. “It’s strange, you know? I thought I understood what it meant to help people, but being on the other side of those calls... it’s different. It’s personal.”

He nodded, his gaze steady. “It is. You can’t really prepare for it, even if you think you can. The work gets under your skin, in a way. But that’s not a bad thing.”

Y/N hesitated, her fingers tightening around her glass. “I think... I get it more than I thought I would,” she said carefully. “Because I’ve been on the other side of one of those calls before.”

CJ’s posture straightened slightly, his attention sharpening. He didn’t interrupt, sensing the weight of her words.

“It was a long time ago,” Y/N continued, her voice quieter now. “I was in a really bad place, and I didn’t know what else to do. So, I called. I didn’t think it would help, but... it did. It changed everything for me.”

CJ’s chest tightened. He wanted to ask more, to understand, but he also knew better than to press. “I’m glad you called,” he said simply, his voice warm but unobtrusive. “And I’m glad it helped.”

Y/N’s lips curved into a faint smile, though her gaze remained thoughtful. “It did. More than I can put into words.”

There was a moment of silence between them, heavy with unspoken thoughts. CJ broke it gently, his tone shifting to something lighter. “That’s why this place exists. For moments like that.”

Y/N nodded, her expression softening. “And now I get to be part of it. It feels... full-circle, in a way.”

“It is,” CJ agreed, his smile returning. “That’s what makes this place so special. It’s not just about the people we help—it’s about the people we become because of it.”

They sat in companionable quiet for a moment, the noise of the rec center fading further into the background. Then Y/N looked up, her expression brightening. “What about you? Why did you stay? You’ve mentioned you started as a volunteer, but what made you keep coming back?”

CJ hesitated, considering his words. “Honestly? At first, it was just something to keep me busy. Something to keep me out of trouble. But then... there was this call. A kid who felt completely alone, like they didn’t matter to anyone. And I got to be the one to tell them they did.”

He paused, his gaze distant for a moment. “That call stuck with me. It made me realize that maybe I could do something meaningful, even if it was small. So, I stayed. And over time, it became more than just a job. It became... a purpose.”

Y/N watched him closely, her eyes soft with understanding. “It sounds like you’ve made a difference for a lot of people.”

CJ shrugged, though his smile held a hint of pride. “I hope so. That’s the goal, anyway.”

She leaned forward slightly, her tone earnest. “You have. I can tell just by watching you work. You care, CJ. And that’s what makes all the difference.”

Her words hit him unexpectedly, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure how to respond. He settled for a quiet smile, raising his glass in a small toast. “To making a difference.”

Y/N smiled back, clinking her glass gently against his. “To making a difference.”

The moment lingered between them, warm and unspoken, before the sound of Gabby’s voice broke through, calling from across the room. “Come on, you two! It’s getting late.”

CJ laughed, shaking his head as he stood. “Looks like we’re being summoned.”

Y/N followed suit, grabbing her bag as they made their way toward the exit. As they stepped out into the cool night air, CJ glanced at her, his smile softening. “Thanks for sharing that with me. It means a lot.”

“Thanks for listening,” Y/N replied, her voice light but genuine. “It’s easy to talk to you.”

CJ nodded, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer than necessary. “Get home safe, Y/N. See you Monday?”

“See you Monday,” she said, her smile warm as she turned toward her car.

As CJ watched her go, he couldn’t help but feel a quiet sense of connection. Whatever it was, he had no doubt she belonged at The Stand—and maybe, just maybe, in his life too.

It was late Saturday afternoon when Y/N’s phone buzzed, pulling her attention away from the book she was reading. She picked it up and saw Gabby’s name flash on the screen, accompanied by a string of emojis.

Gabby: Party tonight! 🎉 One of the college kids is hosting. You’re coming. No excuses.

Y/N smiled faintly but shook her head, typing back a quick reply.

Y/N: I don’t know... I’m not really a party person.

Gabby’s response came almost immediately.

Gabby: Come on! It’ll be fun! You’ve been working so hard; you deserve to let loose a little. Besides, I’ll be there. I won’t let anything weird happen. Promise!

Y/N hesitated, glancing at the small pile of notes she’d planned to review that evening. The thought of a party made her stomach twist slightly, but a part of her also missed being around people her own age, even in a casual setting.

Before she could overthink it, her phone buzzed again.

Gabby: Don’t make me beg. I’ll send puppy gifs if I have to.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. Gabby was relentless, but that was part of her charm.

Y/N: Fine. But I’m holding you to that “no weird stuff” promise.

Gabby: Yay!!! Pick you up at 7! Wear something cute but comfy. 💃

At exactly 7 p.m., Gabby arrived, honking lightly from the street outside Y/N’s apartment. When Y/N climbed into the car, Gabby was grinning ear to ear, her energy already infectious.

“This is going to be great,” Gabby said as she pulled away. “You’ll meet a ton of cool people. And don’t worry—I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Y/N gave her a wary look. “You’re sure this isn’t one of those wild, out-of-control parties?”

Gabby laughed. “Not a chance. It’s college, not a movie. Trust me.”

The party was already in full swing when they arrived, the sound of music and chatter spilling out of the house onto the front lawn. Inside, the air was warm and lively, filled with clusters of students talking, laughing, and dancing.

Gabby weaved through the crowd effortlessly, introducing Y/N to a few of her friends. They were friendly and easygoing, and Y/N found herself relaxing a little.

Half an hour later, Y/N was talking to one of Gabby’s friends about a local coffee shop when she spotted a familiar face entering the room. Miles, dressed in his usual slightly disheveled style, stood in the doorway, scanning the crowd. He spotted Gabby and Y/N and wandered over, a soda can already in hand.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Gabby said with a grin.

Miles shrugged, leaning against the wall. “Gotta join humanity every now and then. Keeps me sane enough to deal with computers. Besides, I needed a break from battling the database.”

“Fair enough,” Gabby said. She turned to Y/N. “See? Even Miles gets out sometimes. You’re already ahead of him.”

Miles raised his can in a mock toast. “A high bar to clear, I’m sure.”

Y/N laughed, feeling some of her initial nervousness ease further.

A little while later, Priya arrived, her warm smile lighting up the room. She greeted Gabby and Miles with a quick hug before turning to Y/N.

“Y/N! Didn’t expect to see you here,” Priya said, her tone pleasantly surprised.

“Gabby convinced me,” Y/N admitted. “It’s not really my scene, but... it’s been fun so far.”

Priya nodded approvingly. “Good. You deserve a night off. Just don’t let Gabby talk you into anything too crazy.”

Gabby gasped in mock offense. “Me? Crazy? Never.”

The group laughed, and for the first time in a while, Y/N felt a sense of ease in the lively atmosphere.

As the evening wore on, the group stuck together, mingling here and there but always returning to their little circle. Y/N found herself laughing more than she had in weeks, sharing stories and banter with the others. Gabby kept her promise to look out for her, and Miles’s dry humor provided a steady stream of sarcastic commentary. Even Priya, usually so poised and professional, relaxed into the setting, her quick wit catching everyone off guard.

As the night wore on, the party began to settle into a comfortable rhythm. The music had shifted to a playlist of upbeat pop songs, and a small group had moved furniture aside to make space for dancing. Y/N, perched on a couch near the edge of the room, sipped her soda and watched as Gabby tried to teach Miles a dance move he was clearly unwilling—or unable—to master.

“I’m telling you, Miles,” Gabby said, laughing as he failed yet again. “You’ve just got to feel the rhythm. Stop overthinking it.”

“I’m not overthinking it,” Miles deadpanned, stepping awkwardly. “I’m proving that rhythm is subjective.”

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head, but her laughter faded when she saw a familiar figure stepping through the doorway. CJ stood there, scanning the room, his usual calm presence somehow grounding amidst the chaos. He spotted her almost immediately and made his way over, his hands in his pockets and a faint smile on his face.

“You made it,” Y/N said, surprised but pleased.

“Figured I’d stop by for a bit,” CJ said, shrugging as he stood beside her. “Gabby mentioned you’d be here, so I thought I’d check in.”

“Check in?” Y/N asked with a teasing smile. “Or supervise?”

“A little of both,” CJ admitted, his grin widening slightly. “But mostly to make sure Gabby doesn’t rope you into one of her infamous schemes.”

As if on cue, Gabby glanced over and waved enthusiastically. “CJ! You’re just in time. We need more people on the dance floor.”

CJ raised a brow. “I don’t dance.”

Gabby rolled her eyes. “Everyone dances. Get over here.”

CJ shook his head but didn’t move. Instead, he turned back to Y/N, his expression thoughtful. “How about you? Are you a dancer?”

Y/N laughed softly, glancing at the crowded dance floor. “Not really. I usually stick to watching.”

CJ tilted his head, his smile softening. “What if I made it easy for you?”

Y/N raised a brow. “How?”

He held out his hand, his movements casual but deliberate. “One dance. Just us. No pressure.”

Y/N hesitated, glancing at his outstretched hand. The room felt a little quieter, the background noise fading as she met his gaze. Finally, she placed her hand in his, her voice light. “Alright. But only because you asked nicely.”

CJ led her to a quieter corner of the makeshift dance floor, where the crowd wasn’t as dense. The song shifted to something slower, the upbeat energy of the party giving way to a softer, more intimate mood. CJ placed a careful hand on her waist, his other still holding hers.

“You’re good at this,” Y/N said after a moment, her voice quiet but teasing.

CJ chuckled. “I’ve been told I’m a quick learner.”

They swayed gently to the music, the world around them fading into the background. CJ’s usual steady demeanor seemed even more grounded in the moment, his focus entirely on her.

“You’re not drinking tonight?” Y/N asked softly, glancing at the soda can he’d set on a nearby table.

“Never do,” CJ said simply. “Not my thing.”

She nodded, her expression thoughtful but warm. “I get that.”

The song played on, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the room. CJ’s gaze met hers, his usual calm replaced with something a little softer, a little more vulnerable.

“You’ve been doing really well at The Stand,” he said, his voice low. “I hope you know that.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed slightly, but she smiled. “Thanks. That means a lot. Coming from you.”

“You’re making a difference,” CJ said firmly. “And that’s not something everyone can do.”

The song began to fade, and the spell of the moment broke slightly as the room’s noise came back into focus. CJ stepped back, his hand slipping from hers with an ease that felt natural but reluctant.

“Thanks for the dance,” Y/N said, her voice soft.

“Anytime,” CJ replied, his smile warm but unreadable. “I’ll let you get back to your night. Just... make sure Gabby doesn’t talk you into anything too wild.”

“I’ll do my best,” Y/N said with a laugh, watching as he stepped away and rejoined the crowd.

As the party began to wind down, Y/N found herself glancing toward CJ more than once. The weight of the dance lingered in her mind, a quiet moment she couldn’t quite shake. Whatever it was, she knew one thing for certain: the night had turned into something more than just another party. It felt like the start of something new.

The music pounded as the party carried on, the crowd growing louder and looser with each passing hour. Y/N had just finished another dance, her cheeks flushed and her smile lingering as she returned to the edge of the room. She grabbed her soda and leaned against the wall, scanning the crowd for Gabby, who was now deep in a lively conversation across the room.

CJ, still stationed near the drinks table, kept an eye on her. He’d spent most of the evening observing, content to stay in the background, but his gaze had followed Y/N more than he’d care to admit. There was something grounding about her presence, even in the chaos of the party.

Then he saw it.

One of the boys Y/N had danced with earlier hovered near the drinks table, his back partially turned. CJ’s easy posture straightened as he watched the boy pull a small vial from his pocket and tilt it over a red cup. The liquid inside dripped silently into the drink.

CJ’s jaw tightened. He stepped forward, his movements deliberate but unhurried, his voice calm but edged with steel. “Hey. What are you doing?”

The boy flinched, nearly dropping the vial as he turned to face CJ. His expression was a mix of surprise and guilt, his hands quickly shoving the vial back into his pocket. “Nothing, man,” he said, forcing a laugh. “Just making a drink.”

CJ didn’t buy it for a second. He glanced at the red cup on the table, then back at the boy, his eyes narrowing. “Making a drink, huh? For who?”

The boy hesitated, his gaze darting toward Y/N across the room before flicking back to CJ. “It’s for... a friend,” he said, his voice shaky.

CJ’s chest tightened further, his tone dropping. “Let me guess. A ‘friend’ who doesn’t know what you just put in that drink?”

The boy stiffened, his posture defensive. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Just a little something to loosen things up. Everyone does it.”

“Not here, they don’t,” CJ said firmly, stepping closer. His voice was quiet but carried an unmistakable edge. “Pick up that cup and pour it out. Now.”

The boy hesitated, his eyes narrowing. “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?”

CJ’s stare hardened, his tone cold enough to cut through the noise of the party. “I’m the guy who’s about to make this a very big deal if you don’t do what I just said.”

The tension between them thickened, the boy’s face flushing with anger and fear. For a moment, it seemed like he might argue—but CJ didn’t flinch. His presence was steady, unyielding, and it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere.

Finally, the boy huffed, grabbing the red cup and dumping its contents into the sink with a sharp tilt of his wrist. “Happy now?” he muttered, his voice dripping with resentment.

“Not quite,” CJ said, crossing his arms. “Now you’re going to leave. Before I decide this party needs a different kind of entertainment.”

The boy glared at him, his fists clenching briefly before he shoved them into his pockets and stalked toward the door. CJ waited until he was out of sight before exhaling, his jaw still tight as he turned back to the drinks table. He picked up the now-empty cup and placed it out of reach before scanning the room for Y/N.

She was still leaning against the wall, sipping her soda and chatting with Gabby, oblivious to what had just happened. CJ crossed the room, his strides purposeful but controlled.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice quieter than usual.

She turned to him, her smile fading slightly when she saw the tension in his expression. “What’s wrong?”

CJ hesitated for a moment, his tone steady but serious. “One of the guys here tried to spike a drink. I think it was meant for you.”

Y/N froze, her eyes widening. “What? Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” CJ said, his jaw tightening again. “I saw him do it. He’s gone now—I made sure of that. But I thought you should know.”

Her hand trembled slightly as she set her soda down, her voice shaking. “I... I can’t believe this. I didn’t even...”

CJ stepped closer, his tone softening. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N. This isn’t on you.”

Y/N nodded slowly, but the shock was still evident on her face. “I just... I don’t want to stay here.”

“Then you’re not staying,” CJ said firmly. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

The drive to Y/N’s apartment was quiet, the air between them heavy with unspoken thoughts. Y/N stared out the window, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. CJ glanced at her occasionally, his hands steady on the wheel.

When they reached her building, CJ put the car in park and turned to her. “You sure you’re okay?”

She nodded, but her voice was small. “Yeah. I’m just... shaken, I guess. I didn’t think... something like that could happen.”

CJ hesitated, then reached over and gently touched her arm. “It shouldn’t have. But you’re safe now, okay? And you’ve got people who’ll look out for you.”

Y/N’s eyes glistened as she nodded. “Thanks, CJ. For... everything.”

“Anytime,” he said softly. “Get some rest.”

Y/N opened the door but paused before stepping out. “Goodnight, CJ.”

“Goodnight,” he said, watching as she made her way inside. He stayed parked until she was safely inside her apartment, then let out a long breath as he pulled back onto the road.

The weight of the night lingered, but so did a sense of resolve. CJ had always been protective by nature, but tonight, it felt deeper—more personal. Y/N mattered to him. And he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. Not on his watch.

Monday morning at The Stand carried its usual energy—a mix of quiet determination and the hum of people preparing for another busy day of calls. CJ was already at his desk, organizing schedules and reviewing notes from the previous week. He hadn’t seen Y/N yet, but the events of the weekend still weighed on his mind.

Gabby arrived not long after, her usual bright energy filling the room as she waved at a few staff members and grabbed a coffee from the lounge. CJ stood, crossing the room toward her.

“Gabby,” he called softly, his tone more serious than usual.

Gabby looked up, her brow furrowing slightly at his expression. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk for a second?” he asked, motioning toward a quieter corner of the office. “It’s about the party.”

Gabby followed him, her cheerful demeanor giving way to curiosity and concern. “Sure. Is everything okay?”

CJ hesitated, glancing around to ensure they had privacy before speaking. “Something happened on Saturday. One of the guys at the party tried to spike Y/N’s drink.”

Gabby’s eyes widened, and she inhaled sharply. “What? Are you serious? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” CJ said quickly, his voice steady but tense. “I caught it before anything happened, and I got the guy to leave. But she was really shaken up. I drove her home after, and she seemed... off.”

Gabby crossed her arms, her expression darkening. “That’s awful. I can’t believe someone would try that—especially with her. She’s so sweet.”

“Exactly,” CJ said, his voice dropping. “I need you to keep an eye on her today. Make sure she’s okay. I know she might try to brush it off, but... just watch out for her. If she needs anything, let me know.”

Gabby nodded firmly. “Of course. I’ll stick close to her. She shouldn’t have to deal with that on her own.”

CJ gave her a small, grateful smile. “Thanks, Gabby. I knew I could count on you.”

“Always,” she said, her tone softening. “And... thanks for looking out for her. You’re a good guy, CJ.”

He shrugged, the weight of the weekend still visible in his expression. “It’s just... what we do.”

Y/N arrived a little later, her usual gentle smile in place but with a slight hesitation in her movements. Gabby was the first to greet her, pulling her into a warm hug that Y/N seemed surprised but grateful for.

“Good morning!” Gabby said cheerfully, though there was a subtle edge of concern in her eyes. “Ready to tackle the week?”

Y/N nodded, though her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Gabby looped an arm around her shoulders, steering her toward the lounge. “Come on, let’s grab coffee before things get crazy.”

CJ watched from his desk, his gaze lingering on Y/N as Gabby led her away. He could see the slight tension in her posture, the way she held her bag a little too tightly. It wasn’t his place to push, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of responsibility.

As the day went on, CJ kept a quiet watch from his desk. Y/N and Gabby worked together seamlessly, fielding calls and offering support to the teens who reached out. Every so often, CJ would glance over, catching Gabby throwing a reassuring smile Y/N’s way or leaning in to share a lighthearted comment.

By the time lunch rolled around, the office had quieted, the usual midday lull settling over The Stand. CJ glanced at Y/N, who was scribbling in her notebook at her desk, her brow slightly furrowed in concentration. He hesitated for a moment before walking over.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, his voice casual but warm. “Feel like stepping out for lunch? There’s a café just down the street. My treat.”

Y/N looked up, surprised but not unpleasantly so. “Oh, sure. That sounds nice,” she said, closing her notebook. “Let me grab my bag.”

The café was cozy and quiet, with a faint hum of chatter and the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. CJ picked a table near the window, gesturing for Y/N to sit as he set their drinks on the table—a latte for her and black coffee for himself.

Y/N looked around, taking in the warm, inviting atmosphere. “This is a nice spot,” she said, smiling faintly. “Do you come here often?”

“Every now and then,” CJ said, leaning back in his chair. “It’s a good place to decompress. Figured you could use a break today.”

She nodded, her smile softening. “Thanks. It’s been... a lot lately. But I’m okay.”

CJ studied her for a moment before giving a small nod. “I know you are. But it’s okay not to be sometimes.”

Y/N hesitated, her fingers tracing the edge of her cup. “I guess... I’m still a little shaken from Saturday. I keep thinking about what could have happened.”

CJ’s jaw tightened slightly, but his voice remained calm. “I get that. And it’s okay to feel that way. What happened wasn’t your fault, but it’s normal to replay it in your head. It takes time.”

She looked up at him, her gaze searching. “How do you do that? Just... stay so steady?”

CJ chuckled softly, but there was a hint of self-deprecation in the sound. “Trust me, it wasn’t always like this. I’ve had my share of chaos.”

Y/N tilted her head, curious. “You mentioned that before. About how you started at The Stand. But you didn’t really go into detail.”

CJ hesitated, his fingers tightening briefly around his coffee cup. He glanced out the window, the sunlight catching the edge of his profile, before turning back to her. “Yeah. I guess I haven’t shared the full story.”

He took a sip of his coffee, gathering his thoughts. “When I was a teenager, I had undiagnosed clinical depression. Didn’t know what it was at the time—just thought I was broken or something. I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I started drinking. It felt like the only way to quiet everything in my head.”

Y/N listened intently, her gaze soft but unwavering. CJ continued, his voice steady but carrying a weight of emotion. “It spiraled fast. I was skipping school, lying to my parents, pushing everyone away. I thought I was in control, but really... I was a mess.”

He paused, glancing down at his cup. “It all came to a head one night. I hit rock bottom—blacked out, made a complete fool of myself. My parents found me, and... they didn’t know what else to do. They shoved me into a rehab center, and I hated them for it at first. Thought they were just trying to punish me.”

Y/N’s brow furrowed slightly, her hands cradling her latte. “But it helped?”

CJ nodded slowly. “Yeah. It wasn’t just about getting sober, though. That was part of it. But the real turning point was getting diagnosed with depression and starting therapy. That’s when I started to understand what was actually going on. The drinking wasn’t the problem—it was the symptom.”

He looked up, meeting her gaze. “It took a lot of time and a lot of work, but I got through it. And when I got out, I decided I wanted to do something meaningful. That’s how I ended up at The Stand.”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, absorbing his words. “That’s... really brave,” she said finally, her voice soft. “To face all of that and come out the other side. I don’t think a lot of people could do that.”

CJ shrugged, but his expression softened. “It wasn’t just me. I had people who stuck by me, even when I didn’t deserve it. That made all the difference.”

Y/N smiled faintly, her eyes bright with emotion. “Still. It takes strength to go through something like that and turn it into something good. You’ve helped so many people, CJ. You should be proud of that.”

He smiled back, a quiet gratitude in his eyes. “Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot.”

They fell into a companionable silence, the tension of the conversation giving way to a lighter, more comfortable energy. After a while, Y/N glanced at the time and sighed. “We should probably head back.”

“Yeah,” CJ agreed, standing and grabbing their cups to toss in the trash. “Thanks for coming out. And... for listening.”

“Anytime,” Y/N said, her smile warmer now. “Thanks for sharing.”

As they stepped out into the bright afternoon, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a deeper sense of understanding—and connection—with CJ. His story wasn’t just about his past; it was about the strength it took to rebuild and the impact it had on the lives he touched. And in that moment, she felt lucky to be one of them.

The afternoon at The Stand passed in a blur of phone calls. Y/N had found her rhythm again, handling each call with a calm and empathetic tone that CJ couldn’t help but admire. Every so often, he’d glance over, watching her jot down notes or lean into a conversation, her focus unwavering.

CJ handled his own share of calls, each one a reminder of why he stayed in this work. Some were lighthearted—teenagers worried about friendships or navigating crushes—while others carried the weight of deeper struggles. By the time the clock signaled the end of their shift, the first and second shifts exchanged tired but friendly greetings as they passed one another.

As the second shift settled in, CJ stretched, rolling his shoulders as he tidied up his desk. Y/N lingered nearby, her notebook tucked under her arm, her expression thoughtful.

“CJ,” she said softly, her voice hesitant but clear.

He looked up, his brows raising slightly. “What’s up?”

“Do you have a minute?” she asked, glancing around at the bustling room. “I just... I have a question.”

“Sure,” CJ said, gesturing toward the quieter corner of the room. They moved away from the hum of the new shift, settling near one of the empty desks. CJ leaned against the edge of it, crossing his arms loosely. “What’s on your mind?”

Y/N hesitated, her fingers brushing the edge of her notebook. “I was just wondering... in all your years here, has there ever been a call that really stuck with you? Something that made an impact?”

CJ’s posture stiffened slightly, though he kept his expression neutral. It was a question he’d been asked before, but somehow, coming from Y/N, it felt different.

“There’s been a lot of calls over the years,” CJ said, his voice steady but quieter now. “Some stick with you for a while, some fade after a bit. But... yeah. There’s one that stands out.”

Y/N tilted her head, her curiosity evident. “What happened?”

CJ hesitated, his gaze flickering to the floor for a moment before meeting hers again. “It was about four years ago. A girl called in... late at night. She sounded scared, lost, like she didn’t know what to do. She talked about feeling alone, about the weight of losing someone close to her.”

Y/N’s breath caught slightly, but she stayed silent, letting him continue.

“She was hurting,” CJ said softly. “But even through the pain, there was something about her. She had this spark, this determination buried under everything else. I don’t know why, but... something about that call stayed with me. I never forgot her.”

Y/N’s fingers tightened on her notebook, her voice barely above a whisper. “Did you ever... find out what happened to her?”

CJ shook his head, his expression tinged with regret. “No. That’s one of the hard parts about this job—you don’t always get closure. But I like to think she found her way. She had it in her. I could feel it.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her gaze dropping for a moment as she absorbed his words. “That’s... incredible. That you could be there for someone like that.”

CJ gave her a faint smile. “It’s why I stay. For calls like that. You don’t always know the impact you’re making, but... sometimes, it’s enough to just be there.”

They fell into a quiet moment, the hum of the office around them fading into the background. Y/N glanced up at CJ, her eyes searching his face.

“Thanks for sharing that,” she said softly. “I can see why it stuck with you.”

CJ nodded, his smile faint but genuine. “Thanks for asking. It’s good to talk about it sometimes.”

As the second shift began to settle into their rhythm, Y/N stood, her notebook still tucked against her chest. “I should probably head out,” she said, her voice light but thoughtful. “But... if you ever want to talk about this kind of stuff again, I’d like to hear it.”

CJ’s smile softened, something warm flickering in his expression. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She returned his smile before heading toward the exit, her steps slow and reflective. CJ watched her go, a quiet thought lingering in the back of his mind. The girl from four years ago and Y/N—they were connected somehow. He couldn’t prove it, not yet, but the thought refused to fade.

As he turned back to his desk, he found himself glancing at the framed poem that had stayed with him all these years. The snowflake pendant Y/N had worn once crossed his thoughts, and his chest tightened. If she was the girl from that call... he wasn’t sure what that would mean. But he knew one thing for sure: he wanted to find out.

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dreamy-jaeger · 2 years ago

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I Know The End | Ch. 6

Zombie Apocalypse!Au, Older!Grumpy!Eren x Sunshine!Reader

Content: Reluctant traveling companions to lovers, Slight age gap, found family, eventual smut so Minors - DO NOT INTERACT.

Warnings: 18+, violence, mentions of SA, gore, animal abuse, murder, slight smut. (this chapter is really dark you guys, I apologize 😩)

Chapter Summary: The events of the ambush and it’s after effects. Personalities change and relationships shift.

Masterlist

A/N: omg you guys i’m so sorry i took so long to write this, i’ve just been hecka busy, but chapter 6 is here now!! and this one will give you whiplash, i can tell you that for free. i hope you like it!!!! <3

chapter 6

Eren’s P.O.V.

“So, you’re the motherfucker who killed Colt.”

Eren’s eyes shot open. He was met with the sight of bruised knuckles curled around a trigger, visible because of the pale glow of the moon streaming in from the windows. He held his breath, swallowing at the fear that was bubbling up his throat, not even daring a twitch of movement in the case this lunatic was trigger happy.

The view of the man holding him at gunpoint was obstructed by the weapon digging into his forehead, leaving his identity shrouded in mystery. Eren’s mind was running rampant with all the possible ways he could get himself out of this situation, the gears turning furiously.

Though as the last dregs of sleep began to slip away from his form, and reality began to set in with the overworking of his mind, Eren suddenly remembered it wasn’t just him that resided in this church. He wasn’t alone anymore.

Another painful reminder was the sound of bodies struggling, cries of help muffled by the palm of a hand.

Y/N.

Eren’s body jolted, an involuntary response from his desperation to help her. His shoulders raised off of the pew, though he was forced back down as the man pushed his gun harsher into his skin. It was sure to leave a bruise.

The man clicked his tongue three times in disapproval. “Don’t make any sudden movements, Casanova. Unless you want a bullet lodged in your skull.”

A harsh breath of annoyance pushed out of Eren’s nose as he bit his tongue, holding back any of the threats that wanted to slip over it. A muscle twitched in his jaw, his hands slowly raising up in begrudging surrender.

“Sit up.” The man ordered, and Eren could do nothing but comply. His boots met the solid ground of the church, his teal eyes glared daggers at the man who was now visible to him in this new position.

He was surprisingly well-kept for a man living in the apocalypse, his skin free from grime and his sandy undercut hair slicked back neatly. Tipping Eren off that these guys had come from somewhere established, a safe community where this type of look was achievable. Which only meant that there would be even more people waiting on their return. More people to come looking if they never did. He would have to move the girls out of here quickly— if they ever made it out of this mess.

Eren forced himself not to flick his eyes towards the door in the back where he knew Gabby and Ellie resided, most likely completely oblivious to what was ensuing in the main room of the church. If this guy was at all observant, he didn’t want to risk the chance of them being found.

He did however let his eyes fall towards the altar, to where he knew Y/N to be— once another terrified whimper seeped through the fingers of her captor. His blood spiked red hot with anger when he saw thick arms locking her in place against a hardened chest, half her face covered by a large hand, leaving only the sight of her pleading eyes to tug at Eren’s heart. She struggled against the man’s grip, feet kicking restlessly. But the man was too large, too strong, and there was a wicked look in his hazel eyes, like he found amusement in the woman’s distress.

Eren wanted him dead.

“Don’t look at her.” The first man spat, using his gun to force Eren’s chin back towards him. “Look at me.”

Gritting his teeth, Eren met his gaze, the man seemed to be getting the same amount of enjoyment out of this endeavor just as much as his counterpart. He was obviously the type of person who relished in the anarchy, thrived in it. Eren abhorred these types.

“Care to tell me why… despite my attempts to reach out to my contact stationed at this post, I received no response from him?” The man questioned, eyebrows furrowed with feigned confusion.

“And then when I come to check up with him, I find him dead with an arrow right between the eyes?” He then continued, his tone far too nonchalant to be speaking of the death of a comrade.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Eren said simply, his voice controlled.

The man’s lips curled into a smirk, a scoff ringing out into the air a second later. He shared a look with his partner before turning back towards Eren, shifting the gun to his temple.

“You sure about that?” He asked, bringing his face closer to Eren’s, his hot breath fanning over his skin. “Or is that not your crossbow?”

Eren’s eyes followed to where the man gestured with a nod, landing on Y/N’s crossbow that she had left leaned up against the pew that he had happened to choose that night. And it might’ve been odd, but Eren was grateful that the incriminating evidence pointed towards him and no one else. He was the one to blame. Hopefully he would be the sole receiver of whatever revenge they were planning.

“Oh.” Eren let slip from his lips, like the reminder flashed forward in time with the gesture.

“That’s all you have to say?” The man responded, “‘Oh’?”

“Yeah. I remember it now.” Eren answered with ostensible nonchalance, looking back towards him as if it were a casual conversation. “As I recall it, your contact didn’t put up much of a fight. He practically killed himself by getting in my way.”

A sharp sound of protest sounded out from Y/N, most likely trying to allude to the fact that it was her who killed their comrade and not Eren. He refused the urge to spare her a begging glance, to let him take the blame. He was unsure of what they would do if they knew the truth. And luckily (in Eren’s case), neither of the men took it as such, only believing she was still fighting against the forceful grip she was trapped under.

“Will you shut her up?” The man said, paying more attention to the distraction rather than Eren’s confession.

“I’m trying, Porco, but she’s not exactly putting up an easy fight.” The other replied, grunts of exertion protruding from his lips from every movement she made to get away from him. Eren felt a strange surge of pride at this, knowing that she was a fighter, just as he. It brought on a sense of hope that maybe they could get out of this unscathed, protecting the ones they care most about.

That all changed with the words that fell out of the so-called Porco’s mouth.

“I know a way we could get her to be quiet.” Porco replied, turning away from Eren. And though the gun was no longer pointed towards his skull, he was that much more afraid as Porco rounded on the woman in his partner’s arms.

“She is pretty…” He observed, stepping nearer. Y/N flinched away when he brought his knuckles up to her cheekbone, brushing against the skin that shined with frightened tears.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” Eren seethed, standing up from the pew, fists clenched. Though his aggression was quickly put to rest when Porco pointed the gun back at him. The man surged forward, a harsh hand on Eren's shoulder, weapon pressing abrasively— once again— against his forehead. He was brought down on his knees, complying when every part of him was screaming to fight, to draw blood, to kill.

“What was that?” Porco said as he advanced on him, maniacal with his words. “You don’t want me to touch her? That’s rich coming from you, Casanova.”

His grip was rough on Eren’s chin as he forced him to look up into his conniving facial features. Grin wicked as he licked his lips, every movement he made wanting Eren to drive his fist further and further into his skull.

“How about it, huh?” Porco sneered. “I’ll forgive you for killing my guy if you let me take a pass at your girl.”

“If you even lay a finger on her—”

“You’ll what?” He condescended, tilting his head in a way that angered Eren even further, “Have your brains splattered across the floor? I think you’re forgetting who has the upper hand here.”

Eren pushed his forehead against the weapon, trying desperately to prove that he wasn’t afraid. And maybe he wasn’t. His anger was forcing its way through every nerve in his body, enough so that he would stare down the barrel of a gun, knowing that whatever the outcome, she would remain unharmed. As long as she was safe, as well as the others hidden within the confines of the confession booth, he would do anything to take this threat away.

Though this was unapparent to the man who stood above him, who looked around the room as if he had an audience. Obviously taking pleasure in the chaos he was creating.

“You know what?” He said, his cruel smirk painting his features once more. “I don’t need your permission.”

Porco leaned forward, his lips pressed right up against Eren’s ear, correspondingly the gun was held up to his temple on the opposite side.

“I’ll fuck your girl right in front of you.”

There was a white blinding anger that surged through Eren’s core, forging through him with horrifying force. He imagined his teeth sinking into the skin of this man’s throat, ripping the tendons, blood pouring out from every crevice, making him pay for a comment like that, for the threat of his touch on Y/N’s skin. But the fantasy was interrupted by a harsh, agonizing scream.

And there were teeth and blood. But to Eren’s surprise it wasn’t his own.

Ellie had somehow escaped from the hidden confines of the confession booth. Her pointed teeth were digging their way through the forearm that was previously gripped around Y/N’s torso. Growls were escaping their way through the jaw that was locked around his appendage. Blood splattered across the floor.

“What the fuck?” The other man cried, trying to shake free from the grip of this dog that Eren had never felt more grateful towards, the defense that she provided allowing Y/N to slip free from his grasp. She fell forward, hands braced against the floor as she caught her breath. Though just as quickly, she looked back towards her dog, both she and Eren caught sight of the man lifting his arm in a powerful fist, bearing down on the dog that was fighting so valiantly.

“No!” Y/N screeched at the same exact time her dog let out a sharp and plaintive whimper under the strong blow the man ministrated against her. The dog released him, stumbling back— ears held against her head, tail tucked under her legs, wavering from the inflicted wound, looking so much weaker than what Eren had known of the animal. He wondered about the shaking dog Y/N had found in her basement, right on the precipice of the apocalypse.

But he couldn’t let the thought plague him for too long. Instead, under the distraction of it all, Eren brought the force of his elbow into Porco’s temple. The gun in his hand slipping from his grip, falling into Eren’s lap. It all felt so lucky, as Eren’s own hand wrapped around the weapon, fingers finding the trigger in a moment’s notice.

The man with his forearm bleeding freely was now advancing towards Y/N— dog forgotten as she cowered in on herself after that horrifying bludgeon. Y/N was scrambling, trying everything to get away, most likely hoping for a path that would allow her to get to her dog. What she didn’t notice was Eren pointing his newfound weapon at her adversary, and as soon as the man took another step forward, a bullet whizzed through the air, piercing itself between his eyes. Just as the arrow did his compatriot. He fell to his demise just the same.

A frustrated, curdling roar of anger sounded out from beside Eren, and before he knew it he was down on the floor, wrestling with the weight of a maddened man who witnessed the death of yet another one of his comrades. The gun, unfortunately, slipped from his grip within the pandemonium, skidding across the floor.

All Eren could focus on was the man who had somehow gotten the advantage. His thighs were trapping Eren in place, hands gripped into the fabric of his t-shirt.

“I’ll kill you.” The man raged, hands shifting upwards, tightening around the expanse of Eren’s neck. Eren’s legs kicked from underneath the man, trying everything to break free as his vocal chords began to restrict under Porco’s grip, fresh air being lost to his lungs. But his anger was matched with Porco’s, both of them filled with adrenaline from the actions taken against those closest to them. And with the upper hand now in Porco’s favor, Eren was at a disadvantage.

He was gasping, searching for any breath that could provide his lungs with relief. His fingers tugged at the rough hands wrapped around his throat. In each passing second death seeped in all around him from every corner of the earth. His life flashed before his eyes, starting with memories from his childhood, and then the beginning of the end, and the people he met throughout its duration. But all that mattered to him were the last couple of months when he found his humanity in the young girl he took in, as well as the last few days where his life finally felt complete now that he found—

A gunshot rang through the air once more. Porco’s grip loosened around Eren’s throat as he fell down beside him, brains now seeping onto the tiled floor, eyes glassy with death, perhaps a fate that was spoken into existence. Eren gasped in huge lungfuls of cold refreshing air, savoring the life that was almost taken from him. But his still-panicked gaze found purchase on the path the bullet had come from, landing on Gabby standing at the end of it. The gun was held aloft in her shaking hands, barrel steaming from the bullet that just blasted from its confines.

“Holy shit.” The young girl breathed, gun dropping to her side, “I just killed someone.”

“Gabby.” Eren croaked, vocal cords strained from the violence inflicted. He rolled over, propping himself up on shaky hands and knees. Regret brittled his bones, knowing that she had never done that before, wishing she didn’t have to at an age so young. It was a burden he never wanted her to bear. His efforts fallen flat within his missteps.

His movements were in an attempt to get to her, to make sure she was all right and that her humanity wasn’t being lost to her, the same way his own was the first time he drew blood. But once he was up on his knees, he caught sight of Y/N, sitting next to a dark lump on the floor. Eren’s heart lodged itself in his throat and before he knew it, he was up on his feet staggering over to where the woman sat, shoulders trembling with every sob that wracked through her body.

“Is she…” Eren choked out, dropping to his knees beside her, an arm instinctively wrapping around her shaking form. Despite her grievances, Y/N relaxed under his touch.

“She’s alive.” Y/N spoke, her voice small, almost to the point where her words came out as a whimper, though it was filled with an aching relief. Her hands smoothed over the head that now resided in her lap. The dog’s eyes were shut closed against the world around her, her breathing so shallow that Eren could hardly tell if her heart was still beating, he was hoping it was only because of the dark that surrounded them. Y/N continued her reassurances, almost as though she was trying to convince herself, even with the tremor that still plagued her.

“Just shaken up, is all. She’ll be alright… we’ve been through worse… But, Gabby—”

“—’m fine.” Gabby interrupted before any inquiries, she sat down on Y/N’s other side. “I’ll be alright too.”

“Gabby—” Eren started.

“I said I’m fine.” She reiterated, maybe a bit too harshly. Eren had opened his mouth to argue the fact, but then he felt as Gabby’s own arms snaked their way around Y/N’s waist, and the words faded off of his tongue.

All four of them were lost within their desperate need of solace, holding onto one another with shaking hands. Two dead bodies lay behind them, forgotten as they all sat in front of the altar with candles burned down to the wick. The faith that once was held in this building by previous loyal churchgoers now placed entirely on the delicate foundation of this forming bond between them.

Y/N’s P.O.V

8 years ago.

Chaos. That was all there was at the beginning.

It was like the world was distorted by a dark twisted filter of destruction. The sky seemed darker than usual, strange for a summer’s day in early June. There were rows and rows of stagnant cars as everyone tried to force their way out of the city. Soon replaced by horrified mobs that wouldn’t care if they trampled over those who tripped over their feet. All that mattered to the mass majority was to get away by all means from the ripping teeth and bloodied fingernails of the monsters that were now running rampant through the streets. Most of the efforts were in vain.

The bloodshed on that very first day was one of the worst blows humanity had ever taken.

Y/N was one of the few who was oblivious to the start of the apocalypse. A feat that seemed impossible, due to the fall of society that had overtaken their world. But she was on a train, headphones plugged in, her thoughts solely on the excitement of getting to see her family again after a year of being apart.

Though reality soon set in as the train started to slow to a stop, halfway between the two stations. Y/N remembered being annoyed at first, frustrated at the delay in her journey probably due to some technical difficulties, but the frustration was soon replaced by confusion as the passengers were evacuated from the locomotive.

The confusion then turned into fear when Y/N finally witnessed the chaos.

She tried calling her parents, her ear was met with low beeps as the call was disconnected. The lines were down, overrun with all the others trying to contact their loved ones. The people around her were no help, as they scrambled to find a way out of this mess once the conductor announced what was really going on. And as they all began to argue about what should be done— if they should take the train into one of the stations or wait for instruction from government officials— Y/N had decided that she could walk the rest of the way home.

With her luggage left behind, save for the backpack over her shoulder, she slipped away under the guise of all the mayhem.

It took her two days to finally reach the neighborhood where her house resided. The streets she grew up in were eerily quiet, nothing so much as stirring as Y/N made her way down the sidewalk.

Surprisingly, she hadn’t run into much during her journey home, since most of the damage was still convoluted within the bounds of the city. She didn’t run into any other living soul, only stopping to rest for thirty minutes at a time, eating the snacks she had preemptively packed for the journey home that should’ve been much simpler than this.

Every so often the ground would tremble, and in the distance would send echoes of great roaring booms. Perhaps the government had resorted to bombing what was left over… the thought unsettled Y/N in her bones.

She thought of her dog, who trembled at the sound of mere fireworks. Her heart ached. She prayed her family would have stayed home. Waiting for her. They had to know she would’ve done anything to get to them. They wouldn’t leave her behind.

However, her house was just as quiet as the street, proven by the lack of excited claws clacking against the floor, a sound she was used to hearing whenever she walked in through the front door. Her bottom lip began to tremble. But she wouldn’t let herself cry. Not yet.

Instead she moved into her kitchen. A place filled with happy memories of her little family making dinner all together. Her mom would be chopping vegetables, a bright grin on her face from the corny joke her dad just told as he stood over the stove. Ellie would be sitting on the precipice of the room, smart enough to know that Y/N’s dad would be quick to shoo her out if she attempted to step a paw further inside. Also smart enough to know that Y/N would eventually sneak her a piece of chicken when her dad was pretending not to look. All of those happy memories faded into these kitchen walls.

It looked so much emptier now that everyone was gone.

The image of her kitchen began to blur as tears filled the corners of Y/N’s eyes. Her throat was tight as she started to imagine the worst. Coming to terms with the fact that she was the only one left.

She was all alone.

Or was she?

An ominous creak rang out from deeper within the house, capturing the girl's attention. A knife that was left on the drying rack by the sink was now held secure in her hand. She ventured further into her childhood home, only stopping when she reached the closed door of her parents bedroom. There was a faded noise seeping in from under the door.

Y/N’s heart was racing. Her fingers grasped around the doorknob, turning slightly. The door creaked open as she pushed against it.

She was frozen in place.

That was until the sight in front of her had caused such a visceral reaction that bile forced its way up her throat. Unable to stop as she released the contents of her last feeble meal, splattering across the floor.

Y/N had heard briefly of what has been happening these last few days from a comment made by the conductor. That people have been turning into cannibals, eating at the flesh of their fellow man, aggressively and violently. Causing the people they bite to do the same, spreading the disease. And over the past forty-eight hours the girl feared having to run into one of those monsters. She didn’t. Until now.

Sat on the bed in the middle of the room were her parents. But not as she had ever known them.

Her father was hunched over the carcass of what used to be her mother. His teeth gnashing, crimson blood covering the expanse of his chin, as well as his fingers that dug into a gaping hole in her mom’s stomach, unaware of his daughter standing in the doorway. Though that changed when her coughing and hacking had caught his attention. He stared up at her with hungry eyes, slow moving, like he was about to pounce.

“Oh, dad.” Y/N mourned, holding the knife out in front of her, her tears now falling freely, burning hot down the skin of her cheeks. Is he not the man she once knew him to be? Does he not recognize his own daughter? Was she soon to have the same fate as her mother? The woman he married and always claimed to be the love of his life, now a gory mess on their marital bed?

Her father tumbled off of the mattress, his eyes still clouded over and angry. Lost in his irises— the same color as her own— was the warmth she had known throughout the eighteen years of her life. This thing was not her father. He was a monster standing in his place.

“Please…” Y/N whimpered as he started to stagger towards her, knowing that this could only end in one way. “Please, don’t.”

Of course he didn’t understand her, his possessed mind set on its current goal. Hands out reaching for her, a cruel imitation of when he used to do the same to pull her into a loving hug. A sob wracked through her body when she caught sight of a bloodied bandage wrapped around his forearm. Had he been one of the firsts to be bit? Had he not known what he would eventually turn into? Going to sleep besides his wife thinking it was just a freak accident and all would be fine in the morning?

The theories ran rampant in Y/N’s brain as she continued to back up, her father still lumbering towards her, hissing at the sight of her.

“Dad.” Y/N said again, almost like she was begging. Begging for him to stop. Begging him to turn back into the man that she once knew. She couldn’t do this without him. She couldn’t do this alone.

She was forced to stop when her back hit the wood of the door at the end of the hallway. It wasn’t fully shut, so it creaked as it slightly shifted back under the weight of her body. She knew what lay behind her. It was the staircase that led downstairs. She could escape down below, slam the door shut and avoid doing what she knew she had to.

But seeing him like this. Seeing her own dad, a shell of the man he once was, was too hard to bear. And she didn’t want to let this monster live in his place any longer than it already has. It was unfair that this thing had stolen her dad from her, stolen the feet stalking forward, stolen the hands reaching out, stolen the heart that was no longer beating, the eyes that were no longer loving and replaced it all with cold unfeeling death.

So with a newfound energy and rage, the girl raised the knife, plunging it deep into his skull with a strangled cry of exertion.

Her dad— now free from the unrelenting grasp of this monster— sank to the floor, unmoving.

“I’m sorry.” She cried, dropping down beside him, too afraid to touch him, but wanting one last moment with her father. Her salty tears dripped down onto his face, causing streaks to carve through her mother’s blood staining his chin. “I’m so sorry.”

She stayed like that for a few moments more, mourning the death of her parents. Her cries were loud and unrelenting, her hand was clutched to her chest trying hard to even out her breathing that was forging through her in staggered intervals. Her grief wouldn’t let her calm down, keeping her shoulders rigid and her throat raw.

But somehow through it all, she heard a new sound, wavering up from behind her, up the stairs and through the crack in the door. A muffled, warbled whimper, as if her grief was manifesting itself outside of her body. But that wasn’t it… no. She knew exactly what it was. Who it was.

Y/N scrambled to her feet, desperate in her movements, practically tripping down the stairs to where the sound was coming from. She rounded the corner, eyes searching for the dusty storage-space tucked underneath the stairs. A place of solace her dog always ran to when the boom of fireworks or the rumble of thunder became too overwhelming.

She was met with an occupied space. Big brown eyes staring up at her, her entire body shaking with fear, and a tail that slowly started thumping against the floor.

“Ellie.”

More whimpered cries escaped from the dog as she realized who was standing in front of her— a sound she always made when happiness overwhelmed her whenever a family member returned home. Y/N’s own tears gushed harder down her face, only this time with the most overwhelming relief she had ever known.

She dropped to her knees, the movement sparking the dog to stand up on shaky legs and move forward into her owner’s arms.

“I’m here, sweet girl.” Y/N whispered into her fur as the dog continued to cry, her tail now wagging more furiously as her familiar scent washed over her. Ellies nose was dry as she sniffed at Y/N’s cheeks, most likely due to a lack of water. Y/N would have to get some for her, as well as some food. But for now she had her arms wound tight around her dog, shoulders shaking with relief. She wasn’t alone anymore. Ellie wasn’t alone anymore. They had found each other within the chaos.

“I’m here.”

~ present day

“We have to go.”

Eren’s words were sharp with the command, maybe too soon after the fact. There were protests from Gabby, who tried to argue that there was more time needed to recover. Y/N wanted to agree with her— in favor of her poor old dog still trembling in her lap, but she knew that Eren was right. Especially at the mention that more of them could be on their way as soon as they didn’t hear back from the man that seemed to be their leader.

So now they were back to wandering through the forest, before the sun had even begun to rise. The shadows overcast from the trees were shifting and changing in Y/N’s tired mind, looking far too much like more enemies they might have to defend themselves against. She jumped more often than not at any slight movement, still shaken by the events that transpired.

Ellie was tied to her waist by a rarely-used leash, too worried to let her dog wander off like she usually did. Not that she would’ve done so, Ellie was sticking close to Y/N’s side, her movements slow and careful. Though, the reassurance the leash provided was always welcome. She wanted her dog near her, somewhere close, where she would be safe.

It would be a lie if Y/N said she wasn’t worried. Her dog had taken many hits before, some much worse than what happened tonight. But Ellie was getting old, her reaction time much slower than what it once was, now proven with the timid dog that walked in time with her steps. The bounce back of her usual energy was taking much longer than it ever has.

Y/N didn’t dare think of the extremities that could’ve taken place tonight, if her captor had been that much more forceful, or if Porco had been quicker with his gun. She could have lost the one thing that mattered most to her in this world. She still could. It was hard to keep the fear at bay. Death was imminent, there was no getting around it, but with the way Y/N’s worries plagued her mind it was like she enjoyed the torture of fearing the inevitable. Her overactive imagination was far too strong for her own good.

The only thing that anchored her to reality was the man who walked a few paces in front of her now.

Eren was strong with the way he moved through the shadowed forest, deliberate with his actions just as he was earlier that night. It seemed as though he wasn’t affected at all by what had happened, his strength resounding in the very way he kept them all moving. At the moment, Y/N was grateful for his resilience, it was like a spark of hope lighting itself against the aggressive darkness of dread.

It was the very lifeboat Y/N needed to pull herself from her own harrowed worries. She kept her eyes on the shoulders that were often brushed by the low hanging branches surrounding them. The sight of him keeping her present, keeping her moving.

Gabby, on the other hand, was far in the distance behind them, her feet dragging through the foliage that lay beneath their feet. Her demeanor was soft and quiet, unlike anything Y/N had known of her from before. Every so often Eren would turn, his teal gaze catching on to Y/N before shifting towards the young girl behind her. His brow would soon furrow every time he realized she hadn’t moved any closer.

With the time Y/N had now gotten to know the man, she knew that look well. He was worried— just as she was. Though this time it was more so than ever before. Perhaps he was worried for Gabby the same way Y/N was worried for Ellie. The events of the night caused far too much damage beyond the physical realm. The woman was unsure of what that damage could be for the young teenager, but it burdened her nonetheless. Since she now seemed to care about her as much as any other friend she’s had in her life.

So as the sun began to rise, and the day went on, there were many times when Y/N tried to engage the girl in conversation, ranging between casual topics to more in depth questions about what she was feeling at that moment. But every single time, her attempts were brushed off by a shrug and a brief comment of dismissal. A nut too tough to crack.

“Does she seem off to you?” Eren once asked, as they took a break by a small river, a babbling brook carving its way through the forest floor. Serene in its very nature and a sight that would usually excite the young girl. Though now she only sat silently on a large rock stationed near the bank, knees curled in on herself as she took in the scene.

Y/N pursed her lips at Eren’s question, unsure how to answer it without worrying him further.

“I don’t know, she’s quieter than usual.” Y/N replied, careful with her words. “We didn’t get much sleep… maybe she’s tired.”

“Yeah.” Eren responded, though he sounded unsure. “Maybe.”

The conversation was put to rest as soon as they continued on with their journey. The remainder of it was surrounded in silence as no one dared to speak. They passed through endless miles of forest green, their footfalls ringing out into the nature beyond. There was not a soul in sight beyond those within their group. There weren’t even any buildings from what they saw last of the church that faded into the distance behind them. The road was far gone as they ventured deeper and deeper into the trees.

When the sun was low in the sky, casting golden light over their heads, being quite obvious there was no promise of a shelter with four walls and a roof, Eren had finally conceded their journey.

“We need to stop for the night.” He had said, now standing in front of a naturally formed alcove, established in the side of a hill.

The rest of them gratefully accepted his notion, their tired feet now overworked from a day of walking. Gabby immediately threw off the backpack that was digging into her shoulders, it falling onto the forest floor with a resounding thump.

“Finally.” She relented, flopping down besides her belongings, seeming a bit more like herself. Y/N smiled softly at the display, her worry slowly beginning to ease its way out of her system.

“We can set up a fire here.” Eren continued as the action-man he always was.

“You think it’s safe?” Y/N inquired, unhooking Ellie from her leash, allowing her to sniff around the premises they deemed worthy for their camp.

“We covered a lot of ground.” He nodded, already clearing a space for a firepit. “And if we’re sleeping outside we’re gonna need the warmth.”

There were no arguments after that. Within the hour, as the light of the sun faded over the horizon it was replaced by the bright orange of a flickering fire, sparks popping up into the cool night air. The respective facial features of each person surrounding the heat was underlit by the dancing flames, each one of them stoic in their silence as they ate at the meal prepared by Eren— who had returned to the camp after searching for firewood, with a rabbit bouncing on his hip.

It was the first hot meal any of them had in days, a welcome comfort after the distress they faced. And it definitely raised Ellie’s spirits as she sat by Y/N’s side, staring eagerly as the woman picked small pieces of meat off the bone, drool slobbering from her lips. She grinned at the sight of her silly dog with her wagging tail. Never able to refuse her, Y/N gave her a bite between each one of her own.

When she had gifted her dog the last bite of their shared meal, Y/N rubbed her greasy fingertips across her jeans, her gaze shifting. And then she stilled. Her eyes landed on the man who sat across the fire, she was met with the blinding teal of his irises. He was already staring at her. And he didn’t even feel the need to be ashamed he had gotten caught. Instead, his expression was thoughtful as he considered her, slowly chewing his food. His strong features were accentuated by the fire below his feet, a reminder of how handsome he was, sending a jolt through Y/N’s spine.

She felt herself flush and quickly averted her gaze, eyes now landing on Gabby— who at that moment decided to push herself up to stand, thankfully stealing away Eren’s intimidating stare.

“I’m gonna hit the hay.” She said, clapping her hands free from any dirt.

“Take the sleeping bag.” Eren responded with no hesitation.

“Don’t need it.”

“Like hell you don’t.” He retorted, before pulling said sleeping bag out of his bag and tossing it her way. The girl plucked it out of the air with ease, but still rolled her eyes in the process.

“Fine.” She grumbled and then turned to go, probably hoping to make some distance between her and the firelight. But as the girl continued to walk away, Y/N realized she wasn’t stopping just beyond the orange halo of light the fire provided. She was moving deeper into the woods.

“Where are you going?” Eren was quick to react, standing on his feet. Gabby stopped at his words, turning to face him.

“I’m gonna sleep over here.” Gabby answered, jutting her thumb over her shoulder. Eren’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Why?”

“It’s called privacy, old man, ever heard of it?” She chided. Y/N noticed how a muscle twitched in Eren’s jaw. He took a step forward, perhaps about to drag the young girl back over to them by force. Y/N opened her own mouth before he could.

“Hey, Gabby?” She inquired, standing on her feet as well.

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind taking Ellie again?” Y/N asked, her tone soft with the question in contrast to Eren’s sharp frustration. “I think she prefers sleeping with you.”

A small smile flickered up on Gabby’s lips, she nodded simply and waited as Y/N prodded Ellie to follow after the girl, which of course she did happily. From the corner of her eye she saw Eren's shoulders visibility relax, but only slightly.

A deep sigh escaped his lips as he sat back down on the log he had dragged over near the fire earlier that evening, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Y/N fidgeted where she stood, unsure of what to do with herself now that it was just the two of them.

“I’m sure she’s alright.” Y/N offered, bending down over her own backpack to tug out a small blanket she had buried deep in its confines. Something to do with her hands.

“She’s not acting like herself.” Eren countered, his hand dropping down to his lap, revealing his worried features.

Y/N shrugged, not having much to say on the matter since she’s only known the girl for a short amount of time. She did notice the difference with her most recent demeanor, but Y/N was once a teenage girl too, and she knew how much of a rollercoaster that was in and of itself.

“Maybe she really does want privacy.” She mused, as she spread her blanket out across the forest floor, close to the warmth of the fire.

“She hates sleeping alone.” Eren blurted, “Ever since I found her. If I wasn’t near her when she woke up, she’d…”

Eren shook his head, his words fading off his tongue. Perhaps in respect to Gabby’s newfound want of privacy, not wanting to reveal the moments when she’s weak. But Y/N didn’t take offense to that. She understood. As well as the fact that the picture was already painted.

“It’s just… weird for her to want to be alone. Especially after last night,”

“Well, she’s not alone, is she?” Y/N reminded him with a soft smile. He met her gaze, his own lips twitching up slightly with the reassurance.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He breathed, “Thanks… for that.”

Y/N shrugged off his gratitude, shaking her head, “Nah, don’t worry about it. It was the truth anyways, I think Ellie likes her more than me.”

Eren let out a low chuckle at that, causing Y/N’s stomach to dip. Her bottom lip tucked between her teeth to hold back a brighter grin. She hid her face by focusing on straightening out her blanket, even though she didn’t really need to.

“Are you going to sleep?” Eren asked, his attention being caught by her redundant movements.

“Um… Yeah.” Y/N said, her tone going up a pitch with hesitation. She had made the decision in the pause between her words. She wasn’t exactly planning on going to bed, but she supposed that’s exactly where she was headed with her current actions. “Are you?”

“I’ll probably stay up.” Eren told her. “Take watch.”

“Okay.” Y/N nodded, and then she paused again, looking around.

“Don’t you have a sleeping bag too?” She questioned.

“Oh, uh, no.” Eren replied, looking down at his feet. “That was our only one.”

“Won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine.” He reassured her. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the man, unconvinced, but with the soft smile he offered her she found herself letting it slide. So instead of arguing, she slipped underneath her blanket— unconventional for sleeping besides a campfire, but better than nothing. And once she was settled, back turned away from the fire (as well as Eren’s burning gaze), her exhaustion finally registered in her brain. It was almost a surprise how quickly sleep took over her form.

Though she slipped out of it just as quick a few hours later at the aggressive sound of chattering teeth. She woke up with a furrowed brow as the sound had snuck into her dream in a confusing fashion. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she raised herself on one palm, looking around the now darkened camp. The fire was almost completely out, only a few glowing embers sat among the ash. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she took in the sight of Eren’s shadowed form, laid out in front of the log he once sat at. His shoulders were shaking, curled in on himself for any sense of warmth.

“Eren?” Y/N croaked. He jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Shit—” He sat up quickly from his position on the floor. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”

Y/N shook her head, to forego his apology, though she quickly realized how dark it was, and felt foolish since he probably couldn’t even see the gesture.

“That’s alright.” She then whispered, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine.” Eren replied.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” She questioned again.

“Not at all.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. Another thing he couldn’t see, but maybe he could feel the force of her frustration as he spoke again.

“I’m alright.” He reiterated. Y/N let out a huff of annoyance. And then Eren’s teeth started chattering again. This was ridiculous.

“Eren, I’m not deaf, you know?” She argued. “I’m cold just listening to you. Take my blanket.”

“Then you’ll be cold.” Eren countered through the dark.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take next watch.” She told him.

“But you were still sleeping.” Apparently he wouldn’t let this go. And Y/N’s patience was wearing thin.

“Fine.” She stated, her tone decisive just as her next choice. “Then come here.”

“What?”

“Come here.” She repeated, her frustration now very apparent.

“Why?”

“The way I see it, we can either keep arguing who gets to take the blanket or we can just skip ahead to the obvious solution.” She answered, sitting up all the way, her eyes finding purchase on his shadow in the dark.

“And the solution is…?”

“We’ll share.”

Eren didn’t respond after that. In fact it even sounded like he wasn’t breathing at all. He went so still that Y/N almost thought he had fallen back asleep. Or maybe even left her alone by the dying fire. She opened her mouth to say something more, but was cut off when Eren finally spoke.

“Are you sure you want to?” He asked, his voice barely above a murmur.

“Neither one of us wants the other to be cold.” She said, her frustration taking a back seat as she matched his tone. “It’s the only way.”

He paused again. But this time Y/N was certain he was there.

“Okay.”

Through the shadows of the night she heard shuffling as Eren stood from his spot. The sounds of his slow footsteps signaling his arrival to her side of the camp. When he finally reached her he had stopped— standing above her, hesitating for what was to come next.

Y/N stared up at him, his teal eyes somehow shining through the dark. Her stomach dipped once again once she realized how close he would be within a few seconds. Maybe that’s why he took a pause, maybe he realized the same thing. Y/N wondered if she should be nervous. Though she definitely was, as her hands trembled in her grip around the blanket. Even so, she held his gaze as she peeled back the fabric. A silent invitation.

A deep breath was released from the man in front of her, perhaps preparing himself. Though the pause was much shorter now as he soon accepted it.

They were silent as he placed himself beside her, fingers brushing when he went to grab his corner of the blanket from her. A soft gasp escaped her throat when they did. Y/N prayed Eren didn’t hear it.

Though that would almost be impossible considering how close they were. Y/N’s blanket was small— small enough to fit in her backpack comfortably with the rest of her items— so for it to be able to cover the both of them fully, their shoulders had to be pressed together, their backs against the forest floor. They both lay rigid, and uncomfortable. Afraid to move. Afraid to breathe.

They laid like that for a while.

“I’m worried about Gabby.” Eren whispered into the air, surprising Y/N once he broke the silence. His tribulations from before still haunting him to the point where he must’ve needed to say something out loud. Maybe their proximity made him feel safe to do so.

“How so?” Y/N encouraged, knowing that he’ll eventually reveal what was really going on, hopefully providing clarity on his own theories on why Gabby was acting so differently.

“She’s never killed anyone before… a person, I mean. ”

Oh. Y/N’s heart sank. What a strange joke made by the universe. Just the night before they were confiding with one another about the burden left behind by the cruel acts this new world forced your hand to make. And now Gabby was faced with the same moral dilemma. Even if the man deserved it, having to kill someone with your own two hands takes a toll. The first one being the worst of them all.

“I never wanted her to have to do that.” Eren continued, his words said with a slight strain in his voice. Y/N didn’t dare look over, in case he was displaying emotions that didn’t want to be shared. She kept her head faced towards the sky above, stars blinking down from between the branches of the high standing trees.

“I knew it was inevitable.” He added, and then he released another harrowed breath. “But she’s just a kid. I wanted to hold it off as long as possible… but now that it’s happened, I’m scared— no, terrified that…”

“That it will change her.” Y/N finished for him.

“Yeah.” He responded, even though she didn’t phrase it as a question. The word hung in the air above them, neither of them really knowing what to say.

“Well it is going to change her.” Y/N then said, ripping off the bandaid. “It already has.”

“I know.” Eren conceded, “But she shouldn’t have to know what it’s like. And now that she does… I’m even more terrified that she’s gonna end up like me.”

Y/N let herself look at Eren at that. His features were lost to the darkness, but she could see the silhouette of his nose. He was still looking away. Though his head slightly twitched towards her as she shifted under the blanket, changing her position so that she lay on her side, arms curled into her chest.

“Is that such a bad thing?” She whispered.

“If you knew who I was before… What I did before… maybe it is.” He replied.

“Before what?” Y/N questioned.

“Before Gabby.” He murmured. “...Before you.”

He turned his head to look at her, their gaze finally meeting once more. Y/N saw the worry that had been flickering over his irises all day, now at full force as he admitted his fears and his regrets. Y/N sucked in a breath, her own eyebrows tugging up with concern at what his self image was. She felt a desperate need to change that for him.

“As far as I can tell, if this is the person you are after meeting Gabby… if she was the one who pulled you out of whatever you used to be, I think she’ll be just fine. If you’re there to do the same.”

Eren’s eyes softened at her words. The tension slowly seeped out of his shoulders.

“She’ll need you there too.” Eren breathed, he shifted his body into the same position Y/N was in, they now faced each other head on, nowhere to hide as they held onto each other's gaze.

“You think so?” She murmured, a small spark of warmth glowing behind her sternum at the inclusion. It felt silly to be somewhat excited about the prospect, but it made her realize just how badly she needed the reassurance.

“I know so.” He assured her.

“And what makes you so confident?” She replied, lips tilting up in a half smile, her teasing coming out at the most inopportune moments. But Eren paid it no mind. Instead he simply answered her.

“Because I needed you.”

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat. Her smile sliding off of her face in quick succession. His honesty sent a jolt of surprise to run through her nerves. Her eyes searching his face for any sign of the joke he must obviously be playing on her.

“At the church, you asked me if that was the case.” He continued, since Y/N’s words were lost to her. “And I just thought you should know that I do. I need you.”

“I need you too.” Y/N whispered, the confession falling so easily off of her lips. Almost like she was just falling into the motions of this conversation.

But of course the words were true. They couldn’t have been anything else. It was proven in the short amount of time they had known each other that they already needed one another to survive in a world like this. But perhaps there was something hidden. A deeper meaning that was not yet discovered. Or rather, not yet revealed. It was too soon to do so now. So perhaps they can hang on to the surface level, and find satisfaction within the shallow end.

Eren sucked in a breath at her reciprocating words. Almost like they were a surprise to him. But his softened features twisted harshly once again as remorse seemed to take over.

“I’m so sorry.” Eren had then said, closing his eyes and shaking his head against the earth beneath them, confusing Y/N in the process.

“For what?”

“For letting them hurt Ellie, letting them get to you.” He whispered, teal eyes revealing themselves, filled with shining regret. “And then when he… when he threatened to—”

“Eren.” Y/N said, her tone now pleading, knowing where he was going with this. She was desperate to stop the oncoming spiral he was headed towards.

“He was going to…” He swallowed around the words, unable to say them out loud.

“But he didn’t.” Y/N asserted, placing a hand onto Eren’s freezing cheek. His own large hand moved to cover it, like it was instinctual for him to do so.

“You must’ve been so scared.” He strained, fingers wrapping tighter around hers.

“I wasn’t scared.” Y/N shook her head, confidence dripping from every word. “Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you were there.” She whispered as she shifted their hands so that they were now clasped in the small space between their bodies, wanting to make sure that he saw the truth within her irises. “I knew I’d be okay— that we’d all survive, because you wouldn’t have it any other way. There was no room for fear knowing that.”

Eren’s eyes flicked over each feature on Y/N’s face, as if he were looking for any hidden lies. When there were none to be discovered, a shaking breath of relief escaped from between his lips. He nodded in agreement.

“That’s what I felt too.” He revealed. “Having you there with me.”

“We make a pretty good team, huh?.” She smiled softly at him, causing a soft chuckle to push through his nose. The sound of content being the greatest thing she’s ever heard.

“I suppose we do.” He inevitably agreed.

And that was the last thing said before they let their conversation slowly fade into the night, being replaced by the soothing caress of sleep. The sound of their even breaths moving in time, their hands still intertwined between them.

Eren’s P.O.V.

Eren awoke to the sound of birdsong, and gentle blue sunlight that only shows itself in the early hours of the morning. His eyes were left without the usual bitter sting that came with a restless night of sleep. In fact, he had felt more rested than he had in years. Perhaps the difference was the woman that now resided in his arms, a position that must have formed itself sometime during the night.

The faded scent of mint overwhelmed his senses with his nose pressed into her hair. His rough calloused fingers had somehow slipped under the fabric of her shirt, firm against the burning skin of her hip, her back was held tightly against his chest from their proximity.

His heart stuttered, having her this close to him. Though he felt uncertain of how he was supposed to react to it all. Was he allowed to relish in the press of her body against his own? Was this something she wanted or perhaps it was all unconscious actions done under the influence of sleep and a need for warmth.

Of course that was when the woman shifted in his arms, though only doing so to sink deeper into the solid form of his body. Unfortunately, the action brought forth a shocking discovery when the curve of her ass brushed lightly across his crotch.

A low hiss escaped his lips when that in turn brought notice to the natural phenomenon that occurred behind his zipper whenever the sun would rise. Eren’s touch became softer and more unsure as he held his breath, willing all of the strength inside his body to hold himself still, not wanting to give her a rude awakening. But Y/N only relaxed further into his chest, the entirety of her now pressing solidly against the whole of him. He prayed to the universe that she was still asleep and unaware of what was happening behind her.

Eren shut his eyes, focusing on the pattern of his breathing.

They shot open when Y/N shifted her hips once more, ever so slightly but somehow more intended. Was she awake? Did she know what she was doing?

He found out the answer to that when she did it again, this time very much purposefully as the roll of her hips pulled a groan from deep within Eren’s throat. His own hips pressing back into her of their own volition. A soft sigh escaped the girls lips at the accidental reciprocation, her sound of satisfaction causing his cock to twitch in his pants.

“W-what are you doing?” He murmured into her hair, his hands shaking as they searched for an appropriate place to rest. His brain fuzzy as Y/N found a consistent pattern, his breathing growing heavy in her ear.

“Nothing.” She whispered softly, almost convincingly innocent. The next harsh grind of her ass caused Eren's hand to shoot out and grip at her waist.

“This isn’t why— shit—,” Eren strained, trying to convey that she didn’t have to do this for him, the words fumbling over his tongue. “I don’t want you to think that I—”

“—Shh. ’m not thinking anything.” She cooed, snaking a hand up to rest on the back of Eren’s neck, bringing him closer. A spark of electricity shot down his spine at the touch of her fingertips against his skin. “Just feels good.”

“Y-yeah.” Eren agreed breathlessly, dipping his nose down into the crook of her neck. “It does.”

Her reassurance brought a sense of confidence to the man, his grip growing harsher against her waist as he began to rut into her more deliberately. A sweet moan protruded from Y/N’s lips, the sound of it resounding in another twitch of Eren’s cock.

Heat began to surge all around them in a great contrast to the cool morning air. Unreleased tension threatened to burst as they continued to work themselves up. Y/N’s ass was now pushing back into him with a gentle rhythm, Eren pressing himself into her harder with each one of her back-thrusts.

Harsh desperate breaths wavered out from their throats, punctuated every so often by Eren’s low grunts and Y/N’s tiny whines.

Every part of Eren was on fire, a sheen of sweat layering itself onto his skin as he continued to hump into her, chasing a high that was dangerously close, far too soon.

Not that the woman in front of him was doing any better. She was arching into every firm grind of his hips, her mouth hanging open in a silent moan, shivering under the fingertips that Eren was now dragging over her skin, deeper into the fabric of her shirt. A sharp gasp left her lips when they brushed the fabric of her bra, catching on the hardened nipple underneath.

“Does that feel good?” Eren smiled into her hair, earning another sweet moan from the pride in his voice.

“Mhm.” She whined, nodding her head, her movements becoming quicker in her excitement.

“Feel’s good for me too, sweetheart.” He groaned, the nickname falling freely from his lips through the dizzying cloud of pleasure. “Gonna make me cum.”

“Please.” Y/N begged, grabbing the hand that was on her waist and holding it there, a silent concession to take what he needed from her.

A deep shudder rolled through Eren’s shoulders at the anticipation. More grunts tumbling from his lips with every thrust. He was pushing himself harder into her than ever before. He was close, so close—

“Ellie!”

The sound of Gabby’s voice had the two adults scrambling apart. Their secluded bubble of lust now burst and raining down on them with heavy disappointment and unyielding embarrassment. Abrasive in his actions, Eren stood quickly from his spot, turning away from the scene of the crime. Only for his eyes to land on Ellie, who sat at the precipice of the clearing, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, tail thumping wildly against the foliage.

The stupid, fucking dog.

“Don’t run off like that!” Gabby was soon to appear behind her, sleeping bag tucked under her arm.

Before Gabby caught sight of them and any shame that might still be lingering in the air, Eren quickly turned to the nonexistent last glowing embers of the fire, pretending to stomp them out like that was his plan all along. He heard the zipper of Y/N’s backpack behind him, surely busying herself with a different menial task to feign innocence.

“Morning.” The teenager called out as she closed the distance left between them. The two of them returned her greeting with some of their own, awkward in the way they spoke. But the young girl didn’t seem to notice, only moving to pack up the sleeping bag, completely unaware of their fragile facade.

Eren scratched at the back of his neck, the burn of Y/N’s touch ever present.

What the hell just happened?

~~~

A/N: Honestly this chapter is all over the place but I hope you like it!! hehe! let’s see where there relationship goes from here, shall we?? muahaha ILYSM thank you for reading! <3<3

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