#spent the last three months getting so high i experienced time in liquid form so i havent really thought of drugs as something to tag

[vvhiskeyuncle]

and they were ROOMMATES

[the-blind-assassin-12]

June Prompt #2- Carpe Diem

A POINT OF NO RETURN FLASHBACK 

A/N: Shh. It’s still June. Couldn’t leave past Clara and Ezra in the past, so here is another flashback from those three happy years on the farm before everything fell apart. This is closer to the three year mark in the PoNR timeline. I loosely based the stream behind Clara’s farm on the photo below- it’s one I took a few years back at Enfield Falls in NY. (The darker parts right under the small waterfalls are the deeper pools) 

Request: “skinny dipping” from @cannedsoupsucks​ 

WC: 1.6k

Warning: oh just a little hint of zesty times. can’t really skinny dip without those. 

Seasons turned quickly on Kamrea. 

The Thulian harvest spanned only three weeks before the rains came, soaking the land and raising the water level in the streams. After the month-long deluge, there was a blip in the weather patterns lasting anywhere from a few days to a week or two when the combination of the planet’s position and the clarity of a sky scrubbed clean of clouds made for breathtaking views. During that indeterminate window, the Vernal Star was at its brightest, giving the world a golden yellow glow, but the cerulean hued ocean planet Lao and its moon Brizo were also visible to the naked eye, and at certain times of day the light refracting off of Lao’s waters made the whole sky flash green. When the winter came it did so in a hurry, too, sweeping in under the dim purple light of the Hibernal Star, flash freezing the fields and orchards, and turning the Lakelands to ice. Snow flurried lazily for a fortnight or so and melted before it ever added up to an inconvenient amount. Before long the rotation of seasons was pivoting back towards planting and tending and time to get to work before the harvest crept up again.  

To an outsider, someone who hadn’t grown up there, life on Kamrea might easily seem rushed, stressful. Clocks ticked and calendar pages filled with Xs as Kamreans bustled along to keep with their constantly shifting time constraints and limitations. Nothing lasted long, and if you blinked you could miss things like the malachite color of the spring starshine bouncing off the waves on Lao or the iridescent glow Brizo gave off, even the faint but sweet smell in the air that signaled the beginning of the Thulian growing season, and you would have to wait an entire year for another chance.  

But to those who had spent enough time there, whether they grew up on the fertile planet like Clara or had transplanted themselves on Kamrean soil as Ezra had done, the pace and rigidity of the seasons wasn’t something to fight or fear. Instead it was a constant reminder that life was happening now, not later, that there was beauty in catching a moment that was meant to be fleeting, in appreciating small slices of time. Each day came with the potential to see or hear or feel something never experienced before, and the potential to miss those moments seemed only to invigorate the Kamrean philosophy of making every moment count. 

Which is precisely what I am doing. 

Ezra looked up between the branches of the crater-oak that the swing he and Clara occupied hung from, at the thunderhead that had been gathering in the sky over the last hour or so. Kamrea was about to experience one of those split-second switches, where it would cease to be Harvest season with the first raindrop to plummet from the fat-bellied clouds. Any minute, they and the fields and the barn and the town over the hills and everything else on this side of the globe would be caught in a deluge and soaked to the bone, to the roots, to the bedrock. He moved his arm from the backrest of the wooden swing to wrap around Clara’s waist, hand resting at her hip. 

Any minute now. 

Looking back down at Clara, he saw that she had taken her eyes off of the rippling stream that the swing was situated on the bank of, and turned her attention skyward as well. What little daylight that hadn’t been squeezed out by the clouds and managed to make it down through the foliage lit the profile of her face in clean, green-tinted hues and he briefly wondered if other people felt this level of awe and devotion when they were with the one they cared about most in life, or if this was unique to the two of them. If they don’t then I truly pity them. 

He watched her shoulders rise and fall as she sighed, the small motion one he had seen her do countless times before but still always bringing a flush of warmth to his chest. “End of another season.” She gave him a smile that quirked to one side, a mixture of pride and nostalgia and love for her farm twinkling in her eyes to make her face light up more than the leaf-filtered, cloud strangled starshine could. Oh, look at you, my Clara. Her tongue poked out then to wet her lips, and she stood from the swing, both of her hands clasping around the one of his that had been at her waist to pull him to his feet. “We should get inside before it starts coming down, or we’ll be soaked.” 

We certainly will be, that’s correct. 

“I think that you are absolutely right, Huckleberry.” Ezra took his turn to smirk then, catching her completely off guard as he stood only to use her own grips on his much larger hand against her. Pulling back, he yanked her into his arms, the second one swiftly enveloping her to make sure she was tucked tightly against his body, and then he jumped from the bank into the stream, plunging them both into one of the naturally formed deep pools at the base of one of the stream’s small cascades. Clara’s surprised gasp of his name devolved into a laughing shriek as their clothing suctioned to their skin, their hair dripping in their eyes, rivulets of cool, clear liquid running down their cheeks.  

The pool that he had jumped into was shaped like a circular basin, cut and carved by the force of the water spilling over the tiered rocks that brought the upper level of the stream to meet the level at the bank. It wasn’t rushing with extreme force now due to the dry harvest season, but once the rains came and filled the stream past its bursting point, the water would fall in relentless torrents that over centuries had created a deeper pocket in the streambed, an ephemeral pool that was currently deep enough for both of them to be submerged when he jumped, but still shallow enough for him to be able to touch the bottom. 

He set his feet down, thankful that the two of them had kicked their shoes off before sitting on the swing, both pairs still dry under the tree, and Clara wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms winding around his neck as his hands bolstered beneath the pockets of her denim shorts. Her eyes were still wide with shock, her lips wide in a laughing grin, and her sopping wet ponytail sprayed him with droplets as she shook her head. “Ezra! What are you- why did you do-” 

Before she could get a full question out, ripples started appearing on the surface of the water, a slow pattering sound accompanying them as rain started to fall, hitting the leaves of the crater-oak and plopping into the stream. “Well, it’s like you said,” he leaned in and used his tongue to collect a bead of water from in front of her ear, lips brushing her skin as she shivered and clutched him closer. “It was inevitable that we would end up water-logged one way or another.” 

He pulled back in time to see her breastbone sink, her breathing labored from his warm tongue on her damp skin, her light colored tank top nearly see through and plastered to her curves. Ezra had seen Clara come in from the rain. He’d seen her after a shower, Kevva, he’d seen her in the shower. He had seen her get wet when making adjustments to the irrigation system, or when he’d splashed her with soapy dishwater in the kitchen. But he had never seen this- the unexpected look in her eyes, the rush of excitement, the sheer absurdity of trying to avoid getting rained on and ending up in chest high water instead. You are the most ravishing woman in all of Kevva’s creation, Clara.

She laughed, pressing and rolling the curve of her forehead against his before replacing it with her lips. “Yes, but now our clothes are all-” 

Ezra took one of his hands away from where he held her to work its way between her shirt and her body, pulling upwards until his fist with the material bunched in it surfaced, and he peeled the soaked garment over her head. Making expert work of the clasp on her bra, he rid her of that, too. Before he returned his hand to the globe of her ass beneath the water, he let it trail down the valley of her chest, thumb and pinky grazing the inside curves of her breasts and pulling a breathy sound from her throat. “What was it you were saying about our clothes, Huckleberry?” 

He tilted his chin, cocking his head to one side as he switched hands beneath the water, bringing his other one between their bodies to the zipper of her shorts, yanking down as she stuck both of her hands under his shirt, running up the sides of his body as she followed his lead and rid him of his top. Flinging the olive green shirt that now looked black with how soaked it was onto the bank, Clara reached under the water to help him free her from the cutoffs she wore, their eyes meeting as their wet fingers bumped together in their hurry. 

“Just that we need to get them off, Ezra.” That clean, innocent light in her eyes that was filtering through the trees just moments ago was gone, replaced with a burning desire that the stream nor the rain could do anything to quell. “We need to get them off, right now.”

.

.

.

*taken from JSTOR:  Gathering flowers as a metaphor for timely enjoyment is a far gentler, more sensual image than the rather forceful and even violent concept of seizing the moment. It is not that as a culture we can’t understand what it means to harvest something when it’s ready—we do have related metaphors like “making hay while the sun shines,” after all. But there is something in the more Hollywood phrasing “seize the day” that has clearly resonated with people in the last thirty years. We understand the phrase to be, rather than encouraging a deep enjoyment of the present moment, compelling us to snatch at time and consume it before it’s gone, or before we’re gone.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from the tags for this or any of my stories/characters, please feel free to let me know! :) 

Tags: @something-tofightfor​ @alraedesigns​ @pheedraws​ @shoopidly​ @fific7​ @valkblue​ @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan​ @cannedsoupsucks​ @tobealostwanderer​ @paracosmenthusiast​ @gracie7209​ @dihra-vesa​

[utterlyinevitable]

The Conference (Part 5)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 2.9k Rating: T+ Warning: Some cursing  Summary: Rebecca reminisces about the night she finally pushed Ethan away. 

Author’s Note: ngl the last part with the ryan arc was 100% self indulgent. it was also the first thing i wrote and built the series around. have ya ever had a friend/lover/someone you never got a proper goodbye with and carried with you everything you wish you’d said? yeah. that’s what that was. it also is the perfect contrast to mc x ethan’s relationship.

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamwrites @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie @interobanginyourmom @queencarb @imactuallytheceoofthecompany @rookiefromedenbrook @eramsey28 @choicesficwriterscreations @heauxplesslydevoted @schnitzelbutterfingers @purpledragonturtles @ramseyandrys​ @ermidc @mrsdrakewalkerblog

________________________________________

I finally walked into the foreign and dimly lit tavern after wasting the beginning hours of my day off scrolling through Bumble, scouring the app for a good distraction. Eventually I found one - a legal assistant named Cameron. He was cute and his choice of profession gave me the feeling he could carry an intelligent conversation with minimal sexual advances. His tone was friendly enough and a little awkward at times but harmless. We messaged back and forth for like an hour and a half before agreeing to a date across town. 

I made sure to put on my best face, watching youtube tutorials for the perfect date night eye to accompany my black cap sleeved maxi dress - you know that one with the high slit. A little bit of sultry but not enough to give him the assumption he could take me home. 

I’d never been to The Happenstance tavern before. Hell, I barely had any time to explore parts of the city that weren’t directly surrounding Edenbrook. I was pumped with adrenaline for my first actual date in god knows how long. Thus for once in my life I was fifteen minutes early and decided to sit at the bar to calm my nerves. 

I’m meeting a stranger I’ve had half a conversation with an hour ago! In a part of the city I’ve never been to! What am I doing!? 

I didn’t even have a chance to flag down the bartender before my name was called over my shoulder. 

“Rebecca,” my name fell expertly off his lips and I turned towards the velvety voice fully thinking my date was nervous enough to arrive early too.

There he was, only a footfall away. My eyes quickly and involuntarily trailed over him. His slate gray slimming slacks elongating his legs and outlining the curvature of his manhood, a navy blue polo tucked in with the two top buttons undone and form fitting to hide the taut muscles underneath but accentuating the uncertain look in his eyes. 

The hair stood at the back of my neck and I swear goosebumps coated my skin. 

Nope. No. Nope!

Immediately I turned right back around on my stool. 

Not happening! 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking the empty seat and motioning to the bartender for two more of whatever he had earlier. 

I had been ignoring Ethan, as best I could given our close workplace dynamic. We’d only talk about patients and pertinent information to the caseload. No hello’s, how are yous or see you tomorrows. Nope. Those little accolades were reserved for friends - someone you actually give a damn about. 

It had been nearly twelve weeks since we spent that last night of heated passion in my apartment; 12 weeks since I thought it was the start of something new, the start of us. As surely as he promised me we would make a future work, he took it all right back. Running all the way to the fucking Amazon. But I forgave him the moment he came back and our eyes locked in the beer garden of Donohue’s. I trusted him above all else - his reason for leaving was probably justified. Oh how wrong I was. I kissed him and he - he did nothing. He reset us without my knowledge. He made the executive decision for my heart. 

That was the final straw. 

He couldn’t keep toying with me and my emotions. No. No more push and pull. That’s not a lover that’s… that’s... I’m not quite sure what that was but it certainly isn’t the actions of a respected partner. He knew where I stood and I needed to take my own stand - to continue living my life as if I never experienced him. 

I chose to push him away. 

To move on from chasing the notion of wholly and completely loving The Ethan Ramsey. Finally. 

“If you must know, I have a date,” I said with the most nonchalant malice I could muster.  

There was a thick and uncomfortable silence taking up the small foot of space between our seats. 

I was staring dead ahead at the bottles meticulously placed behind the bar but out the corner of my eye I could see Ethan’s eyes fell from me to the two tumblers now sitting in front of us. 

I reached out for my drink, letting the cold glass soothe my boiling blood. “At least someone wants to date me.” I muttered it mostly to myself, but secretly hoping the words would hit him where it hurts the most. 

Take the hint and leave, Ethan.  

His voice was even and the words melted off his tongue like butter, “It has nothing to do with want, you know that.” It was a truth he came to know. 

My eyes now fixated on the decorative mirror behind the bar as I took a drag of the scotch, hoping to take a peek at how my words affected him. With a thick roll of my eyes I shrugged, “Want, can’t, what’s the difference?” 

“The difference is your professional development and our jobs,” his voice was straight as he repeated his same rationale over and over again. “Once you’re an attending -” 

That’s a new additive. What -? 

The last words took me by surprise. He’d never added them into the mix of rejections before - he never added a glimmer of hope into the mix before… 

Don’t let him suck you back in, Bec. 

I shook my head dismissively to myself. “You’ll find other excuses to push me away.” I brought the liquid to my lips as I took a moment to let myself turn enough to see his full body language. He was at the edge of his seat, body angled towards me, one arm leaning on the bar and the other tightly gripping his thigh, his scotch untouched and forgotten. An onlooker would assume he was a casual man but to me he looked distraught; the careful ridges in his daily features had fallen.  

Good. 

My glass hovered just above my lips and I could feel the heat from Ethan’s gaze boring into my cheek. With a little bit of courage and a sly smirk I added, “Either way you’ve made your choice and I'm moving on, don’t worry.”  

I checked the time on my phone, downed the rest of the scotch in my glass and slipped off the stool gathering my things into my bag, preparing to head to the back where I agreed to meet Cameron at a reserved table.  

My feet fled all of two steps before there was pressure on my forearm grounding me back towards the bar. I whipped around to finally see him face to face, my heels bringing me to his level. 

We were close. Much too close. In the simplest of movements his body could be flush against mine. 

Stop, Rebecca, don't go there. Don’t think about it - don’t think about his lips or… 

I was acutely aware of his firm yet gentle hold. His shoulders once stiff and rigid fell with vulnerability. His soft and supple lips were parted and begging to be bitten.

Pull yourself together, woman! 

 “Rookie,” his grip on the back of my arm tightened, lighting every nerve in my body on fire. “Rebecca,” he breathed, “Please.” Ethan’s stormy blue eyes were pleading, conveying all he wished he had the strength to say.  

I tried to coax it out of him, “Say it.”

“I -”

Even now. Even with me visibly moving to put us in the past like he instructed and the shattered heart he must have had, he doesn’t have the balls to tell me. 

If he can’t say it he can’t have me.  

“Say it and I’ll stop,” I taunted. “I’ll squash this right now.”

Our eyes locked in showdown. Enraged brown overtaking conflicted icy blue. Standing my ground with a tightened jaw I internally gave him just three seconds before I pulled away once and for all. 

Three... 

His grip on my arm loosened. 

Two... 

His eyes squeezed closed and he shook his head.  

O- 

I was being pulled towards the exit by my hand. 

“Lets go,” Ethan said gruffly as he laced out fingers together in a tight hold.   

My heart fluttered, Good enough.

I wish I was stronger. God, do I wish I was strong enough to pull away from the black hole that is Ethan Ramsey but I couldn’t. His gravitational pull was too strong. I was and will forever be sucked in. I had a probably perfectly nice boy waiting for me in the other room with a promise of mutual affection. And what did I do? 

I got into Ethan’s car. 

On the drive we sat in silence, Ethan’s hand never freeing mine except to start the car. The purple and pink evening Boston sky passed by the window. I smiled at the people out the window who were still going about their day and, for the first time in months, I was content. Content with my feelings that never seemed to fade away no matter how hard I tried. Content that he feels the same way. Content that this is an actionable promise that we can be something. 

I noticed Edenbrook pass in the distance. My eyebrows furrowed as I realized we were getting further from his apartment complex. The other all-too-familiar street now coming into view.

“Ethan, what the fuck. You’re taking me home?” 

He said nothing.

“I thought…” I trailed off, mentally chastising myself for thinking he’d actually give in and let ourselves be happy. I huffed, “So I can’t have fun and I can’t have you. That seems fair…” I tried to free my hand but he held onto me tighter.  

A few moments of time passed in the dead silence of his car. Ethan was focused on the road ahead and I was trapped in limbo. Again.  

“Are you gonna say anything?” I bit, clearly needing an explanation for this round of betrayal.   

He opened his mouth slightly but nothing came out. My unencumbered rage started bubbling over like an active volcano. 

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

“Let me out, Ethan.” I said sternly and yanked my hand out of his. His hand now left palm up on the center console as he kept driving. 

And he wasn’t slowing down. 

I rose my voice through gritted teeth, “Let me out of the fucking car right now.” 

Still the side streets passed behind us at a steady pace. Surely he was ignoring me. 

My red hot anger reached my ears when I yelled, “Doctor! Ramsey!” 

Ethan jumped bringing both hands securely on the steering wheel. Within thirty seconds he pulled the car over. Panic set in and I needed to use all my strength to control my breathing. 

Not again. He’s not doing this to me again.  

As soon as the car stopped at the curb I unbuckled my seat-belt.

Still staring out the windshield and white knuckles gripping the wheel he begged, “Please let me get you home safely.” 

I scoffed, “I can take care of myself.” 

What the fuck does he want from me? 

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed, “I know.”

I looked over at him completely dumbfounded. If we weren’t going to be anything he should just let me move the hell on.  

“I’m not your responsibility,” I said honestly through my rage as I moved to get out of the car. “I know deep down you want to help but you’re not. You’re making things worse.” I looked over at him. His fingers left his nose and he started to sit up straighter at my words. “You - You…” 

I wanted to tell him he’s broken my heart over and over again. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him and that if he just promised me we’d give us a proper try I’d forgive him. But I didn’t, because saying those words out loud wouldn’t change a thing. Everything with Ethan was inevitably complicated. 

He looked over at me for the first time since the tavern. The whites of his eyes were starting to go red and my chest began to ache at the sight. He shakily asked, “I… what?” 

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? 

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” Furiously I pulled the door handle and jumped out of the car as best as my dress would allow. The air in the car was suffocating. 

Behind me I heard the car shut off and a loud slam of the door. There were two beeps alerting me that Ethan did indeed leave his car in the no parking zone. Heavy footfalls caught up to me on the sidewalk accompanied by the uneven huffs of breath from the brisk jog. 

“Let me walk with you. Please.” 

We were only a 10 minutes walk away from my place. As mad as I was at Ethan for the false pretenses, I was angrier at myself for falling for it. For letting him have me unconditionally. The thought of going through this same old cycle with him again and again made me nauseous.  

I can’t do this anymore. 

“Stop,” we both ceased our movements at my definitive tone. Turning to Ethan I saw the storm brewing within. Frankly, I didn’t give a damn. “You’re not listening to me.” 

His eyes widened like that of a scolded child. 

My next words were frank and to the point, “I cannot do this anymore. You cannot turn up and pretend you care when it’s convenient for you.”  

“I do -”  

“No.” I shook my head. “You’re self-serving,” the words fell quickly off my expert lips. “Choose me or lose me, Ramsey. You don’t get both.” 

I paused my rant for a brief second expecting the rebuttal that never came. 

“I’m confused enough as it is,” I continued. “Jus - Just get back in your car and find me when you figure your shit out.” I bit my lip before harshly saying, “I’ll be fine without you.”  

There on the narrow street on a Tuesday evening in Boston my chest tightened as I took one final look at the man I once trusted above all else. His hair windswept, cheeks flush, shoulders slumped in defeat and...

His hand twitched at his side beginning to reach out for mine. But I was quicker on my heels, turning around and storming off.

The last thing I heard as I sauntered off with a heavy heart was the unlocking of a car.  

“Hey, I thought you had a date tonight?” Sienna asked from the kitchen when she saw me cross the threshold of our apartment. 

“It didn’t happen,” I said flatly.   

“Oh no!” My dearest friend started moving around the kitchen, pulling out all the comfort food we had on tap - a pint of ice cream, cookies she had made earlier that evening, a bag of popcorn - all because she thought I was stood up. 

“I…” Fuck, how do I tell her? “didn’t make it.”  

Sienna stopped in her tracks and her light brown eyes looked up in confusion, “Huh?”  

I shouldn’t feel guilty but I do. Sienna’s the only person who would understand, she did catch him sneaking out of my room that last morning. She’s also the only person whose opinion matters most to me. My stomach tied in knots as I sighed, “Ethan…” 

“What!” she practically shouted. Luckily the others were in their rooms for the night otherwise it would have been a very awkward conversation between us. Having to tell Aurora about Ethan is another certain kind of hell I’d rather not deal with any time soon.   

“He was at the bar,” I began to explain in complete exasperation. “Of course he was at the bar, of all the bars in Boston he had to choose this one tonight.” I threw my hands in the air for dramatic effect. The irony isn’t lost on me; I agreed to The Happenstance because I knew I wouldn’t run into anyone I know and yet the one person I absolutely never would have wanted to see was already there. “He stopped me before I could meet the guy.”  

There was a hopeful gleam in Sienna’s eyes, “And?”  

“And he had the audacity to drive me home.” I made a ‘here I am’ motion with my arms. 

“That’s it?” she pouted, obviously wanting this story to have a happy ending.  

I leaned my arms on the counter and rested my head in my hands, trying to rub the evening out of my eyes and the weight of what I’d said finally sinking in. 

“I told him to leave me alone until he got his shit straight. I’m done with him,” my voice cracked at the end and I hoped Sienna didn’t hear it.  

If she did, she didn’t let on because her next question was, “Then… why don’t you call that guy and tell him something came up at the hospital?” 

Why wasn’t I going to call Cameron? Well for starters I was embarrassed for standing him up - no fake medical emergency could blow that over. I also never wanted to set foot in another bar again - Ethan can set claim to every bar in the state for all I care. I don’t want to see him outside of work ever again. 

If you don’t want anything to do with him why do you feel so guilty?  

With a weighted sigh I said, “I think I’m just gonna go to bed.” 

And that’s the story of how I pushed the man I loved away.

___________________

A/N: becca is literally the most unreliable narrator, she’s so problematic 😔 also sorry for this chapter, it’s not the best thing i’ve written :/ fun fact: this scene started out as a one shot called ‘good enough’ 

comment/reblog bc i need the validation

[peaches-of-1]

Day 6: Sweater Paws

Female!Reader x Jimin

Fluff and smut | Rating: Lemon

Warnings: Semi public, vibrator, female receiving oral, d/s dynamics, food mentions, thigh riding, teasing, cuteness, plot twist

Warm sweater paws cover two hands holding each other tightly in a city lit up in silver and amber lights. That of a kind girl who had no idea she’d be in this situation just three months ago when she offered her ears and emergency tissue pack to a lost and sobbing idol. She would’ve helped him no matter his level of fame since she believed him to be one of the many homeless young adults in Seoul’s fall covered streets.

Connections grew quickly in the form of secret meetings and even more secret hickeys. Though, that wasn’t the focus of now. Today was Christmas and one of the most lucrative Couples’ Holidays in South Korea as mostly those who were in pairs travelled the streets today. Sunlight sparkled on the frosted sidewalks and snow covered grassy areas.

“Jagiya, make sure to wear your scarf properly.” Park Jimin said with kind eyes and a soft grin, stopping your travels to pull up a soft mint colored fleece scarf that had been wrapped around cheeks to keep the cold out.

Nimble fingers shook free of the cotton knit sweater covering his hands to tug at the top of the winter fabric and made sure it rested on the top of your nose.

“I don’t want you getting sick, so you have to stay as warm as possible. I will do the same.” He said, pulling up his own pink fleece and then returning his hands to the oversized sleeve.

Hot and happy cheeks moved with a nodding head, “Ok, oppa. I will.” You loved him more than anything in the world even with knowing each other for such a short time.

Hands covered in matching mittens found each other once more as the Christmas outing continued. A café was first where hot cocoa and coffee were mixed in a delicious balance and swirled with a rather large peppermint stick. Glances were shared back and forth, giddy and excited to have this time together.

It was a very unpopular section of the big city, making masks easy to take off. People had speculated about the BTS fairy to be dating someone, but cold never pinpoint who it was with. Most were sure it was one of the hair stylists or an interviewer. Not some random chick who suddenly paused in the middle of the sidewalk, asking him to slow down as she clutched his arm.

He giggled at how cute you were and pulled you into the snow covered playground were the two made snow angels and threw snowballs at each other before the realization hit…warmth spread throughout your cheeks as she noticed people looking at them. Most likely in awe of how cute they were being in the snowy scene, but she couldn’t help worry that they knew.

“My fingers are getting cold, oppa.” You said to your loving boyfriend who was keeping a close eye on you since you dropped the snowball in your hand instead of pegging him with it.

So he sought out warmth for his love in the form of a street vendor’s cup of soup. Red soup held a variety of vegetables and squishy rice cakes to be sipped in order to heat the body from the inside out, hopefully not staining the pastel scarves that were in season this year. Your hands still shook out of shyness and glances felt like they lingered too long and were too desperate.

Jimin nuzzled up next to your cheek and smiled at how you jumped slightly, but he told you not to drop the cup. You wouldn’t want to make a mess for the vendor, would you ? A shake of the head, a few more sips, and the sunset came rather quickly.

Your legs were tired, but the couple rarely spent this much time together. Both of you were so very determined to make it last. As it got darker, every light came on. Red and green and white. Rainbows brightened up almost every store front as confident and curious feet walked towards a light show. At the location, there was still a half hour until it began, so Jimin pushed back his hair and suggested you two go through the lit up archways designated to have pictures taken in front of them, for lovers and friends to meander and look at the different Christmas light creations made for the season.

The couple walked slowly, taking your time to point and talk about what they liked the most, sometimes noticing if a light was out, breaking the dazzling display for just a moment.

As the show began, Park Jimin held you tightly in front, making sure his touches were not too mature in case there was a child about with their parents and yet still doing enough to make your legs weak. Your breath got heavy at his teasing caresses and you wanted to close your eyes in order to revel in the moment a bit more.

“Why are you closing your eyes, jagiya? The light show is there.” A falsely innocent chuckle came from his throat as hands stayed still around your waist, no longer moving.

Slightly teary eyes looked up at him with a needy gaze, only getting a smile in return that reached his eyes. The night wasn’t over, yet.

Jimin still wanted to build a snowman in the park, using found rocks for eyes and mouth. A set of discarded chopsticks turned into walrus like teeth, bringing a sense of humor to the piece. He noticed you had stopped moving again, simply clutching at the coat he had gotten you with vigor.

His hand grabbed your’s, “Is it too much?”

“N-no.” You panted out. “No, not at, not at all. I just think.” You shook your head and smiled, “I’m hungry again, oppa. Let’s go eat.”

Since it was already quite cold out, the couple decided to share a warm fish bun filled with white bean paste that had been dyed green for the season. The addition of half red beans completed the jolly insides. Selfies were taken of the most coupley poses. Smiles on both of your faces and in your hearts as you sat on a warmed bench.

Jimin then stood up to throw the packaging into the recycling bin before returning to you biting your lip and trying to focus, although it was hard to do. Instinctively, you put your legs tightly together and covered your mouth with your hand as lids bolted shut for the next 30 seconds.

Your darling boyfriend then whispered into your ear once you regained your senses, “That was way too cute. I think it’s time to go home, now.”

His hand reached out to yours as you nodded, holding it and standing on wobbly legs. There was no choice for you but to lean on him the whole time he drove you two back to your apartment.

The idol took off your jacket for you, followed by shoes, then socks. The sweater you were wearing was thrown on the back of the chair at the kitchen table.

“Show me.” Came the simple order once he was sat on the gray couch, still completely dressed while you were only in your bottoms and bra.

Taking off the bottoms, it was clear to see the glistening mess on your thighs that had been dripping the entire day. Jimin took out his phone and began to swipe his thumb upwards. Now inside, you could let out your moan as it ripped through you, no strength left in your body, you fell on your knees, legs spread with hands clawing at the carpet in front of you, knowing he’d deny you what you had been waiting for all day if you touched yourself.

“Come here.”

But you couldn’t. It was too hard and felt too good.

A serious head tilt, “Don’t make me repeat myself, jagi~”

Mustering every ounce of energy you had remaining, you pulled yourself up and walked towards him, spreading your legs the way he liked. His finger went into the neon pink hole and pulled out the thick bullet vibrator which had been going off inside you the entire time during your outing.

“Oppa, I’m gonna--!”

Small hands pulled your front to his mouth, allowing him to drink up your orgasm. You had cum several times today, not being able to walk or move an inch as it washed over your body. Most of you hoped that no one would see or notice that you were experiencing mind melting orgasms in public.

Just while you were shaping snowballs, he would turn the vibration on. In the middle of eating, he’d turn it higher and tell you not to drop the soup cup in your shock of sudden intense vibration. Even when he was just throwing away an empty container that formally held Christmas fish bread, he had put it up so high that you couldn’t help but climax on a park bench.

You knew you were being too loud, but you couldn’t help it, “O...oppa, oppa~~~!!!”

You felt your body get lower and your head rested on his shoulder while your legs straddled a thick thigh. The only thing you could see was your apartment through tears of pleasure and exhaustion.

Jimin rubbed your back while patiently crooning, “You did so well, Y/N. I’m so proud of you. Y/N made me so proud.”

You nuzzled your face into his sweater, “Did I really?”

“Of course you did, Y/N. Oppa’s very proud of you. This was the best Christmas ever.”

You giggled and then looked at his face, “What about part two?”

“What’s part two?” He asked, puzzled until you began to rub your still dripping pussy against his leg. “Are you sure you have enough energy for part two?”

“I have enough energy for whatever you want me to do, oppa.” You replied with glittering eyes before kissing him deeply, tasting every part of his mouth and your own liquid as well. “Merry Christmas, oppa.”

He flipped you onto the couch and thrust himself inside of you without hesitation, “Merry Christmas, jagi.” Jimin growled before riding you for the rest of the night.

You couldn’t wait to do this to him on New Year’s.

[lashtoncurls]

I love you, forever and always(CH)

Summary: Calum reading his vows

Words: 1.2K

Warnings: None, pure fluff

A/N: italics are flashbacks. This is for @astrosashton because she was an angel and helped me get my theme working last night. I love you Skyler!

Calum stood proud at the altar as the piano began to play, his three brothers and his dad standing by him. His eyes began to water as he caught sight of you in the ivory white dress that you wore. The smile never left his lips as you made it to him and he took your hands in his.

“You look beautiful, as always.”

“Not too bad yourself.” You laughed as he pecked your cheek and laughed too. The ceremony began as usual, but only different as you two had written vows for each other.

“Calum, go ahead.” He nodded and pulled out a crumpled note from his pocket.

“Y/N, from the day we met I knew that there was something about you. Even though you did tell me to fuck off, I knew that you would be my one person.” Everyone laughed as you recalled that day.

‘Y/N! The barista called out to you as he sat your coffee next to the others there, rushing back to get the other orders. After getting through the line of people in front you grabbed it and tried to run out the door. Ten minutes is all you had left to get to work. Ten minutes in an over crowded city with a faulty public transportation system.

“Oh fuck!” A voice called out as you felt the cold liquid on your shirt and saw the stain that had formed on your white shirt “Shit, I’m so sorry. Duke, come on!” You looked up at him as he picked his dog up from the ground, the cause of your trip. He held his hand out to you, but you ignored it. Ten minutes would now turn into an hour because you had to go back home and change.

“Has anyone told you that your dog needs to be on a leash?” There was no reason to be nice to him, that’s what your brain told you, but the frown on his face made you want to change your mind. His eyes were a deep brown and his brown hair in curls had you staring as he held his hand out again.

“Sorry my dog was in your way.” He helped you up as Duke wiggle in his arms from the position he was in. You nodded a brief thanks and walked away from him, trying your best to hide the big stain that made your black bra noticeable.’

“There was no way that I was going to see you again, but there was something about you. So I began to frequent the coffee shop some more, and making sure that duke was always on his leash. Days passed before I saw you again, this time you had a smile on your face and it made me want to talk to you. I didn’t think that you’d actually accept coffee from me, but you did. And I was so happy. After that it was easy with you, or so I thought. Our love was something that I’d never experienced with anyone else. Conversation was easy and we got along so well. My friends and family loved you you right away. We were happy, but even through the happiness there were rough times.”

“Calum, did you pick up food for Duke? Or the list of groceries I left?” You walked through the apartment as the pup barked and whined at your feet. Calum sat on the stool by the island, his bass in his hands as the headphones he wore were plugged into the laptop in front of him.

“Uh, no sorry babe. I have to get back to work soon.” You sighed and nodded as you grabbed your stuff and put your shoes on by the door.

“Can you at least help me get dinner started please? Boil the pasta. And take Duke for a walk.” You closed the door and made your way to the store. But the thought of how hard things were never left your mind. When Calum was on tour, it was really hard because you missed him a lot, and your job didn’t quite allow you to miss on extended periods of time to travel with him. The time he came home was sometimes short and others were spent with him at the studio or promo. Others were spent with friends, so things between you guys hadn’t been the same in months, the only thing being the love you both had for each other. Your trip to the store was quick, grabbing everything you needed and heading back home. It had been a long day already, and all you wanted was to be him and cuddled on the couch. But when you returned home and found Calum in the same spot, the anger boiled in you as you placed everything on the island, accidentally stepping on the puddle of pee that belonged to Duke.

“Fucking hell Calum.” You screamed and moved the headphones from his ears, his hands moving to geab his bass tighter before putting it on the island by his computer.

With a scoff, you grabbed the mop and cleaned the mess then went to the living room to open the back door. Duke ran out and you closed it, Calum standing in front of you.

“I asked you for a simple fucking favor, Calum. He’s your dog primarily. Not mine. And I get it, you have to go back to work. But you’ve been ignoring me for months Cal. Anytime I ask to spend time together you have to be at the studio, or you have plans made with anyone but me. I miss you enough when you’re on tour. Why are you making me miss you when I have you in the same house?” The tears threatened to spill from your eyes as he watched you, his eyes showing anger.

“Are you upset about my job?! I can’t just fucking be home and not do anything! This is my life, how I earn my money. That’s how we have this house and everything else I’ve given you!” His words stung, as you swore that you’d never let a man throw what he had given you in your face. When he noticed the sadness in your eyes, his features softened and he wrapped his arms around you.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been the easie st. But no one said love would be easy. Things aren’t the same anymore, but I do love you the same.”

“My anger gets the best of me sometimes, and I’m sorry. Sometimes I don’t know how to to tell you that I miss you. Sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of tour mode and to be here, to be present. But know that I will always love you with my whole heart. You have put up with me and for that I thank you. My heart belongs to you. It has from the first day that we met. From the time that I saw your eyes and how they shone bright. I love you, forever and always.” His vows ended with you hugging him tightly as everyone was tearing up. Never had you expected to fall in love with someone like this, let alone have the love you did.

Tags @slimthicccal @astrosashton @irwinkitten @lashtonchesthair @roselukes @angelbbycal @heaven-high-water @lukesflaredpants @boytoynamedcalum @norawashere @xxfuckmecalumxx @cosmocalum @neptunight @hoe4hemmo @calumhampton

[little-chimchim]

Our Little Secret (M)

Copy of ask: I read your hongseok smut, and I love it!! can I request maybe a yuto version of that? like the same party but with yuto?? thank you so much!

Rating: R

Word Count: 1851

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Yuto x Reader

A/N: Thank you for requesting this! For all of you that may not know, this is a spinoff of my previous Hongseok fic, Friday Night. It’s told from Yuto’s perspective. I hope you guys enjoy! Love you all - Kay

Yuto wasn't too pleased with how the party was turning out. He wasn't a fan of the music and there were far too many people, all mindlessly moving to the music. The night started out with three of them. Now there was only him and Shinwon left, standing at the back of the room in awkward silence.

“Do you think betting Hongseok was a very good idea?” Yuto asked his friend, leaning in close so Shinwon could hear. The taller man smiled slyly, taking a drink from his plastic cup. “Who knows? I know he’s been wanting to ask her out for a while. He wasn’t going to do anything about it unless I nudged him to do something.” Shinwon admitted.

Yuto sighed and bent his head. He still wasn’t happy with Shinwon for betting Hongseok to sleep with a girl, despite him having feelings or not.

Shinwon smirked and nudged Yuto lightly with his free arm. “It's been awhile since you've gotten any action, Yuto. Why don't you try to get some tonight?” Shinwon urged. Yuto shook his head and looked around the thunderous party. “I'd rather not,” He said quietly.

Shinwon laughed and pointed to a group of girls. “Why not? You know just as well as I do that girls flock around you just to get a look from you. It won't be that hard to find someone willing to fuck you.” Shinwon stated, still searching for a possible girl for his friend.

Yuto shook his head and turned to walk away, too annoyed with Shinwon’s antics to continue talking. In fact, he was too annoyed with the entire party to stay. He wanted to come with his friends to have a good time, not be pestered about his notably dry sex life. He also came to see you, even though he didn't see you once at the party.

It was his little secret. He never told a soul. Granted, he never told anyone small details about his life so this was somewhat normal. Though, you were his favorite secret. It had been a little over a year since the two of you had started dating, even though it felt like much shorter.

He loved you unconditionally, despite that numerous circumstances why he shouldn’t. You were Shinwon’s little sister, already a red flag in anyone’s eyes. You couldn’t date your best friend’s sister and expect it to blow over easy. Your parents were strict and rarely allowed you to leave the house, let alone let you have a boyfriend. It was hard at first, getting accustomed to the obstacles he had to conquer to be able to see you. Though, as time went on, he learned how to jump through the hoops with ease. If it meant being with you, he would gladly do it.

He walked outside for some fresh air. To his surprise, there was no one outside on the porch. Save for you, who was sitting on the railing, sipping a bottle of beer and looking up at the stars.

Yuto smiled and strode over to you, shoving his hands in his pockets and standing next to you to stare up at the stars. “Is this when I say that ‘She thought the stars were pretty but I found her prettier?’” Yuto whispered, carefully not to startle you.

You grinned and turned around to look at your boyfriend. You knew he had tried to be quiet and stealthy, but you could hear his steps the second he stood on the porch. “If you don’t mind.” You smirked, offering him a sip of your bottle.

He took it and leaned against the railing, carefully ghosting his fingers on the small of your back. “I’ve been looking for you.” He said, giving you back your bottle after he took a swig of the amber liquid.

You chuckled under your breath and sighed. “I don’t know why I spent days trying to convince my parents to come if I’ve been out here the entire time.” You grumbled, scrunching up your nose and finishing up your beer.

Yuto laughed and slowly wrapped his arms around your waist. “I suppose we have the entire night to kill now.” He whispered in your ear, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You smiled and leaned into his head, bringing your hand up and running it through his short hair. “I suppose we do. What are you implying, Mr. Adachi?” You teased, knowing how much he hated being called that.

Yuto nudged his head towards to driveway, a soft smile forming on his lips. “I have a car with a pretty wide back seat.” He implied, already letting go of you and taking steps towards his car. You grinned and jumped off of the railing, excitedly following your boyfriend.

The car’s windows were fogged up from the two of you. Your heated breaths had clouded his car windows in just a matter of minutes, proving to anyone how pent of both of yours sex levels were.

It had been months since you had been able to be intimate with Yuto. You remembered the last time so vividly, like it had been yesterday. Your parents were away for the weekend and Shinwon had staying over with a friend, leaving you at home alone for the entire night.

It was the perfect opportunity to have Yuto over, something you had never been able to do unless Shinwon had invited him. It was you and Yuto, alone, for hours. Of course you had sex.What teenager wouldn’t if they had this kind of opportunity? Though, it had been your first time, making it one of the most memorable moments of your life.

What you were experiencing currently was everything compared to the first time. His lips trailed along your breasts, hastily sucking against your nipples, making you groan out in anticipation. While his mouth was moving against one breast, his fingers were playing with the opposite one, pinching the growing bud in his fingers.

With his other hand, he pressed his thumb against your clothed heat, rubbing a few small circles into it. He desperately wanted to hear your reaction. You sucked in a quick breath, not having expected the sudden ministrations.

You raked your fingers through his hair, slowly pushing his head down closer to your heat. Yuto looked up at your innocently, playing with the band of your pants. “Eager much?” He teased, slowly pulling your pants down, your underwear coming with them.

“It’s been months, Yuto. Of course I’m eager.” You muttered, pushing the rest of your pants off and throwing them into the front seat of the car. Yuto laughed and leveled himself with your core, admiring it fondly. “You’re beautiful,” He whispered, lowering himself down on you.

He toyed with your clit agonizingly with his tongue, flicking it just enough that it would cause you to jolt, but not enough to give you release. You leaned your head against the window, closing your eyes shut and spreading your legs a little farther.

He licked a long strip up your folds. He moved his hands to hold on to your hips tightly, making sure he had more of a hold on your body. He stopped moving his tongue and brought himself to suck on your swollen clit. You moaned out, clenching your legs around him.

He continued like this until you were shuttering with pleasure. He pulled away before you were able to orgasm. You whined as he moved away from you, your core throbbing painfully. He wiped his mouth on his thumb, grinning widely. “I missed this,” He groaned. He brought his hands down and fumbled with the buttons on his tight jeans. He tugged them down his legs, struggling to get them off from the lack of room in his car.

You laughed and helped him out, leaning forward and pulling down to the bottom of his thighs. You eyed the tent that had formed in his boxers, grinning widely as you reached over to grab him.

He let out a soft sigh as you palmed him through his boxers. You yanked his boxers down, allowing him to spring free from them. You laid back, spreading your legs further apart so he would have room.

“Anxious?” He whispered. Yuto held his length, pumping himself a few times to become fully erect. His cock was ruby red, precum already spilling from it. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hungry kiss.

“You have no idea,” you said against the kiss. Yuto position himself at your entrance, running his erection up and down your folds tantalizingly. “Yuto, please,” You whined, the uncomfortable heat between your legs was becoming too much to bare.

Yuto laughed under his breath and bent down to grab your hips. He held them tightly and finally pushed himself into you. You groaned out, the pressure finally being relieved from between your legs. You leaned back against the window again, clamping yours eyes shut while you waited for Yuto to start moving.

“Are you ready, Babe?” He asked breathily.

You nodded your head and grabbed his shoulders, bracing yourself for it. Yuto smiled and started to move his hips, starting slowly at first. As he got the hang of it, the faster he went. You both were getting into it, starting to pant and fog up the windows even more than they already were.

He started snapping his hips into yours, not going as deep as he possibly could. You dug your fingers into the skin of his shoulders, muttering his name over and over again as he fucked you in the backseat of his car.

He leaned down and pressed a messy kiss on your lips. He gripped your hips tighter, continuing to move them into you. You started to roll your hips in time with his, trying to get as much pleasure as possible.

It definitely worked.

Soon, between labored breaths and heavy pants, the two of you were reaching your climaxes. It only took a few more thrusts before you were putty in his arms. You screamed out his name, throwing your head back and tightening your hold on him.

Seconds later, he reached his. He bucked his hips until the overstimulation was to much to handle for the both of you. He was breathing slowly, his body shuttering while he rode out his high.

Once the two of you were both finished, he looked up to you and smiled. “I love you,” He whispered sweetly. You ran your fingers through his hair and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. “And I love you,” You whispered back.

You hated having to keep the secret of dating Yuto, and for once, you wanted to tell the entire world about your relationship, despite what would possibly come of it. For once, it was a risk that you were more than willing to take.

[mrlongkgraves]

Stories from the transplant journey

PHOTO COURTESY OF ERIN

On April 11, transplant recipients and their families gathered at Boston Children’s Hospital to speak about their transplant journeys during a special nursing grand rounds. As Donate Life Month draws to a close, we share excerpts from their stories, made possible #becauseofadonor.

Erin – heart recipient

When Erin was just 6 months old, she was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, which severely weakened her heart. At age 1, she was listed for a transplant — and received her new heart just nine days later.

“My heart was only expected to last about eight years. I am beyond thrilled to say that I am 22.5 years post-transplant. I have been able to keep up with all of my siblings, classmates and friends and live a completely full life. I played sports all through school, stood next to both of my sisters on their wedding days, helped my brother move into his first house, graduated from UNH with my bachelor’s degree (after taking a semester off to go through chemotherapy for cancer), accepted a full-time job doing early intervention, became a godmother to the best little boy, welcomed two nephews into the world, and met an amazing guy that I’m getting married to this summer! We love to camp, hike, kayak and go on adventures together. No words will ever begin to express how fortunate I am to be the recipient of this wonderful heart.”

PHOTO COURTESY OF MAE’S FAMILY

Mae – lung recipient

Mae was born with a rare genetic form of childhood interstitial lung disease. Although she was listed for a double-lung transplant shortly after her birth, her mothers, Courtney and Maura, hoped that she, like some children with this disease, would outgrow her symptoms. But after nearly a year without improvement, they decided to relist her. Just 30 days later, she received her new lungs.

“As we were anticipating the one-year “lungaversary” of Mae’s transplant, we were very aware of the pending milestone. To our surprise, our emotional energy that day was focused less on Mae’s miracle, and more on the donor family — what it must have been like for them in that moment, on the anniversary for them of what we assume was a tragic loss of their little miracle.

It is hard to comprehend that someone else’s loss and pain led to our freedom and joy. We remind ourselves that the donor did not die because of Mae, but since the donor’s life had come to an end, our gratitude is immense that the child’s legacy could live on in every breath Mae takes, and every heartbeat of another child somewhere out there and of the other organ recipient to whom this donor gave a new lease on life. Maura has said she always thought she would have three kids, and now she says she kind of feels like she does in our older daughter, Rosie, Mae and Mae’s donor.”

PHOTO COURTESY OF BOALVI

Boalvi – kidney recipient

When Boalvi was a sophomore in high school, he began feeling sick and weak. He was eventually diagnosed with nephotic syndrome caused by focal segmental glomerulosclerosis (FSGS), a pattern of kidney damage that occurs over time. In October 2016, he began dialysis three days a week while he waited for a transplant.

“The treatments were long and painful and I never adhered to the necessary liquid restriction. That’s when Dr. Nancy Rodig gave me a wakeup call and temporarily took me off the transplant waiting list. Months before, they had called me in for a transplant; however, there were complications and I wasn’t able to get the organ. I had been at the top of the transplant list and now I was taken off because of my lack of responsibility. The team suggested I entered a program called Med Coping. Dr. Shannon Hourigan was my therapist and she guided me throughout the rest of my dialysis and transplant. She made it much easier to understand why I was doing the things I was doing and what I could do to solve those problems. My outlook changed and I began to do right. They took me off of the waiting list in March and by late June, I was back on. On August 17, 2017, I received my new kidney. I’m grateful for everyone who made this possible for me, including the family of the donor.

Life after transplant has been amazing, I’m healthy, working and looking forward to going back to school in the near future. I learned to cherish my worst moments because they only make me stronger. As long as I’m breathing and living, I’m good.”

PHOTO COURTESY OF RILEY’S FAMILY

Riley – liver recipient

Riley was diagnosed with hepatoblastoma when she had just turned 7 months old, says her mother, Jill. Soon, her parents learned that she would need a new liver and she was listed for a transplant.

“Doctors determined that Riley’s father, Keith, was a match for living donor. This was such a relief, but I was also extremely scared to have both Keith and Riley go through this major surgery. We got the date of surgery and started to prepare. 

But surgery came sooner than we expected. We received news from Boston Children’s that there might be a potential deceased donor match for Riley. That was a long afternoon, thinking of the possibility of Keith not having surgery and Riley getting the transplant and feeling sad for the donor family. But on May 24, 2018, Riley received her new liver, when she was just 10 months old. It was still a few months until we knew what life would be like after transplant because Riley had to finish two more rounds of chemotherapy to be sure all the cancer was removed. It was a long year for our family, but we all made it through and are very grateful for that. Riley is now a very curious, wild toddler who loves her big sister, her bubbas (bottles) and stealing cookies from the cabinet!”

PHOTO COURTESY OF JORDI

Jordi – multivisceral recipient

When Jordi was about 13, he experienced pain that was ultimately diagnosed as liver cancer. After undergoing chemotherapy, he was listed for a multivisceral transplant, which he received relatively quickly.

“If it wasn’t for my donor, I wouldn’t have been able to graduate from middle school and high school, or to attend UMass-Lowell, pursuing a career as a doctor. I want to help other children out by becoming a pediatric oncologist. I know it’s a lot of work, but I’m determined. As a cancer survivor, I think I will be able to relate to these kids and inspire them.

I’m very grateful to be alive and to be 20 years old. I will keep pushing to live my life as much as possible — for me, and for the donor who is no longer here. Ever since this happened, I know I want to help out other kids, and I’m going to do that.”

PHOTO COURTESY OF KYMANI’S MOTHER

Kymani – lung recipient and organ donor

At age 10, Kymani received a double-lung transplant after being diagnosed with primary pulmonary hypertension three years earlier. He enjoyed nearly a decade with his new lungs, says his mother, Carolyn.

“Prior to transplant, Kymani’s life was very limited. He was not able to attend school due to being on oxygen 24 hours a day, and spent all or most of his time at home. After receiving his donated lungs in 2010, he returned to school. He was so happy to be able to do all the things kids his age were able to do. The nine years post-transplant were his best years, and he lived each and every day to the fullest.

Life took on a whole new meaning for him as he was able to try different activities. In high school, Kymani went from being somewhat of an introvert to becoming a gregarious person, whose presence was felt the minute he entered a room. He loved to dance and spend time with friends. He got involved in chorus, he ran track and even trained me to run around the track. He attended his prom accompanied by all his friends and graduated with them. He was forever grateful to the nurses who cared for him during many of his hospital stays. He decided that he wanted to be a nurse so he could give back what he had so graciously received. Kymani was a full-time student at Quincy College, where he was pursuing a nursing degree.

Unfortunately, Kymani gained his angel wings in October 2018 prior to seeing that goal come to fruition. However, in his dying he continued to make me proud. He had become an organ donor himself. Kymani’s story is truly rare, as he was able to play both roles in his short life. Without organ donation, Kymani would not have lived nine additional years. Although Kymani never met his donor family, he was forever grateful — and I am sure that it’s from that place of gratitude he chose to become a donor himself.”

Learn more about our Pediatric Transplant Program or share your story made possible #becauseofadonor.

The post Stories from the transplant journey appeared first on Thriving Blog.

from Thriving Blog https://on.bchil.org/2WcpNa1

[nickygrows]

My Journey

By Nicky Jones

We have arrived once again at 4/20. Today we celebrate all things Cannabis. As we contemplate a more laid back manner of doing things, allow me to tell you my story of how Cannabis saved my life. It gets a bit heavy, but sometimes that's just the way it is. Here goes...

Six years ago, at the age of 34, a nuclear warhead was detonated in my life. After a lifetime of wondering if I had back problems, an acute disc herniation at L4-L5 painfully confirmed this suspicion. Prior to this incident I was an active father who enjoyed running quite a bit and had a decent job working in a mill. After the incident, I quickly lost touch with who I was completely.

When I first met the neurosurgeon that went on to operate on my spine, he thought he was in the wrong room. He stared down at the chart in his hands and then back up at me with a puzzled look on his face. The MRI looked bad. At the time, I didn't so much. Just before my injury, I was in good shape clocking in at a fairly lean 180 pounds. He explained that my spine looked like the spine of a much older, much heavier man. He didn't expect to see this young, fit guy on his examining table when he walked into that room, but there I was. Pain and fear had crashed into my life like an 80 mile per hour head on collision. I rushed to the operating table.

My postoperative recovery went pretty much as bad as it could go. The company I worked for decided I needed to hurry back to work to keep my job. So I skipped much of the healing process and went chasing a little bit of money. My employer soon realized I was no longer the strong and capable worker that they had hired. It didn't take long at all for them to find a reason to push me out the door after nearly five years with the company. I had surgery in January and was jobless by April. I quickly found another job working for the city. I worked 3 days and they also fired me when they got the results of my pre-employment health screening. They said I was too high risk and therefore unemployable. I didn't know it yet, but I was down for the count. I gained 100 pounds the first year after surgery putting me around 280 pounds. I was in constant, immobilizing pain which was compounded by the added weight. The weight kept me from being active and being inactive caused more weight gain. To make matters much worse, my pain was horribly managed with a myriad of drugs including dangerous opioids, which would be given and taken away seemingly at random. I felt like I was being tormented by a mean bully. I now know this bully’s name is pain management. Round and round you go, where do you stop? Look at the statistics and you will see. Years of destructive drug addiction and pain ensued. All the while I gained weight.

Three hard years had passed since my spinal surgery and I was almost at rock bottom. Not far to go now. I was around 320 pounds. I had gained approximately 140 pounds since my injury. To mask the pain, I was on a fentanyl patch that would kill me if I were to put it on right now. I had to lose weight. I joined a weight loss program that offered a pathway to gastric sleeve surgery. This was a last ditch effort to be rid of the extra person I was carrying around. I am honestly not sure how I made it to surgery in the weight loss program. The program was great, but by this time I was in a very bad place. The psychologist that evaluated my emotional ability to have the surgery and move forward postoperatively did not want to clear me. I was a mess. With tears running down my face, I explained to the doctor that this was my last hope to get any semblance of my life back. Although I really didn’t believe it would work, I somehow convinced them that I did. I was cleared. I had to give it a shot. I was literally dying.

In preparation for my surgery, the pain management doctor decided to cut my pain meds in half. They explained that if they didn’t decrease my tolerance, then there would be no option to treat my postsurgical pain. This sent me into a tailspin of opioid withdrawals much akin to coming off of Heroin. I felt like I had some nightmarish version of the flu. In addition to all of the typical flu symptoms, I was also experiencing mind-melting depression and anxiety among other things and was having to change clothes and sheets several times a night due to the fact that I literally sweating it out. After a few days of this I made a monumental, life-altering decision. I decided that if it was gonna be this bad to reduce this poison coursing through my veins by half, then how much worse could it get to just do the whole enchilada. The answer was: much worse, It could get much worse. I had my wife hide my firearms. I had to phone friends and family I hadn't reached out to in years in the middle of the night just to avoid losing my grip on my sanity. It felt like I was sick right down to the center of my soul. This went on for weeks that seemed more like years. I decided to try medical cannabis to help with the withdrawals and the pain. I came out on the other side completely done with opioids and ready to move forward with the surgery and the next chapter of my life.

I had gastric sleeve surgery on April 10, 2017. There was nothing easy about this process. However, once I made the decision that I wanted to live my life rather that allow it to continue to be stolen from me by circumstances, I took the surgery and everything that it involved very seriously. I stuck to the program’s month long liquid diet to the letter before the surgery and left the rest in the capable hands of my surgeon. Everything went well with my operation and recovery. I continued to follow the program instructions which set me on a path which led me out of darkness and into the light.

Since my surgery I have continued to educate myself on how to live healthier. I am now very careful about not only the quantity, but the quality of the things i put into my body. I was able to go back to work, but I gave up the mill life. I now earn my living as a gardener, which is a passion I have had most of my life. I have developed a yoga practice that helps me deal not only with my pain, but allows me to condition my mind, body, and soul to remain focused on a positive, healthy lifestyle. I continue to use cannabis as an alternative to opioids and it handles my pain and occasional anxiety much more effectively than anything I have previously been prescribed. And all without the horrible life-ending side effects that come with opioid pain medications. It didn’t happen overnight, but I made it back down to 180 pounds which is where I was before my life-altering spinal injury six years ago.

I am very specific with which Cannabis strains that I use. I stick with Sativas during the day to stay focused, creative, and energetic. They help tremendously with inflammation and take the edge off my pain. Some of my favorite Sativas are Jack Herer and Green Crack. In the evening I switch over to a heavy hitting Indica such as Yoda OG or 9 Pound Hammer . These make the pain drift away and my sleep quality is top notch.

In January of this year, I experienced another acute disc herniation. This time at L5-S1. I was taken to the ER by ambulance and spent nearly a week in the hospital learning to walk again with the new level of pain. This was nearly the same injury with nearly identical symptoms and pain as my original spinal injury. But this time it went much differently. In the hospital, the entire staff were very interested in what was different about me. It really caught their attention when instead of asking for more IV pain medication, I said “No thanks, I am weaning myself off of that, so I won’t need my dose for another 6 hours”. Before I left the hospital, I was completely off the IV pain meds and up walking the halls. According to my nurses, I was a continued hot topic during daily staff meetings. The thing is, I wasn’t seeking any attention or special treatment. I used the spotlight to show anyone who was willing to look that there was a better way to swing when life throws curves. They sent me home with a few pain pills which I was done with 3 days later, about the same time that I ditched the walker I came home with. I now have the most heartwarming support system in the form of family, friends, and healthcare providers. With the help of my beautiful RN wife, amazing physical therapist, and a brand new perspective on life I am healing my current injury without surgery or opioid pain medications. Therapy and Cannabis. Although my right heel remains completely numb as a reminder that I did in fact experience some serious nerve agitation due to the herniation, the rest of me is wide awake and present for every moment of my life.

Happy 4/20 💚

[memayungkisah]

Something I Never Forget

Hi there! so sorry I failed to fulfill my last commitment for 30 days writing challenge. It’s super challenging especially when something urgent messed up your schedule. I know I’m not supposed to have any reason for this but yeah it happened. Before speaking about the title, I want to share a story about my experiment having a minor surgery two days ago. This is one of the reasons why I decided not to do anything including writing. 

I’d been suffering from toothache for several months. It began after I enjoyed two or three days tasty beef meal. I made steak and gyoza and my mother made some beef stews. Unfortunately the beef was so thick, couldn’t be chewed, and hard to swallow. I think it left a significant injury inside my wisdom tooth so I had to feel the pain for months. I gave up last week. I started to feel worry if I had to consume antibiotic and painkiller everyday and in the end my father advised me to go to the dentist.

There I was at the dentist, the dentist suggested me to have a panoramic x-ray for the whole teeth and bring it to the oral surgeon to make a consultation. She also gave me prescription to kill the pain for temporary. Day after, I went to Pramita to have an x-ray. It took only 30 minutes from registration until getting the photo (FYI, I spent Rp 245.000,- for this photo (in case you need this information)) then I brought it to RSKGM Unpad. But unfortunately, the specialist was only available until 12 pm and I got there around 11 pm so I had to fill the appointment form for the day after. On Tuesday, I met the oral surgeon. He showed me that both of my bottom wisdom teeth have an abnormal position. They grow horizontally and push the other teeth forward. It affects the nerves so that’s why It hurts. He suggested me to pull out these horizontal teeth. 

Here I show you the position of my wisdom teeth from x-ray photo:

We made an evening appointment then at that day for this minor surgery. It was held in his clinic which is near my home so I didn’t have to drive that far while experiencing an aftereffect pain. And guess what ?

My bottom left wisdom tooth was hard to take because it contains a very high calcium. I spent around two full anesthesia injections and I still felt the pain. Whatever it was, it had to be pulled out because it was already broken down to pieces so i had to bear the pain while the surgeon was trying to forcibly remove it. Trust me when you have good teeth, you’ll feel the pain when it has to be pulled out. Seriously I almost gave up but in the end I made it. 

That day I decided to take two teeth (upper left and bottom left) at the same time. Luckily for the upper left wisdom teeth, it wasn’t that hard because the position makes it easier to be removed. Why do I have to remove it then ? Because there’s a hole in the tooth and it turns out making a headache. And after two hours of struggle, finally it finished. For the bottom left wisdom tooth with this position I supposed to spend about Rp 1.350.000,- but because I spent so much anesthesia liquid and chose threads that don’t need to be unplugged, then I had to pay about Rp 2.000.000,- (for 1 tooth). For the upper left wisdom tooth, I spent only Rp 1.350.000,-. So you can sum it up by yourself for the total fee of this surgery. The surgeon then gave me antibiotic, anti inflammation, and painkiller prescription to recover from this brutal surgery and I spent Rp 90.000,- for it. 

Today is my second day after surgery and I’m still feeling an inflammation around my mouth. I feel my inside cheek is swollen and i still couldn’t eat properly. Still consume porridge and still afraid to bite a hard food like fried chicken which is my favorite. Soon I recover I promise I will treat you with KFC hey my lovely teeth. 

Sigh. Finally it’s over. Still one tooth left to remove but It can wait I guess :)

So speaking about something someone told me about myself but I never forget, it must be something that stays inside my consciousness. Whether it’s amazing or terrible. I bet only these two conditions which can make one thing inherent in our subconscious. Right ?

Tidak bisa dipungkiri bahwa banyak banget memori yang pastinya nggak bisa dilupakan. Tapi ada beberapa dari memori tersebut yang sudah tidak lagi menyimpan rasa. Maksudnya kita melihat memori tersebut sebagai perjalanan hidup, bukan lagi sesuatu yang membuat kita experiencing emotional state. Di lain hal ada juga memori masa kecil yang nggak pernah bisa dilupakan namun masih menyimpan emosi di dalamnya. Mungkin related sama film nya Inside out kalau udah pernah nonton. 

Tapi kalau diingat-ingat amazing sih karena satu kata yang keluar dari ucapan seseorang mengenai kita, terkadang bisa membuat kita memproses informasi tersebut keluar dari jalurnya (overthink mungkin istilahnya).

Aku inget banget waktu itu, teman SMA yang ketemu lagi di tempat kuliah pernah membicarakan mengenai aku ke yang lainnya dan bilang kalau aku itu minoritas waktu SMA sedangkan dia super exist. Ya nggak bisa dipungkiri sih aku memang lebih suka melakukan banyak hal sama circle aku dan aku waktu SMA memang minder. Tapi yang aku nggak suka di sini adalah diferensiasi kasta sosial. Awalnya aku cukup kagum sama sekolah ini. Swasta, isinya high class students, orang-orangnya ramah, dan siapapun itu pasti diajak kenalan dan diajak ngobrol. Paham sih memang nggak semua orang akan punya karakter yang seragam tapi ternyata panggilan ini sangat membekas while yang aku pahami bahwa siapapun kita, kita sama-sama satu spesies. Mungkin karena adanya perbedaan prinsip sosial di sini. Tapi nggak papa ini jadi bumbu kehidupan yang menarik.

Ada lagi waktu akan naik ke tingkat dua. Waktu itu lagi jamanya Ospek Jurusan. Aku nggak bawa peralatan ibadah waktu itu dan diminta untuk berdiri di depan teman-teman dan minta maaf. Bukan aku nggak mau minta maaf, tapi waktu itu aku punya kesulitan untuk public speaking. Aku merasa sangat anxiety karena semua mata orang-orang tertuju ke aku dan menunggu aku untuk mengucapkan kata-kata. Rasanya kayak lagi di dalam tekanan. Saking takutnya untuk bicara di depan umum, tiba-tiba detak jantung aku nggak teratur, nggak bisa menyuplai oksigen ke otak, sehingga membuat tangan dan kaki lemas dan kesemutan. Waktu itu aku jatuh sebelum mengucapkan satu kata pun. Aku akhirnya diantar ke rumah. Sebelumnya juga pernah sih waktu kemitraan. Waktu itu aku flu berat dan nggak mampu ngikuti pelajaran. Aku izin sama dosen fisika karena nggak enak badan. Aku pulang dan mencoba untuk istirahat. Besoknya aku kembali ke kampus dan dipanggil rektorat. Diancam di DO karena nggak izin sama mereka. Setelah itu mulailah tragedi yang sama terjadi. Berakhir di rumah sakit dan dokter bilang aku kena panic attack. Kembali ke Osjur, setelah kejadian itu hampir semua senior melabeli aku dengan nama ”Drama Queen”. Dikata-katain di plurk dan aku bisa baca. Nggak hanya senior, tapi semua angkatan 07 satu kampus tau kejadian ini. Sampai-sampai ada temennya pacar aku waktu itu sms dia dan bilang “Serius lu nyu jadian sama dia ? Dia kan Drama Queen”. Ini sih memorable. Tapi label ini hilang dengan sendirinya ternyata as time goes by. 

Pernah juga dikatain sesat. Sebenernya ini karena aku punya pemikiran yang nggak sejalan dengan yang lain mengenai suatu hal. Aku merasakan suatu pemahaman yang berbeda setelah aku memberanikan diri untuk keluar dari kotak identitas bawaan lahir ini. Awalnya aku merasa tersingkirkan, tapi karena aku percaya dengan apa yang aku alami jadi it’s not a big deal. Aku juga pernah di sana, berdiri di atas pijakan mereka jadi sangat mengerti apa yang mereka pikirkan. 

Ini sih yang bikin aku nangis, ketika orang terdekat berkata “Gimana kamu mau jadi designer kalau penampilan kamu aja kayak gini”. Kata-kata ini luar biasa sih. Breaking my heart to pieces. Bukan my heart aja tapi my dream juga. Dan untungnya ada orang terdekat lainnya yang bilang “Sebenernya dia mencoba meng-encourage kamu by discouraging”. Dan akhirnya aku mencoba untuk membalikan persepsi membuat kritik ini menjadi suatu hal positif yang membangun. 

Nggak cuma kata-kata yang nyelekit ada juga kata-kata yang membahagiakan yang nggak bisa dilupakan. Yaitu ketika my significant other bilang bahwa aku punya kebaikan hati, selalu pengen menolong orang lain, lebih memikirkan orang lain ketimbang diri sendiri (nggak papa aku yang rugi asal orang lain nggak). Dan kata-kata kaya gini yang sejatinya bisa meningkatkan self-esteem (rasa percaya diri). Awalnya aku sangat nggak percaya sama diri sendiri, sejauh mana kemampuanku, seperti apa karakterku. Selalu aku melihat keburukan di atas kebaikan yang terus mentrigger untuk bilang “I’m not good enough” “I can’t do it because I’m stupid”. Namun ternyata ada yang melihat di sisi lainnya dan ini sangat membantu aku untuk berkembang. Banyak banget nasehat positif yang aku selalu dapat dari dia dan aku merasa bersyukur. Di samping itu diri inipun juga harus terima bahwa kelebihan ataupun kekurangan pasti akan dimiliki oleh setiap individu, yang terpenting bagaimana kita memprosesnya menjadi sesuatu yang bisa mengembangkan diri kita ke arah yang lebih positif. 

Sebenernya banyak sih yang masih membekas tapi kalau diceritakan mungkin terlalu panjang jadi mungkin cukup segini. Pada intinya, apapun yang orang lain bilang tentang diri kita, jadikan itu masukan untuk melangkahkan kaki ke arah yang lebih baik. Tetap menjadi manfaat bagi banyak orang dan ketika kita melihat ke belakang, bersyukurlah karena mereka telah membantu kita berkembang melalui opini mereka. 

Thursday, January 11th 2018 30 days of writing challenge - day 2

[enzaime-blog]

Hear from Our Child & Teen Patients

New Story has been published on https://enzaime.com/hear-child-teen-patients/

Hear from Our Child & Teen Patients

Emily’s Story

Around Emily’s second birthday, she began experiencing abdominal swelling, leg pain, and low-grade fevers. Less than a month later, she was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a rare cancer of the sympathetic nervous system. At Memorial Sloan Kettering, Emily’s neuroblastoma team provided the latest treatment options, including a new experimental therapy.

In late June 2003, shortly before her second birthday, Emily Wang came down with a low-grade fever that lasted for two straight weeks. It was during this time that Emily’s grandmother first noticed that her belly was distended and hard to the touch. Emily also often complained of leg pains. “She was very needy and constantly wanted Mommy to carry her,” Emily’s mother, Tina, explains. “It was so unlike her because she was usually an outgoing and independent little girl.”

Emily loved playing in the water, so when the Wangs visited Tina’s sister’s house over the July Fourth weekend they set up a small pool for Emily. But when they attempted to put her into the water, Emily cried and refused to play in the pool. “We all thought that it was very strange of her to react in such a way,” Tina remembers. “When we watch the video we took that day, we wonder why we didn’t see the obvious signs that she was unwell.”

Worse Than Expected

Suspecting that there might be something seriously wrong with Emily, the Wangs made an appointment with her pediatrician on July 7. At the appointment, they described the symptoms, and after examining Emily’s distended abdomen the doctor said that it was probably only constipation. When the family persisted, the doctor ordered blood tests, which revealed that Emily was anemic. The pediatrician then called in his colleague to perform a second examination, at which point both doctors recommended that the Wangs take Emily to the local emergency room at Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn for an ultrasound.

Emily was rushed to the ER for the ultrasound, which revealed that she had a large mass around her kidney. The ER doctor told the Wangs that the tumor was most likely Wilms’ tumor, the most common cancer of the kidneys found in children. Emily was admitted to Maimonides that same day. “It was the most devastating day of our lives,” Tina says. “From the outset, Emily knew something was wrong. She just didn’t know how to tell us.”

Two days later, deciding they wanted to send Emily to the best children’s hospital in New York City, the Wangs transferred Emily to Children’s Hospital of NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center. A week later, Emily received a biopsy to determine if she did have Wilms’ tumor. Two days after the procedure was performed, the doctors informed the Wangs that the mass was not Wilms’ tumor but a rare cancer of the sympathetic nervous system known as neuroblastoma.

Afflicting only about 700 children in the US each year, neuroblastoma affects the nerve network that carries messages from the brain throughout the body. Some neuroblastomas will go away without any treatment, and others can be cured by surgery alone. But approximately half of all neuroblastomas have already spread to the bone and bone marrow by the time they are found and require more complex treatment.

“We were very disappointed and saddened because we were hoping the tumor was, in fact, a Wilms’ tumor,” Tina offers. The overall five-year survival rate for children with Wilms’ tumor is more than 90 percent. “We knew,” she continues, “that the outcome with neuroblastoma is not as positive.”

It was obvious to Emily that she was sick, Tina explains, but she also appeared to understand that the doctors would help her to get better.

Move to Memorial Sloan Kettering

After doing some research, the Wangs scheduled an appointment at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. After meeting with the neuroblastoma team, led by Nai-Kong Cheung, the Wangs concluded that Memorial Sloan Kettering had the most promising neuroblastoma treatment options, and they decided to transfer Emily from Children’s Hospital.

Because Emily’s tumor was considered high risk, she was placed on what is called the N8 treatment protocol, which entails a combination of therapies: induction, surgery, radiation therapy, stem cell transplant, immunotherapy, and differentiation therapy. The initial phase of treatment, induction, consists of five rounds of chemotherapy. After the third round of induction chemotherapy, when the maximal reduction in tumor size had been achieved, pediatric surgeon Michael La Quaglia operated to remove the primary tumor.

Emily then received a stem cell transplant, a procedure in which the patient’s neuroblastoma-infected bone marrow is destroyed and then replaced with stem cells that are free of neuroblastoma. “Having Emily locked in a clean room for the monthlong period was difficult for all of us,” Tina says with understatement. “But she was a real trooper. Amazingly, she was able to entertain herself by having tea parties with her stuffed animals and watching her favorite videos. No matter how painful or hard it was for her, she would get herself out of bed every morning and enjoy her day as if she were a typical three-year-old.”

After that, in conjunction with radiation therapy and differentiation therapy using the drug Accutane® (generic name isotretinoin), Emily underwent numerous cycles of an immunotherapy that uses the monoclonal antibody known as 3F8. This treatment is designed to train the body’s own immune system to detect and destroy neuroblastoma cells that have survived chemotherapy or radiation therapy.

 I remember a doctor here at Memorial telling me, ‘You’ll see her getting very sick before you’ll see her getting better.’ This proved to be very realistic.

Tina WangEmily’s Mother

Emily had a difficult time dealing with the side effects of chemotherapy. The treatment-induced nausea led to a loss of appetite, which in turn led to a dramatic loss of weight. “It was really tough at first,” Tina recalls. “Emily knew that she wasn’t feeling well, but she didn’t know why. She would cry when she saw the needles, and I would cry because I had to be the bad guy, holding her down. But she never saw me as the bad person. She would always want Mommy to be there to help her.” The 3F8 treatments proved especially painful because they also attack the neurosensory cells. Luckily, the treatments became more bearable as Emily received more of them. “Like many kids at Memorial, she learned to adjust to the pain,” Tina says in amazement.

Relapse and Investigational Treatment

Unfortunately, in March 2005, three days before completing the N8 protocol, a tumor was discovered in Emily’s brain, signaling relapse. Surgery was performed immediately, with pediatric neurosurgeon Mark Souweidane removing the tumor. High-dose chemotherapy followed surgery, after which Emily started two rounds of 8H9 treatment. This is a promising new protocol that targets neuroblastoma cells in the central nervous system (CNS) using a monoclonal antibody known as 8H9. In this treatment protocol, a form of radioactive iodine is attached to the 8H9 antibodies. The antibodies can be safely injected into the cerebrospinal fluid, which bathes the CNS. The liquid radiation destroys neuroblastoma cells, which are targeted, without damaging normal cells.

In her research on neuroblastoma, Tina had heard that there were usually few options once the disease spreads to the brain. “I was devastated,” she says. “But Dr. Cheung was so calm and sure about the whole situation, telling us that there was this new treatment, 8H9, which could be used to bring Emily back into remission.”

 We have a dream team here at Memorial Sloan Kettering. As a result of this institution’s efforts, we have come quite far, with many children surviving neuroblastoma.

Nai-Kong V. CheungNeuroblastoma Program Head

Emily had the distinction of being the first female patient to receive this protocol. Fortunately for Emily, the 8H9 treatments were both successful and much less painful than the 3F8 had been.

A Real Trooper…and a Healthy, Happy Child

Today, thanks to her resilience and successful treatment, Emily is a happy, strong, outgoing, and resilient little girl with a kind heart and an easy-going nature. Despite her treatment-related short stature and high-frequency hearing loss, she is very healthy and is doing well in school. Although she knows that she was once sick, she does not feel as if she is different from the other children around her in any way. “Emily is truly a very special and gifted child,” her mom marvels. “She kept our hopes up and taught us how special life really is. We learned that sometimes you can get the bad, but eventually the good comes around.”

Advising other parents of children recently diagnosed with neuroblastoma, Tina explains that they should prepare for a difficult and emotionally challenging journey. “I remember a doctor here at Memorial telling me, ’You’ll see her getting very sick before you’ll see her getting better.’ This proved to be very realistic.”

Tina credits the neuroblastoma team at Memorial Sloan Kettering with saving Emily’s life. “We know that they spent countless hours in the laboratory developing revolutionary treatments like 3F8 and 8H9,” Tina emphasizes. “Prior to 8H9, there was no hope after relapse to the brain. We want to thank Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and Dr. Cheung’s team for their dedication to advancing neuroblastoma research. There is no better cancer treatment center, and I could not wish for a better hospital and medical staff for my daughter or anyone else’s child.”