#spend way too long making this lol
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what a week, huh
#yang wenli#julian mintz#legend of the galactic heroes#logh#lotgh#gineiden#happy wednesday!#this meme is basically perfect for yang though i had to#did i spend way too long trying to figure out how to color this? yes i did. but#as a tintin fan as well as a logh fan i feel like i really wanted to make this one look nice. hopefully i succeeded LOL#sorry yang i keep drawing you looking miserable but in my defense you are going through it(tm) like. basically all the time constantly#meme redraw#arttag
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when your workaholic boyfriend falls asleep on the sofa and you want to hang out with him 📝💤📖
bonus gift i did for my secret santa event i hosted! the winner of the raffle was @pixe7ed 🩵
#lee arts#art#digital art#genshin impact#genshin fanart#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#arts#genshins#small art account#gay art#i did it i finally did some gay art lol look at them. its gay to read next to your sleeping bf just to spend time with him#i only had 5 days to work on this so it could be better#but i tried my best with the time i had!#also tried to push myself out of my comfort zone and practice some background/lighting#with the secret santa closed now#i hope you all enjoy this last art of 2024!#also shoutout to pixi who was here for my first secret santa event 5 years ago and stuck around long enough to join this one too!#kinda glad she won or feel like it makes sense in a way because if this fact lol not that im playing favorites. it was a fair raffle 😆#the wheel of names made the choice!#lee ss 24
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clarazz are so strong if i was (vaguely in love with and) slightly possessive of my best friend and the whole world was obsessed with him (like i was) id crash out 😭
#m!ik#ameri chima vine shiida mephisto? whos next henri?#not to mention eiko purson and lied 😭 (who really i mention specifically bc they apparently kin him which is soo funny. also they make up#boku trio together! though if we were making a list list im not sure id add em a tier above any other misfit…)#not all romantic obsession to be perfectly clear^^ but they all wanna stand by irumas side the same 😳#ameri and chima who want to stand by iruma romantically and academically/socially/powerwise…#vine and eiko too but theyre like. gag characters ik we’re a comedy series but everything surronding these two is a bit so im#putting them in the same adjecent group of side characters who are crushing#shiida who wants to be his family#mephisto who wants to be his righthand man/royal advisor/wants to make him king#(again misfits in general but lied and purson i single out bc. boku trio / young king duo / music duo u get it#id group bachiko opera balam and maybe even kalego with these other guys but… mmm#mmm bachiko certainly loves her student and opera/balam/kalego are all protective over iruma in their own ways id argue that when u compare#operas his family. bachiko is his master#kalego and balam are his teachers and his familiar/the first person he told his secret to#theyre all (seemingly) satisfied with their closeness with iruma/comfortable with their relationship as it is. theyre secure#the list above are all sorta Longing for something more#they want to be important to iruma#theyre not satisfied! they want more! and the story specifically centers around this idea for an arc or two or many#which btw i love i think iruma deserves having so many people who want to be close to him and who admire him#omg i forgot kirio HELLO…. hes…a little differently obsessed.#lets group him by himself but near the ameri/chima and eiko/vine section if u know what i mean#(note: its been a while since ive read chapters with shiida in em but from memory i do think she sees iruma as a little brother-#which is such a specific bond to long for; i think she wants to be someone he trusts first#followed by someone who can protect him followed by someone who he can learn from)#demons are selfish; i think its really sweet that theyre all pretty respectful of how iruma chooses to spend his time esp for being demons#cuz guess what! irumas selfish too. a true demon. he wants more and more and thats kinda what its all about#tldr everyone wants to stand next to iruma; clarazz (who stand next to him as his soulmates) have feelings about it lol#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun
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i regularly get tags in my boba fett posts that say something along the lines of "#he needs a hug" so i'd like to pose a question to my fett fan followers:
assuming it came from someone he genuinely likes and cares about (think beviin or mirta), how do you think boba would react to someone hugging him?
#boba fett#(i'm excluding sintas here bc i think his reaction might be different given their romantic history)#here's my personal take:#first reaction to someone coming in for a hug is confusion; why is this person getting so close? are they injured? does he need to move?#hug makes contact. confusion continues.#at some point: realization hits. he is being hugged.#freeze. bluescreen. completely unmoving for duration of contact.#person pulls back. after several seconds‚ brain comes back online. silent alarm bells begin to ring.#why did they hug him?? did something terrible happen? IS something terrible about to happen?!#cannot compute that they've hugged him out of affection/care. it has to be because something somewhere has gone horribly wrong.#at some point might actually ask if something has gone wrong. is unlikely to believe them if they answer no.#spends way too long finding excuses to hang around that person (more than he already does anyway) hoping they'll tell him what's wrong#i'm talking days if not weeks here#at some point: is forced to accept that nothing is wrong and that this person just HUGGED him for... incomprehensible reasons!!!#complete 180. isolation time. still lowkey waiting for something awful to happen.#let's assume it doesn't. at some point‚ reemerges from isolation and tries to carry on like nothing happened#(secretly thinks about the hug for the rest of his life)#and if they hug him again? well brother i think he just dies#(i'm jk but these tags are already too long lol)
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Stop being so pretty already, gosh (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#DAX#ZEX#They're just too pretty goodness me#Grumpy DAX! Piggybacking a bit off his grumps with ZEX but not all That much haha#Enjoys his company <3 Excitable and pleased and healthy - a good ZEX to be around!#Loves him ♪ What can you do#Pretty flirty ZEX! I don't mind making those obviously digital edits from time to time hmm#Makes things much more contrasty which is nice on the eye :) Dunno! I usually leave my scribbles alone but it might be fun to do more often#Like I don't already spend long enough on editing lol not the point it's for the ~aesthetics~ lol#Speaking of ♪ Starry dress ZEX ah <3 <3#I have a history of putting green aliens in sparkly starry dresses I just can't stop it's The fashion choice really#I think he'd look really stunning in a blues-and-golds like the VUX view in their close ups hehe#Though that central piece on his chest is a moonstone - obviously ♫#Phases of the moon belt :)#I love drawing the gathering of whispy dresses so much ahh and the way his arms pull either with just the tip or fully grabbed#Gathered into a bunch! Very fun shapes haha#I really enjoy putting him in unrestrictive clothing! Deserves to move comfortably!#Surprised I haven't put him in something with a leg slit yet tho lol - why does DAX grab me more for that style hmm#I guess the tunic style is usually like that haha I've got to put at least one of them in a Chinese style dress at some point#Not enough jewelry on his head tendrils now that I look at him hmmm - some starry webbing next time for sure#I never officially gave Bar the star-twinkling dress just the shooting star obi........o3o owo#It's a thought! It's an idea for sure :)#Fun fun fun with fashion ♪ S'why YIK is best girl hehe
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getting anxious and sad after hanging out with friends like come on man. i thought we got over this already ive got shit to do
#avpswjy#nobody did anything wrong ofc i just get this way#i always fear that im just kind of There and deeply forgettable#ppl care abt me but would they notice if i was gone? idk#and because i just kind of have difficulty making friends by default its hard to tell if im overreacting or not lmao#i know im standoffish!! im sorry!! i dont mean to be#i try to be friendly but social interaction takes a lot out of me :(#idk man i dont want to seem like im mad at anyone or tht anyone did smth wrong i just dont know how to stop having this kind of anxiety lol#tbhhh i think ive just been going thru it a bit bc ive been missing long distance friends :')#i wish i could live closer to friends#i think. the holidays coming up is making it a problem too bc i dont have enough time off to visit anyone :(#i can spend time w my brother n his family but only if my mother doesnt try to show up#and i dont want to be alone#anyway. its whatever. ive just been feeling lonely lately
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This whole project with crime and punishment 2007 makes me laugh so much. Give a mouse a cookie type of deal. Im going to create better captions for it...okay, ill find higher quality footage without a watermark for a little extra effort. Well...i guess i could upscale it too, and do some editing to make it a little clearer, 1080p.... and i can change the color grading, too...
#floyd.txt#I love this book so much and its a good adaption...#But also the captions take the most effort ahahah#I think no matter what ill find a way to keep it accessible online. Youtube vimeo dailymotion etc#I doubt itll be taken down ive actually seen uploads from almost a decade ago.#But just in case...im...dedicated!#First episode is taking a minute due to certain changes and i was really extra with the opening captions#I synced the fade ins and outs and all of that. Stupidly tedious with preimier pro... blegh#This will come up until its over im sorry this is what im spending part of my nights on. Parts of my day when possible.#All these passion projects...months long projects...this book!!@#The doll does make me laugh too. I always wanted to do this. Im going to make rodya. I love him that much :)#Hes good beginner sewing wise. I helmed everything and what not and had to rough it up lol
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got paid for some fuckin rewards bullshit via prepaid digital visa gift card. needed that in my paypal so i can transfer to my bank acc and use it as real fucking money. paypal let me link yhe card but not add to pp balance from it. ended up having to send card balance to my own ko-fi (linked to my paypal) as a guest user. seems to have worked but now paypal has put 2/3 of it on hold and i have to wait a week before i can use it. but whatever i wont be needing it until next weekend anyway so? win i guess?
#next weekend is reptile show... wanted to have some money to spend so i can forget about how poor ive been bc of being too sick to work Lol#to clarify: im not being like. Wildly irresponsible by doing so. im working enough to cover necessities/pay family for bills#i just am choosing to try and set aside what i can to spend on soemthing that makes me happy and that ive missed doing for a long time#im mostly just pleasantly surprised that the “complete our app/site partner deals to earn gift card!” shit was real i thought i was wasting-#-my time lol. but it cost me absolutely nothing and im desparate and all it took was way too many hours spent playing shitty games in bed so#.pdf#rd
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they r literally the worst.
#this convo makes me so crazy for them but i am like. so so brain fogged rn i cannot tag ramble abt it properly lol#bc the whole ‘it’s hard not to with you’ thing is 100% genuine i think#i do feel like at this point they do Like each other. he actively Wants to spend time with them now bc they’re fun! they make this fun!#he can pretend none of the usual guilt and disgust is there bc they’re in on the game too and they’re both just playing#and he’s found this little game is so much more fun when they both know the rules#he just has to not think about what it means and not let it go any further#maybe they don’t Need to fall for it exactly as long as they keep playing along but he most certainly Cannot fall for them#(it’s already too late. it was too late before it ever began.)#i will also say like i think there are at least a Few more days in between the goblin party and this. bc technically this is my next long#rest after the party lol#the whole timeline of act 1/2 esp is way elongated in my mind bc otherwise all these astarion convos happen Way too close together r#wait this is the second one after the party i think. whatever. still too close#漫言#oc. xarrai#z plays bg3#r. hold me like a knife
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Having a PC makes me wanna write...
#thinking abt abt abt#going down on Karlach and she's super sensitive cuz its been so long#that she gets off quick and is so embarrassed but needy and greedy and you're prepared to spend all night down there for her#thinking about her being in tears cuz she's dreamed about being able to touch someone for so long and when she finally can its too good#its too much yet not enough and she's overwhelmed by every little touch#thinking of her being so fretful and worried about hurting you too#hands hovering above your skin#the way she'd stop breathing when she does touch you. just for a moment. like the silence will make her hear any sizzle or burning#before its too late#cant help but think shes jittering and clumsy but so eager#her hands digging into your skin... claws just shy of breaking skin. fangs grazing#the length of your body in a way that's painfully carnal#mmmm....lol god i needa write
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honestly thinking abt it i’d definitely have preferred if danganronpa v3 had actually fully committed to the “fiction that hates you and mocks you and wants you to question why you still enjoy it bc you become brainless amoral voyeurs whenever you engage with it, you people kinda suck ass tbh actually” reading all the way to the bitter salted earth end. like i doubt i’d have *liked* the weird superiority complex vibes from it and the whole deflected creative ennui onto the audience still. but i’d for sure have to at least *respect* the gumption, the sheer full-chested audacity of the choice, especially in the context of this specific franchise, if the writing didn’t spend like an extra hour pussyfooting around doing a watered down, sugarcoated little backpedal into “oh no, not you actually bc you specifically are special and nice and good and don’t count”. this trial is way too fuckin long anyway like pick your bit and stick to it binch. call me a sucker to my face binch come on!
#ndrv3 spoilers#drv3 spoilers#like if i go back to ch6 now i spend like four hours doing the logan roy 'fuck oooff' on a loop lmao#tbh a long multi installment narrative will always always be better with a strictly defined end where it goes 'no more.' ofc.#but that works better when like. the writer actually Wants to make the last one#they want it to end but they also really want to Make the last part. not to just have it Be Over With#but still sell another game heeheehoo#and also if you take this legit approach you have to. once again. commit lmao you actually have to stop making more#can't have the apocalyptic (figuratively.) end all and then keep trying to make tha cash money off anime and spin offs and shit lool#if u gonna point and laugh and call me a lil bitch that's your call man i get it but you gotta actually. commit. to. the. bit.#like i couldn't even be that mad. like creatively speaking. boy you picked what you were going for an threw yr whole ass into it fr#except i'm a special boy and actually Not a lil bitch (sadness) so hmm im allowed to keep buying more Kids Getting Murdurrred Franchise#pls dont be taking this too seriously i genuinely do not care abt this series enough to hold strong opinions either way lol#v3 just. as a concept amuses me more than anything. in an absurd way. like that vine of the screaming chorus of rubber chickens#danganronpa spoilers#drv3#danganronpa#oh and besides zero time dilemma did the whole meta twist series ending better ahAHAHAHAHHEEHEE
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it's just eternally like: i want to commission art, but the instant i think about articulating what i want i instantly ragdoll
#the fallout kill cam noise plays and i clip into the nearest doorway and everything#literally if someone has a 'how to commission artists' walkthrough that would change my life#sometimes i just want to give someone money to do whatever they want too and i also don't have a social script for that#like paying someone to draw something They think is cool but might not spend time on for free#anyway this shouldn't be so hard and yet like so many things it is lol.#if i make a long pdf document and include like 5 images is that overkill? do people hate that?#what's the accepted way of saying 'here's kinda what i envisioned but you're the visual artist so if you have a cooler idea pls do it'#my life would be so much easier if i had a pre-built email template for every casual social situation and not just professional ones#rambler rambler
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My eczema is actually driving me out of my mind I swear to fucking god
#i have had this recurring patch of dyshidrotic eczema on my right middle finger for 6 months now (i searched around to find the exact#duration lol)#i looked on the subreddit and my situation is nowhere near as severe as a lot of people’s so i feel very lucky due to that#like there’s people whose entire hands are covered in it and i just have a patch of it on my middle finger#plus a few recurring patches of more ‘average’ eczema/dermatitis#my left pinky knuckle; the space between my left middle and ring finger; the inside of my right wrist; and the outer side of my right hand#are the recurring spots but i don’t get bumps there. just reddened; itchy and cracked skin#the bumps are just on my right middle finger but they drive me CRAZY#i can’t knit or write with a pen while the bumps are there because i’ll burst them and if that happens i Really won’t be able to knit#because it hurts too much#i’m trying to make christmas gifts and the whole side of my middle finger is just a bunch of tiny cuts#i’m so sick of it!!!! it doesn’t seem to respond to my normal steroid cream (betnovate) or my hand lotion (gloves in a bottle)#it has to have been sparked by an allergy but i can’t for the life of me figure out what it is. i first noticed this happening#when i started cooking from scratch a lot earlier this year. i blamed my wooden spoon for rubbing up against the side of my middle finger#but switching to a silicone spoon hasn’t helped. i only started using nail products in like august-september and this had been going on#for months by then. i mean i literally only quit being a lifelong nail biter in late july#i feel like going to the doctor is the only way i’ll get this fixed but i feel embarrassed because it’s SUCH a mild case#like i could absolutely just chuck a band aid on it and get all my christmas gift knitting done. but jesus CHRIST man#maybe i’ll see if i can get hydrocortisone via boots online. it might respond to a different steroid maybe#i have very little faith in antihistamines because this shit was if anything worse during the summer when i was taking fexofenadine#but i might take nytol anyway because fuck this#personal#ETA because i know someone is going to suggest that my pen/needle/spoon grip is stupid and i should adjust it to prevent this:#i have SUCH bad dyspraxia it’s not even funny. learning new motor skills or a new muscle memory takes me such an unbelievably long time#i’d rather put up with the eczema than spend like a year relearning how to knit#the spoon i will try to hold in a more encompassing hand grip and i’ve been trying to avoid handwriting for a long time but needles….. no
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was brave and talked to my doctor abt my period bs + she said it might be endometriosis without me even having to bring it up... 💀
#shes prescribed me naproxen & tranexamic acid for now bc theyre basically the only 2 painkiller options i havent tried yet#but shes said she'll text me some resources on endometriosis and asked me to book an appt in january to update her#and then she can either issue a repeat script or we can go down the route of trying to diagnose a condition#which would likely take a long time so id probably have to try hormonal meds again in the meantime but she was rly understanding abt#the fact id had negative experiences w them before so was apprehensive abt it. so nice to have a dr who actually cares instead of trying#to fob me off w over the counter meds which is what happened last time lol#she was like wow im surprised they told you to take codeine for cramps thats not smth id recommend due to the side effects 💀#like damn. well ive been doing it for the last few years and yeah its not great#augh.... its ok tho i feel better now im actively doing smth abt it and looking for a diagnosis is an option thats available#bc ik how rare it is for gps to take patients seriously. the average diagnosis time for endometriosis is 12 years in wales 💀💀#my mums had such a struggle with gynaecology in her part of the country too shes been waiting for an operation for almost a year#and they booked her in for it and everything and then when she showed up the doctor was like im so so sorry i dont have access to a clinic#and i wanted to cancel your appt bc obvs i cant carry out the surgery without a clinic but the practice refused to let me cancel it#she showed my mum emails shed sent to management begging them to let her cancel patients she wasnt able to treat bc its such a waste of#everyones time and resources and rly shitty to do but they told her to 'watch herself and think about meeting her targets' 💀#bc cancellations look bad on their records so they were forcing her to hold appts without treatment anyway lmfao#insane country how is the nhs still functioning.#anyway thats todays medical report ik how eagerly u guys have been waiting on my pussy update#didnt ask abt antidepressants bc didnt have time and anyway im handling it better now its just taken a while to adjust to the shorter days#and the cramp stuff is way more pressing bc i get them for a week or two before my period AND when i ovulate now#so im probably spending equal amts of time in pain than not in pain every month now 👍#actually makes me feel fucking insane when i start thinking about it. its fine tho. okay im gonna piss and then go out again to sort out#everything ive gotta do today and then i can just chill this afternoon#how is it only 10am.....#.diaries
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actively live laugh loving through a crisis of sexuality except its not in the fun way (the fun way is: oh my! am i gay? i should find a hot dyke to experiment with)
im twenty three years old i cannot seriously be wondering whether or not i like boys. i already did this shit in middle school like can we not
#bro i literally did conversion therapy about this shit 😐#if it turns out that im bi im gonna be so mad like im not even kidding#a year or two ago i had this little blip of a moment where i was like... surely im not bi... right?#but i was in a HAPPILY committed long term relationship so i was content to just like. never examine it too deeply#bc i was like. well its not like im going to be in a position to find out so it doesnt really matter lol#but now im wicked single and its like ive been pressing “ignore” on a pop up for too long and now its gotten to a point where its#completely unavoidable#do i like men!!!!!!! fuck if i know!!!!!!!#its not like i can just find a random guy and be like hey can we make out real quick i need to check something#bc im so legitimately terrified at the idea of being NEAR a man like that#but being scared of engaging with men doesnt mean that you're incapable of being attracted to them#like. i know i like women. thats easy to check. can i see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman. yes. check.#is the idea of being intimate with a woman appealing. yes. check.#like i know that shit. its not even a question.#but with men its like: i dont fucking know!#can i see myself spending the rest of my life with a man? no. because the idea of that hasnt even been on my radar since i was fourteen#like. it was either i was going to end up with a woman or i was going to be celibate for the rest of my life.#and any thoughts of “ending up with a man” before that are those of a girl who grew up in a heteronormative society and didn't know another#option was even fucking possible!#god and as for being intimate with a man. i dont know! “does it excite you?” i dont know!!! i have no fucking clue!!#and the fact that i dont have that gut reaction or desire is what made me feel so sure about being a lesbian#but i legitimately dont know if i have the capacity to feel that way#and like... i wont know if i dont check. but how the hell am i even supposed to go about doing something like that???#is this comp het?#i dont fucking know!!!!!!!#whatever it is its not fun or sexy and its REALLY killing the vibe
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lol. sooo it seems my followers list is also bugged now,,,, not just my following list..?
yeaaa.... it's staying at the same amount - in the number, visually, on mobile... meanwhile even though i am blocking bot followers - it doesn't go up or down, even when i reload and leave, lol
my following list has been broken for Years. i have hit its prostrate several times and so good and deep it couldn't think no more and could no longer function.
but that's okay. it doesn't need to be able to think. heck, i can't think a lot of the time either!
but it does get a little bit confusing at times, for sure, hmm? and frustrating?
like being unable to follow new people sometimes, but only sometimes, and sometimes totally being able to Without having to do any unfollowing.... it's uh.
it leads to confusion ':D
aahh.. my best era was when i was definetely and also Visually past the following limit. i remember sitting there at 5013 and being smug as a bug who had fugged.
and alive!!! i felt so alive!!
which some bugs don't after they have fucked.
#following limit bugs#following limit#tumblr bugs#tumblr tech problems#it's my monthly or so complaints about my following limit issue#and yaaaa i am just gonna complain this way rather then send in another bug report. the prev ones were not responded to iirc#so ya im just gonna be living my life and complaining and musing about is as I go#OH! AND YEA!#making queer sex jokes about it too. or whatever else falls into interest when the complaining time comes#also sure it's not your bog standard type of complaining on this one. i am in a quite amused mood#i am finaggling and haggling and foggling mine tumblr bugs. i have known them for years and they are not common.#apparently most people don't: spend as much time as me on tumblr AND ALSO follows as much people as me.#like I've been in this game for a long time. and sure i would like to u follow blogs from Ages ago - some of them#but tumblrs unfollowing system (when you wanna mass unfollow) just sucks lol. it ain't ez being meezy#and now that tumblr is skeleton crewing i am even more so just like. welp idk whattatellya#or idk if skeleton crewing is correct at this point in time#lol tumblr works better than discord.#like recently discords been fucked#anyway#oh yea ig i should tag this with#krockat krockar#it aint really an interesting post mb. but it Is. a Post.
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