#spells? don't know 'em
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"Be sure to look after your Dream Eater friends, they'll help you out in a bind! And guide you through countless nightmares."
Featured song: Dream Drop Distance Title Theme
'Sweet Dreams' features the Komory Bat from Kingdom Hearts, Dream Drop Distance! While there's a split crowd in terms of people either loving them or not liking them, we can all agree that they got a huge boost of appreciation and concern after learning the ending of KHUx. I know I haven't played DDD, but I know I love the Dream Eaters, and how could I resist drawing a fluffy lil bat??
#familiaugust#kingdom hearts#dream drop distance#komory bat#kh#kh ddd#nintendo 3ds#i would play DDD just for the dream eaters not gonna lie#dream eaters#i play kh like a brute though#spells? don't know 'em#those title screen themes hit dang well even for those who haven't really played kh honestly
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#nerdy prudes must die#starkid npmd#npmd#starkid productions#starkid#team starkid#I don't know how to spell most of their names so I can't tag em lol sorry
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'Bodies - hundreds of them, raised into an army of undead! He needed bodies! The cleric was unaware of Bhaal feeding him these images. He knew only that he wanted such an army under his control.'
I like to imagine that every now and then Durge gets the sudden urge to start a zombie apocalypse due to Bhaal getting bored in the back of their soul/mind/whatever. Just a little one? A localised one in Beregost maybe?
#I know necromancy is on the sorcerer spell list so why the hell don't I have em in BG3#I'm also amazed Bhaal didn't have them made undead considering he considers being alive a mar on his perfect death#...and then he keep resurrecting his followers and himself so clearly it's not that important#sillyness#babbling#/durge#the idiot three
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oh my FUCKING shit , I am about to absolutely fucking *punt* this group of boys in my sign language class holy fucking hell .
#just blahs#okay this may just be bcs i havent ever really seen ableism irl#but legitimately what the fuck#the teacher for my sign class is completly deaf right ? and there's these three guys in the back corner who are literally just .#the single most offensive people i have ever had the displeasure to exist in the same space as#the teacher will teach us smthin about deaf culture and they'll fully just be like 'oh haha why don't they just say it ?'#or today ??? as soon as shes not looking at them theyll just yell insults at her .#and then obviously *she can't hear them bcs shes **deaf*** and one of em will do the dumb highschool boy laugh like 'haha yell it louder'#aND IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CHUCK MY PENCIL AT THESE ABLELIST PEICES OF SHIT#or theyll mock the way she talks or theyll just blatantly ignore what shes trying to teach#and my friend who knows a bit of sign bcs her dads deaf was obv fast at spelling her name and one of em calls her a tryhard#because shes actually putting effort into this class .#like literally what the hell is wrong with you . this isnt a required class . you *chose* to be here so shut the fuck up#and i dont even know what the proper thing to do here is . like . do i tell the teacher those boys over there are being dicks ?#do i just walk my 5'0 ass all the way across the class to smack them upside the hesd ?#do i throw the pencil at them ?#i dont know what im supposed to do here but FUCK im so pissed off about this#im literally just trying to learn this language and they are making it so difficult bcs every other minute theyre over there yelling#fucking hell#ableism#anyways .
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actually ngl, i have been playing with the idea of byan, at some point in their fledgling verse, probably years down the line, eventually coming to work at some shitty little 24 hour tattoo shop
#you know... one of those places that's not the best quality or anything & kinda targeted at people who're drunk and/or spontaneous#where u can walk in and get a tattoo started in under 5 mins bc ur just picking smth kinda generic#or even bringing in a pinterest tattoo to have them copy completely#and byan's like. probably one of the few there who at least makes it their own interpretation bc they hate just copying#and their work is a lot more colourful & fun bc everyone else there sees it as more of 'just a job' than smth their passionate about or w/e#they're* passionate about smh what is spelling#but like. come on. vampire tattoo artist? pretty cool. u can't tell me otherwise#but also they'd be scrambling for smth to make their undeath worth living u know#doing smth they're passionate about and maybe making a bit of money out of it would help a little#god but imagine walking in half drunk to get a tattoo and seeing what looks like this 18 y/o kid working there adhgjsg#just fully babyfaced... lookin like they should be going to school in the morning and everything#like they don't even look old enough to be able to get a tattoo without a parent's permission but here they are givin em to other people#just an idea I'm considering u know how it goes#anyway kinda exhausted after not the best day so I thinkkkkkk I'm skipping drafts again tonight sorry :x#gonna try this whole crochet thing again lmao adhgjsg#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ verse: fledgling.
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Random question
You got a favorite Zelda enemy? It can be a boss or a regular monster
i jus think theyr neat...
bosswise?
that.
#edgyasks#i also like fyrus the inferno and argorok and demise and and... ugh i love loz#i KNOW i put a lot of tp stuff but i love that game so much gimme a break!!#from other games i hate the Redeads in Windwaker to DEATH but their concept I love#I like the Poes in uhm... God uh Triforce Heros I think yeag they're fun looking#Skull Kid from OOT ofc they're cool. Oh oh also the lil skull dudes that come outta the ground at night#Oh in Skyward I like the uh.. the ancient looking enemies in that one desert place i fuck with those#i don't really remember anything from the og game on nes so i can't say anything there...#Oh again with these but the Poes and Redeads in Hyrule Warriors always looked awesome!!#hated fumking... fuccin hyrule captain ghost .... he sucked...and golden chimkin#OUGH THE DRAGON BOSS IN WINDWAKER WAS SUPER FUCKIN FUN IK IM DOING LIKE DESIGNWISE BUT HE WAS FUN.#in botw i liked the lizalfos or however the hell you spell em#they were just creatures! little guys!#lionels too like i genuinely loved those dudes#i'll...stop ranting sorry i like.. legend of zelda..#i missed some games but whatever i'm. i should stop lol#legend of zelda#loz
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Never... uh... never drew the connection between the names Ananyavarda and Vardem before now and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to...
I sort of. huh. That's. Eerily taking up quite a lot of my thought power at the moment
I sort of realised earlier... My god there's so much context to the presence of Bloodborne in my life, summarised now by "I'm pretty sure the game is about family, and regardless of whether it is or not, when I was a bloodborne pc pagan Bloodborne covered up an immense amount of things, from the identities of my sons and their school-cult being mapped to characters, memories being turned into false memories, energies and places being turned into bloodborne-related imagery and places, and so on"... Emphasis on that second part, because I've been trying to dig up what I felt that was attributed to Bloodborne. I felt things so vividly, and I realised last time Lev came over to play that uh bloodborne the game is not actually indivisible from the energies I felt, it was a case that it was reminding me of and stirring up specific energies and so on
I sort of realised earlier, to start that sentence a third (haha it's always three=manifesting with bloodborne) time, that... ANVD funnily enough is heading in the direction of being like the Dreams/Nightmares in our spiritual view of them back then. I quickly tried to bury the thought because I'm admittedly sick of fictional shit, but
Vardem... Vardem's been a mystery. Vardem was... a new Dream that Lull was being called on to help shape and create, effectively I believe he was starting to create not a mindspace but a realm - and by that I don't even mean he was creating it. I mean that I think he was miming creating something, and what exactly he was miming creating is the question
Do I think it is ANVD? No, I actually really don't. But there's some kind of... something... There's some kind of... Well, look, what I can say because speech is hard holding all these eggs is it's weirding me out that Lev knows what Vardem is because my tf asked him about it years ago and he got all uncomfortable, Lev knows ANVD, Lev gave ANVD the name Ananyavarda (Ananya-Varda), that's interesting
#I. Hmm. Time to shelve it? I don't know? I don't know what to do with those thoughts#ramblings //#location: ananyavarda //#I never made a connection because... admittedly Vardem is such a ''it seemed like he was trying to design a place for Bloodborne 2#And I give so little of a shit about pc pagan shit nowadays I just don't care. I don't want to interact with that'' so. Well there's also#the matter of Lev getting uncomfortable. I don't like lull + uncomfortable Lev. Anything that's related to those#two things is something I don't want to even think about because like... You may notice I have. unless I've forgotten like#à single instance. never really discussed Lev and lull together in regards to each other. I may bring up both names#in a post but I never say relations like what Lev thinks of lull - I mean I've brought up the opposite#Like lulls stupid attempts at copying Lev but like. I don't want to talk the opposite. I'd like to be a place where these two beings#have never fucking met#Anyway. It's probably just some naming convention in the family... I'm sure the double A could be a us power thing#And the -em ending could be a twins power thing with some meaning for the Vard- part thats like Place or Lake or something#But it's. I don't know. Something is eery about this. Eerie? Spelling. Bruh
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There's no way I'm letting her near the positivity juice card I bought today
#if I'd got the poo card then sure#she's banned from writing on cards since she wrote 'sorry to see you go' on the Irish accountant's that she sacked#that's not actually true but I'm making it a rule now#she can't text me this on a Sunday night#or what a workers compensation even if#this isn't#like i wouldn't even know what to invoice#or what a workers compensation even is#also months????? come on Sophia#sigh#i don't want to#I'm inspired by Charlotte#NO I DON'T WANT TO#Charlotte would do well working for Sophia#she'd be good at correcting Sophia's mistakes#'no it's tunip'#'penguin?' 'PAY-ZO' (i can't spell)#i miss Charlotte#i wonder if she's still in Octonauts#or is she onto something greater#Will she still dismiss my attempts to Collingwoodify her#i should bring the Taylor book i bought next time i see her#she needs to learn about Taylor#if i can't brainwash her in Collingwood then maybe I'll try Taylor Swift#force my interests on 3 year old#force my interests on a 3 year old that probably would say things like DADDY'S BUTT into a microphone#Start 'em young
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Love going to therapy only to come out worse on the other side. Trying desperately to get the depressed and anxious parts of my brain to shut the fuck up so I can go over what we said logically, but unfortunately for me all I'm getting is "well logically he was saying that you're weird, unpleasant, and desperate and people can sense that so that's why they don't want to be friends with you, and also maybe you just aren't the kind of person who's supposed to have friends and you should just get used to being the person your anxiety wants you to be. Which is to say alone." When what he really probably said is "It sounds like you're trying really hard to make friends the way outgoing boisterous people make friends, which just might not be a good fit for you or the kind of people you want to be friends with. You might need to take some time to learn how you're most comfortable in social situations and how you'd like to interact with people before jumping straight in to trying to brute force friendships." Which honestly still sucks because I'd like to feel less like I'm completely alone in a room full of people I'm (hopefully supposed to be?) friends with sooner rather than later.
#ya boy is just chronically the plus one friend#the “so-and-so's significant other” friend#the “well they tried to get to know me but I just stopped talking for a bit so they thought I hated them” kind of a person#the “stopped really talking once we weren't forced to be around eachother anymore even though they keep up with other people” guy#got that “I said we were acquaintances to be polite because I didn't think you liked me that much and now you're mad at me” thing going on#give em the ol “I didn't realize you were trying to make plans because I'm so used to people not being serious about making plans with me”#If you're reading this and think/thought we were friends I'd love to know because I genuinely can't tell unless someone spells it out for m#and I just assume the worst because I don't want to be weird or overbearing even though I know assuming the worst is also usually hurtful
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homestuck is getting crazy
#i'm almost halfway done#i knew dave most likely had red eyes but it was still fun to straight-up see one of em#for some reason i thought it wasn't canon look i don't know#(points) albino#i just got to the part when the cue ball lookin guy changed the whole thing into green so we can read his white text better#also losing my mind because DOES TEREZE KILLING VRISKA COUNT AS THE 2ND CONDITION FOR KILLING A GOD#sorry terezi i forgot how to spell her name#ANYWAY i know john isn't staying dead cause his death wasn't heroic or just#but WAS VRISKA'S DEATH JUST??#the only reason i think it might not be is because she was stabbed in the back. but terezi did it to save everyone so WAUG#i like vriska i don't want her to be dead but also also like#tons of people r dead rn and i'm not really pressed about the permanence of any of it#rose descending was so fucking sick.#anyway homestuck is good man why didn't anybody tell me#don't mind me speculating here about things everyone who's read it already knows. i'm at abt page 3850 or so and i have no clue#abt what lies ahead. except for a bunch of other characters that everyone draws all the time
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one of the things i hate more than anything is going back to my writing, rereading something I wrote, and thinking “ah yes this is terrible” because rn that’s me reading through several paragraphs of ch6 of TFF lol.
#IS THIS IMPOSTER SYNDROME WE JUST DON'T KNOW#i am very dyslexic and try to catch as many errors as possible before posting so i am SO SORRY if my writing is actually. very bad.#like if ya'll see spelling/phrasing errors please always feel free to message me to fix 'em because (bites the furniture)#the struggle is so realllll I just spent 40 mins hunting down errors I screenshotted on my phone that needed to be fixed#patch update jetstorm no longer accidentally refers to rattrap as nightscream in a dialogue mixup#boxy writes fanfic
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arthur + co head into the woods for some fucking reason don't ask me and arthur gets separated and meets with some rogue druids? idk a couple magic people and one of em tries to attack arthur but the attacks fail and the other one (leader? idk) just goes "dumbass. fucking look at him. you think your magic would work against him?" and the other one looks at arthur for a long time before going "oh shit,, bros protected." and the leader nods and is like "yeah. by emrys. so don't be stupid and try to hurt him again otherwise emrys might come after you and i'll die by proxy." and arthur is just there like "hi. wtf are you talking about?" and gets a short explanation about emrys and all the protection spells he's cast over arthur to the point where he's almost basically immune to magic. and arthur is like "hi. idk an emrys. also why would a super powerful sorcerer be protecting me?"
anyways, they're like "no yeah emrys is protecting you from the shadows. has been for a while now. you probably don't know him as emrys - he goes by another name. based on the sheer amount of spells on you, he's been protecting you for years." and then they dip bc like hell are they gonna stick around for emrys to find them talking to arthur and arthur makes his way back to the knights and merlin and merlin gets all naggy like "wtf is ur problem? stop wandering off! you could've died! i wasn't there to protect you!" and arthur shoots back instinctively like "and how would you protect me, merlin?" and merlin just glares before rolling his eyes and going "you have no idea the amount of times i've saved your ungrateful ass"
BOOM arthur suspects merlin and stalks him and watches him perform magic and watches as druids and sorcerers kneel before him and call him "lord emrys" and he's just like "wtf." idk. it was the barest glimpse of a vision from god. this is all i got. yall gotta fill in the gaps.
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WRITING TIP: grammar. good god.
just because it's tumblr doesn't mean you can throw grammar and spelling out the window.
COMMON MISTAKES:
Not indenting for paragraphs. I know tumblr doesn't have the 'tab' function, but at least do a paragraph break. When?
If someone new is speaking
If the setting/action has changed
a new thought
think of it like the camera angle changing in a movie. Would the camera break to another room? or would you watch five minutes of bouncing and spinning while the camera moves to the right location. (Hint: it's the first one)
Big blocks of text make me homicidal. Knock it off.
Apostrophes!
It's: it is
Its: belongs to 'it'. We think it can also be it's, but it's not (see what I did there huh huh hee hee hooo boy)
Possession: Jenna's, Jess', The Twins'. NOT Jennas', Jess's, The Twin's. If there is a group, put the apostrophe after the plural 's'. PLURALS DO NOT HAVE APOSTROPHES IF I SEE THAT AGAIN I WILL REVOKE YOUR LITERATURE LICENSE AAAAAH.
Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. "Like this." "Not this".
Dialogue punctuation.
"If you're talking and something happens," she said, dodging past a car, "you'd punctuate with a comma and lowercase." See how I didn't capitalize the bold word, or put a period after 'happens?'
Don't do this:
"If you're talking and something happens." She said, dodging past a car, "You'd punctuate with a comma and lowercase."
bad. wrong. booo.
MISUSING SEMICOLONS.
; this baby. makes a cute face ;) but is also useful!
it explains a clause, like so (an excerpt from my drabble 'Deal With It, pls read xoxoxo): "it was cozy; you'd pulled a blanket over your head and your music played gently." I said something was cozy, and then I explained how after a semicolon. It's not just a fancy comma. Don't use it like a fancy comma. it's like commentary of the actual writing. Professional parentheses.
PARENTHESES.
Don't use them. It doesn't make any fucking sense. use a semicolon or a colon or a comma or hyphens or literally anything else. underscores, even. just not parentheses. it's so weird.
WRITING STYLISTICALLY
Bold, italic, all lowercase, that stuff. use it consistently! you don't have to follow the rules if you make it seem intentional and consistent.
Bold.
emphasis, intense, eye-catching. good for a groundbreaking revelation. not the strongest choice for anger. has a staccato feel to it. punctual, concise.
Italic
wistfulness, pause, contemplation, haunting emphasis. good for flashbacks, whispering, angsty emphasis. If you overuse it, it'll feel kinda weird. i know we love her but give her some space. Otherwise it feels like pumping the gas and slamming the breaks really fast during the sentence.
all lowercase.
she's cute, she's aesthetic, she can get confusing sometimes. we need Capitals so that we can identify the Important Things. names, places, proper nouns, I know you know 'em. if you wanna start ur sentence lowercase, okay sure, but it gets muddy if you do it everywhere.
ok byeee xox
#writing advice#writing tips#descriptive writing#fic writing#grammar#writing help#writers on tumblr#fanfic
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Battinson Guest Starring on TV Shows
SO
For someone who holds the title of Richest Man in the World, Bruce doesn’t do a lot of traveling.
Which is to say he does a LOT of traveling, but he always tries to find a way out of it.
(Are there bat-related reasons for this? Are there people-related reasons for this? Are there anxiety-related reasons for this? Who knows?)
But partners and sponsors aren’t always going to tolerate his hermit-like tendencies. So once every month or so, Alfred wrangles Bruce into a private jet and sends him off to who knows where so he can represent the company.
Usually, it’s somewhere close on the East Coast, maybe it’s across the pond, even Asia isn’t off the table, but the rarest place to spot Bruce Wayne is actually the West Coast of the US.
One day, it is announced that Bruce Wayne will be spending two (count ‘em, 2) consecutive weeks in California with his kids for some grand business convention.
The West Coast media goes feral with the news, ESPECIALLY interviewers. And because Bruce kicks up such a fuss this time, Alfred has the gall to sign him up for FOUR TV appearances.
Here are these appearances :)
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Drag Queens, especially Drag Race all-stars, contribute to a wide variety of charities
So on a new episode, the queens are challenged to design and shoot a promotional ad for their own charity
And who better to act as a guest judge for this episode than the show’s largest benefactor, CEO of the Wayne Foundation, Bruce Wayne?!
Physically? He’s older than half of the contestants. But spiritually? He screams Baby Gay.
Fifteen minutes into the episode, Bruce is welcomed into the werkroom where he gives them pointers on their campaign. He’s in his cute little three-piece suit (Alfred’s idea) with the intention of looking put-together and knowledgeable. But that’s not the only outcome.
They all flirt with him. Everyone, single or taken. The confessionals are so thirsty.
“He’s lucky the cameras are on. Otherwise, I’d eat him up faster than a bachelorette party in a buffet line.”
“My celebrity crush is talking to me, and all I can focus on are his gorgeous eyes. How am I supposed to know what he's saying?”
Of course, they shoot their shot, but most of it is joking since they don't know he's bi yet.
“Are you single, honey?” Bruce blushes. “It’s complicated.” “Well, I’ll make it simple for you.”
We all know this man can't handle being flirted with. We saw how he froze when Selina did it. It’s like he mentally bluescreens when someone calls him a pet name.
Only THEN do they learn he's bi
One of the queens jokingly asks him, “Ever been with a man before?” thinking it would be a firm no, but Bruce says, “Actually, yes.” “Oh shit, really?” And to Bruce’s embarrassment, the whole room hears him.
The flirting is thus taken up a notch.
On the main stage, Bruce has a lot of great constructive criticism. He talks about how to find the right audience, the importance of a good slogan, and even goes on a little rant about logo design.
(You cannot convince me that Bruce hasn’t hyperfixated on the business of charity work before. Or the science of marketing. They’re his favorite business topics.)
After about three minutes of him complimenting one contestant for their Drag Library pitch, he stops himself mid-sentence and says, “Oh sorry, am I talking too much?” “No, please! Keep talking, sweetheart.” Bruce covers his face to hide his blush. “Why is everyone flirting with me?” “Baby, have you seen yourself?”
While the judges deliberate, RuPaul mentions Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Bruce nods along for a while then suddenly just blurts out, “Wait, does it spell ****?”
The judges pause then burst out laughing. “Oh no, we’ve traumatized him!" Bruce is blushing up a storm. “I just never thought about it like that!” “Sweet, innocent Bruce. We’re so sorry.”
It’s later revealed that Bruce offered to help some of the queens launch their charity projects through the Wayne Foundation.
It’s v cute 🥰
Nailed It!
I love Nicole Byer.
She is Mother.
In all seriousness, she’s so fucking funny and she’s personable enough to pull Bruce out of his shell a bit.
The theme for this episode is Found Family. Three pairs of family members compete together—a gay father and his adopted son, an aunt who adopted her niece, and a stepfather and stepdaughter.
Because Bruce Wayne famously adopted two children, he is invited to guest judge.
So Nicole opens the episode with a zinger, the contestants are introduced, and Bruce is welcomed onto the judge’s panel beside Nicole and Jacques.
(Yes, Bruce does speak French. Yes, Nicole makes a joke about it being hot.)
Nicole: “We were surprised you accepted our invitation, Mr. Wayne. You’re notorious for staying on the East Coast. What brought you to the Nailed It! Studio?” Bruce: “My children love this show. They always tell me I should be on it since I’m so bad at baking.” Nicole: “Really? Maybe we should do a celebrity season of Nailed It! and have you compete.” Bruce: “No, you should not.”
Nicole: “So, Bruce, I know you have a butler at home who bakes for you. But what’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten? Escargot? Bad caviar?” Bruce: “I drank olive oil straight from the bottle once.” Nicole: “…What?”
The problem for Bruce is he can’t say anything bad. It just feels mean :(
(And he would rather jump into oncoming traffic than gamble with a social interaction)
For the first challenge, the contestants make cake pops. But when Bruce tries the first one, there is a sickening crunch. Bruce’s eyes widen for a second and he slowly chews.
Nicole: “What was that? Bruce, are you okay?” Bruce, clearly struggling: “It’s…good.”
“Bruce, you can spit it out. It’s okay.” “I already swallowed it.” “Oh, you poor thing.” Bruce chokes for a second, and Nicole pats his back. “Please don’t die. We can’t afford it.”
For the big challenge, production has a surprise in store for Bruce.
Dick (9) and Jason (7) run onto the set and smother Bruce with a hug.
It’s adorable. Bruce no longer cares about paying attention, okay? His kids are here :D
The two boys read from cue cards to announce the second challenge: a three-tiered Gotcha Day cake. And as per tradition, the winner of the first challenge gets a leg-up.
This time, it’s a Helping Hands Button. When they hit the button, Dick and Jason will run over and help them for three minutes. (While being supervised, of course.)
As the contestants bake, Nicole says hello to Dick and Jason, who are clambering all over Bruce like a jungle gym. They both shake her hand and talk about how they love the show.
Nicole looks pointedly at the two empty chairs beside Bruce. “You know, we brought these chairs for you two to sit in.” Dick, on Bruce’s shoulders: “We’re fine, Ms. Byer!” Nicole: “Ms. Byer? Oh, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?”
Just ten minutes before the challenge is over, the Helping Hands button is pressed, and Dick and Jason are given stools so they can help the aunt and niece stack their cake tiers.
Two minutes in, the aunt instructs them to let go of the cake. But the moment Jason pulls his hands away, the cake topples over and covers him in frosting. Jason, whispering: “Oh f*ck.” Bruce: “Jason!” Jason: “I didn’t say that! Dick did!” Nicole: *cackling as Bruce buried his face in his hands*
Jason gets cleaned up, and Dick helps them stack what can still be salvaged.
When Wes brings out the trophy, he’s dressed as Batman. Dick and Jason gets a kick out of that.
Celebrity Family Feud
Bruce was invited to the show after his SNL skit went viral a few months ago
This episode, the teams are split up by cities they grew up in. Gotham v. Star City. Naturally, his team is playing for the Wayne Foundation.
It’s a pretty odd cast of people, most of them having moved to LA or Hollywood. Bruce is the only one to still live in Gotham.
They have fun, though, despite their limited common ground. The audience has a few good laughs.
(Some at Bruce's expense)
Harvey: You're a very wealthy man, Mr. Wayne. What do you really do in that tower all day? Bruce: I, uh…business? Harvey: …You business. Bruce: ……Wait-
All in good fun. Bruce just vibes in his little corner until he needs to answer a question. It's pretty chill.
For exactly half of the episode.
Then it happens.
Steve Harvey takes two people from each team up to the buzzer and says, “We asked 100 people: Name something your parents always told you as a kid.”
What the production failed to consider is how this particular question might be a sensitive topic for some contestants.
Bruce’s team gets the question, and Steve saunters up to Bruce, completely oblivious.
“Alright, Bruce Wayne!” Bruce nods awkwardly. “Hi, Steve.” “Bruce, what’s wrong? You’re looking a bit uncomfortable.” “…I don’t like this question, Steve.” “Why not?” Bruce just gives him a desperate look, and it clicks. “Oh! Oh my gosh!”
Let’s be real. Bruce is awkward enough, but Steve Harvey cannot save an awkward moment for his life either.
But he tries his best anyway and asks, “Are you okay with answering this question, or would you like to pass?” Bruce nods frantically. “I can answer. ‘I love you.’” “I love you too, Mr. Wayne.” “No, uh, my answer is ‘I love you.’” “Oh! That’s a good one.”
Thankfully, the audience erupts in laughter. That little interaction cuts the tension, and Bruce’s answer ends up on the board.
And by god, the memes
“I love you too, Mr. Wayne” is the new “Enjoy your meal.” “You too.”
The audio clip of “I don’t like this question, Steve” goes viral on TikTok
Someone gets a pic of Bruce and Steve looking at each other with palpable fear in their eyes, and it makes its rounds all over Twitter
10/10 never again
Running Wild with Bear Grylls
Now this is the most challenging. Not because it’s difficult, of course. But because Bruce has to look stupid enough to maintain his Brucie Wayne persona but smart enough to keep himself safe.
For this episode, Bear takes Bruce to the California desert.
“How much do you know about survival, Bruce?” Bear asks. Bruce nods carefully. “I did some survival training once with a friend from boarding school.” “Oh really, how did you do?” “Fine, I think.”
This is, of course, his way of saying I trained with a league of assassins for years, but Bear can’t know that! And that’s how most of the episode goes.
Thank god Bruce's fear of being caught is mistaken for being scared of the physical challenge because every time Bear points out how well he’s doing, he breaks into a sweat.
Bear: For a businessman, you’re surprisingly fit. Bruce, sweating bullets: Oh, this is all just for show.
Bear: Wow, you’re a natural. Are you sure you’ve never set up a zip-line before? Bruce, gripping his equipment so tight he gets rope burn: I think it’s just the survival instincts.
Of course, he pretends to be out of breath a few times. The Drama.
Bruce, pretending to slip and fall: Ouch! Who knew the outdoors were so dangerous? Bear, you are crazy. Bruce, internally: How much longer are we doing this?
Bruce being a vegetarian is actually a point of contention. You see, Bear always makes their celebrity guests do something crazy for food like skin a snake or eat a mouse. Scavenging for berries just doesn’t grab the audience’s attention.
But do you know what is vegetarian?
Bear: Now, in extreme cases of survival, it’s not rare for humans to resort to drinking their own pee. That’s what we’ll be doing in a moment. Are you up for it? Bruce, visibly repulsed: I’ve had Gotham tap water. I’ll be fine.
How on God’s Green Earth did Alfred convince him to do this?
To get to the extraction point, Bear takes Bruce down a cliffside.
Bear shows Bruce the meticulous process of properly belaying from the top of a cliff, and Bruce, who has done this over 100 times is like, “Wow that’s so dangerous :( Will we be okay?”
He really tries to ramp up his acting skills this time.
(Little does he know that’s not necessary.)
Bruce goes down first as Bear belays with a cameraman filming from the top. Halfway down, Bruce hears a scuffle, and the cameraman yells, “F*ck!”
Bruce looks up, arms already out for protection, and he sees a small disk falling towards him. It’s the lens cap. He catches it on instinct.
For a second, he thinks, “Shit, was that too skilled? That’s not enough to make people think I’m Batman, right? I just caught it in midair while dangling from a cliff. That’s totally not weird and suspicious. Normal people do that—“
Then Bear yells, “Bruce, drop it!” Bruce looks up at Bear, confused. “Why?” “There's a scorpion!” That’s when Bruce looks at the lens cap and sees a black scorpion perched on top with its tail ready to strike.
They don’t have those in Gotham.
Bruce jumps in his harness and flings the cap at the rocky cliffside. He hears a crunch, and the scorpion and cap tumble to the ground. Bruce frowns. Can a scorpion survive that drop?
“You just killed a scorpion, mate!” Bear cries. Bruce looks up in horror. “I killed it?!” “Hell yeah!” Bruce’s face falls. “No!”
Because oh. shit.
Bruce just killed something. The sad, orphaned vegetarian just killed a scorpion.
Bruce has a meltdown.
He didn’t mean to kill it!!!! Oh no, he just killed an innocent little creature. Yeah, he punches people for fun sometimes, and he definitely put a few violent criminals in the hospital, but he’s never committed MURDER!!
This poor little scorpion died due to his own negligence, and he feels so so so bad about it.
Bruce is a mess as he climbs the rest of the way down.
Bruce, cradling the scorpion’s body: I don’t know how to perform CPR on a scorpion! Bear: Bruce, you took its head clean off. Bruce: *sad noises*
Legit inconsolable. To him, it’s like he just murdered a puppy
Once they're out, Bear is trying to cheer him up. Bless him.
Bear: We’ve conquered the wild! Haven’t we, Bruce? Bruce, head between his legs, still mourning the scorpion: I’m never going outside again.
Yeah, no one’s going to think he’s Batman after that.
And that's all four of Bruce's TV appearances from the West Coast :) Dick and Jason never let him live any of it down. Alfred is almost sorry. (He is not sorry.)
Let me know your thoughts! What other TV shows do you think Battinson would appear on as a guest?
Okie dokie :D Love y'all! Have a good day <3
#RIP scorpion#bruce donates $10 million to the preservation of California wildlife to atone for his sins#battinson#bruce wayne#batman#the batman 2022#batman 2022#the batman#battinson needs a hug#dc universe#soft bruce wayne#gotham#rupaul's drag race#nailed it#celebrity family feud#running wild with bear grylls#dick grayson#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#long post#long long post
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i firmly choose to believe that the reason there weren't any cats in that house when Bells Hells bamfed in was because both Essek and Caleb are responsible cat parents and they both realized that their usual hierarchy of in-home catsitters (Beau & Yasha -> Jester & Fjord -> Veth, Yeza & Luc -> Caduceus) was depleted because they were all gonna busy with the liveshow shenanigans.
You know who wasn't busy? Kingsley.
You know who was next in that hierarchy? Definitely not Kingsley! (It was probably Dairon, but Dairon was busy running around the Cobalt Soul frantically)
So I love to imagine that the world is going to hell and there's at LEAST four cats in their house that need proper care and nobody is available to do it, so in a last ditch effort (because Mittens needs a special wet food diet and Krumel needs some medication and the others are simply too social to be left alone for too long) Essek phones up Kingsley and asks him.
Only for then, four days later, Essek stops into the house briefly to grab supplies and pauses halfway up the hall when he realizes that the cats are nowhere to be seen.
"Kingsley?" he Sends, trusting of his friend but not entirely sure of his character. "Where are the cats?"
"Oh, I had to go deal with a new trade deal by Port Damali!" Kingsley replies cheerfully. "Don't worry, the cats are with me!"
Essek pauses. Inhales deeply. This was the man he helped save, this was the man he mourned before a literal miracle of the gods brought him back.
"Kingsley," he Sends again, already bitter about the extra spell slot usage. "Are you at sea? Are you on a boat?"
"Yup!" comes the unadulterated happy reply. "The Captain's cabin is nice and roomy, and Krumel loves chasing down mice! Surprisingly helpful on a boat, cats! I might keep 'em!"
Essek physically restrains himself from wasting another spell slot on the tiefling. Instead, he touches the stone held in his palm.
"Caleb," he sighs. "I believe our cats were catnapped by Kingsley."
All he hears on the other end is a fit of laughter.
#cr spoilers#Shadowgast#fics#m9#wow this got away from me lol#cats#they'll probably mention the cats next episode but for now i like this theory#meta#they totally have kitties they're just NOT THERE NOW#i love them so much#essek thelyss#caleb widogast
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ASTROLOGY EDITION - THE SENSUAL APPEAL OF THE NAKSHATRAS
Hey, so I've been more focused on the nakshatras lately.. and love getting into how sensual, flirtatious, raw and powerful some of the nakshatras could be. I may start this off with just the nakshatras itself, focusing on the sign and its energy as opposed to the planets in each of these naks. So yeah. Lets get into it ;)
So first is up, Hasta. There the ones who really inspired me to do this so here we go.
Hasta - Delicate. Refined. Opened Hearts. Very sensual beings who know how to ease you into to their souls. They have a replenishing auras that could fulfill the desires of another. Oop, did I say that? They are indeed the temptress, the ones that will make you fall in love with, as they know you will never get anything from the in return. Having been hurt in the past, they usually carry themselves with a tight armor, only this time they know they wont have to... Because someone will always take the bait ;)
Hastas are truly amazing at crafting their hearts into the desires that they want. So much so, they'll utilize their sex appeal in order to get what they want. Very smart, coi and productive... Their like the jaguar you dont see coming. They always get what they want, because others are more than likely to give to the hastanian babe whenever they please.
Rohini - Ooooooh! They are sooo seductive. They have a quiet temper that is aroused when the right soul meets into their arms. They're only lovers for the plot. If it gets too deep and on the wrong foot then their outta here. Sorry busta!If you don't give it to them the right way, then they won't be here for long. They are only here for one purpose, and that is to fulfill their desires in more ways than one. Like their hasta friends, they know how to go for what they want, and they'll get it by any means necessary.
There temptress powers they carry can attract an audience if they let it. There touch can last for hours, penetrating into the skin like magic. They are the doorway to salvation. Pleasure is their profound language. It is a blessing and a curse to be this type of delight. A special occasion, they keep anyone anyway who is not deserving of their love.
Anuradha - I feel like this one deserves a round of applause ONLY because they do not share these gifts so easily. The people could want more but that isn't enough. Once they get a hold of your tempting magic people will definitely try and take you to the pits of hell. So its kept in a jar, locked away for a while until the anuradha babe is ready to go for the kill. When she wants it, she will. And when mama's hungry, shes gonna eat ;) Siren-like eyes that can penetrate into your soul. It can spook you ;) But all the Anuradha wants is to entice, it is how she gets what she desires. She has a flow that is naturally pulling like the Jyestha, we don't know what it is but its powerful, convincing, and its rare. The anuradha is the type to pull yu in, to the point that when she catches you in her spell.. she will eat you alive. Its better to stay away if you dont want to be bit, but her allure is just so damn powerful. It'll have you begging for more.
Krittikas - Their raw sexuality will pour into your skin, and before you know it.. they've already gotten you into their mini web. Darling.. the ones who where this nakshatra on their sleeves use every bit of their power to seduce the right one.. sometimes it catches others too. There striking presence keeps the others wondering where have they been all of their life. The one who moves to the beat of their own drum, tameless. It is why so many try to focus on wooing you in order to make you into what THEY want you to be.. and you beat em at their game every time. The seductive prowess they carry show a reflective force from the moon down to the sun, with its rays being so powerful it has everyone looking at them.. waiting to explore what is deep inside the krittika, only to be found later in their dungeon. Taking their souls, and never to be heard of again.
Shravana - They have a very powerful aura that pushes the narrative about themselves. They have the gift that keeps on giving. They know what to do with their seduction, its the one that gets them the highest bidder! What shapes you, is the power of the mind, the soul and the spirit. So they do themselves the diligence to create from within, and not without. They are hungry to learn more about their presence as their gifts connect to the souls of thousands.. What I mean is that these babes have a gift of opening up the godlike force that many try to emulate.. but many can't do. There seductive prowess inspires thousands to watch them as they watch to the shravana native, craving for their affection.. As they can be so very giving, but with a price. It all comes down to them wanting to be at the top, and they'll whatever they can to get it. It comes with a sense of ease, and they'll choose their favorite worshiper to teach ;)
Mula - HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! They don't even know how deep this goes.. but they penetrate into your skin with no effort. There gift is in spiking you with their mind, and leading you in with their heart.. They know how to entice you into doing for them and fitting to their needs.. You wont even blink an eye and yet wont even care. You'll just be glad to be in their presence is all. They have a special aura that most find pretty enchanting, and their souls spark a conversation one what makes them so unique.. because most people are mystified by them and begin to take notes.. but they will never know what that is to be exact. Which is what makes their seductive prowess just that damn good. It exists for them and them alone.. if they decide to share this with you consider yourself LUCKY.. Because they like you more than the rest, and who they are and how they carry themselves is a gift you when they want to share it.. Whew.. they'll really touch you in ways you won't forget.
I will post on the rest of them soon. Let me know in the comments how you feel about the nakshatras !!
#rohini#krittika#jytesha#astro vedic#vedic astrology#vedic astro notes#vedic astro observations#astrology sidereal#sidereal charts#sidereal astro#astro observations
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