#specifically here. mind you....can we go back to the caves where it's safe......

[the-weeping-dawn]

'............I walked right into that. I actually have no clue what I expected you to say. Good to know. That was mildly concerning.'

The maybe I might not mind being a mindflayer line/response my beloved. No one gets to think about touching it until that has happened.

[gin-juice-tonic]

So, while it's certainly not my intention to talk about pages of the bill book basically every day, it seems every time I write one post I end up thinking about something else. Here's the next something else.

This time it's these two pages. There are several things that are odd to me here. Not necessarily on their own, but when compared with the journal.

First and foremost, I want to use something that struck me here for a quick bit of doyalist analysis. (I know, I know.) Several people have said to me they didn't believe Alex had gone back and read through journal 3 again, and this could be a reason why things are so different and contradictory. But the thing is, these pages hold lines that are strikingly similar.

That top image is small, so I'm going to zoom in on what I mean. These are lines from that first book of bill page:

Here is a line from the "hiding places" page of journal 3:

and here is another line, from the page after this one:

You could argue that the thing about the caves is a plot point, and something Alex might've remembered. But part of Ford's motivation to get going to the caves so soon being the snowfall? Well, I certainly didn't remember that anyway. It's pretty a minute detail. Could its inclusion mean nothing? Maybe. But maybe not.

And if you read past my carefully placed initial highlighting, you'll also notice that lines inclusion is slightly different in the two versions.

Like I said, in journal 3, the pushing factor in getting Ford to make his trip with haste is worrying about the soon to be inclement weather.

But in the Book of Bill he mentions "little time". Why? Because of what's been written down on the previous page:

Im not going to paste the whole thing in here, because it's very heavy. But Ford has been given an express time limit by Bill.

Why then, is the snow even worth bringing up in the first place? I'm having a hard time getting the words together. But I just find it all very odd.

But the similarities between these pages and the ending of the first act of journal 3 aren't all I want to talk about. There's more differences than just the specifics of the snow line.

So, Differences:

This first one is small, but notable to me at least. On the matter of Fiddleford, here's what the Book of Bill had to say:

And here's what Journal 3 had to say:

Fiddleford being "gone" is a lot different from Fiddleford "refusing to speak" to Stanford. The former implying Ford couldn't reach out even if he wanted, the later implying he's made attempts that have failed.

And it's important to remember that the narrative is the Book of Bill pages were ripped out. Ford has written Fiddleford is missing, rips out the page, and decides upon next re-write that Fiddleford just isn't talking to him?

.

The next thing is a really big difference, and requires the addition of two more original Journal 3 pages. It also requires a new question to be asked: "Where do the two Bill pages I've shown fit within the journal?"

Here are the new pages that will be submitted into evidence added into this post:

Though I want to mainly focus on this second one,

The page where Ford's plan all starts to come together. It's worth noting this page comes before the "Hiding places" page I've shown before.

The order of events as laid out by Journal 3 are:

Ford goes to and escapes the truck stop and notices the twin motel sign, realizing he can contact Stan -> Ford lays out where he's going to hide the journals and that he's going to make the trek up to Bill's cave -> Ford fully discloses his plan to hand journal 1 off to Stan.

The Bill Book pages I've been discussing are directly after the page of Bill tormenting Ford within his mind. (Again, not going to post that page due to the subject matter). But we see that the top of the first page says "I awoke from the hallucination" so chronologically it's safe to assume there were also no non-missing pages in between them.

which means the order of events as laid out by the Book of Bill are:

Bill torments Ford within his mind -> Ford futilely searches for clues to Fiddlefords whereabouts -> Ford announces he must make his trip to the caves -> Ford realizes he must contact Stan.

The Bill book is stating "Ford came up with his plan first, and realized he needed to add Stan second."

The journal is stating "Ford was able to come up with his plan upon realizing Stan can help him."

These are very different ideas. And while it's framed in a bit of a cheesy way, I think that Journal 3's idea is very important. Despite everything stacked up against him at this point, Ford was able to keep going and come up with his plan upon realizing that he's not all alone. And specifically, working together with Stan has been the key to defeating Bill since the beginning.

If we are to take the Book of Bill's idea as truth, what of the trip to the truck stop diner and the twin motel sign? When is this supposed to have happened? Is it trying to claim it didn't at all? It's a bit silly, but I don't find it to be fake personally. Nor do I think Ford would have any reason to waste time and pages concocting a fake narrative at this point in his story. In both narratives, Bill is tormenting him every time he loses consciousness, he is exhausted from both the abuse and his general lack of sleep. He does not have time to spare.

But that's not the end.

This book of Bill page:

And this Journal page:

Are sort of paired off again, aren't they?

Supposedly, the "Should I contact S?" Bill page takes place before this journal page with the perpetual motion machine, as this page says Ford has already "Sent word to him".

Ford includes his own mini pros and cons list here, with notably more pros

There are also less cons. The idea Bill might get to Stan, or the idea Stan might destroy the portal no longer seem to be concerns.

Do the pages contradict? Well, not really aside from the order of events I've laid out. But that's sorta the thing, right?

Ultimately the two pages I've been discussing stand out to me because they're re-writes of things already in J3. Very similar except for the big hole of cutting out Ford's motel story.

Ford's supposedly on a mad 72 hour time-limit dash to make all his final arrangements to best Bill. He is at the end of his rope from the nonstop torment he's been subjected to. Does he really have both the time and the energy to be re-writing journal pages just because he didn't like them, let alone adding in entire new false narratives? And even if he does, why would he change it so that remembering Stan becomes the catalyst for his plan to outwit Bill?

[ladyniniane]

The worst Greek mythology retelling?

Unless you live in a cave (lucky you), you can't have escaped the wave of Greek mythology retellings. Some are bad, some are good and most of them are mediocre. Among those I've read, one was particularly bad and cringe and we are going to dissect it today.

PSA: As you can see, I didn't include the book's title in the post, nor use specific tags. This post is primarily aimed at me and my mutuals. If you disagree, feel free to block me and mask my username. You're the master of your ship and the only one who can curate your internet experience. Rude comments will be sent to the Tartarus blocked. And I mean, you aren't going to change my mind anyway so don't bother trying😎.

Now that we are done, let me introduce you to this book.

I already see some of you in the back rows being like "But Niniane, why did you bother with this? It's obviously going to be bad!". Well, sometimes I need things that are light and easy to read. Everyone needs to turn their brain off from time to time.

And besides, it looked inoffensive. The idea of modern women being isekaied during the Trojan War is fun. As a writer and enjoyer of OC fanfics, I absolutely love new takes and dynamics with existing characters.

Except that...it wasn't fun at all! Let's dive! And I hope you're prepared because it's gonna be a ride.

-So it starts with the goddesses being fed up with the Trojan War and male egos (Lego des Zhommes if you're French). They decide to find a way to stop the war. So far, so good.

-And their solution is to...send modern women back in time. Yeah, because they think that ancient-era women are too weak and meek. Only independent modern women will be able to handle those strong warriors:

"modern mortal women are different from ancient women [...] they're independent and smart and not used to bowing down and taking orders [...] maidens from the ancient world are not equipped to handle such a man, but I know that modern mortal women are different ---stronger, smarter, more independent."

Yes, you've read correctly.

First of all, it reeks of victim-blaming. If the Trojan women had been more assertive, they could have stopped this. It could have prevented them from being raped and enslaved! They just had to lean in and...Stop, stop. And I'm sorry but those ancient women are more equipped with dealing with that sort of men because they live with them every day. Idk the goddesses could have just...empowered the Trojan women so they could resist? Send the Amazons to help (with more success than in the original myths)? Give them a safe place where they could be protected?

-So, anyway, the heroine is transported in the body of a Trojan princess. But there is another problem. The heroine's friend who transmigrates with her is black. And she gets turned into a white woman. The reason? "Jacqueline’s lovely dark skin would be too hard to explain among the golden Greeks"(sic.). Here, we can see that the author didn't bother doing her research. Many stories regarding the Trojan War have an African king come to the Trojans' aid. The ancient world was furthermore interconnected. So yes, it would have been f*cking easy to explain. And to add insult to injury, our black woman turned white becomes the servant of the main character and is treated as her property.

-So anyway, MC becomes Achilles' war prize. And being a war prize is such a cool and fun life! You can wander around the camp, with no fear of being sexually assaulted!

-MC is a therapist and wants to try to help Achilles. She thus practices hypnosis on him and decides to have sex with him while he's still in that state. So, she basically rapes him. The worst thing: she knows it's wrong, but she does it anyway and she isn't sorry.

-Then, Achilles tells the MC that he has frequent bouts of berserk rage and that he even raped a woman. But he didn't mean to do it. Poor meow meow.

Needless to say, I stopped here. This wasn't fun, this was downright insensitive. The ending is predictable: MC ends up with Achilles and MC's best friend with Patroclus because no one can stay single!

Anyway, that was, imo, the worst Greek mythology retelling.

[ach-sss-no]

[In reference to this comic and more specifically this page. This is an AU where Gollum survives the War of the Ring]

you stepped on a land mine Gollum's speech patterns are interesting to me and I am using them intentionally but I'm assuming you don't want a whole 20-page dissertation about it. so I'll explain this, but I'll try to keep it brief

(Note: I'm only referencing the books for this post. All quoted sections are from The Two Towers by J.R.R Tolkien)

Anyway, Gollum does speak in the singular first person on occasion, and there's even a specific reason given that he does so:

`He lied on me, yes he did. I did escape, all by my poor self. Indeed I was told to seek for the Precious; and I have searched and searched, of course I have. But not for the Black One [Sauron]. The Precious was ours, it was mine I tell you. I did escape.' [...] [Frodo] noted that Gollum used I, and that seemed usually to be a sign, on its rare appearances. that some remnants of old truth and sincerity were for the moment on top.

That's the reason outright given by the text, and my own interpretation

~~we are now entering wobbly headcanon land~~

-is that Gollum also uses 'I' on occasions of stress or panic because [also my own interpretation, may be wrong] his unusual speech patterns are partly an intentional habit that he formed out of boredom because he was sitting in a cave for 500 years talking to himself. He can be shocked out of them, and he can also drop them when he's being serious.

Observe!

Yess. Yess. No! ' shrieked Gollum. 'Once, by accident it was, wasn't it, precious? Yes, by accident. But we won't go back, no, no!' Then suddenly his voice and language changed [He shifts to singular 1st person] `Leave me alone, gollum! You hurt me. O my poor hands, gollum! I, we, I don't want to come back. I can't find it. I am tired. I, we can't find it, gollum, gollum, no, nowhere. They're always awake.

As an aside, here he is swapping between 'I' and third-person. I've bolded/italicized to highlight the swaps

'Day is near,' he whispered, as if Day was something that might overhear him and spring on him. 'Sméagol will stay here: I will stay here, and the Yellow Face won't see me.' 'We should be glad to see the Sun;' said Frodo, 'but we will stay here: we are too tired to go any further at present.' 'You are not wise to be glad of the Yellow Face,' said Gollum. 'It shows you up. Nice sensible hobbits stay with Sméagol. Orcs and nasty things are about. They can see a long way. Stay and hide with me! '

Sméagol smells it! ' he said. 'Leaves out of the elf-country, gah! They stinks. He climbed in those trees, and he couldn't wash the smell off his hands, my nice hands.'

Now, to get back to why he is using first-person in the thing you actually asked about, the 'where am I', it's because he just woke up in a strange place and he's upset.

a moment later he realizes he is in a safe place with a safe person, stops panicking, and switches back to the more artificial speech pattern.

In general he will be using 'I' a little more often in the comic because this is post-canon and he's supposed to be improving/he's aware the 'we' is a little odd and off-putting and he's trying to cut back on it. the 'we' still slips out because it was such a long/ingrained habit.

you will also see:

Sméagol catching himself saying 'us' and clarifying that he actually does mean 'us'

Sméagol catching himself saying 'us,' correcting himself when he meant to say 'me'

The aim is 'Gollum is in an emotional/psychological/social situation he never encountered in canon. His speech patterns are known to shift depending on his state of mind, what he's communicating and who he's talking to. So he should in fact sound different four years post-war, but still be recognizably the same person (or else the appeal of the character is lost and i should consider original fic)'

So to answer your question:

[ealvara7]

Lydia's School Project 📷

Recently, I had been thinking about some story concepts that I would like to see in a potential musical cartoon for Beetlejuice. One that kept coming back to mind was the idea of Lydia working on a modification project for her camera. Specifically, she has been trying to create a filter lens that can make ghosts visible when taking pictures.

It was originally a personal project. However, due to school work taking up a majority of her time, she hasn't been able to work on it properly...

…until spring came by.

-

Near the end of each year, students must work on a project which they then have to present at the high school's fare. The subject of said project is entirely up to each student.

Lydia sees this as the perfect opportunity to turn her personal project into a school one-

Is It Possible to Capture the Dead?

Most of Lydia's classmates thought that she was being ridiculous. Regardless, she was ecstatic at the opportunity continue working on a lens that will finally capture the Maitlands in photo form.

There's only one problem...

Lydia has been stuck in the same stage of her project for months now.

While she doesn't expect this project to be finished by the school's deadline, she wants to at least make some kind of progress. Something that could help her string this school project together...

"Hey, Lyds! What'cha working on?"

"I've been studying how light refraction works in order to create a camera lens that could make ghosts visible. Also, I told you to knock before coming into the dark room."

"Wait... you *seriously* think that you could make some kind of ghost-seeing lens by just sticking some colored glass to your camera?"

"HAHAHA!"

"Alright then, genius! Clearly you know something that I don't! Why don't you enlighten me, then?!"

Beetlejuice goes on to explain that ghosts do not follow the same laws of physics as "breathers" do. In order for Lydia's camera to even remotely have a shot of capturing the dead, she would need to try using something that can only be found in the Netherworld.

"You mean... there's *more* than just an abyss in the Netherworld...?"

"There's a lot my mom doesn't want you to know."

The two journey back into the Netherworld, where Beetlejuice brings Lydia to a specific spot and holds out a key.

With it, he tears through the void, creating a door which he then opens to reveal the Underworld - a world of complete chaos, where the dead party and never rest.

These kinds of things usually do not bother Lydia, but there was something about the Underworld that felt... wrong. Very wrong.

"Are... you sure this is safe...? It looks as if I go in here, I can never come back out."

"Well.... I dunno about *safe*, but I promised your dad that I would bring you back home in one piece, and I intend to keep that promise."

Lydia takes a deep breath and follows Beetlejuice into the Underworld.

The air felt strangely heavy for her, almost as if she couldn't breathe... but she continues moving onward. After looking around for some time, Lydia and Beetlejuice are able to find a small cave containing a couple of different colored gemstones. Lydia notices a couple of green ones she believes could work well for her project.

Turns out, the Underworld is not as bad as it appeared to be. Sure, it was chaotic, but most of the people residing in it were pretty friendly. It also seemed like everyone was having a good time, as opposed to the Netherworld... where everyone appeared to be miserable.

There's only one catch.

Before Lydia could continue moving towards another section filled with red gemstones. She notices her hands beginning to disappear.

"Uh, Beetlejuice?!"

"Shit! We gotta get you out of here!"

Fortunately, Beetlejuice had enough time to carry Lydia back out to the Netherworld... where it appeared as if nothing ever happened to her.

"I guess... since you're not actually dead, you're not allowed to stay there for too long."

"Well... at least it's good to know it's not permanent."

Back home, Lydia, with Beetlejuice's help forging the gemstones, tests out her new lens on the Maitlands. Apart from Beetlejuice photobombing the first picture, her new lens were an absolute success.

"Sooo.... how're you gonna explain this to your school?"

"I'm not. I thought I could, but it turns out you were right - ghosts do not abide by our laws of physics."

"I guess I'm gonna have to bullshit it. It might take me some time, but I'll figure something out."

While Lydia is reviewing her new photos... she notices that Beetlejuice came out as a big, scary looking shadow in each of the images he's in.

"Woah... that is so cool! But... I don't get it... Is it because you're a demon?"

"Bingo. Demons work a little differently from ghosts, so *obviously* that's gonna apply to cameras, too."

As excited she is to share the new images of her ghost friends to her class, including the ones with Beetlejuice, she wanted to take her project a step further.

Then, it struck her.

"Hey, Beetlejuice... do you remember those red gemstones that I was looking at back in the Underworld?"

"Yeah... why?"

"I need you to do a favor for me..."

"Say no more."

The sheer amount of horror in her classmates' faces as they saw her project was priceless. It put such a huge smile on her face.

The red gemstone lens was not perfect by any means - Beetlejuice still looked a bit blurry in photos, but it was easily the best one when it comes to capturing everyone in one image.

Despite terrifying the entire school with her project, she did get an A+.

[abyssalzones]

favorite deep sea creature?

sorry this one took so long to answer. it's also very long. but I feel like you knew what you were getting into when you asked tumblr user "abyssalzones" what his favorite deep sea creature is.

now immediately my mind jumped to coelacanths because they're among my favorite fish Ever for a multitude of reasons, such as (but not limited to):

-their mystique (their fossilized ancestors were initially discovered in the 19th century, and due to their illusive nature were thought to have gone extinct at the end of the Cretaceous period until one was found alive by an unknown(?) fisherman off the coast of South Africa, and from there the discovery was accredited to museum curator Marjorie Courtenay-Latimar who spotted it in the day's catch. however it's worth mentioning fishermen in the eastern South African region may have known about the species before then. kind of a 'who can say if it wasn't written down' situation.)

-their beautiful blueness (others have waxed poetic about their appearance more skillfully than I, but just look at this guy. wow. albeit I have to wonder if how blue they appear is very dependent on lighting but whatever he's beautiful)

-and, finally, their importance as lobe-finned fish! (the two extant species of Coelacanth today- alongside lungfish, who are also incredibly cool- hold a unique position in taxonomy and evolutionary history as the only living non-tetrapod sarcopterygians that we know of ^_^ they used to be much more dominant as freshwater predators, but then the great dying came along and they suffered a significant decline. so, essentially, these guys are survivors! ...if you felt it necessary to frame it as such. and "sarcopterygian" more specifically describes them as belonging to the clade 'Sarcopterygii', which classifies them as lobe-finned bony fish. this contrasts the other clade of bony fish, Actinopterygii, which describes ray-finned bony fish. in essence, they are the great-great-great-great-ad-nauseum-grandparents of all tetrapods! very very important animals from a grander biological perspective.)

...however, after typing all of this out, I realize this is a little bit of a cop-out. Coelacanths, as cool as they are, are actually not the deepest of deep-sea fish. It's difficult to get the exact numbers on their whereabouts as, previously stated, they're pretty elusive guys, but generally during the daytime they're found about 100-500 meters deep, resting in caves and saving their energy for nocturnal reef-feeding. apparently they've been found to migrate deeper as well, but it still feels a little disingenuous (to me) to say that they're truly deep-sea animals.

...so if I want to live up to my username, I need to take you on a journey. to the abyssal zone. where you will find some truly terrifying, near-alien creatures, straight from the pits of Dante Alighieri's visions of hell, or Hieronymus Bosch's bizarre garden of earthly delights...!

no, not that guy! get him out of here. shoo.

Instead we're going to be talking about his big brother. his... very, very big brother.

okay so chances are you've seen this photo before, it circulates quite a bit online as "BIG FUCKING SCARY THING IN THE OCEAN" and it's pretty apparent why, but I'm incredibly fond of "Scary fucking thing in the ocean" in general, and as such I think this guy is delightful. I debated on picking a couple of different, lesser-known species from the abyssal-hadal range (such as various arctic amphipods), but if I'm honest I have a soft spot for cephalopods. typical, typical I know, I should be ashamed, but in this case I can safely say the Bigfin squid (genus Magnapinna) is anything but "typical".

oh, sure, there's a level of wonder healthily exacerbated by the rarity of sightings- but that's all we have! sightings and footage! well, that and washed-up corpses dating back to 1883, all being damaged juveniles that were never properly collected. even so, their significance and oddity isn't really made apparent until you see their adult form, which first came to science's attention properly in 2001 when some very grainy footage was captured by an oil drilling ship, the Milennium Explorer, in the gulf of Mexico.

he's shy.

I say "first came to science's attention" because the Bigfin had actually been recorded prior, all the way back to 1998, but no one had really gotten up out of their chair and started dancing around at the realization of holy shit, what is this thing? and from there further work was done on properly identifying and analyzing the species based on footage.

however... it's still just footage. there has not yet been a captured live specimen, nor a well-preserved cadaver, or... really anything to tell us more about this mysterious cephalopod, other than what we can tell visually and geographically. we know it sure looks distinctive compared to various species of squid (check out the elbows on that thing), we know the largest adult specimens seem to be about 25 feet long (with estimates going up to 40 feet), and we know it might be the deepest-occurring genus of squid (we've had sightings as deep as 6,212 meters below the surface- well into the hadal zone, actually, not just the abyssopelagic), but in terms of behavior? breeding? feeding habits?? there are a lot of unanswered questions. and that's not to discredit any legitimate scientific analysis, past or present, of the bigfin, but moreso to stress that it's a very mysterious creature we don't have much data on.

I think just in general, my favorite deep-sea creatures (and this extends to just about any species, sea-dwelling or otherwise) are those that do a very thorough job of not being found. I am driven by a deep curiosity into whatever is so weird and leads such an unimaginable life to us humans that it eludes the microscope or the scalpel time and time again.

oh, and bigfin squids kind of remind me of the alien controllers that fly around your head during the xen levels in half-life. so there's that as well.

[death-and-other-myths]

The Raven King Deadass Book Review

By Maggie Stiefvater

Alright, here we go. The final book in the series!! AHUAGUAGH

This is an unhinged book review/recap of The Raven King, and I am not okay.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

We kick things off with a prologue about our king (Gansey). And why he is the way he is. And how he’s obsessed with Glendower because he’s never quite been able to wrap his mind around why he was saved. What are the odds that while he was lying there covered in hornets, at the same exact moment, Noah was being murdered, and the leyline decided to save Gansey. We also learn that he has more or less put together what was going on in that voice recording from Book 1. He knows that spirits appear on the leyline on St. Mark’s Eve. And he knows that hearing his voice announcing his name probably means he’s fated to die. 

OH GOD BABY. HE KNOWS!!

Chapter 1 gives us this great scene with all of the women in 300 Fox Way crowded around the table drinking. They decide to do a group reading. So they retrieve Artemus from the closet lol. Apparently he has some REAL BAD PTSD and has been hiding there since they got out of the cave, and he’s super jumpy around Gwenllian. She’s pissed at him for locking her in the cave for 600 years. The psychics all sit in a circle and pull a single card – the Tower. Which basically means the stability of their world is about to come under attack. Then they do this neat thing where they reshuffle and lay ALL of their cards out, and it tells them a story. It tells them that these 4 kids have to work together and use all of their various magical abilities. 

They mention that Blue ran away some time last year and had to be brought back by the police. They’re trying to find a way to save Gansey, too. But so far it’s not looking good. Maura says some cryptic stuff like “Does this mean she’s still alive? Does this mean she’s going to leave? Does this mean she’s coming back?” pointing to various cards. Calla says “Probably” to all of this. (I think she’s talking about Neeve). This chapter ends with Maura asking Artemius “Man what’s up with you? Why are you so jumpy?” (but like, in a nicer way)

MEANWHILE, at school, Gansey is pissed because Ronan is skipping class again. Something is going on with Gansey and the principal. It started in the last book. They’re having secret meetings and when Adam asks about it, Gansey just says he doesn’t want to fight. I think he’s going some Gansey shit he’s not proud of and bargaining to keep Ronan from being expelled. Adam, who has a tendency to fade in and out of psychic states, feels a little woozy for a second– and he knows it’s because someone is pulling energy from the leyline. He has a pretty good idea of what Ronan is up to.

Ronan… is a Disney princess. Lol He LOVES going out to the barns and doing farm stuff and dream stuff. He hangs out with DEER and woodland creatures and checks them for ticks and wounds. Like half the animals on the property are dream animals, including this really beautiful stag that is on the cover of the dang book so I’m sure he’s significant in some way. 

Alright so he’s dreaming with a mission. He wants to try to dream up some object to keep Gansey safe (so sweet how protective he is). I guess Adam told him about the St. Mark’s Day thing? Or maybe he’s still looking for a solution to the hornet thing. Alright so he’s dreaming, and he’s dreaming up a suit of armor that is invisible and feather light (like cloth) but before he can reach it, a nightmare is coming on. The little Orphan Girl is there and throws herself on him just before the nightmare can get him, and just before he wakes up. 

Meanwhile, Blue is home because she got kicked out of school lol. We don’t yet know the specifics, but she emptied a boy’s backpack over the hood of his car. The last time a boy tried to ask her out, she just stared at him until he walked away. So Blue is going through some stuff. She’s in love with a boy who is going to die soon. Her Dad came back, but won’t stop hiding in the pantry. And one of her aunts passed away. 

Quick sidebar? I love how no one gives a shit that Kavinsky died. I mean I don’t love it. It’s actually kind of sad. He was a tragic, broken person. But it reminds me of Valerian in the Cruel Prince. Everyone is just like “Hey remember that guy that threw the 4th of July party? Wonder what happened to him. OH WELL!”

Noah shows up while she’s sulking and is SUPER HYPER. Talking a mile a minute about nonsense. They’re interrupted by Gwen who is in the tree, and she says some hurtful shit to Noah calling him “dead thing”. Noah says he needs to show Blue something, and he stands up, and stops pulling energy from her. So we see what he ACTUALLY looks like. The actual state of his soul. And he looks like a decaying corpse. He says he’s scared. We get the feeling he’s not ready to move on to the afterlife, and Blue continues to be a supportive friend even though he’s FUCKING terrifying.

Well the boys come pick Blue up and Gansey is in full on Mom mode, pissed at Ronan for skipping school. But Gansey is also all wound up and excited. Adam is there, in a good mood and wearing the really cute combo of a white shirt and rolled down overalls. I think it’s a cute detail how he turns in the front seat so his hearing ear faces the back. They pass Henry Cheng, who is out with a few other boys protesting Aglionby lol. Before they drive off, Henry tells Gansey that his “tail light is showing” and Ronan turns to the furthest most back seat and goes “stay down!” — that’s at this point that we discover there is a tiny child hiding in the back seat. And she has hooves for feet. Orphan Girl!!

So they decide to take her to Cabeswater. These teens. I swear. We’re resurrecting witches. Framing people. Burying bodies. Birthing small children into existence. These kids are 17 going on 52.

There is a CUTE fucking scene with the gang walking through Cabeswater. The orphan girl starts a song with the birds, and then the whole forest sings along with them. When Gansey puts his hands in the air to catch falling leaves, they turn into fish that swim around them to the music. Each person adds another layer of sound to the song, not with their mouths, but with their thoughts, and the forest amplifies it. There is a super cute part where Adam is feeling the crushing weight of sad Adam thoughts. And the forest is in his brain, so it’s trying to cheer him up. It shows him how other people see him, and how much they care about him and love him and think his smile is the best. He gives in and lets himself feel happy, and when he does, a thundering bass is added to the song. It sounds exactly like Ronan’s car. Everyone is looking around, laughing, like “Who did that? RONAN!” And Ronan goes “It’s not me!” And looks at Adam, who has a little smile on his face. And Ronan pauses for a moment and then smirks the most genuine, appreciative smile. 

Adam and Ronan are into each other and it is the cutest fucking…. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Orphan girl is scared despite being in the real world like she wanted and meeting Aurora who is an actual, actual Disney Princess. Aurora says she wants to show them all something. And that something is a tree that has some kind of disease. Like black sap. Ronan, earlier, was telling his mom that the nightmare he felt in his dream was unlike any other nightmare he’d ever experienced. He said it felt dead. Like decaying. This tree gives everyone the heebie jeebies. 

Then out of fucking NOWHERE the three identical witch-Blues from the tapestry start walking through the forest and chanting “Make way for the raven king.”

Adam is like “Ah sorry, my bad. It was a nightmare I had and I accidentally thought about it and Cabeswater made it real.” — Adam asks Cabeswater to take the scary women away. Everything they touch is dying. Ronan tries. Then Blue runs to grab Gansey’s hand and he knows what he’s supposed to do. When Gansey orders them to go away, they do. Gansey’s magical ability is speaking/wishing things into reality. But he really doesn’t understand it yet. 

There’s a few things going on: The Gansey’s are planning some sort of fundraiser at the school. And I think orphan girl is going to stay with Aurora. SOME fucking evil force is messing with Cabeswater, but we don’t know what it is yet (probably whatever Neeve and Piper woke up in the cave). Oh also, Blue and Adam talked about meeting up to discuss the Gansey situation. Adam isn’t sure if this means she’s going to confess she loves him or if she means talking about his imminent death.

And I’m going to copy and paste this adorable part because I love it:

[they’re looking at the tree and how fucking dead it is]

“It reminds me of Noah,” Blue said. “Decaying.” 

Her voice was so melancholy that Gansey was struck all at once by what he and Blue really lost by keeping their relationship a secret. Blue radiated psychic energy for others, but touch was where she gained hers back. She was always hugging her mother or holding Noah’s hand or linking her elbow in Adam’s or resting her boots on Ronan’s legs as they sat on the sofa. Touching Gansey’s neck just between his hair and his collar. This worry in her tone demanded fingers braided together, arms on shoulders, cheeks rested against chests. 

But because Gansey was too cowardly to tell Adam about falling in love with her, she had to stand there with her sadness by herself. Aurora took Blue’s hand. Shame diffused through him, black as the tree sap. 

Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your time?

Blue comes home and yells at her Dad in the closet for a little bit. She calls him a coward. Then she goes upstairs to find Calla, Maura, and Orla in the bathtub together, fully clothed, with Jimi on the toilet with a candle. The talk with her mom and aunties is really cute. They talk about Gansey. And how Blue loves him. And how she’s going to have to come to grips with his death, and plan for her life beyond that moment, and have an open heart to travel and be in love with a new person some day. Blue insists she’s never going to kiss Gansey, so maybe that’ll help. 

Alright, so in the next chapter we meet THIS book’s villian(s) and as usual, they are delightful and multidimensional. They are 3 triplets named Laumonier, guys. Older. But very rich. And they all go by Laumonier because they’re kind of like a hive mind. And they hate their rival, Colin Greenmantle. They’re standing around Boston when one of them gets POSSESSED by Piper of all people. It’s here we discover that one of the Laumonier triplets is Piper’s FATHER and she reveals that she’s tangled up in some dark shit that will make everyone rich, and she hates Colin now and wants to take him down. Laumonier is both horrified by her newfound ability to possess people and delighted that she found something magical in Henrietta. She says tell all our rich friends to get over here. 

Gansey can’t sleep, so he drives to Aglionby and does laps in the dark. I love how Maggie describes the weightlessness of swimming. It’s exactly how it is. I couldn’t imagine doing it in the DARK though. Noah stands on the edge of the pool and watches him. 

Adam is at work plagued by thoughts of the orphan girl and the fear in her eyes. He relates to it so much. When he gets in his car something WEIRD happens and his hand moves by itself. It skitters across the wheel without him telling it to. He asks Cabeswater if that was it, and it doesn’t reply. 

Meanwhile, Ronan is having a dream. It’s a memory of being a kid with long curly hair and playing with Gansey in the sprinkler. But the dream goes south pretty fast and turns into a nightmare that is basically about everyone he loves dying horrific deaths and he wakes up SOBBING. He calls his brother Matthew in the dorms just to hear his voice.

This chapter ends with a freaky paragraph about a dark force bubbling outside of Henriette, getting excited thinking “I’m awake. I’m awake. I’m awake” — OH GOD NO LEAVE OUR BOYS ALONE!!!!!

The next day is RAVEN DAY at Aglionby which I think is like a field day. The boys split up into teams and have war games and eat food and have fun. There’s a brief speech from Noah’s SISTER about how NOAH CZERNCY actually founded Raven day because of a dream he had about thousands of colorful flying ravens?? (Another part of the day is each class makes a ton of paper ravens and… throws them around I guess lol) Noah’s sister describes him as hyper. Adam and Gansey are working as “ushers” for this portion of the event, and Gansey notices Adam messing with his eye. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom to look at it, and Gansey joins the crowd out on the lawn. 

The Aglionby band is playing. Some kind of game is happening. We get this beautiful but TERRIFYING scene where Gansey is kind of swallowed up by the chaos. He’s having a waking nightmare, like a panic attack. Among the shoulders bumping around him and little paper ravens and noise, he keeps thinking insects are buzzing by his face and he can feel hornets on his skin. He’s trying to keep it together because this is a fundraiser that his family helped organize and it’s not a good look to have a panic attack in the middle of it. Henry Cheng saves him with a cup of ice water, which brings him back to reality. Then he invites him to his toga party that night. 

ADAM. MEANWHILE. Okay fuck this scene. MEANWHILE Adam is in the bathroom by the theater which is extra old and spooky and dark. And there is something SUPER WRONG WITH HIS EYE. It is moving on its own, independently from the other, and when it quits doing that and looks at him, this dark shadow starts swallowing the room. He asks Cabeswater to help him, but the forest is slow to respond. It tells him to turn on the sinks and when the water hits the floor, it cuts through the darkness. Adam is like, literally on the sink scared as shit. 

OH FUCK THIS DEMON!!

Blue is at work when Adam comes by looking like shit and soaked in water. He tells her something is wrong with Cabeswater and asks if she wants to go to the forest with him later. She says she’s going to that toga party and asks if he and Ronan are going. He says no. And they totally get into a fight, because Adam is like “You and Gansey are together, aren’t you? And you didn’t tell me cause you thought I’d freak out.” And I mean… that’s true. They kind of got together when Adam was slowly going insane. But it’s hard to say that. Adam’s mad about that, but he’s also mad about Blue’s cursed lips and he doesn’t want Gansey to die lol. Bad fight. Doesn’t end well. 

We get a flashback to how Maura, Calla, and Persephone met, which is that they were all hitchhiking. Maura is driving around with Gray because she has a bad feeling. They make their way to Colin and Piper’s rental house, which is SUPER CREEPY. Everything feels dark and haunted. They find Noah in the bathroom all crumpled up and freaky and… Piper is written on the mirror in lipstick and there’s a scrying bowl. Maura takes Noah home to the psychics and everyone is generally horrified and impressed that his soul is still here, and looks like shit. Noah doesn’t remember how he got in that house and the psychics think he could be a “Portent” (an omen/messenger). 

Noah says he’s a mirror. That’s also what Gwen and Blue call themselves. Is he also an amplifier?? Calla says he can stay with them. 

Blue and Gansey arrive at the Toga party and it’s not going well. Henry is pretty cute and amicable but she’s in a terrible mood and is pretty judgmental of these rich boys. Come on Blue, loosen up!! 

Next chapter starts with Ronan going to see Adam and Maggie gives us this heartstopping nonsense:

Adam lived in an apartment located above the office of St. Agnes Catholic Church, a fortuitous combination that focused most of the objects of Ronan’s worship into one downtown block.

Yep Chapter 18 is basically the Adam and Ronan show and I fucking love it. Look at this!!

When he pulls up, Adam is in front of his car headlights looking at tarot cards on the ground and kind of zonked out. He’s present enough to hold a hand up to Ronan as if to say “wait” though.

Ronan crossed his arms to wait, just looking. At Adam’s fine cheekbones, his furrowed fair eyebrows, his beautiful hands, everything washed out by the furious light. He had memorized the shape of Adam’s hands in particular: the way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins; the large knuckles that punctuated his long fingers. In dreams Ronan put them to his mouth. His feelings for Adam were an oil spill; he’d let them overflow and now there wasn’t a damn place in the ocean that wouldn’t catch fire if he dropped a match.

Adam stands and Ronan is like “What’s up with your eyes?” — his pupils are still the size of pin drops. And Adam says “It takes me a while to come back.” And Ronan goes “Creepy fucker.”

Adam tells him the story of his eye and hand going nuts.

He allowed Ronan to lean in to compare his eyes — close enough that Ronan felt his breath on his cheek — and he allowed Ronan to study the palm of his hand. The latter was not strictly necessary, and they both knew it, but Adam watched Ronan closely as he lightly traced the lines there.

They hatch a plan to let Adam scry while Ronan drives  and he’s going to try to stay present enough to direct him. Cabeswater is holding him at an arm’s length, so they’re going to try to see what’s wrong. Fucking great chapter. 

19 is great too, honestly. We’re with Adam drifting through the ether, and the way Maggie describes it is like accurately describing a dream. Just disjointed and rambling. One word keeps coming up, and that is DEMON. Adam figures out there’s some relationship between that word and Cabeswater, and the demon is inside. Adam is whispering directions to Ronan while he drifts, and Ronan finally wakes him up to reveal that he’s led them to his old trailer. Robert Parrish is on the porch and they have themselves a stare down. Apparently Robert didn’t have to go to jail, but he is on probation. Adam says let’s get out of here. I want to find the orphan girl.

Back to the toga party! Blue loosens up and totally gets along with the Vancouver boys in their bougie Victorian house. They get along well enough that they agree to put on togas and change in a bedroom (and Blue may or may not have peeked). Gansey is really enjoying himself, and the fact he can openly flirt with Blue because Ronan and Adam aren’t there. 

Here, he could play his fingers over her fingers as they stood close, she could lean her cheek on his bare shoulder, he could hook his ankle playfully in hers, she could catch herself with an arm around his waist. Here he was unbelievably greedy for that laugh.

Aughahahghgh me sobbing. This party is so cute. They have a great time. And then there’s THIS:

It was Gansey stepping aside to let her pass, but changing his mind. He caught her arm and then the rest of her. She was warm, alive, vibrant beneath the thin cotton; he was warm, alive, vibrant beneath his. Blue slid her hand over his bare shoulder and then onto his chest, her palm spread out flat on his breastbone, her fingers pressed curiously into his skin. 

I thought you would be hairier, she whispered. 

Sorry to disappoint. The legs have a bit more going on. 

Mine too. 

It was this: laughing senselessly into each other’s skin, playing, until it was abruptly no longer play, and Gansey stopped himself with his mouth perilously close to hers, and Blue stopped herself with her belly pressed close to his. It was this: Gansey saying, “I like you an awful lot, Blue Sargent.”

And the chapter ends with Gansey saying he’s never felt so known, and so present, in his entire life. Sweet. Baby. Boy.

Back in Cabeswater, we get several huge revelations. First of all, the forest is definitely sick. Everything is gloomy and dark and haunted. Secondly, Adam deduces that Ronan DREAMED Cabeswater. But it’s complicated. He didn’t invent it. It really did exist long ago, but it got destroyed. So he brought it back. There really were once magical leyline forests, Ronan just gave this one shape.

They find Orphan Girl and everything is just off. The forest is possessed and it’s getting worse. 

Adam keeps feeling massive drops in energy, so much so at one point it feels like his heart stops. Orphan Girl falls into a pool and Ronan goes in after her, only once he’s in the water, he realizes it’s FUCKING ACID from a nightmare he had once. SO. GREAT. He dives down to get the girl, and they’re both thinking they’re going to die, but then a bunch of branches and vines push them out safely onto shore. They look back and realize that it wasn’t Cabeswater that saved them. It’s Adam. He’s arranged some rocks on the edge of the pool and is trapped in some kind of psychic state until the girl kicks the rocks away. He’s able to snap out of it, but is not looking good. Orphan Girl says we need to get him out of here. 

There’s something about the time 6:21. It keeps coming up. 

Blue and Gansey get home to 300 Fox Way and it’s like a horror show. The darkness is in the house. All the psychics are suspended in some kind of nightmare. Just being in the space makes Blue and Gansey feel terrified. Noah is being piloted by something and he keeps fighting through it to tell them to run, but then goes back to whatever evil thing is inside of him. He attacks Blue and CLAWS AT HER FACE until Gansey pulls her away and asks for her energy. I think she’s bleeding. She slams her hand into his and he uses whatever mysterious king magic he has to say “BE. NOAH.” And he stops.

Meanwhile, in Boston, Piper appears with black eyes in a mirror and murders her husband with black wasps. So. Okay, that’s horrible. 

Next chapter. WELL FUCK. THE THIRD SLEEPER WAS A DEMON AND THE DEMON LOOKS LIKE A HORNET SO….. GREAT! JUST FUCKING GREAT. Piper and Neeve are partners and want to help the demon hornet destroy Cabeswater so they can get their wish: to be famous and successful. Assholes.

When Ronan and Adam get to the urgent care center, Gansey is covered in blood and has his face in his hands. The painting above him is leaking water, but literally no one cares. That would have been a major plot point in book one. We have way bigger fish to fry, people. 

Okay but in all seriousness, is this Gansey’s magic making that happen? If so, it’s both cool and sweet. 

Blue comes out and she has 2 stitches on her eyebrow and three huge scars over her eye down to her cheek. Gansey and the boys get into an argument. He’s pissed that they went to Cabeswater without telling him when shit is all corrupted and dangerous. He’s terrified that they could have been hurt (and I guess they were). And while everyone is getting everything out on the table, he confesses that he and Blue are seeing each other and want to continue seeing each other. And after airing out the truth, everyone is totally cool. Ronan is even really sweet and tells Blue that her stitches look badass. Adam is fine with their relationship (probably because he’s falling for Ronan haha). The gang is back together!!!

We check in on Declan and learn that Nial Lynch built his fortune by dreaming up magical objects and selling them to Greenmantle, the Lemonieurs, and another Korean lady dealer named Seondeok. Seondeok gives Declan a call to say “Hey word on the street is there’s something hella magical in Henrietta and Greenmantle is out of the picture so tons of ‘wolves’ are coming your way.” — I think it’s cool that Ronan’s Dad built a business off dreaming up crazy shit, then selling it to buyers who THINK they’re getting some ancient, magical sword that bleeds… but it’s just… dream stuff. Pretty cool. Anyway Declan is like “oh shit i need to get my brothers out of there”

HENRY. Okay. WHO THE FUCK IS HENRY? First of all… he’s interesting because he speaks a lot like Gansey. They both talk like old men. Or poets. They both radiate positivity and have a lot more going on than their surface-level perfection. Henry pulls Gansey aside at school and is like “Hey wanna see something cool before lunch?” And takes him to the basement where there’s a little hole in the ground. Barely big enough for both of them to stand in. 

And it’s in said hole that Henry tells Gansey the sad story of the time he was kidnapped when he was 10 and his mom didn’t want to negotiate with terrorists or something, so he spent a couple days in a hole like this and has been dealing with it ever since. Gansey is like whoa dude… I’m sorry that happened, but why are you telling me this? And Henry asks how old Gansey was when he got stung by all those bees. He says he was 10 too. He’s like “I’ve waited my whole life to be strong enough to face this fear. Do you trust me? Hold out your hand.” And he puts… a fucking… insect…into Gansey’s hand. And that’s the end of the chapter. My heart stopped.

Henry gives this truly beautiful speech about how… fear is just fear. Think about what’s on the other side of it. Gansey’s heart is about to explode. Then it’s revealed that the bee is a ROBO BEE. Henry shows him the app that controls it and everything. Gansey is sharp enough to know that technology like that doesn’t actually exist… and Henry reveals that this is a dream object that his MOTHER purchased from Declan Lynch. Gansey gains a new ally in a weird hole that speaks like he does and knows magic when he sees it. Henry knows about the Lynch family’s dream powers. He noticed the orphan girl in the car. And he saw the way Adam exploded that concrete with his thoughts. Henry doesn’t want anything, he just wants to be friends and help.

Ronan goes to school and hates it. Declan is trying to call him. Blah blah. Look at this cute fucking part:

Ronan wrenched his tie loose. “You working after school?” 

“With a dreamer.” He held Ronan’s gaze over his locker door. 

School had improved. 

Adam gently closed his locker. “I’m done at four thirty. If you’re up for brainstorming some repair of your dream forest. Unless you have homework.” 

“Asshole,” Ronan said. 

Adam smiled cheerily. Ronan would start wars and burn cities for that true smile, elastic and amiable.

Holy shit it’s true. Adam very rarely smiles in these books. Oh my god I love these two.

Well Declan shows up after school and has Matthew in the car. Asks Ronan to join them. Tells him the whole truth about their father, how he was dealing with some really shady people and was the one to tell them about the Greywaren. His arrogance got him killed, building up this hype about a magical object that was actually him. Declan begs Ronan to run away with him and Matthew. Burn down the barns and start a new life. Ronan just says to take Matthew and run, because this is his home. 

Blue is at school realizing she has mixed feelings about relating to no one in her actual high school, and only making friends with Aglionby boys who used to be her sworn enemies. So it’s the perfect time for Henry to roll up in his crazy car. Some of her classmates give her a hard time, so Henry is like “I’m serious about going to Venezuela with you. If you want, you can yell at me and make a big scene so they don’t think we’re dating.” — which is cute. She takes him up on that and Henry sells the rebuked rich boy a little too well. He leaves theatrically. Her reputation is restored. 

So next, Gansey pulls up and is like “Ronan actually used a phone and says he needs us. We gotta go.” Blue is like “Oh shit.”

I was worried. Turns out Ronan just wanted everyone out at the barns for a going away party. He wanted one last friend/family gathering in the place he loves before he sends Declan and Matthew off to another city and fights a demon that may or may not kill him. 

I love this chapter. It is chapter 33. There’s a little bit of Ronan and Adam staring at each other pointedly. But mostly everyone just being happy. Playing with balloons. Eating cupcakes. Grilling out. Ronan and Declan actually getting along now that the truth of their past has come out. Ronan asks Adam to look in Matthew’s room for tin foil, and Adam meanders upstairs, getting lost in his thoughts like he always does. 

He finds a photo of Nial and Aurora and is struck by how much young Nial looks like Ronan. 

He finds Ronan’s room and finds a little model car and recalls a painful memory from his childhood. Where he used $10 his grandma gifted him to buy a similar toy for himself, and he was playing with it when he heard his father in the other room say he regretted having Adam. And his mom fucking agreed. GOD, FUCK THESE PEOPLE. Ronan comes in and sits on the bed beside him. OKAY JUST READ IT:

They sat like that for a few minutes, as Ronan examined the car and turned each wheel to play a different tune. Adam watched how intently Ronan studied the seams, his eyelashes low over his light eyes. Ronan let out a breath, put the model down on the bed beside him, and kissed Adam.

Then there’s a beautiful scene with Adam remembering a time when he was mowing the lawn and he saw a rainstorm coming from far away. And he didn’t go inside, he just let the wall of water hit him.

That was this kiss. They kissed again. Adam felt it in more than his lips. 

Ronan sat back, his eyes closed, swallowing. Adam watched his chest rise and fall, his eyebrows furrow. He felt as bright and dreamy and imaginary as the light through the window. He did not understand anything. 

It was a long moment before Ronan opened his eyes, and when he did, his expression was complicated. He stood up. He was still looking at Adam, and Adam was looking back, but neither said anything. Probably Ronan wanted something from him, but Adam didn’t know what to say. He was a magician, Persephone had said, and his magic was making connections between disparate things. 

Only now he was too full of white, fuzzy light to make any sort of logical connections. He knew that of all the options in the world, Ronan Lynch was the most difficult version of any of them. He knew that Ronan was not a thing to be experimented with. He knew his mouth still felt warm. He knew he had started his entire time at Aglionby certain that all he wanted to do was get as far away from this state and everything in it as possible. He was pretty sure he had just been Ronan’s first kiss. 

“I’m gonna go downstairs,” Ronan said.

I was NOT expecting this. I didn’t see any spoilers about this at all (actually, I’ve avoided all Raven King spoilers). I am GUT PUNCHED by how beautiful this is. Holy heck. These two are just amazing. Ronan loves Adam soooooo much. Adam, who has been love starved, his entire life, has someone that literally worships him. I am so, so happy for him. AUGHAUGHUAGH I read this late at night, so I couldn’t scream. But I wanted to scream. 

Later that night, Declan and Ronan have a moment on the roof. It’s really sweet and I’m glad they patched things up. Declan was only ever trying to protect Ronan from the hole their father dug for them. Ronan gifts him with a dream artifact that shoots harmless fireworks and light. 

Neeve regrets getting tangled up with Piper and the demon in the pursuit of power. Piper is totally nuts and thinks she can sell this demon like any other magical artifact to the hoard of people coming to Henrietta. Neeve scries to try to warn Maura and the psychics, and is able to get the message out before Piper tells the demon to kill her. 

Declan and Matthew hit the road, so now it’s the main gang in the living room at the Barns hatching a plan for how to take down the demon. Also there’s lots of cute bits with Gansey and Blue acting like a proper couple (her head on his lap. Him touching her hair). Everything is out in the open!! Well. Almost everything lol. Ronan reveals that he dreamed Cabeswater. Gansey is like “Any other geographical locations you want to tell us about?” And Ronan goes “No, but I dreamed Matthew.” And Gansey is like “Welp.”

Like ya’ll. Ronan is basically a god lol. This is insane. 

He also explains the spirit tree, and how it’s a nightmare tree. It doesn’t show you the future. It shows you the worst possible scenario. Everyone is nodding, but Gansey is confused because in one vision he found Glendower and in another he was about to kiss Blue. Adam, on the other hand, is immensely relieved.

Chapter 36. Just all of it. All of it is so fucking cute. Ronan and Blue are messing around in the kitchen, so Adam takes a minute to ask Gansey about love. And Blue’s curse. And how he knows he’s in love. It becomes apparent that he’s talking about something other than Blue, so Adam spills the beans that Ronan kissed him. And he kissed Ronan. And Gansey’s reaction is “Jesus Christ.” — Oh this is so cute. Gansey says sweet stuff like “Be careful with him Adam. He’s more fragile than you think” and Adam is like “I know that..” he’s still figuring himself out. They have a good talk and Gansey tells him to just be honest with himself. And then they resolve to find Glendower. 

Henry is taking out the trash in his underwear when Mr. Gray kidnaps him lol. Actually, he doesn’t kidnap him. He just wants to talk and ask who is coming to town and gather information, but Henry of course has some issues around being taken against his will. He summons his RoboBee and is holding it. But then Gray gets a phone call and it’s Gansey.

They meet at a super market. Henry is part of the gang now. Tells them everything he knows about his mom (Seondeok) being a magic artifact dealer. Laumonier shows up and Gray tells them to escape through the back door while he distracts them. There’s some really cute bits of Gansey and Blue being an actual couple, like him wrapping his overcoat around her and putting his hand over her eye, because he knows it hurts. They’re all PDA and it’s precious. 

OKAY BACK AT THE BARNS. CHAPTER 39. Just all of chapter 39. Shut up while I copy and paste this whole fucking thing. 

That night, Ronan didn’t dream. After Gansey and Blue had left the Barns, he leaned against one of the front porch pillars and looked out at his fireflies winking in the chilly darkness. He was so raw and electric that it was hard to believe that he was awake. Normally it took sleep to strip him to this naked energy. But this was not a dream. This was his life, his home, his night. 

After a few moments, he heard the door ease open behind him and Adam joined him. Silently they looked over the dancing lights in the fields. It was not difficult to see that Adam was working intensely with his own thoughts. Words kept rising up inside Ronan and bursting before they ever escaped. He felt he’d already asked the question; he couldn’t also give the answer. Three deer appeared at the tree line, just at the edge of the porch light’s reach. One of them was the beautiful pale buck, his antlers like branches or roots. He watched them, and they watched him, and then Ronan could not stand it. “Adam?” 

When Adam kissed him, it was every mile per hour Ronan had ever gone over the speed limit. It was every window-down, goose-bumps-on-skin, teeth-chattering-cold night drive. It was Adam’s ribs under Ronan’s hands and Adam’s mouth on his mouth, again and again and again. It was stubble on lips and Ronan having to stop, to get his breath, to restart his heart. They were both hungry animals, but Adam had been starving for longer.

Inside, they pretended they would dream, but they did not. They sprawled on the living room sofa and Adam studied the tattoo that covered Ronan’s back: all the sharp edges that hooked wondrously and fearfully into each other. “Unguibus et rostro,” Adam said. Ronan put Adam’s fingers to his mouth. He was never sleeping again.

AUAUGAUAUAUGUAGHUAUHH they’re so beautifuuuullll. I’m freaking ooooouuuttt!!!

Back in Cabeswater, the demon is being a complete asshole and killing all the trees. It’s very sad and written like murder. There’s one tree in particular that has been there for a very long time, and is considered the oldest and the strongest. And “she” dies, terrifying the younger trees.

Back in 300 Fox Way, Gwenllian wakes up with the psychic revelation that her mother has been killed by the demon. I think her mother was that tree in Cabeswater (??). She hilariously goes downstairs and rips Artemus from the closet. Chases him up the beech tree out back. Blue and Noah show up to be like “Heyy… you two..cut it out please.” But Artemus is being such a little bitch. Gwen demands he tell her where her father is. But he chickens out and… INSERTS HIS SOUL INTO THE TREE?? To hide? Gwen tells Blue “Didn’t you know? Don’t you feel it. This is your father. You have roots in your veins. The demon is coming and we’re all going to die.”

Um. Is Artemus a tree? Is BLUE HALF TREE?? MIRROR TREE?

…..is Cabeswater a bunch of tree people?? Does this have something to do with the corpse road and human souls walking along the leyline?

Adam wakes up in Ronan’s home and everything is beautiful and morning and foggy and serene and he finds Ronan in the field doing farm stuff and Orphan Girl is there being adorable and holding Adam’s hand and Chainsaw is flying overhead and the boys look at each other with unbridled, unbidden admiration and they fucking love each other and they’re a family and I can’t breathe. I can’t…  *GASP*

Chapter 43 is just smart. Smart writing. I see you, Maggie. The Gansey family is in town for the Aglionby slash political campaign fundraiser where all hell is going to break loose I’m sure. They make lunch for Henry and Blue in a renovated schoolhouse (?) that they own and rent out for events and stuff. Anyhoo, Helen is pissed, and pulls Gansey aside for a private conversation where she BERATES him for bribing headmaster Childs in exchange for allowing Ronan to graduate. So the truth comes out. Gansey gave Childs the Monmouth factory. If news gets out, it could affect their mother’s political campaign (bribery isn’t a good look). Gansey is feeling a little lost. He can’t tell his family that he might DIE soon, so that’s why he’s been doing crazy things like this. He just wants Ronan to be okay. He doesn’t care about the factory, he’s going to be dead anyway. He’s more upset about the possibility of never finding Glendower. 

Helen: “What then? What if you do find him?” 

Gansey: “That’s all there is.”

GASP he said the thing. Fuck, he said the thing. This chapter ends with Helen joking about them making it out of this weekend alive and I’m over here just like… sobbing with Gansey like AUGHAHAHAUGH MEE TOO. 

Ronan attempts to dream and Adam scries while he does so to act as backup. Orphan Girl comes too, somehow. They see the forest hanging by a thread. Everything is super fucked up and dead. Right as they’re like “Yep. Nah. No way. We’re waking up now.” But before they go, they find Aurora. And i think she’s dead. Fuck.

Jesus CHRIST things are escalating. So the Gray man and Maura pull up to the Barns. They find Adam and Ronan in the living room unresponsive and the orphan girl is fine. Maura scries to go bring Adam back, and when he does he’s like “Get Ronan get Ronan don’t leave him!” And Orphan Girl wakes Ronan up. We see what it looks like when Ronan brings something back. He’s paralyzed but slowly gets covered in blood and gore (from his mom omg). Gray tugs on Maura to bring her back. Maura is instantly like “what the fuck is that? The demon?! That was awful!” And then. AND THEN BECKY. Laumonier steps out from nowhere and shoots at Gray!! They hit the deck. And Gray fires back, killing this Laumonier. And thus, starting a war.

Alright so Gray heads out. He says he’ll handle the Laumondiers if Maura and the kids can slay the demon. No biggy. Blue and Gansey arrive and Adam has Chainsaw on his shoulder. She knows her new other Dad. 

And Ronan is basically like… disassociating in his car. Augh poor baby. Just totally shell shocked from seeing his Mom in what I can assume was a really gory state. Gansey is so sweet here. Like a comforting Dad. Noah is there too and looks so guilty about Blue’s eye but she tells him it’s not his fault. Ronan says “Say the word, Gansey. You know how to defeat this thing. Your commands are powerful. So command me, and I will go wherever you say to go.”

Blue goes to have a talk with her father who is still inside the Beech tree, but agrees to come out, and he tells her that he is a “Tree Light” (A person that can either look human or just decide to be a tree if they want to). Dang, Blue. And you thought you weren’t special! Artemus drops some bombs on us like Glendower and the tree people were allies (he was all about magic). Ya’ll. I think Glendower fucked one of those trees. (Aka Gwen’s mom)

They also talk about how the only way to kill the demon is for someone to willingly die on the leyline. Gansey and Adam are within earshot listening to this. Well fuck. 

It’s late though, so everyone tries to get some sleep.

Ronan refuses to leave his car, so Adam is like “WELP then I’m sleeping here. I don’t leave you.” And curls up in the passenger’s seat of his car. Orphan Girl is in the back. 

Meanwhile Gansey is on the couch, when he sees Noah. Noah leads him upstairs to Gwen, who is sitting on the roof. She tells him she is Owen Glendower’s daughter, and also the daughter of a Tree Light. He asks her how she had the strength to stab Artemus to prevent a war and she’s like “Whatever, I just did it because it needed to be done” and she kisses him on the cheek and says “Godspeed King.” Her weird little pep talk gives him the courage he needed to finally WANT to find Glendower. 

Gansey uses whatever magic it is he has to command stuff and is like “Tell me where to find Glendower.”

Like he hadn’t been able to find him up until now because he wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to find him, yet. Not really. Then it would all be over (“That’s all there is”). But now he’s ready and he’s fucking off. Nature is heeding his command to show him where Glendower is.

A big group of ravens and birds cluster at his command, ducking and swooping and flying (Just like in Noah’s dream! Just like on Raven Day!) and Gansey follows them. He gets in his car and chases them because they’re not waiting. And also probably because he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. 

Meanwhile, Ronan is still in the car kind of like… staring off into space. He’s not asleep (because sleep means going to nightmare Cabeswater), but he’s not awake either. Blue comes and knocks on the window and Maura, Calla, and Gwen are there too. (Everyone else was sent away for safety). Blue says Gansey’s run off on his own. So Ronan says he’ll dream one last time and dream up something to help them locate Gansey. Adam, boyfriend of the year, is like I got you babe I’ll scry and protect you. And the psychics are like yeah yeah let’s do this thing. We’ll work together.

MEANWHILE. The fucking car breaks down lol. The birds keep going and Gansey is just like fuck fuck fuck. Then Henry shows up! RoboBee has been instructed to let him know if Gansey is ever in trouble or needs him, so there he is. Henry is a sweet lil cinnamon roll. Gansey drives Henry’s car and they race off together to where the birds are leading them. … Which is the massive old mansion Gansey DIED AT when he was 10. It’s all run down now, though. 

There are so many amazing introspective parts in these chapters. Gansey knows this is it. This is the night he finds Glendower, kills the demon, and probably dies. He has a moment to himself over the spot where he stepped on the hornet’s nest and reorients himself with the idea of death. Then Henry comes to find him and says he found a cave opening in the basement. It’s not natural. The cave looks like it just appeared and broke everything when Gansey commanded the way to be shown to him. 

So Gansey is like “I’m going on” and he doesn’t ask Henry to join him because he knows how Henry feels about being in underground dark places. Gansey’s not stoked about it either, and misses having his friends around to talk him down from panic attacks and literally transform hornets into birds for him. But there he is. In the dark. Feeling time slipping around him. Henry gifted him with his Aglionby sweater to keep him warm and he feels water on his shoulders from the cave (EEEKK!! This is what he was wearing on St. Mark’s day!!). His cell phone light goes off. And he hears the sound of hornets in the cave — building and building and building. Like thousands of them. IN THE DARK. 

Then his friends show up!!! YAYYYY!!! Ronan, Adam, Blue, Henry— and they’re all like “Dust!” “Wind!” “Leaves!” And the hornets turn into dust and wind and leaves. AUGH I love these kids. 

Ronan dreamed a firefly that is a Gansey tracker (AWW!) and Henry has RoboBee. So he asks RoboBee to help them find Glendower, and after a few more hours or minutes of walking around in the cave with Gansey’s court, they fucking FIND IT!

And the vibes are totally different. When they found Gwen’s fake tomb, Gansey was all  scared and didn’t want the ride to end. Ronan kicked the door down lol. THIS time, the tomb is real humble. Not decorated at all. And everyone is approaching it with a sort of reverence. In fact, Glendower isn’t even in a tomb. He’s literally just laying on a slab in a full suit of armor, unprotected. There’s also a skeleton in the corner with a sword through it?? (And the skeleton is wearing clothing/armor from Glendower’s time. So. I dunno what went down there.)

Okay so here’s the big moment. Gansey goes to remove Glendower’s helmet and wake him up… tension builds… and when he removes the helmet he finds just……. Dust and bones. Glendower is HELLA DEAD and has been for a VERY LONG TIME! 

I am devastated. Gansey is devastated. Everyone is standing around like “What the fuck?” And they try their “waking bones” magic, like they pulled off in the other cave, but it doesn’t work. Glendower is just too fucking dead. 

I’m so confused then!! So how did Gansey have the vision where he SAW Glendower and saw him waking up?? I guess it was in Ronan’s nightmare tree that didn’t show the future, but just worst possible scenarios. Maybe it was just a reflection of Gansey’s innermost wish or …. Maybe if they DID wake up Glendower, something bad would happen. 

I kept waiting for the magic to happen, but it doesn’t. Glendower is not happening, Gretchen. 

There’s a really cute part when they’re driving home where Henry abruptly pulls over and says to Gansey “Get out. I know you need to. Just get out.” And Gansey steps over to a picnic table away from everyone and has himself a good cry. Sweet thing. And SWEET HENRY for realizing he needed this. Gansey is feeling a lot. And for the first time, he understands Adam’s pride and doesn’t want them to see him like this. But he accepts Blue when she comes to check on him. Soon, the others join. And they have to come up with a new plan. 

So Gansey is like… well. If we don’t have a favor from Glendower, the only other option to get rid of this demon is a sacrifice. 

(Was that why the skeleton was in Glendower’s tomb? Was that a sacrifice to seal the demon away?? Am I thinking too hard about this??)

Anyway. Sacrifice. And it’s going to be Gansey. Ronan is like “No.” and Gansey says “It has to be. Blue already saw my spirit on the corpse road a year ago. It’s going to be me and it has always been me.” And Ronan is like “WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE? When were you going to tell me this??!” And they say “Never because you’re the most EMOTIONAL PERSON HERE!”

Gansey says “For what it’s worth, I’d rather not die? I’m terrified? So if anyone has any other ideas I’m super open to them.” — Adam proposes a shaky plan that maybe they go to Cabeswater? Like maybe if he dies there, Adam could scry and bring his soul back to his body before it gets too far away. Everyone says “COOL! Worth a try!” And they’re walking back to the cars…

WHEN ADAM ATTACKS RONAN. 

Omg omg his eyes and hands belong to the demon now. Because the demon is in Cabeswater. This is heartbreaking. Adam is fucking GOING AFTER Ronan. Strangling him. Clawing at his face. He nearly breaks his own hand on a tree. The worst part is Adam is still conscious and shouting at everyone “Stop me! Stop me! Hit me! Knock me out! Whatever you need to do!”

This line from Ronan, who is not fighting back at all:

The choice was death or hurting Adam, which wasn’t much of a choice at all.

Eventually, between all of them, they get Adam pinned. He hurts everyone though. Tears open Blue’s stitches. He’s absolutely freaked out and terrified and Gansey’s like “We got you bud. Don’t worry.” And they tie his arms behind his back and blindfold him. Henry is oddly enough, the only person who knows how to bind arms properly lol. Thank you traumatic childhood hostage situation!

God there’s this sad bit where Adam is finally tied up, and collapses into Ronan’s chest, out of breath. And Ronan whispers in his ear in Latin “Someday even this will be something we look back on fondly.” And Adam says “You asshole” but sounds close to tears. 

Everyone is bloody. Adam is like “I might as well be the sacrifice, I’m corrupted.” And Henry delivers this great line:

“Let’s not get carried away just because you tried to kill someone,”

Hah. If we thought Gansey speaks like an over-educated 50 year old teen, Henry is like… up in the stratosphere. I love his sense of humor. 

Meanwhile, at Aglionby, Gansey’s family is freaking out because they haven’t heard from him. They’re scared, but then they’re pissed at him for missing the fundraiser. Seonduk is there, who is Henry’s Mom, and we learn that she got into magical artifact sales because she had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and developed psychic powers. So. NEAT! But she really does love her kids, and seems like a good person even though she put Henry through a little hell being a mob boss, basically. 

She has a nice chat with Gray who tells her he wants Henrietta to be safe territory and wants her help to do so. She’s like yeah okay fine. 

Then Piper arrives… ON A BLACK CARPET MADE OF BLACK WASPS. Wearing crazy clothing. And a GIANT BLACK WASP on her arm. This girl lol. I love to hate her. She’s like “What up everybody! I’m Piper. This is my demon. He’s my bitch and not the other way around. Bidding starts at a million bazillion dollars, who wants to start?”

And Laumonier is like “Piper… honey… put the demon down.”

“Shut up Dad! I can control it. It made me these pumps and did my makeup. Let me sell this demon and then we can all go have breakfast.”

(I’m paraphrasing and being funny, but the actual dialogue is not really that far off)

When Piper starts controlling people with the demon (not allowing them to run away since everyone is being bombarded by negative thoughts from this thing), Laumonier SHOOTS HIS OWN DAUGHTER. Shoots her. And everyone fucking scatters. Gray and Seonduk are like “Yeah we’ll be in touch. Nobody wants anything to do with Henrietta anymore. Fucking bye.” And the wasp like… bathes in Piper’s blood and gets even stronger. 

Chapter 61 is amazing. It’s so well written. I love how Maggie did this. So the entire thing is told from the perspective of Adam, who is bound and blindfolded, and doing his usual Adam thing of wallowing in his thoughts. He can’t believe he almost killed Ronan. And really hurt everyone else. Blue puts her head on his shoulder even though he’s like “Don’t” and comforts him. His fingers are still twitching. 

The car stops because there’s blood on the road. It’s raining. And they notice there’s Blue flower petals floating in the blood. (Remember how Ronan’s Dad said the day Ronan was born, the cows cried blood and it rained blue petals?) 

Ronan’s driving. There’s a thunderstorm. They are trying to decide whether or not to ford the damn blood river, when Ronan says “Do you ever feel like things come full circle?” And then there’s silence. Then Gansey is like “Ronan? RONAN?” And Adam hears the gas pedal slam even though the car is out of gear. 

Everyone is panicking and shouting Ronan’s name. All the while Adam is like “What’s happening?!” And we’re right there with him reading… going “WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

Basically, Ronan keeps passing out. The demon is pulling him into unconsciousness, into the dream world to UNMAKE HIM. And he is fighting hard. He keeps waking up, gasping for air, and bringing back dream objects to hold on to life. At one point, we get these disconcerting lines??’

Blue: “Can we pick it off him?” 

“Don’t,” Ronan gasped. “Don’t touch it — don’t —”

Like, we never find out what is on Ronan. I think it’s either a dream thing he brought back or maybe a wasp? Blue is screaming at Ronan not to close his eyes, and Henry is like “WHAT IS HAPPENING?” And Adam is like “I thought being possessed was bad. This is worse. Listening to my boyfriend die and being tied up and blind.”

So Adam decides to scry. He knows it’s risky, but he does it anyway. And in his psychic state, he sees Persephone, who is cool as a cucumber and tells him “You made a deal with Cabeswater, not this demon. Don’t let it push you around.” And that’s enough for Adam to regain control of his hands and eyes. He comes back to his body, pushes the blindfold off with his shoulder, and watches in horror with everyone else while Ronan is bleeding black from his nose, passing out and waking up over and over again, each time with some random object. One random object is scrolls of paper with “claws and beaks” written on them, which is what Adam said to him while making out by the fire. Gawd. 

This whole time, Ronan’s cell is blowing up, and it’s Declan probably calling because Matthew is bleeding black from his nose and ears (the same thing is happening to the little girl). 

Ronan is dying. 

Gansey says “This is it. We have to kill this demon now or it’s going to unmake Ronan. We have to make the sacrifice right now.”

They’re nowhere near Cabeswater, but they are on the leyline. So it’ll work. 

Henry unties Adam so he can fist bump with Gansey one last time. Hah I love how Maggie writes that. “It was stupid and inadequate.” But they’re best buds, so there you have it. And then we get the moment that Blue saw in the vision tree. Gansey holds the sides of her face and tells her “It’s going to be okay Blue.” And they kiss. AUGH MY HEART.

Yep, copying and pasting this whole thing:

Blue said, “I hate this.” 

It was right, though. Gansey felt the feeling of time slipping — one last time. The sense of having done this before. He gently laid the backs of his hands on her cheeks. He whispered, “It’ll be okay. I’m ready. Blue, kiss me.” 

The rain spattered about them, kicking up splashes of red-black, making the petals around them twitch. Dream things from Ronan’s newly healed imagination piled around their feet. In the rain, everything smelled of these mountains in fall: oak leaves and hay fields, ozone and dirt turned over. It was beautiful here, and Gansey loved it. It had taken a long time, but he’d ended up where he wanted after all. 

Blue kissed him. He had dreamt of it often enough, and here it was, willed into life. In another world, it would just be this: a girl softly pressing her lips to a boy’s. But in this one, Gansey felt the effects of it at once. Blue, a mirror, an amplifier, a strange half-tree soul with ley line magic running through her. And Gansey, restored once by the ley line’s power, given a ley line heart, another kind of mirror. And when they were pointed at each other, the weaker one gave. Gansey’s ley line heart had been gifted, not grown. He pulled back from her. Out loud, with intention, with the voice that left no room for doubt, he said, “Let it be to kill the demon.” 

Right after he spoke, Blue threw her arms tightly around his neck. Right after he spoke, she pressed her face into the side of his. Right after he spoke, she held him like a shouted word. Love, love, love. He fell quietly from her arms. He was a king.

GOD NOOOOOOO!!!!!

So it took me a minute to figure out what was happening. I always thought Blue and Gansey kissing was a catalyst to some other event that was going to kill Gansey. (I honestly thought the demon was going to sting him). But the mirror thing is what’s important here. You know what? I’ll come back to this. All we need to know right now is that Blue’s kiss killed Gansey. Because she’s a mirror.

The demon is dead.

Chapter 65 is great. It’s all from Noah’s perspective. This poor sweet boy. The thing about being dead is that you exist in loops. So Noah just kind of drifts around periodically reliving his murder. Or hanging out with the guys in Monmouth before they realized he was dead. Or shoving plants off the shelf in a fit of anger, when he himself realized he was dead. Over and over again he relives these moments, because that’s what ghosts do. Noah goes back to the moment he died. Then he goes back to the moment Gansey died from hornets. 

We learn that NOAH was the voice that Gansey heard that day!!

Noah crouched over Gansey’s body. He said, for the last time, “You will live because of Glendower. Someone else on the ley line is dying when they should not, and so you will live when you should not.” Gansey died. “Good-bye,” Noah said. “Don’t throw it away.”

And then Noah dissapears. That was his last loop. MY HEART!!!

And it makes sense, right? “You will live because of Glendower” — not taken literally, but like.. “You’re going to press on in life and have this purpose for yourself because you’ll be obsessed with finding Glendower. This mission is going to introduce you to all of your friends. And you’ll change the world.”

Chapter 66, everyone is just reeling. Especially Ronan, who hasn’t had as much time as everyone else to sit with this. He curses out Gansey’s dead body and is crying. Adam just collapses. Blue is of course, devastated. HENRY has had even less time to process what’s going on, and he kind of yells at them, “You’re magicians aren’t you? What good is magic if it can’t save him!”

And Adam proposes taking Gansey’s body to Cabeswater. Maybe they can beg the forest to save him. Maybe they can beg the forest to sacrifice itself for Gansey. (Which seems like a lot to ask but I also love Gansey, so I’m fine with this.)

Cabeswater is probably like “Um, you just got done saving me, and you want to what now?”

So Cabeswater, in its limited tree vocabulary, is trying to explain to the kids that this is not as simple as it dying and Gansey living. I’m just imaging Adam and the forest speaking frantically in psychic over this lol. Cabeswater can only MAKE things. So it makes itself into life. Into Gansey’s life. And when all the trees are done falling, Blue tells Gansey “Wake Up.” And that ends the chapter. 

Okay. 

Several things going on here. Let me see if I got this.

At this moment, Gansey becomes infused with the life force of Cabeswater. And because Cabeswater does funny things with time, he has actually been Cabeswater for this whole book series. Possibly since he died when he was 10, and this loop started. The one Noah has been drifting around for years. That’s why he’s constantly had this feeling of time slipping. And like he’s done this before. And everyone has this uncanny feeling that Gansey is all ages at once. 

Gansey was the first one to demonstrate a strange control over this place. (Turning fish colors, etc.). And his commands are some kind of magic. He’s constantly referred to as a king.

And that’s why Blue’s kiss killed him instantly. She’s a mirror. When she kissed him, he was already Cabeswater. Because time is a loop. And he has been a type of mirror this whole time.

QUESTIONS:

Why is Glendower dead? When did he die?

Who is the skeleton in the tomb with him and why is it stabbed?

What is the significance of the shield and Camaro tire they found at the bottom of the lake?

Glendower must have also fallen in love with a tree person, because Gwen states that her mother is a tree. (Her and Blue are the same? Half human half Tree Light?)

I’m still kind of wrapping my mind around this?? Because Ronan dreamed Cabeswater… (or, more pointedly, the leyline magic memory of a forest was there, but he gave it shape). And I’m not sure how that fits into the narrative…. You know, I was really relieved to find so many memes on tumblr about how no one understands this book lol. BUT I WANT TO!!!!

I’m pretty sure Cabeswater was full of… people trees. Like old souls that had been around since Glendower times. 

And there’s this whole OTHER layer of things about the 3 sleepers. And who is who. Demon is definitely one. Gwen might be one, but not really because she never slept. Adam might be one, because there’s a line when he understands his psychic ability that says “I’m awake”. Glendower we thought was one, but probably wasn’t because he was super dead this whole time. Then, I think Gansey is one. He wakes up from being dead and is now some magical time god disguised as a seventeen year old.

EPILOGUE

Adam drives Ronan’s BMW to his parents’ trailer and confronts them. I love that he does this, because he has a car, but him driving around in Ronan’s just solidifies… EVERYTHING. I love this scene because Adam is so cool and confident. These people can’t hurt him anymore. And he tells them as much, in the most mature way possible. 

Ronan gifted Henry, Gansey, and Blue with a scavenger hunt for graduation. The gift is the location of Kavinsky’s car graveyard, only they find the first version of the dream Camaro that runs with no engine. Blue loves it because it’s the most green car ever. They love it because they’re going to go on a threesome road trip around the country in a car that doesn’t need gas. 

Ronan is hanging out with Orphan Girl in the woods where Cabeswater used to be. It’s just a regular forest now. Oh, she has a name now, by the way. And it’s Opal. Ronan gets to thinking about how he’d imagine Cabeswater differently. How he’d design it, if he had to design it again. 

And the book ends with him settling down to dream. 

HE’S GONNA DREAM THAT FOREST BACK. And … start the cycle over I dunno.

So... Trees are people. Ancient people forest that used to exist. But now no longer does (like a ghost on the leyline). Book ends with Ronan making trees. Time is loop. Trees become life for Gansey. Ronan make trees. Ronan make... Gansey life?

This book series is a MIND BENDER.

It did not go how I thought it would. It avoided tropes left and right. All of the climaxes of the books left me very confused, but not in a bad way. They just never ended how you thought they would. For instance, I thought this whole thing was going to end with the kids literally slaying a demon. But it was more about sacrifice. That’s a theme that comes up a lot. 

And things making and unmaking. And changing. Exchanges. 

My brain hurts. But I loved it. I love these characters. This found family. I love that everyone lives in the end and is happy and okay. I know there are epilogue books that focus on Opal and Ronan. I’ve seen some spoilers that it’s slightly in the future where Adam is going to college and Ronan is part of some kind of…dreamers… squad I dunno. I’ve also heard they’re sad, so I think I’ll save those for some other time hahaha. But Ronan and Adam ARE together in those books, so that’s nice hahaha

Oh shit, what happened to Aurora? I think she just...dies. I’m assuming Matthew is okay because Opal is okay. I saw a meme on Tumblr that other people were asking about the comet, so I’m glad I’m not the only one lol. (No one knows. It just goes away haha).

Alright. Time to say goodbye. This one is going to leave a big hole in my heart. I finished this book 2 weeks ago and I keep coming back to this document trying to figure it out hahaha Thank you Raven Cycle! You were a RIDE!!!! 

Deadass Rating: 8.5/10

Unofficial theme song: “Mum” by Luke Hemings

[waywardwizzard]

Hi there :D

7, 13 and 28 for the "not from the US" ask game? if you don't mind, naturally <3

Hiii, thanks for the ask <3

And sorry it took me so long to answer🙈

7.) Three words from your native language you love the most.

At first I was like, this question is going to be so easy. But when I started answering it, I was like... shit. This is HARD. Because, the thing is where I'm from, you grow up borrowing words from the other 10+ languages sprinkled through out the country and after a while you forget which are actually part of your language. So, I'm going to cheat a little bit. I'm going to do 3 in my Native language (Afrikaans) and 3 that I love using that aren't part of it. So, in no particular order i present to you:

Native language (Afrikaans):

• Sonbesie. Literally/directly translates to sun beetle. I don't know why but I love this word so much.

• Spookasem. Directly translates to ghostbreath. It actually means candyfloss though. I love how it sounds so spooky in Afrikaans but it sounds so... cute in English.

• Nou-nou. It's Afrikaans for now-now. Why I love this word so much is that it doesn't necessarily mean now, it could be any time from between 5 minutes to a year. You don't know how long nou-nou is. You'll find out. Eventually.

Other languages:

• Thula. It means 'be quiet'. There's a lullaby called 'thula baba' that I grew up hearing and thula's been one of my favorite words ever since.

• Tokoloshe. A Tokoloshe is a dwarf-like water spirit that is mischievous/evil. I love the sh and t sounds of the word.

• Shongololo. In plain English, a millipede. I love the sound and look of the word. It looks like a shongololo.

13.) Does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

▪︎Kakelaars, a type of bird with a long tail and a red beak, (it's less commonly know as a green wood hoopoe in the part of the country where I'm from) are said to call the rain when they cackle. So far, the kakelaars that live in the trees across from us has never been wrong.

▪︎ Just before you enter Schoemanskloof, you'll see a statue that's probably painted in one way or another. That isn't a statue. That's a rock. And his name is Old Joe.

So far, Old Joe has been painted to look like a cat, the Virgin Mary, a soccer player and a Christmas minion to name a few. Most of the art work is done by an artist known as Ghost and every few months he'll give Old Joe a new appearance. It's almost become something of a tradition.

Also! It's believed that if you honk/wave at Old Joe as you drive by you'll have a safe journey through the gorge.

(If anyone wants to hear more about Old Joe/ see pictures please feel free to ask!)

▪︎ The clouds that can regularly be seen floating over Devil's Peak and Table Mountain aren't just clouds according to a local legend. They are actually clouds of smoke drifting across the peak/mountains due to a smoking match going on between a sea captain and the Devil up on the peak (it's also how Devil's Peak got its name.)

(If you want to hear more, let me know! I'm kind of embarrassingly into South African myths, legends and superstitions. It's a new obsession tbh😅)

There's a lot more but I don't want to bore anyone so I'm just going to stop here😂

28.) Does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? Do you have favorites?

We do! More dams than lakes but we have both. Oceans and forests too! My favorite? The mountains (and the forests, they're usually together.) Especially the Drakensberg mountains. They. Are. Beautiful. They also have cave art that is several thousands of years old. The hiking trails are also fun, especially when you reach the top, or find a hidden away river. Ohh, and ziplining! I love the actual ziplining and the hike back to the top. And the picturesque-ness of it all...

Yep, definitely the mountains.

Thank you so much for the ask <3

(If there are anymore questions, please ask, I love asks)

And because I took so long, here'a picture of Old Joe as a speed cop (credit goes to the og photographer) -

[outoftheframework]

my proposal for tropes we as a fandom should adopt in all fanworks going forward: Duke Thomas edition

So every fandom has tropes and characterization quirks that have been generally accepted into fanon and, like, maybe? they were originally based on some obscure comic panel from the 80s or something but it doesn’t really matter because we’re all just,,, cool with it? Like for example- in the dc comics fandom, an art piece could show 3 of the bats that look virtually identical except one of them is holding a box of cereal so that one is obviously Dick Grayson. . . Y’know?

Anyway, these things usually come up naturally I guess but I’ve been here a while and it’s finally time to put my foot down. It’s high time for Duke Thomas to be more in fanon than “the sane one.” Because he might be the relatively new guy but he is certainly fears no gods or laws of the land just as much as the other bats, lemme tell ya. 

TL;DR here are character quirks (”canon-based” or otherwise) that we should all really latch onto seriously I’m begging y’all to make at least one of these happen-

Duke “Habitually Jumping Out of Moving Vehicles” Thomas

This one’s actually based in canon y’all; Duke did indeed yeet himself out of the back of a cop car and off of a bridge (in We Are... Robin). Normalize Duke’s wearing knee and elbow pads as Signal because jumping out of a car turns out relatively fine once and then suddenly Batman’s rooftop disappearing act seems mellow compared to the amount of times Gordon has whipped his head around to see a now Signal-less backseat. 

Like, he’s going 60 mph?? And he didn’t even hear the door open?? and tHE DOORS ARE STILL LOCKED??

Imagine this leaking into civilian life and Bruce waking up to a blurry photo of Duke mid-escape from a limousine on the front page of the Gotham Gazette.

(more under cut)

Duke “Puzzles are my Passion” Thomas

Duke is ~canonically~ very skilled at both solving and concocting riddles (as a child during that time where The Riddler just,,, controlled Gotham, he worked non-stop on riddles, trying to make the perfect one). Please y’all- let Duke solve puzzles. Have the other bats ask him for help after 36 hours straight of brooding over some brainteaser that Duke works out within the half-hour. He texts a picture of the solution scribbled out on loose leaf in the margins of his pre-calc homework because this boy shows his work. 

My guy is a word-cross FIEND. A mind-sweeper speed-runner. That guy who mails into the Gazette to correct a solution in the “fun & games” section and also ps that photo is not of me I am simply a polite young man who is much too busy writing into the paper in the year 2021 to jump out of limos-

I also would love to see this integrated into the type of cases he investigates / runs into on his daytime patrol. Like, obviously the criminal activity is going to dramatically differ before and after sundown, but that doesn’t make Duke’s work any easier or less important. It’s a different skillset; he has to work differently. Instead of jumping into fights, halting mob meetings, saving civilians in dark allies, etc. Duke has to sort through all of the moving pieces before they all converge into something catastrophic. 

It’s a known fact that criminal organizations in Gotham make and execute a lot of behind-the-scenes plans during the day specifically not to run into the bats. And Duke knows and monitors this shit all by himself; his work is crucial to logistics and information gathering for the bats as a whole. Now criminals have like, a 2 hour gap between bat-shifts to try and get stuff done. But Duke would 100% set traps on timers or lead them on this pre-set convoluted goose chase  to distract them until the night bats come out and to let himself enjoy the whole thing playing out on the news while he finishes homework that’s due at midnight.

Duke “I Know a Guy” Thomas

So in going off of the basic concept for the “We Are. . . Robin” run in combination to his general likability, Duke has a lot of friends all around Gotham. Okay, sure, he doesn’t have a Super best friend or a Speedster on speed dial, but he does know this guy who details cars up on West 35th and will tell them all about the new mods on Black Mask’s transport vans if they come through the third floor window and bring takeout. 

Bruce and Tim will be waiting for the facial recognition software to identify at least a partial match off of security cam footage when Duke pulls into the cave, takes one look at the screen, and says “Oh, that’s <insert name, address, abridged life story, and known associates here>.” This also brings in the opportunity for Duke to have some sort of perfect recall for faces, voices, names, etc. which I think could be a really cool element for his position as the batfamily member who has a lot more personal interaction with the people of Gotham.

I’m also into the idea of a lot of people knowing/telling stories about Duke. Not to reference the Chuck Norris meme but almost like the Chuck Norris meme lmao. Think about Jason mentioning his brother to someone and she replies, “Duke Thomas? Like that Duke Thomas? The one who swam across the harbor because he said it’d be faster than the subway and it actually was?” These stories have varying levels of truth to them but Duke will never confirm nor deny when he gets random calls from family members yelling “you dID WHAT”

So those are my top three, and the following is a little speed-round of headcanons :)

Duke has a super expressive face. Like when he’s relaxed around family, you can tell exactly what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling by his visual reactions to things

Duke rotates through picking up new and revisiting old hobbies at a pretty rapid pace. Some hobbies include: bullet journaling, origami, viola, cello, synth, conversational basics in multiple languages, up-cycling and embroidering clothes

Duke has a really fucking adorable smile. He can’t help it. He’ll try to grin sarcastically or smug to be annoying but his smile just cannot be anything other than endearing. He also has a very specific booming laugh that’s an absolute treasure to hear, because it’s the most genuinely happy thing ever. 

Duke unironically enjoys Signal by Twice even though the first time he heard it was after Steph had set it as his morning alarm.

So.

Come and get your food, I guess.

Feel free to add on if you’d like! I’d love to see anything you guys write/draw/etc. based on anything from here if you feel compelled to do so!

Stay safe and be well :) 

[gucciwins]

Roses and Romeo

Harry and Y/N come back to their hometown after eight years to open up a time capsule they buried ten years ago as high school sophomores. 

Word count: 20,534

A/N: Hello beautiful friends, hope you’ve been well. I’m really excited to share this story. It is a former high school sweethearts to lovers. Thank you to @havethetimeofyourstyles Jill for creating timetravelathon and allowing me to participate. I am very sorry it’s later but I finished!!! I do hope you all love it. 

Also this story is my baby, because i’ve never hit 20k before so this was new and exciting. I just had so many ideas for the story.

please come and tell me your favorite part!

_____

DECEMBER 1989 - SENIOR YEAR 

It's December, and all that is on her mind is how the grass would look covered in snow. The cold breeze, an extra jacket to stay warm, a blanket to bundle up with her favorite person. Safe to say, she can only imagine it because California, specifically Southern California, isn't so keen on giving her this one gift she asks for each year.

A huge smile spreads over her face as soon as she sees her house up ahead. 

It's not huge, but it is perfect for Y/N. She has the best memories growing up in a house full of love and laughter and the most gorgeous flowers. The iris and tulips bloomed extra bright this year. There is never a day her mom isn't fixing the garden. Her mother always makes sure she has fresh flowers in her room; right now, for the week, she has purple tulips. Also makes a lovely gift to take to her boyfriend. Harry always blushes when she brings him flowers. 

It also gets her extra kisses. 

Harry parks right outside but doesn't rush out to open her door like always, so she turns to look at him. He's tapping his fingers on the steering wheel; she patiently waits for him to speak up. 

She'd wait all day if she could; he has a beautiful face, one that she will never get tired of gazing at. She especially loves that curl that flops down over his forehead; as much as he pushes it away, it bounces back as if he never moved it.

"It's Friday, love." Harry begins, "I think you should consider coming with me to a party." 

She pouts. "No, I want to listen to that new record my dad found, and I also have lots to study. Big exam on Monday."

"You're always studying." He groans. 

She frowns. "Not true! Calculus is my biggest enemy. Mr. Leanza is not easy on us." 

"Okay, Miss 101%." He pokes her cheek. 

She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest in annoyance. 

"I'm not going to go just for you to tease me." 

Harry leans over and steals a kiss before she can dodge him. "Let's play a game." He sees her roll her eyes but asks her to hear him out. 

She gestures for him to go on. "I go in and quiz you. Zero wrong out of all the flashcards you have in that bag of yours, and I get to take you with me. I already have parent permission. I'll have you know."

She narrows her eyes at him. Not ever surprised that her parents agreed, they trust Harry. He's given them no reason not to. She's about to tell him, no, but he gives her a big smile. His dimples are on full display, and she finds herself agreeing. 

She mutters a small "okay." 

Harry smiles, knowing how she likes to make him work for it, but he really enjoys finding new ways to win her over. He might have cheated, flashing her his dimples that he knows she can't resist, but he never said he played fair. "Only if I get to drive Nessie." 

Nessie is Harry's classy white 1966 Mercedes-Benz 230 SL. She was never interested in cars, but Harry speaks so fondly of his car that she has come to learn so much about it and loves it just as much as Harry and her father together taught her how to change a tire and check the oil on Nessie. They want to prepare her for anything, and she is thankful because Harry likes to test her from time to time. 

Harry smirked, knowing how much she loves driving. She loves it but does not cave in letting her parents get her a car. Her parents have wanted to get her a car since she got her license at sixteen, but Y/N claims it is too much money to spend.

Her parents tell her they have saved enough for her and her education. It's like raising an only child. They remind Y/N all the time since her brother has graduated university and now lives in San Francisco as an engineer in a growing company. 

Harry has been meeting discreetly behind her back with her parents on gifting her a car this Christmas. Although he fears that having a car will mean less of him driving her around. Meaning they will spend less time together and fewer backseat make-out sessions, but on an upside also means he'd have to help her christen it. 

"Darling, you dating me for my car?" 

"Yes, dearie. I started dating you back in our first year because you had Nessie, not because of those dimples and lame jokes.

"You told me you love them!" Harry gasps, offended. 

"Tell you what you want to hear." She shrugs, getting out of the car. 

"Hurting my feelings, love." Harry now stands in front of her taking her bag from her hand and closing the door behind her. 

"Let's get inside." She pushes him to walk in quickly, knowing her parents aren't home yet and her mom isn't due for another thirty minutes, and she would really love to squeeze in a make-out session. 

"Compliment me, then we can go in." Harry stands firm in front of her, a teasing glimmer in his emerald eyes. 

She reaches up and places her hands on his cheek, planting a small kiss on his nose.  

"You're a dreamboat, Styles." She whispers.

Harry can't help the blush that seems to be taking over his entire face. 

She pecks his lips and skips around him. "Let's get studying, then you can help me pick my outfit for later." 

Harry shakes himself out of the trance she always seems to leave him in. "God knows you need it

JUNE 1998 - SUMMER HOME 

Y/N had always known she was a bit crazy but honestly, deciding on making a 44-hour road trip from Massachusetts to California, where her hometown of Aurora takes the cake. 

Yes, she knows how unsafe it is to be a woman on the road alone, but she saved up for the trip and would be spending the entire summer home for the first time since graduating high school. A plus was that she knows the map really well, having studied it hard like one of her anatomy books. Also, helped that her father quizzed her on what roads and exits she would be taking. 

She's a good driver; her father always told her everyone else is who she had to watch out for. Honestly, she thanked her family for pushing her to drive more, and now she loves being behind the wheel. 

The road was never-ending, taking her where she wanted, and currently, she was aiming for home. 

It's four hours until she reaches home, a home she has not lived in for over eight years. A place that holds her most precious memories as well as most heartbreaking.

She's driving with the window down, enjoying the breeze, knowing the heat will only get worse the closer to home. A car passes next to her; she looks over briefly, taking in the vehicle's blue color. It does look a bit old; as the driver accelerates their speed, she notices that it's a Mercedes-Benz but can't make the model seeing as the driver must be eager to reach their destination now speeding off. If she's honest, those types of cars remind her of one person, and that's how she knows she'll never escape because she finds meaning for them in anything and everything life has to offer. 

The last few hours on the road pass relatively quickly because the next thing she knows, she's parking her Jeep Cherokee in what she used to call her parking. This car has spent nine years with her and runs like a dream. It was a gift from her parents, and at the time, she was nervous about the gesture but really grew to love it. It also came in handy, seeing as she now lives far from home and visits as much as she can. She hopes to make more trips up now that she has residency but knows it will be harder to get holidays off. 

Her parents understand; they do. She's following her dreams and achieving each one, and that is all they could ever ask for. 

Y/N gets out and gets her suitcase; it has her essentials and anything she's missing; she can come out later to get it, well her father will most likely fight her and do it on his own. 

Just as she is about to open the door, it swings open. Her mother doesn't give her any time to react and simply wraps her in a hug. A tight one full of love and happiness, an embrace she will never get tired of. 

"Hi, momma," Y/N murmurs, not at all ready to let go.

"Hello, my sweet girl. It's good to have you home." 

"It's good being here. Feel younger already." 

"Ah, same here. Come inside; I have lemonade served up and muffins because they are your favorite." 

Y/N smiles, knowing how much her mother made sure to have her well-fed always. No matter what she told her, she wanted her with meat on her bones. This also meant anyone who she brought home was given a big meal as well. Telling everyone and anyone they were too thin then proceeding to provide them with a second serving. This was her mother's way of getting into people's hearts through their stomachs. 

Y/N walked into the kitchen and smiled at how nothing had changed. Hanging on the refrigerator were her three graduation photos: high school at seventeen, ready to take the world by storm, at twenty-one graduating with the highest honor from Columbia University, and the last was graduating Harvard Medical school this past spring. She knew the next to join would be a photo of her on the first day of her residency. 

"Your father refuses to take any down; when your brother comes into town, he complains. Your dad shuts him up by telling him to go be a doctor, and then they could talk." 

It warms Y/N's heart that her parents are proud of all the accomplishments she has made. It's been a tough road, but nothing stops her until she accomplishes her goals, and starting her residency is the next stop. 

"Like dad's office is covered full of his accomplishments since entering that job in San Francisco." She jokes, transitioning the conversation away from herself.

"The oldest child always seems to be the most jealous." Her mother reminds her.

After eating a muffin or two, her mom sends her off on a walk, not wanting her to be cooped up in the house on her first day back. She has always loved walking around. It's something she did when her friends weren't able to offer her a ride. Also, her parents would walk her to the park every weekend growing up to run around in the grass and ruin more clothes with grass stains.

It's no surprise that she arrives at the entrance of the town's park. It looks like there is no one around until she really enters and finds a family seated on a picnic planet as their youngest tries feeding their oldest strawberries. It's a sweet sight. 

She keeps going, not at all wanting to disturb; soon enough, she enters the part of the park no one really visits and finds the old park bench with lots of initials carved in the wood, hers included. It creaks as she sits on it; she smiles, knowing that it is something that has not changed. 

There aren't many flowers in this corner, just a big willow tree offering her shade that she very much enjoys. 

It's nice being home, she's missed it, but she has loved living in new places, making new friends and connections. She spent her first four years in New York, and she loved the environment. It was a university filled with thousands of people never seeing the same face twice in the halls. Everyone was always in a rush to get somewhere but not here, not at home. Everyone stops her for a conversation. They talk to her as if no time has happened, as if she was still the young girl who helped her mom tend the garden each weekend. 

In a way, she always will be. 

She wanted this time to explore and travel because she knows this where she'll come back one day to lay her roots. She and her future husband will marry here, maybe at the botanical garden with the beautiful flower arch all year round. It's where she sees her children growing up and running around as she once did. She's got her residency to finish up, but she's looking forward to when she can call Aurora home again. 

After sitting for a while, she decides she will come back with a book or two next time. If she's going to be here all summer might as well start by doing some reading on books she has not gotten around to reading. Y/N is thinking about leaving when her eyes spot a couple coming down a hidden path, a small daisy behind the girl's ear, her arm tight around her boyfriend's arm. He's got the biggest smile on his face. They look so lost in each other, one can feel their love. 

It reminds her of when she used to do that. When she did that with Harry before they broke up and never spoke again. It breaks her heart, but it also brings back some of the best memories. He'd always bring her here just so they could talk for hours so that she'd tell him more about the flowers and to kiss in private. 

One of her favorite memories is when they were in their third year of high school, and he asked to meet for a surprise. She stands up and shakes the memory away, not wanting to get lost in her thoughts. It's harder to do now that she's home and she can see him everywhere she looks. 

With that last thought brushed away, she decides to walk back home. She's got a few days to herself before meeting with everyone; there was the big reason she was back in town. 

It was time to open a box of memories. 

APRIL 1989 - JUNIOR YEAR

Harry is up to something. 

She suspects something because he made her walk to the park when he would always be quick to offer her a ride. Sure, it's only a ten-minute walk from her house, but he always says something along the lines that not everyone is as kind as they seem. 

It's April, and the flowers are in full bloom. She hears the birds singing, and she swears they sing of the beauty of the flowers. It's also bee season, meaning lots will be around the park, and as much as she loves them, Harry has a big fear of them. Y/N has mentioned various times that they don't mean to harm him; it can just happen. Especially if they get startled.

Y/N takes note of a new flower; it's a small white four-petaled flower that grows in fragrant clusters. They smell divine, but she knows she has never seen them. She really wishes she had her father's polaroid on her to take a photo and show her mother. Any other day she would turn back to do just that, but Harry is waiting on her. 

She walks to the back of the park where Harry has claimed their spot, their initials carved in the bench make sure of that. He's standing next to the viola's, and they stand dull next to Harry. 

"Hiya, angel." Harry greets hands hiding behind his back.

"Hello." She greets softly; Harry can easily note she's nervous. Any other time she would have given him the biggest hug, but right now is keeping an appropriate distance. 

"Are you nervous?" He teases, which honestly calms her down because if he's teasing her, it surely means he doesn't want to break up so she can toss that idea right out. 

The last few ideas left are that it's an important anniversary and she's forgotten, or he just wanted to be romantic. 

She hopes it's the latter. 

"Not so much anymore." She replies truthfully, stepping closer, desperately wanting to give him a hug. He looks warm in his knitted baby blue sweater; she knows it was a Christmas gift from his grandmother, his new favorite. 

 If he's not wearing his cardigan, he's wearing his varsity jacket, but it's at the dry cleaners because when it's not in his possession, it's in hers. She likes the heaviness of it, how small it makes her look. Harry is the perfect height, standing at what she thinks is 6'0, but she can't be too sure. His broad shoulders only seem to grow stronger each summer after returning from two weeks of football camp. At this point, she wears his varsity jacket more than he does. Sure, she can get an academic one she has more than enough patches to choose from, but it just isn't the same; besides, she rather spend her money on books and records. 

Harry tells her his favorite thing about her wearing his jacket is that it has his last name. He knows marriage is long down the line, but he does hope to share the same last name one day. 

It's his most prominent dream.

But currently, his big dream at the age of seventeen is asking the prettiest girl to prom. 

Harry brings his hands forward to reveal a dozen lavender roses in his hand. Y/N gasps at their beauty, not at all expecting this. They are gorgeous, and she can't wait to show them off to her mom as soon as she gets home. 

"My love," Harry starts closing the gap between them and bringing her left hand to his lips to place a soft kiss before setting it back down to rest close to his heart that is beating just for her. "Will you do me the honor of being my date to prom?"

She smiles wide, not at all expecting him to ask, let alone for it to be this romantic and intimate. 

"Yes, of course." She wraps her arms around his neck, and Harry spins her around, letting out a small holler of excitement. 

"The roses are beautiful; they must have cost you a pretty penny," Y/N tells him as soon as he sets her down so she can admire them again.

"Well, darling. You're worth every one. It also pays that your mom gets on well with the town's florist." 

She giggles, nodding. 

"Now, how about we walk over to my car and celebrate with a make-out." Harry wiggles his eyebrows at her, knowing he needs very little to convince her. 

"Harry!" She chastises, looking around to see if anyone heard, but the park is empty, not a soul in sight. "How about we take a stroll around the park, then we'll see afterward." 

"You're a little tease, love." She leans in and pecks his lips two times. He tries for a third, but she hurries off. 

"Come on, dove. We've got to see the rest of the flowers that are blooming." Y/N's voice is full of excitement at the chance of walking around the park for the next hour, hand in hand with her boyfriend. 

Harry grins happily, following after her, he may be young, but he knows he will do whatever is in his power to always see her happy and smiling.

JUNE 1998 - HOME

"Dad!" She yells as soon as she walks in the door; she sees him stand quickly from his seat on the couch and embraces her in a big hug.

"My baby is home." He whispers. 

"I missed you." 

"I missed you too, sweetheart."

"How was work?" 

"Awful, when I knew I had my two favorite girls at home waiting for me."

Y/N laughs. "Always a sap, dad." 

Her mother makes her presence known. "This is a lovely sight. I've missed it." 

"Yes, as have I." Her father gives her one last kiss to her head and lets her go. 

"Any plans?" Her mother questions walking back from the kitchen, placing a cup of tea for Y/N on an old family coaster. 

Y/N takes a seat on the couch, as do both her parents wanting to carry on the conversation.

"I'm meeting Sarah and Sydney for breakfast one of these days, most likely going to spend the entire day together. Then, everyone else won't be coming around until the week after. Think it will be on Friday, seeing as that is what worked for everyone's schedule. 

"Happy to see your friends." Her mom states, the wide smile on Y/N’s face confirming her statement.

"Yes, chatting isn't as easy as when we were in high school seeing each other that day. There are lots of emails sent back and forth between us." 

"Glad you girls stayed closed. Was worried you would all drift away." She reaches forward to squeeze Y/N's knee. 

Y/N knew she meant it about Harry. How no one thought anything would come between them that they would make it through university and settle down soon after. Oh, how wrong they all were. As much as they hoped for the best, they were each other's downfall. 

"It's a bit late; I'm going to shower and head to bed instead."

"Before you go, can I say something?"

Y/N recognizes the gleam in her mother's eye and nods, knowing she has to get this off her chest. 

"It's sadly a man's world out there, but you have managed to make it your own." She reaches forward and takes Y/N's hand in hers, pressing a gentle kiss before settling it in her lap. Y/N smiles. "I know you long to love and share it with someone, and I want you to remember that the person for you is out there. As a mother, I know these things, and I wish you nothing but the greatest things in life, but they all come when we are ready for it."

Tears well up in Y/N's eyes, she nods. Not replying to her mother's words because she knows if she speaks, she will cry. 

"Lorelai, you made her cry." He whispers, pulling both women into a squished hug. 

"I've always had your father, and I hope you find that someone for yourself." 

She pulls back and wipes her tears away. "Thank you." Y/N leaves her parents with a final hug.

She heads up the stairs to the room that holds all the memories she has kept locked away. In her home, there are no longer any photos of her friends or of him. Not like before, where they were spotted on every wall displayed for all to see. Her mother took them off after she left for university. It broke her mother's heart to see her suffer such a big heartbreak. Harry had become like another son to her parents, so they were all sharing the heartbreak. She missed everything about him, but it has been years since they last spoke. 

It's been eight years since they last talked, last kissed but not the last she's thought of him. He's coming for the time capsule opening, and as much as she tries to convince herself she's going to be alright, she knows she's not. Yes, she's moved on. She has built a life without him in it, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. 

All she can do is count the days until she leaves Aurora and goes back to the comfort of her apartment in Massachusetts. 

____

It's been a week since she's been home, and she knows everyone will show up in two days. The friends she was sure she'd never lose touch with but slowly did with time no matter how each tried, but life moves on. 

Y/N is nervous to see everyone. She's changed in the last eight years, but so has everyone else. She misses what they used to have in high school but honestly, getting to hear what everyone has been up to will be fun. Who knows, it might feel as if not time has passed at all? 

She met up with Sarah and Sydney earlier for breakfast at the old dinner. The girls spent a good five minutes embraced in a hug before they took their seats. They ordered too much to eat but, to no surprise, finished it all by the end of their conversation. 

The time together was spent mostly catching up and jumping from topic to topic. She did feel she was asked one too many questions about starting her residency and how they will be addressing her as a "doctor."

Y/N brought up Sarah's love life wanting to hear how they were doing. Sarah and Mitch did not start dating until after graduating high school, finding out they were going to the same university just an hour away from their hometown. Everyone was aware of Mitch's heart eyes for Sarah, but she was too focused on her internship, always wanting to do good. One can imagine how happy everyone was when news spread that Sarah asked Mitch out and was quick to say yes. Now eight years later, were happily moved in together. Sarah is a music engineer, and Mitch a music teacher at the local high school; as mellow as Mitch is, he gets on well with the teens. 

Having focused on love and Sydney quickly saying nothing new was going on with her, just that she was more in love than she could have ever imagined, it was time to hound Y/N, it seems. They asked about her love life and how good-looking the boys in Massachusetts are.

Y/N told them how nonexistent her love life has been since she graduated high school. It's not something she ever made time for, and her friends understand as much as they hate that for her. Sydney did not stop herself from making a joke on what seems to be Y/N's long dry spell. She shrugged it off, not at all bothered. Y/N assured them she knows how to take care of her own needs until the right person comes along. They all knew who she hoped would be the right person, but they knew better than to bring him up.

Once again, there was a change of pace. Sarah surprised them with tickets to Spice Girls at a sold-out Madison Square Garden concert on July first. Six tickets, a perfect number for their friend group. It was perfect, honestly. Sarah figured they'd road trip up the last week of June and could stay in Y/N's shared apartment with her roommate, who would not be home yet. Then take a train up to New York for the show. Also, told them they'd have hotel rooms for the night already, having an idea there would be an after-party. Y/N was all for it as was Sydney. 

Y/N has always loved concerts; it's something she saves for not bothered to spend some money to enjoy a great show for one of her favorite artists, especially in good company. The long queues were a downfall, but not everything is perfect. She has gone to concerts and knows that one can make the best experience out of floor seats and nosebleeds. Artists never fail to amaze. 

It reminds her of the first concert she ever went to that Harry took her to their senior year. The ticket stub she has pinned next to a polaroid that a stranger offered to take for them. It was before the show, and they had matching grins. It's still one of her favorites, and the reason she doesn't take it down is too good of a memory to keep hidden away. 

While seeing Sarah and Sydney was good and everything she hoped it would be, it did not prepare her to see the others. She had not talked to Zac in a long while, having no idea what he was up to. Mitch is quiet and only says hello when she has called with Sarah and Harry; well, it's like she doesn't exist to him. Not since their last day together. 

Y/N has two days to prepare.

Two days to wrap her head around the fact that she's going to see Harry. 

AUGUST 1989 - SENIOR YEAR

Many people told her to enjoy her high school years because they would fly by, and she accepted the advice and made memories to last a lifetime in the three years leading up to her senior year. Her friends and family have made each year memorial. Still, there is something about senior year, and knowing that it is their last year before university has her excited and anxious. 

Harry repeatedly told her how he wanted it to be their best year yet and promised to do just that. She has no doubt in her mind he will accomplish that in whatever way. He's managed to do so year after year. 

Harry made sure to pick her up each morning, never wanting her to worry about walking alone to school or arriving late. He made sure he knocked on her door every morning.

Depending on the time he showed up, he was ushered in for a homemade breakfast, or sometimes he said a quick hello before grabbing her hand and rushing out the door because they were running behind schedule, and Harry knew he could not make her arrive late. 

One thing that was always constant was how he carried her bag to his car and opened her door. He made sure she was settled before reaching down for his morning kiss. Sometimes, he went as far as putting on her seatbelt, just wanting to be close to her. 

Today was Monday, and he usually comes in, but today he selfishly told her to grab him a slice of toast because he was in a hurry. She didn't question him and sent her apologies. Her mom kissed her cheek and told her not to worry about it. A true angel, her mother was.  

Harry slipped her bag over his shoulder before ushering her in. She felt a little flustered with his urgency but let him be. He stole a quick kiss before going to the driver's seat. 

"What's got you in a rush today?" She asks, genuinely worried. 

He smirks, looking over at her. He seems calm, not that they've driven away from her house. "Thought we could use the extra time for some kisses. You deprived me this Sunday." He pouts at her, waiting for the light to turn green. 

"H, you know I have dinner with my grandparents one Sunday a month." She chastises him.

"I know, darling, doesn't mean I like it." He tells her. "Had to suffer a Sunday alone." 

"Well, at least I know how I can make it up to you." She teases. 

Arriving at school, Harry parks toward the back under a shady tree, one far away from everyone. 

"Want to sit on my lap, baby?" He asks, spreading his thighs, and as much as she wants to, she shouldn't knowing very well what he can convince her to do when in his lap. 

"Later, H." She promises. 

"I'm holding you to that, angel." He unclips her seatbelt, quickly placing his lips on hers. 

She feels how smooth his lips are and knows he stole her cherry lip balm again. "Harry, that's the third lip balm you've taken in two weeks." She pulls away, rubbing her thumb over his bottom lip that he juts out. He gives her thumb a soft kiss. 

"Swear I was going to put it back this time." He moves closer, placing a kiss on her neck, slowly trailing down, pushing his varsity jacket down her shoulder, exposing more of her neck. Her black corduroy pants and white acrylic sweater, and her favorite worn-out Mary Jane's mother have been begging her to change out. She likes to think it adds an extra flair to her outfit. "You drive me crazy when you wear my jacket," He whispers in her ear.

"Does that mean you're always going crazy?" She whispers back, knowing he mostly wears the jacket during game days. 

"Always make me lose my mind." 

After a fun half-hour of making out, Y/N pushes him back, knowing she has matching bruised lips. She loves that everyone can see what she did to him. She also may have sucked a little too hard on the skin right below his collar, the love bite just barely visible. She pulls down the sun visor, looking in the mirror to straighten out her hair, that Harry just loves digging his fingers into. 

"Baby, what did you do?" Harry says, looking at the fresh mark just by his collar bone. 

She smirks, knowing very well that Harry loves when she marks him. Not doing it very often in fear of getting caught by their parents. 

"Got to remind those girls that stare at you who you belong to." She reapplies her lip balm before layering the new lip gloss her mom got for her the other day. 

"You know I've only got eyes for you, love." He says, caressing her cheek softly. 

His gentle tone of voice always makes her soft, but it also might be that his accent seems to stand out even more. 

"I know, H." She leans in to give him one more kiss but pulls back quick enough to not let him deepen it. 

"Sneaky, baby." He clicks his tongue at her, rushing out and rounding the car to open her door, offering her his hand. 

She gladly accepts it, placing a kiss on both cheeks before landing on his lips. 

"I love you, Styles." She whispers against his lips, eyes closed as she tries to catch her breath. 

"And I love you, my darling angel." He softly nuzzles her nose, causing her to let out a small giggle. 

"Let's get you to class." He says, throwing his arm over her shoulder pulling her in close. 

Harry is smiling wide; she takes notice as she looks up. He looks extra giddy. 

Too giddy, and it has nothing to do with their steamy make-out. 

She narrows her eyes at him, "what's got you extra smiley?" 

"Nothing, happy all the time."

"Nuh, uh. Styles. I know you. Fess up!" She stops walking, wanting him to answer her.

"It's because my girl marked me up today for all to see. Makes me feel special." He answers smoothly. 

Y/N looks at him in suspicion, not buying a single word he's saying, "I'm onto you, Styles."

Harry lets out a deep breath before stepping close to her. "Let me surprise you, darling." 

She instantly relaxes. "Okay, only because you know I like surprises."

"Thank you." He rests his forehead against her, happy to be in her space, forgetting all around him until he hears a shout of his name. 

Moment over, it seems.

"Let's get you to English Literature," Harry murmurs, intertwining his hand with hers making sure she's close by as Sarah greets her.

_____

It's lunchtime when they walk hand in hand to the lunch tables where Mitch and Sarah sit, stalling their conversion to greet them. Before she can take a seat next to Sarah, Harry pulls her in his lap. He leans in close to her ear and whispers that he'll give her his chocolate chip cookies Anne had baked. She silently agrees, grabbing the bag Harry was offering her. What he didn't disclose is that his mum had sent them specifically for her. They have three empty seats, but she can see Zac and Sydney approaching, carrying food trays. Meaning, neither had lunch prepared for the day. 

Y/N leans back against Harry getting comfortable, knowing that he wouldn't be letting her go any time soon. The chatter begins with how their weekend went and what this week's activities are. She knows she doesn't have much to do this week; her club meetings don't meet until next week. Harry has football practice all week, meaning she either visits the library or finds a ride home. She doesn't mind staying and watching his training, but Harry hates knowing she sits there alone for so long. He rather have her be home warm and cozy than on the cold bleachers.

Harry asks for her attention by placing a kiss on her neck, his tell sign that he's feeling left out. 

"Yes, H," She whispers for only him to hear. 

"Need your attention. Don't like sharing." 

"You're extra needy this Monday, dove." Y/N has his hands in her lap as she begins to trace circles on his palm; it's something that soothes him instantly. 

"I just want to know our plans this weekend." He kisses her cheek, nuzzling his face in her neck. "Rather you get parent permission early on than last-minute giving them a chance to say no." 

Harry's right; there are occasions where her parents have said no, and Y/N finds herself sneaking out from her window that conveniently has an old tree that makes it all the easier. 

Her parents trust them together, but if they really knew what happened behind locked doors, they would think otherwise.

"Do you want to go kiss a little?" He wants her to say yes. 

"At your car or in the abandoned hallway?" 

"What's quieter?" 

"The hallway, and it's closer." 

Harry nods, gently grabbing her waist and helping her stand. "We'll see you later," Harry says, interrupting their conversations. 

"Oh, Styles, you've corrupted her." Zac teases very well, grasping what they were about to go do.

"Think she's corrupted me. Who knew angels could be so dangerous?" Harry teases in front of their friends. 

Y/N feels her face warm, bidding them all a quiet goodbye. Harry, having rendered her a bit speechless. She swears she never knows what is going to come out of his mouth. 

Harry all but drags her to the hallway. He gently pushes her back against the wall next to an older poster for the school play. Y/n glances down at his lips before looking into his eyes.

"Did you really bring me here to kiss, or are you spilling the surprise?" Her eyes are big and filled with hope. 

"Sorry, baby. Really did want some kisses from you." He pulls her closer wanting no space in between them. "Really missed you. Can't believe we only have one class together." 

"It's like they know you wouldn't pay attention to me in a class with you." She teases.

"Kissy." He pouts his lips, feeling like they've talked enough. 

Who is she to deny him when he asks so sweetly. 

Y/N always felt like time stopped when she kissed Harry. She felt her heart pounding in her chest as her knees grew weak, and as if Harry knew, he wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her up. Harry pulls away slowly, a smile growing on his face. He would never tire of kissing her. 

Harry leans in and nuzzles his head in the crook of her necks, slowly beginning to place kiss after kiss before he finds his favorite spot and begins to suck lightly, pulling a surprised moan from her. 

She pushes him back. "No love bites that high. It will keep us locked up in the house all weekend supervised. 

Harry tenses at the thought, knowing fully well her parents would do that, having done it before when they first started dating, and he thought more with the thing in his pants than his brain. "I guess I'll just have to bruise these pretty lips."

Never one to tell him no, a small nod is enough to make Harry lean in and take her breath away. He'd kiss her forever if he could, but the last fifteen minutes of lunch break would have to do for now. 

_____

Monday's always drag on; she goes home, does homework, reads a book, and waits for dinner to be ready. Most days, she joins her mother in cooking; both like conversing about their days. More than ever, they have lots to talk about, from holiday plans to the universities she is applying for. She has saved up allowance allowing her to use it for more universities than the average three. If it was up to her, she'd send one to all the universities because that is how confident she is not only about her grades but how she comes off as a student on paper. 

Dumping most of her books in her locker, she keeps Calculus in her bag, knowing the sooner that homework gets done, the less stress she'll have. Just as she shuts her locker, she hears footsteps approaching her. 

"Is my girl ready to go?" 

"She is." 

Harry swings his arm over her shoulder, and they begin to walk out the school doors that are kept wide open. There are groups of students lingering talking to another, and in the distance can hear cars driving away eager to get away. 

Y/N smiles at a girl who sends her a wave, recognizing her from her English course. Harry walks them under a tree, a reasonable distance away from everyone because, as she has come to know, he likes kissing her in private. 

"Our first game is in two weeks." Harry reminds her.

"Yes, exciting." 

"Will you be there, or is there a test to study for?" He teases. 

She frowns and takes him by the lapels of his varsity jacket that she gave back to him at the end of lunch because she claimed it was losing his smell. 

"Don't start, Harry. You know I've never missed a game, and I won't start now." 

"Was only teasing, love." 

"Didn't like it." 

"Sorry, love. Forgive me? He pouts, wanting her to smile at him instead of frown. 

"You know my price." Y/N shrugs. 

He sighs, nodding his head three times before moving to get on his knees, toying with unbuttoning her pants. 

She gasps and jumps away. "Harry!"

Harry can't help but smirk, "Isn't that always the price."

"I just wanted a kiss; no need to make a scene." He shrugs. "Now, don't you have a practice to get to?"

"Ugh, I do." Harry groans, dreading practice knowing the coach likes to run them twice as much for not working out on the weekends. 

"Give me a kiss, please. Then you'll come by later, right?"

"That is correct." He leans in, giving her three consecutive pecks on her lips. 

"Who's taking you home again?" He asks, wanting to make sure she's safe. 

"Sarah and Mitch." 

"Right, good. Well, off I go, poppet." 

"Bye." 

Harry turns and heads toward the field, where he can see the freshman already setting up drills and getting the water jug out to the bench. He's only taken a few steps when his angel's voice stops him. 

"Dove," 

Harry can feel his cheeks turn bright red at the term of endearment. He turns and takes two steps back to her. "Yes, lovie." 

"Will you give me one more kiss?" Her voice soft and innocent but the gleam in her eye is anything but that. 

Harry takes the last step towards her and holds her face with both hands reaching down and kissing her passionately. He pulls away after what feels like a lifetime, slowly as he tries to steady his breathing. 

"I love you," she whispers.

He presses a final kiss to her forehead. "And I love you." Harry turns and begins to jog away, recognizing he's got a limited time to get dressed and out on the field to warm up. He's a few feet away but turns his head to see her watching him still. "Tell your mom I'll be joining you for dinner." 

She nods, letting him know she heard him before he turns a corner and out of her eyesight. Only then does she go in search of her waiting friends who will bring her home. 

______

After Y/N informed her mother that Harry was going to join them for dinner, she got up to cook, wanting everything to be ready for when her father and Harry arrived, seeing it would be around the same time.

Y/N made herself scarce as her mother was in no mood to converse. Instead, she wanted to cook, and maybe if she planned her time accordingly, she would do dessert. 

Dinner time came around quickly, meaning she was lost in homework for a good few hours. She walked downstairs wanting to help her mom set the table when the front door swung open. 

"Hello, father!" Y/N bounced over to him, giving him a big hug and a peck on his cheek, one that he happily returned.

"Hi, my sweet girl." 

"Mom cooked a delicious dinner. We're just waiting on Harry." Y/N told him, knowing he's hungry from a long day at work.

"Won't have to wait long; Harry was just parking when I was on the steps." 

Y/N's eyes lit up at hearing that he arrived. Her father chuckled, "I'll go say hello to my wife, dinner in ten, okay." 

Y/N walks out to see Harry coming up the stairs in a cozy blue emblem sweater with denim Levi jeans and paired with his old white Chuck All-Stars. She smiled because he went home to shower, not wanting to wear his clothes from earlier or come over smelling like sweat, not that she minded. 

"You know we don't mind the sweat, H," She tells him as he's climbing up the last few steps. 

He shrugs. "I know, but I am a guest in your home and would never dare disrespect your parents and you, of course." 

Y/N grins. "Four years dating, and you continue to prove to be the most perfect boyfriend." 

Harry looks away, feeling bashful. "I wouldn't go that far." 

"I would, dove." Y/N closes the gap between them. "Now, I say you kiss me before mom calls us in for dinner." 

"It would be my greatest pleasure." 

____

Dinner was a success, conversation always flowing well. Y/N likes to sit back and listen to her parents talk with Harry as if they hadn't seen him in forever when he is more than likely to be here every other day. Her father is a big fan of football; he too was once a player. No, he wasn't quarterback; he was right-wing and helped his team make it to state championships. 

The high school team has won three state championships since Harry's first year as a freshman. They counted on making it the fourth year; no doubt in anybody's mind it would happen. Y/N picked up on her father's excitement going on and on about the first game and how it was the most important one now that scouts would be coming out more and more. Without a second thought, she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh, lightly squeezing, reassuring Harry she was there for him. He slowly turned the hand on his thigh palm up and intertwined them together. 

"Thank you so much for dinner, Lorelai. Luke, thank you for the great conversation. I can't wait to see you both at the game."

"We wouldn't dare miss it, Harry," Lorelai tells him, a wide grin on her face as she picks up the dishes. 

"Now go on; I'll help your mother with the dishes tonight." Luke gestures to them to get up and get their privacy. Y/N thanks him and takes Harry's hand, leading the way up the stairs. 

Now they are lying on her bed, it's got enough space for them to be spread out, but she prefers to lay across Harry, her head on his chest as he rests his head on her pillows. 

Harry had his hand in her hair, always calming for her and for him. Allows them to sit in comfortable silence, basking in the joy of being together. 

Many people ask them if they ever get sick of seeing each other every day and never giving each other space after dating for so long. That isn't entirely true because when they aren't at their respective extracurricular activities, they are found together. Harry's response is always, "she's my favorite person." Y/N just shrugs and smiles, "he's my best friend." 

Believe it or not, they spent around in her room listening to music or in his house watching movies from their grand VHS collection. Most thought they spent it making it out, not that they don't do that because they are just as in love as when they got together four years ago. When they walked into any room, her parents were sure they would be kissing, which is why the open door policy exists. Well, half-open is the agreement now. 

Harry looks around her room, his eyes settling on the polaroid photo on her bedside table, one of them smiling at each other, lost in their own worlds. It's dated 06-18-1989<i<, it was from one of their many summer days spent together. He decided now was as good as time to bring up what he had been hiding. 

"You know how we were making plans for the weekend, sweetheart."

"Yes, you didn't let us decide on anything." 

"Well, what if I did?"

She sits up and moves to sit in front of him. "Okay, I'm all ears. 

"You up for a drive?"

"Always, so drive me to the moon, please." 

Harry laughs. "Serious for a sec, baby."

"Sorry, yes, go on then." She interrupts him once more. "How far is the drive? You're not always the best driver."

"Ouch" Harry has his hand over his heart, feigning as if her words had pierced him. "Guess I won't tell you."

"That's fine." 

"Yeah. Is it?" 

"Yup." 

"Why's that?" He's confused; she's usually begging to know by now. 

"Simple, because I just won't give you any kisses."

"That's cruel."

"Oh well. I don't play fair." 

"Think you can resist me, sweetheart?" 

"Oh, I know I can." 

Harry shakes his head, response ready, but she stops him. "Remember who asked who out five different times."

"That's because you were playing hard to get. Claiming you just wanted to be friends for a little longer." 

"That was tru-" It's his turn to stop her.

 "Ah, yes, I know. I was getting impatient. Don't know if you know this or not, darling, but I had to scare off a lot of boys. 

"Trust me, H. I knew" 

"You did?" 

"Yes, I think it was because everyone knew sooner or later I was going to put you out of your misery."

"Yeah, by saying yes." 

"Oh no, I was going to say no."

"What changed?" Clearly, something had, and he just had to know. 

"You decided to show up at school wearing your Sunday best and brought me sunflowers. Told me they reminded you how much light I brought into your life. There I decided yes, he'll make a fine boyfriend."

Harry's smile is big, dimples on display just for her. Always for her. "You tease too much."

"But you love it."

"I do." He leans in and smiles as she lets him lead the kiss. It's slow and full of love. A love that only continues to grow each moment they are together. "I really do."

Y/N leans in, wanting to give him more kisses, wanting to be connected to him, wanting him to always feel her love. She's not sure how much time has passed when Harry pulls away. 

"You do realize we got sidetracked." 

"Yes, worth it if you ask me." She looks pleased. "Now you have to tell me, I gave you kisses."

Harry runs his thumb over her bottom lip, asking for another. She puckers her lips leaning forward, and connects their lips in a short soft kiss.

"Friday night, the Forum."

Y/N's eyes go wide; she was not expecting to hear that.

"No."

"Yes."

She sits there taking it in.

"Say it, baby." Harry likes that he managed to surprise her. 

"You got us tickets for Elton John." She whispers out, her eyes now locked with his needing him to confirm it.

"Yes, I did." 

"A sold-out show."

"Think it's going to be a fun night."

"How?" Although Y/N has an idea.

"Well, I called in on a favor with our dear friend Sarah and the radio station she's interning at." 

"I love her." She breathes out.

"Hey," Harry knocks her out of her gaze. "And me." 

"Of course, I love you." She moves forward, seating herself in his lap. "I love you. I can't believe you did this for me." 

"Yes, can't let you go off to uni without experiencing a concert." 

"You are perfect, Styles."

"Perfect for you."

There's so much love in between them; if anyone walked into the room, they'd be able to feel it. 

"Wait." Her hands now resting on his chest, a frown taking over her face. "How are we going to convince my parents." 

"Already done. Told them the plan and the itinerary, and your parents have agreed." 

"Perfect, I'm telling." 

"Is this why we're walking to school tomorrow?" She remembers him telling her he won't have his car. 

"Yes, taking it to the mechanic. I just want to make sure all is okay." 

"Marry me?" 

Harry can feel his cheeks warming up; she always makes him blush. He takes hold of her left hand and brings it up to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on her ring finger. 

"All in good time, my love."

_____

The week had dragged on, but it was finally Friday. She had been excited all week, and everyone could tell. Told her how she was jumpier, a lot more smiley, and twice as affectionate with Harry. She was happy.

She's at home getting ready; they would be leaving soon. Seeing as it was still a bit of a drive and no doubt would get stuck in traffic, seeing as they aren't the only ones attending the show. 

Y/N had gone over outfit after outfit until she finally decided on what she is wearing now. She's wearing a deep red power shoulder tucked into her favorite high-waist denim that makes her waist and butt look extra good. 

As she walks down the stairs, she hears the door and knows Harry is here to take her away. No matter what, he always stepped up to the door to pick her up; it still made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. 

Her father is at the door speaking with Harry going over her extended rules and what numbers to call for an emergency. 

"Well, aren't you a dream," Harry looks her up and down; she does a slow spin for him on the heel of her black boots to give him the full look. "I'm a lucky man." 

"Glad you know it, H." 

She grabs hold of his brown leather jacket and runs her finger down it, it's an old one, but he takes such good care of it; one would think he just got it today. 

"Think you just took my breath away, H." She swears there are hearts in her eyes as she takes him in.

"That's exactly what I was going for." 

Harry and Y/N bid her parents goodbye; they wish them a safe journey. Her mother was excited to send her off; her father was a bit more worried but trusted Harry to keep her safe. 

The drive to the arena is filled with conversation over the upcoming year, Harry's final football season, and her volunteering hours how she was hoping to be accepted into the NICU's internship at their hospital. Also, lots of singing on the radio as well as Harry's CDs. From ABBA to Shania Twain, he had, but they settled on Elton John for the ride. 

In what feels like no time, they had arrived. Y/N is amazed at how big it is; she doesn't know much about the place just from what Sarah told her that it was large and no matter where she sat, she was going to have the best time of her life. Already having Harry at her side, she had no doubt about it. She can't stop smiling, and neither can Harry.

Harry grabs her hand as they both stare at the arena, where hundreds of people are lining up to enter. 

"Ready, love." 

"Yes, gosh. I might throw up from the excitement." 

"Oh no, let's get you a pop. It'll help."

"That sounds nice." Y/N leans up and gives him a gentle kiss. "Thank you, H." 

"Angel, I am more than happy to do this for you." 

Hand in hand, they walked into the arena, ready to sing their hearts out together. 

_____

Two hours of singing and dancing her heart off, and yet it still wasn't enough to tire Y/N out. Harry was sure she'd be clinging to his arm as he pulled her out of the arena, but she had asked him to wait out the crowd, and they stood in the emptying arena, arms around each other. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, and it was still pumping hard. He kissed her lips one final time before swinging his arm over her shoulder and guiding them out to the chilly Los Angeles air. 

Y/N was all smiles, and she thinks it has to do with the man whose curls have fallen flat from all the sweating they did inside the arena. Being in a room packed around thousands of people will do that. She has never been in such a happy and united environment. 

It's a memory she's going to cherish forever. 

The drive home is full of retelling of their favorite parts of the night. Harry decided his was when Y/N turned to kiss him during "Your Song." He felt himself fall in love with her all over again. It's a feeling he never wants to end. 

Y/N's had to have been each outfit change. There were so many that she lost track, but she loved how unique each outfit was. It's something she knew she could never pull off, but she admired the beauty of each one. It was over the top and full of colors; it kept her mesmerized. It reminded her of life and how filled with color it really is. Also, when Harry sang his heart out during "Tiny Dancer." How he knew every lyric and didn't miss a beat, if she's honest, she didn't bother looking at the stage for the entire song too entranced in Harry. 

The smile does not leave their face, not during the traffic of getting on the freeway, not when they stopped by McDonald's and got burgers and decided to share a coke, and not even when they saw the sign welcoming back into Aurora. 

Y/N's smile didn't drop until Harry parked his car right in front of her house. She sits back against the seat and turns her head to already find a bashful Harry smiling at her. 

"Come here." He whispers. 

She unbuckles and sits in his lap, it may have been a few hours, but she missed being this close to him. 

Y/N didn't wait for Harry to ask; she simply leaned in and connected his strawberry lips with hers. She loved how soft they always were, and she knew she'd keep letting him steal her lip balms if they did such an excellent job keeping them soft and tasting sweet; then again, that could be all Harry. She lets out a small moan when Harry swipes his tongue on her bottom lip, asking for entrance, and she happily grants it. 

She wishes she can stay here forever, in his arms, kissing his lips, never having to stop. 

"Baby," Harry breathes against her lips.

Y/N knows what he's going to say; she's not ready to say goodnight. Instead, she keeps kissing him. "Just a little longer." She mutters against his lips.

Harry can't bring himself to pull away again and nods, allowing her to take control. He has a tight grip on her thigh, he wishes to move it higher, but he knows if he does, she won't be going inside tonight. She moves her lips down his jaw pressing gentle kisses.

"You drive me crazy." 

"Feelings mutual, darling." 

Harry pulls her back up and kisses her plush mouth. She tastes sweet, something he never pinpoints; all he knows is that it's intoxicating. He presses one final kiss on her lips and pulls back. She's breathing heavy, a large grin on her face. He knows he looks just as dazed. 

"Think you got to get inside now." 

"Don't want to leave you." She grabs a fist of his jacket, pulling herself closer. 

"I'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

She pouts. "Why so late?"

"Because you're going to want to sleep in." He brushes a bit of her hair away, she leans into his touch; she loves how delicate each touch is. 

"What if you come early and then cuddle me? Mom won't turn you away."

"She might."

"Not after I walk in and tell her how amazing the night was." She cups his cheeks, rubbing her thumb affectionately on his smooth skin. "She's got a sweet spot for you."

"And you." He reminds her. 

"Well, of course. I'm her daughter." She laughs but knows she hasn't convinced him. "Please," she whispers. She flashes him her best puppy dog look, knowing he won't be able to resist.

"Fine. I'll be here at eight, darling." 

"Perfect." She gloats. 

"Let me walk you up." 

Harry helps her back into the passenger seat so they can both head out. He grabs her hand, pulling her in close, not wanting her far for the last moments he has her. 

"You want to know something, H." She whispers, keys in her hand.

"What is it, angel?"

"I want to travel the world with you."

"The world." He gasps. "It's a big place, baby. Where would we start?" 

"London got to see the place you grew up before moving here. Of, course we'll save up and just spend the year traveling wherever life takes us."

"That sounds perfect." 

She hums, deep in thought, picturing visiting all these places she's only dreamed of with him by her side. To see the Eiffel tower, walk the streets of Scotland, and swim in the Amalfi Coast waters. 

"Dove," He hums, playing with a loose string of her jeans. "Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere you want. I'll make sure to take you wherever you want to go." 

"Take me to the stars, dovie."

"As you wish, my sweet angel." 

Harry brings his right hand up to her face and gently cups her cheek; she sighs, knowing precisely what he's going to do. She tilts her head up and feels his lips against her. It's the softest kiss of the night; it's gentle. It's her favorite kiss, the goodnight kiss, a promise to see her tomorrow. 

She breaks away the first time tonight, knowing if he kept going a moment longer, she wouldn't let him go. "Goodnight, H," She whispers as she begins to open the door. 

"Goodnight, love." 

Harry turns and walks to his car as he hears the door shut and hears her turn the lock. Once in his car, he takes a look up at her window, sends a final smile as he sees her waving him off.

He feels so much joy always being around her, but tonight it seems to have multiplied by a hundred. He knew tonight was perfect, but his favorite part wasn't even at the concert; it was standing outside her door as they spoke of their future together.

Happiness isn't always about the big moments but also about these small moments that make them feel invincible.

JUNE 1998

Y/N grabs a book from her bookshelf, not bother glancing at which one knowing if she stopped to read each title, she would be there all day. She heads to the yard, a picnic blanket tucked under her arm, so she can lay on it and soak in a bit of the sun. 

Her mother is trimming the leaves of the roses, wanting the flower to pop out more. Her father usually helps her, but he's finishing up last-minute work before coming out to join them. He has a good view of them from his office window. When she was young, he told her he chose this room because it's where her mom spends all her time, and he likes having his eye on her as she joins the beauty of her flowers. Y/N's known love all her life, and she's happy her parents have each other, but she can't help but feel like she let that one-of-a-kind love go years ago and fears she'll never find it again.

As she settles down on her blanket, she decides to rid herself of all thoughts and instead get lost in the words of Stephen King. She picked up a psychological horror. She remembers her father mentioning it was a good read and that she'd enjoyed it. Two pages in, and she knows she's hooked; it looks like she will be laying out here all day. 

At least that's what she thought when her mother interrupted her. 

"When are you meeting everyone?" 

Y/N puts the book down on her chest and looks over at her mom, who's still got her eyes on her roses. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"When are you meeting everyone?" Her mother repeats herself.

"Tomorrow."

"Time, darling?" 

"At one."

She hums in response. "I leave you in charge, and please be watchful over my roses." 

"Of course, I would never think of damaging your roses. Well, my roses, really." Y/N corrects. 

"Just because they were planted in your honor does not mean they are yours. You've cared for them for such little time."

"Excuse me, mother. I went off to university, but once I'm done and ready to settle down, I will be doing all the caring."

"Yes, because you will have time as a doctor." Her mother responds sarcastically. 

"I will be able to." 

Her mother decided to move on, knowing how stubborn Y/N can be. "Your father and I have lunch and dinner plans out of town, so you'll have the house to yourself for most of the day and night."

"You're treating me like I'm sixteen again, and it's my first time having friends over." 

Her mom laughs, and Y/N can't help but join. "You're forever, my little girl."

"Cheesy." Y/N teases.

Y/N leans back and gets comfortable, all thoughts of tomorrow pushed away and instead gets lost in the town of Bridgton, Maine. 

_____

It's time; everyone is making their way over. She can feel her palms begin to sweat, thankful there's a nice breeze outside to keep her cool. Y/N and her mom cooked pasta with grilled chicken and strawberry lemonade wanting to be ready for after the digging. Y/N would feel bad making them dig a hole, open a box, then head on out. These people are her friends, and she wishes to spend time with them, and what better than with food.

She's got ten minutes before everyone is due to arrive when she hears a car pull up and turn off right in front of her house. Y/N knows of only one person who shows up early.

Harry. 

Y/N thought he would be the last to arrive, but she's guessing old habits die hard. She takes a deep breath before opening the front door and walking out.

Harry would be lying if he wasn't nervous. He's about to see Y/N for the first time after years. He's seen her in photos; he knows she only continued to become more beautiful as the years passed. It's not the same as, no, because he knows what's separating them is a walk up to the door. 

He feels precisely as he did the moment he asked her out and, if he's truthful, how she made him feel their entire relationship. Harry's 26, but his heart feels 18, and at that age, he was deeply in love with the woman inside that house. He loves her just the same.

Harry takes a long deep breath before slowly letting it out. He could do this; he got out of his car and made his way up the path, where she was already standing waiting for him. It felt like no time had passed as if he was coming over to take her on a date--except they weren't even close enough to say they were friends. 

"Harry," She breathes out as he reaches the first step. 

"Hi" He sends her a small smile. "You look great." 

Y/N feels her cheek flush, and knows he can notice now that he's right in front of her. She takes in her outfit; it's simple, just a cropped red long-sleeved tee and black pants, with an old pair of black sneakers. 

"Thank you, Harry. As do you." And he really does. He's wearing loose green denim joggers with a matching jacket. He has left it open, showing a brown button-up, a silver cross necklace peeking out from the space he left unbuttoned. "Always on time still."

"Better early than late." 

She nods, not sure if she should continue the conversation or not. Are they going to stand out here in silence? It was never this hard; she hates this. Y/N rather keep talking than let themselves stand there in silence for another eight minutes. 

She clears her throat. "How'd med school go? Have you decided on a residency yet? Anne told me you were weighing your options." 

Harry doesn't try to hide his shock. "You spoke to my mum?" He asks in disbelief. 

Y/N grins as much as his English accent is fading; it always comes back when saying 'mum,' or well, when he's nervous. 

She nods. "I visit her when I visit my family. Recently passed when I came to see my mother who was feeling down and lonely as she put it even though she has dad to keep her company."

Harry smiles, knowing what weekend she was talking about because he had come the week after, and Lorelai had told him she was no longer as lonely. He thought it might have been because of his company, but it was because her daughter was home for a weekend.

When he's about to tell her where he decided, she waits patiently, staring up at him, a shy smile on her face but stops when Sydney comes and tackles Y/N in a hug. 

"Of course, Styles got first dibs on you." Sydney fakes her exasperation. 

"He knows how to be punctual." Y/N teases. "Looks like you bring the others as always." She signals seeing two more cars park; they park in the empty driveway.

"Just like old times," Zac screams out two bottles of wines in his hands. Mitch and Sarah walk up behind him, agreeing. 

Y/N looks around, and it's almost like old times. Just one small difference that makes her heartache. 

Everyone greets each other, sharing long hugs, and it's not long after that she invites everyone in and into the backyard. 

"Mom says if we mess up her roses, we are dead meat," Y/N informs them all as they all stand in a semi-circle under the spot they buried their time capsule. 

Mitch steps and pats Harry on the back. "If anything does happen, just say it was Harold. Lorelai has a soft spot for him." 

Sarah approaches water in her hand. "Y/N is her golden child who does no wrong, easy to forgive."

Y/N laughs. "Enough. No roses will be damaged. Are we clear?" 

She gets a chorus of "yes."

"Great, there are clear instructions that only Zac and Harry are allowed to shovel. Sorry, Mitch, mom said we've got to take care of your musical hands."

Mitch nods in appreciation. 

"What about the doctor? No care for him." Harry mutters a small smile on his face.

"Quiet Styles, you're a favorite still," Zac tells him, pushing a shovel into his chest. 

Y/N's happy watching the banter; it's like she's sixteen again, and they are trying to see who could dig their side of the hole faster. 

SEPTEMBER 1988 - TIME CAPSULE 

"High school friendships aren't known to last," Zac speaks out randomly, breaking everyone out of their conversations.

Harry sighs, "You're a downer." 

"I'm a realist." 

Y/N takes this in; she hasn't thought years down the line. She just assumed they would always be in her life. She can't see herself without them.

"What if we aren't friends ten years down the road?" Y/N voices.

Harry instantly picks up the concern in her voice. "I promise I won't let that happen, lovie." He assures her. 

"H, I know." 

"It's not uncommon for others to drift, especially when everyone has a different path after high school." Sydney comments. "My sister went through it."

"Let's write a letter, and we can bury it, open it ten years, but we have to do it together," Sarah suggests.

"Not a bad idea." Everyone nods in agreement.

"Let's do a letter and something important to us." Y/N proposes already having an idea of what to put.

"It's settled. We're burying a time capsule." Harry states. 

"One problem." 

"What now, Zac?" Sarah groans. 

"Where do we bury it?"

Slowly everyone turns their gaze on to Y/N. 

"Your house," Sydney tells her. 

"You all agree?" Y/n is surprised. 

"Your mom will never leave her house. It's gorgeous."

"Also," Zac chimes in, "You love it and tell us how it's going to be yours one day."

Y/N sighs and nods. "I will ask and will let you know."

_____

It took a lot to convince her mother, but her father liked the idea and supported her. Two against one, Y/N knew her mom was in a losing fight. After lots of hugs and kisses and promises of doing the dishes for two weeks straight, she got permission. 

They had decided on a Saturday, wanting to do it early in the morning, unsure how long they would take digging the hole. Her mom designated an area for them to open. 

Her mom allowed her to have the house to themselves, trusting them not to do anything but dig a hole. Y/N had everyone promise they would be on their best behavior. 

Harry and Zac volunteered to dig, and no one argued. It took over an hour for them to get a decent-sized hole. It looked tiring, but Y/N enjoyed watching Harry's muscle flex as he threw out dirt. Finally, being satisfied with the hole size, mainly Sydney, made them go longer; it was time to place their items inside. 

Y/N rewrote her letter a few times, never knowing the right thing to say. It wasn't until she was lying on the floor of her room with Harry's head in her lap did she know what she wanted to tell her future self. 

Mitch went first, putting in his first-ever guitar pic, Sarah her Walkman, Harry followed with a copy of Romeo and Juliet, Y/N a chained rose ring, she put it in but not before giving it a small kiss knowing she'd miss it. Zac decided on his baseball mitt, and Sydney threw in a signed polaroid of herself, knowing it'd be worth a lot more once she became famous for her art.

Harry locked it shut with the final object in the box and lowered it down with Mitch's help. It fit well, and they sat around as it began to fill with dirt. 

"Ten years, we'll come back and open it up." 

"Yeah, but like summertime. I'm sure we'll have more time during the summer than other months." Zac might be right for once. 

"June 1998," Sarah suggests. 

Everyone thinks about it for a second, it feels so far away, a lifetime, really, but yes, they all agree. 

Ten years' time, they will all be digging it up and will relive these moments. 

JUNE 1998 

Harry removes his jacket half an hour in, and there is nothing to complain about. He tosses it close to her side, and Y/N knows if things were different, he would have gently thrown it at her, and without a second thought, she would have put it on. She missed the times when he loved her. Because as much as she can't admit it out loud, she still loves him. 

Now she'll fake conversation with Sydney when her real focus is on Harry and how his muscles seem to grow every time he scoops some dirt out and adds to the pile. He's grown buff over the years, he was always tall and firm in high school due to football, but now he's more defined. The most significant change was in his face, more stern. Not as smiley; it might just be due to being around her. He must hate being in her presence after she broke his heart. 

Y/N lets herself get lost in thought when Zac cheers. She looks down, and peeking out in the corner is brown wood.

"We've hit gold." 

In the next five minutes, Zac and Harry dig as much of the sides as they can, and soon enough, they are lifting it out before settling it down with a big "thump." 

Y/N can't stop eyeing it; it's got dirt in every spot that meets her eye, but she knows what's waiting for her inside of that box, and she can't wait to have it with her once more. 

"Who's going to do the honors?" Mitch asks the bolt cutters in his hand, ready to hand them over.

Everyone looks around at each other; no one says a thing until Harry steps forward and reaches to take them from his hand. Mitch hands them to Harry, no question asked. Harry heads straight to Y/N; he stretches his arm out, waiting for her to accept the cutters.

"Think it's only fair Y/N does the honors, seeing as we made her do a lot of groveling to Lorelai ten or so years ago just for us to bury this; not that she let any of us know." Harry smiles, urging her to take it. Y/N fingers brush his rather quickly, but in that small second, she felt her heart rate pick up and fears he might hear it, although that is almost impossible. 

"Thank you." He nods, urging her forward. 

"Take your time, doll." Zac says sarcastically." 

Y/N is too busy getting down on her knees in front to see the glare Harry sent Zac's way. Everyone else catches the look; believe it or not, they all hope this is the moment that brings these two once lovers back again. 

"Here goes nothing." 

Y/N places the bolt cutters between the lock and counts down to three; it breaks right off the first try.

"You've got some strength!" Sydney exclaims; she was expecting it to take much longer.

Y/N lets the lock fall before reaching up and pulling the single latch. She scans everyone circling around her before opening the crate hating the creaking sound it releases. 

There on top are their most prized items from when they were sixteen. 

Sydney reaches in first, pulling out a polaroid and pink envelope. She flips it over and lets out the biggest laugh. Sydney turns the photo around, letting everyone see her in the photo wearing her then boyfriend's varsity jacket. It has her signature on the page. "I swore I was going to be famous for my art and would sell this for thousands." 

"One day." Harry offers. 

Sydney shrugs. "My boyfriend will appreciate this the most if I'm honest."

"He's that crazy for you?" Sarah asks.

Sydney nods, a shy smile on her face. "Yeah, I'm fortunate." She laughs, letting the moment pass. "Enough, Zac, please, you're next."

Zac, for the first time the whole evening, has fallen silent, almost looks nervous to reach inside. He takes a deep breath to go to the corner of the box and pull out a beat-up baseball mitt. Y/N can see his eyes well up with tears. He chuckles, "I swore I was going to go pro, but that senior injury year changed everything. In a way, Zac felt free; he got to pursue a career in travel journalism. "Enough sap, I volunteer, Harry." 

Harry nods, moving forward, sitting next to Y/N thighs touching; she feels her breath hitch; she doesn't dare move. He reaches in for the only book it's resting on the bottom, a white envelope with a scribbled 'H' on top. He sets the envelope aside but keeps the book in hand.

Harry smiles at the book in hand, Romeo and Juliet. It was not his favorite by any means, but it held a special place in his heart because it was the first book Y/N read to him when they first started dating. He remembers telling her he hated how she ignored him for words on paper, so he proposed she read to him aloud, and that way, they could bond. Y/N was thrilled at the idea; the first book was Shakespeare because it was a reading assignment, and she wanted it done that weekend.

 Harry hated the ending; he remembers ranting to Y/N as she ran her fingers through his hair to calm him down. He didn't understand why Shakespeare made these two people who were star-crossed lovers fall in love in a week only to have them die. 

Safe to say, it took a while to let Y/N read another one of Shakespeare's works. 

Y/N's eyes were on the book, and she watched as Harry carefully opened it to the first page, moving it back so that only they could read what was written on the cover page. 

It read: I've loved you for six months. I'll love you for six more. And maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to love you for life. Love, Y/N xxx

Y/N felt tears behind her eyes; she had to look away. She was so naïve at the age, but oh how she loved him, and she knew he loved her just the same. Y/N was so grateful to know she was loved, even if it was years ago.  

She doesn't want to go next; instead, Sarah reaches in to save her. Sarah pulls out her folded half of paper and her blue Walkman player. "Oh my goodness, this is going to have some golden tunes." 

Mitch chuckles, "You suffered without it. Think was the first time I ever heard you complain about something." 

Sarah sends him a playful glare. "Shut it! Why don't you go next, Mr. Sentimental."

Mitch is one to never say no to Sarah, so he shrugs and makes his way forward. Patting Harry on the shoulder causing Harry to shift closer to Y/N. Both Harry and Y/N don't say anything but don't bother to move away either. 

Sarah smiled as she watches Mitch pick up a guitar pick. It was the first one he received from his father. "Dad always said I had a guitar in hand." 

"Mitch, you've voiced your thoughts out loud." Harry jokes. 

"Funny Styles." That's the last of what Mitch says as he moves back to read his letter, and Sarah follows close behind. 

Y/N feels everyone staring, but really it's only just Harry. Everyone focused on their own letters but also waiting for a reaction. She slowly reaches in, first pulling out the pink envelope with her initial on the front; Harry wrote it for her, saying she needed a way to identify it years later. 

She sets it in her lap before reaching in and getting the item she's been thinking about all day. 

A silver rose ring. 

It was a gift from Harry; Y/N always spoke of roses and how much her mother loved them. Leading to Harry finding out she loved them just as much. He wore this ring for a long time; he found it in a store in London before they made the move here permanently. It's his last real piece of home, but Aurora had become home, and so had Y/N. It felt right to give to her. She cried, receiving it, and knew it wouldn't fit but told him not to get it resized. She surprised him by wearing it around her neck; she put it on a chain she had. There wasn't a day she wasn't seen without it. 

She holds it tightly in her hand as if Harry might rip it out of her hand, wanting it back, but it's hers, and it's special. Y/N never wants to forget her memories with Harry, no matter how much it hurts, thinking back on them. 

"I've missed it." She whispers. 

Y/N slips it over her head, letting it rest outside her shirt for all to see. She missed the look on Harry's face, but this might be the motivation he needs to speak with her. To talk about where they are now in life. 

Except Y/N stands up, brushing the dirt that was on her pants to head somewhere more private to read her letter she wrote to herself. She walks a few feet away and flips open the pink tab, pulls out a folded paper. Her eyes immediately go to the bottom of the page, wherein black ink, it says, "I love Harry (PS: he made you write that, but it doesn't make it any less true." 

Everything surrounded him; her love for him was just that large. She reads over her letter taking in the words of how her sixteen-year-old self said she was proud of her and that no matter what happens, it was all for a reason.

It's exactly what she needed to hear. 

Harry is watching Y/N stand there read her letter, and he feels the gaze of everyone else to go approach her. Years ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about it, he would have been at her side holding her hand or rubbing her back, but now he doesn't even know if they are even friends. Mitch nudges him, and he knows he should check on her, but she surprises everyone by turning around, a grin on her face. 

"Mom and I cooked lunch, so let's wash up and eat. All this sure has built up my appetite." 

"Don't have to tell me twice." Zac smiles, walking inside heading straight to the kitchen sink. 

The others begin to follow Zac inside when Y/N stops hearing her name being called. It's Harry standing by the hole, shovel in hand. 

"Should I cover it up?"

Y/N can't help the smile, Harry was always so eager to help, and she's glad his kind helping sport hasn't changed. "No, dad is going to cover it. Mom told him he needs to do more yard work. She called it bonding time." 

"Okay, if you're sure." 

"I am." 

"Let's head in then." 

As Harry is about to walk past her, she reaches her hand out, grabbing his bicep, surprising him. "Thank you." 

He nods his head. "Of course." 

Y/N sighs; there's so much left unsaid. Their breakup fresh on her mind seeing him walk away from her, bringing it all back. Oh, how she wishes things were different. 

She doesn't regret leaving for New York, but she does wonder if there was a way to have made their relationship work; would it have survived or crashed and burned. 

In a way, she's glad she never had to find out. 

Y/N puts her brave face on; she's surrounded by friends who love her and who she hasn't spoken to for longer than half an hour. She's going to soak in this time and enjoy it. 

There are other times to be sad.

MARCH 1990 - ACCEPTANCES

Y/N and Harry were both lost in thought as Harry drove them to their destination. There was a lot to think about

Harry was proud to get a full-ride football scholarship to UCLA and a partial for USC. They were close to home, and he got to play a sport he was good at. These universities were tough to get into, but he impressed the recruits. He didn't bother applying outside the state, knowing he couldn't be far from home. It felt wrong for him; he knew that wasn't the case for Y/N. 

Y/N always spoke about leaving the state. She had dreamed about it from a young age especially seeing her brother do it. Gabriel's stories only make her more excited for her future. She loved to travel, no matter the distance. 

Harry, of course, knew this; he just thought he could convince her to stay. 

Applying to schools was hard for Y/N; there were many universities she wanted to apply to, but she feared rejection, so she set a limit of six. Still, a high number; she just needed options. 

When acceptances came in, each application welcomed her. Two east coast universities offered full-ride scholarships, USC offered partial and others only half. She had the money for tuition, her parents saved for her, which she is forever thankful for but knowing she could move across the country like she always dreamed of was calling her name. 

The one thing that stopped her was Harry. 

Y/N had never known love until Harry, and she knows her leaving will jeopardize that. She also knows if she stays, she might not be happy, always stuck on the "what if?"

She was distraught as soon as she heard the news. Her mom saw her pace outside, then sit, pour herself tea then began the cycle again. Y/N dreamed of Columbia. It was her dream university, and to give that up, but also having to give up Harry, she couldn't pick; she didn't want to. 

Harry parks the car; he drove them to an abandoned cliffside that's full of wildflowers. Y/N didn't rush out of the vehicle as she once would have wanted to feel the cold breeze. Now, she stares ahead, letting the car fill with silence—neither one wanting to be the one to begin the conversation that would change everything.

"Is this the end?" Y/N asks her voice, betraying her, as she feels her throat tighten up.

Harry doesn't answer; he reaches for her hand and holds it tight. 

"It doesn't have to be. I don't want it to be." She's barely holding herself together. Y/N's staring at the side of his head, silently begging for him to meet her gaze. 

"Life isn't always as easy as the last four years have been for us," Harry tells her, finally meeting her eyes. 

"I love you. You know that, right." 

"I know." He whispers. 

Y/N shuts her eyes, repeats the words in her head she hasn't been able to voice out, knowing she's going to be breaking more than one heart right now. 

"I can't stay, Harry." Y/N blinks her tears away, but they come right back, seeing Harry holding back tears. "As much as I want to, as much as I can't let you go. I also can't stay." 

"Don't let me go then." He whispers. He reaches forward, cradling her cheek in his hand. It's the softest touch he's given her. It's as if he's trying to remember how she feels. 

"It's not fair." 

"I don't care." Y/N reaches forward to wipe the tear away that managed to escape. 

"But I do." 

"I don't care." He tries again, Harry can't let her go. She's his life, he's too young to know about forever, but he doesn't want to live a life without her. "I'll go with you."

Y/N lets her tears begin to fall at his words. "No." Her voice firm. "It's over if you leave."

Harry pulls back, hurt by her words but Y/N's just as upset. 

She lets go of her hold on him and hurries out of the car. Harry yells her name, begging her to come back, but she's too busy crying to listen to him. Soon enough, she's surrounded by trees, and there are two trails to follow, but she can't pick; it is faith mocking her in the smallest of ways. Instead, she settles for sitting right in the center on a patch of grass. 

Y/N sits hunched over, crying; that's how Harry finds her. He doesn't say a word. He sits next to her and pulls her into his lap. 

"I'm sorry. So sorry, darling." 

Harry begins to rock her back and forward, letting his tears all as he rests his chin on top of her head. Begins to whisper sweet nothings, just wanting her close. He hates that they are causing each other this hurt. 

Y/N's cries have stopped; she sniffles from time to time. The holds she has on Harry is iron tight as if he'd vanish if she let go for even a second."

"Summer." She whispers, breaking the silence. 

"What?" Harry is not sure what she can mean.

"We have Summer."

"Yeah, we do." 

"We have to let each other go at the end of Summer." Her tone is final.

"Y/N-"

Y/N stops him, "Harry, I'm not letting you give up your dreams for me, and I know you won't let me do the same."

"I can't say goodbye," He confesses. 

"Then we won't. We'll kiss goodnight and pretend like we'll see each other in the morning." 

"That's heartbreaking, love." He chuckles bitterly.

"I love you, Harry Styles." 

"And I love you, my angel." 

Harry is done crying, instead leans in and kisses her like he should have done earlier as soon as he had parked the car. The kiss is fast, not soft like all the kisses he's used to giving her, no he wants her to remember this kiss. He wants her to feel everything he isn't saying. 

I love you. You're mine. You're my best friend. I will love you forever. He wants her to feel it all. 

"Show me you love me." Y/N pulls back breathless, lips plush begging to be kissed again. Harry knows what she's asking, and he's not one to deny her. 

He stands up, confusing her, but he comes prepared. Harry walks for the blanket he dumped a few feet away from them, grabbing it and spreading it out. Y/N is quick to lay back on the soft blanket. It warms her instantly. She smiles, reaching her hand up as Harry leans over her, his bottom half straddling her waist, her hand intertwining in his soft curls. Y/N brings him down for a kiss needing his touch to be close. 

Harry and Y/N are wrapped in their own world, lost in their kiss; it's always been them against the world, but soon they are going to venture off separately. It's something that neither of them wants to wrap their head around, and they won't not until they have to. 

They will enjoy graduation together, hand in hand receiving diplomas. Y/N will deliver a beautiful valedictorian speech. The joint graduation party will be a joy and one they sneak away from to spend watching the moon reflect over the ocean. It's the one place they feel at peace, the sea being a favorite of both of theirs. The Summer will bring endless days out, travels up the coast of California even as far as making it to San Francisco for a trip. There is not a second where they don't spend time together, and their parents understand; it breaks their heart, but it's their future, and all they can do is support them. Their love will only grow this Summer which makes it more heartbreaking when they say goodbye in August.

But none of that matters because, for now, they have each other, and that is enough. 

Harry pulls back, leaning his forehead against hers, their breaths mixing together. 

"I love you." 

"I love you so much; it's not going away just because--" Harry stops, not being able to voice the words out loud. He can't say it, or he'll start crying. 

"I know, dove." She trails her finger up his chest until they right over his heart. Y/N can feel how fast it's beating; it beats for her. "Maybe a day will come where we can be together again, that's if you don't find someone else, which I understand if you do."

"It's not going to happen." 

"You don't know that," She mutters. 

"Hey, I love you. No one is going to love me like you do. I'd be a fool to love someone else." Y/N settles her chin on his chest. She's staring into his eyes, trying to find a hint of a lie, but there is none. There's only love and sadness in his green orbs. 

"I love you too."

Harry sighs; there's not much they can do to brighten the mood. "You know what we can do?"

"What?" 

"Make a summer bucket list. First on my list is to kiss the prettiest girl I know every day." She laughs, making Harry break out in a big grin. "Lucky for you, that happens to be you." He tells her, booping her nose with his index finger.

Y/N laughs; it's only March. She has the rest of Spring and all of Summer to love Harry. To love him with every bone and cell in her body because that last day will come sooner than she likes. 

_____

The end of Summer arrived, and she bid Harry goodnight with a kiss at the door like normal, like he was going to show up tomorrow bright and early for breakfast and kisses, but that wasn't the case. It was goodbye, even though neither of them could admit it. 

Y/N and Harry walked away from each other; they didn't say no contact, but it was like they both silently agreed on it because there was no letters or calls to each other, no visits to each other's homes, no visiting each other parents, at least not in the beginning

The love was there, but life goes on.

JUNE 1998

After a delicious meal and second servings, everyone sits back stuffed. Everyone enjoyed a lovely home-cooked meal with entertaining conversation. Y/N enjoyed watching it happen, not participating much in conversation. She never was that interesting, she felt, always let her friends carry the conversation. She could feel Harry glance at her from time to time, but Y/N still hasn't recovered, knowing that Harry's most prized possession at sixteen was a book she wrote a note in. 

Y/N wonders if he's regretting that now. 

"Have we overstayed our welcome?" Zac asks, taking Y/N's silence as something terrible.

She laughs, shaking her head. "You're fine. I like listening, fascinating conversations going on."

"Come on, share something with us." Zac urges her.

"Uhh… med school has been going well. Have all of the Summer off, might do some sightseeing before going home." 

"Yeah, driving home to Massachusetts instead of taking a plane like a normal person." Sydney winces at the thought, not at all wanting to think about the pit stops she had to make. 

"Maybe not the smartest idea, but I encountered zero troubles; my baby, Twila, runs smoothly." 

"Should get her checked out again before leaving." Harry comments.

Y/N nods. "Dad's been on my ass about that as well, but I've got no rush, especially since all I ever do here is walk around town." 

"Enough car talk, let's talk about the time Zac got his clothes stolen after gym class sophomore year." Sarah sets them off on a never-ending conversation of memories.

As soon as one story is finished, a new one is being shared. Y/N forgot most of these, but as her friends tell them, she feels each memory unlock and surfacing. The conversation goes on forever, with no end in sight because that's how friendship is; it's never-ending. Especially when all they did for four years was hanging out together, creating these memories they now are so fond of. 

It's around seven o'clock, the sun begins to set when everyone decides to head home. She walks them out, giving them hugs and promises of seeing each other again before everyone leaves town. Y/N notices Harry lingering by, but she doesn't say anything.

Y/N waves goodbye to Sarah and Mitch when Harry comes to stand by her. She waits for him to say goodbye, not going to rush him, which is why what he says next surprised her. 

"Do you want help cleaning up?" 

Harry looks shy, asking, and Y/N knows he's about to take it back, so she nods. "That'd be great." 

She walks back in, and Harry follows close behind, making sure to lock the door, just in case. "I'll rinse, and you put it in the dishwasher. Okay?" 

"Okay, yes." 

They begin to work in silence, the only sound of the running water. Y/N wonders if he's going to stay longer or if he's going to leave right after. 

God, she could really go for a glass of wine. 

As Y/N hands him the last plate, she dries her hand with the red dish towel before handing a white one over to Harry, who thanks her quietly. 

She leans back against the counter, debating asking him to stay for a drink or not. Harry catches her staring and smiles, unleashing the dimples. It seems he made the decision for her. 

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Y/N turns around, reaching up for a glass for herself, not wanting to face him just in case he rejects her. 

"Wine sounds great." 

Y/N grabs two stemmed wine glasses and opens the bottle of red wine rather quickly; she's surprised her hands aren't shaking because she's so nervous. She fills both glasses halfway before stepping forward to hand Harry his cup.

"Thank you." 

"No problem." 

Harry takes a sip, humming at the taste. Y/N isn't sure where Zac got the bottle. She's just happy it tastes good. 

"Do you want to sit outside, watch the sunset on the steps?" 

Harry agrees and steps out, holding the door open for her. She sits down, leaving room for Harry. He leaves a small space in between them. 

"I love sunsets, never the same." 

"Same as sunrises." 

"I'm not a morning person as I once was, a bit of a night owl." She shares.

"Oh really, why is that?" 

"I'm not sure." Y/N knows that's a lie; what she wanted to say is because she has no one to wake up to. No one to give morning kisses or morning cuddles. 

"You must still love mornings." 

"I do." He chuckles. "I do three-mile runs each morning." 

"Three!" She gasps. "I'd be tired the entire day; I prefer going on hikes or long walks." 

"Used to it already." 

"Pity, to your partner. Stealing cuddles from them." She mutters, taking a sip of her wine, hoping he didn't hear. 

Harry wants to respond, not sure if she was asking or stating. Oh, how he wishes he could know what she was thinking.

"Didn't know you were interested in medicine, Harry." 

"I wasn't, not until my injury." He rubs his shoulder as if he remembered the pain. "After finding out, I was done for; I just needed something entirely different. My physical therapist spoke about his journey to entering the field. He told me to enter something that captured my attention and something I would never get tired of learning about. It led me to psychiatry. My professors were great guidance." 

"John Hopkins, right?" 

"Yes, the very one." 

"Tough school." 

He laughs out loud, hand on his belly. "You're telling me, miss dean's list each semester. Graduating with highest honors from Harvard." 

"You know me, my head always stuck in a book." 

"Still don't take compliments." 

"Makes me feel weird. I love what I do; I can't wait to start and just learn it all. This sponge I call my brain is ready to absorb it all."

"I'm sure you're going to do amazing." 

"Thank you, Harry. That means a lot." She pats his knee before quickly retracting her hand back into her lap.

"Where is your residency?" Harry looks at her, a frown on his face. "Don't think I asked you." 

"Well, Harvard medical was a dream, and I wasn't ready to say goodbye, so I accepted Massachusetts General. I really love the environment they have in the hospital." She sets her wine glass down, turning her body to look at Harry. She misses the look of shock on his face. "Everyone is so kind--"

"Y/N," He tries, but she continues on.

"I went for a tour, and it was busy and crowded, but they were so kind with the children. When I entered the pediatrics ward, I just knew it's where I had to be."

"Y/N," 

"I already know who I'm going to be working under, and she's--" 

"Love," Harry tries his gaze on her face hoping to get a reaction.

That shuts Y/N right up; it has been a long time since she last heard that term of endearment. 

Her eyes are on Harry; he has her full attention. He can tell she's a bit stunned, but his news is life-changing. "I have my residency at Massachusetts General." 

"You what?" She was not expecting that news. Harry is in the same hospital as her. "Are you saying?" 

"We would have run into each other if we hadn't come home for the time capsule, yes." He answers for her. 

"Fate," she whispers.

Harry nods, eyes shining with tears. That one word was enough for Harry to know she might feel the same. 

He sees Y/N's eyes flicker to his lips, going back to his eyes, then leans in. He does the same, wanting to feel her close more than ever. 

"Y/N, you left the-" Harry and Y/N spring apart, the moment gone started by her mother. "Oh, hello, Harry."

Harry clears his throat, standing up to offer the woman who startled him a hug. "Hello Lorelai, wonderful to see you."

"How's your mother?"

"She's well. Left yesterday to visit my nephews for the weekend." 

"That's nice." 

The three now stand outside together, Y/N rocking back and forth on her heels, not able to standstill. 

"Truly wasn't expecting to see you," Lorelai tells him.

"We were catching up" Harry smiles at Y/N. "We were keeping each other company." 

"Very kind." 

"I should get going; it's late." Feeling as if he overstayed his welcome. 

Lorelai senses the tension a second too late as Harry is saying his goodbyes. "Well, please do stop by before you leave town." 

"Of course." 

"I'll walk you out." Y/N smiles at her mother as she leads Harry out through the side gate, personally wanting to avoid a run-in with her father.

Y/N, true to her word, walks him to his car; he is about to round his car, heading to the driver's seat but stops.

"Y/N?" His voice was shaky.

"Yes, Harry."

"Let's have dinner together." He rushes out in one go.

"Harry…" She pauses, "I--" 

He interrupts her. "Don't tell me you have a--" he trails off, not wanting to say the word.

"Course not." She replies quickly.

"But,"

Y/N takes a deep breath, taking a moment to get her thoughts together. "I won't do this unless this is it. This is the time I'm yours again. For good." 

"You've always been mine." He steps forward, hand reaching out to cup her cheek. She lets out a sigh, feeling a sense of peace take over her body. "Eight years and no one compared. No one ever will." 

"H." He can see the tears in her eyes. 

"I mean it. I've always been in love with you. I will always be in love with you. It will always be you."

Y/N closes the gap between them; they are the closest they have been in eight years. She searches his face for any sign of doubt but finds none. Only sees love in his beautiful emerald eyes.

"I love you." She confesses feeling a weight leave her shoulders as the words leave her mouth for the first time in years. "I never stopped. I will never stop." 

"Sweetest words I have ever heard. Words I want to hear forever." Harry's smile is one she had never seen before; it's wide, and she swears it reaches the sky. His eyes hold a shine they never have before. 

There's one last thing she needs for this moment to be perfect.

"Please kiss me."

"With pleasure." 

She's never dreamed of this moment in fear of it not happening, but it finally is, and Y/N swears she feels the stars aligned just for them. Harry's lips were getting closer, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She parted her lips and felt him washing over like a wave of warmth. She finally felt at home. Her whole body tingled, the feel of his frame leaning on jets as his arms wrapped around her tightly, afraid that she'd disappear. Y/N's fingers slowly moved up Harry's chest until they tangled with the back of his short curls. She tugged, needing more, feeling her legs buckle at the moan Harry let out. 

All she felt was love, and she wanted to feel it forever. Y/N let Harry pull away; he didn't go far, letting his forehead rest on hers. Their breaths mix together. There's a bashful smile on Y/N's face, but this moment feels too good to be true. 

Harry and Y/N stand there wrapped in each other's arms, lost in each other's gaze as if no one else existed and there was no risk of interruption. 

"I'll be here at noon tomorrow, going to take you out if you'll let me." 

"Yes, H. I accept." She kisses him softly two more times before unwrapping herself from him, putting a bit of distance between each other, or they very well would stand there all night kissing. 

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." She confirms 

Harry steals one last kiss, short and sweet, before getting in his car. He sends her a kiss that she pretends to catch and places it over her heart. 

She knows he is blushing even though she can't see it. 

As he drives away from her, all the hurt and pain of not having him washes away. Harry is hers, and she is his. 

All is right. 

Their paths finally crossed again, and this time there would be no final goodbye. 

_____

Harry showed up the day after as promised. Y/N was eagerly waiting, she had felt time go slow when they had been apart, but it's a monumental day because once again, after so many years, Harry and Y/N are finally reunited. 

She waited on the steps of her house like she used to when she was a teen waiting for him to pick her up and take her out on a date. It was bringing back the best memories. Harry parked right in front, and just as he was rounding his car to go meet her, she was in front of jumping in his car.

"Woah!" Harry was fast to react, only stumbling a little put holding her tight. "This is a nice welcome." He teases.

"Can you blame me? I missed you." She tells him, nuzzling her face in his neck. 

"Missed you too, love. Eight years, I've missed you." 

"Don't start, H. Don't want to cry. We're here now." 

"You're right." 

Y/N has Harry set her down; they stand there smiling at each other, taking each other in. 

"Up for a drive?" 

She nods. "Will you drive me to the moon?" 

"Anywhere you want, angel." 

Harry drives them to one place she hasn't visited because of the memory it holds. She's guessing it's because he wants to create new, better ones. 

"It's still beautiful here." She looks out through the window, not wanting to leave the safety of the car. She wants to stay close to Harry. 

Y/N sits in silence with Harry holding each other's hands, allowing each other to just enjoy this time together. The calmness of being loved and feeling loved. She knows there are lots to talk about, but she settles for the quietness for now. 

She's not sure how much time has passed, but she's now facing Harry, and he's toying with the rose ring hanging on her neck.

"Y/N," he whispers; she lifts her gaze from his lilac nails and hums for him to go on. "I have to ask." She lets his words sit in their silence. She knows what he's asking, the same thing running through her mind. 

"No." She frowns. "It felt wrong. I could never-- it was never you." 

Harry can tell she feels sheepish confessing this. 

She chuckles dryly. "I must sound lame; the last person I kissed was you eight years ago."

"No, it's not." He assures her. 

She sighs, "Harry." 

"It was the same for me. My friends tried to set me up multiple times, but it felt like cheating. No one understood." 

"So you haven't…" She trails off. 

"Well acquainted with my hand." He jokes.

She burst out laughing, and seconds later, Harry is as well. Their joyous laugh fills the car but also their hearts. 

"I love you." She breathes out, trying to catch her breath.

"And I love you." 

"Want to know a secret," she asks him.

He nods.

She turns her head to the window; she can see herself and Harry in the reflection. His eyes on her full of adoration. 

"I wrote you letters, hundreds. I've lost count, really, but I've got a box full; they are locked up in mom's attic." Y/N turns, looking back at Harry; there's a soft look on his face. "I wanted to send them, but I couldn't. I didn't want to interfere."

"Darling, that's-" he chokes up, tears escaping him. "Can I read them?" 

Y/N nods, "Of course, they were intended for you after all."

"Will you read them with me?" 

"Sure, if that's what you want." 

"Do you want to know something now?"

Y/N reaches forward and brushes a loose curl back. "Tell me." 

"Each book I've read, I have written a dedication in it for you." 

"What?" She says, surprised. 

"The new bookshelf in mom's living room is filled with books." He waits for her to nod before continuing on. "All books for you."

"Harry," It's her turn to cry now, it seems.

"Thought about you just as much, angel." 

"Do you think we did the right thing, letting each other go?" 

"I do."

"Why?" 

"It brought us together again. Sure it was the time capsule, but there is also Massachusetts." He reminds her.

"Isn't that wild?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "Same residency."

"It was fate, angel. Like you said last night." 

"Yeah, guess fate had a plan, after all, dove." 

Harry chokes up, tears welling up in his eyes. "What did you say?" 

"Fate had a plan."

"After."

"Dove," she breathes out, not even noticing she slipped it in; it came out like second nature. "You're my dove, my kind man, the love of my life." 

Harry grabs her face and connects his lips to hers. It's not soft; it's fast and hot but full of love. She leaned back, feeling the heat in her cheeks. Harry chases her lips, not finished yet. She lets him kiss her as he pressed soft pecks on her lips, liking the feel of her soft lips. 

"Is it too soon to ask to marry you?" Harry asks, trailing kisses down her neck. 

"No, never too soon." She giggles as he kisses a soft spot right under her jaw. "If I recall, I asked you one too many times during high school." 

Harry chuckles, nodding. "Should have accepted sooner." 

She looks at him, not being able to contain her laughter, knowing very well he should have.

"Marry me." He asks, all traces of laughter gone. He holds his breath, waiting for a response. 

"Yes, of course, dove." 

Harry seals it with a kiss. She accepted, and yes, it may seem rushed, but they aren't getting any younger. Their love was put on hold, and now because the time is right, they get to pick up as if no time passed at all. 

They are different people, but Harry and Y/N have only become more perfect for one another. 

2000 DECEMBER - MASSACHUSETTS 

Her eyes snap open, and she quickly sits up, throwing the blanket off herself feeling hot and unfocused, startling Harry making him drop the Pop-Tart he was eating to fall on his chest. 

She looks back at Harry, sitting up with crumbs covering his mouth and half-eaten brown sugar cinnamon sitting on top of his black sweats. 

Y/N can't help but laugh at the sight in front of her, her nightmare now pushed aside. 

"You're laughing." He pouts. "You gave me a proper scare." 

She frowns, "I had a bad dream." 

"Yeah, want to talk about it?" 

She shakes her head no, instead asking him an important question. "Why are you eating Pop-Tarts in bed?" She picks up the broken half and takes a bite, appreciating the strong cinnamon flavor. 

"I got hungry, but I didn't want to leave you alone, and honestly, I'd never willingly leave your cuddles." 

"Did you bring me my own?" She mutters, swallowing the last piece of his.

"Why, of course, I'm no monster." 

"What time are you going in today?" She asks as she opens up the package handing him half since she ate his. He happily accepts. 

"Noon." 

She glances at the alarm clock and sees it is only nine am. She mumbles an 'okay,' settling herself to lay her head on his chest. 

"How are you spending your day off?" His hand running through her hair, always wanting to be touching her in some way.

"In bed." 

Harry doesn't like that. "Still feeling sick." He states.

"Yes, but I'm fine." 

"Okay, but we do work in a hospital." He playfully reminds her.

She lets out a deep sigh. "I'll have Annie check on me tomorrow." 

"Thank you." He kisses her temple, definitely leaving crumbs of food behind.

"I love you, Harry." 

"I love you too." 

Y/N and Harry had come a long way from the Summer of 98'. They got back together and were excited to start the next chapter of their lives together. Their families were thrilled at the news of them getting back together and even happier when they learned about their shared residency location. 

That Summer led them to where they are now; two years into their residency programs and one year into marriage. 

Harry could not wait; he had wanted to take her to city hall for a quick signature but knew she deserved better. They were wed in the botanical garden under the beautiful flower arch she dreamed of. It was the wedding she always dreamed of; it was small and beautiful. Only their closest friends and family were in attendance. Their wedding photo; Harry gazing at her as if she put all the stars in the sky and Y/N smiling at the camera. It sits framed on Y/N's bedside. He decided it went there, so when he turns to look over at her, he sees all of her beauty laid out for him and the happiest day of his life. 

Harry had fought her on changing her last name, wanting her to be called Doctor Y/LN because she worked for it and was a man who wanted his wife to shine and do all she set her mind to. Harry went as far as suggesting hyphenating but still no. She changed her last name to 'Styles.' Y/N told him she spent years dreaming about it in high school, even years later when he wasn't by her side. It's an honor to share his last name because one day, their future children would as well. 

Y/N has a year left in her pediatrics residency, and Harry has two years to go. She has her fellowship to think about, which will add three more years; her focus on Critical Care Medicine. Harry has decided on Addiction Psychiatry which is only a year-long, but he's got his last two years to worry about first. 

Life has been going well, they've had their fair share of arguments but nothing they can't fix. Harry can't say he doesn't love making up; it always leads to a good time.

They didn't know what life had in store for him but looking around at the photos they have hanging up, a picture of Mitch and Sarah's little boy Nathaniel who only gets bigger every time they see him. A photo of Sydney showing off her engagement ring, face full of tears but smile large; Zac off traveling the country smiling in his picture of him visiting the Grand Canyon part of his trip to visit each National Park and document his journey. 

This group of six friends is living their dreams; at sixteen, none of them know what life would be like twelve years down the road, but if it wasn't for each of them having this friendship and deciding to bury a time capsule, they might not be where they are right not; happier and more in love than ever. 

Harry and Y/N are filled with love and know life couldn't be better than it is; incredibly grateful to be in love and be loved back just the same. 

Little do they know their love will soon have to be shared.

_____

Thank you so much for reading! 

I love you and I hope you loved this story <3

[odos-bucket]

More Protective!Batdad Fic, With the Pretense that this is a Series Mostly Given Up

They’re returning to the cave after Robin’s first night out since the start of Tim’s parents’ most recent stay in the city. It had been a routine patrol, made noteworthy only by the return of the boy wonder. They’d gotten into a bit of a scuffle with some muggers towards the end of the night, but it wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle, and they had both come away from it unharmed. At least that was what Bruce thought at the time. And he paid pretty close attention to things.

But when the domino mask comes off he can clearly see where Tim has a black eye, and a bruise blooming over his cheek.

“What happened?” He leaves his cowl and gloves on the computer, and takes a few steps closer to where Tim is fishing his civilian clothes out of a bag.

“Huh?” Tim bunches up the shirt he’s holding into a fist, and his eyes dart around for a moment without settling on Bruce. “Oh.” Fingers of his free hand fly up to hover over his injured cheek. “Thief got in a lucky shot.” His voice is a fraction of an octave higher than usual.

Bruce’s eyes automatically narrow as he begins his mental recall of the events that had transpired less than twenty minutes prior.

“I didn’t see you get hit,” he says slowly.

Tim just shrugs.

The bruise is too dark to be less than half an hour old anyway. It had to have come from sometime earlier in the day. It had been hidden beneath the mask though, and they’d both already been in full costume when they’d met earlier that evening.

Before Bruce can say anything else, Tim is ducking into a private alcove to finish getting changed. He’s a bit slower at it than usual, and Bruce wonders if that could be indicative of other hidden injuries, or if Tim is just drawing it out to avoid further scrutiny. Several minutes go by, and he finally clears his throat.

“Tim?”

“Just a second.” The words come out quickly.

Bruce goes to change himself, only to find that Tim still isn’t out by the time he’s finished and returned. He knocks gently on the wall that’s partitioning off the section of the cave where he’s changing, and hears a soft startled gasp, before Tim’s scurrying out.

“Yep! Sorry! Sorry! Just a little spaced.”

“Tim.” Bruce hopes his voice sounds gentle. “What happened?”

“What do you mean? I told you-“

“Don’t lie to me. That didn’t come from just now.” Bruce pauses and sighs. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Tim shakes his head.

“I won’t tolerate you hiding injuries from me.”

“I’m not.”

They stand looking at each other for several drawn out, silent seconds.

“Were you patrolling on your own?” Bruce asks after a minute. “I’m going to find out if you-“

“No.” Tim sounds even less like his normal self when he cuts in. “I promise I wasn’t.”

“All right. So what is it? Did something happen during the day?”

As much as Bruce wants to know about it if Tim’s getting into fights at school, or somewhere else, he recognizes that it may not be his place to intervene if this wasn’t vigilante related. That’s fine (at least so he tells himself) but he’d like assurance that someone’s looking out for his Robin.

“Is it something you can handle with your parents?” He tries.

Tim’s eyes widen for half a second, and then he bursts into tears.

Bruce briefly freezes, before returning to himself and rushing to Tim’s side.

“I’m so stupid,” Tim is muttering, barely discernibly. “I’m sorry. I was so stupid.” The words barely come out between bouts of gasping, shuddering sobs.

Bruce wants to beg him to tell him what happened, but settles for reaching out a careful arm, and slowly pulling him close. Tim freezes for a fraction of a second, before melting into his side, continuing to mumbled unintelligibly.

“It’s all right,” Bruce tries to sooth, very aware that he doesn’t really have the voice for that sort of thing. “You’re okay.” He desperately wishes that he could offer some more specific reassurances, but he still doesn’t know what’s going on. “I’ve got you,” he settles for, running a hand through Tim’s hair.

They stay like that for a while, Tim crying, and apologizing, and Bruce telling him it’s okay, and wishing he could be sure that it was true. Eventually the tears dry up, and the breathing evens out, and the tense body beside his goes limp with exhaustion. Bruce doesn’t let go, not until he feels Tim starting to shift around restlessly. And even then he stays close enough to be easily collapsed into again, should the need arise.

“I messed up,” Tim says, after a few false starts.

“Whatever it is, we can fix it.” A ridiculous promise, and one that Bruce normally wouldn’t be making without more information. But somehow- without Bruce meaning to allow him to- Tim has joined the narrow ranks of those capable of inducing him to speak or behave a-procedurally.

Tim shakes his head.

“Tim, I want to help, but you have to give me something to work with.”

Tim is too focused on keeping his eyes dry, and his breathing steady to respond.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Bruce forces himself to offer, forces himself to remember that this child isn’t his, doesn’t need him the way the other robins did.

Another sob escapes Tim, and he buries his face in his hands. There’s a pang in Bruce’s chest as he realizes what he has to ask next.

“Did something happen at home?”

The question is met with heavy breathing, followed by a drawn out silence, and then, finally, a slow nod.

Bruce forces down his rising anger, as Tim finally gathers himself to speak.

“I don’t know if they want me to go back.” It comes out in a hoarse whisper. “Dad was so mad at me.”

Fury coils in Bruce’s gut, and lies in wait for his next question to be answered.

“Did he do this?” He gestures to the black eye.

“It’s never happened before,” Tim rushes to say. “Nothing like this ever has.”

“That doesn’t matter.” Bruce practically growls. Tim, to his credit, seems entirely unaffected by the intensity of the tone.

“I started it,” he says.

“… There’s no way that’s true.”

“Bruce,” Tim chokes out, leaning back into him.

“I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Bruce pulls him close like he could absorb Tim into himself, like if he holds him tightly enough he can keep him safe- as if he’s actually capable of keeping any child safe. This will never happen again, he wants to say, I won’t let it. His mind is racing. He doesn’t want to let Tim back into that house, doesn’t want to let him out of his sight really. He’s never been able to fathom how the Drakes can have this selfless, determined, brilliant child in their care, and be so willing to spend all their time away from him. He’s been wary of them from the beginning. But he never imagined that they could pose this kind of danger to their son.

“This is so stupid,” Tim grumbles into Bruce’s shoulder.

Bruce can’t disagree, though he’s a little worried that they aren’t on the same page about what exactly that means.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Tim continues after a minute. “I thought- I thought things were going well!”

“Telling me was the right thing to do,” Bruce says quickly. “If somebody’s hurting you- no matter who it is-“

“That isn’t what I mean.” He takes a deep breath, and leans back a little bit.

Bruce watches patiently, as Tim calms his nerves, and steadies himself.

“I… told Mom and Dad about Connor,” he breathes. “Not the alien clone thing, obviously. But, I told them that I was seeing someone- a guy- and I don’t even know why I did it! In the back of my head I knew there was no way it was going to go over well. I knew that. I was just, I don’t know, feeling happy, and okay for the first time in a while. So I thought-“ He shakes his head. “I mean I didn’t think; that was the problem. And Mom reacted the way I knew she- the way I should have known she would. And I got mad, and I started yelling at her, and Dad, when I yelled at her, Dad, that’s when he- he…”

Bruce’s heart breaks. It’s not like he’d imagined that Jack Drake would have a good reason for lashing out at his son, but this was nothing.

“I’m still not hearing anything that you did wrong.” He forces himself to stay calm.

“Trying to come out to them was dumb! I didn’t need to do it. They were leaving soon anyways, it shouldn’t have mattered!”

“No. They shouldn’t have hurt you,” Bruce says fiercely. “This is part of who you are, so it should always matter. It’s not stupid to assume that people who are supposed to care about you would want to know more about what’s going on in your life. Tim, you did nothing wrong.”

He runs a hand up and down his back, like he’d done when Dick had nightmares as a child.

Tim glances at him out of the glassy corner of his eye, and scrubs his hands roughly over his face, before mumbling something that Bruce doesn’t catch.

He waits for a beat, before quietly asking if Tim will repeat himself.

“They don’t want me coming around here anymore,” he says more clearly, voice suddenly empty. “They- they saw that interview you did a couple years back, where you came out as bisexual.” His face is tinged pink, ashamed to even be repeating his parent’s words. “So they think that I, I don’t know, caught it from you, like it’s contagious or something. But I didn’t know where else to go! And I- I don’t want to give this up…“ He gestures broadly to the cave around them as hiccuping breaths overpower his speech.

Bruce just holds on as Tim continues to cry, softly repeating that he didn’t do anything wrong, carefully keeping the furious voice raging, ‘those bastards won’t take you away from me,’ under wraps. He doesn’t let himself think about every other instance of his sexuality being cited as a factor making him an unsuitable guardian that he’s committed to precise memory, the vicious arguments that his children should be taken away from him, the fact that if he hadn’t been born so lucky in so many other ways they might have been. Tim doesn’t need him to be angry, Tim needs him to be smart.

They wait out the tears again, until they’re not falling so heavily, and Tim is shuddering occasionally, rather than continuously, and can compose himself enough to speak.

“I didn’t mean to dump all this on you,” he says once he’s mostly calmed down.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Bruce threads his fingers through locks of lightly tangled hair. “I’m so glad you told me what happened. You’re going to stay here tonight, okay?”

Tim is with them often enough when his parents aren’t around that they already have a room made up for him, a room which after less than a year has come to show more evidence of his personality than his bedroom at the Drake’s mansion.

Tim nods.

“Thank you.”

Bruce squeezes his shoulder.

“Do you still have pajamas here? Or do you need to borrow a pair of Dick’s?”

It’s something easy in a moment where everything feels impossibly difficult.

“I brought them with me when I went home.” His breath catches on the last word, and it only half comes out.

“That’s all right. Dick won’t mind.”

Now it’s just a matter of getting themselves upstairs. There will be more to worry about tomorrow, much more, and it will undoubtedly only increase in the days that follow. Bruce will have to figure out whether or not Jack and Janet Drake are looking for their son, and he can’t quite decide which the worse option is at this point. He’ll also need to make sure he understands what exactly is within his power to do to keep Tim safe. Bruce stops himself before he can begin preparing for the future too obsessively. He brings himself back to the present moment, stairs, pajamas, bed, all very manageable tasks.

He just really doesn’t want to let go of the child in his arms. The realization that Tim might need him more than he thought is overpowering, making him feel violently protective, and a little bit terrified.

Some of the strain of the moment breaks when Tim uses the side of Bruce’s arm to stifle a yawn, but it’s still a little while longer before they’re ready to head upstairs.

When they do, Tim wanders up to his room, where Bruce hopes he’ll find easy rest. He stays awake and finds Alfred. There’s a lot they need to talk about.

[lunar-wandering]

Lanterns and Lies

surprise!! here we go, the sequel to Glamours and Gauze!

Word Count: 7k

Read on Ao3

-

Macaque had lied, when he said the shadow lantern was gone.

When the Lady Bone Demon had caught him, she had made a specific note of needing the lantern.

And, well, Macaque wouldn't let that happen.

So he'd shattered it, again, and during the Lady Bone Demon's momentary shock, he'd taken the opportunity to gather the broken pieces and run.

One of her minions had cut him with the cursed knife while he was running away.

That didn't matter now though, his injuries had been healed, and the Lady Bone Demon had yet to make another move. For now, sitting on the roof of the noodle shop, he was safe.

He starred down at the shattered pieces of the lantern in his hands.

With a sigh, he carefully extended his magic, putting the pieces back together again, reforming the lantern. He held it gently in his hands as he looked around the roof.

Now where was he gonna hide this-

"Macaque, I brought plums!"

Macaque startled upon hearing MK's voice, he'd been so distracted focusing on putting the lantern back together, he hadn't even heard the other climb up the ladder to the roof.

The.....lantern....

Which he told MK was gone....

In a rush to avoid MK seeing the lantern, Macaque did the first thing he thought of.

He shoved the lantern into himself, letting it mix into his own magic. Not the smartest way of storing it, it was a highly magical item, who knows how it would act while in direct contact with his magic, but it was the first thing he could think of, and this was only a temporary measure, so it should be fine.

....Probably.

"Hey bud, what's up?" Macaque asked, turning around to face MK, who was setting a small bowl of plums on the ground. "...What are the plums for?"

"You said that if I brought you some plums, you'd tell me about the time Monkey King walked into a tree." MK said, "And I fully expect you to keep your end of the bargain."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Macaque said, grabbing the bowl of plums. "Well you see, what happened was-"

-

"That had to be the stupidest shit you've ever pulled, Wukong." Macaque said, breathing heavily as he leaned against a tree. Wukong for his part, just smirked.

"I didn't see you try to stop me." He said, laughing as Macaque glared at him.

"I did try to stop you. Multiple times. But you didn't listen." He said, "You really need to stop picking a fight with every random person you meet."

"You're no fun at all." Wukong said, yawning as he stretched. Macaque rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He said, "Anyways, we should probably head back to the cave, get some rest-"

"I'm not tired." Wukong said.

"You literally yawned a few seconds ago."

"Doesn't mean I'm tired. Besides, there's still more stuff to do." Wukong said, turning and walking off further into the mountain's forest, Macaque trailing behind him. As they walked, Macaque noticed Wukong start slouching, little by little. He didn't say anything though, knowing that Wukong would only deny it if asked.

It would be better just to watch and deal with the consequences when they came.

And oh boy, did the consequences come: in the form of Wukong turning a corner and immediately walking directly into a tree. The tree snapped in half, falling to the ground, with Wukong tumbling down after it. There was a loud thump, as dust and leaves were sent flying into the air. A few nearby birds called out in concern.

"Timber." Macaque said, a smirk on his face, walking over and crouching down beside where Wukong now lay on his back with a dazed expression on his face. "So. Not tired, huh?"

"Shut up." Wukong hissed, sitting up, pulling dirt and leaves out of his fur as he did so. "The tree just. Got in my way, that's all-"

"You're expecting me to believe that a tree got up and put itself in your path?" Macaque asked, "Wukong. I'm not stupid. Let's just hurry up and go back to the cave to rest already."

"I'm fine." Wukong said, moving to stand up, but wobbling a little, tipping backwards again-

Macaque caught him, keeping him from having another close encounter with the ground.

-

"I ended up having to carry him all the way back up the mountain." Macaque said, making little images with his shadows in order to give MK a better visual of what happened. "He ended up sleeping for like, 3 days. Took him still being tired when he woke up again for me to realize he'd gotten cursed. Wasn't hard to break it afterwards, but boy did Wukong protest the whole time. Practically had to tie him to his bed."

MK scribbled in his sketch book, and Macaque, out of curiosity, moved closer, looking over MK's shoulder to see a sketch of what Macaque had just described.

"....You're drawing this?" He asked. MK nodded.

"Yeah! I've got a lifetime goal of illustrating all of Monkey King's adventures!" MK said, pausing his sketching to show Macaque a quick flip through of the rest of the book. "...You got any other stories?"

"Lots." Macaque said, leaning back. "But you're gonna have to bring more plums if you want more stories. I'm not just gonna hand this info out for free."

"Of course, of course." MK said, standing up and walking back over to the ladder, mumbling to himself as he climbed back down. "I'm going to have to permanently add plums to my shopping list...."

Macaque stayed where he was, waiting patiently until he couldn't hear MK anymore, before letting out a relieved sigh.

That had been close.... No matter what, he couldn't let the others know that he still had the lantern. Revealing that would probably cause the others to push him away, they wouldn't trust him anymore, and he really couldn't have that. Hanging around them was the most advantageous position for him to be in right now, and he wasn't about to give it up any time soon.

...He still needed a place to hide it permanently, keeping it inside of himself probably wouldn't be a good idea in the long term. With that thought in mind, he mentally reached inwards with his magic, shadows starting to surround him as he prepared to take the lantern out-

"Hey, Macaque!"

Macaque startled again, the shadows that had condensed around him vanishing as though they'd been popped like party balloons as he whirled around to see-

Mei, who giggled at his shocked expression, holding up her phone and taking a quick picture of him before pocketing it.

"Would you two stop doing that?" Macaque asked, sighing as Mei circled around him.

"Hey, it's not my fault you didn't hear me coming." Mei said, giggling at the expression on Macaque's face. "Seriously, with all those ears you have it's a wonder you didn't-"

"What do you want." Macaque growled, "You wouldn't be here if you didn't want something."

"Wouldn't I?"

That. Wasn't a question Macaque felt that he could answer. He honestly couldn't think of a reason why any of MK's friends would want to be around him, but they hadn't really been pushing him away either....

Mei seemed a little concerned with how he'd suddenly gone silent though, so it was probably best to quickly change the subject.

"Ah, anyways, I have some stuff to do, so I don't really have time for you." Macaque said, walking past Mei and over to the edge of the rooftop. Distantly, he noted a weird tingling sensation come over him, but he ignored it, figuring it wasn't important.

"Oh, now that's a lie." Mei said, a smirk on her face. "You never do anything other than lounge around up here."

"Do not." Macaque said, crossing his arms. "I do plenty, you just haven't noticed."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Macaque pondered for a moment on how best to answer-

And that was when his foot started sinking into the shadow underneath of him.

Outwardly, Macaque remained perfectly calm, not letting Mei in on the fact that anything was amiss.

Inwardly, he panicked.

That was definitely not supposed to be happening, why was it happening it shouldn't be happening why was he l o s i n g  c o n t r o l-

He was snapped out of his panic when he heard the sound of an engine starting up behind him. Subtly looking over his shoulder, he could see MK, ready to drive off, probably to deliver some noodles.

Macaque made his decision in a split second.

Turning and pulling his foot out of the shadow it'd been sinking into, Macaque jumped off the roof. Ignoring Mei's shout of "Hey, wait!", he slipped into the shadow of the tuk tuk, just before MK started to drive away.

-

Macaque hung out in the shadow of the tuk tuk for about 15 minutes before he actually bothered to wonder where exactly MK was going.

MK slowed down a bit as he turned a corner, and Macaque figured it was as good a time as any to ask.

Carefully, he materialized on the back of the tuk tuk, then, after making sure there wasn't anything around for MK to accidentally hit should he swerve, asked;

"Where are you going?"

MK's foot slammed on the brakes, the tires screeching and Macaque almost falling off from the sudden inertia. As soon as they were still, MK whirled around, staring at Macaque, shocked.

"How long have you been there?" He asked, and the expression on his face genuinely made Macaque laugh.

"Oh, not very long." Macaque said, "I was riding along in the shadow for the most part."

"...You can do that?" MK asked, "You probably save like, so much money when traveling then-"

"Bold of you to assume that I have any money at all." Macaque said, "Anyways, you didn't answer the question. Where are you going?"

"Why do you want to know?" MK asked, crossing his arms. "And why are you here anyways? Usually you just stay on the roof, what changed?"

"Nothing! What, can't I just want to go for a ride once in a while?" Macaque said-

And his hand started sinking into the shadow beside him. Swiftly, he pulled it out, rubbing it to get rid of the remaining tingles. MK watched this happen with a look of suspicion.

"...Uh-huh, sure, like I believe that." He said, tone as dry as the desert. "And anyways, I don't think you'd want to-"

And then he paused, looking as though he'd just been hit with some kind of realization.

"Actually-" MK started, "I think it would be good if you came with me."

He turned back around, taking his foot off the break and turning back onto the road, speeding up a little.

"You still haven't told me where we're going." Macaque said.

"Oh, you'll soon find out."

Macaque had a feeling he wasn't going to like this.

-

He was right. He hated this.

Staring up at a temple that quite obviously belonged to Sun Wukong, Macaque regretted every decision he had made in his life that had led up to this moment.

He regretted it even more when the monkey himself opened the front gate.

"Ah, there you are kid!" Wukong said, "I was beginning to think you'd never show up!"

"I'm only 2 minutes late..." MK muttered, and Macaque couldn't help but laugh a bit at that.

Sun Wukong was not, exactly, known for being very patient after all.

"Oh, I see you brought... an audience." Wukong said, finally noticing that Macaque was, in fact, also there.

"Audience? Please, if anything I'm the lead actor." Macaque said.

"Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that." MK said, and Macaque would've hit him where it not for the warning glance Wukong gave him.

-

Macaque ended up being dragged to MK's training sessions with Wukong, again and again. Some days it was because MK himself forcibly brought him along, and on other days it was because Macaque was simply avoiding Mei. (He denied the accusation that he was avoiding her when asked...and then almost tripped as his foot sank deeper into the shadows. Luckily he'd managed to blame it on a stray tree root, but he wasn't sure how long he could keep it up...) 

Over the course of said days, Macaque had tried multiple times to find a better place to hide the lantern than within his own magic. (He'd long since figured out that the lantern was reacting whenever he lied, thus messing with his own magic. He had no idea why it was doing this, but the why didn't really matter so long as he could find a way to stop it.) But of course, since karma was apparently out to get him, he was interrupted by someone every single time, forcing him to keep the lantern within himself, lest the others find out about it.

Honestly though, he was shocked that Wukong hadn't noticed, considering his golden vision and all, he should've been able to see the fact that the lantern's magic was contained within Macaque.

(Macaque had nearly panicked when, on day 2 of him following MK to his training, Wukong had leaned close to him with a contemplative look on his face.

"...Why are you so close to me?" Macaque had asked, and huh, how long had that slit been in Wukong's eyebrow? Had it been there for a while and Macaque had just never noticed or-

"I'm checking to see how much of the glamor you're wearing." Was Wukong's response, as he studied him. "You're still recovering, you probably shouldn't be using magic to cover all of it."

So....Wukong was concerned about him. Macaque couldn't really imagine why, but still-

"You didn't need to get so close to me- can't you obviously see I'm wearing it?" Macaque had asked, gesturing at his own face. Wukong, surprisingly, winced at that, finally backing up a bit.

"Well, I guess you seem fine." He'd muttered, turning away, "Don't know why I was even worried."

And Macaque should've been relieved, but for some reason-

For some reason he felt like something was wrong.)

-

Macaque relaxed in the shade of a tree, watching Wukong train MK. It was almost soothing to watch the mentor and student trade hits as they sparred.

But of course, being relaxed didn't mean that Macaque didn't notice things.

Like how Wukong was a full 2 seconds slower in blocking MK's attacks than he'd been when Macaque had stolen MK's powers. Which wasn't really something that would normally raise concern- he probably just wasn't being as serious as he would be when encountering an actual threat, but.

Something about it was making the alarm bells that had been constantly ringing in Macaque's head louder. (Something he, obviously, didn't appreciate. Loud sounds, even mental ones, weren't very pleasant for him).

Macaque, of course, was never one to miss an opportunity to call Wukong out.

Which was why it was so surprising when MK beat him to the punch.

"Monkey King, are you okay?" MK asked, and Macaque sat up straighter, paying more attention, because oh, he wanted to hear this.

"Of course bud! Why do you ask?" Wukong said, and despite the fact that his back was to Macaque, the shadow monkey just knew that the other was lying.

"Well I don't know, you've just- seemed off, is all." MK said, shifting back and forth as he seemed to contemplate what to say. "Like, a little slower maybe? And I haven't seen you use your cloud in days, which is kinda weird, since you normally seem to use it-"

Wukong stiffened, and it was at this point that Macaque got genuinely curious, deciding that he had to see what kind of expression the other monkey was making right now. So, he slipped down into the shadows of the tree, and reappeared out of MK's shadow, startling the both of them as he slung an arm around MK's shoulder. 

"Kid's right y'know." Macaque said, putting on a smirk as he looked at the other. "Even I've noticed, and I've barely even been paying attention."

That was a lie, and he barely kept himself from wincing as he felt the tingle of magic flow through his body.

Only for nothing to seemingly happen. That was...mildly concerning, he'd felt the flow of magic, so something had definitely occurred, he just couldn't tell what.

...Well, whatever. If he couldn't notice it then it probably wasn't important.

Macaque refocused back in on the subject at hand, studying Wukong's expression. Nothing he hadn't expected, the usual nervous smile and look in his eyes that indicated he was lying where all there.

Or, well, most of it was expected.

The slight twinge of fear was new.

"I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong!" Wukong said, taking a slight step back. "I'm fine, really!"

Both MK and Macaque rolled their eyes in sync.

"If you're so fine, then explain to me why you keep waiting until MK is almost right in front of you before blocking him?" Macaque asked, MK nodding along as he spoke. "Seriously, it's like you can't see it unless it's close-"

Both Macaque and MK froze, coming to the same conclusion at the same time. Wukong, seeing the expressions on their faces, scratched his cheek nervously, avoiding their gaze.

"Oh my heavens." MK said, "You need glasses."

"I do not-"

-

Tang had been having a peaceful day at the noodle shop.

Having, being the key word.

Because suddenly, said peaceful day was interrupted as Macaque appeared out of nowhere beside him. Tang barely kept himself from startling out of his stool. (He'd started to grow used to the shadow monkey's sudden appearances, but that didn't really make them any less startling).

Macaque, for a moment, looked confused as to where he was, looking around in surprise, before taking notice of Tang and schooling his features into something unreadable.

"Oh." He said, "Uh. Hello?"

"Hello to you too, Macaque?" Tang said, a little confused, before finally taking notes of one important fact.

Macaque's eyes were fully purple.

"...Ah." Tang said, "Not Macaque."

"Hm, smart man." 'Macaque' said, leaning back, "Nope, I'm not the original. Just a shadow clone, that's all I am."

"Why are you here? Is there trouble?" Tang asked, worry seeping into his voice. The clone just shrugged.

"Dunno." 'Macaque' said, "One minute, I didn't exist, the next, I'm here."

"How can you just not know?" Tang asked, blinking in disbelief.

"He probably created me on accident." 'Macaque' said, almost as casually as though he was reading out a morning newspaper.

"That can happen??"

"Well, not normally, but in certain cases-" The clone started, then paused, eyes narrowing. "Well, actually, if that's the case, he probably doesn't know I exist right now..."

"Shouldn't you... tell him?" Tang asked, and watched as the clone contemplated it.

"Well I mean, not telling him would be kind of funny." He said, before shaking himself out of it. "No- no, you're right, I should probably tell him."

The clone proceeded to go completely silent, and Tang watched him with thinly veiled concern. After about 2 minutes of silence, with the clone making increasingly dramatic facial expressions, Tang decided to comment again.

"...Are you actually contacting him right now?" He asked, and the clone broke out of whatever state he was in to glance at him.

"Hm? Oh- yeah." He said, "Mental connection, y'know?"

"Then how come MK doesn't ever-"

"Cause he doesn't know it exists."

-

Of course. Of course the lantern had made a clone.

That certainly explained why there hadn't been any obvious reaction after the magic tingle.

Although, it was weird that the clone had ended up in the noodle shop. Why on Earth would it have formed there?

(In all honesty, it was probably because, once again, Macaque felt safe there. But he never planned to admit that fact, not even to himself, so he slid that thought back into the deepest part of his mind.)

As it was now though, Macaque sat back under the tree, head in hands, mentally communicating with the clone as MK and Wukong continued to argue about whether or not the Monkey King needed glasses.

"C'mon!" MK said, stomping his foot on the ground, "Just admit that you're nearsighted already! It's obvious!"

"I don't need glasses!" Wukong said, hopping backwards as MK tried to tackle him. "I can see just fine!"

This statement was contradicted, as MK suddenly moved backwards, distancing himself from his mentor. Macaque could see Wukong squint, something he wouldn't normally do-

And then MK moved forwards, with a speed Macaque honestly hadn't seen him use before (and wasn't that funny, that somehow this argument was actually causing MK's speed to improve) and managed to tackle Wukong to the ground.

A roll of parchment fell out of one of Wukong's pockets.

"Oh?" Macaque said, standing up, temporarily blocking his shadow clone's messages out of his mind (it was fine anyways, it seemed to have gotten distracted), he walked over, picking up the roll of parchment. "What's this?"

"Wh-Hey!" Wukong said, looking up from his position of being pinned to the ground by MK, squinting his eyes as he focused on Macaque. "Don't- give that back!"

"Well now, if you're so pressed over it then I kinda have to look, right?" Macaque said, slowly unrolling the scroll despite Wukong's protests. MK, surprisingly, kept Wukong pinned, watching with curiosity as Macaque looked over the parchment's contents. "....Huh."

"What is it?" MK asked, and Macaque turned, holding out the unrolled parchment so that MK could see it. Wukong, at this point, stopped struggling, simply laying on the ground face down.

"Tell me, Wukong, why exactly do you need a map?" Macaque asked, crouching down in front of the other. "You planning on going on vacation again or something?"

"You're going to leave me again?" MK asked, and maybe Macaque was just hearing things (rather unlikely....) but there was almost a note of panic in MK's voice.

Wukong must've picked up on the panic too, as he quickly jumped into reassurance.

"Woah, hey, I'm not- I'm not vacationing any time soon." He said, attempting to shift around a little, before sighing. "...Could you get off me now, please?"

MK scrambled to get off his mentor, Wukong slowly sitting up and stretching a little. Macaque rolled his eyes at the display, shaking the map a little to draw their attention back to it.

"Hey, I'm not letting you off that easily." He said, "Explain the map. Now."

Wukong sighed again, avoiding both Macaque and MK's eyes.

"...Fine, so maybe I.....wasn't exactly on vacation...." Wukong muttered, "I was...searching for something. A weapon."

"...To fight the Lady Bone Demon, right?" MK asked, and Wukong looked at him in shock.

"How'd you-"

"Maybe leaving your successor alone when there's a powerful demon on the loose isn't the best decision, Wukong." Macaque said, rolling up the map and putting into his own pocket, before lightly rubbing his arm, a few specific... memories running through his mind. "Seriously, be glad she still hasn't gotten everything she needs."

"What do you know about what she-" MK started, then cut himself off, looking at Macaque as though he'd been given the answer to everything. "She's the one who hurt you."

Macaque didn't respond, turning around and walking away.

"Hey wait- where are you-" Wukong started-

"I'm going back to my spot under the tree." Macaque said, "You two can sort through whatever your 'vacation' was about on your own."

-

"...Huh." The shadow clone muttered, eyes closed as he seemingly listened in on whatever was happening to the real Macaque. "That's.....interesting."

"What is?" Tang asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Nothing really important." The clone said- and started melting slightly. Tang looked on in confusion as the clone suddenly panicked, stumbling over his words. "Wait- no I mean- it, it is important, but not really something I should be the one to tell you about?"

The melting stopped, the shadow clone returning to normal as he let out a sigh of relief.

"Does that....usually happen?" Tang asked.

"No." The clone answered, but didn't elaborate. Tang figured he'd just have to ask the real Macaque about it later. "...Anyways, do you think you could help the real me out with something?"

"Depends on what said something is." Tang said, crossing his arms.

"It's nothing bad, I promise." The shadow clone said, chuckling. "But, would you happen to know where I could buy a pair of glasses?"

-

"This is dumb. I look stupid."

"Aw come on Monkey King, I think you look cool!" Mei said, MK nodding along with her. "The glasses suit you just fine!"

Wukong sighed, sitting in the noodle shop with his arms crossed, leaning on the counter.

"What's with the sudden need for glasses anyways?" Pigsy asked, sliding a bowl of peach slices over to the monkey. Subtly, he also handed a bowl of plums over to Macaque, who was sitting slightly off to the side in the shadows.

Wukong stiffened, pausing for a moment before opening his mouth to answer-

"And don't lie to me." Pigsy added, and Wukong slouched a little.

(Macaque had to admit, it was kinda fun to watch the Monkey King basically get reprimanded like a child.

The only reason he didn't comment on it was that he was sure that if he did, he'd get the exact same treatment.)

There was a moment of silence, before Wukong groaned, laying his head down on the table, and muttering something that was too quiet for the others to hear, but nearly made Macaque choke on the plum he'd been chewing on.

"What?!" He said, in pure shock, "You- you're losing your powers?!"

Almost instantly, there was pandemonium.

"What do you mean you're losing your powers!" MK practically screeched, "That can happen?!"

"I don't know, but it's the only explanation I've got!" Wukong said, throwing his hands up into the air. "I can't use my golden vision or my cloud anymore- and I don't know why!"

"How, exactly, does this relate back to you suddenly needing glasses?" Pigsy asked, completely ignoring how the others where in varying states of a mental breakdown.

"I- I usually just use my golden vision to make up for it." Wukong said, "Like, magic contacts, you know?"

"...And now you can't do that anymore." Tang said, "Because you can't use your golden vision."

"......Yeah." Wukong sighed.

"Is there...anything we can do to help?" Sandy tentatively asked.

"Well, I was planning on going out and finding.... something." Wukong said, turning to look at Macaque. "Speaking of which, you promised you'd give me the map back once I got glasses, and I'm wearing them now so-"

Macaque tsk'd, pulling the map out of his pocket and tossing it over to the other monkey, who caught it and placed it upon the counter. 

"It's not like I can go and get it now though." Wukong said, the others staring over him to look down at the map. "Since I can't use my cloud anymore..."

"I have an airship." Sandy said, and Wukong turned to look at him in confusion. "We could use that, to travel there."

"What- no. No. Absolutely not." Wukong said, jumping up onto the counter (ignoring Pigsy disapproving glare), and staring down at the others. "In case you don't remember, you guys have something called mortality. I'm not going to just bring you guys with me-"

"Like you have much of a choice." A new voice said, and Macaque barely kept himself from startling as he suddenly noticed Red Son beside him.

"How long have you been there-" Macaque hissed, but was ultimately ignored.

"You coming too, Red Boy?" Mei asked, despite Wukong's faint protests that nobody was coming with him, thank you very much-

"I have nothing better to do." Red Son said, shrugging. "My parents went on vacation a little while ago, I've just been hanging around since then."

"So, we're all going?" MK asked, glancing over at Macaque, who, realizing he was being stared at, sighed, standing up and stepping closer to them, in the light.

"Fine, whatever." He said, "If you guys want me to go, I'll come, but I'm not happy about it."

The others stared at him, with a mixture of confusion and shock.

"....What?" Macaque asked, already dreading the answer. MK slowly pointed behind him.

"Has your shadow always moved like that?" He asked, and Macaque didn't even bother to look, instead immediately slamming his back against the wall to cover it as he threw a glamor over his own shadow. He wasn't sure what it had been doing that the others saw, but he absolutely refused to let it be seen any longer.

"...Whatever it was you saw, forget about it." He said, and while most of the others simply shrugged, accepting it as just him being weird, looking away-

The look in Mei and Wukong's eyes did not promise good things.

-

The first day on the ship, everyone was mainly focused on settling in, making sure all their stuff was where it needed to be, choosing rooms, so on and so forth.

And so, for the most part, Macaque was free from whatever Wukong and Mei were planning.

The second day on the ship, however.

The second day on the ship made Macaque wish the airship had a plank so he could jump off of it.

It had started small.

"Hey, Macaque?" Mei asked, grabbing his attention before practically shoving her phone into his face. "What do you think about this?"

Macaque could barely register the image in front of his face, but eventually parsed it out to be a picture of- a kitten??

"I hate it." He said, instinctively, and almost immediately started sinking into the shadow beneath him. Mei, being so close to him, immediately noticed, confusion flashing on her face for a brief second, before a smirk took over.

"If you say so." She said, and backed off, turning away as Macaque hurriedly pulled his feet out of the shadows before he could sink any further.

Some part of him hoped that would be the end of it.

As soon as he ran into Wukong though, he instantly knew that this wasn't over by a long shot.

"Macaque." Wukong said, leaning against the wall, and Macaque instantly noticed that his glasses were missing.

"You owe Tang 5 cents." Macaque hissed, it was well known that Tang had made the Monkey King promise to pay him whenever the monkey was caught not wearing his glasses. Macaque, of course, didn't really care, but he was looking for some way to distract Wukong from whatever he was planning to do to him.

"I'll pay him later." Wukong shrugged, and Macaque mentally cursed. "So. How'd you sleep last night?"

Macaque wasn't going to be led into the trap this obviously was.

"How did you sleep last night?" He shot back.

"I didn't." Wukong said, perfectly honest. "I did see you walking around for a bit though, so I'm curious as to whether or not you slept. You need it more than I do, remember?"

That.... was true. Macaque did need to sleep more than Wukong did, but-

"I slept just fine." Macaque lied, sighing as he felt the glamor over his ears fade away. Wukong crossed his arms, a concerned look on his face, but Macaque ignored it, choosing instead to walk into a nearby shadow to teleport to another location on the ship, throwing his glamor back on as he did so.

(He, in truth, was in the same boat as Wukong, both literally and figuratively. He hadn't slept at all, instead laying awake all night, worrying.

Wukong was losing his powers. MK was not nearly close enough to being ready. The others, outside of Red Son, might have some powers or abilities, but they are no where near close enough to being capable of beating the Lady Bone Demon.

He'd have to rely on the unknowns of this weapon Wukong was seeking out.

Macaque didn't like relying on unknowns.)

He emerged in the ships engine room-

And very nearly fell right on top of Red Son.

"Watch where you're going!" Red Son huffed, dodging out of the way and angrily brushing non existent dirt off of his jacket. "Seriously, what is with you guys and trying to knock me to the ground?"

"Maybe you just look very squishable." Macaque muttered, not really intending on giving Red Son a proper response. He actually didn't want to interact with anyone right now, especially not Red Son, so he turned, moving to leave the engine room-

"Not so fast." Red Son said, stopping Macaque in his tracks by grabbing hold of the back of his scarf. "I've got some questions for you."

Hm. That didn't bode well.

"What makes you think that I have any answers?" Macaque asked, only to be met by a deadpan look that promised-

That promised fire if he didn't co-operate.

If there was a list of things Macaque strictly didn't want, fire would be number one, at the top of the list.

"...What do you want to know?" He asked, slumping a little in defeat.

"Why you stayed." Red Son said, elaborating when Macaque only looked at him in confusion. "Your wound healed. You were perfectly free to go. And yet.... you stayed. Like you were....trying to protect something."

"Uh, yeah, myself, obviously." Macaque said, shrugging. "Hanging out around the Monkey King and his successor is the safest place to be after-"

"That's not it." Red Son said, and Macaque froze. "Sure, staying around them while you're weak makes sense, you'd need someone to protect you. But after you've recovered? Once you're strong again? Sure, I can understand you getting attached, but always staying around them is a little strange."

There was a glint, in Red Son's eye, and Macaque suddenly remembered a moment, yesterday, where Mei had dragged the fire demon off to the side to have a little conversation. He'd thought nothing about it at the time, but now-

"You say that you're protecting yourself....But at this point, somehow, you're mostly protecting them, aren't you?" Red Son asked, "Whatever it is you're hiding, you're hiding it to protect both yourself and them."

Macaque didn't answer, instead staring at the floor.

Whatever Mei and Wukong had been planning, Red Son was in on it.

And he was very clearly not as interested in taking a subtle approach.

"Your powers have been on the fritz lately." Red Son said, almost like it was an afterthought to his whole theory. "Don't think that we haven't noticed. It's different from Wukong though, in that you're not losing your powers, if anything, it's like they're getting stronger, almost as though they're being drawn from a different source-"

Macaque didn't want to stay here any longer.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He lied, and didn't resist as his powers fluctuated in response, letting himself completely fall into the shadow behind him.

-

He ended up falling out of a shadow on the ceiling.

Luckily, it was in his own room, so no-one else was there to witness it.

Didn't mean it didn't hurt though.

"...That's gonna bruise later...." He muttered to himself as he slowly pushed himself off the floor and stood up.

For a moment, he just stood there, slightly dazed.

And then he started pacing.

This was not good, the others were onto him, he wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer.

Not to mention the lantern, it's influence on his abilities was getting stronger the longer he left it inside himself. There was literally no telling how far it's influence would go.

(He'd already started noticing some strands of his fur turning purple. It wasn't anything that couldn't easily be covered up by a glamor, but the fact it was happening at all was incredibly concerning.)

He had to find another place to hide it. But where-

And suddenly, Macaque was struck by an idea. A rather bad idea, honestly, there was sure to be consequences from this, but it was the only idea he had right now.

-

The ship's clock struck 4 am.

Macaque slipped into MK's room, holding the faintly glowing lantern.

For a moment, he stood there, beside MK's bed, letting the lantern hover over top of him, thinking.

Maybe......maybe he shouldn't do this. He could probably find another way, something more reasonable than a hastily made, sleep deprived, decision. After all, the lantern had proven that it came with side effects, who knows how it'd affect MK?

Well. If he's actually being honest, he was hoping that the Monkey King Magic MK had would effectively cancel out the lanterns effects.

...He had no way of proving that it could do that though.

After a few more minutes of standing there, mentally debating, Macaque finally came to the decision that, yeah, this wasn't a good idea, he should just go back to his room and try to sleep for the few remaining hours of the night, come up with a better plan tomorrow-

A loud sound clanged from the engine room, and Macaque startled, barely keeping himself from squeaking as the sudden noise surprised him, squeezing his hands on instinct-

And snapping the lantern in half, the bottom piece falling and merging into MK's magic.

For a moment, Macaque just stood there in shock.

Then MK curled up, letting out a small noise of pain as little golden and purple sparks started shooting across his body, and Macaque panicked, reaching into MK's magic and hurriedly pulling out the other half of the lantern, shoving both pieces back into himself as MK started to stir.

By the time MK was sitting up, blinking his eyes open, rubbing his arms and looking around the room in confusion, Macaque was gone.

-

The next day, Wukong practically broke down Macaque's door, MK in tow.

"Mine explaining to me why there are traces of shadow magic all over MK?" He asked, before pausing as he registered the scene in front of him.

Macaque was curled up under his blankets, a pillow over his head effectively hiding him from view. The only part of the other monkey that Wukong could actually see was his tail, which was dangling over the side.

This wasn't really that weird, Wukong fully remembered that the other monkey was in no way a morning person.

...It was slightly more weird due to the fact that it was lunchtime.

"Is he...okay?" MK asked, leaning over his mentor's shoulder.

"You tell me." Wukong said, "You're the one with the golden vision right now."

Macaque's tail, which had been swinging idly, froze, and suddenly there was a mad scramble as he tried to pull all the blankets off of himself and sit up at the same time. Essentially, he ended up rather tangled, and was far too late to stop MK from using his golden vision.

-

At first there was nothing MK hadn't already expected. The bags under the eyes, the mussed up fur, the six ears and the scar. These were all things he knew that he'd find.

The purple streaks in Macaque's fur was surprising.

But not nearly as surprising as the lantern that lay intermingled with Macaque's own magic.

"What do you see, kid?" Wukong asked, and MK watched as Macaque sat up straighter, finally managing to pull the blankets off of himself.

"Nothing! He sees nothing! Right, bud?" Macaque asked, a panicked twinge in his voice, and-

MK could see the lantern flare, the magic traversing Macaque's entire body, before condensing around his arm.

Which proceeded to sink into the shadow on the bed.

"...Well." MK started, staring as Macaque pulled his hand out of the shadow and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "That's not something you see every day."

-

"So I was right then?" Red Son asked, "He's been storing the lantern within himself?"

"How'd you even know about the lantern..." Macaque muttered, from where he sat at the kitchen table, leaning back with his arms crossed. His glamor had been taken down, allowing everyone to see the purple streaks in his fur.

The lantern sat on the table in front of him.

"I have my sources." Red Son said, looking overly proud of himself. Macaque huffed, looking away.

"I thought you said the lantern was destroyed?" Mei said, using a spoon to lightly poke the lantern, almost as though it would grow legs and run away.

"Yeah, like, I saw you break it-" MK started, and then was stopped mid sentence as Macaque raised his fist, before harshly crushing the lantern, breaking it into pieces. A few of the others jumped. "What did you do that for-"

Macaque simply raised his hand, letting his magic call out, and letting the pieces slide back into their proper place. By the end of it, the lantern looked as good as new, as though it'd never been broken. MK watched the display with wide eyes.

"I did break the lantern." Macaque said, "It's just not that hard to fix."

"Regardless-" Wukong started, grabbing the lantern out of Macaque's hand, the lantern switching from it's usual purple to a soft golden glow as he did so. "You seriously should've told us that you have this. It would've saved you so much trouble."

"Would you have trusted me, if you knew I still had it?" Macaque asked, only to be met with silence. "...Yeah. Thought so."

There was a moment of silence as Macaque sat there, looking down, not meeting anyone's eyes. Then Sandy softly placed his hand on Macaque's shoulder.

"It's not that we wouldn't have trusted you." He said, gently. "We would've just taken a bit longer to come around, is all."

"Uh-huh, sure, keep telling yourself that." Macaque said, still looking at the floor, and thus missing the entirely silent conversation everyone else shared.

They all agreed they probably weren't going to get very far with this issue any time soon, by the look of things. (That didn't mean they wouldn't bring it up later, though.)

"If you thought we wouldn't trust you if we knew you had the lantern, then why didn't you just, I don't know, throw it away?" MK asked, and Macaque sighed, slouching down in his chair.

"...Lady Bone Demon wanted it." He muttered, and everyone immediately stood up ramrod straight.

"What?" Wukong hissed, staring down at the lantern in his hands as though he was seeing it in a new light. "Why- what could she possibly want with-"

"Don't know, didn't stick around long enough to find out." Macaque said, shrugging. MK and Red Son both looked horrified.

"That's how you got injured." MK muttered, "She must've captured you because she wanted the lantern...."

"The Lady Bone Demon has a cursed blade..." Red Son said, under his breath, only Macaque hearing him.

"Yeah yeah, I got captured, I got injured, whatever, it's all over with now." Macaque said, waving a hand around as though he wasn't making light of something horrifying. "Anyways, anyone else got any bright ideas on where to hide the lantern?"

"....Was that a pun." Wukong asked, "Seriously. You reveal that the Lady Bone Demon is after both you and the lantern and then you swap topics with a pun?"

"You got a problem with that?" Macaque asked, a smirk on his face. There was a moment of tense silence as the two of them stared at each other.

Wukong set the lantern back down on the table.

And then tackled Macaque out of his chair and onto the floor. Macaque let out a startled yelp as they went down, before quickly switching to clawing at the other as Wukong easily pinned him to the ground-

And then suddenly Wukong's grip weakened, and Macaque easily reversed their positions, pinning Wukong to the floor. For a moment the Monkey King looked confused, before a look of nervous realization appeared on his face.

"Uh- guys?" He said, nervously giggling as Macaque and the others stared at him in confusion. "Um. I think I just lost my super strength?"

[talonwings]

Who We Are - Empires SMP writing

a gift for you, empiresblr, courtesy of my now 5 hours of fWhip headcanons. feel free to kill me when you're done. (also sorry i don't yet have an AO3 i can link to, i've been on the wait list foreeevvveerrr).

CW for slight body horror, angst, and i guess suffocation kind of?

“fWhip? Hello? Are you in here?”

He heard the call--how could he not have, when the voice was hers? Still, he did not move, remaining where he slumped against the wall of the underground room. One of the redstone crystals blooming from the stone was jammed against his shoulder blade, but even the pain could not entice him to rise.

“fWhip, come out!” Gem’s voice was a mixture of frustration and concern, a tone he rarely heard from her--well, the frustration he had heard before, but the worry was new. Gem almost never fretted about anything; it was how she had kept him and Sausage so well in line up until now.

“I’m going to come down there!” The threat echoed down the passageway that separated the secret room from the unassuming shopfront above it. “I know where your lair is, it isn’t a secret! Don’t make me come down there!”

“Don’t,” fWhip rasped. “Please.”

Gem either couldn’t or didn’t hear him. “I’m giving you one minute, and then I’m coming down there whether you like it or not!”

“Please,” he tried again, but his voice would not obey him. It petered out almost as soon as it passed his lips. He licked them, swallowed, coughed, tried a third time. “Gem, please, go away.”

This time, it seemed, she did hear, for she answered, “I will not go away! Nobody’s seen you in two weeks, fWhip! We’re worried sick!”

“I’m fine,” he croaked--a lie.

“You don’t sound fine,” she retorted. “I’m coming down.”

He opened his mouth to warn her off again, but the tell-tale sound of the painting door sliding back masked whatever he might have tried to say. Seconds later, her footsteps started up, the familiar click of those heeled purple boots getting ever louder as she marched along the passageway toward his laboratory.

fWhip’s gaze darted around in a panic, searching out anyplace that would be suitable to hide. He hadn’t moved from his current spot in over twelve hours, and his limbs protested as he shoved himself violently to his feet, teetering off-balance from the unfamiliar motion. Finally, he settled on a small cranny near the back of the chamber, and limped over to it, cramming himself inside just as Gem’s footfalls indicated that she had reached the door to the lab itself. He heard her swing it open, and then her voice, much clearer now, softly called, “fWhip? Where are you?”

“Go away,” he replied, hating the stony rasp that he couldn’t seem to get rid of now. “Don’t want to see you.”

“Well, that’s just rude,” she replied. He could imagine the look on her face, and fought against the lump it brought to his throat. He wanted to apologize, to beg for her forgiveness, to throw himself into her arms.

“Didn’t ask you to come,” he croaked instead.

“No, actually, Jimmy did,” Gem replied waspishly. “Your enemy. You remember him? The one you stole his most precious possession from? He sent me a message three days ago to tell me he hadn’t seen or heard from you in over a week. Mind you, this was after I’d been questioned by Sausage, Pearl, and Shrub as to why you’ve missed the last two alliance meetings. fWhip, even your enemies are worried about you. Where have you been?”

Oh, if only you knew. His mouth twisted with a hateful, bitter little smile. “Busy.”

Gem audibly scoffed. “Right.”

“Leave, Gem.” The order tasted strange in his mouth, when he desperately wanted her to stay.

“Not until I see you.” He heard her start moving around the room, picking things up and nudging them with her feet, rearranging boxes and sliding barrels aside as she searched.

“Leave.” The cranny was small, but he squashed himself further inside anyway, stone scraping against all the places where his skin was exposed.

“Are you back there?” His stomach squeezed with terror as he heard her move toward him, squeezing between two of the suspension tubes where he had once stored specimens he was researching. “I can’t see you.”

“Please, leave, please.” If he couldn’t order her, he could at least beg her. “Gem, please, if you care about me at all, go away.”

“fWhip, I do care about you,” she said gently. “That’s why I’m here in the first place. Please come out. I just want to know you’re safe.”

He could feel his heart ripping itself in half--desperation to hide warring violently with the desire to finally be seen, even if it would cost him everything. It felt like it might burn a hole in his chest, and his hands tightened reflexively into fists as he battled himself for what seemed an eternity.

“Please, little brother,” Gem whispered.

It was as if she had caved his chest in. A sob dragged itself from his throat before he could stop it, but he finally let himself unfurl from the cranny to drape limply across the floor, gazing up at his sister’s blue-violet eyes as they widened in shock, which turned to horror, which turned to sorrow.

“Oh, fWhip…” Gem reached out a hand toward him, but hesitated, drawing her fingers back before she could reach him. “What happened?”

“You really want to know?” He had to shove back another sob with a monumental effort, watching the way her fingers trembled as she gazed at him. “Or do you want to leave, like I told you to before?”

“No, I would never,” she gasped. “Not now. Not like this.” She sat down on the floor, her violet cloak flowing behind her like a pool of silky water, and slid closer to him, although not quite close enough for their hands to touch. “Tell me what happened.”

He let his eyes drift away from hers, toward the ceiling and the red crystals dripping from its shadowy recesses. “Well, it began two weeks ago.”

Two weeks earlier…

fWhip was not a stranger to surprises, but he liked receiving them far less than he liked planning them.

It had been a long elytra flight from the undisclosed location of the Wither Rose headquarters back to his home in the Grimlands, and the multiple hours in the air were wearing on his body--even though he had been wearing his scarlet goggles for the duration, his eyeballs still ached as if the wind had been hammering them, as did his shoulder blades from the yank and drift of the elytra against his own muscles.

“Maybe next time I take a horse,” he muttered to himself as he angled in for the landing. The deepslate roofs of the Grimlands were beginning to glide by beneath him now, and he made for the circular patch of dirt at the back of the manor that was his customary landing site, his eyes trained on it until something else caught his attention.

“I am positive that was not there before…” One hand came up to tap his chin as his gaze caught on the massive outcrop of deepslate that had bloomed at the front corner of the manor gardens, studded with glinting redstone crystals. A darker shadow within the ring-shaped formation suggested there might possibly be a hole there, though how deep was indiscernible from this far above.

“If somebody has been trying to steal from me again--wait.” fWhip narrowed his eyes at the spot, investigating it more closely now, for it seemed more familiar the closer he drew. He could vaguely recall setting a circle of rocks within the closed hedges, and in their center, a red container, filled with--

“Damn! Xornoth again!” His breath huffed out harshly as he realized what had happened. First the explosion, and now this…

Veering off-course from his typical spot, he carefully glided down until he was low enough to snap the elytra closed and drop gracefully to the ground between the wide hedge rows. From down here, the deepslate ring seemed much larger than it had from the air, its jagged edges stabbing into the blue sky. He could tell now that there was, indeed, a hole at the center, exactly where he had placed the shulker-box filled with Xornoth’s corruption.

“Damn,” he whispered again. He edged closer, peering carefully at the hole as he neared in an attempt to see what might be at the bottom. It appeared to be deeper than he was tall, however, and he was forced to maneuver up to the very lip of the hole to get a good look at the bottom. Thankfully, there did seem to be a bottom, lurking maybe ten feet below the surface; the depths of the hole were quite dark, though, only dimly illuminated by patches of glimmering red crystals, and he was unable to determine much more than that.

fWhip wondered, briefly, if he ought to just ignore the hole. Common sense would seem to suggest that it was involved with Xornoth in some way, and therefore worthy of at least being avoided for the time being until he could request the help of his allies. fWhip, however, whether fortunately or not, had always been availed of a strong sense of curiosity--it was how he had developed so many of his gadgets and tools. Besides that, there was something about the depths of the small hole that seemed to call to him, and him specifically.

He glanced around, taking stock of who might be nearby in case he needed to call for help, and saw no one in the immediate vicinity. There was a groundskeeper’s cottage just on the other side of the hedge row, but he had no way of knowing whether anyone might be inside.

“Well, I suppose I’ll just have to take a chance,” he murmured. “Here goes.”

Gingerly, he sat down at the edge of the hole, dangling his legs off the side and exploring for possible footholds. It took him a minute, but his toes finally caught on a ledge, and he was able to hoist himself down and into the vertical shaft. Thankfully, the same jagged-edged property of deepslate that made it look menacing also made it excellent for climbing, and he had relatively little difficulty lowering himself the full ten or eleven feet to the bottom, where his feet landed on solid stone. Looking up, he was surprised how dim the sky seemed to be after such a short descent.

Now what? he thought to himself as he gazed around at the narrow walls on all sides. Surely I didn’t make an ass of myself climbing down here for no reason.

He had but a few seconds to wonder, as a strange hiss caught his attention, echoing from the rock walls. He couldn’t tell where it was coming from, but the small hole began rapidly to fill with a reddish mist, which, when he inhaled it, made the inside of his nose and throat burn as if he had inhaled fire. He coughed, accidentally inhaled again, and coughed more violently, and still the stuff spewed into the cavern, and he began to wonder whether this was a trap, and whether he had been an idiot for climbing down here, and whether his allies--his friends, his sister--would find his corpse rotting down here. His hands scrabbled for handholds to lever himself back up, but the mist had filled his eyes now, and it stung, forcing him blindly to his knees. He couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, could barely think. Lights danced behind his eyelids, and his throat was a tunnel of fire, and then he was unconscious, and knew no more.

Present day…

“And the next thing I knew, I woke up. And...this.” fWhip gestured down to himself, unable to keep his mouth from curling like he had tasted something sour. “Or, well, part of it.”

“Part of it?” Gem cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it was just the wings at first.” He tugged at the grey-black appendages, hating that he could feel it when his fingers brushed the leathery flesh. “And to be honest, I thought they were awesome. Who hasn’t dreamed of having wings? Sure, they looked a little gargoyle-ish, but it seemed like a small price to pay for not having to use elytra anymore. And it felt like the redstone magic was helping me, maybe giving me a gift to fight against Xornoth. I thought it might be something good.”

“And then…” Gem prompted when he trailed off.

“And then...the rest started,” he whispered. “I tried to ignore it at first. I thought maybe I was hallucinating, or getting sick, because it started with just my eyes, and I felt like maybe it would go away if I just, I don’t know, pretended not to notice. But then it was my skin, and then my hands, and then...and then my face.” He turned away from her as a visible shudder made its way through him. “I look disgusting.”

“Why didn’t you call us for help?” Gem murmured.

“Because it was my fault it happened!” he growled, shaking his head. “Because I was an idiot and went down that hole and breathed in that gas, and now I’m a monster, and I have no one to blame but myself. Because I couldn’t wait for you.”

“fWhip, no!” He could see the glimmer of moisture in her eyes, and he hated himself even more for it, for making her upset. “It isn’t your fault. You didn’t know what would happen, and you’ve always been an investigator. And now you’ve had to suffer alone, and I had no idea, and…” Her voice caught. “I was so worried. I thought maybe the demon…and especially after those dreams...”

He swallowed. “I...I’m sorry. I just...I didn’t know how to face everyone like this.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, simply listening to their own breaths. Finally, Gem said, “It doesn’t look that bad, you know.”

fWhip eyed her dubiously. “Gem, I look like a gargoyle. Like some kind of…” The word demon couldn’t force itself out, but he could see she understood, for she vigorously shook her head.

“No, you don’t look anything like that,” she said. After a long pause, she quietly added, “You look like my little brother.”

He tried, but couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks. “Thanks,” he whispered.

She reached over and finally took his hand, and he almost shouted with joy at the touch of another person; her skin was warm and soft, her delicate tiny fingers gentle as they closed around his rough, clawed ones.

“We’ll figure this out,” she promised. “Together.”

He nodded, and squeezed her hand. “Together.”

[quietrainfan]

Hey! Anyone want some heavy platonic Loceit angsty headcanons I've extracted from the new episode? Well, too bad because it's happening regardless. :)

Yes, also some Unsympathetic Patton. You know what blog you're on. (This interpretation/headcanon shall not die. Not here.)

(Also, this is going to combine my observations and thoughts as well, so sorry in advance if this post turns out as a bit of a mess.)

Alright, so! Orange Side confirmation. How we feelin', Sanders Sides fandom, how we feelin'?

Honestly, the Orange Side theory wasn't something I was really all that into. It was a 'meh, could be cool' headcanon for me personally. But I have to say the way the reveal was handled made me jump in my seat with pure joy. No joke, I audibly gasped when Logan's eyes flashed orange.

It was all downhill from there, I was excited. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a sucker for character's eyes glowing when they've reached their limit or are displaying a power they've never shown before, combine that with an unexpected reveal and I'm sold.

Plus, glowing eyes have been a common theme with Unsympathetic content and Dark Side headcanons so you could imagine how the first peak into the Orange Side's existence (or, rather confirmation. we all saw the 'hello' hint, Orange, you cheeky little munchkin.) was his color in Logan's eyes made me feel. It was so cool!!! Ah!

Then Thomas had to tease us again at the end card with our boy Orange's eyes popping up in the darkness, waiting for his chance to be too loud to ignore. Like, the audacity. Who do you think you are, Thomas?! (That was a joke. Sorry, I'm just really pumped.)

Also, Remus got quite a few laughs out of me. Ah, I missed him.

Okay, headcanon time! We're going to do Logan first, then Janus, then combine the two. Sound good? Alright, here we go (Trigger Warning for discussions of alcoholism, please if anything I write here sounds insensitive or inaccurate, let me know and I will edit. Also, no need to read if you don't want to. Stay safe.) :

Logan

Logan knew where to grab for that alcohol bottle.

I mean, I guess that makes sense since he lives there and is naturally the most observant Side. But...that bottle's placement was a little too convenient.

Sure it was played up as a joke and it was funny.

But something about the way Logan threw his coffee into the sink and quickly replaced it with the wine stuck out to me.

I've joked about Logan and/or Janus having to "drink to cope" due to sharing the single brain cell Thomas has amongst all the chaos. But seeing that in an actual episode, even as a gag, is kind of...different.

Let me explain.

This may be a common thing for Logan that he struggles with.

He wakes up early to be the first one to help Thomas start the day, naturally. Logan goes to make his cup of coffee and there's always the lingering urge to take a sip of wine before anyone can see because he just...can't face everyone without needing just a little bit of it to cloud out all the gross, petty, negative feelings he experiences every day around them.

He's logic. He can't be drinking and risk any more harm to Thomas's function.

So, it's a constant battle with coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine-

Most of the time Logan is able to resist and go with the coffee.

It doesn't make him feel good in the slightest. If anything it makes him feel even worse knowing he'll be more alert that day.

Logan hates that was even a thought at all. He needs to be alert. Otherwise everything will fall apart. He is the rock in the system and without him everything will crumble.

Such a selfish mindset. He needed to focus.

Other days Logan just doesn't have it in him to discard the wine regardless of how much he wants to.

He knows what the day holds for him. It was all so repetitive at this point. Logan knew when he wasn't able to get through it despite it all.

That didn't stop him from shaming himself for caving. He should be able to handle this. He's made so much progress with resisting it up to this point but today he through it away again because he just had to, right?

Sometimes Logan finds himself "cheating" by hiding a couple drops of wine into his coffee on days when he chose the coffee but later felt particularly bad about...a lot of things, into his second cup.

Logan more often times chooses neither. The temptation for clouding out the others was just too strong and was a waste of time.

Logan is beyond tired of the others.

Every single action they have agitates him now. No matter how minor it is.

Roman's loud voice and constant references makes Logan's toes unconsciously curl beneath his shoes. Even a silent warm smile and wave from the prince fills Logan with an unpleasant tingle in his knuckles.

Virgil's neverending foreboding and unnecessary nasty remarks that he doesn't even bother to filter provokes Logan's new habit of biting his tongue. Any kindness he ever gives him makes his stomach twist.

Patton's nicknames, poking for for a laugh, his "sweet" way of shoving away any objection he may have, how casually he behaves as if he isn't part of any problems- how quickly he's prepared to "bounce back". Logan feels like every word, action from him something steps on a guitar cord in the back of his mind that makes the ugliest, loud, screeching sound. He feels this strange warm fuzzy ache he can't define. All he hears is that cord playing faster and faster the longer he stays in their presence. Logan no longer trusts himself alone with Patton.

Logan thinks if he just separates from the others long enough, the ugly strumming noise will go away.

But he's so wrong.

Logan can hear it even when he's all alone. When it's finally silent, he still can't get rid of it.

It's loudest when Logan is alone in his room. Logan has lost count of how many nights he's spent clenching his head, quietly sobbing, and praying for it to just go away already.

Logan often feels like he's losing it.

On nights where the sounds are particularly louder than usual, he swears he can see orange shadows creeping around him, lights of the color flashing on and off, he sometimes even sees it seeping in and out of the cracks of his door like a thick fog. At times he'll even wake to it glowing absurdly bright through his window.

It's just the sunrise. Logan tells himself. He has to believe that. Everything else looked normal, after all.

What's worse is Logan doesn't know how long he's been hearing this sound or seeing the strange lights.

Patton knows about Logan's late night and early morning struggles.

But surprise, surprise, he pretends as if he's nonthewiser.

If either Virgil or Roman asks about Logan, Patton will answer: "Oh, that silly billy's probably got his head in one of his astronomy books again! I wouldn't bother him right now."

Knowing full well he's having an emotional breakdown in his room that gets worse every day.

Knowing about the little sneaks of alcohol in his hot morning beverage. Might even speak about yummy drink combinations when they hang out in the living room, while Logan is present, specifically and even only on the days Patton knows he's cheating with his bad habit, while he's still drinking it.

The further Logan is to the edge, the better. Patton is still bitter about the events of Redux ending in his favor, after all. He needs leverage from somewhere.

When Thomas left to see Nico, Logan heard the cord again. His chest tightened and though he could feel the tears welling up, he kept them down.

Thomas hasn't been very happy lately. He had to let him have this.

No matter how loud those cords get.

Janus

I noticed that Janus was either unseen by the others or unacknowledged by them.

Janus was near all of them but far enough that he was separated.

He could've just popped up at the end without them noticing but...that's less angsty therefore less fun so-

Janus has been the instigator for bringing Sides that have been hidden away to be brought to light for a long time. If the assumption that Janus let Remus out is true.

He's always been hinting at upcoming events that are sure to come if Thomas continues to ignore certain aspects of himself.

He knows. He knows our Orange boy is getting worse and soon will be too loud to ignore. Janus wants to protect Thomas but that's becoming harder every day. Thomas is making it harder.

Janus will reveal the Orange Side eventually. And very soon. Hell, that's looking like less and less of a choice considering Logan's...outburst.

I think Janus has this painful awareness that he can be seriously hated for doing his job. After all, he's always the one who's forced them to acknowledge uncomfortable truths about Thomas.

He's the one giving them all of those hard pills to swallow and especially after Remus, it is definitely overwhelming and exhausting to be met with.

They question their roles more and more because of how used they are to the fixed mindset Thomas has had for such a long time.

That can't feel good.

Janus knows that his job may cause more hatred to fester the more that's revealed.

Janus is being kept at arms length and he knows that won't stop any time soon.

But he's a clever snake. That won't keep him from keeping an eye on Patton.

(Find it real suspicious that Patton was all mushy with Janus in that end card but still is at a big distance from him.)

Loceit

Janus will sometimes find Logan in the common room with his head in his arms, sprawled out against the coffee table. His glasses being discarded from half his face, unmistakable tears lazily dripping out of his lifeless eyes.

Janus would wordlessly go to the sink and grab a glass, filling it with water.

Janus goes over to Logan, giving him a gentle rub on the back. He urges him to sit up. It takes Logan a few minutes but eventually does.

Janus hands Logan the water, supporting the back of his neck as struggles to get it down, reminding him to take his time.

Janus takes his glasses and gently sets them on the table. He hands Logan some tissues.

Logan lifelessly takes them and tries to clean his face. But he always ends up crying into them.

Janus moves Logan unkempt bangs from his face before moving his head to his shoulder. Janus manifests a warm blanket over Logan and uses a bit of his abilities to soothe the shorter man's pain, tenderly putting pressure on his neck.

Janus and Logan have a talk. Logan always asks why he bothers to stop and comfort him.

"You've helped me through a lot, Logan. Not returning the favor is out of the question."

That was always his answer.

Janus and Logan do this often.

Janus opens up about sometimes needing a bit of a drink himself from time to time. Though mostly that consists of tea more often than not, he sometimes has a glass of wine or two to relax on days when it's particularly hard.

He feels ashamed of it. Janus has to be the strongest out of everyone, especially the Dark Sides. Allowing things to faze him was the worst case scenario. At least, to that degree.

But Janus understands that isn't his fault and urges Logan not to blame himself, either. While he hated that weakness he occasionally submitted to, he wasn't going to let the rare slip up to define the worth of his role.

Logan thinks that Janus really is the strongest out of all of them just for saying things like that and he's being too hard on himself.

On nights when things become too much Janus will sit with Logan and share a drink. They try to have as many conversations without wine as possible but sometimes Janus says "screw it" and sits with Logan with one or two drinks.

Just having Janus there helps Logan choose his coffee in the mornings and feel as if he's being heard even a little bit.

Now if only those cords could actually quiet down, that'd be even better.

[mandoalorian]

Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader]

ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 5: The Covert ✩࿐ ˚.✧

Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.

Word Count: 2300>

Warnings: possessive!Din, manhandling, discussions of an arranged marriage, food mention

Series Masterlist

You’d made yourself feel welcome on Nevarro. It was a beautiful day and you made the effort to speak to some of the locals. You even spotted a vendor selling sourberries, so it was a shame that you had no credits on you to make a purchase of the craved food. Grogu was having the time of his life too. He stayed close to you for the most part, but he did take you to a small green water pond so he could eat the frogs when you weren’t looking.

As you adjusted your cloak, you noticed, on the other side of the pond, a group of stormtroopers. There were about five or six of them, standing in a circle and making brief glances back to you and the child. It was enough to make you uncomfortable, that’s for sure. Din wouldn’t have taken you to another Imperial ruled planet. That would have been ridiculously unsafe -- so, why were they there? Maybe you were wrong to leave the ship. Maybe you should head back now.

“Hey kid,” you cooed quietly, reaching out to grab Grogu and hold him in your arms. “We better head back now.”

“Leaving so soon?” A stormtrooper asked, the second you swivelled around on your heel. He was just inches away from your face, so much so, you thought you could see his eyes through the visor of his white Imperial helmet. “We have eyes on the princess.” he announced through a comlink, and your eyes went comically wide upon realising the trouble you had got yourself in.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, your gaze snapping towards the stormtroopers on the other side of the pond, who were now making their way across the shallow waters.If you didn’t make your move now, you’d be surrounded in a matter of seconds. You slowly began to back away, clutching Grogu to your chest for dear life. “Uhm…” you could always negotiate. That was a skill of yours. You just didn’t know how well it would be utilizing in front of half a dozen stormtroopers. “Boys…”

And within a blink, each stormtrooper fell to the floor, one by one, their bodies crashing down with a thud. One even fell into the pond. You felt your entire body stiffen up, your heart rate picking up speed. You spun around again, ready to bolt back into the village and towards the ship, when you went crashing into a beskar chest plate. “Ow!” you cried, rubbing your nose as you pulled away from… Din. Kriff.

You looked up at him, feeling completely and utterly exasperated, and you offered the Mandalorian a weak smile. “I can explain…” you wheezed. “But how did you-- how did you--”

“Whistling birds.” Din replied, his voice having dropped an octave. Even through the modulator he sounded terrifying. You knew what whistling birds were, remembering that your aunt Bo-Katan trusted them deeply. He tapped a few buttons on his wrist gauntlet before grabbing your arm and tugging you away from the backwater pond. His grip on you was tight, and firm, and you swore that he had more strength in his hand than you did your entire body. And you weren’t necessarily weak, you didn’t necessarily have a low muscle mass, it was just the Mandalorian was so hench. That much was clear when you noticed how thick his biceps were or how broad his shoulders were, or the way his muscles flexed in his calves with every step he took. You shouldn’t have noticed these things about him, but the fact is, you had, and it sent you into a frenzy.

Maker, he wasn’t hurting you, but he was absolutely manhandling you, dragging you across the grassy sludge as if you were incapable of walking yourself. “Din-- get off!” You growled, trying to tug your arm out of his grip.

Without hesitation he paused in his footsteps and pulled out a small counter device before flicking the switch and turning it on. Low and behold, a hologram image appeared of you. “What is-- what is that?” you questioned, not liking the look of it at all.

“Bounty puck.” he answered matter-of-factly, before turning it back off and sliding it into his pocket. 

“I have a bounty on me?” You asked, your voice going a little too high pitched for comfort. Was that a dumb question?

“Yeah.” Din replied back, in a familiar low modulated grumble, his gloved fingers digging into your skin. “Not just any bounty, an Imperial bounty. You’re lucky I found you before some other hunter got their hands on you.”

“Yeah, I feel very lucky.” you rolled your eyes, your tone of voice dripping with sarcasm. And oh Maker-- Din didn’t like that. He stopped in his footsteps again and this time he grabbed both of your arms, holding you firm and steady. You were scared to breathe the wrong way under his grip.

“You should feel lucky, princess, you know what those kinds of people do to pretty things like you?” he hissed, and you felt a wildness of butterflies erupt in your stomach. Pretty. It was one word and he probably didn’t even mean it. Of course he didn’t mean it, because Din was pissed with you. He wouldn’t be paying you compliments, or at least, not right now. He was trying to intimidate you, and honestly, it was working, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on just a little bit.

And as it turned out, maybe Din liked the idea of being your rescuer a little too much. 

“What do they do?” you whispered, and Din trailed a gloved hand to your neck and let his fingers glide across your jaw before grabbing your neck and giving it an experimental squeeze. Again, it didn’t hurt, but it was enough for you to be put in your place. You had been so used to ruling Mandalore and taking charge, but now you were the one who submitted to Din. He was the one who enforced the rules, that much was clear.

Din didn’t reply to your question, just as much meekly chuckled and shook his head. “You’re lucky,” he repeated, reinforcing his previous statement. “But if you want to misbehave, I can just as easily hand you in.”

He wouldn’t, would he? No. He wouldn’t.

He was just very, very mad.

He was trying to scare you, but you wouldn’t cave. You were better than that.

But still, you wanted to know what exactly would happen if you misbehaved. Your curiosity had piqued significantly.

“You left me and Grogu on the ship, alone,” you muttered by the time you had reached the outskirts of the village. “I thought Nevarro was safe.”

“It was,” Din retorted bitterly. “Keep your head down and take my hand. Imps are swarming the town, we need to hide you before they notice anything suspicious.”

You weren’t going to argue with him because in that moment you knew for sure he was still desperately trying to protect you. He could stay angry with you all he liked, but he was bound by the code of Mandalore to make sure nothing happened to you, and that was good enough.

Din pulled up your hood and tied the little ribbon that bound together your cloak. “I can dress myself.” you mumbled.

“Keep your head down.” he grunted in response.

So, as Din dragged you through the cobbled paths, you didn’t look up once. He was taking you along back alleys and different routes to try and avoid any unwelcome contact, but you did realise that he had parked the ship in the north and you were currently advancing east. Grogu made a confused noise as if he was reading your mind.

“Where are we going?” you quizzed Din.

“Safe spot.” 

If there was one thing that irked you about the Mandalorian, it was his lack of words, or the way when he did speak, he said things as if they couldn’t be questioned. Like they were set in stone.

“Safe spot?” you quirked an eyebrow, wanting a little more information out of him.

But of course, he didn’t provide. “Safe spot.” he reiterated, before dialling in a code on a security panel that was nailed to a wall. 

The door slid open and Din pulled you in, before the door quickly snapped shut behind you both. It was a long dark corridor down that was illuminated with burning candlelight. 

And for the very first time since your childhood, you were greeted with the presence of other Mandalorians, each decked out in full body armour. You felt like an intruder who couldn’t help but stare and take in the fascinating sight before you.

“What is this place?” you asked, your jaw agape.

Whatever annoyance Din had been feeling before was instantly eradicated when he took just one look at you. He felt his heart swell in his chest as he noticed the glimmer in your eyes. It was curious and child-like. It gave you this beautiful radiance.

“Covert.” Din replied, the simple one word response offering more information than he’d previously given you. “You’ll be safe here.” he promised.

Din took your hand this time, interlocking his gloved fingers in yours. The touch took you by surprise as it differed from his rough manhandling that you had gotten accustomed too. You followed Din down the never ending corridor until eventually, you both passed through an alcove and were introduced to a golden Mandalorian. 

“This is the Armorer,” Din said. “She’s my mentor.”

The golden Mandalorian curtseyed before you before rising back to her feet. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, your highness.”

“The pleasure is mine.” you hummed, still slightly distracted by your whereabouts.

“This specific covert is over two hundred years old,” The Armorer explained to you. “It was the only covert that wasn’t raided during the Great Purge,” You winced at the way she had brought up the memory. “The walls are thick and we have a squad on defence. I trust that Din Djarin has been treating you well?”

You tried to hold back a smirk as you wondered what would happen if you told his mentor of how he’d gotten angry with you. But the truth was, Din had been good to you. Maybe more so than you probably deserved. He never chose to take on this mission, but done so because it was his duty. He was helping you because it was the right thing to do, and that was enough. Morally, Din might have considered himself grey, but you believed that he was in fact a good person.

“He’s been great.” you said softly, and Din felt his cheeks heat up under the beskar.

“Hmph,” the Armorer replied before turning to the Mandalorian. “Can I have a word with you in private, please?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in bewilderment as you watched Din and his mentor walk away, leaving you with Grogu. 

“She’s not wearing the ring,” The Armorer said, and despite the golden plated mask that covered her face, Din just knew she was frowning. “You haven’t asked her yet, have you?”

“I haven’t exactly gotten the chance,” Din huffed. “We’ve just met. If I asked her now she’d never say yes. We barely even know each other.”

“But you are getting along fine?” The Armorer asked, and Din didn’t reply. He just breathed an exasperated huff of air which wasn’t even picked up by his modulator. “We can’t give her the protection she desires if she doesn’t marry into the Watch. This is the way.” The Armorer explained matter-of-factly.

This is the way. Din often wondered if the Armorer just made up ‘the way’ as she went along, using it as a way to justify all her decisions. Although, it did make sense, to a degree. Din’s creed were very proud. They were strong, and there were at least thirty other children of the Watch roaming the halls of the covert. If you married into Din’s creed, you would technically become a child of the Watch yourself. You’d be safe.

Would it be wise to bring up the things you had told Din about the Watch, and how they had treated your people? Din had been questioning it, but there was no way of telling how the Armorer would react to such gossip. The last thing Din needed right now was for his mentor to think he was betraying his creed in favour of the princess.

The prolonged silence between both Mandalorians prompted the Armorer to speak up again. “You have until nightfall to propose. Otherwise she must leave, and you will seek new protection.”

And that was when the first penny dropped. This was essentially blackmail, and it left Din with no choice. Sure, you were great. You were strong and beautiful and you had this undeniable fiest about you. And Din saw the way you were with Grogu. It was enough to soften him more than he’d ever been softened before. You brought out a completely new side to the Mandalorian. Maybe one day, Din could marry you - out of want, not need. Maybe settling down with you and the kid would be… nice.

He’d thought about the prospect of leaving everything behind when he last ventured to Sorgan and befriended the gentle widow Omera. But in that moment, he had other priorities to focus on. But what were his priorities now? Before you came into his life, he was simply floating between bounties and residing on Nevarro with Grogu. Grogu. That was Din’s priority. And now… you were too. So no, proposing wouldn’t be ideal. But if it meant guaranteeing your safety, Din knew what he had to do.

And he had until nightfall.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711​​ @supernaturalgirl​​ @phoenixhalliwell​​ @ah-callie​​ ​ @stardust-galaxies​​ ​ @wickedfrsgrl​​ ​@goth-topic ​​ ​ @nerdypinupcrystal​​ ​ @wonderfulfluffer​​ ​ @kiwi-the-first​​ ​ @pedroepascal​​ ​ @castiel-barnes​​ ​ @honeymandos​​ ​ @rocketqueen​​ @ladycumberbatchofcamelot​​ ​ @dybalalover10​​ ​ @girl-obsessed-with-things​​ ​ @elena-myth​​ ​ @moth-guillotine​​ ​ @pedro-pascal-love​​ ​ @hayley-the-comet​​ ​ @pinkninja200​​ @maxiarapamaya​​ ​ @autumnleaves1991-blog​​ ​ @artsymaddie​​ ​ @harrys-stan​​ ​ @kennedywxlsh​​ ​ @cripplingmoon​​ ​ @cheekygeek05​​ ​ @mrschiltoncat​​ ​ @rye-flower​​ ​ @theamuz​​ @persie33​​ ​ @sleepylunarwolf​​ ​ @martellthemandalor​​ ​ @pedro-pastel​​ ​ @steeevienicks​​ ​ @rrtxcmt​​ ​@saphic-susperia ​ ​

Borrowed Time taglist is tagged in comments

Let me know if you wish to be added to my permanent taglist or my Borrowed Time taglist.

[ckneal]

I know that it’s not the week for it, but you know what’s going through my head today?

Michael, going to Purgatory to fish out the Ghoul’s soul, just like he promised Adam that he would, and how annoyed he must have been when he realized he’d have to make the trip alone. Because of course the Ghoul couldn’t go, being soulless—that’s the whole reason Michael has to go in the first place, since Adam’s gone and enmeshed their lives together not just with the monster who had killed him in his first lifetime, but with the very part of that monster’s being that is tied to the earthly plane and incapable of traversing the higher levels of existence available to humanity and all its misfit offshoots only in the afterlife. And of course, with Adam now settled in his old, human body—having been painstakingly reformed from the ashes that the three of them had tirelessly rooted for in the woods outside of Windom—the Ghoul couldn’t very well be left on his own. Soulless and driven primarily by his id, there was no telling where the Ghoul would wind up or who he might hurt if left unsupervised.

And so, Michael begrudgingly has to go to Purgatory alone, possibly aware of the fact that no sooner would the portal close behind him (after all, Michael could open and close the door to Purgatory at will, there was no need to risk who knew what creeping out into their motel room), before the Ghoul leaned over to Adam and murmured something along the lines of, “So, you remember when Michael was dead, and how we’d get off telling each other all the things we’d do if we weren’t stuck in the same body?”

MEANWHILE, Michael was left with the nearly impossible task of finding one stray monster soul in the gruesome, ongoing battle royale that is Purgatory. His choices of strategy are to either assume his trueform and squint down at the souls scurrying over the realm like a swarm of ants in hopes of finding one specific ant, or to walk around in his human-looking form, hoping to find the one soul he needed to find in order to go home. Both were exhausting, and not helped by the fact that Michael had no idea if the Ghoul’s soul was even there—what with the way that the monsters were constantly murdering one another. Even the angels (as per Castiel in season 6) didn’t know where the shredded souls of Purgatory went after they died again here. On top of that, even when presenting himself as human, Michael’s grace gave off an aura that inherently attracted the attention of monsters and Leviathans alike, and while neither was a true threat to an archangel, the continuous fighting was numbingly tedious to say the least.

Especially since most of the beasts that Michael bested and offered to show mercy in exchange for information burst out laughing when Michael then revealed that he was looking for a ghoul from roughly ten years ago. Monsters on the more harmless end of the spectrum didn’t last long in Purgatory.

Eventually, Michael gets a lead about a cave rumored to be a djinn’s nest. Djinn were naturally highly sought after by the less violent souls who found themselves in Purgatory. With no way to escape, it wasn’t uncommon to pursue a gentler avenue to that second, inevitable death in a djinn’s trance. But some people had overheard telltale sounds of fighting coming from inside the nest, suggesting that something else might actually be hiding there.

Michael tracks down this nest, knowing that it’s a long shot. The Ghoul’s soul would have been living in this bloodbath for a decade, after all, but he steps into the alleged djinn’s nest and feels the solid impact of a club striking ineffectively against the back of his head, and sure enough, there stands the Ghoul.

One thing that Michael found unexpectedly jarring was how young the Ghoul looked. He hadn’t thought much of it when Adam had asked him to age up their shared body—supposedly to help him slip back into his old life if he came across anyone he used to know—but the difference was hard to ignore when he was looking at Adam’s face as it was the day they met, under the coating of grime that marked every moving thing in Purgatory. A face that was, additionally, staring at Michael in a mix of confusion and terror. And it was only then that Michael turned his head and realized that it wasn’t a club that had hit him, but an axe—made of silver, if Michael wasn’t mistaken.

It was an awkward first meeting. Naturally, having been in Purgatory over the entirety of his soulless-sona’s relationship with Michael and Adam, the Ghoul had no idea who or what Michael was, and looking between Michael and the now dented axe, could only reasonably conclude that whatever Michael was was a lot harder to kill than a shifter. He took about three seconds to assess the situation, and then did exactly what had helped him survive in Purgatory for so long: ran for all he was worth.

On Michael’s part, he was realizing that he’d been so caught up on the headache of finding the Ghoul in the first place, that he hadn’t even considered what he would say to him when they finally met in this place. “No, wait!” were certainly not the first words he would have planned on.

The next hour or so was spent with Michael reminding himself over and over again that he loved Adam, and Adam loved the Ghoul, and he had promised to do this for both of them. He let the ghoul run outside the cage and then used his wings to relocate himself into the Ghoul’s path, the wayward soul crashing directly into his chest, and Michael’s arms springing around him to keep him from getting away. The Ghoul turned out to be surprisingly feisty though, and while Michael had no doubt that the Ghoul wouldn’t break free, his struggling was a nuisance. Michael wound up pinning the Ghoul against a tree—decidedly ignoring how his soulless-sona would likely have enjoyed that.

“WHAT are you?”

“I am the archangel Michael—”

The Ghoul’s struggling promptly resumed, along with a line of panicked cursing. “Okay, fuck, I know I wasn’t the best guy, but fuck, really? There are so many bastards in here, and you’re going after—”

“I’m not here to hurt you!”

“Okay, but I’m not looking to accept anyone as my lord and savior either! GET OFF ME!”

“Adam Milligan sent me.”

The Ghoul finally stopped struggling at that. As best he could around Michael’s hold on him, he started to gesture to his own face—then stopped and gestured to both his and Michael’s face. “You mean Adam Milligan as in. . ?”

“Yes.”

“WHY?”

“I will likely ask him that question every day for the rest of our lives.”

“Our—”

And it is at that point that Michael becomes aware that his grace—beacon that it is in the madhouse that is Purgatory—had attracted a horde of Leviathans. The Ghoul can hear it too, as whatever’s coming their way is big enough to topple trees. Michael tells the Ghoul to stay close so he can keep him safe, which elicits another strange look from the Ghoul, who had had very few experiences with people wanting to keep him safe, even before he and his siblings were killed. He reminds Michael that Leviathans are pretty high up on the food chain, and Michael assures him that he’s so far above them that he isn’t even on the food chain. The Ghoul winds up running anyway when he sees how big the horde is, Michael shouting after him.

Leviathans, of course, can’t actually kill an archangel, but that isn’t the Leviathans’ goal. They’d heard the rumor about a vampire who managed to make its way out of Purgatory smuggled inside a human soul, and wondered what their chances would be stuffed inside an archangel’s grace. And as such, they abandoned their humanoid forms and proceeded to throw themselves onto Michael as tar-thick liquid goo. Michael could blast them off of himself, but it was difficult with how they skittered around, and there were so many of them—and then all at once, a bottle crashed against Michael’s side, and his entire being was enveloped in fire. A startled, terrified noise burst out of his throat, realization triggering a memory that Michael usually kept firmly out of mind. Then something heavier crashed against Michael’s chest, and he tumbled backward with a splash.

When he opened his eyes, the Ghoul was on top of him. The two of them were laying in the bed of a shallow river Michael hadn’t even noticed before.

Scrambling up into a sitting position, the Ghoul asked, “You alright?”

“What was that?”

The Ghoul reached into a satchel he was wearing—which was now soaked through. What he held up was clearly a molotov cocktail, but when Michael looked closely there was something swirling in the liquid inside.

“Phoenix ash. Djinn who had the cave first, um, had one. I heard it took out Eve, figured it could help with those things.”  

“I see. . .” Michael started to sit up as the Ghoul carefully tucked the bottle away.

Then the Ghoul cleared his throat and asked, “So. . Are we friends, or something?”

“Something like that.”

The look the Ghoul shot Michael was sharp. After all, phoenix ash wasn’t exactly a resource to waste on just anyone, and Michael begrudgingly offered, “You have memories waiting on earth that will explain all of this.”

“How do I have memories on earth? I’m dead.”

“. . .It’s complicated.”

“And what, I’m supposed to just trust you? No secret code, or sales pitch or anything?”

“It’s a long story. If I go into it, we'll likely be interrupted.”

The Ghoul frowns and stands up, water running off his clothes as he wades out of the river, thinking. Michael moves to splash water on his face, still shaken from having been set on fire, even though his grace is already healed. He’s interrupted by the Ghoul saying, “Alright, let’s go.”

Michael says, “Just like that?”

And the Ghoul looks uncomfortable, frustrated and vulnerable because he isn’t convinced, but he gestures around them, to the scenery that is currently calm but littered with bones sticking out of the mud left and right, evidence of past bloodshed that would only repeat again and again throughout eternity. “What else am I gonna do?”

 And so Michael snaps his fingers, and the portal back to earth opens.

Outside of a body, a soul is actually a very small thing (see season 11), and so Michael actually winds up cradling the Ghoul’s soul in his hands as he steps back into the motel room. And then promptly drops it when he finds Adam and the soulless Ghoul in a state of undress in their king-sized motel bed.

“Oh hey, you’re back!” Adam says, rising out of the bed in a pair of shorts, as if he hadn’t been doing anything wrong—which, of course, he hadn’t been, Michael reminds himself as he let Adam kiss him in greeting. Even so, he finds himself having to draw in a long, calming breath when he looks over and sees the soulless Ghoul grinning at him, reclining on the bed, unbothered and completely naked.

Souls are immaterial things and not subject to the laws of gravity. And as such, when Michael dropped the Ghoul’s soul, it didn’t so much hit the ground as float gently toward the bed, inherently drawn to the other part of itself that resided within the Ghoul’s body. When it reached him, it fazed right through the Ghoul’s chest, without ceremony, and only then did the self-satisfied smirk leave the Ghoul’s face, as he bolted upright, looking like he was about to be sick. Adam was concerned, but Michael assured him that everything was fine. The Ghoul’s head was merely spinning as a decade’s worth of memories inserted themselves into his consciousness, merging who he’d been on earth with the part of him that had fought for his life in Purgatory.  

“He should probably stay in bed. It will take him awhile to adjust.”

“Right. . .” Adam nodded and turned back to Michael. It was actually a little surprising how quickly concern disappeared from Adam’s demeanor, Adam trusting Michael’s assessment of the situation unequivocally. Heat replaced it as Adam’s lips found Michael’s again. “I know you don’t need to sleep, but do you want to lay down with us for awhile?”

Adam already had a hand lightly resting on Michael’s belt.

Still on the bed, the Ghoul was watching them with interest.

Later, when Adam was asleep, half sprawled on Michael’s chest with the Ghoul curled against his back, Michael opened his eyes when he felt finger tips idly moving over his stomach. He looked over and found the Ghoul, propped up on one arm, watching the movements of his own hand over Adam’s shoulder, with an expression on his face that Michael found unreadable. The Ghoul’s hand withdrew, and Adam nuzzled in closer to Michael when he moved incrementally, trying to get a better look at their third companion. And even as the Ghoul laid there, perfectly still when their eyes met in the dark, as an angel Michael was aware of how the Ghoul’s heartrate spiked as he seemingly sucked his tongue for a moment before saying, “Thanks for, you know.”