#specifically everybody’s worried about owen’s songs

[autistic-katara]

imagining ur blorbo while listening to ur favourite song is what i imagine heroin or sex feels like

[doomsdayradio]

AND YOU ARE A LITHOGRAPH SKETCHING MY HISTORY UNDER THE FLOODLIGHTS YOU LOOK MORE LIKE GOD TO ME

[exopelagic]

i am now entering finals mode so very sorry i’m gonna be dead for approximately 12 days

[b0tch3d-analog]

songs i think would fit my fav outsiders characters (mostly pony)

theres going to js be empty ones for now cuz im listening to playlist and adding on so js like check back later if ur interested

and i’m only doing ones that ive shaped in my mind already cuz im not the best w the rest of the characters

PONY :

mawce - everybody’s worried about owen

great expectations - brody grant (obviously i had to throw in the outsiders musical🤗)

hey look ma, i made it - panic! at the disco (this could also be for johnny but wtv)

collar of truth - violent vira (specifically chapter 12 for this one)

ocean avenue - yellowcard

be more chill pt 2. - be more chill (musical)

kids - current joys

JOHNNY:

born to die - lana del rey

yellow - coldplay

re - do - modern baseball

evil - melanie martinez

bad habit - steve lacy

SODA:

things to do - alex g

fight or flight - conan gray

powder - melanie martinez

sarah - alex g

im no superman - johnnie guilbert

DALLY:

bird song - florence + the machine

burned - grace vanderwaal

mental handcuffs - jake webber

brand new city - mitski (this could also be 4 johnny aswell)

you’re one of them aren’t you? - the paper chase

oh ana - mother mother (after johnny dies)

anarchy - jake webber

killionare - jake webber (i’m sorry hes so jake webber coded)

CURLY:

trailer trash - mccafferty (curly is so mccafferty coded btw guys)

your graduation - modern baseball

zombie - johnnie guilbert

CHERRY:

right where you left me - taylor swift

breathe (2am) - anna nalick

I DUNNO WHICH ONE HELP ME:

beachboy - mccafferty

only 6 cuz their my favs

[seasonal-writes]

“how do you talk to star?” - title from the song of the same name by everybody’s worried about owen (since it’s back up, ao3 link is here!) characters: jimmy (mainly)/tango cw: none unless you consider the insane amount of introspective themes throughout this thing. so! little note! guess who wrote something new and finished it. for the first time in months. it is short, i am rusty, and i DEFINITELY wouldn’t say it’s my best work but i like the concept a lot and churned this short and sweet little introspective fic last night in a writing haze! i missed four calls from my family members help.

It is based on this prompt list, specifically number 7. :) hope you all enjoy this super short, ramble-y, jimmy is very much pining one-shot! ~

Jimmy has learned it takes nothing. Barely a glance, he has found, for all of the sediment—that he thought was long stationary—to be kicked up again, to clog every artery and leave him struggling to breathe.  His conundrum lies in the side profile of Tango. The curve of the tip of his forehead, drooping into the bridge of his nose and rolling over two delicate hills of pretty, thin lips. Yes, he with the dancing eyebrows and teeth flashing, pulling against his lip when he grins and eyes that almost sparkle in sync. Tango—devastatingly, heart-achingly, undeniably and beyond beautiful Tango who has yet to notice his staring.  If Jimmy were to be grateful for anything, he’d be grateful for the obliviousness of his quarry.  Tango, in a stunning move, laughs without a care in the world. It’s so loud and clear and Jimmy feels a smirk tugging at the corner of his lip, the cause of such being obvious to anyone who may notice his ogling. Though, making a home in the corner of this crowded living room, he has no intentions of intruding. Of course, maybe he wishes he was the one making Tango laugh like that. Maybe he wishes that intoxicating gaze could be on him, rather than those who engage him. “You know, you can just go talk to him, right?” Grian asks, a gentle nudge of Jimmy’s elbow making him turn. Jimmy snorts.  Maybe that’s the problem, isn’t it? Jimmy probably could just go talk to him. He’d been watching him for so long, for so many occasions—if he were a more attentive man, he’d have studied the patterns by now. He’d understand every little joke, made a note of everything that could make him more appealing, more fun to talk to. Instead, he gets lost in it. When he tries to keep track, he fails. Being analytical was never his strong suit, and it never failed him more than when he was trying to figure out how to talk to the one he is very much in love with. The one who, as far as he knows, is very much not in love with him.  “We talk,” Jimmy says, “We’re just friends, that’s what friends do” “Yeah, Tim, and I’m just an idiot.” “You said it, not me.” Jimmy tries to say it seriously, but he can’t help the grin. “I bet he’d like to chat. You two always get along well,” Grian says, dodging the jab flawlessly and turning his eyes to Tango, the two now watching from the shadows.  “Well- yeah, I guess.”  Another problem. They did get along well. Too well, in fact. He had friends, had people who he could count on and talk to or laugh with. Jimmy even knew what it felt like to be flirted with, to be teased in that way. But it never quite felt the same when it was with Tango. And it just confused him anyway, was Tango flirting with him? Was he flirting back? He knows well that sometimes he just stumbles into things without looking first, that was no doubt. It could very well be that Jimmy was just fooling himself, wandering into something that he didn’t get a good look at before exposing his neck to the danger of misinterpretation.  Maybe, in reality, Tango was just indulging him—even if he is a really, really good guy, the concept was dangerously easy for Jimmy to trust.  “I just think that if you’d get off your perch and just go up to him, or wave or- geez, just stop staring and do something, it’d probably be fine.”  “I appreciate your suggestions, but I am comfortable right here,” Jimmy says, “He’s busy, anyway- see?” He nods up in the general direction of Tango, noting how he is casually conversing with Impulse and Zed, who keep him engaged. Grian groans.  “Not gonna be busy forever, man.” “Well, I can’t go talk to him right now, then. Maybe later.”  He feels Grian clap a hand onto his shoulder, sighing. “Whatever you say, Tim. But those feelings are just going to fester till you say something, you know.” “..I’ll- I’ll take my chances,” Jimmy mutters, swallowing hard.  He only glances at Grian for a second while he moves off into the rest of the party, not bothering to track where he’s heading once he leaves.  When he finds Tango again, there’s not much of a difference. Zed left. Impulse still has him explaining something. He can tell by how his hands move, how his gestures get big and small and create the shapes of whatever figures are drawn out in his mind. Jimmy always admired that. He’d gotten it up close, once, when Tango got into one of his redstone rambles and talked at Jimmy while he just nodded and smiled and listened, despite having zero clue about what he was saying. Jimmy may not be good at redstone, but he’s sure if he was asked what he liked about Tango, he would go into the same sort of ramble. Big hand gestures, small hand gestures—anything to properly convey how smitten he had him.  Tango had no idea.  Jimmy was sure, at this point, he was destined for a forever’s worth of pining. A lifetime of restless stomachs, of rocking heartbeats that sound more like scattered drums than something meant to keep him alive. He will spend the majority of his days avoiding the fire and getting used to the cold of the corners, growing fond of the way his eyes glaze over as if he has stared at the sun for a little too long. … and.. still.  Something inside of him roared, clawed at its cage and said let me out, said tell him. He couldn’t really tell what was holding him back—was it just fear? Anyone would be scared to confess, sure. It could be the rejection, the dreamt up, awkward and letting-you-down-easy smile. The sorry, I’m just not into you that way. Or, maybe, it was the worry that things would go well. After all, they had gotten to know each other closely. Teaming up will do that to you. Talking almost every day will do that to you. Running into each other at parties, taking walks, talking about redstoning and building and bearing your every wound to each other almost shamelessly on the bad days and sharing in the joys on the good days, as if it was always meant to be just like this. Jimmy feels himself suddenly come back into himself like a head slamming into a wall, taking note of an astonishing development.   Tango is looking at him. Impulse now gone from sight, he leans against the same wall, but he is looking. Then offering an adorable wave with a tiny smile, Tango straightens his shoulders when Jimmy waves back, like some attempt to make himself look taller—and with the rush of feelings rolling over Jimmy, he feels adrenaline-fueled laughter forcing its way to the surface; it comes out in a quiet wheeze.  It finds him right away. The familiar sensation of Jimmy’s insides dropping like a sinking building, leaving nothing but dust-caked breaths that feel sticky, catching in his throat with every other inhale. He is a ruined mess of a man. A weak, mumbled puddle of warmth and heavy pulses and heat.  He is fucked. Royally, deeply, this-is-it fucked. And they stay that way for seconds, but it feels like years, and Jimmy can’t get enough of it.  Loving someone does feel quite good, doesn’t it? And maybe, being loved right back could feel even better. If he could just get over himself and try.

[worm-filled-carcass]

~☆ Intro Post ☆~

✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫

☆Basic Info☆

~ Online I mainly go by Worms but you can also call me : Wormy/Wormie / any nicknames you come up with, Dean, Jack Carcass or Thunder

~ I'm a genderfluid trans man and I use it/its, he/him and ze/zem pronouns

~ I'm autistic and probably have adhd (tho only my autism is diagnosed)

~ I'm abrosexual with a preference for men and Demisexual (I think)

~ I don't share my age on tumblr but please don't make any sexual comments towards me just to be on the safe side

~ I'm really bad at communicating and socialising so please bare with me, tone tags are much appreciated

~ I'm always open for more moots

~ I do (rarely) post some angsty/vent stuff so be aware of that but they usually have trigger warnings

~ If you behave weird towards me I will block you

~ British 🇬🇧🍵💂🚬🪦

~ oc blog @ocs-probably (no posts there yet tho 😔)

~ pinterest for those who may seek it:

✮ My Interests ✮

Shows/Films ☻

~ Doctor Strange and MoM (mcu)

~ Supernatural

~ Young Justice (dc)

~ The Witcher

~ the Spiderverse franchise

~ Loki (the series)

~ The Umbrella Academy

~ Stranger Things

~ Kakegurui (good anime, DEVASTATING amount fanservice)

~ Moon Knight

~ will add more at some point

Books/Comics/Webcomics ⊡

~ Percy Jackson / Hero's of Olympus / Trials of Apollo

~ School Bus Graveyard

~ the Minecraft handbooks/manuals

yeah I don't read much

Songs/Musicians ♬

~ by James Marriott

~~Over My Head

~~The Other Side

~~Calling

~~Gold

~ by Everybody's Worried about Owen

~~Nunemaker's Parable

~~Solitary Confinement

~~Mawce

~ by Neathen Apollo

~~I Don't Get Sleep

~~Pretty Boy

~ November by Sparkbird

~ Bourgeoisieses by Conan Gray

~ Romance is Boring by Los Campesinos

Streamers/Youtubers ◈

~ Jack Manifold

~ AverageHarry

~ Dantdm

~ Slimecicle

~ Jaiden Animations

~ Ldshadowlady

~ SmallishBeans

Games ☣

~ Minecraft

~ Fnaf (specifically 2 and 6)

~ Animal Crossing New Horizons

~ Fortnite

~ Splatoon 2

~ Rayman Legends

~ Pokemon

~ Lego

~ Genshin Impact (tho I don't play anymore bcz I ran out of phone storage)

~ Doki Doki Literature Club

My favourite characters ☪

~ Doctor Stephen Strange

~ Gabriel (supernatural)

~ The Spot

~ Elias Bouchard

~ Diego Hargreeves

~ Denki Kaminari

~ Leo Valdez

~ Arataki Itto

~ Tony Stark

~ Ben Clark (sbg)

~ Nightwing

~ Steve Harrington

~ Yuri (ddlc)

Characters I kin ✧˖°

~ Sayori (ddlc)

~ Denki Kaminari (mha)

~ Leo Valdez (hoo)

~ Kaveh (genshin impact)

Look at my Dog. His name is Lemo. He's amazing I love him. :D

My tagging system :

#worms has thoughts - mostly shitposts

#worms has big feelings - more personal stuff

#worms ocs - any oc related posts

#worms having a tantrum -just me being upset about things

#worms asks - answering ask

#worm lyrics - song lyrics

#worm stories - real things I've done/have happened to me

#worms makes things - things I've made (drawings, userboxes, etc)

Special tags :

#my darling angel - my wonderful bf @mostautisticangel

✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫✬✫

Take this quiz to find out which of my oc's you are (if you wanna)

(I also have some side blogs where I post mood/stimboards btw if you're interested: @moodboards-probably and @stimboards-probably )

[whimsicalcotton]

i have so much brainrot and i'm so chill with it, thank you for real 🫡✨

ch 7. incredible. amazing. "brazenly, foolishly, helplessly persistent" altered my brain chemistry. plus the end, the vibe you captured in max not knowing/trusting rachel is real and just in her head. haunting. truly, so so insanely, freakishly good.

so so love/happy to be mutuals with someone else who loves and leans into the whump of it all as much as i do!! looking forward/hoping for a goopy, all-ecompassing, max-getting-the-comfort-she-needs/deserves-from-them-both payoff (not projecting at all fs). i can't say how many times i've reread pm, and how so many of them were specifically for the emotional h/c and phenomenal physical connection you write when max first wakes up and hugs chloe, and for when chloe comes and scoops them from the junkyard. i don't think vibrant or resonant are necessarily the right words, but they're all i can think of right now. not like it feels like i'm there, but it's all so real and wonderful that it feels like i could be, which is a, clearly, indescribably amazing feeling for me as a reader.

idk how much you're engaging with Double Exposure atm, but the two songs they're released are so marrow max coded. like, the refrain of September esp goes so hard and all of So, This is Lonely. my stomach hurts in the best kind of way.

shhdjdjsbdhdgd thank you 🥺🥺🥺 glad to hear you like that line especially it was one of favorites. and i do so love to cause unhinged amberfield pain <3 teehee

also hell yeah whump appreciators 🤝🎉 earnestly this AU is 100% just me indulging my unending love of whump so i'm glad other ppl are enjoying it too lol. and djsjdidjdjjshdhd you have no idea how much that means to me,, writing fic for me has always been a "i want to Be Here a little longer" kind of thing so it makes me rly happy that i can also like. drag other people into my vision w me. if any part of that makes any sense whatsoever djdjdhd

and i haven't been like. all over DE but i'm getting plenty of news/updates from my lis mututals (thanks y'all love u <3) i Did however have the opposite experience recently where i thought one of my marrow songs (Introducing Jonah To The Whale by Everybody's Worried About Owen) might wind up being a fitting song for DE!Max

[pidgefudge]

hiii :3 ask game

7, 33, 71, 65 and 94

7. what was your favorite thing as a kid?

transformers rescue bots. every single day after school i would open netflix in the living room and subject my poor father to binging both seasons (the good old days when there were only two,,,,)

33. whats your favorite current class?

ouhhh that's actually tricky. art is *okay* but it's art 1 so pretty restrictive and i don't get to experiment as much as i like. i may actually have to say cs because the labs can be kinda fun i like having a specific goal and specific steps to follow to reach that goal. also i have a 98 in that class which is my best grade in an ap class this year

71. whats your favorite song?

will wood against the kitchen floor!! granted i havent listened to it in a while because ive been more madilyn mei/everybody's worried about owen lately but it's like an overarching favorite yk

65. whats something that would make you fall in love?

ouhhhh i havent done that in over a year but i do gay yearn extensively so heres a few:

- someone who's genuinely interested in my interests and thinks it's cute when i infodump that makes me mega flushed emoji (and bonus points if they get into the thing themself so we can bond over it!! falling in love aside that would make my entire year decade life knowing that i got someone else to love thing as much as i do)

- matching my wit so we can have stupid little semantic debates and play off of each others jokes. but simultaneously being dumb as rocks because i am also dumb as rocks and we need to be able to communicate on the level of my brother and i (our texts are extremely stupid)

- secret third thing if we do an Arguably Homoerotic Activity together (my imagination particularly likes the helping me cut and/or dye my hair scenario) then well. id just be fuckin doomed. weugheffefgh now im gay

94. do you like dinosaurs?

sure ya :3 i was never Huge on them but i definitely like them. in fact i have a lil guy on my nightstand his name is harold the steggy and he's blue!!! also i love jurassic park if that's anything

[rotgender]

NunemakersSwingsetAlbumic // NuSwingAlbumic

A gender identity connected to the 'Nunemaker's Swingset' album by Everybody’s Worried About Owen.

Flag can be used in place of a connection towards specific songs within the album--you can refer to specific -Songic identities however you wish. IE; "Nunemaker's Parable Gender / NuParableSongic"

Flag colors were colorpicked from the album cover to represent the overall album meaning.

[luminecho]

♫ for Phoenix and/or Ruby Rose

Gonna go ahead and do both for funsies <3

For Mr Phoenix Wright:

I will look after your sister, I swear I'll write her when she's lonely, and send it off in the air I will keep her safe until I'm dead She'll always have a place to rest her head You don't have to worry about it now You don't have to live with that frown I will hold your memory close to my chest Though I wish you hadn't said it was best Could you have stayed just one more night For all of us to say good bye

Older Brother by Pepper Rabbit

More of a Phoenix-Mia-Maya song that just him alone but I very much see it as sung from his perspective and hearing it ALWAYS makes me think of him. For obvious reasons. Their relationships still make me drop to my knees clutching my chest istg

Honorable mention as well is Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery specifically because of this this PMV

For my dearest Ruby Rose:

Everything's coming up roses Everything's coming to a bitter, bitter end I'm searching for the problem and I'm looking for a positive Maybe I'll see a few old friends With more faith in God, I would tell you that this was the rapture and we've been left behind Oh, why are we so young with tired Sunken, baggy eyes?

Mawce by Everybody's Worried About Owen

Oh Ruby. Ohhh, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. I swear my Ruby playlist has the most miserable angsty songs on it out of any of my others. Something about interpreting this song as not really recognizing who you are anymore, your past home not really being your home anymore, all the things you once believed in have been upended, you don't really know where you're going.

Another, because we weren't going to get more than a few songs in without a SAL song:

when i was young i fell in love with story, with the eleventh hour, with the blaze of glory. the theater lights dim and all goes quiet. in the darkest of rooms, light shines the brightest.

The Projectionist by Sleeping At Last

A song about falling in love with storytelling from a young age and that love defining you throughout your life, inspiring you to be brave even when things are at its bleakest. The acknowledgment that the real world may not be like a fairy tale, but through remembering these stories and remembering what it is you aspire to be you can gain just a little bit of courage. The epitome of Ruby's character.

(Send me a ♫ + a character’s name and I will respond with a song that reminds me of them. Send a ♫ + a ship and I will do the same.)

[twinksintrees]

🎵 nark and/or scary for the music ask :)

for nark screwing in a lightbulb by everybody’s worried about owen, which i think either you or eddie introduced me too? idk but this whole section

just makes me insane they are so bad for each other but also fuckk they need each other

other songs that make me think of them: maroon by taylor swift, bad for each other by cayley spivy, rerun by honey revenge (specifically for like an on again off again relationship between them), bad idea by girl in red, and disaster by conan gray

and for scary my absolute girl i have dead girl in the pool by girl in red as my number one but also:

dead inside by younger hunger, bad guy by billie eilish, kickin trash by noahfinnce, you’re gonna go far kid by the offspring and ofc welcome to the black parade by mcr

[parasolyaa]

hi! it's your grishaverse secret santa again! (who absolutely did not completely forget christmas was coming up and only realized how soon it is today)

i have one follow up question for you

are there any songs that you associate with the crows? and tell me why

(especially songs that you associate with specific characters but can be for pairings or all of them too. if you have cavetown/lovejoy songs that would be cool since i listen to them too but it can be anything)

hiii! I'm so so sorry I'm replying late, life's been kinda ??crazy?? in a probably good way

so, I took a long look at my playlist again and realised that I assosiate most of the songs with Kaz(and it doesn't necessarily make sence, just vibes yk?) so here we go:

There Isn't Any God by Rusty Cage

Inertia by AJR

Nunemaker's Parable by Everybody's worried about Owen(I think I mentioned these two songs in my prev post but hey I just rlly love em)

Home by Cavetown cause again I love this song. Fits Wylan too

Never Love an Anchor by The Crane Wire as a total kanej song("A ship could never love an anchor/Do you ever think of me and my two hands? And wonder why they never held you gently?" THIS IS SO KANEJ CODED AGHHH)

Alsooo here are some songs that give off the vibes of soc in general for me

Runs in the Family by Amanda Palmer - like it's from Wylan's pov? kinda?

Teenagers by MCR - gonna be repeating myself, but yeah, I am a cringe 2020 alt kid. & I embrace it.

Conversations with strangers by Caitlin Cook

We're Alive by Cavetown

I'll be there for you by The Rembrandts

I'm gonna be(500 miles) by The Proclaimers(last two just cause I love happy songs and happy crows although the canon apparently does not)

hope ur having a good day!

[kitcheninaman]

anyway my everybody's worried about owen hyperfixation is coming back so im going to talk about Nunemakers Swingset. Mostly The Gravedigger And The Nightingale

so, in the tracklist of the album, TGATN comes last, right? and while me and my mate were doing our analysis of the whole thing we realised that on first listen it seems out of place. nunemakers parable is an almost perfect ending to the story, it's the parable of sally nunemaker. its a perfect place to close the story. at least, that's what you'd think.

TGATN is, at its core, a retelling of jesus' crucifixion. the whole album takes inspiration and imagery from different parts of the bible, with the first song literally being called "Introducing Jonah To The Whale". TGATN takes the story of jesus' crucifixion and takes its theme of hope and rebirth to apply it to the album as a whole. throughout the album, there's a theme of despair, hopelessness, loss. until you get to the end. the nightingale is famously a symbol of rebirth, resurrection, the coming of spring. it tells us how even though there is so much despair in the world, There Is Still Hope. it closes the album on a positive note, rather than ending on nunemakers parable and leaving us feeling completely helpless. the contrast between the two songs is fierce and it works So Well.

additionally, the album has two narratives to it. one being the story of sally nunemaker and the stories she's collected from weary travellers, the other being owen's personal experience with their old summer/church camp, gender identity, and mental health. it's a beautifully crafted, two edged sword. you can take each song and apply it to either. specifically with IJTTW and FSSLM, you can take to be two sides of the same story told to sally nunemaker, or owen's experience with his gender identity.

everything from the lyricism to the actual instrumental is beautifully done to aid the story, moving forward the themes and ideals. the album itself IS a parable. it's a story that carries so much emotion and experience. it's a chilling presentation Of the human experience, highlighting everything bad that can and will happen, but ending with a message of HOPE. and it's absolutely breathtaking.

Also i wrote a whole essay about the themes and meaning of the entire album (with help from a friend) so. if you wanna see that.

[mhaccunoval]

beloveddddd [gently cups your face in my hands] tell me about CIFL <3

HI BELOVED <333

your ticket of admission is a kiss on the forehead <3 as i try to remember what developments have been made since i last talked about it on here...

mmm!!! one that's been haunting me lately (i probably won't actually get around to writing it so i'll share it here): i've been thinking about. well it's an intersection of inspiration from mawce by everybody's worried about owen and a troubled mind by noah kahan but. 22/23 year old maggie (pre-transition donny) going to eli (pre-transition ellie)'s college town— based on the a troubled mind lyrics 'i took a bus out to the city where you live / eaves dropped on strangers' conversations with their kids / in hopes that maybe they'd say something relevant / to ease my worried head'— while in a Weird Headspace (even a manic episode, but more on That later). doesn't get a whole hell of a lot out of it, other than more of The Weird Headspace, especially if (he) sees someone who looks vaguely like eli and/or gets spooked by any deep water around (another point to be elaborated). while somewhat Dissociated in the headspace, makes (his) way down to boston, then to new york, has a mini break in a new york hotel room including shaving (his) head. DOES, then, get home safely and shows up at the hurleys' door— the specificity of new york being important because the shaving of the head leads to (his) hat era and the hat (he) got first says NY on it. marian, god bless her, is a bit shocked at first but. she loves (him) like her own so she fixes the rough/uneven patches of hair, makes sure (he's) well-fed/comfortable, defends (him) when Joseph gets a bit prickly about the whole situation (I HAD ACTUAL DIALOGUE BUT I FORGOR; anyway, i'll elaborate on the prickle AS WELL). lets M— who does want to temporarily go by M since part of the break is gender shit— vent where (he) needs to. and. the part i'm gnawing on the most is, in the morning M's like 'hi annie...' and marian's like 'hi peach :)' because!!! dat baby's a fuzzy little peach right now!!! and. and. joseph, coming to made Some acceptance with the situation, puts a ballcap of his on M's head, probably a chicago cubs cap or something...

ELABORATION 1.) usage of 'manic episode' as i always do, i use the phrasing with careful consideration just because. i know it's not verbage to just throw around. and i use it apprehensively here just because i STILL have not determined whether donny is more bipolar or BPD, but i AM leaning BPD more so. probably in part because of pieces of him that are so very me. but i am also NOT ruling out the possibility just because in some scenes in my head, i can see things that could be a manic or could be a depressive episode. POINT BEING I'M STILL DOING MY RESEARCH AND I'M DOING MY RESEARCH AT ALL, I SWEAR.

ELABORATION 2.) fear of deep water something i really need to do is note all the music inspired lore, particularly the noah kahan inspired stuff. ANYHOW. noah's song fear of water inspired the lore that donny's scared of deep dark water, like any dark parts of lake michigan and for sure the ocean. the other side of the coin (because of course it's a coin) being that ellie was a swimmer in middle school / high school after getting over her own fear of water (inspired by 'you used to be scared of the water / you're safe by the side of your father' from glue myself shut). –– E2a.) naturally, there's a scene in my head related to all of this. in The Awkward Period after ellie moves back— another point for elaboration— what really ends the tension, besides hashing it out, is ellie making him face that fear of the water. not quite fear immersion with, like, going into the depths of the ocean, but taking a dunk in the lake, even against donny's better judgment. and grumbling about it just because it doesn't FULLY reduce the anxiety (just staves it) but he also can't fully complain because if following her word means he's regained some of ellie's trust and bond, then by god he'll do it

ELABORATION 3.) joseph prickliness it prickles me to forget the dialogue i had BUT the main subtext behind it is. prior to donny's transition, he's seen like a daughter to both of the hurley parents, so in some part joseph's always prickly about that, not because he doesn't Want a daughter but because he doesn't know how to have one (not that he knows much about having a son or a kid in general, between him & annie having ellie young-er AND his personality). and it's something he admits to ellie after She's transitioned, saying that he Still doesn't know how to have a daughter. BUT at least he's made an effort in both cases and continues to make an effort for his Blood daughter

ELABORATION 4.) The Awkward Period the awkward period is ALSO music inspired but it's more a conglomerate than anything. like the major components are two song inspired scenes i'll explain in a second but. the general notion with The Awkward Period is that it's a span of a couple months after ellie gets back where things are, well, Awkward. she's trying to handle her grief and readjust to being back home (after four years in vermont, four years in philadelphia) with whatever weird grudge she doesn't understand being held by donny as a cherry on top. and donny's still sifting through said grudge, still compartmentalizing his anger. so it's a lot of tension filled stares and cutting words for a minute –– E4a.) the major component is the Funeral stuff inspired by orange juice... which is particularly the first/last verse with the placing of the setting as a party. in my head it's the wake, everyone choosing to drown their sorrows are drinking, cue joseph & ellie in the kitchen, with donny walking in; the tension is thick as donny and ellie look at each other, and ellie, out of sheer politeness, wants to suggest that there's stuff to mix a drink with. only for joseph to interject that there's orange juice in the fridge for non-alcoholic drinking, which confuses ellie slightly but only because she doesn't know that donny's the lyric of 'and i haven't drank in six months / on the dot'. which does irk donny a bit more in stewing since that means his sobriety is yet Another piece of information that's been withheld from her / that she doesn't know and therefore another piece of him that she hasn't known –– E4b.) the other major component is the hashing out scene. which also has some orange juice inspiration but is mainly homesick (and even a hint of new perspective)... so Given homesick, it's set like two months after the funeral, donny coming over to the hurley (now just joseph's) residence to Try to make some amends, at least lure ellie out to talk some, in the VERY least go on a walk. tries to talk a bit, though superficially, about things she's missed while away, but that sours quickly. sours quickly because it easily falters into orange juice's talking of waiting so long for a homecoming that there wasn't a thought to ask where they had gone (but now asking Why they had gone). and more importantly into the fact of '[doesn't ellie] find it strange that [she] just went ahead and carried on? ... the last time [donny] drank [he] was face down passed out there in [her parents'] yard / are [they] all just crows to [her] now? / are [they] all just pulling [her] down?' WHICH. is where it turns into a hashing out because ellie bites back with the fact that her heart and her soul, more importantly her life, have changed— even the city had changed, but Somehow donny had not. and all of this continues the awkwardness and tension since now they've rubbed salt into each other's wounds, as much as they needed to hear what the other had to say (as general fact And for communication's sake)

because of being on my orange juice insanity, i'm thinking about 'you didn't put those bones in the ground' in relation to how it's worked into the story. and i forgot about 'now i'm third in the line-up to your lord and your savior'... BUT I'VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH IN ONE SITTING AS IS (and i haven't even touched other parts of the stick season album, like northern attitude and all my love, or anything else noah-turned-inspiration)... but do tell me if you want more insanity <3 i am willing and able to offer <3

[nostalgiaplant]

Tag nine people you want to catch up with/get to know better

Thanks for tagging me @in-the-mists !

Last Song: Nunemaker's Parable by Everybody's Worried About Owen, specifically the lyrics "now I'm broken fundamentally and NOBODY GETS WHY" and then it goes into this shred little riff. anyways. 10/10.

Last Film: Oppenheimer! Saw it at a Dolby on film with my bff

Currently Reading (or last read): "Girls Can Kiss Now" by Jill Gutowitz, a very fun memorial/book of essays on queerness and being a lesbian and growing up and pop culture and how HOT Lindsay Lohan is.

Currently Watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, OFMD, and Good Omens Season 2

Current Obsession: It's still Check Please, let's not kid ourselves ;)

(no-pressure!!) tagging @montrealmadison; @derpybearr; @cherryflavorh8tr; @taco-belle-of-the-ball; @succulent; @phoxxes; @chaoskiro

[bgtea]

EOoS playlist? I guess

So I'm not going to lie, half of the Entirely Out of Spite playlist I have brewing is half vibes and half  gut wrenching lyrics but behold like Easier by The Crane Wives I cannot for the life of me pick a specific line bc the Whole Damn Thing is just. such a mood for Poor Ajax in this beautiful mess he's in (The only peace I have ever known Is the peace I made with you I won't move, but I can't stay here So what the hell am I supposed to do?) Good to You By Marianas Trench "Just got caught between Someone I just invented Who I really am and who I've become" Hello yes Identity shenanigans anyone? Put You Through Me by Arrows in Action "Don't start fallin', I'm sorry If I'm not here in the morning Give me all of you just for a piece of me" Who's in Control by Set it Off I was halfway into the midst of what I lovingly refer to as the Autopilot Incident b4 I had to go to work and this just. Hit like a truck, honestly the song that started it all "Tell me who's in control now My life is yours to hold Open up my box and pull the string Am I just a musical machine for ransom? Living in fear, living afraid Hysterical every day" Skeleton by Set it Off so much of this is so reminiscent of AR and Ajax's situation "Come and breathe the air into my lungs I just wanna be your skeleton Fix my head, stitch my soul Find out where it all went wrong" Poor darling AR honestly "A blinding pain behind my eyes Is covering up the truth Inside my brain's a parasite It's telling me what to do" System obvi "Pulling on chains, wanna break what I can't change All that rage put away in my ribcage Comes out in stages, how could I stage this?" the Foul Legacy fight  bc ouch "Making such a mess, it's getting permanently Painted in my head, and there's no going back So love me like I'm dead (hey), until there's nothing left" :) In An Emergency Such As The End Of The World by Chase Petra So much of this song slots into Ajax trying to find his footing but also the title line smacks of the Evacuation scenes bc Osial's escape really would've seemed like the end of the world and then of course "Just give it a little time, you've got your whole entire life Just give it a little time, unless the world implodes tonight" The Arrest Fuyunohanashi (translation by Madds Buckley) Admittedly a Lot of winter symbolism but like. Heavy Grieving Zhongli Vibes the entire chorus Hits Really Hard but "I live with my mistakes that cost me you Hey, so won’t you tell me what to say? You won’t come back to me, when I cry out your name" Nunemakers Parable by Everybody's Worried About Owen 90% vibes but these particular lines resonated "He said: One home burned down, one fell apart One met a flood, and one was nothing from the start Weapons build against me, well they all seem to fail But weapons built against my home They always will prevail"