#spear vs spaceship

[oldschoolfrp]

What is today, alien spacehips? I'm going back to bed. (Kevin Shaughnessy, The Space Gamer 21, Metagaming, Jan-Feb 1979)

[carulenes]

I have so many scattered thoughts re: Blade, Jingliu, and Dan Heng and the entirety of the HCQ after Clouds Leave No Trace

This is gonna probably be long as hell since I haven’t stopped thinking abt it for two days straight and will contain spoilers for the new HCQ quest in 1.4 as well as references to other leaks, this is mostly just a jumble of a bunch of theories and ramblings to get my thoughts out, some of which I already had and others that started to jump out during the quest. obv other ppl may have come up with similar conclusions and i obv might not be right myself but based on the narrative presented to us up until now, these are what I feel make the most sense. TLDR at the end.

Dan Heng vs “running away”

I find it fascinating, and frankly disingenuous, that that both Jingliu and Blade consistently frame DH’s explanations of no longer being Dan Feng and only containing fragments of his memories as "trying to run from his past". I’ve also seen some in the fandom claim that DH’s position on the matter shouldn’t be trusted as he’s an “unreliable narrator”, which could be true, but it’s a stance I disagree with as it goes against the structure of DH’s narrative as it’s been set up since the beginning of the game.

From day one until the present, Dan Heng is shown to be fully willing to atone for the sins of his past:

The moment he was allowed to move freely aboard the Luofu after having quietly accepted exile for crimes he shouldn’t have had to pay for, he decided of his own volition to seek out the current high elder and make amends with both the Xianzhou and his past in general, even when doing so made him a target for even more suffering:

Narratively speaking, he never once backs away from the punishment considered owed to Dan Feng's actions.

Dan Heng, the result of a forced rebirth process that was then manipulated to leave him with combat prowess and broken memories he neither wanted or should have possessed to begin with, was escorted away from the only homeland he knew, after being held in prison for crimes he legally should not have been judged by from the moment of his birth, with only the few possessions his previous incarnation had possessed, forced to jump from spaceship to spaceship without even recognizing the destination. The only reason he ever ran at all is due to the ages spent fighting for his life against an enemy he didn't recognize and never truly recognized him, one that refused to die no matter how many times they fought. One who caused unmatched destruction in his hunt for Dan Heng, fully willing to destroy anyone and anything in the way of his goal— a shadow of his past:

This is why personally (emphasis on personally) I believe that the longing in question from the leak regarding Dan Heng polishing his spear is in reference to the Luofu, as to me, it makes sense that he would long for and think of the homeland he never got to witness thoroughly with his own eyes and could only experience in books while caring for the weapon he uses to keep himself and others safe from the force of destruction that trails him:

In fact, it isn't until after Dan Heng joins the Astral Express that he begins to fight back against the assertion that he must eternally suffer for the past; this is because this is when he finally has something other than himself to protect. We are directly shown this in his animated short, when the memory of the other members of the Express crew serve as the motivation to spur Dan Heng out of the internal conflict he was drowning in, and also as his prime reason for going to meet with the others in the HCQ aboard the Luofu:

This is likely possible largely due both to the fact that Vidyadhara cannot succumb to mara, as well as the fact that he doesn't have the same specific memories as the others, and so he is not shackled to the same chains that now bind Blade and Jingliu.

———

Blade and Jingliu

In Blade’s youth, Jingliu describes him as someone who was “defiant” in a way she claimed not to like. I find this fascinating given that the two are so incredibly similar at present, which I feel is due in part to Blade’s unwavering respect for her even after the pain she caused him, both because of who she is as the former Sword Champion and the amount of Abundance abominations she alone had been able to slay, as well as the pain she inflicted giving him new purpose, a choice to give him a “second chance” despite at one point having wished to leave him to his misery as a fate worse than death, as described in her character story.

Both Blade and Jingliu experienced great suffering in their childhoods

Blade's swordsmanship ability comes directly from Jingliu’s tutelage

His personal oath comes directly from Jingliu, as she forced it into his psyche over and over through death and rebirth in order to force him to remember:

They both took on deals through which they are able to have access to suppression for their mara:

And both are fighting towards goals that are implied to, at least currently, be impossible (following who I believe to be extremely suspicious individuals):

Also, both are equally stubborn, seen both through their refusal to take no as an answer to Dan Heng's wishes to no longer associate with them and through their refusal to listen to anything that may trigger or directly refute their perceptions of reality:

But most importantly:

Blade and Jingliu both became mara-struck very quickly after Baiheng’s death.

It's repeatedly mentioned that mara is linked to to the artificially stretched lifespans of Xianzhou natives, but also that a fundamental aspect of the affliction is tied to the accumulation of painful memories. Given that vast scope of the destruction that occurred during this bane, and the extreme closeness both Jingliu and Blade had to the deceased and beloved Baiheng (in addition to the trauma of being transmuted into another species entirely, in Blade's case), it's no surprise that both of them are affected so deeply. Additionally, a common treatment for mara is avoiding accessing painful memories or suppressing/removing them entirely.

As Blade himself states that the effects of mara affliction are unique to the individual, I can't make a sweeping judgement of the symptoms all the mara-struck; the specific manifestations of Jingliu and Blade's afflictions, however, can be related to the concept of complicated grief:

We see these symptoms heavily within Jingliu, who literally wears a blindfold to avoid seeing anything that can trigger painful memories, has a voiceline describing how she can't remember many details of the time she and Baiheng spent together, speaks how she's plagued with nightmares about Baiheng, and she refuses to not only prohibit herself from forgetting the pain of what happened to her that day, but also the remaining members of the HCQ.

Similar observations can be made for Blade; he notably speaks very little and withdraws from most social situations, not wanting to take part in “annoying conversations.” His particular form of mara affliction is, by his own admission, unusual and devoid of any real emotion. The few moments of reprieve are spent either thinking too much or not thinking of anything at all. When his mara strikes, though, he shuts down, going completely numb and lashing out at whatever's in his way- not unlike certain displays of trauma responses in real life. He asks directly, “Why does someone like her have to be buried, burned to ash, and eventually forgotten...? Why!?” And given Yingxing being quoted saying directly during this quest that he doesn't wish for an overly long life, and Blade's intense suicidal ideations in the present, it's not a far reach to suggest that he also wishes that he died with her or in her stead.

And both are unable to find purpose in a life without her:

Blade and Jingliu both accuse Dan Heng of being unwilling to accept the past, but both of them are quite literally and physically unable to do so themselves— Dan Heng was even the only one to have spent extended time in the Shackling Prison, even though he should not have had to due to his rebirth, while both Blade and Jingliu were both wanted criminals who managed to escape. They both walk carrying the pain of the past through the present because they feel empty without it. And, unlike Dan Heng, neither one of them have a future that they feel can look forward to.

On that note, Jing Yuan, the only member of the HCQ who is capable of succumbing to mara and yet hasn't, is also the only member to directly acknowledge Dan Heng's autonomy and existence. This extends to Dan Feng as well, as both Blade and Jingliu most often refer to both Dan Heng and Dan Feng interchangeably with the title of Imbibitor Lunae, rather than their names.

The only ones to continue to deny Dan Heng's existence and rebirth are those who are unable to leave the past behind, such as the mirage echoes forever tied to Scalegorge Waterscape, as well as Blade and Jingliu, forever tied to their own suffering.

[Side note: This is exactly why I believe HYV decided to have 1.3 end with an entire questline based around the showing the process of accepting death and healthy grieving: to act as a direct juxtaposition to Blade and Jingliu, who both are unable to engage in the process themselves.] ————

Yingxing and Dan Feng/Blade and Dan Heng

Yingxing the Furnace Master and High Elder Dan Feng were very close. They were good friends, yes, but they were also bad for each other, according to Kafka:

Which would be easy enough on its to write off as her own interpretation of a story she’s heard but doesn’t know enough to understand. But Jingliu, the living member of the HCQ most affected by their actions, shows agreement with her assessment, pointing out that she’d found it strange “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud.”

These specific traits are mentioned and attributed to them multiple times— the arrogant craftsman and the proud high elder. The reason for this is also stated by Kafka: “Together, they did something bad— something terrible. It led to horrific consequences.”

The emphasis that they did it together, almost directly after stating that the pair were bad for one another (which was a conscious choice to have her say, as her statements of their shared mistake and Blade's memory loss would have sufficed on their own), is important not simply because they both made and adhered to the plan; it’s important because it implies that it was directly because it took the two of them specifically to create the chaos and unrest that took place and not anyone else. This isn’t a condemnation of either of them as individuals, but Jingliu herself points out that even the smartest people can make extremely ill-advised decisions in the heat of the moment.

If Yingxing hadn’t arrogantly believed himself alone capable of handling and utilizing the remains of the very Emanator it took a plethora of combatants including the entire HCQ to take down (likely leading to the loss in the usability of his hands as a result):

If Dan Feng hadn’t proudly believed his “salvation” more righteous than the autonomy of those mortals he sought to save, "letting" them continue living as though the right to withhold the honor of dying for a cause they believed in was his alone, while also seeming to blindly believe himself incapable of being deceived or misunderstanding something:

None of the resulting fallout would have happened.

Only one with powers like those of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara could have attempted what Dan Feng did, and only an outworlder who has experienced the allure of immortality and experienced the fear of not having enough time would be willing to assist, given the Xianzhou’s stance on acts regarding immortality.

Furnace Master and High Elder, filled with blind confidence in themselves, blind confidence in each other, enabling each other (Yingxing calling out to Dan Feng and implying that they had to be the ones to make a choice, Dan Feng being moved by his human heart’s words and his own exhaustion with watching the deaths of those around him) to make a dangerous choice at a critical moment when their close companion is in mortal peril (more accurately already dead but they couldn’t accept that), and make the decision to ignore the autonomy of everyone involved. They had no contingency plan because they were sure that, with each other, that it would work. Because of this, they both share the blame, their noble intentions not enough to outweigh their unforgivable sin.

Jing Yuan is noted to have “always understood the price better than any of [the HCQ], yet he never spoke up, never did anything”, but anyone who has had the experience of trying to tell an arrogant or prideful person that they’re wrong or making a mistake knows that that’s an uphill battle on its own. Add in that it would be two against one (one of whom he already canonically bickered with constantly throughout their companionship), asking two of the most stubborn people he knew to give up on their desire to save the beloved (for Yingxing, Baiheng; for Dan Feng, his people), the two that were closer to each other than he was with either of them (not to imply that the HCQ weren’t all very close to each other because they definitely were but in obv differing ways) right in the middle of a high stress situation where there’s no time for arguing, and what remains is Jing Yuan with no options but to watch as disaster unfolded before him and everyone else, knowing that their minds were already made up.

Yingxing never wanted to be immortal or to see Baiheng suffering, but his own hubris helped lead to both.

Dan Feng never wanted to endure the sight of meaningless death, and yet directly caused it due to his pride, believing he had the right to play god and interfere with the natural process of death, or to consider that he may be wrong.

They were good friends who were bad for each other, and good people who made an exceedingly bad decision.

In the present, it’s been over 700 years since the last meeting of the High-Cloud Quintet, meaning Yingxing and Dan Feng have been essentially dead for roughly 7x the length of the HCQ’s entire existence. Their new identities, Blade and Dan Heng are clearly meant to parallel each other, but as opposing forces going in different directions, given Blade’s unwavering desire to die, and Dan Heng’s unwavering desire to live and to protect those he cares for. Both were put through immense suffering that, in the same vein, provided the means of “freedom” for them— Blade, through the sword; Dan Heng, through banishment. And both have found new colleagues to consider allies, though even the two groups are opposed to one another.

At this point in time, they’re enemies in all respects, and the chances of any reconciliation between them in my opinion is VERY slim for multiple reasons not limited to how much time has already passed at this point:

1) Dan Heng does not trust Blade at all and actively considers him one of the biggest threats to both his own and his companions’ safety, with good reason. The only way this could feasibly change is if Blade were to stop hunting him, which likely would not happen because

2) Blade is wholly devoted to Elio’s predictions for him, which Dan Heng’s existence would be paradoxical to. One of Blade’s wishes is to kill Imbibitor Lunae specifically in revenge, and he doesn’t (or can't) accept Dan Heng’s existence; if what Dan Heng claims about his identity is true, then that could only mean the future Elio promised must be false, which would strip him of the only purpose he has left in this world, leaving him as an empty, undying husk. This matter is also complicated by the fact that

3) There is still no cure for the mara that afflicts Blade, which would be the only avenue through which Blade could even begin to consider accepting Dan Heng and potentially reconciling. Both he and Jingliu were able to discover methods of having it suppressed, but both were temporary fixes: Jingliu notes that her time is beginning to run out, and Kafka had to use alternate means to reduce the potency of the mara within Blade after it violently flared up after merely being on the Xianzhou, which is likely the only reason the meeting between the HCQ could even take place with his attendance. On top of this, there’s also the fact that

4) Blade’s feelings for Dan Feng are likely very complex as well. Deep down, there’s clearly still some fondness there in the way Blade looks back on the time spent with Dan Feng, but he’s also one of the people he deeply resents and wants to see dead, which I believe could be due to his belief that it’s Dan Feng’s fault that Baiheng died. There is a choice-dependent voiceline from Baiheng deep within Dan Heng's memories that calls out to him to save them from the starskiff, but we know that it crashed. He tried to invoke the Transmutation Arcaneum, but it failed, instead turning Baiheng into a half-dragon monstrosity whose wails of pain echoed all around them. And then, though he wasn’t the one to deal the final blow, he might as well have by giving the location of the dragon’s weak spot to Jingliu. To top everything off, everything ended with Blade within an immortal body, one that leaves him in constant pain, particularly during the healing process after “death”.

From his perspective, it’s easy to see just why Blade could place the blame of Baiheng’s burial and the near destruction of the Luofu solely on Dan Feng, accusing Dan Feng alone of being the one to stubbornly adhere to the plan; it’s also easy to point out Blade’s hypocrisy given his role as Dan Feng’s accomplice. There are multiple potential reasons for this in my opinion: his brain, afflicted by both mara and prior memory loss (though he never forgets Dan Feng’s eyes or “how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness”); his arrogance, leading him to absolve himself of any guilt or wrongdoing because he believes himself incapable of failing; the current youth-like quality of his mind, reduced to immaturely (by which I purely mean the dictionary definition of having/showing emotional development of someone younger) craving nothing but revenge while simultaneously absolving responsibility by saying “He did it! Not me!”. Also, considering Jingliu’s dialogue to Dan Feng where she says to him “If your death can return everything to how it was, I would do it,” and the many ways Blade already emulates Jingliu, it isn’t too difficult to consider that he may have taken that duty on himself out of grief and longing.

Along with these reasons, the narrative emphasizes that even almost a millennium after Yingxing and Dan Feng’s deaths, destruction follows in their wake whenever their new lives cross paths. Dan Heng learned this quickly, hence his fervent desire to keep distance and his relative uncertainty of anywhere that could possibly be safe for him, though he also learned rather quickly that this was futile. Blade was always able to find him, entire spaceships destroyed in his unshakable desire to kill him. On the Xianzhou, not only was Dan Heng dragged into a fight with Blade, but so too was Yanqing. This cycle of destruction is implied to have been so constant for Dan Heng that it’s likely the entire reason he never feels safe or feels unable to confide in anyone so as to not risk putting them in danger.

----

The Destruction Trio

Imbibitor Lunae, Blade, and Jingliu all being on the path of destruction is no coincidence given their histories. The three “sinners” all shared a key trait: being able to cope with death and painful losses. Both Yingxing and Dan Feng viewed her as arrogant and proud, respectfully, which was another commonality between them. This leads all three of them to not only become the orchestrators of their own self-destruction, but the destruction of those around them as well: Dan Feng witnessing countless deaths and being forced to be reborn as another; Yingxing’s loss of his gift and creative abilities as well as the transformation into the immortal Blade who only sees himself as a weapon; Jingliu’s abandonment of her sacred oath and everyone she killed during her time under the influence of the mara poisoning her mind. Only Dan Heng walks a different path, as he is the only one to have directly stated that he accepts the past that happened but refuses to let it stain his bright future.

The three of them are also intrinsically linked in their pain. Dan Feng and Yingxing's mistake led directly to Jingliu's suffering; Jingliu's treatment of Blade led to his becoming a living weapon and catching the eye of the Stellaron Hunters, and also to him being able to inflict similar suffering to Dan Heng by hunting him constantly. Blade and Jingliu both are of the mind that this is inevitable and inescapable, but only Dan Heng is in a position to be able and willing to question whether he really does have to continue feeling that pain.

While it's still very early on in HSR's lifespan making it difficult to make any real concrete theories, for now I predict that Jingliu will die in her attempt to kill the Abundance, and I also believe her to be aware of this deep down, as she likely sees this as a way for her to atone and find her peace. It also makes most sense for Blade to die at some point as well, considering his parallels to Jingliu, his current character and the fact that while Yingxing used to fear not having enough time in life when he was young, he came to accept his mortality in his elder years after the full life he lived with the HCQ; it could even possibly be in defense of Dan Heng, which could provide a full-circle end to their cycle and their story, a form of closure that no other broken pair has seemed to get so far. Their respective character stories, while directly representing their current struggles, can also be viewed as allusions to their fates as well, with Blade's referring to his death and Dan Heng's highlighting him seeing the dawn of a new day. I also think it could be feasible for the discovery of a method to remove Blade's mara and for him to grow content with the Blade of today, even with powers he doesn't want, similar to Dan Heng accepting that Imbibitor Lunae's powers will always be a part of him; a "miraculous cure" sort of ending could be very clunky if not handled well in my opinion, though.

----

The Reunion

Though it's phrased in a metaphorical way, I feel pretty sure that not only did we just see the reunion alluded to by the PoWC bracer, but also that this is another remnant of Jingliu’s influence that some part of Blade’s subconscious must have clung to:

Note the usage of “should”, a term with many meanings but the most applicable being “expressing a conjecture or hope,” rather than something like “will”, which would indicate future tense or an inevitable event.

Jingliu’s splash art alone shows her pouring out a cup of alcohol

In Jingliu’s character story, Baiheng is said to have brought Jingliu “divine nectar from the other side of the universe”

At the beginning of the companion quest, in the Seat of Divine Foresight, she mentions wanting to have a glass of wine and reminisce with old friends

She is the one to bring the jade flask that Blade handcrafted himself for her when she releases the starskiff in her memory

When the remaining quartet reach Scalegorge Waterscape, she directly mentions that she never believed the 4 of them, with their many grudges and all friendship lost, would gather again and specifically quantifies the hundreds of years that have passed

She does this twice more, mentioning the seven centuries and how they all did this 700 hundred years ago

She is the one to point out that, in the past, they all promised to meet together again for a drink no matter what happened

She says that she believed “those joyful days would flow indefinitely before us” which also fits within the imagery of drinking

There are multiple visual nods to drinking in her flashbacks as well: there’s the quintet having a toast, as well as Jingliu pouring out the alcohol once again while Yingxing sips off to the side, which symbolically is a good representation of the way she poured so much of herself into Blade (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that so much of him resembles her now, down to the bow on the back of his clothes (and even their similar splash arts). There’s also a glimpse of Yingxing and Jing Yuan drinking together. Because both of them were children when they each met Jingliu for the first time, it makes sense that Jingliu and the others were likely the ones to teach the pair to drink once they each came of age.

Jingliu mentions that they will likely never all meet again, and bids farewell to the HCQ.

Finally, at the very end of the quest, she directly says:

Blade mentions alcohol only once, when he says, "The miraculous thing is that in my brief moment of death... all the pain went away... like when we drank to drown our sorrows." In Jingliu's case, we know that she was affected in much the same way as Blade, becoming more confident and boastful under the effects of drinking, mentioning that the nightmares and pain from her childhood memories were no longer so terrifying. For both of them, alcohol is another form of suppression of pain, not unlike substance abuse seen in real life, which grieving individuals are at higher risk of falling victim to.

While it’s possible this wasn’t the reunion that alluded to and they could technically all reunite once more in the future, the sheer number of references to the contents of the backstory mentioned in the bracer lead me to believe that this isn’t the case, as well as Jingliu stating herself that this would likely be their final meeting before she pays her own ultimate price. Not to mention the fact that very specific circumstances had to be in play for Jingliu/Luocha, the Stellaron Hunters, and the Astral Express to all end up on Jing Yuan’s doorstep at the same time. Specificity like that is rarely duplicated, particularly in HSR’s canon, which features many characters with formerly close bonds being separated for whatever reason with no closure to their relationship. The four of them even getting one reunion was a blessing in itself, even though none of them felt particularly happy about it afterwards.

TLDR: Dan Heng is accused of running from his past, but he is the only one of the three "sinners" capable and willing to do so; Jingliu and Blade are heavy parallels of each other and share the same pains of complicated grief; Yingxing and Dan Feng together (and Blade and Dan Heng by association) bring out the worst in each other and represent a cycle of destruction that neither of them are currently able to escape from; the reunion mentioned by the bracer was likely Jingliu's idea that Blade also began to internalize and we likely just watched it occur; Dan Feng, Blade, and Jingliu were all incapable of handling death and loss and this inability is what lead to the three of them causing so much pain and destruction for themselves, each other, and everyone around them.

[darksaiyangoku]

RWBY Winter Tales

May the Power Protect You

Ozma struggled to his feet as he crawled through the mud.

Salem: It's over, Ozma. You and your precious warriors have failed. Why don't you just accept your defeat and stop prolonging your suffering?

Ozma continued crawling, desperate to get away from Salem. She looked over him and shook her head. His self-righteous streak was admirable, yet infuriating. She took a few steps and grabbed her spear, stamping onto him. Raising it high, she plunged it sharply into his back. A visceral scream escaped his mouth. Blood seeped out from his back and deep into the mud, his breathing became weaker and his vision was fading. With the little strength he had, he clasped his hands together and uttered a spell.

Ozma: I call upon you... *coughs violently* the power of the Ancients... *coughs violently* guide my hand so that I may find someone worthy to carry on the legacy of the Rangers... go with my blessing and may the Power protect you....

Faint lights of the colours red, white, black and yellow appeared from his hands and scattered up into the sky. With one last smile, Ozma succumbed to his wounds and died.

[Remnant 207 M.A.]

Ruby walked beside Blake as they were returning home from shopping. Throughout the journey, Ruby was holding onto Blake's arm to stabilise herself on the slippery, icy pavement.

Blake: Ruby, you should've put on your new boots.

Ruby: I didn't want the ice to wreck them.

Blake: You sure you didn't want an excuse to grab onto my arm.

Ruby: Wha-? No! I- *mad blushing*

Blake: *small chuckle* Relax, I'm just teasing you.

Ruby: Hmmmmph! J-Just keep walking!

Blake and Ruby made it to the Rose-Xiao Long house and gave each other short hugs before they were about to go their separate ways.

Ruby: B-Blake, wait! Um... do you- uh. *shuffles foot*

Blake: Yes, Ruby?

Ruby: D-Do you, uh... *sighs* never mind, I'll see you tomorrow.

Ruby opened the door and was greeted by the grinning faces of her parents, Taiyang and Summer, and half-sister, Yang.

Yang: So??? Give me the good news!

Ruby: ...I didn't ask her out.

Tai: Aww, sweetie. Come here. *hugs Ruby*

Ruby: I just froze up again... Blake will never go for me.

Yang: Hey don't say that. Listen, Ruby, you're a great girl. You're cute, smart, funny and no one has as much enthusiasm for ancient Remnant weapons as much as you do. Blake's bound to get a kick out of that as a history geek herself.

Ruby: *giggles*

Yang: Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone gets nervous.

Tai: Yang's right, sweetheart. Lord knows how much of a wreck I was before I asked out your mom.

Summer: Oh he's not kidding, it's quite the tale. Come on over, the Shepherd's pie is getting cold.

Ruby: Thanks everyone. You really know how to help out.

They sat together for a warm, delicious meal. With one bite, Ruby hummed as she felt the troubles of her day melt away. After they had finished, they all gathered around the TV to watch the latest news. Several UFOs had been sighted all across Remnant.

Ruby: You really think aliens are out there?

Yang: *shrugs* Who knows? Though if they did exist, I'll challenge them to race with my trusty Flamethrower. Spaceship vs motorcycle!

Ruby: *rolls eyes* Of course you would.

Ruby decided to leave the living room for a while in order to put away the shopping she had bought. As she walked upstairs, she saw a faint, glowing red light from the corner of her bedroom door. She felt a lump in her throat and her heartbeat started racing. Slowly, Ruby crept forward and reached out her hand against the door. A gentle push followed and she dropped the bags. Sitting on her bed was a bright red, watch-like device, with a rose emblem at the center.

Ruby: ...What the hell? *slowly takes the device*

Device: *humming sound* Now accessing Morphing Grid. Match in progress. *whirring* Match complete. Subject is matched with The Power of Roses. Red Ranger confirmed.

[random-iz-stuff]

Invader Zim Deathmatch:

ROUND 4, FIGHT 1:

TALLEST MIYUKI VS SIZZ-LORR!

The rules are as follows:

1. We’re assuming that both participants actively want and are willing to kill each other unless actively specified otherwise (for example: Chammy Wamboo).

2. The fight must be one on one so no outside help is allowed, but prep time is allowed.

3. The rule for prep time is that if one contestant gets prep time, the other contestant gets an equal amount of prep time as well.

[Masterpost]

Information about both contestants (who they are, powers and abilities, etc) can be found under the cut.

Contestant Stats:

Tallest Miyuki:

“Why did we never get to see you?”

Appearances:

Miyuki only appears in the unfinished episode “The Trial”

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

Massive Height (as the Tallest, Miyuki is the tallest Irken alive. This is mentioned as a power because Irkens can lift over three times their body weight and since Miyuki is way bigger and therefore heavier than most other Irkens, she can lift WAY more as well)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Hovering: (as a Tallest, Miyuki has access to special equipment that lets her hover above the ground. This improves her movement speed and general maneuverability, but doesn’t grant her the ability to truly fly)

Fun Fact:

Despite being constantly depicted as blue by fans, no coloured pictures of Miyuki or anything confirming her colour actually exist.

Sizz-Lorr:

“Frylord of Foodcourtia”

Appearances:

Sizz-Lorr appears in the episode “The Frycook What Came From All That Space” and makes a cameo appearance in “Dookie Loop Horror”

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

Large Size (Irkens can lift over three times their body weight. Sizz-Lorr is way bigger and therefore heavier than most other Irkens, so he can lift WAY more as well)

Extreme agility (Sizz-Lorr is extremely agile, leading from moving cab to moving cab in his race to catch Zim)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Jet-PAK (Sizz-Lorr’s PAK contains a unique jetpack function that is powerful enough to fully fly in the atmosphere of a planet)

Shock Spear (Sizz-Lorr owns and is seen using a giant spatula with all the same abilities and features as a shock spear, so for all intents and purposes it’s the same thing. Sizz-Lorr’s Shock Spatula is capable of discharging energy to attack things, and is strong enough to cut through the hull of a small spaceship)

Fun Fact:

According to the wiki, Sizz-Lorr’s name is a reference to the Sizzler restaurant chain.

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Group C Round 3

[image ID: the first image is of Bolt, a dark skinned person with short purple hair, large gray earrings, a yellow tunic top, green pants, and brown boots. they're mid-run, holding a spear. the second image is of Vella, a Black girl with natural hair, pulled back from her forehead by a pink headband with 3 pink peacock-feather-like decorations extending from it. she wears a short, layered pink dress with no sleeves and a high collar. the dress in tattered in places. she is barefoot. end ID]

Bolt

They’re so cool! They have tachycardia which means their heart beats twice as fast in this case- so all beats in the game are double time and it’s super hard to play, they’re very cool and I wish they had more lore but they’re a very fun character to play so :)

Vella

Oh my god Vella- she’s one of the most badass characters I know. She kicks a monster’s ass and escapes her fate of being eaten alive, hitches a ride on a bird and steers it, falls from the clouds into a roof without a scratch, awakens a 300 year old god and casually becomes his friend, beats up the monster again this time with a laser gun, nearly punches a guy and ends up inside of a spaceship, and that’s just the first half!! She also figures out the electronics to unlock a room she was trapped in, creates a bomb, drops it, and somehow is able to like telepathically communicate with someone she’s never met in order to pull off the perfect escape, ensuring peace for the entire world. LIKE!!! This girl does it ALL. AND she can bake!! That’s a bonus!! Vella is also really funny and tends to resort straight to like not trusting people or violence and it ends up with her in some really funny scenarios- please play Broken Age it’s such a good game ok bye <3

[astrodances]

What class is the USS Klondike

That is a very good eye-opener of a question actually!

The easy/default answer is that she's a Galaxy-class ship, mainly because I haven't actually considered this question in depth before, but I guess so far that's just what I've assumed since Captain Scrooge is a parallel to Captain Picard and so many other things are TNG/DS9-era parallels for this AU, that it makes sense for the Klondike to be based on the Enterprise-D.

Tbh, that'll probably remain the case, since I don't have any immediate plans to go designing a new class or ship at the moment (though I mean, I am a huge fan of starships and spacecraft in all areas of life, so this could change in the future). And looking through the classes on Memory Alpha, none particularly jump out as a better fit (although that Luna-class is tempting...).

But let's delve a little deeper, shall we, into why the Galaxy-class is a good fit, if not as the sure-fire class then at least as a starting point for my own design.

(more under the cut)

Firstly, it's an exploration-type vessel. A must-have quality for any ship under McDuck's command. (It's gotta be able to take them to the stars.)

Second, it's a big ship. A huge, powerful ship. And besides the fact that I love big spaceships and them having a lot of rooms and all the complements and amenities you could think of (I was the type of kid who loved designing 100-story buildings with rock gyms and decked-out kitchens and super-cool basements with swimming pools and the like, and I've played The Sims all my life, you get the picture), it fits Scrooge. One, he's got the huge family, so they need the room. (And the Klondike is pretty much gonna be Duckburg in Space, so you need the room for all those underpaid employees officers, their families, citizens, sworn enemies, etc.) Second, he's the richest duck in the Federation world, but there's no need for money in said Federation (Scrooge: "The horrors!"), so I think the wealth and power and size of McDuck Manor/McDuck Industries/the Money Bin would translate nicely into a big ship for this AU. (Though back home on Earth, would he still have McDuck Manor from earlier times, if we let his immortality play out? He'd definitely still have Castle McDuck, and that little ol' cabin up in White Agony, where a certain glittering archaeologist likes to hide out between adventures, but I digress...)

(Wait totally unrelated thought but if Goldie is Vash and Magica is Q then that means after this AU's version of "Qpid" Goldie would go off with Magica to explore the galaxy through magical means, and then when Goldie comes back to station DS87 in "Q-Less", she could take over Quark's bar from there, and then the Klondike comes to port later and she and Louie team up for the bar and oh hO HO! IT WORKS!!)

*ahem* Anywho...

The Galaxy-class is a good fit for the Klondike. It's got a lot of room for all those kids running around, a well-placed engine room where the chief engineer can keep his distance from all the crazy family problems when he wants yet still be a part of things and take care of everybody in his own way, a lot of shuttles for adventuring and experimenting, and a lot of gyms and holodecks for (very-much-secret-spy-)training and unwinding (you just know that Scrooge has a holo-program of the Money Bin so he can swim around in it still).

(I just had another thought and that is, who would be the ship's CMO? And my quick answer to that was Ludwig von Drake, and since I can't remember anyone else who would be fitting, it's his sickbay now. And with Gyro as the science officer, there are two options for filling in the rest of the medical staff: 1) make a bunch of Li'l Bulbs to be nurses; 2) make a holographic program of von Drake (which we've basically seen) and have multiple copies of him running around sickbay, specializing in different things (holo-von Drake vs. the EMH doctor GO!) (I guarantee you no one on the Klondike will get hurt if they can help it - Ludwig will tell you all about his multiple degrees, and he'll do it all at once while patching up your leg when you came in for a plasma burn on your arm, and you end up staying longer for him to treat your new headache (which are rare occurrences in the world of Star Trek)); secret option 3) combine options 1 and 2, and add in Manny, who moonlights in sickbay and ends up with the reputation of "best bedside manner" even though one of the Li'l Bulbs has to do most of his handiwork for him.)

Sorry this post is turning into a lot of random AU headcanons and ramblings, but it is what it is. :) Long story short, the answer is Galaxy-class.

But if I were to design my own class? I'd start with the Galaxy and probably muscle her up a bunch in size and amenities. (Oooooh yet another random thought but if it was somehow hurricane-sized (or, y'know, compared to such a size) bc lyrics, and I called it the Hurricane-class! XD) There'd probably be a lot of personal duck universe touches added, with a hint of the Spear of Selene embedded into the hull's design (3 nacelles for the Spear's 3 legs? maybe), and as for a name, the Sunchaser-class did just cross my mind, but the one that's been with me all this post?

Aurum-class. ✨ Setting the gold standard for all of Starfleet. ;)

[amikoroyaiart]

18 and 20 for the ask game?

18. Most badass moment(s) Spoilers from TCW! and SW in general So as much as I hate Palps for what he is doing to our clone boys I had chills when he was fighting with Maul and Savage! For the first time I understood how powerful this dude is Another favourite moment is just Din fighting in general in Mandalorian. But my favs are the Krayt Dragon (I was Cobb in that scene haha) and him vs Gideon (I hope we will see more Din fighting with his beskar spear in the future!) And let’s not forget about Boba’s fight in Mandalorian! I won’t lie, I did not care about Boba before Mando, did not understand why he was so popular but the moment he started fighting in his sexy black skirt?! S-sir that was so hot! Cannot wait for Book of Boba Fett! And let’s just also add Obi Wan fighting in Mandalorian armour because these scenes live rent free in my head (I need to draw him one day in that armour!)

20. Favorite spaceship(s)

I love TIE fighters! 

I also have a soft spot for Finalizer because of all the kylux post TFA fics I’ve read in the past haha

thanks for asking! <3 

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 234

Supreme Kai vs. Majin Buu!   Guess who wins!

Hot damn.  

Oh, good, Gohan’s here to help--

OH SHI--

Here’s the thing about Majin Buu.   He does not fuck around.  Well, I mean, he does, I guess.   He’s constantly dancing a jig or singing to himself, but he has time for that because when he finally fights somebody, he just unloads on them.   It’s all or nothing with this dude.   That’s it for Gohan.   Buu wasn’t even fighting him, he was just getting him out of the way so he could kill the Supreme Kai properly.   

And here’s the thing about the Supreme Kai: He’s no quitter.   The interesting thing about him facing down Majin Buu with no backup is that he’s the one guy in this story who knew what Majin Buu was capable of, who was under no illusions about his chances.    He knew he was doomed the minute Babidi sicced Buu on him, but he still stood and fought, because what else could he do.   And now that Buu’s fired Gohan away on a ki blast, the Supreme Kai sees this as an opportunity.   Yeah, there may be no saving him, but there’s still a chance to save Gohan.    He uses his power to surreptitiously detonate Buu’s ki attack, so instead of carrying Gohan into outer space...

... He just crashes into a forest somewhere.   Yeah, he’s out cold, but at least he’s alive.    Or is he? 

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan is still trying to make sense of today’s events and his thoughts take him back to the moment when Videl flew out of the stadium with the Z-Figthers.   He’s horrified at the thought of her being involved with a boy, but more importantly, he wonders what her connection is to that group, and how she was able to fly like the rest of them.

Satan concludes that humans must naturally possess the ability to fly, or otherwise Videl wouldn’t be able to do it.   That seems a bit specious, but I think Mr. Satan’s logic is that when Goku flies, it’s a trick, but he knows Videl isn’t a trickster, so there must be some legitimate way to fly through the air.    Anxious to test his theory, he opens a window...

...And he changes his mind and steps back inside.    Better to test this out from a safer height, like standing on a chair.   When I was a kid, I heard about dumb children who got hurt trying to fly like Superman, because they saw it on TV.    I never understood that, because usually Superman would jump up into the air from the ground and just keep going.   If you were going to assume you could do it too, why not try to fly that way first, instead of jumping off a roof or something?   This is why Mr. Satan is the World Champion.   

Anyway, he falls flat on his face, just as his fan club walks in on him.   Do they not have locks on any of these doors?  Also, why is Mr. Satan still at the Budokai stadium? 

Back at the spaceship, Babidi looms over the Supreme Kai, and he’s just revelling in his victory.    At long last, he has Majin Buu and now he’ll finally be able to avenge his father.   And ironically, it’s all thanks to the Supreme Kai, who led the Saiyans into this conflict, so that their energy could be used to fuel Buu’s revival.   He plans to kill the Supreme Kai personally...

... but then Shin twitches a little, and that spooks Babidi, so he orders Buu to finish him instead.   Buu’s hungry, so he decides to eat the Supreme Kai.    Fuck.

Oh, then someone impales Buu with a spear?   Huh?

Turns out it’s... Dabura?

How is Dabura still alive?   How does he still have eyes?   Did Dabura regenerate them?   I prefer to believe that’s how it works with him.    I mean, Buu definitely hurt his eyes really badly in the previous episode, just look at the blood.

Nearby, Goten and Trunks finally arrive on the battlefield, but they  don’t see anyone they recognize, except for the Supreme Kai, who they briefly saw at the tournament.    Then they notice the stone statues of Krillin and Piccolo, although they have no idea that they’re actually Krillin and Piccolo.

And Trunks accidentally breaks the Piccolo statue.   Whoops.

As for Dabura, he pleads his case to Babidi, still addressing him as “Babidi-sama.”   Respectfully he submits that Majin Buu is too dangerous to be controlled.    They have to shut him down now, while they still can.  

This is really my favorite part of Dabura’s character arc, where he turns against Babidi, even while remaining firmly under Babidi’s spell.    He’s not angry at Babidi for siding with Buu against him, nor is he switching sides to help the Supreme Kai.    None of this is snapping him out of Babidi’s control, or making him realize that he needs to save his own skin.    No, Dabura is trying to stop Buu in order to save Babidi.

And that’s how messed up Babidi’s obsession has become.    Somehow, he’s convinced himself that Buu is the key to everything he wants to do.   He could seal Buu away right now and he’d still win.   Dabura could snap the Supreme Kai’s neck right here.    He doesn’t need Majin Buu.   Quite the opposite, Majin Buu is a liability to him, because he doesn’t seem to have any hold on the guy, aside from threatening to seal him away.   Babidi hasn’t tried to use his mind control spell on Majin Buu, and I don’t know if that’s because it wouldn’t work, or he thinks he doesn’t need to.    Either way, Buu is the least obedient guy in Babidi’s camp, and he’s the most dangerous.   But Babidi can’t see that.    The irony here is that his own mindslave has to try to save Babidi from himself, and he can’t recognize that Dabura is only looking out for Babidi’s best interest.    Dabura has to look out for Babidi; he has no choice.  

Anyway, a spear isn’t going to hurt Majin Buu.    He just pulls it out and the hole in his body closes up like nothing happened.  I’d like to think this was a magic spear at least.    I can’t believe Dabura chucked an ordinary spear at this guy and thought it would do any good.

Then he looks at Dabura and decides to eat him instead.   Well, I’m sure he still plans to eat the Supreme Kai, but Dabura’s first.

Meanwhile, a snail crawls on Gohan’s face.   

And Vegeta.... you know, it’s kind of goofy how Vegeta was all set to fight Buu in the last episode, but he hasn’t moved an inch throughout this episode.   Sometimes stories are like that...

[hp-sauce]

[Image description: ten gifs, contrasting dramatic heartfelt moments and silly ones:

1. Rose Tyler, passionately asserting “You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away” vs. 2. A vinyl record spins, subtitled “Toxic by Brittany Spears starts playing”

3. Ten monologues “Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person” vs. 4. Ten and Donna turn to face an on-coming threat: “Christmas trees.” “What?” “They kill.”

5. An exhausted Eleven turns dramatically to face the camera. “Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.” vs. 6. A giddy-grinning Eleven is dragged away by Amy, gleefully exclaiming “Dinosaurs. On a spaceship!”

7. Serious Victorian-dressed Twelve: “Human progress isn’t measured by industry, it’s measured by the value you place on a life.” vs. 8. Twelve in an orange space-suit: “The moon’s an egg.”

9. Earnest Thirteen: “We can honour who we’ve been and choose who we want to be next” vs. 10. A speckled frog croaks, subtitled “Friends! Right. Me and a conscious universe masquerading as a frog. BFFs.”]

doctor who has the range

(insp)

[twh-news]

'Thor: Ragnarok' Gets the Lego Set Treatment

Photos courtesy of LEGO

It's Hulk vs. the God of Thunder when these toys clash.

Thor: Ragnarok may be five months away, but it’s never too early to begin thinking brick-building Thor.

Or so Marvel and Lego think.

The companies on Wednesday are unveiling two new sets that are connected to the movie, which opens Nov. 3 and promises a battle between the God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth) and the incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) before averting the destruction of the universe.

The first set is titled Ultimate Battle of Asgard and features Thor, Bruce Banner and Valkyrie taking on the villainous Hela, two Berserkers and a Fenris Wolf, the latter which you get to build yourself. The good guys fly the Commodore spaceship that features an opening minifigure cockpit, two dual stud shooters, opening storage compartment and a minifigure-drop function.

Among the highlights for those with an eye for detail: Thor has a new-for-June-2017 helmet and the Fenris Wolf has glow-in-the-dark eye elements.

All six minifigures are new for June 2017 and the Banner minifig has two faces, one of them being his angry transitional state.

The set won’t be available in the United States until Aug. 1 although the rest of the world will be able to begin building June 1 (what’s up with that?). It will retail for $49.99.

The second set is Thor vs Hulk: Arena Clash that features not only the aforementioned characters but also villains Loki and Grandmaster and a Sakaarian Guard.

The arena features a sliding gate, interchangeable wall sections, opening wall section with secret weapons rack (with spear, axe and sword), opening prison cell, two topple-function pillars with translucent floodlight-style elements, smash-function wall, plus a throne for Grandmaster and seat for Loki, each with knock-over function.

The set will go for $59.99 when it is released in the U.S. in August.

[its-just-like-the-movies]

Date Night!: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Back when the swell fella who would become my boyfriend and I were in one of those strange middle grounds where we were on our way to becoming a couple and very, very aware of it, our first sort-of-date was when Tommy invited me to go see Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice on its opening night. I, of course, accepted, somewhat reluctantly. I can’t remember if I was expecting the film to be good or bad, though I’m sure before then some of its abysmal reviews had been public. I was also nervous about the whole “oh my god this is probably sort of a date isn’t it”, especially since at the time I didn’t know him all that well. This would be the first of many dates at Ze Cinemah, although after this we’d be perfectly, happily aware that they were all dates. Even better, I think, is our immediate discussions after the film is over, and how eager we are to talk about it and discuss what we’ve just seen. We’ve seen plenty of films together, and maybe I’ll talk about other ones we’ve seen someday, but I can already feel a pit in my stomach drop at having to talk about this stinking pile of steamingness. All said, Batman v Superman is one of those truly atrocious films, like The Judge or The Danish Girl, that works like so much manure and makes me start sparking and frothing with how horrible they were. It’s an energizer more than it is a depressive, though it for sure is both, and there is one thing about our date in particular that haunts me every day. It’s not even something the film did, but something I did, or almost did, but could have done more of. Something that perhaps could have changed the screening for the whole theater, or as Anthony Hopkins keeps saying in the trailers for the new Transformers movies “change the tide of human history itself”. I wonder about it every day and every night, as I sleep and as I wake, and especially as a type this story to you, The Void, and now I must share the tale of my screening of Batman vs Superman with you to get it of my chest, to free myself, and to see where the tides of human history itself shall take me. Also: I’m going to be very mean to this film, and am very not interested in hearing about how wrong I am from random eggs as I and many others I know have been on Twitter. I hate it, don’t care if you love it, for fuck’s sake leave me alone.

It didn’t take the two of us long to find a pair of seats, though we immediately moved to the row behind us because our view was partially blocked by the structure of the stairwell. We warned the couple who ended up taking those seats about it, though I can’t remember if they moved too. And the film starts. Zack Snyder has the gall to open the film by reminding us that Batman’s parents died in front of him during a robbery gone wrong. He also seemingly cannot hire Jeffrey Dean Morgan to do much beyond die in the openings of his films, though I remember he had more to do in Watchmen. The visual of Martha’s(!!!) pearl necklace snapping in the gun’s safety as the trigger is pulled is sort of fascinating but also pretty grotesque, all things considered. Batffleck is saying something, though I cannot remember what. We see the funeral, little Bruce running into the woods in sadness during the procession, only to fall into a well or pit or some such hole in the ground. The score, I’m sure, was going crazy.

And then, it happens. Baby Bruce is levitated out the pit by seemingly hundreds of bats flying around him like a tornado, floating him towards the light. This is how we are abruptly told that this is a dream sequence, and reader, I laughed. Not the cackle it deserved, but I couldn’t stop it from escaping completely. I chuckled, giggled, whatever; I’m pretty sure Tommy hit me on the arm to calm me down and get me stop but I’m not quite sure. The giggle is what counts, though, and it haunts me. What if I had just burst out laughing at a moment that the whole theater was palpably flummoxed by? Batffleck wakes up but I am still reeling from the horseshit prologue we have been subjected to. It is not the most nonsensical thing we are going to see in this movie. It is not even the least plot-relevant indulgence that Zack Snyder will take us through, nor the least inexplicable jump of energy or plot logic that we’ll be forced to sit through. Academy Award winner Holly Hunter will be forced to stare dramatically, in close-up, to a jar of piss before she and dozens of other people are killed in an assassination plot meant to frame Superman, whose own close up registers at the subtle, bottomless despair and discomfort of sitting on the can and realizing you’re not quite done shitting, except Henry Cavill also registers as remarkably bored. Jeremy Irons reads every line as Alfred Pennyworth with such bitchy, subtly nasty inflections that I actually found the character an unwelcome presence, though if anyone found this a life raft of something enjoyable happening on screen, particularly Irons, then by all means savor him. Amy Adams will throw a Kryptonite spear into an underwater pile of rubble and, with no indication that Lois Lane has been told why the heroes need it to vanquish the rock monster that is Doomsday, dives into the water and nearly drowns recovering it. Batman slaughters - in fact, he often guns down - dozens of criminals on screen, brands sex offenders, had one montage that’s just him training to become even beefier and another, completely bizarre dream sequence that may also be a warning from another dimension’s Flash where Superman is technically Hitler, and Barry Allen screams about Lois Lane before Batffleck wakes up at his desk, which is meant to convey that this May Have Been A Dream Or Is It Ooooooh. This scene has no narrative impact and is never referenced again, though it is not as patently stupid as is the sight of Superman, wielding that Kryptonite spear, deciding to kamikaze himself by killing Doomsday with the knowledge that he cannot survive any assault the giant may bring on him while he is in such close proximity to said spear, ignoring the two superheroes who have been helping him fight Doomsday this whole time.

There are plenty of other absurd, delicious, amazingly shitty one-offs. Michael Shannon is credited for appearing in the film for the three seconds General Zod’s corpse floats in the remains of his spaceship. The President of the United States decides to nuke Superman in the middle of his fight with Doomsday after the latter threw the Man of Steel into the Earth’s orbit (a safe enough distance to nuke him, I suppose). Diane Lane is duck taped and tied to a chair, threatened to be burned alive as Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor throws photos of her with “Witch” written on her face, and all of this is tied into some mythological asinine crap that is Luthor’s motivation for wanting to kill Superman and create Doomsday in the first place. Eisenberg spends the whole film as some combination of Edward Nygma and a meth addict’s impersonation of Heath Ledger’s Joker, and it is by far the biggest trainwreck in the whole film. I think I also resisted laughing once “MARTHA!!???!?!?!?!!!” happened but in truth, I blocked that out of my memory. The sheer joy of seeing Wonder Woman, and hearing the score come alive as she roars into battle, literally, at some points, is all that is keeping me from giving this film an F grade, though perhaps I just can’t rate an Amy Adams film that low. Gal Gadot is at least enjoying herself, which is in even bigger contrast to the stark constipation that Cavill and Ben Affleck are constantly exuding. The film has ideas about literal hero worship, about what Superman could mean or stand for, and wants to have real conversations about his necessity, but it jerry-rigs them through Christic imagery and working hard to undermine the criticisms of genuine challengers and the critics themselves. Bruce’s hatred and suspicion of the Man of Steel seems completely arbitrary, banking on the fear of Superman turning on humanity in spite of his big coming-out party as a global entity being the eradication of his home species for the sake of mankind. Horrific as the collateral damage was, it’s not in line with anything Superman does in the film, is shown as doing, or is framed as doing by Synder himself, who doesn’t pretend for a moment that there’s actually anything wrong with Superman. He’s content to make the man a misunderstood martyr, a golden boy whose death inspires the formation of The Justice League and the warming up of Batman’s glacial, inherently distrusting heart. Superman is basically fridged on behalf of Bruce Wayne, and it’s clumsily executed as Smallville himself is. 

There are so many vile, absurd, abstracted, unnecessary, horrific moments in this film and yet, I still wonder how much that night would’ve changed had I actually burst out laughing at the beginning of the film. What would’ve changed for the whole theater if some jackass sitting hear the back-left had cackled as a small child is literally lifted out of a scene the filmgoing public had seen at least seventy-eight million times by now, one that kicks off an indefensibly ghastly excuse for a Hollywood spectacle lit worse than even the lowest budge episode of The X-Files and colored like it’s scared that bright shades will deflate how Dour and Serious this Cinematic Experience is? Recounting many of the set pieces I’ve already mentioned back to my sister afterwards I couldn’t help cackling at some of them, though I did so far more angrily with Tommy immediately after, baffled not just that I had paid for this film but that it even existed, that anybody who made this gigantic dumpster fire thought that it was in any way a competently crafted, psychologically or emotionally coherent picture. Could we, as a crowd, as a community, have laughed at this horseshit for what it was? I love that in horror movies the audience always make the pact with itself that fine, this is a lot, you deserve a good scream. This picture was even more upsetting, and perhaps if I’d laughed, having taken the piss out of it so goddamn early, we wouldn’t have had to just sit there and take it. We could’ve fought back and laughed at it (with it?), openly railed against it, or just fucking not be quiet throughout this whole ordeal. I will always be haunted by this inaction on my part, and to this day it shames me.

He did try to defend parts of it, but not much, and for sure stole my comments about how Eisenberg wasn’t even playing Lex Luthor when we starting talking about the film to our RA Josh and fellow hallmate Dylan in the hall that same night. Josh peddled the theory that Marvel people had paid off critics to hate on DC’s live-action features, which I challenged by asking why Marvel would even need to do that. It’s not even that DC’s films are so drastically worse than any of Marvel’s features, but Marvel at least has a brand formula at work. Their knock is never that their bad, just predictable and uninspired, though they’ve been getting a little better at going against both those counts lately, with the Guardians films at least. And I will say this for Batman v Superman: It’s awfulness has staked a far larger claim on my mental landscape than The Avengers or Deadpool or most Marvel fare ever has. I liked Man of Steel fine, was particularly impressed by the early minimalism in portraying Superman’s powers, especially his x-ray vision, and was even playing devil’s advocate with family members I saw it with. I’m semi-interested to return to it, but not passionately so. You for sure couldn’t call this film formulaic, perhaps unworthy of all the bombast it’s applying to itself but worthy of notice the way a burning car is, or how Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern are seemingly in awe of that giant pile of shit in Jurassic Park. As dubious as literally every aspect of this film is, the sheer magnitude of its awfulness is compelling in such a way that I became anticipatory of the film’s eventual Rifftrax takedown as I was watching it. I don’t know how soon into it this idea started, but once Amy Adams dived in to get that spear I could already hear the befuddled joke about Lois Lane: Plot Psychic that Kevin Murphy would probably hurl at the screen, and it made this mess a little bit better.

All things being honest, I am absolutely going to see Justice League with my boyfriend, though I wonder how much more excited he is than I am. I loathed Suicide Squad but thought it was so poorly edited I stopped caring and would up having something of an okay time, appreciating Margot Robbie trying to find a character in Harley Quinn and relishing that Viola Davis actively seemed to want to be there a little as I did. Of course I’ve seen Wonder Woman, a step above most recent DC efforts in that it’s compelling, competently told and emotionally resonant, though it really shows Gadot isn’t much of an actress. There’s a lot about it I questioned in the moment but I am so, so appreciative of Wonder Woman as a film that exists, and one I mostly enjoyed seeing even as I actively wished for a better version of the film while I was watching it. Maybe I should just not see these given how much I end up railing against these projects, but I love watching movies with my guy (who I also love) and they are great conversation fodder. Plus, we watch lots of better movies together! Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was the first of many, many delightful date night movies, and we weren’t even dating yet! My guy was easily the best part of the film, though it’d be a discredit to it say that it wasn’t a memorable experience, future boyfriend or no. I truly hope I never see it again, at least not sober, but I got a great story out of it, and a great man too, which is more than a lot of movies have ever given me. And at the end of the day, it’s that the biggest reward a person could get? It’s not like this makes Batman v Superman anything more than a gray, ugly, violent, gross, despicable, unpleasant, misogynistic, time-wasting, utterly horrendous, steaming pile of shit. But hey, it counts for something.

[bloodborne-on-pc]

Over the course of three days - Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday(today) - I have, with one of my siblings, watched all the Showa era Gamera movies. And I, I have come out a changed man. Or woman. Person. I dunno anymore. Back on subject, I just. Need to talk about them. Screaming into void about movies I recently saw is therapeutic - especially if they piss me off. And hoo boy were there times when I couldn’t stand these fucking movies - as in, there were only two whole-ass movies, out of eight, that I liked unironically. Everything else was either unintentionally funny, or just made me angry. Especially after being introduced to Gamera through the Heisei trilogy, which is AWESOME as FUCK. Probably raised my standards. Also, I’m just gonna put the rest under a “Read More” because this is gonna get reeeaaalllyyy long.

First, we got Gamera, the Giant Monster. This is one of the genuinely good ones. Technically this isn’t my first time seeing it - I saw the English dub, Gammera the Invincible. But I may as well have been seeing it for the first time - aside from the English version adding a bunch of new footage, there’s also this awful fucking song that I’m like 60% sure has some kind of amnesia curse on it, because it seems longer every time I’ve ever heard it, and I barely remember the English version except for two parts, one of which has the previously mentioned cursed song playing during it. BUT. Back to the original, un-cursed version of Gamera. Gamera gets woken up when a plane carrying nukes crashes in the Arctic, and he busts out of the ice, making a regular mess of things. He sinks a research vessel, rampages through Tokyo a bit - knocking over Tokyo Tower, which is kind of obligatory in these sorts of movies - and then stomps all over a power plant and eats some fire, ‘cause that’s just what he does. The humans try all sorts of tricks, ranging from just good old gunfire to freezing him - but none of it works. Dude’s just unkillable. So they lure him to an island by spilling a bunch of oil on the ocean and setting it on fire(insert BP joke), and then they trap him in a big rocket, which they launch into space.

Then, we get to Gamera versus Barugon. Not to be mistaken for Baragon, a completely different monster. This movie is...boring. The fights between Barugon and Gamera are kind of entertaining, but they happen near the beginning and at the end. The middle of the film just really drags on and on and on and ON. Barugon is kind of an interesting monster, at least. He has a chameleon-like tongue that shoots gas out of the tip and freezes stuff. He can also shoot rainbow lasers out of his back - which can be reflected back at him with a big enough mirror, something the humans do once the movie decides to stop being boring and let things happen again. Until Gamera shows up and just drowns the fucker. Also forgot to mention - the whole “shoot Gamera into space” thing was made moot when a meteor smacked into the rocket transporting Gamera to Mars and broke it open, freeing Gamera. He then just flew back to Earth and went back to stomping on power plants and eating fire.

Next, is Gamera versus Gyaos. This is the other good film. The explanation of Gyaos’s biology is pretty strange, though. There’s some shit about it having two spinal cords and two throats, which is how it can produce the sound necessary for its sonic beam - and these features essentially make it impossible for it to turn its head; something that plays into Gyaos’s defeat. Gamera gets behind and just whales on it, and Gyaos can’t do shit because it can’t turn its head to shoot the sonic beam. Also, Gyaos can’t stand sunlight - being out in the sun gives it god-tier sunburn. That was another contributing factor to its death - Gamera beating the snot out of it during the day make things a little easier. It also had this weird ability to shoot yellow gas out of its torso that put out fires. Seemed kind of random, but when you have a turtle that breathes fire, eats fire, and flies by spewing fire out of its leg and arm holes, it makes for a more interesting fight.

And from here on out, it’s downhill motherfuckers.

Film number four - Gamera versus Viras. This is the first film where a different but equally annoying song about Gamera shows up - and is then in almost every other movie afterwards, each with its own slightly different rendition of it. It’s enough to drive someone insane after hearing it enough - and watching this series, you are going to hear it a lot. There’s a lot of bullshit in this fucking movie. At one point, Gamera get stuck under a forcefield with a submersible - ya know what fucking happens? Gamera lifts up part of the forcefield to let the submersible out - but then, doesn’t continue to lift it up to free himself. He just sits there like a dumbass. Then some aliens read his mind, and look at stock footage of the fights from vs. Barugon and vs. Gyaos. Then they mind control him, and make Gamera wreak havoc on Earth, depicted through even more stock footage - some of it from when he destroys a power plant in vs. Barugon, and some of it from when he smashes Tokyo in the first film. Oh, did I mention that the first movie was in black and white, and the others are all in color? This means there’s a random part in vs. Viras that’s just in fucking black and white for no reason, because it’s fucking footage taken from the original movie! There’s also this one big plothole: at point, a pair of kids(b/c the protagonists of these movies from Viras forward are annoying-ass children) are trapped on the alien’s ship. They get shackled to the wall, but manage to free themselves, and try to find a way off. At one point, they find a monster in a cage. Eventually, the kids decide to distract the aliens(who are identical to humans) so they can teleport themselves off-ship. They run into the control room with the aliens and yell about how oh no the monster is free! And the aliens fall for it - not even questioning why the kids aren’t imprisoned anymore. If that sounds stupid, it gets worse. The monster? Is their fucking boss, Viras. Even worse, they’re not even actually humanoid,  but the exact same type of creature - they’re just wearing human skins as a disguise; kind of horrifying in hindsight, but at the time I was too busy being confused by how this made no sense. After that’s revealed, they all fuse with the boss monster, making him tall enough to fight Gamera. They duke it out, kind of interesting, especially the bit where Gamera gets impaled several times in a row by Viras. Reminder that this is when the franchise became aimed more at children. Gamera wins by flying high into the atmosphere, which freezes Viras, and then chucks Viras back down to Earth, killing him. There’s a lot more bullshit I could have covered, but I need to save my energy for the next four films and I feel exhausted writing about this already.

Next, Gamera versus Guiron. A pair of kids accidentally steal a spaceship and end up on another planet. This is witnessed by one of the kid’s sister, who tries to tell her mom, who denies that aliens even exist - even though, in the previous movie, the UN surrendered to aliens after Gamera’s mind control-fuelled rampage. On the planet, the kids meet two nice lady aliens who are the last of their species there - everyone else left because there’s a bunch of silver Space Gyaos making a mess of everything. The alien ladies have control of another monster named Guiron, who helps fend off the Space Gyaos with the giant knife on his head and telekinetic shuriken that rest on the underside of the knife. Oddly enough, they never actually showed the back legs of the suit on-screen - sometimes there’d be a puppet where you could see Guiron’s back legs, but never when it was a guy in a suit - I can’t help but wonder if the suit was unfinished and they tried to hide it. Anywho, Gamera - who chased after the ship to try and save the kids - is kind of a little bitch in this one - he seems to make a much bigger deal out of relatively minor wounds in this one than some of the others. Like, as previously mentioned in vs. Viras, he got fucking impaled and kept going right away - but here he makes a big stink about getting hit with one of Guiron’s shuriken. Also, the ladies are actually planning to eat the kids, but seem to switch back and forth between raw and cooked - not in “they argue about their preferences” way, but in the “in one scene they say raw and another cooked” kind of way. They also read one of the kid’s mind to see how strong Gamera is, resulting in stock footage from the previous three films. Ultimately, said annoying kids help Gamera kill Guiron - after Gamera lifts up Guiron and drops him on his head, getting him stuck in the ground thanks to a pointy head. Guiron shoots his shuriken at Gamera, but Gamera manages to dodge them; the kids shoot some missiles at Guiron, but they miss. Gamera managed to catch one - the hole where the shuriken were resting Guiron’s head is now empty, so Gamera throws it like a dart into the hole and breathes fire on the missile, causing it blow up. You see Guiron’s corpse fly into the air, headless, but then you see it on the ground with his head still attached, just slightly scorched, which is bizarre as shit.

The sixth film, Gamera versus Jiger, does not have aliens or stock footage, making it more tolerable than the others. Mostly it’s the latter that pisses me off, but there’s a lot of aliens in these movies. Jiger is, instead, an ancient monster from the fictional Wester Island off the coast of Africa. The statue that kept her imprisoned is removed and she is free to wreak havoc. Gamera tries to stop her, but Jiger shoots spears out of horns on her snout and impales Gamera’s limbs, then knocks him onto his back - bad news even for giant turtles. Jiger then swims off to find the statue in Japan. Gamera pulls out the spears and makes chase, but gets his ass beat a second time. He gets stabbed by the stinger in Jiger’s tail and falls comatose half-submerged on a beach. Turns out she laid an egg his lung and the baby Jiger is sucking his blood - which is fucking weird, because the stinger didn’t have a hole in it or anything. So a pair of kids steal a submersible and steer it into Gamera, then accidentally kill the baby with white noise from a walkie-talkie. The adults set up a giant speaker system to kill big Jiger with while the kids connect a bunch of powerlines to Gamera’s heart to jumpstart him. The first thing doesn’t work, the second does - they fight again, Gamera manages to dodge stinger and spears, and wins by picking up the statue then shoving it into Jiger’s brain. There was also some shit about how the statue was able to imprison Jiger because it made a low-frequency sound, which was harmful to Jiger because she could shoot high-frequency heat beams, and those two things are “opposite”, and, I dunno, this doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Now, we have Gamera versus Zigra. More aliens. One of who is a big fish, Ziger, who grows larger in Earth’s ocean because of the lessened pressure, even though that’s not how this shit works - the reason most deep-sea animals die when brought up isn’t because they suffocate, but because they can’t survive in lower/no water pressure. There was also some shit about SeaWorld or whatever. Fuck SeaWorld. There was also a part where some people got hypnotized into having dolphin brains, and the only way to fix them was to scream into a walkie-talkie. That, at least was hilarious. I honestly can’t remember much about what happened even though I watched it today - I think the other Gamera song might have an amnesia curse too.

And now, last, and agreed by everybody to be the least - Gamera: Super Monster. This, I actually did not watch all of - partway through, one of my parents texted me to make dinner, and by the time I finished the movie was basically over. Based off what I did see, and the fact that it’s primarily stock footage, I have no intention of seeing anymore. It started off kind of wacky, with a bunch of alien ladies on Earth doing some kind of Superman/Power Rangers type transformation. There was also another evil lady alien hunting them down. There was also a kid, who got a pet turtle, and then released it a couple days later because his mother convinced him that the turtle would be “happier” in the pond, and that makes me angry because that’s how invasive species happen, and please don’t release your pets into wild, people. There was some stuff where this kid played the organ and sang a really annoying song. There was also some boring stuff I can’t be bothered to write down. Then there was some stock footage of Gyaos from the third movie, because a new one just kind of showed up, I guess. That’s all I saw, then I had to make pizza burgers. I apparently didn’t miss much, though my brother mentioned there was one part where there was a train or something in space that was clearly ripped from some kind of animated movie, and Gamera chasing after it, probably also stock footage. Fuck this movie - I haven’t seen it all but fuck it.

In conclusion, fuck the Showa series, except for the original and vs. Gyaos. Those are the only good ones. Honestly feeling kind of disappointed. I expected more from these movies.

I think I’m gonna go watch the Heisei trilogy, AKA Gamera movies that are consistently good. My hands hurt from typing too much.

[deadsuncoldtakes]

People need to talk about Fanon Padme vs. Canon Padme more as well. Fanon Padme is basically a non actor well meaning naive politician. Meanwhile Canon Padme has, clawed her way to the throne of a planet spanning monarchy through political skill alone at the age of 14 (Which the planet wanted to keep her in the position of and return to a hereditary monarchy because she was just that good at it), led a violent coup against the occupying government as the tip of the spear in the raid on said government's leaders and obviously only spared them to get their droids off her space lawn, proceeded to retain the symbols of her monarchy after she stepped down (only queens get to have the pure chrome spaceships on Naboo), then pursue a more politically advantageous career for the sole purpose of advancing her personal political beliefs (Ironic considering she wanted essentially democracy by force but only her brand of democracy), at which point when someone she met when he was 9 and she was 14 grew up to be physically attractive and equally driven reunited with her decided to be a cradle robber in spite of putting at risk bot her own political goals and possibly the entire career and religious status of said other party, joined her much younger new boyfriend on a trip back to his desert shithole where upon she decides to ignore him going apeshit when he discovers his mother dead and slaughtering an entire small village because I guess she finds that level of protectiveness hot, decides to marry him after they almost die in gladiatorial combat and he gets his arm cut off, decides to keep this relationship a secret throughout the entire war because an adjustment to either of their lifestyles is out of the question, doesn't use any contraceptive measures because the idea that having children in a secret marriage during a war both her and her partner play key roles in is a bad idea, then proceeds to basically have an emotional shut down when all the consequences of her terrible choices come down on her at once. Canon Padme is not an UWU cinnamon roll, she's a mentally unstable borderline psychopath who made a lot of stupid choices on what was essentially a decade and a half long power trip. She did genuinely love Anakin, want to do the right thing (by a certain definition), and was a strong proponent of (a very specific flavor of) democracy. But quite frankly the twins sitting on her bladder was probably the only thing stopping her from juicing up on Nanodroids and setting off to get her Metal Gear Rising: Revengance on Palpatine the nanosecond she realized he was a threat to her fairytaLe life. The constant misconstruing of Padme's character is annoying as hell and I wish more people would accept she's basically just Senator Armstrong with better optics. A Politician who has a very specific idea of how the world should function that may even be correct to an extent but whose egotistical moral compass leads them to pursue those goals in devastatingly immoral ways.

SW Fandom Complaints

Y’know, it drives me crazy how much I want/need to ask people’s advice on fics for how people should react to things, but there’s like, no one I can ask. I mean, seriously. Just some of the crazier things I’ve seen in the SW fandom…

Fandom: Anakin holds grudges like no one else!!

Canon Anakin in AotC: talks to someone who did terrible things to him and his mother as a child without the slightest hint of animosity

Fandom: Anakin would have panicked if someone found out he was married!!

Canon Anakin in RotS: “I don’t care if they know were married.”

(That’s a direct quote. Goodness. -.-)

Fandom: Obi-Wan cared about the clones so much!!

Canon Obi-Wan in RotS: casually sits and chats about treason in a gunship in front of a row of clones standing behind him, and acts as if they aren’t there.

(I can never rant about this moment enough… -.- Obi-Wan, Windu, and Yoda were just sitting in the middle of the gunship surrounded by the clones as if they aren’t even there. >.< It was right after they put Anakin on the Council, fyi. Look it up yourself if you wanna.)

Fandom: Anakin didn’t care about the clones!!!!!!

Canon Anakin in RotS (the only scene with him and the clones, mind you): asks to go help the clones when they’re on a very important, time-pressed mission to rescue one of Anakin’s best and only true friends (FROM HIS POV, MIND YOU O.O) and flatly told no by Obi-Wan.

Clone Wars Anakin in the seventh season (the very fact that it’s in the CLONE WARS says a lot, even if the 7th season was by far the most decent): throws himself over Rex to shield him from these flying creatures

(I recommend a memory or eye examination to whoever says this. Sorry, but I’m serious.)

Fandom: Ahsoka is the definition of everything good and light and can never do anything dark!!

Clone Wars Ahsoka: Is ready to beat someone up because she’s mad, electrocutes someone with a smirk on her face, leaves the Order and thereby abandons everyone who cares for her, even if the person who cares for her most is begging her not to leave him

Rebels Ahsoka: attacks the man she used to call her older brother out of vengeance

(I get she might be awesome, but she’s far from perfect. Goodness. Why do you always hafta make your favorite character perfect?! That is so boring.)

Fandom: Obi-Wan is the definition of everything good and light and can never do anything dark!!

Canon Obi-Wan in RotS: smiles as his opponent (Grievous) burns to death and jokes about it afterwards

(I’ll leave you to your fantasies, but I’m going to go back to obsessively writing Sith Obi-Wan fics. Good day and good luck at life. You’ll need it.)

Fandom: Luke is the definition of everything good and light and can never do anything dark!!

Luke in RotJ: nearly kills his own father in a blind fit of rage

Luke in tLJ: nearly kills his own nephew because he was scared

(Need I repeat what I already said about Obi-Wan…? Though I think I can pass on the whole Sith-part shudders)

Fandom: Leia has a bad temper and never forgives people!!

Leia (in the sequels): is the only person who forgave herself, Han, and Luke and clearly has no hard feelings against Ben or anybody but Snoke

(facepalms)

Fandom: Anakin was abusive of Padme!

Canon in AotC: Anakin tells Padme the things he’s upset with Obi-Wan for (which she saw was true herself the day before), and her response implies he has no right to feel that way. Anakin tells her he’s upset he’s not a Knight yet, and she later casually tells someone that he’s “just a padawan learner” when he was standing right beside her. Anakin (who is currently in charge of her security) tries to suggest where she should go, and she cuts him off without hearing him through and then makes him apologize. (Goodness, people do that to me so much -_-)

Canon in RotS: Anakin starts telling Padme the Council doesn’t trust him (which we’ve already clearly seen) and she promptly contradicts him as if she somehow knows better. (And there’s that moment in a deleted scene where she stops to glare at Anakin in Palpatine’s office and he just totally shrinks in on himself and looks away -.-)

(People, please… get your eyes checked. :> I hafta say, though, Disney is a lifesaver for including that little Anidala moment in the seventh season, because otherwise I’d have to say Anakin is a literal angel for loving her so much. At least it’s obvious she can be supportive and (occasionally ;_;) nice, now. xD)

Fandom: Cody hated Obi-Wan! (Yeah, I’ve seen this too)

Canon Cody in RotS: literally teasing Obi-Wan

(HONESTLY, can people please forget about these two all the way around? They’re relationship is either way underwritten, or completely blown out of proportion. I already went over how it’s obvious Obi-Wan could care less about the clones… though the CW did show he definitely shared somewhat of a bond with Cody, it obviously wasn’t anything very deep.)

Fandom: Jedi never show emotions to anyone!!

Canon Qui-Gon in tPM: being openly emotional about his bond with Obi-Wan.

Canon Yoda in AotC: “To see you alive brings warm feelings to my heart.”

Canon Windu in RotS: talks non-stop about how he doesn’t trust Anakin (talk about “your emotions are clouding your judgement”. Seriously. Sheesh. I wonder where they’d be if Windu didn’t always let his emotions cloud his better judgement WHICH SAY TO TREAT ANAKIN LIKE AN EQUAL INSTEAD OF A SUBHUMAN… SOMETHING.)

Canon Obi-Wan in AotC and RotS: talks openly about his feelings to everybody (even if the only time he does with Anakin is to guilt him into listening to him >.<)

Canon Anakin in AotC: talks openly with Padme and Obi-Wan about his fears for his mother and his feelings for them

Fandom: Obi-Wan loved Anakin too much!!!!!

Canon Obi-Wan in RotS (Sheesh, I need to cite this?!): leaves his so-called little brother to burn to death because he didn’t want to kill him

PS: The sole definition of true, selfless love is when you’re willing to give anything to care for or protect someone (even from themselves… yeah?) and you put them over yourself, which means giving them a very, very fast, painless death if you really need to (BY THE FORCE, HOW DOES ANYBODY NEED ME TO SPELL THIS OUT?!)

(ASDJLFKAJSDFLKASDHJ;FKLASD)

Fandom: Anakin is so dramatic!!

Canon Anakin in tPM, AotC, and RotS: downplays anything that’s wrong or bothers him, if he mentions it in the first place

Fandom: Obi-Wan is so patient!!

Canon Obi-Wan in tPM: “Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?! >.<” (or smth to that effect)

Fandom: Obi-Wan always tried to make Anakin talk to him, but Anakin never listened!!

Canon Obi-Wan and Anakin in AotC:

Anakin: talking to Jar Jar about something that’s upsetting him

Obi-Wan: “Mind your thoughts, Anakin”

Anakin: “You’re the closest thing I have to a father.”

Obi-Wan: “Then why don’t you listen to me?”

Anakin: “I try.”

Obi-Wan: promptly changes topic

Fandom: Obi-Wan can defeat anybody, even Sidious, and never loses a fight!!

Obi-Wan in Clone Wars season 4: is beaten unconscious in five seconds flat (okay maybe it was more) by Maul and Savage and needed Ventress to come save him.

Obi-Wan in the crystal crisis: does trash, gets himself captured, and has to bide his time to avoid being tortured to death (AND THERE ARE APPARENTLY PEOPLE WHO SAY GRIEVOUS IS GOOD?!?!) so Anakin can save his life

Obi-Wan in RotS: has apparently been rescued by Anakin ten times (or nine times… whatever -_- xD)

Let us not forget…

Clone Wars Sidious season 5: beats Maul and Savage (the same madmen who captured Obi-Wan and let’s not forget Savage has a metal arm which makes him stronger, and Maul is physically closer to what he used to be, which would make him able to fight far easier since he doesn’t have a different/altered body much anymore) with ease and cackles like he’s playing a game and having fun the entire time

And then we have the craziest one I have ever seen… (no offense, sir, but this is outrageous)

Someone (I cannot say fandom for this, I’ve only seen it once or twice): Sidious was good! :D

…I think I have no reason to reply to that one, do I?

If I do, let me just point out that he chopped his son open while he was fully conscious. I don’t think I need to get into the part where he murdered trillions of beings on a mad quest for galactic conquest… or tortured his grandson and tried to absorb-eat-whatever his great-grandson and his not-girlfriend. (I DO NOT SHIP REYLO FYI)

To put it short, I have no idea what the difference between Canon and Fanon and Clone Wars is anymore, and it screws with my brain (and everybody else’s) so bad I’ve lost track of the difference between truth and reality. -_________-

[frattocri9724]

Steven Universe: Obsidian The Crystal Temple Fusion -  Possible Powers and Abilities

Hello, everybody. Today, as I explained in my previous post, I’m going to talk to you about my personal deduction about the possible power and strength of Obsidian, the name given to the Crystal Temple Fusion by the creator Rebecca Sugar. This giant Fusion is depicted as the giant rock sculpture covering the entrance of the Crystal Temple. It’s never been estimated if it had ever existed, what abilities or powers she could have shown or anything else. There’s a current rumor which suggests that the fusion Obsidian was mentioned during Pearl’s own retelling of Captain Dewey’s story in “Mindful Education”, which, don’t get me wrong, is very possible, but that’s another story that we are not gonna discuss about in this article. What I’m gonna do is trying to find out how possibly powerful this Fusion is and, trust me, the implications of the conclusion I managed to reach are both terrifying and awesome at the same time. Obsidian, the Crystal Temple Fusion, isn’t just overpowered - she’s probably THE most overpowered Fusion in the entire series. Fusions like Malachite, Alexandrite, or even Blue and Yellow Diamond wouldn’t even stand a chance against this monstrosity. Now, obviously, it’s important to enlist which criterias I will cover over the course of the article in order to estimate Obsidian’s possible strength and special abilities and powers. For istance, I will try to perform power scaling of the “Steven Universe” franchise as much as I can and, in order to better develop the scaling, I will partially rely on some external sources, like the VS Battle Wiki, the OBD Wiki’s feats calculations and the SpaceBattles.com forum about the “Steven Universe respect/feats” post. Now, hear me out: I personally aknowledge that all of these sites do have their fair share amount of faults and errors. These sites aren’t full reliable sources (especially the VS Battle Wikia) but, at least, these sites would still help me to construct the basis for my analysis of Obsidian because I still need to start from somewhere and, if someone knows a better place on the internet to find more reliable informations about Steven Universe’s characters’s capabilities, please write to me in the comments. Also, I will obviously scale down or high the Fusion Obsidian to other better known characters in the series. So, with that said, let’s begin. For starters, let’s briefly recap what is a Fusion. In the “Steven Universe” franchise, a Fusion is an amalgamation of two or multiple Gems which combine their physical essences into one powerful being that’s noticebly stronger than the single parts. Furthermore, the Fusion is achieved through a synchronized dance between the Gems which also must perfectly synchronize their emotions and minds at best in order to maintain the Fusion. Fusions in “Steven Universe”, more or less, follow a simple rule for power scaling: the strength of the Fusion depends on both the number of the Gems involved in the ritual and, most importantly, it depends on the power of the singular Gems. Think about “Gurren Lagann” mechas’s combinations, but with space rock warriors. For example, a lot of people would agree to think that Smoky Quartz, the Fusion between Steven and Amethyst, is far weaker than Sugilite, the Fusion between Amethyst and Garnet. Finally, as Sarsonyx stated while talking to Smoky Quartz, a Fusion always develops something new, like a new power or a new weapon, and it’s been shown during the series that Fusions always manage to create or develop abilities, weapons and powers which are a combination of the Gems’s individual powers and weapons or, even more impressively, they might even develop further enhanced versions of the Gems’s powers. For istance, Garnet’s Electrokinesis is a combination of Ruby’s Thermokinesis and Sapphire’s Cryokinesis, while Alexandrite’s giant flame stream that she shot at Malachite is probably an ultimately powered-up verison of Ruby’s heat-based powers which gets an upgrade due to the fact that Alexandrite is a quadruple Fusion. Speaking of which, Alexandrite is gonna be mentioned quite often in this analysis because it’s a key factor in order to estimate Obsidian’s power. From the few pieces of informations we got from the creators, Obsidian is presumably a Fusion between the original Crystal Gems, so Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet and Rose Quartz- ops, sorry, should I have said, Pink Diamond?! That’s right, folks! The Fusion Obsidian is starting to become more interesting. First off, let’s take Alexandrite. Alexandrite is the quadruple Fusion between Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl and is described as “an incredible force on the battlefield”, it’s the Crystal Gems’s ace in the sleeves and the strongest weapon they have at their disposal against unchallengable odds. This Fusion is strong enough to challenge Malachite, the Fusion between Lapis Lazuli and Jasper, and managing to held her own against her. Being a Fusion of the present Crystal Gems, Alexandrite can be considered stronger, faster and tougher than the previous Fusions like Opal, Sardonyx and Sugilite. Among them, Opal’s Light Arrows fairly exceed the power output of one Laser Light Cannon, which was capable of one-shoting the Red Eye, which is probably larger than the Crystal Temple itself; Sardonyx has been statd of being able to attack at sub-relativistic speeds since she managed to launch the Rubies into space from the Moon Base for several hundreds of chilometers; Sugilite was considered the Fusion with the highest raw destructive power among the previous Fusions and she was capable of destroying a Communication Hub with a single twisted punch. With these comparisons in mind, you can get an idea of just how stronger Alexandrite is. She’s also bigger than Sugilite and her estimated height is around 25”. Most importantly, being a Fusion of the Crystal Gems, Alexandrite does have access to each one of the Gems’s special powers and skills. Since now, Alexandrite showed the ability to summon nearly each one of the Gems’s and Fusions’s weapons, like Opal’s bow, Sugilite’s flail, Amethyst’s whip, Pearl's spear and Sardonyx's war hammer. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the opportunity to further watch more of Alexandrite’s abilities and powers; however, since she summoned the Gems’s weapons, we can assume that she’s also capable of utilizing their special powers too. Last, but not least, Alexandrite has one major known weakness: due to the fact that multiple Gems combine their energies to create such war machine, they require an extremely high level of concentration and effort to keep themselves together. This is the reason why, should the Gems not collaborate, the Fusion can be easely broken. This is also the reason why Alexandrite may look weaker than she truly is, not because of her durability, but due to the effort needed to maintain the synchronization. Think about this Fusion like the Super Saiyan 3 form for Goku. Now, with that said, you take Alexnadrite, then you add Pink Diamond into the mix and there you have the special recipe for an unstoppable Gem juggernaut. Being a Diamond, Pink should be considered one of the most powerful Gems in her universe and, even though she’s considered the weakest of the Diamonds, she would still be superior than the majority of other top tier characters in the series, like Garnet, Topaz, Jasper and Lapis Lazuli. As shown in the series, the Diamonds are arguably capable to witstand the combined assault of the Crystal Gems, Lapis, Lion and Bismuth all at the same time without getting injured. Blue Diamond, in particular, witstood so much punishment from all directions and even freeing herself from Lapis’s chains that were strong enough to restrain Malachite and getting crushed by her own spaceship thrown by the Cluster, resulting only with her being more pissed of than hurt. After all, Pink was still Rose Quartz, the leader of the rebellion back at the Gem War. From what we saw Pink doing, we say that she’s strong enough to easely defeat a triple Rubies Fusion, stopping a spinning Ferris wheel with her bare hands and even generating so much pressure in her hands she managed to turn dirt into shards of diamonds and, most notably, she has probably shown the highest amounts of powers in the series than any other character. Such powers include the Bubble and the Shield. Not only the Bubble is a fairly effective defensive power but Pink’s son, Steven, showed also the ability to protrude sharp spikes out of the bubble, allowing the user to transform defense into offense. The Shield, in particular, is Pink’s trademark defensive tool and it’s been shown to be nearly indestructible. Even once summoned by the far less experienced Steven Universe, the Shield protected him and the Crystal Gems from an energy blast shor by Peridot’s warship that was gonna destroy both the Crystal Temple and, arguably, even Beach City. The Shield seems also to be able to deflect energy-based attacks pretty easely, regardless of their actual destructivness, like the Diamond’s Corruption Attack. As for other powers, Pink shows the ability to float in midair, granting her improved aerial mobility, including the ability to freelt control the speed of the fall and, most important than anything, are Pink’s healing powers. As shown even by her son Steven, Pink’s healing power allow the user to heal and repair both organic and inorganic matter. It’s only thanks to this power that Pink’s rebellion managed to survive and kept fighting during the Gem War. Also, as demonstrated by Steven, the healing powers can be utilized to create sentient plant life forms which solely obey to their creator’s will, protecting him at all costs, and as well reviving the deads. So, after enlisting all of Pink Diamonds’s powers and briefly trying to estimate her strength compared to other major characters in the series, let’s get to the main question of the article: what kind of abilities, powers and skills could Obsidian develop now knowing that it contains the powers of a Diamond? Firstly, let’s just say that just the implication of adding a Diamond into a Fusion would undoubtedly increase the power of such Fusion to unimaginable levels. I mean, look from this perspective: as said before, Alexandrite’s approximate height ranges between 25 feet tall, and I also read somewhere that the Diamond’s actual height should not be below 30 feet, so, with that said, by adding Pink Diamond to Alexandrite’s Fusion, her overal height should easely surpass 35 feet. Imagine a Fusion even bigger than a Diamonds. It’s just terryfingl to think about. Heck, if we want to further exagerate, we can fairly assume that the possible height of this Fusion is almost comparable to the actual sculpture of the Crystal Temple. I know it sounds so off but, considering how much big the Diamonds are, it’s not that impossible to imagine it. But, now let’s have some fun with her possible powers, shall we? So, for Alexandrite we have all of Pearl’s, Garnet’s and Amethyst’s powers and weapons all combined into one. For Pearl we have amazing acrobatic skills and combat capabilities, her Spear can both shot fast light projectiles and concentrated explosive light blasts, summoning as many Holo-Pearls as she wishes, which combat settings and patterns can be modified to Pearl’s choice; for Amerhyst we have two whips that can slice through Injectors’s metal drills with ease, she can curl herself into a ball and quickly spin, ramming into her opponents, her whips can eventually discharge a sort of explosive purple fire and she can even combine the spin dash with the explosive fire, creating a devastating explosive charged attack; for Garnet we have an already numerous set of abilites, such as superhuman physical capabilities superior to the last Gems, her Gauntlets can level down mountains, create shockwaves and can be shot like Rockets, she can manipulate, absorb and redirect electricity, she’s heatproof and can see the possible futures outcomes, granting her a significant advantage in nearly every possible battle scenario. For Obsidian’s possible powers displays, I imagine her as being capable to manipulate each one of the Gems’s elemental powers to massive scales. For instance, Ruby’s Thermokinesis? Obsidian could just shot a continuos blast of flames from her inferior mouth like Alexandrite but with much greater impact force. Sapphire’s Cryokinesis? Obsidian could be capable to lower her own temperature so much she would be capable to freeze down to the absolute zero whatever thing she touches or even generating a freezing ray that would permanently incapacitate her opponent. Garnet’s Electrokinesis? Obsidian could be capable to launch lightnings from her hands or mouth like Yellow Diamond does and electrocute her opponents. Amethyst’s explosive fire? Obsidian may be capable of combining such power with Ruby’s Thermokinesis, creating an explosive fire beam that annhilates everything in its path. Having the Crystal Gems’s complete arsenal at her disposal, I imagine Obsidian being able to wield each one of these weapons all at once with her eight arms. Obsidian would walk throughout the battlefield with Pearl’s spear, Garnet’s gauntlets, Amethyst’s whips and Pink’s shield, all of which’s power would have been increased tremendously due to the Fusion. Obsidian would also be capable to channel all of her elemental powers into her weapons, granting herself so much long ranged combat options her opponents wouldn’t be capable to respond to all of them at the same time. Adding Pink’s shield to the Fusion’s arsenal, the Crystal Gems’s weapons could be combined with the shield, granting access to many new fusion weapons, including a final combination of each weapon into one final devastating tool of destruction, but more about that last one later. As I searched throughout the internet, a popular combination between Rose’s shield and Pearl’s spear would be something like a parasol or an umbrella: this seemingly bizarre weapon would combine the shield’s unpenetrable defenses with the spear’s maneuverability and extended range of attack, both at short and long ranges, including the ability to shot energy projectiles from the center of the shield, making this weapon looke very similar to the modified umbrellas of DC Comics’s Penguin. A combination between Pink’s shield and Amethyst’s whip would more than likely resemble a slingshot, similar to One Piece’s Usop’s own weapon, the Kabuto. The shield would create the pouch and the whips would create the strings. This weapon would grant the Fusion a higher piercing power compared to Opal’s arrow and probably a faster firing rate. Addictionally, Garnet’s gauntlets could be used as devastating projectiles. A combination between Pink’s shield and Garnet”s gauntlets could be a pair of cestus. In fact, theoretically, despite their destructivness, Garnet’s gauntlets act more like boxing gloves, serving as a protection, while cestis serve more like offensive tools so, in this case, Rose’s shield would become the thick plate and might manifest spikes in the form of rose thorns. The other weapons’s combinations could be even more or even different than what I showed you but, now, let’s get to the powers. This is the part that gets tricky because, while imagining new weapons combinations is much more intuitive, trying to combine Alexandrite’s arsenal of special powers with Pink’s own mostly defensive and supportive-oriented powes is no easy task, but I will still try to do my best. For example, Pink’s spiked shield could be combined with Amethyst’s explosive fire to create a detonating trap for her opponents; upon the adversary makes contact with the spikes, whether it’s with a weapon or their bodies, the spikes would trigger an explosion in the targeted area of the bubble. I also imagine Obsidian infusing the thorns of the bubble with Pearl’s light enegy, creating dangerous projectiles capable of easley piercing through a Diamond warship. Once used by Obsidian, Garnet’s future vision would start to become cleared and less unfocused, allowing Obsidian to more accurately predict the new outcome of the battle or even the single moves and attack patterns of the adversary, nullifying their strategies altogether. There’s also the remote possibility for Obsidian to transform her healing powers into an offensive tool: for example, she couls combine her healing tears with Sapphire’s cryokinesis which, once put upon an adversary, it could instantly freeze that part of the body covered by the power, and so on and on The combinations of Obsidian’s collection of powers and weapons are so diversified that we could stay here the whole day and we will only end up guessing which kind of combination is the best so, to end this article which I already am proud of finally bringing it to life after a long time, I’m going to imagine Obsidian’s most likely ultimate weapon, which is a broadsword. The reason for this quite simple yet efficient idea comes from the fact that, in the episode “Ocean Gem”, once Lapis steals the oceans, we can watch Beach City’s seabed and notice a huge sculpture of a sword. If we looke even more accurately, we will see that the material of this giant sword is the same used for the Crystal Temple. Once the battle gets serious, Obsidian would summon all of her weapons and the she will combine all of them into one huge tool of destruction. This weapon would be substantially a colossal version of Rose’s Sword, with the difference of being completely indestructible for Gems’s standards. Obsidian, thanks to this sword, would be capable to poof even a Diamond, something that has been thought as being impossible and just the movement of the weapon would cause wide shockwaves across the battlefield, leveling city blocks and buildings with just a wide swing. Also, as for the other weapons, Obsidian would also be able to channel her elemental powers into the broadsword, granting herself a major boost in attacking power and speed, as well the ability to unleash the energy through the blade as waves of fire, ice or thunder. Last, but not least, despite all of the fun I had today with the research, Obsidian would have one major weakness: its time limit, which would be extremely and laughably short compared to other Fusions. Speaking in Dragon Ball terms, if Alexandrite is the Super Saiyan 3, then Obsidian would be the Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Kaioken ×10. Obsidian would only be capable of displaying a small portion of her capabilities during a fight because, the longer the Crystal Gems stay fused, the higher the risk is for them of losing their energies so tremendously they would poof themselves due to the strain upon their gemstones. A Fusion with such a potential magnitude of power would be the one of the greatest “glass cannons” in fiction, should she exist: great, nearly unstoppable destructive power but a disappointing and low defense and endurance compared to the energy output. As a final deduction about this Fusion, I will definitively place Obsidian well above the likes of both Alexandrite and Malachite as well. Yes, while Malachite does have Lapis’s ability to manipulate the oceans lf an entire planet to her will, I’m pretty sure that Obsidian’s own physicality would allow her to witstand Malachite’s offense and then obliterate her with just a hypothetical swing of her broadsword. I would also place Obsidian above the likes of Yellow and Blue Diamond due to the fact that, despite Pink is considered the weakest of the Diamonds, it’s only so when she’s alone but, thanks to the Fusion’s enhancing potential, even Yellow and Blue would experience a good amount of troubles with a Fusion that’s potentially bigger, stronger, faster, thougher and with a massively superior array of powers and weapons at her disposal. However, to be totally fair, I’m not sure to place Obsidian higher or equally to White Diamond because: 1) We don’t have enough information about White’s powers, skills or anything like these informations to prove that she’s weaker than Obsidian, and 2) White Diamond ia probably even stronger than Obsidian due to the fact that it’s been suggested that Homeworld’s destruction may have been caused by White herself, making her probably a Planet level in terms of destructive capability, while I’d rank Obsidian more like a Multi-Continent level or something slightly higher than this, but not too much. Most importantly, this Fusion would still not be a match for the Cluster, the only officially planet buster in the series, just like any other character in the series. So, finally, there you have it, my personal analysis of the Crystal Temple Fusion Obsidian. Keep in mind that all of these assumtpions belong to the analysis of an hypothetical Fusion which might never become canon or appearing in any Steven Universe sources. All of the assumptions about Obsidian’s possible powers and skills are all a product of my immagination so, if you don’t like it, please try to not be too rude about it; this is all just for fun. On the contrary, write me down into the comments what do you think about Obsidian’s possible powers. I’m very curious about your opinion. Have a nice day and goodbye!

[random-iz-stuff]

Invader Zim Deathmatch:

ROUND 3, FIGHT 2:

SERGEANT HOBO 678 VS SIZZ-LORR!

The rules are as follows:

1. We’re assuming that both participants actively want and are willing to kill each other unless actively specified otherwise (for example: Chammy Wamboo).

2. The fight must be one on one so no outside help is allowed, but prep time is allowed.

3. The rule for prep time is that if one contestant gets prep time, the other contestant gets an equal amount of prep time as well.

[Masterpost]

Information about both contestants (who they are, powers and abilities, etc) can be found under the cut.

Contestant Stats:

Sizz-Lorr:

“Frylord of Foodcourtia”

Appearances:

Sizz-Lorr appears in the episode “The Frycook What Came From All That Space” and makes a cameo appearance in “Dookie Loop Horror”

Powers and abilities:

Irken physiology (can lift over 3 times their body weight and is extremely durable)

Large Size (Irkens can lift over three times their body weight. Sizz-Lorr is way bigger and therefore heavier than most other Irkens, so he can lift WAY more as well)

Extreme agility (Sizz-Lorr is extremely agile, leading from moving cab to moving cab in his race to catch Zim)

PAK (PAK legs, PAK lasers, shield generator, all the things an Irken PAK can do)

Jet-PAK (Sizz-Lorr’s PAK contains a unique jetpack function that is powerful enough to fully fly in the atmosphere of a planet)

Shock Spear (Sizz-Lorr owns and is seen using a giant spatula with all the same abilities and features as a shock spear, so for all intents and purposes it’s the same thing. Sizz-Lorr’s Shock Spatula is capable of discharging energy to attack things, and is strong enough to cut through the hull of a small spaceship)

Fun Fact:

According to the wiki, Sizz-Lorr’s name is a reference to the Sizzler restaurant chain.

Sergeant Hobo 678:

“Welcome to the Holding Pen Of PAIN!”

Appearances:

Sergeant Hobo 678 appears in the episode “Hobo 13” and has a cameo appearance in Dookie Loop Horror

Powers and Abilities:

Extreme Strength (Sergeant Hobo 678 is shown to be extremely strong)

Extreme Military Training (Sergeant Hobo 678 is a trainer for hire for many, MANY soldiers of various races, and it goes without saying that he’s EXTREMELY experienced when it comes to fighting and military stuff in general)

Mechanical Arm (Sergeant Hobo 678’s right arm is mechanical, and he regularly uses it in combat as a sort of grappling hook and ranged weapon. The arm can stretch extremely far and can be used in a move where Sergeant Hobo 678 extends his arm underneath the ground and towards his opponent to grab at them from below)

Jet Boots (Sergeant Hobo 678’s boots contain rockets and can be used to fly)

Fun Fact:

There are at least 677 other Hobos.

Additional Thoughts:

Now THIS is a fight. Both characters are roughly the same size, are both shown and implied to be extremely strong and athletic, both have mechanical parts with special abilities (Sizz-Lorr’s PAK and Hobo 678’s retractable arm) and both can fly.

[libraryresources]

Wikispaces: Youth Services Librarianship - Programming in Public Libraries

(Last revision: 2011-2013)

[By the time you see this, Wikispaces will have shut down due to financial troubles. This transcription (July 2018) is my attempt to preserve professional knowledge for the youth library field, until such a time that a new, updated resource becomes available! c: ]

Overview

Without programming in public libraries, the libraries would have less users (never being able to draw in new users), which would also mean less circulation, and they may even be less likely to be seen as an essential contributor in community involvement. Furthermore, if libraries are not seen as essential in their community, then they will receive less funding and support from government, children's, or educational organizations or the community itself. Therefore, without support of the community, there library may cease to exist.

To the library itself, programming is important because it can draw in users to the library who were not users in the first place, which then can increase circulation or even support for the library. Socially, the programming helps keep children and teens interested who already go to the library, and can show them that the library can be a fun and exciting place to hang out. Culturally, programming can be important because it can help users develop an appreciation of the different cultures within their community. Overall, the library can help serve the community by meeting health, educational, informational, or other needs.

Programming is a key factor to demonstrate to the community that the library cares about its users, and wants to meet their needs and show children that the library is a safe, fun environment where children can develop their minds through reading and exploration.

Best Practices

The American Library Association provides a list programming aspects it examines when it selects the winner of the annual ALA Excellence in Library Programming Award. This list requires that the program not only be high quality, but well planned, budgeted, and evaluated and that it fits a need in its community. These requirements double as a check list for any librarian planning a program:

“Clear statement of organization goals and objective

"Clear statement of the link between library objectives and community impact

"Identifying the audience for the project and developing a program directed at that audience.

"Documenting the need for the program, was the need well-defined

"The quality of the design of the program.

"The clearness of the action plan and calendar

"Whether the needed resources were available (including staff) to make the program a success.

"Whether the budget is adequate and reasonable for the program.

"Whether appropriate evaluation methods are being used.

"Additional areas that may be considered: the importance of the problem addressed; the seriousness of the proposal to the library's needs; whether the program improved delivery of services to user.”

From the ALA Excellence in Library Programming Award Application Guidelines (2012)

Additionally, the Association of Library Services to Children includes programming skills as one of its nine Competencies for Librarians Serving Children in Public Libraries. In addition to the marks of quality that the ALA awards committee searches for, the list competencies emphasize programming for children, parents, and caregivers and providing outreach and programming to frequently ignored and high need groups of children. It divides this competency into five basic points:

“Designs, promotes, presents, and evaluates a variety of programs for children of all ages, based on their developmental needs and interests and the goals of the library.

"Identifies and utilizes skilled resource people to present programs and information.

"Provides library outreach programs which meet community needs and library goals and objectives.

"Establishes programs and services for parents, individuals and agencies providing childcare, and other professionals in the community who work with children.

"Promotes library programs and services to underserved children and families.”

From the Competencies for Librarians Serving Children in Public Libraries (ALSC Education Committee, 2009)

For teens, the Young Adult Library Service Association touches on programming in their Competencies for Librarians Serving Youth under the Services area of competency. The three main points that they emphasize are that librarians should be capable of implementing and evaluating programs, should involve teens in planning programs, and should be aware of pop-culture and incorporate it into programs (Young Adult Library Services Association, 2010).

Important Terms

National Center for Education Statistics - This center is devoted to fulfilling a Congressional mandate to collect, analyze, and provide statistics on the condition of American Education so that government officials, federal agencies, state education agencies, educational organizations can use the information to support their own research or projects (NCES).

Anime - A Japanese style of animation that is highly stylized with colorful art, exaggerated poses, emotions, and even violence ( although a lot of the violence is slapstick in nature for younger audiences).

Programming - What Works

Programming for School Age Children

Lego Clubs - These clubs tend to be very popular in public libraries, especially with boys. Although having a Lego club doesn't seem to be as reading-oriented, it allows for boys to use their imagination's to create spaceships, castles, houses or whatever they can think of. Kids like these kind of programs because they have freedom to create whatever they want and even get to see their work displayed in their own libraries.

Battle of the Books (Quiz bowl) - In teams of six students, students will go head to head to battle each other in a jeopardy game of book knowledge. One student from each team at a time will have 30 seconds to provide an author's name, book title, or character name to answer question about a book. The winners will battle the other group of winners and so on until there is a champion team (Milton Public Library).

Programming for Teens

Craft Clubs - These clubs tend to attract girls more than boys, but everyone is welcome to attend. Craft club activities can range from making origami, to scrapbooking, to even creating mini books..

Anime Clubs or Graphic Novels - see Programming with Graphic Novels and Anime.

Cultural Programming

Cultural programming is important in a public library because it can make a minority group feel important and truly welcomed in the library. It can especially help minority children connect with other children within their own ethnicity or it can help children who are not a minority to open up their experience to other cultures and become appreciative of other cultures.

Latino/Latina

Silk Screen T-Shirt design:

At Arizona's Phoenix Public Library, silk screen t-shirt designs became a successful program for Latino children, because the YA staff hired a Latino artist who would perform hands-on workshops, teaching the kids to make t-shirts that represented some part of their Latino culture (Naidoo and Vargas 14).

Programming with Graphic Novels and Anime

In addition to utilizing more "traditional" young adult collections when programming, programming ideas also abound when considering using graphic novels and anime. These are some of the more popular genres being included in teen sections in public libraries, and it only seems natural to start creating programming around these unique collections. This section will expand a bit more on the Comics, Manga, and Graphic Novels section of the wiki, as well as including ideas involving anime titles. [Transcriber note: Page was not selected for transcription as it felt significantly outdated. I will provide links to more recent resources at a later date.]

Active vs. Passive Programming

As with all programming ideas, the level of involvement for library staff can vary depending on the program itself. For graphic novels and anime, there are a number of programming ideas that fall into both categories, giving librarians and paraprofessionals options when concerns like staff time, resources, and budget might stand in the way.

Active Programs

Some examples include:

Anime Screenings/Anime Festivals

Many graphic novels have counterparts in film, and screening these programs can be an easy way to get teens interested in reading certain titles. Anime programming is great to show in libraries because "[s]ome anime companies, most notably Funimation, have 'anime club' programs that will send libraries free screening DVDs" (Fletcher-Spear and Jenson-Benjamin 119). Additionally, many of the companies that will charge for a fee will be under the blanketed film license, like Disney (119). Though Fletcher-Spear and Jenson-Benjamin focus mainly on anime and manga, this can also be done with titles like Batman: The Animated Series and other superhero cartoons that have roots in comics.

Costume or Cosplay Parties

Cosplaying, which is "fan speak for costume contests" (120), allow teens to test their creative skills by dressing up as their favorite graphic novel character. Teens can vote among one another for Most Creative, Most "Realistic," etc. These parties can also carry themes of their own to go along with many of the graphic novel titles available, such as "Ninjas v. Pirates v. Zombies" and "Curses!," which features graphic novels with cursed characters (121).

Comic Book Trivia Nights

Trivia is an easy way to test teens' knowledge about any and all graphic novels and can be integrated into other larger programs or stand alone as a Jeopardy!-style program. Questions can span manga to traditional comics and even graphic novel works, meaning that questions should never be hard to come by.

Author or Artist Visits

Local and national authors and artists can speak on a variety of topics revolving around graphic novels and anime, as well as potentially teaching some workshops for teens. As with the trivia nights, these can be stand-alone programs if the authors are local, or can be part of larger programming if a "bigger" author or artist comes to visit. They could potentially do how-to-draw sessions, give advice on getting in the business, and hold Q&A sessions for the teens.

Create Your Own Comic Book

This program can be as simple as providing teens with the materials to make their own comics, such as paper and colored pencils, or could be integrated into a larger program "if partnered with a guest presenter on the topic" (124). Books on how-to-draw manga, comics, and graphic novels abound and may be helpful additions to the library's collection.

Graphic Novel Discussions

These can be similar to book clubs, where teens read the same title and then come together to discuss it, or perhaps done in a way which teens each read their own title then meet and booktalk their titles to one another, exposing teens to more than just one title at a time and giving them the opportunity to see what other titles are out there. This is a good opportunity to teach teens how to properly booktalk a book without revealing spoilers (125).

Mini-con

An anime and graphic novel conference on a much smaller scale, libraries can ask local vendors to set up shop to offer their wares. Mini-cons can also include some of the previously listed program ideas, like cosplay parties and author or artist visits, as well as some of the passive programs listed below. It's important to remember that "mini-cons are not for the faint of heart, as they are time-consuming to plan and can attract large crowds" (126). Only take on this programming if you have the appropriate funding and staff time to make it worthwhile and successful.

Passive Programs

Some examples include:

Character Design Contest

Falling in line with creating their own comic book, teens can create their own character and judge one another's creations in separate categories. It may be a good idea to hold this program before diving into the "Create Your Own Comic Book" program to give teens a chance to test their artistic abilities.

Displays

These can be done at any time, displaying teens' works throughout the year that has been done at some of the programming mentioned earlier, easily giving teens a sense of pride in their creations. Additionally, displays can be created using old graphic novels and manga that need to be thrown away, giving them second life (127).

Name that Character Contest

Teens' knowledge can be tested by creating a board of graphic novel characters and asking teens to fill out an answer sheet provided. Prizes can be awarded to whoever guesses the most correct answers. Variations of this include famous graphic novel couples and asking teens to pair them up with their significant other, or asking who is behind a famous masked character (128).

Superhero Death Match

A survey that is purely subjective, teens get to vote who would win in a battle between characters from two graphic novels (128). Battles can span genres and abilities, creating some interesting matchups for teens to vote for. If answers are provided in a March Madness-style bracket, teens can track and check up on their favorites and predict who will win overall.

Trivia Web Hunt

This can be as simple as placing question sheets next to the computer terminals in the teen section and asking teens to search for the correct answers. Prizes can be given either for the most number of correct answers or, since they will be researching them and it's possible that many of them will get all of them correct, prizes can be given for completion.

(All names for active and passive programming courtesy of Fletcher-Spear and Jenson-Benjamin.)

Digitally Enhanced Programming

With the increased use of digital media and social networking libraries must adapt to these new resources or risk becoming irrelevant. Herr-Stephenson et al. (2011) divide digital media in libraries into three separate categories, digital media as content, meaning the digital materials that a library circulates like e-books, digital audiobooks, e-readers, etc., digital media as outreach, like providing internet access and instruction for under privileged communities, and digital media as hook, such as offering appealing, cutting edge digital programs to attract teens into the library and improve library image. All of these uses for digital media can be incorporated into programming with ideas like inside the e-book discussions, digital video how-to workshops, and creating Facebook events to advertise programs. For the purpose of this article we will discuss ways to use digital resources to enhance or increase accessibility to non-digital programs that already exist. For programs that center on the technology itself, see technology programming.

For teens and youth that have a hard time making it into the library, such as those in spread out rural areas or for whom driving age or cost of transportation may be a concern, digital programming is a way to get them involved without actually requiring them to be at the library. It can also be used to extend programs outside of their designated meeting times and supplement traditional programming formats. And for all teens it can be a lesson in the appropriate use of and etiquette for technology and social networking.

If your library has funding to purchase e-readers or tablets to loan out to patrons then you may be able to have an e-reader book club and teen collection advisory, like Pam Harland’s book club in her article The High School Book Club- Now with Kindles! (2010). For libraries without these funds, incorporating technology and social media can still be a feasible and low cost option. These programs can be real time or not and many require only a computer with internet access. For those teens without home internet access, check to see if the websites you’re using can be accessed from school computers. Some programming ideas:

Google hang-outs

These are great for real time, face to face programs like a traditional book club discussion. One exciting perk is that you can easily invite guests from anywhere in the world, so check to see if the author of that month’s book or a related subject expert would be willing to speak for part of the meeting. The downside is that it requires participants to log in at a specific time and that they must have a strong enough internet connection to support the video feed. It also works best if the participants have their own cameras and microphones.

YouTube live stream

These are great for less participatory programming, like story-times or lectures. Though there is a chat feature that can be used for questions, be aware that with a large amount of guests it can slow down some internet connections and make it difficult for some to participate. After the stream, there is the option to save the recording and leave it on the library’s YouTube page to watch later, but if you choose this, be sure that there is no copyrighted material in your program and that everyone videotaped has agreed.

Goodreads and Facebook

These allow for discussions that can take place over the course of the month and can continue indefinitely, which makes them great supplements to a traditional book club as well. They are also great places to share relevant links. Either website will allow you to create a group for your specific program, but Goodreads has the advantage of being particularly book-centric and can also allow your library to display collection high lights and publish reviews. Goodreads may also be less controversial as it does not offer as many opportunities for sharing of inappropriate personal information and is less likely to be blocked on school computers. However, Facebook is better known and learning appropriate social networking behavior can be just as important as the content of the program.

Subtext

An app for the Apple iPad, subtext allows readers to share notes and have a discussion of a book inside the text of the book while they are reading. This is great for patrons who are short on time as it can be done while reading. It can also be more candid as it does not require participants to hold on to their thoughts for several weeks until the meeting. It is noteworthy that this is a high cost option, as each participant must have an iPad and a digital copy of the book being discussed.

Twitter

Twitter can be used to do a guest Q & A session, many publishers arrange for their authors to do them, but you could arrange one for any speaker you’d like. While participation in these is in real time, the questions and responses are archived on twitter, so others can read the discussion later. They also allow patrons who are only available for a portion of the scheduled time to participate, and they require either a phone with texting or a computer with internet, but not both. Twitter can also be used as a way for teen attempt taking their creation or programming viral by tweeting about their creation or program using designated hash tags and asking others to participate.

For more creative programming ideas using technology see David Lee King and Michael Porter’s “Community Connections” article in the October/September 2012 American Libraries.

Theoretical Problems or Concerns About Programming

One main concern about programming is that it can sometimes become very expensive depending how many children/teens the program allows for, due to the cost of materials per child/teen. That is why it is always a good idea to look into grants for programming. But even grants can be hard to obtain and they can be a lot of work to write, so it is always important to research the type of grant you may need for your program.

The following link has a list of grants that may be of use to a public library, especially "Light the Way: Outreach to the Underserved" provided by ALSC, MAE Trust (promotes reading for teens), Grants for Nonprofit Youth Programs (library and arts oriented grant), Partnership for a Nation of Learners ( seeks to meet community needs) and many more grants.

See http://www.libraryworks.com/LW_Grants/GrantsCurrent.aspx

Advice for Librarians When Creating or Choosing Programs for Your Library

Don't be afraid to fail

Sometimes if a program is new to your library it may not be successful right away. Programs can be unsuccessful for many reasons, they may not be reaching the right audience, or they may not meet the needs of your community, or there could be a similar program already in your community. The most important thing a librarian can do to help make a program a success is to promote the program through marketing.

Marketing, Marketing, Marketing!

Get the word out about your program. Create posters, flyers, make a note of it on your website and get the word out when you speak to patrons at check-out. Sending out fliers at schools or even getting the word out through a library newsletter can be a good idea.

Get to know your community

Before even creating or choosing a program for a library, a librarian must do their research on the community of the library, in order to make programming decisions suitable to the the ages of the users, cultural backgrounds, socio-economic status of users, and the needs of the community. In order to do so a librarian can study the demographics in their community through websites like the National Center for Education Statistics.

-Under "Data Tools" and "State/District Profiles, Comparisons and Mapping", a librarian can take a look at the "School District Demographics System Map," which will map out the different types of races or ethnicities, population, and housing in that community. See http://nces.ed.gov/surveys/sdds/ed/index.asp

Resources

American Library Association Cultural Communities Fund. (2012). ALA excellence in library programming award application guidelines. Retrieved from http://www.ala.org/programming/sites/ala.org.programming/files/content/2013%20Programming%20Excellence%20application%20guidelines%20and%20eligibility_FINAL_Sep2012x.pdf

Association of Library Services to Children Education Committee. (2009). Competencies for librarians serving children in public libraries. Retrieved from http://www.ala.org/alsc/edcareeers/alsccorecomps

Fletcher-Spear, Kristin, and Merideth Jenson-Benjamin. Library Collections for Teens: Manga and Graphic Novels. Bowie, MD: E L Kurdyla, 2011. Print.

Harland, P. (2010). The high school book club- now with kindles!. Teacher Librarian, 37(5), 57-59.

Herr-Stephenson, B, Rhoten, D., Perkel, D., & Sims, C. (2011) Digital media and technology in afterschool programs, libraries, and museums. Cambridge, Mass.: The MIT Press.

King, D., & Porter, M. (2012). Community connections. American Libraries, 43(9/10), 49.

Kunzel, B., & Hardesty, C. (2006). The teen-centered book club: readers into leaders. Westport, Conn.: Libraries Unlimited.

Library Works. 28 Nov. 2012 http://www.libraryworks.com/LW_Grants/GrantsCurrent.aspx

Milton Public Library. (2012). 28 Nov. 2012 <http://www.mpl.on.ca/childprograms.php>.

Naidoo, Jamie Campbell and Vargas, Luis Francisco. "Libraries Bridging The Borderlands Reaching Latino Tweens And Teens With Targeted Programming And Collections." Young Adult Library Services 9.4 (2011): 13-20. Library, Information Science & Technology Abstracts. Web. 27 Nov. 2012.

National Center for Education Statistics. School District Demographics System.​ 25 Nov. 2012. <http://nces.ed.gov/surveys/sdds/ed/index.asp>

Young Adult Library Services Association. (2010). YALSA’s competencies for librarians serving youth: Young adults deserve the best. Retrieved from http://www.ala.org/yalsa/guidelines/yacompetencies2010

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