#spade's tomfoolery

[spadesandstars]

guys i think i like men

[fingerless-glovez]

Just a bunch of dudes being bros

[dotster001]

How they get you under the Mistletoe

Summary: Twst NRC students x gn! reader. How they get you under the Mistletoe.

A/N: Merry Christmas if you celebrate that! If not, happy holidays! I was gonna do the staff too for this, but it got so long 😂 if people enjoy this, I can do the staff and RSA/Noble bell.

The Long awaited Part Two

Ace Trappola

You have no idea until it's too late.

You had to admit, despite the strict rulebook she made, the queen of hearts knew how to throw a holiday party. You were finishing off a glass of the best sparkling cider you'd ever had when you felt an arm around your waist.

You turned to see Ace, just in time for him to lightly punch your shoulder as he told some random student, "And this one? You shoulda seen them, they really whipped our asses into shape."

"You're exaggerating," Deuce pouted from next to him.

"Am not," Ace said. He pushed you slightly forward and gestured to you.

"You wouldn't know it by looking at them, but our beloved Y/N can be a hard ass."

He took a step forward, and whispered, "Huh. Would you look at that prefect. It appears we are under the mistletoe."

You wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face, but it was too late. His lips were already on yours.

The world around you faded, and for a moment it was just you and him. Then you were brought back to reality by …

"Ew, Ace," Deuce groaned, and walked away, as did the other Heartslaybul student.

You were about to follow after them to apologize for Ace's tomfoolery, when he grabbed your wrist and whispered, "Hey, we're still under the mistletoe. Can't wreck tradition, now can we?"

Deuce Spade

You were setting up decorations together

First years were in charge of setting up the decor for the Heartslaybul holiday party. Ace and Deuce had of course come begging on their hands and knees for you and Grim to come help.

You'd decided it would save time if you split the work, so Ace and Grim were working on the upstairs hall decor, while you and Deuce were working on the common room.

You were on a shaky ladder trying to hang up some garland and mistletoe, when Deuce panicked and held your ladder still.

"I feel better knowing that I'm holding the ladder still for you," he said, looking up at you nervously.

You nodded, and finished hanging the things, before climbing down (sort of) into his waiting arms. You were about to say you were okay, when you noticed his reddened cheeks, and his eyes flicking between the mistletoe and your lips.

Knowing Deuce as long as you had, you knew you'd have to initiate the thing he clearly wanted. You pressed a quick peck to his lips.

His eyes widened, then darkened as he smiled mischievously. He grabbed your face and kissed you fervently until Grim came through hoping to escape, and screamed.

Riddle Rosehearts

You have to follow the rules.

Riddle had been acting funny the entirety of the party. He'd been quiet, and his face was a bright red, but you figured he was probably tired from exams, and/or stressed about returning home for the break.

It was nearing the end of the party, when he suddenly approached you with a stern frown on his face.

"I know you aren't a member of Heartslaybul, but remember, when you are in my kingdom, you have to follow my rules."

"Why yes, your majesty, of course," you gave a mock curtsy. "And now I'm sure you're gonna tell me what rule I broke?"

He scowled before he turned away.

"Rule 533, the queen and their beloved must share a kiss under the mistletoe, if the holiday is being celebrated under a full moon."

"I'm your beloved?" You couldn't decide whether to tease him, or flush yourself. But this whole thing was very vulnerable of him, and your heart was melting.

"Yes" he whispered. "Now are you going to follow me to mistletoe, or do I have to punish you?"

You gave a fake sigh, "Lead the way, your majesty."

He led you under the mistletoe, and gave you a chaste kiss.

"That's it?" You scoffed.

"What do you mean that's…"

You cut him off with a deep kiss, that he reciprocated incredibly quickly.

When you pulled away, it hit you.

"Wait, isn't it a crescent moon tonight?"

His eyes widened at being caught, and he said the first thing that came to his otherwise empty brain.

"Off with your head!"

Trey Clover

A quiet (orchestrated) moment alone

You were helping Trey with the baking for the party. Knowing Heartslaybul, the party itself was going to be raucous, so having some time to just chill with Trey was nice.

Once everything was in the oven, you began trying to clean up some of the clutter.

"There's no need to do that right now," he said with a soft smile. He took a seat and patted the chair next to him.

"Come sit for a moment, just relax," he hummed before crossing his arms behind his head, closing his eyes, and leaning back.

You took the seat next to him, and did your best to find a comfortable position before sighing.

"I'm not an old man like you. I can't just sleep anywhere."

He opened his eyes and cocked an eyebrow.

"Old man?"

"Yeah, let's face it Trey. You're an old man in a college kid's body."

He smiled mischievously. "That so?"

He pulled out some mistletoe he'd been holding on to and held it above your head, using his other hand to seductively caress your jaw.

"Well, ya gonna give this old man a kiss?"

"That came out weird," You said with a laugh.

"I know, I heard it after I said it," he winced. "Still…"

He leaned in even closer.

"Part of that question still stands," he whispered.

Before you could tease him with a "which part", he was kissing you like he was starving, and you were his last meal.

Cater Diamond

Doing an innocent trend

Being the token non magic student at NRC, Cater knew you were a gold mine for content. You'd become a frequent guest on Cater's magicam, and a popular one at that.

So when Cater had told you before the party that he would need you for a trend later, you didn't think too much about it.

Now he was dragging you off somewhere, giggling over his shoulder as you spilled your drink, or tripped on a stray student. You figured you'd pay him back later.

He stopped abruptly, and told you to stay put as he set up his camera. You had ten seconds once he started the camera to get set, so he always filled you in while he set up any filters or sound bites he wanted.

"Kay, so you're under mistletoe right? So the trend is to kiss your bestie's cheeks under the mistletoe, then hug. All you gotta do is stand there and look fabulous, until the hug part."

It sounded like a pretty boring trend to you. But, whatever, that's why Cater was in charge. He finished set up, pressed the button, and the ten seconds timer started. He ran back over to you, gave you a reassuring, "ready?", And then kissed your cheek on the far side to the camera as the video started.

He kissed your other cheek, and you began to move closer for the hug, when his arms were around you, and he was kissing you.

He took a step back, and took in your appearance, which was flustered and shocked. Your jaw was dropped so far you were certain it was on the floor. And your heart, oh God your heart, you were worried it was beating way too fast.

The set time of the video ended, and Cater practically skipped over to his phone, where he checked the video, added some effects, put in some tags, and posted it.

All you could do was watch him the entire time, words completely gone from your brain.

After the video posted, he put his phone back in his pocket and gave you a smug grin.

"I tagged you in it," he said, eyes looking softer than usual as he pointed to the pocket you kept your phone in.

You pulled it out, and looked at the video you were tagged in.

"Kissing my crush under the mistletoe to see how they'll react."

Leona Kingscholar

It was an accident, but he's not complaining.

Ruggie had asked you to bring Leona the food plate he'd asked for, since he was trying to put as much food in Tupperware as he could before the Savannaclaw party finished. You were a good pal, so you agreed, knowing full well that the second the plate was secure, and you were in arms reach, you would become a nap buddy.

But you weren't complaining. Even though Savannaclaw was hot, it still felt nice to cuddle with a heater during the holidays. For the vibes, of course.

Just as predicted, he opened a single eye, had you set down the plate, and suddenly, you were a little spoon.

"Thanks herbivore," he hummed half heartedly as he nuzzled into your neck.

You were finally starting to drift off, when you were flipped on your back, and he was hovering above you. His eyes were lit up with mischief as he looked down at you like the prey you were beginning to realize you were.

"I guess my nap spot just happens to be under the mistletoe. You'll indulge me, right herbivore?"

Then his lips were on your neck, your jaw, your cheek, but never your lips, until you whined at him to stop teasing you.

He laughed lowly, and whispered, "As you wish." And finally gave you what you wanted.

Ruggie Bucchi

If you don't know how he does it, hi, you must be new. Welcome to the fandom 😂

"Laugh with me," he whispered, and before you could cuss him out for being a prick, he was already giggling and walking you both over to the mistletoe that you'd seen a Savannaclaw student and his Octavinelle boyfriend making out under an hour ago.

When you both stopped under it, he gasped in mock surprise.

"My my my, what have we here? It appears we've been caught under the mistletoe!" He said, as his grin turned sneakier and sneakier now that he was certain he'd won.

His tail was wagging at a mile a minute as you "reluctantly" puckered your lips out to him. He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, and you thought it was over.

But Ruggie is an opportunist.

Hours of making out later, you finally pried yourself from Ruggie's embrace, but only on the promise that you would bring back some hot chocolate to share.

Jack Howl

You'll have to initiate.

The entirety of the party, you'd seen Jack's eyes flicker to the mistletoe, over to you, and then down to the floor in embarrassment.

He'd made sure neither of you wandered over in that direction, and if you asked him if something was wrong, his cheeks would darken.

Naturally, because this was Savannaclaw, you, Ruggie and Jack were the only ones there for party cleanup.

You subtly made eye contact with Ruggie and nodded towards the mistletoe, then towards Jack.

Ruggie grinned and made a gesture for money with his hands. You rolled your eyes and nodded, and he smiled.

"We're out of garbage bags, I'll be right back guys," Ruggie said before leaving the room.

Jack started to follow after him, and you grabbed his arm.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"We have trash bags right here," he nodded at the obvious box of trash bags, and you cursed Ruggie in your head.

"He's just giving us privacy, come over here," you did your best to pull him over to the mistletoe, but he was made out of stone.

"Why?"

"Gah! Just trust me!"

He frowned, but allowed you to pull him over. Once you were under the mistletoe, his tail started wagging like a fan, but his eyes couldn't meet yours.

You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, until he sighed, and relaxed.

It was over far too soon, but you knew Jack would probably explode if you overdid it. And you'd rather not have that happen.

What surprised you, though, was how you were suddenly engulfed in his arms, as he buried his face in your hair, and held you close.

Azul Ashengrotto

His wingmen are simultaneously the worst and the best.

The Monstro Lounge was having a winter themed night. Azul may or may not have been planning with the tweels how he was going to effortlessly get you under the mistletoe.

You arrived, as planned, with Grim, and had taken a seat at a table near the VIP room.

"Prefect! I apologize for interrupting your meal, but I was hoping you could look at the menu I'm thinking about for the next semester."

"Of course," you stood up and followed him to the chosen spot, but now that you were here, he was nervous to initiate. So he continued pointing out dishes on the menu until…

"Have you kissed them yet?" Floyd shouted from across the lounge.

"Yes, you see we've been keeping other students away from the mistletoe, but they are starting to get upset. I'd hurry up if I were you," Jade said at a much subtler volume.

Azul turned a bright shade of red as you looked at him.

"I…well…prefect?"

You gave him a nod, and he took a deep breath, and kissed you.

"God finally!"

"Subtly, Floyd!"

Jade Leech

You don't know until it's too late, part 2.

"There's something I'd like to show you in my room. My new terrarium has produced interesting results."

You were following Jade to his room, when you realized he was no longer walking with you. You turned around and saw him furrowing his brow at his phone, and typing something.

You walked back over to him to ask what was wrong, and you were suddenly pulled flush against him as he gave you a smug grin.

"Looks like you've trapped me under the mistletoe," he said as though he wasn't the one who had pulled you in.

"Ah well," he sighed, with a surrendering smile, running a gloved finger along your jaw, then tilting your chin up. "if that is what you truly desire, I suppose I shall have to oblige."

Floyd Leech

You have three options.

There are three ways this can go, and it all depends on his mood.

Route 1:

Floyd had joined you in your booth and continued slouching, until he finally just laid himself in your lap.

"Floyd, there is mistletoe over there," Jade said as he dropped off the food you'd ordered.

Floyd groaned, "Shrimpy and I can just kiss over here. What's the big deal about a leaf?"

Route 2:

Floyd immediately grabbed your hand when you set foot in the Monstro Lounge. He giggled excitedly like a kid on Christmas morning.

"C'mon Shrimpy! We gotta kiss under the mistletoe!"

Whether you're flustered or not doesn't matter. Prepare for excited sloppy kisses.

Route 3:

Floyd said nothing as you entered the lounge and he just….scooped you up. Long boy was way too strong to fight off, so you just kind of let him. But that was the only way to get along with Floyd really. You just had to be along for the ride.

Once he reached where he was going, he adjusted your position so that you were pressed to him, and his hands were under your knees, and you wrapped your arms around him for more support.

"Hmmm…. I've caught myself a Shrimpy," he said lowly, but his eyes were glittering with excitement.

"Well, it's too late for you," he leaned in and nibbled your lip. "Because according to Azul and land people's traditions, that leaf above us means you have to kiss me."

Kalim al Asim

Just asks you like a normal person.

The Scarabia holiday party was hopping, obviously. You'd expected nothing less. He'd planned for everything including...

"Y/N! Let's go kiss under the mistletoe!" He said excitedly as he grabbed your hand.

He froze for a minute then looked at you sheepishly.

"Only if you want to, of course, but I'd really like to kiss you, please?"

How could you say no to those puppy eyes?

"Of cour-"

The words weren't out of your mouth when he was pulling you to the mistletoe, and excitedly kissing you all over your face, really anywhere he could reach, like his affection for you was exploding in kiss form.

Jamil Viper

A quiet moment, in private.

You knew Jamil was probably in charge of a lot for the party. He seemed particularly stressed, too, because after this he had to oversee cleanup, and then helping all the students get ready to go home for break.

So you stayed out of his way during the party, and offered to take over cleanup manager, while he helped final inspections and packing.

He finished a little before you, then helped you finish, and invited you for tea in his room. When you both had your tea, he exhaustedly flopped backwards on the bed with a groan.

"That was a lot," he sighed.

"Yeah, but you have a little break now," you said, massaging his shoulders.

He sat up with a start.

"I was supposed to kiss you!"

"Huh?"

Instead of answering, he just started fervently making out with you. Eventually, your lips were free as he held you close and kissed your neck and the rest of your face.

"What do you mean you were supposed to kiss me?"

"Under the mistletoe," he managed to get out. "It's the whole reason Kalim put the stupid thing there."

Vil Schoenheit

He just asks (pt 2) He's not an animal, potato.

The holiday party was a formal affair in the Pomefiore dorm. Vil was seated in his throne, with Rook standing by his side, as his potatoes mingled. His eyes were on a single potato. You.

At length, Rook gave a laugh.

"Roi du poison, just go kiss them. You know you want to."

Vil sighed, and gave a glare to Rook, but it was too late. He was already calling you over to the throne.

You arrived and gave a mock bow.

"Your highness," you said with a grin. "You called?"

"Yes," since you were going to act like a smart ass, he'd play with you a little. "I'd like you to join me under the mistletoe, if you'd be so kind."

Your jaw dropped, and you looked like a blubbering fish. He smiled to himself, and stood up from the throne, gracefully taking your arm and walking to the mistletoe.

He tilted your head up with a single finger and smugly asked, "Well?"

You gave a vigorous nod. He laughed and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

Then he just walked away.

Always leave your audience wanting more.

Rook Hunt

Everything seems normal-WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?

He must have been hiding nearby. Waiting for you. A part of you was chiding yourself for not knowing.

You had intended to walk past the mistletoe into the kitchen, where you would get some more snacks. No one had been around. You were certain.

Rook dropped from the sky just as you stepped under the mistletoe.

"What the fuck!" You shouted, but he was simply giggling, and wrapping his arms around you, trapping your arms to your sides.

"You let your guard down, Mon Trickster."

"Yeah, that's on me," you sighed.

"Is the prey surrendering?" He laughed out in amusement.

You gave an experimental wiggle, then sighed .

"Yeah, looks like it."

He leaned in and spoke against your lips, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine.

"Then I'll take my prize now."

Epel Felmier

Thinks it's stupid…until it's not.

"Kissin' under the mistletoe is a stupid tradition," Epel said for the fifth time in an hour. But this was the first time you'd heard it. You'd been elsewhere all day. But he'd said it to literally everybody else.

"Yeah, it kind of is," you laughed back, and his frown deepened.

"W-well, it's not that stupid," Epel said.

"Sure it is, I mean who even came up with it?"

"It's not stupid! I'll prove it to ya!"

He grabbed your wrist and dragged you off under the mistletoe, and kissed you hard.

"See? Not stupid," he said smugly. Until he realized what he'd just done. Then his face turned a bright red.

"Fuck," he muttered. " 'S a stupid tradition."

Idia Shroud

Lmao not happening.

He'll die before he goes to the holiday party. And he'll die before he participates in such a stupid normie tradition.

Sorry Idia simps, but you know I'm right.

Malleus Draconia

Over prepares.

Whoever was in charge of decorating….had definitely overdone it.

The ceiling was covered in mistletoe. You couldn't go more than a couple steps without finding yourself under another sprig.

"Child of man, are you enjoying your festivities?" Malleus suddenly boomed from behind you.

"For sure!" You turned to face him with a smile. "Thanks for inviting me!"

Malleus smiles for a moment, then releases the fakest gasp you've ever heard.

"Child of man! It appears we are under the mistletoe!"

You look at the multitudes of mistletoe on the ceiling, and laugh, "I think it'd be weirder if we weren't under the mistletoe."

He furrows his brow and pouts. "Lilia told me about the human holiday tradition where you must kiss if you are under the mistletoe."

Oh.

OH!

You felt your cheeks warm as you put two and two together.

"O-okay, if you want a kiss then-"

His lips are on yours immediately, his hands in your hair and on your back, like if he stops moving them you'll be able to escape his grip.

He pulls away and licks his lips seductively.

"There, we have not broken tradition."

You both walk a couple of steps, then…

"*Fake gasp* Child of man! We are under the mistletoe yet again!"

Lilia Vanrouge

Hijinks and mischiefs.

You have no idea how you ended up under the mistletoe with Lilia. But now he was floating around you in circles, tapping his chin thoughtfully with a satisfied smirk.

"Now what do I do with you, little human? It appears you have fallen in a trap set by the very crafty Lilia Vanrouge."

You felt his breath on the back of your neck, as he hovered close behind you, but not close enough to actually touch.

"I suppose I could let you go."

He whispered.

Then his breath was on your right ear.

"Or I could trap you here forever so that you have to kiss me whenever I want."

He floated in front of you and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Why it hadn't occurred to you to just leave him there, you had no idea. But with all the hovering and breathing on your skin, you thought you would lose your mind if he didn't kiss you soon.

He hummed to himself, then tilted his head and leaned in close. As his lips were about to brush against yours, he abruptly shifted up and pressed a quick peck to the tip of your nose.

Then he grinned and flew away.

Cheeky bastard.

Silver

A goodnight kiss.

Silver had fallen asleep halfway through the party. He'd woken up at the end, when you were about to leave. He knew it had been snowing, so he'd offered to walk you back to Ramshackle.

As you reached the door, Silver found himself taken with how beautiful you looked surrounded by the snow. Your eyes glinting from the cold, your hair shining with the glitter of snowflakes. Truly radiant.

"Wait," he said softly as you turned the handle.

You turned back to him and raised an eyebrow. He walked closer, and took your hands in his, rubbing his chilly nose against yours affectionately.

"I don't know if I'll get to see you again before break is over," he whispered. You leaned the rest of the way in and softly kissed him, before slowly pulling away and stepping inside.

"Goodnight Silver," you whispered, and he swore he'd never been more awake than that moment.

Sebek Zigvolt

It's stupid until it isn't (pt 2)

"Y/N keeps walking very close to that mistletoe. Dangerously close," Lilia whispered to Sebek.

"So?" Sebek asked, as though he hadn't been watching you do this for the last half hour while you talked to some random second year in his dorm.

"It looks almost like Donovan is doing it on purpose," Lilia said with a smirk, nodding at the second year in question. At a second glance, Sebek saw Lilia was right. It looked like he was trying to back you into it.

Sebek scowled. "It doesn't matter. It's a silly human tradition of little substance."

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard you laugh loudly at something Donovan had said.

Without a word he marched over to you.

"Human!"

"Oh, hey Sebek!" You turned with a smile. "What's-"

He wrapped a single arm around your waist, and pulled you close as he kissed you under the mistletoe.

He kept the arm around your waist as he turned to Donovan, who had a rather ugly scowl on his face.

"EXCUSE ME DONOVAN, MY HUMAN AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSATION IN THE HALLWAY CLOSET!" Sebek said, louder than even he intended. But your flustered expression, and Donovan's rage, as he walked you to the hallway, made it all worth it.

....

Tag list- @lleoll @shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0

[v3x-y0urs3lf]

My riparian woodworks headcanons as someone who has literally never worked a day in his life ✌️

Gage and ‘Newbie’ weren’t always troublemakers or anything. I think it’s just a general thing that with time people get more comfortable joking around with each other.

I think for Gage he probably saw Law and Desmond being natural childhood friends and playing into a bit of tomfoolery, saw that his boss did in fact have a funny bone and started to seep into his natural ‘annoying’ personality.

Okay. I may or may not be drunk but I swear I remembered Newbie and Gage calling Desmond daddy.. and if Desmond’s daddy then Law is uncle. Neo’s that one cousin you only see during important holidays like Christmas and Birthday’s and half the time you don’t even realise he’s there, Gage is either the drunk uncle or he’s the annoying more cousin.

Someone has called Law ‘Dad’. Whether it was accidental, on purpose, completely serious or joking. Someone has called him dad.. I haven’t watched enough Law vids to give him a reaction.

There isn’t a ‘favourite child’ or anything (don’t think there would be mainly because they’re all adults.) but Neo seems like a goody two-shoes.. Which isn’t true but I feel like he is trying very hard to be on a ‘path of redemption’. (For those who know - I’m thinking Quest from BloomingPanic and Deuce Spade from Twst)

I wanted to include Nat somewhere in here, I don’t think Law’s been in that desperate of a position where he needed to bring her into work. If he genuinely didn’t have anyone to watch her then I feel like Desmond would just give him the day off.. That’s not to say that he hasn’t brought Nat in when he’s off shift though. I totally think that if none of them have seen pictures of Nat, they’ve met her.

And on the VERY off chance that Nat DID accompany Law during a work day, then Law is in the office doing paperwork or Neo (Desmond?) are watching her in the back. There is no way anyone is letting her wander into the back with all the actual woodworking stuff.

I wanted to mention 4/5 of them being Attuned but I don’t think anyone would necessarily tease Gage just for that.. I just think it’s a neat fact and makes me smile.

Oh but Imagine just how lucky it is that all of them are for at least all of them knowing about the attuned. I briefly brought it up earlier but they’re all adults, I don’t think they’d have any magical ‘accidents’ like Nat or Robin(?) and I’m not even sure if they all know that they’re all aware of the attuned.

Obviously from Gage’s audio about ‘coming out’ and Neo’s audio about being sick they are aware of

1. Neo is a shifter (Gage)

2. Desmond is a shifter (Neo)

And there’s obviously Desmond who more than likely knows that Law is attuned (and Vice Versa for Law.) AND there’s Desmond’s audio where it mentions that HE knows that Newbie is also attuned. (I’m like 60% sure he mentions that Law is a sorcerer to Newbie so.. maybe throw Newbie into that pile too.) So at least one person from the shop knows that SOMEONE know’s that they are attuned.

That was a whole rant but essentially…

[darthpastry]

Incorrect Quotes of the Kingdom Pt. 3 (ft. FNaF SB)

Vanny: I invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game.

Link and Gregory: *nodding* Knife monopoly.

Vanny: .... I was actually going to hunt you for sport but now I'm interested in whatever knife monopoly is.

--------------------------------------------

Tulin: *Sneaks into house at 2am.*

Teba: *Turns in swivel chair.* "Care to tell me where you were?"

Tulin: I was... uh... with Link!

Link: *Also turns in swivel chair.* "Care to- *Keeps spinning* Teba- I can't stop the chair-

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Cassie: When I die I want Gregory to lower me into my grave so he can let me down one last time.

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*in an escape room*

Purah: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Gregory: This unmitigated poppycock?

Link: Extravagant hogwash!

Glamrock Freddy: Okay, stop.

--------------------------------------------

Link:  I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

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Zelda: *Struggling in their one-inch heels* Yeah, I don't think heels are for me.

Link: *Pointing and wearing six-inch heels* WEAK!

--------------------------------------------

Sidon: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Link: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Gregory: Forks are Stabbie Grabbies.

Tulin: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Link: Nightmares are Dreamie Screamies.

Cassie: Stamps are Lickie Stickes.

Riju: You are disappointments.

--------------------------------------------

Purah: *sets down card* Ace of Spades.

Link: *sets down Uno card* +4

Tulin: *sets down Pokémon card* Jolteon, I choose you.

Zelda: *trembling* What are we playing?

--------------------------------------------

TotK NPC 1: Link... how do I begin to describe Link?

Totk NPC 2: Link is flawless.

TotK NPC 3: I hear their hair's insured for 10,000 rupees.

TotK NPC 4: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.

TotK: NPC 5: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Link: *eating a kebab and wearing the Cece hat* "Interesting."

--------------------------------------------

Glamrock Freddy: Can I be frank with you guys?

Link: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is going to help you.

Gregory: Can I still be Gregory?

Link: Shh.... let Frank speak.

--------------------------------------------

Gregory: My old arch enemy.

Roxanne: I thought I was still your arch enemy?

Gregory: I have a life, you know.

--------------------------------------------

Zelda: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you've lost throughout your life.

Roxanne: Self-esteem, I haven't seen you in years!

Vanessa: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Paya: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Link: My moral code, is that you?

Zelda: ....

Zelda: I was just going to show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?

--------------------------------------------

Glamrock Freddy: What does... 'take out' mean?

Glamrock Chica: Food.

Glamrock Bonnie: Dating.

Roxanne: Murder.

Link: *driving by in a go-kart with Tulin and Gregory, all three wearing 8-bit sunglasses* IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

--------------------------------------------

Zelda: I love murder mysteries!

Link: *trying to impress them* I've been a suspect in at least four murder cases.

--------------------------------------------

Vanessa: *about to leave the house* Don't spend all day watching YouTube, okay?

Gregory: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!

--------------------------------------------

Link: *to all the champions* You might not know this, but I am a flawed person.

Revali: I do know that.

--------------------------------------------

*right after Link wakes up on the Great Sky Island*

Rauru: Is there something you would like to say, Link?

Link: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say!

--------------------------------------------

Link: I have a plan.

Rauru: Good! As long as we aren't breaking the law I would love to hear it.

Link: ....

Link: I no longer have a plan.

--------------------------------------------

Ganondorf: Just took a personality test and got an A+

Yunobo: I got an F...

Link: I got 'confused screaming'

Rauru: ... I got INFJ.

--------------------------------------------

Sidon: I'm not so sure you're stakeout material.

Link: I'm a chronic insomniac. I was born for this.

--------------------------------------------

*in another timeline...*

Zelda: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Sonia: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Zelda: That wasn't an ambulance. I drove you.

Sonia: But I heard a siren.

Zelda: That was King Rauru.

Rauru: Sorry, I was nervous.

--------------------------------------------

Link: We can't lose because we have this. *Points to chest*

Tulin: We have heart?

Link: What? Heart? No. We have me. I'm going to win this for us.

--------------------------------------------

Link: What type of dog is this?

Rauru: That's a tortoise.

--------------------------------------------

Gregory: How stupid do you think I am?!

Roxanne: You really want an honest answer to that?

--------------------------------------------

Ganondorf: Do you even know what an amulet is?

Link: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like ones with cheese and onions!

Zelda: Link, those are omlettes.

Link: Oh. Then I got nothing.

--------------------------------------------

Rauru: Did you just refer to a knife as a... people-opener?

Link: Mayhaps...

Link: Should I not have?

--------------------------------------------

Cassie: *reading a letter*

Gregory: Well, what does it say?

Cassie: It's a confession letter. It turns out Mimic killed my pet rock.

--------------------------------------------

Gregory: The results are in. I'm afraid you have updog.

Riju: What's updog?

Gregory: Tulin, Link, get in here! I told you I could do it!

--------------------------------------------

Gregory: Never gonna make you cry!

Tulin: Never gonna say goodbye!

Link: Never gonna tell a lie-

Roxanne: I will hurt you.

--------------------------------------------

Link: My pockets jingle with stolen buttons from Hot Topic. I literally cannot stop stealing those buttons. I don't feel like paying three dollars for a piece of tin with pusheen on it, but I do feel like a heist.

Ganondorf: This feels like the kind of thing you overhear when the person next to you on the bus is having a very heated phone call.

--------------------------------------------

Tulin: A spoon is just a small bowl on a stick that you use to eat from a larger bowl.

Riju: Why do you say these things?

--------------------------------------------

Sonia: Does anyone have any sunscreen?

Link: No, I don't like the way it tastes.

Rauru: Wait, you eat sunscreen?

Link: No, why would I eat it if I don't like the way it tastes?

--------------------------------------------

Link: I'm bored.

Gregory: Wanna start chaos for no reason?

Link: I thought you'd never ask.

[diasomnia-dreams]

“All in the Golden Afternoon” | Ace Trappola x Riddle Rosehearts❤️‍🩹

thank you for requesting this story !!

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“You can learn a lot of things from the flowers. For especially in the month of June. There's a wealth of happiness and romance, all in the golden afternoon.”

—Alice in Wonderland, 1951

RIDDLE Rosehearts knew two things. One; to his subjects—er dormmates of Heartslabyul he was somewhat of a Queen to them. They bend the knee and bow their heads and curtsy when he has a command. Two; they all do this, every single one of them obeying the rules that the Queen of Hearts laid out just for him years and years prior.

All of them…that is except for Ace Trappola.

The way the young housewarden’s red painted lips quivered into a worried smile each time a professor would approach him and explain their side of the story every time Ace would misbehave in class, he had to grin and bare it. But as a housewarden, it was starting to get less than tedious.

And sometimes it’s not just Ace who causes the mischief. His other Heartslabyul student Deuce Spade is in on the tomfoolery as well. Featuring Riddle’s favorite magicless Prefect and the familiar imp Grim. So there’s no way he could possibly blame all the problems on Ace, but he is sometimes the main cause of all the scolding.

It seems like Ace Trappola gets a kick out of turning Riddle red. His heart shaped antennae like hair always starts to stick up when he’s around. And Riddle absolutely without any fail always, loses his temper.

“If I lose my temper, you lose your head! Understand!?” He would screech at the top of his lungs towards the first year with a heart painted not on his sleeve but over his eye.

Something will have to be done about this card soldier and his knack for misbehaving.

However, Riddle would have to put his little Ace -escapade- crusade on pause for today! Trey and himself were preparing for another beloved Heartslabyul tradition! The Golden Afternoon walk. Based on back in the Queen of Hearts’ day when she would admire the talking flowers and stroll through the gardens with her lowly King of Hearts.

But in Heartslabyul’s case, there’s no king to accompany the Queen. Riddle chooses out of the Topsy Turvy hat, a name of one of his many Heartslabyul students, who would accompany him for a stroll and could converse wirh the housewarden. Something anyone barely gets to do since Rosehearts is always busy with color coding his notes, enforcing the Queen’s rules and Housewarden work for Headmaster Dire Crowley.

Riddle’s heels clicked and clacked against the tile painted glass floor beneath him. His chin held high and perfectly pursed lips red like the roses he was named for. He was a beautiful boy, many who had the pleasure of meeting him would always conclude. They just wished he would act beautiful too.

And Riddle’s attitude was improving, his temper wasnt showing up as much but when it came to Ace— er, he who should not be named… or even Floyd Leech of Octavinelle dorm, his temper snuck back up to him. Ever since that dreadful day of his Overblot, Riddle wanted to be a little more courteous to his Heartslaybul students, not to be too picky and to allow them to make one mistake a day at least.

His dear friend the Prefect of Ramshackle dorm was always there to lend a listening ear in case sometimes he’d relapse on his old ways and become the Bloody Red Tyrant everyone grew to hate. He wanted to be the Rose Red Queen everyone adored.

Which is why when he entered the Heartsabyul lounge room featuring all of the madness and wondrous furniture which can be found still in antique shops within the Queen of Roses, all of the potential candidates to be Riddle’s partner in Golden Afternoon day’s stroll waited for the announcement.

“I would like to thank the five of you for coming! You all have exhibited the most out of all the students in Heartslaybul the requirements to be a candidate for the Golden Afternoon day stroll! “ Riddle’s body though small eluded his voice loud and proudly.

Trey Clover and Cater Diamond amongst the five students in the crowd who made the cut. Cater Diamond, who was currently swiping on his smart phone, most likely checking Vil Schoenheit’s newest recent post on Magicam.

Trey was only glad that so far, Riddle’s mood was normal. The vice-housewarden spent his entire morning setting up the rose garden and walk way and he wants everything to be perfect for his childhood friend. He would know whether he executed the job correctly or not based on which shade of red to even the faintest of pink Riddle’s face would flush to.

“As all of you know, it is Heartslaybul tradition that every Spring, we honor Wonderland’s most beautiful golden garden. A place of whimsical charm. Incorporating every element which was once apart of the Queen’s fourth favorite place in all of Wonderland.” Riddle proudly announced. His hands clasped together, regally standing amongst the few students.

One of the Heartslabyul students who didnt make the cut, entered the room with the magical Topsy Turvy hat which basically made almost every decision within the dorm was being held tightly within the student’s grasp.

Sice Club’s dark brown hair which reached down to his back and wandering eyes reached his housewarden’s vicinity and handed him the hat which felt heavier than it looked. Sparks of glitter which emitted a white glow shone within the students’ wake and Cater quickly swiped to his camera app so he could record Riddle choosing a name out of the hat.

“Thank you Sice, you are dismissed.” The second year student bowed his head and exited the room giving Trey and Cater a light wave before taking his leave.

“Alright, by the light of the Cheshire Moon to the wave of the Caucus sea, I wish for you O’ Topsy Turvy hat to reveal the winner to me.” Riddle’s rhyming sounding moreso like an old Underlandish hymn, he stepped back a bit as the hat’s magic did it’s stuff. Revealing a long Oraculum scroll which caused Riddle’s hands to quake once his large grey eyes skimmed the words which were painted in black old ink.

“ACE TRAPPOLA.

“IMPOSSIBLE!” Riddle’s voice screeched and he grasped the scroll tightly in his gloved fists. Riddle’s cheeks turned a bright red, redder than the lipstick adoring his lips and brighter than his hair.

‘Not good.’ Trey thought.

“THIS IS A TRAVESTY, A JOKE! A CRUEL JOKE BY THE QUEEN OF HEARTS I DECREE— THIS HAT NO LONGER HOLDS VALIDITY WITHIN THIS HOUSE—

“Heyo Rids chill!” Cater attempted to hold his laughter in. He rested the palm of his hand on the shorter Night Raven student. “Literally whoever it is, it cant be that bad right?” Riddle turned his head to face Cater slowly.

“…Right?” Cater started sweating.

Trey walked over to the duo. “Let me see the scroll.” Trey adjusted his glasses and red the name and then looked back at Riddle whose teeth were bunched and a vein popping from his forehead.

“TODAY I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FREE OF HIS SHENANIGANS AND RELAXING WITHIN THE GARDEN WITH A STUDENT WITH SOME CULTURE! N-not ACE TRAPPOLA!”

And comically as if on cue, the door swung open to the Heartslabyul lounge room. Loud thuds of shoes entered Ace Trappola, The Magicless Prefect Yuu and their familiar Grim!

It took everything within Riddle to not lunge across the room towards Ace let him have it, but he kept his composure as a queen should, not wanting to lose his temper.

“Hey Riddle! Hi Trey and Cater!” Yuu always dazzled the room whichever place they stepped, adored by all in the school. They didnt have anything specifically special about them other than hailing from a magicless world. But that didn’t matter because everyone loved them and wanted Yuu to choose Twisted Wonderland to be their home.

“Where’s Deucey?” Cater questioned, wrapping an arm around Yuu. “He and Jack are at a track meet! Which is where me and Grim are about to go so we can go cheer em on!”

“Oh is that today?” Riddle chimed in. “Well Ace you should accompany your fellow first years and cheer on Deuce in my steed.”

“Not a chance Housewarden, Loosey-Deucey’s got this. Besides, something else is telling me I’m needed somewhere else.” Ace smirked and ruffled Yuu’s hair before waving them goodbye.

Riddle grumbled under his breath, he couldn’t believe this was his life.

“Let’s go henchman! To the field!” Grim squirmed in Yuu’s arms as they held him close to their chest. “Alright Grim relax. Okay Heartslabyuls I’ll see you soon! Be good Ace!” Yuu took their leave.

An awkward silence filled the room as the rest of the Heartslabyul students aside from Ace also left the room due to the fact that for the Golden Afternoon walk, it was supposed to be the housewarden alone with whichever student the hat selected.

“Shall we get going…your majesty?” Ace curtsied sarcastically. One eye closed and the one with the heart painted over it open into a wink like expression. His tongue out, practically taunting the shorter yet older student.

Dressed in his dorm uniform, the pearly white regalia of Heartslabyul which Riddle thought fit Ace so well. It’s like it was meant for him. The bright red heart painted over his eye and the checkered print on his sleeve. Everything about Heartslaybul, was meant for Ace if only he didn’t behave like a scoundrel. Causing a fuss and a ruckus everywhere he went.

There was a very thin line between tolerance and obedience. Riddle was filled with rage and annoyance—but also a split second away from cancelling the entire Golden Afternoon stroll and retire to his bedroom for the rest of the day. And that would be the end of everything.

“Alright, let’s get started. We shall exit the lounge through the back door. Trey and I have prepared the walk way and the garden to fit the description the Queen of Hearts left for us perfectly to the letter. So now, you shall accompany me.” Riddle began walking ahead, exiting the lounge room, Ace following quickly behind, his arms behind his head in a carefree manner whilst his house warden tense from the mere fact he was stuck with Trappola alone for the hour they have together.

Once they reached outside, it felt like the world was larger than what it was earlier. Ace felt dizzy at first because the flowers were now somehow 12 feet tall and a few of them the same height as he was. The grass was greener even more than usual and the Bread and Butterflies flew over Ace and Riddle’s head as they walked side by side.

“Damn housewarden. You and Trey outdid yourselves with the detail.” Ace exclaimed as he rain his fingers through the Get Up in the Morning Glory’s purple petals which were still damp from being watered earlier.

“Hmph.” Riddle actually felt amused by the recently turned seventeen year old’s compliment.

“We pride ourselves to fulfill the accuracy of the original Golden Afternoon. All the flowers handpicked and grown in the Botanical Gardens from the science team thanks to Rook Hunt.” Riddle took a minute to gaze at the flower beds which were beautifully placed in arrays of genus and color.

“Got a favorite?” Ace asked.

“No one’s ever asked me that.” Riddle stopped in his tracks, his big grey eyes staring right into Ace’s red ones. Riddle kept his composure to not twiddle his thumbs, that was against the Queen’s rules but he was getting kind of frazzled for some odd reason.

Was Ace always this cute?

It’s as if he could hear the faintest of violins within his ears as Ace turned to face the housewarden of Heartslaybul. His smile widened and shown his pearly white teeth, with that stupid smirk which caused Riddle to whip his head away and stare back at the flowers.

“Ahem, well, roses of course are my favorites. Not painted red but naturally red, not with the vulgar paint. But when we paint them all together as a dorm—I enjoy those the most.” The two strolled along the pathway which led to a nest of Rocking Horseflies which were Ace absolutely hated.

“Aww housewarden!” Ace punched Riddle’s arm as delicately as possible, continuing on their trek and few for the few minutes they were silent the two of the Night Raven’s began to hear light chatter.

“Was that you?”Ace whispered, more snickers and chatters returned.

“That was actually the flowers. You know Ace, you can learn a-lot of things from the flowers, especially in the month of June.” Riddle knelt down to the level of the smaller grown flowers which were a singular White Rose who had the face of a fair maiden in the center, and Strings of Violets which were giggling and gossiping.

“Good afternoon Riddle!” The angelic voice of the white Rose said.

“They know you?!” Ace knelt down too and squinted at each flower, and they all had distinct little faces.

“Of course we know Riddle!” One of the violets sneered. “He’s always tending to our petals, keeping us fresh as a Lazy Daisy.”

“Oh to be a Lazy Daisy…they love the very peaceful life they lead huh girls?”

“Mhm.” the flowers talked amongst themselves and if was all so fascinating to Ace, and Riddle was conversing back. It was an odd phenomena and the housewarden wasn’t tense, he enjoyed the flowers and their company.

“It’s so nice to not be in the Botanical Gardens right now. Leona would always lay his tail in our flower bed!” a group of seemingly young flowers squeaked.

“Classic Kingscholar!” Ace sighed and stood back up.

Riddle soon finished his conversation with the white rose who was very enamored by Ace and Riddle’s company.

“Remember Riddle, There's a wealth of happiness and romance, All in the golden afternoon!” which Riddle only returned a light grin.

The sun shone down like a yellow toy balloon and for the next few hours they were strange.

Or maybe it was a minute, or actually mere second or two.… A glorious shimmer performed its final bows across the Heartslaybul makeshift sky. White cotton like clouds rolled out along a horizon edged in blues and creamy whites so bright it was like looking into the depths of an Angel’s eyes.

“We dont often to get this much alone time Riddle.” Ace finally used his first name. He rose a brow and gave a smirk. “Ha! It’s like a date.”

And for once in all his seventeen years of living, Riddle was speechless.

“No, No it’s nothing of the sort Ace. We’re barely even friends, merely dormmates. I am your housewarden and you happen to be a troublesome student who I must always pick up the pieces with.”Riddle breathed slowly, his cheeks red.

“Gosh I was only joking Housewarden relax man.“ Ace laughed nervously. “Seriously though we never get to hangout alone, I wanna change that so maybe we can be friends.”

Riddle’s face softened and he suddenly felt awful for letting his temper almost get the best of him. He took another deep breath and nodded slowly. Adjusting the small crown on his head, he spared a passing glance at Ace.

“You actually truly are a dear friend Ace.” Riddle started and the two of them proceeded to walk side by side again.

“Awesome! That’s good to know—

“Let me finish.” Riddle’s voice calm. “You’re a dear friend to me. And without you around, the dorm would truly be a dull place. I enjoy having you around.” Riddle picked up a flower which didn’t have a unique face but also lacked magic. It was a regular old red rose and handed it right to Ace who sheepishly scratched the back of his neck looking down at his house-warden.

“Sure, you’re just my student and I’m your house-warden, I’m also your friend and I view you the same. You cause problems wherever you go and you drive me absolutely mad. And when I think of how lost I’d be without you here I know I’m done for.”

Ace fondled the red petals, gently not to cause them to fall. “Come on man, enough of the sappy stuff…” To be fair, Ace Trappola didn’t really know what to say.

“I look forward to cleaning your messes.” Riddle lowered his voice. “Because I know you’ll always be there to count on me to fix them.” He finally looked into Ace’s eyes. Finally. No longer with disapproval and annoyance. No longer because he was about to scold him, but purely out of admiration and compassion. Riddle allowed himself to smile.

“Riddle, come on man..S’not like I don’t feel the same. I absolutely adore making that little face of yours red. It’s freaking hilarious.” He sat on one of the benches. “And you’re right…I cause trouble with Yuu and the other first years, but I know through it all, you’re gonna be there to swoop me back up and save me from whatever punishment. You’re the best housewarden this school has to offer, I mean come on house-warden, I wouldn’t want it any other way, you’re one of my bestest friends…”

Riddle sniffled slightly but not loud enough for Ace to notice. “Um, well I guess we can stop here for today huh?”

He awkwardly laughed.

“Not much left we can do but finish off with the picnic near the sunset. Trey prepared us strawberry tarts…I know how much you like those Ace. I wasn’t expecting you to be the one I pull from the hat but it all played out in the end.”

“Aww you know me so well Housewarden.” Ace patted the spot next to him on the bench and Riddle walked over, his cape in tow.

“You know, with all this excitement, I haven’t truly given you the full lore of this holiday and why we recognize it.” Riddle magically pulled out a basket of tarts, which just makes sense because this place is the spirit of Wonderland.

“I think I’ve heard you and Trey obsess over it enough.” Ace snickered.

“Obsess? More like prepare to the best of our ability. The Golden Afternoon was a romantic outing the queen and her king took, it was a time where they could have a moment to themselves away from all the chaos that it took to rule Wonderland and— why are you looking at me like that Ace?”

“Ahh, so it is like a date!”

“What!? we thought it could act as an incentive nothing more nothing less!” Riddle blushed, no longer a bright red but a sweet hedgehog pink. His lips pursed into a pout and Ace laughed but turned away when he felt his skin burn too.

Riddle should have been over the moon that the Ace Trappola of all people was delighted by his antics and was now even smiling at him even though they’ve gotten on the wrong foot the week that the blot took control of his heart and darkness overcame him.

He should have felt happiness and satisfaction in his heart that he had never known before that he carried out one of the Queen’s favorite days. Rather than wallowing in failure and his own scorn or self hatred, he had surely impressed his hero. It was a glorious, greedy feeling. One that the Queen of Hearts particularly inspired. But the feeling of Ace having a good time, learning from the flowers and spending time with him all in the Golden Afternoon, the wealth and the romance of it all, he could see himself doing anything to recapture that feeling, to make him feel that way about today or him in general again and again—if he couldn’t feel about him any other way.

——————————————————————-

thank you for reading !! and here you go RiddleAce fans ♥️‼️i hope i did your pairing justice. Lots of Disney Alice in Wonderland references !! remember to reblog, comment and like <33 im so glad to be writing again!!

ART FROM THE TWST ANTHOLOGY COMIC, “A blessing on our Unbirthday” by Himako Neko♥️

[duhsty1]

tomfoolery with @simply-spade OH MY GOD

there’s a TON more but the mobile app limit precedes me so I will be gnawing at the ground

CHECK OUT @simply-spade IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY A LOT OF THE CHARACTERS HERE ARE ITS OCS

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Ace of Spades

A Love of Horror Drabble

Check out masterlist here

“Pick a card, any card”.

Dieter clumsily fanned out the deck of cards in front of you. You randomly selected one and held it close.

“Now, look but don’t tell what it is because I will tell you through the power of mind reading.”

His hands waved about wildly in some attempt at a sexy David Copperfield look but ended up with an adorably wild Dieter look.

“Obviously it can’t be the ace of spades so it’s hearts. Clubs? Diamond? Spades?”

You held back a giggle.

“Yes, it’s spades. We’re in the numbers but are we high or low numbers?”

His head looked like it was going to explode, and you could not contain your giggles.

“I’m not laughing, I’m not”. You snorted.

“I’m trying to impress you with my mind reading powers here.”

“Dieter, you don’t need to impress me, I already like you.”

“You do?”

You nodded and he bashfully blushed.

“Besides, your Vincent Price impression was the thing that impressed me.”

“Really? Well, why didn’t you say anything? It would’ve saved me from all this magic tomfoolery. What was the card anyways?”

You showed him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? The ace of spades?!!!”

Lovingly tagging @cevans-is-classic

[sweatertheman]

Homestuck Observation.

Current position in story, bull boy got sexually assualted by The Funny Vriska, rambling about troll romance, the story devolves into meta nonsense where the writer loses his shit in a spooky attic wearing bad troll cosplay, forces us to reread troll romance rambling, something about Spades Slick and Clubs Deuce, Sollux died, cheated death, and is now reading Karkat's dumb board for all his dumb game nonsense.

Isn't it weird how the end outcome for planets that end up playing "sburb" is destruction and repopulation by the remnants of creatures created BY the game? Even though the Alternian session created Spades Slick, enemy of the Felts and Lord English, I think it created Snowman, one of the Felts. At the same time, in the Earth session, regardless of Jack Noir's interfereance, isn't it odd how these planets get wiped out and repopulated by these beings? What is the true end goal of "sburb"? What is Lord English's goal? Who are the Felts? Who are the Midnight Crew? Why is Midnight Crew also a piece of Earth fiction? How does an indestrucible time demon and leader of a time-themed gang benefit from the destruction of whole races? That, or why does his arrival in Paradox Space necessitate the destruction of said races? Does Lord English intend to take over the universe? What does "sburb" have to do with playing cards? Did the Midnight Crew just appropriate troll romance iconography for their new identities following the thrashing of Alternia? Why did Lord English set up shop there? What does he intend to do with a time-themed gang? Is he just fucking with us?

I hate time travel! Especially Homestuck time travel. Fuck Lord English. I don't even know him, but I blame him for all the contradictory time travel tomfoolery. I hope John Egbert pisses all over his time grave, and I don't even like John Egbert! He's underdeveloped thus far, and is also a disgrace to the field of ectobiology!

[spadesandstars]

what ......

[blitzbuckz]

For once, the owl bends down — movements slow and measured, offering option for retreat if desired — and gently boops his head to the top of the imp's. Soft, barely audible chirp is offered before he withdraws so they may both go about their business.

【𐂃】 SHIT NOT HIM. fearing for his little red hole, the imp slightly arched his back. His body tensing, head dipped down, as if preparing for another tomfoolery stunt. Shifting to that of a defensive stance. Imagining the worse, yet, to his surprise- the outcome was anything but that...

❝ uMM... ❞ Hues pivot upwards, glancing up with a heartfelt glow to them. His body winced when they made contact, but only for a brief moment before warming up to the touch. It felt kinda... nice.

Like a dog receiving pats, the spade of his tail swerved repeatedly. wagging. almost provoking a purr out of him before the prince broke away their hypnotic touch. Leaving the assassin speechless, blushing as he watched the owl disappear from view.

Blitzø couldn't make out what that was all about, but he wasn't going to let it rummage in his brain too much. he had paperwork to do! ( although, he wouldn't mind receiving another sometime... if they were to visit again. )

[ninthhousesteel]

*pushes the door open like my cat at 8am this morning* hello its me again I'm here to bother you >:)

i've been studying with my gf all day together so I'm here to present ronance studying together headcanons

(probably a modern au cos its just easier to figure that out)

-they start trying to study together by going to the library at uni because it's a central location and they usually have class together anyway so it's nice to make a day of it and spend the extra time before or after class together

-however this ends up Not Working At All because they just enjoy each other's company WAY too much and make each other laugh and they're both neurotic/neurodivergent (I know nd is the correct term but neurotic is more fun to say) so focusing is a fucking task and when their pretty funny gf is there to make them smile it's HARD ok it's hard

-they do still try and make it work but nancy is the only one who can get stuff done because she's a fucking studyhound and robin is just goofing off the entire time or fighting her brain to make it focus (it took her 2 weeks to get through 2 lectures)

-they tried bringing in Accountability Buddies like vickie and chrissy and steve and eddie but this also didn't work because while vickie is a diligent studier, chrissy is not and works better alone and also loves messing with robin and vice versa, and besides nancy and chrissy are caffeine addicts and keep getting up to grab coffee for breaks, and vickie and robin keep getting sidetracked into weird theories because they're 2 bitches with adhd what else are they gonna do

-and steve and eddie are Not Studying People; steve kinda is but he's doing a trade apprenticeship and frequently gets distracted and eddie cannot sit still for 10 seconds so he's a nightmare if you sit him down at a table and tell him to be quiet, so that's out

-anyway. so they're bad at stuyding together at uni but they still do it cos its fun and they like hanging out and the illusion of getting work done is nice

-one day tho robin is Not Having It and hasn't left her house cos she's tired but she's still planning to get stuff done; meanwhile nancy is at uni and is complaining cos it's 11am and she's been here since 8 and hasn't gotten anything done, so robin just says 'babe come over we can study here together I have cats' and nancy, for lack of anything better to do and missing her gf's cuddles, says yes and buses over

-armed with takeaway coffee and stress in spades, they curl up on robin's bed and actually??? get stuff done??? there's still plenty of tomfoolery and dumb laughter together, plenty of goofing off, but there's long periods of them both with their noses in uni readings or books or taking notes or making essay plans or occasionally discussing what they're going to do for this next assignment

-nancy grabs one of robin's large stuffed animals and uses it as a backrest against the wall and it gets sufficiently squished and looks very sad

-at some point they're throwing silly jibes at each other and nancy dares robin to make her shut up, so robin gets up and quickly kisses her which makes nancy squeal and hide her face as robin quickly runs off to make tea, cackling the whole way

-robin's two cats wander around the house and curl up on the bed next to them which is very sweet and nancy keeps getting distracted by them

-they change positions across the bed several times but they've always got an arm on the other one or a foot touching someone else's leg or their legs over each other to keep each other grounded while they read things

-once it hits 5:30 they both kind of run out of juice and agree to call it a night and get pizza for dinner and watch conspiracy theory documentaries on robin's laptop while in bed together before passing out

-all in all it's a very successful day and they agree to do it again

i have nothing else to add because these hcs are brilliant!!

[raritarous]

Deltarunes narrator part 2

I’m replaying Deltarune and paying extra close attention to the narrator to make a comparison between the two and, eventually take a guess at who the narrator is. This tomfoolery was prompted by me remembering the narrator Chara theory, which I believe to be true. I am trying to remine objective for this comparison but I will fall down a rabbit hole into wild speculation and theorizing eventually... It’s just who I am. 

Part 1

Masterpost

First I’m going to make a slight correction from part 1. It has come to my attention that before you go to the dark world the options selection is the same as in Undertale defaulting to one side and using white and white text.

It isn’t until we go to the dark world and Ralsei askes us to listen to his tale that we are presented with the centered heart and white and yellow text.

What is possibly the most interesting about this is that the white and yellow text stays after returning from the dark world.

There are only Two (I believe) cases of white and yellow text options in Undertale. One being when Chara asks if you want to destroy everything at the end of a murder montage, and the other when you name the fallen human at the beginning of the game.

And I have to correct myself once again because the actual first time we see the centered heart and white and yellow text is

I’m not going to jump into theories just yet, but stay tuned part 3 is most likely where we start falling down rabbet holes.

I am going to take a quick minute to sidetrack away from the narrator. Bare with me for this one I feel like I is worth looking at with the subject of the narrator in the back of our minds. 

At a glance it would be easy to say that both Kris and Frisk are your generic silent RPG protagonist for you to project yourself onto. Nothing happens to challenge this idea in Undertale until you complete a true pacifist run. Once you manage to get through to Asriel and he askes for your name Frisk answers him with their own name instead of the one you chose at the beginning of the game. Frisk very rarely acts outside of the players influence, keeping the illusion that you and Frisk are one in the same. (this may be less true during a no fun run, but I am too much of a weenie to play that run myself so I have only watch it. I remember there being time the character advanced on someone when they were trying to monolog but I don’t know if that was under the control of the player or not) The only (non geno run) time I can think of where Frisk acts somewhat independently is in the true lab, walking extremely slowly toward the shower and moving much faster than usual if you turned back.

Kris on the other hand seems to be far more willing to act on their own. Backing away from the closet door when first finding the dark world, jumping in front of Susie to black an attack from Spade King, and running on their own when prompted by Susie when Lancer first attacks after entering the dark world. (by this last one I mean you don’t have to hold the run bottom down, you still have to initiate movement.) And that's not even bringing into account that they... you know...

Yeah all that... Lets get back to the narrator.

I don’t think Undertales narrator ever told you what someone else was thinking like this, only what they were doing. I could be wrong about this one but I still felt it was worth putting in here. 

One thing I have noticed that I didn’t pay too much attention to at first was the narrators callbacks to check info from Undertale though they are not exact.

this last one isn’t really a callback but I did fine it interesting that the end of battle message was different between the two

especially when this is something that happens

Sorry I keep going off on tangents away from the narrator, I just feel like this stuff is going to mean something later on.

This post has gotten long enough. If you have made it this far thank you so much for reading, I’m really enjoying this deep dive into the narrator I hope you are too.

[victorsandvanquishers]

The Red Seed in Your Heart

Fandom: Black Clover

Ships: implied Yuno/Asta/Liebe, Spade Noble Demon 1/Spade Noble Demon 2

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Canon-typical violence

Story Synopsis: Demons are a miracle born from human hatred and the power of the Underworld. [Chapter 281, Black Clover]  Alternatively, a tale about men living their lives after the defeat of the Dark Triad, and the men who came before them. Regardless, Yuno is still Yuno of Hage, no matter how much he looks like Royce and Ciel Grinberryall.

~~

Late to my own event, but here’s my submission for Day 2 of Black Clover Week 2021, for the prompt Ancestors! Enjoy, and make sure to reblog all the wonderful artwork, fanfiction, and other mixed media produced for this event, and participate, if you can.

Enjoy the tomfoolery, and don’t forget to leave a review! ~(˘▾˘~)

[courtlyharlequin]

Bubble, Bubble, Toil, and Trouble

Summary: As if handling the first years isn’t enough, you were their lover. Sometimes, you were their caretaker, scolding them for their bizarre antics and tomfoolery. Other times, their partner in crime, stirring up chaos around campus with them. This time, you were their partner in alchemy.

Ace Trappola:

That little shit.

The moment Crewel listed the partners for today’s lab, Ace shot you the most mischievous grin one could ever produce.

As soon as you two went to your cauldron, he started poking at your sides. When you turn to him and glare, he feigns innocence and whistles a cheery tune.

What’s worse is that you two were put at the lab furthest away from your instructor, leaving Ace with all the time in the world to carry whatever scheme he’s got going on in his head.

He. Won’t.  Leave. You. Alone.

Getting anything done with him around is hopeless.

He’s quite handsy with you. He kissed you relentlessly, distracting you from pouring acid into a beaker. You nearly spilled it onto yourself… Ace!!!

It’s a miracle that Crewel didn’t punish you. Then again, Ace is very good at sensing Crewel’s presence as well as pretending to be productive. It’s just his snickering that gives it away.

That laugh is contagious and soon you find yourself messing around with him too.

Let’s just hope that his Crewel detection skills are alert while you two mess around with ingredients, escalating quickly as you threw in random substances into the mix.

Ace ruined the mood. He opened a jar of toads and said, “This is you”– which resulted in a firm smack across the chest and your caretaker mode to switch on (much to his dismay).

As you turned to fix the potion, you realized that it was incurable. You sigh, accepting the fact that detention was underway.

Deuce Spade:

He’s excited! Elated! He’s been wanting to work with you ever since he’s gotten over that rushing feeling of nervousness whenever he’s around you.

Deuce is fired up and his motivation spreads to you. He really wants to do his best especially since you’re his lab partner now.

Keyword: wants

Your darling is struggling a bit to locate the ingredients and process the directions on the parchment so you might have to help him navigate the lab’s procedures.

You held his hand throughout the whole process– literally and figuratively.

Whilst stirring your concoction, Deuce initiates the small talk. He asks how your day was and goes on to say how grateful he is for your help and your love.

Truthfully, you didn’t expect him to get so sappy in a classroom with you. The more he went on, your heart raced and your cheeks flushed.

The red tint of your cheeks causes this precious boy to worry about you. Do you have a fever? Let’s check.

He puts his forehead against yours. You just combusted at that point, pushing him away.

It doesn’t take him long for him to realize that he was too close to you. Deuce apologizes frantically though he still doesn’t get why you were so hot before.

The lab ended with you two in complete silence, red, and holding hands behind your backs.

“Did you all burn yourselves?” Crewel asks, bewildered.

Jack Howl:

You saw his ears perk up when he heard Crewel say your name.

Though he is excited, Jack hurries to the lab by himself, setting up the cauldron, and organizing the ingredients.

When you arrive, everything is all set but awkward.

Ahhh he was too excited and rushed things so now you all just got started. Were you offended that he didn’t meet up with you before coming here?

“Something wrong?” you coo.

“No.”

“Your ears were drooping so I was worried.”

Ah shoot now he’s overthinking and it shows.

He then rambles on about how he was too excited to work with you, but he rushed it so now it’s just so darn awkward.

But to Jack’s surprise, you’re not mad at all. Not when you saw his tail wagging while setting everything when you were putting on your lab equipment.

He tries to play it off cool, but it fails miserably. Fortunately, his attempt made you burst in a fit of giggles thus setting the mood to an atmospheric yet causal one.

One could mistake you two for mere classmates. If one looked closer, they would be able to hear the gentle tone Jack would use to respond to your comments about well… whatever your conversation was about.

But for you, you knew everything. He was more than excited, alright. His eye and animalistic features gave it away. Your heart melted. Ahh, he was just so cute!

Ace commented that you two were “so lovey-dovey that it’s sickening” from the lab across.

Did it matter? No, not really. At least you were more productive than the Ace and Deuce combo. The only trouble you had was Jack being wholesome for an hour straight and your heart going to cardiac arrest every five minutes.

Epel Felmier:

You could see his shoulders relax. Though you sat in the back row, you could tell that he sighed in relief.

Of course, Epel is thrilled to work with you… but he’s also thrilled to drop his adorable facade.

Ugh! Finally! He didn’t know how much he could take after having Vil drill him on table manners during his lunch.

He just wanted a peaceful meal with you, but no! Instead, Pomefiore’s perfect dragged him away.

Epel had to sit with his back straight and eat “proper” food daintily. It was such a pain, but he couldn’t protest against it since he knew Vil wouldn’t budge.

Oh, but now that you’re here, he could vent to you! And go “feral” as you’d like to put it.

The first few minutes were of him rambling about his utter distaste for his dormitory.

You both cracked jokes and snickered, calling Vil a potato king instead of the poison king.

Crewel had to scold you two for laughing too hard at all of the potato jokes and for the foul language.

Still, it was worth it. If it both meant being true to yourselves (well, for Epel anyway; you just liked seeing him happy) and having a blast, then so be it.

However, unlike being partners with Ace, there’s no fooling around to the point where one of you could damage equipment. Being Epel’s partner just meant wholesome conversations. From talking about his grandmother to his adventures in apple orchards from back at home.

Sebek Zigvolt:

You were the one excited.

Sebek… is flustered.

On one hand, he tries his best to remain curt, anything but a rose-tinted mess. On the other, he doesn’t want to gush over you and Malleus or get too loud.

People tend to chatter away or clam their mouths shut around their crushes/lovers (or in Sebek’s case: master). This particular first year is the former. He’s talkative.

Even worse, getting in trouble with Crewel because he was causing a commotion. That would reflect badly on his master and Diasomnia. He can’t have that!!

Oh, but talking to you is so fun…

You’re the perfect human to converse about his love for Malleus amongst other things.

Sebek gets so carried away when he’s spouting lore about who knows what, but you’re interested and that’s all that matters.

You indulge him so much, encouraging him to keep going and from there, his eyes just light up and you can’t stop him.

Because he’s an honors student or at least one for the sake of his dorm’s reputation, he does manage to get back on task. He’s the type of student who can work while talking, but he can get carried away sometimes.

He hushes himself abruptly as Crewel sweeps by with a progress check.

[ahalal-uralma]

Tale of The Mad Man

Once upon a time....

there was a man named Percy Jekyll. 

Henry Jekyll. Harry Jekyll? No. Percy.

No, surely it must be Harry. No. No. No.

As matter of fact? Body bag the first name. Just call him Dr. Jekyll, when he isn’t assuming the position of Mr. Edward Hyde. And don’t ask too many questions or he will get swift and sharp about it. Angry. Furious.

Mad. You might say as mad as an adder.

Atter?

Hatter. He has a hat that goes with the temper. It’s tall, taller than your third removed cousin’s ego. Or your ex’s. You take your pick.

It’s exceptionally lofty.

But not quite as lengthy as his black hair.

Hair so lengthy sometimes it tickles the length of his even more exceptionally....no. Stop it.

This story is off to a terrible start if you haven’t noticed already. Anyway, where were we going with this? Restart. I hope you have some tea.

Once upon a time, there was an egomaniacal genius by way and form of Dr. Jekyll (for now). He was playing a game of spades.

With a cat.

Her name is Mary. Or so she claims when she is smiling. She has many names and titles, to be quite frank about it, but she’ll never be entirely honest about what they’re for or what they mean. Or where the hell any of it came from.

She doesn’t smile often, but when she does it’s quite disarming. Not in the way that a beautiful painting is disarming. Her expression makes you want to remove an arm. It’s less painful than her grin.

You become convinced that you will do almost anything to get rid of the discomfort. One time, he tried to chew himself apart at the shoulder—but then, he ruined his favorite coat doing it, so he didn’t. Sometimes, you wonder if there’s a real body count behind her smile. But, none of that is terribly important at the moment.

What’s important is that this tomfoolery of a man is losing to her. 

She is sitting there outside a cafe, a swatch of black on the edge of a marble table, with her head turned down. Her little ears sharp as horns as she covers a paw over a stack of cards. You can tell she’s plotting to make his life hell just by glancing at her. 

And she will.

Because, she always does.

It’s how his last relationship ended: in flames so hot he began running backwards to escape it till he nearly found himself in a ditch. A pit. An abyss. An unsmiling void unlike the false light he latched onto for comfort.

All of it is her fault.

But, he will never apologize to the woman he hurt for her. It would be a grand blow to his esteem to admit he betrayed the Queen for a shapeshifting con-artist. He was trapped in a game he was losing, but it was better than the loss of his head to a woman who collected the world’s hearts. Or that’s the deception he liked to repeat to himself when he wasn’t drunk.

He was definitely drunk now.

He practically slammed his glass of wine down on the table as he carefully scanned through the numbers and symbols in his spindly fingers.

He barely noticed the jack of all trades being placed un-ironically on the surface in front of him.

“It won’t work.” A morose nasal voice interrupted his concentration. He knew who it was before the smoke of their monochrome-striped pipe reached his nose. It had the smell of marijuana and anise.

“Good morning, Edgar.” Percy waved the fumes from his face. It felt like a thick fog was being dumped all over his vision.

“Is it?” Edgar didn’t sound terribly convinced it was a good morning. Through the lens of his spectacles, no morning was to be perceived ever as a good morning. An average morning? A mediocre one, perhaps? Perhaps not.

“Why don’t you sit with us for some tea, dear?” It was the first time Mary decided to speak that morning. Her face was still down-turned at her cards.

“I do not drink tea. I do not like tea. And for that matter, why should I? Tea does not like me. Tea does not drink me.”

Percy’s left hand shot like lightning as Mary’s tail decided to suggestively push his wine glass in the direction of the sulking addict. His hand procured the glass with expert grace. “I think you will not, madam.” He made sure to drink down the remaining contents this time. And then, he let the glass hit the ground with an unceremonious shatter. A power display.

“All for the better, I am a cognac man.” Edgar replied in his usual unruffled tone. A cyclone couldn’t shake his brooding.

Percy decided to look up at his melancholic friend, “Do not sound too put off now. You know how I am about my spirits. You may still sit with us.” He lifted the black cane he usually carried at his side and used it to tap on an empty chair near him. “Come. Do not be such a stranger. We are all stranger’s here.”

Edgar looked as he always did: tall, lithe with a gray and black suit to match his moth wings. While most moth’s displayed their wings proud like circus tents, his remained draping down like sad blankets. It was most likely how he used them when he wasn’t mucking about dragging on his pipe or tearing over a drink.

“Thank you, but I will stand. You’re not really going to play that card are you?”

“Well, I guess I can’t now that you exposed it’s existence....” Percy shot a concerned glance at Mary, who was finally looking up. She looked like she was resisting a grin, but he knew better. She was going to assault him, when she knew it would hurt him the most.

“Your turn, sugar baby.” She said sweetly. Another lie. Nothing she did was ever meant to be sweet. It was all a game for her.

He slapped his next card down. He tried not to show how nervous and on-edge the move was making him. He was at the breaking point.

Do or don’t.

Destruction didn’t mind how it arrived. It would announce itself regardless.

And that’s when chaos broke: she smiled throwing down her card. “Oh, look. You have been stagnated by the Queen. How fitting.”

That was it. He lost all of his senses. He flipped it all. The table, the chairs. She floated into the air laughing. Mocking his rage. Mr. Edward Hyde was no longer hiding. He was showing up just in time. She crossed the line. She violated his memories for the sake of a victory. Her ego was always more important than his pride.

“Jezebel! Cretin! I should have known!”

Edgar looked between them in confusion. “What is happening?”

Mary’s body had vanished mid-air, all but her mocking smile. “Still your existence. You are only animated when you have no control! Isn’t that what you have always wanted? Control? Your best control is when you are dead! Do not pretend you love any of this!”

Percy’s hair had turned fire-red. “For the love of God, Mary! Have you no shame or concept of boundaries? How dare you do this!”

“God has no power here.” Her voice continued laughing. “I will strike wherever I want to go.”

“Go to Hell, then!” He took his cane and began swatting the air. Edgar’s wings sprung up just enough to shelter him from the explosion of debris created by a chair being thrown. He had no idea who threw it.

There was only one idea as he had seen this situation play itself out many times before: the hatter had gone completely mad. And through no falter, the Cheshire Cat was to blame. Again.