#space cowboy by kacey musgraves | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

raspberrybesitos · 1 year ago

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Space Cowboy | din djarin x f!reader

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Summary: Before Din became one of the most notorious bounty hunters in the galaxies, he was in love with you. The two of you shared a wonderful life together. However once he joined the Guild, things between you two shifted. Din became increasingly dedicated to hunting quarries, pushing you to the bottom of his priorities. Thus, leading you to make the hardest decision of your life. They say if you love something, set it free.

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Word count: ~4k

Warnings: kissing, probs inaccurate star wars lore, Din Djarin is referenced as Din in this and i’m not sorry, very little fluff, fools in love, no mention of hair type/skin color/body type, NO USE OF Y/N, desperate!Din, angst with no happy ending, flashbacks, POV switching, Din unintentionally shuts reader out, reader is neglected, this is just sad 🥲

A/N: This idea is loosely based off Space Cowboy by Kacey Musgraves. I was with my bff and we both agreed that whole album is extremely Din coded while we listened to it. She actually inspired the idea for this one shot! so full creds to my twizzy ily 👯‍♀️ i cranked this out in 2 hours before falling asleep, Din has been rotting my brain as of lately. let me know what you think! please feel free to send me asks or leave your thoughts in the comments 🫶🏼 not beta’d, all mistakes are my own.

Divider by the lovely @saradika 🩵

“Din, my love,” you stir from your slumber, calling out to him in the Razor Crest. No answer, as usual. He’s been on this bounty for a week now when he said it’d take no longer than 4 days. Your comm link had broken, not having time to grab another before you two set off on this journey. Sighing, you rise to your feet and make the bed. Wandering through the ship, you open the door and watch the ramp descend. You begin your usual, mundane walk around the forest in which the ship is parked.

Since joining a year ago, Din has grown increasingly distant as he establishes himself in the Guild, set in his dedication to them. While you’re happy your partner has found a burning passion, you do miss him. Never really around and when he is, his mind is somewhere else - not with you.

Lost in thought, you don’t hear the rustling in the bushes. “Cyar’ika!” Din’s voice pierces the air, startling you. “Oh! My love! You’re back,” sighing, relieved to see him. “I told you to stay on the ship. We don’t know what’s out here,” he says, short and curt as he lugs the quarry to the ship.

Stealing a glance at the quarry, mindful not to use his real name. “Mando, you can’t possibly expect me to stay confined to that ship for days while you’re off doing stars knows what!” Anger courses through your veins, his words sending you into a fit of fury. He shoves the quarry up the ramp, you following in tow. “He not treating you right, pretty lady?” Din tightens his hold onto him, the quarry yelping in pain. “What?! I can’t ask a question?!” “No. You can’t,” Din grits as he tosses him into the cargo hold, freezing him. Din closes the ship door, bringing the ramp up.

“Din! Do you really expect me to stay inside the ship for days at a time?!” You shriek. “Yes! I do! I already have enough to worry about, I don’t need to add you to the list too,” he spits. “Your list? So I’m one of your quarries now?!” He scoffs at your words, grumbling as he ascends the ladder. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Of course you don’t. You never do,” you mutter as he walks away. He freezes, climbing down the steps. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Your chest heaves, words forming on your lips before you even realize. “You never have time for me anymore! I never see you! You’re constantly away on these hunts, while you stick me in here like I’m some sort of doll! And even when you are here, you ignore me half the time! It’s been a year, how long do you expect to me go on like this?!”

“Go on like what?! You know I’m working my way up in the Guild, you knew this was going to be a big adjustment. I told you this when I joined.” You fight back tears that threaten to spill over, battling to keep your composure. “I know that, Din! I do! But I’m lonely, I miss you! Is that so hard to understand?” You plead. “I’m here with you when I’m not out on a hunt, how could you miss me?” He asks, oblivious to your pain, your needs.

“When you’re here, you stare out the window the majority of the time! Tracking your quarries, talking to Karga, finding who you need to pick up next, only ever acknowledging me when you return or before bed! You don’t even sit and have dinner with me anymore,” you explain exasperatedly. “So because I’m busy doing my job and not sharing a ration pack with you every night, you’re upset?”

It takes every fiber in your being to not let your tears fall. Blinking them back, you swallow them down. “That’s not what I mean, Din.” Your voice wobbled and hushed. “Then what do you mean, cyar’ika? I’m trying to provide a better life for you, for us. A life where you have all the things you deserve,” Din says. “I don’t care about any of that, Din. My life will always be better with you in it, no matter where we are or what we have, or lack.”

“You said you’d support me when I joined the Guild.” “And I do! It’s not that I don’t support you, Din, I-,”

“Then what is it?” “Please, stop twisting my words. We never argue like this. My love… please.” Despite not seeing his face, you know your words have gotten to him. He lets out a modulated sigh. The silence hangs heavy in the air until it’s interrupted by an incoming call from Karga on Din’s comm link. “I’ve gotta take this, cyar’ika.”

Fighting back tears is a losing battle. “Okay,” you whisper, pushing past him and into the refresher. Din sighs as you shut the door behind you. He doesn’t know what’s worse - the fact that you didn’t slam the door or that he wishes you did. As he ascends the ladder to take the call, he hears a sniffle from the refresher. Torn between you and the call, he continues his way up the ladder.

Silently sobbing into a towel on the floor, your body rattles as you attempt to control your breathing. It’s no use, he refuses to see why you’re upset. He used to be so empathetic with you, so open and tender. Now, it’s like you might as well be his colleague, one that he barely speaks to merely out of obligation. Your heart shatters at the thought, wondering if his love has also faded away along with the Din you once knew.

Picking yourself up, you splash water on your face - grateful for the icy chill to revive you. You open the door, tip toeing out into the ship. Peering around the corner, you check to see if Din has gone to bed. The bed is empty and made, seemingly untouched. A defeated sigh escapes your lips. You quietly ascend the ladder, peeking inside the cockpit. Din sits in the pilot seat, as the ship moves through hyperspace, the blue light reflecting off his armor.

Fighting an internal war, deciding if you should stay or give him space, you ultimately decide on the latter. You clear your throat before leaving. He whips around in his seat.

“Where are we going?” “Back to Nevarro. I’ve finished for now. Karga wants to meet with me for a special bounty.” Your chest aches. “Oh. Okay. How long until we get there?” “About 2 days.”

“Okay. I’m going to bed.” Thick, heavy silence ensues again. “Okay, cyar’ika. Good night.” You flash him a pained, small smile. “Good night, Din. I love you,” you say, voice unsteady. There’s a beat before he speaks. “I love you too.” It’s silly to even hope that he’ll join you, but hope is all you can hang onto to stay sane for the next 2 days.

You descend the ladder and climb into the small cot you two normally would’ve shared. It feels so big despite its size. Burying your face into his pillow, fat tears fall from your eyes again. Your chest on fire as your lungs burn from heaving. You tire yourself out from sobbing, falling into a deep sleep.

You wake after stars knows how long, eyes burning as you crack them open. Swollen and puffy, it hurts to keep them open. You stretch and climb out of bed, rubbing your head to soothe the intense ache. Climbing up the ladder, you see Din isn’t in the seat anymore and you’re no longer in hyperspace. Stepping down, you hear the refresher door hiss as it opens. Din steps out, adjusting his helmet. He smells clean, like his piney soap. He must’ve taken a shower. He freezes as he sees you standing in front of him.

“Cyar’ika,” he nearly whispers. “Din.” He winces at the use of his name, not used to it tumbling from your lips as you typically call him your ‘love.’

“How’d you sleep?” “Good. How long did I sleep for?” “About a day.” You’re taken aback a bit. You’ve never slept that long before. “Oh.” “I didn’t want to wake you. You looked peaceful.”

I definitely didn’t feel that way, you silently think. “I wish you had joined me,” you can’t help but admit. “You also know sitting in that chair isn’t good for your back.” He sighs at your words. “I know, cyar’ika, but I didn’t know if you wanted me there.” Your brows scrunch, lips turning into a frown. “I always want you next to me, Din. Even if we have a disagreement beforehand, I’ll always want you by my side.”

“I’ll always want you by my side too, cyar’ika. Which is why I need your support as I advance in the Guild,” he says. “Din, I do support you, I can’t stress that enough. I just wish you’d hear what I’m saying - see where I’m coming from,” you sigh. “This job that Karga wants me to take pays very well. It’ll greatly assist us in buying a house somewhere one day. A house where we can raise a family.”

“Din, what part of ‘I don’t care where we are just as long as we’re together’ do you not understand? A house doesn’t mean anything to me if you’re never going to be home. That’s no life for a family. You are my home. All I’m asking for is more time with you, my love. You haven’t kissed me in over a week,” you ramble.

“I need you, cyar’ika. I always will… but right now, I need to take this job. To set up our future for success. I’ll give you everything you ask for very soon, cyar’ika, I promise,” he says, completely disregarding everything you’ve just said.

“How soon, Din?!” You ask, your throat burning. “I don’t know, but soon!” Fat tears cascade down your cheeks, taking in a deep breath.

“Aren’t I enough, Din?” You hiccup, your cheeks soaked in sorrow. “Of course you are enough, cyar’ika! More than enough, why would you ask such a question?” He asks offendedly. “Then why do you keep making me compete with the Guild? Why is this job so important? Why won’t you listen to me? Why won’t you talk to me anymore?” You shout, through your tears, voice crackling.

“I’m not making you compete with the Guild. I’ve told you why this is important. It’s for us, for our future children,” he says, growing impatient. “No. This is for you. You’re trying to prove yourself for whatever reason you won’t tell me,” you grit. “I am not trying to prove myself to anyone. I’m the one who is trying to provide for us, trying to make sure we stay afloat. Someone has to. I’m sorry I don’t have time to play house. We need to have one of those first in order to do that,” he spits, frustration boiling over as he raises his voice.

You’re frozen in place, feet glued to the floor. He’s never raised his voice at you. He’s never talked at you before. Your tears pause, body going into shock at his reaction. He’s gone. The Din you fell in love with is gone, floating around in the stardust somewhere in one of the many galaxies you two have traveled through.

“Cyar’ika, I-,” you hold a hand up to him. “No. It’s fine,” you whisper as you walk past him. “Cyar’ika, I’m sorry, that’s not what I-,” You turn around to look at him. “It’s okay, Din. Really,” you whisper, stepping into the tiny chamber that contains your cot, shutting the door. You’ve never shut the door before, but you need to get away from him somehow as you’re confined to this small ship.

Tears drip from your eyes until there are no more, unable to cry anymore. You know what you have to do when you reach Nevarro. With nowhere else to go, you curl into a ball and desperately try to sleep. You drift off, grateful for the painful headache which forces you into sleep.

A knock on the door wakes you from your slumber. “Cyar’ika, we’re landing,” Din says, modulated voice muffled from the outside the door. You wait until you hear his footsteps climb up the ladder and into the cockpit. Opening the door, you grab your single bag and quickly pack what little belongings you have on the ship and hide it under the blanket on the cot.

You hurriedly climb up into the cockpit and situate yourself in the passenger seat, acting as if last night didn’t happen. Painful silence clings to the air. The ship descends and the two of you sit in silence in the process. As soon as the ship lands, you swiftly unbuckle your seatbelt and scurry down the ladder, desperate to get off this ship.

Din follows suit and opens the door, waiting for the ramp to descend. He goes to the cargo hold of the ship. While his back is turned, you grab your bag from under the blanket and hurry out the door and onto land.

Making your way to the cantina, you search for Greef Karga. Spotting him, you wave him down. He greets you with a smile. “Ah! Mando’s girl! How have you been? Where is Mando?” He kindly asks, oblivious to your hastiness. “Uh, he’s still on the ship. Unloading the quarry. Do you think you could help me with something?” He grows concerned at your question. “I’ll do my best. Is everything alright, young lady? Are you hurt?”

You wave him off. “No, no. I’m fine. I just, um. I just need a place to stay while Mando continues working,” you explain. Karga raises a brow at your statement. “He’s not… hurting you is he?” Your eyes pop out of your head at the accusation. “Stars, no! He would never do that! I just need some space to myself rather than stay confined to the ship.” “Okay, okay. I just wanted to be sure. We can arrange something, perhaps you can bunk with Cara. In the meanwhile, I have a spare room you can use as we figure something out.” You smile, relieved that you get to stay here.

“Thank you. Thank you so so much, Karga,” you say, shaking his hand. “Does Mando know you’ll be staying here?” You avoid the question, letting go of his hand. “Are you leaving Mando?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I can’t do it anymore, Karga. I’m so lonely. It’s for the best,” you whisper, not wanting to air out all the details of your relationship. He frowns, “If you’re lonely, imagine how lonely Mando will be after you leave,” he says. “Please don’t. Don’t do that. I have to choose myself. I’ll choose me first if no one else will,” you say through your crackling voice. Karga just sympathetically nods.

He takes out a ring of keys and removes one, placing it in your hand. “The key to my house. You know which one it is, right?” He asks. You furiously nod. “Go ahead and let yourself in. Don’t forget to lock it after. Take your time,” he says. “Thank you,” you sigh as you firmly shake his hand one more time.

You exit the cantina, heading in the direction of Karga’s house. “Cyar’ika!” You stop walking, whipping your head around at the sound of his modulated voice. Din is running up to you, weapons clanging against his worn armor.

“Where did you go? You rushed off the ship so fast, I couldn’t ask where you went. I was worried,” he huffs. “I came to see Karga,” you say flatly. “For what?” Confusion lacing his voice. “I needed help with something.” “Something I couldn’t help you with?” “Yes, actually,” you explain. “Cyar’ika, what did you need that I couldn’t have helped you with?”

You glance away, unable to bear the sight of him despite his face being covered. Biting back tears, the words begin to form on your lips. “I’m staying here, Din,” you whisper, careful not to say his name too loudly.

“What? Cyar’ika, wait,” Din says. “I’m staying here, Din. There’s nothing that could change my mind. I’m so sorry, my love,” you tell him quietly. “No, no, cyar’ika. Don’t do this,” he pleads, scrambling to grab your hands. “I have to Din,” you quietly rasp through your tears. “No you don’t. Please, cyar’ika. Don’t leave me, I need you,” his voice trembles from behind the helmet. “And I need you too, Din, but until you get what you want out of the Guild, I’ll never have you.” You shake your hands out of his.

“Cyar’ika, please stay. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I’ll change for you. Whatever it is. Don’t leave me please,” he begs, tears evident in his voice as he collapses to his knees and hugging your middle. A sob wracks your body as you look up to the dreary sky, searching for strength.

“I know you won’t decrease the amount of quarries you take. You’re too stubborn, and that’s part of why I love you. I never want to change you. I love you the way you are, even though we have our differences now. Din, we’ve simply outgrown each other’s needs. My place is no longer with you, at least for now it’s not,” you explain, shaking in the process.

“Your place will always be with me, cyar’ika. I love you, mesh’la,” Din sobs. “And I love you too, Din. I always will. But I need to let you go, let you finish what you need to do. I’ll be here on Nevarro so I’ll see you around whenever you drop by. My love for you will never fade. Who knows? Maybe one day, you’ll come back to me,” you choke. He embraces you even tighter, afraid you might disappear.

“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, my love. I’m so sorry,” you whisper as you lean down to press a kiss to his helmet. You struggle to unwrap yourself from his grasp. His hands fall to his sides as he looks up at you. “I love you,” you whisper before running off.

Din kneels there for what feels like eternity. “Mando?” Karga’s voice pulls him out of his trance, causing him to rise to his knees. “You knew,” Din says. “I only found out today,” Karga says, clapping a hand on Din’s armor. He shakes it off as if he’d been shot. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t work with traitors,” Din huffs. “I’d be careful of the next words you choose if I were you,” Karga threatens. Din grumbles under his breath.

“Come on. Let’s go talk about that special bounty. Don’t let her departure be for nothing,” he says, holding a hand out to Din. Begrudgingly shaking it, the two men walk off to the cantina to discuss the quarry at hand.

Back on the ship, Din inputs the coordinates for the most-wanted quarry in all the galaxies. His heart shattered into dust, chest feeling hollow in your absence. The ship roars to life as it ascends, Din navigating through the galaxies. Once on track to Arvala-7 and at a steady pace, Din puts the Razor Crest into hyperspace.

He descends the ladder. He’s never felt so empty before. Not since before he met you. Removing his helmet, he trudges into the refresher splashing ice cold water on his face. Stepping back into the ship, he rounds the corner and plops himself onto the cot. A deep sigh rumbles from deep within his soul. He attempts to get comfortable until he feels something hard underneath the pillow. Lifting his head, he reaches under the pillow and feels around for whatever is poking him. Grasping a hold of something, he yanks it from underneath.

His heart stops and his ears ring, deep silence pierces the ship. It’s a note with something enfolded inside. “My love” the front of the note reads. He opens it, a gasp shuddering from his lips. It’s the bracelet he gifted to you after capturing his very first quarry on your first hunt together, the one you wore daily since then. The two of you, younger and more spry. So in love, you looked like a pair of fools. He unfolds the note.

“I love you, Din. I always will. Please don’t ever forget that. This bracelet is a reminder of the moment I knew I loved you. The day we said it aloud. I love you forever. -Your cyar’ika.” He can’t contain the sob that rattles in his soul. Call him selfish, but he hopes he can come back to you one day - hopes he can make you his forever. He lost you once, he won’t lose you twice. Clutching the bracelet, he recalls the sweet memory.

“Cyar’ika?” Din called out to you, your sweet humming rings through the ship and out into the open air, penetrating the barren planet. You insisted on keeping the ramp open, the scorching heat of the planet you stayed on growing overwhelming in the sealed ship.

“In here, my love!” You call out to him from within the Razor Crest. Grunting catches your attention, making you drop the ration pack you were just about to open. Din lugs a quarry up the ramp and into the cargo hold, freezing it in carbonite.

A smile plasters your face as you praise him. “Your first quarry! I’m so proud of you, my love!” You cheer, applauding him. His modulated laugh is like music to your ears. “Thank you, mesh’la,” he says, wiping his gloves on his flight-suit before walking over to you.

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flushed against his rusted armor. “I couldn’t have done it without you, my cyar’ika,” he says huskily in your ear. Your smile grows even wider. “I’ll always be here to cheer you on, my love,” you say, toothy smile adorning your face. He brushes a gloved hand against your cheek.

“Close your eyes,” he whispers. You quickly do so, excitedly puckering your lips for what typically comes next. You feel him shift around a bit, fiddling with his sides, making your brows and nose scrunch in confusion. “Open them, cyar’ika.”

You crack them open, confused as to why he didn’t kiss you until you see what he’s holding in his hand. A silver bracelet, a small single charm dangling from it. You gasp as you realize what the charm symbolizes, tears welling in your eyes. It’s Din’s signet - a mudhorn. “Where did you get this? How did you get this? This must’ve cost a fortune, Din,” you whisper through your tears as you gently caress the bracelet in your hand.

“I’ve had it for a while, cyar’ika. And don’t worry about the cost, I’d buy you every galaxy if I could. It’s what you deserve,” he tells you. “What did I ever do to deserve this, my love?” He caresses your cheek once more. “You put up with me.” Your lips pull into a frown. “I don’t put up with you, Din. I love you.” The words leave you before you realize you’re saying them.

Stunned silence punches the air. “Close your eyes,” Din says. “I-,” He cuts you off. “Close your eyes, cyar’ika,” he says more firmly. You do as he asks. The hissing of his helmet rings in your ears. Suddenly, you feel a familiar pressure on your lips, the one you’d waited for earlier.

Din crashes his lips onto yours, capturing them in a hungry, ferocious kiss. You gasp as this one feels different than the rest. His tongue slips inside your mouth, moaning into him. Your knees buckle, but Din catches you before you can fall. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, desperate to be consumed by him. His large, thick gloved hands roam your back, sending chills up your spine.

You pull back, chest heaving as you gasp for air as you keep your eyes closed. He presses his warm, sweaty forehead against yours. “I love you too,” he whispers. You can hear the smile in his voice, giggling at his words.

“Say it again,” you ask. “I love you,” he says, pressing a peck to your cheek. “Again,” you giggle. “I love you,” pecking your other cheek. “Again.” “I love you,” pecking your nose. “Again,” you laugh louder this time. He muffles it with a firm kiss to your lips.

“I love you, cyar’ika,” he says, pulling away and scooping you up, spinning you around in his arms. You squeal with laughter as you throw your head back, holding onto his head and eyes remaining closed. He laughs with you before setting you down.

“I love you, Din Djarin. Forever, my love,” you sigh. “Forever, my cyar’ika.”

this was my first time writing angst with no happy ending and omg, as a hopeless romantic, it hurt! 😭 but i did enjoy writing this! i’m super proud of it 🥹

i do have a happy din djarin one shot in the works, i promise! it’s a slow burn full of fluff and mutual pining 🤭

should i write a part 2 for these two? perhaps a reunion and they live happily ever after… or another sad ending? 🫣 wondering how Cyar’ika would react when she sees Din has adopted a son… hmmm… 💭

thanks for reading! 🫶🏼

tag list: @gracieheartsspedro @undrthelights @jenispunk @nostalxgic @mandoisapunk @amanitacowboy @bastardmandennis @party-hearses @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @tinygarbage

#din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin one shot #the mandalorian one shot #din djarin angst #din djarin fluff

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