#source: pearls before swine

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Miranda, walking into the Ares cabin: What're you two watching? Clarisse, not looking away from the screen: Hockey. Miranda: I didn't know you liked hockey. Sherman: Oh, we love hockey. Except for those boring interludes where they skate around trying to hit the black thing. Miranda: ...you mean the puck. Clarisse, screaming at the television: FIGHT, YOU TIME-WASTING FIGURE SKATERS, FIGHT!

[the-black-bulls]

Vanessa: You know, Gauche, I have to say, you’ve been a lot more empathetic lately. Why so?

Gauche: Well, Gordon wrote the phrases “that’s too bad”, “I hear you” and “I know how you feel” on this little piece of paper and I randomly spew one out every time one of you pauses.

[splat-inkrusted-blog]

Four: SPLATNET BANNED MY POSTS AND VIOLATED MY RIGHTS!

Three: Those rights only apply to stuff the government does..

Four: So Splatnet isn't the government?

Three: no.

Four: ... So are they more like a deity?

~~~~~

Cap 3: I- No? How are you confused about this? You've had the highest education out of all of us!

Four: No, You're the ... thing you just said!

Eight: They stayed up until nearly Two O'clock in the morning and in her drowsiness mistook my painkillers for her own medication.

Eight: The Doctors said they should be alright, just make sure to keep an eye on them and to not let it happen again, and in case of emergency, contact them immediat- *Grabbing Four* NO! FOUR! DON'T EAT YOUR HAND!

Four: *With her fist in her mouth*MMMMPH!

Cap 3: ... How long will this last?

Eight: *Struggling against Four* It will definitely be over tomorrow!

[sariahsue]

Adrien: Y’know, Plagg, you’ve been so understanding lately. Why is that?

Plagg: Well, Tikki wrote the phrases “That’s too bad,” “I hear you,” and “I know how you feel” on this little piece of paper and I randomly spew one out every time you pause.

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Calli: What are you supposed to be?

Ina, wearing a pinstripe suit and with a thin moustache painted on her face: Vito Corleone. I’m going to a Mob costume party.

Calli: A Mob costume party?

Ina: Yeah. And this is a statue of Jimmy Hoffa. Ame made it for me. I bring one every year.

Calli: What for?

Ina: At the end of the party the mobsters blow it up. There’s a little fuse in his head. But I think we need to change the design.

Kiara: Why is that?

Ina: Because people are always re-doing the fuse to make it shorter. That way it blows up right when they light it.

Kiara: But that’s not safe.

Ina: I know. That’s why I’m changing it.

Kiara: What are you gonna do?

Ina: I’m gonna make them a Hoffa they can’t re-fuse.

[hxuse-xf-black]

Louis, walking into the living room: What're you two watching? Victoire, not looking away from the screen: Hockey. Louis: I didn't know you liked hockey. Dominique: Oh, we love hockey. Except for those boring interludes where they skate around trying to hit the black thing. Louis: ...you mean the puck? Victoire, screaming at the television: FIGHT, YOU TIME-WASTING FIGURE SKATERS, FIGHT!

[soullessbullshit]

Mannimarco: I wish to be immortal.

Worm Cultist: That’s certainly how I think of you, sir.

Mannimarco: Thank you, peon.

Mannimarco: [leaves the room]

Mannimarco:

Mannimarco: [comes back]

Mannimarco: “Immortal.” With a T.

Worm Cultist: That won’t be as easy for you, sir.

[hellomissmedia]

Butters: I worry too much about what others think of me.

Tolken: You just need to let them know that you're your own person and don't need their judgement.

Butters: Thanks!

Butters:

Butters: I wonder how they'll take that.

[incorrectpowerrangersquotes]

Kapri: I'm thinking about pushing you off a tall cliff and filming what happens. Marah: What for? Kapri: Cause then I can get on one of those "shocking video" shows and be famous. Marah: But I could get hurt. Kapri: There's no "I" in "team".

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

M’khiin: When people are rude to you, be above it all.

M’khiin: That way you can drop things on their heads.

Jaheira: That is not what that means.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Risky: Would you betray a friend for personal gain or profit?

Pirate Master: Profit.

Pirate Master: ...ah. I thought that was multiple choice.

[aslightlydifferentchristmascarol]

Scrooge: We enter this world alone, we leave this world alone.

Marley: BUT IN BETWEEN WE'VE GOT ROAST BEEF!

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

Porky: What are you duh-dee-eh-duh-dee-doing, Daffy?

Daffy: Handing out free books to whomever wants one.

Porky: Well, that's vuh-veh-eeh-vuh-veh-very kind. What made you want to suh-seh-eeh-suh-seh-share the joy of eh-buh-dee-eh-buh-dee-book reading?

Daffy: Because every problem I've ever had has been caused by an idiot.

Porky: Somehow even your guh-geh-eeh-guh-geh-good deeds sound bad.

Daffy: (throwing a book at Elmer) READ, MORON, READ!

[subspacecadet]

Steven: Would you betray a freind for personal gain or profit?

Rick: Profit

Rick:... Oh sorry I thought that was multiple choice.

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Peter: We enter this world alone, we leave this world alone.

Kaspar: BUT IN BETWEEN WE'VE GOT SOUP!

[incorrect-hgs]

Snapdragon: Do you care what others think of you?

Amaryllis: Nope, they can think whatever they want about me!

Amaryllis: ...But if they express those thoughts I'll punch em' in the face.

Snapdragon: Wow, that was almost mature of you.