incorrectteyvatism

[incorrectteyvatism]

Chasca: Please tell me you didn't do something bad.

Mualani: Yeah, I did! It was really fun!

[incorrectteyvatism]

"What is it with people wanting to kill me lately? I'm starting to take it personally."

—Traveler, probably

[incorrectteyvatism]

Capitano: Do I look like I'm joking?

Childe: You never look like you're joking.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Iansan: Shouldn't we do something about the fire?

Mavuika: Just leave it, it'll tire itself eventually.

[incorrectteyvatism]

"I glitter when I'm nervous."

—Furina, probably

[incorrectteyvatism]

Sethos: None of my friends get me. They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a dude.

Sethos: Well, a couple.

Sethos: But I mean, it's 2025! Can't two or four dudes make out without being gay?

[incorrectteyvatism]

Yae: What are you doing—

Ei [putting an egg in the toaster and the bread in the frying pan]: I'm making breakfast.

Yae: Yeah, I'm not hungry.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Gaming: What's this?

Lan Yan: That's my knitting group. We were known as the K.W.A. Knitters With Attitude.

[incorrectteyvatism]

"When my time comes, I want to be buried face down. That way, whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass."

—Kaeya, probably

[incorrectteyvatism]

Arlecchino, about Columbina: Cute? She was the reason faces were invented.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Citlali: You didn't wake me up.

Ororon: I set the clock.

Citlali: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall, giving me ample time to fall back asleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the wake up process.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Lynette: Lyney, how did Father die?

Lyney: Cats ate her face.

Lynette: No, Lyney. I'm asking about Father.

Lyney: Cats ate her face.

Lynette: Look, will you just put Freminet on the phone?

Lyney: [hands the phone to Freminet]

Freminet: Hello?

Lynette: How did Father die?

Freminet: Cats ate her face. Here, talk to Lyney, he knows more about it than I do.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Tighnari: How's your day, Collei?

Collei: Pretty good actually! I stubbed my toe and cried for 30 minutes. How was your day?

[incorrectteyvatism]

Kokomi: Meet me in front of the Sangonomiya Shrine in thirty minutes if you want an ass-kicking.

[incorrectteyvatism]

Yun Jin: I thought the moment would just pass, like that time you decided you were going to wear skinny jeans.

Xinyan: That was a private conversation.

[incorrectteyvatism]

i need the nod krai characters to come out like right NOW so i could put them in the most out of context quotes ever like i could make personality guesstimates for varka and alice but everybody else is completely unknown to me. i need one of them (flins) to be utterly and unintentionally hilarious in a very dry and deadpan way

[incorrectteyvatism]

Kaeya: I can't believe I'm single on Valentine's Day.

Venti: Well, you know what they say. Roses are red, violets are blue...

Kaeya: Don't.

Venti [holds up a bottle]: Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.