#source: cyanide and happiness

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Engineer: Did you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Scout: Wow, my dad must really love me!

Spy: *starts violently choking on his cigarette*

[danganronpafakes]

Yasuhiro: Did you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Kyoko: Wow, my dad must really love me!

Source: Cyanide and Happiness

[incorrect-kaishinshi]

Kaito: *drinks an entire bottle of soda, throws it over his shoulder*

Kaito: Hey beautiful, do you like bad boys?

Shiho: No.

Kaito: *sweeps up the mess*

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Tav: Gale, is Mystra real?

Gale: Oh, Tav. Of course she’s real...REAL LAME! *gives the sky the double bird*

Mystra: FUCK YOU, GALE.

[weirdkev27]

Loona: My dad could beat up your dad!

Octavia: No way, my dad would win!

Loona:*bringing over Blitzo* Okay Dad, get him!

Octavia:*bringing over Stolas* Fight!

Blitzo:….

Stolas:….

*the two start making out. To Loona and Octavia’s horror*

[superiorsturgeon]

Random White Fang grunt #1: *glumly sitting on prison bus* So…what do you think it’s going to be like in prison…?

Random White Fang grunt #2: I’ve got a plan! I’m gonna beat up the toughest-looking guy there and earn the respect of everyone else!

After arrival…

WF grunts: *step off bus and look around*

WF grunt #2: There…!

Jaune: *covered in tattoos and enjoying his prison chili* 😊

WF grunt #2: *rushes up and punches Jaune unconscious*

WF grunt #2: ���

Adam: Hey! That jerk beat up Big-Hug Jaune!

Tyrian: But Jaune’s the nicest guy in prison!

Mercury: Let’s kick his ass!

Various RWBY villains: *surround WF grunt #2* 😠

WF Grunt #2: 😨

Scene of incredible violence!

[angelhareincorrectquotes]

Gabby: Did you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Jonah: Wow, my dad must really love me!

[incorrectmusicaltheatre]

Graverobber: What’s wrong? Shilo: It’s Rotti. He has a horrible addiction and it’s killing my family. Graverobber: I’m so sorry. What’s he addicted to? Shilo: Killing my family.

[incorrect-idolmastersidem-quotes]

Jiro: Did you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Rui: Wow, Mister Hazama must really love me!

[crybabycunt]

Kate: I'm afraid you only have 10 minutes to live.

Enemy: How do you know?

Yelena: Because I’m giving you a head start.

[very-uncorrect]

Narrator found out who removed the door in the skip button ending rip

[ineffableghost]

Pepper leaned forward, also resting her elbows on her knees. "What's the difference between good and evil?" "The uniform," Crowley quipped. She scowled at him, and the rest of the Them sat up and paid attention too. "I'm serious." "And you don't go for easy questions either." Crowley looked her square in the eye. "I wasn't exactly joking. It's long, and complicated, and gets very fuzzy around the edges." "Try us." Crowley felt Adam's eyes on him too, and grimaced, lips parting instinctively to taste the air for danger, snake-fashion. "S'how you look at something that defines whether you consider it good or evil. Doesn't matter if the coin comes down heads or tails, still got the same value. Different times have different values and consider different things evil. Not much stays the same there, given long enough. The only thing that does really, is if you treat people as people with all the free will that implies, or if you treat people as things." He smelt/tasted dead leaves, and human, and damp dog with the faintest whiff of sulphur-undertone, and distant cowpat, and damp tree, and damp stone. No danger there that he could sense. Adam sighed. "Why would someone make people and then get angry when they act like people anyhow?" "Aziraphale would tell you that it's ineffable." Crowley shifted, stretching out one leg, then the other. "Personally? Likely because they think of people as things. Good has to persuade people to choose it, Evil is happy to force things into line. S'why it's easier to slide to Evil than to climb to Good. Life's never really about being wholly good or evil anyway, not for humans. It's about finding the balance point between the push and pull of them that works for you." ... Pepper was frowning. Adam just looked thoughtful. Brian and Wensleydale looked thoroughly out of their depth. Crowley hissed a sigh through his teeth and then produced an apple in his hand. Maybe metaphor would work where direct explanation didn't. "There is nothing of this Earth that is entirely one or the other. Look. Apple. Considered good, sweet, healthy, yes? Also represents original sin - the stolen Knowledge of Good and Evil. Couldn't have one without the other." He split it neatly into top and bottom halves, revealing the star shape in its centre and a dark pip. Even Fallen, the thing the once-maker of stars was best known for was, at heart, a star. Probably part of that ineffable divine sense of humour. "And the pips here? Well, they're a source of poison. Cyanide. Killed lots of people in its more pure form. One pip alone isn't going to hurt, mind you, but you eat a couple pounds of pips at once and you're in trouble." He split the halves again and passed over the four apple pieces to be eaten by the kids. They bit in cheerfully, and watched him. He shrugged. "Same goes for people. I've met people responsible for mass-murders - millions of deaths, minimum - who loved their families and painted pretty pictures. I've met people that humans generally consider good that did some very nasty things behind everyone's backs. And I've had far too many commendations from Hell about Evil being done by people convinced they're doing Good, to take people's word for what they are." Adam sighed too. "The vicar here says Heaven is all Good and Hell is all Evil." "That's a very popular way of looking at things," Crowley said dryly, "both here and in those places. Like I said before, the difference is the uniform." He looked up suddenly, sensing "angel approaching", and spotted Aziraphale picking his way down the slope. "Uniforms are black and white. The people wearing them - not so much."

From: Take My Heart (But Not My Hand)

[literatureloverx]

Chère Mlle Blanche-Neige,

We are continuing the letter format and doing so in French, as you said you learned it. Your alias also sounds rather lyrical in the language. I know I am getting a little out of order with responding to the previous points, but I find it admirable that you still put in the effort of trying to learning different languages to begin with. I wish you the best of luck in your Russian learning endeavors. What other languages are you learning or already know?

In regard to the way I think, I don't really know any other way of thinking. This is essentially me: https://www.tumblr.com/tazmiilly/699773430419030016/me-does-it-always-have-to-be-that-serious-the?source=share

I definitely think emotional difficulties are harder to handle, seeing as they are, by definition, not ruled by rationality. My reluctance in seeking aid from others primarily stems from struggles with trust and vulnerability, for the most part. That being said, I greatly appreciate your offer of support.

Yes, I enjoy Obi-Wan's wit and sarcasm immensely. Qui-Gon is certainly more free-spirited, and he's a good choice, in my biased opinion. I recently went on a rant about how Obi-Wan and Anakin would have likely fared better with more of Qui-Gon's guidance.

The matriculation issue sounds like a pain, although art history is a fascinating subject. I would love to hear about your favourite topics or anything else you wish to share. I actually study psychology, but I hope to branch out into something more forensics/pathology related. Are you thinking of becoming a psychologist more in the clinical/counseling sense or focus on research? Although marrying rich and not having to deal with financial concerns would be relieving. I am sure any wealthy husband would find you to be a gorgeous and engaging conversationalist and would be happy to spoil you to your heart's content.

Looking at your other asks and posts now, you truly have such refined tastes; this time I am referring to your choice in perfume. Even the bottle looks classy, and the blood red is on theme with poisoned apples. I would not know how it smells like, but the descriptions of it sound decadent. It's not just sweet with cherry, but also has a bit of delicateness in the floral notes (Turkish rose, jasmine) and a darker, fleshiness (bitter almond- which can be poisonous with cyanide). I daresay it suits you, but that is also just me infusing metaphor in the mundane. Are you knowledgeable in fragrances and the like? I really ought to look into it more. If you have any recommendations for me in regard to particular notes or anything along those lines, I am open to suggestions of any kind.

Somehow you gushing about scarred men even though it is primarily in reference to Fyodor makes me feel a little better about myself. I have many and wear a mask most of the time. Also, I feel a strange sense of pride in being your second-tied-with-first favourite astrological sign (Aquarius). As I have said above, you have excellent taste.

You are free to ask questions about me, of course. I enjoy answering, and I could always choose not to answer if you are worried about making me uncomfortable. If they are of a more personal nature or if there are many, you know where my inbox is. I would not want to intrude on your space on here too much. My letters are long enough as is haha.

— 🫀 Cœur anon

(An aside: I still wonder about this favourite anon you mentioned having. Shall we conduct a witch hunt to identify him? I will respect your wishes in not trying to guess, but I really am curious.)

Cher monsieur 🫀Cœr anon,

I do like being called “dear,” so the French opening fits rather perfectly. Knowing you’re reading French literature, it is also quite flattering. ♥️

It’s actually quite sweet of you to acknowledge my efforts. Personally, my mindset tends to be more along the lines of “if there are no results, then it’s meaningless” when it comes to myself, and when it comes to others, I share your thoughts. I’m curious whether you see things the same way for yourself as you do for others.

I don’t actually know too many languages, or at least I don’t think I do, since I tend to be inconsistent with learning them at times. However, the languages I speak, from most to least fluent, are Turkish (my mother tongue), German (I moved to Germany when I was 8, so it’s essentially a second mother tongue for me), English (I have to thank Germany’s school system for pushing us to be very proficient in English; otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to attend university, haha), French (I could probably be a mediocre speaker if I picked it up again, since I can still understand some conversations and haven’t completely forgotten it. I was doing fine with it, as it was our second foreign language in high school. Maybe one day I’ll pick it up again), Russian (I can hold basic conversations, and I learned to write in cursive since it’s written differently from block letters. I also have a Russian friend who says I have a good accent when pronouncing words, but I think she’s just being sweet and boosting my confidence, haha), and I can speak “tourist-level” Japanese, but I wouldn’t even consider it a language I can speak due to my limited ability. (As an aside, I’m also curious whether you speak any other languages besides English.)

I also relate very much to this link you shared, and I think it’s a great way of showcasing your way of thinking, very much what I would’ve expected, haha.

I completely understand where you’re coming from. Trusting others and being vulnerable can be incredibly difficult. But you don’t have to go through anything alone if you don’t want to. I won’t dwell on this unless you want me to, because I can sense the same “discomfort” that you feel when I open up myself.

Perhaps I could make it easier overall by taking myself as an example: It could definitely be the fear of being abandoned if you say too much or reveal too much, because not everyone has the same “no matter what happens, I’ll be there” mindset that I maintain. I’m wondering if that might be the case for you too? *carefully, without wanting to project any issues I have onto you* Also, for the supporting part, I completely mean everything I say.

I think, for Anakin, Qui-Gon was the only one who truly saw his potential and believed in his destiny as the Chosen One (and I think Obi-Wan believed in this too, but only because Qui-Gon did?). His death created a gap in Anakin’s guidance, and without that steady influence, Anakin became more vulnerable to the Dark Side (and, of course, to manipulation). For Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was both a mentor and a father figure, shaping his approach to the Force. If Qui-Gon hadn’t died, he might have been the one to guide Anakin in a way that could’ve kept him on the right path, possibly altering the entire fate of the Jedi Order (or maybe I’m overthinking this, haha).

I really enjoyed studying medieval art because it has so many facets. It focuses on the development of architectural styles, sculpture, and painting from the early Middle Ages to the Gothic period, while also highlighting the cultural, social, and religious contexts that shaped artistic expression during that time. And, if you couldn’t tell, I love uncovering things. Haha. Speaking of which, I also have an immense love for any painting that depicts Shakespeare’s Ophelia—she was frequently portrayed during the Victorian era, especially in paintings.

As for psychology, yes, that’s exactly what I’d like to do because, well, I’m quite the listener, aren’t I? (Apologies for the cheekiness, haha). Though I’d also find research fascinating. I just think the world needs more therapists who genuinely care, especially since I’ve seen/heard of too many who pretend to care without actually doing so.

I also think your pursuits are amazing, and I’m sure you would truly shine in that field. By the way, how did you come to the conclusion to pursue psychology? I remember you mentioning that you could’ve (or kind of wanted to) study medicine. I’d love to hear more about that if you’re comfortable sharing, of course.

I’m glad you agree with the whole ‘marrying rich’ idea, because whenever I joke about it with people, they’re always so flabbergasted, haha. It’s also really sweet of you to say that, but I’m honestly not sure a rich husband (and willing to spoil? Must be an angel on earth haha) would be interested in me. Besides… I’d have to find him first. Considering how introverted I am and how little I go out, I’ll probably stick to my original plan. But it’s always nice to dream, right? Maybe it’s not so impossible after all.

You’re really pampering me with so much appreciation, thank you very much. 🥺 I’m glad you think my perfume suits me, especially since I spent such a long time searching for one that truly captures my taste. I would also like to thank you again for genuinely putting so much effort into understanding me. I find your ability to dissect the fragrance of my perfume to understand me better to be very delightful.

I would’ve loved to give you a better insight into the fragrances, but I’m unfortunately not really knowledgeable about them, and sadly even less knowledgeable in male fragrances. But when I’m going by your personality, I think sandalwood and/or cedar-based perfumes might suit you. Though, I think it’s a completely different matter how the scent harmonises with your own scent. I’ve realised, for example, that my perfume smells a tad bit sweeter on me than my friends who have tried it — this is why I would say that a perfume is truly a signature because it’s never only the perfume itself.

About my scarred men post, you could imagine me as this emoji here: 😍

I hope this makes you feel even better because personally, I don’t think that scars are something to feel bad about at all. In fact, I think that this is something that sets you apart and makes you unique, and I don’t think that this uniqueness is in any way something to be considered negative. I do have a love for scars for a reason. I also find them aesthetically pleasing (I hope this doesn’t sound weird of me, haha).

If you feel more comfortable wearing a mask, I think that’s alright as well because the most important thing is you feeling good about yourself. Though it would break my heart if you’re wearing it because you think you look undesirable.

In my opinion, your personality alone is enough to have people at your feet (and this time, I’m not being dramatic). Yes, I may be someone who occasionally gives motivational speeches to cheer people up, but I always mean what I say. I’m not sure if I should ask questions about this here, in your inbox, or at all, since I don’t know how sensitive this topic is for you, so I might need a bit of guidance here (though, since you brought it up, you’re probably okay with discussing it? As you can see, I’m rather overthinking).

Also… I have excellent taste because I like Aquarians, if I’m understanding this correctly? I would have to agree with you. This must be one of the reasons why I liked interacting with you from the start. Though, I must say, you seem to hold me in such high regard… which is rather flattering and sweet but also a bit intimidating because I’d hate to disappoint you.

I should probably make a list of everything I’m curious about you, and I might start by using the ask game you posted. Also, as you can probably tell, some people aren’t really concerned about intruding on my blog, so you, of all people, don’t need to worry about that. I actually enjoy reading your letters and eagerly await them, so there’s no need to worry at all. I must admit, I feel a sense of pride as well, knowing that you are taking the time to engage with me on my blog, especially since you have mentioned before that you feel out of your element.

This may be a bit random, but I simply adored the music video you shared on your blog. It left such an impression on me when I first saw it, and I’ve been listening to it ever since. If you have any other recommendations in that style, I’d be delighted to hear them.

(I’m sure conducting a witch hunt might be entertaining, but won’t hunting yourself down be rather boring for you? It’s you, of course! ♥️)

[incorrect-kaishinshi]

Shiho: Did you know that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Shinichi: Wow, my parents must really love me.

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Garrick: I ate the "do not eat" packet in the pepperoni... am I going to die?

Xan: Well, everyone will die at some point.

Garrick: EVERYONE? Oh gods, what have I DONE!?

[thehollowwriter]

🆚️ and 🏘 for Finn!

🏘️where's your happy place?

"Hmmm. The kelp forest that surrounds my house. It's dark and completely silent. There's only the gentle sawing of the kelp and the fish and crustaceans around. It's very peaceful."

🆚are you competitive?

"I wouldn't say so. At least, not as competitive as Azul or other Night Raven students. I strive to do my best, of course, but I'm not obsessed with winning or being the best. I find it quite an unnecessary source of stress to think that way. ...Don't tell Azul I said that."

Tagging: @distant-velleity @galaxies-and-gore @kitwasnothere @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @the-banana-0verlord @br3adtoasty