#sounds patronising of me tbh

[sleepyagent]

Fuck, only imagining kissing you still makes my heart jump a bit🤡

[pekuliar]

doodle totally not based on irl stuff if ur wondering why only Reigen is genderbent. I can only hope no one who knows me irl is on this hell site !!!

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Isabela for the first impression meme 😊

[ask game]

Heya! thank you for the ask! c:

Isabela

First impression: Oh, great, the standard sexualised female probably-meant-as-default-romance-for-male-hawke companion! I know who i'm not romancing out of spite alone :^) (her entrance kicks ass though)

Impression now: Bestie. Beloved. <333 I was very positively surprised about the depths of her character and she's sooo. She cares so so much and it scares her that she cares so much but she learns to do it anway and augh. I care her. Also arguably the only the most emotionally intelligent person in DA2

Favorite moment: When she comes back after bailing with the tome. It goes against all her instincts, she is terrified and she knows that she is putting her life on the line but she came back

Idea for a story: Sth about her and Zevran! Angsty and dramatic or just shenanigans, before DA2 or during or after idc, but i'd love to see more of them

Unpopular opinion: Hmm, only opinion that i can think of that might be unpopular is that i actually really like Isabela's relationship with Aveline. I know a lot of people say they hate each other/ are horrible to each other but i didn't get that impression at all tbh? Or at least, i felt like they started rough but by Act 2 they're bros.

Favorite relationship: Her and Merrill (platonic or romantic idc) <3 Except for a couple dialogue lines that feel a bit too patronising to me (which i. kinda blame on the game being patronising towards Merrill in general) their relationship is so good and sweet and also they are a hella scary duo. And Bela's relationship with Zevran also makes me really soft ngl

Favorite headcanon: If you know me you know i love silly HCs lolol, and i love the HC that she did wear pants and Varric either didn't notice because they're brown and he is silly, or because he's colourblind, or wrote it like that because he was being petty about losing a bet to her or something. Also love the HC that she and Zevran officially married so that she could have his last name bc she thought it sounded badass (and/or to officially rid herself of her old husband's last name)

[legerdomain]

thoughts on Cookie Mastersons many illnesses

Hi thank you Tumblr user Queenie weaponsdrawn. I think he's got this weird situation of repressing it but like he's only got so many that i will disclose under the

TBH we all know he's like really borderline right cool alright we've already got that out of the way. but i also think he's a narcissist he's just not that open about it. i feel like this only gets shown in like fofts or guest questions stuff like that when we see him interact with Other People in general iirc there was question when raúl bringing in this girl he met and cookie just acted like this was So not worth his time and was weirdly patronising to the girl as if he found her an idiot. and that's not the only time he has done that LOL he just thinks he's above everyone. i like to think he was also like this during his sign-in host days it's just something he's not too vocal about it's just something you kinda pick up on (it's covert imo). when i said weird situation of repressing it it's just that it's repressed until it's not. And when it's not it's All over the pl

past all that i think he's like super dissociated in fibbage 4 he just sounds really really dead and lost ykwim. like he's not too sure what he's doing there at all/he doesn't know what he's doing there . y'know? i'm not sure how to phrase this one exactly. work with me here guys

adhd and autism aren't like mental illnesses it's more like neurological disorder stuff but i still like to think he's got that stuff going on... his attention span is god awful LOL. also i like to think he's got a special interest with dolls/puppets. because he used to like barbie when he was small and y'know billy o'brien and all that junk

idk if it may just be me but he also displays some disorganised speech going on here and there but this one feels more like a stretch but it's whatever. he's so messed-up-words for a guy who literally doesn't like reading. cookie masterson the ""vocab"" guy etc. wordplay. That time he was proud about being able to say the sally sea shells tongue twister. enter your name, or exit the building. See that's normal. and then you have "chip paints. chaint pips." and "you're playing cookie 4, i'm fibbage masterson, i've speech developed problems so started get let's." etc. etc (Even more messed up that that ones in fib4

if you have more to contribute you can always #DM me you literally have my discord right queenie. i love talkign about this stuff

[snaggletoothedbastard]

rating funny nicknames my best friend and i have been given/given ourselves

idk what this this i'm just bored

the gruesome twosome

our other friend called us this at drama club once

and then again the other day

it's a classic, i love it

especially when it's paired with "the awesome foursome" which is how this friend referred to himself and three of our other friends when we were all hanging out last week

the awesome foursome and the gruesome twosome

only a man drunk on rum and coke could come up with that

8/10, makes us sound like a cartoon villain duo

rosie and jim

based on our names and borrowed from the old children's show about those rag dolls, do y'all remember that?

he's scared shitless of it but i have a lot of nostalgia for it because i used to watch it with my grandparents when i was little

it's the name of our band

the band includes my sibling and now we call them "the boat" because rosie and jim live on a boat

7/10, it's fun but not the most creative because it's basically just our names

meat and bones

a joke nickname we came up with from a silly conversation we had a while ago

it's pretty accurate tbh, he's a boxer and is quite muscular whereas i look like i could be blown apart by a gust of wind

also it inspired that poem i wrote recently

7/10, it's kinda spooky but also weirdly cute for some reason? at least i find it cute

frodo and sam

*sounds of autistic joy*

i love this one so much

this one came from the same friend who called us the gruesome twosome

he said it while we were walking back to another friend's house from the beach in the middle of the night, when we were all a bit drunk and i couldn't see and my balance was atrocious as always so my best friend was helping me walk

he later carried me part of the way to our friend's house so like. that just made it even more accurate

10/10

and a bonus!

poor chicken

this is what my mum called my best friend over text when i told her he was ill the other day

it's simultaneously adorable and really weird

(he likes chickens, that's why she called him that)

i told him she said this and his only response was "bruh"

feels vaguely patronising but honestly shoutout to my mum for showing him the parental affection he deserves

bruh/10

[geenalovesthelittlethings]

This might be tmi but I need to tell someone; so last week, I hooked up with a guy, we were both drunk and we have mutual friends. When we were having sex, he orgasmed very quickly, (like too quickly😂) so I started to rub my C, to help me get off quicker as well. This man HATED that I did that, he got so defensive saying things like “you don’t think I’m good enough to get you off’ etc… why are men like this! 😡 if they had a pleasure spot, they would be touching it every second of the day!! (1)

(2) I didn’t want to come across patronising, but I was trying to explain that the C is literally there for pleasure only, and he just didn’t care. We were in doggy position, so even offered for him to rub (to see if that made him better), and he still got funny about it 😂 argh wish men would have an Anatomy lesson

Men are so WILD I stg. Yeah, like obviously he wasn't good enough to get you off. Because once he came, he should have turned his attention to taking care of you and tending to your own pleasure . I hate throwing around the 'real man' phrase but a real, decent man is going to care about your pleasure (and tbh he'd find you touching yourself hot in my opinion)! A lot of men I think still see women as just vessels for their own pleasure and don't think to care or know how to care about a women's pleasure or whatever they've been socially taught and then get defensive when confronted with that inadequacy. He sounds like a tool that needs to get over himself. I'm proud of you for advocating for yourself and your needs, baby!

[taeilskitty]

Hey there! I saw that you open for a request so here's what I thought : what kind of sound did nct make when having sex? Are they more into whimpers, groans, or maybe dirty talk? Thank you so much for answering my question and hope you have a good day!

i was BORN to answer this omg. lemme tell you, i have thought about this so SO much!! (i'm leaving chenji out of this bc i don't know how people feel about that yet)

anyways, i hope u enjoy and i hope this matches what you had in mind <3

taeil

oh fuck. taeil is most certainly a groaner. i think (and trust me, i've thought a lot) he must make these gorgeous low moans like right in the back of his throat if that makes sense - have you ever heard his bubble voice messages? oh my god, they're so fucking hot. his raspy voice in the middle of the night is just to die for. that makes me CONVINCED that he dirty talks super up close. even thinking about it makes me shiver :(( he's the king of praise, i just know it. i think he degrades too, but his favourite is when he mixes both together - "you look so pathetic there baby, how cute." "daddy loves his pretty slut so much." "god you're so fucking good for me, my cockslut~" taeil also asks things, i think that suits him so much. "yeah? you like that?" "is daddy's cock too big baby? shh, i'll be done soon..."

taeyong

whiner. whiner. undoubtedly. this boy has the sweetest, prettiest little moans... he gets all high pitched when he's close and oh god when he sinks into subspace he just mewls and his voice gets so weak </3 little "yes" and "a-ah thank you"s slip out because he such a good kitten. he's so precious... and if he gets asked to speak while he's getting fucked he just squeaks out an answer. "m.. love it... ah..." n he will never fail to say his please and thank yous - he's so well mannered even when hes getting used !!!

johnny

this is just. oh my. i think he's silent for the most part. heavy breathing and quiet grunts and groans until he's close. THAT'S when he starts moaning, all sorts of things slipping out. "god you're so good" "i love this hole so much" ahh??! i think he talks down too. fuck !!! daddy!johnny is so patronising, and not just outside of the bedroom. kinda like taeil, he asks things, but he makes u feel so dumb and cock drunk :( AH AND he like... coos when you feel all dazed from his cock... "awh~ is that good? you like that don't you sweetheart? yeah, i know."

yuta

i have this vision of yuta just SLAMMING from behind with his face right up in your ear, telling you all sorts of dirty things lowly with just the hottest voice ever. he's very vocal about what he wants, and he loves cumming inside... so expect him to talk about that. oh, he is so fucking possessive too. "hmm. mine. this is mine. you're mine." he probably bites your ear/neck when he says it... the grunts that come out when he slams are enough to send anyone reeling, but i bet he tells you "fuck. gonna. gonna cum in my fuckdoll--" n his voice just trails off as he fills you up and sighs<33

kun

now kun is !! an interesting one !! ... i envision him as a pretty hard dom, so i don't think he's any stranger to degrading. that being said, i think he's more talkative when he's giving punishments (e.g. spanking over his thigh... heaven<33) rather than when he's fucking. i think he moans lowly, semi-quietly but as he gets more and more pent up he gets louder. (i think this is the case for most of the nct doms but oh well) he'll praise how good you make him feel - assuming you've been behaved enough - but that doesn't stop him from cursing under his breath at every chance he gets ,,..

doyoung

definitely has pretty moans !! he probably does whine, but i mean that in a dom way - if that makes sense? higher pitched moans but not pathetic, in fact it's probably paired with him whispering "fuck yes, good [insert ur fave petname here]". i think he's the type to kiss you a lot during sex and like... moan into your mouth; any space not taken up by the sound of moans will for sure be filled with the sound of his panting and his tongue dancing with yours.

ten

another semi-whiner. i always saw him as a dom but i'm sliiightly succumbing to the idea that he may be a switch... which is why i think there's so much BEAUTY in his moans?? ten makes really pretty, breathy whines and moans i'm sure, i don't particularly think he talks a crazy amount but rather short instructions. (yes i'm going back to dom!ten) "turn around." "get on your knees" "quiet." AH !! he always lets you know what he needs - however, sub!ten will just whine and squirm till you make him cum because he is most definitely a slut who takes anything:(

jaehyun

first of all, this man wrecks me to the fucking core, and i could talk about this for... a while. but his moans are definitely like, raspy high-pitched type. think about his vocals. esp in try again... i bet you they sound like THAT. i'm sure he talks a bit too, tbh he probably says rather textbook dirty things but it sounds so fucking hot when it's him. "yeah take it, take my cock" "fuck yes just like that", he loves how you whine when he moans right up next to you btw - it just makes him do it even more. oh, and bonus - he will never call you ANYTHING without prefixing it with my or daddy's. daddy's girl, daddy's boy, daddy's pet, my dirty slut... ahh<3

winwin

it's almost contrasting to jaehyun but sicheng's voice is so low. i can't explain this in any way other than that he's kitty, but his moans are so... puppy? and when he's fucked, he makes himself sound so dumb too. he's constantly slurring his words and biting his lip because he's trying to keep quiet but anyone who walks by the room will hear "mm.. m!!" because he just can't help himself :( when he's close he probably squeaks like taeyong and cums all over the place GOD i want him

jungwoo

oh god there's no doubt that jungwoo talks SO much during sex. he probably loses his fucking mind with how good he feels. he's such a good boy but sometimes you just need him to shut up - but he can't. he squeaks out a little moan when you push into him, or when you start touching his cock, but withn minutes he's babbling non-stop; "oh god oh god mommy/daddy i love it so much, a-ah like that, please~"

lucas

my brain used to be convinced that xuxi was a dom, but i'm now sure he's a switch. either way, his moans are pretty much the same. they're very heavy and... i guess manly is the best way to put it. in my head i can literally picture him being like "ughhh..." when you start fucking because he just feels like he's wanted to fuck you so desperately - yes, even if you fucked hours before. it's always so breathy and moany and i think he sounds like a bit of a fuckboy tbh... "fuck yeah" as he slides his cock into you? THANKS

mark

loud baby loud baby LOUD BABY:((( no matter how much you cover that pretty mouth of his he will be so LOUD!! he can't stop talking and whining and panting, kinda like jungwoo but honestly... more. he swears a lot too. he tries not to but he just can't help himself :( "aw shit... god shit!!!" under his breath UGHHFDGGDFDD SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SCREAM !!! he's very polite though, so he always says sorry every single time :( he babbles like hell when he cums, he can't stop himself, again like jungwoo. "i'm gonna cum i'mgonnacumi- i'm -- ah fuck, shit--!!"

xiaojun

two words. action figure. everyone knew that was coming, HA - i'm sorry but THAT verse means we all know how he sounds. i think he tries his best to talk normally while you edge him but his little voice keeps on wavering and cracking and just... he can't help but sound all pretty and pathetic :( but surely dejun has some (very frequent) moments where he can't keep his front anymore and just whines like a whore because it feels so good<3

hendery

the things i'd let this man do to me:))) i think at first he'd actually try and hide his moans because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do, but no. for me personally, i know i would NOT LET THAT HAPPEN !! he probably sucks the air in through his teeth in an attempt to hide it - it's very fucking sexy when he does that, granted - but he can't keep doing that for long. i think he hums and laughs when he can't keep it in any longer because he almost feels some kinda defeat but then he just moans semi-loudly and lets out a "good girl/boy/baby... let me fuck you, huh?"

renjun

renjun scares the fuck out of me. why? because his moans are fairly quiet. he's master and it S H O W S. he grunts quietly, maybe muttering things under his breath like "so fucking tight" "mmh there you go..." to fill some silence but he does it subconsciously; he goes so far into domspace sometimes that he just can't control himself. when he's close he talks through his teeth and he's like "i'm. i'm gonna cum baby..."and the more you whine on his cock the more he just laughs at you because he's a sadist hhhhhhhhhhh.........

jeno

most definitely a fun one... you see when he's sub, he pants and whines and drools all over himself like a big dumb puppy boy and he just breathes so heavy n his moans are all shaky... if he's a brat he will try and talk big but he can't take it, he just gets so pathetic and !!! but dom jeno is fucking TERRIFYING because he talks down and tries his best to intimidate you. he chuckles and degrades you, but one of his faves is when he can big himself up under his breath. "look at you now. you love this fucking cock."

haechan

this isn't good for my mental health :) i fucking cannot TAKE this brat :) AHA! hyuckie is honestly such a whore, he's bratty and rude and always talks back at you like he's the king of the fucking world. he's constantly laughing at you and trying so hard to make you feel like you're not worthy but he feels so good he just gets fucked dumb by you :( he is SO loud too. he wants everyone to hear what a dirty whore he is and he makes sure he puts on his prettiest pornstar moans. he whines like his life depends on it. on the off chance that he's being a good boy, he begs and cries and whimpers when he finally cums - and i mean CRIES. sobs. he'll be heaving by the time you're done with him, but god he fucking loves it.

jaemin

fuck... fuck okay... well firstly he loves to talk. we all know how much he praises and how he's constantly showing his love off... that doesn't stop at fanservice, nope. he will fuck you like a ragdoll and keep calm and composed as ever, talking down to you as if you're in his lap for a soft cuddle. "baby loves nana so much hm~?" "oh you really love that don't you?" "you know you're so pretty. nana wants to cum in you so bad~" yes, he calls himself nana because he's a cocky fuck and loves how it sounds. especially when you're moaning it for him.

yangyang

i'm kinda in 2 minds about this... on the one hand, he's kinda like hyuckie in that he whines a LOT. but he can actually keep his composure - he's a breathy whiner, he's not quite as loud and he most certainy doesn't crumble as easily. (that's not to say that he can't, he most definitely can.) on the other hand i think when he's in a more neutral headspace rather than subby, he talks to you like a total fuckboy. not in a mean way but he's just like "hah. i know you love me fucking you like this." he gets so cocky and he sucks hickeys into your neck and hums quietly<3

shotaro

he's such a shy baby :( he wants to moan so much but he probably gets all self conscious and tries to hide it... so you gotta make him feel safe :( when he does he whimpers and it's so pretty and pathetic. the way he wells up with tears and hitches his breath is. adorable. he whispers "thank you... ah..." every time he feels that good and by the time he cums it's just falling from him like a waterfall :( the more comfortable he feels, though, the sluttier he can get... he will always be a good boy but i think he lets his whore side come out every once in a while <3

sungchan

last but most certainly not least, yet ANOTHER boy who pains me to the core. i think sungchan whimpers too. THERE I SAID IT. his cock is too big for his own good so he just... needs you to do SOMETHING to him :( he always sighs at first, maybe hissing just a little but then he gets to a point where he's quietly whimpering because he just needs to cum so fucking bad <//3 "need it... p-please..." he's always nervous to use titles but if he wants to cum he has no choice :( when his dom asks please who? he blushes bright red n mumbles a little "please mommy/daddy... 'm so good..." and god yes he is he deserves it so much ugh<33333333333333

[fernisworm]

Lycan!Karl Heisenberg x Reader Headcanons (Pt2)

[an;

sorry not sorry I literally had so many ideas even after my first post being 2385205489529387 words long LMAO

-

🎕 You can find Pt 1 here! (& Pt 3 here!)

❀ Characters: Lycan!Karl Heisenberg x (Gender Neutral!) Reader

❀ Warnings: Cursing (as always with Heisenberg lmao)

✿ You can find all my stories here!

✿ My requests guide is here! (And you can place a request here!)

-

🌟 Continuing on from the last post;

🌟 You found out the hard way that Karl can unintentionally “wolf-out” when he gets really worked up or angry

🌟 Especially when his emotions are hyped up bc of a full moon 

🌟 “Wolf-out” is the official term the two of you have come up with for it

🌟 It’s to help with communication more than anything tbh

🌟 i.e. “Do you feel like you’re going to wolf-out?”

🌟 Fun fact, Heisenberg does posses almost complete awareness while in lycan-form, although some full moons he returns home having little to no memory of the previous night

🌟 However complete awareness does not equal complete control 

🌟 His grip on control is usually pretty good tho, save for times when his emotions are out of check (or if there are any wacky moon events)

🌟 Karl actually doesn’t spend a lot of full moons in the factory 

🌟 As mentioned before the environment is really overwhelming for him around full moons

🌟 But occasionally he finds himself needing to stay with you, since your presence grounds him and overall just calms him down 

🌟 He never admitted this to you (obviously smh) but you figured it out eventually lmao 

🌟 But fr, sometimes he becomes so sensitive and easily overwhelmed by sounds/smells that he will just need to hold ur hand to keep himself present and in the moment 👉👈

🌟 And you usually let him without another word, but other times you like to tease him a lil about it hehe

🌟 “Aw does the big bad wolf man need to hold my wittle hand? Well, if you must :]”

🌟 One full moon he felt the incessant need to stay home because he literally just felt so distant and out of it

🌟 You offered to sleep beside him because you knew his ego was too massive for him to actually ask

🌟 Actually seemed very glad and relieved that you did end up offering

🌟 You didn’t tell him that halfway through the night he transformed and basically snuggled into you like a helpless puppy

🌟 It was very cute and you appreciated the warmth 

🌟 At some point in the night he ended up transforming back while you were asleep

🌟 You knew if you told him about it he would never stay home on a full moon ever again so now you just keep that in your back pocket for an emergency lmao

🌟 You actually???? Give him lots of nicknames that are like,,, canine related??? and he hates it but maybe secretly loves some of them????

🌟 Nicknames include (but are not limited to);

🌟 Rover, Muttley, Fur-Face, Wolf-Boy, Remus, Wolfgang (he hates that this one has genuine German origins LMAO), Fluffy, Big Bad Wolf, Stray, etc

🌟 You can bet he despises when you patronise him with “good boy”

🌟 Almost bit you once bc of it, man wasn’t playin

🌟 One time when you were visiting Alcina for your monthly girl’s night you accidentally spilled the beans on Karl having fleas

🌟 SHE LITERALLY CALLED HEISENBERG ON THE PHONE WHILE YOU WERE STILL AT HER HOUSE AND HE SOUNDED SO DEAD INSIDE

🌟 “Hey little brother, your little pet-parent here just informed me that you have fleas? Man that must suck, imagine having fleas I bet you’re rabid too 🤢🥰🥰”

🌟 “....Tell (Y/n) not to come home tomorrow 💀💀“

🌟 He literally wouldn’t talk to you for a week LMAO

🌟 You were actually curious on why Heisenberg wasn’t worried about you catching his fleas 

🌟 He explained that they weren’t regular fleas and they didn’t care for regular human/animal blood, and that they were basically fleas hopped up on Cadou effects and only liked the blood of those infected

🌟 This list included anyone affected by the Cadou, including Karl and the other lycans

🌟 After explaining this to you Heisenberg realised that Lady Dimitrescu was a prime candidate for “Cadou fleas”

🌟 He may or may not have planted fleas in her house as a revenge ploy

🌟 It’s safe to say that Alcina helped you de-flea Karl after that

🌟 Sometimes Heisenberg feels really segregated from you because he’s part lycan and he feels like you can’t relate to his problems a lot and vice versa

🌟 During one of these rare occasions you managed to drag him to the roof of the factory so you could both childishly howl at the moon together

🌟 You don’t understand a lot of what he deals with, and you probably never will, so you always try your hardest to see things from his point of view

🌟 Sometimes different phases of the moon can have him acting more/less canine like

🌟 Oh yeah because of this sometimes he straight up just sleeps at the end of your bed like an actual dog

🌟 Then one time for his birthday you bought him a dog collar and a bunch of dog toys

🌟 Karl was very unimpressed 

🌟 He reminded you that he was still part lycan and would bite a bitch if he needed to

🌟 At first you laughed it off as an empty threat and then you remembered that one time he actually almost bit you 

🌟 One full moon you got a call at like 2am from Donna who was angrily telling you to come and collect Heisenberg because he’d broken into her house while in lycan-form and started chewing on Angie

🌟 In the background of the call you literally heard Angie’s shrill screaming, apparently distressed

🌟 “AAAAAAAAAA!!! COME AND GET YOUR STUPID MUTT, (Y/N)!!!!!!”

🌟 You had to walk all the way to her house in the middle of the night 

🌟 (You never have to worry about lycans because they recognise you as having a place beside Heisenberg.... but also you just literally smell the same as him half the time because you live together)

🌟 After apologising profusely to Donna (and especially Angie) you had to walk lycan-Karl home 

🌟 “I can’t believe you just broke into Donna’s house like that! They’re our friends, Karl! You can’t just chew on whatever you like!”

🌟 “ *disagreeable werewolf sound* ”

🌟 Basically full moons get really wild sometimes

🌟 Lunar Eclipses are the total opposite tho

🌟 Like Karl is totally incapable of changing????

🌟 You aren’t sure if it’s actually a biological thing or if he’s just internally convinced himself that he needs the moon to change

🌟 The full moon affecting his mood/sensitivity is definitely a bio thing tho

🌟 Either way on total eclipses he just mopes around all day

🌟 Is just really tired for it’s entire duration, very weak and sickly even

🌟 You try your best to take care of him but as usual he protests 

🌟 But I mean what’s he gonna do really when he’s barely able to stand up from the couch on his own

🌟 If he has enough strength he’ll try to walk around and do work as if it’s a normal day

🌟 Did I mention this man is an absolute workaholic?

🌟 You always try to prevent him from doing stuff like that on lunar eclipses since he just gets really really sick because of them [lunar eclipses]

🌟 If he does manage to sneak down to his workshop, he barely has the energy to do anything before falling asleep on a bench

🌟 Since you can’t really carry him back to his room you usually just set him up with a blanket and a pillow so he’s at least a little bit comfortable

🌟 Okay but like fr his room is basically a makeshift den like almost constantly

🌟 Very dark and kinda messy tbh

🌟 (I forgot to mention that Heisenberg has night-vision to an extent outside of his lycan-form)

🌟 His room kinda smells too so you always open the curtains, windows, doors, etc. to air it out

🌟 He gets very mad when you do this and claims that you’re “impeding on his territory”

🌟 Yeah okay whatever bud go back to scratching your fleas

🌟 Despite how much you judge Heisenberg’s room it’s actually??? very cosy and absolutely bomb to sleep in???

🌟 Apart from that you wish he’d keep it tidier

🌟 Having “’Alpha Blood’ coursing through your veins” isn’t a valid excuse to live in a pigsty, Karl

🌟 Literally there’s no reason for there to be a pile of dirty clothes in the corner of your “den”

🌟 Just put them in the laundry basket like a normal person????

🌟 Something tells you he’d live like this even if he wasn’t part lycan

🌟 What would he do without you?

🌟 Probably reinvent the bubonic plague, actually

-

[an;

My Lycan!Karl  obsession  interest has been quenched for now, hope y’all enjoyed my follow-up list of headcanons as much as I did! :]

[mskatesharma]

Hey sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask if you could rec some good sources on learning more about Indian Culture/history/customs. Movies books anything really. I have looked online but well, I always take things on the internet with several grains of salt. And considering I know very little on it, I can't say how reliable the information is. I would like to incorporate elements of Kate being Indian when writing about Kate (and Kate and Anthony) going forward and I want to do it in as respectful and accurate a way as I can. For example, I had a thought of Anthony seeing Kate and her fam celebrate Holi and falling in love with how happy and carefree she is and brushing some paint off her cheek before she dunks some pigment onto him or something 1/2

But considering I've never celebrated Holi or seen it celebrated before I don't think I'd do a good job to write it... I know I get annoyed when people get the basic customs and traditions of my culture wrong. Anyway sorry for rambling TLDR: I would like to learn more about Indian culture and idk where to begin so I would be grateful for any direction you can point me at 2/2

so this has taken me a while to answer because i needed to find time to sit down, think about it and answer it properly. it might seem like a somewhat simple question, but to me, at least, it’s complicated? (i’m probably going to be going over stuff you probably already know, but i’m trying to answer in a complete way.)

i need to start off by saying that my family is from north india (gujarat specifically), and because of that, i have a certain level of privilege, including how north indians and north indian culture is portrayed in the media (obviously including bollywood). i mention this because simone ashley is south indian, specifically tamil, and there is so much prejudice against south indians in general, and this obviously extends to how they are depicted and how their culture is shown in various forms of media; colourism (which simone has spoken out about) is just the start of it. (also, as someone who is north indian, i’m not the best placed person to talk about the prejudice and discrimination faced by south indians.)  

a big part of why desi fans are so excited about simone’s casting as kate is because she a dark-skinned woc, and typically, dark-skinned women aren’t cast as romantic leads, and they’re not cast in shows anyway, especially when compared to light-skinned woc. so the fact that she’s going to be a lead in one of the biggest shows on netflix is a big.fucking.deal. in addition, they changed her character’s surname from ‘sheffield’ to ‘sharma’, which on the surface seems like a great idea, but if you look a little deeper, there are so many problems to be found.

(this got long so continues below)

sharma is not a generic indian surname; it’s specifically a north indian hindu name, which throws up questions. is kate going to be a hindu on the show? does this mean her family is from north india?  are they going to talk about caste on the show because sharma is a brahmin surname? how are they going to explain kate being in england, and being out in society with the upper crust of the british aristocracy? (because of the time that bridgerton is set, and with them specifically setting up kate as indian, i honestly don’t know how they’re going to explain kate’s presence) i honestly think that the show didn’t think too deeply about it and they chose the name sharma because it starts with ‘sh’ and ~sounds indian. however, it’s thrown up so many questions that they can’t ignore, especially because they tried to explain race in the first season. 

i talk about all this because you ask about holi, and incorporating elements of kate being indian when writing. and i’m not trying to be mean, but i would maybe hold off altogether? i need to point out that holi is a hindu festival, and is not specifically tied to being indian. i know i mentioned that sharma is a hindu surname, but we don’t even know if kate is going to be hindu, she may be a christian, or another religion or an atheist. also, because simone is tamil, they may decide to have kate be south indian despite the north indian origins of sharma, if they chose to address it at all. and depending on where in india you are from, and your religion, you will celebrate different festivals. even indians of the same religion celebrate different festivals, and some celebrate occasions at different times (e.g. gujaratis celebrate hindu new year the day after diwali. this isn’t the case for most other hindus. if we take holi, i know that it tends to be celebrated more in north india, and the image you describe isn’t necessarily universal). 

there has been a lot in the tags regarding clothing, and seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing, and while i get it, it makes me nervous. personally, i cannot wait to see kate in the same style of dresses that everyone else wore in season one. why? because seeing an indian woman in that period of dress is something i have been longing for. i don’t want to see an indian woman wearing a lengha or a sari or sabyasachi in that time period, i want to see her in a bonnet and empire waistline, because that is something we haven’t seen much of. 

also, talking about seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing has the potential to ‘other’ her, and tbh, can come across sometimes as fetishy, especially when you consider the time the story takes place in, and all the implications of colonialism. (there’s also the fact that unless the show has hired indian costume designers, it would be kinda gross for them to use any kind of indian clothing, and that includes adding elements to the era-typical dress that i’m hoping for.) 

i’m going to be honest, i’ve seen pieces of fanart with kate wearing a sari and other indian clothing, while anthony has been in typical regency dress, and it makes me uncomfortable. it gives off coloniser vibes, and that’s a dynamic i have absolutely no interest in. there’s also the fact that i’ve seen art where simone as kate has been shown as light-skinned, to the point where she appears to be the same colour as anthony, and i mean, hello?!

full disclosure, i’ve made some posts regarding headcanons and music that i should have thought twice about. i’ve reblogged stuff that i should have thought more about before i did so. why? because they had overtones of north indian privilege, and/or orientalism. being indian (wherever in india that is) is part of someone’s identity, it’s not a gimmick to sprinkle onto things, and it’s not something to festishise, and i think, at least from what i’ve seen, that is the concern a lot of desi fans have, even if that’s not the intention of the original posters.   

i realise i’ve gone on a seemingly massive tangent, but what i’m trying to say is, i don’t think there is a need to specifically reference kate being indian, especially when when writing canon-era fic, even more so when you consider we don’t know how the show is going to address it. now, i’m not saying i have faith in the show when it comes to kate and her ~indian surname, just that until we know how the show addresses it, i don’t see why it needs to be referred to? i understand why one might want to, but i just think there are waaay too many potential pitfalls, and the risk of coming across as orientalist/patronising/fetishy too high. some fans have fears when it comes to kate sharma and how she is presented, and for good reason.

sorry for not answering how you expected, and not giving you the resources you asked for (which, tbh, i’m not sure i would know where to start). i get what you were trying to ask, and i thank you for asking in the first place, but the question felt a little unfair tbh. but, i would encourage to read up on orientalism, also about the privilege that north indian hindus have, and honestly, the british colonisation of india.

ETA: i put this in the reblog but im going to add it here as well

also, something i forgot to add, even though i talk about north indians/north india and south indians/south india, it is obviously more complicated than that. there are many different states in india, and even then, different regions within those states will have different customs to each other. and then you have to factor in religion. likewise, there’s no one language that everyone in india speaks. basically, it’s not one universal culture that can be ‘boiled down to the essentials’.

[bondsmagii]

so a while back I was talking about extensive blacklists and somebody messaged to see if I wanted screenshots of a very impressive blacklist from an old Discord server they were in. of course, I did. here are the aforementioned screenshots as promised -- naturally the person wishes to remain anonymous, but here’s what they said:

hello, t'was i who was your Long Blacklist anon. here's what i have, or at least what i have scraped from the sides of my massive screenshots folder

to note: in the first image, in the section "TSS specific", the Remus mentioned is one of the characters in the show that the server is about,  whether he's secondary or main is up for debate. like. a WHOLE CHARACTER

some of these are understandable honestly, i don't mind a lot of this, but i had forgotten "y'all" was on here and. i'm sure that was probably said about 500 times in there because. how do you. IT'S Y'ALL

I gotta admit that I was not expecting this to be so wild. I had no idea an entire regional accent would be on here; nor could I have anticipated the fact that the whole of Ohio State University would be a banned topic, but there you go.

full transcription under the cut, for which you owe me, because this is long.

USER SPECIFIC

Recording <@!412026064970186753>’s voice without permission

Pet names directed at @‘beat drop’ A Jumbo Jellyfish

Referring to @rrationality in the feminine, “kiddo” directed at by anyone but Patton

“Tinker bell” or the phrase “I just want you to succeed” directed at @Groundhog badger

Deleting messages from @JEYKSHK without informing first

“Kitten” directed at @jelly 

“Know-it-all” directed at @The Rat God Summons Thee, asking to roleplay, people fighting in earshot, interacting while under the influence of any substances

Patronising and/or directing “cute” nicknames (smol, baby, dear, etc.) at @arson, overly aggressive conpliments (heart spamming, etc.)

“Princess”/“Champ”/“Sweetheart”/“Buddy” directed at @Silverquill (She/Her)

“Sweetie”/“honey”/“babe” and other pet names directed at @let airam see fuck without permission

“Hun”/“love” directed at @Ren 

“you’re acting like ___” and “very nice” directed at @probably activism, venting privately without warning/asking

“Dumb”/“stupid”/“idiot”, etc. directed at @blurryeyesinbewilderment 

“Selfish”/“worthless” directed at @Safira 

Calling attention to/making fun of the typos of @one of the best ppl here tbh

Referring to @It ya boy idk in the feminine, mocking

Referring to @I’m gonna shine like the sun as a hypochondriac

Referring to @Currently Committing Tax Fraud as argumentative

TSS SPECIFIC [translator’s note: this is an abbreviation for The S*nders Sides-- the fandom the server is about. I censor this because I do not care for him and do not wish to type his accursed name.]

Any discussion (including mentions), images, gifs and links involving Remus, and ships where he is included

The phrase “have you ever thought about killing your brother?” [translator’s note: this entire phrase was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Unsympathetic portrayals of the Sides (being villainous, abusive, (passive) aggressive, restrictive, etc.)

Ships involving the Sides and Sleep

Romantic Prinxiety

Intruality

Romantic logicality 

Snitties (tumblr post)

CenThomas (tumblr post)

TOPICS

Tangerines

Depersonalisation and depersonification

Divorce

Being controlled/your actions not being your own (including mind control)

Bullying (in a non-joking context)

Burning buildings and house fires

Belittling serious issues

Zombies

Existential issues (such as questioning reality)

Claustrophobic (small) spaces

Being patronised

Puppets

Bad parental relationships

Narcissistic people

Ohio State University

Annesia/mind-wiping

Bernie Sanders (US Politician)

Hell (discussion of)

Anesthesia

Fasting (for religious reasons or otherwise)

Unhappy endings

Power outages

Directing “stupid” at another person

Southern or Texan accents

Cringe culture

Spiders

Heights

The concept of pure nothingness

POC being stereotypes as promiscuous

Conflating age regression with age play [translator’s note: ‘age play’ was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Condiments (ketchup, mustard, etc.)

Malevolent of morbid supernatural entities

Food dicourse

Roanoke (the historical colony)

Self-depreciation

Heated discussions

Major character death

Hanahaki disease

Ants (the insect)

Eye lip eye (sequence of emojis)

Realistic-looking teeth on non-human things

Teeth in any place but a mouth

Human trafficking

Worms

OTHER MEDIA

The son “Sing me to sleep” by Alan Walker

Creepypasta (all forms)

The song “Hide and seek” by SeeU

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (webseries)

The song “Last christmas” by Wham!

Heathers (movie and musical)

The song “Empty” by boyinaband

The song “You should see me in a Crown” by Billie Eilish

The Momo challenge

Stephen King’s It (book and movies)

The song “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish

Undertale and Delta Rune (video games)

The song “Wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish

The song “Ocean eyes” by Billie Eilish

Sora from Kingdom Hearts (video games)

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (movie)

Onward (movie)

WORDS/NAMES/PHRASES

The word “senpai”

The name “Cryptid”

“I see the light”/“I’m going into the light”/“Light at the end of the tunnel”

“A beautiful mind”

“Babe” in a romantic context

“Baby” and “sweetiepie” as pet names

The name “Tristan”

The name “Ana”

The name “Jamie”

The name “William/Will”

“Make yourself useful”

“Y’all”

“Agere” (as a shortform of age regression)

SOUNDS AND VISUALS

Fife music (fife and drum corps)

Loud noises

Spiders and insects

Trypophobic images

“Distant shore” and “It’s all over isn’t it” from Steven Universe

Homestuck (all forms)

Crying while laughing

High saturation/bright images/eyes strain

[pacifymebby]

How did you find a good therapist? Does your insurance cover it?

I live in Wales so it's NHS, and I don't really know if they are any good atm. It's underfunded as hell so I am doing group therapy for a month and then one to one therapy. Sorry I know that's not much help. What I will say though is that finding a therapist that works for u is a bit hit and miss, having like an initial conversation with them to get vibes, like to see how comfortable you feel helps (I went private once for therapy and they let me do this, like a very quick little taster sesh)

And you kind of have to be ready for therapy too, this sounds patronising and stupid but honestly the first time I went for therapy, I thought I was ready and I desperately wanted to be better, but I fucking hated my therapist and the reason I hated her was because she was the person that was going to help me get better and I didn't like her authority over me. Basically a combo of me not being ready and me not having the right therapist.

Now I've a therapist who is a friendly dad kinda guy and it works much better.

But it's been years since my first attempt at therapy and I've grown so much and worked through a lot on my own to get to this stage of acceptance of myself and stuff? Idk if this makes sense at all tbh sorry x

[slightlyaggressiveaffirmations]

I feel like some people I know (including my supervisor and occasionally professors) don't understand that I sometimes take longer than other people to complete tasks or learn things (probably due to several of my disabilities). Do you have any advice for explaining this to other people but not making it seem like an excuse? My accommodation of extra time on assignments in school doesn't allow me very much extra time. Can I also request some affirmations about it's OK to learn at my own pace?

Hi Anon!

I have similar problems to you - because of my cognitive dysfunction, I am a slow learner, and I usually need three times as long to read anything. I am currently working on a research project for my degree that should take me one semester - but I have been able to negotiate much much longer - the initial plan is that instead of the usual 15 weeks, I will aim for 27, with the option for additional time if I need it. The reason: I cannot take in more than about 10 pages of reading a day, and that’s simply not enough.

So... let’s talk about how I explained and negotiated my way to this agreement:

1. I am registered with Disability Services

So, not every school has one, and it doesn’t help with a workplace, but essentially what this means is that I took steps to explain my situation before it became a problem. As well as registering that I need assistance (which I’m guessing you have done too - hence the extra time) I always speak to a new lecturer or professor myself after the first class. I say something like:

“Hi. My name’s Kate and you will have recieved an Education Access Plan for me. I just want to let you know some things...”

My school has rules that the Plan has to be followed, and the staff aren’t allowed to ask me why I need my special accomodations, but I like to be upfront and explain to them. Then they feel like I’m honest and trustworthy, etc. And I find them always very accomodating.

2. I make sure people see the effort I put in

I am a high achiever. At school, in the workplace, in my activism work, in video games! At school, I care a lot about my grades, but I also make a deliberate effort to be sure my lecturers and teachers can see my effort. I ask a lot of questions and raise my hand when I know the answers to things. I contribute to class discussions. I email if I am sick and I go to consultation hours and ask for help.

This means that when I need that extra time to finish an essay, they know wasn’t lazy or wasting time (and sometimes, maybe, I was!) because I have that track record of being a good student who puts effort in. I’ve even got a reputation now with staff I haven’t met.

I do the same thing at a job. I work hard and I make sure I’m seen working hard.

Note: You should not have to do this! I should not have to. Our word and a medical certificate should be enough. But it often isn’t, and you asked for advice, so this is it, sadly.

3. I explained exactly what my need is and why

When it came to negotiating this specific longterm extension on my research, I had to ask my supervisor to commit to much longer. That’s a big ask. So, I needed to be clear on what my problem is and I also came to her with a proposed solution to that problem. The clearer you can be, the better (which can be hard with a cognitive disability - but writing it down can help)

So. Problem: I can only read about ten pages or so a day of the kind of complex academic language this research requires. That’s drastically below the amount I need to read in the timeframe available.

Solutions: I need more time. There’s a way we can enrol me so the computer system allows me to take more than one semester, and I came to her with that information. I wrote a proposed study plan of how long it might take me and when I might have a first draft, a final draft, etc. I included what kind of information I thought I needed and how much time I thought the first few of these might require (Two weeks on Subject A, Three on Subject B).

I also explained to her how varying the tasks I’m performing helps me to keep focused - so I wrote a list of the tasks I needed to do besides reading, and gave her these too, so she could see how I’d help myself work better by varying tasks.

People love it when they don’t have to do that much work! If you say “Here’s the problem, I already found the solution, please tick the box that says you agree” they fucking LOVE that. The thing is done with the least inconvenience to them.

So, your problem: You need longer to complete tasks or learn something new.

If you feel comfortable, it will help to explain why this is. In simple terms, but not patronising. I always say:

“I have trouble concentrating, especially if there are distractions like other noises - even something minor like an air conditioner. I get tired easily, I can only focus for short periods. I fall asleep when reading long passages of text. I read slowly. Some days I cannot read at all.”

All of those things make up “I need more time”, but they explain WHY I need more time, and often a person who is just ignorant about disabilities simply hasn’t bothered to think about it and when you explain it like this, they begin to understand why you find things more difficult than they do.

Another thing I like to say is “Think about how you function when you’re very tired. When you try to read a book but you’re ready to fall asleep and the words blur - that’s me all the time” - that’s an experience that they can relate to, and that really helps!

Then you can tell them the solution: “It would really help if I had extra time. That would give me more time to read everything over twice to make sure I understand it.” Or you could say the extra time helps you because you can only work for a small period each day and therefore you need more days to give you an equal amount of work time as your classmates.

OK. In summary:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an “excuse” - it’s just a reason you didn’t or can’t do something and we shouldn’t attach negative connotations to that. But I know what you mean when you say you don’t want it to sound like an excuse, so ways to avoid that include:

1. Make your needs clear BEFORE you need them. (I realise you’re already in the situation, but note for future) If you’ve already told someone about a potential problem, it will not sound made-up to them when you bring it up during a deadline.

2. Make them trust you. Show them that you wouldn’t lie. If they think you are an excellent student/employee/citizen/etc, they will not see you as having a reason to make up some excuse. Why would you when you’re normally so diligent and enthusiastic?

3. Explain the WHY (I do and learn things slower because...) and offer solutions by explaining HOW they help (More time would mean...)

This was an extremely long answer... Not sure I could read it all in one hit myself, tbh! :p Might be pushing that ten page limit.

Good luck, Anonymous Friend. I hope some of this is helpful to you.

- The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer

[ceruleanskies]

Ik that you probably don't mean it, well idk tbh bc I'm just so genuinely confused and a little uncomfortable? I don't see you being like rude towards whites but I feel as if I'm not welcomed on your blog bc I'm white? If that's the case then that's okay! Just let me know hun!!

i’m sorry if i made you feel like that :/ my blog is a safe space for everyone regardless of race, gender or sexuality (with the exception of bigots), but (i’m going to try and answer this as delicately as possible now) if you (using ‘you’ as a general term. i mean you, a white person reading this) are getting offended by me calling out the actions of white people, actions that have been and are still being used to oppress people of colour, whilst defending myself from people hurling abuse at me because i call people out about without sugarcoating things, maybe my blog isn’t the place for you. 

i hate to sound condescending and patronising but genuinely the decision is completely and utterly yours as to whether or not you unfollow me and i respect your decision ❤️

[minstrivia]

so uh,,, i created an edit account n i’m pretty sure i’ve already royally fcked up everything n that ppl think i’m stupid, annoying, extra, n hate me. haha my general anxiety plus social anxiety are kicking in hARD right about now. any tips on keep ur cool while wanting to delete everything n combust into flames ??? 🙈✨

why do you think you fucked up love?? :((( honestly right, without invalidating your feelings at all, these things do tend to be in your head because of how nervous you are about starting something or doing something new. and that is completely normal okay?? and it’s always normal to think about other people and what they think, but honestly what i’ve learnt and still kind of learning is not everyone will like you, someone will always think you’re annoying or extra or etc. that’s not your fault though. that’s just one or a few people’s perspectives, it’s not a general perspective if you get what i mean?? tbh i still think about deleting my acc every single day and combusting into flames,,, but honestly my advice just breathe!! you created an edit account for a reason, to edit and make amazing creations, then do that!! have fun and make a fuck ton of creations of things you love things that make you happy etc and revel in that. unless you’ve done something completely like i don’t know wrong,,, then please don’t worry too much!! okay??! i feel like i sound patronising ajsjsj i hope I don’t sound like that,, i mean it!! please just have fun with your acc, it’s yours and no one else’s, if anyone doesn’t like you then they can unfollow and that’s it!! don’t think too much of it!! and if you need it take a break, relax, breathe, have a drink of water, take care of yourself!! ily 💜💜

[eryiss]

okay here we go lmao kfkkf so no. 1 or no. 18? this could go either way tbh, theyre somewhere or on their way home and one of them playfully says this but at home it really gets steamy-

Prompt: ‘Don’t Make Me Take You Home And Punish You.’  Prompt List here

Pairing: Fraxus

Raiting: Explicit N S F W

Read it Elswhere: AO3, Fanfiction

“Don’t Make Me Take You Home.”

“Do what you wish,” Freed chuckled, a little darkly. “But don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

Laxus looked towards Freed to see that he was smirking. The blonde had been playfully taunting his lover about a small jealous streak that had arisen when a woman had begun to flirt with Laxus, and Freed had been playing along with Laxus’ joke in good grace. But, after Laxus claimed all he needed to do was take off his shirt in the hot summer sun to drive Freed wild with jealousy, Freed had decided to turn the tabled on him with his threat.

The blonde didn’t seem affected by the threat, though. He stopped in the middle of the street with a raised eyebrow, watching as Freed paused and turned to him. When Freed frowned in confusion, Laxus slowly, teasingly began to pull his shirt over his head, revealing his strong, tanned chest and stomach. He tucked it into his belt, muscles intentionally rippling as he did so.

“Do your worst,” Laxus taunted, crossing his arms and flexing his biceps.

“Oh, you have my word I will make your life hell the moment we get home,” Freed threatened, voice a chillingly erotic growl.

This was going to be so good.

Neither man spoke as they walked the rest of the way home, though Laxus made sure to flex whenever Freed so much as glanced towards him; if he was going to be punished by his lover, he might as well get his kicks in before he it begun.

When they got to their shared home, Laxus felt himself buzzing with nervous anticipation. Freed’s demeanour had changed slightly after he closed the door, standing slightly taller than normal and with a controlled smirk on his face. Despite the teasing he had done on the walk home, Laxus knew he needed to do as he was told from this point on. They had played with dom and sub roles before, and from his short time under Freed’s control, he knew best when to obey.

“So,” Freed said, voice calm but with an undertone of a threat. “Why exactly did you do that? Did it make you feel powerful, Laxus? Or did you just want attention?”

Freed sat in a large leather chair in their shared study, looking at Laxus with a patronising grin. Laxus didn’t speak, knowing that Freed was still taunting him and that whatever punishment he had would be worse if Laxus interrupted. And, as hot as Freed was when he was in control, he knew exactly how to make Laxus squirm when he wanted to; Laxus wasn’t going to push him too far.

“Because if you do want attention, I can give it to you,” Freed smirked. “In fact, I’m going to give you my undivided attention for the rest of the day. Get a bottle of lube and that black toy I like and come back.”

Laxus did as he was told, going to their bedroom and picking up a large, black, ribbed dildo from a small locked box in the bottom of their wardrobe. He also picked the nearest bottle of lube he had, and walked back into the study, where Freed had closed the curtains and lit candles. He was still sitting in the leather chair, legs spread wide and inviting. He motioned for Laxus to stand in front of him, and the blonde obeyed.

“Given your need for attention and validation, your punishment will be to put on a show,” Freed’s smirk was demonic. “You’re going to fuck yourself with that toy until you cum, and I’m going to watch. You can’t touch your dick, and you can’t hold any moans in. Unless you want to be spanked within an inch of your life.”

Laxus shuddered. He had called Freed’s bluff on that threat once before and regretted it.

“And if I refuse?” Laxus found himself saying before he could think.

“Well, if you require attention from strangers as well as me, I could accommodate that,” Freed grinned. “I’m happy to fuck you over the railing of the balcony, let everyone see you, if you want. But if you want to avoid that, I’d start stripping for me.”

Again, Laxus knew Freed didn’t make threats he wasn’t willing to follow through on.

He slowly moved to start taking off his clothes, sliding his belt through the loops and dropping it to the ground. Freed was watching him unblinking, like an animal stalking his prey, and brought a glass of wine to his lips. Laxus felt incredibly exposed in the judgmental gaze of his lover, knowing that was the intention of his actions.

As he removed his leather pants, his cock lurched to life. Freed smirked, staring at his lovers tenting boxers without shame. It made his cock harder further, and his cheeks flush red with embarrassment.

It was both humiliating and hot as hell. Laxus had never felt like this before.

He pulled his boxers off, now completely naked in front of his full clothed lover. When he looked at Freed’s spread legs, he saw that his lover was as hard as he was and stroking himself over his pants. It made Laxus blush further; there was a complete power difference between them and Laxus found himself filled with lust because of it.

Acting on instincts, Laxus lowered himself to his knees, trying to ignore Freed’s patronising smirk. He popped open the lid of the lube and slowly coated the dildo with it. He stroked it up and down, knowing the size required a lot of lube from past experience.

“That’s enough,” Freed snapped suddenly. “Don’t bore me, Laxus.”

The blonde nodded, looking at the toy for a moment. He decided that, as embarrassing as this was, he wanted to put on a show for Freed. He shifted so he was on all fours, with one hand grasping the lubed up dildo. Then, looking directly at Freed, he started to push it inside of his asshole.

A quivering moan left his lips.

Inch by inch, he took the large toy inside of him. Every bump, ridge and protrusion forced out a moan from the blonde, and the cruel smirk on his watching lover’s face made everything better. There was an energy between them both, an extra edge to all of his actions. His movements, his sounds, his pleasure was being judged. None of this was for himself, it was to atone to Freed. It was a feeling of submission that Laxus found making his cock strain almost painfully.

Once he had taken the toy in its entirety, he began to fuck himself with it. He did his best to maintain eye contact with Freed, though after a particularly hard thrust of the toy and the loud, needy moan that followed, Laxus forced himself to look away.

“Eyes up, Laxus,” Freed commanded.

The blonde did as he was told, pushing the dildo deep inside him again. When he looked up he saw that Freed had removed his cock from his pants and was slowly stroking himself to the sight before him. Laxus’ cheeks were flushed red, his body covered in sweat, and his cock quivering as he got closer to orgasm.

He didn’t know why he found this all so fucking hot. But he did.

He pushed the dildo far down into his ass, managing to push it hard against his prostate, again moaning loudly into the room. He was trying hard not to look away from his lover, who’s eyes were raking over the man’s strong body. It made Laxus feel electric, to know how much Freed was enjoying what he was doing. He was filled with a contradictory sense of humiliation and empowerment.

Freed was using him for his entertainment, true. But the fact it was him Freed was using made Laxus’ weirdly proud. His cock yearned for stimulation.

But he didn’t touch it, as much as he wanted to. The spanking threat was still present.

“Explain to me Laxus, why am I stroking my own cock when I have you on your knees before me with nothing but moans filling your mouth?” Freed smirked.

With wide eyes, Laxus slowly moved his way towards his lover. He didn’t remove the dildo out of his ass – partially because he expected further punishment for it, and partly because the feeling of the toy moving inside of him was incredible – and positioned himself so that his head was between Freed’s legs.

Taking a breath, he slid his mouth over Freed’s cock and took it down his throat. The feeling of both his ass and his mouth filled was unfamiliar, and Laxus couldn’t help but clench his eyes shut. The sensation was overwhelming, incredibly so. Unintentionally, he started to plunge his mouth up and down Freed’s cock in time with him fucking his ass with the toy.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Freed whined, voice strained. “I need to have you like this more often.”

Laxus simply continued to suck his lover’s cock while frigging himself off with the dildo. He didn’t know if he could do this regularly, but damn was he enjoying it right now.

As Laxus began probing Freed’s cock with his tongue, he felt the man’s hips raise up into his mouth, and Laxus gagged around it. He could feel Freed tangling his hands into his hair, and Laxus started to move his lips up and down Freed’s cock faster and faster. Freed started to moan in the chair, digging his nails into Laxus’ scalp.

God this was so good.

Pushing the dildo further and further inside of him, Laxus moaned around Freed’s cock. This seemed to be Freed’s limit, and Laxus felt hot salty cum on his tongue a moment later as Freed came deep inside his mouth. Laxus did his best to swallow it as it came, but Freed kept cumming and cumming.

A moment later, Laxus felt his own orgasm come. It was overwhelmingly powerful, electrifying in a way Laxus hadnt previously experienced, and cum shot from his dick onto their floor, and onto the leather boots that Freed was still wearing.

The orgasm lasted seconds, but it felt like an infinity.

When it was over, Laxus removed his mouth from Freed’s dick and swallowed the rest of his cum. He slowly slid the dildo out of his ass and let it fall to the floor, an exhausted breath leaving him. He hadnt realised just how tiring the whole thing had been, and he remained kneeling on the floor before Freed, catching his breath.

Freed had cupped Laxus’ cheeks, looking at him with tender and kind eyes. A large contrast compared to what he had been a moment ago.

“You were so good,” Freed whispered comfortingly, stroking his cheek with his thumb. “So good.”

“Sorry I… well, your shoes,” Laxus chuckled, blushing at the phrase. “I can clean it up.”

“No, I’ll do it. It’s my fault after all. I devised the punishment, which you more than fulfilled I should add.” Freed chuckled. “I can run you a bath as well and make you some tea so that you can decompress, if you’d like?”

“Sounds nice,” Laxus smiled a little. “You can join me in the bath, if you want. If I’m honest, one of those rub downs you do would be pretty great.”

“Of course,” Freed smiled, pressing his lips against Laxus’ softly. “I didn’t go too far with everything, did I?”

“God no,” Laxus grinned a horny grin. Who could complain about an orgasm that powerful orgasm that rocked him to his core and was followed by soft, personal attention by his lover?

If this was going to be the outcome, Laxus was sure he would be teasing Freed more often.

[myhoneststudyblr]

Anxiety

So I don’t usually post about personal stuff. In fact I never post about actual personal stuff but I want to start doing it more because one of the best things about studyblr is the community but I think sometimes the reality of what it’s like to be a student today can sometimes get lost in all the aesthetic and self care and study tips. And anyway, my url is myhoneststudyblr so maybe I should be honest and share something with you guys.

***

With that in mind:

I just had a panic attack.

It came completely out of the blue and wasn’t even anything to do with studying or school or something like that. Or maybe it was. Maybe deep in my subconscious, I’m stressed about something or something upset me today in school and i just don’t fully realise it. Maybe it’s just school I general, I don’t know. But anyway the immediate cause of it wasn’t anything study related.

I had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my headphones.

I was getting ready for bed, listening to my Taylor Swift Playlist (aka my happy, nostalgia songs) and I looked at my bedside table and my headphones weren’t there.

Now this isn’t actually anything unusual, so I did what I usually do and go check my desk, where 90% of the time is exactly where I find them no problem.

They weren’t there.

So I looked in the next place they usually are, the place I find my headphones the remaining 9.9% of the time: the pockets of my blazer.

They weren’t there.

This is where I began to panic.

I frantically checked my ‘phone pocket’ again. And then I did it again just in case I missed it the last two times. And then I looked the the other two pockets in my blazer: I never usually put my headphones in either of those pockets but maybe - hopefully - I put them in there this time.

They weren’t there.

By this point, my breath is getting a little short. I’m telling myself to calm down, make a plan, deep breaths in and out, count to 10, you can solve this!!! But while one part of my brain - the logical part that has read and remembers all the self care posts that flit around the studyblr community - is telling me all these sensible things, the other part - the illogical one that’s making my breath short and my heart pound - is thinking about what it means if I can’t find my headphones.

I’m thinking about how if I can’t find my headphones then I can’t listen to music before I go to bed and if I ever do that I feel like I’ve not properly finished my day, like I’ve stopped halfway through a task. I hate it. And then if I can’t find my headphones tonight, I’m not going to be able find them tomorrow morning because I won’t have time. And if I don’t have them tomorrow morning, I won’t have them in school. And if I don’t have them in school, I won’t have them on the bus for my journey back home, which again feels like I’ve not done a task properly, like something is left incomplete somehow, and I’m going to have to sit in silence, looking every now and then at my phone and thinking and thinking about the fact that I don’t have my headphones. And then the cycle will continue to that evening when I can’t listen to music and to the next day on the bus. And it just repeats and repeats and repeats.

By this point I have looked in every draw in my desk, checked and rechecked my pencil case and school bag and almost completely unpacked all the clothes, makeup and other assorted items I’d only just packed in a big suitcase to go to my mum’s house. I have checked the laundry basket three times and every pocket in all the bags and still could not find my headphones.

I am now barely able to see cause I’m crying and my breaths are getting quicker and quicker. And my mind will just not stop thinking .

I can’t keep looking, I sit down on the edge of my bed and grab my phone. Through eyes blurry with tears I text my dad to come up to my room.

Then I realise, as soon as I press send, how stupid this problem sounds. I can’t find my headphones.

This just makes it worse.

My dad comes upstairs and talks me briefly through it. He tells me that he is sure he can find some of his headphones and anyway, he’ll go see if he can find them now. You just go finish getting ready for bed.

But I’m in such a state at this point that I can’t. So I check everything in my room again: all the pockets, the floor, mixed up with my clothes in my bag.

Finally, I recheck my laundry and I find my headphones, tucked away in the deep pocket of my skirt.

I cannot explain the relief I felt.

***

I was still feeling - am still feeling really - a bit shaky after it. And to be honest, now that I’ve blurted all this out, reached the end of my little story, I don’t really know what the point is.

I guess, I want people to remember that everyone experiences stress and anxiety and everybody experiences it in different ways and different severities. I want people to remember that all those self care posts are good and all (and tbh I’m probably going to keep reblogging them just in case somebody needs to read it) but in reality, if you’re panicking or you’re crying or anything like that, you’re probably not going to remember all that wonderful advice. Finally, I want people to remember that you are never truly alone. I always find this a bit patronising and, when I’m feeling really shit, I always think it’s wrong, but you really aren’t. Talk to your parents or those who you live with if you feel comfortable with that. Send a text to your best friend. Listen to music from your favourite singer at the loudest volume so it feels like they are right there with you. Message someone on tumblr (anyone can message me and I’ll try to help). Or maybe even write a tumblr post.

***

It is harder for me to think of people who haven’t had panic attacks, or breakdowns or anything similar in my own friend group in school than it is to think of people who haven’t. It’s so common and so accepted that it has almost become a joke- “oh last night I didn’t get much done, I had a breakdown while doing my chemistry homework- a levels! am I right?!??”

This is not okay.

But this not being the way education and teenagers mental health should be is not your fault

No matter what teachers, parents, friends or whoever else might say, you should never feel bad for the way you feel. You should never feel bad for feeling like you can’t cope or having a bad day. You should never feel bad for panicking, even for something as ‘stupid’ as losing your headphones.

Because if it makes you feel that way, then it’s not stupid. Not at all.