#soul crushing thank you
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you see i have many leobeth situationship/fwb enduced by their abandonnment and attachement issues thoughts also i think of a parallel with hephastus and athena were leo wants more but annabeth isn't into him like that.
ugh oh no…they’re the only people they can turn to and know each other emotionally and physically like no one else…they don’t have really emotional talks but they don’t have to, they just know…they bond over structures and robotics and things that tick, especially when their lives don’t tick.
they know how to make each other come like nothing else (the arrangement lasts long enough to where annabeth can’t come without leo—without his cock deep inside her or his head between her legs, without his warm breath against her lips or his arms around her. not that she could tell him this, of course).
she doesn’t want a relationship with him because she doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. she doesn’t want the wreck that comes with it (bonus points if percy died and leo promised to take care of her?? 👀 what if this was my last straw 🧍). she doesn’t want anything to change in their relationship.
but she knows leo is hurting every time he leaves her bed. the cycle continues with her and leo as it did with athena and hephaestus—but one thing is different. there’s a black bitter sorrow within annabeth, heavy as an anchor, threatening to pull her under if this continues any longer.
#soul crushing thank you#apologies for the mess i think i just blacked out for a sec and this came out of me lmao#leobeth#annabeth chase#leo valdez#pjo#tw smut#asks
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HELLO???? I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE???
https://x.com/nyxxbeloved/status/1893704037029007687
Here is this crazy iii and ii vid I found last night 🫢 pic.twitter.com/SOeZc1mjcn
— nyxx !! 💗 (@nyxxbeloved) February 23, 2025
#sleep token#iii#ii#vessel#shit i haven't either#and its not even iisday#just the boys singing soul crushing lyrics to each other on this lovely morning#ill add it to#the yearning#asks#thank you for sharing this anon
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if Mike never survived the fall in the quarry he and Will would’ve been the gay Romeo and Juliet of Hawkins
#.#byler#michael wheeler i know what you are#miwi#stranger things#stranger things s1#thank @bylerworld for feeding into this idea of mine (I already reblogged it bc it crushed my soul so It can crush yours too💕)#byler endgame#will byers#mike wheeler#mike wheeler is gay#byler is canon#sobbing crying throwing up#i don’t even know what to tag this as tbh#Do @ even work in tags???#😭😭😭😭#ahhhhhhhhhhhh
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ART TRADE TIME!!!! (w @dontlookforme00 and @piereoglyphics :])
from the top, in order of who did sketch - lineart - color&shading:
donnie - piere - star
star - donnie - piere
piere - star - donnie
THIS WAS FUN!!! (we should totally do it again some time :])
u guys r so cool and i love ur arts btw im so glad i got to do this w u!!! :D
(my own sketch and lineart under the cut!!)
#ngl the struggle of coloring donnies sketch was so real#BUT doing the lineart for pieres sketch was lovely.. u know me guys.. im a freak i love doing lineart lmao#100% would do this again#you guys absolutely crushed this#also i feel legally obliged to mention YES. GINGER SOUL. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#cccc soul#cj soul
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DS9 after making a Jake Sisko episode the most harrowing watch in tv history: 😜😝✨🎉✨💃💃💃
#ds9#jake sisko#The Visitor#nor the battle to the strong#star trek#every ep with him as a mc is a soul crushing experience thank you and goodnight
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grace chasity reads both testaments
#this is a bisexual christian joke#i hope this is clear :) i am the target audience :)#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#grace chasity#canon? idk canon is dead i devoured its soul#like girl has had one crush she acknowledged at 18#and - projecting my personal experience here - i absolutely liked girls *and had gay dreams about them* but didn't let them register with m#like i had full-on dreams about kissing girls and. refused to let myself think that made me queer??? just 'that's probably my subconscious'#'wanting to disturb me or something but i'm not actually bi'#and the crushes on them i had#also. i think it's fully possible she liked a girl and killed her a couple of years ago. (on purpose). but she doesn't feel bad bc that gir#was also queer! so REALLY she was preventing others from stumbling#whatever point is i think she's bi i don't care if she knows it or not#give me 3 main girls being multisexual please and thank you :D
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Me resisting the urge to type out a long angry rant complaining abt how other people don't portray Phoebe correctly
#mera talks GB#phoebe spengler#ghostbsuters#OK long story short I hate how many people only started caring about her once she showed hints at having a crush#like shipping is all that matters to people in fandom to the point where it takes over all other conversations#nobody wants to talk about her other interesting character traits she's just 'the girl who fell in love with a ghost' now and that's it#this stinks#not to mention the romanticizing of the whole soul separation thing despite it being disturbing & OOC#OK that wasn't very short but you get what I mean#anyway I should stop and focus on the positive today is supposed to be a nice day with my family#I just needed 2 get that off my chest thanks to anyone who actually reads through my nonsense
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my last week, a visual demonstration
#Robin processes emotions on main#hi yes I came back early. it's in order to process. I needed to like.... spill my guts on the dashboard tonight#IM STRUGGLING..#I have GOT to get a job#just one (1) more visit to a friend this summer and then I will be APPLYING for things again#also I'm having the very devil of a time trying to get myself to contribute to this household. I hate it#I hate that helping out makes me feel like I'm losing my agency—losing myself—like I'm dying every time. I want to be BETTER than this#but I also need to feel like an adult with agency but also I need to BEHAVE like an adult but even just saying that makes me feel nauseous#I need. something. to change. I hate this. I feel selfish and cowardly and I hate feeling selfish and cowardly#I need to . communicate. work something out with my mother so that I stop feeling perpetually behind and ashamed#if I could manage to feel good about chores and not just like I'm scrambling to keep up..... that would..... be... more... motivational#the problem is that I feel unsafe/unstable right now and my instinctive response is to close myself off to all demands#WHICH AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BECOMING MORE STABLE.#demand avoidance makes me bad at contributing to the household AND terrified of applying to jobs and AUGH... AUGH.#I DO BETTER WHEN I LIVE ON MY OWN#living on my own‚ I don't have to deal with the whole soul-crushing horrorshow of negotiating my own emotions about doing chores#chores are GOOD and ENJOYABLE when they're for ME. they're only psychological torture when they're things I do as part of my ''rent''#ok. bedtime. I've sufficiently spilled my dang guts all over the place. it will get better eventually I think#I'm just having a horrible time Right Now#I'll figure this out though dangit#I KNOW the answer is to just Do the stuff and face fears and communicate and whatever I KNOW. but if anyone tells me that I'm going to bite#ok I'm done thank you and sorry to anyone reading this far <3 it really will be all right
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How have you been? :)
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#asks#thank you for asking im actually pretty okay i just got nuked by monthly blood curse#also im the resident ffxiv guy at work so the triple whammy of writing up event guides+locking in for the live letter at the same time#i still have to write out the digest on the job changes before raid tonight ugh#bro im tired. but like in the mundane way not the soul crushing way#i also havent had the chance to sit down and write for a little creature and im trying not to feel guilty abt it#bc guilt is the number one fic killer tbh i get too intimidated to work on it#but also its been sooo long djdjjf i need to update
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I just want to say a huge thank you and I love you to everyone that sent me asks yesterday, I cannot tell you how much it meant to me to hear that you love my writing and what you love about it. I have felt so down and lost the past few weeks and it means the world to me.
#thank you#I love you all#I love writing#I’m a words of affirmation kind of girl#uplifting#seasonal depression has been crushing my soul#but this meant everything to me#text post
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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts#personal#so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right#idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian#but now im like more sure than ever#i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be#i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i#understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence#i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore#the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience#but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair#anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings#and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!
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but do the crane wives and the oh hellos really truly understand the cultural impact they have had on fandom culture as a whole ..........
#do they know i cant listen to passerine without thinking of one of the saddest fanfics ive ever read in my life#i know passerine is a jesus song but dsmp is my bible so#do they know when i listen to allies or enemies i still think of bench duo#the dsmp to me has morphed into like. this sad dying bed of flowers that i neglect in the name of shame#& i refuse to acknowledge its existence until i take a moment to actually look at it then im overcome with like#soul crushing nostalgia and longing for a place i can never go back to#what am i without you ? yourself#i'll drink bleach now thanks#berry 06.1
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Imma say it
acotar ain't even good smut
#mic drop#bye#ITS SO CRINGE I CANT READ ITTTTT#2nd of all#the woman needs an editor#what should i tag this as so not to find the wrong audience uhhhh#anti acotar#there we go#and i dont just mean the first one besties#i mean ALL OF THEM#also her female protags suck thanks for coming to my tedtalk#better nastier and more intimate soul crushing literature on ao3#like she makes me realize i could publish#imposter syndrome cured#also all the mates and fairy biology shit reads like a bad abo fanfic#peeps totally free to enjoy#roll in your playpen#i just needed to be mean for a hot sec about how a bible sized book#could have such inconsistent and shitty worldbuilding#like honey you had 2896 pages
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Ah, your angst is so good! Your work never ceases to make me happy, even if it's supposed to be soul-crushing (I guess I'm a bit sociopathic like that...)!
But you know, with all these AUs and whatnot about DMB being revived or alive all along or something, it got me thinking about a hypothetical situation in which him and Adeleine reunited. Just a cute little thought, nothing else.
I have a bunch of asks about this AU that I'm leaving in the ask box for now because most of them will be tackled in the story itself but I wanted to highlight yours, Cam, because my thoughts upon reading it was "...Cute? Eep, oh no! This story is definitely not that..."
...
...
And then, a weird little miracle happened?? A bunch of random thoughts and events from the past few days collided and I decided, after much thought, to give this story...
...a happier ending.
#Apologies AU#Thank you for the compliments also!!#It's okay I enjoy having my soul crushed too#Speaking of the story will still have PLENTY of that#It just means it's (hopefully) worth it in the end#Thanks to everyone crying over them in the tags too#It sounds kinda weird but it helped#Seems Dess really truly can't let things end in misery
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sometime i sit there and think, will anyone ever love this body of mine? will anyone touch this body of mine before it rots away? will anyone ever look at it with love? desire? and see what i do not see in it? will i never be this lucky?
#im thinking about this lately its killing me#i have only ever loved and been loved by long distance people#there is this particular couple online#i have been watching the guys content lately and he is absolutely perfect#he's kind and compassionate and literally just a Perfcet Guy™️#he has a wife that he adores more than the whole world#his instagram is literally just her pictures from his pov#perhaps the most loved woman on earth#and there is this odd pang in my chest this heaviness every time i see their love which is soooo strange to me#as im not the kind of person to parasocially fall in love with someone i dont even have celebrity crushes#but then i realized why#she has my body type she's fat like me she's an ordinary girl#i thought no one fell in love with girls like us#so yes eventually i realized im not jealous of her im jealous of how lucky she is to be loved by someone good#how lucky it is to find someone that looks at your body and desires it more than anything#but to also look at your soul and want you even more#i wish that for me more than anything#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk#personal
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HIII DUDE good afternoon how r u how's the tokyo ghoul rewatch going!! i would. Love 2 hear ur ghostkicks and/or tg thoughts literally at any given time. taking ur joke tags absolutely dead serious because im trying 2 figure out How To Write Them currebtly & we're doin a bit of wrangling in the google doc 😭.
u know i have the brainrot so so so badly because im on episode 3 of tg and all i can think is "i can make a pd au out of this" so im feeling rlly normal abt it basically. im blaming it on unravel.
ANYWAY. ANYWAY. ANYWAY. YEAH. HI. GHOSTKICKS. they are soooooo. tired depressed introvert gets adopted by a loud bubbly extrovert trope. at least on the surface. like how they behave at school in season 1. thinkin abt jimmy going "what is UP with bro behind u" and william just ominously lurking there. and how dakota defends him later !!!!!!!! idk how much of this youve gotten to yet bc i dont remember when it actually comes up in canon bc its such an ingrained part of his character but dakota is soooooo. guard dog coded. this hits especially hard in the "what if pd were villains" oneshot but its sooooo prevalent in canon too.
they both hold each other in the highest respect. william sees dakota as the prime (ha) example of what a hero should be. hes brave hes kind he does his best to protect everyone no matter what. hes all the things that william Isnt. BUT !!!! dakota also looks up to him !!! hes so smart hes good at problem solving hes so curious about everything and asking questions and poking his nose into things that nobody else would even consider. dakota knows hes not smart so he automatically looks to william whenever he needs a plan or someone to tell him what to do when he feels lost. they complement each other and they dont even !!!!! know it !!!!!!!
also regarding williams powers. fuck dude. season 1 he was so fucking scared of himself and ashamed of the things he could do . he hid every time he had to use wisp form !!! but dakota always thought it was so cool and was not QUIET about it. boy went fucking STAR EYES the first time he saw wisp form !!!!!! i will never stop thinking abt the first rolled for season 2 where charlie goes "if dakota hadnt left, he probably wouldve been able to convince william to keep using his powers and not to completely disregard their existence like he has been" and . considering what william is like in season 2... god this wouldve been a COMPLETELY different fucking campaign. theyre so. incredibly soulmates to me. theyre so important to each other theyd do anything for each other. i cant say too much more without accidentally giving you spoilers bc i WILL keep talking and not be able to shut up but GOD fuck ghostkicks enjoyers eat so well in the latter half of s2. moirails. 2 me !!!!!!!
#anyway pd tg au: will as kaneki dakota as hide vyncent as touka .#tempted to say tide is yoshimura but for some reason i vaguely remember him being fucked up evil. dont know if thats actually true or not.#also trying 2 decide whether mal or kimuri would fit better as rize. not the exact character but like the.#oh youre being haunted by this guys soul. actually probably kimuri is better but hes not like. Evil yknow.#i will likely regret saying all of this once i get 2 later episodes. if i stick with watching this idk if i will or not lmao#but i remember none of the overarching plot of tg so im going solely on the characters up to ep 3.#anyway im not ever going to do anything with this but this is a fun little peek into my twisted cycle path mind#this is how i enjoy media when im obsessed w something else#THANK U FOR THE BEAFT. WHAT A LOVELY SHRIMP YOU HAVE#aauagahagahghhhhh. ros i cannot wait for u to have the ghostkicks knowledge i have. g#im going to start biting things. they make me crazy. theyd do literally anything for each other.#i loooove ghostknife dont get me wrong. im a huge ghostknife warrior#i love williams lamebass awkward teenager crush so much. and i think they should kiss.#but also platonic soulmates ghostkicks takes up so much of my brain space these days. theyre just so. extremely important 2 me.#matesprit vs moirail etc etc#dakota is williams wingman. etc etc etc.#anyway. im chewing through wrought iron bars currently#asks#friends!!!#intertexts
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