#sorta- just to be safe ^^
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i haven't drawn iguin in so long.....
#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DID YOUKN OW THAT OUGHHFDGH JUMPS AROUND THE ROOM#hes the most#my fucked up dog who has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces#i love how theyre the first brimhat were introduced to but they have a sorta non-traditional (???? for lack of a better word) brim#such an epic design and character i would eat him 100%#witch hat atelier#wha#tongari boushi no atelier#tbna#iguin#my art#eye horror#sorta- just to be safe ^^
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I added some colours to her :)
#digital art#character art#character design#marcia#discworld#discworld fanart#angua von uberwald#bro i need to get weirder i need my art to be weirder i need the shapes i need the colurs i need to not play safe i need to be a freak#2025 goal become an even bigger freak i can never stop#i really like how she turned out#i never used such muted colours before i kinda like how murky she looks#a true ankhmorporkian#still making my way through men at arms they just found the clown#i am fascinated with the river that is running through that city#it makes me think of Bristol uk <3#going back to angua i like to think the armour they gave her was already all beaten up#hello and welcome to the nightwatch. have the nastiest underfunded gear we could find this side of the city#also i like to think that the official colours of ankh morpork are greenred#two colours on the opposing sides of the colour wheel but they are forced together to coexist#ankh would be green morpork would be red#and now everyone and their patrician just gotta cope#worldbuilding through colour would be fun : )#ohhh the inside of the palace could look quite cool because it would have to utilize both to celebrate the union#but then you go into the city and across the river you can sorta see the divide#not that all the houses would be one colour or whatever thats a bit predictable#but through fashion statements or exported goods or family insignia#and then you could incorporate it further for example vimes the guy of the city would want to take on the whooole thang. thats his city#some criss cross apple sauce checkers quilted mismatched mumbo jumbo#and then in contrast to that you would have his wife-elected suit and tie getup that distances him from his duty and kills him#so many options i tell you
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Emmrich: I do suppose Nevarra's grand displays might seem exotic to you all-
Lucanis: "exotic" is not how I would describe your dead body collection!
- banter as we are being attacked by corpses in the necropolis is absolutely priceless Lucanis is a gem
#dragon age veilguard#veilguard spoilers#sorta??#tagging it just to be safe#lucanis dellamorte#emmrich volkarin
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magnus charas pt.2 !
/ tma s1 spoilers
#mild gore?#sorta? it's just black sludge but just to be safe yanno#timothy stoker#tim stoker#the magnus archives#fanart#tma#rusty quill#magnus pod#the magnus archive fanart
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a light shines through a cloud of colour fumes and i can feel the warmth of the sun
Gravity, let me go ♫⋆。♪ destroyer - of monsters and men
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☀︎。 ⋆。 ゚ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆。˚ ┊ ┊ ⋆ ┊ ★⋆ ┊ ◦ kirbytober 2024 #01 ★⋆ dream // revenge // song
#starting off super strong ngl.... might not match this through the rest of the month i'm gonna be honest#but it's FINALLY done!!!! had this one on the backburner since *february*#persevered on it Despite Everything and i'm actually very proud of it!!!#highly recommend giving this song and/or its lyrics a little looksee!!#anyway remember that one time i said i'd drawn a different Galacta Knight and you would know when it was My Guy. you can tell.#also yeah i hand detailed every last bit of that filigree. it's all hand drawn + painted. anything for my favourite evil [redacted]#my art#starstruck dee#galacta knight#kirbytober#and also#galastruck#sorry. sorry that they're like this.#🎀🔍#🎀💖#s....sorta. it's not really is it? does it count? eh. just to be safe.
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i love green and pink
#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 5 spoilers#<- only sorta but just to be safe#isat Odile#isat Siffrin#isat loop#looking at these u can reallllly tell who my fav character is LMAO#also I drew these b4 the nose reveal for Siffrin#I really wanna do one of those isat color pallet challenges cause I would have so much fun with it…#maybe ill open asks for them at some point?#my art
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these two mean so much to me. theyre just little guys. size of 1 sauce... molecules even......
heres my impression of the ending of eow. ueueuUEUEUEUEUEUEU🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#i wanna do smth fun with her sideburns but i truly dont know what to do with em#eow#echoes of wisdom#eow spoilers#<sorta? theres not really. much. but just ot be safe i suppose#loz#legend of zelda#tloz#zelda#tri eow#my art
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thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”
#like in that scene in s2 when merlin was calling out arthurs name from under his bed#and he jumped up (thinking merlin was long gone) grabbed his sword and postured for a fight#or that one in idk which season when merlin was sneaking in his room and he woke up and grabbed his sword when merlin bumped a chair#and then merlin brought the canopy/curtains around his bed down on him#vs waking up to see melin splayed over him and staring for a beat#before flinching back#(he was definitely having some thoughts and/or dreams but thats neither here nor there)#idk thinking about arthur who trusts merlin implicitly and allows himself to lower his guard around him#his guard which he keeps up even in his sleep#GOD imagining them in an established relationship and merlin for once has /so/ much trouble waking arthur up#like before it was sorta bad but arthur was always in that half awake state#but now that theyre together….arthur wont even groan when merlin starts poking his ribs#arthur finally feeling so safe and protected that he allows his guard to drop in his sleep#and its the first time hes ever felt truly refreshed in the morning#so now merlin has infinitely more trouble waking him up but when hes up hes UP and ready to go#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur bby they could never make me hate you#hes just a girl desperately craving love and protection#merlin isnt even offering it#hes shoving it into arthurs arms with insults flying off the tongue#theyre so disgusting#(affectionate)#<3#headcanon#head canon#hc
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i'm a big fan of whatever is wrong with them
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#gore#sorta. it's cartoony so it's not that bad but i'll tag it just to be safe
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ULTRATOBER #1—favourite soundtrack
#ultrakill#gutterman#ultratober#ultratober2024#it was hard to pick just one song... i love the ultrakill ost a lot#thought id do an homage to the rogue gutterman this song is sorta about#in the minimal graphic style of the ost's album covers#trypophobia#<- just to be safe
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For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!
Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.
But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.
Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.
"Mornin', Madam Navigator."
"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."
And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.
Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.
Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.
So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.
Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.
Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.
One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.
Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.
Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?
Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?
Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.
Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.
(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)
Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.
He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.
One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.
And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!
And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…
Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.
The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.
Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.
Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-
“Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.
“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”
“Y-Yes, ma'am.”
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#Himeko KNOWS abort mission abort!!!#I really love Himeko sorta looking after Boothill the same way she does her crew even if he's not one of them haha. She's so sweet with-#-Dan Heng. She really seems to adore him and wants him to be safe and happy. I think she would be so happy he's found a new friend!#She wants to help this happen!! So get to it Boothill!!!#Was yapping about this fic to Ray and she nearly fucking oneshotted me: 'It's especially funny because we've got a Vidyadhara and a cyborg-#'-they literally have all the time in the world. SHE's the one who wants to be around to see it happen akfbbsbd''#AND JUST. GOD. Himeko knowing that she won't outlive Dan Heng. She's only human. She can't compare to a Vidyadhara lifespan. So she wants-#-to make sure Dan Heng has as many people as possible. She wants to know he'll be taken care of and not be lonely even after she's gone.#Himeko wants to see this important moment in his life happen she wants to be around for it *sobbing*#I'd been wanting to write this for a long time though because for me henghill is all about the little moments. like. they talked so much-#-back and forth in 2.2. they spent so much time together. they get along shockingly well. Dan Heng could have gone almost anywhere to wait-#-for the trailblazer to wake up after defeating Sunday. And instead of anywhere else Dan Heng returned right to Boothill's side. Was still-#-hanging out with him at the Reverie's bar. Still just chattering away. The point is that these two have a strong friendship to build a-#-romance on! They enjoy each other's company! They like spending time together! And I love that! I want to see their mundane nights!!#They'd have such fun dates uweh... They go on a coffee date and miss Himeko's coffee haha#(fun story Boothill's dialogue about Himeko's coffee was originally going to be 'it was uh...an experience. ain't nothin' else like it in-#-the world.' 'thank you!' But then I read Boothill's parlor car dialogue and? it turns out he LOVES Himeko's coffee? go figure ajfldjas)#(afaik he and Dan Heng are literally the only ones. how cute is that haha)#hsr#boothill#himeko#dan heng#hsr boothill#hsr himeko#hsr dan heng#my fics
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You know what REALLY irritates me?
The way people keep criticising the buddie fandom as delusional for seeing things in the show and are pretending that writing and editing and camera angles and costuming isn’t made up of intentional choices
Like you guys do realise there are wholeass departments of people doing things on purpose here right? Like clothes aren’t decided by eh this looks good enough🤷🏽♀️ cameras don’t pan places just for funsies, scripts and scenes aren’t included just because🤷🏽♀️
Like shipping aside, like that’s just how shows/movies work like it’s all preplanned and intentional
like I beg some of these fans before they hop on acting like everyone is crazy, to just spend a few minutes looking at how some costume departments explain their intentions for specific clothes or camera crews/editing departments talk about why they use certain angles or shots, or writers explain why tiny moments seasons ago sometimes are preplanned and crafted
#911#buddie#evan buckley#911 abc#eddie diaz#911 fox#911onfox#evan buck buckley#911 discourse#fandom discourse#sorta#but just to be safe
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my FAVORITE trope i rarely see in nischa fics is mischa having a MASSIVE crush on noel, and noel despite his romantic nature is completely oblivious to it/in doubt Mischa would ever be into him, so he just assumes Mischa is just REALLY friendly. i mostly like it cuz it kinda feels like whenever people write Mischa as oblivious, they just end up making him stupid and there's WAY too many implications about non-native English speakers being dumb for me to ignore.
#also#because the trope of “gay guy falls for guy he thinks is straight” when done poorly comes off kinda homophobic tbh#obvi no hate#and i do like a good oblivious mischa fic when done right lol#sorry if this post comes off as negitive#its just an interesting thing I've noticed#also I'm not saying EVERONE does this/no one should write mischa as oblivious but just like#be a little more mindful about that sorta thing when you write y'know?#cuz i know most of the time it's not purposeful/done in bad faith#nischa#noel x mischa#mischa x noel#noel gruber#mischa bachinski#ride the cyclone#rtc#mischa rtc#rtc musical#noel rtc#rant#rant ish#tw rant#not really but im tagging it anyway to be safe
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I’m very curious about the party’s reaction to finding out that Siffrin is a ghost/imaginary friend given life through craft for your Show’s Cancelled AU.
As somebody who hasn’t seen the Genshin story this was inspired from, I’d imagine that the party would start to look for Siffrin and eventually stumble upon the King’s old house. There would probably be something in there that revealed Siffrin’s connections to the King and what exactly happened to Siffrin.
(Just an additional thought of what if the King’s craft keeping Siffrin alive was a more deliberate thing instead of a passive thing. Like what if the King killed Siffrin and then regretted it, using wish craft to bring Siffrin back.)
(Also, If the King’s wish craft was keeping Siffrin alive, then couldn’t another wishcraft user bring Siffrin back?)
Okay, so! Everyone else except Bonnie didn't know about Siffrin's whole "hasn't actually been alive for years" thing until after they've defeated the King. Bonnie figured it out a while before reaching Dormont and thought it was kinda neat being a sort of ghost, if not a bit sad that Siffrin couldn't experience things like he used to. They were also pretty excited at the notion of having their own super special secret only they and Siffrin were privy to
The others tho did know there had been something between Siffrin and the King before as they went up the House, especially during the confrontation and the three in the know just basically implying something really bad happened
Siffrin already made everyone forget him when Odile, Mirabelle, and Isabeau figure it out. They were all trying to piece together fragmented memories of him while looking for him when Odile realizes they won't find him, physically at least, and screw it she's gonna drag him back one way or another
They do also stumble upon where the King used to live while trying to find a way to get Siffrin to stick around longer. Mostly a bunch of notes both had on ways to bring back the island into memory scattered around, and some of Siffrin's stuff like his cloak and hat hidden away in a box
Also on that additional thought- the craft was deliberate but the end result was accidental. Memory is a bit more important in the AU's world building (kind of a bit more in line with Genshin and it's whole thing about remembrance = existence) and the two made an attempt to force the island to be remembered. The wish that made the island disappear and the ones they made ended up mixing weird, and it resulted in Siffrin getting killed but still being around and tied to the King's initial wish
#show's cancelled au#ask#anon#isat spoilers#genshin spoilers#just to be safe sjxgskc#y'know that part in Act 3 with the red? yeah the two did a similar attempt#Siffrin probably feels guilty about dying and it being the reason Vaugard is getting frozen haha#but the King would've pulled something regardless if Siffrin survived or not#anyway I also have this sorta funny scene in my head for a hypothetical fic I can't write#where it gets revealed that Siffrin has been the one narrating the beginning parts#like it's in someone else's pov but with his “voice'' in text#anyway Odile dream sequence and she spots Siffrin and Siffrin's narration suddenly goes from passive to active#and kicks out Odile from the dream and she gets kinda miffed about the one they've been looking for kicking her out djdhdkg
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weird question but do we... know if the demons are fertile at all??? obviously they have sex drives,,, but do we hear of any kids? i mean if it comes down to it adopting luke is always an option. just going to have to wrestle him from Simon if you're with anyone other than him
🐈⬛
Note: discussion of fertility and having kids (just in case)
Hello there, 🐈⬛ anon!
As far as I know, the only demon kids we hear about are Diavolo, Mephistopheles, and presumably Mephisto's little brother.
Diavolo tells us that his mother died after giving birth to him, so I think it's safe to assume that demons are fertile to some extent.
Of course, there's always the fan favorite theory that Dia's mom was a human or an angel. Which would mean at the very least that demons are fertile enough to have children with other species. So even if this turns out to be canon, I think it's still safe to assume demons are fertile.
We hear a lot less about Mephisto and his brother, but the brother certainly sounds like he's still considered a kid. And Mephisto says something about being born to be Dia's friend, so generally I think most of us imagine them as having been kids together.
Due to this, I think it's perfectly reasonable for any of the demons to have kids. It seems that it may be difficult, though. Because if demons could have kids as easily (and sometimes accidentally) as humans, then likely there would be a lot more demon kids than we hear about. (And possibly a lot more demons in general.)
I like to think that the demon population is much smaller than it is for humans (by like a lot 'cause dang there are a lot of humans). I think of it as like maybe being around 8 million in the city proper (like the size of New York City). And then the rest is more scattered and in a lot of less populated cities and such. Maybe around 20 million? And some of that would also be non demons, since they talk about vampires and whatnot else. And also some of those are gonna be those small type demons that sound like they're fairy sized.
Anyway, all of this is to say that if demons are popping out kids at the same rates as humans for all their long lives, there'd be WAY more of them. Like the whole world times five maybe. I dunno, it sounds like the live for thousands upon thousands of years, but still might only have one or two kids that whole time.
So they either have amazing contraception or it's actually rather difficult for them to actually have a child.
Then there's the question of how demons might be created from magic - whether exploding out of a different demon's emotions Satan-style or possibly just magical spells that allow one to create a child.
In the case of MC, I think it's possible. They might need to use some magic to make it happen (depending on how easy it is for any of the other demons to impregnate MC/get impregnated by MC), but it definitely sounds like something that can happen.
I like the idea of MC just adopting random demon kids, though. 'Cause you're right, you'll have to wrestle Simeon for Luke lol!
#not me getting super analytical about this#I'm a weirdo I know#but I can't help but think about these things#um I think I should maybe put a tw here?#I'll do it just in case#tw fertility#cw fertility#tw pregnancy#cw pregnancy#sorta I don't really talk about the details but you know better safe that sorry right?#obey me#obey me nightbringer#🐈⬛ anon#misc answers
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That I Would Be Good [3/5]
Whatever It's Worth
“For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”
A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”
You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”
He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”
- - - - - - -
In This Chapter
Sun attempts some level-headed honesty with his hands in your hair, and Moon gets a little overzealous when it comes to his unofficial position as Household Chef.
Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader
Word Count: 4,779
Contains: [AU - Real World | Sentient AI/Automatons | Personality Swap] [implied EDNOS] [invasion of privacy] [implication of past self-harming behavior] [Reader has their period (not graphically described)] [discussion of menstruation] [discussion of various foods and nutrition] [one (1) use of a fem gendered term for Reader] [discussion and feelings of dysphoria] [eating]
A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from ‘That I Would Be Good’ by Alanis Morissette.
This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.
Links to other parts of this fic: [Ch.1] [Ch.2] [Ch.3 (you are here)] [Ch.4] [Ch.5]
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth.
After rinsing the remainder of lightly-tinted soap suds out of your hair, off of your body, and down the drain, you bend down to turn the shower off. Gently squeezing the worst of the water out of your locks, you straighten back up and pull the shower door aside.
Then you shout.
��SUN! What the fuck are you doing?!”
You quickly step behind the blurry frosted glass of the shower door, leaving only your head peeking around the edge. You shiver in the relatively cold air that rushes to fill the shower stall as you await an answer. The solar automaton is currently leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and casual as ever, monitor flipped around 180 degrees in what you assume was meant to be a silent assurance that he wasn’t watching you.
“I have a question.”
Your eyes pinch closed and your features scrunch up in frustration, silently asking any higher power out there to grant you the patience to deal with this nonsense. “And it couldn’t wait until I got dressed?”
He shrugs. “I don’t see why it would need to.”
You silently press your forehead against the cool metal of the shower door’s frame.
“…Are you decent yet or must I continue admiring the grout between the tiles on this wall behind me?”
You huff, reaching out of the shower and grabbing your bathrobe off of its designated hook. “Just one… damn second…” You cinch the rope around your waist and step gingerly out onto the bath mat. “Okay, I’m ‘decent.’ Now—pray tell—what do you need to ask me?”
He leans his upper body away from the wall, rays retracting to give himself enough clearance to flip his monitor around. His rays slide back out in tandem after he turns his head to face you, and he rests his shoulders against the wall once more. “I was wondering why you’ve taken three showers today.”
You stand there, blinking in disbelief. “That’s it?”
“Yes. It’s… concerning. I wanted to make sure you weren’t up to any… harmful behaviors in here while left unsupervised.”
You roll your eyes. “‘Left unsupervised…’ What is this, some kind of inpatient program? Christ, Sun, this is my house! Can’t I catch a break?”
You throw your arms up in frustration, and he doesn’t answer you immediately. It isn’t until you deflate, dropping your exaggerated expression and bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose that he finally responds in a quieter tone. “You… concern me. I don’t know what to do.”
You sigh, trying to reign in your frustration.
Sometimes you forget that he has a lot less experience with being a person than you do.
You try to cut him some slack. “Sun, I appreciate the concern over my wellbeing. But I promise you, the only destructive behavior going on in this bathroom today is the damage I'm doing to my hair.”
He’s quiet, processing your words for a moment before he announces an observation. “It’s a lighter shade than it was this morning.”
You nod. “I sure hope it is. I’ve been in here washing the hell out of it with this fading treatment, trying to get the color I wanted.”
His expression is something between confused and disapproving. “You aren’t supposed to do that. It’s bad for your hair to wash it so much.”
You turn to the mirror and toy with your hair, dismissing him. “Yeah, yeah. Jeez, who are you, my hairdresser?”
He steps into view beside you in the mirror, leaning in closer to examine your hair. “Maybe if you’d gone to one instead of DIY-ing it you’d have gotten the color you wanted.”
You lock eyes with his reflection for a long moment. “…Touché.”
He seems pleased enough with your response, stepping back a bit and watching you futz with your hair in the mirror.
“Have your concerns been quelled now, or…?”
“…I suppose.” He replies, making no move to exit the bathroom.
“…Well then are you gonna just stand there and watch me apply my leave-in conditioner or what?”
He ignores your question, leaning in close to you again. Pinching the end of a damp lock of hair between the pads of his fingers, he hums his dissent. “You really need to quit fucking with your hair if you want to still have any left.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Goodness, the way you worded that almost sounds like a threat!”
His eyes meet yours in the mirror again and he smirks. “No… just a warning.”
He drags the tail end of your hair along the palm of his opposite hand, like idly toying with a paintbrush. “You’re always awfully concerned about the appearance of your hair.”
You cock a brow up at that. “Are you sure that isn’t a threat, Sun?”
A noise escapes him: half-scoff, half-laugh, and he sounds oddly genuine when he reassures you. “It’s not. I just… noticed.”
He releases your hair and you can finally lean far enough away to open the cabinet. “Mhm. What don’t you notice.”
He ignores your comment in favor of hitting you with another set of sudden left-field questions. “Are you afraid of getting older? Or are you afraid of losing control.”
Your hand halts, hovering halfway toward retrieving the conditioner from the cabinet, and drops back down to your side as you turn to face him. “What?”
“I’ve learned that some people dye their hair because they want to appear younger than they are. I’ve also seen many posts online where people describe making drastic changes to their hair while going through something difficult in their life. The concept appears in a number of song lyrics too. It seems to me like an attempt at gaining a sense of control.”
The fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.
The not-so-fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that they’re always asking questions and compiling information about the world around them.
You’d liken it to having a fully grown adult with the curiosity and learning capacity of a child, if you didn’t want to feel even weirder about your “Creator x Creation” dynamic than you already do sometimes.
“While I… appreciate your attempts to psychoanalyze me based on my hair-dyeing habits, I regret to inform you that it’s neither of those things for me, Sunny.” You consider it a moment more, and add on. “…As far as I’m aware, at least.”
His head tilts to the side a bit. “You don’t have to patronize me.”
“I… wasn’t?”
“You used that name for me. ‘Sunny.’ It made your statement sound… patronizing.”
Another fun thing about living with sentient, learning AI is that you get to clear up all sorts of little miscommunications.
“Oh, no, I—I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m sorry, Sun. That wasn’t my intention.”
He doesn’t let it go so quickly. “Based on my calculations, a nickname like that tends to be used in one of three ways—patronizing, dismissive, or affectionate. Care to clarify which one it was?”
You level him with an unamused stare. “No, I don’t care to clarify.”
You then turn to retrieve the conditioner from the cabinet, effectively shutting down that line of questioning. You grab the body lotion while you’re at it, and as you set your items down on the counter, you attempt to free yourself of your overly-curious bathroom companion. “Unless you’re waiting around to help me put this stuff in my hair, I'm afraid it’s time for you to go find something else to do for a little while, Sun.”
His response is… unexpected. “I… can help.”
What has gotten into this guy recently? Used to be you had to fight to get one nice word out of him and now here he is playing ‘20 Questions’ and offering to condition your hair?
“I… didn’t expect you to actually—”
“If you didn’t want me to offer then why’d you ask?”
You squint at him, unamused. “Sun, c’mon, I know you grasp the concepts of sarcasm and rhetoric.”
Once again ignoring your statement, he pushes himself away from the wall and holds out his upturned palms in an open gesture of offering. “Would you like me to help or not?”
You’re quite sure he expects you to turn him down, so you agree to his offer, if for no other reason than to subvert his expectations. “You know what? Yeah, sure. I’d love the help, Sunny.”
He freezes for a moment—processing—but you’ve gotta admit, he collects himself surprisingly fast, apparently feeling up to the challenge.
Once you explain how much of the product to use and how to apply it, you quickly find yourself staring into the mirror, watching Sun carefully and methodically work conditioner into your hair and wondering how you got here.
Eventually a question pops up and you break through his focused silence. “Does it really look lighter than it did earlier today?”
“…Yes. But if you want my honest opinion it looked just fine before you scrubbed the life out of it three times.”
You huff in surprise at his bluntness. “Damn, okay, tell me how you really feel…”
“When have you ever known me to mince my words?”
“I know, I know. It’s fine. I appreciate your honesty.”
Silence settles over the two of you for another few moments, but he eventually pipes back up. “For whatever it’s worth, I think it always looks fine. I think you fuss over it too damn much, but regardless… it’s… fine. You always look fine to me. You’d look fine even if you didn’t have any hair at all.”
A small smile blooms across your features as his words sink in. “That’s… that’s the closest thing to a compliment you’ve ever given me, Sun.”
You turn and he lets the ends of your hair slip from his hands, looking a bit caught off guard at your sudden motion. You ignore his false eyes and look directly into the camera in the center of his screen. “Thank you.”
He remains frozen for a moment before his display dims to black and he turns, quickly scrubbing the worst remnants of conditioner off of his hands and onto a nearby towel. “I think your hair has been conditioned enough.”
Your tone quickly becomes teasing. “Aww, is somebody flustered?”
He reaches for the doorknob. “It’s time for me to walk Zero. I trust you can moisturize the rest of yourself without my assistance.”
Quickly making his very smooth retreat, as your laughter subsides, you’re left there to apply your lotion in thoughtful silence.
That I would be great if I was no longer Queen.
“Does this feel more like an ‘apple-cinnamon’ or ‘banana-walnut’ kind of day?”
You release a soft sigh as you raise your head from where it’d been… briefly planted atop your crossed arms, and you lean back into your seat at the kitchen table. “You really don’t have to do every single thing for me, Moon.”
His monitor clicks, spinning a few degrees back and forth to accompany his playful rebuttal. “And leave me with no task to occupy these idle hands? Why, I feel like that’d be just cruel.” The pout he wears doesn’t do much to convince you, nor to ease the guilt you feel.
He can tell as much, and tries a more serious approach. “Star… you’re menstruating. From what I can tell, this is a more painful period than normal. I’m sure in no small part due to the excess stress you’ve been under this past month. You deserve to rest as much as possible right now.”
“I figured you’d be in favor of me getting up and moving around. Isn’t that supposed to help in the long-run?”
He nods. “It can. But it tends to help the most when stretching and physical activity is maintained throughout the entire monthly cycle, not just once you’re already bleeding and in pain.”
His explanation is straightforward, but soft spoken, everything in his tone and body language obviously trying not to offend, accuse, or criticize. “Besides, bugging you to exercise tends to fall more under Sun’s jurisdiction, and he’s had his reasons for prioritizing other aspects of your well-being this month.”
Speak of the devil, Moon’s other half strides into the kitchen with Zero trailing closely behind. He has no trouble falling into the conversation. “I can help you through some gentle stretches later today if you’d like, but I second the notion that you should rest right now. I don’t need to hear any more groans and curses from you like I heard after you insisted on cleaning up the living room and prepping your own dinner last night.”
You rest your chin in your palm. “I ‘insisted’ because I just… I feel like I put too much on you guys. You don’t deserve to have to do all this shit for me.”
Sun scoffs, speaking with his back to you as he pulls open a cabinet door. “Trust me, you’re doing us all a favor by letting this one over here dote on you. I fear he’d go mad if there wasn’t always some task he could busy himself with, and he seems to favor any task that falls under the realm of taking care of you.” He turns to face you, mug in hand. “Now, what do you want to drink?”
You’d laugh at the juxtaposition of his words and his actions, but the deep pain of another cramp sets in and you weakly wave a hand in defeat. “Just some hot water, please.” He hums in confirmation and moves to grab the kettle. You turn your focus back to Moon. “I’ll let you… appease your instincts. It’s kinda my fault that you’ve got ‘em in the first place.”
His expression brightens, round eyes curling into his signature crescents. “Good! Now, shall I list your options again?”
You shake your head and hum a negative, mulling it over for a moment as you take hold of the steaming mug of water that Sun quietly slides in front of you. “Uhh… actually, can I just have it plain today?”
Moon smiles softly, head twisted back over his shoulder to look at you while he pulls a carton of dry oats from the pantry. “Of course, star. Would you like some sugar on it or do you want it truly plain?”
You shove aside the inner voice whispering to you about ‘empty calories’. “…I guess a little brown sugar wouldn’t hurt.”
Moon brightens a little at your answer. “Good choice! I hear that brown sugar gives it a maple syrup-y taste thanks to the molasses. Oh, that makes me think of pancakes! And waffles! And french toast! I should make one of those tomorrow. How does that sound?”
You smile at his growing excitement over tomorrow’s breakfast, in spite of the fact that he won’t even get to partake. Another cramp sets in as you respond and you try to keep the strain out of your voice. “They all sound good, but I don’t know if I can choose right now…”
He gently places a small pot of water on the stove, turning the burner’s dial with practiced precision. “That’s alright, there’s no rush! It’s just some—heh—food for thought!”
Sun groans at the joke, and Moon defends it. “Hey, no—that was a good one!”
Zero noses at Sun’s hand, stealing his attention before he can begin to debate with Moon. As you passively watch him pull the dog’s breakfast from the fridge, a random thought occurs. “Do we still have any Ruffles left?”
Moon opens a different cabinet and shuffles a few bags around in his search. “Weeee… do!”
You’re hesitant to request the odd combination, but your craving wins the inner battle. “Can I… have some of those too?”
“You certainly can!”
Sun reaches past Moon to grab Zero’s bowl from the dish rack, speaking beneath his mechanical breath. “Sugar and salt, what a breakfast.”
“They’re fine choices!” Moon chipperly responds, the word ‘fine’ punctuated by a small smack to the back of Sun’s monitor.
Sun’s rays retract as he ducks down and steps back, distancing himself from Moon’s reach. “I never said they weren’t.” He sets Zero’s bowl on the counter with emphasis. “But you might want to throw some sort of multivitamin in with that salty-sweet mix.”
“I always see to it that they meet their daily needs, Sun.” Moon’s voice rarely wavers from its amicable tone, but there’s an undercurrent of finality to it now that quiets any further commentary from his other half.
As he stirs the simmering oats on the stove, his monitor turns to face you. “Oh, speaking of! I was thinking about making you something with spinach and tofu for lunch. You could use the iron, and the magnesium might help to ease your cramps. Plus the vitamin C should help you absorb the iron, and- oh! I could add some wild rice, or potatoes. The additional B vitamins should help the magnesium, and they support progesterone prod—” The kitchen timer dings, stealing his attention and interrupting his ensuing nutritional ramble.
Twisting his head back around, he turns the burner’s dial off. “Anyways—point is—how does that sound to you? I could cube the tofu and toss it into a spinach salad, I could slice and fry it and arrange it together on a sandwich, or I could even sauté the spinach and make a tofu scramble!”
His excited discussion of all of your lunch options is a bit overwhelming to you, considering you haven’t even conquered breakfast yet. Still, you bear in mind that he’s only trying to help, over-enthusiastic as he may be sometimes. “Uhm… the sandwich sounds nice.”
“Alright! Then it shall be yours.” He moves to pass behind you, enroute to retrieve a bowl from the other side of the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your blanket-clad shoulders in a brief embrace. “Anything the Queen of the castle desires is hers upon command.”
You both giggle a bit at his playful expression, and Sun rolls his eyes, accompanied by a dramatic gagging sound. Zero’s happy tail thwacks repeatedly against one leg of the kitchen table. All is well.
Except it isn’t.
As Moon returns to the stove and Sun portions out Zero’s meal, you struggle to fight back the feeling that what he’d just said didn’t sit right.
It had nothing to do with his devotion to service and everything to do with the concept of you being “Queen.” All of this morning’s focus on your menstrual cycle, coupled with this ‘princess’ treatment and compounded by his casual use of feminine terms for you, suddenly has you feeling more like a woman than you suppose you’d like to.
Trying to push the nagging uncomfortable feeling aside, you pull your phone from your sweatpants pocket. You attempt to distract yourself with a mindless scroll through your notifications as the pleasant smell of your breakfast fills the room.
After presenting Zero with her own breakfast, Sun takes a seat across from you at the small table. You can feel his analytical gaze on you, pointedly avoiding eye contact when you glance up from your phone to sip your water.
By the time Moon presents you with your breakfast, the feeling has done nothing but rapidly fester. You try to distract yourself with the meal, but not even the absurd sight of your requested potato chips—on a plate, methodically arranged by size and laid atop one another in a spiral—is enough to rid you of it. You do your best to sound unbothered when you thank him, and he falters as he moves to step away from the table. “You’re very welc-ome… Is, uh… everything okay, star?”
Sun doesn’t beat around the bush. “Something’s wrong. Is the pain getting worse?”
You’re quick to shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. Just… thinking about something.”
Moon’s hand comes to rest on the back of the nearest empty chair. “Well… talking tends to help people sort their thoughts out, no? We’re all ears if you’d like to get it off your chest.”
You hesitate and Sun straightens in his seat. “If my presence is preventing you from opening up, I can leave the room.”
Your gaze flicks to him, brows knitted. “What? No, no—I… why would you think that?”
He shrugs. If the notion bothers him, he doesn’t let it show. “I’m sure Moon is… the easier of the two of us to talk to. You seemed to be getting more uncomfortable the longer I sat here. Makes sense to me that maybe you’d rather me not hear about whatever’s going on.”
You start to feel a bit guilty that that’s the conclusion he jumped to. “No, Sun, that’s not… I mean, okay—yeah, I could feel you watching me, but just about anyone gets uncomfortable when they know they’re being watched. Your penchant for staring isn’t… you’re not keeping me from opening up.” You look him directly in the eye. “There isn’t anything I’d say to one of you that I wouldn’t want the other to hear. I don’t want either of you thinking that.”
Sun’s fingertips drum along the table and his faceplate clicks to the side. “Okay then, what is stopping you?”
You pull in a deep breath, internally debating whether it’s even worth explaining.
“You… don’t have to tell us, if you really don’t want to.”
You give Moon a tired smile, opening your mouth only for a defeated sigh to fall out. “It’s… nothing, really. Stupid, even.”
Moon frowns. “Did one of us do or say something wrong?”
“No… I mean—not really. Not intentionally! It’s just…” You groan, resting your forehead in your palms. “I feel uncomfortably… feminine. Today. For some reason.”
He nods slowly. “Oh…kay…”
You attempt to elaborate. “I know I don’t talk about it much. You guys know I use She/They pronouns and there’s no more explanation really required. But… I don’t know. Something lately has just had me wishing I was more masculine. Or—at least more androgynous, I guess. And with all this focus on my period, and—”
Sun, the ever patient listener he is, cuts you off. “Menstruation is not inherently feminine. Any human can have periods if they have a uterus.”
You nod quickly. “Yes—I—I agree, but you’ve gotta take into account that that’s a relatively new take on the concept. It’s a good one, of course, but… a lot of people still associate having periods with being a woman. It’s been so tied to femininity for so long, always seen as a ‘woman’s issue’ that… it can be a difficult thing to un-internalize. It’s a common cause of dysphoria in transmasc and nonbinary people.”
He listens intently, rays slowly circling his head as he considers your point. “Right… right. I see. That makes sense.”
You take a pause to sip your cooling drink and recall where you left off. “It… honestly doesn’t usually bother me this bad. I couldn’t tell you what’s different about this month, it’s just not sitting well with me. But I do appreciate knowing that you two don’t see it as making me feminine. That does help. It’s just…” You shake your head. “Ugh, this is so silly…”
Moon slowly pulls back on the chair he’s been holding onto, stepping around and gently taking a seat. “It’s not silly if it’s bothering you.”
Sun nods, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “He’s right.”
You meet both of their gazes in turn with a small smile before casting your eyes back down to the table. “It’s not a big deal, though. It just… on top of already feeling very feminine, it sat with me wrong when you called me ‘Queen’ earlier. That’s… that’s literally all!” You punctuate your confession with laughter, trying your best to make light of the issue.
Moon’s eyes brighten. “Oh! Oh… oh goodness you’re right! I didn’t even—I didn’t even think…”
You raise a hand out toward him, quick to stop his unnecessary apologies. “It’s not your fault! I promise. You had no clue I was feeling… this way today, and I know you didn’t mean anything by it. I’m not upset with you, I’m… honestly way more upset with myself that I’m so bothered about it in the first place.”
Sun throws his opinion into the ring. “I don’t think either of you are at fault. Moon didn’t know you were feeling this way, and you can’t really control when you feel this way.”
Moon nods and you follow suit. “Yeah, I was hesitant to say anything because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I already feel like I’m… hah—‘overly-sensitive’ right now anyways.”
Sun’s expression quickly shifts to disapproval. “Oh, that stereotype can get fucked. You feel how you feel and that’s that. It’s just as real right now as it would be at any other point in your cycle.”
Your eyes widen at Sun’s insistent tone and Moon chuckles a bit at the sight. “I agree, star. And… I don’t think that you’re making a ‘big deal’ about it at all. Honestly, I think the best way to not make it a big deal is to not be afraid to tell us if we use a term for you that makes you uncomfortable. I’d much rather you tell me than just try to ignore the feeling.” He reaches out to place a hand over yours. “We know that your identity isn’t set in stone. If there’s ever something you want to be called, or something you don’t want to be called, the best thing you can do is just let us know, okay?”
Unable to fight the affectionate smile that pulls at your cheeks, you flip your hand over to grab his properly, and squeeze. “Okay. Yeah, that… I can do that. Thank you for understanding.”
His faceplate contentedly clicks a few degrees to the right, his smile soft. “Thank you for telling us.”
Feeling flustered and just a bit overwhelmed by how surprisingly smooth that went, you give his hand one more squeeze before pulling back to wrap it around your mug instead. You clear your throat as you do so, looking for something less intense to say. “I uh, I guess for now I’d just like to stick to gender-neutral stuff, okay?”
Moon nods eagerly. “Of course! Easy-peasy. I can even remedy what I said earlier if you’d like!” He’s muttering to himself before you can even tell him that that’s not really necessary. “Oh—uhm… hmmm…. what’s a good neutral alternative to ‘Queen’…”
Sun instantly starts listing suggestions. “Monarch. Ruler. Sovereign.” His rays spin a quick round, a tell that he’s taking his internal database search online for more information. “‘Caln’ is apparently a monarch word based on the Q slash K sound of Queen and King, if that sounds better to your ear.”
He suddenly barks a laugh and your brows raise in interest. “What?”
He shakes his head dismissively, still chuckling. “Nothing, just… Quora results. The questions some people pose are truly something.”
Moon’s interest is piqued. “What’d you find that was funny enough to make you laugh?”
Sun’s voice shifts to his ‘default human’ impression. “If Queen Elizabeth announced she was gender fluid, dot-dot-dot…”
You stifle a laugh. “That’s certainly one way to pose the question.”
“What's the rest say?” Moon asks.
Sun waves his hand in dismissal. “I don’t know. The preview was humorous, but I wasn’t compelled to follow the link to the full thing. Quora gives me a headache. I’ve moved on.”
Moon playfully pouts as Sun expands his list of suggestions. “Excellency. Majesty. Highness. Grace. Eminence. …Quing?… Oh, apparently ‘Caln’ is queer. Wait, do they mean queer created or queer exclusive…”
You interject before he spends the next hour falling down a rabbit hole of royal terms. “You could go the meme-y route and call me Liege.”
Moon’s attention shifts back toward you. “Is that one gender neutral?”
“I… think so?” You shrug. “Sounds neutral enough to me. Though I honestly wouldn’t mind a bit of masculinity to counterbalance the way I’m… feeling right now.”
He nods sagely as Sun’s list of suggestions continues to grow, getting more and more obscure as he delves further and further into his search.
You can’t help but laugh a bit as you dig a spoon into your oats, beginning to breathe easier with the reminder that you’re in very considerate company.
A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I’ll be back in a few days with part 4! You can also find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Image Sources: x - x - x
#fnaf#fnaf au#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop x reader#moondrop x reader#dca x reader#sundrop#moondrop#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sun x reader#moon x reader#fnaf sun x reader#fnaf moon x reader#sun x reader x moon#fnaf fanfic#Seven.txt - In The Daylight#[Not] Made by Design#publishing this chapter while on my own period - while not intentional - feels pretty fitting#it feels weird just. going back to posting fanfic like a Terrible Major World Event didn't just happen without like. Saying anything#but i'm a wee bit disconnected from reality rn and i don't have anything constructive to say anyways#but Ch.4 has a sorta Relevant Theme in it so i'll give any election-related commentary i have on that chapter's notes in a few days instead#for now i'm just gonna go eat some more ice cream ignore the world and try to get some sleep#and i hope any of you out there that are also struggling/hurting/grieving can stay safe and find some peace tonight <3
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